#just a few more weeks and then I'll have more time 😪

[the-words-we-sung]

Simon and Wilhelm 🤎🧡💛

[gguk-n]

Chapter 5- The Finish Line

Arranged For Love (Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader)

Series Masterlist

Summary- And they lived Happily Ever After

No face claim. All the pictures are from Pinterest

Warning- Mention of death

Carlos and his family flew in for the funeral. He saw his wife, a shell of a person she was. She couldn't stop crying and barely ate anything. "Y/N, you have to eat. Grandma wouldn't be happy if you do this" Carlos reasoned. "If she's that unhappy, tell her to come and feed me herself" Y/N stated. Carlos hugged her, rubbing her back. "Everything will be okay. She's in a better place" Carlos whispered. "I just wish that better place was still with us" Y/N cried. The families stayed for a couple days, wishing their final good byes to Anika.

Once the burial was done and everyone had settled back home, "You should move in with me" Carlos said as he was getting ready to leave. "A change of scenery would do you well." Carlos explained. "I'll probably be going back to college. The restrictions are easing up and classes for the next semester will be on campus" Y/N said. "Until then you can come to the races with me" Carlos smiled. Y/N nodded. "I'll see you at your home race then" she said.

2021

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 268 others

y/n.y/l/n Home Race!!!🍾🎉

carlossainz55 you should come to all the races now❤️ landonorris it was so nice meeting the woman he wouldn't stop talking about🤔 charles_leclerc landonorris I agree🤌 avathetraveller the date vibes are emmaculate👌�� user3 who is this and why is she posting Carlos?🙄🙄

2022

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 1,890 others

y/n.y/l/n Finally done with college until I decide to get another degree😏

carlossainz55 so proud of you, hermosa😘😘 landonorris congratulations❤️ scuderiaferrari we might have an opening if you're looking for a job🫣 y/n.y/l/n scuderiaferrari yes please🥹 charles_leclerc congratulations❤️ user4 the last picture...I have many questions😅😅

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, 6,347 others

y/n.y/l/n Life for the past few months🤭🤭

carlossainz55 best birthday yet❤️😏 Liked by Author maxverstappen1 you're worse than I am at golf and that's saying something🫣 y/n.y/l/n maxverstappen1 Shut up! I will not take this slander. I started like a few weeks ago, unlike somebody😤😤 user5 I think she's dating Carlos, what a life?!🥺🥺 user6 I wish I was her, dating Carlos and travelling the world���😭 user7 Carlos cooking will be the death of me🤤🤤

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 10,378 others

y/n.y/l/n From only being able to FaceTime you to being able to kiss you whenever I want, we've come a long way😭😭

carlossainz55 yes we have. Also the last picture is a lie, I'll have everyone know😤 y/n.y/l/n carlossainz55 please, you parents follow me😭 carlossainz55 to my parents, you might be grandparents soon😏 y/n.y/l/n carlossainz55 OMG!! I hate you😣😣 carlossainz55 y/n.y/l/n no you don't😉😏 user8 OK, TMI GUYS TMI🙄🙄 user9 we might have Carlos jr jr, IDK how I feel about that🫣🫣 user10 she's so cute, kinda hard to hate on her😤😪 user11 LDR to moving in, I'm so happy for them😭 user12 Carlos is a menace😂😂

2023

After moving in together, the two of them were enjoying spending more time together. They were cuddling in bed when Carlos realised that he really loved her and he couldn't imagine his life without her. He did like her when they got married but he felt like she deserved everything since she made him so happy and content.

That's when Carlos put his plan into action. He never got the chance to propose to her so he decided to plan a trip and flew them out to the French country side. He had everything planned. They drove up to the location which he had disappeared off to decorate a few hours back. Y/N had no clue that Carlos was planning something like this. Her jaw was on the floor when she saw the set up; she had tears in her eyes. "For me?" she asked. "Only for you" Carlos said. As the two sat together watching the beautiful scenery, "Y/N, I've known you only for a few years but you've made my life so much better. I can't imagine my life without you. Every day I thank your grandmother for bringing us together." Carlos said. "I love you Carlos, you make me so happy" Y/N smiled back, holding in tears. "I love you so much that's why, even though we are married" Carlos laughed pulling out a ring, Y/N's eyes widened, she saw Carlos get on one knee, "Will you marry me? Again" Carlos asked. "yes, yes, a thousand times yes. I'd marry you a thousand no a million times" she shouted hugging him.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by avathetraveller, carlossainz55, carlosainzoficial and 198,270 others

y/n.y/l/n He proposed🥹🥹

carlossainz55 I want to spend the rest of eternity with you❤️ carlossainzoficial the cutest couple landonorris about time😌 charles_leclerc congratulations!!🎉 scuderiaferrari we are so happy for the couple❤️ fernandoalonso congratulations you both! user13 OMG!! Carlos is engaged!!!🥲🥲 user14 The proposal is straight out of Pinterest😭😭 user15 I'm kinda excited to see their wedding pictures now😭 user16 did Carlos plan the proposal out on his own?? he's so romantic🥲

2024

Carlos and Y/N decided to renew their vows on their 4th anniversary. The other's had no clue that this was a vow renewal and thought that the pair were finally getting married after dating for 4 years.

Ava planned a crazy bachelorette for Y/N with all their friends from school and university.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by avathetraveller, carlossainz55 and 345,287 others

y/n.y/l/n I think I drank my weight in alcohol last night👌👌

avatraveller best bachelorette ever🤤🤤 jessiejames Can't believe you're getting married🤧🤧 alexandrasaintmleux prettiest bride to be ever!!🥵🥵 user17 I'm laughing🤣🤣🤣 user18 I want to be friends with her, they look like a lot of fun🥹🥹 user19 the theme of the party is killing me😂😂 user20 she has the best friends🥹🥹

Everyone had gathered for the wedding. All the drivers, both their families and friends were invited. Everyone who wasn't at their first wedding didn't know that this was a second one. Y/N still wore the necklace her grandmother gave her on her wedding day.

As Carlos waited for Y/N to walk down the aisle with her dad, Ivan had tears in his eyes as he walked his daughter down the aisle for the second time but this time without his mother. Y/N reassured her dad. He placed Y/N's hand in Carlos's.

The pair faced each other and the officiant began. It was Carlos's turn to say his vows; "I've known you for 4 years. I'm the luckiest man alive to have met someone who understands me so well and supports me. I'm so happy that your grandma played cupid. I promise to keep you happy forever. I knew I would be getting married but I didn't think I'd be lucky enough to marry the love of my life twice" Carlos finished. An audible gasp was heard from the crowd. "I would marry you a billion times. Carlos Sainz, you make me so happy and I'm also happy my grandma was a nosy woman. Being with you makes even the gloomy days sunny. You are the only man I want to spend the rest of eternity with" Y/N said. The officiant began, "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two beautiful souls. Do you, Carlos Sainz Junior, take Y/N Y/L/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" Carlos responded, "I do." "Do you, Y/N Y/L/N , take Carlos Sainz Junior to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?" he asked Y/N. She responded, "I do." "By the power vested in me by the state and the Church, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." the officiant said. Carlos leaned in and captured Y/N's lips in a kiss.

The wedding was buzzing with the new information Carlos had just released. Everyone was busy asking them when they got married, they had power point presentation from their previous wedding playing. Everyone was very annoyed at them for hiding it. "In our defence you guys never asked" Carlos said. "What do you mean never asked? You announce stuff like this" Lando whined. "Sorry Lan, at least you got to be in this one" Y/N cooed. "I'm not a child. I hate you both" Lando groaned. "Maybe he's tired." Y/N told Carlos while looking at him. "Get some rest" Y/N told Lando, patting his back.

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 2,367,049 others

y/n.y/l/n Did we get married or renew our vows? The world will never know👀👀

landonorris still can't believe I was lied too🤧🤧 lewishamilton Congratulations!!❤️ charles_leclerc I'm still shocked😔 alexandrasaintmleux It's okay you lied, at least you're pretty🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ Liked by Author danielriccardo top 10 f1 betrayals🙃 fernandoalonso congratulations to the couple😊 user21 OMG!! WHAT??!!😳😳 user22 Carlos was always married? For how long?😮😮 user23 IDK if I should laugh or cry😧😧 user24 My whole world turned upside down🫨🫨

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55 and 567,390 others

y/n.y/l/n Happy to announce carlossainz55 put a baby in me😏👌

carlossainz55 I take full responsibility🤤😏 carlossainzoficial Congratulations!! Can't wait to be a grandpa landonorris already making a McLaren jumpsuit for the baby😌 charles_leclerc so happy the jumpsuit made it into the announcement☺️ alexandrasaintmleux the prettiest pregnant lady I know😍😍 avathetraveller I'm ugly crying!!😭😭 y/n.y/l/n avathetraveller don't. I'll cry too😭 scuderiaferrari new driver🤔 y/n.y/l/n scuderiaferrari he would be if his dad was still driving for the team🤯 user25 okay Y/N popped off on Ferrari, also boy dad Carlos🤔 maxverstappen1 redbull jumpsuit on the way y/n.y/l/n maxverstappen1 I mean 🙂‍↕️😏 fernandoalonso I feel so happy y/n.y/l/n fernandoalonso I believe you'll be on the grid by the time our child gets there☺️☺️ user26 we're getting a mini Carlos or Y/N. Can't wait!!🥹 user27 This is such a happy news after the train wreck in the past few weeks😭 user28 I'm happy Carlos has something happy to look forward too😭😭 user29 did Y/N just reveal the gender? (Its a boy, I think) Don't tell her🤫🤫

y/n.y/l/n

Liked by carlossainz55, avathetraveller and 1,268,290 others

y/n.y/l/n Stress is bad for the baby but this man made me go throw a hurricane of emotions in the last 2 weeks. Still so proud of you baby

carlossainz55 couldn't have done it without you😍❤️ y/n.y/l/n carlossainz55 you gave me the motivation and our baby❤️❤️ avathetraveller congratulations Carlos user30 he's gonna be the best dad!!😭 user31 Congratulations Carlos, only man to break RedBull's streak😭🥹 user32 If I was Y/N I would've gone mad by now🤧 user33 He looks so happy in the second picture🥹🥹

2025

carlossainz55

Liked by y/n.y/l/n, williamsracing and 1,280,290 others

carlossainz55 To the best few years of my life!! Can't wait for many more🥂

y/n.y/l/n Can't wait to have more of your babies if they look this cute😏😏 carlossainz55 y/n.y/l/n I hope you're ready😏 landonorris I was gonna say something nice but no, you guys are nasty🤢🤮 y/n.y/l/n landonorris shut up🤬 alex_albon Lily might kidnap your kid the next time he comes😔😣 y/n.y/l/n alex_albon can she kidnap me too??😖😖 carlossainz55 y/n.y/l/n what do you mean by that??😤 user34 they are so chaotic, I love it🤣🤣 user35 Congratulations dad Carlos❤️❤️ user36 Can't believe they didn't name him Carlos the third🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ user37 user36 I think I would kill my baby daddy if he did something like that🤦‍♀️😟 user38 cutest family on the grid❤️ user39 I already know the kid probably has his own kart😳 user40 a couple more years and he'll be a karting champion😭😭

Taglist- @herexpertcollector @redrevvedup @chaostudee @larastark3107 @jovialpainterunknown @vip-access @sugarvibez @champomiel @inarabee @virazeeee @seonghwaexile @champ15ns @ajthefujoshi @musicheaux @npcmia @marvel-ous-miss-maisie @mochipatch @gleeblegnarp @formula1-motogpfan @taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs @dying-inside-but-its-classy @iamfreeeeeeeeeeeesblog @boiolay @pausmoon @ts1mp0ne

Thank you to everyone who read this!!

[studentbyday]

day 23-30 // 30doi

some days i need help summoning my inner strength, and in those times, one of my favorite poets to turn to is Maya Angelou, so i made myself this wallpaper as a reminder to not give up every time i look at my phone.

this week i was supposed to do a trial run of my fresh start challenge but i'm not sure if it's the amount of life admin stuff i needed to catch up on (istg it makes me feel soooo much less like a mess and much less awful about myself now that i've dealt with those tasks), all the movement i wanted to get in this week (i just felt so physically off these past few weeks), or if i was just procrastinating more (i did watch a lot of youtube this week despite removing the app from my phone...some of it while exercising tho!) that made it a struggle to get more than 4h of studying in each day (sometimes even getting to 4h was a struggle 😪). so...idk if this whole 6h of studying / day thing will work but perhaps now that i'll be officially back to school next week, i will feel more compelled to focus on that rather than other things...(for better or for worse 😅)

🌼 study stats (50/10-15):

M: 🌼🌼🌼🌼 T: 🌼🌼🌼🌼 W: 🌼🌼🌼🌼 Th/F: did not feel like counting, but i did study

📰 media on my mind:

one in 10 premature births linked to plastic chemicals

the secret to lasting love might just be knowing how to fight

care school for men (istg THIS needs to be all over the world to equalize the gender gap in domestic work 👏🏻)

you're not a mess: how to journal to *ace* 2024 (can't wait for her video on her bujo setup if/when she makes one! i've been feeling a bit stuck with mine lately and been needing some inspo to...idk, have a system that calms rather than stresses me bc i feel like i just end up making very unrealistic plans no matter what planning method i use 😅)

diaries: schumann (tiffany poon's new album!!! 😍)

clementine - halsey (🎶 i don't need anyone, i just need everyone and then some 🎶)

[mywritingonlyfans]

can you give us a spoiler about the smut part? 😼

I didn't answer you because I felt bad for not knowing how to answer 😅 I'm not going to do that because it's not a long fic and I think it will end up losing its effect if I post it before, idk, it makes sense to me, and no I didn't finish it yet 😭but anyway, I'm posting the beginning of it, but it's before the smut, I don't think I'll cheer you up much 😔

And using you as a vent (I still don't know how people wait for teacher's pet because I'm a mess but thank you), I'm a little tired of writing the same thing for a long time and I'll probably try to write some fluff and post it in the middle of these parts of fics that I have to post... besides, I don't think I'll be able to finish this one over the weekend because I have a test on Monday 😪 (I tried to make an effort to write but it's being very difficult to keep my attention; and at the exact moment my head isn't very excited about smut itself, unfortunately it was clear at the beginning of the fic as you can read lol; but I'll try to post it over the week). I feel like I shouldn't feel sorry about this but I kind of do, it's just that life hasn't been that kind recently.

"Hey, Mr. Turner," your tongue curled at the pronunciation and a smile stretched your lips.

He shifted his focus away from the book, placing it aside, and then his gaze landed on you. The knee-high stockings perfectly intact on your legs, well above the knees, and the button-up shirt with thicker collars and edges covering your body; you were and looked beautiful, despite the tired expression.

Without insisting on taking one last drag, he promptly disposed of the cigarette, hating the idea of affecting you with it. Judging by the appearance of the lit cigarette between his fingers, he had just ignited it, yet he didn't hesitate to discard it. You didn't consider it necessary, but you couldn't deny that you found it to be a sweet gesture on his part; which you had already been used to by now.

"Tired, little one?" He said softly, in tune with the starry night on the balcony. His hand was both firm and gentle on you, his fingertips comfortable through the fabric of the socks, while your arms held him tightly against your body.

Your face was nestled in his neck, the comforting and familiar scent already so well known. You raised your head just enough for him to look into your eyes, his faint smile leaving you slightly breathless. Reluctant to untangle from his warmth, you continued, "When are you goin' to bed? I don't want to fall asleep without you. I was thinking of waiting for you." You were cautious, your inquiry devoid of any emotion except tenderness. You knew he was finishing up something important for one of his upcoming classes, but it was already very late.

"You're going to wait for me?" He raised an eyebrow, the cute wrinkle right there, studying you nestled against his chest. " 'ere?" He chuckled, the vibration that filled his body making you feel even more at home.

The fact that both of you knew he wouldn't return to that task was fun. And Alex didn't feel bad about it. He liked having you there, enjoyed the idealization that you had been tossing and turning for the past few hours, hands between your thighs, almost sewing holes into your socks, unable to sleep, until you came to him with your silly smile and timid steps. It was 3 am, he was the one who was wrong.

He held your chin firmly, his nose brushing against yours, his tousled hair grazing your forehead, and then he kissed you, in the same gentle and lingering way as the night. You moaned into his lips, slowly pulling away and realizing how breathless you were as he looked at you with his eyes full of sleep and his face all red, you wanted to bite him all over. As if he could read your mind, he nibbled on your cheekbone, laughing lightly at your reaction until he went to your neck and rubbed his growing beard there. Your mind, which didn't have many thoughts due to tiredness, emptied as the tip of his nose dipped into you in a silent sigh as he ripped the air out of your lungs in a rigorous bite.

[daisiesandgiggles]

Thank you dear lady for the comment about dreamingincrimson. Sarah and I had lost touch these last few months. My bad I guess. How can such a young woman pass so soon? A question for the ages perhaps yet, unfathomable nonetheless. She was lucky to have friends such as you. I can't dwell on the people I have lost just recently. I can only remember them for who they were. Kind and gentle souls.

This moved me to tears Shades because I too am guilty of thinking I had more time with her. I'll message her next week I told myself.... 😢Next week never came. So i feel your pain..This is my 2nd loss in 2 weeks and my 3rd loss in 2 months. I😪ts almost too much to handle but I know @dreaming-in-crimson would tell us both to remember her with smiles and love and laughter. Just remember that when we lose the ones we love, we can still be a bright light for them. Difficult as it will be we will be ok. One day....but for now it is ok to cry. I know I have cried so many tears I feel like Im drowning, but I'm going to keep smiling for her! Hang in there and please know you are not alone. My door is open.

Xoxo, 🌼💔

[aphroditelovesu]

Any idea as to when the next chapter of 'The Lost Queen' will be posted, or if any more asks/concepts related to the fic will be answered in the near future? It and everything Alexander related has low-key become my latest ADHD fuelled obsession 😫💀.

I've been all but vibrating in my seat to see more 'Lost Queen' content, but totally understand that you've been kinda preoccupied this last week (my condolences btw). I apologize if this has come off as annoying or entitled 💔. Again, I'm just really excited to see how this plays out. TYSM

I think I do, sadly I'm not sure, but I plan to post until tuesday. Unfortunately I haven't had free time, I study day and night and I even have a gym in the afternoon, so free time is hard to find, except on weekends when I'm using it more to rest. And I share the computer with my older sister, I don't like to write on my cell phone and everything I write is saved on the computer, so it's complicated.

I will answer the asks and concepts you sent me! Probably during today I'll take a few hours to answer you all later, I didn't answer due to lack of time. Hope you guys don't get upset :/

I feel you, anon... Alexander the Great is one of my oldest obsessions and it has returned really strong after the fanfic and the asks and concepts you sent me 😪

But if I don't post the chapter until tuesday, feel free to charge me! ❤️

~ Lady L

[1d1195]

AHHHHH i’m so happy you liked the ask, i loved writing it it was like a little book club moment😭💗 now i wanna do it with your other stories lol cause you just write the best little jokes, dialogue, and inner thought moments

i 100000% understand why you would favor protection more, every part of it is clearly so thought through and the characters are just🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 protection MC truly is someone to look up to she’s such a queen

wait i LOVE that you’ve been going to the same hairdresser since you were little !! that’s so cute and i’m really sorry to hear you had a tough may but hopefully the rest of the summer makes it up for you !!!

i have another wedding in a little over a week😭 and i’ve got a school orientation sometime next month. summer is kicking my ass i have absolutely NO schedule, i’m pretty much up all night and sleep till noon so i NEED to work on that😪 but i’m enjoying it while i can lmao

since you’re a teacher what do your summers usually look like ? i hope you have an amazingggg week LOVE YOUUU🫶

~🎶

Omg you're the sweetest! I love a book club moment!

That's right, I remember you saying you had another wedding! What are you going to wear? You're excited about this wedding, right? Sometimes I dread going to weddings just because I'm not super close with the couple or I just want to not go because I'm lazy. I went to like 10 in the span of a year and a half so I was DONE by the end.

That is quite the sleep schedule, but that's what summers are for. You're young, you deserve time to be nocturnal and have fun however you see fit!

I will be doing summer school but it's short and easy in comparison to the school year. I'm kind of looking forward to it. I've taught the last few summers and it's shorter this year than it has been in years past. It's only Mon-Thurs until noon. The whole month of August off--instead of only two weeks of August off. The last two weeks of June off too. So it's good. I get anxious and antsy if I have too much time to think so it's good for me to keep busy 😅 My fam lives in a beach town so I'll visit frequently and try to get more inspo for Sun-Kissed extras 😉

Will you work at all over the summer? What are you thinking of studying? So exciting! Big changes!

xoxo

[msookyspooky]

I hadnt sent this before because GIRL THAT CHAPTER HAD ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK

honestlyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I AM SOOOOOBFHRWFEHSU HAPPY (also kinda sad bc of dewey, randy, karla and the kids) but jjfdjujdsjufdsjiuuof billy FINALLY realised!!!!!!!!!!

the SCENE WHERE HE WAS HELPING YN DRESS HER WOUNDS LIKE HAHHAHADJAIUHFUDSUUFSAI im kinda sad with stu but at the same time i get that thats the way he shows he cares, the way the killing would go shows he cares

anyWAYYYYSSS im soooo exiteddd hehehehe esp to see yn and gale or dewey meeting again maybe, like THE DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just wanted you to know that i fucking love your fic and i swear i check AT LEASTTT once a week if you have posted a new chapter or even just a little wip or something because girlllllll it has me on a choke hold for a LONG TIME i think im reading it since 2022 LMAOOOO I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH I LOVE LOVE LOVE UUUUU

OMG HI!!! Hi, hi hi, sorry this is late my weekend and the last day or two is ugh hectic 🥲😤

BUT FR!? I'm so flattered you've been here since 2022 my God I feel bad procrastinating writing this last year I'm so sorry! 😭 I APRECIATE THE LOVE AND SUPPORT SM AND ILY FOR THIS ASK 💘🥺

I'm TRYING to get back to at least every two weeks instead of once a month every other month bs (Sadly idk if I mentally can do weekly updates bc back then they were like 2k-5k words in 2021-22. Now, I aim more for 7k to 10k with these newer chapter being more climactic and other writing projects as well.)

There's going to be a decade time skip from 2011(Fours a Franchise) to 2021 (5 whatever I'll call it lol) so there actually might be a lot of one shots! Because that's a big chuck of time!!! I mean, a decade ago I was barely in HighSchool and it's like wow that much time went by!? so that's a lot of time to go by between YN and these two assholes no matter how it may turn out 😪🤔

AND NO I FEEL YOU!! Ik I probably shocked and irked a few folks but there is no way YN x Billy and Stu could EVER happen with Randy and Dewey in the mix. It's almost impossible because I cannot see either one being okay with us not killing them or at least sending them to prison (Especially Dewey which understandable) and YN was half ass living a lie with them anyways. The poor woman is under sm depression and stress that Randy's death and Dewey's rejection who else does she have but these two. And Randy was always meant to die the second I spared him in 2 I knew 3 or 4 he had to go and get this!

BEFORE 5 EVEN CAME OUT I MADE HIM HAVE TWINS WITH A WOMAN!! So I was clutching my face elated and eager to use Mindy and Chad as his kids instead of neice and nephew bc why not? It was perfect! And Randy's death is very important to YN's story so even if I adored writing him my mans had to go 🥲😞

NGL the best ending for our girl would've been Mark living, getting the boys arrested, YN lives how Sid did in these future Scream installments the end. But we're just unlucky af like that

And tbf Billy x YN x Stu is such a toxic love polycule like they hate but love they are almost codependent on each other because of circumstances yet resent each other. It's gonna be REALLY interested to write all this out (And hard to make believable 😭)

Anyways thank you and ily and i love reviews like this I'm so so glad you sent this to me I really do need and adore this to keep my motivation up!!! 💘💘💘

[albertasunrise]

The Unexpected Gift - Part 8

Masterlist

Summary: When a baby girl is dropped on Javier Peña's doorstep with a note claiming she's his, he's suddenly thrust into fatherhood. With no clue what to do, he will need all the help he can get if he's not to stumble at the first hurdle.

Relationships: Javier Peña x Reader, Steve Murphy x Connie Murphy

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to list any warnings. This will be 18+ If you are triggered by anything to do with babies then read at your own risk... (Once again, sorry this took so long. Life’s just so busy rn. This has taken me like a week to finish 😪 hope it was worth the wait!)

Series Masterlist- Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7

Jason was out by the following evening. All traces of him living there were erased from the apartment and finally, you felt like you were free. The more you pondered your relationship with him, the more you started to see his true colours.

How he'd talked you down. Knowing that you'd believe him and chose him over what you truly wanted.

Who you truly wanted.

Things with Javier were so much different. He never stopped telling you how perfect you were or how he loved you. Vowing to spend as long as you would give him, proving to you how he adored you.

His father had welcomed you to the family with open arms and María had also shown her own acceptance of you in her sweet little way. One week on, things were pure bliss. Javier had behaved himself and rested his leg as he was instructed. Loving having you around to help him with things and soon Chucho felt like he was of no use anymore. So the two of you decided to have a large dinner to say goodbye to the older Peńa, inviting the Murhpy who had grown close to the older man.

"Something smells delicious." Javier complimented as he limped over to you, appreciating the stick that Steve had bought him as a joke.

"You father keyed me into a few of your favourites that he made for you back in Texas… Tonight, slow-cooked chicken with brown rice and avocados."

"Mmmm… You're too good to me Hermosa." He purred against the shell of your ear and you shivered.

"You should be sitting Agent Peña." You warned and he chuckled.

"I've got my stick." He argued and you snorted at his reply.

"Okay old man." You teased, elbowing him affectionately as you gave him a wink.

"Oh… you wound me." He said as he threw his hand over his heart and plastered on his best hurt expression.

"You know I'm teasing." You said as you stuck your tongue out at him playfully "You're definitely not old where it counts."

"You have no idea." He growled before burying his head in the juncture of your neck and biting you just where you liked it.

"You do that and dinner won't get finished." You warned and he chuckled.

"I just wish I could take you how I want." He groaned as you turned to face him and kissed him deeply.

"All in good time, mi amor." You replied, pecking his lips before you smiled at him sweetly "You need to heal."

"Sick of needing to heal." He grumbled and you smirked at his childlike response.

"I know, baby, but you were shot! It's not something you can just walk off." You said softly "Excuse the pun." You chuckled "You're doing so much better. Just keep resting it up and you'll be bending me over the counter in no time." You finished with a wink and Javier groaned.

"You can't say things like that to me Hermosa." He growled as his eyes went black "I'll take you here and now, leg be damned."

"Nuh-uh." You said, waving your finger at him "Now go sit down." You finished as you pointed at the couch.

The agent did as you were asked and you resumed what you were doing, humming a happy tune as you started the rice and checked on the chicken. Chucho emerged with María a short while later and she screeched in excitement as Javier held his arms out to receive her.

"Ahhhh… Someone's perky after their nap." He gushed as his father placed her on his lap and she grinned at him before grabbing his cheeks so she could place a sloppy kiss on his lips "Why thank you Mija."

"She's a good girl Mijo." Chucho gushed as he gave his son a kind smile "You're a good father… Always knew you would be."

"He's a natural." You gushed from the stove, smiling over your shoulder at the two Peña men.

"I would have been lost without you Hermosa." Javier stated and you waved him off.

"I helped a little." You replied, returning your attention to the food and Javier scoffed.

"You did more than a little, baby." You argued "When María was sick… I… Well, I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there to keep me straight."

"Connie was there sweetheart."

"Will you quit arguing with me?" Javier grumbled and you chuckled.

"Okay."

A short while later the Murhpy's had arrived and Connie was helping you dish up the food whilst Steve and Chucho laid the table. Olivia and María giggled away in the playpen in Peña's lounge whilst all of you ate. Conversation flowed freely as you all enjoyed the food you had cooked before Connie dished up the desert she had made.

"This is possibly the best cheesecake I've ever eaten." You moaned as your eyes rolled back into your skull.

"Seconded." Javier piped up and Connie chuckled at the reactions her pudding elicited from everyone.

"I'll confess… it is my speciality." She conceded.

"Steve's a lucky man." Javier groaned and Steve gave him a nudge and a wink.

"Damn right."

"So, do you think you'll be back Chucho?" Asked Connie as she took a sip of her beer.

"Well, only if Javi will let me." He chuckled and the younger Peña rolled his eyes at his father's reply.

"It's not that I didn't want you to visit Pops… I just didn't want you to put yourself in unnecessary danger."

"I can take care of myself Mijo." Chucho replied and Javier nodded.

"I know Pops."

"I hope I'll come out again soon." The older man continued "But the help I've got on the ranch is only temporary… Hopefully, you'll catch that bastard soon and you can come home Mijo."

"Hopefully," Javier replied, his tone not matching his reply.

"And I hope you'll be with him." Chucho continued and you smiled sweetly at the man.

"I'll follow Javier where ever he decides to go." You replied, pulling Javi's attention away from the glass in his hands and to you.

You knew then at that moment that it wasn't his father's suggestion that he return to texas that has brought on his sudden change in mood. It was the fact that once they caught Escobar… he'd be leaving Colombia and potentially, you.

"Papi." Came a small voice and everyone froze, Javier's eyes widening as he looked over at María who was standing in the pen looking over at him "PAP…EEEEEE." She squealed and Javier thought he would die at that very moment.

"Did she?…" You trailed off as Javi's eyes locked with yours "Did she just…"

"I think she did." The younger Peña choked and you sobbed.

"Well done María." You gushed as you stood from your seat and made your way over to her, lifting her into your arms so you could take her to her daddy.

"Pap-ppp… Pap…" She struggled as you placed her on Javier's lap, smiling at the tears that pooled in his eyes.

"That's it." He cooed "Say it again Mija… Papi."

"Paaaaapeeeeee." She screeched and he choked on a sob.

"That's right my beautiful girl… I'm your Papi."

"Well shit." Steve piped up "If that ain't the cutest shit I ever heard."

"What about when Olivia said Flutterby instead of butterfly?" Connie argued and you all chuckled.

"Okay yeah, that was pretty damn cute too." Steve agreed as glanced over at his daughter.

"BEEEEE." Olivia squealed as she lifted María's stuffed bumble been toy above her head and Steve thought groaned.

"That's right, baby." He said proudly as he leapt to his feet and lifted his daughter up above his head "That's a bee."

"Such a clever girl." You gushed as the blonde agent brought the toddler over to the table "Well done, Livie."

The evening came to an end and after the Murphy's helped you clear up, despite your protesting, you put María down and climbed into bed beside Javier. He hummed in approval as you curled into his side and kissed his peck which made you grin against his skin.

“I can’t believe María said her first work today.” He said softly and you could hear the pure emotion in his voice.

“Was so cute.” You gushed and he chuckled, the sound rippling from deep within.

“Really was, wasn't it?”

You hummed your agreement before stretching up to place a soft kiss on his lips. He deepened it almost immediately and you felt a heat start to pool between your thighs. When his hands grabbed greedily at you, you placed your hand on his chest and pushed him back, chucking at his eagerness.

“Now now… You forget our earlier conversation?”

Javier groaned audibly before rolling onto his back and scraping a hand over his face.

“I have this.”

“I know baby.” You said softly, pecking the corner of his lips “But it’ll be worth the wait when you’re healed.”

“I’m sure you’re right.” He replied with a smile “I’ve just never been a particularly patient man.” He finished with a wink and you grinned at him before settling into his side again.

A relaxed silence settled over you both then and you basked in the perfection of it. How right it felt being by Javier’s side before a pang of guilt struck you and your body tensed. Grabbing Peña's attention.

“You okay?” He asked and you nodded before sighing and shaking your head “What is it?”

“Am I a terrible person for having moved on so quickly?” You asked and Javier’s head shot back.

“What, over Jason?” He questioned and you shook your head.

“No, not Jason.” You said, trying to swallow past the lump in your throat “Philip.”

Javier’s eyes softened at that and his expression changed.

“He died not 2 years ago and now I’m with you and María.” You started, your tears falling freely then “I sometimes feel like I’ve replaced them.”

“You could never replace either of them.” He assured you as he cupped your cheer and stroked its apple with his thumb “You’re not a bad person for having found love again.” He continued and you nodded numbly “I never knew Philip but Steve told me he was a good man… And I think he’d want you to be happy.”

“He would.” You agreed, looking up at Javi who was smiling down at you.

“Then there you have it.” He stated, “Definitely not a bad person.”

You sniggered at his statement before smiling into the kiss he placed on your lips. You still felt guilty but less so after that. You’d always love Philip and Masie… But now you had a new chance at happiness and you’d be a fool to let it slip away.

“Do you want a family again one day?” Javier asked, pulling you from your thoughts.

“I have a family.” You chuckled as you nuzzled his face and he grinned at you.

“Okay…" Javier said, pausing a moment as he thought about how he wanted to work what he was about to say "I suppose what I mean to say is, do you want to have another baby one day?"

Your body went rigid at his question and your eyes grew to the size of saucers. You'd be lying if you said you had thought about it. Truth be told you weren't sure you'd ever find someone again that wanted to take that step with you but now, as you lay there in your lover's arms. You realised that you did.

"Yes." You replied simply, nodding your head as you looked at him again "Yes I think one day, I would like to have another baby." You confessed, "Although not sure how much longer I have left."

"What do you mean?" Javier asked, his brows furrowing at your statement.

"Well the older a woman gets… the harder it gets to conceive. I'm already looking down the barrel of 34… 35 is when you're considered a geriatric mother although I think that a little ridiculous." You chuckled to yourself "What about you?"

Your question took Javier by surprise and his brows shot up a moment before his expression softened.

"I'll confess, until María, kids had never been part of my plan." He started with a sigh "I proposed to Lorraine because she'd told me she was pregnant. Felt like it was the right thing to do but at the time I didn't want it… As terrible as that is."

"Told you?" You pushed and he sighed again.

"She faked the pregnancy to trap me into marrying her." He said and your shock was plain to see "She'd told me the night before. Slipped out during a row but at that point, it was too late to cancel the wedding." He paused a moment, his countenance changing as he remembered the terrible choice he'd made that day "I ducked out at the last minute. Jumped in my truck and just drove."

"Shit." You breathed and he chucked.

"I'm not proud of how I dealt with it but I just… I couldn't marry someone who'd lied to me about something so huge as having a kid." He finished as he scraped a hand over his face.

"Understandable." You replied and he couldn't hide his surprise at your response "If I'd done something like that and confessed. I'd be expecting to be left at the alter… Lying about being pregnant well… that's unforgivable."

Javier nodded as he gazed lovingly at you for a short while. No one had ever seemed to understand his decision to leave before now. He'd always been told 'Yeah she fucked up but you went bigger'… No one had ever told him 'she deserved it.' before tonight.

"But what about now?" You asked, eyes hopeful and he melted in your gaze as he nodded.

"Yeah… I'd like to have more kids." He replied and you smiled sweetly at him.

You were secretly glad you'd had this talk. You were aware of your age and how, despite people telling you you had time, that wasn't necessarily true. You didn't want to get too deep, only to learn that the two of you wanted completely different things out of life.

It seemed you were on the same page.

You drifted off easily after that. Dreams of the future the three of you might share filling you with a warmth and happiness that you'd not felt in a long time. For the first time in what felt like forever… you were looking forward to the future.

As the weeks went on, you settled into a sort of domesticity that you and Javier loved. You worked well together and as time continued to roll on and Javier healed, you started to feel more like a real family. Talking María out for walks and to the park so that the agent could build up his strength again and the day he was able to toss that stick that Steve had gotten him was one that would stick with you forever.

The walk you'd taken had been the happiest so far. Javier was practically skipping along with María's pram as the three of you walked to the park and when you'd made it home, he danced with you and his daughter till he could dance no more and your heart sored for him.

He'd been back at work a little while but had been stuck on desk duty since his return and although that had brought you some relief, he'd been miserable.

"So my assessment's on Monday." He started as he finished up changing María, ready for bed "Hopefully I'll be cleared to return to the field."

"Hopefully." You replied, trying to sound as convincing as you could.

"You don't have to worry about me Hermosa." He promised and you rolled your eyes at him "I will be extra careful."

"Best be." You warned as you finished drying the last dish and placed it in the cupboard.

You were sipping at your wine when he returned from putting her down. Your back facing away from him as he snuck up behind you and painted your neck with kisses and nibbles that soon had you mewling.

"Baby down?" You breathed, struggling to form a coherent thought as one of his hands travelled down your stomach before cupping your sex and making you gasp.

"Mhmm." Was his reply as he palmed at your core and it didn't take you long before you were aching for him.

Till now, your relations had been little more than kissing and the occasion lazy handjob… Not for lack of trying on Javier's part. You'd told yourself that it had been because he needed to heal but as he got stronger and the pain started to fade, you knew it was more than that.

You were terrified.

With Jason, sex had been easy.

He was your league, your level but Javier Peña was so out of it that you honestly pinched yourself daily as you wondered when you were going to wake up from what was so obviously a dream.

"So now, as you stood there and the nerves started to kick in again, you went into fight or flight mode. His hand slipping past the waistband of your leggings was the clincher and you jumped away, panting as he gave you a bemused look.

"What's the matter?" He asked and you struggled for an answer. Laughing nervously as you attempted to busy yourself.

"Nothing it's just… Well, I haven't tidied up down there is all."

That elicited a snort from the agent.

"I don't care about that baby." He cooed "I just want to make you feel good." He continued "I've waited weeks to show you how much I want you." He finished as he attempted to push his hand past that barrier but you were quick to push him away.

"Javier please." You pleaded "Just… I feel comfortable with-"

"What's this really about?" He interrupted and you stopped dead in your tracks.

"What do you mean?" You squeaked and he scoffed.

"You never let me touch you." He stated, "You've let me once and since then you've closed yourself off to me." His eyes grew sad as he sat himself down but his eyes never left you.

"Do you not want me?" He asked, "Are you not attracted to me anymore?"

His broken appearance made you realise what your actions had been doing to this man. You'd been pushing your insecurities onto him without even realising it and your guilt hit you full force.

"God… no Javi… That's not it at all it's just…" You trailed off, trying to find the words to convey what it was you were feeling.

"It's what?"

"It's just you and me… Well, let's be honest. It's a bit of a beauty and the beast situation here isn't it." You chuckled "You being the beauty of course."

"What?" You snapped and you suddenly felt very worried about how this conversation was going to go.

"I mean look at me Javi." You groaned "And look at you." You said as you motioned at him "We are two completely different leagues… You could have the pick of the crop but you chose me and I… Well, I just find it hard to believe that you won't grow bored of me one day."

"Thanks." He scoffed, turning around and making his way to the bar in his lounge and you groaned in frustration.

"Javier please I-"

"The truth of the matter is that you don't trust me." He growled, "You clearly have a piss poor opinion of me."

"No." You protested but he held his hand up to stop you.

"You do because if you did… you'd realise that I love you. I love you." He stated "I can tell you now that, how I feel for you… I have never felt for anyone else ever." He continued "I told you the other night that I want to have more kids and when I say that, I mean with you."

"What?…" You trailed off, a little shocked.

"María has done more than bring joy into my life." He started as his eyes drifted to the framed photo Steve had taken of her that was hung on his wall "She made me realise that there was more to life than sex and whiskey. That there's love and family and stability. Then you came along and I realised that I wanted to have all of that with you. A home, garden, dog… More babies. All of it."

"I want that too." You choked and he nodded.

"But it's never going to happen if you can't trust me." He stated and you sobbed "Perhaps you should stay at yours tonight."

"Javi." You cried but he was unfazed.

"You clearly need to think about how serious you are about us." He stated as he leaned against the bar with his whiskey in hand "I can't let my daughter get attached to you… Only for you to leave at the first sign of trouble."

"Please."

"Come and find me when you've decided."

Next

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[diapered-fox]

Diaper training UPDATE!! June 2022

First off, happy PRIDE month!

General:

So it was a odd month. I was really surprised how far backwards I had gone. Since I took a little over a month off. I feel like it took a couple weeks to get back into my routine. But, I feel like I'm back to where I was. I feel like the cage catheter really helped. I longest I kept it in was 4 days straight. Its not something you can really do physical stuff with. But this last holiday weekend was nice! 😏 It was really weird, I was sitting there and all the sudden I felt something tickle my butt, so I jumped up and realized I was just peeing 😅. It really just made me feel numb to what was happening. The first few times I put it on I could tell everytime I peed. But I ended up using a 8 1/2" long tube. No real pain just sore when id do anything similar to a sit up. (Like bending down to tie my shoe.) So it does limit you in some ways. Other than that I'm really happy with it. I will definitely use it off and on.

Bed-wetting:

I really haven't been keeping track like I was and that something I regret for this month 😪 but! I feel like I'm right back on track. This morning I woked up wet! Without the C.C. (cage catheter) I do remember waking up but I can't remember peeing. Wearing the C.C. to bed was fun cause I would always was up wet. Like a good boy! 😇 But other than last night I was waking and wetting at night or not wetting until I woked up.

Social:

I think I've hit a point where diapers have become normal to me. Like I do everything in them. At this point eff it. If anyone asks ill tell them to keep there mouth zipped but yeah im wearing a diaper. I'm going though some stuff right now and I have to wear them. Lol 😆 I'm acting super tough rn. I said that to one friend. And it went alright, they tried to pry more out of me, but I just told them its embarrassing, I'm not going to die and I didn't want to talk about it. So after awhile it should just become understood that I wear them. Right?🤔 I'll eventually have to say something but that will be alot easier down the road especially if he knows I've been wearing for awhile.

As always, thanks for the ❤, and advice 😉, 😊 🙏 hugs 🤗 & kisses 😘

[yostresswritinggirl]

so idk if u write for scara but i just desperately need to get this out to smn its been stewing in my brain everynight for the past week

u can take this as a req or as js a little discussion abt scara ig? up to u

so what if reader was made to be a doll but when raiden created scara, some of that divine power leaked out by accident and brought reader to life?

readers creator, lets call them r/c, is a dollmaker, who makes different sized dolls for a living, and he makes life sized dolls sometimes

so reader was made by r/c, and when r/c went to bed after completing reader's main body and features, ei's divine power somehow leaked out? and brought reader to life.

idk how r/c would react but i have 2 ideas

no 1: r/c cant support another living bring bc hes barely coping with his meager income, so he lets reader free to fend for themselves

no 2: r/c figures he could get reader to be his maid/servant and mistreats them; doesnt feed them well, no proper living conditions bc hes broke

and the night reader tries to escape, r/c almost catches them, but a gust of wind blew past reader, allowing them to run faster and escape, essentially having freedom. basically, venti gave them an anemo vision, bc reader fought for their freedom kinda?

this is their first betrayal, with their creator abandoning/mistreating them, similar to scara

nect ,reader finds a village and makes a friend, ill call them f/n. so f/n and reader become closer, and reader finds out f/n steals things for the thrill of it. one day, f/n drags reader along on one of their theiving trips, and gets discovered. f/n disregars reader, and escapes without sparing a glance for reader. reader gets caught and takes the blame for the theft. this is the 2nd betrayal, where a friend turns on them

after escaping? finishing the punishment that was met out to them, reader finds a cat maybe? idk abt this one

but they become inseparable. think of tomo and his cat maybe? reader and the cat would chill tgt and cat would sit on readers head or shoulders and nuzzle into their hair or cheek. but one day the cat gets sick and reader goes out to find some medicine/herbs to help

but by the time reader gets back, the cat succumed to its illness and passed

ik these are all pretty similar to scaras backstory but im not creative ok 😪

all i started out with was reader being a doll lol and i came up with these from the timespan of 11pm to 2am

as im writing this its 12.40am lol

reader and scara meet, and scara realises theyre just like him

one is a puppet, the other a doll, and both went through similar experiences

scara and reader open up to each other eventually and fnd company in each other ig idk

another one could be r/c treated reader like his own child, but died of age eventually, and reader is alone, then meets scara after hes gone through his 3 betrayals

scara trusts them bc theyre a doll, similar to him being a puppet. but bc reader was brought up with love, they are a lot more caring and kind, and they cause scara to develop a soft spot idk

this was just rotting in my brain for the past few nights so yea 🧍

love ur work btw 😍

they always make me go awooga in excitement whrn u have a new post

*shakes head* I do write for Scaramouche but I don't have my requests open so please keep that in mind

I'll try to make sense of this with my sleepy mind hhh *cleaning glasses* I don't really have much to say for fear that it might spill over to my puppet fic already and you pretty much got the details down, but a replica of his story with so many side characters doesn't sit right with me

I do very much lean on the creator tending to them - actually the set up is quite complicated and uhhh I honestly thought they'd be a doll made for Kuni or a doll commissioned by Raiden haha. We can say that the thing that made them come to life is archon residue and that the dollmaker either slowly became corrupted while in the presence of the doll or like Teppei and met an early death

From then on it could be that the people they want to get close to or even those that have bad intentions always die in their presence and so they became closed off, viewed as cursed, and scared to be near others. And since Scaramouche is a puppet, he doesn't have to worry about dying in their presence so he's pretty much the only one they can even be close to!

Maybe Scaramouche might go mad down the route from the exposure (angst) or upon acquiring the gnosis, the divine power cleansed the archon residue or exchanged it with the gnosis' power to make them alive (good)

Thank you very much for your support, ah I really need to work on writing, bastard sickness getting in the way

[komotionlessqueenmm]

So I wanna explain why everything has been so difficult for me lately.😐

To start I was essentially laid off at the end of March, I say essentially because their "trying" to transfer me from the old sight I used to work at.☹️

(I was/am a security officer.)👮🏻‍♀️

My last day was like March 28, and I only just learned about the transfer happening four days prior!🙄

Well the guys I worked with have all been transferred within a few days, and the general manager didn't call me for almost a week and a half.👎🏻

Instead he called my emergency contacts, my grandmother (twice), and my mother (once). My grandmother, my mother, and my old supervisor ALL made sure he had my number.🤦🏻‍♀️

YET HE STILL DIDN'T CALL ME FOR SEVERAL DAYS!🤬

I called him several times, and I only reached his voicemail. I proceeded to leave several voicemails, and I MYSELF GAVE HIM MY PHONE NUMBER!😠

The ONE time he called me, I freaking missed it because I was driving and my phone was on silent.🙁

In the voicemail he informed me that he wouldn't be in the office for the rest of the week, and two others would receive my information and they would assist me. (also letting me know that I can text him if I have any questions.)😒

Well surprise surprise they never called me...😤

So that following Monday I called him... He didn't pick up, so I texted him, asking for an update on what the hells going on.🤔

Took an entire two days for him to text back, he sent my information to another sight two county's away. (which is whatever, if the pay is good I'll deal with the drive.)😕

Well it was the wrong shift I work with, which again I can deal with that. But it was only $1 more than what I was making, which isn't the worst but kinda sucks.🙁

The deal breaker however was they don't work with a set schedule, which means one week I could work a first shift, then suddenly I need to work third, plus no set days. It's literally whenever they need you, you come in and work 10+ hours.😐

Which I was already working 12+ hour shifts, but I would literally die with the janky schedule. I've got serious insomnia, and I cannot fuck with my sleep schedule.😠

That's the FIRST issue I've been dealing with...😓

Now to add to it, a week before I got laid off, I traded in my old car for a new car. Like brand fucking new car, and so I'm paying almost $400 a month on this car. (only $100 more than what I was paying for my old car.)🙄

I was able to pay April's payment, with money I had saved from my last tax return. (never was able to properly save money in my savings account because I live paycheck to paycheck like most people.)😭

I've been applying for several jobs, because I'm done with this company I currently work for. And nothing is coming from any of them.😫

Like I've applied for jobs ranging from detailing cars at a dealership, to baking bread at a restaurant overnight, to THROWING TRASH! And nothing is working out yet!😔

Well when I declined the offer of the transfer to the sight two counties away, I text the general manager... Almost two weeks ago, and haven't received anything in response.😒

So that's been a bitch to deal with... My grandmother, and my mother have had to cover my other hefty bills, because I can't pay them myself. And I hate that so freaking much, I feel so freaking guilty for it!😥

My taxes have been completed, and I was looking forward to having that money for some of my bills, or at the very least to pay back my family.😇

But I received a letter saying a bunch of bullshit that makes no sense to me or my family, and instead of receiving a little over $1,000, I received $45...😣

During all of this I've been trying to apply for unemployment until I can get a new job, and it's been going nowhere for a little over a week. (which it takes awhile so I'm not surprised.)🙄

I actually very spontaneously took off last Thursday and drove two hours to my brother's house, because I needed to get away and try to get my growing depression and stress under control.😪

It helped a lot going to spend time with him, and my baby niece.🥰

I was there until late last night.😌

But when I got home I was reminded of everything wrong with my life right now, and sunk right back into that darkness I've been fighting against.😖

I made the post I made last night, and you've been so understanding and kind, and I love you for that!😍

But my luck just will NOT turn around for shit, as today my TV decided to completely die on me. (It was working just fine last night.)😒

I had a small breakdown while I was in the shower, as I have like $80 to my name, and soon April is gonna be over, and I'm gonna have to pay my car payment again.😰

So I've been losing my god damn mind, and as I write this I'm on the verge of crying like a broken bitch.🥺

I wanted you all to know what's been so wrong for me, and why I'm on the brink of crumbling under the weight of everything April has thrown my way.😣

Thank you guys for understanding, and being so very kind, you have no idea what it means to me right now.🤧

I love you guys seriously, you're really the only thing making me smile lately, and I need that so badly right now.🥰

Oh and I forgot to mention... Even more salt to the wound is that I've got ringworm on my tummy.😒

It's literally one thing after another, and the foundation with which I stand upon is eroding beneath my feet.😓

[lia-jones]

hello again, lia! i hope your day has been wonderful so far! i'm so sad to hear about your recent diagnosis, but i know you will get better! i'm hoping for a speedy recovery for you, and by the mean time, please remember to get as much rest as possible! 💖 now for your questions! i'll answer yours below and put my questions for you below it: 1. What's your favorite trope? Or theme, in writing? With regards to romance, probably when one of the characters (most often the main character) is at risk of losing their love interest - who is someone they had always overlooked before and never really realized their feelings for them until it was too late. In the moment, I usually hate it when this happens, but I have a sort of appreciation for authors who write difficult topics and are not afraid to put their characters in tough positions.

2. What's your love language? What do you think screams I love you like nothing else? Funny you asked, because just the other day one of my close friends posed this question to me, so I've had quite some time to think on it. I would say probably words of affirmation! While it might seem somewhat meaningless (since really anyone could tell you pretty words, but not mean it), a simple "I appreciate you" from the people close to me really means a lot.

3. What makes you lose hope in the world? And what brings you hope? The thing that most makes me lose hope in the world is probably when I see other people not treating animals with the care and love that they deserve. Unfortunately, mistreatment of animals is more common than one might think, but hopefully I can change that one day. As you might expect, the thing that restores my hope in humanity is when I see people helping out dying strays and holding their pets in high regard!

4. Tell me about the happiest day/time in your life. I don't think I have a happiest day (yet), but I have lived through some wonderful moments, despite being stuck in lockdown for the past few years. A while ago, I had visited Mexico, and it still remains one of the best experiences I have ever had. I learnt so much in the week I spent there, and I would totally recommend you travel there whenever it's possible! I just know you'll enjoy it!

5. What's the most annoying thing you can think of? This might not come as a surprise to you, but the first thing that popped up in my mind when I read this question was MC 😪 But on a more serious note, I can think of a couple of annoying things off the top of my head, including: people walking too quickly behind you and accidentally smashing the back of your shoe, saying 'excuse me' to someone when you're trying to get pass and them not hearing you, and...group projects. All these things are making me sound like a crabby old lady (lol), but I promise this isn't the case.

6. And now, sorry, I can't help myself, but related to this story: is there anything you'd like to see happen (an emotion more explored, a scenario, an event) and I haven't written yet? I'm always open to ideas. I've been thinking about this question for a while, and I'm so glad you asked! Also I saw your most recent post about your list of questions regarding your story, and I just wanted to let you know that I would 10000% be willing to answer all of it! Anyways, I'm going to go into more detail about what I would like to see down below: I. Maybe Victor's relationship with his mother? You've already touched on his relationship with his (despicable) father, but I think it would also be nice to see how his mother impacted him when she was alive. Whether it be in a flashback or not, I'll leave it up to your own genius to decide. II. Diane and Andy's friendship!!!!! It doesn't have to be anything big, but I'm a sucker for friendship, especially in stories where the romance is more heavily focused. I think this is all I can call off the top of my head! Hopefully it's nothing too obtrusive to the plot that you've already planned. If you can't find anywhere to fit it in, feel free to leave them out!

here are my questions for you now:

1. what's your love language? (i hope you don't mind if i steal one of your questions, hehe) 2. describe yourself in 5 words. 3. do you watch documentaries? and if so, what's your favorite? 4. tea or coffee? and why? 5. do you believe that everyone you meet is random? or does everyone in your life serve a particular purpose? 6. what are three things that make you happy, and why?

ok, those are all the questions i can think of right now, and i absolutely loved answering yours! once again, i really hope you get better soon, and don't push yourself too hard while you're ill! i hope to hear from you soon! 😋

- 🌸 anon

Hey, so nice to hear from you! I'm sorry for not replying earlier, but if you see my latest post you'll know why *sigh*. Hopefully things will get back on track soon!

I loved your answers and you do not sound like a grumpy lady at all, those things are super annoying and I think it would be awesome if people learned to be more civic. So I'm with you! I thought about your suggestions and you are so right! I have bits and pieces already written about the subject (not posted) and it will be fun to explore both ideas a little more, and I think I have the perfect setting actually! Hold on to your proverbial hat!

Now to your questions:

1. what's your love language? (i hope you don't mind if i steal one of your questions, hehe)

Acts of service, mostly. That's how I naturally show love and how I like to receive it. A close second would be also words of appreciation. It feels good when people notice your hard work and how far you are willing to go for them. I'm not extremely verbal myself, but I try to be, because I know how meaningful it can be.

2. describe yourself in 5 words.

Ooo. Value-oriented. Pragmatic. Bluntly honest. Demanding (with others, but especially myself). Resilient.

3. do you watch documentaries? and if so, what's your favorite?

I don't watch as much TV or Netflix as I wanted, but I do watch some documentaries. The latest I can remember is the Octopus Teacher, and it made me cry in the end. Right now I'm watching bit by bit The Principles of Pleasure, and it's about sexuality, which I still think many people don't know much of and should be properly educated.

4. tea or coffee? and why?

Oh coffee, hands down! I absolutely love coffee and in Portugal it's very common to have coffee (espresso mostly) when socializing, or after a good meal. So I associate it with the things I love in life the most: friends, good food, an outing somewhere. And I also like to have a mug of good coffee when I'm working or when I'm writing, not because I need the caffeine, but because I find it extremely comforting.

5. do you believe that everyone you meet is random? or does everyone in your life serve a particular purpose?

I'm not sure if people come in randomly, although I like to believe in fate. In my experience, everyone has served a purpose and led me to something different from what I was before. Now, if it's like that by design or it's just my wishful thinking, I have no idea. But what I know for sure is that anyone can serve a purpose and leave you richer than you were before, even a negative experience, if one is smart enough to learn. There is always a lesson to be learned, I think.

6. what are three things that make you happy, and why?

Ok, one, my family and pets, for all their cute and sometimes annoying traits.

Two has to be writing. I will always write, even if I don't post. It allows me to explore things I wouldn't in real life and it surely helps me grow emotionally and deal with some demons. And it makes happy to know someone read it and related to it. God, you have no idea how happy it makes me when people reach out. I share a huge chunk of myself when I write. Being acknowledged feels like being accepted.

Three, working. It frustrates me, it makes me anxious sometimes, but mostly, it makes me happy, because fortunately I have a job that allows me to see the finished product of my labor, and the feeling of accomplishment is great. And I'm also lucky to work in a place where "Good job!" is not treated like a swear word. Everyone is extremely encouraging towards the other, from top to bottom. Thank you so much for your questions! I enjoyed answering them so much, and it's so nice to get to know you better! Lots of love!

[sofierce-andbroken]

Hi there,

First of all let me tell me a bit about myself. I'm M. (I would like to stay anonymous for personal reasons) I'm 33 years old and I've got 3 kids 2 daughters (11 and 5 years old) and a son (4 years old). I have boyfriend for 16 years, but now we have to leave our house and have to live separately. We've had to do this before and I don't think I can handle it again. Mainly because when we first lived apart (for 3 years) within a few months he had an affair with a girl from his work, I was pregnant with our son at the time. The affair lasted even after I gave birth to my son. I was going through postpartum depression and even though he cheated before this one hurts the most. I never trusted him again and never forgave him for it either. But I wanted to try to keep my family together so I tried to live with it. And you can guess, it didn't work out. I don't want to play the victim but he is kind of a narcissistic. And after a 1,5 years of fighting and getting stomped on we fucked everything up. He lost his job, and I tried to get more money doing sexwork. I thought I could handle it until he got a job but mentally I was destroyed. Side note: I didn't get forced to do this, but it was the only way to make money quickly! We argued so much to the point that I went to the police when he tried to strangle me. My neck was full with bruises, and now I'm living in the aftermath of this shit. With 3 kids I moved to my parents house waiting until I can move into a shelter for woman and children. I can't describe how ashamed I am, and the guilt I feel towards my children. So bare with me as I take this road of healing and a new life.

So this was my day so far:

Today was a shitty day, I bought some clothing to my parents house, and packed up most of my stuff. In the attic I was busy with making a nice bedroom for my oldest daughter, all the work we put in was for nothing, and I need to disassemble everything! Tomorrow is the inspection and I'm nowhere near done. My BF says it will be alright but I'm panicking, he doesn't have to show the house but I do!

I told him 2 weeks ago that we should get started but with him it's always at the last possible moment. Yesterday he told me he would take apart the children's bedroom. But in the end I did it all. I don't mind, don't get me wrong. But it's just if you tell me you're going to do something just do it. Everyone is nagging at me and I'm trying to please everyone, but it's exhausting! I'm running between houses, school, playdates, appointments for housing and (I don't know the English term for this but it's like social services but not that bad) Social teams. Everyone thinks I'm fine but I'm stressed out.

I wish this was all over 😪..

But I have a long way to go so I'll man up and take it. Hopefully the kids and I will get some rest soon.

So let's see what tomorrow brings, goodnight for now!!

xx NonaM.