#just after I watch s15 tho

[bisaster-energy]

think i'd actually rather die than read another fic where the main plot point is cas trying to make up for something "bad" he did

[angelsdean]

also i would just like to say, to everyone who actually gets mad at dean for "tricking sam into eating real bacon", sam is Not actually vegetarian or vegan, as much as fanon would like to believe.

when sam says "you know i don't eat-- [real bacon]" in 15x04 he Most Likely meant in the sense that he prefers to eat healthy (mr. rabbit food) and not eat regular bacon for health reasons not because he's vegetarian / vegan. i seriously doubt if sam was Actually meat-free that dean would "trick" him like that. but dean Knows sam Does eat meat on occasion (he's literally cooked him burgers and watched him eat them). in this sense it's more like "live a little. eat the real stuff instead of your bland diet health crap" from dean and less "i am willfully tricking you into eating something you're morally against because i'm evil and cruel." it's literally a harmless prank (and it's not like sam is allergic to the thing either or would have serious health problems from one bite.) thee only consequence is sam taking a bite, realizing it's real, and going ew gross *spits it out*. typical sibling shenanigans.

like throughout the series we see sam eat many burgers of the full meat variety. he also eats chicken at jody's. and even late into s15 in last holiday (so well after 15x04) they're all eating a turkey, so even if someone wants to argue he's suddenly vegan / vegetarian in s15, he's literally not<3

people just love to vilify dean for no reason tho, what's new?

[scentedluminarysoul]

Okay but for real tho:

Watching s15 for the first time and reaching *that scene* after years of getting my news from it, just feels bizarre... I feel like it won't have the proper impact :/

[blacknidstang]

2, 9, 12, 17 💓💓

Hiii hellooo <33

Alright here we gooo

2) overall worst season

OH BOY WHERE DO I START. Ok i think s15 is a very easy answer to this and it is the objective answer but the show being burdened by corona and if I'm not wrong, number of new writers, i cannot take it seriously. However for me, very personally s12 was the most unwatchable one. Like yes s13 is also wretched with all the fucking dinosaurs and just overall terrible everything but i got more soft spot for it. S12 does not land on his feet because i think the writers in that very specific season forgot how to write Sam & Dean's dynamic & this entire show has its golden moments because of them so if you mess that up you lose everything . Plus i think bmol were worst than dinosaurs & empty & apocalyptic world & dean/lucifer mid air fight. The only unexpectedly amazing scene there was Dean's speech in Mary's head and if it wasn't for that, i'd find a way to wipe this season from face of the universe.

9) best season finale

CAN I EVER GIVE A STRAIGHT ANSWER? NO. i am always very very torn betwen ahbl and swan song. I think both are unforgettable masterpieces and both hold different values to me. I often end up voting for swan song myself bc it felt like SUCH a conclusion to a big story. And because of the "Impala Story" that literally ruined me but there's something about Swan Song that was very overall perfect.

With ahbl i dare to say, it holds probably some of my favorite moments in the entire tv show history. The same way swan song was the conclusion to the story, ahbl was a conclusion to a very emotional build up that blew me away. I think story-wise tho the second part especially was less impactful for me. In the entirety of the episode it"s the beginning aka. Dean's speech and the ending witj Sam's "did i die dean?" THOSE where the ones that stayed with me. Much more than the whole deal with closing the hell's gate. So when i rewatch i'm watching thes3 selected scenes: Sam's death, dean selling his soul & them facing this decision at the end. It was life altering for me but swan song as an episode on a whole level remained more with me.

Then there's also Sacrifice. That finale remains the best episode ever after Kripke. I can't put above the other two but it also is so amazing on every single level that i cannot NOT mention it

12) favorite sam season

I love sam in every episode and every season but if i gotta pick, I think sam in s5 is my upmost favorite one bc of how beaten and ruined he is. I can go forever and ever peeling off layers of his self hatred, self doubts, wish to grow, to make up for everything, all leading to his big sacrifice. This makes my heart ache over and over and over. And after that it would be s10, i love when is just fucking unhinged doing messiest thing, trial era and s9 just because he is so fucking pretty in s9. Prettiest malewife ever.

17) favorite villain

Without a shadow of doubt it would be Azazel for me. Everything about this character was perfect. The actor's delivery, the way he ruined lives, the danger he posed that i never felt the felt repeating in the series ever again.

Except for one.

See i love characters like Crowley and Lucifer (pre-Dabb especially) but i like them more as characters than villains, but beside Azazel there's one imo underrated villain that really fucked me up and it's Zachariah. I think there was something so vile about an angel being that manipulative and vicious. The scene in dark side of the moon with Mary still makes my skin crawl & i think just like Azazel's actor, this guy delivered every scene with such brilliant wretchedness that i cannot help but be in love with.

Spn discourse asks

[sasanka-27]

Im at the episode Jack ‘evaporate’ mary and like how is it his fault when she kept yelling at him in his face seeing he is distressed why didnt she try to calm him down instead or i dunno step back a bit knowing he is dangerous and something could happen

And then im forced to watch goodbye episode knowing that after they got out of apo world mary rather went away with bobby then spend time with their sons nah I just hate this so much brrr s14 aint my favorite for sure i dont like this storyline creates so much break which i guess was the point but still brrr my bb jack still tries his best even soulless to bring her back anyway why are you so angsty dean ?he is trying

Mary killed(even humans) and like Nick deserved it come on finally he is gone im not a Luci fan or whatever that story line was im glad he is gone the character was overused sometime it was okay but otherwise no i dunno thanks for bb Jack tho

Anyways i think Chuck wrote the drama to come ‘save the day’ in last ep then we learn he is enjoying it and bam s15 starts with a bang i love the finale tho so dramatic nice set for s15 (hate the angsty dean chuck def write in more the anger more then actually was because he wouldnt just put gun in sams face like that)

Anyway s15 soon! May the pain begin!

[purewater100]

same anon again, dont sweat the 'fake fan thing' i havent watched the series at all before this year and much less in order. i consume vicariously through people online and the two people i talk to irl. i read transcripts, summaries, and character wikis bc there is too much episode per episode. but yeah garth has like 3 kids by season 15, and two are twins he names 'Sam and Castiel'

its kinda just a one off bit in 'the heroes journey' episode good stuff tho

i barely remember anything from s15 so thats probably why then😭. No way you would name ur kid after someone you've never met tho, even if u heard stories abt him...i will live vicariously through garth

[im-a-mint]

As a way to try and redeem myself imagine s16 where Jay has been so mentally broken due to losing Nya that he runs away and becomes a villain in the search of an all powerful way to bring her back, but instead of it being Jay centric it’s actually Cole centric and four things end up happening:

1.- Jay becomes part of a crew of pirates

2.- The groups realizes how important Jay is to everyone in the group

3.- Jay finally accepts Nya’s gone and that she wasn’t worth his time but is still a villain because it’s thrilling for him to cause trouble

4.- It ends up with Cole joining Jay, becoming his second in command (and low key gay lover) and so they’re now the new villains for s17

[antigonewinchester]

well, I’ve been watching more of s11 and… actually kind of liking it! especially after the extended Sam & Dean conflict of the last 3 seasons, them finally working together again against an external threat is such a breath of fresh air. I can see why s11 is a fan fav, esp against all the messiness of s9 & s10. also suspect the writers were enjoying it more too, just given how these eps feel better written, more entertaining & overall more cohesive. while things could change in s12 - s15, I’ve seen the idea that Dean becomes the main character instead of Sam (even from talking to friends IRL who watched the show but aren’t in fandom) and I’d disagree / have quibbles with it, at least thru what I’ve seen. if the Kripke era started the audience in Sam’s POV and was abt his journey and could-be-good, could-be-bad destiny, then s11 returns to the formula of Sam back in a more heroic role & having mysterious stuff to deal with once again. the show even has Sam having prophetic / meaningful dreams, just like early seasons. and then Dean’s back in a more directly supportive role, esp in contrast to s10, which took Dean far out from his usual narrative role and the writers really struggled with it, imo.

anyway, “Baby” was a cool, inventive frame for an ep, and I liked how the violence almost got into slapstick territory. really enjoyed the spookiness of both “Thin Lizzie” and “Plush,” the costumes especially were very creepy, and Donna is a great side-character. there’s some kind of meta around soullness as connected to trauma & how different ppl react to trauma (and definitely some threads re: good vs bad victims here). Crowley being an evil, manipulative dad really works, and the show is not subtle in having Crowley wanting / trying to kill Dean after ‘becoming’ a dad, huh. the Dean & Crowley & Amara scene in 11x06 actually gave me some faint echoes of “Devil’s Trap”? in Dean being threatened by a demonic father figure but then saved by Amara & her powers (what Sam was unable to fully do in 1x22) and then with Amara wanting to fill a Sam-esque obsessive sibling spot in Dean’s life, her “you save me, I save you” speech and the God’s sister reveal. overall, the Dean & Amara’s connection is appropriately disconcerting, uncomfortable & intriguing. Jensen played the ‘I’m both drawn to you & incredibly disturbed by it’ ending of 11x06 really well, esp opposite a teen Amara. it’s always great to see how he plays these quieter scenes.

the whole “we need to save people again!” thing isn’t totally working for me, tho. I get what the show is going for, returning to the “saving ppl, hunting things” idea and wanting to focus more on the saving rather than killing part, but because the show didn’t focus much on it for most of Carver’s era, it just feels kind of awkward to be like, oh, now they care abt not killing hosts / vessels. thematically, it certainly feels again like a calling back to early seasons, which had such a focus on the “saving vs killing” and the family motto, although I’d say Kripke’s era had a lot of complexities to Sam and Dean and how they viewed the family motto even early on, so it wasn’t a 1 to 1, saving or killing, for either of them.

the last thing is that it is wild to be watching this season right after having finished my casual Revolutionary Girl Utena rewatch, because in RGU there’s also a prominent God and his sister as the darkness plot which goes in quite a different direction to what’s happened / happens on SPN. on one level the plot and character similarities are a coincidence, as these 2 shows are quite distant in their themes & ideas, but on another level... given narrative threads around responsibility shifting, good vs bad victims and esp gender, my thoughts are percolating here.

[cutemeat]

MacDennis. Will it ever be canon? And if so how far. Like Dennis telling Mac he loves him, end finale scene.

Or are we destined to be cock teased with them like Dennis does Mac

considering all the stuff about the shamrock tattoo this season i am especially convinced they are going somewhere with this arc. i mean truthfully I don't view mac/dennis as a "ship" "going canon" cuz i think macdennis has been a legitimate canon dynamic esp since s5/s6 but clearly there's been hesitance in whether or not to actually make it known in the text cuz they're so afraid of being "locked-in" to anything or whatever shit they say ..

but in terms of whether i think they will actually explicitly show it or not, cuz that seems to be the debate they've been having.. that at least seems to be the direction they're headed lately esp considering the subtext of the Jumper ep. (s14 in general hammering in mac/dennis onscreen romance arc as one of its major "pitches" before "the movie started" if u will) and like I said at the start, the whole shamrock tattoo fiasco this season only pushed that belief further. i mean litrlly this is a line from the Billboard ep .. so would explain why dennis would be making such a fuss over the thing lol

that being said i hope next season is less feet dragging and more action (lol @ dennis' literal feet dragging in the finale.. has to have been a metaphor right.. right) cuz truly.. if i have to watch another season of eps where the subtext is the writers being annoyed that ppl can't tell dennis is mac's love interest n then not doing anything im gonna eat thru some drywall in true macdennis locust fashion

I mean I don't think it's at all a coincidence that dennis' arc this season incorporated a lot of the same elements from MFHP (aka the hematoma on dee's forehead & "to truly understand what this life is like you need to spend some time with someone who's living it.." echoing frank opening up 'the old cut' in MFHP) and then HOHC in the finale ... but it was done on the more standard subtextual level cuz yknow. it's dennis n not mac this time lmao.. and moving the sexuality-specific lens aside, denial of identity has been a big thing for dennis since he's basically just been playing a character that meets frank's expectations (see: "don't wanna brag but I've actually been in character all week") since s7 at this point.. so as a whole dennis has lost his grasp on who HE is and seems like he is coming to terms with that fact in s15 on his own after all his usual defense mechanisms fail him (as well as frank) n he has to deal with that.

then as for "how far" .. I personally think they should go for it in s16 cuz come on.. the mention of a "sweet sixteen party" in Mops Twice hello... it's the perfect set-up to call back this bit of dialogue too:

so to me, that would just make the MOST sense timing-wise for that particular arc to come to a head.. tho i will say after having thought through like at least 10+ possible scenarios for how it could all go down using pre-existing threads uh... those possibilities really can be infinite!!!! so I have no fucking clue which exact route they might take, i'm just along for the ride at this point lmaoo

[stardustnfreckles]

To celebrate the DeanCas100k on ao3 here's a list of my all-time favourite Destiel fanfictions:

CANON VERSE

A turn of the earth Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Early seasons!Dean keeps meeting Cas at the most random moments, till he isn’t anymore... Definetly a must read.

In the shadow of your wings

Set after the S11 finale. Dean kinda breaks Cas’ heart. Because sometimes he can be thick SOB. The Cas finds a new shiny and witty italian boyfriend and Dean’s not happy about it. and now Sam is missing, Mary is back and Dean has a mixed bag of feelings he has to deal with. Probably my favorite canonverse ever.

Like moses and batman and James Dean dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas.

A masterpiece in characterization by saltyfeathers. I loved everything, The dialogues, the flashbacks, the way Dean and Cas emotions are portrayed. There’s angst and internalized homophobia but also confort and IT IS JUST SO GOOD OK?

The best bang for your buck It’s not like Castiel knows who this GotImpala67 person is. There’s no personal information listed on their profile. Except that they’re male, thirty-seven, from Kansas and, apparently, they like inserting things inside themselves.

Cas plays dumb even tho he really is not and I love him for it. Dean is the kind of buyer who leaves detailed reviews of the products he buys (which is the best kind if you ask me) I love the writer’s style and their sense of humor. It’s short although I never get tired of re-reading this one. Also Bring up the deep & Till the juice runs from the same author are with mentioning.

Kisses by sunflowers beds by fanforfanatics & Watched by K_K_TiBal

This two fics have a on thing in common: At the end of both you’ll be asking yourself how can less than 5k hurt you so much?

I cried, then I smiled and cried some more. This fics will crush you in the best way possible.

Take me home country roads The most IC Deamon!Dean I’ve ever read. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions.

What’s missing is found (our souls can exhale now) by sobsicles aka queen of post S15 fix-it fics

That black dog ache A simple case turns Dean upside down as he attempts to deal with the effects of a particularly strange love spell.

The perfect gift Castiel has a big problem concerning Dean... thankfully, Sam is always around to help

Really short Crack!Fic about Cas being clueless and adorable.

So says the sword by komodobits

Actually I suggest to go on their ao3 profile and read EVERYTHING.

The profet must die

Dean starts reading Chuck’s book out of curiosity and ends up having a epiphany about his apparently not so much platonic relationship with a certain angel of the lord.

A room of one’s own All Dean wants is a little privacy. Cas doesn't understand.

It mostly smut with a bit of healthy angst and great amount of humor.

My Roots Take Flight After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

Reverse!Verse set in season 4. It’s interesting to watch their relationship develop even if the roles are reversed.

The hands that bind me Dean is struggling with adjusting back into the civilized world after a year of fighting for his life in Purgatory. He's going to need some angelic assistance reining in his darker impulses.

If your’re into BDSM/Sub!Dean/Dom!Cas/Hurt/Confort/Dark themes then that’s the fic for you.

What has eight tentacles and isn’t allowed to eat pie? Dean is an octopus 🐙 and it’s weird but also kinda sweet.

Cuckoo and nest For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. it puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless.

Established relationship/ they’re really bad at communication/ fluff / hurt confort

Put up your dukes Dean can't sleep. Cas offers to tire him out.

Along my restless palms Ever since Cas started staying in the bunker, Dean’s been having these crazy dreams—dreams that feature him and Cas in absurd, tawdry scenarios like something out of a filthy paperback. Dean chalks it up to exhaustion, or some monster messing with his head, anything to ignore the real cause: Cas in his personal space, in various states of undress, and, wow, way more muscular than Dean would’ve expected. But if it’s just physical lust that’s the cause, then that’s an easy fix, right? No big deal. There’s definitely nothing else that his subconscious is trying to tell him. Absolutely not.

last but not least Pretty much anything by xylodemon. The atmosphere and the way characters are portrayed are *chef kiss* There are a lor of case fics and they really feels like actual episodes from supernatural just way less omophobic and more fun.

[meowmeowmessi]

Loool that Simp cass tag. But you were right tho, after that dean can’t reciprocate scene, all shit cas made sam go thru made him look like a jealous bitch. And it makes so much sense now too which is funny cox when i watched the episode where cass didn’t answer any of Sam’s text i was wondering why. Like Dean was the one he was fighting with.. why not answer Sam’s texts.. and after 15x18 i hmm bitch was just jealous. He even said to dean “you & Sam have each other.” Jealous!Cas is canon y’all.

I honestly hate how much I've been thinking about simp Cass ever since 15×18  aired afjklafjsjlgjskafjkl like??? This isn't even the first time Dean and Cass had a fight after which Sam left Cass texts and Cass didn't answer??? But what happened in s15 is ten times funnier bc Dean was actually PISSED on Sam's behalf that Cass wasn't responding to his texts bc "How dare you not reply to Sammy's texts and make him sad?" There's so much jealous bitch Cass stuff to be found in s15 alone but the rest of the show has a lot to offer as well. Cass saying yes to Lucifer? Totally a ploy to get back at Sam. Cass leaving Sam in the cave to die in s13 and telling Dean he can't be saved? WELL. Simp Cass in Beat The Devil be like:

Cass: Sam is dead!!!! Now NOTHING can get in the way of me and Jack and Dean being a happy family!!!

Dean: *literally won't talk to anyone, not even his own mother, the one he came to this hell hole for in the first place, is adamant on getting back to Sam no matter what, vampires be damned*

Jack: WHERE'S SAM??? HE'S NOT DEAD HE CAN'T BE DEAD WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING HIM BACK?!?!? *shoves Cass' hand off of his shoulder*

Cass: Like father like son fml 

Also Sacrifice is pretty hilarious too if you look at it through simp Cass lens: 

Sam: *is going to die if he finishes the third trial*

Cass: What an excellent opportunity to drag Dean away from Sam just as he's beginning the third trial so that he can FINALLY die already and I can have all of Dean's love 

And then he takes Dean away to that bar or whatever where the cupid hooks up the two dudes and Cass is all *wink wink* *nudge nudge* @ Dean while Dean is like "So when can I go back to Sammy"

And then Naomi tells Dean that Sam will die if he finishes the trials and Cass is mentally going "NOOOOOOOOO" as he watches Dean's face take on that age old "SAMMY IS IN DANGER NOTHING ELSE MATTERS NOW" look.

Cass: She's lying!!!!!!!! Sam will be tOtALLy fine!!!!!

Dean: idgaf tAKE ME TO SAM  N O W

Cass, having s4 finale flashbacks: Oh my Father not this again 

And then there's the fact that he lied about not knowing that Sam's soul is missing even though he KNEW Sam was soulless the MINUTE he pulled him out......... Guess he thought if he brought back a soulless version of Sam and lied about it then Dean would think he's lost his baby brother forever and he could slide riiiigghht in to take Sam's place but NOPE. Dean's now just pining for his puppy eyed empath of a brother. Absence makes the heart grow fonder amirite. And THEN Dean finds out Sam's soul is missing so Cass is like "U should leave it in the cage bc uh... UHHHHH..... *checks notes* Sam might die if he gets his soul back..... even though if he does he'll go straight to heaven which is oBviOusLy worse than being tortured by two furious archangels in the cage. Yep. That makes sense." *nailed it*

Dean: *kills himself and bargains with Death to get Sam's soul back and makes Death put up a wall in Sam's head to protect him from his hell memories*

Cass: Guess I gotta do this the hard way then *breaks Sam's wall*

Dean to Death later on: KILL HIM *pointing at Cass*

Cass:

Also imagine if all those times Cass accidentally held his fake FBI badge upside down and Dean fixed it for him was not so ~accidental~ bc he knows Dean doesn't like being close to him so that's the only way he can get SOME skin on skin contact with him......... like.............

Cass: *holds his fake badge upside down*

Dean: *fixes it for him and their fingers brush for .000002 seconds*

Cass, mentally:

Cass in Sam's room pretending to watch Netflix when in reality he's trying hard to drown out Sam's moans and Dean's grunts as Dean fucks his baby bro in Dean's room like:

(my friend suggested this Fall Out Boy song to me for simp Cass and I hate how well this bit fits skjsksjskjskskj) 

Also Cass hugging Dean in the s11 finale and Dean just giving him a bro pat while with Sam Dean YANKS him into an embrace and folds his arms over him and holds him close, letting Sam curl his hands into his jacket and bury his face in his shoulder while flower petals float in the air around them must have made Cass seethe with rage lmao

Purgatory must have been fun. Benny probably let Dean talk his ear off about Sam bc he was ACTUALLY a good bro and Dean's REAL best friend and he realized that Sam meant a lot to Dean so he let Dean have this sliver of happiness while Cass just felt like dying in the back lmfao 

wym I think about simp Cass too much 

[fanficmaniatic]

So I just finished Watching Seabound.

I’m not okey.

Like a lot of people in the fandom, I used to watch Ninjago as a kid, I loved the show, I loved Cole, Zane and Nya more than any other character in the show. But like many fans, For some reason stopped watching after season 3 and came back years later. That years later for me was November 17, 2019, when my brother and I watched The Lego Ninjago Movie for the first time and Nostalgia made us rewatch the show, and realize... Its pretty much alive and going.

Through all of 2020, Ninjago was the one of the few things that kept me sane. Like for many people, my 2020 was shit, and watching Ninjago, drawing Cole, Morro and Nya had become an activity of comfort for me. I even dressed as Nya for Halloween . (Or more specific I had a black ninja gi and I wore it like 6 times, Every time I was Either Cole, Morro or nya but whatevs).

I guess the point of all this is, that When Kirby Morrow (Rest In Peace) Passed away, I didn’t take it well, not at all. I couldn’t watch ninjago after that, what once was my biggest comfort so easily brought me tears. The fandoms reaction may have been a big part of the why, I saw so many people treating his death as a trend, harassing other Voice actors WHO KNEW HIM, demanding condolences when Most fans had’nt even SEEN Kirby Morrow in person. I saw so many people that didn’t even Like Cole’s Character posting about Kirby’s death just to get likes and followers, like Kirby Morrow wasn’t a person with friends and family. It felt so wrong to me to even speak about it when I had no actual connection to the actor. But Cole was my favorite charcater, the one I knew I would stick too till the end of time, and though Kirby and Cole weren’t one and the same, the voice that cheered me up for such a hard time of my life was gone, and I didn’t knw how to process that.

I haven’t rewatched any old season since, I haven’t been Able to draw Cole ever since, nor interact with most of the fandom besides the small circle of friends I made.

And this takes us to Seasons 14 and 15. I know this are the last things He recorded, and I know lego said they were dedicating season 15 to Kirby, so I go in with that in mind. It hurt seeing how his character had so little involvement with the overall history of both seasons, and tho s14 was meh, after watching e1 of s15 I was exited! It seemed like it would be a great season, and it was I loved so many parts of it, but knowing Ninjago’s records of ”everything is happy at the end” I was not expecting Nya to “die” in the final episode. I projected a lot into Nya, and saw a lot of myself in her too. So A part of me is sad about the future of the character, but the funeral escene followed by the words “In Loving Memory if Kirby Morrow” have taking me by surprise.

Conclusion, I cried a lot this morning.

[darthbecky726]

it's the way that I insisted that I watch the s15 premiere live even tho I was on vacation. it's the way that I had my mom go buy me a pie to eat as I watched the first episode of the last season of my favorite show. it's the way that I noticed immediately how the quality was worse than even the previous season (which I didn't notice was much worse than the earlier ones bc I binged the whole show in three months bc it was so addicting). it's the way that I was like, ok well that wasn't the strongest season opener, but maybe they just edited it weird. it's the way that I kept that excuse up through the following few episodes before the covid hiatus. it's the way that I didn't watch live when the show resumed. it's the way that I didn't even finish watching the available episodes on Netflix bc they were so obviously inferior to everything prior. it's the way that I didn't watch the finale, but I did watch despair. it's the way that I actually expected there to be hope for cas even after that ending. it's the way that we were all cheated out of a proper farewell for a show that had been in most of our lives for years. it's the way that we weren't even surprised bc they'd done this before. what else were we to expect? this was the precedent. it's the way that, a year later, we're still mourning what should have been (along with most of the cast). didn't we deserve better? didn't the loyal fans who stuck with this show through terrible plot lines and very questionable episodes deserve some consolation prize for their years of dedication? make it make sense.

[torturedpoetdean]

I literally had never watched spn before, but i heard 15 would be the final season, so i decided to 'check in' on the fandom every time it trended in order to 'pay respects' to the trailblazing the fandom had done. So i lived every moment of s15 with people. The wildness. Several months off ended up happening due to pandemic and i totally forgot it was ending, so i was sucked in on november 5th like the rest of tumblr. Spent the next 2 weeks going insane, and my first 2 eps were 15x19 and 20. I even wrote meta before watching the show. I started from the beginning a couple weeks after and the brainworms are still so intense and i'm not finished yet.

‘Pay your respects’ 😂😂😂 omg I love you.

And I’m sorry 19 and 20 were your first eps that’s ROUGH. Sorry to tell you the brainworms really never get better it just gets worse, glad you’re one of us tho!!!

[agusvedder]

I DON’T CARE if this doesn’t get any notes. I need to vent.

My name is Agustina, I’m 27 years old. I’m a nonbinary, queer, latinx person, parent of a 4 year old, non-verbal authistic child. I suffer from depression and anxiety.

I’m 9 thousand kilometers away from the woman I love.

I’m not a victim. I am a minority. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

I started watching Supernatural in 2015, you know, being a stay-at-home parent, who dropped her career and her job to live the first years of their child, there wasn’t much I could do in my free time but to watch a show. I caught a few episodes of season 11 on tv and then I decided to start from zero. I always acknowledged how problematic it was in terms of representation, but always saw small threads of light filtering in the message it sent, recognizing how its writers were trying to shed a little light, creating a jenga tower of storylines and new characters, only to be thrown away by poor, useless deaths and the erasure of said characters.

Since my first run on season 1 I related to Dean. I saw myself on him. (I will never be as brave and cool as him tho, never ever, but his personality traits, some of his family issues, his self worth issues, his loneliness, his unaddressed childhood trauma, his growth in a circle of violence, his reticence to address his feelings until he explodes?... Yeah. There are days where my girlfriend makes fun of me saying “Ok Dean”). I kept looking up to Dean in his geekiness, in his way he always put his life on the line to protect the people he loves and put them always first… even in the supernatural side of the storyline, he still was profoundly human and abnegated to the people in his life. Also because I’m deeply in love with Castiel but that’s another subject. Thanks to this show, I’ve found people in my own country who now I recognize as my family beyond SPN, who helped me accept myself the way I am, who are always there for me. My found family, my chosen family. Because family don’t end in blood, because family cares about you, not only for what you can do for them, because that’s what all of us have in common, and why this show resonated as strongly as it did for us. That’s why we found each other and ourselves in the process, in a circle of love, support, non-judgement and willingness to find a family in ourselves when our own blood relatives ignored us, abused us, refused to recognize us. We’ve found love and family. I’ve found the woman with whom I wanna spend the rest of my life with because of this show.

That’s the power of this story. I know my small circle is not the only one who lived this, who continues to live it.

I can talk about this forever, but there’s something I wanna talk about specifically here. When the ending aired.. what I felt was… like a bucket of cold water was thrown over my head. You know when your parents come home, or call you and give you the devastating news that someone you love died? that exact feeling. The adrenaline, the heartbreak, the feeling of loss. 

The whole season 15 and 15 years of storyline were completely overturned. The misogyny the writers tried so hard to erase, it was there again, in a faceless woman who was supposed to represent the person a lead chose to spend the rest of his life with, reduced to a lilac dress, a blurry face and a uterus. We never seen acknowledged the existence of Eileen Leahy, Sam Winchester’s romantic interest since season 11, his perfect partner whose disability wasn’t an obstacle for her to be a badass hunter. (BUT COVID!! <- No. Eileen Leahy appeared in two episodes this season without Shoshannah being on set: Last Holiday and Despair. If they wanted to include her, they would have. They didn’t because they don’t give a FUCK). Sam Winchester is an academic, a witch, a leader, a powerful hunter, a kind human being, and the ending that was given to him was living an unfulfilled life, dying at a ridiculous young age, having a son only to replace his dead brother? It was sad. Sammy deserved better. He always did.

My beloved Dean Winchester, who I love so deeply, who taught me a lot about myself, about life, love, family, about *ejem* VICIOUS CIRCLES and the power of breaking free from them, of learning to embrace one’s self, our real tastes, our real identity, to come out of a shadow of being reduced to someone’s caretaker instead of having an identity of our own, to spend life loving family the healthy amount.. well, he was killed in a ridiculous way, on a milk run of a hunt.  After being eager and ready to kill himself so many times. After all he’s been through, after saying he’s good with who he is, after considering retirement, after standing up to his dad, saying he already has a family, ready to cut the “I’m Okay” bullshit, address his feelings, his trauma, don’t letting those define him. He deserved better. He always wanted a family, he always wanted to break free from the version of himself he was created to be, “daddy’s blunt little instrument” (For fuck’s sake, he even said it in the same show 10’ before dying, man. If we don’t keep living, the sacrifice the people who died for us did, was for nothing). Are you telling me this man really would refuse his brother to call an ambulance? Refused his brother to get the first aid kit even knowing it was more serious than his brother thought? He was ready to live. He CHOSE life, and at the end his choice was stripped away from him. He clearly was a bisexual man and they never explored it.

Cas. The misfit. The fish outside of the water. Ambiguous gender and sexuality. Finally makes a homosexual declaration of love after all he’s been through. After being brainwashed, used, suicidal, isolated. After telling Sam and Dean he loved them more than once, that they meant everything for him. After confessing he’s been in love with Dean since he pulled him out of hell…. Was erased from the story. Erased, literally. Two emotionless mentions aren’t enough for a 12 year old family member who pulled both brothers out of hell, who died for them more than once, who until 2 seasons ago he didn’t even feel like he belonged there ‘cause he was never told he was loved. No one ever told him “I love you” back. Not Jack, not Sam, not Dean, not Mary. No one. Ever. And still, he died for love. And with his death, he was erased from the finale, being that the first finale Castiel wasn’t in since his appearance on the show. He deserved better. 

All roads lead to Rome and you know what we got at the end of that road? a bottomless pit of NOTHING. The building up towards a different end isn’t just in s15. It’s been there for years and years. And if you watch the show, you see it at plain sight.

 

Sam Winchester hurried to die to reunite with his brother in heaven EVEN WHEN HE SPENT 30 MORE YEARS WITH A WIFE AND A KID he only wanted to die to go back to his brother? it’s insane, it’s ridiculous. That’s not what the show has been about for seasons now. SEASONS. The road was paved towards a healthy brotherly bond, each brother living their future the way they wanted, finally breaking free from the curse John dropped on Dean that Sam’s destiny was in his hands. No no. What was that? Did it ever happen? Was it a fever dream? They really destroyed everything in 38 minutes of the finale? 

Stupid. 

Representation is important, stories are important. They change lives. You know how it changed mine? After I saw Jonathan Van Ness coming out as non-binary, I started to realize how I never called myself "a woman, a girl" or anything like that, how my "female presenting" aesthetic changes drastically depending on how I feel when I wake up  how I always called myself a "person", no gender involved. I realized I was a non-binary person even after becoming a parent. Thanks to Jonathan Van Ness. Thanks to seeing a person like her being unapologetically herself. 

Representation matters. 

It matters. 

It helped my mom understand me when I was 13 and had a girlfriend. It helped my dad educate himself about trans identities. It helped my sister understand about her demisexuality. It helps break circles of ignorance and stereotypes. It helps people process what these characters wanna tell, and realize they're human beings above it all. We suffer, we laugh, we grieve. We love. We exist. 

Supernatural missed a chance to be a historical show in terms of representation. And it breaks my heart.  I cant believe they decided to erase Dean's sexuality, to erase Castiel after saying loud and proud he's in love with a man, to erase Eileen whose disability only was a disadvantage when they KILLED HER in the most ableistic way in s11, to never show Charlie and her girlfriend again, that they decided to make God bisexual AND a villain, thay they decided to turn the only regular non-binary character of color into the villain too (Billie).

I'm still grieving.

This is why "a stupid show" is so important for me, and for lot of people like me. Cause representation can change lives. Stories can change lives. It certainly changed mine, and I'm not the only one. 

Don't let anyone tell you you're just a butthurt fan because you're suffering this ending. Every one of us have a story and this is mine. All of us are valid, our feelings are valid. And we'll get through this eventually

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 5

[Season 4 here]

Episode 1:

Dean is visibly upset about Cas' death, especially at (6:07), and Zachariah notices. From here on, we have a progressive worse reaction from Dean to each of Castiel's deaths

Dean calls Cas a 'friend', again sounding very upset (8:20)

We also get a parallel between Dean and Sam: "I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch!" and "I learned that from Ruby." (9:10) ICWAW, this parallel would implicate romantic subtext

Cas comes back, bringing top energy onto Zachariah, and Dean just... checks him out (32:43) [this is a frequent thing by the way, I'm on S10 right now, it is]

Episode 2:

I'm so fuckin sorry but I'm laughing too hard at this: D"God" C"Yes" D"God" C"Yes!" (4:09) guys, don't sex-talk in front of Sam and Bobby

"I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you." (4:54)

Dean gives in to Cas' top energy "Dean, give it to me." (5:53) shit, guys, enough sex-talk

Episode 3:

The 'personal space scene'. Dean, love, if someone is in your personal bubble, and you don't want them there, you don't stand there for 10 seconds while flicking your gaze from their eyes to their lips TWICE (6:04) ICWAW, these scene would be read as full of sexual tension

Dean here compares himself and Cas to Thelma & Louise, from a movie with HELLA lesbian subtext. And the way he looks at Cas for 7 seconds, tongue between his teeth and just... this fucking look (7:37)

You don't look at friends that way. You don't.

"I need your help, because you're the only one who'll help me. Please". (7:58) Cas trusts Dean will help him while no other would, and he is right... also Dean keeps glancing at his lips

The way Dean fixs Cas' tie and collar, so domestic. (10:34) [This will parallel in 10x05 when Dean messes up musical!Castiel's tie for it to be a legit costume.] Also, the whole police station scene is full of Old married couple moments

"There are two things that I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay." And then they were voted best chemestry couple like Bert and Ernie. Just saying. (16:23) "Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch... let's go."... and Cas just follows Dean like nothing, but later on...

... Cas is beyond terrified at the idea of being intimate with a woman (11:24),

tho he followed Dean with no problem. ... Did... did he think Dean was making an offer?

He chugs down a beer in fear, poor baby

And he is so jumpy I'm dying

Dean admits Cas is the only one who has made him laugh for real in years (20:58), also, shoulder hug, and Cas, who was on the verge of tears a moment earlier, is smiling and comfortable now.

"Don't look at me, it was his idea." (26:57) the look Cas gives Dean, they're so fucking #MARRIED

"Today you're my little bitch." "... What he said!" Dean is impressed and amused by Cas' smugness (and top energy) (31:55) Basically "Well, mark me down as scared and horny!"

Dean understands how Cas feels, and wants to help. He says he feels good with him "I've had more fun with you in the past 24h that I've had with Sam in years... and you're not that much fun." (36:06) Dean doesn't want to be alone, didn't want Cas to leave.

Episode 4:

Dean sounds and looks like a teenager on the phone with their crush, teasing Cas while smiling softly (1:22). Also "I'll just... wait here then." (2:15)

Even as a mortal, Cas stuck with Dean through the apocalypse, living in pain, chugging down drugs, but never leaving Dean's side. Being his second during hunts. Having only each other

And this Cas can recognize this Dean is not his own only by glancing at him for a moment (... by looking at his dick?!) (18:37)

Dean is stunned and concerned about apocalypse!Cas and how his life turned out

Apocalypse!Cas sits like Dean. Aww, they've been rubbing off on each other [yeah, I bet] (22:27)

"I like past you!" and that smile. So sweet and nostalgic (25:35)

This whole scene (23:48). They are so #MARRIED

Dean is concerned about Cas doing drugs, being basically depressed and living like shit (28:03)

Cas saves Dean again. "We had an appointment." "...Don't ever change." and the way they stare at each other (38:49) look at those smiles and how longingly Cas looks at Dean

Episode 8:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean is totally BI: (12:04); "Sure" (12:42); "What makes Dr Sexy, SEXY, is that he wears cowboy boots!" (12:57); and Dean loves cowboys, just saying

Is... is Dean thinking about Cas being pretty? And about the fact that a creepy guy just called his angel 'pretty'? (20:26)

First thing Dean requests Gabe does is to bring Cas back, threatening him

Episode 9:

Dean reacting to Damien and Barnes being a couple is... LOL (36:27) and after that (38:40), he is on his own, fiddling with his keys, smiling to himself. And when Sam asks if he is okay, he responds "Yeah, you know? I think I'm good." while still smiling to himself. Is he happy about an queer man portraying him, about seeing himself in a confident, openly queer man in a relationship? What else could it be?

Episode 13:

Dean gets more and more worried when Cas gets/is hurt (9:45)(38:02). Also, he got Cas a honeymoon suite. Wow. How sweet.

Episode 14:

The phone call scene. The stares, the tension... look at this shit (10:00)

Dean, stop checking out Cas. You're working. But seriously, look at him. He likes his roughness. AND AGAIN WITH THE LIPS STARING (11:02)

Dean and Cas, after being touched by a cherub, stand shoulder-to-shoulder close to each other, in front of a bi-coloured window (13:26-13:33) I MEAN- Also, Dean, you're staring at a naked man's dong... just saying (13:33-13:36)... stop that, be a professional

Is this the first wink Dean gives at Cas? (14:37) for real? With a cherub in the room? Wow.

(16:16) "Where did he go?" "I belive you upset him." Look at Cas during this scene. #MARRIED

Cas asks Dean where his Famine-induced-hunger is, why he seems unaffected by it... and Dean stares at Cas, then the burger he is holding, then back at him, like he has everything he could want right there, in his Baby (29:22)

Episode 16:

... I'm sorry, but... did Cas really have to MOAN Dean's name to get his attention? (5:24)

I believe this is the first time we ever hear Dean say the words "I love you" (14:38-28:09), and he is saying them to Sam. The only other time we hear him say it is to his mother in 12x22. And the only other person he was supposed to say those words to was, in fact, Cas in 8x17. Let that sink in.

"You son of a bitch." Dean's been rubbing off on Cas, and this is not the only line he has picked up from Dean (38:29)

Episode 17:

This is such a sweet scene. Cas is showing himself weak once again, and Dean sympathises with him, reassures him, confides in him. How sweet. (30:17) ICWAW, this would be seen as a romantic bonding moment

Episode 18:

Cas legit looks like an angry wife. Look how pissed he is at Dean (6:19) #MARRIED

This is such a #MARRIED scene, with Cas being pissy at Dean "being a coward". Also "Yeah, you know what? Blow me, Cas!" and his look after that, like "Does... does he actually want me to?" (13:22)

and this is not the last 'sexual invitation' Dean makes Cas. In fact, minutes later...

"Cas, not for nothing, but, the last person who looked at me like that... I got laid. *wink*" ... just... that (17:53). ICWAW, people would believe this was flirtatious, SHAMELESS, teasing

Look at that FULL TOP MODE tho

"I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?" (25:28) Cas is not just angry at Dean for giving up on the plan, but for giving up on life, on them. "So you could surrender to them?" (25:17) not "So you can let them win". It could've been phrased that way, but this is not about the angels winning. It's about Dean giving up on them. Cas is 'cause Dean would be selfishly leaving them

Cas starts taking off his tie and... Dean just stares (31:46). Moments later, we find out Cas totally took his shirt off in front of the boys to make the banishing simbol on his chest, and by the way Dean was STARING when it was only a tie, I bet he either gawked or averted his eyes. Either way, GAY

Cas prefers to die rather than watch Dean fail and die himself (31:55) Also, Sam still thinks of Dean as a hero who can do no wrong, while Cas recognizes his flaws and weaknesses. He knows Dean

Zachariah grabs Dean by the collar and gets in his face. Dean does nothing but flinch a little, mantaining his strong appearance. He only submits and looks overwhelmed when Cas does it (37:50)

Episode 19:

Cas is priority to Dean over Adam. He's more family to him than his actual blood (5:29)

Episode 21:

Cas is basically human, bloody, hurt, powerless and weak. First thing he does? Reach out for Dean (3:16)

Cas is still weak and powerless, and took a bus for miles, just to get back to Dean (12:35)

Episode 22:

Moments before basically going and kill himself, Dean focuses on Cas instead of Bobby, his father figure (24:35)

Cas is on the verge of tears at the thought of Dean dying (25:20)

We know Cas can heal without having to touch the body, but we always see him reach for contact with Dean (35:52) [That's why in S15, it hurts to see Cas not touching Dean while healing him. It feels unnatural]

Dean loves cowboys, and associates Cas to a sheriff. Cas, knowing that, smiles softly at the idea(37:30). Also, Dean obviously doesn't want Cas to leave, and tears up when he does

[Season 6>>]