#just as a whole. to the point where i don't have to consistently explain even the *very basic basics* to people both queer and not queer

[martritzvonmercie]

being aroace is crazy bc sometimes it's like. whoo yay i have such a wider perception of relationships that's so cool yay!!! and sometimes it's like. i hate this it sucks

[pieroulette]

Did I, A Side Character Became the Male Lead's Wife?!

2023 | 13+ | ONESHOT | YANG JUNGWON × READER | -> PART 2

SUMMARY you — a side character in a royal novel doing absolutely nothing but enjoy your rich ass yet boring life, only watching over the female lead and doing your job in protecting her, only for a pair of kittenish eyes to fall not upon the female lead but on you, unfortunately.

AUTHOR'S NOTE not me writing a whole ass oneshot at 5am bcs of that sweet ask from that one anon, imma name u serotonin dopamine anon lmao- and jungwon bae u r truly my muse.. also inspired by sum manhwas cuz I binge read 90+ chapters in less than a day 💀💀💀 plus happy 900+ followers for me <333 mom wake up I'm famous even tho I'll never let u know what my secret writing blog is about 😊😊

a side character, how cute?

well, you only came to know of this very horrible (not really) fact that you're nothing close to a main character's vibes cause look at you babe, where's the sparkling shiny starry dust on you as you walked through the red carpet at the ball?

and did they even spare a glance at you? unfortunately, nope. because the female lead, Liz; was your enemy, at least in how your character was written in the novel by the goddamn author which was you.

yes, that's right!

you, a hella introverted author dwelling in the deepest corner of her room doing nothing but spent an ungodly amount of hours creating the perfect and enchanting characters after crying for major character death of a fic a few years ago. wiping your dripping tears off your cheeks in a comical way as you pull open your laptop and risk your 20/20 vision for life, just so you can reverse the aching pain in your chest that you wore a thick ass glasses now.

Liz, the female lead. Swooning over her was your religion, throwing not one but a ten whole buckets explaining how perfect she was—or how tremendously kind she was, delicate and utterly sweet. patting yourself on the back for creating such a goddess of a character, so it's only wise for you to give her a fitting male lead, right? Okay we'll talk about that later since it's about you right now.

So how did you end up in your novel? Well, because of one fateful day of you doing absolutely nothing but taking a goddamn rest, and whoever the god in heaven that just randomly decided to throw you in the novel you wrote yourself—must be utterly insane. Perfect indeed!

it took you a humongous realisation to see yourself in a dark green puffy dress that represents jealousy, envy, and betrayal—which also represents the side character standing behind the female lead on the thick cover of your book. you've originally written her as that wicked best friend that uses her seductive way of speech to seduce men, and at last turning her back at the female lead by accusing her of a horrendous crime.

her fatal fate consists of her head being snapped by the guillotine, unfortunately. but for you, not really, cause you are so in for destroying wicked characters but jokes on you—you're now in the body of that character.

pfft, can't the gods put you in a character that lives near the sea, with your straw hat on and as you drank your lemon juice away from the public drama, angsty dialogues, cringe moments you yourself have created because you don't have atleast an ounce of social skills that's why you pour it all on your characters.

"oh my apologies, milady— pfft—" three ladies sticking with each other like a super glue, had thrown the glass of wine on the female lead's gown—earning a series of gasps from everyone who saw but you were sure won't pay an ounce of consideration towards her as you had written almost everyone in this novel as "the world against the weak, fragile character."

oh, right. the hyena laughters of those you describe in episode 3 of "the flashy ball"; the three evil sisters, because why not? they added the extra spices in your tongue to the point you couldn't wait for them to get slap by the female lead or possibly someone.

ah, the tremendous satisfaction.

and you were one of that person whose hands itching to smash their skull apart, you cringed enormously at them as they were the ones that brought total trouble wherever they went or whoever are unlucky enough to get in their way. unfortunately, you seal your female lead's fate with them as she need some little obstacles, doesn't she?

you as hell were not sure what you're supposed to do, whether to just let things happen as the story goes or you do the male lead's job in protecting the female lead cause you have no idea why is he taking such a long time to appear, when he should've made his grand entrance at the freaking introduction?

and you wrote it that way cause you got fed up with male leads making their first appearance at the ball, and somehow quickly gaining the female lead's heart like Cinderella cause dear lord where's the slow burn?

just say, you're a conservative grandma type of a mindset or that you are skeptical over love at first sight. yep, you're right. that's why you ain't gonna let your precious female lead get bullied in front of your very eyes. she's like your granddaughter right now, seriously.

a shriek echoed through the entire ball, gaining everyone's attention. "oh my god! my dress! you— lady Liz! who did you even brought with you?!"

oh right, you forgot it's your first time at the ball either. "my apologies, milady. it's just that i saw a bunch of hyenas roaming around.." you rubbed the back of your neck.

"hyenas?! guards—"

"chill, what's the commotion here?" a bright dashing blonde haired man in a red royal suit came around, with sets of stars dusting upon his form which you already realise to be part of the main characters but unfortunately you forgot. you ain't having that extra superhuman memory just because you are an author.

the bunch of hyenas before you reasoned with the prince, but you slowly realise that the prince was none other than Prince Jake. Inspired by that one puppy image idol from fourth generation of kpop, you were apparently slurping your noodles in the local restaurant when you watched him imitating a dog from the tv, causing you to choke on your noodles.

it's safe to say, he's hot enough that he had to be part of your main characters. aah, that signature dashing smile of his as he defended the female lead with his wisely chosen string of words which immediately melted everyone's heart at sight.

times like this you wish you were actually the female lead, but the logical side of you beg to differ; you are not emotionally capable of spewing cringy romantic words for that's only reserved for writing. So thank you, i'll pass.

Surely, Prince Jake ain't the male lead for your precious female lead but you just let them converse with each other despite her with her absolute kindness, urging you to talk with them too, atleast a word. it sort of felt for a moment like she was trying to match you with the prince.

like no please, you'd rather not to. hot guys are hot, but they're not worth the emotional investment past the fangirling section.

plus the prince doesn't seem interested you as he doesn't spare not even one look at you which obviously you couldn't care any less, you sneakily went out the ball after a series of mishaps—for example your heavy puffy ass gown with its sole purpose to only look pretty but the reality ain't that pretty to say the least, panting like a dog as you took each step towards the entrance all while cussing yourself for ignoring your logical part of brain that you shouldn't have been adding humongous useless words to describe the gown just to make it sound extremely pleasing to the readers.

now you're the one to bear the consequences of your own writing, the fuck.

"one! two!—" a long, long, depressing sigh echoes. "three! ah!—" consequently falling upon your face, what a perfect day indeed. you just wanted to go home, tuck yourself in your comforting blanket, eat your hot cup of ramen or indulge yourself in the sea of chocolate while daydreaming of your favourite idols and fictional characters.

not this awful disaster of you getting tangled in the courts' affairs.

"i suppose, you need help, milady?"

oh no, certainly not. don't call me milady, pretend i do not exist for i certainly do not have the social skills to pretend that i like you, or form a decent conversation especially with men.

"milady?"

you curled yourself, burying your head into the comfort of your gowns. wondering quite a bit of how odd you look in the middle of the hallway.

"milady?" his voice-like whisper came closer, obviously standing beside you right now. "are you okay?"

fuck it. "please, i beg of you to kindly leave me alone as my day has been utterly ruined and—" oh wait, he seems oddly familiar. those lush fluffy hair and kittenish orbs that only softens among those he were close enough.

prince jungwon.

oh! the male lead, oh my god! your jaw hang so low it fell on the ground, your eyes sparkled in dozens of star like universe as you took in his marvelous beauty that you had spent creating meticulously after studying all the '101 rules of how to create the perfect male lead that had the readers heart evaporating & a huge ass green forest that certainly would cause blazing flames'.

"oh my god! you look absolutely gorgeous, i've done it really well didn't i?! oh my god!"

"o-oh—! absolutely, you did well!" he immediately replied back, pressing his lips tight nervously.

wait what? what did he say? oh shit, oh well, covering your mouth instantly as you accidentally let it out before the prince, your precious male lead that you solely created for the female lead. "i—.."

the prince, your very precious character—obviously taken aback with a slight blush dusting of his adorable cheeks as he raise his fist up to his lips, coughing a couple of seconds. a personality trait you very well are familiar of cause that's how you wrote him when he fall in love with the female lead.

your eyes ogled out at that familiar sight, screaming at the back of your mind—wait, wait! you're not supposed to fall in love with me, you idiot! go back! go inside the ball, she's inside there!

"that's oddly brave of you, milady. i'd certainly go as far as to say that i've never seen such traits from a lady." kitten eyes softening at you, crouching down as he lend both of his hands for you. you raised your eyebrow confusingly at what is he trying to pull at but you realise he was intending to get you up.

"u-uhm? uh, sorry. i could get up on my own, actually." yeah, that's what you did. pushing yourself back up despite his protests because you ain't gonna let him fall any further for you, nah uh, not in this life, your mission is to get him and your female lead together inside the frames of birds holding flower wreaths as they went on to their happily ever after.

not with you!

"may i have the honour to know your name, though, milady?" why the fuck isn't he leaving, what is there so interesting in you that he is still standing here asking you such generic questions.

you shouldn't be having the characters attention on you as you obviously wrote it that way, and that even though your character in the novel had tried to get the prince's heart, despite resorting to foul actions, that he never truly had been attracted to her despite this characters' seductive aura.

for you squealed so loud at the scene you wrote, with jungwon putting her in her place. "you are not her, and you would never be her." along with the bunch of your readers hosting a flamboyant celebration under the comments, screaming over how loyal he was.

so what in the actual fuck is this?

"you don't need my name." you nonchalantly answered.

"my apologies?"

"you see, my best friend is in the ball—" you gestured your hands to the entrance of the ballroom, "and she needs your help more than i do."

"wait? why would she need my help?" his eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion as you pushed him through his back.

"of course, she do! don't ask anything!"

"wait!— my name is!" he forcefully turn to face you again, but you immediately covered his mouth with your hands—kabedonning him against the wall.

an excruciating silence occured between you two in the silent hallway, Jungwon freezing to his core when your other hand shoot beside his head.

"listen i don't need your name, dear sir." you emphasise each word, you certainly don't need to know his name nor his status as a prince, not wanting to risk any possible connection with him judging by how he acted before you just now.

"b-but!" his words were muffled into the void as you cupped his mouth tighter.

"shh, shh. stop talking and listen, will you?!"

jungwon nodded slowly, what an odd situation he was in right now, he thought. but somehow he likes it.

"so first step, is go inside the ballroom. second, look for the lady in pink gown, and third—"

"t-third?"

"third is tell her your name! my best friend needs it more than i do!" you release him from your grasp as you went to swing open the huge double door, "now go!" waving a goodbye before kicking his body through the entrance, pulling the door back with your entire strength despite his protests.

oh of course, you finally let out a gag after suppressing it in front of him the entire time as you've never had a proper conversation with a male without stuttering, somewhat a sad tragedy for you, unfortunately. you felt quite guilty about your readers who swoon over the romances you wrote between your leads, weeping over how you're so good at it—not knowing you're a complete introvert with only a gigantic ass dictionary with you.

finally, the male lead and female lead's romances are about to start! you squealed with your hands clasping as you went on your way to the carriage, gesturing for the rider to embark on the way to your heavenly puffy manor with the widest big grin ever that it had him questioning you, "has any gentleman had caught your heart, milady? a couple of hours ago, you were often beyond distraught to attend the ball but insisted when you heard Lady Liz was going."

"oh, you silly." you giggled as you swayed your hand, "of course, that's one of the reasons. but there's another one.."

"may i ask what is it, then?"

you leaned in closer, urging him to get closer as you whispered. "i got the chance to become a Cupid!"

"a Cupid?" you squealed before the old man, hopping like a child for quite awhile before flying into the carriage much to his surprise, but only shook his head in amusement—appalled by how his mistress had changed so much.

"so?" you couldn't help yourself from pulling out the widest eccentric grin at the female lead, extremely curious and ecstatic over what romances had bloom between her and Jungwon.

Liz raises her eyebrow in confusion, "so?.. what do you mean, milady?"

you shrugged, falling back to your seat as you raise your eyebrow in a comical way, "that.." whispering ever so seductively, "prince."

"p-prince?

"yes!" the teacup rattles at your excitement oozing so much that you tapped the table a couple of times. "what happen? what's the tea~"

she lets out a soft giggle, a bit amused by your excitement. "i have no idea what you're trying to imply, milady."

"wait? what are you saying? didn't the prince went to you last night?"

Liz shook her head slowly, her expressions clearly stating that she absolutely don't know what and who you were talking about as a smile pulled up on her lips once again, taking a few sip from her teacup.

veins popped out from your neck as it dawned on you, your head snapped towards the castle on top of the mountain, you stupid of a prince! you cussed at him endlessly at the back of your mind, tightening your fist as your ears and nose fuming in anger. how dare he? he didn't listen to you at all? what in the actual fuck? would this somehow divert the original route? a dozen question arise into your mind one after another, causing you to let out an exaggerated sigh.

facepalming yourself as you imagined the imaginary heavenly light on top of you, weeping to yourself about how tremendously unlucky you are to have a hard headed male lead. it's impossible, you have never added a trait so irritating like this in his profile so how could this happen?

"milady?" the gentle voice of your precious female lead pulled you out of your inner desperation, you leaned in closer, whining so much over how unlucky you were and such, the rest only being in your mind as you pouted.

"ah, i remember now, the prince—"

"WHAT?—" you immediately seated yourself after giving her a potential heart attack, "my apologies, what did you actually.. remember?"

"i assume you were talking about the prince from yesterday? prince jake?"

"no not that bitch— oh certainly not him, ehem.." you took a couple of exaggerated coughs, avoiding her evident confusion. "isn't there a prince.. name jungwon with you that night?"

"oh my goodness! right! prince jungwon!" she shook her head in disbelief with her finger on her head.

right, how did you even forgot that the female lead in front of you had a "weak ass memory" in her profile description. tsk tsk, truly a forgetful author you are. you should be trying your best to remember the things you wrote before and revise it as best as you can, to avoid any possible problems in the future, atleast.

"right, how did i even forget, the prince asked me for your name, milady—"

"huh?" you look at her with confusion, as you were out of reality a couple of seconds ago. your orbs terribly widened as her words slowly sinking in to your brain. "HUH?"

ask your name?! why your name, why not hers?! what did the prince ate that night before stumbling onto your way that he had to ask for your name before the female lead—his own lover?!

laughing awkwardly, you raise your leg on top of another as you nervously swayed your hands repeatedly. "oh dear, oh dear. you might have heard it wrong, the prince?—" snorting outloud as you gestured to yourself, "asking for my name? what a funny news!"

"i didn't, milady. the prince came to me and asked me for your name, as he was immensely curious of who you are so i—"

"so what?—" you can't believe this, you really can't bring yourself to believe any words she was uttering. you should have been bestowed by the news that the prince had taken an interest in her, a hand in marriage, or anything, anything as long as you're out of the picture! "y-you didn't tell him my name, d-didn't you?"

"of course, i did!" exclaimed she did with the widest grin ever.

why are you so freaking happy over this?! clasping your head in your hands as you tragically fall on your knees causing the lady to gasp in shock, ushering to your side to get you up.

"milady?! what's wrong?"

"d-dear," you pouted as you look up to her, "you didn't tell him where my manor's at, r-right?"

she simply replied, "i did? the prince informed me that he's going to send a letter for you to be his partner to the ball."

an imaginary arrow struck back to your heart, forming a humongous hole that threatens to give you a panic attack. what? what in the actual fuck? did you accidentally did something to divert the original story you yourself created? but you didn't even do anything! you tried to do your best to keep the interaction with him as short as possible and he dared to take an interest in you?!

"milady, a letter from the royal palace had arrived for you."

"discard it. throw it. keep it away from my sight."

"milady?!" Liz and the head of the maid exclaimed in utter shock at your nonchalant answer.

"forget about it, forget about it." you clasped your forehead in utter disappointment, yet your brain were creating another plan b for this unexpected turn of events. what should you do? even more so, what would you do now that the prince had asked for you to be by his side to the ballroom?

this won't do, you won't let this happen—you had to look as unattractive and ugly as possible for him to cringe on and finally divert his attention back to the rightfully person who deserved it; the female lead.

your maids could only fall apart every single time you pluck out the enchanting gems they attached on your hair, ears and wrists. their efforts deemed futile as always as you had no mood for any sort of events, it was like a slap to their face as you initially weren't like this. you overheard them that they couldn't get used to how you were adamant in staying behind the spotlight as you often did your very best in dressing yourself up before, with the sole intention of gaining the favour of men and even more better, a prince.

of course, they are totally oblivious to your real identity. only a series of jaw gaping one after another with your change of character, at first—you had a dilemma over whether you should act like the character you created but you later scrap the idea as soon as the anxiety of being engulfed in the crowd suffocated your chest. opting to avoid as many as balls or public events as possible, but that obviously didn't work out that well since you heard of the female lead's arrival from the country side—just like you intended it to be.

and being the proud mother (writer) you are, of course why wouldn't you take one single look at her and see of how far she had came? but alas, one interaction leads to another one and so on—till finally, you became her best friend throughout her entire journey. waiting for the male lead's arrival, and watch their romances blooming and per se—but oh well, look at the situation you were in right now; total disaster.

you truly despise being in such an extravagant puffy gown and the numerous accessories hugging your skin, it's tremendously uncomfortable that you wanted to rip it off part in front of the prince standing before you right now, and right here.

asking for your hand to dance with that odd kittenish smile, that you swore you had never ever written in his personality profile; he should never have been this casual and chill over a person he had just met. he should've been cold as fuck, icy to touch, and a spiralling disaster if you dare to talk to him, so why?

plus how could he have taken an interest in you? you couldn't possibly have added a dose of the love at first sight trope, didn't you? you despised that trope to your very core.

"milady? may i?" he extended his hand before you, patiently waiting for your answer.

you had decided that you're going to reject him quick and efficient—just like the local fast food restaurant your mouth kept drooling over for, smashing a five star review for their inhuman speedy delivery.

"you see, prince jungwon. i have no desire to have a connection with you, a relationship, as a matter of fact."

he raised his eyebrow, seemingly unfazed by your bold words. "i'm curious milady, why so? have i done something that perhaps had annoyed you?"

cliché question, you loathe that. "what if i said you did?"

"then tell me, milady. i'll try my hardest to own up to you—" he took a steps forward, which causes you to immediately step back as well with a frown on your face. you can't, not in this life, to even give him a single chance to get close to you. nah uh.

"no need, and stay one meter apart, please." you pointed your index finger towards the floor and he hesitated, but complied immediately.

"i." you raise your index finger back to yourself and then at him, "don't like you. do you understand?"

"b-but?"

"stop questioning me, prince jungwon." you stayed firm in your spot, "i believe it's a common decency to step back when a lady had voiced out her opinion, a prince like you certainly would understand, am i right?"

Jungwon was clearly taken aback, the fact that you didn't give him a single chance to utter a word nor take a step closer was a hard punch to his face. It feels as if he was trying to reach for you, but you efficiently dodged it with ease. It kind of.. annoys him.

"base on how you didn't say anything anymore, i assumed we're done here! well then, goodbye prince jungwon." you turned your heels towards the entrance, not bothering to waste any time at this goddamn ball. "i hope this will be the very last." you scoffed inside your mind, eager for the story to return to it's original route, and that the prince would soon deem you useless and such—returning to the female lead's arms.

hm, now where's your precious female lead? she should've appeared right now and right here, strike the pot while it's hot!

"i'm afraid i can't back down that easily, milady." jungwon took a few steps forward, wrapping his hand round your wrist as he spun you around to face his eyes filled with blazing determination. one that you specifically added on top of his profile so that your readers would kept it in mind.

your breath hitched down your throat as you remembered there's only two reasons he could have this; one that reminds you when he was at war, shouting at the top of his voice to encourage his soldiers as they push through the enemies, and another reason of it appearing is when he have to get what he wanted, or else all hell will break loose, chaos will ensue.

right, you're truly an idiot. staying a few years in this novel without any memories, and only for it to surface back when you stumble upon the library—dozens of books flickering a series of eccentric images in your mind. It had cause you to lose all memories of important details, only emerging everytime you are presented with a situation you couldn't comprehend. such as when you forgot that the female lead had memory problems and such.

"i'll only present this choices to you, milady. since you tremendously intrigued me over how well spoken you were and fascinating indeed—" bitch, you don't even know how you had the sudden ability to confront him but you were just sure as hell that you don't want to ruin your own novel. no fucking way.

you can't let him have the upper hand on you.

"let me go." irritated to your core, you tried untangle Jungwon's tight grasp on your wrist but he won't budge even an inch which only had you fuming in anger. "i said let me go, bitch!"

the crowd emits a series of gasps and murmurs as you spun around—twisting the prince's arms which had him yelping in pain, and ultimately pinning him onto the ground. with rage consuming you that nothing was going in your way, you slammed your hands on the both side of his head. clenching your jaw and gritting your teeth as you emphasised each word. "you are one a dumb hell of a bitch, when i said i do not want to see you anymore. i mean it. so—"

"so what?" his smug look resurfaces, one that emerges whenever he was being challenged. yes, do that! he should despise you, not take an interest in you! he should loathe you so much that he can't even gaze at you for a second. excitement surged through your veins as you open your mouth, preparing for the last blow.

"so, get lost. just because you're a prince doesn't mean every girl would fall for you, idiot."

an even more louder gasp emits from the crowd as they clearly heard what you said, their jaw gaping and some covering their mouths with their hands as their mind are now bombarded with random questions over how exceedingly brave you are to insult the royal prince, and of what fate will you met now that you've done such an atrocious act.

a low giggle sent shivers down your spine, and goosebumps to riled over your neck as you realise the prince under you had the widest smirk on his face. you frowned deeply, he shouldn't be smirking! he should be fuming in anger and throwing you out of the palace at this moment. so why?!...

"oh milady, how truly fascinating you are." you let out a loud yelp when he grabbed both of your wrists, pulling you closer to his face—a dangerous close proximity against his fluttering eyelashes and lips that your breath caught up in your throat which causes your cheeks to heated up in embarrassment of what kind of position you two were in right now. "i like you, you would certainly be a perfect fit to be by my side."

"what?!" you exclaimed, jaws dropping and eyes about to pop out at his very words. "i don't want to be by your side—"

"a lady like you, i'm afraid to say, intrigues me very much..." Jungwon shots a kittenish wink right through your heart. "be my wife, milady. i'll show you how good I can be for you."

「 © talesofyuan on tumblr 2023 」 all rights reserved. do not copy or post without permission.

[possiblylando]

HTP; Ghoul Lore Audio Log Spoilers/Analysis/Discussion

Dude holy shit uh Spoiler barrier and then all in cause

Okay Okay fuck where to begin this episode literally changes everything okay I guess lets start at the Draught. Based on what we know about this unique Draught, it means Grimal might not be the ghoul?? If the ghoul potentially has this Draught (which I vaguely doubt will come into play in this arc specifically) it could mean anyone could be the ghoul so long as they were only in a place without 1 other person. Atleast I assume so because if they could use this high power Dominate on multiple people simultaneously then this whole operation would be cooked from the start. While I was very mixed on the idea of Gloria as the Ghoul previously, I think its far more possible now. This high level Dominate (Lets assume 4 dots) This ghoul could have access to Rationalize or Forgetful Mind, Or any others in that category. If Grimal is was being commanded to act that could explain why everything is so suspicious around her. Have someone else go in and take care of Occam while the ghoul sits with someone else and has the perfect alibi. So now I think the possibilities for Ghoul are; 1. Grimal is the Ghoul (The Draught is a red herring and simply setting up something in a future arc instead of this current one.) 2. Gloria is the Ghoul & has this Draught; this is based more on Vibes and the fact Gloria doesn't actually do too much in part 1 outside checking Occam's pulse. If she's the ghoul and commanded someone (Namely Grimal) to attack Occam, she would have a vested interested in knowing if the attack was successful. Okay thats about it for my thoughts on the Ghoul right now. Onto the far more important bit of this episode. Because this was not simpyl a Ghoul Lore episode, THIS WAS A MARCKUS LORE EPISODE TROJAN HORSE.

But before the deep Marckus shit- Markus was 12 in 1988. Door was present and seems to be in his 20s or 30s. Boy has not been born yet and Boy is 11 in 2006 so he was born in like 1995. So I think its reasonable to place door as being in his 20s here, having Boy in his 30s. This means Door is probably 8-15? (Maybe) years older than Markus which would make him roughly 40 in modern day. D does look markedly younger in these photographs but I'm not sure if thats art style or actually because he's aged. It does put a damped on my thoughts about D being MUCH older than he seems. But we do know his previous Ex-Wife Rozalia (The Ghoul) is roughly 108 in modern day. It seems to be implied D had met & later married her after she was pretty deep into being a ghoul so there probably was a large age gap already. But it still kinda stands out to me. D is very afraid or Marckus becoming a Ghoul because he sees himself in him. I don't necessarily think D was a ghoul (thought it could explain his weird age). Thought all this might be confirmation Bias as in the more recent episodes D's hair has been more consistently colored with grey streaks when compared to earlier episodes where it was more like a sheen in his hair. It just feels like D has done too much to only be roughly in his 60-70s and very fit. While older people can certainly be in good physical condition it doesnt seem like D has suffered any real negatives from aging? He's MINIMUM 18 years older than Door who is in his 40s but again that's a low ball. I don't know. Alright time for the Marckus stuff. So its rather basic background knowledge that HTP's main cast is inspired by the cast of Warhammer 40k TTS. Now up until this point I had thought it was mostly a baseline thing. Only really carrying over personalities and vague relationships between characters while having the freedom to change them with that background knowledge. But based on this episode it appears to be more relevant.

Whatever the fuck Marckus managed to summon, It was something not even D understood. This is in directly parallel with 40k's Magnus who Marckus is based on. For those who don't know about 40k lore (I don't blame you its VERY long.), Magnus is a Primarch (Emperor's special kids) who ended up being manipulated by 40k's god of trickery and ended up fucking up literally everything because of his lack of thinking things through and the influence of said trickster god. Gods in 40k are manifestations of humanity (and alien's) collective subconscious minds and often take the forms of their most volatile negative aspects. They're entited formed from 'The Warp' which is the source of magic in 40k. Magnus is very naturally tuned to the warp. Almost all the issues in TTS (and 40k) relating to Magnus are because he has a MASSIVE complex. He craves parental affection and affirmation but in TTS every time he thinks hes denied it, some shit goes wrong. When he actually gets that parental affection (Earlier season 2 iirc) he mellows out alot until finding out the only reason the emperor (D's counterpart) brought him back was so that Magnus would act as a pawn and decoy in his 5d chess game to deal with political enemies. Magnus is not happy about this. With all this background information, whats present in this episode slots into place. Marckus seems to have forgotten about the incident yes. The better case is that he blocked out the memory due to trauma. But the worse possibility is that a seed was planted. One that's been festering within him since that time. D may be planning to tell Marckus everything in a few months, But I get the feeling before those months are up, That seed will sprout. In one form or another, Marckus will be given the option to go down the same path of darkness as his predecessor. I don't think Marckus would go for such a path without a push but the one providing that push might be D, even if unintentionally. D is so focused on the forest that he's missing the trees.

[xo-cod]

"you don't trust me like i trust you"

the words echoed from his lips as he let out a soft resigned sigh, his face knitted in the same frowning pensive look he usually gave to his team when they were receiving bad news. it was odd being on the receiving end of it as you watch your husband lean against the counter tops. his black jacket discarded on top of the couch, revealing the compression top he had worn underneath highlighting his bulging muscles and broad frame

"what do you mean?" your voice was next, raising your brow as you look at him. but there's no lightheartedness about him tonight, he looks defeated and you couldn't help feeling guilty. your stomach in knots for being partly responsible as he brushes himself slightly trying to organise his thoughts.

"tonight. with your parents. you just froze up when they asked about me, what was that?" he asked again, his tone confused and hurt as he tried to understand your point of view. the night had consisted of a dinner with your parents and while you loved price with all your heart, you knew it would be difficult to explain your backstory with him. his true nature, his job.

so you chose to omit a few details but none of that had escaped price's watchful gaze. he kept his mouth shut, swallowing down the words that desperately wanted to be said with a forced smile as he watched you answer for him. every false thing to avoid the truth twisted the knife that much more until he excused himself early to the car, muttering some excuse as he left the place gulping down air that didn't seem to fully reach his lungs.

until now, back at home where he couldn't take another word and confronted you hoping you'd prove him wrong. but every second that ticks by and the dread only continued to grow.

"it's been a long night" you spoke back, your tone a warning not to delve into the matter tonight as you tried to side step him but he stands in the way. his brow furrowed as he looked down at you refusing to let it go, challenging you back as he stood there.

"it bloody well has been. which is why i need you to explain exactly what the hell that dinner was" his voice is sharp, a command as he looks at you expectantly his form tense. he looked angry and it only caused your temper to rise as you tried to move away, hoping not to escalate the situation.

"you're embarassed of me, aren't you?" the words were cold, harsh as he eyed your movements carefully. he knew you well, he knew your moods having been married to you for three years. he took pride in that, having knowing you better than himself.

you froze at the words, quickly trying to compose yourself but even that was a second too long as his eyes darkened. shock on his face. confirmation, resignation on yours

you almost hated how well he read you and in this moment, he shared the same notion.

"so what it is then, my work? me? what, aren't i good enough for your love anymore??" he snapped as he clenched his fists, taking a few steps forwards as his eyes narrowed in on your face. trying and hoping you'd tell him it was all in his head, that he was overanalysing everything. that there had to be a reasonable explanation for all this

he forgot, however, that sometimes not everything plans out the way he so desperately wished they would.

"no, maybe not! this whole thing was a mistake, this whole marriage is a joke" the words tumbled out of your lips before you had a chance to comprehend them and the realisation dawned on you when you see his face, his stoic demeanour cracking under your proverbial hammer. it made you instantly regret saying a thing, your breaths hard and fast as you stutter slightly. he almost deflates a little, his heart thundering under his chest but his face rests usually. almost like he had expected the disappointment to come naturally

"i see" it's the only sentence that leaves his lips, you can see the hurt swimming in his eyes practically threatening to drown you whole. you don't think in all the three years you've been married to john, see him in this state before. his muscles tense and rigid, rooted to the spot looking you over before his gaze falls to the floor. unsure of what to even say, what could he say to that anyway? his wife, his love, proving to him that he was his worst fear. that he was a burden, you simply couldn't get rid of.

price felt a stabbing pain in his chest as if on cue reminding him of the pain he felt regularly whenever he missed you. even when you were there, standing right in front of him, he missed you. but it was clear you didn't feel the same and the realisation only hurt him that much more. who knew people could carry this much pain with them? surviving a war seemed much easier than this

his arms closed around his chest, partly for comfort and self soothe. partly to keep him from falling into the dark abyss that threatened to overtake him, to keep you out even though you were so deeply intertwined with his very soul it would be impossible to completely remove you without taking a huge part of him

"i know what they say, i've heard it before. i know have a bad past, i know my job is unconventional" he starts as his adam apple bobbs in his throat, brows creased as he speaks

"but i didn't think the first person i've ever had a true and honest connection with, would give me hell on top of that. i thought you would've seen more to me than that. you're my wife for christ's sake, my best friend..... i need time. i need space" it almost pains him to say the words as much as it hurts you to hear them. his voice was was soft, low, and almost like a plea. he rarely ever sounded like that. he seemed tired, broken, and fragile standing before your eyes. hardly the formidable strong captain everyone knew him to be. it only pains you that much more when you see the true extent of the damage your words have done.

who knew it took five minutes to completely shatter three years of marriage just like that

it's the only thing he offers you for the night as he turns his back, settling on the couch. you know it won't be comfortable for him, his muscles already look cramped but he's made his mind. he doesn't even have to be angry, to be fuming as he should've been. he didn't get the urge to throw himself into a workout and lift the weights until the familiar burn settled into his bones whenever he worked himself too hard. to punch the lights out of the hanging bag until he felt his knuckles cramp and ache.

no, tonight he felt inexplicably sad. as if the person he thought you were deep down had completely obliterated into pieces, your words had been like bullets hurting him more than anything physical could've done. maybe he didn't know you as well as he thought and that made him feel worse, trying to bury it all deep down to get some rest for the night. deep down knowing he would hardly find some relief to soothe the ache deep down in him.

a soft sigh passes your lips, every ounce of your heart throbbing to hold him one more time. to touch his skin, to feel his comfort, to feel those strong arms pull you to the safety of his chest his heartbeat a soft hum under his chest.

but tonight you've lost that privilege and you walk away, resigning to a room filled with loneliness and despair without your other half to keep you company. your hand strokes his empty side, missing the way his warmth would seep into your skin while he cradled you close to his chest. his nose buried in your neck, nuzzling your skin.

you loved it all, now you missed it terribly.

[xanasaurusrex]

hi can u make some hcs of hecate’s cabin/childs?

⇢ ˗ˏˋ hecate cabin headcanons ࿐ྂ

of course i can do hecate cabin headcanons! i love hecate, she's one of my favorite of the gods. also, fun fact, there's a lot of debate on where hecate originated, like they think that maybe she was an anatolian goddess that the greeks "stole," and she also has some egyptian history? i did some research on her real quick and it was honestly fascinating! anyways, here are the hecate cabin hcs!

something to note about hecate kids is that all of them, every single one, is kind of a mystery in their own respect

there's a lot of mystery surrounding hecate, so even the most open of hecate kids is going to have something they're keeping to themselves

hecate kids, specifically before they're kind of taught to master their abilities, have a habit of accidentally spelling people

like, for example, say a hecate kid has a really annoying kid in their bio class that won't shut up

if they think really hard about how much they want that person to shut their mouth, magically, they will

it's something they were never able to explain

until they were claimed by hecate, of course

they also all have dark eyes

not necessarily a good color, per se, but there's something about their eyes that are dark

most hecate kids get her green eyes, which could only be described as "enchanting" of course

the hecate cabin often smells like burned sage and/or incense, and always has a smoky hue because of that

there are star charts and moon charts and things like that literally everywhere, practically littering the cabin floor

hecate kids are kinda messy

all of them, just find it really hard to keep themselves organized enough to make the cabin organized enough

this gets them into trouble sometimes, but they have... ways of convincing whoever's inspecting the cabin to leave them alone

hecate kids also always have crystals in their pockets

like, literally, at any given time, with an outfit that has pockets, they have crystals that are used for different things in said pockets

they have necklaces and earrings and rings with crystals on them as well, all having different purposes based on what they want their day to be like

there are a few kids at camp who are like "crystals don't even work" and blah blah blah, but the hecate kids know better

the kids that say that are usually idiots, but yknow

(obviously i'm not saying that if you don't believe in crystals irl you're an idiot, but this is camp half-blood and their mother is hecate, so obviously they're gonna work for them)

hecate kids can sometimes be known as "two-faced" when it comes to relationships

this probably comes from the fact that their mother has three faces

except this is a more literal meaning in this sense

the hecate cabin also does a lot of tarot readings

that's like, one of the first things you learn at camp if you're claimed by hecate

everyone has their own deck, and it's customized to you, it's a whole thing

it's like hecate cabin culture kinda

if you have a hecate child friend, you've probably gotten your future read by them at one point

obviously future-telling is more an apollo cabin thing, so the predictions usually aren't correct, but it's fun anyways

ooh! and ouija boards

ouija boards with the hecate kids are so fun because they get so into it, and usually it's actually working and they're actually talking to a dead person

i mean, it's camp half-blood

probably a lot of people have died there (rip)

it's especially fun if they can manage to convince a hades child to play with them, because then the hades kid can actually hear them and help translate if the ouija boards are being kinda confusing

it's not the most reliable way to talk to a dead person, as any hades kid will tell you

hecate kids are also avid readers

not as consistent as athena kids, but they have their own little library in the hecate cabin, with lots of fantasy books and historical fiction

they're also really good with recommendations, so if you ever need a book rec, honestly go to the hecate kids first

they take your personality and reading background into account when giving you a book rec, and pretty much every time, whatever they recommend, you're actually going to enjoy

hecate kids also make the worst chariots

when they do the chariot race (i'm not sure if this is actually something they do on a regular basis, but they did it in one of the books in the original series so i'm going with it), and every cabin has to make their own chariot, hecate makes the worst chariots and get out first almost every time

honestly it doesn't really bother them anymore because they just genuinely have no idea how to make a good chariot

hecate isn't exactly known for her fighting abilities

usually in battle, the hecate kids stay as far away as possible and use their magic to help the fight

hecate kids are also criminally indecisive

they’re the masters of eenie meanie miny moe

they’re also known to have coins always rattling around in their pocket because sometimes they have to flip a coin to make a decision

they also have lots of magic 8 balls even though they know they’re faulty

(faulty, not fake 😉)

moving on

hecate kids also really like tim burton movies

it might have something to do with the fact that tim burton is a hecate child, but they also just really like the movies

they give off the same vibe

(there is a rumor at hecate cabin that tim burton used some hecate baby magic to make his movies)

only occasionally though

so yeah, that’s all i have for hecate kids

they’re all super unique and interesting

they are definitely sort of strange, but that’s what makes them so cool!

sorry if that was awkward i never know how to end these things

so that’s it for hecate cabin hcs! i had so much fun writing this, and thanks so much for the request! i just wanted to say thank you to everybody liking and following and reblogging for the support, this is already so fun! i have a couple requests for different cabin headcanons and that i haven’t been able to get to because ive had to rewrite this one about three times, which is kinda frustrating, but i love how that turned out! thanks sm for reading!

[curio-queries]

ARE YOU SURE?!

Episode 3 production Notes

I genuinely wasn't expecting to have much to say on this when I started it but there are definitely some things to chat about with this episode. Get comfy, it's another long post!

Here's a link to my post on eps 1 & 2.

(I guess this is a series now)

The Tone

I was curious about how a few things would be handled with the remainder of the show, and some of the answers are starting to unfold. We definitely have to see how the upcoming episodes play out but there's at least something to evaluate.

My main takeaway from episode 3 is that the tone is so very different from the previous ones. In my last post, I spent quite a bit explaining why AYS was a successful mix of Bon Voyage and In The Soop. That's definitely not the case here. This episode is a mix of Bon Voyage and Run BTS tonally. This episode is more what I was expecting they'd try to do with the edit to highlight the chaos and shenanigans that were a main ingredient in the content of BTS as a full team, especially to cover for the reduced member count from the full group.

Some of the main items that make this episode seem more energetic than the previous ones are:

The timeline. Episode 3 covers far less time than 1 or 2 did. It makes it seem like there's just too much going on to fit in the same parameters, which again makes the tone seem overall more rushed and hectic.

The music: far higher bpms consistently on all of the backing tracks.

The choppy edits. When we recognize that there was something missing in the middle of an interaction, our brains are still processing what we might have missed and orienting to what we're seeing next. With all of that going on, it easy to feel 'left behind' in even the most casual of scenes.

The intended audience. I just had one moment here that bumped me. At some point one of the members clearly says 'Fighting' but the translation wasn't just that word. It was a whole sentence about wishing for encouragement or something. These episodes have been very clearly laid out for an audience that is not only familiar with BTS but enough so that we know who each of these members are and why they might be doing these kinds of activities. If you had none of this basic knowledge, I genuinely don't think this show is even watchable...so why would people with that level of understanding need an alternate translation to 'Fighting'? Idk, maybe I'm being overly sensitive but like I said, it bumped me enough to question who their target audience was. Something I didn't even question with the prev eps.

Edited to add: an example of the tone influenced by the edit. Can't believe I forgot this one. It stood out to me in my first watchthrough. Thankfully our beautiful giffers captured the story beats for us all.

The Edit

Like I said at the beginning, this episode was far less a blend of ITS and BV and more a mashup of BV with Run BTS. The only thing in this episode that reminds me of ITS is the extremely choppy edit, which i think most would agree was not one of the highlights of those shows.

There are so many unresolved story beats in this episode of AYS! If you're not used to noticing something like this, here's an example:

In the car after their meal, vmin discuss that it'd be nice to pull over for some pics.

At the coffee drive through, Jimin makes a point to coordinate a stopover with JK so he can have his drink.

...and then we arrive at the house with no resolution. Did they stop? Did JK get his drink? We don't know, the only evidence we have is Tae carrying his partially consumed drink. So IF they stopped, Tae either didn't drink his or it was a very brief stop to not finish.

Here's another one:

When arriving at the house, the guys are all commenting bout how nice the place is.

Jimin exclaims about the pool.

...we don't get an establishing shot of the pool. On a rewatch of the episode, once you already know where it is, you're able to notice it for the slightest of moments but that's it. No hint of how big the pool is or even where in relation to the members it's located. It's just a tiny thing, not even important to the storyline but it leaves the audience without a reference to what the members are talking about.

There are dozens more of examples I could list but I think you get the idea. Again, not a big deal on small productions but you KNOW there was plenty of b-roll footage of the place. We see some of it. These are mostly just tiny observations that, if isolated wouldn't mean anything, but repeatedly set the tone for how the audience will be experiencing the rest of the episode.

The Guest

Another choppy edit is how they handled the introduction of Tae and the narrative that explains his presence here when he wasn't in the previous episodes. They either didn't get any good footage explaining it or they decided to purposefully try to cut it 'dynamically' for a reveal... in my opinion, this was not successfully done and just leaves the viewer feeling like we just need to accept the confusion and enjoy the endearing moments....which is exactly one of the main things I comment on in my Run BTS series. The BTS production team is astoundingly terrible at entertaining exposition. Long time armys are just used to it by now and I really don't see them changing anytime soon. They know ppl will watch the content for the moments we get to spend with the members, whether there's a proper narrative or not, so why bother?

Anyway, it's clear to see why those who have a bias against Tae have been using this as ammunition in their fanwars. It's just an awkward narrative that was poorly presented. (Personally, I'd rather everyone just focus on celebrating the members moments with each other rather than warping them to win imaginary points in a pointless battle but alas, I'm just an aging fan in a space that rewards useless vitriol).

Jimin's sickness...again

Poor guy just can't catch a break! At least that was the point they were trying to make editing it this way. Honestly, Jimin has so far been not as impacted as he was the previous episodes. Likely due to this upset being far more mild than the last one. However, there's so much more tension with it cut the way it was in episode3. It's not just that we're aware of it upfront unlike we were in episode 1. It's only highlighted in moments where Jimin is NOT participating in whatever the others are: not eating, not swimming, not climbing. In episode 1, most of the scenes that included any mention of Jimin feeling unwell also included some hint of JK wanting to take care of him or inquiring after his health. Episode 3 includes no such scenes. The overall impact is a much lighter view of how the members spent an exciting day rather than a genuine look into how they're interacting with each other as humans.

One last note: The Sound

There are definitely some horrific sound moments this episode! So much so that I noticed some on my first watchthrough! Again, there are allowances to be made, this is not a show being shot on a sound stage in controlled conditions but some moments were just plain misses in the edit.

For example, when vmin is listening to music in the car, the balancing of SEVEN from vmin's audio is horrific. The way to do this properly is manage the audio levels of their voices alone and overlay with the music track. This will help mask any audio that leaked into their mics. Something that can be easily done with rights to the music...which they have. And oh look at that, they do it correctly for J-Hope's Arson! It honestly is just coming across as a missed correction on the edit but I'd expect more from a BTS show that's licensed to Disney.

That's it for now. Overall, I'm disappointed in the edit of this episode but moreso because of how pleasantly surprised i was by the previous episodes. This one was very much kn par with other BTS content. Im also looking forward to the remaining episodes as I estimate we'll see a little more liveliness from our latenight-loving Jimin now that he's had his nap! 😆

Edited to add:

Are You Sure?! MasterList

[phantomwitch16]

Hazbin Hotel Theory: Lilith

I had never posted about Hazbin Hotel before, but I came across a theory about Lilith that I wanted to discuss. I’ve only seen clips, so correct me if I'm wrong. So, anyone who hasn't watched anything or hasn't caught up yet, WARNING: SPOILER ZONE.

At this point, everyone is quite aware of the Lilith/ Eve Theory, where Lilith left or was kidnapped by Eve to explain her disappearance for most of the show and what she was doing in Heaven. I think the theory has some promise, but some things don’t feel quite right.

In the episode where Lucifer first appears, we learn that Lilith and Lucifer seem to have split years ago. We don't know how long ago or the circumstances of the separation, with it pretty much up in the air.

It could be possible that Lucifer’s depression could've gotten in the way of their relationship (similar to his relationship with Charlie), causing some friction. This obviously would give Lilith a lot of responsibility, likely to raise Charlie and inspire the denizens of Hell by herself. We don't know much about what Lucifer does most of the time other than making ducks, keeping Lulu World running and wallowing in his depression.

I don't think that they split up, at least I don’t think that’s the whole story. There have been some odd details regarding Lilith and a few other people within the series that do add to the theory. While it's possible things might have changed during the development of the series, Viv has previously stated that Lilith and Lucifer were a very lovey-dovey couple and I doubt that she would change it. While I think their relationship would have its faults, obviously with their history and trauma, yeah, that was going to happen, but not the stereotypically 'my partner hates me' bs.

Even if they had split up, I doubt that Lilith would have just up and left Charlie without saying anything.

But anyway, since her appearance on the beach with Lute, there have been several theories about Lilith and whether she would be an antagonist or the main one. I disagree, but given how she's been pretty much a mystery for most of the series, with not much being said about her, it’s understandable most would come to this conclusion. But I doubt Lilith would be because Lilith was the one to instil Charlie to help the denizens of Hell so for her to come to disrupt her progress with the Hotel.

This obviously leads to the Lilith/Eve Theory people have come up with by what people have seen and picked apart from the show and the cards that people received before it aired. Now people who have watched the show and been on Twiiter/X or any other social media probs already know the theory, but I'll spell it out for those who don't.

Just before the show aired, people received cards on each character and a few select items in the series. Of these characters was Lilith, but there was something off with it. Instead of seeing a revamp of her original design in the pilot, it's just a close up with her face shadowed.

The image above has Lilith or who we think is Lilith sitting with her hand over her lips and a shadow over her face, only showing a sinister smile. The one thing strikes me about it was the was almost like she know that we know there was something wrong with the image and was telling us to be quiet.

So far in the show, we've only seen her in the portraits that are decorated around the hotel and in Lucifer's ducky workshop. She makes a brief appearance in Charlie’s flashbacks where we don’t even see her face, though this is largely because the attention was focused on Charlie and Lucifer. Here it shows that even her look has remained largely consistent since the pilot.

What truly defines Lilith design is her long wavy hair. But despite it, there is something different about it in the card. It's very long, obviously but as it gets closer to her face, it starts to look more uneven. Or jagged.

But what grabs the attention in the card is the smile. It looks very sharp and angular, very different to the smile that she has in the portraits and in her depiction on the storybook in the first episode.

But we've already seen it somewhere. Just not on Lilith.

Obviously, this isn't a new take. This is a very popular take that nearly everyone has heard.

I like to think that with the reveal, we will get a more factual retelling of what happened when Lilith and Lucifer rather than what came out of the story book Charlie was reading, likely something her mother made for her when she was growing up. Mainly what happened to Eve as they cleverly avoided it. While we don't know if they're going to tackle it, it's likely that they will discuss Eve's life after eating the fruit and her very long life. I think that while Adam was sent to heaven to become one of the exterminators, Eve became one of the first original sinners sent to Hell.

There are several ways they could handle it with it's possible the Eve is starting a little bit of chaos using the knowledge Lilith and Lucifer gave her. With Lilith attempting to stop her alongside Lute and the rest of Heaven.

For what reason? She could've taken up a new identity after death. that identity being called Roo. Or more specifically, the Root of All Evil.

Roo is someone that's been known for since 2019 and someone Viv is excited to introduce since she first drew her, calling her a looming threat amongst the series. Hints of her appearance have been placed throughout the pilot on the tower and on the show. I believe that Lilith, Lute and Eve are working together with Heaven to track down Roo to destroy her hold on Earth or to prevent her from doing something to Hell, Heaven and Earth.

It's also likely that she is the demon Alastor is chained to. Why her specifically and not Lilith? Besides the timeline matching, there is very little opportunity for them to meet. Even though Alastor has made a big name for himself in the Pride Ring, Lucifer has not heard of him, so why would Lilith? But that just might be a Lucifer thing, they probably could've met after one of Lilith's shows or something.

Knowing Alastor as a person, he would've been in a very desperate situation, or maybe he was too cocky like with Adam and picked a fight with her, thinking that she was some random Overlord or low ranking demon who knocked him down and stole his soul. With her having control over him, then he is willing to do anything to get out of their agreement. Whether its to play around and isolate the princess of Hell from her support network, to make her hopes and dreams crumble to dust.

It could be possible Lilith left Charlie and Lucifer to focus on Roo, with it likely that Lucifer knows what's she's up to and tries to shield her from what's happening. But as the hotel gets more popular, Roo's attention is directed to it, thus putting Charlie and all three realms in danger. Lilith would come to Charlie, try to sugarcoat it as best as possible before revealing Roo as a threat. Then when she comes there, Alastor betrays them, but as he is free, has a change of heart and attempts to help.

That's what i think anyway.

[avelera]

A few random thoughts about the comic issue of "Men of Good Fortune" in The Sandman and how they pertain to Dreamling as a ship based on the show.

I get the sense when reading MoGF that it's a... shall we say, "young" story? It's the sort of story that has its seeds in your high school creative writing class. You're learning about English history and you're also writing short stories and you think, "Wouldn't it be cool if two guys met every 100 years to talk about these events I'm learning about and it's the same guys because they're immortal?"

I say this in part because I wrote a similar story in high school without having read MoGF, but also because it's a very simple story with no actual plot arc, nothing actually changes by the end in the original comic. The addition of Dream "missing" the meeting adds a lot of weight and consequence that isn't there in the comic. The closest it gets is, "Dream says he's not going to come to the next 1989 meeting but then a bunch of stuff happens off screen and he shows up anyway, thus confirming they are indeed friends." That is barely a plot beat of any kind, nothing really changes, it just clarifies that they are friends, which we could have suspected the whole time.

Anyway, on that note, I've got a deep-seated suspicion that in the very earliest drafts of this story, Dream was Death. Because it makes sense. Death spares a commoner on the condition that he report back every century to tell about how his life is going. Also, Death is certain that this mortal will want to die at some point because of all the horrible things he's living through, but in the end he doesn't and they become friends.

Again, this is a very simple story, basically a fable. Then this story is lifted into a new setting, the Sandman universe, and the antagonist of Death is turned into Dream but Death is still there, because Death as a figure makes much more sense than Dream as the basis for this wager.

I've commented many times before that Hob has less than nothing to go on as far as guessing Dream's identity but that one very natural conclusion he could come to is that Dream is Death because Death is much easier and thematically consistent with what happens in the story than Dream. Dream even remarks in the show (paraphrased) that, "[He] is far more terrible than Death," which objectively makes very little sense other than in their personal mannerisms.

But Dream's curiosity as to Hob's will to live isn't all that consistent with his function as Lord of Dreams, can you really tell me that the Lord of Dreams can't conceive of a mortal that would want to live forever, who wouldn't dream of living forever? IMO this is one more piece of evidence that the story was lifted from an earlier draft where there is no Dream and Death, there is only Death and Hob, with Death left in as sort of a homage to the original premise and to explain why Dream would get involved at all in such a wager.

It also kind of explains why the implications of this centuries-long friendship get largely ignored until quite late in the Sandman comics. Dream would be Hob's only constant, at least that he can speak to and isn't like the Sun and the Moon or something, and yet our only nod to this is very very late in the comics.

Again, I think this is because in a fable about Death and A Normal Guy meeting over and over as a commentary on English history, it makes perfect sense that you wouldn't really explore the interpersonal implications of how Hob feels about this guy, if Hob cares about this guy, because it's Death, clearly this is just a fable.

But once it's not Death, once it's someone else, once Dream's interactions with this guy actually don't align with his function, actually rather glaringly doesn't align with his function such that his relationship with Hob actually becomes Dream's biggest singular point of individuality, the biggest piece of proof that he is an individual person and not just his function because watching this guy live has nothing to do with his function because he's not Death, then we also begin to wonder how important are these guys to one another, as individuals, because it's not a simple, streamlined fable anymore about Death and Just A Guy meeting.

Basically, I think that as is often the case, the inconsistencies are what give some of Gaiman's juvenilia works the charm that they have. They raise more questions than they answer, because they're not rigorously plotted and the implications of certain story decisions aren't explored, for example even how magic like immortality works in this world doesn't really make consistent sense (ex. Orpheus and Hob have very different immortalities within the same story despite both being gifted by Death, one can't choose to die whenever he wants and there's no explanation as to why this is other than The Story Demands It, which is rather clumsy but does lend to a sense of myth).

It's not until much later in the author's career in the comic and (retconned with) the show that the narratives begins to inquire into things like, "What do these two individuals mean to each other as people. Does Hob mourn Dream, or think of him when he's not there? Does the singularity of Hob in Dream's life matter to him, or give him pause?" all questions that would be absurd in a simplistic fable about Death and Just A Dude but once lifted from that original context, create fascinating inconsistencies that begin to matter and become fodder for deeper explorations as seen in fanfiction and shipping these two characters.

[last-flight-of-fancy]

hi hello i hope you don't mind but Special Interest Infodump Mode has been activated please keep hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times-

this explanation comes to us courtesy of Dark Road! You know, that cutesy little mobile game where literally the whole cast except the two protagonists dies. This is on brand bc the explanation has it's own fridge horror levels to it if i think too hard about it tbh.

So, worlds have hearts. We've known this since KH1, seen what happens to a world that loses its heart, and how they can be affected. It's rarely been expounded on beyond that however, aside vague allusions to the titular Kingdom Hearts being/harboring the Heart of All Worlds.

(which has. other implications now that i think about it but that's stepping into theorising territory. im sorry im trying really hard to stay on track honest)

fast forward to Dark Road, where we have a bunch of kids venturing out into the worlds for the first time, and as such have to have things explained to them (and thus the audience). NOW i will note here that KH looooooves unreliable narrators and characters imparting incorrect information without knowing it, so there is always the possibility that this could later turn out to be wrong, but currently I see no reason this would be the case and thus for now i feel safe in taking their words at face value unless otherwise contradicted.

Why are there no people? Because each world is alive, and after the Keyblade War sundering THE World into MANY Worlds, each needed to recover and restore what was lost; life, time, movement.

This bit here is important, bc as a result

All of this is the direct result of the Keyblade War of old. Even after so much time, the bits of worlds are *still* recovering, and I do think there's something to be said about how like... the repition between worlds and their apparent stagnation often *stops* after Sora visits them. I don't think it's because Sora's special(tm), but rather just because of who he is; the Dark Road kids are told never to interfere, and as a result the worlds they visit that Sora also visits later are exactly the same to Sora as they were 80+ years before.

But when Sora visits the same world only a short time after his first visit, things CHANGE. Hercules' story moves forward, Simba is having a crisis about being king, Jack Skellington has learned his lesson about Christmas and is on to new shenanigans. And that's only in kh2! in kh3 we see Twilight Town fill with people, barren Olympus expands into a full town (and there's more there too with BBS and how the Wayfinder Trio may have been Olympus' start towards restoring itself completely, and Sora's later arrival more speeding things along)

my point here is *connections*, which is a consistant and overarching theme of the series. Empty worlds are baby worlds, still healing and restoring from being broken away from the rest, and what helps along that healing? Being connected to others.

Which is to say that the keyblade weilder's doctrine of 'do not interfere' while most certainly well-intentioned (as Dark Road also points out, one persons darkness is anothers light, and morality is not a solid truth across worlds, so interfering is risky at best and dangerous at worst), the flip side to this is that without being connected, without that ''interferance'', the world's restoration stagnates and struggles. It will still get there eventually (the Tangled world seems to be doing alright for example), but chances are it might've been a little easier/faster if someone had done a little interfering.

tldr keyblade war broke the worlds and reset them all to zero. As the worlds heal time stops until it's People finally pop back into existance and their stories can resume. And that's how the invisible crowds in early kh games are canon.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, I said I was gonna make a post about the way I believe Ryan is playing Eddie as in love with Buck because of the way he makes certain choices about Eddie regarding Buck that are similar to the ones he made about Eddie regarding Shannon, and this is it.

The whole thing started with the way Eddie looks away from things that make him experience intense feelings, but mostly when he doesn't like what he's feeling in a sense. He looks away from Shannon all of the time, when they're fighting, before she goes to the school, and in the firehouse, when she says she wants a divorce.

He's avoiding his parents eyes when they are trying to take Christopher, he looks away from Frank all the time.

He can't look Buck in the eye when Buck is trying to tell him that Chris got lost in the tsunami, he looks away from Ana because he knows he's hurting her (he does force himself to watch Shannon as she dies but I feel like that's a lot more about his loyalty/instinct to protect because that moment is fully about her because she's dying).

That's a consistent trait Ryan gave Eddie, he looks away, I think it even makes sense with the way Eddie runs away from stuff. And that makes moments when he's avoiding eye contact with Buck that much more interesting.

Because take 3a for example, buddie has quite a few emotional conversations, but during those, Eddie is mostly always staring Buck down or actively trying to force Buck to look at him (except when it comes to the fight club but the fight club is a lot more about shame in my opinion).

But when you look at the will reveal for instance, Eddie is consistently forcing himself to look back at Buck. His instinct seems to be to keep looking forward, and he needs to remember to look at Buck from time to time. (I'm not gonna put the whole scene here, but go rewatch and pay attention to where Eddie is looking)

And sure, the way Eddie simply refuses to look at anything relating to Buck's death can be seen as just "my best friend died" because any reasonable person would have an extreme reaction to watching their best friend die.

But, I don't see how that applies in the cemetery. Because Buck says "she sees me" and Eddie gives him that disbelief look and then just, stops looking. Honestly, there's no reason for that conversation not to involve them looking at each other, the point that's made that they are looking straight ahead is very interesting on its own but, like, when you add the fact that Eddie looks away from shit he doesn't want to feel/wants to run away from, that conversation has a whole other fun layer.

Even more with the way that Buck is lowkey looking like a kid tugging on your sleeve to get your attention and Eddie just refuses to look at him.

But my point really comes to the fact that these are all the same reaction.

And how do you explain the decision to make Eddie react the same way he does when Shannon is asking him to make a decision about them and then when she makes the decision herself by asking for a divorce when he thinks Buck has made a decision about them so he needs to back off?

That's his breakup face, plain and simple.

And it's not a reaction Eddie has to Shannon once, is something that is consistent with the way we see Eddie reacting to Shannon, and I personally think its a lot of the way it makes us never feel sure about the relationship, because Eddie is consistently presented to us when it comes to this as "I love her but I'm not sure about having her around". And these are his reactions to moments where Shannon makes him question where they stand. Moments where he's questioning if he actually understands where their relationship is.

You can't have Eddie question the nature of his relationship with Buck just because Buck has a crush and tell me that Eddie is experiencing purely platonic feelings.

And these are acting choices, and Ryan is very consistent about the way Eddie reacts to stuff, so the fact that he is wearing his "Shannon is making me feel thing" face says something.

I also said earlier today that Eddie is aware of his feelings because he stops saying emotional things while looking at Buck. Like, after the tsunami he is literally chasing Buck's gaze to force him to look at him, he doesn't look away from him at the grocery store or when they make up after the lawsuit or even after Buck fights with his parents, but starting with the will reveal, he looks away when saying things, and it makes me wonder if there's a level of that that is about making sure Buck can't read his reaction to what he's saying, because he doesn't want Buck to look too closely.

Anyway, that's all for today, as always, if you read this I love you <3

[gah-who-are-you]

-Comfort me Kento- (Nanami Kento x Fem!Reader)

Nanami Kento X Fem!Reader (Reader hasn't been feeling up to energy lately. Any burden they hold resting upon their shoulders and weighing them down. Finding themselves tired to the point that they don't bother to move from their bed. Instead rotting in their bed for a few days. Until your boyfriend, Nanami, notices your absence and decides to come check up on you, which leads to him helping you clean your room and shower. Slightly suggestive I guess???? (Nanami is helping you take a bath.) It's really just comforting the reader. [Reader is also a jujutsu sorcerer that works alongside Nanami at times]

---Start!!!------------------------------------------------------------------- You lay there, covered in layer upon layers of blankets. The only movement seen is the rise and fall of your chest, your shallow breathing being the only sound heard along the walls. The curtain drapes covering the windows, not allowing the light to enter your room. Not that it was sunny outside either way. It was winter, the snowflakes falling gently, the snow now having piled up on your lawn. Yet you didn't move from where your laid on the bed. You had the same clothes on now for two days. You see it's not like you're usually like this. You're a person who works hard. You usually go on to finish any work for you job on time. Take care of yourself right, feeding yourself, and doing the essentials for yourself. Yet you couldn't right now. It's not like you didn't want to. Actually... Yeah maybe you didn't want to. But! it's not because you're unhygienic or anything. It's hard to explain honestly, you just didn't find the energy in you. You were spent from everything. The work, the pressure, your family, your life. Everything. So there you laid in your bed. Wrapped with multiple layers of blankets, your arms hugging a pillow, and your whole body resting right in the middle of your bed. You didn't think of anything, you were just there. You didn't bother thinking of your boyfriend Nanami!

Throughout the days you were in your bed you received constant messages from Nanami which consisted of:

Nanami: Good Morning Dear, I didn't see you today at work. Are you taking a break? If you need anything just message me or call me. I love you.

You: I'm alright.

With each message you received a little of hope yet along with it some guilt. A small tired smile forming on your face. But as soon as you would turn off your phone screen your reflection was shown. Eyebags present. Your hair in disarray. Your face somehow sagging. The next morning persisted of the same type of message, Nanami asking you if you're alright and if you need anything. You would reply with dry simple texts. It's all you could muster. Knowing that those texts wouldn't be enough to sugar coat the burdens, the issues, all the mess ups, all the hate that's starting to build up within you. Not a hate towards anyone. No, instead it's a hate towards you. A hate towards the reflection you see on your phone screen. A hate that throughout this you somehow easily gained some weight, that through this you left your body unkept. You would lay there staring at the screen, your eyes hurting and your head throbbing in pain. You couldn't handle the screen of the device, the light boring into your eyes through the darkness of your room. So instead your turned your phone off. Rested it next to you and laid there. Not wanting to see your reflection. You would sooner of later start drowning yourself in your problems again and again. A never ending cycle. Different scenes of where you failed where you've done mistakes along the way. All of it building up to you. The different burdens you carry. Burning into you, marking your conscious. Your eyes had grown tired, your eye lids heavy. Despite having gained so much sleep you found yourself even more tired. Unable to stand, unable to move, even forgetting how to breathe at times. Yet everything was interrupted, your self wallowing, your thoughts that were killing you by the second-

Knock! Knock!

You opened your eyes, and looked towards the door slowly confused. I didn't order anything. You muttered to yourself. You didn't want to get up. Didn't want to see who was behind the door. So you slowly laid back down and ignored the sound. Maybe it was those pesky people that would try to make you buy their "amazing" products. But instead your heard a familiar voice, a soothing one. "Love? Are you there?" A muffled voice asked. It took you some time to process before you slowly got up. Your eyes widening at the sound of the person who had been messaging you non-stop. The realization hitting you like a truck. The person who had been checking up on you. Nanami.

You hesitantly got up, wrapped yourself up in your blankets. You looked upon your clothes. Your pajama pants and a baggy short sleeved shirt on. The same clothes you had been wearing for two days straight. You probably smelled bad. Your hair was a mess. You sighed and felt like crying that moment. You didn't want him to see you like this. He wasn't used to this part of you. The part where you found yourself unable to move and unable to stop putting yourself down.

You speed walked to your closet and pulled out a fresh clean blanket, covering yourself up with it, smothering your hair under the blanket. You hastily walked to the front door and opened it slightly. There before you stood Nanami. His shirt smooth, clean, and perfect. His hair combed back perfectly. You could only stare at him as he turned to you and offered your a worried look. But you didn't pay attention to that. You were mesmerized by him. Everything about him was neat. Unlike you. You thought to yourself. Which only caused you to slink into your blanket more. "Can I come in love?" Nanami asked you gently. After all this time-which may have only been two days- that you spent in your room, you found yourself caught off guard by his softness, his carefulness with you. You only nodded your head and opened the door hesitantly allowing him to enter your house. It was a mess to say the least. Your bags were all piled up in one corner, meanwhile your hats and sweaters where thrown around the living room.

To say the least, before you had your time of rotting in bed your emotions had spiked. Your anger that you had piled up in your life had gotten the best of you. Which ended up in you trashing your house. Your screams echoing around the walls as your threw your clothes against the wall. Threw your couch pillows and had dropped a vase on the ground, which you hastily cleaned up. Yet everything else was where you had last left it in your moment where you broke. Nanami looked around the room, noticing how everything was a mess, how it looked like your house was destroyed.

Nanami could only gaze at everything, piecing together everything. The way you looked, the way everything was a mess, and how you didn't greet him how you usually would. A smile would grace your features. You would hug him and smother his face with kisses. You'd talk, you'd shine, but now to him, everything was the opposite. You didn't beam at him this time you saw him. You instead hid yourself, you didn't talk, you just stared at him. Nanami reached out to you gently and put his hand under your chin, tilting your head gently to have you face him. You looked at him hesitantly, your face flushing red in embarrassment. A million thoughts passed through you in that moment. Is he disappointed? Is he going to turn and leave me? What if he just decides I'm not good enough for him? Is he going to look at me with disgust? A face you'd never seen before but you can only imagine.

And that's how it should be. A face you should only imagine. Nanami would even argue it's a face that he would never show you, a face that should never cross your mind in the first place because instead of that Nanami looks at you with worry. Taking in your vulnerable state. Seeing the way your face changed. Seeing how you slumped. Nanami couldn't stand seeing you like this. Worry showcasing through his eyes. Not disgust, not disappointment. Yet something else was there. Gratitude. He was grateful you let him see you like this sooner rather than later. You could have shut the door in front of his face. Yet you let him in. Even if you hesitated. Nanami spoke softly to you as he asked, "Have you not been taking care of yourself?" He looked at you and gently slid the blanket off of you. He saw your hair a mess. The way your face sagged. You could only look at him, your face reddening in embarrassment but at the same time the tiredness making your less responsive. Yet you nodded your head gently in response. "I haven't been able to bring myself to do anything." Was all you could muster up to say. Nanami nodded his head and kissed your forehead gently. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." You say softly, ashamed that you would even need to say that in the first place.

Nanami looked at you and sighed. He reached over to you and picked you up bridal style. Earning a gasp from you. "Well then let me help you wash off." He said softly. You soon find yourself in your bathroom. Nanami then set you down on the small chair in front of your bathroom mirror. You stood there next to him as he removed the blanket from your figure. "If you don't want me here I'll respect that dear. Yet, I'd like to help you if you're okay with that." He said to you gently as he reached for the brush and brushed your hair patiently, making sure to undo any knots. Making sure it didn't hurt too much he pulled gently. You couldn't explain how you were feeling right now. This man is really winning you over, huh? You thought to yourself as you gazed upon his reflection from the mirror, his hands gently moving the brush through your hair. You love this man. My god do you love him. You thought to yourself. His gaze lifted and he noticed your gaze on him. He smiled at you through the reflection, a warm smile, a endearing smile, a smile that had you weak at your heart.

Soon enough your hair was brushed out neatly and Nanami motioned to your clothes, asking for permission to undress you. You nodded your head. Nanami helped you undress slowly, a small kiss pressed to your shoulder as he took off your shirt. A small kiss on your knee as he removed your sweatpants. He knew you were tired, he knew you needed to relax so he turned the bath water on, putting it at a nice warm temperature. Soon your garments were decorating the bathroom floor. You stood there embarrassed of the way you looked, you noticed you somehow gained some weight. Nanami was kneeling near the tub, checking the temperature and he looked towards you, he held your hand gently and helped you inside the tub. You laid down, and noticed how Nanami had rolled up the sleeves of his clean smooth button up shirt. "You don't have to help me Nanami, I can do it myself." You said hastily not wanting to bother him more than he probably has been. But Nanami shook his head and tilted your face to face him. He smiled softly at you, but a hint of worry flashes through them. "Let me help you please, I want to." He said softly and caressed your cheek gently. "Alright." You said softly, barely audible.

He reached over and grabbed the soap gently applying it to your hair and washing it. His hands moving against your head gently. His finger nails grazing your scalp. You couldn't help but hum in satisfaction. The tense feeling that had been resting on your shoulders leaving you. Nanami then rinsed your hair and grabbed conditioner (or the different hair products you use) and apply them to your hair. He reached over for the the body wash and a soft bath sponge, running it over your body, cleaning you gently. "Are you willing to tell me what happened?" He asked you gently, breaking the silence. If he had asked you before you probably would have tensed up and said no. Yet the way he's taking care of you. The way he's touching you so gently and soothing you. And then you turned your head to him. His eyes were looking gently at you. He had a small relaxed smile. His shirt slightly wet from the water and soap. Soap suds covering his hands and arm. Your heart could only swell, swell with so much love for this man. You sighed softly in relief. Relief that you had someone so loving by your side. You agreed and let out all your pent up stress.

You rant, rant about every single issue, even the smallest. Everything that's been weighing you down. Nanami listened, listened to you full on. He didn't interrupt you. He didn't say anything, he didn't judge. He knew he wasn't really one to suggest something. After all he has his own issues. Some may even relate to yours. So he offers you his attention and his full self. When you finished he had rinsed you of all the suds, leaving you clean. Nanami's voice then broke the silence " You know I won't tell you to do anything specifically. I won't pressure you to tell me your issues." He said gently as he moved to massage your shoulders.

You then thought for a bit confused of what he was talking about, then it clicked. The way you didn't bother texting him back fully, didn't bother explaining your situation to him. Didn't bother to search for his help. His gentle voice then breaks you out of your thoughts. "Yet I want to pressure you. It seems selfish but I want you to tell me everything. Whenever something like this happens. When you feel like everything is falling on top of you. Because if I'm not here to take care of you, to listen to you, to hold you when you're most vulnerable. I don't know what I should be doing instead." He said to you, his eyes showed no lies and his voice was only speaking the truth. His hands gently holding the sides of your head as he pressed his forehead against your damp forehead. He then leaned in, his soft lips meeting yours. he held you carefully. As if you were the most precious thing on earth, no, in this entire universe.

You couldn't hold back anymore. tears spilled from your eyes, sobs escaped your lips, and you reached to hold onto his shirt with your wet hands. Nanami only leaned in. His shirt getting damp due to making contact with you but nonetheless he didn't care. He wanted to hold you, wanted to cherish you, wanted to make you feel seen. Once your cries died down and you eased down he pulled away slowly and gave a soft kiss to your forehead. "Stay here for a bit dear." He said softly against your forehead and parted from your grasp. You sat there in the tub for a bit. A small tint of red on your cheeks. You were grateful, so very grateful for having him. Thank you. You muttered softly to yourself. Although he wasn't there to hear you said it again. Thank you Nanami. You uttered softly and touched your lips with your fingers.

Minutes passed by and Nanami walked back in, his hair in a bit of a disarray. You raised a brow at the scene. "Sorry for taking so long." he said quickly and walked over to you. "What were you doing Kento?" You asked, confused on why he took so long. "Just arranged a few things." he said with a hum and grabbed a towel, helping you dry off as he picked you up from the tub. He carried you out of the bathroom and sat you down on your bedroom bed. He quickly wrapped you up with the towel, considering how cold it is outside, having just taken a bath doesn't help prevent a cold. "What do you want me to get you?" he asks as he walks towards your drawers and wardrobe. "Oh I have my sleep wear in the drawer and panties are also there." You said and avert your gaze. Nanami chuckled lightly at your response and pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants and a white shirt as well as your panties. You raised a brow, not noticing your bra. You were about to tell Nanami when he said , "I heard from a ad that they can be tedious and at times hurt to wear. Since we're going to be inside here just the two of us I thought it'd be good for you." he said and averted his gaze, slightly embarrassed. You could only smile at him. How can he be so shy when talking about these things when he was just touching my body earlier? You thought to yourself.

You take the clothes from his hand and start to dress yourself. Nanami then takes the towel and helps you dry your hair, he then picks up the brush from your nightstand and brushes out your hair. "Smells nice." He says with a soft hum. "Thanks to you Kento." You say quietly. Nanami smiles at your response and wraps his arms around your neck, pulling your body back to him. The back of your head rests against his damp shirt. He kissed the top of your head gently. "I changed your bedsheets dear, and the blankets. So go lay down. I'll clean up the rest." You look at him surprised. "So that's what you were doing." You say and smile up at him gently, you were about to protest saying that you should clean up and not him. But you remembered what he had said before and gave in. " Thank you." You murmur and kiss his arms that are wrapped around you neck. "Anytime." he says softly and kisses your cheek gently. "You should change your shirt Kento, you could catch a cold." You say and loosen his arms around you, you turn to face him. "Let me get you a shirt, if I can find one." You say and rummage through your closet not really finding anything for his bulky built. Nanami approaches you from behind and hugs you tightly. "How about, we sleep together after I clean up, we can warm one another up?" he ask as his fingers come to play with your hair strands, twirling them gently.

You nod your head. "I'll be waiting for you." You say and walk over to the bed, getting under the covers. You wait there, sitting on the bed looking at your room at how organized it looks now thanks to him. A small smile gracing your features. You waited patiently for Nanami and luckily didn't wait long. After all you knew Nanami worked efficiently and fast. So it wasn't long until he finally walked over to you. He took off his damp buttoned up shirt, placing it on a chair for it to dry. You looked up and smiled at the sight of Nanami. You then moved over and pulled the covers, making space for Nanami. Nanami climbed in, laying down next to you. He scooped you in his arms and pressed his face to the back of your neck. His arms wrapped around you gently as he held you carefully. "Thank you for letting me help you." Nanami murmured against your neck. You smiled at what he said. A flush covering you face and neck. Nanami feeling the warmth rise, he smiled fondly at you and then closed his eyes. "Thank you Nanami, sleep well." You mutter softly. Your eyes closed as well, sleep soon overtaking both of you. The warmth of your bodies combining, The blankets protecting you two, holding you together as one.

[literaryavenger]

Broken - part 2

Summary: You reach your breaking point and confront the team.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Warnings: Minimal use of Y/N. Hints to eating disorder. Language. Tony being an insensitive ass. Reader being very dramatic. A lot of yelling. Talk about Bucky's past and Tony's parent's murder. Innocent and broken Bucky. My poor attempts at being funny.

Word Count: 2.6K

Part 1

A/N: reader is absolutely dramatic in this and I love it. I can't say enough that this is my first work (second chapter, but still), I don't really know what I'm doing, but I'm trying. Also English is not my first language so pardon me for mistakes, I'm really trying not to be too repetitive in my writing and expand my vocabulary and just generally do better. Hope you enjoy!

Masterlist

After a morning of hanging out with Cassie and Scott, Cassie’s mom, Maggie, came to pick her up.

You chatted for a few minutes while Scott and Cassie gathered her stuff and, after you said your goodbye, they took off. 

"Thanks for inviting me to hang out with you guys, Cassie’s such an amazing kid." you say to Scott with a smile while you get in the elevator to the communal floor for lunch with the whole team.

"No need to thank me. Cassie loves you so much, you’re always welcome to join us." He says back as the elevator dings and you get off.

You smile at him and look around to see most of the team already at the table wrapped up in their own conversations.

You don’t have “assigned” seats, but Tony sits at the head of the table on the only side that has only one seat, while the other side has two.

It’s very important for Tony to have this seat as he thinks of himself as the head of your family, even if he doesn’t want to be the team leader.

The rest of you gather around him, usually next to the same people that you enjoy having conversations with.

Today Vision was sitting on Tony’s left side with Wanda next to him, then Pietro, whose other side was empty so Scott sat there.

On Tony’s right was Peter, then Nat and Clint, you sat on the far end leaving a seat empty between you and Clint on your left, and the two seats on the head of the table on your right, also empty, with Scott in front of you.

There are gonna be a few empty seats because Thor, Loki and Bruce were currently in New Asgard.

After a few minutes of conversation with Scott, which mostly consists on trying to come up with your next prank, Sam, Steve and Bucky join you, Sam sitting between you and Clint, Steve on your right at the head of the table with Bucky between Steve and Scott.

You notice Bucky briefly looking at Tony on the other end of the table before bowing his head and staring at the table without saying anything, while Tony stares daggers at Bucky, stopping as soon as he sees you looking.

You think it's weird, but then again you know Tony and Bucky had problems so you let it go.

"Hi, baby." Sam says to you when he sits down, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Sammy." you say chuckling "how you doing?"

"Very good now." he says, putting his arm around you and making you laugh again. "Where have you been all day, I’ve missed you baby."

"I’ve been staying as far away from you as I could, baby." you say jokingly, to which he makes a pretend hurt face with a big gasp that makes both you and Steve laugh. "I was hanging out with my girls."

"But Nat was training and Wanda was hanging out with Vision." Steve points out, a little confused.

"Yeah, she means Tic tac and his daughter." Sam explains while you, him and Scott laugh.

Steve then join in on your laughter and you keep joking until Wanda uses her powers to put the plates full of food on the table, with some help from Vision.

As the lunch went on you all kind of talk to everybody, joking about stupid things mostly you and Scott have done lately.

You notice Bucky is quietly eating, not joining in in any conversations and keeping his eyes on his food.

Nobody is trying to talk to him either and you're about to when you feel Steve nudging you on the arm with his elbow.

you look at him and see him look from you to your plate a couple times.

You give him a small smile and a nod and you eat a couple of bites of your food before he lets himself concentrate on the conversation once more, but not before exchanging a bit of a worried and knowing look with Wanda, which you chose to ignore because you don't want to have that conversation right now.

You bring your attention back to Bucky "So, Bucky, what did you and Cap do after I left this morning?"

As soon as you ask the question the whole table goes quiet. You look around the room and everyone is looking weirdly from you to Steve to Bucky, which confuses you a lot.

You looked back at Bucky, who is about to answer but, after giving Tony a quick glance, he shuts his mouth, deciding against it.

You look at Tony who is giving Bucky a look that if it could kill, it definitely would.

At this point you're pretty fed up with this unspoken tension and, since nobody is saying anything, you decide to address the issue yourself.

"Okay, enough is enough." you say, getting everybody’s attention on you but keeping yours on Tony and Bucky "Will somebody explain to me what the fuck is going on?"

"Language!"

"Stick a sock in it, Rogers. I’m sick of this. I’ve been patient for three fucking months. I’m done with this. You have been treating me with child gloves and it ends now. First you all just disappear for a mission leaving only me behind, then half of you come back and nobody tells me anything about everyone else and when the rest of the team came back, all of you started acting like nothing even happened, barely acknowledging Steve’s absence unless I asked, and even then you just danced around my questions. Now he’s back with someone new and not only are you all still acting like nothing happened, but all of you are being extremely rude and deliberately ignoring the poor guy!"

You point at Bucky, who turns red at the attention and looks uncomfortable, but you go on. "AND Tony hasn’t stopped looking at him like he wants to murder him where he stands! Now, somebody tell me what the fuck happened then and what has been happening for the last three months."

you look at Tony who looks like he was about to explode, but doesn't say anything.

Bucky looks uncomfortable and like he's trying very hard not to look at you.

Steve looks at you with an apologetic face and you know he's not about to tell you anything.

You look around at everyone else and they all look either shocked at your little outburst or guilty because they know you're right.

Most of them avoid your gaze and the ones that are looking at you are silently asking you to let it go.

After a few minutes of no one saying anything, you lose the last chill you had.

"FINE!" you yell, getting up and slamming your hand on the table, startling almost everybody after the uncomfortable silence you’d been sitting in.

"If you’re gonna insist on treating me like a fucking child, keeping me out of these serious business, trusting a literal child more than me," you said pointing at Peter "then maybe I should start behaving like one. Or no, you know what, better yet, since none of you trust me anyway, I should just quit this fucking team and move out!"

Without giving anyone the chance to answer you storm off towards the stairs, going straight to the smallest training room to try and calm down a little, since it’s the one no one ever uses and no one’s gonna think of looking for you there.

You get on the treadmill and started running, not stopping until you see the light from outside dim and the gym lights turn on.

You turn the machine off and as soon as you stop you feel so dizzy that you almost fall over and have to hold on to the handles of the treadmill just to keep your balance.

After a few minutes you catch your breath, then stumble towards the punching bag and start throwing punches as hard as you can, still so angry that you don't even think about wrapping your hands.

After about half an hour of angry punching your knuckles are bleeding, but you only stop when your head starts spinning and you slip on the floor out of breath while you start seeing black spots.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and when you look up you see Bucky with a very worried look on his face.

He's saying something to you but his voice is so distant you could barely hear him. You look at him confused for a second before feeling yourself slipping away and then everything goes black.

You wake up to confused yelling and your head pounding, and it takes you a second to even realize where you are. You try to sit up but have an IV on your arm that stops you.

You look around the room confused, finding the source of all the noise: Tony is very intently yelling at Bucky who's just looking at his feet, his face covered by his long hair, while Steve is trying very hard to keep Tony away from Bucky while also yelling at him to calm down.

"Let go of me Rogers, it’s HIS fault she’s here!" Tony yells "and it’s your fault he’s here in the first place!"

"Tony, you don’t know what happened, you can’t just accuse Bucky everytime something happens!" Steve yells back, struggling to keep him away from Bucky.

"LOOK AT THEM! THEY’RE BOTH COVERED IN BLOOD AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE TO SEE HER ALL AFTERNOON, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?!" At this point you're sick of the screaming and especially of the random accusations against Bucky.

"Can you stop yelling for fuck’s sakes?" you say, even if it comes out lower and weaker than you’d like.

The three men all look at you, a little surprised and worried sick.

"Y/N! Are you ok? What did he do to you?" Tony says, getting angrier with every word, while you're just confused by his accusations.

"What are you talking about, Tony? Nobody did anything to me, I just passed out."

"You don’t have to cover for that murderer, just tell me what really happened!" murderer? What is he talking about?

You can tell he was trying not to yell too much at you since you're not the object of his anger, but his insults and his insinuating that you're lying are making you angry, a feeling that just grows when you see all the guilt and hurt in Bucky’s face at his words, which just breaks your heart.

"You want to know what happened, Stark?" you're the one yelling now "You, the whole team, pissed me off so much that I spent several hours running and hitting a punching bag so hard that I bled and then passed out from exhaustion and probably dehydration. And stop yelling at Bucky, if it wasn’t for him finding me and bringing me here I could’ve died in that gym, so you should be fucking thanking him!" you yell the last part so loudly that you think that's gonna be the end of that, but Tony has more to say.

"THANK HIM?!" he yells, his eyes open wide, almost in shock. "YOU THINK I SHOULD THANK THE MAN THAT MURDERED MY PARENTS?!" He yells so loudly that you're surprised he still had a voice to keep going.

But he did, a little quieter after seeing the shocked look on your face. "You have no idea who he is! Who he truly is… I know you love hearing stories about Steve and him in the 40s, but that’s not who he is now. It’s not who he’s been for the last 70 years!"

You're hanging on his every word, looking at Bucky’s general direction every now and then, scared to meet his eyes and have everything Tony was saying confirmed.

But that wasn’t a problem, since Bucky's back at looking at his feet, like a kid being yelled at by a parent for doing something wrong.

"He’s been under Hydra’s control all this time! He’s been taught how to be invisible, how to disappear and most importantly how to kill, in every way possible. He’s been killing people for decades, living as a ghost story, unstoppable and unbeatable. Three months ago Steve found him and set out to help him, and when half of us didn’t agree with him, we battled against each other. The half of the team that came back later had to spend some time on the Raft while we worked on their release. For Barnes it took longer, and Steve refused to leave his side. They were lucky enough to get them to release this monster, and if it was for me it never would’ve happened. So do not tell me to thank a murderer, a monster that broke my family in 1991 and almost broke it again a few months ago!"

You're shocked.

Not just because of Bucky’s past, but because of what happened three months ago.

Because of what everybody kept from you.

You feel absolutely betrayed by everybody. Everybody except Bucky, funnily enough. You're barely listening to what is being said.

You hear Steve’s "He was being mind controlled" and Tony’s "That’s all an excuse" but your attention is elsewhere.

You're looking at Bucky who is visibly trembling and, when he looks up at Steve for a few seconds because of something he says in his defense, you see his face clearly and it's wet with tears.

It absolutely breaks your heart and you make eye contact for a second before he quickly bows his head again and slowly backs away from the room, almost scared.

The two yelling men don’t even seem to notice the loss of a fourth person in the room and keep on yelling until they just keep repeating the same things, and you're done.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" you yell at the top of your lungs, leaving them instantly silent.

"I don’t care who you think he is. The man you seem to hate so much is absolutely nothing like the man that walked into the tower this morning. The man that’s been so scared to even just talk, that he keeps his head down and doesn’t make a sound unless spoken to. The man that saved my life today. The man that ran out of here is absolutely broken, and it’s 100% your fault!" you end, looking straight into Tony’s eyes.

"Y/N, Bucky’s-" Tony started, but you cut him off.

"Bucky is the only one in this tower to not have lied to me. All of you kept me in the dark on this." You're now looking at Steve. "You’re no better, Rogers. Half of the team, half of my family was in, not just any prison, but the fucking Raft, and none of you told me. Why? Why just me?" you almost whisper the question you’ve been wanting to ask for the last three months, tears flooding your eyes.

"We didn’t want to put that on you..." Steve says.

"We knew how hard it would’ve been for you to choose a side…" Tony adds.

"BULLSHIT!" you yell, startling them. "Do not give me this 'we did this for you' bullshit. You did this for yourselves, because neither of you wanted to see me choose the other one. But you know what? I don’t want to choose either of you. Now you both lost me. So I hope you’re happy, because you brought this on yourselves for lying to me for so long. I’m done!"

You get up, tears streaming down my cheeks, take the IV out of your arm and walk right out of the room while the two men watch you leave, too stunned to say anything.

Part 3

[deadboyswalking]

What a lot of fans are wondering, myself included, is "Where did MHA go wrong?"

I can think of several points that kick-started the downfall. This is not an exhaustive list, but just a few of the bigger flaws. It's a really long post, especially on the last point.

1. The reveal that AFO was directly responsible for all of Tomura's woes from before he was even born. This completely absolved society and his abusive family of responsibility, thus cheapening the manga's themes centered around those aspects of the manga's world.

2. Excessive focus on Endeavor at the expense of Shouto's feelings, actions, and inner world. It seems that from the Endeavor Agency Arc onward, Shouto's character is constantly underwritten and shoved aside so his father can get more screentime. Shouto's climactic, emotional final fight with Touya is completely undercut by the actual final fight of Touya vs. Endeavor, with the rest of the Todoroki family (Shouto included) basically sidelined to cheer Endeavor on. Even in the last Todoroki family chapter, the primary focus is still on Endeavor's feelings and not Shouto or Touya.

3. The complete character assassination of Izuku Midoriya. He was never the most interesting MC to begin with, but at least he had something going for him in the early arcs. He was weird, brilliant in battle tactics/analysis, brave and determined, endlessly compassionate, and completely insane. He had a real fire in him as a person and, unlike what many fans say, started the series with an awareness of the deep flaws in his society. People always say that the "save the villains" angle was shoved into the story during the first war, but it's clear from the beginning that the way Deku looked at his society already primed him to believe in that idea. During his mall encounter with Shigaraki, he actually showed that he'd carefully considered Stain's message and understood where he was coming from, even if he didn't agree with his actions. This is the story's first indication that if a villain has a genuine gripe with society and can explain it, Deku is willing to listen to what they have to say. Similarly, at the Sports Festival, he doesn't treat Endeavor with any of respect/awe he usually treats heroes with because Endeavor doesn't show the heroic values that Deku believes in.

So what happened to Deku? Honestly, I think he as a character disappeared beneath the weight of The Vestiges of OFA, Becoming The New Symbol of Peace, and Acting As The Author's Mouthpiece.

Joint Training Arc was the first indication that Izuku himself no longer mattered because of the OFA mythos and Vestiges inside him. Now, I don't mind Blackwhip because it diversified his fighting style and gave him a long-range attack. I also appreciated how hard he had to work to use it effectively and consistently. However, all of the other Vestige Quirks seemed to come to him way too easily and he could use them in perfect combinations without trying and against highly skilled adult opponents. The Vestiges started to talk to him constantly and give him advice, so his battle analysis/tactics were no longer necessary and he didn't need to come up with his own ideas anymore. More importantly, his own strong inner sense of justice and awareness of society's need to change was utterly replaced by some mystical Vestige-world bullshit about saving little Tenko. Adult Tomura was right there, clearly explaining his point of view and deep pain, and Deku didn't even listen to him (or really care when Tomura's body started being controlled by AFO). What happened to the independently compassionate boy from the earlier manga?

Being The New Symbol of Peace is another place where Deku had his character steamrolled. As flawed as the arc as a whole was, I actually had hope for him during the Dark Hero Arc. He was asking questions and genuinely trying to understand why villains became villains. He saw how civilians treated people with mutant quirks, listened to Lady Nagant about the HPSC, and witnessed tons of other abuses by society that made him angry. His eyes were opened and his compassion for Tenko Shimura deepened, priming him for the Final Battle where he would save the man and make a stand to change their society forever. Unfortunately, due to Horikoshi's inability to let go of the All Might and AFO dynamic, Deku's character was squeezed into The New Symbol of Peace mold and he forgot all about what he learned during the Dark Hero Arc in order to take out ShigAFO and let society stay exactly the same.

Finally, Deku was lost when he started Acting As The Author's Mouthpiece. The first sign of this was during Endeavor Agency Arc, when he told Shouto that he would forgive Endeavor "because you're a good person" and fawning all over Endeavor in general. I'm sorry, what? As much as Deku likes heroes, he was already shown to strongly dislike Endeavor because he didn't act like a true hero should and abused his family (people smaller and weaker than himself). Now one of your best fucking friends and his siblings are giving you more details of their horrific upbringing, including about their dead brother, and your response is that a good person would forgive Endeavor because he's trying to be better??? There is no canon justification for why Deku would do that type of 180°, but there's certainly an author that continually pushed more and more screentime for Endeavor and his feelings as the series went on. I wouldn't give a shit if this opinion change had any lead-up to it (as characters can change their minds all they want), but there's nothing in Deku's previously-shown character/personality that would lead to that conclusion. As the story went on, Deku mostly lost his introspective nature and stopped struggling with internal conflicts over right and wrong and what it means to be a hero. Instead, he just started mindlessly spouting whatever half-assed "message" the author wanted to show during any given scene with no regard to his previous opinions, background, or personality, often contradicting himself as the story's messages couldn't stay consistent either.

[woojungz]

their love languages! 💭🎀

❝ xikers x gn!reader

𓂃𓈒 finally wrote something for all 10 members(⁠；⁠^⁠ω⁠^)

word count: 1.5k

( likes and reblogs appreciated!♡ )

✧𓂃𓈒MINJAE.

i'm a firm believer that minjae is so huge on words of affirmation. he's already written roadys long messages before, like i’m saying 'essay long' messages, thanking us for keeping up with them and having fun last tour. he loves pouring his all through heartfelt words he tells you at random times of the day, whether it be through text or if you're hanging out together. tells you he loves you everytime he can, the members even cringing whenever he does that in front of everyone else. they don't let him catch a break😭 the other way around, i think he also likes receiving words of affirmation. remember that one fancall where he asked a roady why they love him? as his s/o, let him know how well he's doing as a leader please. he also incredibly cherishes quality time with you because as the group leader, he doesn't get all the time in the world to be with you even if he wanna :(

✧𓂃𓈒JUNMIN.

i'm not sure if this counts as words of affirmation, but i'll just say it is. junmin really loves updating you throughout the day, like i'm saying tons of messages consisting of his selfies, food he's eaten, and places he's been too. dude is gonna blow up your phone at this point😭 but you don't really mind. even though you're not right there beside him, you feel like you are, because it's like he tells you updates of every single move he makes for the day. you literally have a collection of his photos he sent you, in your gallery. you're actually suprised it's a lot more than the pictures you've taken yourself?! he also really loves to do acts of service for you, he's actually one of the members that keeps their dorm mess free. so if there were times you're stressed or too occupied with work that you weren't able to pay attention to other things around you, junmin will do his best to help ease your workload!

✧𓂃𓈒SUMIN.

i like to think sumin is really into gift giving, and the things he gives you are really personal which makes it a lot more special. he really enjoys having you as his subject in his paintings of drawings, and would love to gift it to you once he's finished. also, you can't miss the sweet messages he leaves you behind the paper of the drawings! everyone knows sumin owns a lot of keychains right, literally his keychains weigh more than the bag it's attached to😭 he'd let you take anything from his collection, and would sometimes even buy you new ones! aside from that, even though we see him sometimes reject physical touch with the members, he'd initiate it himself with you. if you guys are living together, you'd maybe wanna marry him already because this guy knows how to maintain a home. this paragraph is gonna get longer if i explain, so i'll have it at just that.

✧𓂃𓈒JINSIK.

he's kinda on the same level of sumin when it comes to gift giving. our jinsik is an artist right? so he'd spent most of his time making drawings for you so you can turn it into your phone wallpaper! or even does short animations for you, like that stuff takes such a long time and jinsik would just spend his whole day making it for you. sometimes you'd catch him drawing something, but he suddenly hides it from you because he says he wants it to be a surprise!! also this guy is a real enjoyer of quality time too. whenever his family would be going somewhere, he'd want you to tag along with them. it makes him so happy to see all his favorite people in one place together :(

✧𓂃𓈒HYUNWOO.

i don't know if this is kinda unexpected but if you look closely, hyunwoo really likes physical touch. this boy always needs to hug you everytime you meet. and those times where you thought he was making kissy faces to you as a joke so you never reciprocate it, yeah... he was being fr that he wants a kiss. you just realize it when he suddenly sulks beside you as if there was a random rain cloud that manifested on top of his head, that suddenly his mood got sad. but once you do kiss him then he's already back to happy! also, he really likes to backhug you. at first he might be kind of cautious with physical touch if the other members could see, because he's often the center of their teasing. but as time went on, he actually didn't care anymore, he's gonna hug you whenever he wanna!!

✧𓂃𓈒JUNGHOON.

our hoonie really loves quality time with you! everytime he's free from schedule, all he really wants to do is spend the time to explore food spots with you (he really enjoys eating). he'd drag you along to places you've never been to before so you guys could try the randomest food ever. oftentimes he doesn't really show much expression right, so you also love it when you get to eat with him because he gets very extra while eating. especially when the food is good, you'll get to witness a bunch of reactions from him! just like hyunwoo, he's suprisingly into physical touch with you. no one of the members expected that at all! he'd like to have his hand somewhere on you, just making sure that there's no one else around to see this side of him. it's like he doesn't even expect himself to act like that, it's just because he's so in love with you he unconsciously wants to touch you all the time😭

✧𓂃𓈒SEEUN.

he's just some guy that has a lot of love to give😔 i like to think he enjoys giving all the love languages to his s/o, he's really sweet overall as a boyfriend. he would wanna devote himself to you. he's really heavily leaning on physical touch though, like randomly kisses you in moments you don't expect (i mean, this dude kisses his members randomly and even kisses the camera itself when it's on him😭). he can't sit still without having his hand on you all the time. also this guy doesn't like being locked up in their dorms whenever they don't have any schedules, so he's quickly ringing your phone up to ask you to spend time with him, hence another quality time enjoyer.

✧𓂃𓈒YUJUN.

physical touch on top when it comes to him!! sometimes the members have expressed that yujun gets so touchy, and he gives the best hugs. such a cute cuddler you know. everywhere you guys are spotted together, yujun always has a hand around your shoulder, waist, or his favorite: entangled with your hand too. if he's standing near you, he's not gonna let a gap between you too happen, your shoulders need to be touching😭 sometimes how question if he can even exist without being beside you all the time. goodluck dealing with him because it seems like yujun has a never ending amount of energy. also!! quality time with him in the form of playing video games together.

✧𓂃𓈒HUNTER.

he actually said it himself when another roady asked him!! hunter really enjoys quality time. even before then, this guy really loves to travel to different countries. he tells you he'd love to take you there some time, doesn't really care if he's been there for the hundredth time, as long as he sees the smile on your face that you're happy to spend time with him. even locally, he enjoys hanging out at parks and aquariums so expect a lot of your dates to be at those places. another is that hunter loves to give you gifts. it's not just ordinary gifts, he loves to give you ones that he could always see you using. mostly it'll be clothes or accessories, and it makes him really happy to see you show up for dates wearing his gifts :(

✧𓂃𓈒YECHAN.

he's kinda new to this relationship thing, very awkward at first. a stark contrast to how you met him, he's really extroverted right. it's honestly kinda cute to see him try his hardest in doing all the couple things he thought he has to do, so let him know that he can breath sometimes and just be himself!! he tries to ask for relationship advice from his hyungs, sometimes it backfires on him because he accidentally understands it a different way. so then he resorted to asking his older sisters instead. he may struggle a bit with words (in the relationship), even though he's normally so talkative. so he likes to express his love through actions. he remembers your favorite things, would love to buy you gifts even though there's no really occasion. and mostly tries to help you any way he could!! please notice how hard he tries to show acts of service!

[qqueenofhades]

Last anon here -- I'm sorry for sending that message through. I don't know what is and isn't true anymore.

I deleted what I presume was your first ask (the one accusing me of not condemning the Gaza genocide and calling me a "DNC shill and a liar") because it was rude, uncalled for, and I couldn't see any good to come of engaging with it. However, because you've returned and apologized and sent this followup, I am willing to answer it, because I am aware that we can all do stupid things (especially on the internet) that we regret. So there is that.

Once again: I have strictly limited my posts/reblogs on this topic because it is so inflammatory, there are reams of people willing to attack you on every side, and none of it is actually constructive (this is the blue hellsite where we have two whole jokes about Ea-Nasir and color theory in children's hospitals. We are not doing important social justice work here and expecting this to be the main/only forum in which we post the Correct Opinions is not going to work out for anyone). But I would like, for the record, to point out that I have condemned the situation in Gaza and explicitly called it a genocide and Netanyahu and co. war criminals. Often and repeatedly:

Ask from October 28, 2023:

What’s happening to the Gazans right now is no qualification or equivocation, a genocide. It should rightfully be opposed and called what it is. But unfortunately, I have spent too much time around Western Online Leftists to believe they actually care a whit about stopping genocide as a fundamental principle, and only want to be seen to loudly care about what their Ideology has told them to care about. [...] To put it bluntly, those genocides are being committed by nation-states that Online Leftists like for being “anti-Western,” and therefore their activities are actually fine and should even need to be defended.

Another post from December 2023 explicitly calling out Netanyahu and his cabinet, while also pointing out that Tumblr's response now mostly consisted of antisemitic dogwhistles and rampant political misinformation:

[...] the way Netanyahu is personally a genocidal maniac with a far-right cabinet of war criminals and is bent on continuing the war in order to escape his own criminal prosecutions (and yes, he is HIGHLY affiliated with Trump and Putin) but this somehow still does not remotely justify or excuse the rampant frothingly mindless and generalized anti-Semitism seen everywhere on leftist spaces these days [....]

An ask from January 10th, 2024 (worth probably reading in full) where I once more say that nobody wants this to be happening, but that once again, the criticism in Western leftist forums (particularly Tumblr/Twitter) is not made equally or in good faith :

Nobody of basic good sense and decency wants to see Gaza leveled while the Israeli state continues to apply a number of violently cruel collective punishments even outside the actual daily bombing of civilians. But for the love of god, let’s get rid of the idea that the continued mindless violence doesn’t benefit Hamas (because it does; unsurprisingly, sympathy for their cause has soared in Gaza) as much as it does Israel, or that Hamas is some kind of benevolent peacemaker that is being thwarted by the cruel imperialist US/West.

This post, also from January 2024, explains why the kind of stunt-trick "pro Palestinian" activism that just relies on publicly hassling Jews is a) antisemitic and b) actively harming the people of Gaza, while once again pointing out whose fault this whole mess actually is:

If these people actually wanted to advocate constructively for Palestine in a good-faith way and not just punish random Jews or people who might have once met a Jew (which they don’t), they would take a look at that, go “hmm, this isn’t really getting the right result” and listen to the people who are telling them that by generating this bad publicity, they are doing far more harm to the cause than good. They are going to make the cause look foolish, they will drive away anyone who isn’t already radicalized, they will shut down any possibility of discussion and dialogue, and their efforts will be picked up in the Israeli nationalist right-wing media/Netanyahu and his war criminal advisors to insist to left-wing or anti-zionist Jews that (one of the, you know, big fucking reasons Israel was founded in the first place) they aren’t safe in any other country in the world, and they need to support the Israeli government’s actions, no matter how heinous.

A follow-up from January 31, 2024, discussing (again) the problems with insisting that Biden personally/the American power apparatus is just giving Israel a blank check and therefore Biden Iz Bad And This is All His Fault:

Once again: I strongly disagree with the idea of just giving Israel/Netanyahu a blank check to keep committing atrocities, but I also need to repeatedly point out that Biden isn’t doing that. His initial unconditional support of Israel after October 7 (which at the time was the correct response) has shifted to a much more measured and conditional approach where he has muted the overtly pro-Israel statements and started talking about a two-state solution and the need to protect the lives of civilians and trying to keep a lid on what could become a REALLY bad situation with all kinds of war-hungry powers eager to jump into the Middle East and blow it completely to hell.

I am a historian. This does not mean that I always know The Greatest Things Ever, but it does mean that I default toward long, cautious, and qualified responses where I try to consider multiple perspectives and nuances, rather than just posting pithy soundbites or black-and-white statements. (Yes, I know; I am doomed on social media.) Thus when I do discuss the situation, I tend toward trying to put it in broader context, to push back sharply against the idea that being "pro Palestine" is just being wildly antisemitic on social media and nothing else, and to call out those bad actors who are using this situation to continue to imperil American democracy and deliberately try to get Trump (who openly hankers to be a genocidal fascist dictator for everyone, not just Israel/Palestine) back into office.

I know that this is a situation which provokes (to say the least) strong emotions from everyone. I know that it's infuriating to feel totally helpless and just to have to watch it from afar. I know that we all wish we could stop it and that leads us to create meaning or assign importance to our own actions where there actually is none. But that does not mean that people have total liberty to spread antisemitic conspiracy theories, wild political misinformation, narratives designed whether unwittingly or deliberately to help Trump and other far-right fascists, and otherwise anonymously dogpile on people who haven't Posted The Correct Opinion on Tumblr (once again, Tumblr, where we get our news via Destiel meme). So I hope this has helped you, if this is what you wanted to get out of contacting me today, and hope also that you'll continue to think about what to do and how to act. It's hard, I know, and you have my sympathy. But so it is for us all.

[luizd3ad]

Every Step Of The Way | Regulus Black x Reader

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader WC: 1,213 CW: heavy talks of depression, depressive episode, depressed reader, self invalidation, no use of Y/N. Author's Note: I've been having a hard time lately and I just needed a comfort fic, this is purely based off my own experience with depression and how I feel when I'm in a depressive episode. If you don't feel like me that's okay, mental health is different for everyone! Just remember you're so valid and so loved <3. Summary: You're just having a hard time but Regulus is always there for you.

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At some point your mind wasn't supposed to be your enemy anymore right? At some point the ‘teen angst’ was supposed to go away and you were supposed to be an adult with relatively healthy mental health right?

The crippling depression and anxiety was supposed to go away with puberty. At least that's what you'd been told, that things would get better and your mind wouldn't mess with you as much.That was what was supposed to happen, but when do things ever go as planned?

The only difference between now and your teen years was that you recognized the symptoms faster, you understood what was coming before it was fully there. Now every so often you can catch it, do things to make the bad thoughts go away or lessen, then other times… you would feel paralyzed.

The numbness would consume you, invite you in like an old friend, along with the loss of appeal to do anything. You didn't want to eat, drink, read, or listen to music. 

You didn't want to do anything and sometimes without even realizing you would spent the whole day looking into nothingness. 

Regulus would notice the mood change almost immediately. He would pick up on the sign and the overall change in your personality.

Not only would he notice because he was hyper aware of the behavioral changes around him (thank you Walburga. Sarcasm) but also because he dealt with the same feelings. 

The emptiness and numbness of it all, it wasn't until Pandora explained it to him that he learned that those feelings were not exactly ‘normal’. 

It was normal to be sad, to have a depressive episode here and there especially following a tragedy but it was the consistency that wasn't normal.

The feeling of emptiness that always felt like a shadow following you, the feeling of being the happiest you've ever been but still feeling that emptiness in the back of your head.

It was one of the things you both shared. Sometimes it wasn't a good thing. When both of you were in that state of mind it was hard to help each other, to be there for each other.

How could you stop someone from drowning if you're drowning yourself? 

But other times it was a good thing. You knew each other's signs, you two could pick up on the signs before the other person even realized that they were slipping, sometimes. It gave you time to either try and stop it before it went too far or just get prepared. 

This was one of those times Regulus knew he needed to prepare. 

He had seen you starting to detach for about a day now. Regulus knew this was going to be one of those episodes he couldn't stop, the kind where you were there physically but not mentally.

You just were floating through your days, you were on auto pilot almost the whole day; you weren't really listening, hardly responded and if you did it was short.

Regulus preparing for this meant doing a few things, taking a few days off work, letting Sirius, Pandora and Barty know that he wouldn't be really available so that he could focus solely on you. Making sure your favorite foods were home and ready to encourage you to eat, having some of your favorite movies, books, everything and anything accessible in case you were in the mood to do anything or if you just wanted to try and distract yourself for a while.

It also meant mentally preparing himself to be understanding and patient since it wasn't exactly his strong suit but he'd do anything for you. 

When an episode fully hits it isn't always you wake up and start to feel depressed. Sometimes you would be fine most of the day and then suddenly you were hit with a wave of nothingness.

Most of the time nothing would trigger it, nothing would happen, your brain would just decide that it was time to be sad, to be numb, you guessed.

“Mon Amore, would you like to eat something? You can have anything you want.” Regulus touched the side of your face and brought you out of your head. You just shook your head not really looking at him. “No, thank you.” You whisper.

He just nodded and sat next to you. He knew when to pick his battles and since you ate that morning he knew this shouldn't be the hill he dies on. 

The rest of the night was spent mostly silence with a few words exchanged here and there, Regulus was there ready and willing to do whatever you needed him to do to make you feel better.

He got you to eat a little eventually and you shared a shower with him. He had helped you wash yourself since you didn't have any motivation or energy to do so. 

By the end of the night you were both cuddled up in bed while Regulus ran his hand up and down your back just to let you know he was there.

He liked when you knew he was there, he felt like it helped even just a little, especially to make you feel a little less alone.

Eventually you broke the silence with a sight. “I'm sorry.” You felt regulus's hand stop moving, he stayed silent for a moment.

“Why are you apologizing? You haven't done anything.” By the sound of his voice you knew he was frowning, he knew exactly why you were apologizing but a part of him was hoping, praying, that he was wrong.

“For being this way. You shouldn't have to deal with this. We're not kids anymore, I should be over these feelings by now.”

Regulus sat up, making you sit up in the process, reaching over to the lamp on the bedside table turning the light on. “Do you choose to feel this way? Do you make the conscious decision to feel like this?” Regulus was looking you in the eyes with raised eyebrows waiting for a response.

“Not necessarily, but-”

“Exactly, you don't. You can't control your emotions. You didn't ask to feel this way nor do you choose to. There's no point in apologizing for something that you have no control over. Your brain is amazing and beautiful but sometimes it isn't the nicest to you and that's okay. Do you know why? Because even if your brain is mean sometimes it still makes you who you are and you're so amazing, mon cœur. We’ll take care of this together like we always do. It's going to be hard sometimes but it is not impossible, and I'll always be here with you every step of the way, because I love you more than anything, tu es ma raison de vivre, mon amour.”

Regulus cupped your cheek and whipped a few tears you didn't know you had shedded. All you could do was whisper a ‘thank you’ as you threw yourself in his arms. 

You fell asleep that night in Regulus’s arms while he whispered sweet nothing to you.

You weren't better by any means but you felt loved, you felt understood. You knew that no matter how hard things got, Regulus would be there for you, every step of the way.

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