#just a quicky to try out my new tablet

[gotham-snark]

👆👆 Damian trying to be intimidating in The Boy Wonder 👆👆

👇👇 Literally everyone else in Gotham 👇👇

[yoongsisbae]

I posted 1,536 times in 2022

453 posts created (29%)

1,083 posts reblogged (71%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jung-koook

@yoongsisbae

@btssmutgalore

@fanficmemes

@amethystwritesbts

I tagged 1,533 of my posts in 2022

#asks - 274 posts

#just writer things - 201 posts

#yoongs is bae - 146 posts

#sweet readers 💗💗 - 128 posts

#namjoon is daddy - 103 posts

#my bb jay hoesuck 💦💦 - 93 posts

#writer problems - 93 posts

#i don’t have a jk tag so here is jk look at him and suffer - 82 posts

#everybody’s bias kim taehyung - 55 posts

#now that i have followers i can rec all the amazing writers and fics that i luv - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i don’t know if i can handle this level of self reflection rn tbh 😅😅 but i got through all of his songs once and love them so much 💙💙

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Handshakes of a Lifetime - Chapter 9

You snag exclusive fan meet tickets, but as you shake hands with your favorite idols, something strange happens…

Soulmate AU / OT7 x reader

Hey lovelies, miss me? :’D It’s been hard to sit down and just write without any distractions. Also, writing this chapter made me realize I have effectively 15 main characters FML. It was A STRUGGLE, but I finally finished this chapter, hope you like it and can see each version of y/n peeking through at times <3

Word count: 11.6k

Warnings: ANGST, talk about death, but lots of cuddles, but also smut, sleepy sex, edging, quickies, t e n s i o n, more cuddles, morning sex, dom!hoseok because he is and you can't convince me otherwise

---

Against your better judgment you open the link. A radio station had taped some behind the scenes footage. When you track the video to the time...you saw it, your face, going over your notes while the members joke and laugh in the foreground.

Another Facebook alert from your ex pulls down from the top of your screen.

‘Let’s talk?’

The van door opens at that moment, and the members look at your wide eyes full of fear.

--- ---

“Are you sure?”

The question rattles you and brings you back into the present, sitting in a cushioned office chair, in front of a dark oak table, papers stacked in neat piles.

You were lost in your thoughts again, remembering a kind eye smile and a firm grip around your waist. A deep voice in the darkness asking you if you were ready.

Had you been ready then? Are you ready now? Are you sure of anything? You have to answer those questions, you have to find your voice. Answer now, y/n!

“Y-Yes, he doesn’t know anything. I didn’t tell him anything,” you repeat. “He knew I was leaving the country for a new job, that’s it.” Saying it out loud made you feel horrible, but what he did just confirms you had been right not to give your ex any details.

“Do you have any reason to believe he will try to start a rumor, go to the media, or do anything to try to hurt you, BTS, or the BTS brand?” The PR woman looks up from her tablet expectantly.

Ugh, this is not what you signed up for. Or maybe you did, when you signed off on all those NDAs. ‘Stupid stupid, what are you about to do?’ “I don’t know,” you grimace, muttering, looking over to Namjoon, the leader seated next to you. “We weren’t even that serious, I don’t know what more he wants.”

Namjoon places his fingers over your fidgety ones, thumb running along your knuckles. “Everything will be fine, the company handles things like this all the time.”

The PR woman looks between you, “Is there anything either of you would like to share so we can get ahead of it?” You pull your hands away from underneath Namjoon’s, feeling sick under her scrutinizing gaze. He strums his fingers on the table, an apologetic look on his face. Determined now more than ever to fix things. You were, however, determined not to be sick all over the patient PR woman’s papers.

This is your worst nightmare coming to life right before your eyes. This is why it took so long to even entertain the idea of reaching out to Namjoon. The thought of your name linked to theirs in headlines, netizens scouring every corner of your digital past to ruin you makes your stomach turn. You turn your head, searching for the answers to your problems in Namjoon’s determined eyes.

Namjoon takes a deep breath, ready to recite the information the group all agreed on...

--- ---

‘Let’s talk?’ had started it, then your ex became more aggressive when you didn’t answer. The car ride back to Hybe remained tense and quiet. You felt at fault, unloading the troubling information upon the group after such a long day. You had mentioned to Jimin briefly of your ex before, but you hadn’t prepared for an audience when explaining the details of your failed relationship. The group’s leader and his manager were quietly going over the video and your phone messages, while Jimin held your shaking hand in his.

The van travels over a bump in the road and it jolts you out of your thoughts. Was it still your own inner dialogue that now tries to calm you, or was that voice of reason a remnant of your past selves? Or more worrying, was that voice of reason, the last remnant of who you used to be before your life changed? Who are you now?

This time, Yoongi’s calm voice replayed in your ears, to count and focus before you really lose your mind. You glanced in his direction, he kept his head down, and you wondered what he thought of the whole situation. You wondered what everyone was thinking of you now.

As buildings blurred past, you felt like running, you imagined yourself running, escaping, falling through sand, falling through water, always running…

But you were stuck, in a car, amongst the souls you ran with. You didn’t want to run away from them. You couldn’t, even if your toes and fingers felt jittery with fear and anxiousness.

“Hey,” he whispers, “Look at me.” You lift your head away from the window to look Jimin in the eyes. “It will be okay, y/n.”

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441 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#4

BTS (as kisses)

Because I'm feeling sentimental xoxo

Namjoon is a running leap. Checking your watch five minutes before midnight on New Year’s Eve. You find out he's just finished work, so you run. You leave the party, you leave the comfort of knowing you had a guarantee, and take a chance on him instead. You find each other on the street, because he’s running too, two minutes before midnight, and you leap into his strong arms. And as midnight comes, as the fireworks start, he lifts you off your feet, he hugs you in his arms. You don't part lips even after the cheers die down. Two smiles, two noses touching, two promises of I love you.

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662 notes - Posted September 7, 2022

#3

The Woman with the Black Cat on Her Shoulder | MYG

Fearful, they buried them, stomped them into the dirt. Underneath their boot, scared men were unaware the seeds of hope had planted by their own volition. From the dirt and grime, grew flowers, blooms so tall, eclipsing their hatred. You were strong and unwilling to be cut down any more. 

Dystopian Fantasy AU. Shapeshiftercat!yoongi x reader

Warning: 18+ adult themes, dystopian futuristic society (IS IT THO?), graphic violence against women, animal cruelty, attempted SA, mention of suicide, police brutality, angst, sex so soft and sweet and full of consent

Word Count: 9.1k

---

“It’s her,” they said. Whispers in the crowd, repeating the phrase to one another, like a wave of hope rippling over their bodies, energizing their fight.

It was true. She was there, and the crowd could feel her power, her anger, forged from pain. Because it was their anger too. It was familiar, it was a friend reaching over their shoulder and telling them, ‘It will be okay. I’m here now. You don’t have to fight alone. You won’t lose this time, because you have me now.’ 

The rumors spread far, even the law-forcers knew of her. They knew of her as a myth, a story the people would tell to ease the pain of their subjugation. An empty promise shouted at the law-forcers, that one day they’ll be sorry, that one day victory won’t be theirs to take. She was the woman with the black cat on her shoulder. One look into those feline eyes and judgment is swift. 

Some believed the cat is a creature from the underworld. The beast heard the people’s cries and clawed its way up into this world, collecting souls of abusers and assaulters, dragging them back down to its dark home. Some people believe the cat is part of her, she wields and controls the beast like a limb, that she isn’t human, but an angel, the savior of the people.

But she is neither and the cat is neither. She is like them. Born without wealth, without love, abandoned and alone, she grew up too quickly. A sad story told a million different ways by a million different girls. She lived her life as they all did, she worked and worked and worked and worked, and lived. She didn’t want anything more but to live...

You didn’t want anything more but to live, and perhaps it was by some divine intervention, you don’t know, that you crossed paths with a lonely black cat, so small and broken, so desperate to survive like you. You freed him and in ways you could not imagine, he freed you.

---

From the crowd of bodies, the woman with the black cat on her shoulder stepped to the front. Her clothes were black, pants torn and patched, sewn back stronger. A tight shirt so they made no mistake, it was a woman under that mask. Black cloth covering her face and hair, the amount of her hair hidden under her hood. But they could still see her eyes, accentuated by black eyeliner and hatred. And on her shoulder, a large black cat, long wild hair to match its wild eyes. 

The law-forcers stood in a line, guns and shields ready. The angry crowd had nothing but hope now. 

The law-forcers didn’t really believe it was her, looking down at her still. Any woman could find a black cat and pretend. They saw her as a martyr, a faker, their trigger fingers itching to make an example of her.

The cat hissed, mouth stretched wide open and long fangs displayed. The hiss was loud and piercing and the law-forcers flinched, embarrassingly reacting. The crowd jeered and laughed and the law-forcers pointed their guns at the black cat, growing in anger for being made fools. 

You whisper to your companion to wait. Let them attack first. Show the world the true aggressor before them. 

You waited because you knew the beast on your shoulder was a magical being. And the thing about living magic in a world filled with human creation, is that magic and technology reacted like oil and water, coexisting but unable to intermix, and magic was by far the stronger force. 

Red lasers land on you and your companion, but you stubbornly stand tall and the crowd mirrors your actions. The cat growls low and menacing and hisses again. It only took one scared threatened man, one trigger happy finger, and then it was all over...for them.

-

A gun shot rang out, and smoke appears where the black cat on the woman’s shoulder stood, weaving and twisting in the air like black rivers, dispersing and covering the empty zone between the crowd and the law-forcers. Bullets entered the smoke and the magical force created a barrier, stopping them in midair. That is when they all knew, they knew she was not just a myth.

As quickly as the magic appeared, electricity disappeared. The energy sent a shockwave across devices. Cameras and lights, the law-forcers military grade machinery, and all that expensive technology the law-forcers depended on broke and malfunctioned. Precious moments without their weapons that give a perfect window of attack. 

The crowd stands transfixed and the woman screams, loud and deep within her gut…

A roar. 

The black cat appears and reappears, so quickly it’s impossible to follow the cat’s path. Fangs piercing through skin and muscle of the men paid to silence the people’s cries, now crying for help, crying in pain as sharp claws rip through kevlar and tear the flesh from their bones. She runs towards them without fear. That's what the crowd sees, they don't witness her fear of losing what she loves most that carries her feet forward. And then the crowd begins to run forward too, headed straight towards men with bullets ready to fire. 

It’s chaos. 

---

“Dinner’s ready.”

His voice was soft and calming but you startle awake. You don’t mean to, you’re just always on alert and so anxious these days. 

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711 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

Campfire Burning | JJK

A steamy fic inspired by a certain vlive.

I originally wrote a couple lines of this when his vlive first came out and now it keeps raining and I keep getting reminded of JK camping so I finished this! :D enjoy!

Warnings: smut, mostly fluff, spanking u.u, fingering, pwp tbh, soft warm sexy time and a campfire and that’s about it :D

Word count: 1k

---

The fire crackles softly, embers burn slow, wood sizzles and snaps in a chaotic melody of warmth.

It also rains, the droplets patter in a steady rhythm. It makes you sleepy, content, the hushed sounds of nature, a song of fire and water.

But the person next to you, he has an even stronger effect on you than stormy weather or warm bonfires, being around Jungkook makes you feel calm and relaxed and safe.

You nod off in his arms, listening to him tell you about his day, softly singing when he can’t think of anything else to say.

“Are you ready to sleep?” he yawns.

“No, I like it by the fire, it’s warm.” You lean back into the warmth of his arms instead as he laughs, hugging you tighter.

Jungkook relaxes into you too, smells your hair, kisses the top of your forehead softly, wanting more of your attention.

It’s just you and Jungkook camping tonight, in the middle of a storm like two fools. It’s okay, the fire is still going.

Jungkook hums a sweet melody and lays lazy kisses across your cheek, down your jaw, on your neck, purposefully moving against you in ways he knows will rile you up.

But you don’t take the bait, not yet. You close your eyes and sigh softly, smiling. “This is nice.”

“Just nice?” He teases, wrapping himself tighter around you, hands searching for your ticklish spots until you squirm laughing.

“Yah! Well it was perfect.”

“Perfect?” He smiles, taking the opportunity to kiss you, one long embrace, lips pressed tightly against yours. Kiss sweet and strong and exactly like Jungkook.

He didn’t ask you if you wanted to sleep this time, just lifted you into his arms, throwing you over his shoulder.

“YAH! Oof.”

Jungkook snickers, entering the camper with you in tow. You wish you could say it was romantic being carried over the threshold, but as he had you, Jungkook took his time drumming the beat to Psy’s new song, ‘That That,’ onto your bum, laughing wickedly.

So you took your own revenge, in perfect view of his backside, you landed a sneak attack, not holding back. Jungkook cursed and you laughed, which was quite the painful act, your ribs jamming into his shoulder, but you were too giddy to stop.

You probably should have known better than to test Jungkook’s competitiveness, but you both had been drinking, feeling the effects of the alcohol and the exhilaration of being alone together.

So when he throws you onto the tiny makeshift bed, falling next to you, you know what’s coming, his hands already groping your ass, and then…smack!

You look over you shoulder unphased, and he does it again. See, Jungkook likes smacking your ass hard. You’re used to it; the burning imprint of his large hand. It stings, so hot. He does it again.

“You’re supposed to say, ‘ow’,”

“Ow,” you say smirking.

So Jungkook lands a final, hardest, loud smack against your ass, finally making you wince. He cuddles against you, too pleased with himself, so you roll over him. You’re competitive too, that’s why Jungkook loves you.

Your eyes focus on his face in the darkness of the trailer, his sharp jawline, long hair. You run your hands over his toned chest until you find what you’re looking for, your thumbs caressing his nipples. Jungkook moans a soft throaty sigh, biting his lip, pulling his lip piercing into his mouth, teeth biting on the metal. “Mmm.” You smile, bite your lip too, enjoying the effect you have on him.

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1,008 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Fantasy | JJK

You and your boyfriend try out a new form of role play, but it just keeps going wrong…

You realized how underappreciated you’ve become in your long term relationship and you can’t take it anymore, you want romance, you want excitement, you want to be wanted! So what happens? You find the courage to find someone better. You just hadn’t expected it to be Jeon Jungkook, who never took anything seriously, especially relationships. But that’s okay, because you don’t want a relationship, you want to be fucked. And that, Jungkook is very good at… ANYWAYS this is a lot of backstory for a shameless fic about getting railed a bunch of times. 

Warning: sadist!jungkook, yandere!jungkook, masochist!reader, CONSENSUAL-NON-CONSENSUAL, if you don’t like that kink at all, then stop right now, because it is literally what the title of the story is about :’), predator/prey, bdsm, I am not an expert, don’t take this as a healthy portrayal of anything :), drunk sex, dubcon, rough sex, safe word use, gaslighting, breakup, really really bad sex that I truly find more triggering than the CNC :’), over-jealousy, toxic behavior, body shaming, reader calls herself overweight (I never use the other word), fingering, knife play, slapping, oral sex, anal, multiple orgasms, overstimulation 

Word count: 10.6k

---

“Any fantasies?” 

You hesitate.

Your relationship with Jungkook was going well, perfect, actually. It’s probably the best relationship you’ve ever been in, you realize. Definitely the best sex.

It’s funny how what you thought would be a one night stand has turned into this: cohabiting with – cooking each other dinner, dancing in your kitchen to music, fucking in your kitchen to music, fucking on every surface of your shared apartment – and enjoying each other’s company even when you weren’t in each other’s company, when he was on his computer mixing beats and you were on your laptop writing, sharing each other’s lives and becoming the couple all your friends groan about because you can’t keep your hands off each other. Because Jungkook, like you, had a Guinness World Record breaking high sex drive. And almost Immediately, the very night you decided to hook up with your long time friend, you discovered how compatible you were in the bedroom as well. 

But this, was a bit different.

FIRST TRY

You finish chopping vegetables for dinner, cleaning the cutting board under tap water. Your boyfriend comes up behind you covering your mouth first, pressing his body close to yours next, so forcefully the counter’s edge digs in your abdomen. You grunt against his palm as he pulls your head back, hand squeezing your breast harshly.

“Shhhh,” he calms you down, lips pressed to your ear, picking up a knife from the sink. You stay as still as possible when he runs the knife flat side against the front of your body, up your stomach, between your breasts, tantalizingly slow. And then lets the knife’s tip go under your shirt, turning it, slicing the fabric.

You gasp in surprise against his palm, your noises muffled. He tightens his hold on your body, voice deep, angrier, “Don’t make any fucking noise.”

Jungkook flips you around, pressing you into the wall between the fridge and pantry. Hands wrapping around your throat, straightening your body, he kisses you hard, pushing his tongue inside your mouth. You moan, opening your mouth wider, letting him have his way.

“You’re not supposed to let me kiss you,” he breathes in. Hands pulling at the torn fabric.

“Oh? Oh, sorry.” You moan, “I’m sorry, you’re just so sexy, and I want you so badly,” you speak between kisses, “I can’t help it.” 

He smiles and sighs, carrying you to the bed instead. “We’ll try again,” you giggle. “I’ll be better, I promise.”

FOUR YEARS AGO

You look yourself over in your bedroom mirror, there’s so many straps and lace and ties across your body. You turn to the side and pull in your stomach, wishing you were twenty pounds lighter, so your rolls didn’t stick so noticeably through the tight straps of your lingerie. 

You turn again, twirling around to look at yourself from all angles, admiring the expensive intricate lace. It wasn’t a perfect fit, but overall you felt good, sexy even. It’s been so long since you did up your hair and makeup and tried to be sexy. You didn’t know if you even could be sexy anymore, but looking at the reflection in your mirror, you almost saw the old fun version of yourself again, attempting to break free. This was it, your final attempt. You were going to save your relationship! And show the love of your life that you were just as in love with him as the day you first met. Because you really were, and you missed him. You missed what you had. Somewhere along the way, you had stopped giving each other the attention you both deserved, Somehow it just all went wrong...

Before leaving the bedroom, you pulled on a silk robe, hiding your surprise. You felt self-conscious and unsure, but excited! You haven’t had sex with your boyfriend in weeks. And the last time you did have sex with him, you couldn’t even come. You had fallen into a rut.

“H-Hey-” you hug your boyfriend from behind, kissing his cheek.

“Hey, give me a minute.” Your boyfriend doesn’t even look at you, too busy concentrating on his video game. Ugh. You hated video games. You hated his gamer friends who preoccupied all his time, with their inside jokes, begging him to stay one more hour, two more hours. And you fucking hated that phrase most of all. ‘Just a minute.’ A game minute was not a minute, a game minute was half an hour if you were lucky. You didn’t always hate video games, but now, all you felt was disdain every time you heard the repetitive fighting noises, the ‘cheerful’ music constantly on loop in your house that made you want to rip out your own ear drums. You hated it.

You stand in the center of your apartment, watching bright blue light flood the empty living room. Your boyfriend is laughing with his friends, smashing the keys of his controller, his undivided attention given solely to the gaming monitor in front of him. 

You call out his name, pull the ends of your robe down lower. Just a tease of what’s to come. A preview of what you were offering if he just reached out and took it. He turns to look at you quickly, smiling, “Five minutes! We’re in a raid, I’m sorry!” Just like that, laughing again with his friends, yelling into his mic. 

As the seconds tick by you felt more and more conscious of how ridiculous you looked. How ridiculous you were being. How unwanted and unloved you felt. You pull the ends of your robe tight around your body, your eyes beginning to sting with surfacing tears, your throat painfully dry. Why couldn’t he just look at you, see you? Why couldn’t he just want to be with you?

You quietly turn around and walk back into your bedroom, sit down on your bed and look at your reflection again. You hear faint cheering, the game play restarting again, your boyfriend calling his friends for more backup. And you continue to stare, unable to move, weighted down by all your hatred and pain and heartache.

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1,829 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[ineffablewives]

I'm currently working on chapter four of my beigguang modern au, so here's a lil snipped of sunday's update!

I'll leave the ao3 link at the end!

Beidou wrote down the order before quicky walking towards the counter, handing it to Xingqiu to have it prepared.

The boy grabbed the piece of paper, squinted his eyes at it and then asked: “What the heck is this?”

“Three glasses of sparkling white wine with snacks on the side,” calmly replied Beidou, leaning on the counter to rest a second. 

Xingqiu of her just sighed in defeat, whining in a low voice: “Why can’t you write in a decent way?” as he hurried to go grab teh flutes.

Beidou just scoffed at him: “My handwriting is decent enough, worry about yer own shitty one first,” and she was right, nobody ever struggled with her calligraphy but everybody struggled with Xingqiu’s.

“Why can’t you use the tablet like the other waiters do?” replied the boy with a somewhat irritated voice as he worked.

“Cause I don’t get paid enough for this shit,” said Beidou as she positioned her eyepatch better. The tablet was used to send the orders directly to the kitchen, it was easier, but she wasn’t entitled to have one.

“You don’t even get paid, you do this for free!” replied Xingqiu with a louder whisper, probably irritated by the conversation while he was trying to open a new bottle of wine, his fingers fiddling with the cork.

“Exactly!” concluded Beidou with a smirk, pointing a finger gun at him, then running away in the kitchen to get the snacks for the order before the boy could reply to her provocation.

Thank you for reading!

Here's the link, if yall wanna check it out and leave a comment i'm more than glad

[mcfiddlestan]

WinterFrost Single Dads AU

Hey, ya'll. Told ya I was working on this thing. I've got about six chapters done, but I'm not ready to post it to AO3 just yet. One big reason for that is I don't have a title yet. So I thought I'd post a couple of chapters, let ya'll get a feel for it, then take any suggestions you might have.

Just a small note: I tend to name fics after song titles that inspired the story or somehow fit with the plot.

Anyhoo...here's the first chapter. I *might* post the second tomorrow. We'll see how the response to this goes.

xoxo, La

Pairing: Loki x Bucky Barnes (there are others past and future, but I'm not giving them away just yet)

Rating: M

Word count: 1,775

Summary: Loki is living a great life as a Manhattan lawyer and constantly partying with Tony Stark, his best friend. Loki's life before he came to New York more than a decade ago is a mystery for those close to him. But it's all about to come to light when he gets a call from someone in his past.

Bucky is just trying to catch a break. A few hookups with a fellow soldier led to a quickie marriage and baby -- and two years later, a quick divorce. His daughter is now eight years old and the light of his life. But he can't seem to get his shit together. Struggling to find a job and keep a hold on his sobriety, it's a one-night stand that gives him the kick in the ass he needs to be the man his daughter believes he is.

Warnings: Mature language and situations, some drug use, and talk about addiction.

Chapter 1

The sound of his front door opening and closing pulled Loki from a deep sleep. So deep, it took him a moment to remember where he was and how he knew that was his front door. His eyes opened slowly, once, twice, and then again, to nothing but the darkness of what he was sure was his bedroom. Then he felt the pounding, incessant, pulsing around his entire head. Damn migraines. Loki let out a low groan, thought fuck it, and buried his face deeper into his pillow. Moments later, the door to his bedroom pushed open.

“Rise and shine,” a deep voice sang.

Loki grumbled at the familiar voice, and slowly, he turned his body, rolling onto his back. “Why are you always so chipper in the morning? Oh, for Norn’s sake!” He threw a pillow over his face as the curtains pulled open and let the blinding daylight flood the room. “Close them! I’ve got a damned migraine!”

“Ooh. So sorry, Mr. Friggasson. There’s a cup of tea on the nightstand. Would you like me to get you some water and a couple of ibuprofen?”

Another groan sounded through the room as Loki forced himself to sit up. “Yes, please,” he answered as he rubbed at his face before reaching for the two pillows to prop them up behind him. In his sleepy haze, he remembered to pull the bedsheet over his lap to keep his modesty. Loki reached out for the teacup first, cupping it in his large hand as he took a gentle sip. “Mmm, perfect. Thank you, Fandral. And, for the thousandth time, please stop calling me Mr. Friggasson.” He sipped again, ignoring Fandral’s giggle as he rummaged through Loki’s closet. “What time is it?”

“A quarter to eleven.”

Loki sputtered into his tea. “Quarter to eleven? Why did you let me sleep so late? I have meetings today.” Loki hurriedly set his drink down and started to rise, gathering the sheet to wrap around him. Fandral was suddenly there, nudging Loki back into the bed, “Relax, Loki. You’re fine. Your early meeting was canceled, the board meeting at the Tower was pushed to Thursday, and Mr. Stark canceled your lunch meeting.”

“Cancelled? Why?” Loki settled back in the bed, rubbing at his neck. “He didn’t say. But he left the message for me before three am, and there was a lot of noise in the background. So, take a guess.”

Loki snorted softly. “That’s your boss, Fanny. Don’t judge.”

“You’re my boss. Mr. Stark only signs the checks,” Fandral said through a smile as he laid out a pair of pants and a shirt on a chair in the corner for Loki to wear for the day. “Once the morning meeting was canceled, I thought I’d let you rest a little longer since you didn’t have to rush into the office.”

“Thanks,” Loki muttered from behind his cup.

Fandral gave him a nod and turned to head around the corner towards the master bathroom.

“Any other messages?” Loki called as he set the teacup back on the nightstand. He sat back, his face contorting in pain, willing the migraine to ease up. He made a mental note to see an optometrist already.

“Yes, a few. Natasha called. She got a lead on the security break from a couple of months ago, I guess? She said she’d have a report for you on the improvements she’s already made with F.R.I.D.A.Y.” Fandral stepped out with a small white bottle in one hand, a glass of water in the other. He handed the water to Loki before popping open the bottle and dropping two white tablets in Loki’s open palm. “Also, someone’s been trying to get a hold of you all morning. He’s called four times already. No real message, just ‘need to speak to Loki urgently.’ Someone named Thor.”

Loki went still. He swallowed down the pills and water in his mouth, watching Fandral’s retreating back. A million different questions ran through Loki’s mind, but he couldn’t decide on just one to ask, nor would Fandral be able to answer any of them, judging by what he’d just said. Fandral returned from the bathroom, and Loki hoped he didn’t look as panicked as he felt. “Someone named Thor, you say?”

Fandral, staring at his phone, made a noise of agreement. “Sounded foreign, but I couldn’t place the accent.”

“Norwegian.” Loki shook his head dismissively when Fandral looked at him with a quizzical look. “Did he say how to get a hold of him?”

“Yes. At least, I have the number for you.” Fandral lowered his phone, eyed Loki, who’d gone much paler in the last thirty seconds. “Are you all right?”

Not in the slightest. “Yes. Uh, Fandral, I’m going to take a shower.” Loki rose from the bed, his migraine still there but hardly forgotten. He held the bed sheet tight at his waist and walked around Fandral. “Listen, if he calls again, tell him I will call him back as soon as I’m free. If he doesn’t, when you hear the water stop, give me twenty minutes, then put the call through.”

Fandral frowned at Loki as he followed him with his eyes. “Sure, boss. Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

“Fandral. I’m fine. Will you order some food? Get me a sandwich, please. Something toasted, turkey.” Distracted, Loki didn’t wait for Fandral to confirm. He walked into his bathroom and started the water in the shower, then moved to the sink. He stood before the mirror for a moment, thinking, fretting, irritated. Why would Thor be calling him after all this time? What could he possibly have to say to Loki? After more than ten years of no communication, Loki felt as if they were strangers.

The steam began to fill the room, fogging up the mirror, so Loki dropped the sheet and stepped under the spray. He let the hot water wash over him, easing the ache of his muscles. He took the showerhead in hand, adjusted the setting of the water, and held it over the back of his head to let the hot water pummel the skin of his neck and his scalp, hoping to make the migraine go away. Though with the newly added stress of a phone call with someone from his long-forgotten past, Loki wasn’t sure it would go away now.

Washing his body and hair quickly, after just fifteen minutes, Loki stepped out and went through the motions of grooming then getting dressed. When he stepped out into the living room, Fandral was just taking his food from its delivery packaging.

“Did he call?”

“No. Feel any better?”

Not at all. “Much. Fandral, could you give me some privacy?”

He froze with a wrapped sandwich half out of the bag. Only his eyes moved in Loki’s direction, “Um, sure? Do you want me to come back in, what, an hour?”

Loki shook his head. “No. In fact, why don’t you take the rest of the day off?” Fandral dropped the sandwich on the table and faced Loki fully, crossing his arms. “Don’t look at me like that. Nothing is wrong. I just don’t know how this conversation is going to go, and I’d rather not have an audience if you don’t mind.” He spotted a bag of chips and snatched it up, ripping it open to pop one into his mouth.

Fandral, still frowning, reached into the bag once again to split the napkins between the two of them. He repacked his meal, then lifted the bag from the table. “All right. Your phone is on the counter. I input the phone number since he called the office, not your cell phone. And – I’ll be available, just in case.”

“Thank you. Fandral.” Loki gave his back a quick pat as he paused beside him. “I mean it. Thank you. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Well, I think we both know that’s a mutual feeling.” He reached for Loki’s arm, giving his wrist a quick squeeze. “Call me later? So I know you’re all right?”

Loki nodded and didn’t move until he heard the door close behind Fandral. It was true; he didn’t know how he would function without Fandral. They were classmates in law school, and both started at equally prestigious firms upon graduation. They were good friends but fiercely competitive, too. Loki credited that manic drive to one-up each other for getting him to the top five percent of their graduating class. But after a few years, while Loki had been on the up-and-up, Fandral was drowning, barely keeping his head above water as a tax lawyer. Loki watched one of the first friends he’d made in New York crumble under pressure and struggled to help him find a way to deal. Eventually, Fandral walked away from the six-figure salary, the company car, and all the perks that came with it. Loki was impressed that Fandral

dared to do it. After a few months of getting help and finding a better mental space, Fandral moved off of Loki’s couch into a modest apartment that was a fraction the size of the loft he was in before and looked for a less-hectic job. Loki had snagged a cushy position as Stark Industries’ in-house counsel, thanks to his friendship with its C.E.O., and was still getting settled. Managing New York’s richest son’s money, company, and public image was turning out to be a full-time job. And Loki needed help. He’d already recruited Natasha Romanov, a former N.Y.P.D. Officer, he brought her on for her computer and investigative skills. So he offered Fandral a position as his assistant. Fandral took it and promised to be the best right-hand man. Loki expected he’d be bored within a month just answering phone calls and setting up meetings. But Fandral’s duties, mostly taken on of his own volition, had grown exponentially in the past five years. He acted as assistant, maid, valet, and social buffer for the notoriously introverted Loki.

Loki would be a mess without him.

Because he was starving, Loki wolfed down half his sandwich and chips, grateful that the shower, the food, and the medication had helped relieve the worst of his migraine. Taking a deep breath, Loki picked up his phone from where Fandral left it for him. His thumb hovered over the screen, over the unknown phone number. And with his heart in his throat, Loki tapped it. He listened. He waited. And, finally, after three rings, the line picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Thor.”

[the-blind-geisha]

How the heck do u use a mouse??! 😱😱

I get that question a lot, or people seem to think it's insane. lol It's really not.

Sadly my mouse curser isn't going to show up in these, but here we go. If you look to the far right, you'll see I have New Vector Layer selected.

Now, no matter what brush you use? It's going to act like a vector as you see here. Each point? You can push, pull, move, ect as you want.

The downside to this? Well, you really have to try and give yourself line diversity without it looking clunky. When you have an art tablet, it's a bit better and easier, I imagine, as you're using different line strokes to give that variety.

However, the very bottom on the left side? That's where your 'correct line' stuff is.

You can see the ends now have thinned a bit in appearance. It's because I chose adjust line width and I narrowed it. You can thicken or thin certain parts of the lines you make. You can even connect lines and simplify lines, add points on your line, ect. It makes inking for a mouse user like me easy.

The last image I made:

You can see some of layers off to the side there. Lot of overlays, folders, ect. (Yes, I name some of my folders/layers so I don't get lost in my abyss lol).

When it came to the background art? I found an easier and quicker way to do the formations you see there in the background than just wiggling a mouse back and forth.

Grab the lasso tool and make any crazy shape you want. I mean, the world is going to be whatever you want it to be. Go wild.

Add what details and stuff you can using different colors on the color wheel that feel right to you and your picture. Lock the layer or clip layers (more forgiving) as you want to to add these details. I didn't go too nuts with the background, because I wanted it to be a simple painted piece. Nothing too intricate.

You can even note (as I hid the character) that I didn't fully realize the cloud behind him in the upper right. I didn't see the point. I only finished what was needed as this was a quickie piece.

And that's it.

For me, it's super easy, but I guess that's like asking how a blind person gets around day by day. When you've done it for many years, it just becomes second nature to figure out how to adapt to things. However, I am sure an art tablet would solve all my woes of doing things the hard way to a degree. x3;

[nicolewoo]

Daddy Please Part 2

-Pairing: Joe Anaoi X Reader (Roman Reigns X Reader)

Warning: SMUT SMUT SMUT Spanking SMUT SMUT SMUT

Note from the author: I’ve spent a good portion of the day trying to write this despite having a dreadful day. I’m exhausted, so I’m not even proof reading it. I’ll get to that tomorrow, but here it is.

Enjoy Part 1

Joe and I slept at the club. It was a neutral point, and we were exhausted after the night we had. He offered to take me home after our shower, but I was too tired, and I didn’t have to be in the office …. well… anytime soon. After the 6-month long trial in Florida, I’d earned a break. I emailed my assistant that I would be late at the very least and may take the whole day off. I also instructed her to have a new pair of cuff links sent to Henry’s house with a thank you note. “He’ll know what for.” I added so she wouldn’t ask questions.

Joe curled his body around mine, spooning me tight as we slept, and I reveled in it. Being without a dom for 2 years was difficult, but the hardest part was sleeping alone. Henry had spoiled me by letting me sleep with him most nights, and I hoped Joe would want that also.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A hand brushed over my side, pulling the sheet and blanket off me. I moan as the cold air hit my skin, and Joe shushed me. “It’s ok, baby girl. I’m just checking your body.” His fingers explored my skin, stopping when he reached my hip. “Is this ok?” he asked as he pushed into the bruised skin of my hip. It didn’t hurt bad, but it was tender.

“It’s ok.” I said. I was much more concerned about my vagina. He had fucked me wild last night, and I could already feel the tenderness of the skin without even touching it.

He sat on the bed, covering me up to keep me warm and bent over to kiss me. “I have to go to work.” The sun wasn’t even up yet.

“What time is it?” I asked and heard him chuckle.

He brushed my cheek with the back of his fingers. “It’s 4 am. Go back to sleep, baby girl.”

I tried to figure out how much sleep we’d had but couldn’t quite shake the sleep fog out of my head. I knew it was just a couple of hours… Maybe 3? Either way, it wasn’t enough. As sleep began to pull me down, I stopped worrying about it and just relaxed. “I’ll call you later.” He kissed my forehead before leaving.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I woke feeling completely new. My aching need had been sated, and yet, my body craved more of Joe. I smiled as I remembered last night.

When I went to the bathroom, I found Joe had left me a note taped to the mirror.

Good morning, beautiful. Last night was perfect and I can’t wait to see you again. When you wake up, call the front desk, and they’ll bring you breakfast. I’ve already ordered, and I expect you to eat at least ½ of what I give you. I’ll call you around lunch time. I’m hoping we can start contract negotiations tonight. Relax and enjoy your day and Thank you.

The note made me smile as much as the memories of last night. Next to the note was a bottle of Ibuprofen and some numbing cream. I took advantage of both, spreading the numbing cream over my hips and letting the ibuprofen help with everything else. Now that I was up, I could feel the aching in my muscles. I hadn’t used some of those muscles in 2 years, and they cried out for attention.

I drew a hot bath and called the front desk as I waited. “This is Y/N. I’m supposed to call you for breakfast?”

The desk attendant didn’t miss a beat. “Yes, ma’am. Would you prefer coffee or tea?”

“Coffee please with lots of sugar and cream.” I requested.

“How would you like your eggs?” He asked.

“Scrambled, please.”

He acknowledged me and said breakfast would arrive in the next 15 minutes. That wasn’t enough time for a long soak in the tub, but maybe the hot water could work out a few muscles before breakfast. I climbed in the tub, cursing at the heat, but knowing the hotter the better.  

After my bath and breakfast, I dressed and attempted to fix my makeup, to no avail. My phone dinged as I was finishing my hair.

Morning babe. How did last night go? It was Henry texting me.

It was wonderful. Thank you for connecting us. Really! Thank you!

My pleasure. I was getting worried about you working so much and not taking care of your other…. Needs.

I laughed at the idea that he wouldn’t just come out and say my need to be a sub. After all, he was once my dom, and we were still great friends. My “needs” are met, although I suspect more will arise soon.

Lol. Enjoy your day babe. Ann says hi.

Tell her I said thanks and I’ll probably see her tonight.

You’re coming back to the club? Two nights in a row? I figured you’d be with Joe tonight.

I chuckled. I’m still at the club. We stayed here last night. We still have to negotiate a contract, and I think the club would be a nice neutral place.

Agreed. See you tonight.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

My cell phone rang, and I let the car pick it up. “Y/N” I announced.

It was my assistant, Alyssa. “Ma’am. I have a Joe Annooowhy (she fumbled trying to figure out how to say it) …. Something like that. Would you like me to forward the call to you?”

My stomach rolled in anticipation, but I was able to keep my professional demeanor. “Yes please, Alyssa.”

“Good afternoon.” His deep voice through the speakers of my car vibrated through me surrounding me in warm waves and memories of last night.

I sighed happily, “Joe.”

He chuckled. “Miss me baby girl?” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Sounds like you’re relieved to hear my voice.”

I thought for a second. “I am.”

“Thought I wouldn’t call?” He asked.

“No. No that’s not it. I just…. It’s corny.” I laughed to myself.

His voice lowered another octave. “Tell me, baby girl.” He sounded amused, but I wasn’t going to defy his order.

Should I actually say this? Being a sub felt odd after all this time of being alone. I tried to remember how I did it with Henry. I was easily able to separate work me vs. sub me. I’m out of practice now. What would Henry want? He’d want me to say it. “You sound like,” I paused. “home.” As soon as I said it, I was afraid I’d said too much.

“I like the way that sounds.” I could hear his smile in his voice. “So, tonight, Henry and Ann have invited us to dinner. I’ll pick you up from your office at 6.” He wasn’t asking.

“I wasn’t going to go to the office today.” I admitted.

He paused for the briefest second. I’d thrown off his plan. “Alright. I’ll pick you up at your house?”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was ready when my doorbell rang, and I rushed to get to the door quickly. Joe looked amazing, and I couldn’t stop my smile when I opened the door.

We crashed into each other. All hands, lips and tongues, fingers grabbing with need. Our moans and grunts filling the air as we desperately tried to find relief. Joe pushed us through the front door and closed it behind him with his foot. “That made it worse.”

I pressed as close to him as I could, and it still wasn’t enough. “Made what worse?”

He pulled my hair back gently and kissed his way down my throat. “All day long, all I wanted was you. Now that I’m here, I want you more. Why the hell did I accept Henry’s dinner invitation?” He asked between kisses.

I knew what he meant. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with Joe. Alone, naked…. There was a good chance negotiations would take hours, and dinner would make the day even longer. I melted into Joe’s kiss; my head clouded with lust. I needed to focus. “Because Henry doesn’t take no for an answer.” I said.

Joe pulled away to look into my eyes and paused before chuckling. “You’re right.” He took a deep breath and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. “We should get going.” He peeked at the clock on my wall.

I looked slyly up at him, “We could have a quickie?” I brushed my fingers over his crotch.

He grabbed my hand and pulled it up to his lips. “Baby girl, there are only 2 things I want to do quick tonight. Dinner and the contract signing.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes daddy.” He hugged me tight.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“You know, I deserve credit for hooking you two up.” Henry said as he stretched his arms out and wrapped one around Ann.

Dinner had been amazing. The food, the conversation, everything. I got to see how Henry and Joe interact. They were better friends than I had known, and they were happily laughing at stories. Between Henry and his boisterous personality and Joe with his intimidating size and loud laugh, Ann and I barely got a chance to talk. I sat pondering these 2 men. Both of them had giant personalities, and incredibly good looks, and whenever they entered a room, they commanded attention. Now, with both in the restaurant, it almost became a power struggle, but somehow it worked.

“Henry,” Joe said straightening up. “I’m sure you’ll understand. I quite anxious to start contract negotiations. We’re going to head out.” Joe stood and gave me his hand.

When Henry and Ann both chuckled, Joe shot them an un-approving look. “Joe, it won’t take near as long as you think. She probably has an envelope with 3 different contracts in her purse.”

Joe looked from them to me as Henry and Ann stood. “Don’t be ridiculous, Henry.” I said as he hugged me. “It’s all done on a tablet now.” I patted the side of my purse for effect, and we laughed more.

“We won’t hold you up any further.” Ann said as she hugged me. “He’s a great guy,” she whispered in my ear. I smiled fondly at her as I mouthed thanks to her.

“Ready, baby girl?” Joe said placing his hand on the small of my back. I looked up at him with every intention of saying yes, but when his eyes locked on mine, I couldn’t speak so I nodded yes.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Contract negotiations went perfectly. Henry had really chosen well for me.  Joe and I wanted similar things, and we only had to negotiate 3 points. All in all, it took an hour, which thrilled both of us. Now, the night loomed before us full of possibilities.

“Stand there.” Joe said quietly but forcefully as he pointed to the spot he’d had me stand in last night. He locked the door and hung up his suit coat before coming to me and kissing me deeply. His hands roamed down my sides and slipped under my dress, slowly pulling it up over my head. Stepping back, he surveyed the matching black lace underwear and bra. “Black lace again?” He sounded pleased. I nodded yes as he ran his hands over the fabric of my bra. “You paid attention last night. Thank you. Black lace is my favorite.” He kissed me gently and ran his hands over my ass before walking across the room. He grabbed a bottle out of a desk drawer and poured an amber liquid into a high ball glass before sitting on the desk chair.

As I stood there, he casually leaned back in the chair and sat ogling my almost naked form as he sipped his drink. The longer he sat, the more awkward it felt to be standing there. I assume he was doing it on purpose to push my buttons, and it was working. After 2 years on my own, I wasn’t used to such obvious leering. The complete silence in the room was just making everything worse, and I was grateful when he spoke. “What are you thinking?” He asked.

I don’t know what I expected him to ask, but this wasn’t it. “I’m wondering why you’re not touching me.” I admitted quietly as I looked at the floor.

“You don’t need to look down tonight. Just be yourself. Talk to me.” He crossed one leg over the other, resting his ankle on his knee. Each move was slow and calculated and screamed dominance. “Maybe I’m thinking about what I’m going to do with you tonight. What do you want me to do?”

Slowly, I raised my eyes from the floor to him. “I….um…. whatever Daddy wants.” I said, which he smiled at.

“Daddy wants to know what you want right now. Tell me the truth.” He stood, took a sip of his drink, laid the glass down and came to stand in front of me.

“I want to make you happy.” I said, and he stepped forward another step, standing close enough for me to feel his body heat and smell his cologne. “I want….” His eyes locked on mine and I couldn’t answer. He just stared down at me, towering over me, somehow dominating me without even saying a word.

He had smiled at my inner brat last night, so I tried to stand my ground. I challenged him with my eyes and my stance. I tried. I stood still for what seemed forever, him so close to me I could almost feel his heartbeat. I tried, but eventually the dominant in him overpowered my inner sub, and I looked down.

I could hear the smile in his voice, “Good girl.” He kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around me, his large hands covering my ass. It had been a power play. This whole thing had been a power play. I should have known. Mentally I chided myself for not understanding what was happening. Without warning, he undid my bra and pulled the lace down my shoulders and tossed the bra onto the desk.

I took a deep breath as the cold air hit my nipples. “Cold, baby girl?” he teased. I wanted to make a smart remark but instead I just nodded yes. “I’ll warm you up soon. Just wait.”

Wait? Wait? I’d already been waiting. He pulled away from me, untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. I peeked up as the edge of his Samoan tattoo came into view, and resolved not to smile, but good grief, he was beautiful. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, he quickly pulled the tie out of his collar, circled me and grabbed my wrists, pulling them back and using the tie to bind them together tightly. He tested the tautness of the knot, but still asked, “Is that ok?” I quickly nodded yes. “Good. So, you’re wondering what I’m going to do to you? You don’t get to know that. I decide that and you accept it. Is that understood?” He ran his hands down my sides until he reached my underwear. Hooking his fingers inside the waistband, he slowly dragged the material down. “Step out.” I did, and he tossed the underwear onto the desk with the bra.  

He grabbed my hips and turned me until I was facing him, but he didn’t rise. He stayed crouched on the floor. He looked up at me with a devilish grin and quickly pushed his hand between my legs. “Spread your feet.” He commanded, and I obliged. He crouched for a moment, drawing out the suspense before finally running two fingers over my slit. “You’re very wet.” He teased me.

I gasped as his fingers ran over my slit again, “Yes, daddy.”

“Do you want daddy to lick you?” He asked.

I looked right in his eyes as I begged, “Please, Daddy, Please.”

I wasn’t even done saying it before he pushed his face into my crotch and he flicked my throbbing clit with his tongue. My head fell back as I moaned in delight, but just as suddenly as he started, he pulled away and stood in front of me. “On the bed, on your knees.” I walked over to the bed, but just as I was getting ready to climb up it, he wrapped his hands around my waist and helped me up.

“Thank you.” I whispered.

I listened as he removed his pants and underwear, desperately wanting to see his dick. When he climbed on the bed behind me, he cupped my breasts with his hands and pushed his erection against me. He pinched my nipples between his fingers, and I felt his hot breath on my neck as he began to twist and pull, gently at first then harder and harder until I yelped. “Very good,” he whispered in my ear. “Henry told me you couldn’t handle much pain, but you did very well with that.” I smiled with pride. “You’ve got a praise kink!” he said excitedly as if he’d just opened a present.

“Yes daddy.” I whispered.

I felt him relax just a bit, “That’s very good, because I like to praise.” He slid one arm down around my waist and pulled the other up along my back until he cupped my neck. He pushed me over until my face was against the bedding. His hand now caressed down my back slowly sliding between my legs and pushing 2 fingers inside me. I cried out. “Does it feel good?” He knew it did, but he wanted me to say it.

“Yes daddy.” I sighed.

“Then fuck my fingers, baby girl. Fuck them like you fucked my dick last night.” He pressed his fingers deeper into me, and I groaned. “Come on. Show me how bad you want my dick.” I pushed back against his hand, and I felt his fingers flutter inside me. I rocked my body away from him and back against him, picking up speed with each rock.  “That’s it baby. Try to get yourself off.”

I had every intention of doing so, but just as my orgasm started to build, he pulled his fingers out of me and brought them to my mouth. “Clean them.” I opened and he slid the two fingers in my mouth. “Don’t you taste delicious?” I nodded my head yes as I wrapped my mouth around his fingers and sucked.

He moaned. “I love that mouth.” I beamed with pride as he laid down on the bed and I could see how hard he was. “Wrap that talented mouth around my cock,” He instructed as he scooted close to my face. Leaning back onto my knees, I positioned myself over him and stuck my tongue out as far as I could. He ran his fingers into my hair, grabbing it as he roughly pushed me down on his cock. I took his full length into my waiting mouth, tasting the pre-cum as I lifted my head. As I flicked my tongue over the top of his head, he groaned so softly I could barely hear it. I slid my lips down his cock again, just deep enough to gag. “Yes, baby girl. Just like that.” He used his grasp on my hair to pull me up and down again and again, and again. “That feels so good.” He loosened his grip and let me play. I explored his cock tip to base, licking, kissing, sucking before taking a ball into my mouth and humming a sound of contentment. He instinctually bucked his hips and crashed into my face clumsily.

He shot up and started doting over me. “Are you ok?” He cupped my face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let me see.”

I couldn’t help it, I just started laughing and completely ruined the mood of the scene. I half expected to get I trouble, but he laughed with me. He reached behind me and undid the tie. “Let’s take a look.” He searched my face. “You ok?” He chuckled.

“I’m fine.” We both chuckled as he leaned his forehead against mine and wrapped his arms around me.

“You might be a little too good at that.” We both laughed. “Lay down baby girl.” He smiled as he climbed between my knees. He pressed sweet kisses up my thighs. When he flicked his tongue over my clit I gasped loud. I felt his lips spread in a smile before he wrapped his lips over my clit and sucked. I forgot I’d even been laughing. His talented mouth reduced me to a moaning mess quickly.

“Daddy!” I cried out.

“Baby?” He asked.

“Can I cum? Please.”

He smiled big again but didn’t look up at me. “Yes.” He slid two fingers into me again and sucked my clit until I was consumed in a wave of warm tingles. He stopped sucking, but slowly moved his fingers in and out of me to extend my orgasm, finally stilling them inside me as the clenching slowed. He gently pulled them out and crawled up to lay beside me with a warm smile on his face. He trailed his fingers over my arm and watched as I rode out the last shock.

He kissed me softly, sweetly as he climbed between my legs. He pressed his cock up against my core and kissed me again while he slid inside me gradually. He stilled deep inside me. “Open your eyes baby girl.” I did and found him looking sweetly at me. When I smiled at him, he began sliding in and out leisurely at first then building faster and harder with each stroke. I tried to focus on keeping my eyes open, but the better he made me feel the more I forgot and closed my eyes.

He stilled when a second orgasm washed over me. “Baby, you’re so tight.” His words caused me to clench again and he groaned. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him in to kiss me. He started fucking me before the orgasm ended which caused another orgasm to start. My back arched and my head snapped back. He wrapped an arm around my waist and slowed his thrusts. I collapsed onto his arm and he laid me down gingerly. Burying his head in my neck, he peppered kisses along the skin. He thrust in and out of me as he nipped and sucked along my collarbone. When the orgasm was over, he kissed me sweetly.

Opening my eyes, I saw his smiled had turned to a smirk. He allowed me a second to process the change before he grabbed my hips and flipped me over and pulled me onto my hands and knees. Violently he pounded into me as hard and as fast as he could for a few minutes before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling out of me as jarringly as he started.

I barely had time to process the change when I felt the riding crop hit my ass hard. I yelped in surprise then moaned as the pain turned to tingling. A swift hard hit landed on my other cheek, and I felt his hands rub over the skin. “More?”  he asked, and I moaned out a yes. Slap Slap. The crop hit both cheeks one right after the other. I yelped, then moaned. Slap Slap. Yelp. Moan. Slap. Slap. I yelped. This time though, the pain stayed longer and the moan came later. Slap. Slap. I yelped. When I didn’t moan, he began to massage the skin again. “Good girl.” He soothed. “You did great.” He kissed each cheek before kissing a trail up my back. When he was close to my ear he lowered his head and whispered in my ear. “Ready?”

No. No. I wasn’t ready. Not for another slap from the crop. I didn’t want to use a safe-word so I paused, trying to lengthen the reprieve.

“Answer me baby.” I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t say no, and I wouldn’t safe out. Not this early in the relationship. “Are you ok?” There was a touch of panic in his voice.

The pain was lessening but I answered hesitantly. “Yes.”

“Did we reach your pain threshold?” He soothed me as he asked, and I nodded yes. “Ok baby. I’ll remember that.” He shifted until the head of his penis pushed against my slit. “Ready for me?” I nodded eagerly now that I knew what he was asking about.

He slammed into me, pushing me forward and down into the bed. He yanked me up onto my knees again and held me with a ruthless grip on my waist as he pulled me back onto him fast and rough. I screamed out in joy as he pounded relentlessly into me for what seemed like hours, his grunts mixing with my screams. I came quickly, but he didn’t slow, didn’t stop, he kept pounding into me unceasingly until his grunts grew louder and he exploded inside me with a loud roar wildly thrusting as he emptied himself inside me.

I collapsed and he slowly lowered us onto the bed, sliding his arm under me and pulling me until my head was cradled on his chest. We laid there, catching our breath. His hands caressed me gently, and my skin tingled with each touch. I sighed, content to lay with him forever, and he was in no hurry to move either. So we laid there touching, kissing, enjoying each other for a long time. “Let’s get you cleaned up and get some sleep,” he said softly. I smiled wide as I realized he wanted to sleep with me.

Part 3

 @mindofasagittaruis​ @lclb13​ @reigns-5sos​

[mymelodyheart]

Starting Over Chapter 31 ~The Unravelling~

A phone rang sometime in the early hours of the morning. Claire knew it wasn't hers, and she remembered Jamie had turned his off. Thinking he must have a second phone she didn't know of, she didn't stir, too bone-tired after they'd made love twice more during the night. She felt Jamie get up, heard his footsteps as he switched it off, then he returned to bed, his hand slipping around her waist to pull her in. His chest against her back was warm and soothing, as Jamie softly kissed the nape of her neck. She smiled and snuggled closer, sleep pulling her back under once more.

When she woke, his arm was hot and heavy around her, and a hand possessively cupped her breast. Sunlight streamed through the windows, and she squinted at the bedside clock, to see the time. It was eight-fifteen, and in their books, they'd slept late. She carefully slipped out from underneath Jamie's hold and walked into the bathroom. 

After a quick shower and pulling on Jamie's shirt, she made her way to the kitchen, retrieving the ingredients for pancakes and hiding the pizza boxes left by Rabbie. She remembered Geillis' love for deep-fried leftover pizzas and shook her head in disgust. Her friend had told her once it was the ultimate Scottish hangover and booze food. Ugh! No thank you, she muttered to herself, thinking of the high-fat content, not to mention the calories. 

She was about to scoop some flour when Jamie hollered her name from the bedroom.

"What?" she shouted.

"Come back to bed!"

"No! I'm making breakfast!" she yelled out, tipping the flour into the sieve. 

He bellowed something incoherent, but she ignored him, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. A few minutes later, his feet hit the floor, and she heard him trudge out of the bedroom. "Morning," he mumbled, his voice still laced with sleep. 

Holding a knife on the one hand, and an egg on the other, she turned around to face him. Her eyes did a full sweep of his body, and she grinned. He stood there naked, his right hand absentmindedly cupping his balls. Seeing Jamie with no clothes on and after the memorable encounter with Rabbie last night, Claire mused it must be a Fraser trait to walk bare around the house. Hair tousled and face all soft in the morning light, Jamie looked charmingly boyish, relaxed and free of the worries he'd harboured last night. "Morning sleepy head!"

"What are ye doing? I thought we were going to talk," he recalled, yawning loudly and clasping his hands behind his back to stretch. 

She winced when his joints began to pop and crack. God, I hate that sound! "Breakfast first and then we talk," she replied, her eyes purposely averting his impressive display of taut muscles and hard planes, and refocusing on the task at hand.

"Can't we do that in bed?" he asked, sounding hopeful.

As tempting as he and the suggestion were and so adorable looking he was right now, she steeled her resolve. "Nope," she answered, cracking an egg into the sifted flour.

He grunted in response as he brushed past her to grab a pair of cups and saucers from the cupboard and switch on the coffee machine.

She turned to look at him and pointed a wooden spoon in his direction. "Oh no, you don't, Fraser! You can't have breakfast if you don't put some clothes on."

Holding her gaze, a slow mischievous smile spread across his face as he wandered over to her spot and planted a kiss on the side of her neck. "Why is that?" he asked, his hands going under the shirt.

"It's bloody distracting," Claire mumbled, ignoring the hot breath on her skin and concentrating on pouring the milk and melted butter onto the flour.

"Mission accomplished then," he murmured, his hands sliding down and slipping under the waistband of her panties.

"Jamie, I'm serious!" she huffed, putting down the whisk and closing her eyes. She started this day vowing not to be sidetracked by their sexual chemistry since neither of them understood the definition of a quickie. Even though their lovemaking was their way of finding themselves back to each other and reconnecting, they still needed to talk to clear the air and get things off their chest. Well, at least that was the case with her. Addressing the elephant in the room was the way forward, and she needed to see this through. The few times they'd been together, Jamie had looked drawn, tired and maybe troubled and she'd put it down to her obvious disappointment whenever work got in-between them. They had enough distractions in their lives without putting her doubts into the melee, and she didn't know when they would have a chance to have a morning to themselves again, especially with the development of Jamie's rugby academy in full swing. It was imperative to keep Jamie at arm's length for now if she was to achieve her plan.

His chest rumbled against her back as he let out a chuckle and squeezed her hips. "Fine, I'll put some clothes on if that will make ye happy," he conceded, slapping her buttocks before backing away. "And meanwhile put that loaded sexy bum away. It's bloody distracting too."

Unbelievable!  She let out a sigh of relief and waited until his footfalls faded before continuing to make their breakfast. Setting the crêpe pan on medium heat, she allowed her thoughts to twist around themselves, and when the most pessimistic outcomes surfaced, she immediately dismissed them. She'd always reminded herself that she's a fiercely independent person, but when loving someone as much as she loved Jamie, a certain amount of doubt came with the territory. She'd never adequately dealt with her insecurities, and thoughts of her lacking kept prodding at old wounds, making them hurt.

After she'd stacked the pancakes and prepared the coconut yoghurt, granola and nectarine for toppings, she prepped the breakfast bar and quickly got dressed. She was just pouring some orange juice into their glasses when Jame came out of the bedroom freshly showered, shaven and dressed in a black long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans. 

"Mmmm, my kind of breakfast," he smiled, plonking down on the stool and helping himself to the pancakes. 

She'd made enough portions to feed the whole street knowing Jamie had a beyond healthy appetite. And even before she sat down to eat, he already downed two glasses of orange juice and drank two-thirds of his coffee.

Minutes later, Jamie pushed his plate and wiped his mouth with a napkin. He ended up eating everything whereas she settled for one pancake, a granola and coconut yoghurt. If she'd eaten as much as him, she knew for sure she wouldn't be able to move for a week. As it was, she barely made it through her portion of granola before she raised the white flag.

Jamie pointed to what's left on her plate. "Are ye done with that, Sassenach?"

She rolled her eyes and handed her plate to him, and then rolled them again when he finished it in one mouthful.

"Where the hell do you put all those calories?" she asked, incredulous. "Looking at you, I'd say you only have two per cent body fat."

He grinned. "I've got hollowed legs."

She crossed her arms and frowned. "I probably did too at one point, but now they're filled out, and I have a suspicious feeling they're still expanding."

"Dinnae do that, Sassenach. Ye're perfect."

She saluted him with her cup of coffee. "I'm not really fussed with my body. It's just that you're a walking, breathing wonder, that's all. Seriously, you have a metabolism of a hyperactive horse."

He laughed out loud. "Speaking of horses," he said, "One day I'll take ye horse riding and trekking through parts of the Highlands, and then we can stay a few nights in some remote bed and breakfast cottage. There are incredible views and locations near Tomich I ken ye'll love."

As he piled their plates and got up, she went to refill their coffee. "But that's not going to happen anytime soon, is it?" She placed a fresh cup of coffee in front of him as he loaded the dishwasher.

"I could disagree with ye, but it would be a lie. I ken we haven't been spending as much time together as I'd liked to. But that's all going to change very soon." He cleared his throat. "I just need a few weeks, Sassenach and then I can fully concentrate on the academy and on us. No more traipsing across the country." He paused for a bit and stared into space. "It's good Willie is in construction, and he's the one designing and refurbishing the complex, so it's been a great help he's overlooking things for me while I'm away."

She cleared the breakfast bar and wiped the top. "I didn't mean to sound like I'm complaining, Jamie. But I have to admit it's been hard not seeing you for long periods." Then she leaned back against the counter and watched him work, sipping her coffee. "I understand that us ...our relationship is new territory for you and I'm still grappling with the idea that you're idolised by a lot of women. Throw in long separation that sometimes lasts a week at a time, we have a recipe for disaster." She took a deep breath and put down her cup. "What I'm trying to say is, we need to find some semblance of balance. The last few times I've seen you, you look withdrawn, beat as if you're chasing something unattainable and I worry what it's doing to us."

He placed a detergent tablet in the dishwasher dispenser and loaded the cutleries into the cutlery rack, and when he's done, he shook his head. "I ken all that, and it's no' what I hoped for us either. I've been so focused trying to tie loose ends so that I could concentrate on the academy and us, but something pulls me the other way, and I get lost for a moment, and I forget everything. It's like I'm needed everywhere, and I'm running around in circles doing my bit to finish off something but never quite accomplishing anything."

Her heart sank. "Jamie, I'm sorry for pressuring you to take this morning off when you could be ..."

"No, Sassenach. No." He walked over to her and braced her face in his hands. "We both need this. And you're more important than any of the things happening right now, but there are things I need to do ...obligations if ye will. But I need you to trust me."

A thought started to niggle at her. "Jamie ...is it the funds for the complex that's bothering you? Have you taken on something more than you can handle?"

Jamie's face fell. "Christ, Sassenach ...no, not at all. It's just that I need time to sort things out ...endorsements that I have already signed a contract for and then that's it. Three weeks tops. And then we can put the celebrity world behind us." When he looked away for a brief second, she could tell he was holding something from her back.

She searched his face, wondering if she was missing something. "You know you can trust me too, don't you?" she asked gently, not wanting to push too hard.

He took both of her hands in his. "I trust ye with all of me. Ye're my world, and I ken it's hard, but I'm doing everything I can so we can be together. I've taken ye for granted, thinking everything will be fine while I focused on things that I thought are important. And then somehow yesterday I had some sort of epiphany that ye're slipping away." He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "That scared the shit out of me. I was arrogant, thinking I could have it all and that ye'll always be there. But I realised all I've worked for would mean nothing if ye're not by my side. Sometimes I feel like leaving everything behind and giving up on my dreams of the academy and taking ye somewhere where we can start all over again ..."

Claire shook her head. "No Jamie ...if you give up on your dreams, you'll only end up losing a part of yourself that makes you who you are. And I don't want you to do that. But I don't want you to lose yourself banging your head on a door that won't open. What I mean is you can't do everything and still come out whole. It's like you are spending so much time treading water and trying to keep your head above the waves that you forget, how much you have always loved to swim. You're starting an academy, and I understand all these self-promotions on the media is giving your project the much-needed exposure. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if ..." She glanced away for a few seconds before looking him straight in the eyes. "...if the celebrity status and the mass adulation is important to you too. I know you've already said you want to leave that part of your life for good but ..."

"No, God, no ...Sassenach. All that pap walk and media presence don't mean a thing. Sure, I'm grateful to all my fans. Without them, I'm just yer regular rugby bloke. But there are things I need to fix, and I've already agreed to do a few commercial shots and photocalls for men's magazine. All I'm asking for is three weeks, Sassenach. I promise after that we'll have more time for each other."

She tried to pull her hands away from his hold, but he did not let go. Instead, she unseeingly stared past his shoulder, forcing herself to look anywhere but at him. "It's difficult for me to say this, but I can't shake the fear that you'll break this promise. You've broken a total of five these last few weeks." She bowed her head feeling like an utter fool for sounding whiny, but she pressed on, this time looking at him squarely in the eyes. "I understand it's all very hectic at the moment, and the last thing you need is a girlfriend putting more pressure on you on top of all the work you're doing, but I need to understand what's going on. It's not your absence that was bothering me ...well, maybe a little. What's bothering me is, I feel like I can't see the whole picture and I feel left out. Perhaps it has to do with us not communicating, and I was left to wonder when I'll see you again." 

Jamie glanced down at their intertwined hands, his expression conflicted. His jaw was tensed, and when he looked like he's about to say something, he stopped himself.

She let out a humourless laugh. "God, I must sound pathetic."

He took a few cleansing deep breaths and looked at her. "No, ye're not! I've been so wrapped up with this project, having ye in my life, and the other obligations that come with it …I didn't even stop to think to ask ye what ye felt about the whole thing. Fuck I didn't think at all, period. I'm such a prick."

She was about to disagree when he stopped her, placing a finger against her lips. "Sassenach, whatever is happening right now ...this is on me. Not ye. I dinnae want ye to feel like ye're a burden. If anything, you are my rock, and you're the one that's keeping me together when there are days I feel like I'd disintegrate into pieces. My life has been one big mess ..." He shook his head like he's angry at himself and then her phone rang.

Ah, damn ...bad timing!  She hesitated for a bit and then stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his. "I'm so sorry, but I have to take that. It's probably my uncle." When he nodded, she ran to the hallway to get her phone.

It was an unknown number; nevertheless, she answered it. "Hello?"

"Claire, dear? It's me, Ellen, Jamie's mother. I'm so sorry to bother ye, but I've been trying to call Jamie all morning, but I keep getting the unavailable voice message. Willie has given me yer phone number. I think Jamie turned off his phone. I ken he's a very busy lad but do ye ken by any chance where I could reach him? It sort of important."

"Oh!" Suddenly she felt guilty for being the reason Jamie had turned off his phone.  Oh, dear, God!  "Hang on a minute, Ellen. He's right here." She quickly rushed back to the kitchen and handed her phone to Jamie, mouthing it was his mother to him.

Jamie took the phone and walked over to the window. She watched from the corner of her eye the way he ran a hand through his hair, his back muscles bunching as if he was bracing for something. 

He glanced over to her. "It's alright ma, I will sort it out."

Claire looked away and focused on putting things back in the cupboard and rewiping the countertops. 

"Aye, dinnnae fash, I have everything under control," he said quietly as he arched his head back and stared at the ceiling. He kept his voice low, but she could hear the strain in his tone. "I love ye too, ma. Aye, I will do."

He hung up and allowed his head to drop before walking towards her.

She took a breath and summoned a smile. "Is everything alright?" she asked as Jamie handed back the phone to her.

"Aye," he sighed, taking her in his arms and planting a kiss on her forehead. When he drew away, his shoulders loosened up a bit but kept his hands on her hips. "My ma needs me to run a few errands for her. But I would like to continue this ...our talk. There are things I should have told ye, but I don't have time to get into it now. Want to sleep here tonight? Or if ye wish, I can come over at yer place."

"I have a late shift, remember?" she reminded him.

"Oh, aye that's right." He pressed a finger and thumb to his eye sockets. "How about I make ye breakfast tomorrow when ye're done with work? And then we'll talk some more."

She nodded and forced a smile. Something was troubling Jamie, and she wished they had more time. Tomorrow would have to do. "I'll come here tomorrow morning, right after my shift. It's nearer from the hospital, and your bed is snugglier than mine," she joshed, trying to lighten the mood.

He glanced at his watch and cursed under his breath. "Ah fuck, I have to go." He took her face in both hands and kissed her like he didn't want to let her go. And when he finally released her, he ran his thumb over her lower lip. "See you tomorrow morning?"

She sighed. "I'll be here."

"Good." He smiled before grabbing his keys and wallet and heading out. 

As soon as the door closed, her phone rang.  Geillis! A breath of fresh sarcasm!

Making her way to the bedroom, she shook off the tension on her shoulders and answered the call. "Hey, you!"

"Hiya chick!" Geillis greeted breathlessly. "First things first ...I ken ye dinnnae like fuss on yer birthday, but Lamby wants to break yer wee family tradition and proposed a surprise party. I ken that would do yer head in if ye were caught off guard; hence I'm giving ye a heads-up."

Claire stopped in her tracks and groaned. It was true she never celebrated her birthday ever since she found out, at the age of ten, her parents died on her fifth birthday. It never felt right to celebrate on her parents' death anniversary. "Good God, what is uncle Lamb thinking? He never liked parties or any form of celebration. What the hell, he doesn't even buy me a birthday or a Christmas card. Has he gone mad?"

"I ken. Lamby took me by surprise, too, when he called me up, trying to hook me into making yer surprise party. Maybe his wee jaunt at the hospital scared the hell out of him, and he thinks life is short and la-di-dah."

"Still, very odd and so unlike him to do that. Perhaps you're right. The trip to the hospital must have really frightened him."

"And ye ken what's odder still?"

"Spill."

"I just saw his neighbour, Mrs Crook at Tesco. Ye ken how she rabbits on about other people's business in Lamby's building ..."

"Yeah, she does like to gossip. I don't really take much notice of her. She's kind though to my uncle, always dropping off food at his apartment."

"Weel, she told me yer Jamie has visited Lamby a couple of times these past few weeks."

"Wot?" Claire's mind started to race in circles, going over through her memory bank, looking for an explanation as to why Jamie had spent time with her uncle despite his hectic schedule. Not that she had anything against it. In fact, she liked the idea of them bonding together. But how many times had Jamie said he missed her, but couldn't come over to spend a little time with her, citing the amount of work he was buried in?

"Apparently while ye've been hankering for some Jamie-love, yer boyfriend was busy having coffee and brandy with yer uncle."

"Coffee and brandy?"

"That's what Mrs Crook said. She walked in one day to drop off a Sheperd's pie and there they were in the kitchen having coffee and brandy. She thought it was sweet of yer boyfriend to come visiting when Frank had never stepped into Lamby's apartment when ye were together. And Mrs Crook told me it happened at least twice. What do ye suppose does that all mean?"

Claire could only shake her head, flabbergasted and at a loss for words.

"Chick, ye still there?"

"Yes, yes, I'm still here," she breathed. "I don't know what to think. Jamie never told me."

"I didnae think so." Geillis was silent for a long while before she spoke again. "I dinnae think it's a bad thing yer Jamie visiting yer uncle. Maybe they're colluding with one another about yer birthday."

"Oh for the love of God!"

"Dinnae fash, hen. I'm sure Jamie has something up his sleeves, and it's supposed to be a surprise. And I ken how much ye hate birthday parties. So when he does surprise ye, please look shocked!"

Claire laughed. "At the rate with all the things happening right now, I think I'll manage to look surprised on the day. Thanks for telling me."

"Weel, as I said dinnae fash. I'm quite sure it's all very innocent even if it seems like they're up to nae good. Anyway, I have to run. I'll see ye when I see ye.

After they signed off, she threw herself into chores around Jamie's apartment to keep her mind from over-thinking. She stripped off the bedsheets and loaded them into the washing machine, and while she was at it, she did the same for the guest bedroom. Even though she had a night shift coming up, she knew it was useless to attempt to take a nap. Her brain would simply go into over-drive thinking about her conversation with Jamie and Geillis. If she were going to have any chance of keeping herself sane, she would have to make sure she and Jamie continued their talk tomorrow morning.

Looking for fresh linens for the beds, she went through Jamie's wardrobe until she found what she was looking for. Everything was neat and tidy, and she wondered if Jamie did the laundry himself or if he hired someone to do it. She grabbed a pile of bedsheets, and as she drew it out, she managed to extract a heavy leather document envelope. Before she could catch it, it fell on the floor, spilling the contents everywhere.

Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!

She hunkered down to gather all the papers that had fallen out, carefully peeling them off the floor so as not to crease them. Before putting them back into the leather encasing, she checked first if they were supposed to be in a particular order. Seeing they were only random photocopies of documents and bank statements, she began to neatly stack them before putting them back where they belonged. As she gathered the last of the papers, she noticed one had Forbes' name scrawled with Jamie's handwriting. Intrigued, she took a closer look. It was a bank statement of money transferred to Forbes' bank account from Jamie, and it was a considerable amount. She checked the date and was surprised the payment was made three days ago.  What the hell?  Piqued, she examined the other papers, and there were two other payments conducted in the last few weeks.

When she was done looking over the statements, she just sat there on the floor, dazed and confused, trying to force her brains to make sense of what she had discovered.

She went several times more through the documents that had Forbes' name, and still, she couldn't come up with an explanation as to why Jamie was paying him money. The evil bastard was in jail, and if anything, it should be Forbes compensating Jamie.

She got up to grab her phone from the bedside table, hesitated for a few heartbeats, slapped her forehead a couple of times before she tapped the screen and called up the hospital. When she got through, she informed the person on the other line that she wasn't feeling well enough to come to work. It wasn't really a lie because all of a sudden she was feeling queasy and out of sorts.

..........

Claire padded over to the window and looked down at the street below. At the end of the road, partially hidden in the shadows of a huge oak tree was Jamie's car. He must have just parked as his headlights were still on.

She walked back to the living area and sat down on the recliner, her gaze dropping onto the bank statements on the coffee table. It had been a warm day for Autumn, but now that it was early evening, it was much colder. She hadn't bothered turning on the heating, too deep in her thoughts to notice the cold.

Moments later, she heard the door unlock, open and close. She stilled her heart, waiting for Jamie to come into the room. When he finally walked in and saw her, his posture immediately tensed, but worry immediately replaced the surprise on his expression. 

"Sassenach, ye're not working!" When his eyes landed on the papers on the coffee table, he stared at it for a few seconds. Then he walked over to where she was sitting and tried to reach for her, but she remained immobile.

"Please sit Jamie. We're going to talk." 

With a large intake of breath, he nodded in understanding and took a seat opposite her, his hands rubbing his face, looking exhausted and worn.

"I wasn't snooping into your things," she explained as if it mattered how she found the bank statements. "It fell out of your wardrobe as I was getting some fresh bedsheets."

"I was going to tell ye about it, I swear," he said, dropping his head. "We've had so little time and so many things going on."

He looked so beaten, she wanted to throw her arms around his neck and forget about those damn bank papers. Instead, she stayed put, the need to resolve the situation paramount. "What's happening, Jamie? Why are you paying Forbes such a substantial amount of money?"

He puffed out his cheeks and shook his head. "I've imagined having this conversation with ye a million times in my head, and whichever way I chose to word it, there didn't seem to be an easy way of telling ye. But I didn't anticipate I'd feel like throwing up." He ran a hand at the back of his neck and took deep breaths. "Everything I've ever told ye, about my past and what I feel for ye are all true. It was never my intention to lie, but I did. A lie is a lie even if it's by omission." He opened his hands as if by looking at it, he'd find the words he was looking for. "Those bank statements ye found, it is what it looks like. I am paying back every penny I owe Forbes."

She swallowed hard, keeping her emotions in check. "I've gathered that much."

"Christ, where do I start?"

"How about from the beginning?"

He stared at her, his eyes clouding as if he was going back in time to relive the past. And then he sighed. "When Forbes first approached me," he began, "I was a young lad, very naive in so many ways. I got caught up with fans' adulation and all the sensationalism after being awarded rookie of the year. My uncle Dougal, who's a former player himself, told me to grab my newfound fame by the balls and enjoy it. I felt like a fucking superstar, and I believed every hype that was written about me. Forbes took advantage of my youth and lack of experience and approached me and told me he could make me even bigger and better. He invited me to his office for a meeting, and with his promise in my head, I accepted."

She nodded as the memories of seeing him play rugby for the first time as a professional flooded her mind. Like all the supporters that had watched the game that day, she had been impressed with his performance. And when she'd seen his close-up photo in the social media, she'd fallen in love with the idea of him.

"So I went to his office where he had all sorts of cameras setup. He'd explained it was for my portfolio. They took a few headshots and plenty of body shots, making me pose in all sort of ways. And then he told me to take my shirt off." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I was confused as to why that was necessary, but nevertheless, I complied. When I couldnae execute the poses instructed by the cameraman, Forbes would come to me and show me how to angle my body, his hand often touching me in places where he shouldnae. And then he told me to undo my jeans' button. When I hesitated for a bit, he reassured me the pants werenae coming off, and that they just needed a shot with my boxer shorts on display to highlight my abs. I did what I was told as I've seen such poses for Calvin Klein campaigns. But when the cameraman requested to lower the zipper, Forbes was immediately there doing it for me. And that was when he fondled me down there."

Her heart faltered. "Oh, Jamie, he didn't..."

He shook his head and continued. "After that, nothing more happened. Even though I wanted to punch Forbes on the face and hated the way he touched me, I blocked the thoughts and presumed it was some sort of test. I went home and thought nothing more it, and five days later I had a call from an Irn Bru rep asking me to do a TV advert for them. I was so excited I immediately agreed, signed the contract with Forbes as my agent and before I knew it, I had a lump sum of a hundred grand, sitting in my bank account. It was easy money, and the shoot didn't last for more than a day."

Without warning, Jamie got up, walked to drinks' cabinet and poured them a whisky. Her eyes followed his every move and nuance in his expression. She could tell, he was trying to keep it together. When he handed her the drink, he returned to his seat.

"Over the next few months, more endorsements came. As Forbes had promised, I became even more well-known and a household name representing all sorts of consumer brands. Money started pouring in, which became quite handy as our family's distillery was still suffering from the brunt of the recession. The family business was heavily indebted then, so I poured my cash into it to save it from bankruptcy, but it wasn't enough. When Forbes found out about our family problem, he offered to help. I refused his offer at first because I still remembered the way he'd inappropriately touched me, and something told me, he would want something in return. As if he knew what I was thinking, he told me straight that his offer for help came with no hidden agenda." Jamie shrugged. "Forbes was a smooth talker ye ken, and I didnae have much experience with people like him. So I agreed to accept his help, and our distillery was saved in the nick of time."

Claire remembered reading about the Frasers' distillery's financial troubles, and the bidding war between Laphroaig and Lagavulin distillery to take over. But she never had a chance to find out what happened next as the story was buried not long after.

"I realised there, and then, I didnae want to be indebted to Forbes because I've always felt there was something dodgy about him even though he'd taken a shine to me. He didnae make any more moves after that fondling incident, but there were hints he wanted to get into my pants. He was careful though and wasn't overtly obvious about it, perhaps he was worried about sexual harassment lawsuits. So I started taking on more PR stunts for brands that returned bigger money so I could clear the loan quicker. It paid off, and little by little, I worked to pay Forbes back. With my parents' help, I made some wise investments on the side, and they kept me grounded for the most part, unfazed by the attention I was getting. I guess Forbes hadnae seen that coming. He thought I'd be out partying after my newfound fame and throwing my money left and right. But I didnae do that. I concentrated on being the best as I could in rugby, and after I became the youngest player to captain a team for Scotland, I received a pay rise. And that helped a lot in going towards what I owed."

Claire smiled at the thought of a younger Jamie, pouring everything into perfecting his craft. She'd always known of his dedication to the sports he loved so much, and over time he became well known for his work ethics, the one thing that stood out whenever she read articles of people talking fondly about him. 

Jamie downed his whisky before he continued, unintentionally slamming the glass on the coffee table. "I had a feeling Forbes was pissed off with me for not being more dependent on him and that I had my life all figured out. He apparently thought if I was reliant on his help, I'd be more receptive to his subtle seductions. Then one day, Forbes held a party in his mansion and invited all his talents and clients. I wasnae interested in going, but I went anyway ...maybe partly because I was grateful for the things he'd done for me despite his indiscretions. It ended up being a great party, and I met a lot of interesting people. I began to relax, and before I knew it, I was drunk as a skunk." He got up to get the bottle of whisky and refilled himself and her glass a healthy measure. When he sat back down, he leaned back on the sofa and squeezed his eyes shut. He stayed like that for a long while.

"Jamie, are you alright?" she asked quietly, watching his throat work.

"Sorry. Just tired." He straightened up and braced his elbows on his knees, his hands clutching the whisky tumbler. This time he stared into his drink as if he could see the memories unfolding there, the muscles on his shoulders and biceps more pronounced, unveiling a pent up tension waiting to unsnap. "I woke up the following morning, and I was in one of his guest bedrooms. I didnae have my clothes on, and I had nae idea how I became that way. Forbes walked in as I woke up, and had a bloody smug smile on him. My first thought immediately I'd been buggered."

Claire stifled a gasp, and her heart floundered. She was about to go to him, but he shook his head, his eyes telling her he needed to see this through on his own.

"I've heard a lot of stories about buggery in the men's locker room and one of the things I learned about it, yer arse would be sore, and ye wouldnae be able to sit on it for days if that happened. That wasnae the case in my state, but still, I wasnae too sure, and I was too angry and troubled to feel anything. Anway, Forbes sat by my bedside and showed me a printed photo, and in it, I was naked and lying on my stomach, and I had an arm across a naked man's body, but the identity of the man was not visible, but mine was. I had a strong feeling it had been staged. And if there's anything I've learned about Forbes beside his obsession for me, he was obsessed with money. I asked him what that was all about. He said it was just a little something to keep his investments in line, referring to me. I knew then if that photo ever got out to the media, I was done. And my sponsors and the brands I represented would drop me like a hot coal, disabling me to earn money to pay back Forbes, meaning I'd be more susceptible to his advances. I dinnae care about my reputation, but I was more worried about dragging my family's name through the mud. They would think I've hoored myself to save the distillery. That would have devasted my ma and da."

"Oh, God, Jamie ..."

"I was frightened, but I tried my best to keep my wits about me. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I offered to buy the photo, and after a while, we agreed on a price. So I paid."

Claire descended into silence, feeling like they were a high-wired duo who'd just come plummeting down to earth. But she still had questions.

"Did you try to get help? Have you told anyone?"

Jamie shook his head. "After I left Forbes' house, I went to see Ned. I told him about my concern that I might have been taken advantage of without telling him where I'd been and about the bribe. I trusted Ned, but he's been a family friend for so long, and he's like a father to me, so I didnae mentioned Forbes' name knowing what he might do. I was already ashamed and embarrassed, having to tell him the predicament I was in and I didnae want him thinking I've sold my soul to Forbes. Ned knew the hospital was a no-go as there were that possibility stories would leak out. So he accompanied me to a discreet private clinic he knew of. I didnae care about the money, but the thought of Forbes doing things to me made my stomach turn inside out. As it turned out, I was untouched except for traces of semen on my back. Forbes probably wanked himself, while watching me knocked out cold. I guess he was smart enough not to touch me because of my family's connection to the best legal team in Scotland. And I dinnae think he would have jeopardised his name and his business for that as he'd often said enough I was too much of a loose cannon. Even though nothing really happened, I still felt violated, so later on that day, in the middle of the winter, I purged myself by jumping into a freezing loch."

Claire winced, thinking he could have suffered hypothermia with no one around to help him and died. "But why did you stay with him after all these years?"

"I was so young and naive back then. I stayed because I thought Forbes was my only means of a way out. I kept him sweet with all the commissions he was getting from me. He had connections to big brand names that would guarantee me lucrative bookings. All that time, my family and the distillery was at the forefront of my mind, and I still had a long way to go before I've paid off every penny I owed."

"He's in jail now, Jamie. You don't need to keep paying him," she reminded him. "Besides, you had those properties in London that could have easily wiped out the loan. Why didn't you use them?"

He let out a humourless laugh. "He doesnae ken about my investments. Only ye, my family and a handful of trusted friends know. If I'd paid him in all in one go, he would have gone snooping into my affairs, and that wasn't any of his business. It'll be a cold day in hell before he found out anything about my financial situation. I've already paid him for getting rid of the photo, but there is still a small amount I need to pay for the distillery's loan. The loan he gave to our family was no secret. A few days ago, I cleared the distillery's debt, that's why mother called earlier wondering if there was some mistake. So the only obligation left is my debt to Forbes. I will not have the rugby academy tainted with his money, that's why I'm returning the money he loaned me, and that's why I'd been taking on other works."

Staring out into space, he took a breather before he continued. "After I was forced to early retirement, I was devastated, not only because I wouldn't be able to play rugby anymore, but Forbes has been piling on bookings I wasnae interested in. It's not because of the money, but they were just any shite endorsements to keep the cash flowing. Thinking I'm nothing more than a cash cow for him, I fell into heavy depression and started drinking. Christ, there were days I wanted to end it all because I couldn't see any way out ..."

"Jamie ..."

"...and then ye came along. You were this light shining in every corner of my darkness." He gazed at her, his beautiful blue eyes filled with such sadness and sincerity, she had to swallow the lump forming in her throat. "And when ye offered yersel' to be my pretend girlfriend to change my image and get the network job, it was like the universe was giving me a second chance to redeem myself. I wanted to keep ye a secret from Forbes for as long as I could, but I knew it was only a matter of time. I could tell he saw ye as a threat when he began to see I was coming out of the hole I've dug myself into. "

Claire crossed over to his seat and knelt in front of him. She took his hands in hers and kissed his fingers. "Forbes got away with so many things, and God knows what those things were." She shuddered at the thought. "I still think Ned could have helped you if you've told him everything that happened."

"Aye. I thought that too. So I told Ned everything that happened all those years ago after Forbes was sent to jail," he admitted, brushing his lips across her cheek. "I ken Forbes could be vindictive, and I was afraid he might do something, knowing he's got loyal cronies working for him." He lifted her in one swift move and settled her on his lap, urging her to lay her head on his shoulder. "That's why I was so mad at ye for going after him. And so mad at myself for not telling ye everything that went on with Forbes. I did try many times, I swear to God, but I was too embarrassed because it would look like I didn't have the spine and courage to leave Forbes' clutches."

She slipped her arms around his neck, drawing him gently in. There's a twinge inside of her pushing against her rib cage - it was a mixture of sadness for the boy he once was and pride for the man he turned out to be. But there's also that spark of hope and promise that's been stifled by problems, trials and doubts, slowly stirring back to life as the picture began to form and make sense. "Jamie ...all these years you've carried all that burden on your own. You saved your family's business and still managed to come out on top of your game. Even after all of Forbes' attempt to break you, you remained steadfast and true to yourself. There is no shame in that, Jamie. I think you've done good and you are truly amazing. It's just a shame your parents will never know what you had to go through, but I'm quite sure they are very proud of you."

He turned her around on his lap, so she was straddling him. "I'm so sorry for not telling ye everything sooner," he whispered, his hands stroking her back and thighs. "With so many things happening, it was hard to think straight at times."

Putting her hands on his shoulders, she leaned down and kissed him, a small, gentle kiss. "And I'm so sorry for doubting you. I may not have voiced it loud, but it must have been quite apparent."

"I instilled those doubts, Sassenach. It was my fault. I promise I won't keep anything from ye ever again. I ken I'm piss-poor at being a boyfriend sometimes, but I'll work hard at being better at it. Just promise me ye willnae leave me," he said earnestly, his hands travelling up beneath her shirt.

She stared at him like she was seeing him for the first time and falling for him all over again. How could she not love a man who would work hard at being better at everything? 

"What? Why are ye looking at me like that for?" he asked, his hands moving everywhere, making it hard for her to concentrate on their conversation.

She laughed out loud. "Like what?"

He stilled his movements and just stared. "Like I just climbed Mount Everest when ye should be angry at me." 

She was having a little trouble holding his gaze. "Maybe because you do look like you just climbed Mount Everest and there's no reason for me to be angry at you. You've been through a lot, and I'm glad you told me everything. Because if I don't know what's going on, how am I supposed to help you?"

He moved her closer, his lips coasting along the hollow of her neck. "So ye'll keep me then? Geillis told me ye told her I'm quite a catch."

"Is that so? The little traitor!"

"Never mind the wee traitor. Ye havenae answered my question."

"What question?" With his lips creating havoc in her addled brain, she honestly forgot what he'd asked her

"I asked if ye'll keep me."

"Yes ...yes ...I guess you'll do!" she said in mock exasperation.

"Good, I can live with that," he murmured. "Now, enough talk and let's make up."

Before she could say anything, he kissed her hard and deep, like his life depended on it, standing up with his arms wrapped around her, he carried her to the bedroom in long, determined strides and kicked the door shut.

[thatesqcrush]

Vanilla

AN: Rafael Barba x Reader. This is for @melsquared79 who suggested the following prompt: #11 - “Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?”

CW: language, smut, some angst

Tags: @madpanda75 @southern-magnolia @ottosuricato @delia26 @dreila03 @sass-and-suspenders @glimmerglittergirl @niyashell @mommakat32. Anyone else, just ask!

“Not for nothing but that’s some vanilla sex bullshit right there,” your co-worker replied, her brow cocked in disbelief.

You had been dragged out to a happy hour with your coworkers. Lots of cocktails and shot were had; very little food was consumed. A buzz had settled over your body and you were at the point where you were spilling tea on everything and everyone. And this time it happened to be on your sex life.

You shrugged, unsure how to respond. Your cheeks were flushed but you weren’t sure if that was due to the alcohol or your embarrassment. You didn’t date in high school or very much in college. After college, you were basically celibate, working long hours, trying to climb the corporate ladder. It paid off, career wise but not in the romantic department.

It was by complete happenstance, due mostly to your klutziness one morning, that you (literally) ran into the man who would eventually become your boyfriend. Spilled coffee, an exchange of business cards and a promise to pay the dry cleaning bill led to dinner and drinks with Rafael Barba, better known to the public as the top prosecutor in the District Attorney’s office.

“We have sex a couple of times per week. He’s very busy; you know how busy I am. So we just do what works best for us,” you continued. “Not everyone has time for whips and chains,” you added with an eye roll.

“Oh honey,” another colleague piped up. “If your man, was my man, we would be doing things all sorts of ways. You can’t tell me he’s satisfied with plain old missionary.”

“He’s always happy,” you protested defensively. You glanced at your watch; it was getting late and the conversation had steered into uncomfortable territory.

“You need to kick it up a notch. Your man is fine as hell - he can get anyone he wants and he’s going to look elsewhere. No doubt,” another colleague added.

You sucked your breath at that comment and decided it was time to leave. “Well ladies, on that note, I am out.”

The women began to protest. “Oh come on, we’re just teasing!”

You shook your head and threw a couple of twenties on the table. “Nah, I’m good.

I’ll see you all on Monday. Behave. Would hate for my boyfriend to arraign you for indecent behavior.”

***

You took the subway home that night instead of your usual cab. The comments of your colleagues began to cloud your mind. You wondered if Rafael was indeed satisfied with the current arrangements. Sure, the two of you weren’t breaking out the Kama Sutra or engaging in fluorescent rope Shibari. You thought about the last time you had sex: you were exhausted from closing a deal and he was stressed from his latest trial. The two of you engaged in a quickie in the bathroom as you both got ready for bed. You both were collapsed in bed just as quickly as the sex was had.

You walked from your stop to your shared apartment. You looked up at the window to your apartment and a light was on. You smiled. Rafael was home early, despite it being close to 10:00 pm.

**

Tossing the keys onto the small bejeweled plate on the table besides the door, you greeted Rafael with a smile who was reading on his tablet. He gave you a lopsided grin. Your breath hitched once more; you were always taken aback by his handsomeness. His hair had started to really grey and somehow, he became even more handsome.

He put his tablet down and walked over to you and pressed a kiss to your lips. The kiss caused you to wobble in your heels and Rafael pulled back concerned. “Are you drunk?”

“No. Yes. Maybe. I went out with the girls, ‘member?” you replied. You pressed your hands onto his chest and stared into his green eyes. “Hmmm.” He felt warm and smelled like a mix of bergamot, cedar and spice. “Missed you.”

Rafael nodded. “I missed you too. Guess it’s safe to say you had fun.” He helped you out of your jacket and kept you steady as you removed your heels, kicking them to the side.

You shrugged once more. “I don’t know. Maybe. I just really want to go to bed.” Rafael could hear the barest hint of a crack in your voice but he didn’t want to push it with you.

“Then lets go to bed,” Rafael replied, taking you by the hand, and leading you to the bedroom. You half stripped, just down to a camisole and your panties. You crawled into bed, not bothering to wash your face or brush your teeth. Rafael climbed in after you and pulled you into his chest, holding you close. You were asleep quickly but the few tears you had shed didn’t go unnoticed by Rafael.

**

The next morning, you woke up with a dull pounding in your head. You looked over at Rafael’s spot which was empty - not surprising. Many times he went into the office on the weekends.

But instead you smelled coffee and could hear the padding of his footsteps. You groaned as you climbed out of bed and patted down your hair so that you didn’t exemplify zombie status when you saw Rafael.

“Buenos dias, chula,” Rafael greeted you with a quick peck. “How are you feeling?” He handed you a cup of coffee, and you took it, sitting at the breakfast bar.

You waved your hand. “I’ll be better with coffee,” you replied. Rafael nodded sympathetically and handed you a bottle of aspirin.

“That’ll help too.”

You nodded. “So you’re home today?”

Rafael nodded. “Yeah, I was thinking we could use some one on one time with each other. I know work has been awful for the two of us. I told Jack to have SVU bother another DA this weekend.”

“Any place you have in mind?” You questioned as you swallowed the aspirin.

“Central Park? The weather is supposed to be nice.” Rafael suggested. “We could grab a bite before or after.”

**

“Please, remind me again why we’re having sex behind a tree?” Rafael grunted as he thrusted into you. You braced your palms on the tree trunk, your dress flipped up, as you were bent over. Your head hung between your arms, your hair swayed with every thrust.

“Because,” you moaned as his cock hit the right spot. “I am trying to prove a point.”

“And that ... that point is what? Fuck!” Rafael groaned, balls deep inside of you.

“Fuck, papi. Don’t stop,” you moaned.

“Never,” Rafael promised, picking up the momentum. The sounds of skin slapping against skin and the sounds of your moans were drowned out by the waterfall in the North Woods of Central Park. Looking to get away from the hustle and bustle, you and Rafael walked along one of the lesser known parts of the park. Feeling auspicious and horny, you decided you wanted to prove your colleagues wrong. Rafael was surprised at your emboldened moves but he went with it.

For good measure, Rafael smacked your ass with each thrust. “You feel so good,” he crooned. “So wet, so tight.” You moaned in pleasure. He wrapped a hand in your hair and pulled gently.

“I am going to...” he warned, his thrusts becoming more frantic.

“Come for me,” you choked out. You took the opportunity to reach below to rub your clitoris.

“Rafael fuck, I am going to cum...” you babble incoherently. “Y/N!” Rafael grunted your name as he stiffened behind you, reaching his own climax. You both stayed there, basking in the moment. Finally, Rafael slipped out, tucking himself back into his pants. He looked around to make sure you were still all alone. The last thing he needed was for either one of you to get caught and land on the registry.

You reached down and pulled up your panties and fixed your dress, smoothing it over. “That was wonderful.”

“That was something,” Rafael chuckled. He picked up the blanket you had brought and took your hand, pulling you close to him. Rafael dipped his head to yours and kissed you. His tongue traced your bottom lip before he gently nipped your lip. You shuddered in his embrace.

Rafael pulled you back towards the path, and you walked hand in hand. You didn’t want to destroy the moment but also you needed to ease your anxiety.

“Rafi, you’re happy with us right? Happy with our sex life?” You questioned so softly, Rafael barely heard you.

“Cariño we just had sex in the middle of the park, where anyone could have caught us. Should I be worried?” Rafael teased.

You didn’t reply and Rafael paused his steps. He cupped your chin, looking you square in the eye. “Is that what that was back there?” You didn’t respond. “Cariño is that why you cried last night? Please talk to me,” Rafael implored.

You sighed and lead Rafael to a grassy knoll, where you spread out the blanket before you both sat. You were delightfully sore from the hedonistic pounding you just took minutes earlier. Your heart began to race, as you began to speak.

“I don’t know. Yesterday when I was out, I drank too much - obviously - and I started to reveal stuff about us. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry for that. But then my coworkers started saying our sex is vanilla and that you’ll leave me because you’re unsatisfied.”

Raul let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He pulled his knees against his chest and wrapped his arms around them. “Okay. Give me a minute to process please.”

You nodded and waited. A minute seemed like forever and you wanted to throw up. Finally, Rafael began. “At the end of the day, I love you. And I’m not going to leave you because we aren’t recreating Twenty-five Acts.”

You chewed on your bottom lip as he continued. “Our sex life is wonderful. Truly, it is. With our schedules, we do the best we can. If you want to try new things, I am a willing participant.”

You smiled brightly at your boyfriend, feeling relieved. “Okay. I just got into my head after what they all said.”

Rafael pulled you so that you were practically in his lap. “You have nothing to be worried about.”

You pushed Rafael down so that he was laying on his side. You laid next to him, facing him and pulled the blanket over your bodies. “Want to give it another go?”

FIN

**

[importantcupcake]

Day 2 post-op

Hi-hi! So, my surgery was a little under 24 hours ago. I didn't sleep at all on Monday night even though I took my meds as soon as MAFS finished and mum went back to pop's. We left at 5:30am and arrived at hospital around 6:30am-ish. Pop drove 'cause nan didn't get any sleep last night- Brett's car like, exploded overnight again, and then the firies came over sooooooo yeah... that was a thing that happened. I heard it but didn't know what happened until morning - I thought it was the Power Station or something! Brett is fine, thank goodness, but naturally he'd be pissed that this happened yet again.

I wasn't allowed to eat or drink as of midnight before the surgery, except plain water with my medication. I was allowed to brush my teeth and use breath spray, buuuuuut I lost my breath spray before we left, and I'm really self-conscious about my breath, so that was ~stressful~ 🙃 I had plenty of mints, but I asked, and mints weren't allowed.

So yeah, pop dropped us off at the front and mum and nan came with me to admissions. Had a COVID test and then got changed out of everything except underwear and into two hospital gowns (one was broken at the side so they put another one over my back) and moved to the surgery waiting area. I was the first operation of the day, so I got in pretty quickly.

[[MORE]]

Got wheeled into the anaesthesia room, where I met my team... my goodness, there was so many people working on this operation, heh. Got the IV in, then my doctor came in and drew up the, uh... guideline? Thingies? Then I was moved on to another bed, they inserted something intravenously, then gave me the mask to breathe into. Dunno how long it took to go under, but my last thought was of that one guy who tried to stay awake longer than his record of fourteen seconds and only made it to two seconds. Edit: Here he is! Still cracks me up 🤣

So I came to, at some point before 2pm. I don't remember much of what happened between waking up and getting to my room. I think I fell back asleep? Then mum and nan came in with my stuff - phone, charger, mints, clothes (button-up shirts, pyjama shorts, pyjama pants, trackies, underwear, dressing gown), toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, dry shampoo spray, CPAP machine... I think that's it, I'm trying to remember everything just in case anyone reading this might need help with what they'd want to bring.

I was kinda going in and out of consciousness the whole visit, and I don't really remember anything... I don't know how long they stayed for, only that I fell asleep again until about 5:30.

Chatted with Jetta and Michael, then had a quickie video chat with Jetta and Max, and their fluffy, fluffy cat, and... pretty much immediately zonked out again, but not before setting an alarm to watch MAFS... I kept drifting off constantly, like I'd be watching one couple, close my eyes, and it'd be another couple or an ad break. Had to re-watch it again this morning so I could properly catch up before tonight's episode.

I couldn't properly go to sleep for the night until I had my tablets, and I got them about 9-9:30-ish. I slept until about 3:30am, woken up not by pain, noises, nurses... but from my crappy, crappy CPAP machine. God I hate that thing. I was supposed to get a new one before I went in to hospital but the new setup would have bled us out of so much money and NDIS couldn't help me again 'cause my budget is really low this year. I was so devo when I realised I couldn't get it, because I knew I'd need good, quality sleep before and after my surgery, and I knew the machine would prevent that. But honestly, I'm glad I even got those six-ish hours. i was expecting a much rougher night.

Tried my best to keep quiet through the rest of the night - I even had a playlist of Quiet Time videos ready: mainly Stats videos, Australian Sign Language videos, HMS2 polymer clay videos, stuff like that. Then I got started writing this here post 📌 and everyone started waking up. Had breakfast - scrambled eggs on bread, Weet Bix and Earl Grey tea. They... also gave me two orange juices, which I'm allergic to, heh. Turns out, it was written down that I had allergies, but there was no specification as to what that allergy was. O... oranges. It's oranges 🍊 No worries though, I'll just take them home and give them to Brett, otherwise they'd just have been chucked in the bin.

The doctor came in after breakfast with awesome, awesome news: My drains were looking really good, and so they will be taken out today, and I'll be going home after lunch! I am absolutely over the moon... I thought I'd have them in for days, possibly even weeks, and even though they weren't quite the horror-show my sooky arse was expecting, they were still very much... there. And very annoying to have around - as I pasted in my notes below, they were clipped to the bed rail and I'd have to call, and wait, for help to get to the bathroom. Add to that, the IV drip and the massive pole THAT was attached to... I was pretty over it already, heh.

So, the drains got "clamped" at 9am, and were out before 10:15am, along with the IV. I was warned - by other people who have had breast reductions and by the nurses - that the removal of the drains would feel weird. And... wow. Yeah. That's an experience I don't even know how to describe. Well, actually, I knew, and did, pretty much yell "Yeah, REALLY WEIRD!" in the world's squeakiest voice 😅 It was only like a second or two, but man. Freakin' weird second-or-two, that was. Yeugh 😶

Some Day 2 Early-Morning Thoughts copy-pasted from my Notes App.

- My drains are a bit super annoying. They're clipped to the bed rail and I can't remove them by myself so I have to press the call button and get help every time I need to use the bathroom.

- It's 4am and I can't figure out how to turn off my second (dimmer) light and I feel like such an arsehole even though all three of my roomates don't seem to be having trouble sleeping.

- Control for my bed is at the foot of the bed and impossible to reach without getting up, and my drains (attached to the side of my bed) are too short. Which I... can't do? Bit annoying tbh.

- I did get my hair done yesterday... not the light-light blonde like I wanted, tbh... in fact it still looks dark brown in some lighting. But I do think she did a good job, and I've gotten lots of compliments! 😊 Mainly, I just wanted an extra change to go with the new body, really... kinda like a uh... idk... extra step away from the old me and all her physical and emotional baggage, if that makes sense...? I still want to go actually-blonde though, so I'm going to do that when I feel a bit better.

- For the most part, my sinus issues and TMJD has been more painful over the past 24 hours than my operation. That's how bad they are... so, yeah, once I'm healed enough, I will be going in for a rhinoseptoplasty as recommended by my ENT and hopefully I can move on from that as well. Also need to follow-up with my TMJD doctor. I was supposed to do that in July last year but pop was real annoyed at having to drive to and from Sydney twice in such a short time that I decided not to tell him I had to go back again so quickly.

- Oh my GOSH I just found another control for the bed on the drawers next to me, I am Boo Bo the Fool.

[eversall]

jimon + friends with benefits!!!!!!!!! ahhhhh

i’ve had this fic in my docs for ages i hope it makes sense lmao. also like can you BELIEVE the obscure pairing i worked in later in the fic like…why the fuck even. i don’t know. my hand slipped when i was finishing this. 

“Okay,” Simon says, stabbing at the air emphatically, “okay, hypothetical. You, versus like, Superman. Who would win?”

Jace groans, rolls over, half-heartedly slaps at Simon’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.” He groans, clearly over the whole conversation. “You just had your dick in my ass, and you can still think?”

“These are important questions, Jace.” Simon says, propping himself up and scratching at his chest as he stares at Jace curled up on his side, hair falling softly in front of his face like some sort of angel. An angel that likes to weave extravagant lies about the Shadow world to trick Simon and then whisper filthy things to him when they fuck.

Jace glares at him, looking like a ruffled kitten.

“Get out.” he says irritably, and Simon shrugs and stands, shimmying on his boxers. Contrary to what Clary says, he can in fact do casual friends with benefits with Jace, thanks for the trust, Fray.

“Don’t miss my skills too much.” He says, winking exaggeratedly as he pulls his shirt on, and Jace groans and thumps his face into the pillow.

“I’d win against Superman.” He mumbles. “I have a fucking sword, Simon.”

.

The first time Simon has any inkling at all that Jace isn’t one-hundred percent straight is when they all go to the beach, on one of Clary’s everyone-has-to-bond kicks that lately Alec’s been endorsing, trying to be a leader and all that, and Jace’s heartbeat just rockets through the roof when Simon takes his shirt off.

“Are you having a heart attack?” Simon hisses, and Jace frowns, pushes his sunglasses up his nose.

“No?” He says, looks at Simon like he’s the one with his heart sounding like it’s exploding. He walks off into the waves, smirking, and dives smoothly into the water, and wow, Simon hates how good he is at that.

“He thinks you’re hot.” Maia smirks at him from over her book. “Obviously.”

“That’s - “ Simon squints at her. She can smell arousal with her wolf senses. “Huh. Okay.”

.

Sex with Jace is good. It’s really, really good.

“God,” Simon babbles, his throat working easily past the holy word as Jace kneels between Simon’s spread thighs, cheeks hollowed around Simon’s dick and a sparkle of amusement in his eyes as he looks up through his lashes, “no wonder everyone wants to sleep with you, your mouth - “

Jace pulls off and starts laughing, his eyes falling shut and crinkling. Simons scowls, arches up into Jace’s touch.

“Shut up, shut up, it’s true, put your hand back on my dick - “

“Yeah, okay,” Jace wheezes, one hand easily slicking up and down Simon’s cock, the other clutching Simon’s thigh as he presses his forehead to Simon’s sternum, cackling like a maniac as he brings Simon off.

It shouldn’t be as much of a turn-on as it is, but the laughter is more fond than anything, and Jace’s smile is nice. That’s the only reason Simon comes with a shout, fingers tangled in Jace’s hair as Jace grins at him, an unrepentant show-off.

.

The first time Jace kisses him is after a training session with Alec, which is a thing that’s happening partly because Alec and Simon are something approaching friends, thanks to Magnus’ insistence, and because it’s good PR for Alec to be helping the brand new Daylighter.

“Better.” Alec says as Simon’s flung to the other side of the room, again. “We’re done for today.” He sounds unimpressed, but he always sound unimpressed.

“Fuck.” Simon groans, rolling onto his back and choosing to stay there. “When do we get to do archery? Seems less painful.”

Alec snorts. “You wanna learn archery? Sure. Next week. After sparring.”

“Alec.” Simon whines, and Alec raises an eyebrow as he steps past Simon’s outstretched legs and goes towards the door. Simon closes his eyes, listens to the sound of the wind picking up outside the windows.

“Did you kill him?” a voice asks, amused.

“Obviously not.” Alec responds as he leaves, and Simon cracks an eye open to see Jace walking over to him, dressed in his workout gear, smirking as he flips his hair out of his face.

“Come on, nerd.” Jace says, extending a hand. “Get up.”

Simon grabs the hand and hoists himself up, and then he’s promptly dropped on his ass again.

“Dude.” He frowns up at Jace, who’s staring really hard at Simon’s arms and looks like he’s considering homicide. “Did you do that on purpose?”

“No,” Jace says, and then, “You’re hot,” which is the worst non sequitur, but then he’s thrown himself down and Simon has a lap full of gorgeous Shadowhunter and his mouth is too busy kissing Jace to say anything mean about Jace dropping him, and then their tongues slide together and Simon just gives up on thinking.

.

Sometimes Jace corners him in the most inconvenient places, determined beyond all belief to have semi-public sex. It’s a streak of exhibitionism that isn’t helped by the fact that he can now stele-lessly keep his glamour rune activated for as long as he needs.

Like, Simon’s all for this great fuckbuddy thing they have going, but around the corner from the DuMort is not how he wants this to go down.

“Stop, stop,” he’s laughing as Jace mouths at his neck, “the clan’s gonna find me and stake me.”

“They’re not going to stake you.” Jace mumbles into Simon’s skin, and then he bites, his blunt teeth setting Simon’s nerves alight. Simon’s laugh turns into a breathy half-moan, and he clutches at Jace’s shoulders.

“They are.” He says. “Also it’s like one in the afternoon, everyone can see us.” Jace lifts his head up, tightens his grip on Simon’s waist, and just looks at him. The sun is high in the sky, filtering through Jace’s hair, everything in high color. Simon kind of wants to die (again) at how beautiful Jace is, how sincere his eyes are.

“I can’t believe you’re saying no to sex.” Jace says finally, peeved. Simon rolls his eyes.

“I’m saying no to a public quickie.” He counters. “Anyway, you know what’s better than sex?” Jace gives him a look, so Simon barrels on, “Milkshakes!”

“You’re out of control.” Jace shakes his head, but he’s smiling. Simon hums.

“I’m craving milkshakes.” He cajoles. “I even brought my blood flask, to make it vamp-friendly.”

“Alright.” Jace ducks down, presses a kiss to the corner of Simon’s mouth. “Let’s do that then.”

Simon’s chest begins to ache.

.

The first time they have sex is weeks after they kiss. Simon spends most of the time in between quietly panicking and sniping at Jace more than usual.

“This,” Alec says, waving a hand at Simon and Jace both glaring at each other across the mission table, “needs to stop. I don’t care what’s happening. It’s bringing morale down.”

“It’s not - morale? I don’t work here.” Simon says.

“Thank God for that.” Jace snaps, and Simon bares his fangs at him. Duncan, passing by, flinches backwards.

“Vampire, “ he hollers, clutching his heart like an idiot, “the vampire’s getting angry!”

Raj reaches over and shoves him without even looking, intently focused on his phone, still playing Candy Crush like he’s eighty years old. “You can’t say that, you douche. It’s just Simon.”

“Simon,” Duncan persists, “who is a vampire - “

“You wanna try me, Duncan?” Jace suddenly snaps, turning and leveling his glare at the shorter Shadowhunter. Duncan swallows.

“Fine.” He says, and Raj finally looks up.

“Come on Duncan,” he says, “let’s go somewhere before one of the Lightwoods kill you. I’ll tell you all the ways you’re wrong.”

“Like you’re any better.” Duncan mutters, but he lets himself be pulled away, cheeks coloring slightly.

“I don’t know what’s happening with that,” Alec says, looking horrified as he sees Duncan and Raj walk away together, “and I’m not sure I want to know.”

“They’re sleeping with each other.” Izzy flicks through her tablet, and then looks up at them. “Obviously.” Clary chokes on nothing.

“That’s a good cure for fighting.” She says slyly, because she’s an evil, evil girl.

“I don’t like this entire conversation.” Alec announces. “So I’m leaving, but you two,” he glares at Jace and Simon, “pull yourselves together.”

So in hindsight, when Jace tracks him down an hour later and shoves him against the wall in a supply closet, he should have seen this coming. There’s a hungry glint in Jace’s eyes as he briefly kisses Simon, hard and then says “This doesn’t mean anything, Lewis.”

Simon grins, nods, and says “I think you’ll like it better if - “ And he turns and slams Jace against the wall, pinning his wrists above his head, and Jace’s surprised moan is music to his ears.

.

“My eyes!” Clary shrieks, and Jace falls out of bed. Simon just groans and cracks his eyes open, in time to see Clary slap her hand over her face.

“Put on some clothes.” She says.

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” Jace smirks. “You’ve slept with both of us.”

“This is why I like girls.” she wails. Simon closes his eyes and snuggles deeper into his nest of blankets. Unless Clary comes up with a life or death situation, he’s going back to sleep.

“What do you need?” Jace asks, and Simon can hear the sounds of Jace getting up, presumably with pants on.

“There was a report about upper Manhattan, and Alec wanted both of your opinions on…” Simon nods off, slipping back into a comfortable half-asleep state. From very far away, he listens hazily to Clary and Jace’s voices drop lower and lower as they talk business.

“ - tell Alec I’ll come by later. I want to let Simon sleep for a little while longer.”

“Longer? How much longer?”

“At least an hour. He’s tired. I wore him out, if you know what I mean.”

There’s a smack then, like Clary’s slapped Jace’s shoulder for being crass. Jace laughs.

“Just kidding, calm down. He had an exam yesterday. I - he could use the rest.”

Silence ensues. Simon drifts deeper and deeper into sleep; he wishes Jace would come back into the bed. The feeling of Jace’s warm skin, his heart steady in Simon’s ear - Simon’s body craves the comfort of Jace. He’s a little frightened with how intense it feels to think about Jace, a little like he’s jumped off a cliff without knowing it.

“Jace.” It’s Clary’s voice, a soft, sympathetic exhale, and Simon feels like he’s missed something important when he feels Jace’s hand stroke back the hair from his face and Jace respond, with a heavy sadness in his voice, “I know. I know.”

.

The first time Simon stays the night, it’s because he nearly dies. He’s not really trained to watch for demons sneaking up on him, so when he goes down during a mission - and stays down - all hell breaks loose. He only regains consciousness later that night, waking up blearily in the spare room at Magnus’ to find Jace draped half-over him, asleep.

“Hey.” Simon rasps, gently shaking Jace’s shoulder. “Hey.”

Jace bolts upright, his eyes hard until they land on an awake Simon, and then something softens in his face.

“How are you feeling?” he asks, and it’s such a normal question. It’s none of Jace’s usual snark or banter - just Jace, his lips parted, his eyes earnest. It makes Simon feel like he’s sixteen and kissing a boy for the first time, the slow start of butterflies in his stomach.

“Like I was hit by a bus.” Simon jokes, and then he sobers up. “Good. I feel rested.” Jace nods, and there’s a moment of comfortable silence between them.

“I’ll go wake Clary and the others up.” Jace offers, sliding off the bed. Simon reaches out without thinking, fingers slipping around Jace’s wrist, tugging him down.

“Wait.” He says softly, and then he’s kissing Jace, deep and hungry, and then they’re moving together, languid and slow in the night air, arching under each other, ragged moans torn from their throats, until they collapse back onto the bed, and the last thing Simon sees before he falls asleep is the way Jace’s eyes flutter shut, his fingers tangled with Simon’s.

.

And the first time it all falls apart -

“Hey,” Jace says when he catches Simon after his gig at the bar, “you free?” He waggles his eyebrows outrageously, his eyes crinkling as he smirks.

Simon, his veins still alight with the thrill of performing, grins a little maniacally at Jace.

“For you, always.” he says, and he hears it as soon as he says it -

His voice is breathy, and affectionate, and he’s pretty sure his eyes are warm, too warm, and fuck, the pieces fall into place; this is heart on the line. Jace makes him vulnerable and open and this is the most terrible thing that’s happened to him because this was just supposed to be about sex. This was just supposed to be sex.

And now Jace is reeling back like he’s been slapped, his eyes wide-open and horrified, and Simon can’t think, can’t breathe, can’t -

“Simon.” Jace says hoarsely.

“I’m sorry.” Simon says, before he flees.

.

This is their real first time -

Jace runs after Simon, feet pounding on the pavement as he activates his speed rune. Simon keeps going, blindly throwing open the door to the boathouse and stumbling in, his heart in pieces. When Jace staggers into him, breathing hard, only a few minutes later, Simon bites his lip and tries not to cry.

“I - “ Jace starts, and then he pauses, sucks in a deep lungful of air, and straightens up. “This has never been nothing to me.”

Simon thinks about the way Jace looks tangled up in the bedsheets, skin bare and golden in the moonlight, eyes alight with an adoration that Simon’s never seen in anyone’s eyes before. He thinks about the way their hands fit together so well, the fire between them that never goes away.

“You.” Simon says furiously. “When you kissed me that first time - “

“God, Simon.” Jace looks at him, honest and sincere. “Even then.”

Simon can’t think past the roaring in his ears; when he curls his hands in Jace’s shirt and kisses him it feels like coming home, his heart settling into it’s place in Jace’s hands. Jace kisses him back slowly, sweetly, his hand cupping Simon’s jaw like it’s something breakable.

“I like you,” Simon murmurs, “I like you, I like you, you mean a whole lot of something to me.”

“Really.” Jace says, walking Simon backwards until they hit the bed. He pushes Simon back, straddling him as he strips his shirt off, runes glinting in the dim light. “Fuck, Simon.”

Words fail them, but it doesn’t matter; Simon feels helplessly overwhelmed by the swell of emotions in his chest, a feeling like jumping off a cliff - but this time, he knows exactly how high it is.

He looks at Jace, kisses him, and falls anyway.

[ecotone99]

[SF] 24 hours

​

MEET ME AT THE AIRPORT AT 9. BE THERE!

I reread the text.

I read it again.

Lillian was an ex-lover of ours. It was mid week but the hassle might be worth it. My beautiful wife Nicole was working from home today. My mind was reeling with the possibilities. I looked at the clock, it was 4:06. I got up and sent a text to my supervisor that I was sick and wouldn’t be in today. I would get some serious shit tomorrow but I was really hoping it would be worth it. I looked at my beautiful wife and then rolled out of bed.

I quietly went through my morning routine. I let the dog out, started coffee fed the dog, blah blah blah. I poured her a cup when she came out. She was still wearing her pajamas as well, the benefits of being able to work from home.

“What’s the occasion? No work?” she asked.

“I called in sick. Lillian texted me. She wants to meet at the airport at 9.” I said. “Can you take off so we can both meet her?”

“Ha!” she said wrapping her arms around me, “And here I thought I was something special. She texted me too. Ya I have enough time off. I’ll take an hour or two.” We shared a brief kiss before I pulled away to flip the bacon. “Just in case she wants to play today, I’ll tell work that I’m not feeling well and may have to take the day off. I’m going to shower and log in for an hour though.”

“Ok. After I eat I will change the oil in my truck and shower then. Don’t take too long, your eggs are going in th pan in four minutes.” I said as I opened the fridge.

A half hour later we had eaten and I put on some work clothes. A half hour after that, I jumped in the shower. I got dressed and went to my computer.

“Woah! All dressed up I see. Hoping to get lucky?” My wife asked when I walked past her.

“Well ya!” I said with feigned sarcasm. If I can’t turn you on I’m hoping for a quickie with her anyway!”

She was smiling but her expression changed and I thought I had gone too far. “I’m thinking about her message. She said to meet her in all caps. She doesn’t always type like that.”

“Maybe she just really wants to see us?”

“Maybe.” She paused, “Maybe it’s more. I mean she works for the government.”

“I think you worry a lot.” I teased.

“Me worried!?! Mister super prepper!?! You are so funny.” She faked an exasperated tone.

We both laughed. “Hey if we leave now I can get us some Dunkin’ Donuts coffee.”I said.

“I can’t leave quite yet.” She returned her attention to her laptop.

“I’ll pick it up and then stop to get you. DD is in the other direction anyway.” I offered.

“Great. Text me.”

I collected my things and headed out for our Prius. I got three coffees and texted my wife. She was waiting in front of the house and we were off to the airport. We got another text from Lillian about where to meet her. We got there and only waited a minute or two before she showed up.

Normally she was a stunning petite blond with never a hair out of place so I immediately knew something was wrong, she was just … off. Her blond hair showed almost a quarter inch of auburn roots, her suit coat was slightly wrinkled, she looked really tired and her makeup was… old? Nicole and I looked at each other with equally surprised expressions so I know she noticed it too.

Lillian paused and quickly kissed us each on the cheek. She then walked away toward a bunch of open seats in a bar area. Since it was so early the bar was still closed. She opened her shoulder bag and removed another smaller bag and pointedly put her phone in it then motioned for us to do the same. After the phones were safely in the small bag she asked, “Do you have any other electronics? It’s really important, ipad, tablet, work phone, nothing?”

We looked at each other and said no.

She looked down at the Rolex on her wrist then back up at us. “I know that this is going to sound like I’m crazy but remember that conversation we had after you two met and before we all had sex the first time? Good. That promise of honesty stands during all of what I’m about to say. I love you both and treasure our friendship beyond anything.”

She spoke so fast I didn’t even have time to get truly fearful or scared.

“You know that virus in Asia? It has mutated. About ten percent of the people don’t die and become immune, about ten percent die outright. About fifty percent die and come back as zombies. The last thirty percent come back as powerful zombies. That’s the only way we can describe them. I put our phones in a bag that blocks all signals. I know they are monitoring me and if I say anything to anyone, the press, you, I mean anyone, they will arrest or just murder me as soon as they can get a goon with a gun to me. Their government and ours are doing their best to cover it up but by tomorrow it will get out. I am heading to D.C. to brief more people but I’m not supposed to even be here now. I was lucky and convinced the pilot to land here rather than Chicago for refueling, otherwise I would not have been able to warn you even this much.”

We sat in stunned silence for several seconds. “You know this for sure? How do you know we have until tomorrow?” I asked.

“I was at the consulate in a meeting with two major pharmaceutical companies and several military people not to mention all the government officials. I was basically in the wrong place at the wrong time. My boss insisted I needed to be there. It wasn’t my specialty but I’ve been in high end, high security meetings before.” She looked at her wrist again. “During the meeting one of the lower ranked military guys tried to leave. A General stood and blocked his way. After a brief exchange in their language the General drew his pistol and shot the man several times, then turned and shot the General that sat next to him at the table. He then put the gun away and explained. The colonel next to him was a known informant to several news agencies. He advised us all to use the same amount of fortitude to give us all as much time as possible to get ahead of this before none of us would have a chance.”

“How did killing those two give you a better chance.”

“All international flights will be grounded in about twelve hours. It will take about twelve more hours for the news to get out and then it will be mass panic. Rioting, police lock downs, martial law. Ugly.”

“But the, I gulped zombies are in Asia. They cant get here.” I heard the tremble in my voice.

“This part gets sketchy. The virus has already been transmitted or transported around the world. We know of dozens of places it has already been suspected with several confirmed.”

“But people should be told!” I said.

“And when they are it will be chaos and mass panic. That will be at ten o’clock tomorrow morning. Thats when the governments decided to go public. It gives government officials and the billionaires time to get home. They hoped for forty eight hours.” She looked at her wrist again, ”About twenty four hours for you.”

“This could be contained.” I stammered.

She sat stoically, “All the models say seventy five to eighty percent mortality rate. Thats global. At best. That includes military. We’ve talked before about it, even America with all of our guns. Most people will hesitate. She trailed off.”

We again sat for several seconds in silence. She finally got up and started pulling the bag of phones out of her shoulder bag. I dumbly stood up utterly disbelieving what I had just heard.

Luckily my wife was quicker than me. She stood and grabbed Lillian by the shoulders. “Are you going to be ok? Should you stay here with us? You know how we are prepped so far?”

Lillian took a deep breath and said calmly. “I can’t spread the news in any way I can imagine. I can only hope that going back to D.C will allow me to help others after the word is out. As much as I would love to stay here with you two, for my own sanity, I can’t. I need to go and try to help.”

“Ok. Do you remember our place? Northern Wisconsin?”

“Yes, Tomahawk.” Lilian replied.

“Ok, come if you can.” She leaned forward and kissed Lillian, then pulled her in for a hard embrace. I saw a tear fall from her eye. “I love you!” She said quietly.

“I love you both!” Lillian said reaching over and pulling me into their hug also. After a second Lillian reached up and kissed me too then pulled away and quickly dumped our phones on the table. She started to walk away but looked back over her shoulder and said, “Blue bears are good and red cats are bad. Just in case.”

We stood and watched her walk away.

Once she was out of sight, I numbly sat down. My mind reeled. I can’t describe the total opposite direction that this meeting took from my hopeful imagination. After all I at minimum expected to hang out with an awesome and beautiful friend, a little laughter and good conversation. What I got was the end of the world.

Nicole finally turned to me and hugged me hard for a long time. Finally she pulled back and looked me in the eye. “Do you believe her?”

I thought for several seconds. From her slightly disheveled look, so slightly disheveled that others wouldn’t have even noticed but we would, to her kiss and parting cryptic words blue bears are good and red cats are bad. What did that even mean?

I was looking at the floor but I finally looked up into Nicole’s eyes and replied, “Yes, I believe her.”

“Me too.” She said with a tremor in her voice. “Lets go.”

The next several minutes were a bit of a blur. When we got to the Prius we were about to get in when I stopped her. I opened the rear hatch and buried our phones under a bunch of blankets, get home bags, equipment and winter coats. After getting in I sat for a few seconds. “Do you think our phones are connected to the car?”

“They are off.” She said. “If they are, there’s not much we can do.”

“Let’s walk.” I said. We walked the parking structure once as we talked. “I hope if they pay any attention that they at least take into account we are being careful and won’t tell anyone.” I said. “My family is easy they are all localish. Your family is all down south except for your mother.”

She nodded and asked, “What should we do?”

“I hate to sound like an ass but I don’t think we can warn your family easily. Maybe call and tell them we don’t like the way the Asian flu is spreading and tell them we are going up north. They have never taken kindly to out prepper mindset but maybe they will pay a little more attention to the up coming news reports. Your mother won’t notice anything. If you want to go get her… that will be rough on our plans.”

“No, my family won’t see this until it hits them in the face. I need to try though.” She said.

“We will see what we can do for them.” I said conciliatorilly. “Until then our primary mission I think, is to get up north like you told Lillian.”

“Yes.” She said. “Oh my god its so overwhelming though.” She said sagging back.

“How do you eat an elephant?” I asked forcefully.

She stopped and looked up at me and then said with a small smirk, “One bite at a time.”

“Right on!” and I put my hand up.

She high-fived me.

“The camper is in the drive way. We load that in the next hour or two then get the kids and then take that up north. It’s about four and a half hours one way so nine hours is ten to twelve hours round trip with load and unloading. If we are lucky and we have twenty four hours that will give us two trips and a lot of supplies.

For our second trip we can pick up the trailer and fill that and the truck again. If Allen can take the third trailer… but that’s a lot for right now. When we get back to the car we can send messages to the kids and your family.

“Mom just got back from her Ireland trip! What if I send her a message saying you really want to hear about her trip to Ireland and Scotland? She should come here for a few days. Even if she left in six hours, we should be able to get her in time and take her with us.”

“Great idea!” I said though I didn’t think she would take the ‘bait’. “Call her!”

We walked in thought for several moments then I started organizing my thoughts on packing out loud. “Ok. Guns and reloading, books then long term food then our clothes, warm and cold weather then short term food then tools then clothes then more food and games then extraneous items. We understand this but my family won’t.” After a brief pause I continued, “Allen will not agree but he will be happy with us up there so really it’s the same thing. Except if he believes us maybe I can convince him to load our other trailer. As for my sister and brother-in-law. I don’t know, maybe they will listen.” I paused again and inhaled and exhaled deeply. “As for the kids, Andrea will go along because she trusts me. Lars will argue but only because he will miss his computer for a day. He will assume we are crazy but will be able to blame his time off and possibly his job loss on me and will then play that out for as much as he can get out of it.”

By this time we were once again near the car. I stopped her. I tilted her face up to mine and kissed her before saying. “The next couple days are going to be hectic. Very hectic. I am going to get harsh abrupt and maybe downright angry not to mention upset and pissed off. Just you remember!” I stared deeply into her eyes. “I will be doing all I can do for us and those we love. Don’t think I am asking you to do something for some self centered need. We are doing this for us and our loved ones.” I then kissed her deeply and reached into my pocket for the key fob so we could geet our phones from the back of the car.

We had been prepping for years. About nine years. There wasn’t much to plan. Once I made a decision she didn’t argue though I knew she would if she felt strongly enough. We both started making calls on the 10 minute trip home.

When we got home I woke up my son Lars, he is 21 but works evenings washing dishes and such for a restaurant. While he was getting dressed I called my daughter Rose who is 19 and a shift manager at a fast food restaurant.

Then I called my mother. When she picked up, I explained that Nicole would be coming to pick her up and to pack for a long stay up north and yes bring her cat. I’m allergic to cats but it’s easier to not argue and get things moving. She didn’t want to come but I told her it there was something special going on.

My wife looked at me and said, “Oh nice! Throw me under the bus.”

“Yes, it was an after thought. Pick up Rose first it will be quick and easy for you two to pack and load her things in the Prius. Then both of you can get moms stuff. Bring all the cat food and cat litter she has. That will allow Lars and I time to haul supplies up from the basement.”

After Nicole left, Lars and I started bringing bins and buckets up from the basement and staging them in the dining room. From there it would be a straight shot out to the camper and truck. Just a few months ago we bought twenty flip top sixteen gallon bins from someone on facecrack marketplace. We used several for different camping and storage needs but many of them were still empty. We used them now packing loads of store bought canned goods and boxing up all our home canned food. All told we had several months of food but that would go fast.

When Nicole got home with those two and a Prius full of clothes, they started bringing things upstairs and I started loading as much as was reasonable in the camper. We loaded all our blankets and bed clothes then we started with the cold weather gear and finally books and games. We have a 10 foot long shelf of books we considered necessary for the end of the world. I hooked up the camper to the truck and loaded bin after bin of food in the bed of the truck. I quickly strapped the load down with a cargo net. I had loaded several firearms into the truck and camper and several ammo cans also. The zombies weren’t due for a day or two but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should have my pistol within reach.

During the loading of the truck my mother thought I was crazy but she helped, honestly I think she was just glad to be included and that her cat was coming. Occasionally she had seen a some of our preps, she never saw all of them, and would comment about why we would ever stock up on that much food. We gave various reasons but she would always shake her head and say the store is right down the street. She was flabbergasted by how much we had.

The truck and camper were loaded. My son rode with my wife in the Prius. My mother and daughter rode with me. They would stop at my sisters place and explain to them what was happening and I would head straight north. I really hoped my sister would take her seriously.

We were on the road by 11:30. Remarkably good time in my opinion. A quick stop for fast food and a little bit of careful speeding and we were there by 4:30. I guess it also helps that mid week traffic is much better. I had dropped the trailer and was unloading the truck into my brothers garage and lean to when my son and wife showed up. They unloaded straight into my brothers house.

When we were done unloading I spoke to my wife. “I think you should go to Dubuque and try to pick up your mother.” The look in her eye spoke volumes. It was almost like reading her mind, was I dumping her, then why doesn’t he want me, then why does he want me to go away, and then the change wait it’s still safe out there, this would be the only chance to get her, then splitting up would allow us to maximize our effectiveness in dealing with this. She pulled me down and kissed me. Good she got it, “Be safe!” she said.

“You too and keep me posted.” I said. “I’m leaving mom and the pets here. The kids will be with me for faster loading. We will both be back here sometime in the middle of the night. It took another five minutes to explain things for my mother and then we all left.

I stopped in town to fill up my gas tank and get drinks. We stopped at another gas station half way back and the clerk must have thought we were nuts when I bought out almost the whole display of beef jerky and a swath of other items. When we were back in the truck I told my son, in the back seat, to just drop all the packages into every nook and cranny back there. We would still need all the room we could get for the rest of our stuff. My phone was kept wrapped in aluminum foil and taken out every couple hours for updates and then re wrapped. This allowed us to speak freely. As I didn’t think they would be listening in on the kids phones and we never spoke about Lillian.

When we got back to Milwaukee, I stopped by my brother to tell him face to face what was going on. It hadn’t taken much convincing to get him to go up north, he always had plenty of vacation. What he didn’t believe was that shit was going down. He would leave in the morning.

We left and went straight to were we stored the camper. I called that storage place while on the way and simply rolled in and out with no pause to chat. I backed the big trailer into my driveway. We loaded propane and generators more clothes and finally the rest of our food. I packed my toolbelt, electrical tools and all my Dewalt battery operated tools but couldn’t justify the rest of my tools. Between what my family already had up there, mine simply weren’t needed. Also we were running out of room fast. By 1 am we were again loaded. We stopped twice for gas this time and both times we bought out nearly the entire displays of beef jerky and other treats. I was sucking down energy drinks and had bought caffeine pills. My son and daughter just kept dumping the small packages int the small gaps in the back of the truck. I had bought nearly a thousand dollars on that credit card and you could almost not see it they packed it so well.

The sky was just beginning to brighten when I pulled into the driveway up north again. I was really tired. We dropped the trailer and then began unloading. Again we were just dumping things in the garage, lean-to and shed. I paused and slammed the rest of my energy drink as Nicole crossed the yard. After a quick hug and as we finished unloading, she said she was thankful for being able to pick up her mother. I’m not sure how she convinced her to come here but we could talk about that more later.

“Now you need to get some sleep.” She said.

“No, we are going to town to buy whatever we can yet.” I replied.

She looked at me for only a moment before agreeing. “What are we going for?”

“You get to the drug stores in Tomahawk and buy anything you think we need medical and hygiene wise. I burned up my visa card already so I have about five grand I can spend on my other one. I’m going to Menards and a grocery store. I want to be back by noon. That will be past her 24 hour deadline but it may still be ok.”

She looked very tired. “I don’t like that we are splitting up but I understand. I will take Rose.”

“I’ll take Lars.” I felt as tired as she looked.

The kids just groaned but they had gotten cat naps between all the stops as I was driving. The girls left with us following. On the way I had an idea. When we got to Menards, I rented a trailer and they filled it with 6 foot fencing and a lot of fence poles. I grabbed a cart full of hardware, nuts washers and bolts and all the white gas they had. I then bought out the soups and such in their food section. I was loading all this into the truck when a police officer showed up. He parked a few spots away and approached me from the front. He had a nervous look and his body was angled away with his right arm slightly back.

“Good morning!” he said.

“Good morning!” I said pleasantly. Loading the last of my things in the truck. Lars came back from returning a cart.

“Whats the event?” the officer asked.

I looked at him slightly bewildered but then with a look of understanding. “Ahh, fencing, food, hardware.” I chuckled and passed my empty cart to Lars who started taking it back to the corral. I then slowly stepped forward and extended my hand. “My name’s Robert, my wife and I just closed on a property up here, our dream homestead really.” He slowly reached out and shook my hand. “And I promised my son a hunting trip to Montana and a load of food for when he goes back to college in Milwaukee for a few weeks work.” I looked over the side of the truck and pulled up a bag of Bear Creek powdered soup mix, He loves this stuff.” Then dropped it back in.

“Ya, not as good as pizza but it will last all the rest of the year and part of next.” He said and smiled as he returned.

The officer looked at me for a few seconds and asked, “Where did you buy a place?”

“North of Sprinter about six miles. Nice place. Goats, rabbits, ducks, we are going to have it all!” I wasn’t trying to pour it on too much but I had gamed this out slightly in my head. We really had been looking for a place. We really planned to have those animals and many more. “I just had a talk with the guys in the store. They weren’t pissed but they asked that next time I order ahead so I don’t deplete their stock. When I bring this trailer back I will place an order that I can pick up in a couple days. More fencing, cattle panels… I should have bought stock in this place before I pulled out my credit card.” I joked. “So what can I do for you anyway?”

“We got a call about suspicious activity. Buying an oddly large amount of stuff.”

“This is a lot?” I looked at the large though slightly odd assortment of material in the truck and trailer. “We would pick up twice this much stuff when I worked for a contractor in Milwaukee. Besides,” I continued turning back to him. “I used a credit card to rent the trailer and buy all of this. They have a complete record if something nefarious was going on.”

The officer started to visibly relax as I was talking. Just as I finished he got a call on his radio. He reached up and pressed the button. I didn’t know what the few words and codes meant but was quite happy to see him relaxing more and more. We have a friend in Chicago who needs to buy many gallons of white gas for a fire dance performance group and she tells stories of long talks with police officers to explain just what and why they need so much flammable liquid. They are always worried about terrorist and other threats nowadays.

When he was done on the radio I asked, “While I have you here what are some good places to eat? I really like Ted’s pub over on west street. Great burgers. What do you suggest for a breakfast place?”

To his credit he looked thoughtful for a minute, then “Maggie’s on fourth. Great greasy spoon type place with out the grease.” He had hooked his thumbs in his belt in front of him. “Great for breakfasts! The fork right down the street is only open for lunch and dinner but it is also really good. The new fancier restaurants are driving up prices but those two are still reasonable yet.

“Hey dad, Uncle Allen is expecting us soon.” Lars reminded me. Smart kid. Dropped that in at a perfect time.

“Hey it was nice meeting you!” I said as I started to step around him to get in my truck.

“Yes, you too sir.” He replied. “It’s always nice to see good people moving into the area.” He turned and went back to his car.

When we were safely inside the truck I praised Lars for listening and going along with what was happening. As we pulled out of the lot I thought about one more stop on the way out of town.

We pulled into my brothers place just before noon. I was really glad to see his truck was there. The radio had been going crazy with the reports of the grounding of all the international flights last night and it got only worse when they grounded all flights and said they were going to restrict all travel by the end of the day. My sister and her husband and kids arrived an hour later. Most of my family was safe. At least as safe as we could be for now. That evening the first reports of looting and rioting started. Then there were reports of some of the rioters biting each other. Most of the reports were coming from other countries so far.

I don’t know what words I would use to describe my thoughts and feelings when those first reports came in. It happened. It was happening? Way down deep I was afraid we were doing all this for nothing. I would have to go in and tell the boss that I was pretty sick. Try to return all kinds of stuff at Menards because I really couldn’t afford it. No, they showed people eating each other live on the evening news. For only a split second I felt almost vindicated for all the work over last 36 hours. Then I immediately felt the horror of the millions of people that would die over the next few weeks. Then fear for my friends and family that I couldn’t help right now. Finally the dread of having the end of the word as we know it occur right in front of us and how it would change our lives.

I got up and walked to the open bottle of whiskey on the kitchen counter. I picked it up and took a long pull from the bottle then turned to my family. Mostly what I saw was fear and worry in their eyes. “Thanks to Lillian we are far ahead of most people right now. I think we are safe enough for the night. Tomorrow we will decide what to do next.” I set the bottle down. “I’m going to bed. It’s going to be another long day tomorrow. Goodnight.” I took my wifes hand and pulled her up off her seat. She followed me, as I walked to our bed I only hoped we would have this one last night be peaceful. Tomorrow I would really take charge and keep my family safe!

submitted by /u/thunderhawkburner [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2Ibh5DC

[ciathyzareposts]

Inca – Lost!

By Ilmari

 I’ve had enough of this!

What I predicted in the previous post has come to pass – the space flight is really beyond my skills. I do have five lives to try, but if I use up all of them at the beginning of the game, do I have any chance at a later point? The situation is even more dire, because there’s no proper possibility to save the game and I cannot use the time honoured method of save scumming my way through these sequences. Instead, like in Gobliiins, after playing through a certain checkpoint, the game offers a code, which you can then use to continue the game from that checkpoint – in whatever condition you was when you arrived to that checkpoint. I cannot even use any DOS emulator that would allow save states, because the game appears to be rather finicky and not work with any of them.

My strategy has thus been to cheat. I discovered by googling that pressing both SHIFTs and ESC at the same time would skip a space flight scene and move me directly to the next checkpoint (this seems to work only for the space flight scenes). I will try my utmost to complete the rest of the simulator sequences, but I won’t hesitate to use the cheat to get forward. Since I clearly haven’t beaten the game fair and square, I’ll declare this game already Lost, although this won’t be the last post.

So you’ll be opening a Quickie Mart in Springfield?

The game begins with the story already familiar from the manual. Huayna Capac, one of the last Inca leaders, foresees the destruction of the Inca civilisation in the hands of the Spanish, but he has hidden the ancient knowledge, which will be found by a figure called El Dorado. Then his body is instantly mummified and he turns into a spirit form.

Want some moisturiser?

His spirit looks like pan pipes

Nazca lines?

We then cut to five hundred years in the future, when spirit of Huayna Capac, now in the form of golden ball, awakens El Dorado.

That would be me

And this is my sidekick. In the sound track, he speaks what at least tries to simulate some Native American language

Huayna Capac gives me a quick rundown of the situation. Apparently someone else is also trying to find the lost Incan treasure. I’ll reveal now that this someone has henchmen that look like Spanish conquistadors. I really have to ask why the space Incas have waited for so long to retrieve their treasures that the civilisation that destroyed their relatives on Earth has been able to reach similar technological skills. Of course, even more obvious problem is how a spacefaring nation could have been conquered by people with muskets, but let’s not open that can of worms. In any case, Huayna Capac hid a gem capable of controlling time to a nearby planet.

The starting room contained a databank about Inca culture and an interface for playing all the music pieces in the game.

Appropriately, it looks like panpipes

With nothing else to do, I opened the door and entered my space vehicle.

I will probably spend very little time with this interface, but I’ll still go through the details. The top of the screen has a series of green lights, with only one light lit right now. That’s the speedometer. If I don’t constantly press the right mouse button – or if I push something else in between – the velocity of the ship drops pretty much instantly.

Pushing left mouse button fires a shot. I guess the green/red line at the center has something to do with my shooting energy, since when it is redder, I shoot less shots in a minute, and the line eventually turns back to green, if I don’t shoot for a while. The manual tells me that I can change my basic weapon to one of two more massive ones, but these latter weapons have only a limited amount of shots, so I haven’t tested them.

The nine blue balls on the outer ring tell me how many times my spaceship can be shot, before it is destroyed. As I already mentioned, if my spaceship is destroyed, I am transported back to the beginning of the sequence and one of my five lives (hence, the five balls) is erased.

I have to admit that even this first flying session frustrated me immensely. The task was simple. I saw a planet, where I was heading, but it was surrounded by asteroids. I could shoot the stones or try to maneuver my way past them. Considering I didn’t succeed even in what should have been a simple exercise shows my lack of skills in this type of games.

While I might be able to beat the first section, if I practiced enough, I cannot understand how the second section can be won. The manual describes this as a canyon combat, although it looks more like I am flying through the trench of Death Star. The controls are a simplified version of those in previous section. My ship travels with autopilot, but I still have to push the gas pedal myself.

Four enemy ships fly also in the trench – they are the four white dots on the long horizontal line, and if one of them reaches the right end of the line, I lose one life. I’ve found it impossible even to pass one ship, let alone all four. Shooting inevitably reduces my speed, since the game doesn’t react to my pressing the right mouse button, if I am also pushing the left button. Just going full speed ahead is also not a solution, since the enemy ships drop some sort of energy bombs, which also reduce my speed, if my ship hits them – not to mention that they reduce my energy. I have to slow down to shoot these bombs, which gives the enemy ships too much headway.

A cheat later

The next sequence begins with my ship landing on a planet. Finally, some proper adventure gaming awaits me!

Do you mean Nazca? So is this Earth?

The controls of this section are quite simple. My pointer resembles some kind of Inca statue. Moving it to a hotspot brings out its description. Clicking the hotspot might end up with game just saying “No, El Dorado”. If not, then I either do or pick up something. When I pick up an object, my pointer turns into that object. I can then either click something else with the object or put it in my inventory, for instance, by pressing the right mouse button.

I can access my inventory by taking my pointer to the top of the screen. In addition, there I can also ask help from Huayna Capac.

I was standing outside a closed door. Pushing two stones beside the door revealed something.

Nazca lines!

Shapes in the round disc on the left changed when pressed, and with a shape fitting to the hole on the right the disc could be inserted in it.

I had a red, blue and green gem in my spaceship, and they were evidently meant to be put in the three small holes on the front of the lines. What was the logic behind the order in which to put them? I have no idea, the game just didn’t let me put a gem into a wrong hole.

OK, now that I look at it again it’s pretty obvious – you put red gem into a slot next to small stones, neither of which red etc.

My reward was a sacred tumi, an Inca knife. I could also now open the door and move into a new sequence.

A maze!

And it’s full of conquistadors shooting me. I really have to wonder what they are doing here since a) I thought the canyon flight was all about shooting all the Spaniards trying to enter the complex (or at least I died, if I left some of them alive), and b) even if some managed to outrun me, they couldn’t have entered without the gems

This has been the most irritating sequence so far. The Spanish enemies are not too bad. There’s always two of them, one hidden behind a pillar on left and another behind a pillar on right. They can be hit only when they come out in the open to shoot you. Since they never both shoot me at the same time (why? I am a sitting duck and there’s two of them), it’s relatively easy to deal with them, especially as their own energy shots can be destroyed by my gun.

What makes this sequence insufferable is the ridiculous “saving” system – or the lack of it – I cannot save after a successful fight. The biggest problem is that the previous checkpoint lies way earlier in the past, at the moment when I first landed on the planet. And this is no space flight sequence, so there’s no possibility to skip the sequence by a cheat code (I did try it…). Since after a lost life you continue from the beginning of the maze, I didn’t bother to start all the way from the previous checkpoint, but continued playing with only four lives left.

This should be a hint?

Eventually I found a corridor blocked by a bamboo stem held in place by two ropes. I could cut the ropes with my tumi. The bamboo stem had already been cut into two halves, and within it I found a gold coin.

Moving forward, I found a wall with a golden star. Pushing a tile below it revealed two pillars, on which I could place the bamboo halves. Now pushing the golden star turned it into a golden corn statue on a golden basin. After some experimentation I noticed I should use my tumi on the basin, after which I could take the corn. Some liquid started to flow through the bamboos to the basin, while an ancient Inca corpse appeared.

He’s giving me a hint: “First is the morning, second is the zenith, third is the evening and last the night…”

At the place where the golden star had been a round hole had appeared. The gold coin fit in it perfectly, and the wall opened to a new room. The new place contained two columns and a golden panel on the wall. Behind the golden panel, I discovered a gold star, which opened up one of the columns.

Quipu was a South American writing system based on knots, usually used for expressing numbers

Behind the quipu I found a hook, and touching it revealed a greyish star. Taking the grey star to the former place of the gold star revealed a golden ball.

10 CAPs for the best retort

The golden ball (or disc) had a hole, in which the golden corn could be put. This revealed a tablet with four arrows. It took me a while, but I finally had the idea of combining the information from the dead Inca about the order of pressing the arrows with the number of knots in each of the four strands of the quipu.

Mango Capac was the legendary founder of Inca empire, while Mama Occlo was both his sister and wife

The next room contained two statues. Pressing a panel on the floor between the statues, made a bluish… structure rise and a…. floating jar appear?

Decide yourself what’s happening

Touching the statues popped out balls (red and blue ones), which combined into a red and a blue egg.

Just to show I didn’t dream this

Now clicking the vase poured blue liquid on the eggs, which…

…turned into a man and a woman. Nice to know ancient Incas already used the same colour codes for genders

And then they combined into a third figure…

…which transformed into a green jewel

That was the end of my first quest, and my reward was power over time. As I finally received a new save code, I think this is a perfect spot for stopping. I hope the puzzles will improve in the future, since now I have mostly just clicked things randomly on hotspots, just to see whether the game reacts to anything.

Session time: 8 h

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/inca-lost/

[fabguru-intern-blog]

Second and third week of my internship at Contact Amsterdam

By Jennifer Rombouts

Finishing the on-the-wall tablet case with info about the vertical garden

In the second and third week at Contact I finished the tabletcase for on our garden wall. On wednesday I made an azobe wooden frame for the makerscase with the tablet (project from week 1). I started with the frame by sawing the azobe wood in the right sizes and connected them by making a half wooden joints by using a saw, hamer and chisel. I used wood glue to connect all parts of the frame and fastened the frame in the right position with four small glue clamps.

After drying, I drew three dots on the side of the case, each in the middle of a button. On the top of the case I also marked the middle line through all three buttons. By drawing all four lines onto the framework (with the right angle, from the side of the case towards the front) I was sure that I would not make any mistakes and drill in the wrong place.

With the column drill I made two small holes and one bigger hole (for the unlock button). With a handsaw I made a small gap in de side of the case for the charger. Then I had to think of a way to press in the touch buttons, because only the ‘home button’  is pressable. I thought of the different metals to use and tried a few things out. Then I remembered that Copper is the best conductor, as it is used in coils. With an iron handsaw I shortened two copper screws and rasped them smooth. I placed the screws upside down on the two touch buttons on the tablet and then fastened the frame on top so the ends of both pins fell to the small holes. It turned out the holes in the frame were so small; there was not enough contact surface between the finger and copper screws. But this problem was solved easily by countersinking the two smaller holes. I used a brass screw with a round head (which I also sawed and rasped) for the home button. It works well but I have not fasten it into the somewhat bigger hole yet. Next wednesday, I will try to incorporate a small spring in the hole.

Working with the vinyl cutter

Alex asked me to make stickers for new tenants so I could also learn to master the vinyl machine. He gave me an illustrator file with the names of the tenants that have been made an stickered onto the window already. Now I just had to enter the new names, pick the right lettertype, font (only lines, no filling) and size. To check if the sizing was right I moved the new names onto the old text in the document and compared sizes of small/capital letters. When finished Alex advised me to add lines in between the names so that the names are directly cut into separate stickers.

Alex explained me quicky how the machine worked: it is turned on by a black switch on the left side of the machine. You can either use a roll of vinyl (option: ROLL) , which has to be entered under the machinery and goes in along the backside. Or you can use a smaller piece of vinyl (option: SINGLE), which has to be entered at the front of the machine. You fasten the vinyl by moving the small two wheels. To move the wheels lift the black handle on the right side of the machine, to fasten wheels press handle down. Before you fasten the vinyl, check if it both vinyl edges are within a white area! So always check the striped white and black bar at the front of the machine. Also check if the vinyl lies straight by using the lines on the machine at the front and back.

Laser engraving my own drawings

On thursday I used the laser cutter again, but this time for engraving. I uploaded two old drawings that I made by hand and that I later edited with photoshop, into the illustrator default file. Sander explained me how I could trace the lines into fluid (calligraphy lines). With the second drawing (lines edited in photoshop) this worked out really well. I tried to make several small engravings of the drawing in jewtree wood but the wood was so hard that the engravement came out only very vaguely. I tried to higher the power of laser to 30 then 50 but this was still not enough (but I will try this with more power/speed later). Then I decided to try a bigger print on softer wood, japanese cedar “Zuchi”. The bigger engraving on a softer wood came out really good. Alex and I both agreed that some extra 3D in the drawing would make the design even better. In illustrator I connected loose lines and coloured all deeper laying surfaces in blacks. When I told Alex the name of my drawing he suggested to add it circular around the drawing (option: ADDTEXT>CIRCULAR). To cut the design out I used a circle with a red line (always for cutting). When the design was fully finished I turned on the laser cutter and checked if the suction in the maker space was on. After putting in the Zuchi wood and calibrating the material with the ‘magic tool’,  the laser cutter was fully set up. Now before starting the print, I had to set the right preferences for my design: laser placement: relatieve, design: coloured (red for cutting), colours: turn used colours and the air(suction) for red and black on. Then I had to choose the right power, speed and PPI(frequency) for engraving and cutting the cedar wood (P:100, S:1.5, PPI: 80). For these three values always remember: dubbeling the power doubles the depth and halving the speed doubles the depth as well (as the laser has more time to cut deeper). A higher PPI results in more burning and or melting effect but produces finer detail if the speed is not to high.

The second print that I made looked great. I love the way that the beautiful Zuchi wood reacts on the laser and creates layers in the deeper, darker parts.