#just a little 30min anim practice

[cherrylymeaid]

“Hey, look over here!”

[be-pretty-for-me]

Roommate Rewritten

Emily was my first. First roommate, first college crush, and the first time I used Master PC.

I had read about it online, did some digging on forums and sites that definitely gave me some malware, but I ended up with something that looked the part. The old 90s UI flickered onto my screen with a simple "Welcome New Master!" after I ran the setup wizard. A search bar hung in my face for a solid minute so, taunting me with endless possibilities (supposedly), but I was stumped.

Then, as if by some cosmic force, I heard the front door open across the apartment. I smirked to myself, of course it had to be her. If this program really worked she was the best candidate; cute (I had a soft spot for alt girls), just about my age, and we already lived together.

So I typed her name in, and saw a scarily accurate 3-D render of her appear, wearing her black hoodie and jeans, in a sitting position. Tabs and submenues appeared en masse, I found a section on "personality", and ran a little test "Subject will find Anon incredibly attractive. Subject will walk around in lingerie, topless, or no clothing at all while home alone with Anon and doing so will cause her to become very aroused."

I smiled, "should be a good way to find out if this is bullshit or not" I thought to myself as I pressed enter. "Though, I don't know how long it'll take."

I decided to take a quick shower to relax from classes and give the changes some time to settle. 30min later I opened the door, looking around for my new, nude, nypho roommate to jump me like some sort of animal in heat. To my disappointment, her door was wide open and she was nowhere to be found there or in the kitchen. I trudged back to my room, a little deflated, before hearing a giggle as I entered the door.

"Heyyyy Anon" Emily practically moaned from atop my bed.

I dropped my towel in surprise, blushing immediately at the sight of her pale petite frame on display on my messy bed.

"Oohhhh, I didn't know you were so pretty, hun." She purred as she made her way towards me "Mmmph, I'm feeling so hot and bothered all of a sudden, do you think you could help a girl out?"

"I uh, huh, umm... "

Another giggle, before that animal in heat I was looking for pulled me into bed, fucking me with her soft cute body for hours until we both passed out.

The next day I found myself reminiscing about my night with Emily while in a lecture. I had gotten a taste and decided to see what else the program could do. Just some small adjustments all around. I opened Emily's profile again, and went to her proportions. I changed her breasts from a 30B to a pair of heavy round 34DDs and made them more sensitive. Then widened her hips and filled out her ass a bit, giving her a nice hourglass figure.

Back to her personality tab, I added "Subject is addicted to fucking Anon and is submissive to them". Before submitting all the changes I quickly added "Subject is aroused by any physical changes made" just to cover my bases, and pressed enter.

The lecture was just about over when I got a text from Emily.

"Hey, I don't know what's going on, but my tits exploded out of my top, I think my ass is bigger and I really need you, come back to the apartment asap."

Already having trouble hiding my excitement from the thought of her bursting out of a top, I nearly fainted when the second text arrived with it's attachment.

"Don't keep me waiting, baby."

I arrived home, excited to embrace my enhanced roommate, horny beyond belief. She rounded the corner into the living room and my jaw almost hit the floor. The picture was nothing compared to the sexed up version of Emily in front of me that slowly stalked her way towards me. She bit her lip, obviously happy to see me.

"Like what you see?" She said, as she ran her hands up her new curves. "I don't know how it happened, but frankly I don't care. I feel soooooo good."

She came close, very close, I felt her hot breath, I watched her new massive breasts heave up and down hypnotically. She noticed my fixation on her chest and hummed and she began to guide my hands along her soft hips...

"At first I was a little freaked out, they were so heavy."

Up her sides...

"And it happened so fast."

She placed my hands firmly on her chest, my palms sank into the biggest tits I had ever seen, let alone held. Her eyes rolled back uncontrollably, she moaned and her grip tightened while she shuddered.

"Ohhhh fuuuuuck that feeelllsss, Uhhhhhhhnn".

My fingers danced across her huge tits. She came, melted into my hands, and grasped frantically at my shirt for the flesh she craved underneath.

Panting, she managed to finish her thought while I enjoyed the rest of her body. "Haaa, haaa. It's all so hot though. Haa haa. I look like such a ..."

"A slut." I said, as I took two handfuls of her enlarged ass.

"Mmmmmm." She kissed me. "Yeah, and I want to show you just how much of a slut I really am."

A few weeks passed in an instant, between classes and all of the sex with my now girlfriend, time escaped me. I was so caught up in life I left Master PC alone for a good while. Proud of my self control, everything in moderation after all. Besides, my bombshell girlfriend was something I should enjoy for a while, I thought as I opened the door to the apartment.

"Hi baby! How was class?"

"Hey Em. It was fine, unit is a little over my head right now, so I'll have to review it later."

"Oh, poor thing, maybe I can help destress you a bit?" Emily smiled playfully and thrust her chest out at me. "You wanna fuck my titties? Or maybe I could go down on you!" She giggled.

Alright. Maybe I made a few more changes...

[modyuki]

Hihi!! Can you do Tsukasa (and/or Mizuki if you dont write for WxS) x very physically affectionate reader like having a sleepover or something and what it would look like like idk a small fic or something or headcanons depends on what format you usually write in!! I like your writing a lot and since requests are opened i just figured i might aswell shoot my shot :p

Take your time and have a nice day/night!!^^

✧ · 𝐆𝐥𝐮𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 · ✧

♡ · 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: 𝐇𝐈 𝐇𝐈 𝐈'𝐌 𝐒𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ��😭😭😭 𝐒𝐑𝐒 𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐚 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐡𝐜𝐬 ;) 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 :𝟑

𝐓𝐰: 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐓𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐌𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒/𝐎

✦ · 𝐌𝐢𝐳𝐮𝐤𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐢𝐲𝐚𝐦𝐚 · ✦

⋆ It was cold saturday night and Mizuki decided to invite you over , just so the two of you could cuddle and binge watch some anime together

⋆ And besides 25ji had decided to take the night off today so Mizuki would love to hug you under the blankets

It had been about 30mins since Mizuki sended you a message on Nightcord asking you if you wanted to spend the night over at their house

Which of course you agreed to , you told them that you would just get ready by packing some stuff take a quick shower and you would go to their house

While Mizuki cleaned their room even tho it wasn't that dirty , they still wanted it to look nice for you , they also prepared some snacks and drinks for the both of you

After they were done setting everything up they sitted down and waited you arrive , in the meantime they picked what animes you guys should watch 😋

After waiting for about 10mins you arrived , and Mizuki went to the door as fast as they could to let you in

HI MIZUKI HOW IS MY CUTE LOVER DOING THIS EVENING ?

You hugged them tight while you said that and since you were slightly taller than them you accidentally lifted them up , but Mizuki happily replied

I'm doing amazing , also I settled everything up already if you wanna sit and relax a bit

As long as I get to cuddle my lovely partner yes I'd love to ~

Mizuki blushed a little at your compliment but tried hiding it

Well of course now shall we go upstairs ~

You gave Mizuki a kiss on their cheek an replied

Yes lovely ~

And once again you made Mizuki blush and once again they tried hiding it

Once you reached the room all the two of you did was get onto bed and cuddle

You sat yourself behind Mizuki and hugged them from behind and from that hour on all you did was hug Mizuki

(S/O) are you sure you don't wanna do something else ?

I'm sure Mizuki

Mizuki knew you lived physical affection and they were a bit touch starved anyway so they loved your company

You hugged them tighter and said

Just being close to you and being able to hold your hands and hug you is enough for me Love

You gave Mizuki a kiss on the back of their head and said

I love you Mizuki

Mizuki turned around now laying on your chest and said after giving you a kiss on the lips

I love you too (S/O)

And with that the two of you slept the night away

✦ · 𝐓𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐚 𝐓𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐚 · ✦

⋆ According to Rui RoboNene had malfunctioned Nene was sick and Emu was busy helping her sister so practice was cancelled for today

⋆ So Tsukasa invited you to go on a date with him this afternoon because there was a café he never got the chance to show you so this was the perfect opportunity

The two of you agreed to meet up at 3 o'clock in front of his house , and from there you would go to the café together

Once you arrived at his house he was already outside waiting for you , which made you think you kept him waiting to long

Sorry if I made you wait to long Kasa

Oh no it's alright my lovely co-star you didn't keep me waiting at all !

He said while hugging you tightly and giving you a kiss

He was very excited to hang out with you since he doesn't get much time to hang out with you because of practice, but he finally got some free time now poor Nene tho

Shall we go now than my star?~

*cough* yes

He tried hiding his blushing but it's so obvious you think , he might as well give up

On your way to the café the two of you held hands and were very close to eachother , since Tsukasa knew you liked physical affection

And besides Tsukasa was a fan of physical affection himself so ofcourse he would enjoy holding hands with you

The two of you were so close to eachother that anyone that passed by the two of you , could clearly tell that the two of you were a couple

The trip to the café wasn't a long one since the café was not that far from Tsukasas house , so that's why he asked you to meet up at his house

The two of you got your ordered some pastries and some drink , but that was when Tsukasa felt something on his shoulder

Oh? Did you fall asleep?

No silly I just wanted to lean on your shoulder if that's alright

Well then ofcourse

The customers couldn't tell the difference between a tomato and Tsukasa once you started clinging onto his arm , I don't think he was trying to hide it at this point since he knew there was no point

Once your food and drinks arrived the two of you are while talking about stuff until the plate was empty and of course the two of you let eachother taste eachothers food

And once again Tsukasa got a bit red when he was gonna give you a piece of his food , I mean how could he not you looked so adorable

Once it was time to pay Tsukasa was getting his money out but it turns out you payed so Tsukasa got confused which lead to him asking you on the way back to his house

Love?

Yes my star?

Why did you pay for the café even though you knew I was gonna pay?

There was a moment of silence and within that moment the two of you reached his house and a you already had agreed to spend the night at his house so you went in and took his hand on your and said

Because I wanted to thank you for staying with me I love you very much Tsukasa

I love you too S/O

After that the two you changed your clothes and cuddle to sleep since the two were very tired

Notes: TSUKASA MIGHT BE A LITTLE OOC IK I HAVEN'T FINISHED WXS STORY TWT 😭😭😭 BUT I HOPE YOU LIKED IT and please take a break rest eat something and drink water have a nice day/night bye !!!

[letterbombbreakdown]

okok so today I went to the archery club it was so fun :D its such an inconvenient location though there's almost no cell service out there, I was lucky enough to get 1 bar in the clubhouse but it's roughhhh and theres no bus stops!! so either learn to drive (ughhhhh) Uber multiple times a week (who the fuck has money for that) orrrr hopefully there's a bus stop and I just have to walk like 20mins to get there???? idk bro •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

anyways when I got there I was sososo scared but I'm glad I went :D basically since I don't have a bow yet I just walked around the course to see if I want to join the club (I do). So I went with 1 leader guy and 2 newer recurve guys, one of them I heard him talk and went "OMG FELLOW FAGGOT ohwait hes just indian" HE SOUNDED LIKE THE FAG ACCENT OKAY. but he was niceys to me I like him, he answered my questions and talked to me ^_^ and when I left he said see you next week hopefully:D also he was wearing grey sweatpants 💀💀 I saw a little too much 💀 anyways so most clubs in my city are just target archery since they rent land from the council or farmers, but this club owns the land and there's a course through the forest with animal targets at different distances and heights and stuff :D there's a way to get out early, about 30mins in but I just went for the whole course like 2 hours 💀 I got there around 9.30 and finished at 1pm lmaooo also it was really muddy and I fell and ate shit <3

So sometime this week I'm going to [local archery store] to get my stuff and then on Sunday I'll be able to go and shoot :D they have a bunch of targets at distances set up on the field so I'm gonna practice there and get someone to spot me and then do the course thing. I hate waking up at 7am on Sundays though </3

[notfreetoday]

First of all - Sailor Moon was my first anime and I still have the Sailor Moon cards 🤣🤣 Thank you for the tag and the question!! As usual, I have taken something that could be answered in 30secs and turned it into 30mins! I hope you don't mind the length 😅

I'm just wondering if Segasaki choosing to to call him Yoh-kun essentially immediately is something that would be considered normal. I imagine age dynamics/seniority are probably a factor as well

Yes, this would be considered normal, and you are right that seniority plays a part! (the short answer ends here 🤣)

The suffix -kun is usually used for males, although it can, in certain situations, also be used for females. It is considered a polite form of address, though is comparatively a little less polite than -san. Hence, in modern day Japanese, it's usually used to refer to someone who is either of equal rank to you, or lower.

Wrt it being used to signify a close relationship - it really depends on the context. Going from -san to -kun definitely signifies a change in relationship to one that is closer, or more intimate. The use of -kun alone without any prior comparison though, does not tell us anything about the horizontal distance between the two speakers - ie, how close they are - particularly when they are both males, since in University it is very common to use -kun amongst males to address their peers or their juniors (we could sort of take a gander at the possible vertical distance between them though, using other contextual clues).

So, as the senior, Segasaki is well within his right and the social norm to address Yoh as -kun. Of course, if Yoh had actually remembered to give his full name, Tanada Yoh, and Segasaki chose Yoh-kun instead of Tanada-kun, then we could make the argument that Segasaki was at least interested in coming across as friendlier/closer by choosing to use Yoh's first name over his last name. (Going straight to Yoh, without any suffix, would just be plain rude, unless they were in the same university activity club or something similar).

But, if Yoh had jumped straight to Mizuki-kun, then that would be unusual and slightly presumptive, because that would technically imply that he might not be respecting Segasaki's position as his senior, and could come across as rude (again, context plays a big part). Tbf, as the junior in the relationship it's already presumptive to jump straight to Mizuki-san, so the fact that Segasaki simply laughs this off without correcting Yoh signals to us that he's probably a pretty nice guy. (In case you were wondering, both Mizuki and Yoh are very obviously first names, so Yoh can't exactly claim ignorance here.)

This is a slight tangent but - it is common practice to use -kun as a term of reference when addressing fellow politicians at the National Diet (link in Jp), regardless of gender, in order to ensure that social hierarchy does not interfere with the political discussions.

Anyway @halliescomut hope this answers your question and feel free to ask anything else you want to know! Or tag me in your meta again, like that incredibly detailed analysis of Yoh's drawings!

"Ah ... I heard someone call you that."

MY PERSONAL WEATHERMAN (2023). Episode 6.

[therealvalkyrie]

god i’m so sorry to bring that up like a very annoying person but…… it really bugged me

what you described in your fic « deserving » is not at all how you should treat a nosebleed…… quite the opposite actually

you should never put your head back and plz don’t ever put gauze (or anything else for that matter) in your nose to stop the bleeding…. it’s a very common misconception but you really shouldn’t and i’m not saying this because my entourage told me saw but as someone trained to give first aid

i feel like its time to share what you actually should or shouldn’t do here and why to educate everyone reading your blog

so here what you actually should do:

sit up right, put your head slightly forward and press your nose (not to hard) with your fingers for at least 10min.

all the material you need to treat a nosebleed are your hands and water and towels to clean yourself from the blood afterwards.

you really dont want to put your head back bcz you’ll be swallowing blood and that’s not great bcz you’ll end up vomiting

plz never put anything inside your nose especially not cotton balls (they’re the worst!! they tend to stick to your wound and this is a problem..). The reason for that is that, once the bleeding stop and you remove the thing you had put in to stop the bleeding, it’ll tore open the healed again and you’ll be re-bleeding.

you want to gently blow your nose every few minutes to avoid blood clots to form for the same reason you don’t put anything inside your bleeding nostril; when the blood clot dry it’ll become annoying and you risk re-bleeding once it get out. you have to be very gentle when doing this.

if your bleeding is caused by and head injury, lasts for more than 30min, is frequent or very abundant or if it’s in a child under 2 go see a doctor asap !!!! don’t take this lightly.

using gauze is usually the better way to clean and bandage a cut or open wound because it is made for this use and won’t fall appart on the wound, i’m happy you mentioned gauze in your fic instead of anything else, but for a nosebleed it’s not appropriate.

again i’m sorry to bother you with this but this is important and too many people don’t know how to correctly treat a nosebleed, i took this as the perfect opportunity to teach people how to do this

hi! thank you for taking the time to educate me, i can see you’re very passionate about the subject.

y’know, i debated while writing the fic whether or not to include this line (which is the one i think you’re so incensed about):

“you open your watery eyes and tilt your head back like your mom always told you to do with a nosebleed.“

because (and i know this might come as a shock to you, considering you assumed i don’t know anything at all!) i do actually know that you’re not supposed to tilt your head back when your nose is bleeding. i have some first aid training, and was a nanny to my little cousin with frequent nosebleeds for a summer a while back. (though, i wouldn’t expect you to know that:))

but i thought to myself, “what might your average high schooler who’s just been bonked in the face do?” and i said to myself, “why, self, she might not know this little tidbit of fairly obscure first aid information, and might simply rely on a common misconception that perhaps her mother told her!” and i called it a day.

you might note, also, that there are no qualified medical personnel or first responders at the volleyball practice in question who would know what to do with a nose break. one could argue that the coaches might have some first aid training, but it’s my goddamn story, and in this particular little fantasy i concocted about falling in love with anime men, they do not. so they did what they thought was right and patched her up with stuff from the first aid kit, as best as they were able. (and, as you might note, i never said anyone put gauze inside her nose.)

now, when we get to the nurse’s office, one might also argue that the nurse would have handled it differently! because she is in fact a qualified medical professional. perhaps i could have included some dialogue about how she instructed our dear reader to gently blow her nose. alas, i did not.

luckily, i don’t believe anyone’s coming to my blog for emergency medical advice! and if someone takes what i’ve written in a self-indulgent little fantasy about falling in love with an anime boy as indisputably correct medical fact, i can’t exactly say that’s on me. that one can be pinned on whoever neglected to teach them reading comprehension or how to separate fiction from reality.

what it comes down to is that i believe what i wrote makes sense within the context of the story. thanks again for taking the time out of your day to educate me. please know that i, too, once suffered from insufferable know-it-all disease, and there is a path to redemption. godspeed.

[blumoosh]

Personally, the highlight of the entire DNF dream discord podcast wasn't the last 15mins of the stream or the result of the quiz even but Dream and George practically leaking with domestic vibe throughout.

It's the way they didn't have to say a single word in a call earlier and how it wasn't awkward (x), because they're super comfortable and at ease with each other despite sitting in silent for 30mins or more. It's the way George went on a tangent about Twitch's new animated emote and Dream humoring him. It's the way Dream told the story of how George taste tested Dream burger and said he didn't like the avocado so Dream was surprise that in George's vid he'd said it was the best burger ever. It's the way Dream and George discussed what George should eat at 3am and George seeking confirmation from Dream of what he should order from McDonald. It's the way George randomly started to count napkins and Dream just let him (x). It's the way George get momentarily distracted by his food's warning label and started to read the nutritional information from it and Dream sit through the entire thing uninterrupted. And it's the way they both coincidentally have a galaxy background and neither knew of it until now. Some how, these two managed to make the podcast so homey and chill and intimate even though they were an ocean apart and had thousands of viewers tuning into see the Dream and George's show.

But you know what my favorite part is? It's whenever Dream brought up an idea he has but refused to share it, George would throw a fit about it, threatening to mute up and Dream scrambling to undo it. This happen not once, twice, but a total of three times (x, x, x)! George is such a Scorpio that he would wield his silent over Dream and Dream crumbling like a wet paper everytime to appease him. Dream knows this and even tried to use chat to emotionally blackmail George to unmute one time. Unwittingly, this made chat feel like a child caught between two parents arguing and being use as a pawn in their little game. It's so keenly familiar and they do this all unconsciously, like this is a battle they fought many times before. Unseen, unknown to us until now, exposing the intimate parts of their friendship to startling eyes because Dream and George just bleed home to each other.

[itsstickball]

Twinyards bonding?

Mk, so I have lots of feelings about this, but none of them are coherent enough to write a full scene. So have a mix of snippets, shouts into the void and undeniable facts.

Therapy:

The first step to Aaron and Andrew actually bonding is to stop fucking fighting each other. Not in the “I disagree with you and we’re arguing” way, or the “please for the love of god stop doing that” way but in the “I feel like a cornered animal whose only options are to tear myself and everything around me to pieces” way.

They have to learn to let each other go a little bit at a time until they’re no longer strangling each other in an attempt to prevent the other from leaving them.

Bee is more than happy to help and so even though Andrew is no longer required to see her weekly anymore, nobody bats an eye when the twins change out and leave practice early on Wednesdays. (well, except Jack, but even Kevin chews him out for that so)

It takes time, as there’s a lot of shit to wade through, but eventually they get to the point where they can tread water next to each other instead of using their brother as a life-raft and drowning them in the process. (or letting themselves be drowned)

I also have many thoughts on video games:

It is an undeniable, in-book, canon fact that the cousins own some type of console and played games on it with each other.

And okay, sure, Aaron moves out and eventually, so does Nicky. And I’m assuming that the console follows them. But Andrew doesn’t hate himself to put up with the amount of Exy Neil and Kevin try to talk to him about in the name of avoiding the others.

Thankfully, the first time he goes to the other room, Aaron’s the one to open the door. He takes Andrew’s request to shoot zombies with them at face value (unlike Matt, who side-eyes him for the next 30min, and Nicky who looks like he is torn between starting a conversation about it or crying) and lets him in.

After that, it’s a thing.

Whenever they’re about to start a campaign, or just play battle royales or whatever, Aaron shoots Andrew a text. He doesn’t always respond, but when he does, he doesn’t start any shit (unlike Aaron – and occasionally Matt, who are ready to cut a bitch if they get kicked off the map or taken out by an enemy unexpectedly).

Once the twins are legal, he even contributes to the beer supply rather than just stealing Matt’s. (And if he purposefully buys the kind that Aaron likes best, well, it’s bonding. It has nothing at all to do with Matt’s beer-snob rants about watered-down piss.)

I also headcanon that while they enjoy your typical multiplayer shoot-em up and free-range games that Andrew is secretly boss at the story-oriented games and that he finds all of the obscure quests and things. His memory helps, of course, but mostly he’s just significantly better than the rest of them at figuring out the plot points. If Aaron’s ever stuck on one, Andrew will sit beside him and walk him through it – or, if Aaron’s frustrated enough, he just hands the controller over.

Video games become some of the first presents they regularly give each other. Neither one really likes doing anything for their birthday, but they’ll spend the morning playing some new game that Nicky bought until their SOs drag them out somewhere. And there is almost always a flat rectangle or two underneath their Christmas tree in Colombia.

Nicky tried to join the trend one year and accidentally bought Andrew the same game that Aaron did. I’ll give you three guesses as to which game he kept and which one only had the top corner of the wrapping paper removed.

Exy:

This is less fuzzy and more assholes bonding over a sport that holds mediocre interest to them. Which is to say, that they bond over shitting on it.

They have a running game of who can get Kevin to lose his shit the most for mispronouncing, mis-explaining or just generally disregarding exy terms, plays and regulations.

When Andrew goes pro, Aaron goes to at least one game a season – more if he’s able.

Love:

Alright, I need you to listen very carefully to this one: Aaron and Andrew are two complex individuals who are very capable of love and are capable of supporting each other in that despite their difference in tastes.

Let me repeat:

Aaron and Andrew are capable of love.

Aaron and Andrew support each other in this area, despite their differences.

I’m not saying that it happens overnight, but there’s a reason therapy came first in this list. Aaron probably gets comfortable with Neil first, since they have an increased proximity, but I’m sure that Andrew has to see Katelyn – especially in their fourth and fifth years when Neil is captain and it’s “exy this” and “stickball that.”

At first, Andrew and Katelyn are tense around each other, but eventually he comes to figure out what Neil did (and what Aaron did about Neil that night on the cabin porch) – which is that she genuinely cares about him and would probably cut a bitch if they tried to say she was just using him.

(The first time Katelyn stands up for herself to him, it’s fairly vicious. Andrew gives her a smile, small but genuine and doesn’t retaliate. He might as well have written “welcome to the family” on his forehead.)

Andrew is Aaron’s best man at their wedding, though he declines to give a speech at the reception. He throws Aaron a dope bachelor’s party though, even if he’s very clearly monitoring the substances consumed at it.

Aaron is not there to witness the brief courthouse ceremony Andrew and Neil have (fight me, Nora). But he notices the ring on Andrew’s finger the next time he sees him and gives them a heartfelt “congratulations.”

Nicky is wounded that neither of them tell him and he has to find out when Neil comes out via roasting a reporter over two years later.

But anyway, the Minyards, growing closer a little bit at a time, in their own way. 100% 10/10 content.

[josiesjournal]

01/05/2020 - 22:58

The start of 2020 has been both eventful and painful thus far for many different reasons, but if anything, I know it’s the universe showing me that good things are coming.

New Year’s Eve itself was amazing to say the least. Keelan and I spent most of the night at his parents’ house playing card games, until about 11:45 - you could kinda tell from the look on everyone’s faces that it was well past bedtime, but me, wanting to bring out my inner party animal because it’s all I’ve known how to do the past couple New Years, I decided to take one of my marijuana gummies just before we were leaving; I had this epiphany right before we got in the car and I whispered in Keelan’s ear ‘I want to go for a drive with you.’

He was willing, but curious. ‘Okay, where do you want to go?’

‘The clock tower.’

At this point in time, the drugs have fully taken over and I’m high as a kite, but Keelan listens to me and drives downtown to park in front of the clock tower. As we’re getting out of the car, the clock is playing a tune before it strikes midnight, but not it’s normal song that you would hear throughout the day - I’m not sure if it was playing the song to welcome the new year or the new decade, but with the snow blowing around us as I stared up at the clock tower, it was one of the most magical experiences I’ve ever had, and the most magical New Year’s kiss for sure too.

A few days later, I’m at work and I’m doing a renewal for a client’s policy. I recognize the name and remember that this guy’s wife has a Mini Cooper - didn’t think anything of it at first until I realized that the Mini’s plates had been cancelled, with new plates on a 2019 Volkswagen. At this point in time, I’m too excited to handle anything, and had to wait until I was done my full time job and part time job on top of that in order to take a drive by this Mini. On my local Volkswagen dealership’s ad, it mentions that it’s red (even though they have basic google search pictures of a dark blue one) and an automatic, which really got me down at first but hey, it’s a Mini. I have to do a drive by anyways, why not? I find this car in the far corner of VW’s second lot, and I’m mystified by this thing as I’m getting out of my car. 2016 Mini Cooper with a white panoramic roof, and.. what’s this? 6 speed manual? At this point in time, I’m convinced that I have to at least test drive this thing - I don’t necessarily have to buy it, but I have to drive it. Why not take it for a few donuts in a parking lot in the snow, just to see how it handles in the winter?

The next day (Friday) I call VW and book the test drive for this car for about noon on Saturday, without telling them I had plans to take it home for the weekend to show Keelan, considering he’s never seen a Mini up close before, let alone been in a Mini at all. Saturday sounds great - it’s my day off and I don’t have anything else planned other than laundry and gym, both of which can wait. Mini tales full priority right now.

But when your manager at your part time job calls you on Saturday and offers an extra 7 hour shift that would cut in on your Mini test drive - can you really say no? I agree to work the shift and call VW to cancel my test drive, guy agrees with me says we’ll see how next Friday looks, provided the Mini is still there. I get to work, and I had woken up with pain in my back earlier in the morning, which was concerning to me since I already had a bladder infection - untreated and not officially diagnosed, but after some quick internet research, I was at least 98% sure. As I work my shift, the pain in my back starts radiating up to the front left side of my abdomen and is practically unbearable at the point where my second coworker shows up, and my managers offers to let me go home as soon as she’s had her lunch break. I’m a little reluctant, as I hate to be a pain in her ass by doing that, and I’d also hate to miss out on making extra money, but I caved pretty easily and agreed to go home.

As I’m leaving the mall with a new bottle of Advil and some snacks for me to have at home, a truck with some familiar decals catches my eye as I’m leaving, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s a CP truck. Mild war flashbacks, but I’ve already convinced myself it isn’t him. So I’m walking alongside this truck on the sidewalk, it stops to let people cross and I decide to cross safely behind the truck to get to my own car. The truck goes to the lot over from mine, and as I’m struggling to get in my car with how stupid the remote start is for locking me out then shutting my vehicle off as soon as I open the door, I decide to just take a glance. Just a glance. It’ll be fine.

Welp, wouldn’t you know it folks, it was not fine.

It’s him.

I immediately look away and start fumbling with my keys, desperate to get in my car at this point in time. I’m so ready to get out of this parking lot. I manage to get into my car just as he parks the truck, and as he’s walking across the other parking lot, I’m backing out of my parking space and I’m fucking gone. I stop in a different parking lot briefly to dial Megan’s number, but I’m shaking so bad that I can hardly type it out. For that being the first time I had actually seen my ex since we broke up, I felt.. angry. Even just looking at the man was frustrating and left this feeling in my chest that I couldn’t even describe. I thought about what our interaction would’ve been like if he had seen me working in the mall, at the place where he usually gets his t-shirts, and I was so thankful to have dodged that bullet.

So I have Megan on the phone at this point, because who else do you call when you have all these thoughts running through your head after seeing your ex for the first time since your breakup in July? I take her on wonderful adventures with me to my own house to pack clothes so that I can spend the night at Keelan’s, and I take her on my drive all the way to Kimberley. Our conversation ended once I got there, and my pain had subsided since leaving my part time job, but now that I was at Keelan’s house, my pain was a 100x worse. Keelan came home from work not even 5 minutes after I had gotten there, and I had been keeping him up to date on the whole situation so once he got there and saw me writhing and crying on the couch in pain, he convinced me it was time to go to the hospital. Gave me two extra strength tylonel and popped me in the car to go to town.

As we’re driving there, my pain starts to subside again. We go sit down to eat, since my pain is practically non-existent at this point, and end up going to Home Depot to look at bath faucets, which we had been talking about for a while now. All of that and my pain still wasn’t evident, so we went back to my place for a bit, because I knew that the pain would come back eventually, and when it did, I’d be ready and willing to go to the hospital at that point. We ended up having a nap that was maybe only 30mins long, and I wake up to the same pain, plus nausea on top of it now. Off to the hospital we go.

As I’m standing in the ER line waiting to be seen, I can hardly stand and I’m ready to puke. Keelan’s there being the strong supportive pillar he is, and for actually having someone here for the first time for my 4th hospital trip in 5 months, I’m so happy he’s here. Within 10mins, the nurse brings me in and writes down everything I’ve been feeling and experiencing, then sends me away to collect my own urine sample, which I knew they were going to do at some point, but despite that, I had just emptied my bladder before we had left the house. Side note - do you know how hard it is to pee when it hurts every single time, and when you’re fighting back the urge to vomit, on top of more pain?

I bring back the urine sample and get registered at the front desk, wrist tag and all. Keelan and I sit down in the waiting room, which is the busiest I’ve seen it in my last couple trips. Give it maybe an hour or two and my name is called to go into the ER, and within 15 minutes of sitting down on a hospital bed, there’s a doctor in my room explaining how he’s going to write me a prescription for antibiotics for my bladder infection, which is all fine and dandy, but he mentions nothing of the pain I’m feeling. Maybe the nurse hadn’t noted it, which is understandable, but it’s also the whole reason why I’m here, so I pipe up and say something and he tries telling me that my pain is the pain associated with my bladder infection, which I know is very evidently not. He then tells me it’s probably some unrelated constipation and writes me a second prespcrition for laxatives. Great. I leave the ER to go to the pharmacy in the hospital, and wouldn’t you know it, it’s nearly 10pm, so this pharmacy, along with every single one in the city, is closed, which means I get to suffer through my pain for a solid 12 more hours. Double great. We go home to Kimberley and go to bed relatively late, but I’m up at least three times throughout the night, tossing and turning with this pain, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, which is nearly impossible at this point. I’ve got Keelan awake by 8:30am, which is when I’m ready to go get my prescriptions, but quickly found out that the only pharmacy in Kimberley is closed until 11am, so back into Cranbrook we go. I pick up my prescriptions, and the liquid inside the bottle, which is apparently my laxative, is daunting, but once I get home and actually take it, it tastes surprisingly good. I’m thinking ‘okay, this should hit me in about two or three hours and then I’ll be good to go’ but little do I know, laxative takes at least 48 hours to actually starting working. Triple great.

Best news of the day was that I got a couple of snuggles in with Mew during nap time; something about female cats with females, I swear she always knows when I’m feeling down.

Bottom line, there’s been some shitty starts to 2020 for sure (no pun intended..) but there’s always potential for things to start looking up, and lately, I’ve had Keelan to thank for his amazing positive attitude keeping me afloat. The man’s willingness to take care of me was like nothing I’ve ever seen in a partner before and I don’t know how to express how thankful I am for him and everything he does, despite telling him over and over and over and over the past couple days. Every day I find something new about Keelan that makes me fall in love with him a little bit more, and despite feeling like I know him like the back of my hand, he always has something else up his sleeve to surprise me with.

So here’s to you, my love, and our fresh start to 2020. I truly wouldn’t want anyone else by my side to start the new year and the new decade with.

[typingxd-blog]

IxD_P6: Game Design

This project requires to design a game! Just for fun. 

As a gamer, I am super interested in games. I did what I could do the best to create the game within the limited time. 

Research

Games have 3 main types:

Party Game

Tabletop Game

Video Game

They stand for three different interactive ways. 

Party Game

People vs People (PVP)

usually short time games(no longer than 3 hours)

super easy to understand the rules

for the medium or large group of people

less money

Tabletop Game

PVP / PVE( People vs Computer) 

Materials’ needed (card, map etc)

Places’ needed (table)

Medium hard to understand the rules

Medium time (30mins-2 hours)

Video Game

Online PVP, Offline PVE

hard to access for PC console/ gaming devices

but easier for general access(phone, arcade)

strategies' needed, sometimes practices' needed

can play without gathering people

usually, longer time to play

Three Distinct Games:

Video Game: Overwatch

Genre: FPS video game + MOBA (sort of) + Skills Award: 2016 TGA Game of the Year (Best Gaming Award) Context: 6v6 team-based game that the goal is to achieve the objective The degree of skill: High degree of skill, complicated to new players Why this is fun: Since this is a team-based game. a corporation with teammates is especially important. Playing the game with friends is fun. Overall it is a fast-speed game, it literally has a fight 30s after the game started. Each game takes aprx. 10-25 mins on average. 

Tabletop Game: Chess

Objective: checkmate Degree os skill: hard to be pro Material: Board + 32 pieces + 2 people Why it is fun: chess is a tournament game between 2 people that every time eating opponents' chess makes you exciting. 

Party Game: BS(Bullshit)

Objective: just for fun Context: 1st player will say a thing about themselves(can be anything), if other players think the 1st player is lying, they can say "BS." If what 1st player said was true, the person who said "BS" will be punished, vise versa.  Degree of Skill／Goal: Need a little brainwork.

Prototype:

I guessed other group of people would like to create multiple players game, me and my group were planning the other way. RPG game was the best solution for the single player. Considering this project only had 5 days until due, we minimized the processes and details of our game(animation, picture, character design etc.), and the final product is a word-based, choices, classical RPG game. 

It is an advanture story that the player, as the main character, is accidently presented in a different world. While the main character is trying to figure out a way home, he find out that the world is under a huge conspiracy. 

The script has totally of 2800+ words, almost 30+ choices. There are some critical choices that leads to different endings(one happy ending, one happy/sad ending, and one sad ending). You might die in the middle of the game because of the choices. 

Prototype_Background Introduction

We executed the game in Mac Terminal, using the python language. Obviously the prototype had a lot of problems: layout, typo, hard to read etc. Since my group was more care about the logic of the game for the prototype, we weren't do much on the interface.   

Final Product_Improved_Background Introduction

Improvement: 

Layout

Font

Bigger font

Enter Instruction(confuse people when there is no choice)

Final Product_Enter Name

Final Product_Main Story_1

Main Story_Choice 1:

For now, if the player keep selecting Keep calm and sleep on, the system will determine the first death of the game. 

Main Story_Choice 1_First Death

However, the game exsit a SAVE system. Every time the player dies, it will automatically start over from the nearest save point. (First death will start over from Wake Up on the Beach).

Main Story_Choice 2:

Notice, the Press ENTER to continue will continue to appear until the player finish the first part of the main story, so that the player won't be confused when there is no choice on the screen. 

[vulbyte]

story time!

hi, sorry but i haven’t posted anything good in a while so i thought i’d post something related to the animation i’m working on!... it’s only a small chunk and i’m kinda nervous about posting this but i’d love some feed back, so i hope you all enjoy!.. also this will related to the comic and animation so please keep that in mind... also, please don’t be too harsh...

prolouge

>insert and family is out on their yearly camping trip. The day is a normal clear day. The drive to the camping grounds is along a paved dirt road with trees to both sides. There are trees to both sides and the road is quite long, insert is waking up from his sleep and this is where the story starts…<

Chapter 1: back again for the dozenth time.

I wake from my sleep with a bang to my head and an instant headache. I quickly jolt up with the music from my phone still playing in my ears. It’s house music, with bleed from the car's stereo. I look out the window to my right seeing the bumpy gravel road and a wall of pine trees… as we pass the trees it all looks so similar like a pattern on loop… there’s very little fauna on the ground due to the lack of light caused by the canopy of the trees… any part of light that does shine threw looks like a small island in a sea of orange dead plant remains…

    I look forward seeing that my parents sitting in the front seat. Lightly bobbing and dipping their heads to the music that they're listening to. Dads tapping his fingers on the wheel while he’s snickering about something, while mom taps her hand on the wheel. i can't stand the “best of the 80’s” rock my dad likes so much. Not for the fact it’s rock, but for the idea of listening to the same song for the 200th time is just too much. I would love for him to be a little more open minded about his music choices but it’s just a never ending uphill battle with bad puns mocking the1 edm artist he knows i like and endless claiming that edm isn’t music. But i got my lovely headphones which have broke at least 10 times but i'm too cheap to replace them and i can deal with the slight noise they give off.

    I look to my right noticing my younger brother and sister some how sleeping threw that massive pot hole. My brothers against the left door. Drool running down his face and down the door dripping on the handle. My sister’s head is tilted right forward supported only by her neck and her chest. I move my left arm noticing how uncomfortable it is and i can quickly feel all the blood rushing back into my arm making me feel like i got dozens of pins suddenly stuck in my arm. I notice dad glance in the rear view mirror look back in the mirror and notice that i’m now awake. I can notice him talking but can’t hear a word he’s saying due to my music. Take an ear bud out to hear the middle of his “good morning world” speech…

“-lmost at the camp ground! Can’t wait for this weekend! How about you kid?”

“other than the recent blunt force trauma to my head i think alright…”

“Yeah, meant to hit that one. Was hoping you and the others would wake up!”

    “welp, your plan worked for one of us…”

“Meh, better one than none…”

        “thanks, my brain cells appreciate it…”

Mom quickly buts into the conversation sensing my bitter mood.

        “Hey hun, could you please take this piece of paper to the office once we park at the camp ground and tell them that we’ve arrived?”

    “sure, i can probably say hi so shawn while i’m there.”

        “Thanks, hun!”

I notice we’re right beside the office as she says this and i quickly jump out of the car ignoring the whole wait “till we park” so i don't have to wait 10 minutes for dad to back it.

I look upon the rotting shack thinking of how this place was when i was much younger. Now it just looks like an old house outta a bad horror movie. I look thru the window on the door trying to see shawn while i walk in. i quickly hear a chime followed by shawns voice coming from behind the counter,

“Just a second!”

    I look over the counter seeing the big guys ass move back and forth while trying to do something to the computer. I look around the office placing the paper on the counter, noticing a chair behind me. Kick the chair behind me and fall back into it. Making a screeching across the floor. I see a small spark and shawn's voice quickly follows

“FUCK! Shit shouldn't have said that with a customer in here. Fuck, shouldn’t have said that… i should just shut the fuck up… i’m just going to shut up…”

    “yea, ya should.”

“Hey! Is that you insert?!”

    “yup” (adding a popping sound after words.)

“Hey, i know i asked you this the other day but why did you literally change all your usernames to that?”

    “a bunch of annoying idiots in school where mocking me in school, they were pissed i was inserted into their group last year even though i did literally all of the work and got them a high b. buy anyways they started calling me insert along with rest of the school. It started to bug me but i decided to own it and it still bugs me but least i own it and other people can’t use it to bug me. a kinda win…”

“Well, ya should stop moving so much”

    “ya, i can totally control what my parents do”

“Oh hey, did you know the tides supposed to be really low tonight?

    “yay, another low tide. we can go pick dead seaweed and watch crabs eat dead starfish.”

“No, it’s supposed to be really low.”

    “okay, i see what you’re getting at. how low?”

“Low enough to see the what's at the bottom of sandy bay...”

    “what’s at the bottom?”

“No once can tell, the currents so strong they can’t send divers in there because they’ll get pinned against the bays seamounts.” and the sand causes whatever is down there to be distorted. They got a good idea what’s down there but they're not completely certain.”

    “okay. so there’s going to be a massively low tide on a super crowded beach, you know how i hate being in crowded areas…”

“Dude, thats the best part! Did you hear about that big earthquake yesterday up north?”

“no, i’ve been in a car for the last 2 days with the only access to internet being the hotel wi-fi for 30min before i passed out at 4am, and the 3 gigs of cell data, no wait. 1.5 gigs because i need the other half to get back and i’m not wasting it looking for news.”

“Okay okay i get ya, i know you’re a music whore”

    “bitch you know i am!”

“Anyways, there is going to be another one tonight that’s supposed to cause a huge rip! an-”

    “how big?”

“Huge! At least  250 km long and 50 km wide there expecting!”

    “woah, where is it happening?”

“That’s the best and probably only good part! From ahousat down to seattle!” there’s a huge evacuation going on because of it!”

    “ya realize we’re there right?”

“Ya, my parents already jumped ship. They were practically dragging me out the door but i convinced them to let me stay!”

    “how?!”

“Well i told them what i told you at the beginning.”

    “I know you better than that. What you actually say?”

“...i told them i’d watch over the visitors…”

    “was that so hard?”

“Yeah! If i skip work to go to this this thing you’ll tell my parents!”

    “dude, i said something that you did which i don’t even think is or was bad in front of old staff of this place. when we were 8! we’ve literally doubled our life since then. and other than that technicality i would never tell on you! You’ve covered me more than enough! now shut up and when’s this thing happening?”

“It’s supposed to fracture at around 1am tonight.”

    “what’s supposed to fracture?”

“Remember 8th grade scie-”

    “ohhhhhh, so a tectonic plate is going to break off tonight? or at least a chunk?”

“Before you interrupted me i was going to tell you that but yeah, it is…”

    “so you wanna meet up on the beach later tonight? just us?”

“No man! I gotta work!”

    “uhhh, we’re the only ones staying here tonight. literally the whole campground is empty except for us. and probably the town now that i think about it.”

“Fine! You promise not to tell!”

    “what are we? 8 again? of course i won’t tell on you if you come! but i might say ya did if ya don’t!”

“Fine! I’ll come but you better not tell!”

    “for the 3rd time i won’t, and this is your thing not mine. you should be pumped!”

“I am but i’m also scared about what my parents might say or do if they find out!”

I turn around walk towards the door and walk thru the door and say

“they won’t meet me at my campground tonight!

And i shut the door behind me.

_______________________________________________________________

if you read it i hope you enjoyed it and please leave some feed back! i’d love to hear what you have to say!

[xpurpleshadesx]

Everyday life: Mondays could suck less.

Was I afraid? Yes. In all honesty it was a normal morning though I could feel something was wrong the moment my alarm go off. I didn't take a shower just change into whatever was there, I had to do laundry that morning and so I did . I didn't say "good morning" because it wasn't. I took a cup of coffee and a sandwich my grandmother hand me. I ate it while looking to instagram and waited for my laundry to finish. It was really early so I decided to lay down and wait, and wait. I felt something in my stomach, like it was empty and it kind of hurt. My brain was repeating "wrong, wrong, wrong" and well something was wrong. Minutes later my laundry was ready, it was still to early to leave for class I went back to my room to wait. The more I waited the feeling grew and soon I was crying, I was afraid. I didn't want to leave the safety of my room, I knew if I leave people would talk to me and I didn't want to fake everything was fine when it clearly wasn't. I had this feeling I would cry the moment I put a foot outside just like that one time. Too many people. It was just too much. I couldn't go. But skipping class was no option, my mom would probably kill me if I skip. But knowing I would be there and people would expect something from me I couldn't give them made me cry more. I didn't want to repeat last week Lab, when the instructor asked a simple question and I froze, my heart was so loud and heard people laughing probably at the face I make, I wasn't breathing, the bone in my hands was to heavy and I wanted to close my eyes and never open them again, I probably stutter the answer and it was a murmur suddenly the bone was out of my hands and the instructor started explaining something, I don't know if he saw me panicking but I was glad it was over, but I still have 2:37 min left of class, and 8 more Labs to go. And really I could skip but... I couldn't... I just wanted to stop being afraid. I tried to stay calm but it was impossible I was afraid and no one could do something, no one would, because no one care.

I ended up going, I was right as soon as I opened the door a tear fell, I managed to control myself before sobbing. it didn't help when my cousin was beside me walking to the stop. I felt trapped even though I was outside. The ride to college was quiet buy I could feel tears in my eyes they didn't fell, the music help just a little but for a moment I forget where I was going. I arrived hour and a half earlier, but I knew I would skip if I waited in my house. I didn't bring my supplies, art supplies, they help me with the anxiety. I found a chair to wait, I'm counting the minutes I want to leave with my while beinh , is not quiet where I am, people keeps coming and going and laughing and talking and here I'm with my head down "123, 124,125..." I'm trembling, the skin around my nails is disgusting, covered in spit and blood, I want to cry. is too much. Just one hour now.

I'm running every possible scenario in my head, what my classmates are going ask probably a "hi" or a "hello" "hey" is also an option. are we going to talk about Thursdays test, or about the Lab, or other topics. I already have my answers for the first two. The other one scares me what would they ask, there are infinite possibilities, what if they make fun of me. That is one, and the one I'm most scare of.

Just thinking about it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I feel uncomfortable, my skin itches so I'm scratching every place trying to not get attention of the others around me.

40min, I should probably review today's practice but I can't concentrate, but I know a bad grade will disappoint my family and I can't tolerate that I'll probably died of shame. Not a fan of that.

Eating would probably help, you know HALT, but I'm not hungry, and eating doesn't sounds good now. I just want my bed and comfortable clothes, some anime or movie and being safe.

I don't want to be here, every person that passes looks at me as if I am a monster and outsider as if I am disgusting I can feel them laughing at me, I turn up the volume on my headphones.

A girl approaches me, a classmate, we take the lab together, my reaction was run or run and never come back, I just said Hi.

We went to the third floor to wait for the time. we found other classmate. I was thinking on jumping from the third floor. We talked about tests, lucky for me. and then the other topics, I was quiet most of the time just my fake smile in my face, and laughing politely of thinks I didn't consider funny. that's what I heard once, always smile when you feel uncertain, I'm a master of faking happiness its been five years since I started feeling like this, no one has noticed my fake smile. Or they notice and don't give a fuck. I'm trying to be positive and think I'm good for something.

They keep talking, and now there's a guy mixing some music 3 feet from me. He is kind of good. I ate my food, the feeling in my stomach never disappeared. I started studying better do something instead of crying.

Studying didn't help much,I was still scared and then my classmates started talking again, a topic I avoid as much as I can, high school. it just brings bad memories and that just made feel worse.

Its just 10 min now, feeling like this almost all the time I'm in the lab makes me think if I did the right choice with my career, I know is wrong deep inside me. I wonder if I would feel like these while learning how to cut meat, or seasoning vegetables. Probably no. But there's nothing I can do to change it. Is too expensive and well I can barely can afford biology.

unfortunately here I can predict what will happen, and that's what scares me the most. is full of people here now and is overwhelming.

Studying now won't help my head is not there now, I'll probably fail. is time now the instructor is here, and I feel like I don't belong, also I feel if I touch anything it will break and I'll have to pay for it. We started with a little quiz, I just got one question right. Probably if I didn't feel like dying it would have been different. The practice ended an hour earlier, though my group stayed a little later to help clean all the lab materials, I felt like it was my fault for that.

I finally was going to leave and get home to my safe place, well if the stop wasn't full of people, half an hour, I stayed there 30min, just waiting, I m tired of waiting. It was really hot, I was sweating and so was the other 29 people in line. For my luck I ended up in a taxi full of men, they made me nervous though I knew they wouldn't do anything I was scared and about to cry. This day was in all honestly horrible.

15min later I arrived to my place, I ate a proper meal too, it didn't help the feeling in my stomach.

My safe place, my room, it was really hot but I wanted it, I laid in my bed and closed my eyes, and I was finally safe at peace nothing could happen here, no one can hurt me, nothing can scare me, I can be myself, my tears fell free, I sobbed all I wanted, I dreamed my perfect life.

And just for a moment everything was fine.

Tomorrow though, I'm afraid it will be almost the same.