#just add the song and everything hits different
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You know what hurts? Listening to "All Eyes On Me" By Bo Burnham, and thinking about a confrontation between Beast Guda and their human self.
A Guda who died to remain human, and another who continued to live and become an evil of humanity.
#fate grand order#idea dump#ramblings of a sleep deprived girl#sad songs#song mood rec#Guda's story is gonna end in tragedy and you can't convince me otherwise#you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain#that's basically what their story is going to turn into#angst#im sad okay#i'm crying#thinking about a guda who remained human because they died#And an alternate version of themselves who became a beast simply because they manged to survive and live#them just meeting and comforting each other because they realize there was only two ways their lives were gonna end up and it isn't fair#it hurts man it hurts#just add the song and everything hits different#merry christmas have some angst
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yeah the animation is beautiful and the story is brilliant but does it have good subtitles
#pls season 1 im begging#so much attention to detail yet even when they do add subs theyre not even all gramatically correct#which like... theyre still legible but it feels like they just didnt even bother to have someone do them who knew the difference between-#your and you're#babygirl i want to understand what youre saying#i catch most of it but not everything#i love the show! i want to enjoy it as much as other people please! 🥺#even stuff like... not leaving the italian from 'look at this' in italian and translating it instead. makes the joke not hit the same-#as only finding out later that fizz is spouting gibberish. i literally turn the subtitles off during that song when i show people HB#i dont want to wait days/weeks/months to be able to fully appreciate new episodes the way others can#helluva boss critical#accessibility#helluva boss
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🥺 footfalls lyrics hit different now bcs Sam Carter.
#🌙.rambles#i've been listening to a lot of architects lately yes#N IT HITS DIFFERENT W THE ENDWALKER TRAILER N ALL BCS. THAT'S HIM !#OH MY GOD#IT HITS SO DIFFERENT#honestly i think that also rlly makes architects one of my fav bands bcs#i knew his voice even before rlly listening to the band#that connection w ffxiv yk 😭 but now i'm a big fan of architects too yk#the whole ost of the trailer just. hits so hard honestly#w amanda's part too :^)#THE LYRICS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME THEY MEAN THE WORLD#hits so different tho fr every time i think of how. yk. the vocal for footfalls is ykyk ><#THATS SO COOL. THAT'S ACTUALLY SO COOL#aww this actually rlly means a lot to me#it's so funny bcs it's kind of reversed but this is pretty common for me#like. hearing his voice first in ffxiv then it adds more meaning when i get invested into the band he's actually in#similar to me w arknights kreide i knew what'd happen to him before even reading the story so that added to the emotion#n then shb when i knew everything abt azem T_T#sam singing for ffxiv n then me getting into the band#adds more meaning for me w. footfalls. bcs i rlly love the architects. n then w architects' own songs as well bcs of the ffxiv connection
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Nasty Girl (Fem!Reader x Ren Kaji) - NSFW
Author’s Note: I was sitting in traffic, and Lick or Sum by GloRilla started playing, and I thought, “this would make Kaji blush if it blasted through his headphones.” Anyway, GloRilla and Tinashe songs are referenced below, but you don’t have to know those songs to enjoy the story 🙂
Synopsis: New Fear has been Unlocked: not disconnecting your music from your boyfriend's headphones. Now, he just has to match your freak.
Content Warning: Fem!Reader x Ren Kaji. Sensory Deprivation (hearing), lyrics are explicit, Kaji imagines you giving him a lap dance, mention of Kaji smelling your sex, cunnilingus, p in v, dom behavior, dirty talk, use of the words slut and brat, ass smacking, talk of worshipping that ass, and technically a cumshot/creampie combo. Tis smut. Minors Do Not Interact.
Word Count: 2.4K
Divider by @strangergraphics. Story banner by me.
If you and Kaji could add music sharing to the official list of love languages, it would be underlined, bolded, and highlighted as it serves as an integral part of your relationship.
You appreciate Kaji’s favorite genres. Some of your dates with him include attending concerts—hard-hitting drums and thunderous electric rifts from bands like Metallica, Slipknot, and Megadeth make up some of your fondest memories with him.
Kaji enjoys listening to you express your musical taste, too. You are most certainly not a monolith; your taste in music varies, drifting through the ebbs and flows of enjoying different beats and sounds as you float between different genres depending on your mood.
While some of the songs you like may not resonate with him personally, he’ll always nod along as you gush about your favorite artists. He adores how your face lights up, whether you’re talking about rock, metal, hip-hop, or everything else in between. So when you apologize because you’re "talking his ear off," he’ll shake his head and encourage you to keep going. “Please tell me more about Megan Thee Stallion’s new album.”
Not only do you two exchange opinions on music, but it also isn’t unusual for you to borrow his headphones to listen to your playlist.
One day, you were preparing to make dinner, so you reached for your cell phone to put on some motivational tunes to get you through the monotony of dicing vegetables.
As you pushed play on your phone, you tilted your head to the side. You didn’t hear lyrical prose coming from the speakers. Instead, you heard the distinct sound of deafening silence. You pushed the play button again, considering that maybe you hadn’t pressed the correct area on the screen.
Still, nothing.
As you pick up your device to investigate whether the volume is on, Kaji, seated on the couch in the other room, scrunches his nose.
The music from the band In Flames suddenly stopped and was replaced by what he assumed to be something you were attempting to listen to.
His eyebrows furrow as he genuinely listens to the lyrics.
Lick on my clit, make this pussy cream. Do this motherfucker how you do them Russian creams.
Yeah, there’s no doubt that this is from your playlist, and it was certainly…graphic.
Kaji rises from the couch and approaches the kitchen doorway, pausing under the doorframe to admire you. His eyes wander over your shape, your ass jutting out a bit as you lean your elbows on the counter.
The lyrics are still drilling into his ear, raunchier and more explicit than the first few lines he heard, but he can’t help but wonder if you’d be willing to sing these lyrics to him. He imagines your pretty lips mouthing filthy shit into his ear.
His cock twitches, thinking about you dancing to the song, flirting your hips and ass in his lap as you tease him, letting his hands explore your body as you dip low and bend over, letting him see the way your ass eats up the fabric of shorts. Before he knows it, he’s rock hard, the outline of his dick protruding through his black skinny jeans.
You still haven’t identified the problem, and right as you consider force-closing the application, you feel Kaji press his body against your back. You jump a little at his sudden presence and open your mouth to tell him to give you a warning next time, but before you can, he places one shell of the headphones over your ear, leaving the one closest to his mouth uncovered.
“Interesting taste you have. What did she say? ‘All over his breath like pussy flavored gum’”
Well, damn, then.
Your knees suddenly feel as though they may not be able to keep you upright, trembling and unstable, as if you’re a new babe learning how to walk again. You feel the warmth of his breath, sweet and cherry-flavored, on the back of your neck.
Your boyfriend never talks like this. Kaji isn’t vanilla by any means, but he definitely doesn’t say things like GloRilla does in her song.
You laugh nervously. Suddenly, you’re very aware of how hard he’s pressing your body into the edge of the counter.
“I didn’t realize that I hadn’t disconnected Bluetooth.”
“No, looks like you didn’t.”
Kaji reaches up and places the other headphone shell over your ear—music drowns out any of the sounds in the kitchen, like the ticking of the clock on the wall or Kaji’s breathing in your ear. Instead, it’s replaced with the beginning of Tinashe’s Nasty.
I've been a nasty girl, nasty.
As she asks if anyone’s going to match her freak, you can feel Kaji’s hands tracing down your body, squeezing your breasts through the thin fabric of your dress, fingers lingering over your nipples despite the presence of your bra. He knows your body so well that he can locate them simply from memory.
As he glides his hands down your stomach, you prepare for him to touch you where you need him the most. The drooling, twitching mess that she is needs him.
But Kaji’s hands move behind you instead of touching you where you ache. You let out an audible whine that earns you an unseen smirk. Yeah, he knows what you think you need, but he knows better.
Need somebody with a good technique Is somebody gonna match my nasty?
He crouches down, hands lifting your dress; you don’t need a verbal command to know to kick up your feet so he can pull your panties down and toss them to the side.
If you keep up with me I'll keep on comin' back
With his strong hands placed firmly on your ass, his fingers grip and fondle the plush flesh, earning a strangled moan from your throat. You wiggle your ass in an attempt to get him to stop toying with you and touch you. But all you earn is a searing smack to your ass cheek and Kaji’s eyes appreciating the way you jiggle for him.
If you do it too good I'm gonna get attached
You yelp, your skin feeling a brief sting from his palm. You pout, but honestly, you only have yourself to blame, and you should absolutely know better. Kaji prefers it when you behave yourself, but when you are fervent about acting up? Fine, either a firm smack to your ass or clit, or a hand wrapped around your throat is quick to put you in your place.
But he’s not cruel. Punishments are his last resort, and as he presses his lips to the tender spot where he smacked your ass, offering you a gentle peace treaty, you’re reminded of that.
You once again jerk from his touch, feeling like something is pricking at your ass, but the kitchen counter and the way he’s keeping you held against it leave you with limited escape routes.
Kaji licks the indentations his teeth made on your cheek, a low growl erupting from his throat.
Fuck, he wouldn’t call himself an ass worshipper, but he’d be willing to drop to his knees and press his forehead against the filthy ground on the street to pay homage to yours.
Cause it feels like heaven when it hurts so bad Baby, put it on me I like it just like that
“Kaji, that hurt!”
The benefit of you being unable to hear is that Kaji doesn’t have to answer you. If he did, you’d probably hate the answer. A monotone “Good” from him would probably warrant an attitude from you. And he doesn’t want attitude—at least not at this moment—he just wants a well-intentioned taste.
You gasp as he presses his face into your sex, nose nudging against your folds, inhaling all of you. His mouth is watering as his tongue licks up and down your already wet slit, your slick sticking to your folds in the way fresh honey sticks to a honeycomb. His fingers spread your cunt open, eyeing the way you already dribble like a slut for him.
Your eyes roll back as he delivers a peck to your pussy, then a longer kiss until his mouth forms in an opened-mouth make-out session with her, not being liberal with the use of his tongue. You begin to press yourself back onto his mouth, daring his tongue to be even deeper. And Kaji doesn’t fight you; you give a silent thanks that he’s allowing you to fuck his tongue.
He brings his hand between your thighs, allowing the palm of his hand to rub against your clit as you bounce back on his face.
“You’re so messy,” he growls into your cunt as your slick drips down his chin and drenches his palm. And it’s the god-honest truth; your cunt is dripping, hot, wet, thick, and languid, coating his tongue and throat with your essence. You’re his favorite indulgence. When he has a sweet tooth, he doesn’t think of or crave candy; he thinks of you.
As your cum cascades into his mouth, his tongue cleans up every inch of you, tongue sliding between your folds, over your clit, your clitoral hood, and even your inner thighs. By the time he considers it a job well done, you’re glistening in his saliva more so than your cum.
Wiping his mouth against the back of his hand, he rises again to take his place pressed against your back.
“K-Kaji,” your moan is desperate as you press your ass against his crotch. “Need you so bad, baby!”
Kaji can’t help but keep his eyes on you as your head falls back to rest on his shoulder. You don’t realize how loud you’re being with the music playing in your ears, but he desperately hopes the neighbors can hear every single thing you yell.
Each gasp and moan leaving your lips has him throbbing, his heart pounding in his chest as his eyes travel down to your neck, watching you swallow so thickly, eyes pooling with desperation and pleading to have him, him, him.
He hikes one of your legs onto the counter, forcing you to knock over some of the produce you were planning to use for dinner.
He’s not very patient, even in moments where he wants to savor you; he’s his own worst enemy and too eager to feel you around him. He’s already stretching your cunt apart with the head of his dick, and you lean over to give him a better angle.
Kaji, ever the appreciative one, bottoms out immediately, stretching your hole to the thickest part of him.
With each jerk of his hips, the headphones shift until they clatter onto the counter in front of you. The sounds you were unable to hear before overwhelm your senses immediately. You catch the end of Kaji sputtering your name so loudly that you’re surprised you didn’t hear him over the music.
“Fuck, why are you so messy?” He rasps out, breath shakey and labored not from exertion but from simply being so consumed by his desire for you he can’t help but suck in too much oxygen.
“M-maybe it’s the way you just slobbered on my pussy?”
���Oh, god. There’s that fucking mouth. Headphones must be off.” You earn another smack to your ass and the quickening of his ruts into your sopping cunt. “Like you better when you’re too busy moaning like a slut to be a brat.”
You practically mewl in appreciation of being called a slut and a brat in the same sentence.
“Yeah, look at ya squeezing me tight, brat. Jerkin’ me off with your needy pussy.”
You bury your face into the crook of your elbow, moaning and face heating up because he’s fucking right; your pussy is wringing him, hoping to coax every last drop of his cum out of his balls.
Kaji hisses. Without warning, your cunt clamps down onto him, halting his rutting, “Fuck, pretty girl. Already?”
You whine because, really, what the fuck were you supposed to do? He should be praising you for holding on this long.
As your clenching stops, he has a bit more clearance to continue his thrusts, bottoming out into your tight, orgasming sex. The wet, squelching sound your pussy makes as Kaji hilts you are loud, filthy, lewd, practically sounding of nothing but sin. He can’t help but think, “like those songs she likes,” as he whimpers at the thought.
“Fuck, well, I’m glad you’re feeling good. Gonna let me cum now?” He’s teasing you because, of course, he can cum. You aren’t stopping him—the more the fucking merrier. You try to utter precisely that, but he juts his hips sharply, knowing you were going to say something with that smart-ass mouth of yours, the tip of his dick drilling against your g-spot.
Your nails scrape against the counter, trying to grip and claw at something. “K-kaji, I’m…!”
You bite your lip, that all-too-familiar tightening overtaking you until it bursts, and another orgasm rips through you.
Kaji groans and pulls out with urgency because there’s something he has to do. Call it a compulsion or whatever label you want to assign to it, but it’s something he’s compelled to do to you when the urge to cum inside doesn’t sway him.
He spreads your labia with his thumb, butterflying your pretty pussy for him. He’s giving himself solid pumps with his free hand, eyes never leaving your ass, loving the way it looks sticking out like this for him. He gasps, his moan raspy but so deliciously loud. “Fuck, fuck, fuck here it c-comes!”
His cum shoots out, splattering all over your waiting hole until it’s so covered by his thick, white seed that he can’t see your opening anymore. And the final part of the ritual? Smearing it all over your folds, the fleshy pink of you, and pushing it back in with the tip of his dick for good measure.
“What even is that fetish called?” you mumble.
“I don’t have a fetish. I just like doing…this.” He can’t tear his eyes away at how pretty she looks, covered in white.
He finally places a kiss on the back of your neck, his hand reaching around your fucked out and bent over form to grasp his headphones. “Forget cooking. Let’s order in.”
And maybe after this romp in the kitchen, you both had inadvertently conditioned yourselves to use certain songs to initiate sex. His dick automatically hardening when you play songs that bring him back to the moment in the kitchen, and him placing the headphones over your ears as he fucks you to the same music that celebrates getting your back blown out.
#wind breaker#windbreaker smut#ren kaji smut#ren kaji#ren kaji x reader#kaji x reader#kaji ren x reader
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Heyy Idk if this is how you request but we'll see......
Could you maybe do like a singer!reader who writes like dirty af songs abt Spencer and then Penelope shows the song to the rest of the team and they all start low-key bullying him and continue making comments abt it while on a case or something like that??
<33
XOXO-
~W~
okay i don't know any DIRTY DIRTY songs so i apologize if this isn't that great 😭 let me know if you want another one that shows different songs! ALSO I IMAGINE THE READER SINGING A DIFFERENT OUTRO TO NONSENSE EVERY NIGHT JUST LIKE MS SABRINA CARPENTER
cw: implied sex, reader talks sings about getting head and being handcuffed
wc: 610
masterlist
++
“Oh, hey pretty boy.”
Spencer walked into the bullpen to see the majority of the team huddled around Derek’s desk with amused looks on their faces. He tentatively continued his walk, but immediately froze in place when he heard the video playing from the computer.
“This song’s catchier than chickenpox is.
I bet your house is where my other sock is.
Woke up this morning, thought I’d write a pop hit.
How quickly can you take your clothes off, pop quiz?
My man’s IQ is one-eighty-seven.
When he’s going down on me I’m in Heaven.
Handcuff me to the bed like I’m a felon.”
Her laughs could be heard from the video, and Spencer’s face immediately turned fifty shades of red.
“So, where were you last night, Reid? You know, when you said you couldn't join us for drinks.”
He rolled his lips into his mouth at Emily’s question. Everyone had an expecting look except for Penelope… She seemed guilty. “I uh, I was at a concert…”
“What concert?” JJ’s question was presented as innocent, but it was everything but that.
“My girlfriend’s,” he mumbled lowly, barely loud enough for them to hear.
“Could you repeat that?”
Spencer glared at Derek, he knew exactly what he was doing. “My girlfriend’s.”
“Well hot damn, you finally admitted it!”
“I wasn't keeping it a secret. I'm just not as open about my love life as the rest of you are.” He huffed and brought himself over to his desk.
“Well, Garcia was kind enough to show us a video she found online and we didn't know what to expect… who else has an IQ of one-eighty-seven?”
Spencer whipped his head over to Penelope with wide eyes.
“I’m sorry!” Her hands went up in her defense. “I just– I love her music and I couldn't make it to the concert in D.C last night so I was watching videos that people took and it doesn't take a genius to know who she's talking about when we know you so well.” Her words were quick, and she was huffing to breathe when she finished her sentence.
Spencer groaned and put his head in his hands.
“I think my favorite song of hers is Nasty.”
Spencer winced at Emily’s words as everyone else laughed. They definitely are going to have a field day with him.
“I love Espresso.” The humor in JJ’s voice was evident.
“So It Goes… and Guilty as Sin? might be the top contenders for me,” and Derek just has to add on. “Tell us, Reid, are scratches down your back?”
Spencer stood up and went towards the coffee machine, ignoring the laughs and references they were making. He was allowed about three minutes of solace before Penelope hesitantly tapped his shoulder with a shy look on her face. “We got a case. Everyone’s at the round table.” He gave a nod at her words and followed her, ears perking up when he heard her singing under her breath, “don't want to wait on it. Tonight, I wanna get nasty.”
He suppressed the groan waiting to come out, and sat down at the table when he felt a buzz in his pocket.
Y/N: made it to philly!! love you, be safe today. text me whenever you're free 🫶
He was about to message back before Hotch walked in, “We’re going to brief as quickly as possible. We're headed to Philadelphia.”
He knew Penelope knew the next stop on Y/N’s tour, and could feel her eyes boring into the side of his face. He was mentally preparing for the jokes as soon as they stepped out of the conference room.
++
songs that i imagined reader wrote about spencer:
nonsense by sabrina carpenter
nasty by ariana grande
espresso by sabrina carpenter
so it goes... by taylor swift
guilty as sin? by taylor swift
dress by taylor swift
#spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#dr spencer reid x reader#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds
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{Acid nor Alkaline} Reader x Sub!Azriel
We hit 800 followers!!! Thank y'all so much for the never ending support, and we haven't even hit the year mark yet!!! Crazy shit. I love you all so so much, so enjoy this very very disgusting smut fic about Az being a naughty little boy. Enjoyyyy!! Title inspired by this song. p.s. thank you @sarawritestories for giving me some of the most wonderful ideas for this and a possible new series coming your way 🤫
Word Count: 6,117
Warnings: SMUT. Loads of it (😏), Dom!Reader, Sub!Azriel, degrading, sex as punishment, teasing, overstimulation, bondage, oral (m receiving), brat taming, humiliation, bit of unexplored voyerism.
Tagging: @velariscalling @d3ad-ins1de @a-courtof-azriel @artof-aristocracy @fourthwing4ever @librafairy @needylilgal022 @cyrygher @lees-chaotic-brain @harrystylesfan2686 @justdreamstars
Summary: You put Azriel on a sex ban after he came without permission.
~~~~~
“I did not give you permission.”
“P-Please Yn-”
“Not yet,” I reprimand, shoving Azriel’s shoulders flat on the bed. “I told you no.”
Az pants. Mouth open, chest rising and falling under my palms. “Please, Yn. I-I need it so bad.”
“No you don’t. You’ll do exactly what I asked because you’re my good boy. Behave. You know I’m not afraid to punish you.”Az grit his teeth, hands coming to my hips. “Uh uh,” I click my tongue, forcing his hands off my body. “I didn’t say you could touch either.”
“Fuuuuck,” he whines, bending his knees and using that leverage to fuck into me. “Please please please.”
“No,” I snapped, climbing off his lap. Off where he needs me most. “Didn’t I tell you to stop? Are you trying to be a fucking brat?”
“Y-Yn-”
“I did not give you permission to act like a spoiled little brat. Do you wanna cum? Do you wanna feel good? Only I get to decide. This cock is mine. You cum when I tell you.”
“Oh…oh fuck fuck fuck-”
I look down at Azriel’s dick, a sloppy, leaking mess. His cum runs down the side of himself, down the inside of his thigh. His eyes are screwed shut and he babbles like an idiot. Shock and utter disbelief slams into me.
“You are so pathetic Az,” I shake my head. “Couldn’t wait for me to tell you when? That desperate? Such a fucking slut. A dumb, pussy drunk slut.”
“I’m sorry,” he apologized, though his eyes didn’t convey it.
“Oh, I bet you are. Well, you’re gonna be really fucking sorry after I’m done with you. No more playing until I find a suitable punishment for your actions.”
His eyes widened in horror. “No playing? As in… no sex? At all?”
“You need to learn what self control means, Az,” I brush the hair out of his eyes, putting a sickly sweet smile on my lips. “Until you can understand how to obey me, you get nothing. No touches, no kisses, no getting off in the shower.”
I watch him swallow. “H-How did you know I was-”
“I know everything you do when it comes to your pleasure, Az. You thought you could hide it from me? You think you’re so clever? Oh Az, you’re even more pathetic than I thought you were. Don’t worry, I’ll make it all worth it in the end. But just know, you won’t be getting off easy. You’ll get punished for this, as well as finishing the punishment you were already taking. And I can’t forget about all the times you got off without me.”
“Yn I was just-”
“I don’t wanna hear your fucking excuses,” I yell, gripping his jaw so his eyes locked on me. So I know he’s gonna hear what I have to say. “Here are the rules: you are not allowed to touch me. You are not allowed to kiss me. You are not allowed to touch yourself. Are. We. Clear?”
I revel in the way his face falls. True, raw sadness seeping into his beautiful hazel eyes.
Azriel nods weakly. I tighten my grip on his chin as well as thread my fingers through his hair. I yank. Hard. “Yes yes yes we’re clear.”
“Good boy.”
~~~~~
Azriel was losing his mind. I can tell by the way he sits. By the way he stands. It is killing him inside not to touch me. I made him start sleeping in a different bed just to add insult to injury. On day four, both Rhys and Cassian had to ask me what was up with him. They had never seen him so distracted during one of their training sessions.
My reply was simple: Azriel knew better, and he got what he deserved.
By the end of week one he started to follow me around like a lost pet. He clung to my side, staying just in my peripherals. Those wicked shadows grew tense. Every once in a while I would watch him get undressed, watching as he had to force himself to not touch. It seemed like he was always rock hard too. Every time I looked, he was ready to go.
I was talking with Mor earlier in the day about Az’s… situation, and she suggested I try a different approach to the punishment. Truly test his determination and ability to not fold under pressure. Surely our courts Spymaster will be able to handle a little bit of torture, won’t he?
Simply because I cannot be that cruel, I give him one of his privileges back. He’s allowed to kiss me again, but he’s not allowed to touch me. I know it will be extra brutal considering just how much he loves to play with my hair or grab my ass while making out.
He’s still not allowed to sleep in our bed, and he’s still not allowed to touch himself. Unless I give him explicit permission. I know he hasn’t cheated, otherwise I would’ve felt it down the bond. There’s no way for him to hide his pleasure from me.
Mor, Cassian, Feyre, Rhys, Az and I are heading out to Rita’s tonight. They are having live musicians and Mor made a huge effort to make sure the crowd would be good. Whatever that means. We all head to our respective rooms and homes to get ready, and I start to make good on my plan.
“Az, my love, can you come help me?” I call from the bedroom.
My shadow emerges from the bathroom, Illyrian armor giving off its natural sheene. “Yes?”
I have my backside facing him, completely naked. I make a show of bending over and grabbing my two dress options off of the bed. “Which one do you think will go better? Mor is wearing red and Feyre is wearing black.”
One dress was made of what looked like crushed emeralds. It was glittery and shiny and the most beautiful shade of deep forest green. The other was midnight blue to match Azriels siphons.
I already know which one he’s gonna pick, but I just wanna see him fight the urge to touch me.
He swallows, eyes far from the dress as they settle on my chest… on my stomach… down my thighs. Fuck, those eyes of his do things to me I never thought possible. I clear my throat, and he snaps his eyes to me. “T-The blue one.”
“Hmm, thought so,” I smiled, turning around to put the green one back in the closet. I unzip the back, stepping into it. I can feel his eyes track my every movement. It’s like he's never seen me before and he’s worried I’ll disappear on him. My best guess is he’s savoring what he’s been given because he doesn’t know when he’ll have me next.
My arms reach around and over my shoulder, trying to get the zipper. It’s so tiny and slippery.
“May I?” Azriel asks quietly.
I look over my shoulder at my poor boy. Gods he looks so distraught. And there's more than a tent in his armored pants. A wild grin spreads across my face. “No, you may not.”
Az lets out a whimper.
“You did this to yourself, Az,” I remind the Shadowsinger.
“Please, Yn,” he pleads, coming to stand right behind me. Warmth and need flow down the bond between us. “I’m sorry for being bad. I should’ve listened to you, I shouldn’t have been so selfish.”
A confession? Awww, so sweet. How dumb does he think I am? “I accept your apology.”
The light shines in his eyes as he picks up his head. “Really?”
“Yes, my love,” I nod, fixing a bit of his hair in the front. Azriel’s eyes close and he tries to lean into the touch. I rip my hand away before he can feel my skin. “But that doesn’t mean you’re forgiven.”
His eyes fly open. “W-What?”
“You heard me,” I narrowed my eyes, standing almost chest to chest with him. “You didn’t listen to me, so I will not hear your desperate, whining pleas. You did this to yourself, sweetie. This is a part of your punishment, you’ll be done suffering when I say so.”
“Yn this is cruel.”
An idea flickered to life in my head. “Would you like to see cruel?”
Eyes widening, Azriel’s face drained of color. “No no wait–”
“On the bed.”
“Wait Yn I didn’t–”
“On. The. Bed. Make me ask again and I’ll bring out the cuff and make you wear it all night at Rita’s.”
He was quick to sit on the bed. I knelt in front of him. I ripped down his armor and took him into my mouth, the familiar taste of him welcoming me. Azriel groaned, but he did a good job at keeping his hands to himself.
He shivered with every touch, ever passing of my tongue over his sensitive skin. I almost felt bad for what I was about to do. He’ll understand once it’s all said and done. Why he shouldn't ever disobey me again.
“Wanna see how cruel I can be Az?” Already fucked out, he shook his head, his hair falling in front of his face as it lulls towards his chest. “For every letter of that word, I’m gonna bring you right to the edge, and then let you come all the way down. I’m gonna give the meaning of cruel a new definition tonight.”
“No… no Yn please let me cum,” Azriel begs.
I laughed, loud and giggly right in his face. “Aww Az, I know you’re gonna be such a good boy and take your punishment so well, aren’t you baby? Yes, that’s it, give in to me. You know you need it, don’t fight it, just let me ruin you.”
~~~~~
By the time we made it to Rita’s, an hour had passed. The others were wondering what the delay was, but they took one look, one scent of the air and didn’t ask another question for the rest of the night. Azriel didn’t move from our table and didn’t take a single sip of his drink. He, genuinely, sat and watched the ice melt.
“Yn Yn Yn,” Feyre calls, dragging me off the dance floor to the bar. “Don’t you think it’s fucking with Az a little too much?”
“Pff,” I snort, “If you saw the things he does to me you’d think I was being generous.”
“I’m just saying he’s your mate. It goes against every instinct in his body to not touch you or be near you. Are you sure he’s… okay?”
“Yes,” I nodded confidently. “We had a lengthy conversation before it began, and he was up for the challenge. He told me if he couldn’t stand it anymore, he’d tell me. And I’d listen. I’d be able to feel it if he was genuinely, whole-heartedly being compromised by the game.”
“So how does he feel then?” My High Lady asks, a smile curving onto her lips.
I look back at my mate, finding his eyes already glued to my back. I just give a little wave of his fingers. He downs his drink in one gulp. “I’d say he’s feeling pretty guilty for what he did. But, at the same time, he’s never felt so satisfied in his whole life.”
~~~~~
By the end of week two, everyone is just as surprised as I am at how long this is going on. Az stopped caring about who knew, openly complaining about how needy he was. He was definitely gaining a bit of an attitude. I think he needs a bit of correction.
I strolled into the common room of the Town House and found my family sitting around. They had cards on the table and glasses of wine spread about. Amren currently had the biggest stack of chips in front of her. Rhys, Cass, Mor and Az all had close to none.
“Sorry,” Amren grinned. “But that makes a full house.”
As she fanned the cards on the table, everyone else groaned, sacrificing their chips to Amren. “How do you manage to win every time?”
“Because she cheats,” Mor pouted, crossing her arms over the pillow in her lap.
“Please, you and I both know that Cassian is the one who cheats.”
“I am not!” The Illyrian counters, slamming his fist down on the table. It rattled Amren's stacks, a few sliding over. Everyone around gave him a look. “Okay maybe here and there-”
“I’ve been telling you for years,” Az joined in. “Cass has been secretly stealing chips from my piles when we play. And none of you have ever believed me.”
“That’s because you’ve grown soft in your old age,” Rhys grinned, making Mor snicker. “Speaking of old age, I’m getting pretty tired of you moping around. Feels like it’s been an eternity. When is- oh! Yn, perfect timing. When are you gonna be nice and dick down Azriel?”
Amren just rolled her eyes, but Cassian and Mor cackled to the heavens.
I came and sat beside Mor on the rug, leaning into her side. “I’m not sure. Az, when are you gonna stop being a brat so I can give you what you’ve earned?”
The temperature in the room dropped significantly. A new tinge of red splattered Azriel’s cheeks. Clearly he wasn’t expecting me to be so bold with my answer.
“Have I not been good?”
“You’ve been complaining,” I said. “Not necessarily the good behavior I’ve been looking for. Oh well, maybe we can try again next week.”
A collective groan came from everyone besides Azriel. “Wait, seriously?”
Oh, now we’re talking through the bond?
“Yes, seriously.”
He sighed. “Yn this is–”
“Just know torture has far more letters than cruel, darling. We know what happened last time.”
I sent my mate images of him sprawled on the bed, body flush with need. His legs were spread open by my hands as I brought him to the edge five times over, but never let him release. By the third, I think he stopped feeling it all together. He was too sensitive and too desperate. He was whining and drooling like a mutt in heat. He was slick with sweat, thighs shaking as I used my mouth and hand at the same time.
Azriel’s eyes shot away from me as the memory faded.
“Are you sure you wanna test my patience again?”
“No…”
“That’s what I thought.”
“This is getting to be too much.”
“You’ll take as much as I say you will. Got it?”
Azriel still refused to look at me, so I ever so ‘gently’ sent some impulses down his body. He jolted, rising to his feet immediately. “That was not funny.”
“I never said I was trying to be funny.”
“Will you two take your lover quarrel elsewhere? It’s starting to stink in here,” Mor pinched her nose for dramatic effect, Cassian joining in.
I grinned at Az, “Gladly. Az, let’s go.”
“But we just started a new–”
“It wasn’t a suggestion,” I say, narrowing my eyes and making my way to the door.
He huffed, but grabbed his armored coat and followed behind me. “You’re being exceptionally demanding.”
I whirled around on my foot, Az slamming into my chest. “Wanna say that again?”
His mouth slammed shut as he took a step back. I didn’t miss the way his hands shot out to try to clamp onto me. His shoulders tensed and his heart started racing. It was like thunder in my ears, as strong as my own pulse down the bond.
“Do you think I’m above putting you on your knees and making them watch in that living room?”
The way his eyes widened would’ve made me laugh under any other circumstance. His body was rigid. He looked so small despite being a head and a half taller than me.
“What do you say I make them watch as I give you a suitable punishment for your behavior in there. Do you think they’d like the show? Watching you turn into a whining, shivering, pathetic boy? Aww I bet you’d like it too. Having all the attention as I tell them about how you came when you weren’t supposed to. How you’ve been so rude and inconsiderate when it comes to the pleasure only I get to give you. Or maybe I make them punish you. They all get a turn to make you bend to their needs. I know you’d like that, you can’t even deny it. You’re so worked up by just my words. I haven’t even touched you.”
Az just stands there, stunned, arms slack at his side. His mouth gapes open to speak, but he never does.
“Gods Azriel you are such a slut for me. You can’t even contain yourself anymore. Two weeks without my hands on your body and you’re falling apart. Pathetic. You’re so fucking pathetic Azriel. Maybe I will give you a new punishment. If you wanna cum so badly, maybe I do just that. Make you cum until nothing comes out. Drain you of every last drop so you can stop being so desperate.”
“Please…” He begs. One knee at a time, he falls to the ground, eyes wide. “Gods Yn I’d take anything you’d give me. Just please touch me. I-I need it so bad. I miss your touch, I miss your tongue and your hands and your pussy so much. I need it. I’ve never needed something so bad in my life.”
He’s breaking down. This is perfect. He’s just on the edge of incoherent and exactly where I want him when I give him his actual punishment. This has all been built up to the grand finale. To have tension so when I give him the final one, he cracks like an egg in the palm of my hand. He won’t be able to resist obeying me.
I just giggle at him, turning over my shoulder, and open up the door. “Let's go.”
He doesn’t hesitate to follow a second time.
~~~~~
“Azzzrieeeel,” I called, wondering where he went off to. It’s the end of week three and I decided he’s had enough. I’m just too excited to watch him fall apart at my hands. He disappeared a little while ago.
I can’t hear or see him, but I know he’s in his room. The tap is running in the bathroom, muffling the sounds. I sit patiently on the bed.
Az has been good after our talk. He has retreated back to his quiet, broody self. No longer complaining about how viscous I am. I could’ve made true on my threat about bending him over in front of them, but I decided to spare him.
He should be so grateful.
The door clicked open and Az jumped back at the sight of me on the bed. I just had a silk robe on. One he bought for me. It was black, but in the right light, it shifted to blue. This electric, start ridden blue that he loved to take off of me. This is not the first copy of this garment I’ve had.
“Hi,” he said, voice low and thick.
“Hi, pretty boy,” I said, watching the shiver go down his body. His cock started to swell immediately. I just smiled. “Are you ready for your punishment?”
Without hesitation, “Yes.”
“Just remember your privileges. Unless I give you permission, you’re not allowed. Understand?”
“I haven’t forgotten,” he smiles, stepping closer and closer.
“Hmm,” I hum, “But you might. On the bed.”
Azriel ditches the towel that was hung low on his hips, cock hard and waiting for me.
“So hard already, what a good boy. Knowing exactly what I want.”
I crawl on my knees to where he’s sat and swing them over his thighs. His hands clench the bed cover, desperately trying to keep control of his touch. I slide up just enough that the tip of his cock is rubbing between my thighs. His eyes shut and he inhales deep.
“Be good.”
“I’m…” his whole body is vibrating. “I’m trying so fucking hard. I wanna be good. Wanna be your good boy tonight.”
I laugh softly, taking his chin in my hand. His eyes are dilated, lips are swollen from him chewing on them to resist giving in. “You are being such a good boy Azzie, keep your hands juuuust like that and this’ll be over soon enough.”
He’s gonna wish that were true.
I slide back and forth, grinding on him to relieve my own pressure that’s built up. Counterintuitively, I’ve also placed myself on a sex ban. And it has not been easy. I’m pent up and desperate in my own way for the feeling of his length inside me.
Azriel begins to squirm and I have to remind him to be still. He immediately obeys, fists continuing to strangle this poor bed cover. I slide the rest of the way over his dick, relishing in the way his body relaxes.
“Does that feel good, baby? Did you miss my pussy so much?”
“Yes…” He sighs, eyes lulling shut. With every roll of my hips, a new sound comes out of him. Each one more breathy than the last. “Fuck… t-thank you, Yn.”
“Aww, already turning up the charm are we? I think you’ve earned a little reward.” I lean forward and gently kiss his lips, just barely touching the surface of his skin. He doesn’t lean in, he doesn’t chase, he sits there patiently like the good boy I know he can be.
I push on my knees and rise up, settling all the way down on his length. Over and over I bounce in his lap, content at the feeling of him hitting all my spots. I gently kiss him, running my tongue over his bottom lip. I’m met with a heady moan, Azriel’s shoulders relaxing down.
Time to turn up the heat.
“Azriel,” I pant against his lips.
“Yes, my lady?” He breathes, pupils dilated, breath hot against my own.
I grin at him. “You’re not allowed to kiss me anymore.”
I watch his eyes fall, I can feel the disappointment down the bond. “Okay.”
“No kissing, no touching,” I reminded him.
“No kissing…” I trail my tongue up his neck, biting down on his ear. “N-No touching.”
Az says it twice more, like a long forgotten prayer. An ancient mantra of self control. He’d need it for my next plan.
I spend the next little while taking him fully, up and down and up and down. Cascading my nails down his shoulders and arms, my lips over his neck and chest. He is a whining, uncontrollable mess. The veins in his forearms are swollen with adrenaline, full from his death grip on the sheets.
Shadows swirl around our bodies, the fog like caress cooling my skin with every touch.
I push him flat on the bed, using my hands on his chest as more leverage. I work myself on him, relishing in the strength he’s showing. The shere restraint he has. The discipline. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he’s learned his lesson.
But I did know better. And I can’t wait to break him.
I reach down and rub my clit gently. The stretch of his cock buried deep in me adds the extra stimulation I need. I’m so sensitive. After three weeks of no action, which I know is my fault, I’m right on the edge.
“You wanna make me cum, Azriel?”
“F-Fuck yes, Yn, please,” Az begs. “I wanna make you cum so bad. You deserve it.”
“Mmm,” I hum, circling my finger softly. I muster up the most sickly-sweet voice I can. “Such a good boy, Azzie. Get me there, please I need you.”
I watch as he lifts his head, right hand unfurling from his grip on the bed. He reaches across his body, his thumb ready to take over. But just before he touches me where I need him most, he stops, eyes locking with mine.
“Please give me permission,” he begs. His hand is literally trembling.
“Fuck, Az, I need it. Touch me please baby I want you to make me cum.”
“I-I need permission, I can’t touch you,” he begs, eyes going a little stupid.
A wicked, evil look crosses over my features. Time to really mess with him. “But I need it Az. I need you to make me cum. F-Fuck I need you Azriel please make me cum.”
“Just give me permission baby and I’ll bring the stars down for you,” he promises. Going back to fisting the sheets in his fingers. “F-Fuck Yn please give me permission. I’ve been such a good boy, let me prove how good I can be just give me-”
I hopped off his lap, not missing the guttural noise that came from him. I walked over to the dresser against the wall and took out the bundle of rope I hid a few days ago. I’m not entirely sure how he didn’t find it. I had it specially made for this night a few days ago.
Azriel is going to hate it.
I unwind it, stretching it between my arms. I come back to the edge of the bed and curl my finger at him, beckoning him to sit upright. He rises up and scoots closer to me. I take a second to just look at my Shadowsinger. His chest is flushed, those whirling, bargain tattoos moving with each breath. His hair is a tousled mess, going this way and that. His lips are pink and swollen, just like his tip. I bend forward, gently running my tongue over his slit.
“F-Fuck,” he stammers out. “What are you going to do to me?”
“Stand up. Turn around. Arms behind your back.”
I see the conflict in his eyes, feel his hesitation down the bond. “You want to tie me up?”
“Oh Az,” I smiled sweetly, coming to stand in between his knees. I reached down, gripping him tightly in my palm. He hissed, entire body tensing up. “I’m going to do far worse things than tie you up. Now be a good boy and give me your hands.”
Eagerly, he stood up, putting his back to me. His hands neatly folded together, fingers interlaced. I trailed the end of the rope down the center of his back, over the crest of his wings. I loved the way his body rippled, loved the way his muscles twitched and his skin crawled with need.
“You’ve been such a good boy,” I praised as I began to try the magic-hilted rope around his wrists. “My good boy, taking your punishment so well these last couple weeks. I know you loved it as much as I did, knowing it would be worth it for when I gave you your reward.”
“Anything to make you happy,” he breathed out, head lulling back when I gave them a firm tug. I opened that bond and let him see himself through my eyes. I could feel the way his body reacted. Every cell in his body rolled with this animalistic desire. This primal need to release.
“Sit,” I order, pushing down on his shoulder until he sits on the edge of the bed. I crawl into his lap, guiding him deep inside me. A content sigh leaves my lips at the feeling of our bodies being reunited. “Az?”
His eyes roll shut when I move my hips back and forth. “Y-Yes?”
“You can touch me now, I give you permission.”
Two things happened. I watched the relief flood his body, feeling it as if it was my own. I watched his face and shoulders relax. Then, I watched him try to move his arms. And a sick, twisted, ruthless grin curled my lips.
Watching him struggle, knowing it would be useless, was a different type of arousal. The fibers of muscles in his shoulders strained, veins bulging down his arms and up his neck as he struggled.
“Wh-What the fuck are these ropes?” He grunted, pulling and pulling to no avail.
“I had them warded by a sorcerous in town,” I smiled, brushing the hair out of his eyes. “Specially crafted so that only I can undo them.”
“You…” he cried out, struggling against them one last time before grunting out a breath. “You are ruthless.”
“Yup,” I agreed, gripping his midnight black locks as hard as I could. “And you fucking love it. Wanna play a game, baby?”
“I wanna touch you, that's what I wanna do. Please undo the ropes, my love. Please,” Azriel begs.
“Uh uh uh,” I shake my head, swiveling my hips, adoring the way he moans. “I’m not done with you yet. I’m gonna stay right here, doing whatever I fucking please to you, and you’re going to keep trying to break the ropes. You have all your privileges back, you can touch me, you can kiss me. But you are not allowed to cum. Understand?”
“Yn please baby, I-I just wanna worship you, just untie me and I can make you cum as many times as–”
“Understand?” I raised my eyebrows, flatting him on the bed with both my hands on his chest.
“Y-Yes,” he breathes out, eyes trained on the ceiling. I let up, releasing him from his pinned position, and he shot up, lips trailing all over my skin. Like my body was his first breath of air, he drank me in as fast as he could. I felt him throb inside me, tiny, pathetic whimpers spilling out of his lips.
“Aww you wanna touch me so bad don’t you? Fuck me on your cock, hmm?” I teased, my own touches light against his shimmering skin.
“Fuck Yn I want it so bad,” he bucked up his hips.
“Just give in, Azriel,” I taunted, matching his thrusts. “Beg me to untie your hands so you can finally touch what's yours.”
He shook his head, gasping for a breath when I reached behind me and cupped him in my hands. “No? You don’t wanna touch me? Grab my hips as you fuck me hard and fast? Don’t wanna taste my pussy? You sure?”
“Oh fuck Yn,” he grit his teeth. I could feel the muscles in his thighs quiver.
“Don’t cum yet, I haven’t given you permission,” I whispered in his ear, relishing the way he tried to run from me. “Aww, what? You can’t handle it? You’ll be done taking your punishment when I say so. You were such a bad boy, Azriel. You know I have to make sure you won’t ever do it again. Now be a good boy and break the ropes, touch me. I need you to touch me so so badly. You don’t wanna disobey me again do you?”
“No no no just let me–”
“Come onnn,” I purr, tilting my head and lowering my voice. “Be my good good boy, Azriel. Break the ropes for me. I know you need me sooo bad. Just be my good little boy and make me happy.”
“But I c-can’t I need you to untie them,” he huffed, arms bulging behind his back.
I took a good look at him, at his flushed chest and the veins running the length of his biceps. Fuck he looked…
I clenched tight around him, shivering when I heard him cry out.
“Aww what’s wrong baby?” I cooed, cupping his face gently in my palms.
“I wanna fill you up so bad, Yn,” he cried out, chest heaving for air. “Please let me cum, I wanna cum so bad I need to cum–”
“Not yet, pretty boy,” I denied, and Azriel groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Not until you get out of the binds.”
“But I can’t!” He croaked. “I can’t I can’t I can’t”
“Oh but you’re going to,” I gripped his chin, forcing his eyes to mine. Cauldron above he looked drunk off of me. “Or you can give in, admit defeat and I’ll untie them for you. Come on sweetness, give in.”
I began to bounce up and down on his cock, going all the way up and all the way down. I felt the convulsion run through his entire body. Every time I came down on him, he let out these little noises. Whimpers and soft frustrated groans of pure torture.
“Don’t you wanna make me cum?” I circled my clit, shivering out a breath. “Don’t you want to be the one to make me cum all over your cock? Please baby, make me cum all over you.”
He let out a string of curses, trying to gain some leverage to fuck into me. “Please please please please please.”
“Use your big boy words, Azzie, what do you want?”
“Oh fuck fuck fuck, Yn. Yn… Yn please oh gods Yn please please–”
“You wanna cum, huh?” He nodded, complete fucked out and gone.
“So fucking bad Yn I need it. I’ve been such a good boy for you. I’m sorry for disobeying you. I’m sorry for talking back and being difficult. Just please let me cum I wanna be such a good boy and do it just for you. Fill you up so much, watch it spill out of you. Please let me cum please Yn I can’t hold it back any more please fuck–”
“You want me to stop?” He shook his head rapidly. “I haven’t given you permission to cum, baby. Don’t cum. Do you want me to stop?”
“No no no I wanna cum–”
“I don’t care if you wanna cum,” I grinned, fuccking him harder. “Your job is to please me, and I won’t be pleased if you don’t follow my orders, remember how you got here in the first place. Tell. Me. To. Stop. A good boy would tell his lady to stop.”
He heaved for a breath, gulping air down, a useless mess of moans and pleasure sounds. “S-S-Stop.”
I halted my hips, brushing his hair away from his face as I kissed up and down his neck. “Good boy, Azriel. Such a good boy for me, yes.”
I reached around and undid the one knot holding the binds in place. They fell off his wrists and he sobbed in relief, a few tears streaking down his face. A few landed on my chest.
“Lick them up,” I ordered.
Without a second thought, he licked his tears off my chest. I massaged his shoulders and slowly, so slowly, his hands came to cup my ass. His hands were vibrating with energy. He watched with bated breath to see how I’d react.
“My good boy,” I praised, kissing his cheek. “You wanna make me cum?”
“Please.”
“Get to it then,” I smiled, kissing his lips fiercely. For a moment, he forgot the task at hand, falling deep into the reunification of our lips.
I was on my hands and knees the next second. I had to brace one hand on the headboard so he would plow me through it completely. Using his wings for leverage, gusts of wind sending goosebumps across my skin, he fucked into me as hard as he could.
“F-Fuck Az– you feel so good,” I said.
“Cum on my cock, my love,” he insisted, and who was I to deny him.
Just like he promised, stars lined my vision. I came hard enough to more or less paralyze my entire body. I slumped on my chest, content to let him do whatever he wanted. He had served his punishment well enough.
I rocked with his body as he fucked into me. He was so fucking deep.
“Y-Yn please–”
“Cum, Azriel.”
As if my very word granted his body, Azriel thrusted twice before going still, wings pumping behind him. I felt every inch of him inside me, every throb and pulse of his release. I could feel it seep down the inside of my thigh.
He pulled out quickly, collapsing on the bed. I looked over my shoulder to make sure he was okay, still seeing his chest rising and falling.
On shaky, stiff legs, I crawled over to him, placing my hand on his chest. “You were such a good boy. My good good boy, Azriel.”
He gave a limp thumbs up. I chuckled.
“You okay?” I asked, kissing some of the marks I left on his bronze skin.
“Mhmm,” he nodded, voice a little garbled.
“I’ll go start a bath, then we can relax and soak for a while, sound good?”
“Yes please,” he nodded, nuzzling his body into mine as best he could. “Thank you.”
“Of course, baby. Thank you for being a good boy for me.”
"Wait, Yn," he grabbed my hand, pulling me back when Is tood up to go to the washroom.
"Yes baby?" I asked.
"I love you," he smiled.
"I love you, my shadow."
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar fanfic#azriel#azriel shadowsinger#acotar smut#azriel fanfic#azriel x reader#azriel smut#azriel acotar#smut#azriel spymaster#azriel imagine#azriel x you
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♡ I knew it, I know you - FC 43 ♡
Based off the song: I knew it, I know you by Gracie Abrams
Summary: You and Franco dated but when things took a turn with your career, your world got turned upside down.
Author's note: i was told i should add additional parts to this plot so lmk if that's something you guys would like to see <3
WC: 3309
CW: fights, brief mention of a car crash, a bit of angst i think
You swore to god, you hadn’t thought of him in ages. But there he was, plastered all over social media as a driver for Williams for the remainder of the season in F1. The man who absolutely destroyed you. But you had also destroyed him. You had destroyed each other towards the end of your relationship.
You and Franco dated back when the two of you were in F2 and F3. The two of you had hit it off almost instantly, already so drawn to each other. You weren’t gonna lie, the two of you almost weren’t a thing. You are terrible at not only initiating, but also keeping conversations going. But the fact that Franco was so bold and carefree, he was able to stick with you till you opened up out of your shell, which was truly insane to you. And you’re grateful for him and everything he has done for you, no matter what went down all that time ago.
The two of you were always there for eachother, whether one was winning races or not. You would always scream the loudest when he won. Every single time he was on the podium, you’d be so incredibly proud of him, standing there watching in awe, tears streaming down your face. You’d never met someone so perfect.
He was so different from anyone you’d ever met. He was valiant, hilarious, strong, and so beautiful, on the inside and out. He knew you’d often struggled with your mental health and maintaining relationships, whether platonic or romantic. But he stayed, he actually stayed, through all your faults. He loved you anyway. He was the best thing that ever was yours.
But now it’s like he’s on another planet, you wonder how the weather is there.
While you were proud of him for making it to F1, you still couldn’t help but feel a bit of annoyance. The two of you would often talk about the future together. The plan was always to work your asses off and make it to F1 together. He was gonna be the first Argentinian driver in ages, and you were gonna be the first woman in ages to drive in F1. During this time, you guys were gonna save money and buy your dream home together. He’d always wanted a big patio where you two could do barbeques together, where he could bring his family. He also wanted a pool where everyone could enjoy their time together, away from the cameras and chaos.
But now those dreams are just that. Dreams.
The breakup wasn’t necessarily mutual or on good terms. Franco initially wanted to work things out and talk but you didn’t think it’d fix anything. Things were already getting rocky as your racing career was coming to an end. After a bad accident all those years ago, you weren’t able to get back in the car. And for that, you were so angry. Racing was all you could do, you didn’t have a backup plan. Your anger got the best of you and you were taking it out on those around you. Franco got the worst of it though wanting to do his best to help you, but all it did was make you feel pitied.
Things just kept spiraling from there, til you officially ended things with him.
It was the night after the F2 race in Monaco. You had been there the whole weekend, cheering on all your friends. You were making your way to see Franco but you were stopped by a journalist. You weren’t really in the mood to speak to a stranger but you decided it wouldn’t do any harm to stop for a minute or two.
The journalist was a young man, about your age and a bit taller than you.
“Hello, thanks for taking a moment to speak with me.”
You simply smile at him, still not feeling all that sociallike.
“I just wanted to ask you a few questions, if that’s alright.”“Sure. Hit me.”
“My first question is, how does it feel to have had to drop out of racing due to your crash back in Australia?”“Oh well, you know, it didn’t feel great. I’m super disappointed in my performance from that day and of course not being able to race again has been a big struggle. I miss it a lot, but there’s nothing I can do now besides keep going. I’m still gonna come to some of the races and cheer on and support my friends.”
“Amazing. Now, how does it feel to know you won’t be the next woman in Formula 1? To know that you’ve essentially let down so many women, young and old, with you leaving the sport?”
You were honestly baffled by that question. Why the fuck would he ask that? Who in their right mind asks that?
You seriously had no words, so you simply nodded your head and walked away.
When you reached Franco, he could practically smell the rage emanating from you.
“Amor, what’s wrong?” going to touch your arm, before you quickly pull away.
“Nothing. Let’s go.”
Your shortness with him wasn’t new at this point, so he stayed quiet till you guys reached your flat.
Once you guys had walked in, he was quick to ask what happened at the track that led you to be stomping around with smoke coming out your ears. You told him everything that happened with the journalist, and he was nothing but sorry that something like that had happened to you. He knew how hard your transition was into a life without racing.
“Baby, I know things are hard right now, but we can figure it out. This isn’t the end.” Franco tried to reason with you. But all you could see was red, feeling an intense pressure and heat in your chest.
“You don’t even get it. My career is over, everything I’ve worked towards is gone. I have nothing left.”
Your words hit Franco, like a knife. You had nothing left? What about him?
“There are so many things you can do. We’ll find something that works for you. Stop being negative and actually try.”
“Fuck you. I am trying, you don’t understand how hard this is. Everything’s working for you. Your life is perfect and amazing. Stop pitying me. I’m not a child.”
Somewhere in the chaos in your mind, you had lost all sense of where you were and who you were talking to. All you knew was that you were screaming everything you felt.
Your mind was racing, you weren’t making total sense.
After the race today and having dealt with you these past few months, he was tired. He wasn’t gonna coddle you and go easy on you anymore.
“Well you’re sure acting like one. You need to grow up. Shit happens and you have to deal with it. Not everything will work out in life, you just have to deal with it.”
“Easy for you to say. Your life is perfect and you have everything you want.”
“If I had everything I wanted, then I wouldn’t have a girlfriend who’s giving up. I’d have a better girlfriend.”
What? Did he really just say that? I hate when we fight, sucks when we fight.
“I can’t pretend I’m sorry, when I’m not sorry. All I’ve ever done was my best when it comes to you and us. Unfortunately your girlfriend is awful.”
You looked him in the eye one final time, “Get out. We’re done.”
“That’s it? You’re gonna give up so easily?” he lets out a huff, “Typical of you to give up, again. Let me know when you’ve grown up.”
With the slamming of the door, he was gone. That was the last time you saw him.
After a few days of radio silence from you, Franco felt abandoned. He’d already felt lost when you told him to leave, the second the door slammed closed, he almost went back in through the door to fix everything. It felt as if you didn’t care about his feelings, like he’d been cut a thousand times. Franco actually struggled to keep it together. He didn’t realize how much he needed you in his life. He didn’t realize how he depended on you, on your support, your touch and how it kept him sane and stable when everything around him was just pure chaos.
It was hard for him to race after that day. And words could never describe how his heart hurt when he got called up to F1, when he got a seat. He immediately thought of you, he was living your dream after all - he couldn’t even share the experience with you, you weren’t by his side anymore. You were gone.
Until now.
Since that day, you have been working on yourself. You were in therapy now and continuing school to become an engineer. You thought, maybe since you can’t be in the car, you could work around it or with it. Things had been looking better. You started to surround yourself with love and support from your friends and family.
You were on a work trip in Texas, helping a company work on a new up and coming project that could be innovative, when you got a call from an old friend. Oscar had seen through social media that you were in Texas, and invited you to see the race at COTA. When he initially offered the invitation, you almost didn’t go since you didn’t think it’d be a good idea, considering how you and Franco had left off. But it had been years, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. You would be able to go and support the rookies and maybe make up with Franco.
It’s not like you didn’t feel love for him anymore. Maybe you two could work things out and get back to where you were. So you told Oscar you’d be at COTA.
“That’s great! I’m so glad you’ll be able to make it. It’s been so long and I’m sure Lily would love to see you too.” “Omg, I’m so excited to see her again! I’ve missed her so much.” “Yeah. So, I’m sure you’ve heard. Franco is driving for Williams for the rest of the season, so he’ll be at COTA. Will you guys be able to keep it civil if you run into each other?”
“I can. I’ve lived a lot and I’ve let the rain in since everything. It’s just a matter of how he’ll react.” “I’m not gonna lie, I think he’s been waiting for an apology from you. Er, at least he did for a while.” “Yeah, he deserves one from me. I was pretty shitty to him, I know that now.”
“I’m glad you were able to sort everything out on your end, hopefully you two can be friendly again.” “Maybe. I gotta go, Osc. Talk soon.”
“Talk soon.”
The amount of various feelings flowing through your body was making you physically shake. You were excited, nervous, happy, and everything mixed into one.
You pull up Franco’s contact, thinking it’d be better to reach out and arrange a meeting rather than bombarding him at the track.
You must have typed and deleted about 50 messages before settling on a simple “hey”
Franco didn’t expect to see your name show up on his screen. He chuckled bitterly at the irony of life, bringing you back onto his path after being the one to send him away. He doesn’t even know how he feels about you anymore.
“Hey” he replied
“How are you?”
“I’m okay. You?”
“I’m okay”
Three minutes pass, you simply just stare at the screen, not knowing how to proceed. You watch as three dots float on the corner of your screen.
“What do you want?”
Damn, harsh much?
“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up sometime this weekend? Oscar invited me to watch the race and I thought maybe we could talk. I think I’ve calmed down since the last time we spoke.”
“Sure. I don't know when exactly I’ll be available but I can text you closer to the weekend”
“That sounds good. Thanks for being cool about this.”
“No problem, see you soon.”
He was quick to cut the conversation. Maybe he's just busy. You decide to put your phone away and focus on some work stuff.
The weekend comes around quickly and you find yourself wandering around the paddock alone. You weren’t able to make it Friday, but at least you’re here for qualifying. You managed to get a few minutes with Oscar and Lando, catching up a bit before they had to get ready for qualis. You made your way to where you were gonna watch the race, texting Franco at the same time.
He was letting you know he’ll be able to meet up with you after the race today. You were so incredibly nervous because you wanted things to work out between the two of you. You missed him. He was your best friend, and you guess that was the worst part of losing him. If he just said when, you’d play again because you felt more in brief moments with him, than with anyone else.
You sat down and watched the qualifiers, screaming and cheering everytime one of your boys passed someone or did something impressive. You didn’t realize how much you’d missed this. Watching and cheering on your friends from the sidelines. It felt good to watch them achieve their dreams, even if you couldn’t reach yours. Franco ended up in P6, which was impressive considering he’s only raced a few times in an F1 car, and he’s in a Williams car.
After about 20 minutes, Franco texted you, letting you know to meet him in his driver's room. You made your way to his room after getting lost for about 8 minutes, when someone eventually felt bad for you and pointed you in the right direction.
You walked up the steps to his room, standing there for a minute, nervous about seeing him. It’s been about 2 years since you last saw each other. You wonder if he looks any different now. Of course you’d seen his pictures around, but sometimes the cameras don’t catch certain things. Like how his eyes are essentially a kaleidoscope of everything you’ve ever loved, how his nose crinkles a bit at the bridge when he’s happy.
Fuck it, enough stalling. You knock on the door and wait there for a response. After a minute, you don’t hear one so you assume you didn’t knock loud enough. You raise your hand to knock again when the door swings open. When it opens, your eyes quickly find his.
He looks deep in your eyes, trying to find a glimpse of the past in them, a recollection of the memories you shared together, but it’s like you’re not there anymore. Sure, you’re standing right infront of him, but the you that he knew, the one he fell in love with, is missing.
“Hey” he said softly.
“Hey”
You two stood there in silence for a moment, sort of processing that you’re seeing eachother again in person. As if your brains are trying to decipher whether this is real or a hallucination.
The silence breaks when Franco shakes his head and clears his throat,
“Come in.” he says, holding the door open for you.
You walk in, brushing past him.
The room is spacious, quiet, yet suffocating.
You walk to the middle of the room, feeling a bit self-conscious. Turning back to face Franco, you watch as he closes the door and turns his body to you.
“So’’ he says.
“So”
“What did you want to talk about?”
“I wanted to catch up, see how you’re doing. A lot has changed since the last time we saw each other.” you look down, swallowing a gulp before continuing, wringing your hands together, “I also wanted to apologize, for everything. The way I had acted all those years ago, especially towards the end. I wasn’t being fair to you and all you wanted to do was be there for me.”
“It’s fine.” he replies, leaning against a counter, crossing his arms over his chest, not giving you an ounce of emotion.
The burning sensation he feels in his chest now isn’t love anymore - instead it’s a mixture of pain and anger, feeling a riot form in his emotions. He’s wasting time on listening to someone who kicked him to the side without caring about how you had let him down when he needed you the most.
Well, you didn’t know what to expect, but it surely wasn’t that dry and short answer.
“That’s it? I came all this way to come and see you and apologize, and all I get is ‘fine’?!”
“I said ‘it’s fine’ actually.”
Why was he being like this? You get that you fucked up a lot and that you had hurt him, but if this was how he was going to act, you weren’t sure if you wanted to continue this conversation.
“Why did you even agree to talking to me, if this is how you’re gonna act?”
“How am I acting?” “Like you don’t give a fuck. Like you just wanna gloat, see how badly I was doing. You don’t know how to step outside yourself.” “You think so little of me? It’s not my fault you can’t sit with the hard thing.”
“Well when the proof is in the pudding then yeah. Are you even sad about the fact that we don’t talk anymore? That all we had is gone?”
“I’m not the one who ended things, you were. You’re the one who ruined us.”
“I blew all my plans, just to get to talk to you today. I’m trying to fix everything that I broke but you’re not letting me.” “Maybe you aren’t trying enough.” he says as he pushes off the counter and walks towards you, stopping a few inches from you. Close enough that you can feel each other's breathing.
“Not trying enough? Or not enough for you? For your deluded self?”
“I’m not the problem here, especially considering I’m the one driving in F1.”
“I should be the one with this chance, not you! All you have is an inflated ego and your shallow thinking.”
“I was the one who worked my ass off to get here. I’m sorry you couldn’t join me in this like we had planned, but it’s not my fault that things fell this way.”
“I should be in your seat, not you!”
“No, you don’t deserve this seat. I actually put in the work to be here.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? I earned my way through those races. I was one of the best.”
“Keyword: was.”
“You know that crash stopped me from driving. I can’t get back in the car.” “Can’t or won’t”
“Can’t”
“No, you’re just a fucking pussy. You’re too scared to get back in the car cause you know you can’t do it. You can’t amount to anything.You know that even if you get back in the car, you’ll never get a seat in F1.”
You stand there for a beat. You never knew he could be so mean. Maybe you brought it out of him.
It’s all your fault. You’re the problem.
You feel the tears threatening to spill. You take a breath before saying, “I thought you thought of me better, someone you couldn't lose.”
He looks you up and down, lip twitching, “I guess I lied. I had the wrong idea about you.”
An all too familiar sight, his back, as he walks out the door, again, because of you.
You really thought you would get what you wanted. But what did you want?
#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1 fanfic#franco colapinto x reader#franco colapinto x you#franco colapinto imagine#franco colapinto fanfic#franco colapinto angst
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Caitlin Clark X Reader
Love on the Back Nine
You’re sitting at the kitchen table with your phone buzzing in your hand as you scroll through your messages. You’d made plans earlier to hit the mall with a friend but they just canceled at the last minute, leaving you with an empty afternoon. You sigh already silently debating whether to just stay in or come up with something else to do.
Cait has been pacing around the living room, messing with her golf gear when she catches your sigh. She looks over her eyes lighting up as if a lightbulb just went off in her head.
“Plans fall through?” she asks walking over and leaning on the back of the chair across from you.
“Yeah” you reply, setting your phone down. “Guess I’m stuck here now.”
“Stuck here?” Caitlin grins like she’s been waiting for this opening. “Or… you could come golfing with me.”
You laugh, shaking your head. “Not this again.”
“Come on” she says circling the table to stand beside you. “It’s perfect! You’ve got nothing else to do, and I’ve got a tee time. Plus I need a partner.”
You arch a brow at her. “Partner? Or someone to show off for?”
“Baby, I would never show off.” she says, though the twinkle in her eyes suggests otherwise. She leans down..her face close to yours. “I’ll be your personal coach. I’ll teach you everything you need to know. It’ll be fun, just you and me.”
You snort. “You’re gonna be my personal golfer girl?...”
“Yep, that’s what I’m here for!” she says, straightening up. “I’ll start you off slow. Show you how to hold the club, line up your shots by the end of the day, you’ll be killing it.”
You tilt your head, amused. “And if I’m awful?”
She places a hand over her heart, her voice turning sweet. “Then I’ll still love you, even if you’re the worst golfer in history.”
You chuckle and shake your head. “I don’t know…”
“Please, baby?” Caitlin moves behind you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and resting her chin on top of your head. “It’ll be a cute little date. Just us, cruising around in a golf cart soaking up the sun. I’ll even let you pick the music for the ride.”
You glance up at her. “The entire playlist?”
She grimaces but nods. “Even your cringy guilty pleasure songs.”
You bite your lip pretending to reconsider. “Tempting...”
“Fine…what if I throw in ice cream after?” she adds, giving you her best puppy dog eyes. “I’ll even let you pick the place.”
You laugh finally giving in. “Okay baby, but I call driving the golf cart!”
Caitlin beams, pressing a kiss to your cheek before pulling you up from your chair. “Whatever… you’re gonna love it, I promise.”
The drive to the course is filled with Caitlin’s nonstop chatter. She’s clearly hyped, between explaining the different clubs and teasing you about being a great coach. “I bet you’ll nail at least one shot today” she says with a wink. “And when you do, I’ll totally take credit for it.”
You shake your head and laugh. “Sure, Coach Clark.”
When you arrive Cait wastes no time, guiding you through the basics. She hands you a club and positions herself behind you, her hands gently adjusting your grip. “Okay babe, so just relax” she says, her voice low and soothing. “Keep your eye on the ball, and follow through like this.”
You nod letting her guide you for the first few swings. The shots are decent, but nothing impressive. Caitlin cheers you on regardless, offering tips and encouragement with every swing. You can tell she’s enjoying herself, and honestly you’re having fun with her. But then it’s your turn to take a real shot.
You step up lining up your stance and gripping the club just right. You take a deep breath, then swing with confidence. The ball soars through the air landing cleanly on the green.
Caitlin’s jaw drops. “Wait, what?”
You suppress a grin as she rushes over to you. “That was perfect!” she says, wide eyed. “Do it again.”
You shrug pretending it was a fluke, but your next shot is just as good. Caitlin stares at you, clearly in disbelief. “Okay seriously babe….where did this come from?”
You bite your lip, hesitating for a moment before dropping the bomb. “Well… my ex taught me...”
Caitlin freezes her expression shifting from shock to a mix of disgust and mild jealousy. “Your ex?”
You nod, trying not to laugh. “Yeah, they made me go to the driving range almost every other weekend.”
She groans dramatically throwing her head back. “Ew, Y/N! Why would you tell me that?”
“You asked!” you say laughing at her reaction.
“Yeah, but I didn’t expect that answer,” she grumbles crossing her arms. “Now I’m picturing some loser trying to impress you on the course. Gross.”
You grin stepping closer. “Jealous?”
“No” she says quickly, though the slight flush in her cheeks tells a different story. “I just think it’s weird that anyone else ever got to teach you anything. That’s my job.”
You wrap your arms around her waist pulling her close. “Well baby, for what it’s worth…I like being out here with you way more.”
She softens, her pout fading into a smile. “Good. Because you’re stuck with me now and for the record, I’m way cooler than your ex.”
“Oh, way cooler,” you agree leaning in to kiss her.
For the rest of the game Cait makes it her mission to outdo you…though she can’t help but laugh whenever you land another perfect shot. By the end of the day she’s both impressed and annoyed.
“You totally hustled me, darlin..” she says as you load the clubs back into the car.
“Maybe I just wanted to see you sweat a little” you tease grinning.
She wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as you walk. “You’re lucky I love you.”
You lean into her smiling. “And you’re lucky I love you, even when you’re a sore loser.”
She laughs squeezing you tighter against. “Next time I’m bringing my A-game so you better be ready.”
“Oh, I’ll be ready.”
#ncaa wbb#nika muhl#nika muhl x reader#caitlin clark#caitlin clark x reader#paige bueckers x reader#caitlin x reader#wbb x reader#ncaa women’s basketball#paige buckets#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#indiana fever#iowa women’s basketball#iowa wbb#kate martin x reader#kate x reader#wnba x reader#wnba basketball#wbb#caitlin clark smut
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Can I request headcanons for Remy, Wade, and Logan would think about his gender neutral s/o always made sure to tell him that they love him when possible please?
Here's how Remy, Wade, and Logan might react and feel about a gender-neutral S/O who always makes sure to tell them "I love you" whenever possible:
Remy LeBeau (Gambit):
Remy is a charmer by nature, and he's used to giving out sweet words, but hearing "I love you" from you is something that never fails to touch his heart. Every time you say it, he feels a warmth spread through him, like he's just been wrapped in a blanket of affection. Remy knows he has a checkered past, and sometimes, he wonders if he deserves the kind of love you give him so freely. But you always manage to reassure him with those three little words.
He might play it cool on the outside, flashing you that roguish smile of his, but inside, it means the world to him. He’ll always reply with a playful, “Je t'aime aussi, ma chère,” making sure to add a flirtatious wink. But later, when you're both alone, Remy will pull you close, resting his forehead against yours, and tell you in a softer, more serious tone just how much your love means to him. He’s not one to take such things lightly, and he’ll always make sure you know how much he treasures every “I love you” you offer.
Wade Wilson (Deadpool):
Wade is a chaotic whirlwind of emotions, and your constant declarations of love are like a lifeline for him. Underneath his endless jokes and fourth-wall-breaking antics, Wade has a lot of insecurities and trauma. Hearing you say "I love you" so often helps to quiet some of the darker thoughts that occasionally plague him.
Every time you tell Wade you love him, his heart skips a beat. He'll respond in a million different ways, from exaggeratedly swooning, pretending to faint, or suddenly bursting into song about how amazing you are. But sometimes, when he's feeling particularly vulnerable, Wade will drop the act for a moment, his voice dropping to a soft, almost disbelieving tone as he says, "You really mean that, huh?"
He might joke around a lot, but your love is one of the few things he takes completely seriously. Wade treasures every "I love you" like it's a precious gift, and he’ll never let you forget just how much he loves you back—even if he has to do it in the most ridiculous ways possible.
Logan (Wolverine):
Logan isn’t the type to be overly expressive with words, and he’s lived long enough to have lost more people than he can count. So, every time you say "I love you," it hits him deep. Logan’s used to living with the weight of his past and the pain of loss, so your constant affirmations of love are a grounding force for him. They remind him that, despite everything, he has something—and someone—worth living for.
He might grunt or mumble in response, but that’s just Logan’s way of hiding how much it truly affects him. If you catch him at the right moment, when he’s had a drink or two, or after a particularly rough day, Logan will pull you into a tight embrace and mutter a gruff, “Love you too, darlin’.” He might not always say it back directly, but he shows it in the way he protects you, the way he’s always there when you need him, and the way he lets his guard down around you.
For Logan, your “I love you” is a beacon in a world that’s often felt dark and cold. It’s a reminder that, no matter how many battles he fights or how many wounds he carries, there’s someone who sees the man beneath the beast and loves him just the same.
#marvel imagine#x men imagine#wolverine imagine#wolverine x reader#logan howlett imagine#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#wolverine one shot#wolverine#deadpool imagine#deadpool x reader#deadpool oneshot#wade wilson x reader#wade wilson imagine#wade wilson#remy lebeau imagine#remy lebeau x reader#gambit one shot#gambit x reader#gambit imagine#gambit
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𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐘
pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader
word count: 2.5k words
summary: in which it was a drunkenly suggested idea that actually didn’t sound too bad, and it was somehow easy to turn your friendship into something a little different. the hardest part should be keeping it a secret, but instead, it’s making sure that things don’t change more than they already have
warnings: explicit language, friends with benefits, sexual tension, implied smut, a lil angst
author’s note: first time writing for eddie (finally!) this is slightly based off the song “homegirl” by king princess. specifically the line “we’re friends at the party, i’ll give you my body at home.” more eddie stuff coming soon? eventually? maybe..?
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
From the beginning, you both had the same understanding of what this was.
Two friends having fun every once in a while. Two friends doing things that two people who were just friends wouldn’t do with one another. Two friends that wanted something completely and utterly not serious because they both had just gotten out of shitty relationships and weren’t in the right headspace to commit to anything.
You and Eddie agreed on it all.
And you two also agreed that you could never tell your friends about what you were doing.
You could only imagine the concerned and confused looks that would’ve been shared amongst them all if you and Eddie sat them down and told them about what had been happening for the past five months. Steve would think it was kinda weird and so random. Robin would say the same thing and also add that you two being each other’s rebounds would only mess things up within the friend group in the long run. Nancy would go on and on about how this was not the way that you two should’ve been coping with your respective break ups, etc, etc.
Neither of you wanted to hear any of it, so with hushed whispers and the linking of pinkies in the middle of the night— moments after you two had drunkenly made out in the bathroom of The Hideout and were debating on whether or not you should move things to the back of Eddie’s van that was parked right outside— this quickly became the best kept secret.
During group hangouts and other social situations, you and Eddie were just friends— nothing more, nothing less— but when you were alone, it was different.
In a way it was fucked up, and on some level you both could recognize that. Falling into each other’s beds most nights was definitely not a good way to cope and deal with everything, just like Nancy would’ve told you both, but so far it was working perfectly fine. And how easy and okay it all was— how it somehow never felt weird or wrong to flip that switch and change your friendship into what it now was— only sometimes confused you.
And just for a moment, as you and Eddie sat in his van outside of Steve’s house, you were hit with that confused feeling that also slightly surprised you. It was fleeting, as quick as it came it was washed away, and then it was forgotten.
“Come on,” You mumbled against his lips before fully pulling away. “We need to go inside before they think we got into a tragic car crash while going to get this fucking ice.”
“One more minute,” Was all Eddie said in response as his lips found your neck.
You savored the feeling for a second before your hands came up to his chest to softly push him away. “Nope, no way. Do not give me a hickey right now, Munson.”
He only laughed and you simply rolled your eyes at the sound as you opened the door and stepped out of his van. You headed to the back and Eddie followed suit, opening the doors so that you two could grab the ice that you’d been tasked with getting forty minutes earlier. You picked up one and he grabbed the other two, and then you pushed the doors back shut with your free hand.
“How you getting home tonight?” Eddie asked you. You knew what his question really meant— Are we going home together?
“Not sure yet. Might stay with Robin since it’s her birthday and she said she’s probably gonna just spend the night here. Or I’ll drive with Nance,” You answered, shoulders lifting in a small shrug.
Neither of those things would end up happening, you knew that you’d probably be leaving here with Eddie in a few hours. But it was nice to tease him right then, push his buttons a bit.
He only smiled at you, easily reading through the bullshit laced within your words, and was completely okay with playing along. “Okay, got it. I guess I don’t have to worry about bringing you home.”
“Guess not.”
You two were already standing in front of Steve’s front door, but you simply held Eddie’s gaze for a few beats longer, the smallest smile playing on your lips, before you pushed the door open and the teasing conversation immediately became drowned out by the music.
Steve waved you both over to the kitchen. “Finally, you’re back.”
“There was some traffic,” Eddie told him and Steve surprisingly didn’t question the excuse— even though there being traffic in Hawkins was an insanely far-fetched statement to make.
You handed the bag of ice in your hand over to Steve, which he put in the freezer and then he and Eddie poured the others in the coolers that sat on top of his kitchen island that had beers and sodas in them.
You were about to walk away— see if you could find Robin, maybe wish her happy birthday for the third time tonight— but Steve slung an arm around you before you could. “I need you to be my beer pong partner.”
“Y’know, Steven, I don’t think it can really be considered as a partnership if I’m the one doing all of the work to make us win,” You said, but still let him drag you to the table littered with red solo cups anyway.
Two rounds of beer pong later, both of which you and Steve— mainly you— won, you were slightly tipsy. Definitely nowhere near drunk enough to do the karaoke that was set up in the living room, like Robin, Vickie, and Nancy. Although you did enjoy their very theatrical and soulful performance of Somebody to Love by Queen.
However, you were just the right amount of tipsy to smile when you spotted Eddie through the throngs of people, smoking weed on the couch and talking to Gareth. A part of you wanted to walk over and settle yourself in his lap, but thank God your thinking was still somewhat logical and you reminded yourself that you couldn’t do that.
Instead, you settled for sitting on the arm of the couch and feet resting on the dark cushion, close enough to Eddie but not so much that it would raise a thousand alarm bells by your friends if they saw you two right then. He looked up at you for a brief second, giving you a small smile that practically melted your insides, and you were the one who had to pull your eyes away from his first.
A silent conversation played out in a matter of seconds— he held the joint out toward you in offering, not even breaking the conversation with Gareth as he did so, and you grabbed it, taking a long drag before handing it back to him.
You were only half-paying attention to what they were talking about, some new horror movie that you hadn’t gotten around to seeing yet. All you could really focus on was Eddie moving a bit and leaning against your legs.
It wasn’t something that was entirely un-innocent— you could’ve easily pictured Robin or Steve or Nancy doing the same thing— but coming from Eddie it nearly drove you insane, and you had a feeling that he knew that. It was always the simplest of touches that made you essentially fold for him, when he’d place a hand on your knee whenever you were in the passenger seat of his van or when his hand would find the small of your back whenever you were at The Hideout and surrounded by way too many people.
And it was especially easy to fold when you weren’t fully sober.
You looked down at him and noticed the smirk on his face and you had to hold back your eye roll. If he was going to tease you, you were willing to do the same back.
You abruptly got up from the couch. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”
You didn’t wait for his response before you started walking away, but you hoped that he picked up on the request that was hidden beneath your words.
The first floor bathroom was luckily empty and you flicked on the light as you closed the door behind you and faced the mirror above the sink. You were only looking at yourself for a brief second before the door opened and you turned around to face Eddie.
The same fucking smirk was on his face as he pushed the door closed and locked it behind him and then immediately reached out for you. “C’mere.”
“Mm-mm.” You shook your head as you stepped back away from him. “I just wanted to talk.”
He let out a small laugh at that. “Okay, yeah, let’s talk.”
You leaned back against the sink and looked up at him. “So, what was that movie you and Gareth were talking about?”
He stepped closer to you, closing a bit of the small distance between you two. “A dumb horror movie.”
It was hard to ignore the feeling of his hands coming up to your waist, but you still did so anyway and you didn’t push him away. “Okay, so I shouldn’t go see it?”
Eddie only shook his head no in response. He started slowly rubbing your sides, his warm touch practically burning a hole in the dark high-waisted jeans you were wearing.
“Do you have any recommendations?” You asked as your arms came up to loosely circle his neck. “I wanna watch something I haven’t seen before.”
He didn’t answer your question that time around and instead leaned in to kiss you. But, you turned your head at the last second and he groaned into your neck, which only made you smile.
“We can watch any movie you want right now if you let me take you home,” He mumbled, lips humming against your neck.
“I have a feeling that we wouldn’t be watching the movie if that happened,” You said and held back your laughter at the second groan he let out. “And besides, we can’t leave yet. The cake hasn’t been cut and we haven’t even sung happy birthday. Don’t you remember how birthday parties work, Munson?”
“Your pretty face is making it really hard to remember anything, sweetheart,” He told you, pulling away and a hand came up to stroke your cheek. The cool feeling of the rings on his fingers brushing your skin was a nice contrast to the burn of your cheeks.
Things had been changing recently, a shift that neither of you wanted to acknowledge just yet; maybe because it was hard to tell what exactly was changing. And so, things kept continuing as it was.
You shook your head a little and let out a small laugh. “Always such a charmer.”
That time when he leaned in to slot his lips against yours, you didn’t turn your head away.
“Only for you,” He playfully whispered against your lips.
He pulled back before either of you could even think about making the kiss deeper and he looked at you so sweetly. You suddenly wished that the light was off and it was dark right then so that you didn’t have to see his face.
That confused feeling was back, and you finally understood what it meant. It hit you so abruptly and harshly, it almost felt like you were finally being shaken awake to what was so obvious. You liked him— more than just a friend, more than you ever let yourself think before. And you almost instantaneously came to the conclusion that this, the way you were feeling, was entirely one-sided.
When this first started, it was because both of you were essentially embracing that old saying of “if you wanna get over someone, get under someone else,” and it worked for you. And it wasn’t just the sex, it was the half-awake pillow talk moments after and listening to music in his van as you two sat outside your house when he was dropping you off that meant the most to you, that helped you actually get over your ex and his shittiness. But, you didn’t think that it was the same way for Eddie.
He loved his ex, anyone with two eyes could see that. And he still loved her, more so than he let on, and that felt like something only you could see. The longing look on his face whenever he talked about her to you, the nostalgic smile he’d get whenever he mentioned something good about how they used to be. It was obvious how he still felt.
And just like that, the spell that you’d been cast under in this moment was broken.
You let out the smallest sigh and detangled yourself from him, letting your arms fall to your sides.
He looked at you, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Maybe everything. “I’m gonna get some water.”
You were pulling yourself out of his grasp and brushing past him toward the door, but Eddie’s hand found yours before you could twist the lock.
Reluctantly, you met his eyes and his voice was soft as he spoke. “You can tell me anything, remember?”
A few minutes ago that felt entirely true, now you weren’t so sure, but you still nodded anyway. “I know.”
“So, what happened in the last thirty seconds?”
A part of you wanted to say it. A part of you wanted to be honest with him.
But, you couldn’t.
Because you were convinced of what the outcome would be if you did— you could already imagine the sad and pitying look that would cross his face and essentially say it all. If you told the truth in this moment, it would fuck up your friendship and it would fuck up what you two had turned your friendship into. Therefore, you came to the quick decision that you could bury it all down for however long you needed to so that you didn’t mess anything up.
You bypassed Eddie’s question and instead closed the newfound space between you two, pushing yourself up on your toes and pressing your lips against his. The kiss was different this time around, it was no longer soft and teasing. It was deeper, more needy and desperate, and Eddie reciprocated in a matter of seconds. He turned you both around so that you were pressed up against the sink again and he immediately lifted you onto it, barely detaching from your lips in the process.
If the circumstances were different, you would’ve fully let him do whatever he wanted to do to you in this bathroom. But, things wouldn’t go farther than this in here; not in Steve’s house, not with your friends just down the hall.
When you pulled away to catch your breath, your lips brushed against his ear as you spoke. “I want you to take me home tonight.”
The smile Eddie gave you made your heart constrict in your chest. It almost made you want to blurt out how you were feeling right then because maybe just maybe he actually did feel the same.
But, of course, you didn’t say anything. You had another secret to keep and you would force yourself to be entirely okay with that.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。
let me know ur thoughts<333
#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson x y/n#eddie munson x fem!reader smut#eddie munson x female reader#stranger things smut#stranger things fic#stranger things imagine#stranger things fluff
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THE MOON REPRESENTS MY HEART 🌙 + Friday Madness
i just think that me freaking about gg singing this song and leaving after that is not right. this song deserves it’s own post and the importance of the Moon’s symbolism between them should be repeated. personally, i was surprised cause i cpn’d about a possible interpretation of showing off moon photos when they do it, then i thought of this song. now you have gege performing it. the universe has clowned me once again. and you have him as performer #8. Bo. are you kidding me? yes, this is a CCP signed-off event. the song must have been an approved piece to perform live but that doesn’t mean GG did not have a say in picking this track. as for him being the 8th one, a coincidence. destiny can’t help but relate them to each other. lol.
you can say that it’s perfect for the theme of mid-autumn festival and it’s a well loved song — yes, that’s right. but we’re all cpfs here who have a long history with 🌖 and GG finally singing it now seems like a “sign”.
this song’s relevance started with a fake rumor:
I would like to add that the moon should be the one that Wang laoshi watched a video of. After watching it, he said, "Do you believe me, I can also dance this for you?" The background music was "The Moon Represents My Heart" I think it should be posted by Xiao laoshi, but this happened a long time ago on the stage, but it should be related. I don’t know about choreography. I was busy with other things at that time. This is what I know.
THIS HITS DIFFERENT NOW. imagine yibo dancing to this. i will lose it. 🤯🤯🤯
and it doesn’t help that xz had a teaser video released by BRTV today:
send the moon to you // "I want to take a picture of the moon for you but it never comes out”
this is why we love fake rumors, one way or another, the similarities come up or parts of it come true.
then the matching photoshoot prop. also their studios posting 5 minutes apart. yes it makes sense for them to post in the same time span cause the content released around the same time too. but xzs is 20:40. 8:40. 8= Bo and 40 on the clock points to 8.
Seriously, XZ. come here. i just wanna talk. you are being so loud today sir. 🤡🤡🤡🤡
AS FOR THE PERFORMANCE ITSELF.
Outstanding. As expected of GG. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
There is something so soft and shy in the way he performed it. As if he is confessing to the person he loves how much he feels. This person knows — but not this way. Not this deep. This is him finally saying what his love is like.
youtube
He is also happy. This love makes him whole. It’s so nice to see him this way!
@rainbowsky already mentioned the way we are excited and crying because of it’s connection to Leslie Cheung which is the main thing in conversations. is this xz’s way of dedicating the song to the love of his life in public?
and the lyrics need no further interpretation, it’s such a sweet and simple song about one’s devotion.
so it’s not just xz singing this love song and us clowning. it’s years of clues and references — which now feels like a lead up to this “confession”. 💕
P.S: my main boxiao and moon post is obviously not updated for some time. so just search for “moon” on this blog for other references but y’all know tumblr will still not show everything.
P.P.S: i wanna bring back the moon landing watch. one of the strongest moon cpn out there that honestly feels like an urban legend now the way we never saw it again. lol. it was too loud they probably decided that wyb shouldn’t wear it again in public 😅😅😅😅
END.
#yizhan#bjyx#Youtube#there is no science here i’m just clowning like i always do#I AM STRUGGLING THE CPN IS SO STRONG
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◇DI KO KAYANG UMIBIG MULI!
Yurp i have filipino genes, (some german genes too but im more filipino) and i felt like writing this cuz why not? And also this song makes me turn in shambles
PAIRINGS: FILIPINO-FEM!READER X KARASU TABITO.
FLUFF? Idk what tags to add lol CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS? Might almost turn into a series,Long fic?
WORD COUNT:1,4k
You were a foreinger from a different country, that moved in japan when you were 7 years old, your mother got a job as a nurse in japan,osaka. Since she took nursing in the past.
resulting to both you and your mother living in japan by now.
You would just call it- japain since children YOUR age had been picking on you- you couldnt even understand some of them since you only knew how to speak english and ofc, your native language.
There was one particular kid at the same age as you- karasu tabito.
Both you had met when you were little kids, he was picked by the other children back in elementary, both you and him were called 'freaks' 'weirdo's' for being.. different from others.
Thats what you both were- and how you both became friends.
You both became friends because you were both different from the rest of them: weirdos, freaks, yeah. Mediocre as you call it too.
He would protect you- in exchange you would protect him back. He was a smart kid- you were too.
Both of you excelled in class, you were always second place, he was first. You both stayed by each others side since that day, like something locking your souls together- or even intertwining your hearts and pressing them together like you both were not meant to leave each other.
Your mom, his mom had always noticed you two being together- of course they were both glad that their children finally had a nice loving friend.
In middle school- you finally learned how to speak japanese, teaching karasu some tagalog, and filipino words too.
Both of you werent meant to be seperated. Well.. atleast you were.
You and him are both in highschool now, seniors and in third years.
Him- 18 you 18, well this is the day that he will regret.
"Hey tabito!" You ran to his direction where he stood- hair all gelled up, beauty mark visible on the right, his eyes shone like bright sapphires, swirling with emotions hidden behind, he was gorgeous.
You, on his view your beauty almost shining bright as the sun- the rays of light hit your face as it gleamed, your voice calling out his name made the insides of his stomach flutter- almost like theres butterflies inside his stomach from always seeing you, seeing you call out his name. Everything about you is what he loves.
He smirked he always does, blinking and looking at you as you panted and gasped for air, standing up and brushing your hands on your skirt.
"Hi [reader],why were ya' rushing? No need to." He says, holding the straps of his bag- putting it behind his back and holding it.. like something.
"Ah! I just thought i was late since my alarm didnt ring." Yeah relatable- but anyways, he chuckled, in result you chuckled, the strap of your bag sliding a little bit off your shoulder.
"Yer' bag." He touched the straps of your bag- touching your shoulder in the process. His touch, even if the clothing blocks the warmth of it, you could almost feel it through, it was nice, you said.
"Oh, uhm thanks." You smiled to him, oh how he loved seeing your smile, he wishes he can paste it into the depths of his brain to see it everyday.
"So, lets walk to school together?" You say. "Of course, we always do." Karasu responds back, both of you now stepping, walking to your school.
"Huh, yeah." You walked, the silence was so loud, akward emotions filled the both of you as you held your arm while walking.
"So uh, have ya' gotten any duo's or partner's in the chesmistry project?" Karau asked, looking at you as you both continued walking.
"Huh? I havent. How 'bout you?" You asked him back, the school gates was near as the sun shone on the metals of the gate.
"No i still dont have anyone partnerin' with me." He says, both you and karasu had arrived at your school- walking forward as the sun shone on the school gates.
The doors were nearby, as you both stood infront of it."Talk to ya' later?" He said, stopping his tracks, looking at you. Eyes filled with wonder hoping that you will respond to him.
"Yeah, talk to you later tabito." You respond as you smiled warmly again, smile counter number two. Atlas, you both entered the school doors, going to opposite hallways, some students we're still chattering- almost like bee's surrounding you.
Karasu- on the other hand. One of his teammates had put their arm in his shoulder, bickering about the next competitions about other schools- and how hes amazing as the captain of their youth team: bambi osaka.
Hiori on the other hand, of course, you knew him. Hes a second year, you both never got classes together due to you being older than him, but you shared a few thoughts, sometimes ate lunch with him and karasu, and also watched their practice in the field while sitting in the bleachers, you also cheered for the both of them in alot of the competitions that rival schools competed that competed with them- almost like you were a goodluck charm because everytime your in it, they win, and you stood out oh-so-clearly in the crowd.
He knew about you and karasu being long-term friends, hiori was almost your second bestfriend,telling him anything, gossiping even!
Time skip.
It was finally break time after the mind breaking- energy consuming subjects had ended.
You were walking around as you saw tabito patiently waiting for you along with hiori, both of them chatting under the tree the three of you guys sometimes talked, about strategies, even though you couldnt understand some parts about what they were talking about.
Karasu turned his head to your direction- almost like he has a sensor for you when you arrive, waving at you and signalling you with his hand to come over.
You rushed to walk over, bento in your hand,sitting on the warm grass beneath as you laid your bento on the grass, rays of light going through the gaps of the tree's as it hits your shoulder, One of them opens their mouth and says-
"What are ya' guys gonna do after class?" Hiori spoke, looking at the both of you, you were seated next to him as long as tabito was in the opposite direction facing you.
"Were going to do the chemistry project."
"Were goin' to do the chem project."
Both of you had said in unison, both of you giggled and hiori was just sweat-dropping besides you.
"Damn alright. Ya'll got really Connected alright." Hiori spoke once again.
"Of course silly, we've been connected ever-since we were both seven years old!" You replied warm-heartedly. Damn hiori must felt like a married couples adopted child with the way you two almost bonded, basically hes like a practice kid for the two of you except you both werent even in a relation ship.
"Yep, almost like we were super-glued to each-otha'." Karasu replied as he nudged your shoulder, both of you laughing once again.
All three of you chatted as you all ate, of course you had opened your bento.
The chattering was stopped once some of hiori, and karasu's teamates had called karasu.
"Yo' karasu! Let us borrow ya' for a sec!" Random guy A said.
"Yeah, also ya' too hiori! Coach might need us for today." Random guy B said. Wow what a suprise ruining the wholesome moment the three of you shared together. Huh.
Its strange at some point.
Both karasu and hiori got accepted into a football-program called 'blue lock.' You were happy for them, but at the same time you felt.. lonely.
No need to worry, its only for a few days, you were strong.
Karasu:
See you soon [name]. Hope you can wait for us both huh? 😉
Hiori:
Yep, agreed with karasu's words for the first time, cya soon name. :)
:Name
Dont make me wait for too long, hope you both can enjoy it! <3
Karasu and hiori reacted a [❤️]
That was their last chat to you, looking back at it made you smile warmly, you kept thinking about karasu, of course.
You watched their match and you see karasu perform, you were dazed by his skills even if he didnt score any goals, he still was really good in the U20 match, they obviously won, and karasu might've noticed you in the bleachers. You screamed and cheered so loud when they won.
Thats when you met karasu's newfound friend- otoya eita. He looked all ninja like, 'why does he have a green streak in his hair? Is it to hide all of his red flags?' Of course, you were correct.
"Yo' mind if i have your number?" Otoya had asked and karasu hit his head with his fist, not too hard, but not too soft.
"She's off limits bro" karasu said, you looked at him sweat dropping and flushed at the same time. Like what do you mean off limits?? Are we dating?
"She's your gf? My bad sorry karasu" otoya had said as karasu had widened his eyes and nudged him using his shoulder.
"Shes my childhood bestfriend, dont'cha say that!" Karasu says as you went more flushed, standing akwardly and fidgeting the toro keychain in your messenger bag.
"My bad, so can i still have her number." Oh how long is this gonna take.
Your head just went left and right, left right right left untill they finally stopped as one of their teamates called out to them.
"Also, sorry for makin' ya' watch, we have a 2-week break, we can spend some time together.. if we can." He says, scratching the back of his head.
You hugged him, he still smells like sweat- of course you were talking to him after the whole ass match.
"Sure, ill be waiting for you and hiori, even if it takes half of my life."
Well it certainly did take some of your life... just kidding.
Tabito had been invited to his blue locker-friends-team, idk antics. It was sad to say that hiori didnt come, but in exchange.. you did. (He forced you to do so.)
Some of his friends though you were his girlfriend- but you were certainly not.
It was in shibuya- a very busy part of japan, all of you guys had fun,especially when him and his friends got to the uh.. bowling ball place? You dont know what to call it.
One of their blue lockian friends, Barou as they call him.
They dueled the U-20, or former u-20 to a match in bowling, you just watched silently in one of the chairs, paying attention to all of his friends, and him having fun. You smiled warmly, his emotions and yours almost sharing.
After that match, and after all of this. It was midnight now, you were both probably exhausted, and riding a train together.
"Did ya' have fun?, sorry if they were turnin a lil bit freaky, thats just how it is." He asks, looking at you with a smile.
"It was both exhausting and fun.." you say, your head slowly laying on his shoulder. He turned a little bit flushed. Looking at you with his eyes, softening. Your lips look kissable right now.
TIME SKIP.
It was the day he was about to depart yet again- going to go back to blue lock. His eyes had met yours, you were smiling back at him.
"So, see you again? Both you and hiori?" You say, voice soft toned but low.
"Yeah, see ya' soon, goodbye [name]." He said, smiling back at you as his sapphire eyes stared at you, filled with longing and desire. He was walking, almost near to the doors of the bus.
"Wait, i forgot to tell ya' this."karasu had turned to your direction, he rushed to your direction and said this.
"Mahal na mahal kita sobra." Means 'i love and love you so much.'
Wait, when did he learn how to speak tagalog?
Seconds later- he pecked a kiss to your lips, flushed by all of what was happening, you touched your lips slowly as he ran to go to the bus.
Hiori who witnessed all of this was behind your back and just blinked, walking to the bus but waving and giving you a goodbye.
"Huh... i didnt even get to say it back." I look at the bus, the bus slowly starting to move.
Moments later- you had screamed back, instead of speaking in tagalog you spoke in japanese and yelled. "I LOVE YOU TOO TABITO!"
Guess I can't fall in love again.
Well except for him, i can always fall inlove again with this crow boy.
I was having seizures when doing rhus
@miyakiwiii WORK! DO NOT REPOST IN OTHER WEBSITES,TRANSLATE,ETC!
#blue lock#bllk#blue lock manga#bllk manga#<miyakiwi>#blue lock anime#blue lock x reader#blue lock x you#blue lock x female reader#blue lock fluff#bllk fluff#karasu tabito x reader#tabito karasu#karasu tabito#karasu x reader#tabito karasu x reader#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#bllk x female reader#filipino reader
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~Midnight Healing~
𝓢𝓲𝓶𝓸𝓷 𝓖𝓱𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓡𝓲𝓵𝓮𝔂 𝔁 𝓣𝓮𝓪𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓽𝓮!𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
[I highly recommend to put this song on repeat as background music. It will help set the mood.]
warnings/tags: 18+ smut, p*rn with feelings & plot, unexperienced reader, first kiss, first time, oral s*x (fem receiving), p in v, soft Ghost, slow dance, mutual pining, slight angst/comfort, Soap being the best mate, the team being supporting in their own way lmao, cap. price approved 👌🏻 summary: You're at the pub, enjoying a night out with your team. The soothing lulling music, the booze, Johnny's taunts and your own repressed feelings embolden you to invite Simon to join you in a slow dance. The dance leads to long overdue confessions which in turn lead to your first time together. word count: 12.5k. (longest one yet)
A special and huge thank you to my dear @magnoliabutters who has helped me SO MUCH. You've given me so many suggestions that inspired me to write the best possible version of this story. I probably would have given up halfway through if it wasn't for your support. I love you and appreciate you a lot. ♥️
You close your eyes and take a deep breath, elbows resting on the smooth surface of the counter with a thumb circling the cold rim of your half-full glass of bourbon. The soothing blues music playing in the background adds to your sense of calm, with notes vibrating through your limbs, echoing in your ribcage, and clearing your thoughts. You let yourself be lulled by the soft melancholy tune, quietly humming along and rocking your head in rhythm.
Given your job as a task force officer, you rarely get a breather and a chance to enjoy a night out. It is a luxury for you and that is what makes it so special, a time to truly look forward to. Especially when you can share it with your brothers in arms, your family, not bonded by blood but by a profound feeling born through shared hardships and nurtured by trust, respect and understanding. One would imagine you'd prefer to spend your free nights alone or with different people, perhaps even a one-night lover, rather than with your coworkers, the very same guys you spend your entire days with, through sweat and tears, anger and frustration, and occasionally a moment of respite. This is exactly the reason why you wouldn’t dare unwind with anyone else; they are everything for you, the sole people you trust and you would gladly give your life for without hesitation. Why would you need anybody else?
Seeing them loosen up for one night, just enough to treat themselves to a pint or a glass of whiskey is such the delight. You wouldn’t even need to chug a drink of your own to feel the tension leave your body, finally allowing yourself to relax.
This time is no exception. Same place, same company, same feeling of being exactly where you need to be, of needing literally nothing else in the world.
"Enjoying yourself?"
Soap's voice sounds clear in your ear and interrupts your blues-induced trance. A lazy smile greets you as you turn to look up at him. He settles down on the barstool next to you.
"Yeah… I love this music. It feels like a lullaby but instead of making me want to sleep, it makes me want to move, you know? "
"Sounds like you want to hit the dance floor! Care to give us a show?"
"Wouldn't you like that!"
You smirk at him, bumping your shoulder against his.
"Who wouldn’t?” he returns the nudge, playfully winking at you, “But I know someone who would particularly enjoy it, more than anybody else."
You raise an eyebrow, giving him a knowing look. Every time you come to the pub, you can't avoid one or two, occasionally three, drunken brash males hitting on you or simply gluing their eyes on you from afar, never stopping for the entire time you're here. You'd think that being literally surrounded by four menacing - some more than others - muscular men would prevent anyone from ever looking your way twice, especially weak-minded misogynists who don't believe a woman could take care of herself… That clearly isn't the case. Go figure! These people have no sense of shame or… self-preservation.
"What ugly old man’s ball sack-looking dude is staring at me this time?"
A chuckle escapes him. He shakes his head as he swirls the liquid in his glass before taking a sip.
“No ugly old man’s ball sack-looking dude , just a possibly ugly dude.”
"Oh?" a wry smile takes form on your lips, "well, I could get behind that."
"He's been throwing some not-so-sneaky glances your way ever since we arrived."
"Yeah?”, you ask, taking a quick glance around the room. “Coordinates, Sergeant. Don’t leave me in the dark."
Soap's eyes glint mischievously as he subtly nods to your left, then raises his glass to his lips to take another sip and mask his grin. You follow the trajectory of his nod, gaze skimming the whole length of the counter, overlooking the serene faces of Gaz, Laswell, the captain, until it locks on a familiar pair of big dark eyes. The smirk on your lips immediately falters and your stomach flips.
Simon is holding your gaze, seemingly unfazed, arms folded across his chest and muscles flexing under his black windbreaker. No matter how accustomed you are to seeing him in his casual attire, your heart always loses a beat whenever your eyes land on him. The way his skull balaclava hugs his face and the way the hood of his dark grey sweatshirt is all the way up, hiding his head, make his mesmerising eyes circled with black make-up even more striking and thus much more lethal to your poor weak heart. You’re so attracted to him, so infatuated… you’ve never felt this inexorable pull toward anyone before. It’s like a new form of gravity, so strong that you can’t even avert your gaze; it takes too much effort, like going against the laws of nature.
Soap’s giggle draws you back from the trance. Your eyes dart around aimlessly for a moment before you whip around to glare at your friend.
“You’re a bastard.”
He shrugs innocently, that stupid grin of his still tugging at his lips.
"You saw it for yourself, he was staring."
"Yeah, 'cause he probably heard you or read your lips or… something."
"Right,” he says with a scoff, elongating the word. “Didn’t know superman was part of the 141…"
His mocking tone makes you roll your eyes. Grabbing your glass, you bring it to your lips and savour the sensation of the cool, sweet but strong liquid flowing down your throat. As you knock the empty glass back onto the counter, you catch a glimpse of Ghost. Fortunately, this time he appears to be engaged in discussion with Price, providing you with the green light that allows your wistful gaze to linger on him, unnoticed.
"Well, you must admit that…”, you mutter almost to yourself, eyes reverently roaming his figure, “...if anyone had superpowers in our team, it would definitely be him."
"Heh. You certainly look at him as if he already has them."
Johnny interrupts your reveries again and you shake your head, tearing your eyes away from Simon and trying to clear your mind in the process. "Stop it. He's just, he's-"
"He's single, for all I know."
The sergeant shrugs again with an innocent smile as you give him the stink-eye.
"You’re a menace ."
You poke him hard in the ribs, causing him to wince and almost spill his drink. You both can’t help but laugh.
“I swear if you told him or anyone anything… I'll strangle you in your sleep.”
“Mmm, so passionate, y/n. He’s gonna love that.”
You roll your eyes again, yet can't help but smile.
Soap is your best mate; you're closer to him than the rest of the squad, which is saying a lot given how close the team is. You may or may not have let your feelings for Simon slip during a private conversation one night at the HQ while you were a little tipsy, and he's been a little shit about it since then, unwilling to let you live it down. You know it's all in good fun, there's no malice in his words, but his taunts do nothing to help you keep your feelings under control.
“You should tell him, by the way.”
“We’ve already talked about this, Johnny…”
“I just don’t understand why you’re keeping it to yourself. You scared of getting rejected?”
You shrug, your gaze fixed on the empty glass in front of you as you fidget with it absentmindedly. He struck a nerve. Taking the first step without being absolutely certain that your feelings are reciprocated and thus making a colossal blunder scares the shit out of you. Actually, the mere thought of taking a shot in the dark makes your stomach churn with dread.
“Y/n, he would never turn you down. Never .”
“You don’t know that.”
Soap scoffs incredulously. “C’mon! You’ve seen the way he looks at you! There’s nothing PG-13 about it.”
He pauses for a moment waiting for your retort but when you don't give him any, he draws conspiratorially close to your ear. “Although, I guess you don’t get to hear what he says about you when it’s just us boys…”
You perk up, turning toward him with a curious and clearly hopeful look on your face. Does he know something you don’t? Or is he messing with you? You can never tell with Soap.
“W-what does he say?”
Soap grins victoriously, undoubtedly pleased with himself for catching you failing, yet again, to hide your stupid little crush.
"Gave my word that I would keep my mouth shut..."
“Ugh!", you push him away with a hard smack on his arm, "you’re insufferable.”
“Go talk to him and find out on your own. In the unlikely case that what you fear the most happens, any of us smart boys would gladly take his place in your heart, love ."
You shake your head with a scoff, eyes drifting aimlessly to the other side of the room. Turns out, Johnny was trying to get under your skin, as per usual, however you can’t help but mull his words over.
Perhaps he's got a point, perhaps it is time to let it all out in the open and face the consequences , whatever they might be. Johnny said that Simon has talked about you with the guys. It might be nothing, but what if he really has let his own feelings slip during a conversation, just like when it happened to you with Soap? Or perhaps, he had a real heart to heart talk with his mates…
You have your doubts, but then again why would Johnny mention that he spoke of you? Why would he try so hard to reassure you that Simon would never reject you? Why would he stress out the fact that he often gets caught staring at you? Could your friend be doing this solely for a laugh? No, Johnny is not that kind of person. He cares about you and he clearly understands how much you care about Simon. He would not give you a friendly push merely to watch you fall face first to the ground. There must be some truth behind his jokes and teasing… but are you ready to risk it all to find out? Being rejected isn't the only fear that prevents you from acting on your feelings...
"Whatever.” You sigh at last, propping yourself up by pushing your palms against the edge of the counter. “I'm here to unwind, not get caught up in my head as usual. So… now, I’m going to dance. And, just to be clear, I'm not doing it for you or Simon or anybody other than myself."
The pointed look you give him makes Soap raise his hands in defeat, however it doesn't wipe that little smirk off his face. The glass grazes his curled up lips as he looks at you with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah… You'll thank me later.”
His words get lost in the rising bustle of the pub; the cacophony of voices and the clatter of glasses gets louder just as the music fills your ears the more you get away from the bar. The soothing tune comes out of two huge amps set at either side of an empty stage, and floods over you, the sole person standing in front of it. You feel a bit self-conscious at first, sensing everyone's eyes on you but you try your best to ignore them. Letting your eyes flutter shut, you focus solely on the music, allowing yourself to be transported by the slow lulling rhythm.
Soon, you're swaying your hips in time, your feet picking up their own pattern. You don't care about how you're moving, how it may look; all you care about is letting go, setting yourself free, feeling the music pass through you, and being completely in the moment. You dance worry-free, entirely surrendering control of your body to the enthralling and sinuous voice of the electric guitar. Few things are more freeing than dancing like nobody’s watching…
The song comes to an end almost too quickly and so does the enchantment that has seized you. When you open your eyes, chancing a look around you, you immediately meet Simon’s stare. He's still sitting at the bar but now he's turned toward you, back to the polished wood of the counter, one elbow resting on its edge. Clearly he has been watching you the whole time, enjoying the show , as Soap said. You feel a thrill run through you. Perhaps it's the alcohol kicking in, perhaps those feelings pushed deep inside you are finally emerging to the surface. Or is it just the adrenaline of the dancing still holding control over your body?
Regardless of the answer, you find yourself walking toward him; the initial notes of a new song matching your sultry and unhurried steps. He firmly holds your gaze, but you notice the shifting in his seat as you approach him with renewed confidence.
You stop when you’re right in front of him, a coy smile plays on your lips while you hold out your hand.
"Care to join me?"
His eyes flicker to your extended palm then wander over your face, as if he's looking for a cue that would tell him whether you're joking or being serious.
"You're outta your mind, princess ."
You raise your eyebrow at the word 'princess'. He knows you don’t like to be called like that but he doesn't seem to care. He keeps using that stupid term, especially when he wants to reprimand you, putting you in your place or just to tease you and get under your skin. But there is something in the way he said it just now, an endearing nuance in his tone that combined with his thick accent makes you melt like chocolate.
"Why? You seemed really interested only a minute ago."
You tease him with a challenging look on your face while you nonchalantly tug down the zip of your biker jacket. After the dance you're feeling a bit flushed, you need to let your skin breathe. No other reason for uncovering your cleavage, right? Definitely not to draw his attention to the deep neckline of your dress. Of course not, why would you do that?
"I was only-"
You interrupt him, arms folding across your chest, drawing his eyes even more to the curves of your body. " Enjoying the show , right."
"No.” He counters quickly, his voice loud and clear even over the music. Doesn’t he sound a little nervous? Or are you simply imagining it?
“I was just… glad to see this carefree side of you. It's a good look on you."
You stare into each other’s eyes, your heart thumping hard in your chest. You didn’t expect to hear him say that.
"Well…”, you bite your lip as you try to ease your racing heart, arms falling back to your sides, “...dancing is very freeing. You should try it."
"I don't think it would work for me."
"Why don't we find out?"
Shivering just a little, you take another step forward. His head slightly cranes up so that he can keep his piercing gaze on yours. You move your hand on his wrist, fingers wrapping gently around it before giving a little pull in your direction.
"C'mon…", you give him a teasing smile as you step back, head nodding back to the space behind you, “...let’s go.”
Despite your pulling, Simon doesn’t budge a single inch, but you see him hesitate. You keep tugging at his wrist, stepping backwards, even attempting to pout, until he silently relents and stands up, letting you drag him toward the stage at last. You didn't expect him to give up. You thought you'd have to put much more effort into it, or that you'd have to be the one giving up in the end. You're genuinely surprised by the turn of events but you won't let that dent your spirit now. You've just started playing with fire and you can't help but feel the thrill of it, the excitement lighting up inside of you.
You stop when you reach the spot you previously made your own during your solo dance and turn around to face him. He stands there, tall and motionless, the hood of his sweatshirt still on; he looks so out of place on the dance floor, the sight makes you chuckle.
"Don't worry Si, nobody would dare judge you."
"I don't care about that."
"No?"
With a smile on your face, a gaze fixed on him, you start to sway your hips in sync again. His eyes immediately flicker down to take in your movements. He doesn’t seem to care about the fact that he looks like a freaking pole, standing so still in front of you, not moving even one muscle. His whole focus is on you and he seems to particularly enjoy being able to watch you from the best seat in the house.
“You could move your shoulders a little bit, you know? Or even just nod your head in time with the music.”
It’s so evident that he doesn’t know what to do with his body, where to even begin. You almost feel guilty of having dragged him there, of putting him on the spot.
“Here, follow my steps.”
You pick up a simple left-to-right footwork, following the slow but steady rhythm of the drums and encourage Ghost to mirror your motions with a nod and a gentle smile. He studies you, eyes observing your body attentively, picking up every little movement you make.
He appears quite stiff as he attempts to follow along; his bulky body doesn't seem keen to make him look as graceful on the dancefloor as it does on the battlefield. But he's trying at least, and quickly getting the hang of it.
“That’s it! You’re not half bad, Si!”
A soft chuckle escapes you as you bite your bottom lip. Seeing him dance - or try to - makes you oddly giddy, euphoric even. It's just such a rare and bizarre thing to see that you can't help but smile wide and enjoy the moment to the fullest.
Raising your arms in the air, you swing your hips and bend your knees as you lower your body to the ground, only to raise up again, twisting your curves like a snake. The thrill of his probing stare piercing you causes you to shudder; his eyes are unwavering, admiring your every move with utmost devotion. Having his undivided attention makes you feel alive, it makes you feel special and bold.
You take a step closer and reach out to grab both of his hands in yours, your movements mellowing to fit his laid-back rocking. His calloused hands are surprisingly soft and warm as they wrap perfectly around yours, like matching pieces of a puzzle; his touch feels comforting, stable, safe. As you look up at him, eyes locking once again, you feel your heart pound rapidly in your chest. A small smile takes form on your lips to mask the turmoil rising within you.
“This feels… nice, doesn’t it?”
“It does.”
Your heart soars upon hearing his answer, smile widening.
“I didn't know you could dance."
"I can't dance”, you correct him with a light chuckle, “I simply enjoy moving my body to the music."
"Never seen you do that before."
"Well, most of you guys don't even like listening to music, so I only get to do it when I'm on my own… which is a rare occurrence since apparently you babies can’t leave me alone for more than one minute."
You squeeze his hands playfully, a cheeky grin playing on your face. You notice his eyes crinkle lightly in response.
"You can use my office, if you want. There's enough room to… move around."
You let out a hearty laugh, head shaking softly. Your eyes lower to the floor for a moment, monitoring the way both your feet move perfectly in sync and at the same time picturing the silly image in your mind.
"You gonna sit at your desk, grumbling over your paperwork while, with music blasting in my ears, I dance like nobody’s watching right in front of you?"
"Why not,” he says with a shrug.
His voice doesn’t betray his collected demeanour, but you know he’s smiling underneath that mask.
"Well, for one…”, you raise one eyebrow, giving him a knowing look, “I think it would get pretty distracting, rather quickly." You bring your joined hands to the level of your eyes and his chest, slowly interlacing your fingers with his. The muscles of his arms seem to tense for a moment.
"...Fair enough."
"Secondly…”, you trail off, eyes flickering up to meet his serious stare, voice losing a bit of its jovial nuance, “...people might start talking."
"Who cares."
His remark is curt and blunt, and it takes you a bit by surprise. He actually sounds as though he wouldn't care less if your coworkers were to start spreading rumours about you two possibly being... intimate. Or perhaps you're merely grasping at straws. After all, you're talking about dancing. Nothing more, right?
"You’re telling me that you wouldn’t care what the others may think or say?" your tone is clearly hesitant this time, vulnerable even, eyes frantically searching his, "...watching us dance like this? Being this close?"
He keeps silent for a long moment, gaze boring into yours. His hands then pull on your wrists, tugging you closer to him. He swiftly wraps his arms around your waist, while your hands fly onto his chest for support as a surprised gasp escapes your mouth.
“How could I give a crap about them or what they think… when I have you here in my arms?”
His straightforward statement catches you off-guard, causing you to stumble upon your feet. It feels like the tables have turned. Your flirtatiousness made him take the bait and now you’re the one who doesn’t know how to act. Your boldness instantly vanishes, it’s as if you never had it in you in the first place. A tardy nervous chuckle slips out of you as you struggle to regain your synced rocking.
“You must’ve had a drink too many, huh Si?”
“Never been more lucid in my life.”
You stare deeply into his eyes, a wild-eyed look on your face, as he firmly holds your gaze. Tension soaks the air around you, you can sense it getting thicker and thicker. Suddenly, there's not a single soul in the pub but you two. Your eyes locked, bodies swaying gently together, lightly brushing against one another. Your heart thumps forcefully against your chest.
[ 2:26 min .]
…
I just want to get your head back, baby
Give you all the love I got, for sure
So, baby, if you've got that feeling
You know I wanna give you that midnight healing
Oh, I just want to make love to you all night long
…
Perhaps it's merely your perception, but the music appears to get louder. The song’s lyrics are now distinctly clear; they echo in your head, tickling your mind like a subtle hint intended specifically for you.
Returning your attention to Simon, you detect a strange glint in his eyes. Did he receive the hint as well? The way his grasp on your waist tightens, palms roving over your sides and drawing you even closer to him, seems to confirm your supposition.
You both seem to lean forward, attracted like magnets, until your faces are merely inches away. The music deafens, slowly making its way into the background, providing the perfect mood for this special moment. Neither of you says a word, instead you let your eyes speak for themselves. Everything around you seems to blur into a negligible mist. Simon has you hypnotised, just as the music did, with the intensity of his gaze and the warmth of his touch. As one of his hands slides up to your neck, fingers grazing the soft hollow area just above your pulse point, a sharp shiver travels up your spine.
The room spins around you. All of a sudden, your heart pounds hard against your chest and in your ears. You sway on your feet with fingers tugging on his jacket to keep your balance. His hands move quickly to your back, to support your body as you shift your weight on him for a moment before catching yourself. You feel hot, dizzy, and out of breath.
"Y/n?"
"J-just give me a moment, will you?" You say rather harshly, unable to keep the rising panic and tension out of your voice.
His concerned gaze is the last thing you see before you abruptly pull away and dash back towards the counter, mind buzzing, chest tightening. You notice Soap’s smile drop into a puzzling look as he watches you rush over but before he can ask you anything, you hear Gaz's hesitant voice coming from behind you.
"What's going on?"
You throw a quick glance over your shoulder, instantly meeting his perplexed look. Your actions seem to have drawn the attention of Price and Laswell, too; you find both of their gazes set on you.
You struggle to take deep breaths, your eyes darting aimlessly from one friendly face to another while your hands clutch around the table edges, fingertips turning white. It takes all your efforts to not raise your gaze toward the dance floor and rest it on the man still standing exactly where you have just left him.
"Nothing! It's all going great!"
Your voice comes out higher pitched than normal but you try to mask it with the most convincing smile you can muster.
You turn toward Johnny before you can witness the other's reactions or give them time to question your words. Your friend pierces you with a questioning look that doesn't leave room for lies.
"I-I think I'm gonna pass out."
He immediately reaches out to place a comforting hand on your arm as he slides his freshly refilled glass towards you.
"You ok? What happened?"
Your hand shakes as you grab the drink. You rub it to your forehead, cheeks, and neck before moving it to your lips. The cool sensation of the glass against your feverish skin seems to ease your panic, even if only a little. You focus completely on the cold liquid scorching down your throat as you take a long sip.
You gasp, pulling from the rim of the glass. "Nothing. It's just-" you take another deep breath, squeezing your eyes shut,"...it felt all-too real, all-too quickly, I guess. I'm not entirely sure. I panicked."
"Y/n," he coos softly, gently squeezing your arm, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to-"
"But that's the point! I want it! We were so close, I mean… you saw it! If it wasn't for the mask, I’m pretty sure he would’ve leaned in for a kiss. I-I felt my heart was about to burst!” The words fall out of your mouth in a nervous rambling. “I wanted to close the distance so bad… that I fucking ran away." A deprecating chuckle escapes you, eyes rolling in disbelief. "I'm so fucking stupid!"
Johnny squeezes your shoulder again, offering you a genuine smile.
"You are not stupid, y/n... Well, maybe just a little bit." He grins in response to your not-so-convincing glare. "Could a little more privacy help you feel better? You know there are rooms upstairs, you could always go there if you want to..."
You watch as his hand disappears inside his jacket and reappears a moment later, holding a small silver key between his fingers. He holds it out to you and you take it from him mindlessly.
Soap laughs as he detects the mute query in your stunned expression.
"I took it earlier thinking I might get lucky and use it for myself, but it looks like I’m not the lucky one tonight���"
Your gaze darts from your friend's face to the key, then back to him. Your heart starts racing again as the true meaning that small metallic object holds hits you like an unforeseen gunshot to the chest. You let out a loud groan, your hands flying to your face to hide your grimace.
"What is it now?"
"Johnny...", his name falls out of your lips in a sing-songy cry, barely audible above the music and chatter. Lips quivering both in embarrassment and fear for the confession you’re about to make. With a whisper, you share, "I've never been with anyone before... I've never even kissed anyone." You chance a look at your friend through your fingers. "What if I make a fool out of myself in front of Simon? Hell, who am I kidding? I-I already have!"
The astonished expression on Soap's face only aggravates your growing anxiety.
"Creeping Jesus! Y/n… I thought you… uhm, it’s okay-," he awkwardly shifts in his seat, his mouth opening and shutting without emitting a single sound, at least not one that you can hear. His gaze abruptly darts to the side, focusing on something far over your shoulder before moving back to rest on you with a barely concealed alarm. "Ok, take a deep breath, he's coming over."
You only have time to curse under your breath and pull your hands away from your face before you feel a presence behind you that makes every hair on your body stand on end.
When you hear your name being called, you turn warily to face the man standing by your side, stomach twisting as you meet his inquisitive stare. You believe you can also see a flicker of hurt in his eyes, too.
"Simon, I'm… I'm-"
"She needed some fuel, L.T.!" Soap rushes to your aid, grinning up at Ghost and smacking him on the arm - a little too hard. "She's all good now… right, y/n?"
He gives you a quizzical look, as if he's asking whether you're ready to handle the situation on your own or if you need more time; at least, that's what you believe he’s trying to convey.
You respond with a feeble nod before your gaze shifts to Simon. You offer him your glass. "A sip?"
He stares at you intently, seemingly studying your face, his expression now unreadable.
"No."
"A-alright, more for me..." you fake a smile and then guzzle the drink all in one go. You slam the empty glass on the counter as you suck air through your teeth, grimacing at the piercing sensation of the scorching liquor spreading inside your system. Your gaze is drawn to Soap's, and you give him a somewhat confident smile, which he returns with a little wink.
Your hand then moves on its own accord, finding Ghost's large palm and interlacing your fingers with his; the contact sends a chill up your spine. When you look up at him, a ghost of a smile appears on your lips. You're not sure what you're doing or what's going to happen, but you try not to second-guess yourself too much and risk screwing up for the second time in a row.
Taking a step back, away from the counter, you beckon him to follow you.
"Come with me…"
He does not resist your pull. He does not hesitate for even one second. He trails behind you as you lead him up the stairs and to the second floor.
Neither of you dare utter a single word as you walk through the corridor and come to a door that matches the number on the key Soap gave you. You don't dare glance at him as you walk in, taking in the dim tavern-like atmosphere of the tiny bedroom. Your gaze is immediately drawn to the king size bed in the centre, which takes up most of the space. Your mouth goes dry. You wonder what Simon might be thinking, if the same thoughts that course through your mind are pestering him as well.
The sound of the door being closed startles you and makes you whirl around. Your gaze immediately captures his, and you gulp under his piercing stare.
With slow heavy steps that mismatch your thundering heartbeat, he walks over to you, stopping only when he’s towering right over you, standing tall in all his imposing height. You keep your gaze levelled in front of you, unable to meet his eyes, however his fingers curl under your chin and nudge your head up, forcing you to face him.
" Princess… " he murmurs in a low breathy tone, his voice tinged with something akin to irritation, “why are you playing little games with me?”
Your stomach flips again. Of course he’d assume you’ve been messing with him, leading him on; it’s only fair considering the odd behaviour you’ve had all night. And probably not just tonight.
“I’m not, trust me…”
He pauses for a brief moment, his keen eyes studying your face, possibly looking for proof of your sincerity.
"You brought me here. Why ?"
"I-I don't know…"
"You don't know?"
You mentally reprimand yourself for your dumb answer and shake your head in an attempt to dissipate the haze that has settled over your mind.
"I mean, I know why, but-" you try to swallow but your throat is dry. The intensity of his dark eyes boring into yours causes you to stutter, "f-fuck Si, you make me so nervous I can't even think straight!"
Your voice comes out louder than intended and soaked with frustration. Your hand moves on his wrist, tugging at it to pry yourself free from his grasp, but his hold on you does not relent.
"You were dancing for all the pub to see until a minute ago, and I make you nervous?"
"Yes! Of course! I don't give a damn about those strangers! Why should I? Besides that's not the point! You make me nervous because you are... you are-"
You shake your head again as you let out a shuddering breath, your gaze averted from his. You know you can't really back down now. You have to tell him the truth but it's damn hard to find the right words to express exactly how you feel. And more than that, to finally find the courage to say them.
You feel like your heart is on the verge of bursting out of your chest.
"You’re someone I really care about, Simon."
His fingers squeeze your chin, urging you to look up, and when you do you notice that his eyes have softened.
“That made you panic?”
You give him a lopsided smile, but a short-lived one, for your anxieties come tumbling back, slithering into your mind and compelling you to address them, once and for all.
"T-There's something else..."
You want to tell him that you've never been with a man before, that you've never even had your first kiss yet, and that the thought of him, the only man you’ve ever loved, desired , possibly being your first, makes you incredibly nervous and self-conscious. You really want to tell him everything and free yourself of this burden but your voice gets stuck in your throat and you gape up at him, feeling your stomach churn.
Simon waits patiently for you to speak up, his fingers still holding your chin. The soft look he offers you seems to ease your tension a little.
"I have…”, you draw a sharp breath, "...no experience in this field , if you catch my drift...”. You mutter those few words in a small voice as your face twists into a grimace.
Your confession hangs in the air for what feels like eternity, your heart seems to have stopped beating altogether.
"I know."
“Wha-?!”
You are completely thrown off by his matter-of-fact tone.
"H-how? Why-" you stutter, mouth gaping, your eyes wide. How could he know? You've never told anybody, not until a few minutes ago. But he couldn't have heard you, could he? That would be impossible.
"Is it really so fucking obvious?"
"No.”
In stark contrast to yours, his voice sounds cool and collected. His fingers graze your skin as they move up from your chin to your cheek. "I figured you had no idea how this worked when suddenly you’re lacking your usual confidence and turning into a bloody school-girl. It threw me off at first. I thought you didn’t want this…”
" Hell…”, your head slowly shakes in disbelief, eyes darting to the side.
Suddenly you don’t know if you should feel relieved, ashamed or sorry for it all. Your own body chooses for you, opting for an odd mix of the three; shoulders slumping, mind buzzing, you stare into space while his words sink in.
So he's been into you the whole time but your mixed signals, caused by your stupid anxieties, have made it look like you were not into him? Or that you were just playing with him? Seriously? What kind of shitty B-rated rom com is this?
" So , you've never been held by a man.” Simon’s calm voice draws you back to the moment, his fingers taking hold of your chin once again. “ Blimey . Is that what makes you so nervous?"
"Is it really not a problem for you?" you ask out of genuine curiosity, brows furrowing as your eyes meet his.
Simon’s scoff almost turns into a hearty laugh as he holds your gaze, eyes crinkling.
"No man has ever put their filthy hands on you and I should be - what? Sad? Disappointed? For God's sake, princess..."
He shakes his head, fingertips taking better hold of your jaw as he leans down.
“You and your worries…” His tone is almost scolding but playfully so, eyes studying every feature of your face. “Stop thinking so much, you numpty . It’s not good for you.”
“Tell me something I don’t know…”, you let out a long shuddering breath, in an attempt to let go of the lingering worry still tightening your throat, "I just… don't want to fuck this up, Si. You mean too much to me..."
He hums softly.
Silence engulfs you. A silence tinged with renewed tension. Not the type of tension that fuels your anxieties but the kind that makes you warm inside. Soft distant notes coming from downstairs fill the room, washing over you in a soothing yet electric wave, reminding you of the dance you shared, of how close you were and the desire that was rising, burning hot, inside of you.
Just like a magnet the attraction between you and Simon grows.
His free hand moves on the small of your back, pulling you closer to him and just like before, out of instinct, your hands land on his chest. He holds your chin high, his gaze piercing straight to your heart.
"Do you want me to kiss you?"
You bite your lip, surprised by his forwardness, a nervous giggle shaking through you. "What kind of question is that-"
"Do you want me to kiss you, princess?"
He asks a second time with a more serious tone that makes your nervous giddiness fade. Looking deep into his eyes, you take a long breath to ease your racing heart, or at least attempt to.
"Y-yeah, I want you to kiss me."
His hand moves over yours resting on his chest, and guides it up to his neck.
"Pull up my mask, uncover my mouth. Only my mouth."
You stop breathing altogether, heart jumping in your throat.
"Y-You want me to do it?"
"Aye."
Touching his mask, pulling it up to uncover his face feels like such an intimate gesture… Your eyes roam reverently over his newly uncovered skin as your fingers gently peel up the fabric of his balaclava, until his mouth is completely exposed to your sight and you can let your adoring gaze truly linger for the first time. You’ve caught glimpses of his face before, his chin looking vaguely familiar for the few times you’ve seen Simon drink or eat in front of you and the team. But that’s all it has ever been: glimpses. You’ve never been allowed to study his clean-shaved chin and alluring mouth like you are now, from so up close.
"You have pretty lips…"
Your comment slips out of your mouth before your mind could register it and you grimace out of embarrassment. "Uh, sorry, that was-"
Words die on your tongue as soon as you feel his hand firmly squeeze your jaw. Your eyes immediately dart to his, which bore into yours. Slowly - breathtakingly slow, he draws closer until his lips hover inches away from yours and you can feel his hot breath on your skin. You swallow dry. In a heartbeat he closes the distance, kissing you gently, softly but with a clear, barely-withheld passion.
You respond to the kiss after a moment of stun. The contact of his lips on yours feels like a soft dream at first, one that seizes your mind in a haze and makes you walk on cloud nine, and then grows in force, as if Simon can't contain his desire any longer.
Your lips part and his tongue slips into your hot mouth, eager to explore this new territory. You moan in the kiss and meet him in a twisting dance of control.
Every move comes surprisingly natural to you, as if you’ve done this a million times before.
His hand travels down from your back to your ass, fingers digging into the soft flesh with a possessive squeeze, then slips even lower to lift your short black dress at its edges and tug it upward just enough to expose the back of your thighs. He doesn't waste time when moving his hand onto that newly uncovered area, kneading the tight flesh there as he bends forward, causing you to arch your back and latch your hands around his neck. Bodies tucking closer.
You take a deep breath as you slightly pull away, lips still grazing his, your hot breaths merging together.
All the words you thought would play out in your head in such an important moment are now nowhere to be found. Instead, it’s all just a feeling of rightness between you and him. None of your fantasies could have ever prepared you for a feeling so… intoxicated.
"Simon…", you usher in a barely audible whisper, slipping your hand under his jacket and feeling his muscles tense under your wandering touch. His lust clouded eyes search yours, his chest heaving hard, hands pressing against you and relenting a second later, as if he’s trying to restrain himself.
"...I want you to be my first."
A guttural sound comes out of his mouth at your words, his fingers spread again on your ass cheek, squeezing it hard and causing you to whimper. His gaze seems to get darker and he draws closer once more, teeth grazing your bottom lip, nibbling at it.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
And just like that, as if a barrier has been finally lifted, his lips crush onto yours once more but harder, hungrier than the first time. In one swift motion he yanks the biker jacket off your shoulders and tosses it on the floor. You instantly match his eagerness, returning the favour; his own windbreaker dropping at your feet.
Before your mind can register what’s happening, you find yourself back against the wall, your shoulder blades hitting the hard surface in an audible thud. You feel your guts twist as heat starts to pool in your belly.
Your lips are still connected, unwilling to separate. His hands dive on your hips, the thin fabric of your flared dress creases under his ravenous groping. One hand slides down, curling up the hem and slipping underneath, meeting the side of your bare upper thigh. His palm closes around it, firmly, possessively as he lifts your leg up to his hip; you wouldn’t be surprised if you were to find a red mark on your skin later, nor would you be displeased. You moan in his mouth in response and let your own hands wander on his body, blindly scanning the muscles of his torso from above his sweatshirt, only to slide lower and lower, until you find its edges and curl them up. Your fingers sneak under the fabric, meeting the smooth skin of his abdomen; his muscles tense up at the teasing contact. Your palms climb up his abs, his pecks, committing the tactile sensation of every inch of his taut torso to memory.
As you both pull away, gasping for air, you let your eyes fall to where your hands disappear under his clothes; you want to look at him, feast your hungry eyes on his naked body but before you can do it yourself, Simon grabs the hem of his sweatshirt and pulls it off his head, adding it to the rest of your discarded clothes. However, he doesn’t give you time to take his bare chest in, for he grabs the back of your thighs and lifts you up like you weigh nothing at all, walks you over to the bed and drops you on the mattress.
Only at this moment are you allowed to let your eyes wander over the muscles of his torso, probably the only part of his body you've already had the pleasure of seeing in the past, although mostly in not so pleasant times, when he needed to be patched up. This time it's totally different. Your hungry gaze devours every inch of him, glinting in twisted pleasure when it meets the scars that you remember having tended to yourself.
You're too eager to touch him again to keep laying there waiting. Quickly throwing your boots off the side of the bed, you crawl on your knees toward him, hands latching on the inseam of his trousers to unzip them. In the meantime he yanks his own boots off his feet and out of the way, with eyes glued to yours.
When you're done with his zip, before you can tug his jeans down, he pushes you back on the mattress and joins you on the bed, settling himself on top of your body, knees resting at either side of your legs.
“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time.”
The way his raspy voice breaks a little as he ushers his confession makes your stomach twist.
“Do w-what, exactly?”
His hands move on your collarbone, peeling the thin straps of your dress and your bra off your shoulders. You allow him to tug them down your chest as you look up at him with nothing but unyielding passion. His eyes wander over your freshly uncovered breasts and you can see his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, jaw setting hard.
He takes a moment to answer, staring down at you, perhaps struggling to give voice to something that has been swirling against the recesses of his mind for quite some time.
“Push you on a bed, pin your body under mine and… taste you.”
A sharp shiver runs up your spine at his words, heart skipping a beat.
One of his palms closes around your breast, firmly squeezing the soft flesh, while the other lifts the skirt of your dress up to your stomach. Without missing a beat he bends down beneath your thighs and presses his mouth against your panties, just above your lower belly.
“Oh!”
Your hips buck up on their own at the sudden stomach-churning contact. His free hand moves to rest on your upper thigh, pressing your body back against the mattress.
"This is uncharted territory, innit?"
"I-It is, Lieutenant…", you match his playful tone even though your voice is but a mere whisper, struggling to get out in between your ragged breaths, "...nobody has yet claimed that path..."
You hear him hum in appreciation and you feel his voice too, vibrating against your core.
"Don't mind if I do."
You take a sharp breath as you feel his lips press against you again, only lower this time, teasing your most sensitive part. The thin fabric of your underwear does nothing to muffle the intense touch and yet the obstacle irritates you, you want it out of the way and Simon seems to share your feelings. Both his hands move on your hips, grabbing the hem of your panties and sliding them down and off your legs. A thrill curses through your whole body at the sight of your undies being tucked inside the back pocket of his jeans. Simon’s eyes crinkle lightly as they watch your reaction, lips curving into a smirk.
You don’t really care about them now, whether he’s planning on returning them or making you walk out of here butt naked. All your attention is drawn to the cool breath blowing against your delicate skin, turning hot only a second later as Simon leans closer, until you feel his lips meet your heat and cause you to whimper. The cloth of his mask grazing against your folds only adds to the stimulating touch.
His hot tongue swipes up your core once, twice, with hands spreading you wider for him to reach every inch of you. Another slow stripe from your entrance up to your clitoris and your body shakes in ecstasy. He latches his lips to you and starts to suck hard, swirling his tongue around your nub and dragging it up and down along your wetness.
He said it. He wanted to taste you. And that is exactly what he’s doing, with no hesitation whatsoever, nor waste of time. You’re already a quivering mess beneath him, pathetic whines falling from your parted lips, hands closing in fists as fingers dig into the sheets.
“F-Fuck, Simon…”
You feel his soft chuckle against you; it drives you mad.
He shifts from his position, lips pulling away as he grabs the back of your thighs to tug you closer and pin your spread legs to your stomach. You chance a look at him through your heavy lidded eyes. His lips and chin are wet with your juices, the sight ignites a fire inside you that you’ve never felt before. The way you’re spread for him, your privateness so thoroughly exposed for the first time in your life… you thought that you’d be embarrassed, that you’d be awfully shy to show yourself like this, especially to him. You do sense a faint tightness in your stomach and a warmth spreading in your face, yet there’s another feeling prevailing over the rest. A feeling that surges from Simon himself; the way he leans back down, hands travelling up your body to grab your breasts, the way he’s devouring you like a starved man, the way he’s taking care of you, making sure to pleasure you, to make you feel good… It allows no room for awkwardness or discomfort, only a warm pervasive and soothing feeling of pure care and devotion to wash over you and envelope you whole.
The lewd sound of his mouth working against you has long prevailed over the music and it only seems to grow in tone the more the tightening of the heat in your belly grows in intensity. You feel it coming, the high is close. Your hands fly toward him, landing on his head. You grab his mask, tug at it, feeling it slip from its place, then you freeze abruptly, as soon as you realise what you’re doing. You look down again, instantly meeting Simon’s hard stare. A strange glint passes over his eyes; he seems to ponder something for a moment then come to a final decision. In a few dismissive moves, he pulls away from you, grabs the dark fabric curled under his nose and yanks it off his head, throwing it carelessly on the floor.
Your heart is sent into a frenzy. It no longer knows what to do; whether it should keep thundering in your heart for the intense and building pleasure or stopping altogether for the shock of what you have just witnessed. Your wide eyes wander toward him, curious and hesitant at the same time but they only catch a glimpse of his bare face before he disappears between your legs once again, latching his mouth on you even more greedily than before, possibly feeling more free in his movements without the mask impediment. You want to watch him, stare at him as he drives you to heaven but your head falls back on the mattress, eyes squeezing shut and back arching sharply as a wave of skin-crawling chills sets your entire body aflame. It is nothing like the orgasms you’ve had before, when you touch yourself. This is a new feeling; it’s intense, it goes to your head, it makes you dizzy and wordless. It makes you feel loved.
Simon keeps moving against you, tongue curling at your entrance, gathering up the fruits of his hard work. His hands still pinning your thighs close to your stomach, fingers digging in your soft flesh as he eases your shakes.
Your mind is still struggling to come out of the haze when your hand blindly travels down in search of him. Fingers tug at his short locks of hair, urging him to come up to meet you. He lingers a moment longer to press a soft kiss on your swollen bundle of nerves, then on your lower belly and between your breasts as he makes his ascent. Finally he faces you, eyes meeting again.
If your body wasn't already heavily overwhelmed, the sight of his beautiful sharp features would send all your senses into overdrive.
He looks at you so openly, dark eyes twinkling with adoration and what you can only read as vulnerability, that you find yourself unsure of how to act.
Would this special moment turn awkward if you were to make a comment on his looks? You wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Removing his mask must take such an effort… you don’t want to risk making this more stressful for him. You opt for keeping your comments to yourself, at least for now.
Instead, you let your hand rest on his face, caressing his skin, softly, slowly, as if it’s the most fragile thing in the world and you have to handle it with utmost care. You hope that by doing this you can show him and reassure him that everything is ok, nothing has changed, surely not for the worse. That you deeply appreciate the fact that he decided to let his guards down, to be vulnerable with you. That’s what you try to convey with your adoring gaze and your tender touch, and you sincerely hope it reaches him.
When you feel him lean into your touch, a content smile spreads on your face and you instinctively tilt your head up, capturing his damp lips in a passionate kiss that instantly rekindles the desire inside of you. Simon matches your eagerness, hands travelling down your body to caress, grab, squeeze, grope and tease anything he finds on his path. You do the same, mapping his muscular torso, skimming your fingers down to his navel.
For a moment, only a moment, you hesitate to go lower as you get caught up in your head, worries threatening to hold you back again, but the way he interrupts the contact of your lips to place a trail of sloppy kisses down the sensitive skin of your neck makes your worries fade again and you slip your hand inside his unzipped jeans. You relish in hearing the guttural sound that rewards your action; it compels you to rub your hand over his boxers with more confidence, feeling his bulge with a light squeeze.
Simon hastily brings his hand to his waistband and tugs it down, his boxers receive the same treatment. Your hand now closes around his erection, giving it a few tentative strokes. He draws a sharp breath.
“ Bloody hell , princess…”
He mutters in the crook of your neck and you shiver. His reaction encourages you to increase the vigour of your movements.
“Is this ok?”
He hums softly, hips starting to buck in sync with your hand. He lets you fondle him, drag your fingers on the tip wet with precum, make him moan in pleasure as your hold around his girth tightens… then he pulls away, grabs your hand and brings it to his lips for a soft peck on its back.
You follow his movements, eyes drawn to his lips then flickering down to his cock. By the touch you assumed it was pretty big and the sight only confirms your thoughts but it shocks you anyway.
You hear him huff a laugh through his nose.
“Do you think you can take me, mh?”
Your eyes dart back to his face, meeting his amused look.
“I don’t know…”, you bite your lips, the angles of your mouth curling up in a playful smirk, “but I sure as hell ain’t gonna back down from a challenge.”
Your heart soars with joy seeing his face crack into a pleasantly surprised expression, a chuckle coming out of his mouth.
“Good girl.”
He pins you with his mesmerising gaze, bending down on you again. He leans on the side, toward the bedside table. You crane your neck to watch. His hand slips into a black smoking-bowl and comes back with a small metallic sachet. Protection. Of course. This place is well-equipped. Your curious eyes keep following his movements as he takes the condom and secures it onto his throbbing erection. You swallow as his gaze moves back on your face, your stomach starts churning again. He seems to sense your nervousness and leans down, hand grabbing your jaw, eyes piercing right into yours.
“Don’t worry, princess. I’ll be gentle.”
You nod with a smile, then take a deep breath.
“It’s okay. I trust you, Si.”
He leans in for a quick soft kiss, hand guiding his erection between your legs, tip rubbing against your slit to coat it in your wetness. Your whole body tingles in anticipation.
“Stop me anytime if you need to.”
He waits for your confirmation before he slides in, bit by bit, easing you to the intrusion. An instant groan comes out of his mouth.
“Oh, you’re so fucking tight!”
Your brows furrow, your jaw sets, soft cries come out of you as he settles inside your walls but you don’t stop him. He kisses your neck, right on the spot he learned that makes you quiver the most, your hands clutched at his sides. It doesn’t take long for the nagging feeling to fade and for you to get accustomed to the sensation as your core stretches to welcome him fully.
Simon feels your body relax and starts to push into you, slowly, carefully, letting out pleased grunts of his own. His hands wrap around the back of your thighs and lift them up to his waist. You latch your legs around his body, a maneuver that allows him to bury his cock deeper inside you and that causes a loud moan to erupt from you.
“G-God… That’s…”
His lips trail back from your neck to your jaw, teasingly brushing your skin, until they hover on your open mouth; his eyes take in your contorting features with a pleased smile.
He rocks at a steady pace against you while his hands roam your body, travel up your hips, caress your breasts, skim along the shape of your arms, stopping only to let his fingers interlace with yours, and pin your hands down to the mattress, at either side of your head.
You feel your lucidity slip from you completely. No coherent words come out of you, only a nonsensical mumbling. The way he’s thrusting inside of you, so deep and precise, hitting that perfect spot at each push, it takes every fiber in your being not to scream out loud and make the whole pub know how Simon’s fucking you sensless.
You can only focus on how you’re connected to him, how he is filling you up so beautifully, how your bodies move wonderfully together; it’s almost like a dance, a primal animalistic dance that belongs to you two only. You even have the music to accompany your dance moves, a soft sensual melody that perfectly complements your passion-imbued union of trembling bodies.
So this is how it feels to have sex? This is how it feels to be wholly consumed by lust and desire? Or could this overwhelming sensation simply be Simon’s doing? To have him make love to you?
“Y/n…”
It takes a lot of effort for you to hum back in response.
Simon’s lips crush clumsily against yours as his movements become frantic and sloppier. He must be close to reaching the high. And so are you. Your eyelids are heavy, your sight slightly blurred and unfocused.
“Si, I think I’m about to-”
He pulls away from your lips, spine straightening, piercing eyes landing on your face as one of his hands slips from yours and travels along your body, down toward your core. He deliberately rubs your slit with his palm before he picks up a hectic waving motion to stroke your swollen nub, immediately triggering a shock wave of shivers to spiral up your back. Your head spins at the additional stimuli. Your eyes squeeze shut, cries fall out of your mouth as you contort in pleasure.
You feel his other hand grab your jaw and shake it lightly, demanding your attention.
“Eyes on me, beautiful.”
You look up at him with glazed eyes, dizzy and yearning for your release. With every stroke and every thrust you lose yourself more and more into the bliss.
His hand settles on your neck, closing around your throat, not hard enough to delay your breathing but providing you with such a thrilling and wicked pressure that makes you salivate and that instantly sends heat flaring in your belly, causing your need to build faster and even more intense.
Panting hard, your hands now free, you grip onto Simon’s strong arms while you progressively lose focus on every way he’s indulging your desire, instead centring your heightened senses on the feelings he’s awakening. The last thread of restraint then finally snaps and you reach the peak, core lightening with an answering flame that you’ve never felt before. You lose yourself in the waves of pleasure overtaking you, barely taking notice of Simon’s rutting inside you once, twice, three more times before his body goes still against you and a deep groan erupts from him. Both of you anchor the other’s body, pressing together, relishing in the other’s shudders and panting breaths. You’re so flush against him that you can feel his heart, challenging your own in a speed race and then gradually slowing down.
Chest heaving, you cradle the back of his head, letting your fingers thread between the roots of his hair, while he blows his hot breath on the crook of your neck as you both ease down from your highs. The warmth of his body is comforting against yours, you never want him to let go. The rousing feeling of his cock still buried inside you, resting between your fluttering walls is one you could easily get used to. It almost takes your breath away when Simon slides out of you, leaving you bare.
His damp lips press against your boiling skin, trailing up your jaw. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, committing this idyllic moment to memory.
His thumb gently strokes your chin, fingers resting upon your cheek. When you open your eyes, he's already looking at you with the loveliest smile you've ever seen graze his face. You return it with one of your own.
"Si..." you pause, staring deep into his eyes. There's so much you want to say, a multitude of emotions running wild and untamed inside of you that needs to be addressed and yet you struggle to find the right words to tell him how you feel.
The realisation of what has just happened downs on you. You've spent years fantasising about this moment, fearing the real thing wouldn't even come close to your idealised perfect first time. Wondering when, where, with whom you would live through this experience. You're euphoric to admit to yourself that the real thing has surpassed the fantasy by a landslide.
"I'm... glad it was you."
It sounds silly when you say it. You could have chosen from a billion other thoughts you had swirling in your head, yet this one drowned out the rest. But as silly as it may sound, it’s the truth: you’re beyond thrilled he was your first. There’s no other man in your life that you trust, respect, and love as much as him with whom you could share such intimacy.
You see the angle of his lips curl up to one side, the pad of his thumb softly brushing the outline of your bottom lip.
" I'm glad it was me ."
Your face cracks as you erupt in a giggle. With your palm against his cheek, you gently push him away. "Simon..."
He smiles down at you, his eyes crinkling as he leans down again to kiss the crown of your head before drawing all the way back and getting off the bed.
Your gaze follows him as he tosses the used condom into the trash can and pulls up his underwear and jeans. As he picks up the rest of his clothes from the floor and gets dressed again, your devoted gaze glides up and down his body, a permanent smile engraved to your lips. You feel so lucky to be able to witness such a sight… You still have a hard time believing your eyes.
“Now, who’s enjoying the show ?”
His amused glance meets yours, and you give him a sheepish smile, followed by a shrug.
"I'm just taking it all in..."
"Oh, you've already taken it all in , princess."
You let out a shocked scoff, your mouth wide open. You dismissively wave your hand in front of your face and shake your head, as you feel a crawl of heat flooding to your cheeks.
"Oh, shut up..."
You love his sense of humour. It’s one of the qualities you like the most about him. And now that you’re… well, even closer to him, the sarcasm is only bound to get more pungent. Not that you’d complain about it.
His low chuckle fills your ears as you distract yourself by adjusting your bra and dress, then taking a seat on the side of the bed to slip your boots back on. You notice a heap of black and white fabric on the floor at your feet and bend down to pick it up. It's his balaclava.
The thought doesn’t even have time to fully form in your mind that you’re already pulling the mask over your head. Unfortunately there’s no mirror in the room to check your reflection, to see how the skull fits you but the cloth feels surprisingly nice against your skin and… you can smell his scent.
The sudden lack of rustling from behind you causes you to spin around and you find Simon staring at you, holding your jacket. He walks toward you, handing you the garment, reaching then for your face to adjust the fabric on your nose and on your chin. He stops to give you an appraising look.
"It looks better on me."
You chuckle, smacking him playfully on the chest. “Oh, c’mon… what if I want to wear one, too?”
"And hide your beautiful face? Negative.”
“Well, then…”, you pin him with a challenging look, palms pressing hard against your cheeks, securing the mask on your head. “I won’t let you hide your beautiful face, either.”
You see him softly shake his head as he huffs a chuckle through his nose. After a moment, he reaches for his back pocket and retrieves your undies, waving them high above your head.
“What? You’ll put those on your head instead?”
You try to suppress the laugh by biting on your lips but it erupts out of you anyway, like a river in flood. The pointed look he gives you only makes it worse.
“Alright, alright…”
Still snickering, you pull on the fabric and peel it off your head, holding it out to him.
He takes the mask from you but doesn’t let go of your undies. He puts them back in his pocket as casually as he took them out.
You scoff, tilting your head to the side. "Really?"
“I’m keeping them, as a memento.”
You stare at him, appraising his solemn expression. If he wants them then you’ll let him have them - the fabric is ruined anyway. They're not even your favourite pair, thankfully.
“First and last time you steal something from me, Si!”
“Can’t make promises, princess.”
Your chest swells as you try to read between the lines. It's inevitable. You can't help but wonder if he means to tell you something else. Will there be a next time, or multiple next times? Does he plan on stealing something else? Like, your heart? To be honest, he's already halfway there, but he doesn't need to know that. At least not yet.
You keep on looking into each other's eyes for a bit longer. You think you can detect the profound fondness behind his look. Your lips curl up in a shy smile.
“Ehm… I believe we kept the guys waiting long enough." you say, breaking the silence. "We should get back downstairs."
He gives you a curt nod but instead of moving away, he draws closer to you. Taking your chin between his fingers, he leans down and angles your head to brush one more kiss against your lips. The contact is strikingly gentle and it takes your breath away. It’s a kiss infused with unspoken words of devotion, promises, feelings which are too strong to be shared so early on but that are already there, growing, blossoming. Both your hearts are gardens in bloom.
He pulls away, resting his forehead against yours for a lingering moment before taking a step back and disguising his face once again.
The action saddens you but at the same time it fills your chest with pride; you're the only one who has been blessed to bask in the beauty of his seldom-seen bare face and no one else will receive such special treatment. Not today. Hopefully never. Is it selfish of you to wish that? Perhaps, but you don't care. Not when images of your lovemaking are still so fresh in your mind. Not when you can still feel the worshipping touch of his hands and tongue on your body. Certainly not when the cool, humid air of the room hits the wetness of your exposed core beneath the dress.
You exchange a knowing look before moving towards the door and walking down the stairs together. That soothing tune, now linked with poignant core memories, floods in your ears once again, growing louder as you return to the main area and towards the bar. Your team is still at the counter, exactly where you left them... how long ago? You have no idea how much time has passed. You were too engrossed in your passion to pay attention to the outside world and its trivialities.
Johnny glances behind his shoulder just as you and Simon make a beeline toward the group. You can see his lips moving; he must be saying something to the others because they all crane their heads to look at you before returning to their drinks. Soap is the only one who whirls around, bivouacing on his seat and all over the counter like a fucking braggart as he meets your eyes and winks at you.
Oh, he'll take yours and Simon's hookup as a personal victory, and he'll brag about it; you already know it. But you're far too happy right now to be bothered by it. Let him gloat. You're the one who got the reward, anyway.
When you eventually make it to the bar, no one acknowledges your arrival. Nobody says anything about your absence or the dance prior to that. Their silence only serves to emphasise that they are all aware of what happened. The furtive glances they cast your way, some more mischievous than others, serve as plain confirmation.
"Now that we're all here, I suppose we can head out."
The captain's voice calls out to everyone as he stands up from the barstool. "Unless the two lovebirds fancy one last drink?"
You try to ignore the appellation he used and the way your stomach flipped in response. You raise one hand and shake your head, avoiding his eyes as well as the urge to glance up at Simon. "I'm good."
A beat.
"Alright then. Off we go."
On cue, everyone gets off their seats, some knocking back their glasses, others stretching their legs. You take advantage of the shuffle to walk over to Johnny and hold out the key to him. He takes it back without a word but the sly smile playing on his face is hard to miss. You hope at least he has the decency to hold off of grilling you for deets until you’re back at the HQ.
You seem to catch a movement in your peripheral vision: Price giving Simon a firm pat on the shoulder? You’re tempted to turn your head to take a better look when a loud scoff interrupts you and draws your attention back to your best mate.
"Bloody hell, y/n! You and L.T. are not joking around!"
Your brows furrow upon hearing his remark and when you follow the trajectory of his stunned look, your eyes widen as they meet the cloth of your undies poking out of his back pocket. You spring into action right away, grasping the exposed edge to yank it farther inside his jeans. Simon’s own hand reaches behind him to wrap around yours, fingers interlacing, as he maintains his focus on Price in front of him. Your chest swells at the gesture, heat rising in your cheeks, but you manage to turn around and zap Johnny with a fierce glare anyway.
He makes a show of zipping his lips and throwing away the key. However, the grin he flashes you is so contagious that you find yourself returning one of your own.
It appears like you're in for a ride full of taunts, jokes, knowing looks and funny name-calling. Your mates will give you two no rest… but who gives a shit about it? Simon said it first. Why should you care? You'll take this and much worse if it means getting the chance to explore your feelings with the man of your dreams and spending many more nights out - or inside his spacious office - dancing together.
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PLACEMENTS THAT INDICATE ONES A GOOD SINGER
Please take all of these predictions with a grain of salt I'm not a professional astrologer.
FOR ASTRO POSTS HERE IS MY MASTERLIST
This post indicates all the placements that can make one a good singer or one can end up have a good voice
However one placement cannot decide everything one needs to see an entire chart into consideration
Hi @xomoongirlxo here's the post you were asking for
When I have to notice such placements I tend to focus on 3 planets in particular MERCURY, VENUS & NEPTUNE. One rules communication the other artistic abilities and the last one mysticism. And that to me is a singer. Some even say Neptune is the higher octave of Venus which is even better.
🎹 Mercury in Capricorn or Aquarius
Natives with this placement tend to be good at both singing and well as rapping. Be it hitting the high notes or singing a rap verse these people can do both. Highly talented individuals. Their also very good at writing lyrics or making catchy beats.
🎹 Earth or Fire Mercuries
These people just add so much energy to any song. When they write a song they uplift people with their lyrics. Dope lyrics and dope songs. I feel they also have good voices more like chill voices. Also good at singing party songs.
🎹 Mercury conjunct Neptune
These people really have the ability to heal through their voices like they could be singing a song that's really sad yet it would somehow make you feel calm as if someone is listening, as if they understand you and your troubles.
🎹 Water Descendants
For this one I would be honest I've seen many celebrities charts which have a water descendant and mind you these are iconic singers lol. But I don't have an apt explanation for it.
🎹 Aries Rising
These people are just born to perform. Most of them are really good at singing and even if they are not they really pick up quickly not only that you would just love to listen to them talk if they don't sing.
🎹 Water Moons [especially Pisces moon]
Water moons tend to have a voice that puts so much emotions into songs, the songs that make you weep or the ones that make your heart beat. Especially Pisces Moons are such great singers haven't met one that doesn't sing well.
🎹 Saturn conjunct Rahu in the 10th house [vedic]
This placement I saw in the charts of many old singers and they had this exceptional voice. If these people nurture their artistic talents people won't be able to come close to them for competition.
🎹 Cancer Risings in vedic chart
These people have such attention grabbing voice you can try but you won't be able to stop yourself from pausing and listening to their ethereal voices. Siren like voices really powerful placement. Can also sing sad songs really well. Even if your happy if they sing it you will feel the pain & sadness.
🎹 Mercury in leo in vedic chart
These people always get the notes right very perfect for singing. Their also quite hardworking and very particular about music too like if it's a falsetto they will sing it a certain way, if they're hitting a high note to f4 then it shall be pitch perfect.
🎹 Venus and Mercury in the same sign [doesn't have to be conjunct]
These people have such an exceptional ability to sing different notes just effortlessly they don't show even a sign of discomfort on their face. Maybe it just comes naturally to them. Many singer who have this placement people love to listen to them sing even for a second. Their well liked by their fans.
🎹 Rahu in the 2nd house [vedic]
Their songs, the lyrics and their voices all together makes them a perfect singer they learn quickly too can make songs sound ethereal or if can nail songs that need to give mystical vibes.
Signs mostly seen : Pisces, Leo, Aries, Libra.
Honorable mentions : Taurus 2nd house, North node/ Rahu in Taurus.
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#astrology#astro community#astro observations#astro notes#astroblr#psychic#spirituality#Placements that indicate#Sakurapandadreams#astrology for beginners
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Bringing back Only then
I've been missing Jikook so very much and watching song edits, cause why not, right?
And Only then, that is one that is on repeat for me.
JK's cover of this song is so damn good.
And I'm sitting there eating my breakfast (tmi of the day?) and watching the edit and reading the lyrics again and it just clicks in my brain.
Obviously those lyrics and JK's choice to cover the song and his unbelievably emotional singing that just draws you in is not something new. This song meant something to him, way back in 2018. Let's not forget that he released his cover for White day 2018, surprise surprise. Yeah, White day. We know what he was doing on White day 2023...
March 2018, following Jikook's Tokyo trip. March 2018, when members were rethinking if, what, where and how to continue as BTS, as artists.
This one wasn't written by him, but it sure meant A LOT to him!!!
Those lyrics.
They meant everything back then in 2018.
But now. In 2024. Looking back at the two of them, and even more so at the last 3 years, these words, they hit me like a freight train.
The lyrics.
Their past.
Their present.
Their future.
The way to love me isn’t hard Just hold me tight like you are now
We don’t know what will happen to us later But I like that nothing’s decided
Who cares what others say? We can’t live without each other, so what’s the problem? We can be more in love together
I can't...
These lines hit even harder now that we know what they went through in 2023 (well, part of what they went through, but we did see on live just how affected JK was), and to what lengths they went to not be separated during their military service.
But this isn't the end of it.
Because the next lines repeat that sentiment.
If you start to like someone else If I get used to not being with you When that time comes, when it’s that time Only then we can break up
And obviously, that ain't happening any time soon.
Nope, not happening...
Not at all.
Oh, and back to this again...
This song, it's lyrics, they just hit so hard.
The way to love you isn’t hard If I smile once more and care for you more
Clip credit to @ nuri நூரி
The way we love isn’t hard If we look at each other like it’s the first time every time
Whether you want it or not, I’m going to hold onto you When I get too tired that I can’t even walk When that time comes, when it’s that time Only then we can break up Only then we can break up
Now I am definitley ugly crying. Bawling my eyes out.
I miss them so much.
😭😭
#Jikook#Kookmin#Minkook#Jungkook#JK#JK covers#Jimin#JM#Jikook hugs#Jikook enlisted together#Only then JK
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perfect, but not for me
pairing: dr ratio x reader
genre: angst
summary: they saw the two of you as perfect. you both were, but the aeons did not make you for each other
word count: 1k
a/n: inspired by the hozier song 'too sweet', i highly recommend you listen to it while reading this! the only reason why i haven't posted in ages is cus it's exam season for me right now, and i've got pretty important ones that will determine my future so im putting that as priority for now!
in the eyes of the scholars at the intelligentsia guild, you and veritas ratio were the perfect couple. your love story was one out of a romance storybook, childhood love, who were polar opposites, the epitome of sunshine and grumpy. they didn’t see how the honeymoon period was waning, how you were struggling to keep up the happy façade.
you saw the world through rose-tinted glasses, your head always lost in the clouds. you were a dreamer, enjoying life to its fullest. yet, veritas ratio was different. he saw the world in its black and white, ugly, organic form. he stepped through life with a logical mind, silently analysing every glance and gesture, as though looking at an equation only his practised eyes could see.
you loved staying up late at night, relishing in the faint glow of warmth from your lamp, illuminating your desk as your mind wandered, drawing ideas from the world around you. some days, you stayed up till the dark, bejewelled night gave way to milky dawns, some nights you slept early. your life was a combination of sporadic bursts of energy.
veritas valued order and routine over everything else. you could recite his schedule off the top of your head: an hour-long bath after work, evenings spent huddled at his desk, grading papers, a helping hand at dinner before he curls up in a nearby chair, nose buried in his book. all this was executed with clockwork precision. once the clock hit 9, veritas would turn to bed, his alarm forever set up for an early awakening.
you loved to douse your coffee in sugar and milk, while veritas could feel the tooth-ache just from watching you spoon the white powder into your milky coffee. he often joked that normal people had coffee with a splash of milk, while you had milk with a splash of coffee.
unlike you, he drank his coffee black, with no add-ins and a straight face. yours scrunched up with displeasure as you imagined the bitter liquid running down your throat.
despite your differences, you still had similarities. the two of you were stupidly devoted to your work.
you savoured any moment you had to sketch, a notebook and pencil never leaving your hands. new ideas flowed from your fingertips. your mind was a never-ending fountain of imagination. there was never a day when the other scholars saw you without a pencil stuck behind your ear or glued to the paper you always carried.
on the other hand, veritas was practically married to mathematics. he held a strong passion for teaching the arithmetic subject, nose always buried in a book, his mind busy gnawing away at a new maths problem.
even with your similarities, there were times in your relationship when you struggled living with and loving such a logical man.
when the nights were sleepy, the quiet seemed to hang, like a thick blanket over the two of you, only broken by the swish of pages turning. you doodled a new design for his plaster head absentmindedly in your notebook. your hands itched to show him, but you could guess his answer: a small, polite smile and nod. he would mutter some surface level praise, before turning back to his book.
before, his quiet praise and small, rare smile made your breath hitch and your face flame. now, it left you feeling desolate and hopeless, like an artist staring at their piece, trying to work out what went wrong.
“why don’t you ever clean up?” veritas’ voice broke through the quiet ambience of the house, his gaze fixated on the papers, piled haphazardly upon your desk, sketches and prototypes littering the floor. his brows were furrowed with distaste, hands pinching at his nose bridge in exasperation.
“i do,” you protested, though guilt and shame was evident on your face. “it’s just…i get inspiration.” you meekly finished.
veritas’ sigh of disappointment made your stomach drop and your heart clench. “no wonder you never get anything done.” veritas’ voice was clipped, “chaos doesn’t ever breed results.”
lately, the air in the house felt stifling, choking the life out of your lives. around the reviered dr ratio, you felt like you were walking on eggshells. everything he said pushed a button in you, and everything you did seemed to piss him off.
he supressed the urge to snap at you every time another prototype found its way into his slipper, while you swallowed back every sharp retort on your tongue. he didn’t understand you. inspiration wasn’t orderly, it was messy, bursts of energy—unpredictable and fleeting.
every word he spoke, no matter how well-meaning, felt like an attack. veritas really had a way with words. it wasn’t what he said, but the disappointment and annoyance that subtly laced his words, their sharpness striking deep into every weakness. you tried to understand his logic, but it was like trying to touch the clouds. you could see it, but no matter how far you tried to stretch, it slipped through your fingers, dancing just out of reach before dissolving into a mystery you would never be able to unravel.
it truly amazed the both of you how long it took for you to realise that this wasn’t going to work. you were simply too different from each other. holding onto this relationship was like trying to jam two pieces of a puzzle together, even when they didn’t fit. the more you tried to make the fit, the more the edges frayed, the corners becoming worn down. the picture blurred, its picturesque scene warped into an unrecognisable smear of colour.
you were as wonderful as an angel sent from heaven, soaring with your head in the clouds, and he was as perfect as a greek statue, steadfast and steady. perfection in your own ways but so different from each other. soft features were not enough to bend marble, no matter how tightly you held on. love, as powerful as it was, could only go so far.
taglist (open): @leehanscorydora, @pastelmitzuki
∧,,,∧ ( ̳• · • ̳) © curated with love by milkbobayun 2024 / づ ♡
#dr ratio#dr ratio hsr#dr ratio x reader#veritas ratio#dr ratio x you#dr ratio fluff#dr ratio angst#dr ratio comfort#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr angst#honkai star rail angst#hsr x you#hsr x y/n#angst#angst oneshot
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