#just block and move on. block and move on
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"you, specifically, are a bad and evil person that all my posts are written to condemn" this is not what i said. i'm sorry for not being clearer. i just feel like everyone in this space, not just you, look down on people who live in the first world as people who willingly don't change anything about how the world works when it's just not that simple. i know you all love to combat this and say otherwise but it will never change the simple reality that for some people it really is very hard, if not impossible, to do anything politically, for a variety of reasons. i'm disabled, i live in a remote part of the country, and i'm bad at talking to people. i don't have the money to just move to a population center or get lessons on how to speak to people. i can't do anything and i feel like every time you or one of the other communists on tumblr talks about the imperial core, i feel like i, personally, am being held to an unreasonable standard that i would not hold anyone else to, if i were in one of your situations. obviously i want things to change. i don't want genocide to be a thing that's constantly happening, i don't want my country to have its tendrils dug into every other country, i want socialism and eventually global communism, and if i could do anything meaningful-- anything at all-- to achieve those goals i would be working on that. but right now that just is not the case for me, and i feel like i'm not alone in that either. i just wish you had like a smidgen of empathy for some of the people living here who don't fit into your stereotype of what a member of the imperial core looks like-- i'm not even trying to say that sarcastically, it genuinely feels like you all don't see us as human. like nyanguard especially seems to think of us as incapable of saving ourselves, and one of the reblogs to my first ask just said they "like to imagine that (i'm) crying as i type this". how am i supposed to react to that? is this how all of you feel about people like me? would your feelings about me change if i lived in another country, or would you find some other excuse to talk down to me? is it really just the country i live in that's the problem, here? i'm not trying to accuse you, i'm asking this question genuinely.
i know it's tempting to respond to this with a snarky comment but please just try to understand where i am coming from. i really am willing to help if i can.
i don't think any marxist seriously has a political theory of imperialism that amounts to "citizens of the imperial core simply choose not to do anything because they are all individually bad people". i mean the whole point of marxism is that economic relations are the ultimate drivers of historical change, not abstract psychological or moral qualities of people.
i'm sympathetic to your situation! the imperial core is a very atomizing place to live, and there are places and situations where there's just no practical path to getting organized and taking meaningful political action in the near future. however, your problem here is:
i feel like i, personally, am being held to an unreasonable standard that i would not hold anyone else to
nobody is posting about you, personally. like at the end of the day you have to learn to either not take posts like that personally or just block everyone who makes them to manage your own time on the computer vis a vis niceness--i don't think it's the responsibility of me or any other communist to constantly provide asterisks and carveouts that we're not talking about the Good Ones Who Have Extenuating Circumstances when we talk about the usa and its material political base.
& in the same way that you ask for empathy for your situation i would ask you to extend a level of understanding to people whose homelands and countrymen and communities have been devastated by US coups and sanctions and invasions, that they have as much a right to express the rage and fury and hurt of that cultural legacy as you do to express your own sadness about your own situation. imagine, for example, how you would feel if your grandparents could not reliably get medicine because of us sanctions. & of course the correct target for these feelings are not random usamericans--but these posts are also not serious politcal platforms, they are venting from people who live their lives under the weight of empire.
if you think what they're saying is unfair to you, then you need to develop the ability to say 'well, i understand why they would feel that way' and move on. like i understand why you are upset, and i don't say this to be dismissive, but as real advice: it is not fair (especially to bloggers from the global south) to essentially rest your happiness and self-worth at their feet and demand that they validate you.
genuinely, i hope this helps. it's all i really have to say on the matter.
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This! This is what people need to remember! Especially with ships! Just block and move on if it's a problematic ship
Fandom PSAs
Dontâ Like, Donât Read
or DL; DR
You are responsible for curating your own online experience.
If something upsets you, makes you angry or queasy or triggers you, stop reading/looking at it. Avoid things that might make you feel that way.
Learn to use the Sort and Filter function on AO3, especially the Exclude tools.
On social media, block and mute accounts / tags / words when necessary.
If you hated something, you donât need to tell that to the creator or start pointing fingers at them publicly.
The Back button is free. Use it.
Addendum:
Yes, for this to work, creators need to tag their works accordingly, so that people know what sort of content they are about to engage with and can nope out if necessary.
I will probably make another PSA about the importance of proper tagging later.
Ship And Let Ship
or SALS
You are allowed to ship whatever you want.
Everyone else is also allowed to ship whatever they want.
You are entitled to dislike or even hate a ship. If you want to do this online, in public, donât use the ship tags for hate posts.
If you see someone posting about a ship they like and you donât, there is no need for you to start arguing with them in their replies / comments / QRTs / reblogs. Donât throw your hate in their face.
Do not harass fan creators or fans for shipping something you disapprove.
All of this also applies to liking / disliking an individual character.
Addendum:
âI agree with this, except whenâŠâ
No, then you are NOT agreeing with this.
Let me make this VERY clear. There are NO exceptions. None.
You donât EVER harass real people over pixels.
If you disagree with this, kindly block and move on.
Your Kink Is Not My Kink
or YKINMK / YKINMKATO
The longer version is âYour Kink Is Not My Kink And Thatâs Okayâ.
People have different tastes. Not everything is for everybody.
Even if you donât like a specific kink, other people are still allowed to use it in their creations.
You are entitled to dislike kinky content and think that itâs âweirdâ.
Donât kink shame or judge people based on their kinks.
This goes both ways: your kink is not someone elseâs kink, so donât push it onto those who are not into it.
Be Kind
or Donât Be An Asshole
Focus on the things you like instead of the things you hate.
Create and unite instead of destroying and dividing.
Donât harass real people over fictional things.
Stop stirring up petty drama just to get some attention on social media.
Stop trying to âwinâ. Fandom is not a competition.
Remember that your own experiences arenât universally shared. Your perception of things can differ from someone elseâs, but that doesnât mean either of you is necessarily wrong.
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body language descriptions please?
(eg: she cocked her head)
thank you đđđ
Body Language Descriptions
-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.
Anxiety/Nervousness
She fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, her fingers tugging nervously at the fabric as she struggled to find the right words.
They bit their lower lip.
He looked away, unable to meet her gaze, a clear indication of his guilt.
She absentmindedly rubbed her neck.
He chewed his nails, a nervous habit that he couldn't seem to quit.
They rubbed their hands together nervously.
He tightened his jaw.
She felt beads of sweat forming on her brow, betraying her calm facade as her heart raced.
Frustration/Impatience
Their fists clenched at their sides.
He tapped his fingers rhythmically against the table, a clear sign of impatience as he waited for her to finish.
He rolled his eyes, the gesture full of exasperation as he dismissed her words.
She let out a heavy sigh, the sound heavy with resignation as she faced the inevitable.
He threw his hands up in defeat.
Curiosity
He leaned forward in his chair, eager to hear more, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.
She raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical as she questioned his intentions.
She tilted her head slightly.
He watched intently, his eyes wide with wonder as he took in every detail of her story.
Confidence/Assertiveness
He stood tall with his shoulders back, projecting confidence even in the face of uncertainty.
They sat on the edge of their seat.
She gestured wildly, her hands moving animatedly as she tried to express her excitement.
He stood with his hands on his hips, exuding an air of authority and control over the situation.
They held their chin up high, projecting self-assurance even in the face of adversity.
Defensiveness/Resignation
He crossed his arms over his chest, a defensive posture that spoke volumes about his discomfort.
He braced himself against the wall, a protective stance.
She folded her hands in her lap, a sign of restraint as she fought the urge to speak.
They shrank back slightly, their shoulders hunching as if trying to make themselves smaller in the face of criticism.
He held his breath momentarily, steeling himself for the inevitable conflict he sensed was coming.
She covered her face with her hands, overwhelmed by the situation as she tried to block out the world.
Thoughtfulness/Concentration
She furrowed her brow in concentration, her mind clearly racing as she tried to solve the problem at hand.
She nodded slowly, processing the information, her expression thoughtful and contemplative.
He stared blankly into space, lost in thought as he processed what had just been revealed.
He drummed his fingers on the table, the rhythmic sound a sign of his deep contemplation.
She tapped her foot lightly, her mind racing.
Eagerness/Excitement
He paced back and forth, his restless energy manifesting in the constant movement as he considered his options.
She bent forward, her elbows resting on her knees, a sign of intimacy and engagement in the conversation.
She swayed slightly from side to side, a subconscious display of her nervous energy as she waited for the verdict.
He bounced on his toes, his excitement palpable.
She jumped up and down, a spontaneous display of her joy that couldnât be contained.
#writing prompts#creative writing#writeblr#story prompt#prompt list#ask box prompts#body language descriptions#how to write body language#how to write#how to describe a character's body language#emotion prompts#how to show emotions#writing ideas#writing prompt
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DAD AND DOLLARS -p.js-
pairingâ dad!jay x money struggling fem!reader
synopsis: The hot rich dad next door needs a babysitter? Sign you up.
genre: smut minors do not interact, dilf au, slight age gap (jay is in mid 20s while reader is in early 20s), p with plot, p with feelings
wc: 12.9k
-all warnings below cut-
warnings: slight jealously, profanity, kissing, alcohol consumption
smut warnings: unprotected sex (just donât that), p in v, praising, dirty talk, oral (fem rec.), fingering, squirting, breeding kink, creampies, usage of nicknames (doll, good girl, sir)
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You looked dead center at your laptop to see the ridiculous total number summed up. Over thousands of dollars of student debt is yet to be paid off and youâre not even halfway done.
You closed your computer shut because if it was out of sight it was out of mind, at least for the time being. You sighed, rubbing your temple hoping to soothe the ache forming but the sudden loud beeping of a truck backing up disrupted your train of thought.
The annoying blaring sound only worsened your headache that it felt like it was going to explode any second. Your eye twitched, you were already running on 2 hours of sleep, you hoped to at least get some sleep in before working until late in the night.
Standing up from your table, you walked over to the small window that allowed just enough space to see outside but your eyes narrowed seeing someoneâs back quite literally blocking your view. You quietly mumbled under your breath before wacking open your door.
You currently were in no mood to deal with any solisticing today.
âLook-â You began but quickly stopped when you see the scene before you, a manâa hot man at that, not much older than you or at least you assumed carrying a little girl who resembles him
His hair perfectly combed back showing off his forehead and neatly done undercut with his sharp jawline that looks like it could quite literally cut you in half, a nose bridge all tall and mighty as he wore a simplistic nude pink button up that managed to make your knees weak.
Not a lot of people canât pull that color off but he sure as hell can.
What stood out to you the most was the jewelry that shone in the sunlight blinding you. Just from the mere pieces of jewelry alone, you could practically feel the success flowing through and out of him.
The jewelry the little girl wore outcompeted each and every single one you could ever own. And yet, that wasnât enough to make you peel your eyes away. You hadnât realized how long youâve been staring until the said little girl pointed it out.
Embarrassed, you finally looked away and the mysterious man cleared his throat. âAh, if you'll excuse my daughterâ
Wait what. Daughter?!
You held yourself back from dropping your jaw. Even though you were assuming he wasnât much older than you, he already has a daughter, a young one at that and youâre over here stressing over student debt. What stressful time you must be having.
âWeâve been up since this morning moving in, so she is a little antsy. Please do forgive us for disrupting youâ
Anyone would be if theyâve been up since morning to mo- Wait Moving in?
It mustâve shown on your face because the male in front of you lightly chuckled but it wasnât like the usual chuckles that you hear from other guys. It was rather deeper, more mellow and rumbled out of him and it twisted your insides out.
âWeâve just moved in next doorâ He adjusted his daughter into one arm hoisting her up with ease while his free hand extended a hand to shake with yours, âPleasure to meet you, Iâm Park Jongseongâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
Another exhausting day, another terrible pay.
Youâre genuinely wondering how youâre going to manage to just make it by this upcoming month without falling into a hole and never coming out of it.
Your current job isnât nearly enough to cover all your expenses in the slightest but thereâs such a shortage of job opportunities that youâre stuck there until some miracle falls into your lap and presents you with all the answers to your prayers.
Rubbing your shoulders, you twist your head side to side to feel the crack of your neck relieving you from the tension in it but thatâs when you hear the deep faint voice thatâs been taunting your mind ever since youâve heard it.
Before you could even prepare yourself or more like jam your keys into the lock to rush in before getting caught you hear the small greeting for you, âHi miss!â You nervously gulp before turning around replacing your mumbled breath with a sweet smile towards the little girl holding her dadâs index finger with her small hand
âWell hi there!â You cheerily returned her greet with a fast wave, your eyes remained trained on her not daring to look up to her father hoping there would be no interaction between but the universe was not in your favor today
âComing back after a long day?â His voice filled your mind again and you held back a nervous smile not trusting yourself to speak only left you to nod at his words
Your eyes rose higher until you caught him and he gave a tight smile and you swore your heart mightâve exploded right then and there. It was something so simple yet it had your mind reeling.
You awkwardly touched your neck making it seem like it was sore when in reality you were making sure you still had a pulse.
âSay goodbye honey, sheâs had a long day at work. Iâm sure she needs some restâ Jay softly spoke to his daughter who looked up to your shaky eyes and raised her hand to wave goodbye to you
Your heart melted as you happily waved goodbye to her.
Too caught up in the moment, you seemed to have forgotten the very man you were successfully ignoring for those few seconds his daughter had your attention, âMake sure to rest wellâ
Before you could register the words, they were already walking past you in hushed whispers. Your mouth hung open trying to figure out a response that didnât embarrass you.
âThank you Jongseong. Same to youâ You opted to say through the few second turmoil and when he turned around hearing your voice, itâs corny to admit but it was like slow motion
Everything seemed to be forgotten about as you were solely focused on him. The earrings that hung from his ears, his folded up sleeves exposing his forearm and watch until you saw his beautiful smile. A warm genuine smile.
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
âWoah- Hold on. You mean to tell me that good looking man I saw on my way here was your neighbor?!â Your friend shrieked once you broke the news to her
Supposed to be an important study session for your upcoming exam somehow turned into a 3 hour talking session, laptops and papers discarded.
You groan at your friend's words, hate having to be reminded that he was indeed your neighbor. So close yet so far from you.
âHe dresses so damn good, looks like he has a lot ofâ Your friend rubbed her fingers together with raised eyebrows making you roll your eyes, âPlus I saw him with his little sister, heâs such a good brotherâ
âThatâs his daughterâ You unconsciously said and you didnât realize until you took notice of the silence from your friend who stared at you like she had just seen a ghost
âYou mean to tell me that was his daughter with him..?â You nodded your head and your friend nearly fell off of her chair at the sudden revelation, âHoly shit⊠Youâre living next door to a dilf!â Your friend screech as she stumbled in her seat over to you
You jumped when she clasped your hands into hers, hopeful eyes staring directly into you with a certain mischievous gleam you knew far too well.
âSo when are you getting on that?â Your friend raised an eyebrow and you shot her a confused look
âGetting on what?â
Your friend had to take a minute or so to just look at you in amusement but not in a good way.
âYou mean to tell me you havenât even thought about getting together with him ever since you saw him?!â
You yanked your hands away before lightly pushing her away shaking your head. âHeâs either married or at least seeing someoneâ You said trying to make it believable for yourself more than for herâbut you always noticed the lack of band on his ring finger every time you saw him or any sign of anyone else living with him besides his daughter
âI didnât see any ring on his fingerâ Your friend shrugged her shoulders, tilting her head to the side
So he must be seeing someone. Because thereâs no way that he is single and roaming the streets just like that.
You quickly went to grab your discarded laptop to move on from the topic. This was enough talking for today about your undeniably hot neighbor who just so happened to be a dad.
Your friend suddenly slammed your laptop shut. âWhat are you doing?â You asked but saw her finger pointed directly towards you
âNo bigger question is what are you doingâ Emphasizing the you in her sentence
You stared at her dumbfounded, making her groan in annoyance.
âWhen was the last time you went on a date?â You opened your mouth to respond, âI mean an actual dateâ You closed your mouth right up
âExactly! Itâs been so long since youâve been treated, why not indulge in this nonsense just a littleâ She squished her thumb and index finger together showing basically no space in between them
âIn case you forgot, Iâm a broke student trying to get by till the end of this month. I donât have ti-â
âYeah yeah I know. You donât have time. You donât have the money. You donât have new or fancy clothesâ Your friend cited the same excuses youâve given to excuse yourself from anything thrown your way, âBut donât let it stop you this time. I have a good feeling about this oneâ She softly hummed with a soft smile hoping you take her words truthfully
âHeâs most definitely seeing someoneâ You softly muttered
âAnd if heâs not?â
The question made you think. Even if there was the slimmest chance that he was in fact single and was not seeing anyone, why would he look your way? You donât have much to offer.
âHeâs a dadâ You reminded but her soft smile dropped into something more menacing
âWell thatâs just the cherry on top, no?â
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
âWhat would I do with you?â Your friend chimed, wrapping your sweater over her, it was well past midnight and you finally concluded your study session after all this time and you couldnât wait to fall asleep
âYouâd be walking yourself out in the freezing coldâ She chuckled at your response knowing it was the truth but she happily skipped ahead but stopped in her tracks raising and hand up to stop you
Before you could ask anything, she pulled your arm to where she is and thatâs where you see Jay. His little girl fast asleep in his arms, her puffy cheeks squishing against his broad shoulder as he carefully closed the door shut wanting to make as minimal noise as possible.
He locked the car and stuffed his keys into his trench coat and right when he turned he caught sight of you and your friend looking, he furrowed his eyebrows immediately noticing how you werenât wearing a sweater even though you were clearly cold from the shiver you let out.
Instantly you gave a quick smile to him not sure why he furrowed his eyebrows towards you but he kindly returned your smile with his own before walking past you and your friend still making sure his daughter was still fast asleep.
As he walked past you caught a whiff of his musk cologne and you wholeheartedly wanted to delve straight into it. It made your head woozy, it wasnât strong enough that it was overbearing but it was strong just enough that made sure his presence was embroidered into your mind even when he was long gone.
âOhâ You heard your friend murmur and you turned to look at her dazed expression staring at where he once stood at the side of his car, âYou actually got a double D living next doorâ
âDouble what?â Pure confusion written over your face and she rolled her eyes as if it was the most known thing in the whole wide world
âHello, a double D! A father who has money. Dad and dollars!â
Youâve just had a revelation.
âYou my friend have a hot and rich double D living next door to youâ
âYouâre unbearableâ You scoffed but you gasped when she lightly hit you
âThatâs youâ
âBut I am being so serious right now, you better get on that man before I doâ Before you could retaliate her sentence you heard faint shuffling coming towards your direction and to your surprise, you turned to see Jay coming back minus his daughter
âOhâ He stopped in his tracks seeing you and your friend, âYouâre still here?â It easily could be mistaken as a harsh slap to the face but his tone was soft and gentle that there was nothing to it besides true curiosity
You opened your mouth praying that something coherent would come out but your friend knew better than to trust you and let you figure it out on your own. Especially when he was right there.
âShe was just being such a kind friend and walking me outâ Your friend softly patted your back and you mentally cursed at how cold her hands were against your thin covered back
âWhat about you? Coming out again?â Your friend tilted her head and you had to hold yourself back from dragging her away
âHave to bring the grocery upâ Jay lightly waved the car keys before unlocking his car as the trunk slowly opened
âWe can help you!â Your friend suddenly chimed in and you felt all color drain from your face, you just werenât sure if it was from the cold finally getting to your numb face or how he stops walking and turns around
âYou want to help?â He raised an eyebrow and your friend eagerly nodded and threaded closer to him, when his eyes moved from her onto you wanting to see if you were coming along you remained frozen in place
All the time you were merely in his presence, your body shut down on you as you became just a hollow vessel. He expected a responseâany response from you but when he was received with nothing his lips formed a thin line and nodded his head.
âW-wait of course sheâs going to helpâ Your friend awkwardly chuckled before walking back over to you, âIt must be the cold getting to her. Silly her for not wearing a sweaterâ
You came back to your senses when your friend smacked your arm and you winced feeling how your spiky skin was far more sensitive to touch from how long youâve been out there.
Yet, you didnât have any chance to collect yourself as she dragged you with her in front of him as she gleamed with a smile. He blinked at the sudden appearance of you in front of him while you gulped harshly trying to keep your thoughts sane.
Even up close, your eyes looked over his face, never able to settle on a single feature until you landed on the slightly chapped lips but moved your eyes up to catch his eyes. Under dim lighting he looked phenomenal.
âAlright letâs get those groceriesâ Your friend peeped
You looked away from him down to the ground before softly nodding your head. You were going to help gather some bags but you stopped when you felt a weight place around your shoulder. You looked down to see the trench coat over your body.
Turning to face Jay, he gave a gentle nod. âYou need it way more than meâ His voice rumbled throughout your mind earning the gears to shift inside you by his voice and gesture alone
His eyes examined you in his coat before softly smiling to himself at his thoughts, âNext time make sure to bundle up before going out. You can catch a cold easilyâ
The cold that was once lived in your body faded away into pure warmth and it was all thanks to your neighbor living next door.
It hadnât taken long until all the groceries were brought into his place in one trip. Your friend huffed, shaking her head as if she had run a marathon.
You softly chuckled at her state and softly padded her back to help regulate her breathing again. Underestimating her energy after hours of studying finally caught up to her.
âWho⊠Goes grocery shopping at this time?â Your friend pants
âI guess thatâll be meâ Jay chuckles earning a curious look from you which he catches, âThereâs not enough time in the day that allows me to properly shop and get everything I need, especially when Iâm with my daughterâ
âSounds like you need a babysitter-â Your friend starts but abruptly stops, you looked over to her and saw the same mischievous look on her face and it sent unease to rest in your stomach
âA babysitter would be niceâ Jay lowly sighed but waved it off, grateful to spend time with his daughter despite his busy schedule, âI just havenât had the time to properly look into thatâ
âWell look no further because I know the perfect babysitter for youâ Your eyes widen and youâre suddenly pulled forward once again and stood in the middle of Jayâs place looking like an animal caught in headlights staring right at him
âW-wa-Whâ You tried to speak but nothing came out as you tried to adjust to what your friend just offered, who she just offered which was you
âYou?â Jay sucked his teeth as he looked at you noticing how his trench engulfed your body and unconsciously you straightened out your posture, âJust for uhm precautions⊠Why would you be a good babysitter?â
The sudden light hearted demeanor from him changed instantly and you couldnât blame him. Two random girlsâone of them your neighbor who you barely speak to, was just offered to take care of your daughter just like that. Youâd be surprised if he didnât do this even if itâs late at night and heâs still yet to put the groceries away.
âI-I wonât mind looking after your daughterâ You explained as best as you can as you felt Jayâs piercing gaze on you. Adjusting his jacket over you, your eyes flickered around, âI live right next door so Iâll never be far- Plus my schedule is pretty flexible even with schoolingâ
âAnd I mean itâll benefit you in the end right? Iâll do everything I have to do to properly take care of herâ
âI'd like to help you outâ You managed to give a smile the moment you made eye contact with him which you hoped didnât creep him out, âI mean- You know to make sure you donât get burned out so quickly and have time to focus on yourself! Trust me I know how it feels and itâs not funâ You awkwardly chuckled and you could hear your friend smacking her forehead behind you
His eyes never left yours and it felt like he was able to read every thought in your head. There was a moment of silence and you wanted to lay down in a hole and never show your face again. You nibbled on your lip as you watched Jayâs hard gaze on you.
He let out a sigh nodding his head, âAlright. When can you start?â
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
Running around gathering your belongings into your bag still making sure to be as quiet as possible in order to not disturb the sleeping child in your bed.
You picked up a sudden dropped shift with the expectation of receiving a higher pay for the unexpected inconvenience. You could really care less for the ungodly hour youâll have to work, money is money and you desperately need it.
And right on time, you heard the faint knock at your door and you knew it was none other than Jay picking up his daughter.
This was only your first week babysitting her, the first time awkward but easy but after the 4th day it was better than the first timeâmuch better or at least you thought it was.
At your door, you closed your eyes and took a deep breath before carefully opening it to reveal Jay on the other side of it. A striking simple black suit that pierced your heart like an arrow as he adjusted his watch.
He raised his head to the sound of the door opening and gave a gentle smile making warmth spread across your chest. The silly little infatuation is driving you mad.
âHi Jongseongâ You greeted him, moving to the side just enough to welcome him in, âShe was a little more tired today. Sheâs sleeping right now, just give me a second and Iâll go get herâ
Without even being able to say a word, he watched as you disappeared. Normally, his daughter would be full of energy ready to greet him at the door when it was time to be picked up.
Keeping his lips in a straight line, he looked around your place noticing it was simple but homey. It spoke loud of who you were as a person which heâs come to realize, he doesnât know much of.
He only knew the basic things about you but nothing in depth that could make him stand out in your life. He let out a deep sigh at the thought and rubbed his nape but stopped seeing you carefully carrying his daughter.
Her head rubbing against the juncture of your neck, her small arms wrapped around you and the fondness you looked at her with when she let out a small whine when you tried to hand her over to him.
Jay isnât one to think of anything when seeing someone more specifically a woman holding his daughter but something bloomed in his chest as he watched you whispering in her ear making his daughter pull her ahead away from you to him.
He opened his mouth with a smile and extended his arms which his daughter easily slipped into from yours to his. âHi sweetheartâ He gasped as she quickly knocked her head into his chest and curled into her fatherâs embrace
You handed over her sparkly pink school bag towards Jay which contrasted his attire but you think it suited him quite well and found it more cute.
âThank you so much for looking after herâ He softly said and just hearing his soft voice made your knees want to buckle but stuck with just waving it off as nothing
His eyes looked you up and down and took notice of your clothing. Rather than the comfy clothes you wore the first time he came to pick up his daughter, you wore more formal clothing this time a jacket wrapped around you with your bag hanging off your shoulder and phone in hand.
Your phone vibrated and you looked at it to silently curse under your breath which didnât go unnoticed by him. âIs everything okay?â He asked and you forgot that he was still there for a second
You replaced your frown with a quick smile, âYeah, I just have to head out soon for my shiftâ
Jayâs eyebrows knitted together, âA shift? This late?â
âWhatever can pay the billsâ You sadly chuckled and shrugged it off not noticing how Jay stared at you perplexed, he just got off his shift and here you were going to yours
âHow are you going to get there?â
âWalking but if Iâm lucky I can catch a busâ You explained but noticing time passing by you donât think the chances are high
Jay remained silent, contemplating something as you walked them out. His daughter stirred awake when you locked your front door. You quickly apologized and tried to soothe her back to sleep but she looked between you and your dad with sleepy eyes. âWhere are you going?â Her voiced slurred with sleepiness
âI have to go workâ You softly explained but she tried to reach out to you shaking her head
She mumbles something ineligible and you softly giggled before stroking her head leveling with her whispering a soft goodbye again. Jay watched all of this unfold between his daughter and you, the same bloom in his chest forming all over again.
âI can take you thereâ Jay spoke before being able to comprehend his own thought process,
Your hand dropped to fall to your side. His eyes widened as he stared at your shocked expression
What the hell is he saying? His mouth opened and closed trying to follow up his statement but nothing came out. But his daughter seemed to understand him better than he understands himself. âYes!â Her energy suddenly boosted up at the thought of being able to spend more time with you
Jay stared at his daughter, shocked at her quick interest, he looked over to you and saw the shake of your eyes before letting out a strained laugh. âI donât want it to be an inconvenienceâ You said
âRidiculousâ He chuckled not realizing how it made the harsh thump in your heart hard to ignore, âPleaseâ His voice softer than the first time
How could you say no to him? Well easy. You couldnât.
Jayâs car reflected his personality perfectly. Nice and sleek, the black shining leatherâReal leatherânot some fake leatherette to taint his car. His daughter and your happy chatter filling the car as he follows the GPS to your job.
One could easily mistake the dynamic. Easily. His foot slowed down on the brake pedal coming to a stop in front of the shops that illuminated in bright colors, 24 hours.
â24 hours?â He softly muttered not thinking youâd pick up on it but hearing your light sigh he moved from the sign to you who had a small smile
âLike I said. Whatever pays the billsâ You said, âThank you for the ride I really do appreciate itâ Your smile growing before turning your body in the seat to reach out your hand to the little girl in the back
âDonât give your dad a hard time mhm?â You hummed which caused her to pout her lips, trying to reach other to grab your hand to keep you longer but the restraints of her car seat kept her in place
You shot Jay a different smile. Something warm and tense before stepping out of the car, waving goodbye to them before heading into your job with slack shoulders.
How couldâve he have been so naive, selfish, just so stupid. Youâve been taking care of his daughter while heâs been at work. Picking her up, cleaning up after her, making sure to give the proper meals needed all whilst welcoming her into your place easily, allowing her to sleep in your bed even holding back from taking regular scheduled hours to look after her just to end up working ungodly hours just to get money.
Money that shouldâve been in your bank account from the first hour you looked after his daughter and yet, he hadnât paid you a single dime.
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
At the same time you heard the knock of the door. âRight on timeâ You said while standing up and making your way over to the door which you expected her to follow suit
You opened the door just enough, âHi Jong-â But it slammed shut in front of his face
Your jaw dropped letting out a loud gasp to see his daughterâs hand on the door, a deep frown on her face before clinging onto your leg, shaking her head. âDonât want to see himâ She huffed
Knitting your eyebrows you crouched the door peeling her off your leg to hold her arms. âNow that wasnât very nice to do but why donât you want to see him?â You softly asked but you let out strained a yelp when she launched her arms around your neck
You wrapped an arm around her, hoisting her up. âIâm going to open the door okay?â The lack of response from her made your lip tug to the side before opening the door again
Jay rubbing his creased forehead stopped. You gave an apologetic confused smile but he gave a tired smile in return almost as if he expected it. âItâs time to go back homeâ You whispered into the little girlâs ear but she let out a whine, roughly shaking her head and only held onto you tighter
Confusion written over your face as you tried to peel her off her body into Jayâs but she wouldnât budge.
Letting out a deep sigh, he ran a hand through his neat hair. The locks slotted through each crack easily, messily ruining the sleek style into something far more loose.
Awkwardly shaking your head from that thought to look at Jay. âWhy donât you come in?â You motioned him inside just like how you always did
How you welcomed him so easily when he hadnât welcomed you like that showed the constraint he held himself up to. Sighing heavily as he walked in, you closed the door behind himârocking the girl in your arms who hadnât looked at her father once.
âMake yourself comfortable Jongseongâ
âI feel like weâll be here for a whileâ
And after hours of quite literal utter silence in your place, Jayâs daughter finally fell asleep in your arms.
âSheâs asleepâ You softly whispered to Jay who immediately perked up from the chair, sleepy eyes seeing his daughter happily laying against your body, a content smile on her face while in your embrace
âOh I didnât know you were sleeping-â
âNo, it's fine. Iâm sorry I fell asleepâ Jay tried rubbing his hands over his eyes to wake himself up
âStressful day?â You softly questioned, it was a little invasive but the lack of sleep infiltrated your regular thought process that you spewed anything that came to mind
Jay stayed silent for a moment, his hands moving away from his eyes to look over to your droopy ones. You still managed to have a smile plastered on your face, especially to him.
There werenât many times he could be vulnerable, not when he has to prioritize his daughter over everything, to make money which is never an issue for him just to make sure his daughter could have anything and everything she could ever want.
A need to fill the void that no material could ever fulfill.
âJust a littleâ He deeply sighed, his back sinking into the seat again, his arm resting against the armchair
You nipped at your lip, âWant to talk about it?â Each word smaller than the last not wanting to overstep a boundary with him but it was an invisible opportunity that heâs been wanting, waiting for so long
âThatâll be niceâ
As you laid Jayâs daughter into your bed, he stayed next to you the entire time. He knelt to the ground, placing a soft kiss on her forehead, mumbling something inaudible for you to hear before stroking his cheek with a saddening gaze.
He tugged at your sheets making sure she was fully covered before turning to face you. You looked at him with complete utter fondness and he stopped his movement. His gaze remained on you for a split second longer than he wanted trying to pull back his wandering thoughts from going deeper.
Clearing his throat, he knelt up from the ground which brought you out from the haze that you were. Your eyes widened as his eyes never left yours and you quickly turned a heel, âI-I have some wine, do you drink wine? Is wine good?â You rambled
Jay stared at your figure. He let out a deep sigh which soon grew into a small smile when you turned around to face him. The light behind illuminating your figure. âWine is perfectâ
Jay sat across from you, his usually strict attire now messed up. Three unbuttoned buttons from his shirt. Sleeves rolled all the way up to his elbow, his hair out of his slicked style to a messy middle part. Legs barely spread open, his lower body pushed forward as he twirled the wine left in his glass.
âSheâs upset with me todayâ Jay sipped drops of wine out of his glass before resting it onto his lap, âI mean I donât blame her. I promised that her mom and I would take her out butâŠâ He sighed heavily
The mention of the mother made you suddenly tense. The first time you ever heard anything about her, neither did Jay or his daughter ever speak of her in your presence.
You gulped harshly, shifting on the couch. The material under your body is clinging onto your skin somehow. Itâs a normal reaction right or maybe youâre overthinking. It must be the alcohol seeping into your system already even though you hadnât taken a sip yet.
âWe both got caught up in work so we had to reschedule but I had to be the bearer of bad news and when I had to break it to her, of course she was upsetâ
âIâm actually surprised she didnât complain to you about it. She made it very known that she was upset at me and her motherâ Jay sadly chuckled to himself, his eyes trained on the wine glass
âItâs not your faultâ He quickly looked to you surprised to see the disagreement of opinion, âI mean- Thereâs some things that we canât controlâ
âEspecially when you and your wife work-â
âSheâs not my wifeâ
Defying silence surrounds you and Jay. He was quick to rebuttal the assumption and it tingles something in your gut.
âMe and her mother co-parent. We were young and reckless and everything just happened before we even realized it and now we have our precious little girlâ Jay chuckled looking up from the wine glass to look at you, a certain glint in his eyes.
âBut weâre not- Iâm not marriedâ
You couldnât look away from his eyes. They were enticing, captivating you deeper into the very thing you were holding yourself back from. Jayâs eyes never faltered from yours and you wondered how.
Trying to snap yourself from the moment to ground yourself in reality because even if he wasnât marriedâJust co-parenting, he has to be seeing someone.
âO-Oh I seeâ You said, his eyes boring straight into yours
You harshly gulped while trying to ignore the bubbling warmth of hope soaring through you. A voice deep inside your mind voicing out your deepest desires.
Feeling as if Jay could see right through you and hear these thoughts made you shift in your spot again. What if he could hear them? What if he thinks itâs strange?
Through the slimmest possible lens, what if he felt the same way.
âStill donât blame yourself for it⊠Iâm sure sheâll understand sooner or later. Maybe take her out to help somewhat ease the situation until you and uhm her mother can take her outâ You offered some advice as best as you could
Jay remained silent listening to you. His eyes finally look away from you and you let out a silent sigh of relief from the release of his hard gaze.
âTaking her outâŠâ Jayâs voice was barely above a whisper, he twirled the wine once again deep in thought
You stared at him, anticipation slipping deep into each crevice as possible in you until he spoke up again with his eyes looking back up to you, âDefinitely will have to do thatâ
There felt more to his words than the surfacing original topic of it yet, you couldnât place your finger on it.
âYou know she talks about you a lotâ You were the one to look at him in shock
âReally? I hope itâs good thi-â
âAlwaysâ He interrupted taking another sip of the alcoholic drink to slip past in his throat, âItâs always good thingsâ He smiled towards and there was the same warmth you felt whenever you with him grow 10 folds
âIâve been meaning to give this to you. Iâm sorry that itâs taken me so long please forgive meâ Jay shuffled through his discarded jacket before pulling out an envelope leaning over to slide it over to you
âWha-â His shirt fell just enough that if you dared to look longer you could see the necklace dangling and past it was his sculpted chest
You pulled your eyes to the envelope and grabbed it with shaky hands trying to hold back from showing the burning of your cheeks. Your palm clammy trying to open the envelope but slipping every time.
You continued to try opening the envelope but soon Jayâs calloused warm hands engulfed yours. You jumped at the sudden contact but not enough to pull your hands away. Looking up to him, his face is daringly close to yours.
Able to feel his breath brush against yours, you smelled the hint of wine but it made your insides churn in a rather dark way instead.
âSlow dollâ His voice slurred and fluttering, âTake it nice and slowâ
His fingers clasped over yours, guiding your movement in carefully opening the envelope. Holding your breath as he made your fingers slip into the envelope slowly slotting your fingers to grab the thin paper inside to pull out.
There was a slight shudder rumbling out of your breath causing him to slip up a smirk. Your eyes widen in pure shock as you read over the words on the paper or more like check.
A check written out to not even a hundred dollars but instead 2 thousand dollars.
âI-I- Jong-Jongseongâ
Your mouth fell slack as you tried to find any words that could form at least anything in the slightest but nothing came out. âWhen are you free?â He whispered, his nose bumped against yours, his eyes looking deep and searching in yours
Your hands fell down with his on top, âIâd like to take you outâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
An all black outfit. The button up something you hadnât seen before. It accented his shoulders that screamed to you, his daring built back that your fingers itched to claw at. His more relaxed but styled hair with the singular falling in front.
Jay looked so good but he wasnât staying. Instead he was going out while you were staying at his place to babysit his daughter like you always do.
And yet, selfishly you shouldâve made some lie that you were busy and wouldnât be able to babysit his daughter.
But the look in his eyes swooned you and the silent hidden excitement from him landed you right on his couch with his daughter plastered against your side having to watch her dad finish getting ready.
âPlease call in case of anything. Itâs just some job party, nothing important. They always host themâ He rambled trying to diminish the past excitement he had, âActually you know what? Iâm not going anywhere, Iâll just stay with you bothâ Jay said beginning to take off his watch
âJayâ You simply said which made him stop, he looked over to you letting out a deep sigh, âGo to it. When was the last time you were able to enjoy yourself?â
Two weeks ago when I took you out is what he wouldâve said if he had the courage to.
That day two weeks ago had been the highlight of his social life that heâs had in years. Always being so focused on working and taking care of his daughter, he never paid attention to anything outside of it until you came into the picture.
He can remember it so vividly almost as if he were to be reliving it again. Your sweet smile greeting him and his daughter. âHiâ He breathlessly let out seeing you
He awkwardly fumbled with his suit as you took notice of his different style of hair different from the usual one you see him in. Instead of the usual strict sleek hair, it was loosely done, his hair moved to each side to expose his forehead slightly.
âHi miss!â You looked down to see his daughter dressed up as she crashed her body onto your body in a bear-like hug looking up to you with sparkly eyes
Letting out a heartfelt chuckle, you stroked her head before looking up to Jay with a gentle expression. Heâs never been bothered with seeing others with daughter and yet, everytime with you, he feels a twinge twist in his chest watching you and his daughter.
âDaddy give her your gift!â His daughter chirped making him flinch at the sudden spotlight on him, you tilted your head in confusion and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before straining out a laugh
He pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and your smile dropped before quickly growing into a bigger one. You nipped at your lip to hold it back anymore but it was near impossible.
âGuess the surprise is ruinedâ He softly murmur but you shook your head at his words and grabbed the bouquet
âIt caught me off guard so I think itâs a successâ You chuckled before grasping the bouquet, âTheyâre beautifulâ You admired the flowers while he only looked at you
Jay was floored. âYeah I knowâ He mumbled under his breath going unnoticed by you
âThank you Jayâ You looked up to catch him staring at you with a certain sparkle as he looked at you, he let out his own smile and if it wasn't for his daughter tugging at his hand, he wouldnât have gotten out of the daze he was in any time soon
Instinctively looking at his daughter, he gave two fingers for her to hold and she looked over to you with her hand open. Instantly you knew what she wanted and allowed her to grasp your fingers.
âLetâs head out shall we? Our reservation is soon-â
âDaddy worked hard!â His daughter chipped in cutting him off, âAlways on the phone talking to people for itâ His daughter spoke making the tips of Jayâs ears turn bright red as you stifled a laugh
âOh did he now?â You raised an eyebrow looking over to Jay who hadnât said a single thing to rebuttal the accusation, it was true, he wasnât going to deny it
He wanted everything to be perfect and by the end of it, it was indeed perfect. Jay held his sleeping daughter in his arms, your hand wrapped around his bicep able to feel the slight bulge of it as he walked you to your front door.
Jay felt accomplished. The day was filled with nothing but laughter and chatter minus the exception of sudden silence when many people mistaken them as a beautiful loving family out to dinner which always left Jay in a ringing frenzy until you snapped him out of it everytime.
He didnât know why the usage of family with you, to have you be mistaken as the mother of his daughter or as his wife left him hot and his heart pattering against his chest.
âThank you Jay for today. I had such a wonderful timeâ You smiled brightly and he was growing too accustomed to see your beautiful smile towards him
âIt was my pleasureâ He gave a tight smile as he felt sudden jitters all around, âIâm sure she enjoyed it tooâ He gestured towards his sleeping daughter
You nodded your head, a look of contemplation in your eyes before unlocking your door but right before you opened it, you quickly spun around and planted a peck on his cheek before fumbling with the door behind you.
Jay froze for a moment and just before you could slip through his fingers he strangled out a sound to stop you. You turned around, a faint dust of blush heating your cheeks as you lowered your gaze.
He gulped harshly not thinking this far ahead but knowing he had to come up with something, âI-I uhm if you want to of course- Iâd like to take you againâ He jumbled his words together until some sentence was formed
He anxiously looked at your dropped expression as you raised your head to look at him and heâll never be able to forget the chuckle you let out as you nodded your head softly biting back your smile.
The beating of his heart reminded him of what it was like to feel like a little kid having their first crush ever all over again. It never bothered him not feeling this in a long time but now being able to experience it again, it felt nice.
And yet, somehow he never managed to gain any courage to see when you were free. Excusing it to be poor scheduling with his working hours and you taking care of his daughter and schooling hours with the very few work hours you snagged just for extra pocket money even when he offered to pay triple the amount heâs been already paying youâWhich was nearly 3 thousand dollars daily.
Money is not an issue for Jay, never has been and never will be and heâs more than willing to cover all and any expenses you may have. His only issue is not nearly having enough courage to ask you again.
âDonât worry about us, you know we always have our own fun here. Go have yoursâ Your reassuring voice reminded him of reality as you smiled through a fake smile
As wonderful the idea was if Jay stayed in that exact same outfit and didnât go out for everyone to throw themselves at him. You knew it was unreasonable, these job parties are probably hosted in the first place with hopes that he shows up to at least one of them.
Ignoring the bubbling gnaw in your stomach twisting your stomach inside and out, Jay lets out a defeat sigh, clicking his watch back on and dusting off the imaginary dust off his clothes.
âSay goodbyeâ You whispered and Jayâs daughter smiled widely waving goodbye to her dad who stared at her and you in complete awe
He walked over, his hand resting on the armchair and leaning down to kiss his daughter on the forehead. In the process the same musk cologne filled your nose making your head dizzy and having him in closer proximity made your heart thump out of your chest.
His side profile was nothing but sheer perfection. You nibbled at your lip as you examined his features up close, always finding yourself in this very position. And yet, he was beyond reach.
Your lips tugged downwards but tried to replace it with a smile when Jay pulled away and looked over to you. His eyes boring into your wavering ones like usual, there was a split moment of hesitance. You gulped trying to ignore the patter of your heart.
Instead of saying goodbye, Jayâs breath shakily fanned yours with a staggering thing smile plastering on his face, âSee you soonâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
He expected the party to loosen every fiber in his body but instead his emotions were only heightened ten folds. Every passing second heâs looking at his watch counting down the milliseconds waiting for what seems like a reasonable time to leave.
Sighing heavily, he shakes his head. He shouldnât have listened to you. Heâd rather spend tonight with you and his daughter watching whatever you guys put on.
Swashing the drink in hand not having taken a single sip from the moment he arrived, his arms resting against the rail as he overlooked to see everyone enjoying themselves. He let out another heavy sigh just to check his watch again.
âMr. Park you look tensedâ He looked up to see his employee leaning against the rail next to him giving him a sly smile
Being the boss he is, he dropped his sullen face to give a professional smile. âDo I?â He sucked his teeth letting out a quick stifle laugh
She giggled at his remark like it was the funniest thing ever said, âIs it perhaps about your daughter?â She tilted her head and Jay didnât like the fact she carelessly mentions his daughter
However, giving the benefit of the doubt, he assumes it must be the alcohol in her system noticing the nearly empty glass at hand.
He lets out an awkward laugh and tilts his head to the side giving no response. âOr is there stuff happening at home? Yâknow I would love to help out in anyway I can Mr. Parkâ The employee rubbed her hand up and down his arm slurring her words together
His eyes followed her movements and carefully pulled his arm away checking the time, âWill you look at that I have to get back home to my girlsâ
âYour girls?â The employee muttered to herself in confusion but she wasnât able to dwell on it anymore when Jay took away the glass with a small smile
âDonât drink anymore tonight. Make sure to rest properly and take some medicine in the morningâ Jay nodded his head and easily turned his heel walking past the other employees who all wondered where he was going but none dared to ask
It didnât take long for Jay to get back to his but on the drive home, he was in pure contemplation. His elbow resting on the open window, feeling the night breeze fanning his face as his fingers played with his lips.
He possibly couldnât. He shouldnât even be thinking about you in this light and yet every time he sees you, he feels like heâs experiencing his first crush all over again.
Jay rushed out of his car once he parked it. Standing outside his front door, his hand raised to softly knock against it. After a few seconds of waiting which felt like an eternity. The door opened with your soft voice. âJongseong?â
Right when the door was opened wide enough, Jay stepped in not forgetting to lock the door behind him. He knew his daughter was fast asleep considering the time. It was just you and him.
You stared at Jay confused at the lack of response from him but you gasped when he suddenly grasped your hands, feeling the familiar calloused feel of them scratching your skin.
He looked deeply into your eyes and you nearly felt your heart burst out of your chest. Thereâs always been an underlying feeling thatâs been infiltrating him from the moment he first met you.
A pretty, money struggling woman that he wants as his to bask away into the sunset and take care of forever.
Jayâs hand held your lower back, his other hand holding the middle of your back flushing you against his. You let out a small squeal the moment your bodies clashed. His breath fanned over yours and the very faint smell of the musk cologne caused a shiver to run up your spine.
Youâve never seen him like this. So raw with emotion, yearning eyes, a tug at his lips. âJa-Jay?- Jongseong?â You stuttered not knowing how to address him in this moment, your heart thumping out of your chest
He drew in closer, his lips closing in on yours, âCall me Jay. Call me Jongseong. You can call me whatever you wantâ
âJust call out to meâ You felt his lips grazing yours before he softly planted them against each other
Your squished hands shivered but they carefully climbed higher until they reached his sharp jaw as you pushed further into his lips. Jay let out a pleased sigh feeling the reciprocation. His hand on your mid back traveled to grasp the back of your head.
His hands turned your body, his body filling in any empty space that dared to be left behind. Your hands squeeze in between under his arms, grasping onto the behind his shoulders in a desperate need.
Your mind was reeling, not a single thought in it besides the dadâThe hot dad next door, Park Jongseong.
His tongue gilded against your lip, begging for entrance. You easily allowed him to explore your mouth. His teeth tugging at your bottom lip in a haste making your squeal.
âGoing to have to be a quiet dollâ However, he wasnât sure if he could keep up with his own words, Jay felt drunk when he was kissing you
Your lips grew swollen from how long heâs been kissing you but not once did he stop, the lack of oxygen would never stop him from kissing you.
The tips of your fingers dug deeper into his shoulder causing him to let out a loan groan at the feel. If there was one thing he was sure of, it was how badly he wants to make you his.
Jayâs arms loosened around your body enough to make his hands land on your hips to carefully guide your body deeper into his home that now always welcomes you in.
You allowed yourself to melt in his embrace. Every touch felt like fire against your skin, your arms flailed to wrap around his neck making sure not even for a second did his lip ever leave yours. Your teasing fingertips entangled in his hair.
Jay bit your lip to keep himself silent through the dizzy feeling of your tugs. The moment you reached his bedroom, the door closed shut as he quickly pushed you onto his bed, never detaching his mouth from yours.
His body slotted between your legs, as you wrapped around him. Holding him to keep him closeâdaring for him to get farther than just a few centimeters away only to drag him back in.
The feel of lightheadedness was finally catching up, through the few milliseconds that you both stopped to change positions were you able to properly breathe but it was taken away when Jay crashed his lips back onto yours.
The same repeated motions felt like an eternity that you never wanted to escape from. Jayâs hands holding your waist tightly while yours traveled playing with the back hairs loving how they run perfectly in between.
Jayâs been kissing you like a starved man who has been deprived of any sense of touch for so long which wasnât far from the truth. One final tug at your lips before the wave of air filled your lungs through a loud pant.
Gasping for air contrasted the pucker of your lips ushering more kisses. Jay let out a deep chuckle, his thumb rubbing at your sides now planting softer pecks on your lips with a side smile tugging at his lips.
âMoreâ Your voice slurred, âPleaseâ
Your breathless pleas only fueled him further. Who was he to deny your desperate pleas.
âTalk to me. What do you want, doll?â He hummed in the juncture of your neck, his mouth leaving feathering kisses in its wake
The simple nickname leads to the attempt to squish your legs together, forgetting how Jay rested in the middle. He caught your attempt and let out a chuckle.
âYou like being called doll or do you like the fact that youâre my doll? Which one is it, mhm?â An unexplainable courage taking over him that he couldnât remember why he didnât ask you out from the moment he knew what he wanted
You could feel the smirk radiating off of him and you rolled your eyes which didnât go unnoticed by him. He sucked in his teeth, his hand grabbing your chin with force to make you look at him.
âNow donât be a bratâ He tooted before letting out a smirk, âUse your big girl words, which is it?â
Already have succumbed to him and his words from the moment you saw him standing at your front door. âYour dollâ You softly said
Pleased with the words, he let go of your chin to capture your lips with his, the kiss softer than the first one. His hand gilded higher up your side. You moaned in the kiss, happy to feel his lips on yours again.
Your hands wrapped around his neck to keep him in place, âLet me spoil you dollâ He murmured, your lips grew in a smirk which he felt, his hand tightened on your waist as if in a warming
Pulling away with a heavy pant, you looked up to him with curious eyes which captivated him, âI spend a lot of money you knowâ You snapped your fingers, âJust like thatâŠâ Your voice becoming lower than the last
Jay let out a laugh, his head dropping, âWell can you waste my money as quickly as I earn it?â His head raised when he questioned you
You froze at the retaliation. You nervously gulped before letting out a shy smile. You shook your head. Jay hummed in satisfaction at the response before planting kisses at the side of your neck. âDidnât think soâ
Closing your eyes, you lose yourself in the sensation. Your body contorted with each of his feather kisses, you bit your lip loving each second of his mouth on your body.
While they moved lower and lower while his hands managed to slip under your shirt feeling your burning bare skin under his touch. You let out a louder gasp than intended when you felt his hand cup at your breast through your bra.
Your eyes shot open only to see Jay looking up to you with a gleam and smirk written all over his face. His hand dragged from under your shirt to your legs, his fingertips gliding until he reached the waist of your pants.
You let out a shaky breath, his eyes pleading for permission. You slowly nodded your head. âWhat a good girlâ He whispered the praise before dragging your pants down
The air caught in your throat but quickly noticing how he was leaving the sticky undergarment clinging to you, you stopped his hands from moving any further.
Jay immediately stopped and looked at you with worried eyes. He retracted his hands away and began to pull away but right when he was going to speak, you engulfed his hands to bring them back.
Stretching out his fingers, you looped them under to grab everything. Jay froze feeling the fabric of your underwear at his fingertips. He looked away with wide eyes to you but you gave a reassuring smile before allowing yourself to melt back into his bed.
âDonât be so shyâ You whispered loud enough for him to hear, he let out strained chuckle before nodding his head
He pulled down every piece of fabric in one motion. You unconsciously squished your legs together, âItâs okay doll. You donât have to do a single thing. Iâll take care of youâ He softly reassured as he pried open your knees to expose you to him
You closed your eyes shut while your hands fisted at his sheets. Jayâs eyes zeroed in on the glistening entrance that invited him to devour. Opening his mouth with a big breath, he went in and placed an open mouth kiss on your core.
You squealed and jumped from the contact but Jay hooked his arms under your legs before you could fully pull away from him. He groaned at the taste of your captivating arousal on his taste buds. His tongue glided over your folds lathering and mixing his saliva with your arousal.
âJong-Jayâ You breathlessly let out as one of your hands grabbed a fist full of hair, tugging at it while Jayâs mouth sucked and sucked practically all wetness from you
Jayâs groan vibrated from your core all the way to your head, infiltrating it with ease. No response to your calls of his name as he continued to lap at your pussy. Shivering with each kiss and suck, you let out a loud gasp when you felt the intrusion of his tongue teasing your gaping hole.
Jay immediately pulled away, the string of saliva connecting his mouth to your soaked smeared entrance, you nearly came to the scene.
âShhh doll, have to be quiteâ He brought a single finger over his mouth, a smirk played on his mouth seeing the fading string on his lips, his finger glided over his swollen mouth
It collected all that was left over and Jay brought the finger into his mouth, tasting the lovely essence of you. He lightly hummed before bringing his finger out and gliding it over your mouth. âOpenâ The tone stern made you listen without hesitance
Seeing how easily you opened your mouth to welcome the singular finger in without any resistance had his pants grow tighter. Your tongue swirled around his finger, your eyes never letting go with his. He smirked wildly as he pushed his finger further down your throat.
A dark cloud consumed his mind. The rationality he tried to maintain drifted further away. You tried to take as much as you could, feeling how his fingers went further down.
âLooks like you can take stuff wellâ Jay sneered, a crazed looked in his eyes before you began choking on his finger, feeling the flesh reaching the back of your throat
Pulling his finger away, your mouth closed in on it, letting it out with a pop when his finger left the warmth of your mouth. His finger now covered in your saliva, he admired it.
Looking back at you only to see the wide hopeful eyes you stared at him with a loopy smile. âBeautifulâ He whispered softly to himself before lowering his head back down
Expecting or more like anticipating the feel of his mouth again, you let out a louder gasp at the slip of his two fingers into your gaping hole. âWas just calling to be filled. I couldnât ignore itâ Jay muttered breathlessly as your walls clenched around him, âI promised to take care of you, didnât I?â
âJ-Jayâ Your hand tried to grappled with his wrist but the drag of fingers near lying slipping out just to slip back him made you stop
Knuckles deep into you, he pulled out again just to shove them back in, repeating the same motion over and over again. The squelch of your arousal and the quiet pants let out, your mind became hazy quickly, âQuiet dollâ Jay whispered
Before you could retain a sense of awareness to respond, his mouth attached to your swollen begging bundle of nerves and the first suck made you let out a loud moan.
Your hand flew to cover your mouth and with wide eyes you stared at Jay who froze. The single beautiful noise he heard made him smile against you.
He looked to see you covering your mouth, worried filling your eyes. Your chest rising and dropping. His freehand traveled up to replace your hand with his own. His thumb stroked your cheek, a sharp look in his eyes.
Maintaining a good pace, his fingers pumped into your welcoming entrance, never forgetting to curl and scissor you open. You let your moans fall into his hand, muffled more and more, the more he pressed down harder.
Your eyes rolled to the back of your head feeling the flick of his tongue on your clit as if it were the sweetest treat to ever exist. The stimulation made you shake and back arch just for him. Breathing as best as you could through your nose with each calculated and careful rub to the nerves had you fisting fisting at his hair while your legs wrapped around his head latching him onto your pussy.
âSo fucking sweetâ He murmured to your muffled moans, âGive it to me doll. Be a good girlâ He knew you were on the edge, the pulse of you around his fingers was the near indicator, sucking him more and deeper into you
âJayâ You wail in his mouth before lightly biting on his palm to keep quiet as best as you could, âJa-Jongseong!â You let out louder when suddenly a gush of release shot out of you as you came over his fingers with a tight clench that forced his fingers out of you
Jay moved his fingers over your folds encouraging more of your juices to be released as he slurped as much out of your leaking entrance as he could, not wanting a single thing to go to waste. His tongue only add more to your sensitivity as you body contorted even after it finally came to a stop, âHelping you outâ The kisses were only constant while your whines and heavy pants continued, combining together
He stopped with one final kiss before finally pulling away and releasing your mouth from his hand. Your mind trying to comprehend and come down from the new height of pleasure, you let out a loud relieved sigh with a hidden shudder of satisfaction.
Seeing his smeared cover chin and loopy smile he had on his face made your chest flutter, âYou okay there?â Jay lightly chuckled at your weak nod, âBig girl words doll. You know how to use themâ Jay rose to hover above you
âFuck me Jayâ
Jay smirked letting out a hiss âWasted no time and used such nasty wordsâ
âThink you can be quiet for me?â Jay hummed trickled down your mind straight to your pulsating hole waiting to be filled
Nodding your head quickly and covering your mouth with your own hands made Jayâs lips tug to the side in pleasure. Jay fumbled with his belt, his eyes never leaving your lingering one and managed to free himself from the restraints of his pants with a strained sigh.
Your eyes widened zeroing in on the prominent bulge that was daring to burst any second, âLet me help youâ He whispered replacing your hand with his
Titling his head to the side admiring the scene beneath him. Sprawled onto his messed up sheets that heâll have to change after this, a daze filled look in your eye and his hand lightly covering your mouth.
Jay used his freehand as best as he could to free his raging hard-on thatâs been deprived for many years. Your eyes watched his every move to see how his cock sprung against his abdomen, having your jaw drop. A very much leaking tip and small twitches at the freedom and something that was bigâvery big.
He felt the slack of your mouth and chuckled to himself feeling the pride swell his chest. âWhatâs wrong doll?â He murmured when removing his hand waiting for some type of response
Your mouth opened and closed trying to form some type of articulating thought but nothing came out. âThink you can handle all of it? Can you think of taking me all in here mhmm?â Jayâs hand rubbed over your stomach in a slow manner
âThink you can be a good girl and stay quiet while I fuck you senseless?â
You were able to feel the thumping against your chest that you feared he would be able to hear. You donât think in your wildest dreams would you be able to take someone like Jay. Yet, now in your wildest reality, youâll tryâwell more like you will.
You tugged at Jayâs forearm whilst maintaining eye contact with him. The soft tug at your bottom lip as you threaded his hand to cover your mouth. You nodded your head as your eyes looked at him with greed. âWhy donât you find out?â
To your shock, Jay softly tugged his arm away from your hold. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tapped at your leg, âTurn aroundâ
Seeming getting used to your jaw falling slack, you looked at him in shock but didnât hear an ounce of sputter in his tone. Not wanting to risk being left all hot and bothered even though you knew Jay wouldnât dare. You were not testing his patience today.
With a harsh gulp, you flipped your body over. Jayâs hands hovering over your hips before tugging them up before you could fully lay them onto his bed. Your upper body pressed into the mattress, feeling the messed up sheets sticking to the side of your face.
Your hands fisted at the sheets at the new exposure you had for him while your cheeks burned in shyness. He rubbed your hips in awe, pulling one of your cheeks to the side to get a glimpse of the arousal covered crevice. âIs this all for me doll?â
âA-All for you. Just youâ
His other hand grabbed the heft into his palm before aligning at your entrance. âRemember to keep quietâ He reminded, âTake a nice big deep breath for meâ
You followed his instructions but before you could fully respond you felt the larger intrusion of his tip to your gaping hole making you silently gasp. The stretch compared to nothing youâve ever felt before and would possibly never.
âFuckâ You breathlessly let out as Jay continued to sink himself deeper
Jay tried his best to not ram himself entirely into the delicious confinement you provided but it called for himâwhile sucking and welcoming him inside.
âS-shit taking me so goodâ He muttered as quietly as he could, âCould stay inside you foreverâ
You felt like you were being split in half just by his cock alone. Your ragged breaths followed after another trying to remember Jayâs advice and not get lost in the sensation.
You peered over your shoulder as best as you could to see how Jayâs looked to where he entered you. The sheer consecration and control made your mind stutter.
Without a warning, in a single thrust, your body jolted forward and you felt full. You gasped loudly, the sheets crumbling more under your clamped hands and body. Your lip shivered as you tried to keep your noises to a minimum.
âJ-Jayâ Your voice cracked trying to get adjusted to your walls being so stretched out by him
âItâs okay, I got youâ His reassurance filled your chest with warmth, taking a few breaths to regulate your body, you weakly nodded your head as you dug your head into the mattress to muffle yourself, âSuch a good girlâ He uttered softly tracing your back
Moving his hips once, he quickly got lost in the sense of you wrapped around him. His thrust left you nearly empty only to be filled the next second. Each precise move was calculated to each maximum pleasure possible for you. Nearly able to feel his tip already hitting deep to your g-spot, poking to your insides in a teasing manner.
Your muffled moans fueled Jay further to the edge. He gripped at your hips, his slow pace now picking up only slightly. You were taking all of him and he never felt prouder. âTaking me like such a good girl, so damn proud of youâ
Feeling like your head was submerged in water, you relished in his praise. The senses that were always on high alert whenever he was around came crumbling down and became filled with him.
âF-for youâ You blabbed against the sheets and Jay managed to hear it making him tap at your lower back as he carefully placed his body onto of yours to melt as one
Each thrust led you further into the mattress, your mouth opened leaving small moans in its wake, leaving your mind blank to only focus on the fulfillment you had inside.
Turning your head to the side, you let out whined filled pants. âTake it doll- Not a fucking soundâ Jay grunted darkly into your ear
Your mind tried to recall the words just said to you. But deeper and stronger was the desire to let Jay know how he was making you feel. Feeling you clamp around him harder and the silent pants soon became quiet moans.
âT-Too good. âm sorryâ You mewled as he continued to thrust into you, âSo good, can-canât help itâ Your body meshed as he continued
You took a loud deep breath while a whine rumbled out of your chest when he suddenly stopped his thrust, âAs much as I would love to hear youâ Jayâs sudden harsh thrust caught you off guard with a yelp, âYou need to be quietâ Each word followed by another harsh thrust that touched nearly every thing imaginable inside of you
Your broken wails were muffled by the bedding once again. Seeing the recoil of when he and you meet only fueled a carnal desire in him more. âGonna breed your sweet pussy dollâ
âYouâll be so full of meâŠWill you like that?â Jay grunts having the calculated thrust embodied your mind and body just for him
His words added to the fire that was consuming your body whole. You nodded your head roughly. âRemember what I said. Big girl wordsâ Jayâs voice lulled into your ear, âWant me to fill you up thatâll you feel it inside of you? Until itâs moving around in you with each step you take?â
The obscene noises only grew louder against his bed as you tried to form a proper sentence to please Jay. âY-yesâ You pleaded as best as you could, âPlease Ja-Jayâ
âWhatever you ask for dollâ Jay snapped his hips harsher, as you clawed at the sheets for support, âTaking me so fucking good- Bet youâll take everything I give youâ
You weakly nodded your head, âWill- F-For youâ You murmured
His thrust grew frantic and irregular, his constant grunts filled your ears. The more you clamped around him, not daring to let him go of the welcoming embrace you had around him drew him nearer his organsm.
âDoinâ so good for meâ His hand held onto your body when he felt you tightened as you let out the loudest moan of the night as you came all over his cock
Your body shivered as you entered a state of pure bliss. âTake it- Just a little more for me. Be a good girl for meâ His praises slipped passed your gaze and deep into your heart making the clench you had on Jay limit his range of motion but it was enough to have him snap and paint your pink velvet walls white of him.
A low groan slipped his mouth as he halted his thrust to properly fill you to the brim just like how he promised. He watched how you pulsed around him but none of the cum dared to fall out as you took everything he split into you.
Jayâs chest rose up and down, softly pulling out his semi hard cock out of you hearing the small hiss you let out at the sudden emptiness. Your body laid face first on his bed, your body rising and falling with each heavy pant. He smiled softly as he helped you turn your body around to face him.
There he realized his biggest mistake as he saw you masked in an afterglow. Your mouth was slack slightly opened, quiet whines fell out every now and then, your half lidded eyes staring up at him.
His eyes traveled to where he once was inside of you to see the few clumps of cum that spilled out. He cooed before quickly scooping whatever he could to sleek it over your folds before pushing it back in where he left it.
You whined loudly and slightly jolted at your sensitivity being tested when his fingers entered you again. âYou did so good for me doll... Youâre such a good girl for me. Iâm so proud of youâ Jay planted a messy peck against your cheek, âLetâs get you cleaned upâ He whispered
As he was going to remove his fingers out of you, you consciously tightened around them. You lazily shook your head unable to articulate proper sentences that wouldnât lead you back on his cock again which ultimately failed, âWant your cockâ You slurred catching Jay off guard as he let out a strained cough
âWha-What was that doll?â
âI want your cock again sirâ
Like a switch went off in his head. Jayâs demeanor changed. Never knowing the single usage of sir could alter his mind forever. Instantly needing to give you moreâmore than anything you could ever ask for, wanting to spoil you rotten until you grow sick and tired of him.
He needs to fill you up until you possibly couldnât hold any more of his cum in you. Softly prying your legs open, he aligned himself at your entrance again gaining your attention at how he easily complied to your request. âNo need to ask me twice dollâ
. Ęâ âč . ĘË . Ę
The faint bristle of wind coming in through the slightly ajared window, the direct sunlight shining through caused Jayâs face to flinch before groggily opening his eyes with a low groan.
Normally, his daughter jumps on his bed to wake him from dreamless sleep during the weekends. Yet, it was different this time. He managed to wake up on his own to no ruckus but instead a peaceful morning.
Attempting to stretch out his limbs to release some of the tension and drowsiness from it, he stops when he hears the muffled grumbles and faint sound of crinkling sheets. Tilting his head to the side, there he saw you and his daughter basked in the sunlight right next to him.
His daughter coddled in between while you laid against his numb arm, both sound asleep. He fondly smiled to himself before placing soft kisses on each of your foreheads, careful to not stir either of you awake. This was all he could have ever dreamed of.
âMy beautiful girlsâ
ââ
#enhypen jay smut#enhypen smut#jay smut#park jongseong smut#park jay smut#enha smut#jay park smut#park jay x reader#park jongseong x reader#enhypen jay#enhypen x reader#jongseong smut
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But please, donât start a vote-swapping campaign. One or two people doing this doesnât upset the balance, but we canât rely only on blue states. Theyâre blue because the people in them vote blue. When the people in them vote red, theyâre not going to stay blue. Do you think the electoral college needs a real, good reason to go red? In 2016, we heard members of it say theyâd vote for Trump no matter what.
Itâs all well and good to hold out hope for swing states, and you should. But thatâs only because blue states already exist. Theyâre not permanentânothing is. Asking friends in blue states to protest vote for you in a swing stateâen masseâis not going to be a safe protest gamble. Itâs going to help push those states red. There are so many states that weâve talked about this year flippingâgoing from blue to red, or vice versa. That alone should tell us that no state is permanently blue. We need all the help we can get this election. Trumpâs policies are disastrous. Disastrous for any remaining Palestinian hope, disastrous for your friends and family.
Iâm not going to shame you or guilt you, because I know that doesnât work. Iâm just going to beg, and to try to rally yâall by reminding everyone of whatâs at stake. Iâm going to ask that for once we all do the hard work of actively making a morally grey choice instead of a morally tar-covered one. Vote for someone you dislike rather than who you hate. And donât rely on the NPR liberals of the world to get it done. Go out and do it, too. Push those swing states blue. BUT, more importantly, KEEP THOSE BLUE STATES BLUE.
Vote for the more progressive candidates, and you will slowly move our needle of normal towards where it should beâwhere Trumpâs pundits are truly fringe radicals screaming into AM radio microphones while Trump himself is the most D-list of all celebrities struggling to reboot The Apprentice on no budget for the fifth time. Let him succumb to a death of natural causes in the four years voting for Harris will buy us. Show the Trumpers that republicans and democrats, and even internet leftists, are more than willing to unite to drive them back. Show them that their petulant cries that promise freedom while openly offering oppression will no longer work. Force the Republican Party to pander and pander even more liberallyâto avoid to actually change their policies to fit a new and more progressive America. Reward the Democratic Partyâs mild strides towards less centrist policies by enshrining those policies into law with your vote. It really is as simple as telling the government what you want. Not just by writing a letter in protest, but by actually promising to give or withhold power from those who seek it.
So give your power to the lesser evil. I donât care what our teachers and political-ranting uncles told usâvoting is not about choosing who you think is best for the job, itâs choosing who is less awful. Because we donât live in a country where we get any other real choice besides two. And if you want that to change, youâre going to have to unify for the Democratic presidential candidates so you can properly block Trump from office. Because he and his party stand against ranked-choice voting.
They stand against bodily autonomyâfor women, men, enbiesâtrans and cis folks alike. They stand against Social Securityâthe one thing keeping some of our parents and grandparents (or ourselves) from having to give up any hope of retirement. They stand against childrenâs welfare. They stand against the American middle and lower class.
The republicans stand for Christo-fascist white supremacy that functions for the wealthy and those deemed manly enough. They stand for American neo-colonialism. They stand for Netanyahu.
If that ainât enough reason, just think about whether someone else could survive another Trump presidency. Think of someone who does because Doctorâs canât legally perform an abortion on them. Think of someone who gets sent to conversion camp because their dad thinks theyâre a little too effeminate. Think of someone whose place of worship is defiled with racist graffiti because the Trump Party has made that acceptable. And think of you. Can you really survive the country Trump wants to make?
I may be white, but Iâm queer. I have a uterus. Iâm going to selfishly vote for my own interests this year, and Iâm going to selfishly vote for the interests of my cousins, who are already growing up in a household where I fear what their dad may do if either of them show even a hint of queerness, or desire to leave home. I donât want them to be unable to escape. I donât want for myself to be unable to get an abortion or a hysterectomy because someone feels entitled to my ovaries. I donât want medically and socially transitioning to be even harder than it is. I donât want my other cousins and friends and my aunt to be subjugated into an America where the only thing they can be is dead and beaten, or chained up as baby-makers.
I donât want more lynchings. I donât want a more militarised police force. I donât want the Handmaidâs Tale, I donât want to go to a mega church, I donât want a world where Palestine is destroyed even beyond being razed to the ground. What else can I do but vote so deeply against him that there is no chance of him winning? What can I do but ask you to do the same?
John Oliver platforms Palestinian voices as he advocates for voting for Harris.
If you live in a swing state, please properly consider your role in this election. Remember to distrust the polls, the projections - the presidential election will be infuriatingly close. Nothing is set in stone.
Please think about your queer friends and family, your community that includes people of colour, disabled people, poor people, immigrants. Evaluate the true historical value of what a protest vote does - compare it to the two candidates, one of which will be the president at the end of this final stretch.
Your vote matters. Please, treat it like it does.
#us election#us politics#us presidential election#2024 presidential election#2024 us elections#vote blue#please donât abstain or vote for someone you donât think could actually win the popular vote
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ME OR THE PS5?
Synopsis: when you ask them, 'me or the ps5?' warnings đš fluff, skinship, petnames, angst if you squint your eyes, and kissing. Not proofread đđ»
(Ot7)
Nova notes: HIHI đ so this was this request! Thank you so much for the request! More posts coming soon! (I have exams please wait a bit) love yall đ
Heeseung (íŹìč)
"Babe, me or the ps5?" You asked, blocking Heeseung's vision of the TV. "Honey, move away please." He asks gently, not hearing your question. You huff as you move closer to him and sit on his lap, making him naturally snake his hands around you. "What is it, darling?" He asks you, still playing but not with much focus. "I asked, me or the ps5?" You repeated, a little irritated. Heeseung paused the game as he set the controller down. He looked at you with the most gentle eyes you've ever seen and strokes your hair gently, "you ofcourse. What kind of question is that?" He asked, voice low with an adoration tone that makes your heart skip a beat. "It's just... your always playing your games, it's like the games are your girlfriend not me." You explained your feelings as you feel Heeseung's hands tighten around you the more you speak. "Baby, I didn't know that, and I'm very sorry I made you feel that way... How about I make it up to you?" He says with soft eyes, taking in your pouting figure. "How?" You look up at him with big doe eyes that Heeseung has to take a moment before speaking again. "Tomorrow we're gonna have a date. Anywhere you want." He explains as you sit up straight on his lap, but now, with sparkling eyes. You nod quickly making Heeseung stifle an 'aw'.
Jay (ì ì±)
Jay was in the kitchen, cooking dinner and you were on the living room couch scrolling through tiktok. You came across a video of somebody dancing to the song 'ps5' and decided to ask the question to your unaware boyfriend. You trudged your way to the kitchen and stood behind him, wrapping your arms around his torso. "Carful, love. The pots hot." He said, the sound of a smile evident in his voice while stirring whatever was in the pot. "Me or the ps5?" You asked out of the blue, causing the boy to chuckle. "Been scrolling too much on tiktok?" He said with a teasing tone. You looked at the side of his face with wide eyes. "You know that song?" You whined, sad about your failed attempt. He nodded while turning off the stove and turning towards you to give you his full attention. "Just to ease your mind, I'd always choose you, my love." He whispered as he looked at you with adoration. With a giggle, you hide your face into his broad chest feeling it vibrate with the sound of his deep laughs. He kissed the crown of your head before swaying you side by side, the food completely forgotten.
Jake (ìŹì€)
"Love, me or the ps5?" You asked Jake who was extremely engrossed in the video game he's playing on the TV right now. "Hm?" He clearly did not hear your question making you huff and move closer. "Me, your girlfriend, or the ps5, a non-living object?" You specified as Jake turned to you slightly with a cheeky smile. "Baby, what kind of question is that?" He chuckled, still playing his game but his focus on you. "Just wanted to make sure." You said, not quiet satisfied with the answer. Jake lost the game on purpose and turned to you, who was subconsciously pouting. "Baby, I said you, why are you sad now?" He spoke in a soft tone, pulling you in his arms. "Oh, don't mind me, my period is in three days. This is just dramatic me." You explained, melting in his arms. Jake nodded as he rested his head above yours. "Well, I would always choose you, baby. No matter what." He spoke, voice low and filled with love. "Even more than layla?" You tested. "I'll think about it" He whispered making you both burst into laughter.
Sunghoon (ì±í)
Eyeing your boyfriend who was sat infront of the PC screen, playing a violent game with Heeseung and Ni-ki. You huffed and puffed trying to get his attention but it clearly came to no use. So you opted for gaining it yourself. You pulled out your phone and texted him 'me or the ps5?' And hit send. You can see Sunghoon's phone light up, indicating a message. He glanced at it and picked it up, eyes and focus still on the game. He quickly glanced at the message and furrowed his eyebrows. He looked back at you with the same expression. He muted his mic before speaking, "Baby, why are you texting me, I'm right here?" He asked as you smiled sheepishly. "Well, I tried, you just couldn't hear me.... what's your answer?" You gestured to the phone that is abandoned by sunghoon on his hand. "You. Always you." He said, still a tad confused, "come here." He said as you got off the bed with a sigh. You stood in between his legs and waited. "What did you think I was gonna choose?" He asked, looking up at you with his chin rested on your stomach. "Me." You said confidently making him crack a smile. Before Sunghoon could reply, you both can hear shouts from Heeseung and Ni-ki cursing out Sunghoon because he made then lose.
Sunoo (ìë)
"Baby, can I ask you a question?" You asked your boyfriend who was playing games on his phone. "Me or video games?" You asked, eyes hopeful. Sunoo paused his game and looked at you with narrowed eyes. "Is this a test?" He says, a small smile betraying his him. You shook your head. "Well.. you ofcourse. You're my girlfriend and I love you." He said and you can see it in his eyes. "Really?" You asked with a stupid smile. "Ofcourse." He exclaimed as he set his phone down and pulled you close to him. "I'd choose you any day, everyday." He whispered, softly kissing your temple. "Wanna go do our skincare together?" He asked after moments of silence. "Later. Let's just stay here for a while." You answered, not wanting to leave his warm embrace. He nodded as he pulled you closer, if that was even possible.
Jungwon (ì ì)
You were sat on Jungwon's lap while he was playing video games on his ps5. You were on the brink of sleep when a question popped in your head. "Hey, jungwon?" You whispered. He hummed, giving you most of his attention. "Me or the ps5?" You asked making him chuckle. "You ofcourse, darling. The ps5 doesn't even come close." He whispered back, kissing the nape of your neck lovingly. "Just making sure." You relaxed, even more, in his embrace. "Making sure of what, baby? I'd choose you over anything." He said looking at you with heart eyes making you hide your red face in the crook of his neck.
Ni-ki (ëí€)
Ni-ki was at his usual spot, on his gaming chair playing his games. Can't find him? Look in your shared bedroom, you'll find him there, eyes glued to the screen. "Ni-ki, quick question." You said, standing behind him with your arms wrapped around his shoulders. He hummed as a gesture for you to continue. "Me or the ps5?" You asked see the his smirk slowly making its appearance. "The ps5." He whispered so low you almost missed it. "What was that?" You asked, knowing he was just doing his daily teasing on you. "You, baby. Always you." He said with a chuckle, looking up at you with sparkling eyes. "That's what I thought." You said making him burst out laughing
Do not copy this post. Spam likes = blocked. Spaming and plagiarism are not tolerated. Respectfully follow these rules :)
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen au#enhypen x reader#enhypen reactions#enhypen angst#heeseung#heeseung x reader#jay x reader#jay#jake sim#jake x reader#sunghoon#sunghoon x reader#sunoo#sunoo x reader#jungwon#jungwon x reader#ni ki#niki x reader#hybe#belift#kpop#fluff#kpop x reader
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"so are you ovulating?" || ningning x succubus!reader
notes: i actually wrote this fairly quick, but finding the right pics for the moodbaoard actually pissed me off erm.. but first of all FIRST NINGNING FIC WE CHEERED (a/n i forgot to say this was a part two of the succubus!reader thing soooo hereâs the link!)
cw: tail sex (kinda), succubus!reader, top!ning, bottom!reader, mentions of a singular man
wc: 4k
after the âfeeding on your unnieâ incident that had happened a few months ago, your performance was phenomenal. with all that energy you gained from that one night, plus some extra other nights following from then with jimin unnie, it was as if your every move, every note and every emotion was amplified by tenfold. you were on fire and the audience could feel your passion for performance burning brightly with every stage you did.
your mentors and managers commented on how energetic you had been for the past couple of months, how your performances were absolutely phenomenal, the knetz werenât on your ass - which was surprising since almost half of them were all the time. the western fans said that you were, quote on quote,âserving cuntâ in the recent solo weverse live you did⊠whatever that meant. even your own members were surprised at how active you were throughought day and night.Â
but like everything in life, things werenât bound to stay all too well.
a few days ago you tripped on stage, and to make matters worse, it was in front of your fans. the audience heard a small little thud and spotted you on the ground looking at the ceiling for a few seconds before you stood up embarrassingly. luckily this was the first take, you had other opportunities to do your very best with the smidge of energy you had left.Â
knowing your fans, particularly your stans - either theyâd make a meme out of you spacing out on the floor, or, theyâd spam hashtags all over twitter saying âSM PROTECT YOUR ARTISTâ or something around those lines.
not only did that happen, but whilst you were preparing to record your lines in the studio, that familiar pain you would get whenever you were starved from energy came back ten times worse; it felt like you were being pierced in the stomach.
jimin noticed your pained expression and squeezed your shoulder in reassurance as she entered the recording room, but it kind of translated wrong in your head, causing you to moan out loud into the mic in front of your directors - not to mention you could hear yourself through the headphones echo. jimin chuckled lightly âwhatâs up with you?â then left the room a moment afterwords.
fast forward to the present day. a mundane and repetitive one. you had a photoshoot early in morning and a small meeting sometime in the afternoon and then you were free to do whatever you wanted afterwards. you thought that maybe some vocal lessons later in the evening would distract you, but you were pretty sure your vocal teacher was out with his husband drinking today. good on him, it buys you more alone time, and alone time makes you think about what to do about your situation.Â
on to more pressing matters, aka your raging desire for sex.Â
it randomly hit you hard while walking back from the company to your local seven eleven. you thought to distract yourself with buying a sweet treat for everyone, but instead you began to feel dizzy âouh.. this isnât goodâ there wasnât a bunch of groupies following you around the block to your own misfortune, and it was still bright outside.so what was there to do about that urge?
itâs not like you could message jimin unnie out of the blue and ask to fuck. where was the decorum? plus youâre in the middle of promotions, what if you drain too much energy that sheâs unable to perform the next day.
and it also didnât help that your internal monologue was fucking you up.
âshit, do i just ask the manager to⊠NO- ew what the hell am i thinking? heâs way older than me. nevermind. why did i think about that jesus christ.âÂ
your options were slim. it was either wait for night, go to the practice rooms and prey on a cute trainee, with consent of course - or go ask jimin unnie again and risk exhausting her even though you just started promotionsâŠÂ
you wondered who was at home right now.
you recalled ning going straight back home as soon as the meeting had finished. you could always ask? i mean she is your unnie after all, it wouldnât hurt to ask to her.Â
ah, but it would be awkward though. itâs not like when jimin unnie walked in on you tweaking out and then you had to shamefully ask her to âhelp you outâ. either way you had to go home and do something about it. being out in the open wouldnât be good for you anyway. anymore stress and you could lose your mind, probably going out of your way to do something that would be highly illegal, and you wouldnât wish that on anyone.
â
on the way home you couldnât suppress your excitement. you had already made up your mind to ask ning if you could, you know, do something nasty. multiple scenes were made up in your head. she could bend you over the table, press you against the wall and limit your restrictions with her pretty hands, or maybe she could shove your head into the pillow and pound into your desperate pussy.
as opposed to jimin, you never caught ning wound up in her own thoughts, nor staring at you in a sexual manner. whether it was pracitce, a stage, any event with the members, or an upcoming show, you had never caught her once. maybe she did look at you while you were dancing promiscuously as a joke. even so, her expressions were so nonchalant that even if she was, you would never be able to tell⊠though that thought alone excited you even more. who knows what her pretty little head was thinking about.
although jimin said to tell the other members about who you actually were to prevent you from being too awkward to ask your members for help, you refrained from doing so because well⊠youâre just like that, what else. how were you gonna do it anyway- hold a meeting in your apartment around the dining table and say that you need sex to stay active and alive? then what, theyâll eagerly accept the fact that you literally need to be inside of them, or vice versa, so you can get up on stage and preform as if it was a regular ass day.
those five minutes you spent daydreaming and thinking about telling your members were stopped abruptly by the door in front of you. when did the walk home become so quick.
then you started to think once again.Â
would ning be the type of person to go out of their way to help you? yes sheâs that type of person, however, does that mean she would willingly want to have sex with you⊠god, you donât know her âthatâ well. youâre close, close as how close a lifetime friend could ever be, but still, things would be weird if she ultimately says no to your request.
âyouâve been staring at the door for an awfully long time y/n. are you coming inside or do you want to stare at the door a little longer?â
fresh out of the shower, yizhuo greets you with a friendly smile followed by a giggle. her towel sticking against her body showing off the curves of her hips.Â
oh fuck, why does she have to be wearing that now.Â
âdid you just finish showering? also, girl⊠get back inside. what if someone sees you with just a towel onâ the aroma of your shampoo wafted through the air âyou smell goodâŠâ you all were tight on money this month, so you all shared things like perfumes, shampoos, pretty much all products you and the other members owned. each time either one of your members had applied your shampoo, god, you had such perverse thought about them, wanting to ravage them until they couldnât walk or even stand
âyeah i ran out of mine- and yours was newly opened so you knowâ she had been looking way too good recently, not saying that she never did look good, but there was something about her that made you feel extra desperate and needy. the wetness between your thighs spoke for themselves
âletâs go in. i need to talk to you quickly before my brain explodesâ yizhuo cocked her head in confusion, reluctantly following your lead, closing the door behind her as you walked into your guysâ apartment.Â
you followed behind her as she led you to your shared bedroom, looking up because you didnât want to turn yourself on even more by staring at her ass âwow, the ceiling looked nice. a pretty beige colour⊠what the hell am i doingâ you thought to yourself with a heavy sigh, looking back down and regretting it immediately. you noticed that yizhuo turned around as you locked eyes with the front of her cream coloured bath towel.
as perceptive as yizhuo was, she noticed a little black swish behind your back. she just played it off, too tired from all the practice, so she thought she was hallucinating a tail or something of the sorts.
now, being both the youngest and the least serious members of the group, you rarely ever had a heart to heart. to talk one to one with each other with the tone you had used, yizhuo mustâve thought that there was some topic you couldnât bring up with the eldest âhey whatâs up? itâs been a while since we last talked seriouslyâ her damp hair against her soft looking skin, the fresh scent of soap and the way she looked at you with worry in her eyes. it almost drove you off the edge. she was so tantalising that you almost missed your cue to speak.
âuh- um, you know how weâve been besties since i came to korea right?â
âyesâ
âand you know we said that weâd always tell each other anything right?â you glanced around the room, avoiding her gaze while your fingers unconsciously played with the fabric of her bedsheets.
âyesâŠ?â ning pondered for a while ââŠare you going to confess your undying love for me, is that what this is?â she cackled.
âWHAT? no, no- i think that might be less shocking than what iâm about to sayâ you take a deep breath in hopes to stifle the sound emitting from your booming heartbeat âokay so like, hypothetically speaking, would you have sex with any of the four of us?â for a god awful few seconds you sat tensely, waiting for yizhuo to say something.Â
âare you trying to redirect my attention from a more important question girl?â her eyes rested on your face, heartily laughing until she released you were being totally serious.Â
scratching your arm, you let out a sigh. it would be better to ask her directly wouldnât it âyou donât need to analyse me like that. i was just saying-â
you could charm her into agreeing, but in the long run youâd feel like a horrible person. charming a person came with moral problems, and you strictly told yourself that you would never do that to a person. ever. Â
âyizhuo⊠can we- can you do me a favour?â your stuttering caught her attention. you simply couldnât bring yourself to ask, itâs strange out of the blue.Â
âmhm mhm, what do you needâ
âyouâ
âme?â
âyes.â with every fibre of your being you held back a variety of different ways to scream out âJUST FUCK MEâ biting your lip to help fight back a blush. itâs odd to blurt out âim a succubus. letâs have crazy passionate intimate gay sex right here right nowâÂ
hold on- does she even know youâre a succubus? âlisten, itâs going to sound absurd and you probably think iâm not sober, but can you hear me outâ it was still weird to outwardly say that you were in fact this demon thing that sucks people dry, literally. saying it to jimin was no easy feat, but you were obviously losing your damn mind that day. and then you have the other two members too? now was not the time to think about what youâd do in the near future, you were hungry and yizhuo was right in front of you, practically naked âare you, by any chance, okay with maybeâ your gaze darted around the room before you locked eyes with her âmaybe having⊠sex? maybe?â
âohhh, okay i see how it is. youâre ovulatingâ she spoke with a dead serious tone.
you were losing your mind. you couldnât tell if she was fucking with you or not. but in all honesty, yizhuo did think you looked like you were ovulating with the way your thighs pressed together. yup, ovulating.
your heart began to race as you increasingly became desperate within seconds. you felt feverish, hot to the touch while your head throbbed. almost a whole two months without tending to your needs ended up with you succumbing to the symptoms âplease yizhuo. i need you to do something, anything- i feel like iâm gonna die actuallyâÂ
âwoah woaah, letâs calm down. youâre not gonna die silly. is it just-â yizhuo paused for a while, coughed and maybe even hesitated to say the word âsex. is that all? it canât be too bad. plus if itâs with you, i donât mindâŠâ yizhuoâs words were genuine. it put your mind at ease.Â
âyou donât understand though. itâs like⊠it- i donât knowâ you pout at her with the remaining energy left in your body âitâs alright- iâll ask other people, itâll be okayâ sluggishly pushing yourself off yizhuoâs bed.
âno no, i get it. you wanna relieve stress, i get itâ from what you could understand, yizhuo was trying her absolute best, trying to relate with your problem âweâve all been there. the company doesnât allow us to go out and meet other idols like that so it was eventually gonna happen. i mea-â
âitâs not about that, yizhuoâ your eyes darken, a desperate sigh emitting from your lips âah, whateverâŠâ with trembling hands, you held yizhuoâs in yours, momentarily silencing her as you sit back down on top of the smooth sheets of her bed âif youâre not okay with doing âthisâ, then will a kiss be okay?â there was a hint of softness to your voice, the rest shrouded with seriousness âit wonât be enough for me, but itâll keep me⊠sort of stableâ you shut your eyes as you press your forehead against hers, sharing the warmth âplease, thatâs all i ask forâÂ
she whispered âa kiss? i can do that. it seems fun.âning, inches away from kissing you, smiled sheepishly. her gaze drifted briefly towards your lips before finally shutting her eyes  âand if itâs with you i think iâll be okayâ Â
you took this as your opportunity to kiss her softly on the lips. a quick peck really. a surge of energy coursed through your veins for half a second before coming to a stop.
thatâs all the energy youâll take from her, and the most youâll take for the next couple of days âmmm⊠thank you yizhuoâ though it was a sweet couple of seconds before it broke off, the sweetness of her lips left a longing impression on you.
yizhuo asked for âone more kiss?â growing in confidence, she leaned into another, her eyes fluttering shut as she melted into your embrace. though you were unsure, you gave into the moment, savouring her delicate lips. her fingers tentatively reached for your shirt, grabbing you and pulling you in closer. as the kiss intensified, yizhuoâs hands journeyed down your back, directly pushing down so your chests were pressed together âdo whatever you wantâŠâ her breath hitched as you trailed down kisses from her jaw down to her neck, taking the time and effort to not accidentally leave a huge hickey there. you replied by pushing her back onto the bed, the loose towel that wrapped around body fell apart easily, exposing yizhuoâs pretty tits. she paid no mind, letting you do whatever you pleased.Â
âgod, youâre so prettyâ you climbed onto the bed, straddling yizhuoâs waist as you carefully removed your t-shirt.Â
she burned holes through your face, why was she staring so hard all of a sudden? âhow are your eyes are pink, y/nâ taken aback, she sits up and examines your face. she raised her hand and waved it in front of you âis this thing real?â tilting her head in confusion.Â
âit is real- mmh?â a jolt shoots right up through your spine and then down to your core out of nowhere. ning held your sleek black tail, rubbing her fingers against the weird leathery texture, caressing and prodding at your poor flimsy, slightly erect(?) tail, as you let out a soft sigh. âyizhuoâŠâ you mewl pathetically âthat- that feels weirdâ
âdoes it now?â her tongue darted out, licking the centre of your heart shaped tail with the ever so subtle tug at the corner of her lips âsensitive muchâ a couple more licks and kisses to your tail and you were pretty much done for.Â
time to time you forget that you have some sort of libido increasing, aphrodisiac power. the kiss you two shared may have affected her. well it definitely did. the increase of confidence radiating from the older girl was way different in comparison to her usual self. cause by now youâd expect her to be a little more gentle with you.
flipping positions, yizhuo held you down with her two hands with a devilish look on her face âif itâs sex you want, then iâll make sure to fuck you till your begging for me to stopâ her hand travelled down your tail, stroking it as if she was stroking your dick. never before had someone do something like that to your tail, but my god did it feel so fucking good.
she toyed with it, prodded and poked the tip of it and sucked it with her pretty pink and plump lips. the other hand cupped your chest, fondling over your boobs to get a feel for her own satisfaction âi could get used to thisâŠâ being on top of you, she had the advantage to do whatever she desired, and also because you were too weak to move at all âwhat do you want y/n? want me to fuck you with my tongue or my fingers. you chooseâ
you chose the latter.
throwing your head back onto the fluffed up pillows, yizhuo waisted no time and went to her destination. not one, but two fingers pushed deep inside of your pussy, stretching you out so good. her lustfully hooded eyes looked down at you, absorbing in the expressions of your pleasure contorted face âhowâs it feel? want me to add another for you baby?âÂ
unable to answer her question with words, you nod eagerly, wanting nothing but her fingers to fill you up. so she did, adding in a third finger since you asked to cutely with that nod of yours. now knuckles deep inside, that same devilish grin spread across her face. you unconsciously buck your hips up, smiling wearily at yizhuo âso.. so deepâ your moans urged her to immediately start moving. she started out nice and slow, curling her fingers at different intervals to squeeze out those lovely moans of yours. every thrust, she explored your spongy walls, testing out the waters to see which place hit the best for you. then as time went by, she gradually built up her pace until she came to her desired speed.
three fingered merciselessly pounded hard into your tight cunt, your juices leaking and dripping onto yizhuoâs bedsheets, and the sounds of your wetness leaving the chinese girl in awe. noticing the way your hips began to meet with her speed, her hand that played with your tail slowly slided towards them, holding you down by the stomach âlet me do all the workâ driven by your moans, she leans down to press a hungry kiss on your lips, then leaving a hot trail of kisses down from your neck and onto your perky nipples.
swirling around the hardened bud on your chest, a guttural moan catches her attention âyou like it when i suck on your tits, huh?â her thumb pressed against your swollen clit as she muttered those words, all the while still paying attention to your sensitive tits. she enjoyed the way you tried to wriggle your hips in attempts to move them, and how your hands clutched the sheets with pure desperation. she felt hazy, maybe a little bit tipsy somehow, but all she wanted to do was fuck you until you were screaming her name.
as her fingers continued to slide against your walls, hitting the right spots at an intense speed, you felt a knot form in your stomach. you were so desperate for relief, needing to buck your hips into her palm to get that sweet friction you felt on your clit, but she didnât allow you to do that; her hand still resting on your stomach to stop you from squirming âyi-yizhuo~â you whined, teary eyes staring at her with a pitiful look âplease yizhuo.. r-rub my clit please~â
and who was she to deny you.
though she didnât do exactly what you wanted, she did something way more better. moving away from your nipples, she lowered herself down onto the bottom of her bed to shove her face right between your thighs. tongue darting out her mouth, she gives a few kitten licks on your clit, savouring the sweet essence of your pussy for a starter. those tiny kitten licks turned into something much more. the tip of her tongue circled against your heat, occasionally wrapping her lips around to give you a quick suck before continuing to lap your soaked folds up to your sensitive clit.Â
the stimulation drove your crazy. you never knew that yizhuo was so skilled at this. still thrusting those three fingers inside of your now pulsating cunt, at the hot and wet kisses and licks she left on your clit, she knew - and you knew, that you were on the verge of toppling over the edge. but it wasnât enough for her âis that good, hm? does my needy baby want me to fuck her harder?â yizhuo somehow had the strength to speed up, fucking your hole as she moans at how well youâre taking her.Â
those words vibrated from your core and sent shivers across your spine, leaving goosebumps all over your skin - in which also made you clench around her fingers.Â
fuck, it was way too damn good. you felt your legs shaking, jaw opening wide, stomach tightening and that course of hot pleasure travelling through your entire nervous system âclose- close yizhuo.. donât stopâ your words came out slurred, a few unintelligible praises and swears being ripped out of the back of your throat as you felt yourself on the edge.Â
with one final deep and hard thrust, your jaw slacked open as your orgasm was pulled out from your body, legs twitching and spasming as you repetitively screamed out yizhuoâs name alongside even more praises. for a minute your body fell limp against the bed, exhausted from the mind blowing orgasm yizhuo gave you, and also from the built up stress you had from promotions.
now full of the sexual energy you gained from yizhuo, you spring upwards, patting yizhuoâs head gently ât-thank you⊠i feel refreshedâŠâÂ
the older girl finally sat up after she cleaned you up. wiping her face and chin from the juices that dripped all the way down, she flashed you a smile âwith that tail of yours, and those pink eyes, youâve got to be a succubus⊠right? to answer her question, you nodded, cheeks red from her straightforwardness.Â
ây-yeah. youâre right⊠wanna go again?â
âonly if i bottom nextâ
#wintersera#ning yizhuo smut#ningning smut#ningning x reader smut#ningning x fem reader smut#aespa smut#aespa x reader smut#kpop smut#kpop girl group smut
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Heya!
Things are lookin rough right now, huh? But here are a few reminders:
Your blorbo will still be here tomorrow.
You have people who love and care and support you.
Policies and enactments will not all be immediate. Everything will not go to shit all at once.
Things getting harder doesnt mean they're impossible.
It's okay to be upset. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to cry. That does not make you weak.
I know there are some individuals like me who did not feel safe voting due to outside factors, like living with individuals who support trump or being disabled, do not blame yourself. (Excuse me for getting personal, yes I do want to move out. Very badly. Sadly my mental and physical health are not in a space to do so yet).
This is the last term he is allowed in office. After that, I can't help but think about how the more extremist supporters- would they even want to vote? Idk. But it's food for thought. Safe to say the voter turnout for either side was insane compared to previous years, if we keep that stride up, I honestly think and hope the democrats are almost guaranteed the next election. But this is just me blabbing.
Block tags you aren't in the mindset for seeing rn. It's okay, no one is going to villainize you when the election process is giving you a panic attack. If they try, ignore them. This is for you, not them.
We've survived through one term. We can survive through another. I know it feels difficult right now while thinking about things like access to healthcare or prices skyrocketing or job security, but we really have. Things will get better. We will push through.
Here are some ideas that might help with mental health right now:
Eat some of your favorite food
Look up pictures of your favorite animal
Watch some funny or wholesome videos
Go for a walk
Exist. Because sometimes that is enough
Positive affirmations
Schedule an appointment with your therapist if you have one
Drink water. Or dont! Maybe drink a different thing that you like.
Remind yourself that these feelings will pass.
They cannot steal your identity from you. Internally, you know who you are. Even if you're still figuring it out. They can't take your mind. Your thoughts.
To those like me dealing with finals right now. Its okay. Take that break.
I love u /p
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People who project real feelings onto not real characters, only to then attack real people with genuine feelings, aren't okay...
Friendly reminder: Block button exists. If there's content you don't like or that triggers you for whatever reason, just block and move on with your life.
You have every right not to share the same tastes or to hold different opinions, but attacking and harassing people, regardless of their preferences (even taboo ones), is not and will never be a legitimate right. There are taboo concepts of fictional pairings that I personally dislike as well, but I would NEVER think of attacking the artist behind the drawing. I simply ignore and move past that kind of content; I donât waste my time on things I donât like. Others are free to block if they want; thatâs what the block button is for, and they have every right to use it. But you will never become a better person by spending your time attacking others on the internet over fictional content, whether it's characters, pairings, dark fictional stories.
They arenât real, so stop overthinking it. Learn to distinguish reality from fictionâon both sides.
This just in
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Spiralling Inside
Azriel x Reader
Summary: Spiralling into your head is damaging, and thereâs only one person who can help you.
Word count: 1.3k
Warnings: a little bit of angst, fluff
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Loneliness isnât a feeling the soul is supposed to feel, to experience.
Itâs isolating, whether it's self-inflicted or out of one's control, it can break you. It feels like no one can save you from that feeling. How do you know that someone will help you out of the feeling, and stop you from spiralling all over again?
You donât know. Thatâs the scary part, youâre supposed to have faith. Trust wholeheartedly in someone that they won't make you feel like that ever again.
The kind of trust youâre supposed to have with yourself. So what happens when you canât even trust your own brain from thinking of all the worst scenarios? Make you think that everyone hates you. That youâre not worthy of loving friendships. You are not good enough. They are only around you because they pity you.
They hate me. A common thought for an overthinker, a hurt person. No one wants those words swirling around their head.
Even while talking one-on-one with someone, a friend, it feels as if your mind is making you feel like they are only interacting with you because they feel bad for you. Like they know how lonely you are.
A larger event is even worse because you are alone. Everyone has someone to talk to, to be with. Someone to call their own. You donât.
The same people who call you family are the ones who seem to forget youâre standing beside them, because âyou are so quiet.â Why say something if it doesn't add to the current topic? So you keep quiet, keep to yourself.
Not one person notices when you spiral when you get so deep in your mind that you canât claw your way out. Canât silence those voices. Except for one person.
Azriel. Your person. Your other half. Your mate. And while standing in the middle of the Night Courtâs ballroom, with your family, talking to each other, he notices.
You suppose thatâs one of the upsides to him being the spymaster. He notices you. He sees you.
âAngel?â His soft voice reaches your ears before he appears in front of you. Blocking your view of the rest of the world. So it's just him.
A scarred but gentle hand reaches for yours, subtly pulling out of the crowded room. You only notice you have moved when a cooling breeze brushing your face. Azrielâs hands are on you next, cupping your face so gently that an on-looker might think he is holding the most precious jewels.
âMy love?â You finally meet his gaze, his swirling jade and amber eyes. Holding his emotions out on a silver platter for you. Only for you.
He watches your brows pinching, silver lining your eyes, features twisting in guilt and sadness. âIâm sorry.â The defeat in your voice physically pains him. His features softening, thumbs swiping the tears that fall unwanted.
âNo. You have nothing to be sorry for.â The conviction in his dulcet voice helps to slowly pull you from your self-deprecating shell. An arm wraps around your waist, pulling you into a tight embrace, his other hand moves to the back of your head, cradling you to the crook of his neck, smothering you in his scent. Your arms wrap around him quickly, so tight as if youâre worried heâd disappear. And based on where your thoughts are right now, your mind thinks he very well might.
The scent that helps ground you. A fact you had told him early on in your relationship, even before you mated. A fact he kept in the very forefront of his mind for moments exactly like these.
Deep breaths tickle his throat. Breathe in as much of him as you can. If only you could fuse with him. You wouldnât ever have to be away from him.
A calloused hand runs through your hair soothingly. His other hand rubbed up and down your back, in the way he found helped calm you the most. Pressing featherlight kisses to your forehead and temple. Whispering sweet nothings into your skin.
âWhat happened, angel?â Feeling the rumble of his words as he speaks, vibrating into your own form. You shrug in response. âJust got in my head.â Words muffled against his neck.
You pull away from his neck, a huff leaving you at how much of your hair is in your face from the movement. A watery laugh leaves you as Azriel tries to push it out of your face. A loving smile tugs at his lips at the endearing sound.
Once it's out of the way, you look up at your mate through wet lashes. Your cheeks flushed and tear-stained. âThere she is.â His voice is so adoring it makes your heart skip a beat. His hazel gaze searches your face, looking for what, you donât know.
âIâm fine, Az. I just-âA heavy sigh leaves you as you try to verbalise your thoughts. âI just started thinking too much when they turned away from me, which I know sounds self-conceited and narcissistic but-â your rambling gets cut off by Azrielâs mouth meeting yours. Releasing a contented sigh as you sink into the kiss. So full of love and feelings that canât be put into words.
He pulls away just enough to rest his forehead against yours, his hands cupping your face once again. âI know you, my love. You are the most selfless, intelligent, and kindhearted person I have ever met. And yes your brain works against you sometimes, but that does not make you self-conceited or narcissistic. You cannot beat yourself up over something you canât control.â He presses a featherlight kiss to the tip of your nose. âThey all love you. Donât let your mind tell you otherwise. They are around you because they want to be.â
You feel your bottom lip tremble under the weight of his words. âI love you. More than anything, more than what should be possible. Youâre my mate.â A kiss to your forehead âMy other half.â Another kiss to the corner of your mouth. âI love you, my angel.â A lingering kiss to your lips.
Your hands slide up his arms to rest on top of his wrists. Only pulling away when air is needed. Turning your head to brush a kiss to the palm of his hand. Pulling his hand from your face to thread your own with them.
âI love you with my whole being Azriel. More than youâll ever know.â Voice raspy from your tears, but so sincere a smile pulls at his lips. Pressing one more kiss to the crown of your head before taking a single step back to get a proper look at you.
âDo you want to go back in there, or go home?â Tone still gentle. A small shake of your head. âWe should go back in.â He nods, moving to step back towards the ballroom. But a tug of his hand stops him, immediately looking for something wrong in your expression, but a smirk tugs at your lips. âHow does my makeup look?â
A snort leaves him, and he brushes a thumb under your eye before leaning back dramatically to get a better view, a giggle leaving you at the movement, a boyish grin taking over his face at the sound. âLooks perfect. Just like you, my love.â Wrapping an arm around your waist, leading you towards where you left the rest of your family.
As they come back in view, smiles light up their faces, but your focus is pulled back up to the male at your side. He smiles down at you as Mor and Feyre start gossiping about something they had heard from one of the courtiers.
Leaning into your mate's warmth as you listen to their rambling. You know youâll be just fine as long as you have Azriel by your side.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
a/n: I know this isn't part five for a new place, but I've personally been over thinking quite a lot recently, and once i started writing this it just kept flowing. so this is dedicated to all my overthinkers. hoped you enjoyed <3
#azriel Ă reader#azriel x y/n#azriel x you#azriel x reader fluff#azriel fluff#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#acotar x reader#acotar
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âI need to confess. I told you a lie. I said you were the love of my life.â | LN4
part 2 of this.
Parings: Lando Norris x Ex!Bisexual!Reader.
Summary: after leaving Lando, you realized what real love was like. Unfortunately, he didnât and all he could think about every time he looks at his new parter is you.
Now playing: âLâAMOUR DE MA VIEâ by Billie Eilish.
Word count: +2k.
Warnings: angst (?) insults (?) cursed words. Not a native English speaker so there could be (so many) errors. Not proofread.
Authorâs note: maybe this sucks. well I donât know but I just came to this idea for a part 2 no one asked of this but yeah. Reader deserved a happy ending â€ïžâđ©č Donât forget to like, comment or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)
MASTERLIST
Itâs been 10 months since the worst day of your life. The day you had enough of the place that you werenât enough for. The place who made you so miserable and insecure. The place that broke you in so many pieces it turned you to dust. The place where you never want to go back to.
Itâs been the hardest 10 months of your life. Mourning the life you thought you would have forever was the worst process you got yourself through. How you had to not only get over your ex, Lando, but also the you that wasnât gonna be you anymore for the rest of your life. And that was the hardest past. Let go of who you were when he was in your life and let go of all the memories. It was like learning to be a functioning human being again. And you also thought you couldnât bear with being single. You felt so ashamed of not remembering how to approach people or even how to feel attractive yourself. You were nothing after that day.
For your family and friends was heartbreaking too. Not only because they had to mourn lando that now was out of your life so then their lives as well, but also the you they knew before and during the relationship. And now learning to know this new you.
It was hard for the first 3 months but thanks to your friends and intense therapy sessions you eventually got better. You started discovering a part of yourself you didnât know existed. Leaving lando changed you not 180 degrees but 360. You changed your style, your hair, your humor, your attitude. You spoke up. Had a strong opinion. You started being more selective with people and for a long time you remained single. you worked on you. Trying to give yourself back everything that relationship took away. You made new friends and moved to New York to start a new life. In that city you found you loved music and storytelling so you started a musical career on YouTube and became kind of famous. You also went to university. And now youâre a content creator, you upload vlogs of your everyday life and opinions. You love fashion like crazy and post your outfits on Instagram and TikTok along with your music. And you are back into being happy. Not only with your life but with yourself. You love who you are and what you do for a living. Thereâs no one you have to follow or leave everything behind. You live now in your own world where you are the thing that matters the most. You feel so grateful you made it through.
But you were also madly loved for who you are. Tania was your new girlfriend. You didnât even know you liked girls as well. You tried with guys but none of them felt right for you until you met Tania in a little music shop two blocks away from your apartment. It was the most romantic way of meeting someone you believed. You two went to the same shop to buy the same album and oh coincidence of life there was only one copy of it. And thatâs how you met. She gave it to you and so you offered her to come to your place and listen to it together. Yeah you offered that to a stranger but she looked so beautiful. You felt something so weird you havenât ever felt before in your life. His blonde hair so shiny and his brown eyes so deep you could drown in them with no problem. She was gorgeous.
In fact, you never felt so seen until you met her. The way she actually listened to what you had to say. The way he understood your insecurities and tried to help you and figure it out together. The way you could laugh for hours non-stop until you went dry from crying of laughter. When you felt how you felt with her you knew Lando didnât matter at all. He never loved you for who you were. He never appreciated all of the sacrifices you did for him just because you thought you loved him your entire life. The way you listened and supported him anywhere, anyhow, whenever. You gave everything for him, but what about you? He never noticed you. He never saw you. He never cared about you.
Realizing that hurt at first but then you understood it was the wrong person at the wrong time. Because if you hadnât been through what he put you through then this wouldnât be your life and you wouldnât be this loved.
But you know what they say, lifeâs a bitch so here you were again in Monaco for Alexandraâs birthday. It was gonna be a huge event in a yacht for all of her friends. So of course you knew lando was coming and you also knew because of Alex he had a new girlfriend as well. You werenât intimidated by him but you felt a little insecure you know. You felt rather uncomfortable. But Alex was your friend and she was so nice she invited Tania as well and few of your hometown friends so you wouldnât feel left apart. Alex knew you so well. You always have struggled with fitting in. She was really sweet. But at the same time you were also so excited to see the guys again. You talked to Pierre and kika. They were so excited to see you. You missed them all of course you did. Moving countries and having an ex who drives along them made things ticky. It was complicated to meet and hang around outside weekend races during the year and of course you wouldnât assist knowing lando was there. You didnât want to see him. So tonight is fireproof. If you see him again and survive then the paddock should get ready to see you every now and then with you gorgeous girl.
She knew about Lando of course. And she was the most supportive angel to you. Of course she also hated him. And probably could kill him if you let her. But she wonât just because you asked her.
you were going by taxi. You didnât have your car because you were on the other side of the world and you wouldnât waste money renting one just to go to a party in a yacht. You didnât care about appearances anymore. You got to the harbor just in time. Most of the invited guests were already there. You got there with Tania in your hand and your group of friends. You looked around seeing so many familiar faces and the first one to run to you and hug you tightly was Kika followed by Pierre. You giggled on her shoulder hugging her as well.
âOh my god girl you look fucking beautiful what the fuck I missed you so muchâ she said on your shoulder so excited to see you. It flattered your heart.
âI missed you too, my loveâ you said sweetly. And when you pulled apart you hugged Pierre and introduced Tania to them. They were always so warm. You really missed them. A few minutes passed and you were talking along with a lot of the formula 1 drivers and their partners just like the old days. You felt so part of it. And so loved. And all of them were so nice to Tania. She was so excited that she met Max and he posed for a picture with her that it melted your heart completely. You didnât see lando by the way. He hasn't arrived yet. But Carlos didnât either so probably they were coming together. After 15 minutes, the birthday girl finally arrived with her prince in hand and all of the guests were there. The yacht was ready as well. Lando was there with her. You knew her of course you did. She was friends with Max and Kelly. Of course you remember her. Lando is so predictable. You wanted to laugh in his face but you didnât. You didnât even say hi. You didnât want to and you guess he didnât either because he barely looks at you when he arrived.
(âŠ)
The party was formidable and you were already drunk laughing and posing. Kika was trying to take a couple of pictures of you and Tania and the sunset behind you. It was a beautiful picture.
âOh my god youâre so beautifulâ she said finally ending the photo shoot so she showed you the pictures.
It felt so satisfying being back and not giving a fuck about Lando. All of the guys were so welcoming and sweet like they always had been with you.
Tania had to go to the bathroom. âYou want me to go with you titi?â You called her by her nickname you created. She smiled and gave you a kiss on your lips.
âIâm okay baby. Iâll be right backâ she said and after giving you one last kiss she disappeared through all of the people around heading to the bathroom. You stayed with your group of friends dancing around and having fun. Alex was there two sharing with all of us. You loved that woman. She was one of your closest friends who was there with you to hold you and listen. She knew what it was like. But she is loved unlike you werenât. You were enjoying yourself until you heard someone clearing their throat like exaggerated. You turned to find lando clearly drunk looking at you with puppy eyes yet so dark. You of course didnât like to see him.
âY/n we need to talkâ he said almost in a whisper so no one could hear him but you. Inside you felt disgusted. His voice was once your favorite sound, one that could send chills down your spine. Now it kinda repulses you.
âNo, we don't need Lando. Just pretend I donât existâ you said clearly upset by his behavior.
âBut I canât y/n. I couldn't stop looking at you since I arrived. I canât get you out of my head. I tried. But I donât know what else to do!â He was clearly drunk. And you were unbothered to be honest. You noticed Carlos and Oscar heard him and looked at you. You just rolled your eyes at lando.
âThen itâs not my fucking problem lando. You had me but you couldnât give a damn about me. Sorry it's too late. Iâm happy now and I am lovedâ you spitted about to turn when he grabbed your arm for you not to go.
âYou said I was the love of your life. What happened to that? I know youâre the love of my life. Please, y/nâ he said kind of desperately. You looked at him with a poker face. You felt nothing at all. And yes you were surprised but also so proud. Lando Norris meant nothing at all finally. He couldnât move you. He didnât have power over you anymore. You won.
âWell then I need to confess I lied. You werenât the love of my life Lando. You were the motherfucker of my life. You fucking destroyed me. So stop with all of this bullshitâ you said Angry. You were saying the truth without being afraid of it. You didnât care anymore. Now your life is yours and he had no power over it. And youâre fucking happy. You just needed to make sure he knew it. And watch him suffer. And you could see something broke inside of him when he heard you saying that. Fortunately Tania came back from the bathroom just in time.
âY/n, babe, is everything alright?â She asked, watching lando a little confused but controlling her desires to kill him right there.
You smiled at her. âYeah beba all good now that you are hereâ you said, grabbing her by her waist and kissing her gently. She grabbed your face a little surprised at first. But she couldnât say no to your lips. She was addicted. you didnât care lando was there. You just kissed and turned to your group of friends ignoring that he was the guy you loved just like he did when he was with you.
#my work!đ§#lando norris#lando norris angst#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando x y/n#lando norris fanfic#lando norris x female reader#lando norris imagine#lando x you#lando x reader#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#ln4 x reader#ln4#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 fanfic
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ft. logan howlett, ororo munroe, laura kinney, wanda wilson, wade wilson, kurt wagner, jean grey, scott summers (separate) x f! reader â xmen, marvel
â°â⧠how they are when you are on your time of the monthâ1k words
contains: some smutty topics for logan & jean, periods and all the complimentary side effects obviously because itâs so generous ahahahahaaaaaaaaa
†author's note: oh how i hate being a woman at times, if only some strong mutants could come to life and help ease the sufferingâŠ
letâs get this out of the wayâ yes, logan howlett can smell it and is able to tell when youâre on our period. in fact, heâs even able to sniff out the difference between the blood from menstruation and the blood from injuries. heâs been⊠âaround the blockâ to put it lightly, he knows what you are going through, will be nice about it, and will use his experience to help care for you. he wonât be as sassy as he usually is even if you are a bit snappy, heâll get extra food and put aside snacks for you, and heâll give you as much or as little space as you want. also very willing to eat you out or cuddle-fuck you during it, being a little messy doesnât faze him and heâs probably done nastier. 8/10, heâll help you get through it without any complaint.
ororo munroe knows when your cycle is coming before you do, she keeps track of it and is on duty to take care of you the second you wake up with that uncomfortable feeling in your panties. sheâs already inside the bathroom attached to your room running a warm bath completely with bath bombs and flower petals, ready to carry you into the water, and to strip your bedsheets for a wash if they get stained. thereâs even a cute little wicker basket full of candies and drinks on your bedside with a stuffed animal she brought from target sitting on your bedside. it may seem excessive to some for something that happens every month, but she believes the effort is worth it if it means easing your pains. 10/10, sheâs an angel descended from heaven in your eyes.
both of your dads are pretty useless (worst! logan is less knowledgeable than his original counterpart) on the topic and althea gives you a piece of chocolate at most, so you and laura kinney need to take care of each other when shark weeks come around. so many cuddles, kisses, and movie nights while snacking because cravings are a bitch. sheâll pat you on the back and rub your shoulders, muttering little âi know, princess, i knowâ as you whine. donât even think of moving if youâre in a position like that, sheâll run around the house to get you pain relievers and a hot water bottle. 9/10, sheâs such a wonderful girlfriend.
not sure why, but i feel like you and wanda wilsonâs periods would sync a lot? anyhow, itâs a nightmare dealing with mood swings, cramps, and cravings all while taking care of babypool, so thereâs a general rule not to take anything seriously during those days because youâre both sensitive and irritable. once itâs all over though, youâre back in each otherâs arms and apologizing for anything that might have been said or done (nothing serious happened, itâs just something like âiâm sorry for saying that in an off tone and making you think i was mad at youâ). 5/10, could be a lot better but the days afterward are kinda like honeymoon bliss again.
wade wilson is the biggest shit of them all, he definitely says âand thatâs on periodâ every time he finds out, calls you his little ketchup bottle, sends you period cramp moodboards which are just poorly cropped photos of him in the deadpool suit doubled over in pain from a fightâ however, he will make you laugh so hard youâll cry and forget about the ache in your body. 2/10 in terms of helpfulness but 10/10 in terms of funny jokes and conversations.Â
youâll give poor kurt wagner a heart attack every time you whine out in pain and curl up on the couch, clutching onto your stomach and contorting about to find a comfortable position. despite the promises from yourself and everyone else that you will be fine as the aching feeling is temporary, he canât help but bite his nails from worry. the suffering of people with a uterus will never cease to shock him, they really have to bleed freely like that for a few days every month? he will not leave you alone and is going to treat your every request like an order from royalty. anything you want, you get, and no amount of assurance is going to convince him he doesnât have to do all that, so you might as well enjoy it while youâre moody and suffering.Â
jean grey is one of those people who just donât have period cramps and still glows despite it all which you are so fucking jealous of. that being said, sheâs the best person to be around when it hits. since sheâs basically the mansionâs school nurse, she always has snacks, water, pads/tampons of every variety, and pain relievers on hand with so much bounty that she never seems to run out. as your girlfriend, sheâs also willing to be a bit sneaky and write you a doctorâs note to get you out of classes regardless of if you are a teacher or a student. sheâs also down to fuck even if youâre on your period since she knows orgasms are proven to lessen the pain and sheâll also massage your tits if they are feeling tender (and because she likes your chest no matter the size). 9/10, she can be a bit busy at times but is perfect aside from that.
please hold hands with scott summers and go with him when picking out pads/tampons, he will get overwhelmed by the amount of options and panic buy one of everything. what are wings? liners? whatâs the difference between yellow and green, is it lemon or lime? he might forget that youâre more sensitive during these times and slip a comment into a conversation that would make you cry when it usually makes you laugh, but heâll remind you to stay hydrated, will go out of his way to buy you brownies from your favorite bakery, and will smother you in cuddles.Â
#đ. her works#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#ororo munroe#ororo munroe x reader#storm x reader#laura kinney#laura kinney x reader#wanda wilson#wanda wilson x reader#ladypool#ladypool x reader#kurt wagner#kurt wagner x reader#nightcrawler#nightcrawler x reader#jean grey#jean grey x reader#phoenix x reader#scott summers#scott summers x reader#cyclops x reader#x men#x men x reader#marvel#marvel x reader#deadpool and wolverine
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Iâve had quotes from a show that I find funny that I really wanted to do but then went through the list of all the books I used for the blog and couldnât find a quote that fit so I move on or save it for a book that fits the quote in the future.
However, Iâm not perfect and we may have different interpretations of a character. I would like to point out that I started this blog for two reasons. 1. I had a really good quote for Matthew from Anne of Green Gables and saw that nobody else had thought of the idea so I decided to do it myself. 2. I needed something low stakes to do that I enjoyed and would help me destress. It really doesnât hurt anyone else and Iâm not making money off of it. I also tag all my incorrect quotes. If you donât like it please just block the tag.
i hate incorrect quotes they're all so fucking (pauses because i realize how stupid what im about to say is but can't think of anything else to say) incorrect.
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I know they do this shit to get a rise and be "cool" or whatever tf they strive to be, but this shit is just uncalled for. Imagine Ryan commented on a Buddie edit and bucktommy fans said this shit to him. There's no reason for it. Block him. Move on. Stop watching the show. Just stop being so predictable and embarrassing.
These are responses to lou commenting on a post with a bucktommy edit. All he said was:
SO GOOD! Thank you Jackie!
These reactions are why actors start getting fed up with certain fans. It's also why people leave fandom because it's just so constant and overwhelming.
#nquesu wanna block#911 abc#911 discourse#911 show#lou ferrigno jr#nquesu want receipts#cw death threats#bestie boos tweet#lou hate
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Listen, we lost.
The US wasn't ready for it's first female president, and in reality this country wasn't ready to think. People who voted for Trump, people who abstained, people who voted third party. I'm sorry to say but they did not think. I disagree with Harris on a LOT of things. But I also see Trump for who he is, a wannabe dictator. Project 2025 is soft-core Mein Kampf, and Trump is ready to metaphorically suck the dicks of Putin and Kim.
To anyone not from the US who sees this, I'm sorry. I did my best, I voted, and I tried to explain and get others to vote with their critical thinking glasses on just like I did. It wasn't enough. I get if you are mad at the US, though, this world is so fucked and having a global superpower turn even more extreme right wing than it already was is, as they say, Not Great. I'm annoyed too.
I'm not proud of my country. I'm not proud of my generation who according to news outlets based their votes off of Kamala Harris not appearing on the "Joe Rogan Podcast". I'm proud that my state stayed Blue, but I'm disappointed in everything else we did as a country tonight.
But we move forward. I can't let hatred get the best of me, and I hope my fellow Americans do the same. Hatred doesn't do anything. Pandora let Hatred out, she left us with Hope.
I can Hope that the midterm elections will swing back to blue. I can Hope that one day I will see a woman in office. I can Hope that this nation's checks and balances do their fucking job and stop a fascist regime. I can Hope that our system will see change, but in the reality that it doesn't I can Hope that at least a few abstainers or third parties learned their lesson on how this fucked up government system works and that it simply is not a valid option for change.
But at the end of the day, Tumblr is still Tumblr. Tomorrow I'll freak out if Stranger Things actually releases something. I'll see fanart of a video game I like and I'll reblog it. We'll keep doing our thing, and we'll keep carving out the change we need to see from the ground up. I will keep fighting and I know you guys will too.
Also let's not spam the Destiel meme, it's a bit too sobering an occasion for those gay(?) dudes.
#us politics#kamala harris#united states#usa politics#usa news#america#I just want to get this off my chest so I can personally move forward#I will block any negativity that comes to this post
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The Blue Glow
â premise: What starts as late nights spent helping Paige through heartbreak slowly shifts - until youâre left wondering if friendship was ever the right word.
â word count: 4k
Itâs just past two when you hear the key rattle in the front door, followed by the soft creak as it swings open. Paige, your roommate, usually comes home late on Fridays, a little buzzed or maybe high after a night with her teammates or her girlfriend. Youâre used to hearing her stumble in, her laughter still lingering from whatever fun sheâd been having, always fading into the quiet of the apartment.
You call her name, waiting for her confirmation. Sheâs the only one with a key, but saying her name and hearing her respond feels safe, like a habit youâve formed without thinking. Silence. You lean back in your chair, letting your game screen idle as you peer through the small crack in your door.
You wait a moment, letting the silence of the apartment settle around you before it's broken by the unmistakable shuffle of her kicking off her shoes, the soft thud of her door and then steady beat of music seeping from her room.
You turning back to your desktop and unpausing your game. Your fingers move across the keyâ board, killing pixelated monsters and yet still, your mind crawls back to 20 minutes ago, when Paige walked in.
Were you supposed to knock on her door and ask if she was okay? Basic roommate etiquette would assume so, but it's not as though you and Paige were buddy-buddy. Sure, you'd chilled together a few times to catch up on Netflix's latest murder doc and yeah, she'd invited you to one or two of her teammate's afterparties (none of which you'd gone to, instead you offered polite decline that assured she really didn't need to ask you again).
At most, you and Paige were just in each other's orbit. Nothing more than two girls attending the same university who got placed together in an apartment just off-campus.
The clock ticks to 3:15, and finally, the music fades into silence. Sheâs probably asleep now. You tell yourself to focus on your game, but your gaze drifts to the wall, your thoughts lingering on her room just a few feet away. Honestly, youâre not sure why youâre still awake.
***
Youâre unpacking your groceries when you notice herâPaige, sprawled out across the couch like sheâs trying to disappear into it. Her hoodie is pulled low over her face, but you can still make out the outline of her eyes, locked on you the moment you glance in her direction.
"You good?" You ask, feeling the need to soften your voice - something in your body tells you to tread carefully.
She yawns, stretches, and when she speaks, her voice is thick with sleepârougher than usual, like she hasnât quite woken up. âYeah, just a bit fucked up.â
There's something in her tone that gives you pause like she's daring you to dig deeper. You hesitate. It sounds bad to say, but you've always liked the unspoken agreement between you two - the comfortable distance, once again, like planets moving in the same orbit but never touching.
You take the bait. "What's up?"
She pushes herself up, so she's now resting on her elbows, âAri fucking broke up with me."
The two had seemed to be one of the few couples who could go the distance. In the few games you attended, you'd seen her girlfriend always present, aptly draped in a number 5 jersey titled 'Bueckers'. As far as college relationships went, it seemed like love.
"Oh." It's all you manage to say at first, unsure of how to respond. Were you supposed to hug her?Â
Paige drops back onto the couch, covering her face with her hands. "Yeah, oh."
"And it's final?" You ask, "Cause, it's never really over, over. It's probably -"
"She blocked me," she cuts in, still deep within the recesses of her hoodie. "She probably blocked me the moment I left her place ... I've messaged her and called her but it goes straight to green or voice mail."
You nod, once again unsure of what to say next. You'd don't have to think because Paige drops in again. She had a one-of-a-kind skill of unknowingly being able to fill in silences.
"It's not like I cheated or she cheated," you hear the emotions flooding back into her voice - it's not sadness, well it probably is but it's wrapped up in anger and disbelief. "Which spins me because it's not like we were in a bad spot - okay yeah, I wouldn't respond sometimes, but that's normal, sometimes I'm genuinely tired from training!"
"Maybe she's stressed too and it's all a bit too much to deal with," You say.
She throws you a quick look, something between betrayal and you're not helping. It's fast, and she cools her features back to normal.
"- Not that I'm saying it's a good excuse," you counter, "But, it's something to consider. Did she actually say why?"
"Something about I'm not present. It's bullshit," she sighs.
You want to say something comforting, anything, but everything that comes to mind feels hollow. Besides, it's not like whatever you could say could put a bandage over a 2 year relationship ending.
She sits up again, her hoodie falling back to it's rightful face. She looks around the room, her eyes itching for something to distract her from whatever uncomfortable feelings she can feel rising. Her eyes fall on her set of keys, the original red fob you'd both received on move-in day had long been overtaken by numerous keychains and fabric bracelets - even a heart picture frame.
"Hey, do you want to do something?" She asks, "Get out of here for a bit?"
At the tip of your tongue is some vague excuse about how you really need to cook right now, but before it can come out, she speaks again.
"Please - I really need to step out for a bit." Her voice is soft, just about holding back a crack.
You're not a monster so of course, you nod and say sure. You don't ask where to until you're following her long strides down the hall and into the low-lit car park. The night feels colder than usual and your bare feet in slides feel anything but appropriate for the weather.
An orange glow from a stray streetlight casts a small tinge of light on her face as she unlocks the door to her car. "I was thinking of going to the outdoor court. You know, the one near the park? It's just a short drive. I could really use a change of scenery, and maybe shooting around would help clear my head .... that cool?"
"Yeah," you say, because what else could you say? "Thatâs cool."
How cliche you think - a basketball player needing to shoot hops to clear their head.Â
The drive is quiet, the hum of the engine filling the space between you. Paige keeps her eyes on the road, and the tension in her shoulders is palpable. You can't help but think this is how she looks when she's on the bench, (playing the game in her mind, sizing up the opposition and just yearning to get back in).
Connecticut's lights blur past as you make your way out of the downtown area, the campus fading away as she turns into a quieter, more residential neighbourhood. The basketball court comes into view, illuminated by a few scattered streetlights and a single overhead light, casting a gentle glow over the cracked asphalt and faded court markings.
She pulls into the nearest parking bay, reversing in with ease, her arm draping over your headrest as she checks the mirror. It's then that you wonder how many times she's done this exact move with her ex. You imagine her ex sitting where you are now, lips fresh with a kiss and the seat shaped by her form.
A whole two years, you think. No wonder she was going stair-crazy.
You're now out of the car, rocking on the back of your feet as Paige gets her duffle bag out of the car. It's at that point when she finally asks you about your day.
You shrug, "It's been ight, nothing much to be fair. Just trying to get my head around ... we've got a new TA and the bitch marks hard as hell."
She chuckles in response, "Damn, tough one. You do something with economics, right?"
"Yeah, something about economics. Not my first choice but it's gonna do the job," you reply trailing behind her longer strides as she leads you both into the empty court.
"Economics. Get the job done?" she repeats with a playful scoff, a small smirk playing on her lips. "Can't tell if you're being humble orâ"
"Not humble," you interject, "It's an ends to means."
She unzips her duffle bag and brings out her ball and bounces it a few times, the rhythmic thud echoing softly in the quiet night. "What's the end goal then?"
You're shrugging as you go to take your place on the edge of the court, watching as Paige moves around and seemingly becomes one with the court. (something about seeing her in her natural eleâ ment) "Probably some cushy consulting job. I'm not gonna lie, I've got no idea but I've lowkey liked the subject all through school, it's just made sense to do it."
Paige dribbles the ball a few times, then takes a shot. The ball cuts through the air and swishes through the hoop. light work.
"I'm guessing you've always known what you wanted to do," you continue.
She nods, bounces the ball again, but this her feet and body moving across the court as though she's playing the last two minutes of a game. "Yup! It's always been basketball. From elementary, middle school and high school. Nothing but ball." she punctuates her last line with a throw.
 "Wish that were me!" you say.
She looks over at you, the ball now finding itself passing from hand to hand. "You wanted to play ball?"
It's your turn to scoff, "No, I'm talking about the whole knowing what you wanted to do from the get go."
Paige pauses mid-dribble, her eyes narrowing playfully as she studies you. "Yeah, I get that. Not everyone figures it out early. But, you know, it's not like it's been easy. Just because I knew doesn't mean it wasn't a grind."
She takes another shot, and the ball glides through the net with a satisfying swish. As she retrieves it, she adds, "There's a lot of pressure, too. Once you say 'this is it,' everyone expects you to stick with it, no matter what."
You watch as she moves across the court, her pace slower now, more thoughtful. "I guess I just got lucky," she continues. "Or maybe I was stubborn. It's hard to tell sometimes."
"I guess that makes you one of the few," you say, leaning back against the fence, watching her with a mix of admiration and something else - something you can't quite put your finger on. Is this what her fans felt? It always spun you that she had fans. Fans. Would they be jealous right now? "Most people I know are still figuring it out, including me."
Paige stops dribbling and looks at you, her expression softening. "You've got time," she says, her voice losing some of its earlier intensity. "There's no rush to have it all figured out. Sometimes, the best things come when you least expect them."
She tosses the ball to you, and it lands in your hands with a gentle thud. You can feel the worn leather under your fingers, still warm from her grip. For a moment, you're both silent, the weight of her words hanging in the cool night air.
"Maybe," you say quietly, the ball feeling heavier and heavier in your hands. "But sometimes it feels like everyone else is racing ahead while I'm stuck at the start line."
"Play with me," she says, gesturing you over.
You look down at the ball and then back to her, "You're a D1 athlete. You're just gonna show me up plus I don't even know how to shoot."
"Come on, I'll teach you," There's a playful glint in her eyes. "It'll make me like five percent less sad."
You hesitate, but her enthusiasm is contagious. She hands the ball back to you and steps behind, lightly adjusting your stance. "Feet shoulder-width apart, knees bent," she instructs, her hands guiding yours on the ball. "Use your legs for power, wrist for control."
You try to follow her lead, feeling her breath close as she directs your movements. "And when you shoot, remember, follow through, like you're reaching into a cookie jar."
You chuckle at the analogy and take a shot. The ball bounces off the rim, and Paige claps. "Not bad. Let's go again."
Paige steps in front of you, her tone shifting slightly as she moves into coach mode. You can tell she's probably coached some little league somewhere here in Connecticut or wherever her home state was - sheâd mentioned it numerous times but youâd forgotten. "Alright, keep your elbow in and focus on the backboard," she says, her hands demonstrating the movement. "And don't forget, it's all about the follow through."
You roll your eyes playfully. "Alright, coach. I got it."
"It's Coach P," She smirks, her eyes twinkling. "Just trying to make you a baller." You take another shot, and this time, the ball swishes through the net. Paige cheers, giving you a high five. "There it is! You're a natural."
"Light work" you say with a grin. It's anything but.
Paige bumps you lightly with her shoulder. "Not bad at all. But next time, we're working on your dribbling cause that shit was shocking."
***
Nights at the court, which youâd now come to know was actually called St Bernardâs Court, became routine much like when youâd call her name when sheâd come back to the apartment.
Youâd gotten used to settling into the passenger seat of her car, the familiar hum of the engine surrounding you as she drove, her hands gripping the wheel with that same steady determination. Conversations, once filled with awkward pauses and small talk, now flowed effortlessly. They were the kind of talks that never seemed to end - about everything and nothing, the mundane details of life at uni, complaints about bad food at the cafeteria, or her latest training session. It was simple.
Sometimes, sheâd give up her dictator-like hold over the music and let your playlists take over, though more often than not, you let hers play on. You never minded; there was something comforting about the predictable beats of her curated selections. Her taste was always a little sharper, more nuanced than yours, and you found yourself adding some of songs to your liked list when youâd gotten back to the safety of your own room.
Sometimes, after an hour of shooting around, youâd both end up on the concrete, sitting against the low bleachers, legs stretched out before you, talking about whatever came to mind and letting the cold settle deep into your skin. But more often than not, the conversation would shift to her ex. It had become a quiet pattern: Paige would talk about her like it was a distant, painful memory she was still learning how to deal with.
Sheâd mention her in passing, her tone casual at first, as though it didnât sting anymore.
It reminded you like she was just like any other girl despite the fame. Unable to resist feigning indifference to hurt - so you didnât judge because youâd done it over and over.
âI donât even know why she said that,â Paige would say, tossing the ball back into her hands, eyes focused on something far off. âI never meant to be distant. You know how it is; practice, school, games... lifeâs a lot.â Sheâd sigh, running a hand through her hair, shaking her head.
And then, almost like she couldnât help herself, the bitterness would slip in. âShe made it sound like I didnât care at all,â Paige muttered, kicking the ball across the court. âLike it was all about me, me, me.â Her voice softened, the edges raw, the anger melting into something unspoken and lingering. âShe didnât even give me a chance to explain, to fix things. Not that it matters now.â
You listened. Not to solve anything, not to offer some platitude about how sheâd be better off. You listened because, in those quiet moments, it felt like her words were a way of processing, a way to let the weight of everything settle into something less heavy.
Her ex wasnât just a past relationship, not just a name youâd heard murmured in the back of conversations. She was a part of Paigeâs present, even if it was an unwelcome one, lingering in the way Paige looked at the court sometimes, or the way she pulled away when you tried to get too close. Her ex was a shadow that loomed over your conversations, her absence filling the spaces that Paige didnât want to admit she missed.
âYou know, I thought she was the one,â Paige would often say with a dry laugh, picking at the fabric of her hoodie. âStupid, huh?â Sheâd shake her head like it was all so ridiculous now. But the way sheâd say it, softly, almost tenderly, like she was still trying to convince herself.
And then, just as quickly, sheâd pull herself out of it, focusing on something else. âAnyway, Iâm not thinking about her tonight,â sheâd say, standing up and grabbing the ball.
At some point sheâd move on. Stop needing the nights at the court and youâd be proud because your friend (it felt weird to call her a friend thinking about the times youâd dodged her invitations for connection, but things were different now) had moved on.
***
The nights eventually come to an end.
Theyâre stopped when youâre sitting in yours and Paigeâs shared living room, letting the tv play in the background as you listlessly scroll on your phone.
The door to her room is closed but you can hear the familiar music playing through it. She emerges, her face flushed and eyes bright - frantic even.
âYo ... Guess who just called me?â She announces, taking what felt like her first breath in hours.
You look up, the question hanging in the air between you. Your thumb hovers over your phoneâs screen, trying to gauge her excitement.
Paigeâs gaze is intense, a slight nervous energy vibrating beneath her words. She doesnât wait for you to guess.
âAri,â she says, her voice a little softer now, like sheâs unsure what to feel about it. âShe called me.â The words hit you unexpectedly, like a slow tide pulling at your feet. A small knot forms in your stomach, not because youâre unhappy for her, but because you werenât prepared for this.
âOh shit,â you manage to say, trying to push away the strange, unexpected sensation thatâs fluttered inside you.
âShe said sorry. She said she made a mistake. Fuck, I... I donât know even know what think.â
You lean forward a little, trying to sound reassuring. âI mean, thatâs a good sign, right? Sheâs reaching out.â
Paige exhales a short laugh, glancing down at her hands before looking back up at you. âI guess? But fuck, it just feels... messy.â
You nod, understanding the weight of her uncertainty. Youâve seen how much this relationship meant to her, and itâs clear sheâs torn.
âYou wanna talk about it?â you ask.
She shakes her head, a small smile creeping onto her face. âNot yet, I think. I just... I need to think. Itâs all a bit much, you know?â
The room goes silent, save for the faint hum of the TV in the background.
For a moment, you sit in the quiet, the weight of the conversation hanging in the air. And maybe itâs just you, or maybe itâs just the way Paige is looking at you now, but you sense that something has shiftedâever so slightly, but undeniably.
Youâre still not sure what that means yet, or if it means anything at all. But for now, you donât push.
She sighs and falls back onto the couch, closing her eyes. âIâll figure it out,â she says softly, more to herself than to you but you know sheâs already made her choice.Â
You lean back, turning your attention back to your phone, but thereâs an odd feeling in your chest that refuses to settle. For a moment, you wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently, if sheâd never gotten that call. But before you can think too much about it, Paige shifts beside you, her presence pulling you back down to earth.
âThanks,â she says quietly.
You smile, almost relieved that the tension has eased, even if only for now. âAnytime.â
The night stretches on, the air between you both comfortable again. And yet, you canât help but wonder why you feel torn. Why arenât you bubbling with happiness, like how youâd reacted when Zen had called you in senior year to say she and Trevor had gotten back together.
Eventually, you leave the couch, muttering an excuse about needing to get back to studying.
 Ari comes back into the fold of life at yours and Paigeâs apartment like sheâd never left.
The songs that used to fill Paigeâs roomâthose soft, sad, contemplative onesâshift back to someâ thing lighter, more upbeat. Her shoes reappear, scattered carelessly by the door, mingling with Paigeâs own, like they always belonged together. And just like that, you go back to being good roommates.
That doesnât hurt. Itâs respectful - because whoâd let their girlfriend spend nights at the basketball court together? It makes sense.
It only hurts when you come back to the apartment and see them on the couch. The lights dimmed, a fluffy blanket over their legs and a Christmas movie playing.
The first time it happens, youâre awkward. Painfully awkward. Your body not knowing how to react for the first time to something youâd seen countless times before.
You hesitate in the doorway, suddenly unsure of how to move, unsure of what to say. The air between the three of you feels thicker, heavier than it ever has before. You wish you could say something light, make a joke.
They donât even notice at first - Paigeâs attention is wholly focused on the TV screen, her hand absentmindedly brushing through her girlfriendâs hair. You feel like youâre not even supposed to be here, even though itâs your apartment too.
Eventually, though, Paige looks up, her eyes meeting yours, and for a second, the warmth in them falters. She smiles, but itâs tight, apologetic.
âHey,â she says, her voice a little too bright, a little too forced. âYouâre back. We were just watching this cheesy Christmas movie. Wanna join?â
The offer is there, hanging in the air between you, but the tension is palpable. You force a smile, shaking your head quickly.
âNah, itâs fine,â your voice comes out more strained than youâd intended. âI was just coming in to ... grab something.â
You spend the rest of the night at Zenâs.
âSo bitch, what the hell is up with you?â Zen asks. her gaze sharp as she watches you.
You blink, focusing back on her, the buzz of the rosĂ© clouding your thoughts. âNothing, Iâm fine,â you reply, maybe a little too quickly.
âSure ... sure you are,â she says with a knowing look, before taking a long sip from her glass, then a pause. âDude, youâve literally been distracted all night. Moping around everywhere.â
You hesitate, a little caught off guard. Youâve told Zen about Paige, from the odd first meeting to playing basketball together and to the events which took place hours ago.
âYou sure youâre okay with them... back together?â Zen continues, her voice quieter, but thereâs a softness to it now. Sheâs not trying to push, just letting the question sit there.
The idea that maybe everyone sees what youâre trying to hide - maybe even Paige - that part makes you feel sick.
You take another sip of your wine, the sweet sharpness of it doing nothing to dull the growing ache in your chest.
âYeah,â you say again, but itâs not convincing. Not to Zen. Not to yourself.
Zenâs eyes soften, and for a moment, she doesnât look at you like sheâs waiting for a response. She looks at you like she already knows the answer. You know it. Damn.
***
A/N: My first Paige fic! let me know what you think and if I should continue ... I haven't written fanfiction in years, which is a shame because I used really enjoy the fic writing/reading community. I've literally had this blog on the backburner for the last 3 or so years just waiting to find the right thing to write about and here it is ... I think?
#paige bueckers#paige x reader#uconn wbb#uconn x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers angst#ncaa wbb#ncaaw#wcbb#uconn huskies
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