#jury duty! jury duty! jury duty! eviction notice! blackmail! chain letter! pink slip!

[gothicprep]

i wouldn't exactly call the jim carrey grinch movie good. it has its moments, but it's best described as a novelty that only really could have come out in 2000.

i won't mince words: it's an absurdly horny movie. christine baranski very blatantly wants to fuck the grinch – none of my business, i guess.

the actual point i want to make here is that it's very geared towards a certain generation of people. "90s babies" were very much the audience for this. watching it, i was reminded of how kids entertainment was in that era – nickelodeon gak and mega babies. this, the mike myers cat in the hat movie, and arguably invader zim mark the end of gross out oriented kids stuff. gross, creepy, nasty, offensive, the stuff your mom would call "potty humor" which is what makes it funny. in that point in time as kids, we liked to be disturbed, and grossed out, and scared a little bit, which is something you forget it as an adult. freaky and weird was peak comedy, because kids don't necessarily get freaked out the same way, given none of what's being depicted could realistically happen to you. it's not something you're internalizing, but it feels taboo. it's very much a product of the decade that kicked off with ren & stimpy.

the production design is also very 90s. blatantly artificial but elaborate sets. sort of like the casper movie, in how it leans into the spectacle.

it's also interesting to compare it to the 2018 grinch in terms of how tone preferences for children's entertainment have changed. carrey's grince lives in garbage and eats glass bottles, cumberbatch's grinch is... like... a guy who takes ssris and is grumpy. it's way more anodyne.

maybe shrek was the beginning of the end? by shrek 2, they weren't really doing gross-out gags anymore. there are fart jokes, but he's not making candles out of his earwax.

it's simultaneously funny and fascinating that this was made because it's alien now in many ways. or maybe the better way of phrasing this is that it's a cultural artifact.

also, an elderly lesbian couple raising a grinch baby? i'm so sick of this woke shit 🙄🙄🙄

[kipscorner]

-- Anything in parentheses (abc) feel free to delete! -- Anything in square brackets [abc] feel free to change! -- This is a long post, so please remember to tag “long post tw” or some kind of varient of the sort so you don’t clog mobile users dashes/people who don’t have “shorten posts.” turned on! :D

“Doesn't this seem like a bit much?”

“This is what Christmas is all about! Can't you feel it?”

“You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.”

“Serves them right, those Yuletide-loving sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers!”

“I really don't like them. No, I don't.”

“I've been much too tolerant of these (Whovenile) delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks.”

“So, they want to get to know me, do they?”

“I guess I could use a little social interaction.”

“Yeah, you bet. Ho, ho, ho, and stuff…”

“You see, [name]? The city is a dangerous place.”

“Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.”

“Well, it's just, I look around at you and [Mom] and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn't this seem...superfluous?”

“I think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or defacing public property, or....”

“Take a look at his mailbox, (sweetie). Not a single Christmas card, in or out… Ever!”

“And for the rest of you: Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty! Blackmail. Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice. Jury duty!”

“Well, that worked out nicely.”

“[Max], let's go. Our work here is finished.”

“Don't you know you shouldn't take things that don't belong to you? What's your problem? Are you a wild animal?”

“Saving you? Is that what you think I was doing? Wrong-o.”

“You've been practicing your Christmas wrapping! I am so proud of you.”

“My, I've never seen so many beautiful Christmas lights, [Betty Lou!]”

“It's handcrafted and almost 100 years old.”

“Come on, hurry up, Slowpoke.”

“What's that stench? It's fantastic!”

“One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri.”

“Did Christmas change or just me?"

“First floor, factory rejects.”

“But we did our worst. And that's all that matters.”

“At least I scared the bejeebles out of that little [girl] at the post office. [She]'ll be scarred for life, if we're lucky.”

“Funny she didn't rat on us, though. Must be afraid of reprisals.”

“If you utter so much as one syllable I'll hunt you down and gut you like a fish!”

“I've got all the company I need right here.”

“I'm an idiot!”

“You're an idiot!”

“Am I just eating because I'm bored?”

“In your own words, please tell me everything you know about [the Grinch.]”

“Hey, honey, our baby is here! He looks just like your boss.”

“It was Christmas Eve, and a strange wind blew that night.”

“Do you want a Christmas cookie?”

“Don't forget, tomorrow is our big Christmas gift exchange.Everyone bring a special gift for a special someone.”

“You don't have a chance with [her].”

“It was a horrible day when they were so cruel to [him]. And I could hardly bear it.”

“And that was the last time we ever saw [him]. The very last time.”

“I hate you.Hate, hate, hate. Hate, hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely!”

“Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!”

“I may do something drastic.”

“You made that up! It doesn't say that.”

“But the book does say: The cheer-meister is the one who deserves a back slap or a toast. And it goes to the soul at Christmas who needs it most."

“Blast this Christmas music. It's joyful and triumphant.”

“The impudence! The audacity! The unmitigated gall!”

“You called down the thunder now, get ready for the boom!”

“Gaze into the face of fear!”

“You see? Even now the terror is welling up inside you.”

“Run for your life before I kill again!”

“Maybe you need a time-out.”

“Kids today. So desensitized by movies and television.”

“"Holiday Whobie-what-y"?”

“I know you hate Christmas, but what if it's all just a misunderstanding?”

“I myself am having some Yuletide doubts.”

“Award? You never mentioned an award!”

“Was anyone emotionally shattered?”

“Come on, a minute ago I couldn't shut you up! Details, details!”

“I don't know if it's that adorable twinkle in your eye or that nonconformist streak that reminds me of a younger, less hairy me.”

“Who knows? This Whobilation could change my entire outlook on life!”

“You can make snow angels later.”

“The nerve of those (Whos). Inviting me down there on such short notice. Even if I wanted to go, my schedule wouldn't allow it.”

“4:00, wallow in self-pity. 4:30, stare into the abyss. 5:00, solve world hunger tell no one. 5:30, jazzercise. 6:30, dinner with me… I can't cancel that again. 7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing… I'm booked! If I bumped the loathing to 9:00, I'd have time to lay in bed stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness.”

“It's not a dress, it's a kilt! Sicko!”

“This is ridiculous. If I can't find something nice to wear, I'm not going! That's it, I'm not going.”

“Ohh, ahh, mmm… That's it, I'm not going.”

“[He] isn't here. What? [He] didn't show? Who could have predicted this?

“All right. I'll swing by for a minute, allow them to envy me grab a handful of popcorn shrimp, and blow out of there.”

“But what if it's a cruel prank? What if it's a cash bar? How dare they!”

“All right, I'll go. But I'll be fashionably late.”

“All right. I've made my decision! I'm going, and that's that!”

“Come on, while I'm young!”

“But first, a little family reunion.”

“Are you two still living?”

“Sweater? What are you talkin' about? No, I can't! I can't do that!”

“No. I can't do it, honestly. I'm not ready. It's too much, too soon!”

“I've got a lawyer. There'll be hell to pay!”

“Look at the time. I really should be getting back.”

“Bring it on! Is that all you got? Is that all you got? Come on!”

“That's what it's all about, isn't it? That's what it's always been about!”

“Look, I don't want to make waves, but this whole Christmas season is stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“There is, however one teeny-tiny Christmas tradition I find quite meaningful. Mistletoe.”

“Burn, baby! Burn!”

“Evening, folks. Mind if I ride along? You might want to scooch over.”

“You fellas all right? How about a nice hat?”

“I'm hurt, [Lou]. I'm hurt, and I don't hurt easily.”

“But you and your family.... I'm so disappointed.”

“I just wanted everybody to be together for Christmas.”

“Suffering snorkelblatz! They're relentless!”

“Oh, no. I'm speaking in rhyme!”

“I must stop this whole thing. Why for year after year I've put up with it now.”

“Are you having a holly, jolly Christmas? Wrong-o!”

“If you're not going to help me then you might as well…”

“You're as cuddly as a cactus and as charming as an eel.”

“Just face the music, you're a monster.”

“Your heart's an empty hole.”

“I asked for three-quarters, not five-eighths. Stay focused!”

“Air bag is a little slow. But that's what these tests are for!”

“Talk about a recluse. He only comes out once a year, and he never catches any flak for it!”

“Probably lives up there to avoid the taxes.”

“No, forget that part. We'll improvise.”

“Saving Christmas was a lousy ending. Way too commercial.”

“We're gonna die! We're gonna die! I'm going to throw up, and then I'm gonna die!”

“[Mommy], tell it to stop!”

“Almost lost my cool there.”

“It's Santa! Go right back to sleep.”

“[He]'s planning a double-twisting interrupted forward-flying 2-and-a-half with a combo tuck and pike. High degree of difficulty.”

“Blasted water weight! Goes right to my hips.”

“Okay, fellas. Show time.”

“[Mr. Santa], what are you doing with our tree?”

“[Santa], what's Christmas really about?”

“I know [he]'s mean and hairy and smelly. [His] hands might be cold and clammy. But I think [he]'s actually kind of sweet.”

“Nice kid. Bad judge of character.”

“Clearance sale. Everything must go.”

“That wasn't so bad, was it, [Max]?”

“What an embarrassment! I've been robbed!”

“I wonder who could have done this.”

“But did anyone listen to me? No.”

“[Cindy], I hope you're very proud of what you've done.”

“You're glad. You're glad everything is gone. You're glad that [the Grinch] virtually wrecked.... No, not wrecked, pulverized Christmas. Is that what I'm hearing?”

“You can't hurt Christmas, [Mr. Mayor], because it isn't about the gifts or the contests or the fancy lights. That's what [Cindy]'s been trying to tell everyone! And me. [She]'s been trying to tell me.”

“What's wrong with you? This is a child!”

“[She]'s my child. And she happens to be right, by the way.”

“I don't need anything more for Christmas than this right here, my family!”

“Now for the final note in my symphony of downright nasty not-niceness! The crescendo of my odious opus! The wailing and the gnashing of teeth. The bellowing of the bitterly bummed out! It'll be like music to my ears!”

“Somehow or other, it came Just the same!”

“How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

“Maybe Christmas doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

“Help me! I'm feeling!”

“What's happening to me? I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking?”

“All right, that's enough! Knock it off! beat it! Get out of here! One step at a time!

“Wait! This can't happen! It shouldn't! It couldn't! It mustn't! It wouldn't! Not now, not then, not ever again!”

“What are you doing up there!?”

“I came to see you. No one should be alone on Christmas.”

“I got you, [Cindy Lou]!”

“Are you kiddin'? The sun is bright and the powder's bitchin'!”

“Now scoot over! It's my turn to drive!”

“Now you listen to me, [young] [lady]! Even if we're horribly mangled there'll be no sad faces on Christmas.”

“By the way, these lights match your outfit perfectly.”

“This could be more difficult to negotiate.”

“Out of the way! I have no insurance!”

“Run for your lives! Watch out, I can't stop!”

“Aren't you gonna cuff me? Put me in a choke hold? Blind me with pepper spray?”

“Sorry but my heart belongs to someone else.”

“Cheer up, dude. It's Christmas.”

“There's nothin' like the holidays.”

“Too late! That'll be mine.”

[supermacaroniandsqueezeblr]

“It’ll take them years to sort this out! This is his, and now it’s yours; this is hers and now it’s his-and for the rest of you…jury duty, jury duty, jury duty, blackmail, pink slip, chain letter, eviction notice, jury duty…YEEEE!”

[merveiilles]

⋆˚  ✧. ┊┊ THE GRINCHY MEME, but I'm too lazy to go look for it. So enjoy;; arcencielreve asked: “And for the rest of you: Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty! Blackmail. Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice. Jury duty!” (Rose @ Slade) *** please do not reblog and/or turn into a thread without asking first! ***

ㅤㅤ𝓢lade was silent, watching his daughter go through the mail letters, putting what would be considered to be awful things to relieve in said mail. Clearly, she was having too much fun dividing things up. ❝Are you finished?❞ Slade asked flatly, partly turning to exit the mailroom. ❝We have other places to be.❞

|| @arcencielreve

[escapewithoutghosts]

Hey bestie. Are you ok

yeah ofc why would you think differently 🤡

Narrator: Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve there happened a story you must see to believe. Way up in the mountains, in the high range of Pontoos lay the small town of Whoville: The home of the Whos.

Ask any Who, And they'll have this to say: "There is no place like Whoville around Christmas Day."

Every window was flocked, every lamppost was dressed and the Whoville band marched in their Christmasy best.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!

Arbor Day was fine, and Easter was pleasant and every Saint Fizzin's day, they ate a Fizz pheasant.

But every Who knew, from their twelve toes to their snout they loved Christmas the most, without a single Who doubt.

Farfingle's welcomes you!

Thank you.

Merry Christmas! Thank you for shopping Farfingle's!

Father: We got a snoozlephone for your brother Drew and a snoozlephone for your brother Stu, a muncle for your uncle a fant for your aunt and a fandpa for your cousin Leon.

So, we just need.... Cindy?

Sale on Aisle 3!

Cindy Lou!

Merry Christmas.

Hello, Myrna. Merry Christmas, Fred. Excuse me.

Cindy Lou? Honey?

Cindy: Dad?

Father: Yeah?

Cindy: Doesn't this seem like a bit much?

Father: This is what Christmas is all about! Can't you feel it?

Cindy: (shakes her head no)

Merry Christmas!

Thank you for shopping Farfingle's. Wait a second! Your change!

Another minute closer to Christmas!

And, for the next five minutes only, 99 percent off!

Narrator: Yes, every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville- did not.

Get on it, girls. All the good mistletoe's at the top.

Hey, Drew, I'll race you!

Not if I race you first.

Last one to the top is a stinky old Grinch!

You guys, where are we? I think we should go back.

What? You're scared of the Grinch!

No!

They say he lives up here in a big cave. And only comes down when he's hungry for the taste of Who flesh!

Drew! You guys!

You're scared of the Grinch! You're scared of the Grinch! Am not!

Are too!

Am not! Are two!

Wait for me!

Go on, touch it. Touch the door.

Do it for me, Stu.

Well done, Max!

Serves them right, those Yuletide-loving sickly-sweet, nog-sucking cheer mongers!

I really don't like them.

No, I don't.

Max!

Get my cloak!

I've been much too tolerant of these Whovenile delinquents and their innocent, victimless pranks.

So, they want to get to know me, do they?

They want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch.

I guess I could use a little social interaction.

Merry Christmas!

Yeah, you bet.

Ho, ho, ho, and stuff.

Oh, my.

Someone has vandalized that vehicle.

You see, Max? The city is a dangerous place.

Narrator: The Grinch hated Christmas. The whole Christmas season.

Top of the day. Flatfoot.

Narrator: Now, please, don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

Here's a present for you.

Be sure to run real fast with it. Come on. Double time. Move.

Narrator: It could be that his head Wasn't screwed on just right, Or it could be, perhaps, That his shoes were too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all, May have been that his heart Was two sizes too small.

Stranger, won't let you go till you buy a chapeau!

Father: (carrying presents)Boy, nothing beats Christmas, right?

Cindy Lou: I guess...

Father: You guess?

Cindy Lou: Well, it's just, I look around at you and Mom and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn't this seem...superfluous?

Dad! Dad!

What happened to you?

It was the Grinch!

The Grinch?!

What do you want? I mean....

"Grinch? Oh, no!"

Mayor: Did someone just say "Grinch?"

Father: Hello Mayor May-Who.

Lou.

Mayor: I don't need to remind you all that this Christmas marks the one thousandth Whobilation, Whoville's most important celebration!

And the Book of Who ( pulling out a large book) says very clearly "Every size of Who we can measure knows that Whobilation is a time we must treasure!"

Now, Lou, please tell me that your boys were not up on Mount Crumpit provoking the one creature within a billion bilometers of here who hates Christmas!

But it was the Grinch!

No, sir, the boys didn't see any Grinch.

It was, and he came after...

I think they were up on the mountain playing with matches, or defacing public property, or....

That's a relief.

All right, you heard the man: There is no Grinch problem here.

I need it there by tomorrow.

Heck of a rush.

Merry Christmas, Mo. Heck of a rush.

But, Dad I just don't understand something.

Why won't anyone talk about the Grinch?

You kids and the Grinch!

You see, Cindy, the Grinch is a Who, who always....

Actually, not a Who. He's more of a....

A what?

Exactly, honey.

And he's a What who doesn't like Christmas.

Take a look at his mailbox, sweetie.

Not a single Christmas card, in or out.

Ever!

But why?

Lou, where's my mail?

Lou! Got the wrong mail here.

Lou! I got the wrong mail!

I'll be right there.

Lou, we got a problem!

All right, we'll straighten this out.

It'll take them years to sort this out.

This is his and now it's yours, and this hers and now it's his!

And for the rest of you: Jury duty! Jury duty! Jury duty!

Blackmail. Pink slip. Chain letter. Eviction notice.

Jury duty!

Would you mind helping me take this to the back room, honey?

Be careful of the sorting machine, right?

Yeah.

Gesundheit.

You're the....

The....

The Grinch!

That worked out nicely.

Help!

Help me! Somebody!