#just from thoughts that ive realized making my yowzah cult au

[acetheta]

i keep thinking about river being brainwashed cause like . i feel like it isnt talked about enough.

the silence is a RELIGIOUS ORDER. she grew up in a fucking cult. and it breaks my heart like to me she always looks so fucking scared around kovarian.

and yes doctor who is a “family” show but at the same time. what was the aftermath of it all? really all she ever did was go along with what shes told. that is quite literally what she says in the impossible astronaut. im not saying she didnt love thr doctor. of course she did. but just. the aftermath of it. it isnt talked about enough.

she is very silent in her pain. like her most genuine pain. (i could write a whole other essay on this LMFAOOO) all she ever wanted was to be loved.

like. growing up she didnt HAVE anyone. she had to be hardened. and then there’s that moment in lets kill hitler where her walls just FALL. she saves him and yes she needed to but also she WANTED to. she wanted to be loved and here was this man that already knew her and already cherished her. i think more than just her loving him, she found haven in him. she believed he would always protect her. namely- from the silence