#just had to go find the clip bc i knew it was a thing that happened

[dandp]

Remember when Phil spit in Dan's mouth and made an oMg tHeY kiSseD joke wtf was that

[mamaestapa]

Closer|| Joe Burrow x reader

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•summary: After the first pre-season game of the season, Joe helps you become somebody else while you help him get away from himself…

•word count: 4.4k

•warnings: SMUT, inspired by the song Closer by Nine Inch Nails, unprotected p in v sex, rough sex, oral sex (male and female receiving) ,foreplay, hair pulling kink, whipped cream, belly shots, brief blindfolding (inspired by @tigertales9 fic) reader has a belly button piercing (even if you don’t have one, you do for this fic bc it’s so hot), blood, choking, SMUT, this is pure filth (i think it’s so cringe i’m so sorry babes😭)

You were sitting on the couch, scrolling mindlessly through Instagram as you waited for Joe to get back home from Paycor stadium.

Tonight was the first pre-season game of the 2023 season. While Joe wasn't able to play tonight due to his calf strain (and the Bengals not playing starters), you still attended the game to show your support for your boyfriend and his team. The game didn't quite go the way you or the fans had hoped, but you had to remind yourself—It's just pre-season.

During the game, you sat up in the suite with Morgan, Holly, Jess, and some of the other Bengals WAGS. As you sat up in the suite, you split your attention between the game and your phone—scrolling through Instagram and Twitter to try and find a photo or a video of Joe. Since he wasn't playing tonight, you weren't seeing much of him. As soon as you opened Twitter, you came across a video of Joe on the sidelines.

You pressed play, eyes widening as you watched the clip. Joe was wearing a black shirt and shorts with the Bengals logo on both articles of clothing. His right calf was covered with a black sleeve and he had on a bucket hat. In the video he took the hat off, running his fingers through his grown out hair before putting a backwards cap on instead. 

Your heart raced and you crossed your legs as the video came to an end. Joe looked insanely hot on the sidelines in all black wearing a backwards cap. Something about that look had you going absolutely feral and feeling your pulse in other areas.

You shut your phone off and set it down in your lap. You pulled your bottom lip in between your teeth as you looked out onto the field, watching the rest of the game.

You couldn't wait for the game to be over...

So here you are now a couple hours later: sitting on the couch and waiting for Joe to come home. Just as you picked up your phone to check the time, Joe entered the house through the garage. He set his belongings down on the counter, huffing out a loud sigh as he did so. You chuckled to yourself and got up from the couch, walking into the kitchen. A small smile pulled at Joe's lips as he looked at you.

"Hey hot stuff." you greeted as you wrapped your arms around your boyfriend. Joe chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, leaning down to kiss your temple. "Hey yourself."

You hummed and pulled away from Joe, looking into his soft blue eyes. Your eyes scanned Joe's figure, taking in his beautiful eyes, his chiseled jawline, and that stupid backwards cap that had you feeling things you shouldn't be feeling. You brought a hand up to Joe’s head, slightly tipping the cap back which made Joe chuckle.

“What?” you asked coyly, even though you knew exactly what he was going to say to you.

“You have that look on your face.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Joe smirked and snaked his arms back around your waist, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You could feel the warmth radiating off of both of your bodies as you stood pressed against each other. Joe leaned in to the side of your head, his voice growing lustful as he spoke into your ear.

“You know exactly what look I’m talking about sweetheart…”

You pulled back from Joe, looking up at him with a slight smirk on your face. You brought your hand back up to the backwards cap on his head.

“You looked so good tonight Joey, in your all black and your backwards cap…” you sighed blissfully, “something about you on the sidelines has me all worked up.” Joe‘s eyes grew dark with lust as he smirked down at you. He gently squeezed your waist as he said, “Well maybe we should do something about that.”

“Maybe we should…” You trailed off. Before you knew it, your lips were smashed against Joe’s as you rushed into the bedroom, taking the cap off of his dark blonde hair and tugging at the hem of his black shirt.

…

Joe hooked his fingers underneath your t-shirt, ripping the black material off your body with ease as he continued to kiss you hungrily, wanting to taste more than just your soft lips. Joe's veiny hands gripped your bare sides as he pushed you up against the wall of his bedroom. His blue eyes grew dark with lust as he gazed down at your breasts sitting perfectly in a red, lace pushup bra. It was Joe's favorite bra of yours. It never failed to grow his arousal even more.

"Much better." Joe smirked as he eyed your perky breasts. He harshly cupped your left breast, digging his digits into the cup as he kissed along your jawline. Your breathing grew shallow as he bit at your skin. You threw your head back at the feeling of his lips, bringing your hands up to his unruly dark blonde waves and tugging at the tips as Joe began to suck harshly at your neck.

"Mmm," you moaned out as Joe's kisses grew sloppier. He pulled his face away from your neck, smirking slyly at you as he toyed with the waistband of your jean shorts. He slipped two fingers into your pants, brushing them up against your clothed core. You gasped as Joe's fingers teased your sensitive clit through the lace, his movements making the wetness between your thighs more apparent. Joe gave you a sultry look with his tongue pressed against the side of his mouth as he pulled his hand out of your shorts. Joe harshly pulled you away from the wall, pushing you down flat onto the bed instead. You let out a breath as excitement swirled through your body. You haven't been this way with Joe in a long time.

Joe ripped your buttoned shorts open with ease, slowly sliding them down your legs before tossing them to the floor next to the bed. His lustful eyes scanned over your body. He looked at your face first taking in those doe eyes and your plump lips. His eyes trailed down to your chest, his heart was racing as he looked at your breasts sitting perfectly in the cups lined with lace. He then trailed his eyes further, a smirk pulling at his lips as he looked at your perfectly pierced belly button and your lace covered core. You were the most beautiful girl he's ever laid his eyes on.

As Joe looked at your figure, an idea came to his mind. Something he's never done before, but something he's wanted to try for a long time. He reached out to the bedside table and grabbed what he was thinking of.

"Put this on..." Joe trailed off, handing you his black headband with the Bengals logo in the middle. You eyed Joe as you took the headband from him, sliding it onto your forehead and wearing it just like he did. Joe shook his head at you and leaned in to grab the headband, pulling it down so your eyes were covered.

"There we go." He whispered huskily, his arousal growing at the sight of you blindfolded by his headband. "What are you doing?" You asked, voice quiet and also slightly confused. Joe has never blindfolded you before.

"You'll see." Joe purred as he trailed a hand down your body. Your core ached and your heart fluttered at the thought of trying something different with Joe. Not only were you excited, but your body was excited, too. You closed your eyes as they were met with darkness from the headband. You couldn't see anything, but you could hear everything going on. Joe grabbed the whipped cream and the bottle of rosé from the bedside table. He took the lid off of the whipped cream, shaking it before taking the lid off and putting it in between his lips. He spit the lid out, the red cap hitting the wall behind the two of you before it fell to the floor.

Joe eyed your breasts as he shook the can of whipped cream in one hand. He reached out for you with his other hand, placing it on your left rib. His long, skilled fingers slowly trailed up your sides, making you shiver at the sensation. Joe unclasped your bra, wetting his lips as he watched the red material fall from your chest, letting your breasts free. Joe pressed the white tip of the whipped cream can. He made a circular motion with the can as he sprayed the cream onto your hard nipples. As soon as he was satisfied with the amount, he threw the can to the side and immediately attached his mouth to the sensitive bud, sucking at the sweet cream that adorned your breasts. His tongue swirled over each of your nipples, making sure to lap up every last bit of the sweet cream.

"Oh Joe," you let out a breathy moan at the feeling of Joe's tongue swirling around your hard nipples. You could feel yourself getting wetter just from him lapping up the whipped cream. Joe chuckled at your reaction as he detached his lips from your right breast. He leaned over and grabbed the bottle of rosé off of the bed and pulled the cap off with a slight pop. You pulled Joe's headband off of your eyes just in time to see him bring the tip of the bottle down to your belly, letting it rest against your skin as he poured the rosé into your belly button. He eyed you as he quickly slurped the rosé as some of the liquid trickled down your sides

"That's new." You said, an amused smile on your face as you watched Joe slurp the rose out of your belly button. Joe's never done belly shots from you either...

Tonight is already proving to be one of those nights where you and Joe help each other become someone else together, not only romantically but sexually, too.

Slurping out all the rosé, Joe bit down on the jewelry adorning your navel. He loved to play with your piercing during sex. Something about the silver diamond jewelry just got him even more excited. You brought your hands down to Joe's hair, running your nails over his scalp as he continued to bite at and play with your navel piercing. You bit your lip and let out a soft whimper as he tugged harshly at the ring while gently cupping your breasts as he did so.

You could feel Joe's chuckle vibrate against your belly. "You like that?" he asked, a teasing smirk on his face as he looked up at you through his lashes. "Mhm..." You trailed off, your response coming out as a blissful moan. It was hard for you to form words right now with the way Joe was teasing you. Joe smirked as he kissed down your belly, his hot breath against the skin of your abdomen making that warmth pool in your belly already. Tonight was supposed to be about you taking care of Joe, but right now, it seemed like Joe was taking care of you instead. Joe stopped his trail of kisses once he got to the waistband of your lace panties. Your eyes widened in disbelief, your heart pounded with excitement, and your pulse was felt in your most intimate area as you watched Joe hook his finger into the waistband of your panties. But his finger wasn't the only thing trying to take your panties off...

Joe lowered his head so that he was now lined up with your clothed core that was practically dripping just from the sight of him. He kept his blue eyes locked on yours as he bit down on the waistband of your red panties. He slowly started to pull the fabric away from your waist. You lifted your legs slightly, giving Joe just enough room to slide pull your panties down your legs with his mouth. You couldn't believe what you were seeing. Not only could you not believe what you were seeing, but you loved what you were seeing. You've never seen Joe act this way before. Something about the hungry look in his eyes as he stared at your aching, dripping womanhood made you feel another level of turned on you've never quite felt before. Joe ripped your panties out of his mouth and threw them off to the side with the pile of other clothes. He lowered his head back down to your dripping core, his tongue instantly lapping at your glistening folds.

"Oh- fuck..."you whimper out as Joe ate you out like a starved man. Joe chuckled against your folds, the vibration sending what felt like an electric shock through your body as it made you jolt. Joe brought his veiny hands up to your thighs, keeping your legs spread open as he buried his tongue into you. He moaned against your core as the taste of your sweet juices hit his taste buds. You tasted like sweet honey...

"You taste so good, Y/n." Joe praised as he took a hand off of your thigh, placing it onto your womanhood and letting his thumb rub circles against your clit as he continued to lap at your soaked core. The feeling of both Joe's tongue and fingers sent you over the edge, turning you into a whimpering and quivering mess in no time. You bucked your hips slightly as Joe's movements quickened. His jaw clenched with each swipe of his tongue and the muscles in his forearm flexed with each stroke of his thumb. Your chest heaved as Joe licked a stripe up your core.

"Fuck Joey, don't stop..."

You brought your hands down to the back of your boyfriends head, gripping the ends of his hair as you pushed him closer to your center. Joe panted against you, feeling your walls clench around his tongue as you grew close to your first orgasm of the night. You let out a whimper as Joe pressed down on your lower belly with his hand. He knew you were getting close from the way the your chest rose and fell, and how your hips were bucking every time his tongue swirled over your clit.

"That's it baby," Joe praised, "Let me taste you."

You let out a few more whimpers, moaning Joe's name in pleasure as you felt the familiar warmth in your lower belly. Soon enough, your chest was heaving as it all came crashing down and you were overcome with complete pleasure and bliss. Joe lapped up your juices with his tongue, pulling his face away from your soaked core. He licked his lips dry, making sure to get every last drop of you into his mouth. Joe smirked as he watched you come down from your orgasmic high, your heaving chest soon going back to its normal rythmuc rising and falling.

"I don't think I've ever seen you cum that hard." He smirked, a sense of pride in his tone as he spoke. "That was hot."

“All because of you.” You replied, still trying to catch your breath and recover from your climax.

Joe pulled you up into a sitting position before crashing his lips onto yours. You wrapped your arms around his neck, trailing your hands down his back as your nails dug into his skin. You could taste yourself on Joe's lips as the two of you shared a passionate kiss. As his toned body was pressed against yours, you could feel Joe's erection poking at your thigh. It was his turn to be taken care of now. You were going to help him get away from himself for a few minutes...

You pulled away from Joe, smirking up at the blonde quarterback as your hand traveled south, brushing over his erection as you spoke, "Your turn, Joey."

Joe bit his lip in anticipation as he watched you slide out from the bed, moving so that you were now directly in front of him. You gave Joe a sultry look as you slowly got down on your knees in front of him. Despite his calf strain keeping him out for several weeks, making him miss another pre-season yet again, Joe felt like the luckiest guy in the world right now. You reached out and palmed Joe through his boxers, making him wince slightly at the feeling of your hand on his manhood.

"May I?" You asked, gesturing to his undergarments. Joe couldn't form words, so he just nodded. He needed you so bad.

He needed to feel your soft lips around him.

He needed to feel your soft hands around him.

He needed to feel you take him deeper, and deeper.

Joe lifted himself from the bed, helping you remove his boxers from his body. Once the boxers were removed from his waist, Joe's impressive erection sprang free. He sat back down on the bed as you prepared to take him. You gazed hungrily at him just like he did at you moments ago when you were the one being pleasured. You bit down on your bottom lip as you placed your manicured hands on Joe's thick, muscular thighs, spreading them apart as you slowly leaned down. Joe closed his eyes as he waited for the feeling of your lips around him, taking him in deeper with each bob of your head. You brought your lips down around the tip of his dick, pulling them off with a pop as your tongue teased his slit, licking the pre-cum off of the red tip. Between the feeling of your warm breath and your tongue toying with his manhood, Joe threw his head back.

"Fuck," he groaned deeply as you slowly took more of him into your mouth. Your lips were sealed around the head of his cock, sucking and licking tentatively at his skin. Joe bit his tongue, holding back the sounds of pleasure as you suck him off. He let out a strangled sound as you took more of him into your mouth. As you started bobbing your head, Joe couldn’t stop himself from bringing his hands up to your hair and pulling you closer to him.

"Fuck, Y/n-," Joe moaned out as you spit on his dick, jerking him off with your lips still around him. Joe hasn't felt this good in weeks. The stress of training camp, dealing with a calf injury, and trying to be ready to go by week one has put a toll on Joe's mind and body. But right now, he wasn't thinking about any of that stuff. All he was thinking about was you and how you make him feel. You make him feel perfect. You always have and you always will.

You bobbed your head rhythmically, making Joe moan in pleasure. "You're doing so good sweetheart," he praised as he noticed the tears in your eyes from his size, "So good."

You could tell Joe was growing closer to his release because every time you bobbed your head you could feel his cock twitch in your mouth. Joe's chest heaved up in down as his face contorted into a look of pleasure. He let out a few grunts as he came undone in your mouth. You brought him into a pure state of bliss, something he hasn't felt in a while. You pulled your mouth off of him and swallowed, giving him a couple minutes to come down and recover from his high.

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails begins playing…

You stood up from being on your knees, standing in between Joe's legs as you leaned down and crashed your lips onto his. Your mouths moved in perfect sync as you let him taste himself on your lips just like he had done for you. Joe bit down on your bottom lip, making you wince slightly as he drew blood. Joe licked the blood off of your lip before attaching his lips to yours once again. The metallic taste of your blood filling both yours and Joe's mouths as the drops of crimson hit your taste buds. Joe continued to kiss you hungrily, his movements urgent as he gripped your waist with the pads of his fingers. He pushed you down onto the bed, bringing you underneath him as he hovered over you. Joe inched closer to your ear, his hot breath on your neck sending shivers up your spine.

"I'm gonna fuck you till you're screaming my name and shaking so hard you won't be able to walk."

His husky voice and the words he uttered down at you made you bite your lip in anticipation. Joe gently bit down on your earlobe, slightly tugging on it as he brought his head away from your neck. Joe hovered over you with his left arm on the mattress as his right arm played with you. He harshly kneaded your left breast as his thumb and index finger pinched your sensitive, hard nipple. He did the same thing to your right breast as he began to suck relentlessly as your neck, making you moan in pleasure as he marked his territory. Joe wanted everyone to know that your were his, and only his. Joe licked a stripe up your neck, his hot breath hitting your sensitive skin as he whispered huskily into your ear.

"Here we go."

Joe slid his cock into your slick entrance, burying himself deep inside of you. The feeling of his impressive length made your thighs clench and your eyes squeeze shut as you let out a moan. Joe snapped his hips forward, making your hips buck up, matching his rough thrusts. You wrap your legs around Joe, allowing him to thrust harder, faster, deeper.

"God," he groans out as your walls clench around his cock, "You feel so good." His grunts mixed with the sounds of your moans and skin hitting skin.

Joe could feel himself getting away from himself and his thoughts of the game tonight as he fucked you senseless. Each thrust of his hips and groan that escaped his lips had you feeling pleasure in all the right places. Joe buried his face in your neck as you scratched harshly at his back. Joe left sloppy kisses on your neck as he pulled his hips forwards, roughly thrusting into you. In and out. In and out. In and out. Each thrust grew deeper, the tip of Joe's cock hitting your cervix repeatedly made your body jolt with pleasure. You screamed his name as Joe grunted under his breath.

"Fuck," he praised, "You feel so good, so tight."

Joe continued to fuck you senseless, making you feel as if your whole existence was flawed as you laid underneath him. You immediately grew submissive from his touch, seeming to lose every ounce of dominance in your body. The sounds of yours and Joe's moans filled the bedroom, as all you could smell was sweat and sex. After you let out a particularly loud moan, Joe brought his hand up to your neck, wrapping his fingers around it and squeezing you gently. You gasped at the feeling of your lovers hand around your neck as he ruthlessly thrusted himself into you, pushing deeper and deeper.

"Joe," you moaned out as you placed your hand over his that was around your neck, "don't stop."

Joe shook his head and removed his hand from your neck as a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead, falling onto his lip. He leaned down and crashed his lips onto yours. You could taste the saltiness of his sweat as his tongue swirled around your own. Your bodies continued to move in a perfect rhythm as you and Joe became panting and moaning messes underneath each others touch. You felt a familiar warmth pool in your lower belly. You were so close.

"I'm so close Joe." You practically whined as Joe picked up the pace of his rough thrusts. Soon enough, your walls were clenching around Joe's cock. The clenching of your slick walls around him made Joe grunt. He could feel every inch of you from the inside, and it felt amazing.

"Fuck," Joe growled, his deep voice making your body jolt in pleasure once again. The sound of him, the feeling of him, and the smell of him made you grow even closer to your orgasm.

Joe could feel your walls clench once again, this time with more force. He knew you were close.

"That's it baby," Joe pleaded, his chest heaving as he panted, "cum for me. I wanna feel you." He continued to pound into you, making sure you felt every single inch of him. The feeling of his large cock filling you up made your legs shake as you moaned in pleasure. You came down harshly on Joe's cock, your hands coming up to his head and tugging at his dark blonde locks as he had you seeing stars. You whimpered out his name as your chest heaved up and down. You were completely blissed out as Joe continued to pump into you. He reached his climax shortly after you, groaning, and gripping onto your thighs as spurts of his hot cum filled your insides.

Joe fucked you so hard that both of you were completely blissed out, not thinking straight and feeling yourselves being brought closer to god. Joe pressed his forehead against yours as you both came down from your highs, chests heaving and bodies sticky with sweat.

“I love you so much.” He breathed out, his hot breath hitting your face as he spoke. “I love you too Joey.” You said, your breathing matching his. Joe pulled out of you and plopped down on the bed next to you, pulling you into his side. You immediately laid your head on his right pec, wrapping your arms around his sticky torso as you laid on him.

“That was amazing.” You said, “I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything except just lay here.” Joe smirked down at you as he gently stroked your bare arm with his fingertips. “Well,” he breathed out, “I think I should wear that backwards hat more often.”

You craned your neck up to look at your boyfriend, chuckling softly at his sly remark.

“I think you should too.” You replied honestly.

You definitely think Joe should wear that backwards cap and all black combo a lot more often. Seeing him in that outfit made you act and feel like somebody else…and you absolutely loved it.

hi loves!!

uhh so this was something different than what i usually write LOL. but i was listening to music and this song came on and i was hit with an idea…so i just had to write something😂

i apologize if this was super cringy or not what you were hoping for/expecting! im kind of shocked i was able to write something like this

i’d appreciate some feedback, but if you don’t want to say anything i completely get it ;)

i’ll be updating daddy issue’s tomorrow, and it’s the complete OPPOSITE of whatever this was lol.

thank you for all of you kind words and support with my writing. you are the best! i love talking with all of you and getting to share my work with you. THANK YOU ALL🤍🤍

tags: @hoodharlow @wickedfun9 @bernelflo @ilovejoeburroww @klips118 @killatravtramp @katelyn102 @theflawedwriter @kristencochefski1125 @schumacherburrow @samanthamark5 @joeys-babe @sinners-98-world @burrowstyles5 @m-1234 @marz22224 @emaanemaa

[wonjns]

caught you. – s.jy

pairing. sim jaeyun x male reader

genre. smut

summary. jake would’ve never believed it if someone told him his cute, innocent boyfriend was actually a horny mess who just needed to be fucked - that is, he wouldn’t believe it until he saw it himself.

includes. bottom!malereader, virgin!reader, corruption kink, blowjob (reader rec.), degradation

WC. 2.1k

°A/N. . . requested by anon ✓ “Hey~ So I was thinking to request a Enhypen Jake smut where y/n was a virgin but Jake found him humping his pillow after he came home stressed . And maybe if u can add some dirty talking, humiliating👀” || so happy to finally be posting this bc the male reader content has been so dry lately 😵‍💫 NOT PROOFREAD!

you had found yourself in quite the predicament this evening, regretting all of your decisions after telling your boyfriend you didn't need to accompany him to his recent music video shooting.

despite how excited jake was to share the world of entertainment with you and let you know you were free to join him on his schedules, you often felt like a burden. so, today you reassured your ray of sunshine that you would be fine at home, giving yourself a day to just lounge around and catch up on your favorite series.

but god was it boring, and damn were you horny.

your relationship with jake had been pretty innocent thus far, both of you radiating wholesome energy and hardly going further than innocent kisses and cuddling. but as time went on, you found it increasingly harder to control yourself around him.

maybe it was the styling or the overall confidence of this new era, but something about jake just had you constantly engaging in an inner war to not pounce across the table every time your boyfriend licked sauce from his lips at dinner or groaned after tasting good food.

yet, you were just too nervous to bring up your desires to jake. you were a virgin, and jake knew that, so he never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured into taking things a step further. in his mind, you would come to him when you were ready.

you, on the other hand, were petrified at the idea that your inexperience would humiliate you.

you knew it was irrational, but you thought your lack of knowledge would actually run your boyfriend off to find someone who could satisfy him. countless times you've caught his massive bulge printing through his sweats, and regardless of your desire to just take him whole and swallow him for everything that he's got, you had no idea how.

thus, causing all of your filthy wants and thoughts to be restrained in your mind in the deep hours of the night, your hand shoved down your boxers.

today was no different; your alleged relaxing day at home went to shit as soon as your phone dinged with photo jake sent to you on set. you couldn't believe all it took was one selfie of his smirk being covered by a lip bite to cling to one of his pillows (doused in the scent of his cologne and shampoo).

you changed into one of jake's oversized hoodies and stripped yourself of your shorts off until you were left in your boxers, throwing your leg over the pillow as you admired the selfie. however, before you knew it you had succumbed to even watching his fancams.

it was so pitiful, but the relief your clothed erection felt from the pressure of jake's firm pillow sent your mind reeling. the rocking of your hips only sped up the more you watched him roll his eyes or grab his crotch during concert clips -- and your mind wandered to how he was probably doing those exact things for the camera right now.

after losing track of time, you were growing impatient at how unsatisfying the pillow was becoming compared to how your boyfriend's strong hands would feel. your mild whimpers were quickly turning to muffled sounds of frustration, discarding your phone to ground your hips into the pillow harder. you squeezed your eyes shut in chase of at least some relief.

but it seems you had gotten too caught up in trying to find your climax, because you were frozen in your tracks after hearing a throat being cleared at the door.

a sudden wave of embarrassment washed over you as you turned your head to see none other than jake at the door, eyebrows raised in shock.

"b-babe," you muttered, scrambling off of his pillow as your cheeks burned red. "you-... you....."

you couldn't even begin to form a sentence or excuse, skin feeling on fire from the way he was looking at you. jake couldn't believe his eyes, the image of his sweet and innocent boyfriend grinding on his pillow like a bitch in heat.

"y/n..." he uttered just above a whisper, "what exactly is going on here?"

he was in shock, but he had been turned on in seconds. you think your eyes are playing tricks on you the way you see a slight smirk growing on his face.

"i just.... i.... how long have you been here?" you fumble, sitting up and sliding your phone under the blankets.

jake ignores your question, cocking his head to the side as he approaches the bed. you feel too humiliated to move as he kneels, his head at the same level as the pillow you had trapped between your thighs.

"keep going."

you furrowed your brows in disbelief at what you heard.

"wha-"

"i said keep going." jake cut in, eyes now dark and hooded as he stares lasers into your skin. "if you missed me so much to start humping my shit, i wanna watch it happen."

you had never once heard jake's voice in this tone, and you were too intimidated to respond. his whole aura took on a dominance unfamiliar to you, but you'd be lying if you said it didn't make your boner return in full force.

slowly moving, you took his pillow between your legs once more and curled deeper into his hoodie, unable to make eye contact as you started rutting your hips.

"look at me while you do." jake ordered, not a single waiver in his voice as he spoke.

your eyes widened in worry, silently refusing to look up.

"y/n, be a good boy and look at me."

the pet name caused your dick to twitch, and a soft moan escaped your lips when you remade contact with the idol's dark, lust filled orbs.

you could feel the heat of the room intensifying as you sped up your hips, jake looking down to your pelvis and taking in the show. you whimpered when he sensually licked his bottom lip with the same tongue you'd been fantasizing over for weeks. you felt so shameful, but were getting turned on rapidly as the seconds went by.

"j-jake, please." you whispered, causing his eyes to shoot back up to you.

"what is it, babe?" he responded, a devilishly teasing tone to his words. "what do you want?"

"touch me... please touch me."

your weak plea made his bulge solidify tighter in his pants, making him bite his lip just as he did in the photo while his eyes sized you up and down.

he was trying his best to hide how aroused he was, because he really wanted to watch you cum like this first, but the glint in your begging eyes caused him to lose all motive. your little bulge was just so cute to him, he wanted to be the reason you reached your high first.

"oh, baby..." he groaned, his hands lunging at you to grab the back of your neck.

jake surged forwards, connecting his ridiculously soft gummy lips with yours. he swallowed you whole in an opened mouth kiss, not even waiting a second to slip his thick tongue into your mouth and taste your desperacy.

you moaned loudly, hips stilling as the satisfying feeling of jake studying the grooves of your cavern overtook you. your hands gripped for his hair, pulling him even closer to kiss him back with a sloppy passion.

he pulled away for just a moment to look into your hooded eyes, nipping at your bottom lip just to hear you whine again. he caught you in another heated kiss while simultaneously shoving the pillow out of the way so he could mount the bed.

minutes later you were pressed deeper into the mattress by the older male without breaking the kiss once, your hands gripping any and everything they could feel. jake reached down to feel your hardened cock through your boxer, causing you to break the kiss in a groan.

"how bad do you want me to make you come, baby?" he teased, dipping down to nibble along your collarbone.

you wanted it so bad you couldn't even put it into words, babbling nonsense at him and throwing your head back as his large palm stroked you over your clothes.

"use your words, y/n. you were needy enough to try to fuck a pillow but now that i'm here you cant even speak." jake taunted, a deep blush returning to your cheeks.

you were so embarrassed by the whole scenario, but the way jake was treating you had your mind hazed in desire. the way your body shook in pleasure from his hands alone did all the talking for you, but he needed to hear it from you.

"s-s'badly, jake. please, i need you."

"oh, you need me?" jake taunted, slowly slipping your boxers off. "if only you had told me earlier, prince, i could have been given you what you needed. but you just had to be a needy little whore all by your lonesome."

he licked his lips hungrily once more seeing your erected cock practically begging for more attention. he pushed the hoodie you wore higher up your chest, trailing wet kisses down your stomach until he finally reached your core, flattening his tongue on your pulsing shaft.

you groaned noisily before biting your lip, tangling your hands in jake's curls and pulling. it was his turn to send a moaning vibration through you, your legs threatening to close around his head.

it seemed jake could sense it, because his strong grip went from his hips to your bare thighs, holding them apart and he licked up and down your sensitive cock.

"fuck, so good, jake" you breathed out, legs trembling at the sensation of his warm tongue teasing your length.

your boyfriend offered a hum in response before enclosing those plump lips around your member, sucking experimentally. you would've screamed if the feeling didn't completely throw you in a blissful haze right off the bat, your mouth flying open in a silent moan.

it was obvious that jake could tell how much you liked it, him sucking harder before wrapping his tongue around your cock as he continued. this only went on for no more than a minute before you were announcing you were about to come - which turned out to be a mistake as the idol ceased all his actions, releasing your length from those heaven sent lips.

this made you squirm desperately, tears prickling at your eyes.

"n-no! why'd you stop?" you whined to your boyfriend, who only smirked in response before kissing your tip.

"i'm just so disappointed you didn't tell me how bad you wanted this, babe." jake responded with a mocking tone, leaving butterfly kisses around the area you needed him most. "maybe i'm just not good enough for you..."

an army of no's fled from your lips, shaking your head as you gripped onto jakes broad shoulders.

"jake, please, you're the only one who can make me feel this way. please keep going. i promise i'll be good for you." you babbled, bucking your hips up towards his face.

this made jake chuckle darkly.

"well, if you promise."

and with that, he returned to his ministrations on your cock, sucking powerfully and bobbing his head along your length while holding your waist down. he brought a hand up to fondle your balls while drool started sliding down your member and onto the mattress, sending you into cloud nine.

it wasn't until he moaned deeply around your cock after getting a taste of your precum that you finally reached your climax, releasing your love liquids into his mouth while your whole body went limp.

the feeling was like nothing you had ever imagined, jake's eager tongue cleaning up the mess from your skin feeling much better than the tissues you'd sneak into your room.

you thanked the shaggy haired male as your eyes started fluttering closed, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles into your thighs nearly lulling you to sleep.

however a firm smack to one of your thighs jolted you back awake, looking down at jake in confusion.

"ah ah, baby. i think it's your turn to take care of me now, don't you think?" he piped up.

you followed his line of sight trailing south to the raging boner still standing tall in his pants, causing your mouth to water.

"theres a lot i have to teach you, baby boy."

now was finally your time, and you couldn't have been any happier that today of all days was when jake sim finally caught you.

© 𝐟𝐥𝐰𝐫𝐛𝐨𝐢 — all rights reserved

[pupyuj]

[cw: smut, thigh riding, fingering, edging]

I SAW YUJIN CLIPS FROM THE LATEST IVE ON AND I JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS‼️‼️ look at her... LOOK AT HERRRR 😩😩😩😩😩 (but not too much, she's my bf 😤)

college au where yujin is a cool and super smart biochem major that kinda gets too focused on her studies that she doesn't really notice you sometimes, which only makes you feel super needy bcs you really miss ur clingy gf but her having tons of workload changed everything in your relationship 💔 but it's not too much of a bad thing! yujin still finds comfort in knowing that you're around her while she's doing work, she can just grab you and hug you if she's feeling like she's sinking way too low into exhaustion — you're her little energizer!! 🥺 but sometimes a hug ain't enough for you :((

one day you're just walking around her room, looking at the polaroids on the wall, the picture frames on her table, the books on her bookshelves... eventually getting bored and just sitting beside yujin on the bed who, as usual, had her eyes clued to her laptop typing away what seems to be her sixth paper of the day??? "baby, aren't you tired?" you were pouting, and a frown only grew on your face when yujin shook her head, but you can see the tired look in her eyes and the way she has slouched over :(( "liar." you muttered before crawling around and settling yourself behind your girlfriend. she was about to complain until you put your hands on her shoulders and started massaging her gently,,

"you're the best, i swear." yujin sighs in bliss, finally releasing the tension on her back,, you hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek, earning a pat on the arm and a sweet smile before she focused on her screen again,,, seriously, she cannot take a hint 😭 you ended up giving her tons of kisses!! from her cheeks, to her temples, to her hair, to her nape, and then to her neck.. where she of course stopped ignoring you anymore after you've snuck your cold hands underneath her sweater, feeling her stomach... "(y/n)... okay, get on here." she finally says!!

making out with yuj on her lapppp 😵‍💫 her closing her laptop from behind you before putting her hands all over you :(( good thing you wore short and thin shorts today bcs you wouldn't feel yujin sneaking her thigh in between your legs and pulling you down so you could press your core against her :((( bucking your hips slowly while she kissed your neck, whispering things to you to get you even more wet,, "you've been a bit lonely, haven't you, babe? don't worry. tonight's gonna be all about you," and "i really did miss you too... i'll show you just how much, 'kay?" omgomg her looking up at you with a big smile, she looked so cute with those big glasses perched on her nose you couldn't help but kiss her again :((((

yujinnie fucking you while you're wearing only her shirt 😩 clutching onto her sweater while she spreads your cunt with her fingers,, she can't stop kissing you too!! she has already left so many marks on you and she only continues to leave more,, she has to let people know you're her baby!! 😤

whining when she pulls her fingers out of you just when you're about to come :(( "i want you to come on my thigh, baby. ride." she tells you while licking your wetness off her fingers,, it was the most attractive thing you've seen 😵‍💫 sihsdkjf yujin grabbing your hips and pressing her thigh against your wet pussy, starting you off in a moderate pace and only letting you go after you were riding her yourself,,, so fast and so desperate to come,,, moaning her name over and over the closer you get to your climax,,, but she rips it away again when she forces you off her thigh :((

"y-yujin-ah, please... i need you, let me come..." you knew yujin had a thing for you begging but you hated the edging part, especially during this time!!!

"right now? but we have the whole night..." yujin wasn't a monster, of course. she'll let you come early, she just thinks you look so cute when you're needy like this 😣😣 it was specially entertaining for her when you didn't even try to beg anymore and just grabbed her hand and put it close to your pussy, looking at her with a pleading look and a pout :((( how could she ever say no to her pretty baby??

yujin sliding her fingers back inside you,, thrusting into you at an insane pace but you're also riding her :(( tears rolling down your cheeks while you hugged her, rocking your hips like crazy on her hand,,, no doubt her dorm mate can hear you from the next room but neither of you really cared,, yujin does three things that made you lose your head: she plunged her fingers inside you as deep as she could, pressed her thumb against your clit, and bite your neck,,, you screamed her name as you came,, making a mess on her hand and her legs 😵‍💫😵‍💫

your cunt still on her bare thigh while you're coming down from your high shsdcdnkhs yujinnie slowly moving her leg so she could still stimulate you,,, laughing at your soft whines and patting your ass,, she would let you rest now but as soon as you've recovered.. 🫣

[calzone-d]

Kinktober Day 1- Mirror Sex (Jason Sudeikis x Fem!Reader)

aaaand here's day one! enjoy! also ps it's actually me in this clip talking to jason. he found me and we got married last weekend. go ahead and call me cal sudeikis.

pairing: Jason Sudeikis x Fem!Reader

word count: 1410

warnings: unprotected sex (bc sometimes it's hard to write the condom in, guys), mirror sex obviously, fingering, bad words

a/n: pumped this out for you guys before bed. obviously it is mirror sex and obviously it is rpf so if that bothers you just scroll. if it bothers you then you may unfortunately be on the wrong blog.

find my masterlist here!

------

 Jason’s lips are hot and wet as they travel between your shoulder and neck. Every few kisses he nips at your skin, making your breath hitch. His hand slides over your figure clad in lingerie that you haven’t even worn for twenty minutes yet. You were admiring your figure in the mirror and Jason busted in on you before you could make your way to him. 

  You’re in between his thighs, facing the new mirror propped against the wall. Jason’s cock is as hard as a rock beneath you, and the more he teases you, the more you need it. His ankles are hooked around yours, prying your legs open.

 “Look at you, honey.. Since when did you get so desperate?”, he teased. His words were followed by the warmth of his hand grazing the inside of your thigh. The other hand was splayed across your abdomen to keep you close.

“Shut u- ohh”, you let out a squeak as the pad of his pointer finger taps against your clit over the thin fabric. The action has you bucking your hips, searching for any friction to calm your hasty mind.

“Yeah? Tell me ‘bout it, sweet girl..”, Jason’s mouth was pressed to the shell of your ear. The words he spoke were low and you could feel him smirk against you as he stroked the backs of his fingers over the fabric covering your soaked pussy.

“It’s…”, with every stroke he added a bit more pressure. “Need more, Jase..”. He’d teased you so much that your mind was focused on one thing- sitting on his thick cock. The week was busy for you both, and instead of getting right to the point Jason seemed to have a different plan. 

His left hand left its spot on your abdomen to cup the back of your head. Until now, your head had been thrown back on his shoulder, eyes closed and head spinning. He grabbed a handful of your hair and pushed your head foward. Your eyes met his in the mirror and it only fueled the fire burning inside you. Those strong arms wrapped around you, thighs flexing as he used them to hold your legs open… you were so far gone you barely registered his command. 

“Keep your eyes on the mirror.. You stop, I stop.”

At this point you would’ve sold your soul for him to fill you. Your pussy was soaked and the fabric of your lingerie had taken the brunt of it. Jason stared into your eyes, expecting an answer. 

“Oh.. okay. M’kay, just please-” you grunted and bucked your hips to chase his fingers again. 

He lovingly shook his head and slid his fingertips under the damp fabric. 

“So wet, honey.. So sticky..” you felt his cock throb against your ass as he spoke. His fingertips gathered your arousal and continued stroking over your clit. He knew this was one of the worst ways to tease you. The minimal friction was enough to turn you on, but not enough to satisfy you.

Two of his slick fingertips pressed gently into you and finally provided you with some relief. Your eyebrows were furrowed and your teeth dug into your bottom lip as he worked them into you. The pleasure was almost too much, almost enough to make you close your eyes again but you knew he would stop if you did. The fabric seemed to irritate him with how constricting it was so he was quick to pull it apart at the buttons over your crotch and expose your pussy to the cool air. Before you could react, his two fingers sunk back into you and prodded around to find the spot he knew would make you fall apart.

The tips of his long fingers rocked against the spongy spot inside you, and he knew he was there. He knew you so well by now. The way your moans raised an octave, the way your jaw dropped, the way you began to meet his thrusts.. “Oh- right there, huh? There you go, baby…” 

“Jase.. Oh..I-”

“I know, hun. You’re okay.. Feels good don’t it?” He pulled you closer into him and began kissing at your ear. The image of the two of you in the mirror only added to the pleasure you felt. You hadn’t really watched yourself have sex before, but the image of him wrapped around you with his fingers working in and out of your dripping hole was another level of intimate. Sexy, too. 

Jason’s fingers slipped out of you and he shimmied backwards so he could slip his boxers off. His cock was an angry red, dripping and begging to be inside you. 

“Wanna watch, Jase..please?”, your words brought a dirty smirk to his face. 

“That’s the plan, hun.. C’mere” he pulled you on top of his strong thighs and you barely had time to register his tip prodding your folds before he was lowering you down onto him. It felt so good to finally be full of him. His cock was so thick, so warm, and you began to pant as you situated yourself in an attempt to get all of him inside you. 

Your eyes were glued to the sight beneath you, and you hadn’t even bothered looking in the mirror yet. A quick slap to your swollen clit grabbed your attention, though.

“Look, baby..”, Jason murmured while his hips slowly worked his cock into you. “Takin’ me so good.. S’meant for you, isnt it?”

You felt like you were in a daze as you took in the sight. The way your head was nodding at his words barely even registered in your brain. His blunt nails were digging into your thighs and he didn’t let up when you began grinding and bouncing on top of him. Your wetness began to gather at the base of his cock. A few drops fell onto the bed beneath you and the sounds it made as his cock plunged into you were filthy. It felt like you were being attacked from all of the sensations. You felt his hands on you as they roamed your skin and tugged at your nipples. His grunts and murmured praise went right to your pussy and you clenched around him at every sound he made. The bedroom smelled like sex, and you felt a sense of pride knowing that the love and desire you two shared did that. 

“Fuck- that’s it, honey.. Want to watch you- hmm- cum on my cock.. I know you’re almost there, sweet girl…” and it was true. The way you breath hitched and your pussy spasmed was nothing new to him. Jason knew your body inside and out, and he knew you were about to have a fucking intense orgasm. The pads of his fingers pressed firmly against your clit and began to rub tiny circles against it. It only took you showing him how you take care of yourself one time for him to learn how you liked it- how you needed it.

Your words began to bleed into moans and grunts as you climbed the hill of pleasure. You knew it would be a fast descent. 

“Oh, Jase.. I-... It’s so… fuck!”, it was no use. He kept his rhythm as you continued to babble and you could barely make out his strangled grunts through your moans. 

Your pussy milked his cock as you tipped over the edge of your orgasm. It was intense- toes curling, eyes closing, mind numbing… all of the best things about an orgasm taken to the max. 

Jason pulled you down more forcefully as he thrusted a few more times before burying himself deep in you. The throbbing of his cock was palpable and you whimpered at the sight of his balls tensing and releasing with each spurt of cum that painted your walls. Within seconds, it had began to leak out of you. 

Jason shuddered when he pulled his spent cock out of you, and wasted no time pulling you back so that he could cradle you in his arms. One of your hands grabbed at his forearm while the other took hold of his bicep, keeping him close. Your breath came out in short pants as you came down from the high of your orgasm. Jason planted kisses all over your face and hair while his own chest heaved. 

“That was… it was fucking good, babe.” you murmured with a dopey smile.

“Was all you, hun. All you..” he breathed. 

thanks for reading!

[sweetbans29]

Reader is a few years older than Caitlin, was the #1 pick in her draft after leading her team to a national championship. Was super hyped up going in but struggled a lot with transitioning to the W and then dealt with some injuries before finally finding her stride in the later half of the season but at that point most “fans” had written her off as a dud. Continues to be an underrated player until her breakout season and she finally starts getting the recognition she’s been missing for the last x years. When Caitlin gets drafted and struggles/doesn’t meet peoples expectations her first few games there are some fans that can see the parallel and are like “I hype she doesn’t get the y/n treatment, neither one of them deserve(d) that” Reader gets asked her thoughts on the discourse in a post game “I just saw the tweets actually and I was wanting to reach out bc I’ve been following her game for a few years now so I’m glad you asked but yeah I don’t really think that’s a fair assessment to her game…” then goes on to praise her and talk about how there are just things about her game that you just can’t teach and how she 100% believes that when she hits her stride she’s gonna be hard to beat. Then implores fans to not count her out just yet bc the W is a whole new ballgame that ccs got to learn and adjust to but she has no doubts that she will and that she will become a force of nature once she does, they just need to give her time to get there.

Then after the post presser she sends a real heartfelt message over dms reiterating what she said and letting her know if she ever needs someone to talk to who knows exactly the type of pressure she is under then to not hesitate to reach out. Then gives her her personal number bc she maybe has been harboring a teensy crush on the younger girl and hopes she’ll be more likely to get to know her that way.

Then while Caitlin is trying to process that THE y/n l/n just gave her her number half of her old Iowa teammates send her the clip of reader praising Cait for 5 minutes straight bc she has been very vocal about being madly in love with the woman during every possible opportunity. She ends up doing a group FaceTime with Kate, Gabbie, and Jada to help her draft a thank you message over text.

Then next presser cc gets asked about it and she blushes saying 15 people sent her clips bc they knew she is obsessed. When she’s done she sees a text saying “so you’re obsessed with me?” And thus the flirtation begins with ccs response being “I could ask you the same since you’re lurking on the live”

Fans eat up all their interactions and interviews when they talk about eachother and are obsessed with asking if they’re dating or not and trying to prove it one way or another. Little do they know they already started dating bc they hit it off instantly when they met, and r is just the person cc needs in her life bc she 100% understands what she’s going through

I LOVE THIS - Keep an eye on a 'Coming Soon' 🤍

[krashlite]

The brainrot took over and I spent all morning rambling/psychoanalyzing BigB and Grian cause they make me crazy

So it’s been established that Grian + Scar and Ren + BigB are soulmates. No matter what they will find each other- even outside of DL. Fate chose them and continues to choose them

Grian + BigB on the other hand are not soulmates, they just chose each other. It’s rare that they cross paths but typically they’ll stay nearby whenever they do.

3L had blue sword boys (BSB) which was the two of them and Martyn, though Martyn was the only one out of the three that called on the alliance. The desert’s first plan happened at BigB’s castle- an action that steered Scar away from BigB and towards Dogwarts even though aiming for BigB probably would’ve gotten them more immediate results- something I know damn well Grian shoots for. I like to think this was because B was Grian’s backup plan if Scar did die. “Your job isn’t to steal cookies, it’s to do murder” if that was the sole reason for changing targets then why not just attack BigB instead of stealing his cookie?

They didn’t cross paths on the battlefield iirc, even when the desert stormed Dogwarts for the final time. BigB was absent when the desert went sky high and was largely uninvolved in most of the war. Though he sided with DW he didn’t fully stand against the desert, he didn’t stand against Grian. And when the desert stormed DW, BigB was mostly on the outskirts of that fight, which I think was because he’s scared of combat. EDIT correcting myself here but BigB was in fact shot by Grian, even if unintentionally

The next time they see each other is when Scar comes along to sic Bdubs on BigB. The whole time Grian is begging BigB to “do something!!” And saying he can’t watch. EDIT 2 I watched the clip back and Grian specifically told him “don’t go out without a fight.” DON’T GO OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT.

Even after BigB panics and attacks him, Grian is still distraught over the fact that he’s gone. He even justifies BigB attacking him as it being revenge for the arrow

I’m also fascinated by B’s decision to attack Grian instead of the other two reds. Grian was the only yellow name left, which was probably the reason why B went for him over Scar or Bdubs. It could be a fun idea for BigB to see that he was never truly on the desert’s side and attack Grian as a response to that. Yes Grian was pleading for him to do something, but he made no actual attempt to save him. Grian was going to let them kill BigB, and B knew this

Anyways

-

LL they didn’t really interact much- which does come into play during DL

-

In DL Grian and BigB found each other day 1, but alas, not soulmates. But there’s a couple things established in their first interaction. Grian suddenly dropped like 6 hearts bc of Scar and started panicking asking for food. This established pretty much immediately that Grian’s soulmate wasn’t going to save him and BigB was.

BigB, on the other hand, though Grian’s disappointment, reads that Grian would have truly valued his company- not to mention how he knows that G would’ve taken the lead on things B feels he’s weakest at, considering they have past experience

Enter Ren! Ren is someone who truly does value and care about BigB but he is very bad at actually expressing this. He tries spinning negatives into positives instead of working through them- which isn’t a flaw necessarily but it is something that clashes with BigB

I would like to specifically point out that instead of listening to BigB when he said he doesn’t know how to build and teaching him some basics- Ren instead leans into the fact that BigB is bad at building. He decides they should make the ugliest base as a sort of inside joke but I can’t help but feel like BigB was a little hurt by that. He laughs along, but damn.. Ren intended this as some harmless fun but fails to recognize that it’s not what BigB wanted, nor what he needed. BigB does learn to love the base for all its goofiness because he loves Ren, and wants to be there for him

Box pretty quickly becomes about what Ren wants- not through malicious intent but because they have different personalities. Ren is very loud and outgoing while BigB is more reserved.

Ren is someone who tends to jump into things headfirst while BigB tends to follow. Ren also has a habit of not listening to people- something he did in past seasons as well. DW almost crumbled because he failed to listen to Martyn, he got tunnel vision in LL while building the shadow fort and failed to save Cleo- not even realizing she’d died when the betrayal happened on his front doorstep

BigB, on the other hand, needs to be listened to. Again, he’s a lot more reserved than other people but truly shines when he has a spotlight on him. LL was wonderful for this since, after his betrayal, the main plot thread of the fairy fort centered on him- on how his mistakes led to their demise and how it was up to him to fix the situation he caused. BigB stayed closer to his team than ever before, making sure that they knew he was trustworthy. However, B also ran away from the true issue, which was that he had betrayed Cleo. BigB was too scared to try to make amends with them after Cleo burned the fort to the ground, fearing for both his safety and the safety of his team.

Back to DL! BigB overcompensated for past mistakes by fully mirroring whatever Ren did, all the way down to getting a matching pair of sunglasses and dog ears. He didn’t agree with Ren’s decision to ban Pearl from Box, but stood by the decision since Ren had made it. Largely, BigB didn’t feel heard in the relationship- something that’s later discussed in couple’s counseling

Putting a pin in that!

On Grian’s side of things he is in! An entire mess. Not only is he paired with a past fling, but Scar is almost constantly causing problems for him. He’s taking large chunks of damage, getting himself into stressful situations for Grian, and Grian has to drag him everywhere in order to get them to get along. Scar wasn’t even going to base with him, he was perfectly content in them living in separate bases when Grian needed to stay with his soulmate. It comes down to safety for Grian- he doesn’t think he can rely on Scar to keep the both of them out of harm’s way. In fact, Grian has to hurt himself to be with Scar, even in their first interaction with the stalactite!!!!

Grian feels less like Scar’s partner and more like Scar’s mother, having to constantly watch after him and make sure he’s out of trouble. I think Grian even remarks that being with Scar is like watching over a toddler.

Scar’s behaving like this both to try and get Grian to be less uptight about every little thing and also as a means of getting back at him for said little things. Grian didn’t want the pandas in the house? Fine, he’ll hop in some powdered snow. Grian’s upset by him taking damage? Fine, he just won’t eat for a bit. Scar knows it’s not as serious as Grian’s making it out to be but does nothing to reassure Grian.

All this does is push Grian away, so it’s absolutely no surprise that Grian runs off. He tried! So hard! To fix the relationship and doesn’t see Scar putting in the same amount of effort. Again, Grian is his partner, not his caretaker. He shouldn’t be expected to constantly clean up after Scar

No G wasn’t perfect but goddamn

BigB on the other hand, has already been established as a Safe person. Both this season and in past seasons. Remember, Grian was completely absent from the fairy fort plotline, never actually crossing paths with the consequences of the betrayal. This affects both of them. Not only does Grian perceive him as safe, but BigB knows he has nothing to prove to Grian. He is loved regardless, while with Ren he feels the need to prove himself CONSTANTLY with little acknowledgement.

They both felt undervalued with their soulmate but were valued with one another. However, neither one of them wanted to actually leave their soulmate, which is where things get tricky. They were fully in the wrong for cheating on their soulmates, even if they did have a reason for doing so

But anyways

BigB got caught between Grian and Ren, the more he leaned to one side the more he lost the other. This is the same issue he had in 3L- coincidentally landing between the same people.

Both of them kept the other a secret to protect their peace more than their soulmate. Grian even goes as far as to gaslight Scar when Scar clearly knows he’s being cheated on. BigB also lies about Grian’s involvement in his and Ren’s 2nd death, leading Ren to focus solely on Bdubs.

Ren does this to find a target to defend BigB from rather than actually addressing the root of their problems- Ren’s inability to listen. He thinks that if he just Shows BigB how good of a soulmate he is, he can keep BigB at his side when that’s not what BigB needs. So now Box is caught in a cycle of trying to prove themselves to the other

Scar, on the other hand, doubles down on his behavior instead of making any changes. The only thing he does change is how much he listens to Grian. He basically becomes Grian’s lackey, which was meant to address the fact that Grian feels like he has no control over his circumstances. However, he fails to recognize that the reason G thinks he lost control is because Scar himself is a rogue element.

So both sides continue to get worse in trying to course correct- which causes both of them to get into increasingly dangerous situations

-

Also side bar, in writing this I realized if you swapped Grian for Ren they would be perfectly functional on both sides- since Ren’s course correction matches what Scar needs and Scar’s course correction matches what Ren needs. Ren needs support while being a protector and Scar needs someone to stand by him. Grian needs someone who’s safe and BigB needs someone to guide him

It’s a really funny coincidence but anyways

-

Ultimately it was Grian’s impulsiveness that did them in- all four of them. He set the trap at Box trying something ambitious, and he went to get a warden for a last hoorah. I like to think he was emboldened by the fact that the soulmate feature had less emphasis to him in those final episodes. He was thinking about BigB and not Ren and considered Scar entirely separate from him. It also doesn’t help that two of the three soulmate couples that stayed together- were either dead(ranchers), or distant from him(clockduo). Boat boys fed into his chaotic nature through being silly goofy guys

Even after Grian ended his season, BigB still forgives him. He still cares!!

I’m not normal about this season whatsoever

-

In LimL they really don’t properly interact until the very end but we’ll get to that.

BigB’s POV really reinforces that Grian is a loose canon. This was established in DL but LimL reinforces this in a more Romanticized kind of way. Grian’s sort of framed as being dangerous in a fun way and not the “oh this one’ll kill me and dump my body off a bridge” kinda way. He’s a Bad Boy, not a Bad Guy

On the other side of things, Grian’s POV reinforces that BigB is “safe.” The only conflict he has with the Nosy Neighbors is the Judge Judy and Executioner plotline- which Grian doesn’t take seriously whatsoever. Meanwhile, the Bad Boys have conflict with literally everyone else on the server

So when Jimmy and Joel die, it is zero surprise that Grian comes running to BigB again! BigB can’t save him, he can’t even save himself, but goddamnit Grian still trusts him and BigB’s too nice for is own good

And once again!! It’s Grian’s impulsiveness that gets them killed

I would like to also point out the moment where B has 45 seconds left on his timer and while Pearl is desperately trying to save him, Grian sort of stands off to the side and gets ready to crit BigB out if he has to. Remember- Grian was fighting a losing battle to save his boys, it getting to the point where it just wasn’t worth the cost. He hesitated because he didn’t want to lose BigB but wasn’t quick to save him like Pearl was.

And honestly it’s no surprise that Pearl was so quick to give him time. She spent the last season completely on her own and had nobody to turn to. Everyone she tried to stay with turned her away, and BigB was arguably the only person who didn’t outright shun her. Remember, he was only going along with Ren’s decision and I think she knows this. Now in LimL, Pearl has him as someone she can fully rely on, someone who stays at her side no matter what and I also think she panicked at the idea of being alone. Grian has a habit of making selfish decisions, and she knows that won’t bode well for her if it’s just the two of them. Plus she fully understands the power of a sacrifice and what it means to others. Hell, her victory was given to her THROUGH A SACRIFICE. Pearl knows damn well the amount of kindness it takes to do something like that, so her jumping to save B makes complete sense

I also like to think this calls back to 3L, with Grian not moving to save him from Scar and Bdubs. In both situations, Grian thinks BigB was going down anyways and is too scared to do anything to save him. But while BigB couldn’t do anything then, he can do something now. Grian is grateful for the extra time but I can’t help but think this pushed BigB away

Pearl was the last of that trio iirc, with both BigB and Grian dying in clumsy ways

-

SL they coincidentally wound up on the same corner of the map and most of BigB’s silly goofy behavior was directed at Grian but I really need to watch their POVs again to do a proper analysis so we’re putting a pin in that until later

[iraprince]

TIME FOR A PROCESS POST let's talk abt getting from this (client sketch - which, btw, i know other artists have talked about this plenty, but i LOOOOOOVE a client sketch as early direction on a commission. LOVE it)

to this!

at first we didn't know if the title was going to go across the desk, or over the central figure (emara's) head against the back wall. so there was a 1st version where we were favoring a higher title, then we started favoring the desk so we scrapped the clutter + centered it more

i used clip studio's 3D models (particularly for the chair, guard, + weapon crates) and perspective rulers to help with laying everything out at this stage, tho i abandoned the 3D pretty early on bc it's a bit too clunky for me. maybe i'll find it quicker to use w more practice!

(the rest under the cut!)

once the basic layout was approved, i threw together a value study to explain how in the final image all the clutter of the bg detail would be unified and pushed back. lately i find myself thinking abt value earlier + earlier in the process; planning ahead saves me a lot of time!

i fiddled with starting to refine things digitally, but then i got A BRAND NEW LIGHTBOX delivered in the mail with perfect timing (lmao) so i just ended up printing off the digital sketch, finalizing in pencil, + scanning back in

then comes five billion different steps of locking in values, again. i did everything greyscale first, but i didn't worry abt getting things super polished at this stage bc i knew color would factor in a lot to later decisions

this is the point at which presenting these wips "step by step" is kind of misleading; i didn't do these stages one at a time, but rather had a BUNCH of different lighting/shading layers that i kept toggling on and off as i worked to make sure everything was coming along well.

(to get some of these caps i actually went into the main file again and turned a bunch of stuff on/off just for the sake of getting specific examples, because actually when i was actively working on it there was rarely a point where i was actually working on something with "all lighting turned off and just the shading on," or anything like that; but i AM interested in showing what effects different lighting/shading changes had on the base colors, even if i wasn't really making these changes in a rigid order.)

i.e., just for the sake of interest, here's how the flat colors look without those adjustments!! but i honestly never looked at it like this on its own for long...i had all the shading/lighting turned off so i could see what i was doing while flatting, but i was constantly checking back and forth.

then tones added on top (which were actually just two copies of the tone folders in the above posts, set to linear burn and overlay) -

which makes it get HORRIFYINGLY dark, but that's when we go in and add a bunch of lighting adjustments.

the most obvious lighting change above is the big burst of hot pink light from the corner, but there was also some masked overlay + burn layers to pop out the guard + emara and make sure they were pulled out from the bg. if this were a standalone illustration, i maybe would have let the bg (and all that painstakingly drawn detail..........) stand out a little more, but a cover functions differently, and i wanted to make sure the eye goes to the title first. that means sacrificing bg detail even if it looks sick lol

then final touches! a lot of my very last touches are things that are close to invisible; gradient maps on very low opacity, noise, a little bit of scribbling on upper layers. the typesetting was all by the client, except for the lettering for "emara king's," which i did myself!

finally, here's a comparison of ⬅where i left off one night close to the deadline thinking "it's probably done, but i'll sleep on it just in case," then all the adjustments i made the next day with fresh eyes.➡ and that's it!!! phew!!! that's how i make a cover!

[izpira-se-zlato]

Bootleg Hojan Merch

I know Nace shared part of the story in an interview a couple days ago, but I was planning on doing a write-up before I knew that, so here you go 😂 Also contains the continuation of the saga in Finland :D

Putting this under a cut because it's gonna be a bit of a read (plus a few more pictures). Yeah, I hope no one here is surprised that I suck at keeping things short 😂

So I have done a fair bit of clownery this year, and the most recent bit (before the shirt project) was attending two of the Polish gigs, Wrocław and Poznań.

I was wearing my Cha Cha Cha shirt to the Poznań gig, and when taking pictures with Bojan and Nace after the show, I opened my jacket so the shirt was visible. When stepping back after the pic, Nace spied the shirt and was kinda excited about seeing Käärijä merch – though he prefers the Häärijä merch, as he told us, because he's a "big fan" (his words, not mine).

So back at the hotel, I told @braveheart1418, "God, I'm so tempted to try to procure an actual Häärijä shirt. Tell me that's a stupid idea." Of course she did no such thing and so we looked into how much it would cost (too much) and how long it would take (too long), and so I was like, "bummer. And I'm not comfortable making bootleg official merch. Although, omg – it would be hilarious of we did Hojan merch!"

And the longer I thought about it, the more I fell in love with the idea. Again, I told friends, "tell me that would be a stupid idea," and again, they were filthy enablers, and so I started looking into the matter semi-seriously once I was back home (that was Wednesday the 22nd, so almost exactly a week before I left on a business trip leading into a stay at my parents' place leading into the gig).

The first thought was to get a big HOJAN in the Häärijä lettering on foil to iron onto a black shirt, though @braveheart1418 had commented that the design with a picture Häärijä on is much more memorable. That was a very valid point, except that there were no Hojan pics in suitable resolution that were in the right pose.

Thus, things I needed to solve:

get a plotter to cut out "Hojan" for the chest -> my mom said my cousin had a friend with a plotter. Contact was established

get a picture similar to the official merch of Hojan -> I reached out to Dean, who was absolutely lovely and set me up with a picture I could use

clip Hojan from the picture -> I had @submariini as well as another dear friend help me there because they are both much better at photoshop than me and were kind enough to offer their help, and decided to add the yellow border because the best picture Dean had sent me was black & white

get transfer paper -> easy: amazon (loathe as I am to use it)

find a copy shop to print Hojan for me -> tricky bc I got Inkjet-Printer transfer paper and most copy shops have laserjets, if they allow using your own paper at all -> I got laserjet transfer paper and once again had my cousin come to the rescue and helped me print it :D

find t-shirts in the right sizes -> I solved this by eyeballing and taking pics of my dad in the various sizes to check with @submariini. While nerve-wrecking, I am astonished just how well the sizing worked out in the end!

Despite the limited time (limited further by me getting sick Monday/Tuesday before my business trip), it all came together beautifully: I did a test-print Friday evening and picked up the foil cuts, went shirt shopping with my parents on Saturday (shout out to them for letting their adult kid drag them through three different clothes stores and especially to my dad for gamely trying on half a dozen shirts and waiting while I yelled at ed about which to take 😂), finished the test shirt (mine) that evening and adjusted the colours on the outline to be closer to the foil, printed three more copies of Hojan Sunday morning, and got them ready just in time for leaving for the gig!

Which was yet again nerve-wrecking because of the unprecedented amounts of snow happening in Bavaria, but it stood no chance against our determination!

Unfortunately, the snow situation meant that JO couldn't come out after the show, so I passed the shirt to Nace during it and received a pick in return, which made me bluescreen as I hadn't expected an exchange 😂 He put the shirt down without having looked at it, which was a bit unfortunate because I would have loved to have seen his reaction, but it was still a pretty cool moment.

They did get a lot of gifts this close to St. Nikolaus (which is also celebrated in Germany, or at least was in my youth), most of which they left on the stage for the crew to gather up, so I bluescreened even worse when Nace bee-lined over to me as they came back on stage for the SSOL-encore to thank me again for the shirt – others told me later he'd taken it backstage after Carpe Diem with him, which I'd missed 😅

After the show, I met @mogoce-nocoj and ended up talking to her for quite a while outside the venue because neither of us wanted to split off into different directions, and so it wasn't until we were on our way back to @braveheart1418's hotel room (finally accepting that we wouldn't manage to say goodbye quite so soon and might as well talk somewhere warm 😅) that I saw that Bojan had posted the story to his Instagram 😂. Let me just say that it was very fortunate we were still out-doors and not near normal flats, because I don't think I was quiet when I saw 😂

I actually ended up making four shirts including my trial one – one for Nace, one for Häärijä himself because it felt fitting, and one for @submariini because he's such a Häärijä fan :D

The latter two, I took with me to Rovaniemi (which was ed's fault, because (and I quote), "come to Rollo! It'll be fun!"), where a bunch of friends and I met up for a birthday party slash Käärijä gig (over 20 clowns in one place, it was amazing, 10/10 would do again (genuinely)). The weather and means of transport tried to keep us apart (train strikes and ice rains on my end, though I still had better luck than Joker Out), but we actually all made it and by now all made it back again, too :D

As I mentioned in a different post, I actually managed to hand over the shirt to Häärijä before the gig, and he told me he would wear it on stage, which he did! I also got a picture with him, ed, and me all in our shirts, which was also pretty great :D

So, yeah! The Process™ of project 1.

Thank you so so much to everyone who helped and encouraged me along the way -- my parents and my cousin, the gift to our fandom that is Dean Grainger (none of whom will hopefully ever read this specific post), @braveheart1418, @submariini, @alephai, my dearest friend K who's been an enabler for so so many shenanigans, and xia!bf for bearing with my insanity (both where the shirts are concerned and the general Käärijä/JO brainrot) and helping me make this project a reality 💛

[jben073]

Grace Chasity headcanon rambles!

Some silly Grace hcs for @nighthaterfrfr!! I tried to mostly avoid any of mine that you mentioned something similar to in yours bc we had a good deal of overlap! :D

(Just to preface, one of my biggest headcanons is that Grace is autistic so there’s a good chance that some of these may be influenced by that! I did try to pick ones that are more applicable to canon though! [But if anyone wants any of those, I have about a million :3])

When Grace was a young child in elementary school (or Sunday school), she very innocently kissed Alice Woodward and felt something™. (She entirely represses this memory for YEARS.)

^ During her eventual sexuality crisis, despite not having talked to Alice for years outside of polite conversation if they ran into one another, Grace reaches out to her for support/to ask questions because she was the only out queer person that Grace knew and trusted enough not to out her. (Alice big sister mode activated.) 

^ (They’re so silly, they’ve literally never interacted outside of a throwaway line about them knowing and possibly disliking each other but to me they're friends who fell apart and eventually find each other again when they're both more grown as people.)

^ Also, ignore me indulging my other biggest hc which is that Grace is a lesbian.

Grace took piano lessons as a child and is actually quite good because she wanted to be the pianist for her church’s masses when she got older! She stopped taking lessons in high school, but she keeps up with playing in her free time to maintain the skill and occasionally help out with music at her church.

^ Richie constantly tries to convince her to learn anime openings and music from games that he plays for him (he begged her to learn Megalovania for weeks until she finally gave in).

She has never celebrated Halloween because her parents think it’s satanic so Ruth and Richie (who definitely still go trick-or-treating in high school) make a point to bring her some of their candy on the following school day.

^ She definitely doesn’t cry about this gesture later when she goes home!!

She is an absolute monster while playing board games, like she gets REALLY aggressive about them.

^ (definitely influenced by Angela's chaos on smosh games, especially the “be a little more gentle!! >:(” clip)

She can’t go to sleep (intentionally) without getting a kiss goodnight. At home, her parents kiss her on the forehead before bed and if she’s at camp, she has to get a kiss on the head from Girl Jeri if she wants to sleep well.

^ It disrupts her routine which makes it harder for her to wind down!!

^ I like to think that before the events of Abstinence Camp, she thought of Boy Jerry and Girl Jeri as older sibling figures.

She has never been to a sleepover because she’s never had good enough friends to be invited to one :(

^ The nerds + Steph very quickly remedy this!!

^ (quick ramble related to the last hc) During the first group sleepover, Steph wakes up in the middle of the night to get a drink, realizes Grace is still up, and after Grace sheepishly admits her dilemma following Steph’s prompting for an explanation, Steph very casually plants a kiss on her forehead and then goes back to sleep. Grace’s face is beet red after this and now she can’t sleep for an entirely different reason.

^ They're in love to me!!!

LIB related

(Based almost entirely on Blinky’s line about watching Grace and the nightmare about Max/Richie that implies she has the gift.) 

^ Grace has been connected to the Lords in Black since long before we see her, Steph, and Pete summon them in NPMD.

^ Much like Lex was friends with Webby as a child and forgot, Grace was friends with the LIB when she was young but grew out of it.

^ (I have a whole little overanalysis/hc set of things for this hc if anyone wants to hear :3)

After she starts using the Black Book, her appearance starts to very slightly change so that she always looks just a tiny bit off.

^ Her teeth are just a touch too sharp, her ears have the slightest point to them, and her eyes almost seem to shift in colour (depending on which LIB is influencing her).

^ But hey, it must just be a trick of the light!! She's so normal!! Dw about it!!!

She will occasionally feel the sudden compulsion to bite others (Nibbly is feeling silly!!)

^ She does not act on this… most of the time :3

One more silly one to end on

She once owned a Tamagotchi and became so deeply stressed over the state of this virtual creature that she made herself sick from anxiety. 

^ Karen and Mark confiscated the toy very shortly after this.

Anyway ramble's over now but my 45 page google doc of Grace hcs continues to grow every day bc I am fixated hard on this silly little show :3

edit: had to add the '^' thing because the bullets didn't indent properly for some reason!! every one that has that is attached to the previous one without it!

also idk why on mobile the sleepover hc and the Alice hc got cut short?? The sleepover one is supposed to say that now she can't sleep for an entirely different reason and the end of the second bullet says (Alice big sister mode activated).

[pumpkinsy0]

tally angst hcs,,,, pls,,,,, 🧎🧎

tally shippers im making an entrance again, hinestly some of these arent exactly “tally” but whateverrrr

also most of these r about dallys death lmao

•i dont think they ever wouldve talked about their more “passionate moments” together, like EVER, just like when they fight, it happens, they remember it, theh just dont bring it up and its partially bc theyre afraid of exploring that on a deeper level

•i dont think theyd ever find themselves in someone like they do w each other, what they have is special (honestly good for us, bad for them, LMAOOO)

•outside of tim knowing that, i think angela and curly would kinda have that idea kf them as well, so when dall died, they were wondering how tim would take it in the long run and they were surprised when they saw that tim just, continued on as normal

•i dont think sylvia and tim wouldve rlly interacted THAT much before dallys death, they only rlly knew each other as “that mf dally would get w when i was mad at him”, but after dallys death they also wouldve had a somewhat unspoken relationship w each other as well, they’d smoje together and just have one of those “yknow, dallas ____” talks

•ill say for like a SPLIT second he considered calling tim and not darry, but that quickly left his mind

•tim has a few smokes he stole from dally, he cant find it within himself to smoke it and he thinks its so stupid but he cant

•on dallys bday, tim doesnt stay at dallys grave for long, but he does go to his grave, drinks a bit, then pours the rest on his grave, as a “drink up ya bastard”

•bc dallys bday is in early november, and haitian day of the dead is ALSO in early november, i say let them keep the lil pic of dally they have from that newspaper clipping on the alter for a lil longer

•on a normal ass day tho, he just has that thing tucked away in a drawer and he doesn’t look at it, so the first day if the dead he whipped that pic out, angela and curly were surprised he even had it

•darry will try talking to tim about dally and tim wont rlly say much back

•sometimes tim just stares at pony after everything that happened, wondering what he knows about dally

[chososbabymama]

𝒫𝓁𝓊𝑔!𝐵𝒻𝒮𝓊𝑔𝓊𝓇𝓊♧~~~~

personal headcannons bc plug suguru puts me in H E A T ! ! ! :)

PlugBf!Suguru who gives you free flower. Has the BIGGEST pout on his face when he finds out you bought from other people before y'all got together. 'It doesn't matter if I met you 7 months later y/n, it's the principality of it!'

PlugBf!Suguru who buys you anything you need. You want a new bong? He buys you a pretty heart shaped piece w/ a bowl crafted into the shape of a rose. You needed a grinder cuz yours squeaked? He bought you an electrical one. You burnt a nail tryna light the blunt? He cashapps you $250 to get a refill.

PlugBf!Suguru who plugged you for the first time after you got his # from Shoko, there was something about you that made him so fuckin nervous that he accidentally gave you 3gs more than you asked for (you only wanted an 8th).

PlugBf!Suguru who is your self-proclaimed #1 fan. Reposts all your IG photos, shares your TikToks, he even got one of those lighter clips that attach to his pants and keeps a light w/ your face on it w/ him 25/8.

PlugBf!Suguru who pearls the blunt in a way that makes your stomach tight and your thighs clench.

PlugBf!Suguru who shuts down anyone who tries to flirt w/ him during a deal, 'no i dont wanna smoke a blunt with you, get out my car before i call my wife and have her show you whats good' Satoru lets out the ugliest laugh EVERY time.

PlugBf!Suguru who taught you everything you need to know; how to roll, how to scale, how to tell if the flower is synthetic, etc.

PlugBf!Suguru who has to go out of town sometimes to make drops so he leaves you with enough money and flower to keep you comfortable. If you needed anymore he'd send you however much you needed and make toji bring you a bag. If you buy from someone else while he's gone he'll catch such an attitude (big baby will still roll your blunts but he'll FS talk shit while he do it 'you wanna buy from other people? that's cool... why don't you break off my fingers and tell me to go fUCK myself while you're at it huh?')

PlugBf!Suguru who buys you the prettiest gold anklet with an 'S' to match his gold chain that has your initial on it. He got it for you when he first got in the game, saying it was 'only the beginning.' Since then Suguru has spoiled you in ways you'd never dreamed of, but that anklet? That anklet meant more to you than anything else.

PlugBf!Suguru who has sooooo many tattoos dedicated to you. He gets them on special occasions (anniversary, birthdays, holidays, etc. any reason he can find he'll do it). He has your anniversary on his ring finger, your lipstick on his lower back, scratch marks on one side of his back, and a bouquet of your favorite flowers right above his heart. With each one he shows you, you fall deeper in love.

PlugBf!Suguru who also makes a lot w/ his tattoo shop. People travel from across the country to get tatted by him. He's not just your only plug but your only tattoo artist as well. He'd had an extensive portfolio with a plethora of darkskin clients who had a hard time finding artists like you had. Suguru doesn't even consider people like that artists and refuses to work with people who can't tattoo dark skin. When asked why his response is always the same, 'why would I want to work with talentless losers who's terrible character is reflected in their subpar work? I could spend my time doing better shit like... smokin a blunt.'

PlugBf!Suguru who drops the blunt in shock when he learns you're Kento's cousin. Bloodshot eyes widen in shock when he's lookin at old family photos you brought out, completely ignoring the ember burning a hole into the rugs you JUST bought. ('whaT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS RELEVANT? I had a thing for you for fuckin WEEKS before I asked you out and that bastard knew-!')

PlugBf!Suguru who knew from the moment he met you, that you were someone to be loved, cherished, and desired. And he would stop at nothing to prove how dedicated he is to making you feel as special as he knows you are.

[futurecorps3]

Hi!! Wanted to drop by and say that I love your fics and how you write! I saw that you're taking requests for nikolai and I'm so in the mood for some angst with him after watching season two. So I have this idea where the reader is taken by the darkling as leverage against nikolai (maybe she was one of his grishas before or not) and she tries to escape or something, but nikolai saves her.

Thank you in advance and hope you stay hidrated and happy! 💗

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐟 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐞

Masterlist<3

Summary: Nikolai is sure he's never been this empty. Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x fem!reader Warnings: Kidnapping, blood mentions, Nikolai being sad and a bitch to everyone but it's okay bc he's going through something, kinda show!Nikolai for a tiny little second Word Count: 3.2K Requested: Yes

A/N: I added a bit of angsty spice because I'm a SLUT for that good Nikolai hurt/comfort. Sorry for the delay my love and tysm for requesting!!!<3 Hope u like it.

˚ · • . ° .

He wasn't sure how it all came to be. Moments like these made Nikolai realize he was a boy born with tragedy knitted on his skin and calamity running through his blood. His light. His queen. His love. His everything. Kirigan took everything from him.

When in war, everyone knew disastrous things could happen with every coming sunrise. In this specific war, you could wake up with the news that the fold had swallowed the nearest city to yours, or be in the city that was swallowed. Maybe grishas working with the Darkling burnt your house to the ground overnight. Maybe you didn't wake up at all.

The king was aware of the madness going on outside the spinning wheel's walls and all over the country. Kirigan and his army had the upper hand and grew bolder with time, but that wouldn't last, Nikolai was sure of it.

Until they took Y/N.

Not a single guard or grisha seemed to be aware of the enemy taking the one person most precious to the king. She vanished, and he blamed himself. If he hadn't been so stubborn and listened to her, he would've been there.

"There is no clue on where she might be" Zoya asserted, exasperated and scared for her best friend. Saints knew where she was. Tired of seeing Nikolai sitting with a heavy head and puffy eyes trying to work out a way to find his lover. "Time is a crucial matter on these things. But being out there would be a risk. For everyone here." Said Genya, who was standing next to David.

"I can't stand sitting here doing absolutely nothing when she's out there, Genya. Let me go out, it's been three days since t-they..." he couldn't say it. In the past hours, he realized acknowledging the fact Y/N was gone only made his mind run wild over the events that transpired the last time they were together.

Y/N paced back and forth in the grand hall of the royal palace, her heart racing with anger. Nikolai stood in front of her, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression cold and distant. They had been going back on forth for about an hour now, exhausted, but neither of them would give in.

"You're not even listening to me, Nikolai! This is important," Y/N said, her voice rising in frustration. "I am listening, Y/N. I just don't agree with you," Nikolai replied, his tone clipped and dismissive. He came up with a plan to ambush Kirigan, one Y/N considered being ruthless; they knew for a fact he was expanding the fold over some little farmer's village and he wanted to let him just so they could enter to fold and Alina could work her powers out.

The young king was sure that if they were quick enough, the habitants wouldn't immediately turn into Volcra. Still, it was risky and very thoughtless. If it didn't work, hundreds of people would die, which was the last thing the nation needed. Y/N shook her head, her hands balling into fists at her sides. She couldn't believe Nikolai was being so stubborn at a matter like this.

"I can't do this, Nikolai. What if it doesn't work? W-will you be able to live with that in your conscience?" Y/N said, her voice trembling with emotion. Nikolai didn't say a thing, his expression still gone. Y/N took a step back, disappointed.

He knew it was not an easy decision, and had been pondering it for a long time before voicing it to his love. Nikolai, too, battled himself in the classic dilemma he found himself in; was he willing to sacrifice hundreds of people to end a war that had started far before he was even born?

"Y/N, do you think I don't care? It's hard, but it has to be done. Everyone agrees. We'll do our best to get them out of there, but if it doesn't work, they won't die in vain. This could be our one chance to save Ravka," He said, his voice somehow hurt but firm. And with that, Y/N turned on her heel and stormed out of the grand hall, her footsteps echoing off the marble floors.

As she walked through the palace corridors, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling of anger and disappointment that lingered within her. She had always known that she and Nikolai had different opinions on certain matters, but she had never thought it would come to this.

The days preceding the supposed attack were filled with quiet meals, nights sleeping with backs facing each other, and no kisses. Alina and the other grishas knew what was off between the couple, but figured that if someone made even the slightest comment, Nikolai would decide against what needed to be done.

Last thing she said to him was an apathetic "Take care, don't be reckless". Y/N was worried for him but still angry and a bit shocked at them actually risking the lives of breathing, sentient people because of this stupid war. She knew it was a good plan, but either way, lives were to be lost. Nikolai nodded and turned around, mounted his horse and rode down along the other grisha to the border where Kirigan was.

Or was supposed to be.

They waited for hours, even remained hidden for quite some time, and there was no sign of Kirigan. Zoya insisted, against Alina's wishes, to go back to the castle, and they did. They did and Y/N was gone. Maybe the Darkling was more clever than they thought; he figured out the way to weaken the king by taking everything he held dear.

He heard from a friend over in Ketterdam not to love anything, ever. That was his trick and the one thing that kept him alive in many situations while he was working his way up in gangs and gained street credit. He understood that when some minor range inferni approached him with a pale face and trembling hands, saying they had taken the queen and had absolutely no idea when or where.

The king had been too daft, too stubborn to even see through the trap they had set up. It all clicked in that moment, really. The intel on the attack came from an unreliable source, and the former general relied on Ravka's desperation on ending this war. Aleksander knew they'd take anything they could get. He outsmarted the most cunning grishas and royal individuals, hurting the king greatly.

Y/N's absence felt like a never-ending void, and he was plagued with visions of what could be happening to her. No matter how hard he tried to strategize, Nikolai felt helpless, as he didn't know where Y/N was or what the Darkling was doing to her. He ached to embrace her once more, to whisper comforting words in her ear and tell her how much he adored her.

His Y/N was a bold one, and he figured she was putting up quite a fight. He prayed to his saints for her to hold on, to wait and endure until he found where she was. Everyone was working full time, maps scattered in tables with discarded locations, search parties in the land... Nikolai knew this was the time of his ability to find quick solutions to shine. He was going to find her and kill that bastard.

˚ · • . ° .

"Will you stop that already?" Aleksander said exasperated, dodging yet another one of Y/N's blazes being thrown his way. She didn't reply. Hair messy with her gown in shreds inside a cage, all dirty with how much she had wrestled with Kirigan's crew on the way there. Truth is, she had no idea where she was. "He, for once, is right, child. Stop it or he'll put these things on you."

Baghra, in the cage next to her, showed her the iron shackles he had placed. "You'll get sick if you can't use your powers". Y/N sighed, annoyed at everything. She was not scared, not of some coward who caged his own mother out of fear. They were close friends before all of this. With her childhood best friend and boyfriend enlisted in the army, Y/N was left alone. Being one of the most talented Grisha of her age, it was only natural for Kirigan to notice her standing out.

She, of course, knew nothing about his plans and was grateful she had someone to laugh with. "Darling-" "Do not call me that" she spat "Y/N, you know this could've been easier if you allowed it. Your problem is you're too stubborn, too prideful, and way too enthralled by your prince to see clearly." "He's your king, Kirigan. And you're a murderer." Of course, he didn't see himself as such. Everyone with half a brain could see he really thought he was doing the right thing, even when that meant slaughtering countless amounts of people.

The man inhaled sharply and turned around, a certain dramatic flare in his kefta as he did so. Y/N knew he wouldn't dare to hurt her, he needed her alive. But being locked away from everything known in enemy lands was not exactly the ideal situation for her at the moment; even if she scaped she would have nowhere to go. The last conversation she had with Nikolai had been everything but pleasant, and truth be told, she was worried he was worried.

She felt a bit remorseful, her words shot to kill when mad and her soon to be husband's indifference against the fierce words made her even madder, so seeing the situation at hand coolly was not an option when they argued. Also, she knew him well and Nikolai could be too hard on himself most of the time; the speech he was giving himself in that very moment was clear for Y/N.

He most likely was overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, and his head was filled with mean words, whispering that he had been the cause of all this, and that if he had just paid attention, she'd still be there. Of course, there was no way she could ever blame him for the kidnapping/becoming a forceful guest of some lovely little house on the hill, but he could. The demons could be very mean fuckers to the puppy king prince.

That night, Y/N fell asleep on the piles of blankets thinking of those blue eyes. Those blue eyes in the time they spent at sea together. Sunlight danced upon their iridescent sea, unveiling a symphony of hues with delicate glee. Celestial eyes, a glimpse of heaven's embrace, where mysteries and magic interlace. Where she found a place to be.

She hoped she could see them again soon.

˚ · • . ° .

Five days later, Nikolai made search parties go through the country to see if they could find something, anything, all a desperate measure he never thought would pay off. He was wrong.

"We found Kirigan" were the only words Zoya said, already in her kefta ready to head out. Those simple three words had the king sobering up, getting up from his seat as he felt the numbness of his body leave eagerly. Less than fifteen minutes after, he was outside the castle commanding very small teams of grisha with different tasks. There was no need to get there with the manpower they had a few days back in the fold's border. There was one singular purpose that day; getting Y/N out of there.

Nikolai's mind raced, strategizing and planning, his thoughts a whirlwind of possibilities and contingencies. The rhythmic sound of his heartbeat echoed in his ears, a constant reminder of the stakes at hand. Yet, amid the chaos of his emotions, a flicker of hope burned within him. It was the unwavering belief that he and Y/N shared a love strong enough to defy any darkness, a love that would guide him through the treacherous task ahead.

Alina stood at the edge of the hill, her gaze fixed on the horizon where Nikolai and his small army disappeared into the distance. A knot of admiration swelled in her chest as she watched his retreating figure, the determination evident in every stride. Beside her, Mal followed her gaze, his eyes narrowing as he took in the sight. "That man's love for Y/N is unparalleled," he remarked, his voice filled with awe. "I've never seen someone fight so fiercely for another person."

Alina nodded, a wistful smile playing on her lips. "It's true. Nikolai's devotion knows no bounds. He'd move mountains, cross oceans, and face the darkest of enemies for Y/N's sake." Mal's gaze softened as he glanced at Alina, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. "Just like we would for each other." She met his gaze, a tender warmth filling her eyes. "Yes, just like us."

The wind rustled through the grass, carrying with it a sense of anticipation and hope. Alina's gaze lingered on the distant figure of Nikolai, his silhouette a testament to his unwavering resolve. "Do you remember when we first met Nikolai?" Alina asked, her voice carrying a hint of fondness. Mal chuckled softly, a reminiscent glimmer in his eyes. "How could I forget? He was all charm and wit, always scheming, but with a heart that burned fiercely for his people. And for Y/N."

"He's always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve," Alina mused. "But it's during times like these, when the stakes are high, that you truly see the depth of his love." Mal's gaze shifted back to the horizon, his voice carrying a note of admiration. "He's willing to risk everything, including his own life, for Y/N. It's a rare and beautiful thing."

Alina's voice grew quiet as she added, "We're fortunate to have witnessed such love. It's a reminder of what we fight for." Silence enveloped them as they stood together, their hearts swelling with appreciation for the love that bound them all. In the distance, the sun began its descent, casting a golden, almost hopeful hue upon the land.

˚ · • . ° .

As the sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the land, Nikolai and his small, stealthy army approached the Darkling's stronghold. Their destination was a grand, two-story manor nestled within the heart of enemy territory. The imposing structure loomed before them, its dark façade a testament to the malevolence that lay within.

Nikolai's heart pounded in his chest as they neared the manor, his thoughts consumed by the image of Y/N trapped within its walls. The manor stood as a symbol of their separation, a barrier between them that he was determined to breach. The double doors of the building loomed large, promising the secrets and dangers that lay beyond. Nikolai turned to his loyal companions, his voice steady but laced with urgency.

"We enter quietly," Nikolai whispered, his words carried on a whispering breeze. "Our goal is to locate Y/N and bring her out unseen. Remain vigilant and stay close." The members of his small army nodded, their eyes gleaming with a shared resolve. They understood the magnitude of their mission and the risks involved.

With a nod from Nikolai, they entered the manor, their footsteps silent against the marble floors of the grand foyer. The opulence of the surroundings contrasted starkly with the tension that filled the air. Paintings adorned the walls, and ornate chandeliers dangled from the ceiling, casting a dim glow that danced with the shadows.

Distant footsteps could be heard, a day over for all the grishas on Kirigan's side. No one on sight downstairs, but, ever the paranoid, Nikolai made the five soldiers who accompanied him inside stay behind. It was easier, safer, if he wen't by himself upstairs.

He ascended a grand staircase, each step careful and deliberate, his senses heightened. The second floor held a maze of hallways and rooms, potential hiding places where Y/N might be held captive. His path was shrouded in uncertainty, but Nikolai's determination remained unwavering.

As he crept along the hallway, doors lined each side, concealing the secrets within, avoiding any wandering person in the hallways. The air was thick with anticipation, the silence broken only by the soft creaking of the wooden floorboards beneath their feet.

Nikolai pressed his ear against a closed door, straining to catch any sounds that might indicate Y/N's presence. A faint, muffled whimper reached his ears, and his heart clenched. It was the sound he had been longing to hear, the confirmation that Y/N was indeed within the manor. With practiced precision, Nikolai picked the lock, his hands steady despite the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

The door swung open, revealing a dimly lit room. Y/N was there, her weary form huddled in the corner of a cage, her eyes widening with hope at the sight of Nikolai. The room itself was sparse, lacking the opulence that adorned the rest of the manor. It was a stark contrast, a symbol of the darkness that had enveloped Y/N's captivity next to a sick looking Baghra.

"Oh darling" she whispered, melting the lock that had kept her there for days. The door fell open, and as Nikolai's arms wrapped around Y/N, a surge of emotions washed over both of them. The weight of their separation, the fear and uncertainty that had gripped their hearts, all dissipated in that single embrace. Time seemed to stand still as they held each other, finding solace and strength in each other's presence.

Y/N's body melted into Nikolai's, her fingers gripping the fabric of his jacket, as if she couldn't bear to let go. She buried her face in his chest, inhaling his familiar musky scent, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against her cheek. A rush of relief flooded through her, knowing that she was finally safe in his arms.

Nikolai's hold tightened around Y/N, his voice a gentle whisper in her ear. "I thought I lost you," he confessed, his words laced with a mix of vulnerability and profound love. "But I will always find my way back to you, no matter the cost." Tears welled up in Y/N's eyes as she looked up at Nikolai, her gaze filled with gratitude and devotion. "I never doubted you," she replied, her voice filled with unwavering trust.

"We're getting you out of here," Nikolai whispered, his voice filled with determination and love. Together, they left the room, their steps light as they navigated the labyrinthine hallways of the manor. Each turn brought them closer to the freedom that awaited beyond its walls. Nikolai's small army, now positioned strategically throughout the manor, provided cover and ensured their path remained clear.

As they emerged from the grand entrance of the place, relief washed over them. The moon hung high in the night sky, casting a gentle glow over their escape. Nikolai held Y/N close, their eyes meeting in a silent understanding. The grand, two-story manor now stood as a symbol of their victory, its walls unable to contain the power of their love and determination.

In that moment, as they left the manor behind, they knew that they had conquered not just the physical barriers but also the darkness that had threatened to tear them apart. Hand in hand, they embarked on a journey towards a future where their love would be the guiding light, ready to conquer this war and build a new world belonging to the both of them.

˚ · • . ° .

Hi! Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed:) Hey, that scape seemed a bit too easy... right? 👀

Remember, the best way to support writer’s works on here is by REBLOGGING WITH TAGS. I’d very much appreciate it if you did!

Thanks again, stranger. Hope you have a nice day<3

NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO REPOST AS THEIR OWN/TRANSLATE/OR COPY MY WORK IN ANY PLATFORM OR SPACE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT CONSENT.

[lyriumcoloredskies]

Written in the Pages pt.2

Pairing: Bakugo x Villain!Reader WC: 2.7k Summary: In which Bakugo finds himself a little too attached to a certain public nuisance, much to the detriment of his own life. pt.1 here CW: slight angst, happy ending, therapy mention, coming to terms with reality AN: UwU the fact that I wrote this in a day is astounding bc ya gorl usual could never

Kirishima stood outside of Bakugo’s high rise apartment, hesitant and unsure of how this would go. He checked his phone to see that both Mina and Midoriya had texted him their ETA. He pocketed the phone and adjusted the case of beers in his other hand to stop the cardboard from digging into his fingers. He was glad to have backup for this and prayed to whatever gods were listening that Bakubro wouldn’t turn away a small “friendly get together”.

He wasn’t dumb, despite all the himbo attributes that tended to be pinned onto him by his rabid fangirls (not that he wasn’t grateful for their almost too enthusiastic support). He certainly wasn’t clueless when it came to his best friend. Kirishima knew Bakugo like the back of his hand. From the angry insecure boy he used to be, to the aloof and pragmatic man he had become. Rarely had they spent a day apart since starting the agency or since UA for that matter.

So it worried Kirishima when Bakugo began to become snippier, especially toward the sidekicks. After a tantrum of yelling and biting insults, he would silently come behind the storm Bakugo left to console the sidekicks letting them know it was nothing personal. He was willing to let Bakugo work through his feelings, these things tended to resolve rather quickly. Despite his rough exterior, Bakugo had gained a fair amount of emotional intelligence as he matured.

To his surprise, that wasn’t the case. More and more frequently Bakugo came in with exhaustion draping over his face, bags deep under his eyes, and his emotions like a bomb on the edge of explosion if the wrong wire was clipped. Most concerning of all was how Bakugo was doing on the field.

Kirishima could tell something was wrong with Bakubro, and Red Riot could tell things were amiss with Dynamight.

He had spent so much time alongside him that he knew every intimate detail of how he fought. Their moves a complex ballroom dance, a waltz for two. The man was sharp and calculated. Bakugo strove to be the best, and that meant he did things with frightening efficiency (if you ignored the massive amount of property damage that came along with his quirk).

But for the last few months his reflexes were lagging, the exhaustion of too many late nights showing, leading to avoidable injuries that seemed to linger for too long.

It wasn’t just him that noticed either. Midoriya had made an impromptu visit to the agency ask if things were okay with the blonde. Kirishima felt guilty to let him know that he had no clue, that the two of them were in the same boat, clueless to Bakugo and his inner turmoil. 

Then a few weeks ago during a get together with the Bakusquad at their favorite izakaya, Mina pulled him aside to ask if things between him and Bakugo were alright. She had suspected Bakugo’s continual reluctance to meet up might have been due to a fight between the two friends. He quickly let her know that it wasn’t the case and that he had been concerned too. It didn’t help that Bakugo was a masterclass in shutting down any discussion of his health, be it physical or mental. Each time Kirishima would pluck up the courage to ask if something was wrong, he was met with a scoff or roll of the eyes.

“I’m fine, drop it.” Bakugo would grit out between clenched teeth. His arms crossed in front of him defensively.

Kirishima knew better than to keep pressing lest he and the sidekicks wanted to deal with a testy Bakugo for the rest of the week. His efforts to try and get him to talk in another setting hadn’t worked either. Bakugo had pointedly been ignoring his texts, Kirishima had been lucky if he was even able to get a one worded reply. Bakugo hadn’t been very active in their group texts either. It seemed like if it wasn’t work, Bakugo didn’t care. Kirishima really tried to be a patient and good friend but at this point he knew it was only a matter of time before something happened. His friend was too exhausted, too hurt, too withdrawn. He knew the consequences of sloppiness of the field, he had witnessed it firsthand.

That was how heroes died.

Kirishima would be damned if this was how his friend would go out. No, Bakugo was a bright star - destined for more than the inky black loneliness he had decided to surround himself in.

Drawing in a breath, he steeled his resolve and knocked.

***

Bakugo walked through the neighborhood, the cold winter air biting his cheeks, staining them a ruddy color. He took in the sights of the street vendors beginning to set up their stalls as the barely peeking sun bathed the world in its soft orange pink light.

He let his mind wander back to the talk he, Kirishima, Deku, and Mina had a few months ago. At first he had felt offended, like an animal cornered and threatened. The hot coals of embarrassment turning into a roaring fire as he lashed out. How humiliating to be confronted by everything he knew was true. He knew his performance as a hero had been suffering, but to see it in front of him in the form of his friend’s concerned faces had been a slap in the face, even then it was no match to Mina’s words about how they were worried he was isolating himself. Those words froze his veins over and settled into permafrost in his chest.

How quickly had he forgotten everything he already had to turn to a siren song? He was so desperate for a love, a touch he never knew, that he was willing to forget everything he already had to plunge into the icy waters of an illusion that would never be.

Bakugo had never been one to do things lightly. His feet continue to carry him as he reminisces of the month it took to overhaul his entire life.

He packed up his romance novels, haphazardly stacking them all into a cardboard box, which he unceremoniously shoved deep under his bed, too far for him to reach. He cleaned his apartment, dusting the blinds and the ceiling fan, collecting the trash from his floors, and scrubbing the dirt off every surface. He even took a rag to the baseboards. Hours of effort would culminate into a sparkling apartment, the sight lifting his mood and settling his soul. He took it as a sign that perhaps - things would be okay.

As he settled into his couch he poured himself a glass of whiskey as a treat for his hard work today. A groan involuntarily left his lips as his joints popped and creaked when he fished his phone out of his pocket. He shot off a quick text to Kirishima, letting him know that he was going to take two weeks off of work, a rarity for him. A ghost of a smile played on his lips as he read through Kirishima's enthusiastic emoji ladden reply encouraging him to take the time to recover. 

Things would be okay.

Knowing he would have to inevitably face this, he texted his PR manager to pawn his social media accounts off to her. It felt like the right step in his detox from his addiction - from you. He took a large sip of the whiskey, relishing the burn as it slid down his throat before pleasantly settling into his stomach. The balmy feeling slowly floating into his veins, helping him feel a little number and a little better for what he had to do.

The hardest had yet to come; he knew he had to delete his account on the writing site. As he logged into his account, he stared at the bookmarks of writings he had collected over the months. Each title brought a smile to his face as he reminisced over the hundreds of lifetimes with you – too many to count, each perfect and special in their own ways - moments of utter intimacy that swept Bakugo off his feet.

Reading the various titles was like a loaded gun, ready to spray his messy emotions out into the world again. Katsuki hesitates, his finger floating over the delete account button. It would be easy to just not do it in order to preserve every memory, the emotions shared, the trials and tribulations you two had been through. He drains the rest of his whiskey and embraces the burn settling into each taste bud.

Bakugo presses the screen of his phone.

The warmth of the alcohol seeps into him as the same time as the tingle of loneliness enters every marrow of his being.

You were gone.

.

.

.

Steadily he began filling his life with the things he loved. For the first time in months he finds himself in his childhood home to visit his mother and father. He takes in the sight of their greying hair, wondering how life had managed to go by so quickly. It had done him some good until the old hag began nagging him about not yet finding a wife.

Bakugo tries his best to ignore the cold tendrils encircling in his heart.

He starts going to his friend's scheduled hangouts again at their favorite izakaya. He would never admit it but Sero and Denki’s jokes and laughter breathe life into his worn self. He ardently denies the furling vines of jealousy from taking root as Kyoka and Momo announce their wedding plans.

He checks in on his classmates and even finds himself back at UA for a charity event. The nostalgia grips his heart as he wanders the same old halls and sees his old teachers. Aizawa-sensei is the same as ever, sleep deprived and utterly done with life, though Bakugo can spy the fondness in his eyes as he looks over his old troublesome students. While mingling, although Mina would disagree and say he was just standing intimidatingly, he finds out that Deku and Cheeks were expecting their first child.

He tries to block out the feeling of the lead in his stomach.

His shitty love life has nothing to do with their happiness so he grunts out a congrats and ignores the dopey lovesick expression on that idiot Deku’s face.

That night at UA reignites his efforts of trying to maintain a normal life and he throws himself into his hobbies. He signs up for a rock climbing gym and then sporadically adopts a small tortie kitten he saves on a total bullshit hero job (he affectionately names her Princess Explosion Murder). He starts cooking with a renewed fervor, trying desperately to ignore that he was cooking for one. He also ignores the weird tight feeling in his chest as he glances at the chair on the other side of his dining table, always empty.

Bakugo thinks he's doing everything right until he's somehow not. He brings it up to his therapist (one that he doesn't want but Kirishima bullied him into getting). That's when his therapist recommends that he “reconnect with himself” by not keeping busy, but rather listening to his "inner feelings". The phrase makes Bakugo quirk an eyebrow and internally decide that therapists are fucking quacks. His therapist bargains with him and asks him to just try it once. "What's the harm?" she says, eyes measured and too analytical for Katsuki's taste. Sure enough, two weeks ago he abandons the plush interior of his BMW and the ever present traffic of downtown Mustafu for the scenic 30 minute walk to his agency. It infuriates him to no ends that his fucking therapist was right. No wonder he paid out the ass for weekly visits. As the days he walks progresses, so does Bakugo. He decides that while the loneliness would probably never leave him, that in the context of the world, he could slowly see himself accepting that things weren’t so bad.

Things would be okay.

.

.

.

Today his feet took him to a familiar path, a back street filled with vendors that would connect to the busy main street that passed by the small café near Mustafu University, where he would pick up a cinnamon latte before taking a left to the office.

A fresh cold breeze made him draw himself closer his jacket, his feet picking up the speed wanting to get out of the bitter cold. Lost in his own thoughts and the beauty of the watercolor sunrise, he didn’t realize he wasn’t paying attention until it was too late. He collided into something solid and it snapped his attention back to reality. The soft feminine gasp accompanying a not so feminine “fuck” made him look down. He saw papers scattered, escaping a tote bag with the Froppy logo, tilting his chin down a little further he could see the shine of spilled coffee all over his camo green Canada Goose jacket. Without even knowing it his mouth bent down into a scowl. The person who bumped into him seemed fine, just a little shaken up. He knows the polite thing to do is offer a hand and tell the stranger that it was no problem, the jacket is waterproof after all, but after 2 seconds of soul searching he decided that he didn’t give enough of a fuck to be nice. He opened his mouth to release his scathing remarks to the clumsy fuckwad who ran into him until he caught sight of something that skyrocketed his pulse. His mouth dried and he felt his heart drum in his ears.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry” you said as you shakily stood up, akin to a fawn.

You reached into your jacket, fishing out crumpled napkins to help sop up the mess on his expensive jacket. He stood in silence not sure if this was an amalgamation of his own sick mind, because how many times had he imagined exactly this?

“I’m so sorry I should have been more careful!” you profusely apologize, refusing to meet Bakugo’s eyes out of embarrassment.

Bakugo takes in every detail. It was everything he remembers. Your soft bouncy hair, the floral smell (lilacs he commits to memory) of your shampoo wafting to him as you stood entirely too close to him. Though you're bundled in a winter jacket, he can make out the distinct shape of your body that had him in a chokehold for months. The skin of your hands shines, its clear that you managed to also drenched in yourself in coffee. Your hands shake as the liquid on your skin settles into a chill that penetrates your bones.

Katsuki trembles, his fist clenches in his pockets, desperately trying to ground himself. He can feel the cold winter air, he can smell the spilt coffee, and he can hear the rustle of the napkin over his jacket. This is all real.

You continue your efforts to clean Bakugo’s jacket until he places his warm hands over yours. He relishes in it, despite the temperature difference, he can tell your skin is soft and smooth. Your hands are tiny in his and he drinks up the sight, his pulse racing. His actions seem to surprise you as your head darts up, catching his brilliant vermillion eyes, like the prettiest sunrise you had ever seen. Your breath catches in your throat as the two of you stare at each other, locked in a stalemate.

“I’m sorry” you whisper, Bakugo savors the way your words escape you, the heat of your words brought to life by the winter air. Your lips are as beautiful and kissable as he remembers.

His eyes search yours for an answer, any indication that, somehow this isn’t all just in his mind- that you aren’t just an off duty villain surprised to bump into an off duty hero - that some part of what he wanted was something you wanted too.

“Let-” Bakugo rasps out, his words catching in his dry throat, “Let me buy you another coffee.”.

A beat passes between the both of you.

“Yes”, you reply breathless and airy as if anything more would break the magic spell between you two.

“I’d love that.”

[is-on-its-way]

my problem with iwtb... I think?

Okay Im not sure Im eloquent enough to meta my feelings on this topic, I also havent seen enough past season 8s finale to really have perfect opinions on this, but from the clips I see on here and reddit etc. I have issues I need to work out…  

There is something about the characterisation of Mulder in IWTB that really annoys me. And please correct me if Im wrong on his motivations. Usually my protest is the mistreatment of Scully. But in this case I think theres a certain mistreatment of Mulder’s character that really irks the shit out of me. 

Firstly Mulder comes off as Tom Brady in this movie. So single minded and stuck in his ways he couldn’t possibly figure out how to live his life without the one thing that he thinks makes him successful or that he lives for. Two things... its the wrong obsession (more on that in a moment) and this is the opposite of where his character has been hurtling since he met Scully so as written it makes no sense.

The thing mulder was obsessed with and searching for since he was 13 years old was solved. He got his answer when he found out what happened to his sister. He was freed from his lifelong quest. He even was ready to give the agent thing up in the s7 finale, telling Scully the price had been too high and she needed to stop. Meaning he would also be stopping, bc he never wanted to do it without her. Sure he wanted to keep fighting in 8 to protect his baby, but they got rid of the baby atp, so Im not gonna get into that rn.

Turning him into the FBI agent ghost of Tom Brady was… a choice. Throwing away the love of his life, the one who believed him, the one who listened and supported him and loved him back endlessly for what? To help the organisation that tried to murder him? No. I just dont really believe it at all, because it's just not believable. 

Secondly, would he maybe have a midlife crisis? Sure. Would he be lost or depressed? I could absolutely see it, they lost a child found out the aliens were taking over earth. Would Scully commit him rather than leave him alone in that house? For sure. And it would’ve apparently been the culmination of the plot line Morgan and Wong had worked towards since the beginning... 

Realistically, he might've been lost for a while with the end of the quest for his sister. I get it, you work your entire life for something and its always just within reach and when you finally accomplish it, you think well what now? You’d thought, you’d held onto the fact that when you got to the top of the mountain you would feel happy and accomplished and relieved. But when you turn around at the summit from the horizon of the breadth of your work, youre met with yet another peak ahead. Some other goal, some other thing that occupies your mind because thats what your mind is used to.

You’re just going to have a really hard time convincing me for Mulder it was searching for proof of Aliens in random magazines, (when he knows there are aliens and they have invasion plans) instead of preventing the 2012 thing, publishing actual papers under his Luder pseudonym, and making sure Scully knew how much he loved her as his family had never done for him, making sure he made Samantha proud and lived the life she missed once he let her memory rest. 

Thirdly he is intelligent, a psych major with alien superpowers, who graduated from Oxford. Would he be bumbling around making paranormal magazine collages a la Charlie Kelly when he ALREADY knows the endgame? Would he be dealing with random cases and helping the FBI who betrayed him and put him on death row?

Or would he be using Marita Covarrubias and his apparent new power to speak to the dead to try and stop the invasion by any means necessary? Would he be combing over Maritas paperwork, medical records, UN contacts, payment histories to find, like all those bees in Tunisia for example? Would he not be having Scully research this magnetite thing and getting papers written about its properties so that when the hybrids make themselves known there would be literature for people to find? or engineering an anti bee-virus virus? (damn those effing bees btw) Would he not be using every power of his beautiful mind to continue fighting in any way he could, fully of the reservation? 

And could Scully then rightly say don’t bring that darkness into our home? Because my answer would be no. Even if she did go back to being a medical doctor (Im going to ignore the surgeon part because its out of character and would take her redoing residency etc. lets labor under the impression she’s a family doctor or ER doctor). They were right about one thing, the darkness follows them, and would still even if they both stopped looking. Thats the show after all.

Would she maybe have wanted a vacation where he could row her to a deserted island in the adirondacks? Sure. Would she be okay with letting an alien invasion happen in 2012 and saying to Mulder stop fighting? No. When one of them quits the other supports and encourages them back to the mission. Thats the show. If anything Scully having the breakdown about that darkness would’ve made more sense.

Anyway my point being, the transition from Mulder fighting for the big picture to him being a sad shell of himself in his hoarder office, telling Scully they weren't meant to be together is... jarring to say the least, and nonsensical. 😔

[yuyulie]

Feel free to ignore everyone but I've just been looking at some of the things I made over the years and its so many things I gave up on lmao 😭😭 I see a bunch of things online, go and recreate them in MD/Blender and most of the time they either don't work in game or the textures look like shit 💀💀 so if anyone wants to see them, check down below 👇🏽👇🏽

Had to go in the whatsapp chat archives with my irl to find this BUT THIS WAS MY FIRST MESH from back in sept 2022 apparently? I was soooooooo proud of myself this took me literally like a week bc of the weights and then the textures and I used the fuck outta this top in my game, every sim of mine was wearing it 🙂‍↕️ lmao but i took a break from the sims in jan '23 bc of my internship and when I came back I was like "OMG this looks like SHIT???

I'll be honest I don't remember ever opening this in game 😭 but apparently this top was like 20k~ polys??? Crazy times

NGL i feel bad abt deleting the first top since i made it for a tiktok cc process vid and people asked me when i was planning on releasing and i was like yea soon 😊 then never did shjdbhjdbfds

THE SANDALS WERE MY FIRST EVER PAIR OF SHOES but the straps would disappear when i made the sims feet bigger 😭 but its fine now i (kinda) learned how to make (very simple) shoes now so maybe ill post some soon 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

The hat was cute but in cas my sims would get the question mark when i put it on them i don't know why?? and the bikini belt thing was just meh so i got rid of it

The first top was also my favorite for awhile but the weights were kinda weird, everything else also had the same problems and honestly im glad they did bc they were all ugly af, SUPER high poly and just looked like caca in game thank god i deleted them (there were more things i made in between this and the next pic im abt to show but i don't have any pics soooo)

This hello kitty necklaces I was so proud of and I made SO MANY SWATCHES (18!!!) but bc i always rush to finish everything before getting in game, when i finally checked them they looked real nice im ngl BUT the morphing was sooo bad on small beads😭😭 they looked even worse on the masc frames RIP

I don't have the ref I used for this anymore but it was a really cute bonnet, mine just looked like a crumbled piece of paper plus its from last year so I didn't know how to retopologize or how to sculpt in Blender

This was supposed to come out with one of the simblreen gifts but again I didn't like the morphs but I did use the base of the cross for my other cross necklaces so i guess not completely useless 🤞🏽🤞🏽

Still proud of the lighter but I don't know what I was going for 😪

The mp3 was so fun to make but the weights were kinda weird and I didn't know how to fix them 🙄 (I did ended up using the earphones for the folasade collection 👌🏽)

Both were supposed to come out in the denim set BUT the more I looked at the pants the less I liked them and the skirt I just felt like it didn't belong with the jeans I did release?? its a cute skirt but I haven't felt like releasing it so 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

I made this back when I wasn't mindful of where tops should stop/where the bottom part starts if u don't want any clipping to happen (looking at the heroine top since it also had the same issue but I realised wayyy too late so couldn't go back and fix it LMAO) still its a cute top and I feel like I could fix it in sculpt mode now??? idk

Very high poly 😭

PINKPANTHERESS MY LOVE ♥♥♥ ( I made this around the time I started the follower set so I just kinda forgot abt it, maybe one day I'll go back n finish it)

I think this was the original idea I had for heroine top? I gave up on it bc I just knew the buttons were gonna morph horribly since they sit right on the chest (also i never realised how similar it was to the tiktok top lol)

Ok after this, all the pics are from stuff that was supposed to be on the follower set but this was the original mesh for the dee top and I had to remake it since I couldn't find tops with sleeves of that size to transfer weights from 😭😪 (if that makes sense)

THIS JUST DID NOT LOOK LIKE THE REF 💀💀💀 plus the 'flower' is soooooo bad 😭 sorry to whoever added this pic to the pinterest board I flopped so hard 😖

I just thought the quality of the textures was poor so I didn't even wanna put it up for download 💔 the jean quality I could definitely do better but the sheep patch/stitch(??idk) I couldn't find a clear high quality pic so yea 😪

i LOVED this one but kept having so many problems with it, first the dress was flying off the sim in cas, fixed that then the weights started acting up it was problem after problem lmao maybe one day ill sit down and take a look at it again

Cute skirt but the transparent/lace part would clip a lot

the pants would clip out of the skirt when sims walked and i was very confused since i obviously deleted parts of the jeans that aren't visible but that didn't work so idk

I also loved this headband but it was kinda hard to find a hair that would fit without clipping, if i ever find one I would definitely put it up for download 👆🏽👆🏽

It looks alright in sims4studio (i guess) but in game the textures were kinda blurry

CUTE but i forgot that buttons on the chest have shitty weights/uv's🤐

Thats all for now, I made so many other things but most of the time I just delete them bc i don't have the ability to make them work in game 😞plus I can't stand having files on my pc that im not using bc otherwise they r just taking up space 🤞🏽