#just for the record i'll only draw stuff that includes my ocs

[rielzero]

Pls draw ur oc sitting in Astarion's lap, I will die for them 🥺

ok >:D

Anyone else have doodle requests? Will probably finish wips like this later but this is nice to do in between my comics.

[jaderimehardt]

👋🏻 So, I ended up not drawing anything for that character's birthday.

I did think of a pose about a day and a half ago but that isn't enough time for me to actually get anything drawn out and colored. I'm too slow and I set myself to too high of standards. Plus factor in irl things and my lack of motivation... 🫠 *shakes head*

If I feel bad about it, it's for a couple of mutuals who like him as much as I do, or more- even. I've kind of grown super attached to a certain B🔹L🔹E🔹A🔹C🔹H boi, to be completely honest with you (I'm bypassing the tagging system with the 🔹's).

They still draw him every year on his birthday, and one even bi-weekly almost. She has supported me every time I draw him by re-tweeting my artwork on Twitter. Probably the only person who acknowledges me like this on a regular basis. The other person supports me also on a bit of a lesser scale, and she draws him often too, but I think she struggles with confidence in her art like I do.

It's not an easy thing... "having confidence" in one's own art. And when you don't see likes or favorites on your art, that confidence drops tremendously. You feel like you've done something wrong. You try to figure out 'what' you did wrong, and when you can't find it- you just want to give up. It's a sinking feeling.

But inevitably most artists pick up the pen or pencil again and draw once more because it's something we love to do. The thing is, this time we're less likely to share it because of that lack of confidence. This is what has been happening to me slowly over the past couple of years (and to a couple friends of mine as well).

People don't seem to realize this.

"Where did all the fanart go?"

Well, you all got so picky with favoriting things, they lost motivation and stopped posting. What did you expect?

If and when I post things, I have a fear of tagging it. 💠 Well if you don't tag it, no one is going to see it- and then you really won't get likes/faves. ⚜️ Yeah no kidding. but then I have a logical reason for WHY no one likes it. Like Twitter, I get under 10-30 impressions on most my posts even with tags. At the very least if it's posted, it's on record/in my portfolio of sorts. It exists in my history somewhere.

I removed all of my stuff off of my DeviantArt a couple years ago. Now I'm sure when I post things people question if I'm genuine or not because they have no history to look at- no 'portfolio'. Though if they went to my Wordpress Blog, they'd see that I've been drawing and posting my stuff for a long time. But no one is going to go and look into me that far in-depth. "Guilty until proven innocent" means nothing when all they want to do is prove you guilty.

That makes me even more hesitant to post things- but I do have all my PSDs with individual layers, so I can always provide proof whenever necessary. And I know where my posts are, with timestamps and dates. I can defend myself. That's all that matters to me.

I made this blog to "be more creatively unhinged" and to "be ramble-y". That includes putting my thoughts out into the open, "having proof on paper", so to speak.

I also want to show people the path that I'm taking, so if they're interested in taking it- they can. But everyone learns differently. Everyone has a different style. I may absorb information one way and apply it in this manner, while someone else may learn it in a completely different way and apply it in a polar opposite format. It's all a matter of who you are, perspective and variables.

So... one day (or a string of days), I'll post a bunch of videos. I did this a few days ago actually, lol. These are learning tools. Other days I may make tutorials (I used to make a lot of these but then I deleted that blog). Some days I'll promote my Etsy shop (this might happen the most, tbh)- featuring a lot of my Resin things, and graphics I'm working on. And on rare occasion some fanart because I'm at the lowest of low with that atm.

If I do anything fanart I'm thinking my OC's... 🤷🏻‍♀️. People dislike OCs, I'm aware of that but it's not like many people (if any) like my stuff anyways. They say to draw for self-satisfaction. I think it's time to follow that.

And I 💓 H🔹I🔹T🔹S🔹U to death, but his hecking fluffy hair man 🫠. I did my best with his hair in my last fanart- spent hours perfecting the lineart... honestly I was so proud of it. But apparently it wasn't everyone's cup of tea 🤷🏻‍♀️. It is what it is. (I'm still happy with it. I love his hair, please never change it Kubo-san 💝)

I might doodle a lot of the Loomis Method heads cause I like drawing faces. Poses/bodies not so much. In time I'll work my way to the poses but I just want to mindlessly doodle. (I hate drawing hands 😒)

Btw here's another vid on that, and I like this one so much better.

I also want & need to do a full graphic image for a puzzle. My Mom and my Step Dad are really big into puzzles right now and they're just passing them around with all their friends. Like some puzzle group, lol 😅

I think it'd be cool to actually design one myself, buy it from my Partner- Printful, gift it to them, they can complete it and then they can pass it around.

Mother's Day and Father's Day isn't that far away. I just have no clue what to make the graphic, lol. All the things they like are copyright and I'm not crossing into those waters.

I need to find something generic 🤔💭

[cloudsoffire]

just some classic oversharing in the form of a bullet point list

fun facts about me

when i was like 11 or something my art got featured in a cringe compilation

i was in mormon boy scouts

both of my siblings are also trans

i was so bad at school that they sent me to another one that had crisis lines on the back of our ids

my first fanfiction was either wings of fire or warrior cats

i have on three separate occasions attempted to write a fic alongside another person which intersected.

none of these fics included a single canon character

none of them were completed, but the one i was most serious about had my partner abandon their side first. i wrote 23,510 words across the original and a rewrite, as well as detailed character bios with math as to each character and their abilities. because they were all ocs. every single one.

i have tried to get into game design but always gave up to quickly. i would draw map and ui plans on schoolwork though

i have livestreamed twice. once was undertale on youtube when i was like 14, and once was little witch nobeta on twitch. the latter contained in-depth criticism of capitalism to an audience of zero. probably for the best as my laptop is trash and the recording was choppy af

in seventh grade i wrote an undertale x hunger games fanfiction as a school assignment. look idk either. i think it was my first time writing for canon characters

i also wrote warrior cats fanfic (original characters, original clans, etc.) as a school assignment but i don't think it had to be fanfiction that time.

i have an unfinished 17k word original work set in a post-climate change society where serial killers are basically celebrities.

my biggest work is a 53,729 word original story

i actually have a lot of original stuff. a fair amount of it is horror or has horror elements.

a line i wrote for a fanfic a long time ago was so visceral and graphic that to this day my older sibling refuses to read my writing. it was just a character shooting another upwards through the chin but i'll admit the way i described it was a bit much. i haven't written anything on that level since.

oh right the "all ocs" thing wasn't true for one of the warriors fics. i briefly wrote scourge because i gave him fankids. and a mate.

okay let's just go over some of my original stories

androids

lawyers

chaos dimension

magical girls but gay and also they fight god and eventually blow up the world tree and its actually a lot more convoluted than i can put succinctly.

the grim reaper retires and chooses a dead kid to take his place. more of an episodic thing.

a girl who can't feel pain

a story you can tell was written out of frustration after reading the (garbage) be more chill book. it has a high school guy that immediately gets rejected at the beginning.

angel and demon try to kill each other (mt only romance thing)

submarine goes into an underwater labyrinth and a lot of people die

literally almost all the characters in these are queer. idk anyway back to me.

my first "relationship" ended in a couple days because i thought they deserved better. she was later found out to be faking being in a band and selling other people's music and it was a whole thing. for those two reasons combined i don't really count it.

i have 4 albums of music from sonic on my phone, with album art and everything, adding up to 265 tracks. they are all ripped from youtube.

i've been sent to grippy sock jail three times, but only made to stay once. during this time i read most of the ultimate hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy.

when i was a kid i had a deviantart where i posted some of my earliest art. i had a riolu oc and constantly drew riolu and lucario. this is because i got riolu as my character in pokémon mystery dungeon 2.

i used to be known as "best sass cheld." now i am simply an uninteresting 19 y/o adult.

i own a demon horn headband

i used to use "rose" as a stand-in last name on the internet. i stopped using it as the name had too much baggage attached.

the great gatsby sucked. that's not really a fun fact but it's been a year or so and i'm still thinking about how terrible that book is.

when i was 14-ish i had a health teacher that blasted heavy metal music before class

i took a full year-long break from social media when i was 17 and a couple months into 18

i would list some stuff from deviantart but it's not really stuff i wanna share

i would also list stuff from twitter but i can't remember the vast majority of it.

i can't think of anything else but that's already a lot more than i thought i'd be able to remember

well i can think of some stuff but they're either personal or identifiable so that's that