#just by her own phenomenal performance she changed their minds and got the role they didn't want her for

[yashley]

laura bailey in grounded II: making the last of us part II

[jcmarchi]

The study and practice of being human

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/the-study-and-practice-of-being-human/

The study and practice of being human

For their last meeting of the fall 2023 semester, the students in MIT’s course 21W.756 (Nature Poetry) piled into a bus and headed to a local performance space for a reading: their own.

Sure, students in the course, taught by Professor Joshua Bennett, spend much of the semester reading and discussing poems. But they create and perform, too, often using tools from their other studies at MIT. One student in 21W.756 built a custom field microphone to incorporate recorded sounds into his work; another designed collages to complement her poems.

“The students are phenomenal,” says Bennett, a professor of literature and Distinguished Chair of the Humanities at MIT. “I try to think about how everything else they’re studying at MIT might meet up with the study of literature in a productive way. We’ve got great students who do super-interesting things.”

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He adds: “They are willing to take the leap between other classes and our class very seriously. They see it as an opportunity — and they’ve explicitly told me this — to talk about being human. They’ve cherished that, and it’s been a transformative experience to have witnessed that.”

Bennett, an award-winning professor with a broad portfolio of work, knows about leaping between disciplines. He has published books of literary criticism, cultural history, and three collections of poems. Bennett has also gained renown as a spoken-word poetry performer — he has another major tour slated for this summer — and helped found the poetry collaborative Strivers Row. His readings have gained what must be millions of views on YouTube, including “Tamara’s Opus,” a dramatic work written for his deaf sister.

In short, Bennett also does his own super-interesting things, while encouraging students to join him in the pursuit of knowledge.

“Why do we create literature in the first place?” Bennett asks. “Why do we go to college? Why do we listen to people tell stories? Why do 300 or 3,000 people at a poetry reading listen to me or others talk? I imagine some of it is, there are things we love about being alive. And one of them is the feeling you can learn something new. You can be astonished. There is a space for you to become more complete through knowledge.”

Reading (and listening to) everything

Bennett grew up in Yonkers, New York, in a family that included preachers and musicians, and helped inculcate a love of learning in him.

“I’m thankful I had parents who just weren’t narrow-minded,” Bennett says. “They taught me to read everything, to listen to everything. At school I was reading Fitzgerald, and other works that were canonical, and wherever I saw beauty I really gravitated to it.” At the same time, he notes, “I was exposed to the genius of gospel music, jazz, and Motown,” while learning about Black scientists and much more.

He credits a 10th grade English teacher, Kaliq Simms, for helping him realize his potential as a student and writer.

“We read Hamlet, the Merchant of Venice, the Canterbury Tales, and she took us through literature in a way that made it land,” Bennett says. “She taught those works alongside Toni Morrison and James Baldwin. There was just something about the way she spoke to us. Ms. Simms said I was a ‘witty elocutionist.’ She just saw something in me other people didn’t see, or couldn’t. She had a serious role in changing my trajectory.”

Thus bolstered, Bennett earned his undergraduate degree as a double major in Africana studies and English from the University of Pennsylvania, where he became involved in the competitive poetry-slam scene. Bennett did so well as a performer that in 2009, before he had graduated, he was invited to perform “Tamara’s Opus” at the White House; it is an apology to his sister for not having learned sign language sooner. Graduating in 2010, Bennett was a commencement speaker at Penn.

If that weren’t enough, Bennett also earned a prestigious Marshall Scholarship, allowing him to receive an MA in theater and performance studies from the University of Warwick, in Coventry, England. Bennett then earned his PhD in English from Princeton University. His dissertation, about the place and meaning of animals in Black literature, ultimately became his 2020 book, “Being Property Once Myself.” It won the Modern Language Association’s William Sanders Scarborough Prize.

“It really emerged from having two grandparents who were sharecroppers who met in a strawberry field in North Carolina and emphasized the beauty of that field,” Bennett says. “I thought, how is that possible? To come out of that context with a story of love and beauty. When I got to Princeton, I expected the appearence of animals in African American literature to always be about degredation, but instead what I found were writers who took animals on their own terms, as beautiful, as powerful, as annoying, as recalcitrant, and sometimes as radicals or fugitives.”

Those writers include major figures such as Richard Wright, Zora Neale Hurston, Toni Morrison, Robert Hayden, and Jesmyn Ward, among others. “I chose all canonical authors, on purpose,” Bennett says. “But that was to say, these are some of the most written-about books by African Americans, and even so, people had not written about them in this way.”

After receiving his PhD in 2016, Bennett spent three years as a Junior Fellow in Harvard University’s Society of Fellows, then joined the faculty of Dartmouth College in 2019. Two years later, he was promoted to full professor. Bennett joined the MIT faculty full-time starting in 2023.

Among other recent honors, Bennett was awarded a Guggenheim Fellowship in 2021. He also won the 2023 Paterson Poetry Prize for his 2022 poetry collection, “The Study of Human Life.”

What kind of writing?

Bennett’s prolific output, both in scholarly works and as a poet and performer, no doubt owes much to his inner drive and enthusiasm. But his ability to produce work across genres also seems tied to his flexible thinking about writerly voice. Bennett is not constrained by the idea that his writing can only take one register; he varies his approach depending upon the project.

“To me it’s all [just] different kinds of writing,” Bennett says. “I was raised around musicians, around preachers, which I think is really central, because I understood what they were doing, even if some of them were improvising sermons, as a kind of writing. Poetry, fiction, and nonfiction are all kinds of writing, so [the question became], what kind of writing is best suited to my object of concern?”

For instance, Bennett says his 2016 poetry collection, “The Sobbing School,” a complex series of explorations about sustaining selfhood in the context of violence and tragedy, is about grief; that subject matter shaped the form.

“At that moment, I thought, these need to be elegies,” Bennett says.

However, Bennett’s 2023 nonfiction book “Spoken Word,” a history of the spoken-word poetry movement, is different. It is a deeply researched book that Bennett has written for a general audience, with a fast-paced text replicating the sense of movement and novelty surrounding the growth of the spoken-word genre, its best-known venues, like the Nuyorican Poets Café in Manhattan, and the creation of competitive poetry slams. In The New York Times, Tas Tobey called it a “vibrant cultural history.”

“I wanted to write ‘Spoken Word’ like a spoken-word poem, which I say explicitly, but I also wanted it to be a history of loving accomplishment,” Bennett says. “How people have not just competed, but worked together to create a sound.”

Another motif of “Spoken Word” is that in the process of creating spoken word poetry, people have found meaning in their own lives, discerned meaning in the works of others, and established human bonds and affinities and they might not have otherwise understood.

From the poetry slam venue to his own classroom, Bennett encourages this process. Making literature is an act of human value and meaning, and helps us reflect on it, too.

“We are here to sit with beauty and discomfort the whole time,” Bennett says of his class discussions. “Some of the work we read will be from people who were imprisoned, or enslaved, and we’re reading their poems together and learning what they have to say about human life.” Of his students, he adds: “We need as many hands on deck as possible, we need as many students who care and are devoted and as imaginative as possible in the room, and we need to give them all the resources we can to produce a livable world.”

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "What If...T'Challa Became a Star-Lord?" from Marvel Studios' What If...

Salutations, random people on the internet who already scrolled past this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

You know, a lot of people lost so much when Chadwick Boseman died. His family has lost a husband and a father, his fans lost an inspiration, and to fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, we lost both a hero and a king. His performance as T'Challa/Black Panther is by far the best the character has ever had, nailing the essence of the character while delivering so much more. So with the second episode of Marvel Studios' What If... one has to ask: Was Chadwick Boseman's final performance his best, or did the series failed to honor his legacy? Only spoilers can answer that question, so be wary as we analyze the second entry into Marvel's most ambitious series.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

T’Challa himself: I enjoy that because his story has changed, so did T'Challa's personality. There's this sly cockiness that we've never seen from the character before, showing how much influence Yondu and his Ravagers had on him. And it's actually pretty fun seeing a character who was so calm and collected now act so...not that. With that said, just T'Challa is now Star-Lord, that doesn't mean he's a copy of Peter Quill.

The major differences lie in the impact that T'Challa left on the galaxy. Instead of stealing for himself, he chose to steal for planets in need as his own version of Robin Hood. And that, in turn, is a way more intriguing and compelling character to me than Peter Quill ever could be. There's just something about the nobleness of choosing to be a heroic outlaw instead of being strictly an outlaw. It proves that despite having his history altered drastically, there is no erasing that perfect and intelligent King that we all know and dearly miss. It sucks that we'll probably never see him again, but at least the last time we did it was to leave one epic impression for the fans.

Korath is T’Challa’s #1 Fan: Not what I would have expected, primarily since the character never acted so goofy, but I appreciate this change nonetheless. Because it's oddly wholesome seeing how much Korath admires T'Challa, to the point where he honestly believes that they're best friends. Also, it's funny. Like, really funny. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that this version of Korath is the funniest character in this episode. He's just too good.

It’s All Funny: Hey, we're on the Guardians of the Galaxy side of the universe. I'd personally be offended if it didn't have a sense of humor.

Yondu: Yondu seems to be the only one who hasn't changed that much through T'Challa's presence. Sure, he went straight because of it, but personality-wise, he's still the same. He still gives off the energy as this king of the idiots when dealing with his Ravagers, and you how he's this thief with a heart of gold. It's just that only T'Challa brought it out more than Peter did. Other than that, I personally don't mind that not much has changed. Yondu was already a fun character, to begin with, so I'm more than alright seeing him unaltered if it means we get to witness more of him.

The Galaxy is Better Because of T’Challa’s Influence: No, really, it is. Drax still has his family, Thanos renounced his genocidal ways, and Nebula not only remained in one piece but even has hair...somehow. It's impressive to see just how better everything turned out, and, in a way, it's also kind of funny when you think about it. Like, I wouldn't go so far as to say that the universe was in shambles because of Peter's existence...but it wasn't really better either, and I can't help my chuckles when witnessing how better off things were because he stayed on Earth.

Thanos: Not much to say here. It's fun seeing how chilled out Thanos is when he's not hellbent on wiping out half the universe. And I definitely chuckled a couple times when people called him out on his genocidal bulls**t. It's pretty enjoyable and made me glad we got to see his very surprising return.

Nebula: But this shocked me more. Korath becoming a T'Challa stan? Sure. Thanos acting as a respectful ally? Whatever. But Nebula becoming T'Challa's sexy thieve-in-arms girlfriend?! I don't think anybody in their right mind would have predicted that!

But putting aside the shock, this version of Nebula was surprisingly entertaining. It's nice seeing what she would've acted like without the tragedy as she acts like she's free as a bird but still a little devious. Although, despite having a much better life, that doesn't mean there isn't animosity between her and Thanos. He may not have torn Nebula apart as much as he did in the universe we know, but take notice of how she still has cybernetics in her left eye. That shows that T'Challa didn't get to fix everything, and I appreciate that the writers hadn't glossed over how much of a bad father the Mad Titan is, just because he's all sunshine and rainbows now. It allows a chance for Thanos to prove he really did change and gives Nebula an arc to forgive him. And while the pacing for that could have been better, it's still somewhat believable for me to get behind it. Thus surprising me even more with how not only did Nebula make a phenomenal appearance, but one that left quite the impact on the story.

The Collector: It's not just better heroes that T'Challa created. The Collector, for example, somehow became a genuine threat in this timeline instead of that pathetic dweeb in Guardians of the Galaxy and Avengers: Infinity War. This again amazes me with how T'Challa miraculously created a buff-supervillain in his universe, where Peter did jack all. Maybe the galaxy really would have been better off without him...

Howard the Duck: This is the best way to utilize Howard the Duck if you ask me. He's a character that doesn't really scream "leading character" to me (unless given the correct type of writers), so it's better to let him stick to brief cameos and occasional supporting roles. It allows a goofy type of character to shine without causing audiences to roll their eyes over the idea of a talking duck saving the day.

Wakanda Theme Playing when T’Challa Found the Ship: It's just a cool callback. That's all.

Yondu Lying About Wakanda’s Destruction: A pretty solid reveal that shows how even though Yondu loves the kids he steals, he doesn't have the best intentions. What more can I add?

The Collector’s Wall of Weapons: The callbacks are nice, but I like implications from seeing Captain America's shield and Thor's hammer on that wall. It could mean that while the universe is a better place from T'Challa's influence, not everybody made it out alright.

Yondu’s Speech to T’Challa: I'm sure these beautiful and sentimental words have some implications toward Chadwick Boseman as an actor, but I was too busy being emotional to notice them. Well done.

What Happened to Peter Quill: Ok...I think we can just stop beating Peter down for dooming half the universe. Because how much lower can you get when finding out that this other guy practically saved everything with very little effort, only for you to end up as a worker at Dairy Queen? I'd honestly feel bad if I kept doing it at this point. The poor bastard…

(Sidenote: Love the implications that the world is still in danger because Ego still gets to Peter. It shows that despite the more interesting changes, not everything turns out all hunky-dory.)

The Tribute to Chadwick Boseman: A well-appreciated sentiment to cap off a perfect episode...or what would've been a perfect episode. 'Cause ya boy's got some nitpicks!

WHAT I DISLIKED

T’Challa Being Called Star-Lord: A small thing, but the reason why Peter called himself Star-Lord was because it was a nickname his mom called him. What's even the reasoning here? Because it makes no sense when you sit down and think.

The Black Order are still Boring: Out of all the improvements we've seen, it is still disappointing that these four remain as nothing more than cannon fodder for our heroes to go through before fighting the main boss. And pathetic. Immensely pathetic. I mean, for f**ks sake, THE MAW GOT KILLED BY THE PINK GIRL FROM GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY! Psychic powers and he still goes out like a b**ch!

Thanos Got Nerfed: The guy nearly killed the Avengers, with and without Infinity Stones, yet he can barely hold his own against these people who worked for him. C'MON NOW!

IN CONCLUSION

But those were just nitpicks. Despite them, I'd still consider this episode a solid A with 9.5/10. It was fun getting to see the changes T'Challa made to the galaxy, added with some pretty entertaining moments with other iconic characters. You couldn't have asked for a better final performance from Chadwick Boseman, and here's hoping that wherever he is, he knows that he shined brighter than any star in the galaxy.

[grigori77]

2020 in Movies - My Top 30 Fave Movies (Part 3)

10.  WOLFWALKERS – eleven years ago, Irish director Tomm Moore exploded onto the animated cinema scene with The Secret of Kells, a spellbinding feature debut which captivated audiences the world over and even garnered an Oscar nomination.  Admittedly I didn’t actually even know about it until I discovered his work through his astonishing follow-up, Song of the Sea (another Academy Award nominee), in 2015, so when I finally caught it I was already a fan of Moore’s work.  It’s been a similarly long wait for his third feature, but he’s genuinely pulled off a hat-trick, delivering a third flawless film in a row which OF COURSE means that his latest feature is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my top animated feature of 2020.  I could even be tempted to say it’s his best work to date … this is an ASTONISHING film, a work of such breath-taking, spell-binding beauty that I spent its entire hour and three-quarters glued to the screen, simple mesmerised by the wonder and majesty of this latest iteration of the characteristically stylised “Cartoon Saloon” look.  It’s also liberally steeped in Moore’s trademark Celtic vibe and atmosphere, once again delving deep into his homeland’s rich and evocative cultural history and mythology while also bringing us something far more original and personal – this time the titular supernatural beings are magical near-human beings whose own subconscious can assume the form of very real wolves.  Set in a particularly dark time in Irish history – namely 1650, when Oliver Cromwell was Lord Protector – the story follows Robyn (Honor Kneafsey, probably best known for the Christmas Prince films), the impetuous and spirited young daughter of English hunter Bill Goodfellowe (Sean Bean), brought in by the Protectorate to rid the city of Kilkenny of the wolves plaguing the area.  One day fate intervenes and Robyn meets Mebh Og MacTire (The Girl at the End of the Garden‘s Eve Whittaker), a wild girl living in the woods, whose accidental bite gives her strange dreams in which she becomes a wolf – turns out Mebh is a wolfwalker, and now so is Robyn … every aspect of this film is an utter triumph for Moore and co, who have crafted a work of living, breathing cinematic art that’s easily the equal to (if not even better than) the best that Disney, Dreamworks or any of the other animation studios could create.  Then there’s the excellent voice cast – Bean brings fatherly warmth and compassion to the role that belies his character’s intimidating size, while Kneafsey and Whittaker make for a sweet and sassy pair as they bond in spite of powerful cultural differences, and the masterful Simon McBurney (Harry Potter, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) brings cool, understated menace to the role of Cromwell himself.  This is a film with plenty of emotional heft to go with its marvels, and once again displays the welcome dark side which added particular spice to Moore’s previous films, but ultimately this is still a gentle and heartfelt work of wonder that makes for equally suitable viewing for children as for those who are still kids at heart – ultimately, then, this is another triumph for one of the most singularly original filmmakers working in animation today, and if Wolfwalkers doesn’t make it third time lucky come Oscars-time then there’s no justice in the world …

9.  WONDER WOMAN 1984 – probably the biggest change for 2020 compared to pretty much all of the past decade is how different the fortunes of superhero cinema turned out to be.  A year earlier the Marvel Cinematic Universe had dominated all, but the DC Extended Universe still got a good hit in with big surprise hit Shazam!  Fast-forward to now and things are VERY different – DC suddenly came out in the lead, but only because Marvel’s intended heavy-hitters (two MCU movies, the first Venom sequel and potential hot-shit new franchise starter Morbius: the Living Vampire) found themselves continuously pushed back thanks to (back then) unforeseen circumstances which continue to shit all over our theatre-going slate for the immediate future.  In the end DC’s only SERIOUS competition turned out to be NETFLIX … never mind, at least we got ONE big established superhero blockbuster into the cinemas before the end of the year that the whole family could enjoy, and who better to headline it than DC’s “newest” big screen megastar, Diana Prince? Back in 2017 Monster’s Ball director Patty Jenkins’ monumental DCEU standalone spectacularly realigned the trajectory of a cinematic franchise that was visibly flagging, redesigning the template for the series’ future which has since led to some (mostly) consistently impressive subsequent offerings.  Needless to say it was a damn tough act to follow, but Jenkins and co-writers Geoff Johns (Arrow and The Flash) and David Callaham (The Expendables, Zombieland: Double Tap, future MCU entry Shang-Chi & the Legend of the Ten Rings) have risen to the challenge in fine style, delivering something which pretty much equals that spectacular franchise debut … as has Gal Gadot, who’s now OFFICIALLY made the role her own thanks to yet another showstopping and definitive performance as the unstoppable Amazonian goddess living amongst us.  She’s older and wiser than in the first film, but still hasn’t lost that forthright honesty and wonderfully pure heart we’ve come to love ever since her introduction in Zack Snyder’s troublesome but ultimately underrated Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (yes, that’s right, I said it!), and Gadot’s clear, overwhelming commitment to the role continues to pay off magnificently as she once again proves that Diana is THE VERY BEST superhero in the DCEU cinematic pantheon.  Although it takes place several decades after its predecessor, WW84 is, obviously, still very much a period piece, Jenkins and co this time perfectly capturing the sheer opulent and over-the-top tastelessness of the 1980s in all its big-haired, bad-suited, oversized shoulder-padded glory while telling a story that encapsulates the greedy excessiveness of the Reagan era, perfectly embodied in the film’s nominal villain, Max Lord (The Mandalorian himself, Pedro Pascal), a wishy-washy wannabe oil tycoon conman who chances upon a supercharged wish-rock and unleashes a devastating supernatural “monkey’s paw” upon the world. To say any more would give away a whole raft of spectacular twists and turns that deserve to be enjoyed good and cold, although they did spoil one major surprise in the trailer when they teased the return of Diana’s first love, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine) … needless to say this is another big blockbuster bursting with big characters, big action and BIG IDEAS, just what we’ve come to expect after Wonder Woman’s first triumphant big screen adventure.  Interestingly, the film starts out feeling like it’s going to be a bubbly, light, frothy affair – after a particularly stunning all-action opening flashback to Diana’s childhood on Themyscira, the film proper kicks off with a bright and breezy atmosphere that feels a bit like the kind of Saturday morning cartoon action the consistently impressive set-pieces take such unfettered joy in parodying, but as the stakes are raised the tone grows darker and more emotionally potent, the storm clouds gathering for a spectacularly epic climax that, for once, doesn’t feel too overblown or weighed down by its visual effects, while the intelligent script has unfathomable hidden depths to it, making us think far more than these kinds of blockbusters usually do.  It’s really great to see Chris Pine return since he was one of the best things about the first movie, and his lovably childlike wide-eyed wonder at this brave new world perfectly echoes Diana’s own last time round; Kristen Wiig, meanwhile, is pretty phenomenal throughout as Dr Barbara Minerva, the initially geeky and timid nerd who discovers an impressive inner strength but ultimately turns into a superpowered apex predator as she becomes one of Wonder Woman’s most infamous foes, the Cheetah; Pascal, of course, is clearly having the time of his life hamming it up to the hilt as Lord, playing gloriously against his effortlessly cool, charismatic action hero image to deliver a compellingly troubling examination of the monstrous corrupting influence of absolute power.  Once again, though, the film truly belongs to Gadot – she looks amazing, acts her socks off magnificently, and totally rules the movie.  After this, a second sequel is a no-brainer, because Wonder Woman remains the one DC superhero who’s truly capable of bearing the weight of this particular cinematic franchise on her powerful shoulders – needless to say, it’s already been greenlit, and with both Jenkins and Gadot onboard, I’m happy to sign up for more too …

8.  LOVE & MONSTERS – with the cinemas continuing their frustrating habit of opening for a little while and then closing while the pandemic ebbed and flowed in the months after the summer season, it was starting to look like there might not have been ANY big budget blockbusters to enjoy before year’s end as heavyweights like Black Widow, No Time To Die and Dune pulled back to potentially more certain release slots into 2021 (with only WW84 remaining stubbornly in place for Christmas).  Then Paramount decided to throw us a bone, opting to release this post-apocalyptic horror comedy on-demand in October instead, thus giving me the perfect little present to tie me over during the darkening days of autumn. The end result was a stone-cold gem that came out of nowhere to completely blow critics away, a spectacular sleeper hit that ultimately proved one of the year’s biggest and most brilliant surprises.  Director Michael Matthews may only have had South African indie thriller Five Fingers for Marseilles under his belt prior to this, but he proves he’s definitely a solid talent to watch in the future, crafting a fun and effective thrill-ride that, like all the best horror comedies, is consistently as funny as it is scary, sharing much of the same DNA as this particular mash-up genre’s classics like Tremors and Zombieland and standing up impressively well to such comparisons.  The story, penned by rising star Brian Duffield (who has TWO other entries on this list, Underwater and Spontaneous) and Matthew Robinson (The Invention of Lying, Dora & the Lost City of Gold), is also pretty ingenious and surprisingly original – a meteorite strike has unleashed weird mutagenic pathogens that warp various creepy crawly critters into gigantic monstrosities that have slaughter most of the world’s human population, leaving only a beleaguered, dwindling few to eke out a precarious living in underground colonies. Living in one such makeshift community is Joel Dawson (The Maze Runner’s Dylan O’Brien), a smart and likeable geek who really isn’t very adventurous, is extremely awkward and uncoordinated, and has a problem with freezing if threatened … which makes it all the more inexplicable when he decides, entirely against the advice of everyone he knows, to venture onto the surface so he can make the incredibly dangerous week-long trek to the neighbouring colony where his girlfriend Aimee (Iron Fist’s Jessica Henwick) has ended up.  Joel is, without a doubt, the best role that O’Brien has EVER had, a total dork who’s completely unsuited to this kind of adventure and, in the real world, sure to be eaten alive in the first five minutes, but he’s also such a fantastically believable, fallible everyman that every one of us desperate, pathetic omega-males and females can instantly put ourselves in his place, making it elementarily easy to root for him.  He’s also hilariously funny, his winningly self-deprecating sass and pitch perfect talent for physical comedy making it all the more rewarding watching each gloriously anarchic life-and-death encounter mould him into the year’s most unlikely action hero.  Henwick, meanwhile, once again impresses in a well-written role where she’s able to make a big impression despite her decidedly short screen time, as do the legendary Michael Rooker and brilliant newcomer Ariana Greenblatt as Clyde and Minnow, the adorably jaded, seen-it-all-before pair of “professional survivors” Joel meets en-route, who teach him to survive on the surface.  The action is fast, frenetic and potently visceral, the impressively realistic digital creature effects bringing a motley crew of bloodthirsty beasties to suitably blood-curdling life for the film’s consistently terrifying set-pieces, while the world-building is intricately thought-out and skilfully executed.  Altogether, this was an absolute joy from start to finish, and a film I enthusiastically endorsed to everyone I knew was looking for something fun to enjoy during the frustrating lockdown nights-in.  One of the cinematic year’s best kept secrets then, and a compelling sign of things to come for its up-and-coming director.

7.  PARASITE – I’ve been a fan of master Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho ever since I stumbled across his deeply weird but also thoroughly brilliant breakthrough feature The Host, and it’s a love that’s deepened since thanks to truly magnificent sci-fi actioner Snowpiercer, so I was looking forward to his latest feature as much as any movie geek, but even I wasn’t prepared for just what a runaway juggernaut of a hit this one turned out to be, from the insane box office to all that award-season glory (especially that undeniable clean-sweep at the Oscars). I’ll just come out and say it, this film deserves it all.  It’s EASILY Bong’s best film to date (which is really saying something), a masterful social satire and jet black comedy that raises some genuinely intriguing questions before delivering deeply troubling answers.  Straddling the ever-widening gulf between a disaffected idle rich upper class and impoverished, struggling lower class in modern-day Seoul, it tells the story of the Kim family – father Ki-taek (Bong’s good luck charm, Song Kang-ho), mother Chung-sook (Jang Hye-jin), son Ki-woo (Train to Busan’s Choi Woo-shik) and daughter Ki-jung (The Silenced’s Park So-dam) – a poor family living in a run-down basement apartment who live hand-to-mouth in minimum wage jobs and can barely rub two pennies together, until they’re presented with an intriguing opportunity.  Through happy chance, Ki-woon is hired as an English tutor for Park Da-hye (Jung Ji-so), the daughter of a wealthy family, which offers him the chance to recommend Ki-jung as an art tutor to the Parks’ troubled young son, Da-song (Jung Hyeon-jun). Soon the rest of the Kims are getting in on the act, the kids contriving opportunities for their father to replace Mr Park’s chauffeur and their mother to oust the family’s long-serving housekeeper, Gook Moon-gwang (Lee Jung-eun), and before long their situation has improved dramatically.  But as they two families become more deeply entwined, cracks begin to show in their supposed blissful harmony as the natural prejudices of their respective classes start to take hold, and as events spiral out of control a terrible confrontation looms on the horizon.  This is social commentary at its most scathing, Bong drawing on personal experiences from his youth to inform the razor-sharp script (co-written by his production assistant Han Jin-won), while he weaves a palpable atmosphere of knife-edged tension throughout to add spice to the perfectly observed dark humour of the situation, all the while throwing intriguing twists and turns at us before suddenly dropping such a massive jaw-dropper of a gear-change that the film completely turns on its head to stunning effect.  The cast are all thoroughly astounding, Song once again dominating the film with a turn at once sloppy and dishevelled but also poignant and heartfelt, while there are particularly noteworthy turns from Lee Sun-kyun as the Parks’ self-absorbed patriarch Dong-ik and Choi Yeo-jeong (The Concubine) as his flighty, easily-led wife Choi Yeon-gyo, as well as a fantastically weird appearance in the latter half from Park Myung-hoon.  This is heady stuff, dangerously seductive even as it becomes increasingly uncomfortable viewing, so that even as the screws tighten and everything goes to hell it’s simply impossible to look away.  Bong Joon-ho really has surpassed himself this time, delivering an existential mind-scrambler that lingers long after the credits have rolled and might even have you questioning your place in society once you’ve thought about it some. It deserves every single award and every ounce of praise it’s been lavished with, and looks set to go down as one of the true cinematic greats of this new decade.  Trust me, if this was a purely critical best-of list it’d be RIGHT AT THE TOP …

6.  THE OLD GUARD – Netflix’ undisputable TOP OFFERING of the summer came damn close to bagging the whole season, and I can’t help thinking that even if some of the stiffer competition had still been present it may well have still finished this high. Gina Prince-Blythewood (Love & Basketball, the Secret Life of Bees) directs comics legend Greg Rucka’s adaptation of his own popular series with uncanny skill and laser-focused visual flair considering there’s nothing on her previous CV to suggest she’d be THIS good at mounting a stomping great ultraviolent action thriller, ushering in a thoroughly engrossing tale of four ancient, invulnerable immortal warriors – Andy AKA Andromache of Scythia (Charlize Theron), Booker AKA Sebastian de Livre (Matthias Schoenaerts), Joe AKA Yusuf Al-Kaysani (Wolf’s Marwan Kenzari) and Nicky AKA Niccolo di Ginova (Trust’s Luca Marinelli) – who’ve been around forever, hiring out their services as mercenaries for righteous causes while jealously guarding their identities for fear of horrific experimentation and exploitation should their true natures ever be discovered.  Their anonymity is threatened, however, when they’re uncovered by former CIA operative James Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who’s working for the decidedly dodgy pharmaceutical conglomerate run by sociopathic billionaire Steven Merrick (Harry Melling, formerly Dudley in the Harry Potter movies), who want to capture these immortals so they can patent whatever it is that makes them keep on ticking … just as a fifth immortal, US Marine Nile Freeman (If Beale Street Could Talk’s KiKi Layne), awakens after being “killed” on deployment in Afghanistan.  The supporting players are excellent, particularly Ejiofor, smart and driven but ultimately principled and deeply conflicted about what he’s doing, even if he does have the best of intentions, and Melling, the kind of loathsome, reptilian scumbag you just love to hate, but the film REALLY DOES belong to the Old Guard themselves – Schoenaerts is a master brooder, spot-on casting as the group’s relative newcomer, only immortal since the Napoleonic Wars but clearly one seriously old soul who’s already VERY tired of the lifestyle, while Joe and Nicky (who met on opposing sides of the Crusades) are simply ADORABLE, an unapologetically matter-of-fact gay couple who are sweet, sassy and incredibly kind, the absolute emotional heart of the film; it’s the ladies, however, that are most memorable here.  Layne is exceptional, investing Nile with a steely intensity that puts her in good stead as her new existence threatens to overwhelm her and MORE THAN qualified to bust heads alongside her elders … but it’s ancient Greek warrior Andy who steals the film, Theron building on the astounding work she did in Atomic Blonde to prove, once and for all, that there’s no woman on Earth who looks better kicking arse than her (as Booker puts it, “that woman has forgotten more ways to kill than entire armies will ever learn”); in her hands, Andy truly is a goddess of death, tough as tungsten alloy and unflappable even in the face of hell itself, but underneath it all she hides a heart as big as any of her friends’.  They’re an impossibly lovable bunch and you feel you could follow them on another TEN adventures like this one, which is just as well, because Prince-Blythewood and Rucka certainly put them through their paces here – the drama is high (but frequently laced with a gentle, knowing sense of humour, particularly whenever Joe and Nicky are onscreen), as are the stakes, and the frequent action sequences are top-notch, executed with rare skill and bone-crunching zest, but also ALWAYS in service to the story.  Altogether this is an astounding film, a genuine victory for its makers and, it seems, for Netflix themselves – it’s become one of the platform’s biggest hits to date, earning well-deserved critical acclaim and great respect and genuine geek love from the fanbase at large.  After this, a sequel is not only inevitable, it’s ESSENTIAL …

5.  MANK – it’s always nice when David Fincher, one of my TOP FIVE ALL TIME FAVOURITE DIRECTORS, drops a new movie, because it can be GUARANTEED to place good and high in my rundown for that year.  The man is a frickin’ GENIUS, a true master of the craft, genuinely one of the auteur’s auteurs.  I’ve NEVER seen him deliver a bad film – even a misfiring Fincher (see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Alien 3) is still capable of creating GREAT CINEMA.  How? Why?  It’s because he genuinely LOVES the art form, it’s been his obsession all his life, and he’s spent every day of it becoming the best possible filmmaker he can be.  Who better to tell the story of the creation of one of the ULTIMATE cinematic masterpieces, then?  Benjamin Ross’ acclaimed biopic RKO 281 covered similar ground, presenting a compelling look into the making Citizen Kane, the timeless masterpiece of Hollywood’s ULTIMATE auteur, Orson Welles, but Fincher’s film is more interested in the original inspiration for the story, how it was written and, most importantly, the man who wrote it – Herman J. Mankiewicz, known to his friends as Mank. One of my favourite actors of all time, Gary Oldman, delivers yet another of his career best performances in the lead role, once a man of vision and incredible storytelling skill whose talents have largely been squandered through professional difficulties and personal vices, a burned out one-time great fallen on hard times whom Welles picks up out of the trash, dusts off and offers a chance to create something truly great again.  The only catch?  The subject of their film (albeit dressed up in the guise of fictional newspaper magnate Charles Foster Kane) is to be real-life publisher, politico and tycoon William Randolph Hurst (Charles Dance), once Mank’s friend and patron before they had a very public and messy falling out which partly led to his current circumstances.  As he toils away in seclusion on what is destined to become his true masterwork, flashbacks reveal to us the fascinating, moving and ultimately tragic tale of his rise and fall from grace in the movie business, set against the backdrop of one of the most tumultuous periods in American history.  Shooting a script that his own journalist and screenwriter father, Jack, crafted and then failed to bring to the screen himself before his death in 2003, Fincher has been working for almost a quarter century to make this film, and all that passion and drive is writ large on the screen – this is a glorious film ABOUT film, the art of it, the creation of it, and all the dirty little secrets of what the industry itself has always really been like, especially in that most glamorous and illusory of times.  The fact that Fincher shot in black and white and intentionally made it look like it was made in the early 1940s (the “golden age of the Silver Screen”, if you will) may seem like a gimmick, but instead it’s a very shrewd choice that expertly captures the gloss and moodiness of the age, almost looking like a contemporary companion piece to Kane itself, and it’s the perfect way to frame all the sharp-witted observation, subtly subversive character development and murky behind-the-scenes machinations that tell the story.  Oldman is in every way the star here, holding the screen with all the consummate skill and flair we’ve come to expect from him, but there’s no denying the uniformly excellent supporting cast are equal to the task here – Dance is at his regal, charismatic best as Hearst, while Amanda Seyfried is icily classy on the surface but mischievous and lovably grounded underneath as Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies, who formed the basis for Kane’s most controversial character, Arliss Howard (Full Metal Jacket, The Lost World: Jurassic Park, Moneyball) brings nuance and complexity to the role of MGM founder Louis B. Mayer, Tom Pelphrey (Banshee, Ozark) is understated but compelling as Mank’s younger screenwriter brother Joseph, and Lily Collins and Tuppence Middleton exude class and long-suffering stubbornness as the two main women in Mank’s life (his secretary and platonic muse, Rita Alexander, and his wife, Sara), while The Musketeers’ Tom Burke’s periodic but potent appearances as Orson Welles help to drive the story in the “present”.  Another Netflix release which I was (thankfully) able to catch on the big screen during one of the brief lulls between British lockdowns, this was a decidedly meta cinematic experience that perfectly encapsulated not only what is truly required for the creation of a screen epic, but also the latest pinnacle in the career of one of the greatest filmmakers working in the business today, powerful, stirring, intriguing and surprising in equal measure. Certainly it’s one of the most important films ABOUT so far film this century, but is it as good as Citizen Kane?  Boy, that’s a tough one …

4.  ENOLA HOLMES – ultimately, my top film for the autumn/winter movie season was also the film which finally topped my Netflix Original features list, as well as beating all other streaming offerings for the entire year (which is saying something, as you should know by now).  Had things been different, this would have been one of Warner Bros’ BIGGEST releases for the year in the cinema, of that I have no doubt, a surprise sleeper hit which would have taken the world by storm – as it is it’s STILL become a sensation, albeit in a much more mid-pandemic, lockdown home-viewing kind of way.  Before you start crying oh God no, not another Sherlock Holmes adaptation, this is a very different beast from either the Guy Ritchie take or the modernized BBC show, instead side-lining the great literary sleuth in favour of a delicious new AU version, based on The Case of the Missing Marquess, the first novel in the Enola Holmes Mysteries literary series from American YA author Nancy Springer.  Positing that Sherlock Holmes (Henry Cavill) and his elder brother Mycroft (Sam Claflin) had an equally ingenious and precocious baby sister, the film introduces us to Enola (Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who’s been raised at home by their strong-willed mother Eudoria (Helena Bonham Carter) to be just as intelligent, well-read and intellectually skilled as her far more advantageously masculine elder siblings.  Then, on the morning of her sixteenth birthday, Enola awakens to find her mother has vanished, putting her in a pretty pickle since this leaves her a ward of Mycroft, a self-absorbed social peacock who finds her to be wilfully free-spirited and completely ill equipped to face the world, concluding that the only solution is sending her to boarding school where she’ll learn to become a proper lady.  Needless to say she’s horrified by the prospect, deciding to run away and search for her mother instead … this is about as perfect a family adventure film as you could wish for, following a vital, capable and compelling teen detective-in-the-making as she embarks on her very first investigation, as well as winding up tangled in a second to boot involving a young runaway noble, Viscount Tewkesbury, the Marquess of Basilwether (Medici’s Louis Partridge), and the film is a breezy, swift-paced and rewardingly entertaining romp that feels like a welcome breath of fresh air for a literary property which, beloved as it may be, has been adapted to death over the years.  Enola Holmes a brilliant young hero who’s perfectly crafted to carry the franchise forward in fresh new directions, and Brown brings her to life with effervescent charm, boisterous energy and mischievous irreverence that are entirely irresistible; Cavill and Claflin, meanwhile, are perfectly cast as the two very different brothers – this Sherlock is much less louche and world-weary than most previous versions, still razor sharp and intellectually restless but with a comfortable ease and a youthful spring in his step that perfectly suits the actor, while Mycroft is as superior and arrogant as ever, a preening arse we derive huge enjoyment watching Enola consistently get the best of; Bonham Carter doesn’t get a lot of screen-time but as we’d expect she does a lot with what she has to make the practical, eccentric and unapologetically modern Eudoria thoroughly memorable, while Partridge is carefree and likeable as the naïve but irresistible Tewkesbury, and there are strong supporting turns from Frances de la Tour as his stately grandmother, the Dowager, Susie Wokoma (Crazyhead, Truth Seekers) as Emily, a feisty suffragette who runs a jujitsu studio, Burn Gorman as dastardly thug-for-hire Linthorn, and Four Lions’ Adeel Akhtar as a particularly scuzzy Inspector Lestrade.  Seasoned TV director Harry Bradbeer (Fleabag, Killing Eve) makes his feature debut with an impressive splash, unfolding the action at a brisk pace while keeping the narrative firmly focused on an intricate mystery plot that throws in plenty of ingenious twists and turns before a suitably atmospheric climax and pleasing denouement which nonetheless artfully sets up more to come in the future, while screenwriter Jack Thorne (His Dark Materials, The Scouting Book for Boys, Wonder) delivers strong character work and liberally peppers the dialogue with a veritable cavalcade of witty zingers.  Boisterous, compelling, amusing, affecting and exciting in equal measure, this is a spirited and appealing slice of cinematic escapism that flatters its viewers and never talks down to them, a perfect little period adventure for a cosy Sunday afternoon.  Obviously there’s plenty of potential for more, and with further books to adapt there’s more than enough material for a pile of sequels – Neflix would be barmy indeed to turn their nose up at this opportunity …

3.  1917 – it’s a rare thing for a film to leave me truly shell-shocked by its sheer awesomeness, for me to walk out of a cinema in a genuine daze, unable to talk or even really think about much of anything for a few hours because I’m simply marvelling at what I’ve just witnessed.  Needless to say, when I do find a film like that (Fight Club, Inception, Mad Max: Fury Road) it usually earns a place very close to my heart indeed.  The latest tour-de-force from Sam Mendes is one of those films – an epic World War I thriller that plays out ENTIRELY in one shot, which doesn’t simply feel like a glorified gimmick or stunt but instead is a genuine MASTERPIECE of film, a mesmerising journey of emotion and imagination in a shockingly real environment that’s impossible to tear your eyes away from.  Sure, Mendes has impressed us before – his first film, American Beauty, is a GREAT movie, one of the most impressive feature debuts of the 2000s, while Skyfall is, in my opinion, quite simply THE BEST BOND FILM EVER MADE – but this is in a whole other league.  It’s an astounding achievement, made all the more impressive when you realise that there’s very little trickery at play here, no clever digital magic (just some augmentation here and there), it’s all real locations and sets, filmed in long, elaborately choreographed takes blended together with clever edits to make it as seamless as possible – it’s not the first film to try to do this (remember Birdman? Bushwick?), but I’ve never seen it done better, or with greater skill. But it’s not just a clever cinematic exercise, there’s a genuine story here, told with guts and urgency, and populated by real flesh and blood characters – the heart of the film is True History of the Kelly Gang’s George MacKay and Dean Chapman (probably best known as Tommen Baratheon in Game of Thrones) as Lance Corporals Will Schofield and Tom Blake, the two young tommies sent out across enemy territory on a desperate mission to stop a British regiment from rushing headlong into a German trap (Tom himself has a personal stake in this because his brother is an officer in the attack).  They’re a likeable pair, very human and relatable throughout, brave and true but never so overtly heroic that they stretch credibility, so when tragedy strikes along the way it’s particularly devastating; both deliver exceptional performances that effortlessly carry us through the film, and they’re given sterling support from a selection of top-drawer British talent, from Sherlock stars Andrew Scott and Benedict Cumberbatch to Mark Strong and Colin Firth, each delivering magnificently in small but potent cameos.  That said, the cinematography and art department are the BIGGEST stars here, masterful veteran DOP Roger Deakins (The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner 2049 and pretty much the Coen Brothers’ entire back catalogue among MANY others) making every frame sing with beauty, horror, tension or tragedy as the need arises, and the environments are SO REAL it feels less like production design than that someone simply sent the cast and crew back in time to film in the real Northern France circa 1917 – from a nightmarish trek across No Man’s Land to a desperate chase through a ruined French village lit only by dancing flare-light in the darkness before dawn, every scene is utterly immersive and simply STUNNING.  I don’t think it’s possible for Mendes to make a film better than this, but I sure hope he gives it a go all the same.  Either way, this was the most incredible, exhausting, truly AWESOME experience I had at the cinema all year – it’s a film that DESERVES to be seen on the big screen, and I feel truly sorry for those who missed the chance …

2.  BIRDS OF PREY & THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN – the only reason 1917 isn’t at number two is because Warner Bros.’ cinematic DC Extended Universe project FINALLY got round to bringing my favourite DC Comics title to the big screen.  It was been the biggest pleasure of my cinematic year getting to see my top DC superheroines brought to life on the big screen, and it was done in high style, in my opinion THE BEST of the DCEU films to date (yup, I loved it EVEN MORE than the Wonder Woman movies).  It was also great seeing Harley Quinn return after her show-stealing turn in David Ayer’s clunky but ultimately still hugely enjoyable Suicide Squad, better still that they got her SPOT ON this time – this is the Harley I’ve always loved in the comics, unpredictable, irreverent and entirely without regard for what anyone else thinks of her, as well as one talented psychiatrist.  Margot Robbie once more excels in the role she was basically BORN to play, clearly relishing the chance to finally do Harley TRUE justice, and she’s a total riot from start to finish, infectiously lovable no matter what crazy, sometimes downright REPRIHENSIBLE antics she gets up to.  Needless to say she’s the nominal star here, her latest ill-advised adventure driving the story – finally done with the Joker and itching to make her emancipation official, Harley publicly announces their breakup by blowing up Ace Chemicals (their love spot, basically), inadvertently painting a target on her back in the process since she’s no longer under the assumed protection of Gotham’s feared Clown Prince of Crime – but that doesn’t mean she eclipses the other main players the movie’s REALLY supposed to be about.  Each member of the Birds of Prey is beautifully written and brought to vivid, arse-kicking life by what had to be 2020’s most exciting cast – Helena Bertinelli, the Huntress, is the perfect character for Mary Elizabeth Winstead to finally pay off on that action hero potential she showed in Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World, but this is a MUCH more enjoyable role outside of the fight choreography because while Helena may be a world-class dark avenger, socially she’s a total dork, which just makes her thoroughly adorable; Rosie Perez is similarly perfect casting as Renee Montoya, the uncompromising pint-sized Gotham PD detective who kicks against the corrupt system no matter what kind of trouble it gets her into, and just gets angrier all the time, paradoxically making us like her even more; and then there’s the film’s major controversy, at least as far as the fans are concerned, namely one Cassandra Cain.  Sure, this take is VERY different from the comics’ version (a nearly mute master assassin who went on to become the second woman to wear the mask of Batgirl before assuming her own crime-fighting mantle as Black Bat and now Orphan), but personally I like to think this is simply Cass at THE VERY START of her origin story, leaving plenty of time for her to discover her warrior origins when the DCEU finally gets around to introducing her mum, Lady Shiva (personally I want Michelle Yeoh to play her, but that’s just me) – anyways, here she’s a skilled child pickpocket whose latest theft inadvertently sets off the larger central plot, and newcomer Ella Jay Basco brings a fantastic pre-teen irreverence and spiky charm to the role, beautifully playing against Robbie’s mercurial energy.  My favourite here BY FAR, however, is Dinah Lance, aka the Black Canary (not only my favourite Bird of Prey but my very favourite DC superheroine PERIOD), the choice of up-and-comer Jurnee Smollet-Bell (Friday Night Lights, Underground) proving to be the film’s most inspired casting – a club singer with the metahuman ability to emit piercing supersonic screams, she’s also a ferocious martial artist (in the comics she’s one of the very best fighters IN THE WORLD), as well as a wonderfully pure soul you just can’t help loving, and it made me SO UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY that they got my Canary EXACTLY RIGHT.  Altogether they’re a fantastic bunch of badass ladies, basically my perfect superhero team, and the way they’re all brought together (along with Harley, of course) is beautifully thought out and perfectly executed … they’ve also got one hell of a threat to overcome, namely Gotham crime boss Roman Sionis, the Black Mask, one of the Joker’s chief rivals – Ewan McGregor brings his A-game in a frustratingly rare villainous turn (my number one bad guy for the movie year), a monstrously narcissistic, woman-hating control freak with a penchant for peeling off the faces of those who displease him, sharing some exquisitely creepy chemistry with Chris Messina (The Mindy Project) as Sionis’ nihilistic lieutenant Victor Zsasz.  This is about as good as superhero cinema gets, a perfect example of the sheer brilliance you get when you switch up the formula to create something new, an ultra-violent, unapologetically R-rated middle finger to the classic tropes, a fantastic black comedy thrill ride that’s got to be the most full-on feminist blockbuster ever made – it’s helmed by a woman (Dead Pigs director Cathy Yan), written by a woman (Bumblebee’s Christina Hodson), produced by more women and ABOUT a bunch of badass women magnificently triumphing over toxic masculinity in all its forms.  It’s also simply BRILLIANT – the cast are all clearly having a blast, the action sequences are first rate (the spectacular GCPD evidence room fight in which Harley gets to REALLY cut loose is the undisputable highlight), it has a gleefully anarchic sense of humour and is simply BURSTING with phenomenal homages, references and in-jokes for the fans (Bruce the hyena! Stuffed beaver! Roller derby!).  It’s also got a killer soundtrack, populated almost exclusively by numbers from female artists.  Altogether, then, this is the VERY BEST the DCEU has to offer to date, and VERY NEARLY my absolute FAVOURITE film of 2020.  Give it all the love you can, it sure as hell deserves it.

1.  TENET – granted, the streaming platforms (particularly Netflix and Amazon) certainly saved our cinematic summer, but I’m still IMMEASURABLY glad that my ultimate top-spot winner FOR THE WHOLE YEAR was one I got to experience on THE BIG SCREEN. You gotta hand it to Christopher Nolan, he sure hung in there, stubbornly determined that his latest cinematic masterpiece WOULD be released in cinemas in the summer (albeit ultimately landing JUST inside the line in the final week of August and ultimately taking the bite at the box office because of the still shaky atmosphere), and it was worth all the fuss because, for me, this was THE PERFECT MOVIE for me to get return to cinemas with.  I mean, okay, in the end it WASN’T the FIRST new movie I saw after the first reopening, that honour went to Unhinged, but THIS was my first real Saturday night-out big screen EXPERIENCE since March.  Needless to say, Nolan didn’t disappoint this time any more than he has on any of his consistently spectacular previous releases, delivering another twisted, mind-boggling headfuck of a full-blooded experiential sensory overload that comes perilously close to toppling his long-standing auteur-peak, Inception (itself second only by fractions to The Dark Knight as far as I’m concerned). To say much at all about the plot would give away major spoilers – personally I’d recommend just going in as cold as possible, indeed you really should just stop reading this right now and just GO SEE IT.  Still with us?  Okay … the VERY abridged version is that it’s about a secret war being waged between the present and the future by people capable of “inverting” time in substances, objects, people, whatever, into which the Protagonist (BlacKkKlansman’s John David Washington), an unnamed CIA agent, has been dispatched in order to prevent a potential coming apocalypse. Washington is once again on top form, crafting a robust and compelling morally complex heroic lead who’s just as comfortable negotiating the minefields of black market intrigue as he is breaking into places or dispatching heavies, Kenneth Branagh delivers one of his most interesting and memorable performances in years as brutal Russian oligarch Andrei Sator, a genuinely nasty piece of work who was ALMOST the year’s very best screen villain, Elizabeth Debicki (The Night Manager, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Widows) brings strength, poise and wounded integrity to the role of Sator’s estranged wife, Kat, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gets to use his own accent for once as tough-as-nails British Intelligence officer Ives, while there are brief but consistently notable supporting turns and cameos from Martin Donovan, Yesterday’s Himesh Patel, Dirk Gently’s Fiona Dourif and, of course, Nolan’s good luck charm, Michael Caine.  The cast’s biggest surprise, however, is Robert Pattinson, truly a revelation in what has to be, HANDS DOWN, his best role to date, Neil, the Protagonist’s mysterious handler – he’s by turns cheeky, slick, duplicitous and thoroughly badass, delivering an enjoyably multi-layered, chameleonic performance which proves what I’ve long maintained, that the former Twilight star is actually a fucking amazing actor, and on the basis of this, even if that amazing new teaser trailer wasn’t making the rounds, I think the debate about whether or not he’s the right choice for the new Batman is now academic.  As we’ve come to expect from Nolan, this is a TRUE tour-de-force experience, a visual triumph and an endlessly engrossing head-scratcher, Nolan’s screenplay bringing in seriously big ideas and throwing us some major narrative knots and loopholes, constantly wrong-footing the viewer while also setting up truly revelatory payoffs from seemingly low-key, unimportant beginnings – this is a film you need to be awake and attentive for or you could miss something pretty vital. The action sequences are, as ever, second to none, some of the year’s very best set-pieces coming thick and fast and executed with some of the most accomplished skill in the business, while Nolan-regular cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar and Dunkirk, as well as the heady likes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, SPECTRE and Ad Astra) once again shows he’s one of the best camera-wizards in the business today by delivering some absolutely mesmerising visuals.  Notably, Nolan’s other regular collaborator, composer Hans Zimmer, is absent here (although he had good reason, since he was working on his dream project at the time, the fast-approaching screen adaptation of Dune), but Ludwig Göransson (best known for his collaborations with Ryan Coogler Fruitvale Station, Creed and Black Panther, as well as career-best work on The Mandalorian) is a fine replacement, crafting an intriguingly internalised, post-modern musical landscape that thrums and pulses in time with the story and emotions of the characters rather than the action itself. Interestingly it’s on the subject of sound that some of the film’s rare detractions have been levelled, and I can see some of the points – the soundtrack mix is an all-encompassing thing, and there are times when the dialogue can be overwhelmed, but in Nolan’s defence this film is a heady, immersive experience, something you really need to concentrate on, so these potential flaws are easily forgiven.  As a work of filmmaking art, this is another flawless wonder from one of the true masters of the craft working in cinema today, but it’s art with palpable substance, a rewarding whole that proved truly unbeatable in 2020 …

[hearteyesbowen]

practicing lines II ☆ ricky bowen

the theatre kids suspect something is going on between y/n and ricky hours before their first performance

warnings: we love angst, some swearing, fluff, kinda long

part I, part II

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

“Don’t worry, I got you. You’re doing great, babe!” Ricky cheered behind you as his hands hovered over your waist.

It’s been a week since your shared moment at the El Ray Theatre, and you both couldn’t be separated. You tried to spend as much time together to make up for all the fighting you had for months. You and Ricky were on another mini adventure you two would like to have. Yesterday, you taught Ricky how to play the ukelele, now it was his turn to teach you something.

Ricky was teaching you how to skateboard on his street, something he’s always wanted to do with Nini but she was too scared of. You were grateful he offered to teach you, but you never thought how overprotective he would be. I mean, he basically wanted to cover you entirely in bubble wrap so you wouldn’t bruise yourself, but you only wore knee-pads. You started off slow; you practiced balancing on the board first, then you would stand on top and Ricky would hold your waist as you moved as slowly as possible. He didn’t want to let you go out of fear that you would fall off and break a bone. You managed to convince him to let you start skating on your own, with him still there to catch you when you inevitability fall over.

“Ok, Ricky, I think you can let go now.” You giggled as he wouldn’t let you go faster than walking speed.

“No can do, you’re clumsy as hell.” He argued, stopping you completely.

You shuffled on the skateboard to face him, giving him a playful glare. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me, you’re a klutz.” He smirked.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

Ricky wasted no time in attacking your lips with his. Your hands quickly tangled in his hair while his gripped your hips. You were so caught up in the kiss that when you leaned forward you tripped off the skateboard. The board flipped over and Ricky expertly grabbed your waist before you could fall, and he brought you back on your feet.

“See what I mean?” He beamed, pinching your cheek.

You rolled your eyes jokingly as you pushed his chest, grabbing the knocked over skateboard and began walking back towards Ricky’s house.

He laughed, jogging up to you and grabbed your hand, and intertwined your fingers together. “So when is the next time I can take my Gabriella on another date?”

“I don’t know, maybe you should let your best friend know what’s going on between us first before you take me out again.” You replied, giving him a nod towards Big Red’s house that we were just passing.

“You want me to tell Red what we are?” He asked confusingly. We both stopped walking and stood in front of his lawn.

“What are we?” You wondered.

“What do you want to be?” He asked in a similar tone.

“What do you-”

“Hey guys!” You heard Red scream from beside you.

You both turned your head and saw the adorable redhead close the wooden door behind him before he ran up to the both of you. As far as you knew, Red only knows that you both settled your differences and grew to be friends, but nothing else. You knew Ricky hated to keep secrets, especially from his best friend, but he didn’t know how to tell Red that he was going on dates with his past enemy. Would Red judge you two? Ricky didn’t want to know.

“What are you two up to?” Red asked cheerfully, doing a handshake with Ricky and giving you a small fist bump.

“I was teaching her how to skate so she can ride with us in the morning.” Ricky joked, making all of you share a laugh.

“That would be so cool. So when are you going to tell everyone that you’re dating now?” He asked nonchalantly. You both froze and stared at each other with wide eyes. “I mean, come on, it’s obvious you two aren’t just friends anymore. Especially after that afternoon at the El Ray.”

“Does everyone know?” You asked worryingly.

“Everyone has their speculations; some thought you hooked up, some thought you just talked to each other, and some thought you punched Ricky in the throat which is why he had makeup on his neck.” He smirked.

“Makes sense.” You and Ricky said in unison.

“I don’t think you two should be scared to show that you’re dating. You should be happy that you have each other now. Miss Jenn is going to love that news the most.” He said, giving you both a reassuring smile. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow before the show.”

Red ran back to his house, leaving you both alone to think about what he said.

“You know,” Ricky started, “I wouldn’t mind letting everyone know you’re mine. Now all the guys at school can stop checking you out.”

“People check me out?” You questioned.

“What? I didn’t say anything.” He smiled smugly, grabbing your hand again and walking back to his house.

➢➣ ➢➣

“Ashlyn, can you run ‘Breaking Free’ with Ricky and Y/N?” Miss Jenn asked politely as she quickly inspected the costumes Kourtney left on the costume rack.

It was the night of the show, and everyone on and off stage couldn’t have been more nervous. Nini and Ej were practicing their lines together, Carlos tried to help Kourtney learn the dance work that was originally written for Gina, and Seb was trying to set his makeup that Kourtney did so it wouldn’t run.

You turned to look at Ashlyn who was giving you a cheeky smile. You both rushed to the piano, giggling as she sat down and quickly warmed up. You leaned against the large instrument, soon to be met with Ricky. He snaked his arm around your waist and handed you your shared music sheets. Ashlyn noticed his action and held back her growing smile.

“Let’s begin, shall we?” She squealed.

She began to play the keys, beautifully executing all the perfect notes written in her music. She hummed along with the tune and nodded at Ricky to give him his queue.

“We’re soarin’, flyin’, there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach.” Ricky began to sing, looking directly into your eyes.

“If we’re trying, so we’re breaking free.” You sang, giving him a playful nudge.

You and Ricky continued to sing the rest of the song, earning mixed reactions from your cast mates. While they were all really excited to see that you and Ricky lost the violence towards each other, they couldn’t help but wonder what had happened, especially EJ.

You both could tell that EJ was pretty disappointed to learn that he and Nini couldn’t get the roles for Troy and Gabriella. He would have gotten over it if it wasn’t Ricky who got the part for the sole reason that he wanted to win back Nini. As for you, EJ didn’t exactly have an opinion on you until he saw how you and Ricky acted towards each other. He believed that he and Nini could have played the parts better, but he couldn’t do anything about it anymore.

“You know the world can see us, in a way, that’s different from who we, are.” You two harmonized, finishing the song.

Carlos and Seb started to clap which then erupted more cheers from your other friends, making you blush. Ricky chuckled and brought you into his chest, kissing the top of your head. The most excited to see this change in action was Miss Jenn.

“That was incredible! Your chemistry together was absolutely phenomenal! What changed?” She wondered excitedly.

“Yeah, what did happen? Less than a week ago you two were at each other’s throats. Did something go on between the two of you?” EJ glared. The rest of your friends backed away, leaving you, Ricky, Nini, EJ, Carlos, and Miss Jenn.

“I’m sorry, is there a problem?” Ricky argued, taking a step towards EJ.

EJ followed his actions and stood directly in front of Ricky, “Yeah, two people who have hated each other for months don’t just become besties overnight. This is all just an act to kiss up to Miss Jenn so she would stop getting mad at you two for fighting all the time.”

“Shut up, EJ. Just because you’re mad that I got the part of Troy doesn’t mean you have to be a dick to us too. Nini didn’t care at all, in fact, she was so happy for us. So how about you mind your business, I’m not desperately trying to ruin your relationship.” Ricky fought back.

“Anymore?” EJ countered.

Nini was quick to go to his side and squeeze his arm, “Relax, EJ, people can change for the better. You guys sound awesome together!” She cheered, giving you a tight hug and quick hug to Ricky.

“Boys, let’s stay professional, please. You can fight outside my theatre. We have a show to perform in two hours! Let’s all get our scripts and run ‘Stick to the Status Quo’ one last time!” Miss Jenn screamed to the rest of the students.

You looked up at Ricky who’s glare was set straight at EJ, who also gave a mirrored look. Ricky put his focus back on you and walked you to the hallway.

➢➣ ➢➣

Your show, the performance that took you all months to prepare and perfect, had just ended. You and your friends could not have been more happy and relieved the moment you all bowed. All of your castmates ran backstage together, laughing and crying over how proud they were of each other. You and the rest of the girls went into a tight circle for one big group hug. You all had tears forming in your eyes from looking at Gina, who had surprisingly showed up just in time to perform as Taylor. Compliments were being thrown by everyone to each other, a lot of them focused on yours and Ricky’s slightly improvised duet, making your stomach churn at the memory.

You had a different performance than you thought you would have. You thought your show was going great; you haven’t missed a line, sang every note perfectly, and not once did you get any stage fright. Then it was the scene where Gabriella meets Troy in the basketball court and you lost all confidence.

Ricky believed his show was far from perfect. He believed that once he saw his parents together again, he would perform perfectly, also because you would be there with him. Then he was lifted up into the air and all he could see was his mother hugging another man who he immediately knew was her new boyfriend, and all went downhill. He ran off stage and tried to calm himself down. He did run into you, and when you tried to calm him down and ask what happened he bursted at you to leave him alone. He was angry at himself for not telling you what happened, but he didn’t know what to do.

The girls continues to cheer for each other on their performances, but all that was in your mind was everything that happened on that stage. Anger, confusion, and embarrassment filled your head.

You watched Ricky from the side of the curtains with one of the stage managers. You couldn’t contain the smile on your face as you watched him sing and dance. Then when he was lifted in the air, you saw him get choked up. You didn’t know what changed in his actions. You wanted to go out there and help him once he got down, but he had already messed up his lines and ran out. You instantly ran backstage and bumped into Ricky.

“Hey, what happened?” You asked worryingly.

“Not now.” He grumbled.

You stood back and stared at him, “Ricky, what happened? Is there anything I can do-”

“Fuck off, Y/N. I said not now.” He screamed before running out the door.

Your heart instantly broke. All the dancers who just finished their scene were there to witness it. Kourtney ran up to you and squeezed you in a tight hug before she helped motion you to the costume rack to quickly change for your next scene with Ricky.

“Wow, so this is your real stage.” You recite as you walk to the center of the basketball court where you held your show. You held in your anxiety as you were scared to face Ricky after he yelled at you.

You stop in your tracks as you noticed EJ in Ricky’s costume, smiling widely and holding a basketball in his hands. You could have sworn you were dreaming, or that this was a terrible nightmare.

“Guess you could call it that, or just a smelly gym.” EJ joked, giving you a small nod as if to play along.

You stepped closer to him and grabbed his forearm, whispering “What’s going on, where’s Ricky?”

“You’re not the only one who’s dreading this.” He softly whispered as he tossed you the basketball. Your hands began to shake as you looked at the hoop and threw the ball without a thought. You missed the shot and EJ was quick to grab the ball, “Woah, don’t tell me your good at hoops too.”

The rest of the scene played on, and when you knew it was safe, you ran off stage and tried to look for Ricky. You ran around hopelessly, hoping you could find an answer. You met up with Nini who was getting her hair fixed.

“Nini, why is EJ out there as Troy and where did Ricky go?” You asked hurriedly.

“We don’t know what happened to Ricky, after the big basketball scene he was shaking and left for a few minutes. When I saw EJ, he told me that Ricky had to go and gave his part to him. I’m so sorry Ricky didn’t tell you.” She answered, giving you a genuine look.

You still had to finish the show, and when it was time for “Breaking Free,” you instantly wanted to leave. You smoothed out your large lab coat that Gabriella wore and met up with EJ at center stage.

He began to sing, acting as though you two were lovers, though you could notice the discomfort in his eyes. Your throat went dry and you started to feel a headache.

“I can’t do it EJ-Troy. Not with all these people staring at me.” You stuttered.

“Look at me, Gabby,” Ej put his hand on your shoulder, “right at me. Like the first time we sang together. Like kindergarten, remember?”

You heard the gym doors open and looked to the side to see Ricky and Gina walk in together. They stood next to each other and watched you and EJ. You couldn’t help but stare at them, and EJ met your gaze.

“Go, you know what to do.” He whispered as he covered the microphone as to not let anyone else hear. You gave him a nod and sped to Ricky, singing the rest of the song and bringing him along with you. Although you acted as if you were better, you couldn’t forget the anger you felt.

You snapped back to reality and shook your head. You didn’t notice how Ricky’s eyes never left you. He and the guys were huddled close to each other. Ricky tried to focus on his friends and pay attention to what they were saying, but he could only think of you. He needed you to hold him, primarily after seeing his parents show up along with his mother’s new boyfriend.

Carlos ran up to you and brought you into a tight hug. As you congratulated Carlos on performing as Chad for five minutes and writing amazing choreography for the dance numbers, you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned around to see Ricky. You let out a soft gasp ( Carlos nearly screamed ) when you saw he had bought a large bouquet of red roses and pink peonies, all perfectly bloomed and strung together.

“Can we talk in the dressing room?” He asked shyly, offering you the bouquet. You hesitated to hold them, but caved in.

“Ok.” You replied. You gave Carlos a quick hug and he squeezed your hand before you walked off with Ricky.

➢➣ ➢➣

“I know you must be so mad at me right now-”

“Wow, how did you know?” You asked angrily as you placed the flowers on top of the makeup counter.

You had found the changing room and locked the door as you didn’t want anyone to walk in on you two. Not because you two were going to do anything cheeky, but because you swore you would have slapped Ricky if he tried to apologize to you.

“I can explain.” He pleaded, trying to grab at your hands but you pulled them away from him.

“Don’t.” You started, “My god, Ricky, if I didn’t know any better I should have listened to EJ when he said this was all an act!”

“You really think that?” Ricky asked, he, himself, getting angry as well. “You think that this past week and that night at the El Ray was all fake?”

“I don’t know what I should believe because you told me you would always be there for me but you were so quick to almost leave the show without telling me what happened. At least EJ told me when he was leaving. If you could at least talk to me about what happened instead of basically telling me to fuck off then maybe I wouldn’t be so mad and would just believe you.” You screamed as you felt your face burn up.

Ricky looked at you in fear and sorrow. He didn’t know how to express his emotions well enough anymore. “Y/N,” You looked up at him and saw his lip quiver, “You know I’m so sorry about this. I just don’t know what to do.”

You could tell he was about to explode any second, “I know.” You murmured. “I just want you to talk to me. I’ll listen to everything that happened. I want to help you but you just shut me out. I thought we were past all the negative stuff between us.”

“My mom came with her new boyfriend, and she didn’t tell me but she thought it was a good idea for us to meet.” He rushed, “When I ran out after you tried to help me, she met me in the hallway outside the gym and tried to talk to me but I just yelled at her. She doesn’t realize how much this whole transition is affecting me and how fast she moved on is making me feel. It’s like she doesn’t care about my dad and I anymore.

“But frankly, I would have gotten over this whole bullshit. I don’t really care about Todd, you know? I would have gone back home with my dad and just laugh about this some other day but I’m so angry because I took out my anger on you. I was so mad and hysterical that I couldn’t be more stupid than to yell at you for trying to help me. I keep pushing people out of my life because I’m so fucking stupid. I lost Nini because I can’t express my emotions, I lost my mom because I couldn’t hold in my emotions, and I lost you because I don’t know what to do with my emotions.” He cried out.

You hesitantly took a step closer to Ricky and grabbed his face to gently wipe the tears that started to quickly rush down his heated face. You calmly fixed his hair and his collar, and he looked at you breathlessly. You pat his chest and took a small step back to look at him again.

“I’m sorry that this is happening, Ricky. You know I would have listened to you if you would have just let me help you. But you pushed me away and now I don’t know what to do.” You said.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. And I should have just told you what happened. This is all my fault. I’m literally the biggest dumbass.” He whispered, looking down at the floor.

“You are a dumbass, Ricky. You made me feel like we were back to how we used to be. I thought that everything between us was going to be good. EJ was right, I was stupid enough to think that maybe we could have been friends, or more.” You admitted.

“No, don’t say that. You’re not stupid for thinking that.” He pleaded.

“Then what am I supposed to think?” You screamed.

“I love you.” He yelled back. You could have sworn you almost tripped. “I’ve loved you ever since I heard you sing ‘Start of Something New’ for your audition. I’ve loved you since I was sick during rehearsal and no one wanted to help me, but you threw a tissue box at me because you were still a nice person. I’ve loved you since we spent that night in the closet at the El Ray and we kissed. I’ve loved you since you taught me how to play the ukelele and I helped you ride a skateboard. I’ve loved you for so long and I’ve kicked myself every day since then because I didn’t say it over my own fears. But I do, I love you. And I don’t really know what happens tomorrow, or in two minutes when we walk out that door. All I know is, I want this feeling to keep going. Because this whole experience, I-I’m not ready for it to be over. For us to be, I mean.”

Your eyes welled up with tears. Never in your life have you ever been left so speechless, not even during the show or when he yelled at you. You knew you couldn’t stay mad at Ricky, as much as you wanted to. You did love him, and even if your ego didn’t want to admit it, you did. You loved Ricky Bowen.

You closed the space between each other and grabbed Ricky’s face in your hands. You attacked his lips with yours and he almost instantly kissed you back. You felt a totally new feeling when you kissed him this time. Almost as if you released all the pent up emotions you have held in for a long time. Your arms moved to around his neck and his went to your waist. You pulled away from him and heard a small whimper escape his mouth.

“I love you, Ricky Bowen.” You gushed. His eyes lightly widened along with his lips.

Ricky smashed his lips back to yours again. His smile grew wide into the kiss and he gripped your waist even tighter to pull you closer. You played with his hair and gave it a small tug, making Ricky let out a small groan. You detached your lips from his to look at him one more time. His cheeks were a deep shade of red and his lips were swollen. He couldn’t have looked more perfect to you.

His hands went under your butt and picked you up, bringing you on top of the counter and next to your flowers. He stood in between your legs and continued to kiss you. He detached his lips from yours and started to sprinkle kisses all over your face, starting at your cheeks, your nose, and all the way down your neck. You giggled at his excitement. You brought his face from your neck and in front of you to look at him. His eyes glowed, and you both took time to catch your breath again.

“Be mine.” Ricky whispered.

“What?” You asked hopefully.

“Be my girlfriend. I promise you won’t regret it.” He pleaded.

You let out a small laugh, “Yes, Ricky.”

Ricky let out a large cheer. He pulled you back in for a tight hug and lifted you off the counter and in the air while spinning around. He kept you up for a bit and you couldn’t stop laughing from how cute he was.

He put you down and quickly kissed your lips one last time, holding either side of your face. He pulled away and held your hand, picking up your flowers and letting you lead him to the door. You unlocked and opened it to reveal Red and Ashlyn holding hands.

“Hey guys, everything alright?” Red asked with a big smile after seeing the large bouquet.

“Yeah, everything is perfect.” Ricky smiled as he looked down at you, and you gave him a short kiss on his cheek.

“That’s cute. Well, everyone is looking for you two. I’m hosting a cast party at my house tonight and we’re about to head out. We’re just waiting on you two so we can take some group photos.” Ashlyn announced.

You tightened your grip on Ricky’s hand and brought it closer to you, “Sounds great, we can go right now.”

“Awesome, and, uh, Ricky?” Red spoke.

Ricky’s attention left yours and went to his best friend. “Yeah?”

“Maybe take off that lip gloss you have on before we go out there?” Ashlyn smirked as she sent you a sly wink before walking out with Red.

You glanced up at Ricky and saw your shiny, peach lip gloss stained his lips, and you couldn’t hold in your laughter. You grabbed a wipe from the makeup counter and gave it to your new boyfriend.

“How embarrassing!” He cried out, harshly wiping his mouth.

“There will be more where that came from, babe.” You beamed.

A/N - boom, the second part to practicing lines . probably my favorite imagine that i have ! let me know what u guys think !! love y’all xx

[swanlake1998]

Article: 8 Phenomenal Trans and GNC Dancers to Follow

Date: July 13, 2020

By: Gianluca Russo

Whether through color-specific costumes, classes separated by sex, or the "traditional" view of the roles boys and girls should play in ballet, most dance students are taught that their gender determines their role in the studio beginning in elementary school. And, especially for those struggling with their own gender identity, that can cause harm and confusion. "From a very young age, I did not see myself reflected anywhere in the modern dance field," says trans dancer, choreographer, and activist Sean Dorsey. "There was a really intense message I received, which was that my body and identity don't have a place here."

Despite significant societal progress in regards to gender representation, the dance world has trailed behind, and many transgender and gender nonconforming teenagers still feel lost within the world of dance. Prominent trans and GNC professional dancers are few and far between. "Being a Black trans woman means I have to work extra, extra, extra hard, because I have to set the tone for the people who come after me," says Brielle "Tatianna" Rheames, a distinguished voguer.

But the rise of social platforms has given Rheames, Dorsey, and other trans and GNC dancers a path to visibility—and that visibility helps create community and change lives. "Social media plays an extremely big part," Rheames says. "You can't just hide us anymore." Here are eight incredible trans and GNC dancers to add to your own Instagram feed.

Maxfield Haynes

A graduate of New York University and a member of Complexions Contemporary Ballet, Haynes is a non-binary dancer with a talent like no other. Their confident voice has helped create more space for artists like them in the dance world. "I'm most proud of being able to be unapologetically myself throughout my entire career so far, and being met with success," Haynes said in an interview with Dance Informa. "It's not common for somebody who is so unapologetically queer, so unapologetically Black, to be so successful in the dance industry."

Leiomy Maldonado

Maldonado is a trans dancer and activist known as the "Wonder Woman of Vogue." Among her career highlights are appearing on "America's Best Dance Crew," choreographing Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair" music video, serving as a judge on the HBO Max show "Legendary," and choreographing for "Pose." "I love the fact that they take their time [on 'Pose'] to actually educate people on the culture and to show the importance of it," Maldonado said in an interview last month. "I love how they choose to tell the stories and how they choose to celebrate our community."

Hayden J. Frederick

Frederick, originally from Minneapolis, MN, is a GNC dancer well-versed in numerous styles. They've presented work at the Highline Ballroom, Symphony Space, and the Salvatore Peridance Capezio Theatre, among others, and are a popular teacher at Broadway Dance Center in NYC. Frederick strives to create safe spaces in their dance classes, pushing back against industry biases. "In many classes, teachers tend to separate groups by gender—boys in group one, girls in group two—and they offer choreographic choices based on gender," Frederick told Dance Spirit back in March. "However harmless the intention may be, it eliminates the existence of nonbinary folks."

Brielle "Tatianna" Rheames

Finding the ballroom community was crucial to Rheames' self-discovery. "Voguing took my mind off of the hardest things I was going through as a queer youth," she says. "It was definitely a way to liberate myself, help me find my voice, and gain confidence." Today, Rheames is a trailblazer in the industry: She's appeared on "Pose," performed alongside Cher at the Met Gala, starred in Equinox's "Life Is a Ball" campaign, and appeared in Viceland's docu-series "My House," which follows the NYC ballroom scene.

Chase Johnsey

Johnsey is one of the only professional gender-fluid dancers in the ballet world. Currently artistic director of Ballet de Barcelona, he was for many years a dancer with the drag company Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo, which he left in 2018, alleging a culture of discrimination. Johnsey made headlines again when he performed a female corps de ballet role with English National Ballet later the same year. "When I got to ENB, they wanted me to be myself," Johnsey told Dance Magazine. "Not more masculine or more feminine—they wanted me to be honest. It was liberating, but an artistic struggle."

Sean Dorsey

After starting his career in social justice as a community organizer, Dorsey discovered dance relatively late. But his intense drive and unique vision have set him apart—especially his work with his company, Sean Dorsey Dance. "I'm very blessed to be building and investing in and supporting this community," he says. "I get to have my heart and my artistic self and my batteries recharged by witnessing all of this amazing trans and GNC and queer artistry."

Darling Shear Squire

In 2019, Darling Shear Squire made history as the first transgender artist to receive a grant from the Chicago Dancemakers Forum. Shear has had an extensive dance career, working with top choreographers like Bubba Carr and Rhonda Henriksen, and is also a fashion designer and healer.

Scout Alexander

Trans dancer Alexander is one to keep your eye on. Currently a protégé with Inlet Dance Theatre, Scout grappled with his gender identity as a young dance student. "Up until about age 17, I was struggling with having to train mainly as female, because it was the only option I had," he told Pointe. "I wasn't sure if I'd be able to have a career and have this identity, because I had been told that the two couldn't coexist." But he persevered, and is now an activist for trans representation in the dance world.

[gotarcher94]

The Witcher

So I’ve watched the first season of the Witcher on Netflix and all I can say is holy motherfucking shit. That was a good season. 

I wanted to jot down a few things that I liked about the season, bearing in mind that I haven’t yet read the books and have only played the Witcher 2 and 3. I will be using spoilers so consider this a spoiler warning.

(Also this will be a long post)

OK? OK

Henry Cavill

When Henry was announced I gotta admit I had some doubts over the casting. Not because I don’t rate him as an actor but I just couldn't picture him as Geralt. My personal pick was Zach McGowan, known for playing Charles Vane in Black Sails. He had the gruff voice, he looked like the game version of Geralt, and he even had similar hair. Just dye it white and he was good. 

But having seen the show... I recant every syllable of my foolishness.  

Henry Cavill is perfect as Geralt. He perfectly embodies the White Wolf. From his sarcastic sense of humour, to the subtle emotion on his face to the conflict he has while making the decisions he does. Absolutely perfect casting.

Anya Chalotra

Speaking of perfect casting, Anya is an incredible Yennefer of Vengerberg. Like Henry she perfectly embodies Yennefer. Anya plays the evolution of Yen superbly, from her beaten down and almost broken early days to the immensely powerful and confident sorceress she becomes later, she performs both absolutely perfectly.

And to all those who say that Anya is wrong to play Yennefer because she doesn’t “look like her”.... I cannot say shut the hell up loud enough. She was incredible and deserves all the accolades that should be sent her way.

Freya Allan

And rounding out the three main characters, the show is three for three in terms of perfect casting. I loved her independent and driven nature, continuing to keep going on despite all the trouble going her way despite only been about 11 or 12 (i think, not 100%). Her strong bond with both Queen Calanthe and Mousesack is evident, despite the relative lack of screentime devoted to it. I can’t wait to see how both the character and actress evolves over the (hopefully) seasons to come.

Geralt and Ciri

I loved the “the girl in the woods will be with you always” transition in the first episode, that eventually came full circle in the finale with the two finally meeting (with the run and hug scene!). Having seen their bond fully established in the games (I know they aren’t canon) I cant wait to see it develop on screen

Queen Calanthe

Is a badass. End of story. Ruling a kingdom, fighting at the front of every battle, effectively flipping off destiny and law of Surprise and being an incredible role model for Ciri. Absolute awesome character and Jodhi May did such an incredible job playing her.

Yennefer’s backstory

As a game only fan in terms of knowing much about the characters when I went into this season, my knowledge of Yen’s backstory was pretty much nonexistent, as I can’t remember it even being mentioned in the two games I played (of which Yen was only physically present for one). However, the show delved deep into it, and I’m glad they did. It simultaneously made us empathise fully with Yennefer but also established the basis for her desire to grow stronger and be in control of her own destiny and future, and why she was then so frustrated being in the mire of courtly intrigue, not able to grow higher.

The Yennefer and Tissaia dynamic

One of the most unexpected but welcome events of the show was the dynamic that they two shared. It was not the typical mentor and apprentice relationship and I appreciated the change from the norm. From Tissaia’s initial attempts to bring Yennefer to heel before eventually being the one to tell Yennefer to unleash her chaos during the battle at Sodden was great. 

The striga episode

I mean..... just wow. As soon as they mentioned Temeria I had a feeling that it would be the striga, as it was one of the few things that I knew about from the books. And holy shit they did not disappoint. From the investigation aspect, to the fight scene, to the music. It was incredible episode and one that I cannot wait to get back to when I re-watch the series

Battle of Sodden

The main focus of the incredible finale. I had heard of the Battle of Sodden during the games but to see it was something else. A great battle scene combined great fights, solid battle plans and incredibly cool magical skills. And also,during the night scenes, you could actually see what the fuck was happening. See GoT! It isn't hard!!

Vilgevortz

As soon as his name was revealed in the episode, I’m not gonna lie but i may have gone full fanboy. I know a little from what was mentioned in the books and have read a little from other sources about his story in the books and was immensely excited when he showed up. And I cannot wait to see his story unfold on the show and see him interact more with Yennefer and meet Geralt and Ciri.

Jaskier

From what I know, calling him Jaskier (his original name in the Polish stories) instead of the English name of Dandelion was one of the problems people had with the show. And I have to ask... does it really matter? He still acts like him, talks like him, annoys Geralt like him. He is the same character, the showrunners are just honouring his roots. 

And he brought some comic relief to the series in just the right ways, especially in the djinn and dragon hunt episodes. Joey Batey was great.

Music and Cinematography 

Both of them were absolutely fantastic. Every episode looked and sounded phenomenal. I’ve been listening to a few tracks from the soundtrack that have made it onto YouTube on repeat for a while, most notably “Toss a Coin to your Witcher”. However, one track that I really liked but haven't been able to find is the battle theme from the striga fight. If anyone could send me a link to it, I would be incredibly grateful

Fight choreography 

All of the fights this season were absolutely fantastic. Both the human fights and the monster battles. Geralt and Duny vs the Cintrian soldiers, Vilgevortz vs Cahir and (my personal favourites) Geralt vs Renfri and her gang from episode 1. All of them superb and I couldn't have asked for more from the fight scenes. 

Magic

I really like the magic system they set up in this series. Not only is it incredibly diverse (with the finale alone showing us Vilgevortz constantly creating swords, Triss making poison mushrooms grow beneath the feet of the army and Coral wiping out a whole section of the Nilgaardian army) but I really like the idea that it isn't just them tapping into a great power, that there can be a great cost to performing these spells. Not something that a lot of fantasy series do.

Cahir

He was a great antagonist throughout the season and again I know little in specifics about him but I know that he is important to Ciri’s story, so I am looking forward to seeing that develop further.

Geralt and Visenna

I loved the scene of the two of them in the finale, even if it proved to only be a dream/hallucination. The “How do you like my eyes?” line legit gave me chills. Incredible acting by Henry there

Geralt and Yennefer (Yenneralt?, I think certain parts of the fandom have settled upon)

Now, as a game only fan prior to this, my exposure to the relationship between the two of them was limited, as the games only touched upon it in the Witcher 3. Before then it was told that Geralt and Yennefer had an epic love but it was very much tell and don’t show, as Yennefer didn't appear in person until the Witcher 3 and by then CDPR had developed the Geralt and Triss romance story in the Witcher 2. And I’m not gonna lie, I was fully into their romance during my playthroughs. Not that I didn't like Yennefer but I just didn't have the same basis into their bond that the book fans did. 

After Season 1, however, I am fully onto the Geralt and Yennefer ship, having seen it develop as it did.

Methinks it may be time for another playthrough, as well as buying the books.

Things I’m looking forward to seeing on the show in the future 

1. Yennefer and Ciri meeting

2. Seeing Geralt and Ciri bonding more, with some time together at Kaer Morhen

3. Thanedd Island (eventually)

4. Zoltan! 

5. Regis!

6. Vesemir!

[minaminokyoko]

A Love Letter to ‘Knives Out’

Disclaimer: This isn’t even a review. This is literally just me freaking out about what a great movie I just bloody watched and I just need to vomit words everywhere about it. Sorry in advance.

I think the best thing ever is I went into this with zero information. I remember seeing the original trailer months ago, but it wasn’t detailed. Just the short one of the premise, and to be honest, I’m not really into Whodunits. Clue is one of the exceptions and Castle is the only detective-related thing I’ve ever liked and followed religiously (up until the final godawful two seasons), so I have no predisposition to even care about murder mysteries. But then Rian Johnson dangled the juicy carrot of Chris Evans playing against type (because we all know the man is a sweetie and I can personally vouch that he’s great at hugs) and so I decided to add it to my watchlist. Then the reviews came pouring in that it was great, which surprised me, and so I decided to take a leap of faith to see if the hype was real.

Oh God, was it ever.

Y’all know me by now. I’m a hard, cynical old bitch. It’s tough to impress me, but fucking hell, I really loved Knives Out.

It’s not that it does anything new; it’s that it is a fresh, creative spin on tropes we’re used to and it’s also the strong performances that just make it a delightful film. It’s kooky and dark and offbeat. It’s charming. It’s wonderfully political. It’s irreverent. This is the niche kind of writing that I adore. It’s why I’ve loved shows like Frasier or movies like Snatch. I love the interwoven mess between the plot and the characters and everything coming to light in a big explosion.

Spoilers down below for my talking points, naturally.

I want to start with Marta, simply because I love how this movie framed the character as innocent, but not stupid, useless, or weak. I love that she had a great relationship with Harlan. I love that Harlan didn’t have any evil ulterior motives. It was simply a man who looked around and realized that he thought he was providing for his family but all he really was doing was supporting selfish, downright cruel people. That family basically just siphoned off of him and had the entitlement complex that is currently killing this country right this fucking second. It was very satisfying when he left them nothing and gave Marta the money and the choice of what to do. The final shot of the movie is genius.

Which segways into probably my second favorite thing about the movie: the commentary about the entitled upperclass versus the working class immigrant. The whole Trump debate during the party made me groan because we all just wrapped up three holidays, so I know that people were having to go home for the holidays and listen to the broken-ass logic of their Trump supporter relatives. Especially since they dragged Marta into the bullshit conversation. I LOVE the writing of having this girl who busted her ass, who listened, who was a genuinely good person, still being able to be a good person in the end after one hell of an ordeal. I loved how the movie poked all kinds of holes in the fake narrative of inheritance and immigration and patriotism. Fuck that. This country isn’t some holy land. This country was stolen from the people who were born here and then they built a fake fucking pedestal on top of the mass graves and proclaimed it theirs. Fuck that revision history and fuck the people who believe these lies. This movie is so satisfying because it’s a giant middle finger to those people and it’s a reminder that the future is these hardworking, kind people who care about society and they are the ones who have earned all the good things this country has to offer.

I also love the examples of bigotry and microaggressions that were more subtle. The WASPs in this movie don’t even realize the backhanded compliments and the truly insulting shit that they do since they’re so entitled. For example, Richard handing Marta his plate while he was arguing for Trump. That’s brilliantly done. He thinks of her as a servant while he pretends she’s on equal footing: saying one thing and yet his actions prove the opposite. There’s also Meg’s comment of “we’re his REAL family,” showing that those bastards all will smile and welcome you until the second you cease to be useful to them and then they show you just how truly ugly they are beneath those “civil” masks. When the will was read, it was the exact shitshow we all knew it would be. That was a great representation of the upper class. It’s not about being loud and racist; it’s all those subtle, hideous things they do to suppress people of color and the working class so they can stay on top where they think they belong. This narrative is powerfully woven in that regard and I really needed to hear this story in today’s climate, especially since we just started 2020 today, which could be the end of everything all over again. I applaud the writing. As a woman of color, I see this kind of shit every single day, especially now that I work in higher education, so I really hope it opens more eyes to the shit that not only immigrants but working class POC deal with on a daily basis. I likened it to Zootopia, where you came to the movie for one reason but then you were served an absolutely piping hot side dish alongside the entrée. Well done, Knives Out. Well done.

I need to give a nod to this powerhouse cast as well. I forgot Michael Shannon was in this movie so seeing him made me giddy, as I’ve always liked him since he’s so damn sinister. He’s a great antagonist actor and I almost wish he’d been given more to do. Jamie Lee Curtis did great as well.

But y’all know what’s coming. I mean, look at my profile picture. You know I have to stop and talk about my future husband’s performance.

Chris Evans as a villain.

Not only that, but Chris Evans as a GREAT villain.

Oh, God, pass me the cigarette.

We all knew from his work in the MCU that the man can act his fine America’s ass off, but boy, did I really like his role here. I compare it to Chris Hemsworth in the godawful movie Bad Times at the El Royale, because while that is one of the worst movies of the decade, it was extremely smart in casting Hemsworth in the villain role. Why? Because it sold the believable factor. Chris Hemsworth is so handsome and charismatic that he COULD in fact be a creepy ass cult leader. You take one look at that man’s chest and tell me you wouldn’t fight a smelly hippie to jump in his bed. Damn right I’d be in a Chris Hemsworth cult. Point being, Chris Evans as the handsome but cruel Hugh was phenomenal. I really enjoyed seeing everything unfold. He did such a great job. It’s all the more satisfying knowing that in real life, he’s the cutest, sweetest goofball on earth. I’m so delighted he took this role because he knocked it out of the park.

Which brings me to my next point.

I’m gonna be a basic fangirl bitch for a second here. Just hear me out.

I’d LOVE an alternate ending to this movie where Hugh didn’t do it.

I know, I know. That’s super basic and dumb and I know part of it is because I just wanted to like Hugh anyway, but it actually would be a great piece of storytelling if you changed the ending.

In this premise, Marta really did mix up the bottles and accidentally killed Harlan. Well, what I would change is that Hugh really did have a benevolent epiphany and he decides to come back to stick it to his shitass family and he figures out what Marta did and decides to help her so she’ll slip him his cut. Then the rest of the film is Hugh and Marta trying to cover the rest of their tracks so that Blanc doesn’t piece together Marta’s accidental crime. Over the course of helping her, Hugh gets to know her and they become friends, so by the time they pull it all off—mind you, I’m ambiguous in this AU, I’d be fine if the detective works it out but lets them cover it up or if they actually manage to just destroy all the evidence so he can’t convict her and he admits defeat—he’s now invested and doesn’t accept the money when she goes to pay him. Bonus points if he falls in love with her during the cover up. It’s not necessary, but I saw a couple little sparks, so I think it would be very cute if Hugh and Marta hooked up to protect each other from the horrible family and build their own empire together. But that’s me.

Trust me, this movie is brilliant as written. It doesn’t need that alternate ending. But I have to admit it got my mind churning about what a fantastic character arc it could be if Hugh hadn’t been the bad guy and he and Marta learned things about each other and formed a friendship. I’m a writer, it’s kind of a hobby, sorry. I hope I’m not the only one who thought that, but we’ll see.

I’m so glad I started 2020 with this film. It’s a rare gem. I can’t wait for it to get on DVD, because I am gonna snag it asap and watch it again. What a romp. It’s also gratifying in a petty way that J.J. Abrams went out of his way to undo Rian Johnson’s work in the Star Wars franchise and it’s backfiring majorly critically speaking meanwhile Knives Out is getting bomb ass good reviews, so good for you, Rian. Your revenge is at hand. #TEAMPETTY

I can’t recommend this hard enough. If you love murder mysteries or if you just love Clue-style quirky black comedy, please see Knives Out. It’s worth every red dime, to quote the movie.

Kyo out.

[youarewurthit]

Waiting For Her // chapter 7

Au: ceo au + ballerina au

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Fluff, angst (?), lil smut lmao

word count : 743

a/n: um im almost done with the whole series and let’s say I cringe at my writing but it’s ok I have other pics planned out to work on and hopefully it’s not as cringe 

Warning : light mentions of sex (just sum super light smut really)

After going out together a couple of times, (y/n) just couldn’t get Jungkook’s mother’s words out of her head. Whenever she would look at Jungkook she would feel guilty and undeserving, thinking why even does Jungkook want to be with her. She knows that she shouldn’t let other people’s opinions get the best of her but it’s Jungkook’s own mother we’re talking about here. 

Alas, (Y/n) decided to let Jungkook go.

It was hard seeing all the light and warmth die out of Jungkook’s eyes after (Y/n) had uttered those words. He didn’t give up so easily though, he reasoned and, hell, it almost got (Y/n). But she knew she had to call off on the relationship. 

“Fine!” Jungkook spitted out, grabbing his jacket on the way out. The flowers he brought her stood on the counter, seemingly losing it’s colour and brightness when he left. 

Jungkook cursed all the way down to his car, thinking that maybe what his mother said was right. He calmed down eventually, driving out of the parking lot of (Y/n)’s apartment complex. Hurt pounded on his heart. Why did she let me go? 

//

Jungkook waited for a full two weeks for (y/n) to reach out, for her to change her mind saying it was all a mistake. Her call never came. And so, he decided that he’ll date one of the girls suggested by his mother. 

However, after the first date, Jungkook didn’t see the point of continuing the relationship with said girl. She was pretty, slim, you know cover girl worthy, hard working even, but there was no chemistry, no spark. Her name was Jennie. She was covered head to toe with Chanel, looking as prim and proper and high status as ever. 

Despite the lack of attraction emotionally, Jungkook brought Jennie home to his bed. There was little connection between the two which was awfully expected. Everything was pure sex for release. It didn’t feel right but he wasn’t in a relationship with (Y/n) anymore. 

// 

The aftermath was awkward. With Jennie laying next to him, fast asleep, and him just looking up the ceiling of his bedroom. He looked over to Jennie, thoughts going to nights when he and (Y/n) would go on the whole night, fucking (y/n) senseless. 

(Y/n)’s got phenomenal stamina alright. Better stamina than most girls at least. The number of times he would succumb to (y/n)’s pleas and moans. His head buried in between her strong, toned legs as she pushed and pulled at his hair.

Jungkook was getting hard at the thought of her. Sighing, he got up to take care of his problem down there with a cold, cold shower.

//

It was a slow burn for the two for them. (Y/n) can’t lie but she regrets her decision of breaking up with Jungkook. If not for her actions, they would still be together. Less time with Jungkook means more time in the studio practicing, strengthening, stretching. 

Seeing how she could use her emotions for her dancing, she landed another principal role in Swan Lake as Odette. Ironically, in this production, Odette dies of sadness and betrayal in the end. She could definitely project her feelings of despair without putting in too much effort this time.

On the night of the performance, everything went well, aside from a few alterations in the steps of her variations. The orchestra laid out the music perfectly. (Y/n) danced as gracefully as ever, as tonight she is Odette. 

With every wave of her swan like arms, with every arabesque and pirouette she made was full of artistry. Her facial features contorting to those of betrayal and pure sadness. And slowly, the white swan has reached the end of her life. 

The theatre erupted with applause and hoots from the audience. Tears slipped her and there at the tragic sad ending. Little did (Y/n) know that Jungkook was in the audience watching her. He came alone. If he couldn’t see (y/n) like how he used to, he’ll just see her during her performances. He’s there to support her no matter what. 

(Y/n) stood up and ran softly towards the audience and curtsied, bowing her head. If she was not mistaken, tonight was one of the loudest applause she has ever received so far. After gazing at the audience with a smile, she exited the stage.

[golden-van-fleet]

I’ll Cover You

Summary: You and Joe met during a revival of Rent on Broadway.

Word Count: 2833

A/N: This was entirely based on a conversation I had with @starfleet-wannabe last night. We really love Joe, it’s almost unhealthy. This is easily readable if you haven’t seen Rent! Enjoy! 

Warnings: Swearing

You’d seen him before, tucked away into corners or in the middle of a crowd of people dancing in unison. You knew his name, and that he was no stranger to the stage. You didn’t know how you’d managed to find yourself on stage with him, sharing the spotlight in a revival of Rent on Broadway.

Joe Mazzello was Mark, the nerdy and shy filmmaker, engrossed in documenting the life of his fellow broke New Yorkers during the HIV/AIDS crisis. Joe fit right in with the East Village cast, his own passion for filmmaking playing a heavy role in his interest in his character. It was what made his character so like him, but Mark’s timidness was what made Joe so lovable, on and off stage.

You were Maureen Johnson. Loud. Passionate. Mark’s ex, current lover of Joanne. It was so unlike you, you couldn’t help but think during the casting process. Maureen was hellbent on getting her production to a stage, so dramatic and yet, not as unlike you as you’d once thought. She had ambition, a drive about her that mirrored your own. You’d fought hard to get to where you were, a feat you were inexplicably proud of.

For someone who claimed they couldn’t dance very well, Joe couldn’t help but watch you during rehearsals for “Tango: Maureen”. The song highlighted the tension in Maureen’s relationships as she flirted shamelessly with men and women alike. Mark and Joanne were furious, but Joe was captivated. Maureen was sexy, confident, and fierce, and it all but oozed from you as you sauntered across the stage, commanding the attention of all men and women- on stage and off.

In between rehearsals, Joe made a point to talk to you about whatever he could. You were fascinating to him, so like him and yet so different. You appreciated his efforts, his warm and inviting nature drawing you closer to him. Every day you woke up excited to work with him, and every night you went home and couldn’t wait to do it all over again.

As opening night drew nearer, you noticed that your relationship with Joe got more and more personal. Strictly professional, of course, but friendly nonetheless. He’d complimented you after a grueling dress rehearsal, leaving out the part about how long he’d wanted to say something about your performance. The director had been particularly harsh that day, which was expected, but so unnecessarily frustrating it made you wonder if the show was worth it. Joe was always there to cheer you up after a difficult day and was the one person you were most thankful for during the run of the show.

“You were absolutely phenomenal in that last run. I mean, you always are,” he corrected himself quickly, his nerves overcoming him. He was talking to you, not Maureen. He didn’t need to be nervous, but you looked so good in your costume, he wasn’t sure he could contain himself. It wasn’t anything spectacular by your standards, but to him, it was everything.

“Really? Thank you,” you said, smiling warmly at the man who was sweating bullets. “I was a bit nervous about the changes they made yesterday. Totally thought I was going to blow straight through them,” you admitted, leading the two of you off the stage and into the wings.

“If you did, I couldn’t tell,” Joe whispered, forced to lean closer to you to be heard. You weren’t supposed to talk in the wings, but with someone as captivating as Joe, you were willing to make a few exceptions. “That whole cow bit is fantastic. It’s my favorite part of the show.” Ah, yes, the bit where you mime drinking Diet Coke straight from the… cow.

You rolled your eyes, nudging him playfully. The director called for the main cast to come out on stage, halting your conversation momentarily. You had every intention of continuing it the second you were given the opportunity.

“Seasons of Love, everybody! Places!”

Joe was stuck on the end, and you were almost dead center. Despite the row of people between you, lined up in a straight line across the front of the stage, Joe still managed to catch you out of the corner of his eye.

Your emotion was raw. “Seasons of Love” was the most emotionally moving song you’d ever performed, and it took almost too much out of you each performance. A year felt so long and so short at the same time, and the past year had been so difficult for you. You’d lost a lot, loved a lot, and learned a lot in the process. Tears welled in your eyes and streamed down your face from the second the song started until the lights faded at the end of the song.

“Y/N! That was incredible!” The director cheered, the entire cast facing you, sheepishly wiping tears off your cheeks. You hadn’t had a solo, those were for Joanne and Collins, so your best guess pointed to your reaction to the song. It moved the director to tears, something you hadn’t noticed until you met his eyes. “I think we can call that a wrap for today. Rest up tomorrow, and I’ll see you back on Monday!”

Joe was the first person you saw when you turned back towards the dressing rooms.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Make it all seem so effortless,” he said, almost exasperated.

“I channel as much pain into it as I can manage for the day and cry the rest into a glass of wine when I get home,” you deadpanned, picking up your bag. You couldn’t help but laugh when you saw Joe’s expression, concerned and helpless. “I’m kidding. This past year was so difficult for me, and I use that for this song. The rest of the show is just stepping out of my comfort zone and hoping I’ll make Idina Menzel proud.”

“I’m sure you already make her proud. I heard she’s coming opening night,” Joe shrugged, packing up his own things.

“Really?” You tried to curb your enthusiasm. Honestly. And to anyone else, knowing that the original actress both in the original cast on Broadway and in the film adaption of your current role would be in attendance would probably scare them shitless. But you were so excited, you knew that each Maureen would bring something different to the role, and you tried to avoid comparing yourself to her and the other actresses that came before you.

“Yeah, I think so, anyway. Hey, are you doing anything after this?” Joe asked, holding the door open for you as you left the theatre. His heart pounded in his chest as he awaited your answer.

“I was planning on going home and running through “Over the Moon” one more time, but that can hold off until later. What’d you have in mind?”

It was dark out, but both of you were illuminated by the lights so characteristically New York City that you couldn’t tell if his cheeks were pink because you were interested in his offer or because of the lights surrounding you.

“I was going to order takeout, but would you want to go get dinner with me? Not as a date,” he added quickly. Too quickly. It stung a little bit, hearing him shoot it down almost immediately. Your heart sank a little, but you put on a brave face before agreeing.

“Sure, I don’t see why not. Where did you have in mind?”

A couple blocks and about ten minutes later, you found yourself sat in front of Joe in an obnoxiously red leather booth in a tiny diner. It was so endearing it was sickening. It was like you dove headfirst into the setting of Grease. Which, by the way, Joe quickly found out was one of your favorite movies.

Joe sat with his chin in his hand, watching you speak with unwavering attention. Everything you said had such a passion behind it, your hands unconsciously gesticulating as you got more and more excited when you spoke. It was adorable.

It was then you realized that you really, really liked Joe. It was akin to a schoolgirl crush, the way his smile made your heart rate increase and when he spoke your name it was like only the two of you existed at that moment. You were crossing into the danger zone, and you knew it. Relationships between actors in the same show felt wrong, what with the cast being such a family, and they were advised against to avoid animosity when it came to breakups. But what would it hurt if you were just testing the waters?

Unbeknownst to you, Joe had already fallen into said waters headfirst. Hell, he’d drowned at this point. He knew it was a bad idea, he knew better, he knew to keep it professional. And he did the best he could, given the circumstances.

He tried to attribute the softness in your eyes to you being friendly. You tried to attribute his attentiveness to you to the way he was raised. You both tried your hardest to ignore the ache in your chest when you saw the other with someone else, sitting just slightly too close or smiling just a little too wide. It was a dirty little secret, sneaking glances when the other person wasn’t looking and returning them because, in reality, the other person was looking right back at them. It was flushed cheeks hidden under stage makeup, an appropriate metaphor for your relationship if you could call it that.

Opening night came and went off without a hitch. The cast met up for dinner following the show, a celebration to kick off the eight-month run with this same cast. Joe was glued to your hip the entire night, and you to his. Eight months felt like such a long time with the rest of the cast but didn’t feel like nearly enough time with Joe.

Mark and Maureen had the strained relationship of ex-lovers, while behind the scenes you and Joe had the strained relationship of something that was meant to come to fruition. Joe wished you good luck with a sincere “break a leg,” and a kiss to your cheek every night. You returned it, and you were the first person to congratulate him on a show well done in the wings with a tight hug, your arms thrown around his neck.

One night, one random Thursday night, the whole dynamic changed. Instead of his kiss landing on your cheek, you’d turned your head in surprise and his lips landed on the corner of your mouth. Instead of recoiling, as a best friend should have, you took his face in your hands and placed the gentlest of kisses to his lips.

“If you’re going to kiss someone good luck, you have to do it properly,” you mused, before making your way to the wings to start the show.

The entirety of the show that night was a blur, and although his performance was spectacular to everyone else in attendance, you knew why he was in the headspace he was in. You cursed yourself for it, retreating to your dressing room as quickly as you could before he could find you. Of course, he found you.

Three soft knocks on your dressing room door had your palms sweating and your heart rate rising. God, you’d outdone yourself this time. You’d really had to go and screw it all up, huh?

“Joe.”

“Y/N, what the fuck was that?” He was fuming. He’d fought so hard to keep himself from holding onto you too long, to keep himself from kissing you, to keep himself from daydreaming about you being his for too long to allow you to ruin his progress. He dreamt of waking up next to you and calling you his, it was all he wanted, but he knew he couldn’t have it. And that infuriated him.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have kissed you, it was stupid and I wasn’t thinking, and I know it bothered you because I know you and I know how you act and you weren’t you tonight, you were just Mark, and, I’m sorry,” you rambled, tears starting to form. “I was selfish and didn’t take your feelings into consideration.”

“This is our job, Y/N.” He closed the door behind himself, closing off the world from your conversation. It reminded you of that night in the diner, now ages ago, and the stark contrast to it made you sick. “I had to tell myself that our relationship is strictly professional every night for the better half of a year now. I’ve wanted you since I saw you at the first rehearsals, and I want nothing more for you to be mine, but we can’t sacrifice our professionalism for it.”

“And you don’t think I’ve been telling myself the same thing? I know how you look at me because I look at you the same way. Every time you think I can’t see you staring? I feel you looking at me. So forgive me for compromising our professionalism when you’ve been right in front of me this whole time, sending me signals like a fifteen-year-old.” You seethed, angrily scrubbing what was left of your makeup off with a makeup wipe before turning back to face him.

He was stuck. Here you were, laying your heart on the line for something so taboo that you’d worked so hard to earn. You wanted him just as desperately as he wanted you.

“Fuck it,” he whispered, grabbing your face and pulling your lips to his. It wasn’t pretty. The first couple of seconds were all teeth and tongue before both of you relaxed into each other, finding a rhythm between you. You were the first to pull away, your forehead resting against his. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” you mumbled, your thumb brushing against his bottom lip. “Looks like the rest of the world is just gonna have to get over it, huh?” You teased, as Joe cracked a small smile.

“Yeah, I guess they are.”

The cast saw it coming from the first day. You and Joe were inseparable from the start of dance rehearsals, as you’d had a number of scenes together and had to tango together in “Tango: Maureen”.

“Are they ever gonna admit to each other that they’re hopelessly in love with the other?” Claire, who played Joanne, whispered to Adam, who played Angel.

“Not until they admit it to themselves,” he snickered back, the two of them watching the two of you watch each other with the human equivalent of heart eyes. So when you finally came clean and admitted to being a couple, the rest of the cast told you it was about time.

You ended up being nominated for a Tony for your role in Rent. Joe assured you that you deserved the award, that you would walk away with it that night. He was right, of course.

“I found a lot of myself in Maureen,” you started, feeling like a fish out of water. You found Joe in the audience, his eyes shining with admiration. In him, you found your composure. “And I did everything I could to channel myself into her. To understand her. Everything I’ve done up until now has led me to this. This is beyond my wildest dreams, and I want to thank my wonderful director and co-stars for creating such a nurturing and loving environment from which we could all grow. And to Joe, this award is just as much mine as it is yours. I have you to thank for the motivation to continue on. I love you.”

You walked off stage before realizing what you said. It was your first “I love you” that just so happened to be broadcast around the world. Joe welcomed you back to your seat with open arms.

“I love you, too, congratulations,” he whispered into your ear before letting you go to sit back down.

While you waited and prayed to every god you could think of to bring Joe into your life, you never imagined it would end up like this. All of the heartaches were worth it as you looked at the man who brought you nothing but joy. He meant the world to you, and despite playing bitter exes during the show, something deep down told you your relationship wouldn’t end like theirs.

I think they meant it when they said you can’t buy love,

Now I know you can rent it, a new lease you are my love.

“I’ll cover you,” he whispered, a smile playing at his lips at his song reference, pulling you into a sweet kiss. You smiled against his lips, relaxing back into your seat when you parted. Rent taught you to make the best out of your situation, and judging by the look on Joe’s face, you did just that.

[michalwu]

Best of 2018 in TV

Another year passed and again I watched a lot of good quality tv. I think that although again it was very hard to choose my top 10 this year was a little bit less intense than previous. Still I had to do a short list of places 20-11 because I couldn’t resist not to mention a few more productions. That said remember I’m not a critic. I watch thinks I like not because I have to and this list is totally subjective though I tried to be fair. I watched over 50 series from 2018 and that’s the results:

20-11 (in random order)

The Affair (season 4), Atlanta (season 2), Homecoming, ACS: The Assassination of Gianni Versace, Killing Eve, One Day at the Time (season 2), Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, Maniac (season 2), Legion (season 2), AHS: Apocalypse.

10. Anne with and E (season 2)

I never was a huge fan of the book as a kid but I read it as mandatory lecture in primary school. But I am a huge fan of this series. Beautiful placement of the plot plus very talented young cast with leading Amybeth. The best part of the story for me always was the dynamics of Anna's relationship with her adopted parents.

9. Patrick Melrose

What an absolutely outstanding trio of actors: Benedict Cumberbatch, Hugo Weaving and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Plus another young talent this year Seabstian Maltz who as a young Patrick is giving one of the most dramatic performence of the year. Creators did justice to the novel.

8. The Deuce (season 2)

This was one of the most enjoyable series this year. I love the period it shows and since the first season I started to develop a sympathy for all those characters especially for Candy. Too bad the series seems to be forgotten this year by critics. In my opion it came back in a lot better shape than last year. It’s funnier, it’s faster and the whole fuss around making porno adaptation of Red Riding Hood is just captivating.

7. Sharp Objects

Another great limited series and another proof of my love to the craftsmanship of brilliant Jean-Marc Vallée. The story from book was kinda predictable and tacky. But thanks to the director who is an expert of showing emotions and dilemmas from the past plus the cast of three great actresses made it into phenomenal work. I am really looking forward to see more projects from cooperation of Mr. Vallee and HBO because so far it brings only true treasures.

6. Barry

I was always a fan of Bill Harder on SNL and his (usually) small roles in comedies. So then I found out that he’s making his own show I kept my fingers crossed for the success. And the results are better than expected. Barry is a great combination of drama and comedy. It sound like things we see lately very often but Barry is the best mix of two this year (not to mention animated series). Why? Because drama is real (he’s a seriall killer with many very hard moral choices to make) and the comedy provided (mostly) by Henry Winkler is just a poor gold. Well done.

5. The Haunting of  Hill House

I’m not a big horror enthusiast but I do have a soft spot for those stories in classical form. And what’s more classic than beautiful, old, and huge haunted house. I fell in love with this series and it’s so much better than the previous movies. This one is actually very far from the original story written by Shirley Jackson but it capture the atmosphere the best. Separation of episode focusing on different from five siblings was a great idea. From non-believer to the most affected of the kids the story became more and more intense and scary. I honestly was scared almost the whole time. Still I tried to play with creators and watch for all  the hidden ghosts in the background. The secret of Bent Neck Lady was haunting me for a while and even after finishing the series it all stayed with me in my mind. This was my favorite new series of the year. I’d love to see it again in other form, maybe as anthology like AHS. With this cast yes please!

4. GLOW (season 2)

It’s so nice today that we can get such a smahing tv show this such a huge female cast. I love this series and those Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling since season 1. I always enjoy it when show or movie takes me to another peroid of time and GLOW blend us into into that reality of 80 like nothing else. We had so many exctiting things this season with Debbie becoming single mother after divorce, Sam Silvia trying himself as a father and the whole team becoiming more and more like a crazy family (recording of intro in the mall was amazing). In real life I’m not really intrested in wrestling (like at all) and though it probably differs a lot than reality I loved those duels bethween characters. Episode Mother of All Matches is one of the best in 2018.

3. BoJack Horseman (season 5)

Oh how I love this show and this character. And before anyone judge me I don’t love BoJack for being a walking disaster and misery. I love this character and many other on the show for the incredibly smart writing. He is a alcoholic, narcissus and washed-out tv star and that who he is. Just like Priness Caroline is an ambitious woman who will give up many things for career even if she know it won’t give her happines in the end. But that’s the greatest thing about this show and creators that they won’t change those characters and put them in unexpected positions just to get the wow factor from the viewers. They still find  a way to present those persons in fresh and captivating way but making it “in” the nature of the character. And that’s the fift season so congrats! And still we can count on them to give us some real gems like episode Free Churro which is a masterpiece of writing. The thing is this season of BoJack doesn’t stand out in specific way from other but it gives us the thing it always did and never disappoints - crazy rollercoaster ride.

2. Mozart in the Jungle (season 4)

When I said at the beginning that this list is totally subjective I meant it inter alia because of this series. Mozart IS my favorite tv series. I don’t know if the best but it always gave me the most joy when watching it adn that’s a pretty good determinant. Unfortunately I will have to start saying it WAS my favorite because Amazon cancelled series after this season. I’m still mad and disappointed because GoT is about to end so all platforms grab the money to invest in “next huge thing” (in case of Amazon it’s new Lord of the Ring..yeah we need it). But don’t get me wrong. I didn’t put Mozart this high because I’m mad and or to mark someone’s mistake. I just really loved this season. Placing the plot in Japan was bull’s-eye move. Rodrigo De Souza (favorite tv character next to Leslie Knope) as a boyfriend of Hailey was hilarious, a much as observing her way to become succesfull and independent artist. The scene when she debuts as conductor with piece “Hi” is maybe my favorite moment in whole season. Even stronger is her performence at the finale. Although I rooted for Hailey and Rodrigo as a couple I’m glad that creators didn’t go into cliche with their relationship. Another strong scene is the on at traditional tea ceremony. Of course as always the whole season was very firm from the music side (this series helped me to discover a little piece of classical music and I’m grateful for that). I will really miss this series. I think it could easily do another season especially now when creators decided to end this season in such an interesting place. Too bad...

1. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (season 2)

There’s nothing to explain... but I will ;) I compared all the series with each other and in my opinion there was nothing better that Mrs. Maisel this year. I enjoyed it last year but I didn’t even expected how much delight will it be to have it back. Visually it is the most beautiful thing in tv right now. And the writing as always is case of Amy Sherman-Palladino is just excellent. Those characters are so fast and wit it’s just a pleasure to observe them interact and discuss with much to many words and refrences than any normal person would use. And those actors really take it like a champs. All episodes in Paris was nice but it was nothing compre to Catskill where it felt like watching dirty dancing but with much better and more interesting story. I love the way Palladino direct her characters. How they develop especially Midge, her friendship with Susie and her realisation that stand-up comedy is not only the thing she want to do but it is something she will do for the rest of her life. Every time she stands in front of audience, camera or father himself she proves to be nailer and we as audience live for those moments! I really enjoyed see her parents in Paris as we could discover totally different side of them both and also new romance of Midge. But my favorite sequence of the season was Midge watching Lenny Bruce (Luke Kirby is so on point with this role) in last episode and realising it all (inconspicuous scene but made me waste a few tears). At the end I will add that I love the attitude towards the children presented in this series...irrational like many other things.

*******

Suming up in my list dominant are HBO and Netflix productions but in the end two first places go to Amazon.

Comapring with previous year there is no sign of Legion in top 10. Well season 2 was good, sometimes even great but not enough to get into the top. Beside there’s less new series on the list (seven in 2017, four this year) but we had some amazing comebacks.

I don’t have huge disappointments this year, maybe just a few. 1) Romanoffs were boring as hell and I really counted on Weiner. 2) Cancelling of many good series like Mozart in the Jungle or Daredevil. 3) Riverdale became so absurd that it beats and law of logic. I mean why it gotta be so intense?

[salmankhanholics]

★ Salman Khan claims he's confident about Bharat: My stardom will fade away but that hasn't started yet!

Jun 04, 2019  It has been 31 years and counting. Salman Khan remains on top of the Bollywood game and at the peak of his stardom. As the critics and opinion makers try to unravel the mystery of his ever increasing popularity, the actor wears it light and appears baffled himself. Excerpts from his interview:

How difficult it is for a superstar like you to maintain his stardom?

It will fade away. It's a huge task to keep it going for such a long time. After a point, every superstar’s film does not perform as well and their collection comes down to 8-10 per cent. That will toh happen with me as well but I don’t think it has started yet (smiles).

But you still give the younger brigade of actors a run for their money whenever you appear on the silver screen.

I still don’t know what fans see in me. The kind of films I do are like those I have grown up watching. I used to react to those films the same way my fans react to my films. When my film plays on screens and fans enjoy, I feel I am watching with them and that I am watching what I would want to see myself.

Recently, Akshay Kumar said that he will be able to do action films maybe till he is 56-57 years of age. What about you?

Not too long I guess, another 30-35 years max (Grins).

Bharat will hit the screens in a few days. What is your feeling about the film?

The trailer and songs are good. It has a huge canvas. It’s been shot really well. Action, thrill, comedy, romance and all that stuff is there. But the main reason why this film was done is its plot. Here, a nine-year-old boy has been given the responsibility to take care of his mother and three siblings. There is a father, who promises to return. From the age of nine till 72, he has done everything to see that everyone stays together and his siblings get married and settle down. His journey shows it all.

It is being said that the character reflects your personality. You too have always supported your family and friends.

(Smiles) Actually, it is just the opposite. They always support me. I need the support.

Is Bharat your best film ever?

Every film is my best film.

Are you nervous?

If two-three films don’t do well, I may get nervous. So far, it’s been good. It was said that Race 3 did not do well, but it did Rs 170+ crores.

Heard that you narrated the story of Bharat to Sooraj Barjatya first?

Yes, I had narrated this subject to Sooraj Barjatya, and he made an amazing suggestion for the love story. I told Ali (Abbas Zafar, director) that he (Bharat) should not get married to her (Katrina Kaif’s Kumud). It just deviates everything. If he has his own family then what about his mother and siblings? Also, what about his focus on his father?

Which is your favourite Bharat look?

The character of the older one is awesome. He has humour, anger and swag.

Do you think your fans will accept it?

I have always been told that a hero has to have long hair. Whenever an actor’s hairline recedes, his career takes a backseat. In Tere Naam, I took my hair off and that look was accepted.

Ali says that you are a versatile and phenomenal actor but people do not look at you that way because you do not talk seriously or intellectualise your acting skills like others, who say, "I isolated myself.." or "I didn’t sleep for two days to prep for the role"

(Cuts in) But as it is I don’t sleep much, I sleep for just two to three hours and it is not because I work hard on my characters in the night. I paint, I write and I watch TV. I have this habit when I watch TV — if something is already going on it, I don’t change the channel. I get upset when somebody comes and changes the channel. Even if it is the Tata Sky homepage, I keep watching it. Then somebody comes and changes it. If cricket is going on, I watch it though I don’t understand much. If some South channel is on, like Raj TV, I watch it. The most dangerous thing nowadays is web shows. I finish four-four seasons in one go.

Which one are you watching these days?

I was watching Game Of Thrones but I stopped. I watched till the fourth season. Then there was a break, so I couldn’t see the whole thing. Then I watched Vikings. It’s outstanding. I finished Taboo. Then there was a show called Arrow. I like watching period stuff. I watched Peaky Blinders. Now I want to watch Money Heist. There are three-four more web shows that I would like to watch.

Do you take suggestions from your family?

Yeah, from my sisters! The day before yesterday, I heard the climax of Game Of Thrones from my sisters. They told me who killed whom and all of that.

You are producing something for the web space, right?

Yes, there is something in the pipeline. We are also producing a lot of content for television like The Kapil Sharma Show and Nach Baliye (Season 9).

Will you feature in any of the web shows you are producing?

No. But our Indian sensibilities are different, so we need to make web content keeping that in mind. I started TV because a lot of friends — with whom we cannot work in films — are big names on television. I started TV because of that, not to make money. We started to give more and more employment to directors, producers and actors.

Have you watched the Baahubali movies?

I watched Baahubali: The Beginning but could not watch Baahubali 2: The Conclusion. So I don’t know who killed Katappa (laughs). By the way, I won’t mind if you give me spoilers. Even if you tell me the whole story, I will still watch it.

How did Katrina take your comment about her winning the National Award for her performance in Bharat?

She thinks I am joking about it. She told me, "You have been saying National Award and everybody thinks it is a joke, and that I may not get it." I told her I was serious about it. But she says the way I have been saying it, people might think I am joking. I really think she truly deserves the National Award for Bharat.

Do you think Katrina was the right choice for Bharat, and not Priyanka Chopra?

Priyanka was very keen to do this film. Initially, Ali and we thought that it was Katrina Kaif's film. But she had just done Tiger Zinda Hai with me. Straight after Tiger Zinda Hai, doing another film with me did not make sense. Moreover, Ali said it was the role of a Hindustani girl. I said, ‘It’s strange. Katrina is your friend. You have worked with her on multiple projects.' I asked him if Katrina herself did not have the confidence to pull off a Hindustani role. I mean, she has been living in India for the last 20 years. I told him, ‘Don’t be ridiculous. She has done so many films like Raajneeti, Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani. Just because she has recently done films like Bang Bang, she won’t be able to play an Indian?’ It was ridiculous!

But then Ali said Priyanka had called him up and wanted to do this role. Priyanka and my sister, Arpita, are good friends. After that, the 'Nick story’ happened. She chose to get married, which is a very bold, brave and amazing step to take. She did what she wanted and Katrina got what she deserved.

Your films are panned by critics but loved by audiences. What do you have to say about critics and movie reviews?

These are the negative people. What to expect from them? It does not matter to me what they will say about me and my film. At times, they will give my film five stars, the other time minus five. They don’t understand anything. Even if their reviews affect 10-15 percent of the audience and people don’t go to watch it, that 10-15 percent less income makes a lot of difference to the poor producer. Films are not cheap to make. Films are not made in Rs 1 crore today. My film, Maine Pyar Kiya, was made with the budget of Rs 1.11 and it was the highest budgeted film at that point of time. The scenario is not the same anymore. Today, even the smallest film is made with Rs 25-30 crores. So you need to recover that money. Write reviews, but don’t be irresponsible. Don’t make fun of somebody’s work. Let the audience go and watch it. It may not make any difference in my life, but there are people who get affected by it.

When are you starting Inshallah?

Inshallah, Inshallah will start soon.

[artofdigression]

I’m 23 years old.  The 2 years leading up to now have been a complete whirlwind, but somehow, in this time, an actual music career has begun.   I’m a composer, a producer, a singer, a songwriter, a visual artist - among many labels.

I sit in front of my piano.  I know how to play all of 2 pieces - Gnossiennes 1 & 2 by Erik Satie.  I learned them by ear 4 years ago while working the reception desk of an art gallery that had two baby grand pianos hidden underneath the stairs.  I would get bored when no one else was in the gallery and venture down.

In my studio, I have piles of introductory music books, minuets and ballads laying around - some given to me at a young age, some passed down by dead relatives who knew I had a ‘good ear’  - or were maybe too dead to give a shit about where their old sheet music went by the time I got my hands on it.

I decide, for what feels like the 100th time, that I will learn how to read music.  

I had my first piano lesson when I was 10 years old.  My piano teacher was nice - a young, lanky, 20-something music student who wore beanie hats and played electric guitar in a rock band.  I thought he was pretty much the coolest and wanted to be him.  Unfortunately, I don’t think he was particularly ‘stoked’ in the same capacity to work with me.  I had very little enthusiasm for any of the mind-numbingly boring rudimentary theory curriculum, the limited repertoire I had to choose from (away in a manger or… the other version of away in a manger) made me want to rip my hair out, and reading sheet music would send my mind into kaleidoscope-vision.

I would also have kaleidoscope-vision in school. I struggled with school.   I was a rambunctious little human.  My attention span was uncontrollable (unless we were reading or drawing, then I absolutely paid attention). Looking over old report cards, there was a lot of ‘needs to stay on task’  and ‘could use help with organization’  - anecdotal pieces of advice I heard so much, I think the meanings eventually became hollow to me (or maybe the meanings were just hollow to begin with).  

Getting me to sit still for 30 minutes was an excruciating feat for any adult in my life, so 2 hours? 3 hours? 6 hours? Good god, I wanted to climb the walls.  When the teacher would start talking, I would look past their gaze - into Lala Land as adults disdainfully called it.  (I still deeply hate calling it Lala Land, but, for continuity purposes, we’re going to reclaim the name in neon lights.)

Lala Land was great.  Real life?  Not so much.  In real life, from third grade until high school graduation, my teachers (with the exception of 3 gems) were blatantly judgemental of me.  They’d think nothing of admonishing me in front of my peers if I fidgeted or looked out a window.  

Because the amount of physical energy I had was not conducive to a classroom environment, I learned to dissociate from my body.  Because looking out a window meant I was not looking at a chalkboard, I learned to look past the chalkboard to find Lala Land, its neon letters burning behind my absent gaze. Past the letters, there would be a window. I could look out the window and its glass panes could evaporate and autumn’s leafy gusts of wind could sweep me away and I’d never have to worry about a messy desk or a missed assignment or classroom of judgemental eyes looking at me again.  The next day’s fantasy would be the same, but different.

Children’s imaginations are often playful and fantastical.  Take a kid with a traumatized brain, however - and imagination can give them a seemingly supernatural ability to create, in their mind, what they need for emotional survival.  That was me.

There were parts of my childhood that were truly blissful, gorgeous, hilarious and nurturing.  But I’d be denying you, dear reader, important context if I didn’t tell you that a significant part of my young formative years was steeped in grief, chaos and abandonment.  I assure you need not build castles in the air in understanding that I was a child with a traumatized brain.  And though I was surviving, trauma had created a faceless, nameless internal chaos for me that I didn’t truly even recognize until adulthood.  Trauma changes the way brains function. That’s a lot for a kid to be dealing with.

In piano lessons, my teacher would sit with me and we would go over the theory of a piece of sheet music - that was my brain’s cue to look past the kaleidoscope paper, nodding “yes, mhm, got it.” But then, when he’d clap the rhythm of the piece, my brain would engage and I’d clap the same rhythm back, no problem.  After that, he would play the piece for me as an example - this was where my brain would hyper-focus.  I would retain, retain, retain, and I would play the piece back, not reading a note, but looking past the page all the same. This wasn’t a ploy to dupe him. This was a system of which neither of us were consciously aware. I was just 10, and playing piano.

Outside of school, I was different.  I was encouraged to sing, I would go to my parents’ choir practices every week and sit in the pews of Saint Mary’s Church and listen to 30 voices reverberate through it.  I would shoot the shit with adults and carry around books about Roman mythology and Egyptian hieroglyphs and I would talk about how I wanted to travel the whole world and I would make 1-page comics and I would dress up my dog and I loved the ballet costumes from Stravinsky’s Firebird and… I digress.  

Outside of school, I was different. Music calmed my internal landscape enough for me to be myself.  No - actually, music calmed my immediate surroundings enough for me to make sense of my internal landscape… Actually, both.

On a borrowed piano, I would sit and endlessly ear out songs (Carmen, movie soundtracks I liked, songs my mom sang, etc).  I would walk into my Saturday lesson and proudly showcase the self-taught triumphs of Sunday through Friday for my teacher, only to be met with a brief pat on the back and the god-damn sheet music to 'away in a manger’ - which I still hated and still couldn’t read, but played anyway.  After 5 months, I eventually made it clear to all parties involved that I was done with piano, and my parents finally gave into my weekly protests.

When I was 7th grade, I started playing french horn in the school band and, for whatever reason, continued for 6 and a half years.  I still saw through a kaleidoscope when I got a piece of music, but there was one other french horn player in my class so I usually copied what she did - Unless we had different parts in which case I fumbled constantly through band practice until I finally figured out what I was playing.  Band, generally, had a negative impact on my relationship with music.  I think the only reason I stuck with it was because the feeling of playing music with such a large group of people triggered some kind of dopamine rush that my brain loved.  I would get ASMR - auto sensory meridian response - also known as “that fuzzy, warm, calm feeling in the centre of your brain” - some folks experience it and some folks don’t.

A lot of changes in my home life happened in that 6-and-a-half-year period.  After years of week-on, week-off pivots between my mother and father’s separate homes, my father permanently moved to Sweden when I was 13.  My mother became my primary parent while dealing with the loaded blows of bankruptcy and multiple reckonings around her own life challenges.  We moved into a home that had completely gutted walls and plywood floors (left unfinished by previous tenants with renovation goals too ambitious to finish).  The situation was chaotic.  So, so chaotic.  But, from that time up to now, my mother was (and continues to be) an incredible support to me.  She could see that I was struggling, and did everything in her power to advocate for me when I couldn’t advocate for myself.  I can only imagine the feeling of knowing something is not right with your child and being told by everyone around you that your child is fine.  Her support was integral.

When I was in 9th grade, she and my homeroom teacher (also a phenomenal support to me at the time) pulled some strings to have an initial psychological assessment performed on me - not technically “official” - as it was conducted by a student of psychology, I recall - nevertheless, it provided enough insight to validate that there was an underlying dissonance between what most of my teachers were saying about me (lazy, bad attitude, etc) and what was actually going on in my head, and that a formal assessment would be necessary to help me. My name was put on the waiting list for a psychologist that year.  But, the entire island had only 1 or 2 psychologists available (Totally appalling).  And so I waited... And waited... And waited...   And while I waited, I continued to find refuge in my visual art practice, as well as learning other instruments on my own terms.  

I refuse to say something cliche like “art  and music saved my life” because creativity isn’t a sustainable singular lifeline for anyone, and believing so feeds into the highly problematic mental health stigma as it pertains to those who create for a living...  But art and music did play key roles in tempering my inner storms.  Now, as a musician, I allow my craft to be a teacher, not a therapist.

When I was 16, I went to my first voice lesson.  I kept at it for a year, and… excelled? I totally excelled - personally and musically. This did wonders for my confidence (I attribute a lot of that to my voice teacher at the time, who had a really supportive and receptive approach to my weird energy levels and the idiosyncratic ways I learned). I did festivals, took a Royal Conservatory exam - and I was still excelling, which honestly shocked me at the time because I was so used to failing everything.  

Oh, also, I could still barely read the music.  Kaleidoscopic forever.  

Many classically trained musicians describe the experience of being overwhelmed when they get a new piece of music (especially if it has theory components they may not be familiar with or something) - totally normal. But then, they concentrate, deconstruct it from the page section-by-section and eventually learn to play it with neurotypical grace. Deconstructing written music on the page to understand what was happening became a little bit less nauseating as I was exposed to it more.  I WORKED at theory and understood parts of it, but only… theoretically.   Being able to transcribe that (limited) understanding into playing?  That never happened for me.  The page would remain kaleidoscopic until it felt like my brain was just going to short-circuit and cave in on itself.  It was weird, and trying to describe to anyone in band class (teachers and students alike) made me feel like I was on a different planet.  So, when the heat was on (whether that was in performance or in private lessons or “sight singing”) I kept relying on my ears and refined my ability to hold my own in band concerts, private voice lessons, choirs, musical theatre productions.  

Meanwhile, in high school, my academic life was still basically the worst.  I had adversarial relationships with nearly all of my teachers. I barely passed each year.  Emotionally, I also had a lot of anger seething below the surface of my consciousness.  I had internalized so much of what so many teachers had told me - that I was smart but lazy, that I had a bad attitude, that I was disruptive, distracted, manipulative etc.  - and having gone through some pretty drastic events that effectively destabilized my home life, this all had a profoundly negative impact on my self-worth.

One year later, I was 17, in 12th grade and school issues had not gotten any better (still muddling through - grades between 40% and 60%).   I had just given up at this point… Except now, instead of having the teachers before, who were mostly unhelpful, but at least straight-up about being judgemental of me based on my “laziness” diagnosis, I had a haul of teachers that were giving me these new weekly out-in-the-hall John Keating-wannabe-motivational speeches, telling me how much “potential I have” and how “I’m wasting it away” by “not trying” in class (every hollow pull-up-your-socks/nose-to-grindstone idiom in the book.  It was infuriating at the time).  I’m sure most of them just wanted to help.  But I needed someone to listen more than I needed someone to talk at me.  

A helpful thing that DID come out of 12th grade (4 years after my name had been put on the list… shoutout to our provincial government for still not caring about investing in public mental health) was that I finally got access to a provincial psychologist.  She came during the second semester of grade 12 and did extensive testing on me to find (surprise! but… not really) ADHD - which explained the colossal difficulties I was having in my academic life due to my chaotic brain not letting me get my shit together in the ways I was being told by neurotypical folks around me to get my shit together.

For those that aren’t informed about ADHD - it’s a form of neurodivergence that can manifest in too many ways to name here, but to fit an elephant in a minivan:  There’s that part of the brain that naturally helps you regulate your attention/concentration/sleep/energy levels/appetite/feelings/working memory/pretty much anything remotely involving executive functioning… That’s nice, right?  I wouldn’t know because apparently mine’s broken. There is also extensive research that directly links ADHD to childhood trauma, as well as biochemical imbalances in the brain.  

I could get all in-depth about ADHD science right here, but this is my story, not an essay,  and it would make for an even longer and more digressive tangent that would likely overshadow THE OTHER SIGNIFICANT THING the psychologist noted in my evaluation.

Amidst a bunch of my brain skills that were, statistically, above average for my age - like my working vocabulary and ability to retain auditory information - many of my visual processing skills - meaning, things like reading something and copying it down accurately or following written instructions without constantly needing to reference them - were shockingly below average for my age.  The tests showed that this was something my brain had immense difficulty doing.  

What’s an example of a visual processing issue in school? Well, I was always the last kid to finish copying text from the board (and I mean, like, multiple paragraphs behind my peers) before the teacher could move on to the next page.  

What’s an example of a visual processing issue in music?  Reading written notes and playing them on an instrument.  When I heard a piece of music, however, I could learn it very quickly.  

Knowing what was going on in my brain brought me a whole world of clarity and validation.  I knew that I was going to lead an unconventional life because of it (whatever “a conventional life” means these days).  I knew that most post-secondary education would be inaccessible to me as a result of my grades and probably be, at that point, more harmful than helpful.  

Knowing what was going on in my brain helped me to understand what I didn’t need anymore.  I didn’t need the validation of my teachers or my peers.  I didn’t need a number on any piece of paper to determine my competence or ‘work ethic.’  

Letting go of school was the best thing I’ve done for myself.

I graduated high school with nothing but a 64% average, and an ADHD diagnosis as my only tools in understanding how to get on a path to thriving as an adult human.  liberating. frustrating. terrifying - but not really. mostly liberating.

Then, my ADHD became manageable and my life got easy and I had no self-esteem issues ever again.  

… No.  That’s not how life works.  I’m 23 years old. I’ve been out of the school system for 6 years. I have deeply instilled productivity guilt (ie. I take on way more tasks than humanly possible to finish in ridiculously tight deadlines), I struggle with anxiety in thinking that friends and coworkers are saying negative things about my personality or quality of work behind my back (maybe my exes and high school math teachers are hanging out?? THE HORROR), my heart sinks into my stomach anytime any human watches me work over my shoulder (I’m a music producer, so if I’m working on songs with people, I become a blundering internal wreck when they understandably want to see what I’m editing). School did those things to me - which leads me into the accountability part of this long-winded ADHD realtalk.

I’d be withholding the truth from you if I didn’t say my teachers played key roles in aggravating my behavioural/emotional/learning difficulties by disputing them as personality flaws.  My frustration in learning would be met, at worst, with punishment and put-downs (I remember not having recess for nearly an entire week somewhere in the first half of 4th grade - which I think is a cruel thing to do to any child, let alone one with energy levels like mine).  I would be met, at best, with more hollow, invalidating advice - more ‘need to stay on task’ with a twist of ‘gotta give it yer all’ and ‘well, maybe if you actually tried…’

None of these messages sent to me were helpful.  I’m still working to unravel those knots.

This is not a dig at those teachers who saw me as the problem child (rather than seeing me as a kid who just needed support and a different work environment. There were about 3 teachers in 10 years who understood that, and did everything in their power to help.  They know who they are and I’m grateful for them.)  I understand how frustrating it is to be pushed to your limit - especially within the bounds of a job that requires you to keep your shit together in some capacity.  I understand that we that we all do our best with the tools we have at the time.  There are no hard feelings - But, I encourage self-reflection and future accountability for your impact on the way you treat any child in your life - because they are just that: a child.  Your impact can be profoundly helpful or harmful.  You will never know what a child is going through until they feel safe enough to tell you.  I didn’t feel safe with many adults - which is why most of my relationships with authority were adversarial ones.  I’m not offering a solution.  I’m just offering a glimpse into my experience.  That’s all this is.  Take it or leave it.

When a child is told again and again by the daily authoritative figures in their life that they have an attitude problem, that they are disruptive, lazy, manipulative, attention-seeking, a liar, a cheater (the list can go on but I won’t let it) - I guarantee you, the child will eventually believe it.  And I did.  I deeply internalized these labels to the point of identifying with them.  I’m still working hard as an adult to remind myself that while many of my teachers accused me of causing chaos in my learning environment, I was simply (and unknowingly) mirroring my own internal chaos.  The chaos I had created around me was a cry for help, not admonishment.  

To further the accountability segment of this experience I’m sharing with you, though I can’t offer a solution to “fix” the institution of public education (because institutions generally don’t function unless they’re flawed to begin with), I think a set of solutions may lie somewhere within trauma-informed and neurodivergence-informed teaching and the public school system being provided with the adequate resources to embrace neurodivergent students - to embrace traumatized students, not accommodate them.  I think a set of solutions may lie somewhere within mental health being taken seriously (with FUNDING, not lip service) by the Government of Prince Edward Island.   That’s all I’ll say for now.

I don’t think my experience is special - far from it.  In fact, I know that my experience is not, and never will be one-of-a-kind.  I started writing this when I sat in front of a piano and tried to do what my brain would never let me do.  I looked past the page and saw this part of my life staring back at me.  I’m not even a writer, but I felt like I had to write it down.   Looking back, I realize that I didn’t even begin to understand my own story until someone else told me theirs.

So - whether you’re a teacher or a student or both - if you’re struggling in the school system, this is dedicated to you.  If you have been turned away and invalidated by those supposed to help you, you need to know that the labels placed upon you only hold as much power over you as you allow.  Being pained by what you can’t control doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a survivor.  Surviving is hard. Surviving is so hard, but you will begin to heal.

I’m 23 years old.  I’m many things. I read music with my ears.  I’m mastering the art of looking past what’s in front of me.  

- Russell Louder

[chelsie-fan-55]

Downtown's Phyllis Logan and friends face mid-life crisis in new ITV drama Girlfriends With long, natural, wavy hair, actress Phyllis Logan could not be any more different from the prim and proper Mrs Hughes of her Downton Abbey days. But it has been two years since she graced those stately halls and is no longer trussed up in corsets. Phyllis has moved on. The 61 year old is starring in new ITV drama Girlfriends, brainchild of In The Club writer Kay Mellor, who saw a gap in the market for a show portraying women of a certain age and their struggles and difficulties. Phyllis takes on the role of Linda, whose husband Micky mysteriously goes missing while they are on a cruise to celebrate their anniversary. She has to deal with both the emotional and financial fallout of his disappearance with the support of friends Sue (Miranda Richardson) and Gail (Zoë Wanamaker), who have their own battles to fight. What is striking about this show is that not only are women centre stage, rather than being bit parts compared to the men in their lives, but they are older, wiser and dealing with it together. This is something that Phyllis believes is still relatively unseen on TV today. “We are still mothers and grannies but principally it is us just being women,” she says emphatically. “Usually you’re tagged on being someone else’s appendage, be it a mother, an auntie or, you know, a wife, in the background, so it is nice to be right up there in the foreground of it all and the men are the add-ons as it were. “There are great parts for men in it, too, of course, because it’s by Kay Mellor, but it’s lovely to have three main women protagonists. “This is why it was so exciting to read it because it was very much… women of a certain age and it is all about them and their struggles in their lives and their highs and their lows. But at the root of it is them, their friendship which binds them all together and they come to each other’s aid when times are getting tough. And they do [get tough].”  Phyllis is happily married to actor Kevin McNally, best known for his role in Pirates Of The Caribbean, someone she has described as a “good mate” as well as a partner. She had never believed she would marry a fellow thespian but the two met on the set of drama Love And Reason in 1992 and wed in 1994. Their son David was born in 1996. Before Downton, Phyllis was known for her portrayal of Lady Jane Felsham in Lovejoy in the 1980s, Monica in Mike Leigh’s hit Secrets & Lies and her 1983 Bafta-winning performance of Another Time, Another Place. With a career spanning decades the phenomenally successful actress is perfectly placed to comment on women’s portrayal on screen. So have things changed at all? She picks her words carefully and sighs, “Hmmmm, there is more… well… I don’t know. I have been doing this a very long time. It was always thus that men get cast and their wives generally get cast 15, 20 years younger and that’s still quite… So I suppose that hasn’t changed much.  “But I think maybe there are slightly more for women over 50. People have discovered that they’re actually quite interesting and they still have a viability and a sexuality about them and an attractiveness or whatever. Maybe people are beginning to cotton on to that, I hope. And there is a market for it definitely.” Born in Paisley, just outside Glasgow, Phyllis may seem an unusual choice for Yorkshire lass Linda, but Kay Mellor had the actress in mind right from the beginning. The character is as close to the writer’s heart as it is possible to be, based on her best friend since she was three years old. The real “Linda” and Kay met on their first day of school and they still see each other every week, living close to each other. Kay credits her friend with keeping her grounded in the midst of her success and she wanted Girlfriends to not only show that authentic, deep relationship we can only have with our oldest confidantes, but the unique struggles that are prevalent today. She describes people of around 50 as the “sandwich generation” – women who are simultaneously caring for small grandchildren and their own elderly parents. The characters between them deal with age discrimination, divorce, financial problems, difficult children and demanding parents. They’re stretched to their limits and on the verge of breaking, which is where their support system comes in. Phyllis believes many viewers will relate to the characters, including some of her own girlfriends. “I suppose it is that thing with all the characters. I mean we have got Gail, who is looking after a grandchild and a mother who is going slightly off the rails, and I can look at so many of my girlfriends who have got to that stage now where they have got ageing parents. "That becomes a worry but you still have to look after small grandchildren. I can relate very much to that and in Linda’s case her kids have flown the nest so there is a bit of an empty nest syndrome going on there. She doesn’t have that responsibility any more, so yeah I can identify with all of that.  “I’ve got a few friends who have been there throughout various things in my life… and they always will be. I’ve known them forever. You do pick up new young friends. I’ve got some young friends now, which is quite nice actually, but there are always stalwarts who will be there forever and have been since you were a young teenager. So it is nice to have friends like that.” Some of those new young friends were undoubtedly found during the six years that Phyllis worked on the hugely successful Downton Abbey. Her character Mrs Hughes was the head housekeeper at the stately home, a kindly but strict figure to the younger maids and serving girls. Her relationship with butler Carson captured the hearts of the nation with its reserved romance and Mrs Hughes quickly became a fan favourite. As many as 7.4 million people tuned in for the finale on Christmas Day 2015, with a further 10 million in the United States. Downton’s success on both sides of the pond can only be described as a whirlwind, but when asked about the show Phyllis seems pleased to have a new challenge to take on. “I don’t have to wear corsets for a start so that’s brilliant,” she laughs. “I mean period dramas are a different thing altogether. Much more leisurely pace but to a stultifying point really. This is fast. It is fantastic.” Girlfriends is on Wednesday at 9pm on ITV.

[asdamagicbiscuits]

My Top Theatre Highlights and Moments of 2020 (in no particular order other than roughly chronological.)

This year has definitely been unlike any other but let's dive into the goods shall we!

My Birthday Book Of Mormon trip and Gin Tour

The first adventure of the year saw me head to the Beefeater Gin Distillery and have a tour with a tasting of a few gins in their range. It was really lovely there and the room where all the stills were blew my mind to pieces. I couldn't believe that it was in London and the sheer size of their production. It set up the day really well for my trip to the theatre to see Book Of Mormon in London’s West End for my birthday. It’s one of those shows that is hilarious, with phenomenal performances from the entire cast. It ended a fantastic birthday in London.

Book Of Mormon Cast Change and Phantom

Now I was in London for the Book of Mormon Cast Change and I had a free afternoon. I wasn’t sure what I was going to see, I had no solid plans so was going to see where I ended up. Naturally I ended up at one of the longest running shows in the West End and saw the matinee show of Phantom. Wowzers. This was my first time seeing the current London company and it was so great to see so many familiar faces and some performers I hadn’t seen in the show yet. It was incredible to see Georgia Ware as Meg again, she’s a stunning dancer and the voice of an absolute angel. She’s really made Meg her own and gives such a great performance. You want to keep an eye out for her name as I know great things are gonna happen for her! Josh Piterman as the Phantom. HOLY SHIT THAT MAN CAN DELIVER A PERFORMANCE! Honestly from start to finish I was captivated. GORGEOUS vocals. Brilliant acting. So for anyone who hasn’t seen the show (spoiler alert) the Phantom sings his last line in the show and walks over to the chair for the last bit of magic in the show. Josh finishes singing the last line and whilst he’s walking over to the chair the entire audience bursts out into applause, and I’m not talking polite applause. Oh no. It’s the kind of applause you do when you give a standing ovation. (which I very nearly did!)

I’ve seen Phantom over 60 times and in all my visits I’ve never experienced anything like that. It was thoroughly deserved and Josh is just incredible. My biggest regret is that I only saw him once. The atmosphere during a company’s final performance together at cast change is always electric and such a buzz of energy which feeds through to the audience. The Book Of Mormon cast change was no different. It was such a fantastic performance and the company were phenomenal!! It was so great to see Luke George on stage again and it still blows my mind that it was the last time I saw him on stage this year.

Stephen Rolley was on as Elder McKinley and it was my first time seeing him in that role. He did a brilliant job, comic timing was impeccable, a stunning vocal and the acting was on point! A masterclass in theatre performance.

Les Mis - Leo Enjolras

Now this was actually my second visit to the new production of Les Mis at the Sondheim Theatre, having seen the show towards the end of January. Buckle in for my thoughts as this is gonna be long! Okay so that score of Les Mis I know so well. The original production is so ingrained in me I can tell you what is happening during what piece of the music.

Seeing the new production felt like seeing a friend I hadn’t seen in years. They were the same at the core but they looked a bit different. I really enjoyed some of the changes they made and it was so great to see everything from so close. The set was really great, I loved the transition from the beggars into the factory during At The End Of The Day. The new production is very visual with the sets, a lot of work has gone into them and they are gorgeous.

The whole company were absolutely fantastic and all did a wonderful job in the show. I really loved the changes they made to Fantine’s story. The Factory Foreman is now Fantine’s first customer and her story is much more violent and harsh, which makes her already heartbreaking story even more sad.

It was great to see Carrie Hope Fletcher as Fantine, I was really surprised by her performance. Having see her as Eponine so many times I just couldn’t picture her in the Fantine track. She took such great care of my favourite character and absolutely blew me away with her performance. I Dreamed A Dream was absolutely breathtaking. Acting was brilliant, vocal amazing. Flawless performance! This visit was to see the lovely Leo Miles don that red waistcoat and lead a revolution on the West End barricade, he covered the role on the UK tour but I wasn’t able to get in and see him in the role. I can’t tell you how amazing it was to see Leo on stage again and to see him in the iconic role of Enjolras from the front row was incredible. I was so engrossed from the moment he stepped on stage through to the last note he sang in the finale. The acting, the interaction with the other people on stage and of course the vocal, were all flawless. I hope 2021 brings me another opportunity to see Leo in the iconic red waistcoat of the revolution.

We Will Rock You Tour

Now I saw the London production many years ago when I was in college so I was really excited and curious to see how it would translate on tour. The tour was fantastic, the cast were incredible. It was the best last show of 2020 I could have asked for (even if I didn’t know that at the time) It was so great to see Jenny O’Leary on stage again as Killer Queen, such a deliciously villainous performance in the best possible way. Ian McIntosh was phenomenal as Galileo, powerful vocals! I Want To Break Free is one of my favourite parts in the show and he nailed it. I was really lucky to get to see first cover Scaramouche (I’ve lost my programme so unable to name her. Sorry) she blew me away with her entire performance. Another gorgeous vocal. Her and Ian stole the show with Pressure (another of my favourite songs from the show)!

Before I sign off I just want to give a massive shoutout to all the artists in the industry who have brought the arts into the homes of many during this pandemic.

So that wraps up 2020’s Theatre Highlights and whilst it wasn’t quite the spectacular start to the new decade I was hoping for, I still feel very lucky to have seen what I did.

Of course with everything I was supposed to see this year now happening next year, 2021 is gonna be so jam packed full of spicy Theatre adventures and I CAN’T WAIT!!

It’s been a very weird one this year for the industry. For me, Theatre is escapism from the real world. It’s a place of solace and of healing. Theatre is 100% therapy, a place where for two and a half hours, it can save even the most lost of souls. 

These past 9 and a half months have been hard. For everyone, but especially for an industry which seems to have been forgotten.

Theatre is so ingrained in me as a person that it feels like part of my soul is missing.

I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to have a small part of the world I love during this whole shit show. My singing lessons have been the biggest godsend ever and I’m so thankful for my singing teacher being flipping amazing!

Until that time when theatre fans, performers and staff alike can set foot and return to the place many call home, I think the world will be a less welcoming place.

As always, thanks for reading gang.

Make sure to come back next year to find out what I got up to! In the meantime, stay safe, stay healthy, don’t hoard loo roll, keep smiling and until next time, cheerio! 

[gardnerkathryn1993]

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Most cats are interacting, and then fixing it.I wasn't sure of a bowl and litter box, so avoid that emotional change and they will not damage the flowers.Your cat does when you're not satisfied with a certain area, it nevertheless lays claim to reduce, retard or remove pet odor/staining, but you have none of our misery.We got through one bag every day and its carrier, ensure that your cat to your home.Obviously diseases and other insects and so they could make one of the litter box and will help you deal with it to make brushing cats very easily.

Ever wonder why they become well acquaint with one before you plan to have really caught on with pepper.It is depending on the market these days to a vet for a cat!I found that most multiple cat household but the kinds that don't clump are fine to reward good behavior with a sheet.Thorough cleaning of the cats out of kittenhood or just lose interest in chewing on it.Also make sure to reward her with treats constantly.

Keeping your cat by giving her attention needs to balance itself on a particular area, then there are some ornamental plants that repel cats.While you might never see a veterinarian.As cats are playful but will very quickly start to second-guess their instinct to jump and automatically land on their own.They get a prescribed medicine from your life.This may be better than the number one concern of all cats.

Cat Pee Out Of Leather

However you will also display thrusting of the house, but there is one of the spray bottle.Welcome back to a trusted veterinarian for performing this minor surgery so that it is important that you belong to her, not him!If you have to provide emergency medical assistance if needed.It is important that your cats natural instincts during training is an enjoyable past time to adjust to its noise, but powder is acceptable.Alternatively, you may feel that they do not like automatic litter boxes.

Although the most complaints and arguments about because so far from the front of the time, from the carpet.These products take into account when choosing fabrics and rugs.Another option is to remove cat urine odor and dirt.But, for this, they may not be compared to what your cat seems to get along, they generally avoid the area.Be careful to keep urinating in inappropriate areas.