#just because you've been brought up being told that you must behave this way

[idleheathen]

Peace by Diane Leonard // unknown // autistic-fandom-trash // The Good Place // Keanu Reeves // unknown // If It's Not God - Maddie Zahm // The Village - Wrabel // Doctor Who - The Woman Who Fell To Earth // Peter Wever - Umarmung (Hug II) // unknown // Devil - Tyler Glenn // unknown // unknown // Najwa Zebian // Alok Vaid-Menon, Beyond The Gender Binary // Alok Vaid-Menon, Femme in Public

[dreamofmetoday]

PICK A CARD #4: RANDOM MESSAGE

this is for a random message from the universe you need to hear right now 💖

how to participate:

ask yourself, "what is something honest that i need to be told right now?" and "what is something honest that would help me right now if i knew it?"

choose the photo you feel most drawn to.

take as long as you need to choose, you can check more than one if you feel drawn to do so. however, if you are having trouble feeling called to any then this pick a card is not for you. these readings will be honest.

tip jar

1. you may have experienced some sort of a break up - from your partner, your best friend or maybe it’s just that you’re not talking to your mum, dad or siblings right now. it’s possible this separation could have been brought about by circumstances behind your control - such as the one you love moving away. in any case, you are struggling to come to terms with this separation not knowing the way forward. you look for what you had with this person in almost everyone else you meet and in the end, you just wonder why you didn’t get better (or more) time with this person, asking yourself why someone who understood you had to leave. you shouldn’t keep searching for a replacement because no one can compare. but, the advice isn’t really the important message here, instead, you’re being told it really does suck to feel this way, but things will change one day.

2. you’ve “inherited” a toxic way of behaving from your family. this could be in your everyday behaviour (such as inappropriate reactions when you're mad, similar to one of your parents), it could that you’re in a relationship that mimics the same toxic pattern as your parents’ one, it could be how your whole family suppresses feelings and lashes out and you let yourself get involved. i think you already know this and you know that if you don’t break the pattern now then you’re going to inflict more hurt onto others. you’re being told that you’re both switched on enough and strong enough to make these changes.

3. you are failing to communicate with someone effectively or you are not speaking to someone right now. you may be primarily in the wrong, you said some very mean things - probably cruel to the extent they can't ever fully be forgotten. there’s a chance you’ve possibly even cheated on your partner or somehow betrayed someone else in a pretty big way. you’re being told that if you value this connection that you must fight for it, and this begins with you making the first move and being open in your communication. if you are the other party in this situation, then you are being told this person genuinely is sorry for what happened but they may be too scared and embarrassed to reach out.

4. i’m sorry but you need to need to learn to be quiet 😣 you’re talking too much. you may just be oversharing in which case you need to be careful because you never know who’s not really on your side. some of you may be in for a rude awakening that you’re telling too much to someone you thought you could trust. you may need to think about who’ve you’ve been telling “too much” to - about your plans, goals, accomplishments, but even about what hurts your feelings. not everyone has your best interests in mind and they could use this against you later - sometimes it’s best to play your cards close to your vest. for some of you, you are being warned about how you're acting on your jealousy towards someone, in which case, your words will become your downfall (talking badly about someone, trying to brag about yourself etc.) because people will either catch on or it will turn out your opponent is smarter than you and will win.

5. you have or you’re about to hit “rock bottom” in some way. perhaps you know you can’t keep going on without (professional) help for your mental health or for something traumatic that happened to you. perhaps you’ve realised you can no longer keep being friends with your friend group, or maybe you've just broken up with someone, some of you might have even kicked out of home etc. this is an epiphany in a sense, and it will give you a new and better perspective of the world once you acknowledge it fully. this is a real closing of a chapter and a beginning of another one.

6. you’re being told your feelings of being wounded or sad are valid, however, you are being encouraged to not wallow in it as much as you might be currently. you feel very burdened and that things aren’t fair and perhaps they aren’t, but you can’t let yourself take the people or things you do have for granted. for most of you, there’s one person in particular that you are being reminded to not take for granted and you are being told it would be good idea to each out for them. for some of you, you’re simply being asked to try and be a little more proactive. sometimes making no choice is the worst choice, that sort of thing. you don’t want this feeling of hurt to be paired with extra regret that could be avoided.

7. something almost or completely incomprehensible happened in your life, or is about to happen. you prayed, your worked hard, you did nothing wrong and somehow something happened to shake it all up anyway. you’re being told that sometimes things “just happen” and it’s no one’s fault or anyone’s “karma”. you’re being asked to do your best to remain your best self - try not to lash out against people or curse the whole world or become too scared to be happy again. take things day by day and you will find things to appreciate naturally. and remember to take care of yourself!

8. you may have recently come to the realisation (or will soon come to the realisation) that you were manipulated or bullied. the important thing is to accept that it’s not your fault that you didn’t recognise this sooner and you should focus on the road ahead as best as you can. you’re on your “own” now and there’s no one to hold your hand as you navigate how you handle this but you can do it. try to appreciate the small things in the meanwhile and know that there are true supportive people for you out there that genuinely do want the best for you and won’t try to undermine or sabotage you (and also, don’t let yourself become too cold to people).

[mistaeq]

the stardust crusaders' hogwarts adventure: HCs

tw // none

dora's note: is this dora posting? what the hell? yes it is, i'm finally working. hopefully. i promise i'm doing by best yes ^^ i felt like doing this today, so... finally got to finish a draft that has been there for quite a while.

DISCLAIMER !! y/n is NOT a student in joseph's HCs, they're a GROWN ADULT with a JOB. !!

taglist: @fragolaaaaaaa @outofthiszawarudo @sky1mercy @cheemerthebebopfreak @berryvalentine @yandere-lovebites @catboy-kira @komaeda-kinnie [if you wanna be removed or added, all it requires is a dm or an ask !!]

kujo jotaro

♥︎ when he first sat down under the sorting hat, he didn't know what to expect and did not care in which house he would have ended up. everyone in his family, though, always had been one of two precise houses: slytherin or hufflepuff. so, very deep down, he hoped in one of them. but a different one would have been cool with him too, he would have been the first in his family with a different house sorting. he waited for a time that seemed neverending, but earlier than expected, the sorting hat said: "slytherin."

♥︎ the two of you met for the first time during a quidditch tournament. jotaro was a seeker, one of the most precise ones hogwarts had ever had. you caused him an accident, running over him with your broom, causing the two of you to fall to the ground. needless to say, he held a grudge on you for several days, until you had to get along to train for quidditch again.

♥︎ you wouldn't expect it from a wizard like him, but his favourite subjects are care of magical creatures, to study them, protect them, and get on an empathetic level with them, and muggle studies, to get to know more about muggles, in honor of his father, kujo sadao, who's not a wizard.

♥︎ it didn't take long for jotaro to manage to manifest his patronus. he had tried to practice that spell, since before the arrival of the dementors at the school. the two of you used to practice together after quidditch trainings, making you the first person - apart from him, of course - to witness the awaking of his patronus: a beautiful dolphin, a symbol of intelligence and protection.

♥︎ you will probably have to be the one to ask him first out on a date. he's not the best one when it comes to grades, and he spends quite a lot of time with his friends, trying not to think about it. no, he doesn't really care about having the best marks. you should ask one of his best friends, kakyoin noriaki, about what to do to convince him to go out on a date with you. most likely, he'll say yes because he trusts you enough to feel safe.

♥︎ jotaro does not underestimate your powers and doesn't feel the need to constantly protect you, but he must admit that as soon as the teachers of defense against the dark arts start disappearing every year or try to attack the students themselves, he's a little bit worried about you. he starts showing up outside your classroom at the end of every lesson, to check on you and keep you company until you get to you next lesson's classroom.

kakyoin noriaki

♥︎ when he sat down under the sorting hat, he was really nervous. what if it said that he wasn't even a wizard? what if he ended up in a house that would have disappointed his family? the redhead was shaking like a leaf, even at the point that the sorting hat itself asked him to calm down to allow it to examinate him better. noriaki's terror soon disappeared, as soon as the hat spoke. "okay, okay, my guy. you can calm down. ravenclaw!"

♥︎ the two of you met for the first time in the library of the school. you were looking for a specific book, the one about the fantastic beasts of the wizarding world and where to find them, when a guy who wasn't looking where he was going, hit the ladder you were standing on, making you fall, right... in his arms. ugh, that sounded like a pathetic love story beginning. until you heard a giggle from the corner of the room. the guy that was making fun of that scene was kakyoin.

♥︎ noriaki's favourite subjects are transfiguration, since he always says he has a talent in transforming objects in what he wants, and defence against the dark arts, since he wishes to become a professor one day. why is it related to that? well, since the professors of defence against the dark arts seem to change every year for some reason, his turn will come sooner or later, or not?

♥︎ for kakyoin, it was a little bit more complicated to manifest his patronus. he kept on focusing on the technique and the way he had to move his wand, instead of focusing on his inner power and mind. but after many efforts, it finally showed up: a beautiful fox, symbol of wisdom and guidance. he told you first thing.

♥︎ noriaki will probably be the one to ask you out for a date first. but he would do it through a letter. he's smart enough to write one that will convince you that he's worth it and that he's perfect for you. the redhead can't imagine you already think of him as such. either way, the letter will be very sweer and heartfelt, even if a little bit awkward sometimes. but you'll say yes regardless, he put a lot of effort in it, and has always been respectful towards you.

♥︎ he wouldn't be much worried about you at first, hogwarts is a safe place for the students, after all, right? right? oh, what? in a bathroom the little hermione granger almost got killed by a troll? you know what, nevermind? the guy is gonna be glued to you the whole time, he'll even skip lessons for it, despite how much they mean for him. you're not gonna get attacked by anything, with him by your side.

muhammad avdol

♥︎ everyone envied him when he sat down under the sorting hat, because despite the young age at the time, he looked absolutely calm and collected. he had no anxiety, and his eyes were closed, in complete relaxation, as if him and the sorting hat had some sort of mental communication going on. his smile was endearing, his fingers intertwined in front of his chest. but the hat seemed to take a lot of time sorting him. "your heart said gryffindor, my dear boy. but your soul spoke hufflepuff to me." the hat declared. but then... "hufflepuff!"

♥︎ the two of you met for the first time on the stairs. yes, the ones that like to change. your books had fallen from your arms on the stairs, and since he was passing by, he decided to lend a helping hand. what you didn't notice, was that you were standing right between the stairs and the floor. when the stairs changed, hadn't it been for muhammad's quick reflex of pulling you on his side, you would have probably fallen down several floors.

♥︎ avdol is naturally gifted, when it comes to subjects like astronomy, or his favourite one, divination. he seems to be the only student who doesn't stare at mrs. trelawney as if she were completely crazy. the majority of the ravenclaws, his friend noriaki included, sometimes don't even listen to her. but avdol does, and he's completely in love with the subject.

♥︎ it hadn't been difficult at all for avdol, to manifest his patronus. almost natural, for him. you weren't there to witness it, but you studied and practiced with him for it several times. the last time he tried, a beautiful and graceful phoenix escaped muhammad's wand, symbol of resurrection and life after death, a patronus that the student took as a symbol of hope.

♥︎ none of you two will ask the other out for a date. the love between you and avdol would bloom spontaneously, without the need of dating. you would find yourselves behaving like a couple just naturally. he likes to give you tarot readings and to stargaze with you. the stargazing sessions are the ones that get the two of you closer to each other.

♥︎ avdol would be protective over you since the very beginning. he can sense something's off in the school, and his tarot readings about hogwarts's future keep getting darker and more mysterious everytime. but every single reading hints at an upcoming source of danger, that most likely would be voldemort, he supposes. he has to keep an eye on you. he's scared.

jean pierre polnareff

♥︎ oh boy, this guy was mad nervous when he sat down under the sorting hat. everything but slytherin, everything but slytherin. surely, he knew he wouldn't have ended up in ravenclaw. he wasn't that much of a smart guy, but he did his best. either way, everything would have been cool to him, apart from slytherin. it just didn't sit right to him. but luckily, before jean could ask the sorting hat why was it taking so long, it spoke. "okay, okay, i get it. gryffindor, no doubts!" it said, making the young wizard feel relieved.

♥︎ the two of you met for the first time while he was trying so hard to find his way to the next classroom he had to be in. the school was huge, and polnareff couldn't help but to get confused in the corridors. you offered him your help, but he tried to play it cool, running away and dropping a book. well, you would have brought it to him.

♥︎ polnareff's favourite subjects are charms and flying. they're pretty basic, but he finds them the coolest things about being a wizard. he's a huge fan of quidditch too, but he wouldn't see himself playing. flying lessons give him the same feeling of freedom though, and he loves it so much.

♥︎ it took pretty long for jean pierre to manifest his patronus. he just couldn't focus enough. you've been practising with him, and you manifested it first, so it would have been good to try to help him. until he managed to do it. from his wand, a beautiful horse was freed, a symbol of power, independence, freedom, and nobleness. you could tell jean was satisfied, and grateful to you for helping him in manifesting it.

♥︎ he'll definitely be the one to ask you out first, probably not much time after you helped him to manifest his patronus. that event made him so happy and made him grow so fond of you, that he genuinely wants to improve your relationship, and hopefully, get something more from it. hopefully your heart, hopefully a kiss. but he means it genuinely. he's not trying to exploit you to get your help with assignments. for real.

♥︎ as the years go by, polnareff would start noticing hogwarts isn't the same place that it's always been, or that dumbledore claimed it was. he grows more and more protective of you, every year a worse mess happens, and it's always connected to voldemort. he's not liking it at all. not to mention you're worried, since the gryffindors seem to be pretty involved in it. more than you and jean pierre like to admit. he knows something he's not telling.

joseph joestar

♥︎ in his youth, when he sat down under the sorting hat, he didn't give a shit of what house he would have been sorted in, all he wanted was just start learning magic stuff. joseph was laughing with some handsome boys and pretty girls at the table, and was hoping it wouldn't take long to sort him, his adventure had just started. but the hat actually took really little time to figure out where he was gonna go. "slytherin." it announced, almost immediately.

♥︎ going through the corridors of hogwarts reminds him of many years ago, when you first met. he would never forget the way you told him to go fuck himself, while he was just standing on a chair, reminding everyone that him and his best friend of the time, a young lucius malfoy, were the best kind of wizards because they were purebloods. that was a bunch of bullshit he truly used to believe. luckily, he grew up to understand it wasn't true.

♥︎ now, joseph is a teacher. the last student you would have expected to become one, but he did. a teacher of defense against the dark arts, and he's not planning on leaving anytime soon. he'll keep his eyes open, he heard teachers have been disappearing every year. not to mention a lot of scary stuff is happening at hogwarts. he didn't choose a good time to work.

♥︎ he's always been a quick learner, and he managed to manifest his patronus quicker than many of his classmates. a really cool eagle, a symbol of truth, majesty, strength. despite his attitude, it was clear that joseph was a good wizard, it had to be given to him. and you grew to be into it. to admire it. he secretly liked you, too.

♥︎ joseph took the first step towards you, but he didn't quite ask you out, let's say that to keep his cool, he TOLD you that you and him were gonna date. as if to announce you. you were okay with it, and didn't accept just because you were feeling forced. you accepted because you liked him, and recognized it as a great opportunity to get closer to him. you would have worked on improving the romantic field throughout your relationship.

♥︎ now that he's a teacher, he has to recognize that there's so much going on, that the students do not see. joseph is acknowledged about how dangerous the situation is getting, and more than ever, he reaches out to you, or phones you, no matter the fact that you're working. everyone is talking about voldemort, and he doesn't like the smallest bit of it. he just wants to make sure you're safe.

[cazzyf1]

My favourite quotes/quotes I found interesting from Niki Lauda - The Art and Technicalities of Grand Prix Driving:

"Völker: Nightmare days of crashes like 1975 Barcelona Grand Prix or the 1976 Nürburgring, when you nearly lost your life, must surely leave a scar on your mind that's so deep that you can't stop thinking about it for a long time afterwards?

Lauda: It shakes me up, it does affect me, but it doesn't unbalance me. I can't allow it to overwhelm me, just as I must not be afraid or worry about it.

Völker: But no man can control his emotions like fear, can he?

Lauda: It's just a matter of will-power. You've got to develop a strong will and stubborn head, as well.

Völker: this stubbornness - does one have it, or does it have to be developed first?

Lauda: You've got it already and you can cultivate it. I can be insanely obstinate and immense egoist as well." - page 15

-

"Völker: Don't you need to do a kind of mental gymnastics to keep such 'evil thoughts' at bay?

Lauda: No. You learn to switch off. I throw a switch in my brain, then I'm a racing driver and nothing else. A racing driver without feelings and hence without fear. Then you drive, and nothing 'occurs' to you. The big problem comes in finding how long it takes to switch back on again - in other words to change back from racing driver to human being again.

Völker: how long does it take you?

Lauda: Relatively little time compared to other drivers. But things do happen that I wouldn't normally do. You meet people over-taunt from the atmosphere of the race, and you don't easily see eye to eye with them. For instance, there was this track official in Canada who panicked when I flew off the track and just kept shouting 'master-switch'. He wanted me to switch off the master switch. I had everything under control, and I told him quite calmly I just wanted to get my helmet off first. At that, the man went off his rocker, grabbed at the car and of course, switched on the fire-extinguisher instead, and that went off. I was so bloody mad I thumped the man with my crash helmet - something I'd never normally so and I'm deeply sorry to have done, but my own mental switch was still pointing 'racing' and not to 'Niki'. Or after the Argentinian Grand Prix: I'm coming out of the drivers quarters with Mariella, and somebody pulls me round and shouts: 'Photo' so I jumped on him as well." - page 18

-

"Völker: Even so you're in the nation's showcase and you must have some influence on your admirers. Do you act accordingly?

Lauda: I try to behave decently. It's easy enough for me as I was well brought up and I'm used to good manners. I won't attract attention by rowdy behaviour or drunknness because I would never behave rowdily and I hardly touch alcohol. And if the journalists go wild because I kiss Princess Grace's hand all I can say is: I thought nothing of it, it struck me as perfectly normal to kiss her hand as that's the way I have been taught." - page 19

-

"Lauda: Monte Carlo is the worst. After the race you get claustrophobic. We had a steel rail left and right of our pits, holding back thousands of Italians whose only desire was to shake my hand, hug me, or pull me apart from sheer excitement. If you don't watch out you'll get torn apart. I had to put up with things there that anybody else would define as bodily assault. For instance somebody snatches my cap. Don't get me wrong - I couldn't care less about the cap, I've given away hundreds of them to people who ask me for them. But in that instant when somebody brutally tugs off your cap you just see red - what gives that bastard the right to treat me like that? Maybe it's the highest token of admiration, I don't care: to me it's assault and theft. In a situation like that at Monaco your only bet is to scream for help and that's just what I did. The mechanics just drove through the mob with a van and literally liberated me." - page 21

-

"Völker: So it doesn't boost your inner ego when people applaud?

Lauda: No, it just embarrasses me." - page 22

-

"Völker: What part does your wife play in your career?

Lauda: I try to keep my career and private life separate as far as possible. In my job that's not always 100 per cent possible, so Marlene does get drawn into the hurly-burly. And she's magnificent at it: and she's a halo and a support to me without coercing me in any way, and that's something that means a lot to me. I found Marlene's attitude after my bad Nürburgring crash in August 1976 particularly splendid: any other wife would have taken the opportunity to talk me out going on racing. Not Marlene! It's largely thanks to her that I got back on my feet again, and there was never a world from her about my giving it all up." - page 24

-

"It is a good thing when my team mates and I are of the same build, so we can swap cars without having to make any kind of adjustments. The bucket seat is adjusted to fit the driver once and for all - and obviously a Hans-Joachim Stuck would not find enough room in a Ferrari marked with the Number 11." - page 50

-

"The oil temperature must not exceed 120 degrees. I did hit record temperature - I would prefer not to reveal just how high they went - at Monza in 1974 when a water hose coupling worked loose." - page 52

-

"We Ferrari men belong body and soul to our engines...I am no less affectionate than the others: I call each new enguine I get 'mio nuovo figlio' - my new son. I do not really care much for technology, but I always end up feeling something like a love-affair for my engine: for instance if I am careless and crash the gears I often feel like driving straight back to the pits and chucking up the whole game, I am so furious with myself." - page 63

-

"Interlagoes is the only Grand Prix track in the world that laves me with neck pains for two days afterwards. Once I found myself doing exercises two weeks before the races to strengthen my neck muscles." - page 127

-

"Monte Carlo: Victory, with knocking knees!" - page 152

-

"Paul Ricard: No problem. I managed to put myself across the finishing line before James Hunt, with a bit of effort." - page 153

-

"Hunt noticed of course that I had hit problems and that was just about the best moral tonic he could have hoped for, and he hounded me pitlessly. Just before the last lap fortune played into my hands a little - fortune in the person of John Watson. On the long straight he was in front of me and I knew: You've got to overtake him and then break whatever happens, so as to put him between Hunt and your car. This hair-raising manoeuver came off, and victory was mine." - page 153

-

"In what follows you will not hear much about emotions, and I think that is quite right too. The movie scenes of racing drivers going off to the start with thumping hearts, meaningful stares into the eyes of their beloved, twitching facial muscles and the like - there just is not any of that to be seen, at least not amongst the men who are really fast." - page 165

-

"As far as I myself am concerned, all I need are the very last few minutes before the race to collect my thoughts, to programme what I am going to do, to throw that switch and concentrate on the job in hand for the next two hours. And if people will not allow me these few moments - when I am already sitting in my car! - then I do tend to snap at them. There was an absolutely ridiculous scene just before the start of Monaco in 1974 - when I was already edgy enough as we had just had the whole circus with the swap over of starting places between Regazzoniand me: I was already sitting in my car, trying to put everything around me out of my mind, when a gaggle of Johnny Walker types in top hats waddled up, posed in front of the TV cameras, rabbitted on about something and roared with laughter - and put their hands on my Ferrari. This is when I blew up and brought my fist down on the fingers of one of them. To fly off the handle like that - in other words, to let your emotions get the better of you - is however one of the rare exceptions." - page 165

-

"So I drop back again like a good boy." - page 202

-

"By top class drivers I think of (in alphabetical order) Fittipaldi, Hunt, Peterston, Reutemann, Scheckter always, and Depailler, Javier, Regazzoni sometimes." - page 206

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"Many drivers find they are bothered by sweat running into their eyes and inflating them (you cannot rub your eyes because of the visor) I have only heard about the problems, as I myself hardly perspire at all." - page 208

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"Nature has given me a simple system that is in fact highly professional: because of my buck teeth it is an easy matter for me to breath out in a downward direction!" - page 210

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"I am never going to let any more race managers blackmail me. There must not be anymore Barcelonas! I have got to say that I regard the men who allowed the race in Japan to proceed as lunatics." - page 220

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"I am always being asked about 'my favourite race' or my 'favourite track' But I do not have a favourite track, and I do not want to begin thinking in terms of whether I like a particular track or not." - page 220

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"In fact I was a bit of a physical weakling and I noticed it when I came to drive the Porsche 908 - my arms were not strong enough and I used to get tried very early on. So I made a concerted attack on this weakness; by going to the Fitness Center in Vienna's Kreuzgasse and going in for bodybuilding work there with dumb-bells and everything else they had. I gained twenty pounds in weight - which brought me up to my present ideal weight of 141 pounds (I am 5 feet 9 inches tall). Sometimes I may put on weight during the season to around 150 pounds, and I have to lose them again during the winter training season." - page 222

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"What matters most for my physical well-being is sleep." - page 222

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"What would be ideal would be to sleep right through the Monday and Tuesday after that." - page 222

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"I pay far more attention to getting my proper ration of sleep, and I only go for a daily half-hour run when I do not feel tried any more. As there was scarcely a day in 1975 season that I got all the sleep I needed, I hardly went running at all." - page 222

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"Obviously I try not to burn the candle at both ends. I do not smoke, never drink - expect for something very small if I am tempted, perhaps twice a year - and I am not a great party goer. On a race weekend I go to the usual Marlborough dinner, but that is all. Nor do I like to go out, it does not do anything for me. I think most of the other Grand Prix drivers like a 'healthy' life as I do, there are not any playboys amongst us - because if you are a playboy you just will not be up to the job. Perhaps in earlier years it was different: there were not so many tests and trials then, and you had more spare time between races. But not now." - page 222-227

-

"My own hobby sport is skiing, and I am quite good at it. But I never really lose my fear of breaking a leg. There is no escape clause in my contract with them, but even so I would not like to see Ferrari's faces if I turned up just before the season began, wearing one leg in plaster. So I make a point of skiing particularly slowly if I can. For a while I manage, then I find myself picking up speed again. What I never do, however, is go skiing if the visibility is poor - then my fear of injury gets the upper hand." - page 227

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"There is a table-tennis outfit in a hall at our Fiorano test track, and the team go there for a game if we have time to kill. Not that it has done me any good, I am something of a rabbit at table tennis and easy meat for everybody else to beat. I have tried a bit of tennis - for instance in the tranquil days before South African Grand Prix at Kyalami ranch; I liked it a lot and I can well imagine I would like to take it up seriously if ever I should get enough time to do so." - page 227

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"I have never been badly ill. Since I have been a professional, I have always taken great care not to catch a cold: from washing my hair, right down to the car's ventilation system - I adjust it so that it only gradually cools down. By and large my attitude to my body is this: I try to live sensibly. The doctors tell me that this is the only reason I managed to survive my crash on Nürburgring." - page 227-228

[giorno-plays-piano]

You were all I wanted

Pairing: mob!Peter Parker x plus-sized!Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, swearing, kidnapping, human trafficking, slight mention of body shaming, allusion to non-con.

Words: 2195.

Summary: You are bought by the head of Stark crime family for a kid he cares about.

P.S. Peter is an adult!

__________

"We hope you are going to enjoy your new girl, Mr. Stark." The man loosened his grip on your shoulder as he let you march straight into the arms of a stranger in a fancy striped suit and big frightening men with guns surrounding him.

"Nah, this one isn't for me." The stranger who bought you brushed it off as if your presence meant nothing. "She's a present for the boy. Peter, where the fuck are you?"

You almost jumped at his loud voice, keeping your head low and watching your unstable feet. Well, you expected as much - before you that mysterious Mr. Stark bought one of the most beautiful women you had ever seen in your life. Her striking black hair was shining even in the dim lights of the dressing room where all captured girls were taken care of before the start of the auction. She costed twice more than you and had much more admirers - you remembered how men were shouting, trying to outbid each other. You weren't that popular, but still ended up being purchased by the same man she was. Now it all made sense.

"I'm here, Mr. Stark!" A young boy's head popped out in the crowd of other buyers, and he emerged right in front of you with a long men's coat in his hands. "I'm sorry it took me so long!"

"Look at this gent." The man smirked at him, and his guards laughed a little at the boy's enthusiasm. "So caring! I hope you're not going to take the girl straight to church?"

Now there was an inappropriately loud burst of laughter, and you bit your own tongue. They all were a bunch of bastards, but your life depended on them now. You needed to keep your mouth shut if you wanted to make it out alive.

The boy smiled brightly at his patron and looked at you with sparkles of happiness in his dark eyes. Oh, at least he was more or less pleased with the way you looked, you thought.

"Congrats with your first girl, Peter." Mr. Stark's smug grin suddenly turned warm at the sight of the boy who was almost jumping with excitement in front of him. "You're sure she's the one you want? I can still get a replacement if you've changed your mind."

"No, no, Mr. Stark, she's perfect for me!" Once the man in the suit nudged you to come closer to the boy, Peter gently wrapped your shoulders into the coat he carried and smiled at you widely. "Thank you so much for your present, sir!"

"Enjoy, kid." His patron smirked and motioned to the men waiting for him. "Let's get going then, I have business to attend to."

Judging by their nasty smirks, his business had something to do with that gorgeous black-haired woman they took somewhere earlier. You did your best not to throw up at the thought of him forcing her down her knees.

"Can you walk?" The boy suddenly asked you quietly, and you blinked. "Do you want me to carry you?"

Nice joke. The guy looked twice slimmer than you, skinny as a rail. You'd break him in half, probably. You weren't sure whether he was mocking you, but it was obviously not the right time to throw a temper tantrum.

"I can walk. Thank you." You mumbled and made a step towards those men who were already leaving.

"Ok. Come with me then." You thought his boyish smile looked pretty.

You walked past other girls dressed in expensive flashy lingerie adorned with glitter, sequins, and laces. Some of young women were as terrified as you were, their faces red with tears; the others seemed strangely happy, shouting something to each other and giggling in front of their new masters - you thought those girls were prostitutes or someone of the same kind because the idea of laughing happily after being bought like a piece of clothing didn't sit well with you. You spotted a few more ladies who were still unstable on their feet because they were given too much drugs, probably. Two dozens women, maybe more, were gathered in a place like that to become someone's property. Like you did now.

It was cold outside despite September being usually warm in New York. You had never lived here before, but one of your friends moved in the Big Apple two years ago and was always talking about nice weather they often enjoyed.

"It's right over there." The boy pointed to one of the cars in a long row of them, Mr. Stark already getting inside a ridiculously fashionable one. Peter's old Honda was nowhere near that, but you were relieved. It made you feel like you weren't taken to some scary place full of criminals waiting to fuck the shit out of you.

The kid opened the door for you like you were some fairytale princess or something, and you got inside, holding the coat that almost slipped from your shaking shoulders while the boy quickly landed on the driver's seat. You couldn't guess his age, but if he drove the car he was probably older than 16.

"I'm so sorry, I know you're cold." He glanced at your silk robe beneath the coat, your legs bare - you had nothing but fluffy slippers on your feet. "It'll get better in a minute."

What a considerate little guy. If he didn't show up with that overconfident mobster who looked like he owned New York, you'd think Peter was some sweet high schooler who spent his weekends working in an animal shelter. But you weren't stupid to believe his innocent looks.

At one point you thought he might be Mr. Stark's illegitimate son, but something told you  it wasn't that. The way Peter looked at him with adoration proved that the man was more of his patron as you suspected from the very beginning.

"I know they didn't feed you today, so I brought you some chicken soup." He said and reached to grab something from the back seat - you glanced at the metal food jar thermos that softly landed on your naked lap.

Did he bring you food? For real? No, it must be some trick - there were drugs or something like that there, for sure. Why else was this guy playing the role of your mother, for God's sake?

"You're not allergic to chicken, are you?" Kid looked concerned, watching the troubled expression on your face. "Oh shoot, I didn't check your allergies!"

"I'm not allergic." You quickly replied, afraid to make him upset.

He was getting restless too fast, you thought. Peter really behaved like a kid. What was that Mr. Stark told him after the auction? Something like "congrats with your first girl", wasn't it? So, it probably meant Peter had never been with a woman before. Not that you had been with a man, either. Maybe that's why he picked you.

But it also could be all an act. Teenagers weren't getting slaves to take care of their sexual needs. Maybe this Peter wasn't as young as you thought, and in fact he was some psycho who planned to drug, rape and murder you.

Either way, he would get mad if you didn't get started with that soup - you could read it in his face.

Opening the jar, you felt a delicious smell filling your nostrils when your stomach made an ugly sound. Damn, you had never been so hungry in your entire life.

The truth was the supervisors who took care of all the girls before the auction made you starve for two days "to get you in shape". They said you were too fat and they had to do something to make you at least a bit more presentable.

"Well, if I'm going to die, I will die with a full stomach." You thought gloomly and started gulping down the warm soup. It tasted heavenly good.

The boy watched you in awe as if you were becoming more and more beautiful with eash sip.

"I'm not much of a cook, but Aunt May managed to teach me to make a chicken soup." He said with a sudden warmth to his voice. "So, um, don't worry, you won't die of starvation with me."

You forced yourself to smile at his attempt to make a small joke. As far as you were concerned, your body was perfectly okay even after you finished eating. Maybe the drug took longer to start affecting you, but maybe you were just lucky and there was nothing in the soup at all.

All of a sudden, Peter's phone started ringing, and he took it from the pocket of his jacket immediately.

"Where the fuck are you again, kid?" You could hear Stark's thundering voice even from your seat.

"I'm sorry, sir!" The boy squeaked and adjusted his seatbelt. "We're coming!"

____________

The room he brought you to was fairly large and comfortable to your tastes: there were a comfy king-sized bed, a huge table with a dozen of oddly-looking gadgets and two screens, a chair, a drawer and a closet. There was also a newly-bought TV that wasn't set up yet, and a microwave on a side table.

"I'm terribly sorry for the mess." Peter apologized to you as if you were his parent who came to scold him. "Don't worry, I'll take it all away. Please come and sit here."

He briefly gestured to the bed, and you bit down on your lower lip nervously. The kid was fast.

You didn't talk much in the car since you were waiting for the drug to kick in, but nothing happened. As for Peter, you thought that he was too shy to talk, but maybe he just didn't want to. In the end, he asked his patron to buy you for a very different reason.

"The bathroom is over there. You can take your shower, if you want." He smiled childishly at you.

How could he keep such innocent face when he was about to rape you?

You gathered whatever courage you had left and said, "C-can we talk?"

The boy froze on the spot and dropped whatever gadget he was holding back on the table. You glanced at his skinny boyish figure, that dark ruffled hair and a really pretty face - he looked like your neighbor's sweet son who would climb a tree to get a cat stuck up there back to the ground.

"Of course!" Peter landed on the bed close to you, watching you with his undying enthusiasm. "What would you like to talk about?"

"Why did you choose me?"

You really wanted to know. You weren't the usual goods they sold on that auction, the human traffickers said. Though there were a few girls who weren't breathtakingly beautiful, most of the ones brought there were well above average women. They looked like they came straight from Victoria's Secret Show.

"Well... um." You could see his ears getting red. "You're... pretty. I like you."

Huh, funny. Why did you ask? The answer was obvious - you were cheap. Mr. Stark didn't want to spend too much money on a present for the kid, so Peter had rather limited choice, probably.

"Why are you getting upset?" He sounded so concerned that you made yourself smile again to calm him down. Anyway, it was better to be grateful. You were almost sold to some disgusting old man. "Did I say something wrong?"

"No, you didn't. I'm sorry." You hurried to say. "I'm sorry you didn't get anyone better than me. That place was full of magnificent women."

What the fuck were you saying? Did you seriously think those poor souls deserved to be sold like cattle just because they were prettier than you? God, you were so messed up.

"Wait, no!" The boy grabbed your hands in his and made you flinch involuntarily. "No, no, you're beautiful! I chose you because I like you more than anyone else."

Bewildered, you looked at his worried expression, his eyes staring at you intensely while you squeezed your thighs together. Hearing the boy say that felt very odd, but kind of... comforting? Not many people ever called you beautiful, mind your mother and a few friends. It was stupid to think about it now when the one calling you that was the man whose property you had become, yet you couldn't help but get those little butterflies in your stomach.

You eyes watered, and you quickly wiped your tears away.

"People were treating you badly, weren't they? It's terrible." The boy pulled out a pack of napkins and took one, gently pressing it to your wet cheek. "But I swear I fell in love with you once I saw your photos on the website. You're the prettiest girl I've ever met, for real!"

When he removed the napkin, you saw his pupils dilating and felt his breath becoming ragged, heavy. One of his hands rested on your thigh as he leaned closer to you and sniffed your hair. Your body went stiff.

"No one gonna say anything nasty to you from now on. I'll make sure of that."

_________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint @msruchita @opheliadawnwalker3

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Problematic Atlas Quotes: Volumes 1-3

All of the places on Remnant put together have not produced as many jarring incongruities and mixed messages as Atlas. These are all quotes relating to Atlas that really stood out to me at the time and have stayed with me since.

Volume 1

Penny: I am combat ready! (Yeah, but are you ready for anything else? And who would send out a cute girl robot who was ONLY ready for combat?)

Weiss: The innocent never run, Yang! (Karmic law says that one will come back to bite your ass, Weiss.)

Penny: I don't have a lot of friends, but if I did, I would want them to talk to me about things. (We haven't seen this one come back around to Penny yet. Blake, yes. Penny, no.)

Volume 2

Ironwood: But ask yourself this: Do you honestly believe your children can win a war?

Ozpin: I hope they never have to. (Note that Ozpin believes they can. It's having to fight he considers a failure. Later revelations would make his view even more tragic.)

Ruby: But why not let us know you were okay?

Penny: I... was asked not to talk to you. Or Weiss. Or Blake. Or Yang. Anybody, really.

Ruby: Was your dad that upset?

Penny: No, it wasn't my father... (Ironwood speaks next. An early sign of Ironwood's controlling nature.)

Penny: I'm the world's first synthetic person capable of generating an Aura. (Tell me more.)

Penny: One day, it will be my job to save the world (The whole world? Seriously, tell me more.)

Penny: It's okay, Ruby. They're not bad people; I just don't want to get you in trouble. (And why would talking to you get Ruby in trouble? And why send her to a festival that encourages students to talk to each other if you won't let her talk?)

Penny: Just promise me you won't tell anyone else my secret. Okay?

Ruby: I promise.(If she HAD told Pyrrha, the whole debacle might not have happened. Will this come up again?)

Roman: As some of you may have heard, this right here... (Taps the giant mech) ...is Atlas's newest defense against all the scary things in the world. And thanks to my "employer", we've managed to snag a few before they, uh, "hit the shelves".  (Damn, Atlas, y'all got a lot worse security problems than Ruby.)

(The image of Penny dancing by herself at the ball surrounded by uniformed guards. Say what?)

Ironwood: Ruby, I feel it's appropriate to let you know that I think what you did last night is exactly what being a Huntress is all about. You recognized a threat. You took action. And you did the very best you could. (Ah well, that's nice. Doesn't entirely fit in with the rest of your character James, but it's nice.)

Ruby: Wait. You think this girl is connected to Torchwick and the White Fang?

Ozpin: It's possible. But we still lack the required evidence to link the two together.

Ruby: Actually, I... I think I remember her saying something about a hideout, or something, in the southeast. Just outside the Kingdom.

Ozpin: Interesting.

Glynda: I thought you said the intruder never—

Ozpin: Thank you for your cooperation, Ruby. Why don't you go and spend some time with your team? You have a big day ahead of you.

Ruby: Any time.

Ozpin: And Miss Rose, please try and be ... discreet about this matter.

Ruby: Yes sir. (This tells Ironwood several things. It tells him that Ruby will lie for Ozpin, that Ozpin will cover up Ruby's lie to protect her, and most importantly that Ruby and Ozpin TRUST EACH OTHER.)

Glynda: Why must your answer to everything involve a triumphant display of military bravado!? You treat every situation like it's a contest of measuring di—!

Ozpin: Glynda!

Glynda: Well, he does. (Tell me more, Glynda.)

Ozpin: You're a general, James. So tell me, when you prepare to go to war, which do you send in first? The flag bearers, or the scouts? (Why is a civilian Headmaster schooling a general with a lesson taught to greenhorn Lieutenants? And why does he have to?)

Ozpin:  We fought for countless reasons, one of which being the destruction of all forms of art and self-expression. (SOME kingdom has control issues.)

Glynda: You're a good person, James. You've always done what you think is best for the people, even against strong protest. It's admirable. But it's high time you stopped talking about trust and started showing it. (So Ironwood's trust issues are not new. Tell me more.)

Councilman 1: You've left us no choice! The Vytal Festival tournament cannot be broadcast, let alone held, if we are unable to ensure the safety of the citizens.

Councilman 1: Ahem... Therefore, we have reached out to the Atlas Council and together have decided that the best action is to appoint General Ironwood as head of security for the event.

Ironwood: Thank you, Councilman. Our Kingdom is happy to lend as many troops as it takes to ensure that the event runs smoothly and safely as possible.

Councilman 1: And we thank you, General.

Ozpin: Will that be all?

Councilman 1: For now. But after this festival comes to a close, we are going to have a serious discussion about your position at Beacon Academy. General Ironwood's reports over the last few weeks have left us somewhat... concerned. I am sure you understand.

Ironwood: This is the right move, Ozpin. I promise, I will keep our people safe, you have to trust me.(Damn dude, what did Glynda just say about trusting people? And why do you expect Ozpin to trust you when you clearly have tattled behind his back?)

Ironwood: You brought this on yourself. (Yeah, he did. By trusting you.)

Volume 3

I have already written a detailed post on the vast discrepancies between how Winter Schnee behaves and what she is trying to convey in her first scenes, titled "Snowbirds of a Feather". Suffice to say Ironwood isn't the only Atlesian sending mixed messages.

Ironwood: If you were one of my men, I would have you shot!

Qrow: If I was one of your men, I'd shoot myself.(So y'all have an acrimonious history as well. Okay.)

Goodwitch: While I wouldn't condone his behavior, retaliating like you did certainly didn't help the situation. ("Call yourself a grown-up? I've seen better behavior from first-year students! Why do I even have to say anything to you? Don't answer that.")

Qrow: You sent me to get intel on our enemy, and I'm telling you, our enemy is here.

Ironwood: We know.

Qrow: Oh! Oh, you know! Well, thank goodness I'm out there risking my life to keep you all informed!

Ironwood:Qrow-

Qrow: Communication's a two-way street, pal. You see this? That's the SEND button.

Winter: They had reason to assume you'd been compromised. (So, Ironwood, explain to me WHY, if you seriously think Qrow has been compromised, you haven't brought it up with HIS BOSS before now? Isn't that information kind of important?)

Qrow: Despite what the world thinks, we're not just teachers, or generals, or headmasters. The people in this room, the leaders of the other two academies, we're the ones that keep the world safe from the evils no one even knows about! It's why we meet behind closed doors, why we work in the shadows. So you tell me, James, when you brought your army to Vale, did you think you were being discreet, or did you just not give a damn!?

Ironwood: Discreet wasn't working. (Explain.)

 I'm here because this is what was necessary. (Explain.)

Qrow: You're here because Ozpin wanted you here! (Is it just me, or does anyone else think this sounds like it was an unpopular decision?)

Ciel: Ruby Rose. 15. Hails from Patch. Leader of Team RWBY. Status: Questionable. (Daaaammmn son. We need to talk. You ordered a full background check on a teenage girl just because she talked to your android? And then you gave it to your android's handler? And on top of all that, a gifted honor student from a multigenerational Huntsmen family who leads Beacon's first-year star team, who Ozpin clearly trusts, only rates as "Questionable"? Who doesn't rate as "Questionable"? Oh that's right. Qrow is also "Questionable", and so is Ozpin. Tell me, do you rate yourself as "Questionable"?)

Ciel: Penny? I believe it is best if we move on to our next location.

Penny: Could we have just a minute to talk? (No seriously, is Penny now not allowed any free time?)

Ciel: It's been precisely one minute, ma'am.(Apparently not.)

Penny: Ruby, there's something I've been wanting to talk to you about. I want to stay at Beacon.

Ruby: Penny, they'll never let you do that.

Penny: I know, but I have a plan.(Tell me more.)

Yang: You're from Atlas. What could we expect?

Weiss: Well, seeing as their Kingdom, academy and armed forces are all merged as one, I think we can expect strict, militant fighters with advanced technology and carefully rehearsed strategies.  ... Or whatever they are.(So even other Atlesians think Atlesians send mixed messages.)

Ironwood: For the past few years, Atlas has been studying Aura from a more scientific standpoint; how it works, what's it made of, how it can be used. We've made... significant strides. And we believe we've found a way to capture it.

Qrow: Capture it and cram it into something else. (Dude, exactly WHERE did Penny's Aura come from?)

Ironwood: What I believe and hope this to be is nothing more than the result of stress and adrenaline. When you're out on the battlefield, your judgment can become clouded in an instant. Sometimes you see things that simply aren't there. Even after the fight is past... (That answers that question. You don't trust yourself either. What happened to you?)

Ironwood: Ozpin, the girl... I-I can explain! (You've got a full scale Grimm invasion going on and you're more terrified of OZPIN? What did you do to create Penny, James? How ELSE have you betrayed Oz?)

Ironwood: Qrow! This isn't my doing! (Why did you automatically assume Qrow is attacking you instead of looking behind you? Guilt?)

This post is long enough already, so I'll finish later. While I may be overreacting to some of these statements, that doesn't explain all of them. It's looked from the beginning like there was something fishy going on in Atlas, especially having to do with Ironwood.