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soundsofcicadas · 1 year ago

Text

Swan Song, part one

Pairing: Koo Junhoe x Reader (f)

Genres: Drama, Angst, Romance, Childhood best friends, Junhoe is a former idol, Friends to lovers

Count: 2697

Warnings: None

Synopsis: After an unexpected encounter with your childhood best friend Junhoe, years after drifting apart, your rekindled friendship blooms anew. However, life takes a turn when he asks you to pen an article for his upcoming wedding. As you become entangled in his personal life, your old feelings of love for him begin resurfacing and the concealed secret behind his decision to abandon his idol career is soon to be unveiled by you.

It was a dreary, rain-soaked afternoon and you found yourself carrying a couple of grocery bags, each lightly dampened by the persistent drizzle. The rain had already drenched your umbrella, rendering it almost useless. You let out a sigh and quickened your pace, hoping to reach your apartment before the rain grew heavier. Upon crossing the street, you noticed an old record store nestled between a quaint cafe and a cozy bookstore. You glanced up and saw its faded sign bore the name “Good Oldies,” and a sudden sense of nostalgia washed over you.

“Should I?” You asked yourself with some hesitation. You looked at the groceries in your hands for a moment before a faint smile appeared on your face. Despite them weighing you down, curiosity got the better of you.

You pushed open the creaky door of the record store. A soft bell tinkled above as you stepped in, greeted by the familiar scent of old vinyl and the gentle hum of music playing on a vintage turntable. Rows upon rows of vinyl records filled the store, their covers adorned with vibrant artwork and the promise of forgotten melodies. You set your grocery bags down and began flipping through the albums, each one a portal to a different era. Lost in the world of music, you finally settled on a Billie Holiday record, its cover portraying the singer’s side view posing behind a purplish background. As you held the record in your hands, your eyes caught a tall figure browsing by the “Rock” section in the next aisle. Aside from the cashier patiently waiting at the counter, only the two of you were the customers inside. You couldn’t help but stare at the mysterious man in front of you. He was wearing jeans, paired with a matching brown corduroy blazer and a baseball cap. You could see him picking up a Bob Dylan record and once he turned around, you glanced up to see his face clearly.

You froze, your eyes fluttered rapidly.

Even if you could only see half of his face, you surely recognized him. A jumble of emotions rushed through you—surprise, longing? A twinge of anxiety.

Is it really him? No, it’s definitely him! Should I approach him? What if he doesn’t recognize me?

Without further thought, you took a deep breath and cleared your throat. He was about to walk towards the counter when your voice broke through the soft veil background music in the sparsely populated store.

“Junhoe?” You called.

Junhoe halted and took a glimpse at you, his brows furrowed in confusion.

Your heart sank, but you pressed on moving closely to him. “It’s me, y/n. We used to live next door to each other when we were kids.”

Junhoe turned to face you completely.

Familiarity dawned on him as he began examining the stranger before him—from the contours of your face to the soft curve of your cheeks. Your long ebony hair, still dampened from the rain. Your eyes were bright, widened in astonishment. You were wearing a long white sundress covered in an oversized baby pink coat, a Lady Satin album in your hands.

“Y/n?” He mumbled.

You were his childhood best friend, until he dropped out in middle school and left for the city to pursue his dreams. You were the one he promised to call and write but never did. When did he forget about you? He couldn’t even remember. Junhoe sifted through his forgotten memories of you and for some unknown reason, found comfort in recalling how you used to exude a carefree spirit when you were both young. You were one of the boys in the neighborhood and never changed your circle of friends, even when you all started attending school up to your adolescence. He fondly remembered how, during your escapades together, you would match your energy with him and the boys in the group effortlessly. Being the eldest among the six of them, you naturally assumed the role of an older sister. You became their protector against mean kids if any of them were bullied.

Junhoe’s gaze lingered on the subtle changes in your style, the way your clothing reflects your femininity. Your posture now carried a touch of maturity, but your features still looked youthful, untouched by the passage of time. Gone was the y/n who hunted for frogs and insects with him in her tees and chucks.

Junhoe noticed how he had almost gotten lost in his thoughts upon hearing you answer him excitedly with a “Yes, it’s me! I can’t believe it’s you.”

“I can’t believe it’s you too.” He responded to you with a warm smile.

************************************************************************

“You didn’t have to pay for it, you know.” You said shyly to Junhoe, pertaining to the album he bought for you from the record store. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as you and Junhoe sat across from each other in a secluded corner of the coffee shop. The clinking of cups and hushed conversations along with the playing jazz melody formed as gentle backdrop to your reunion.

“It’s not free! You're paying for my coffee.” Junhoe teased, earning a laugh from you.

“You bet it’s my treat today!” You nodded with a grin. There was a brief pause when you added, “Thank you Junhoe for coming here with me. I’m not taking too much of your time, am I?”

Junhoe shook his head. “Oh no y/n! I’m actually on vacation right now. I was here just a few days ago.”

So this is why he’s back. You mused.

Taking a sip from the hot caramel macchiato you ordered, you had a chance to observe Junhoe over the brim of your cup—the white undershirt suited his ensemble that day. You knew the baseball cap perched casually on his head was not just a simple accessory. It created a shield of privacy around him from the curious gazes of onlookers given the fact that Junhoe was still a celebrity. You didn’t mind ordering for him. You knew he wanted to pick a spot away from the prying eyes of customers, hence to where the both of you are now nestled. It offered a discreet setting to catch up after all those lost time. Junhoe peeked through the misty glass of the cafe’s window, where the rain seemed to have turned into light pattering before he glimpsed back at you.

“It’s been so long, y/n. I can’t believe we’re sitting here after all these years.”

You beamed at him and set your coffee down on the tabletop, “I know, right? Life has taken us on such different paths.”

Junhoe’s expression shifted, a hint of remorse tugging at his sharp features. “Y/n, I feel terrible for not keeping in touch, especially considering how close we were.”

Your gaze softened, but your smile was unwavering. “It’s okay, Junhoe. You were chasing your passion, and you built a new life for yourself outside this town. Not all of us were headed in the same direction anyway. It genuinely made me happy to see you thriving. I’ve always been proud of you, Junhoe.”

Your last statement piqued Junhoe's curiosity.

“Proud?” He repeated.

“How do I say this—” You tried to avoid looking at his face. Your sight dipping into the stain of your lipstick on the cup of your coffee as if seeking solace. You felt a pang of embarrassment tickling the edges of your consciousness, a quiet voice whispering the fear that your words might be misconstrued. You didn’t want him to think you were some sort of fervent, overzealous stalker. A faint blush tinted your cheeks. Your fingers fidgeted nervously with the fabric of your dress.

“I followed your journey as a singer Junhoe. Your rise to fame was like a whirlwind. Your voice was everywhere.” You divulged. “I even went to some of your concerts to be honest.”

Junhoe’s awe hung in the air from your confession, yet he held no judgement from it. He was grateful, flattered to say the least.

“I wish I had known that y/n. Thank you.” He said to you with care.

“But I’m definitely not a saesang or anything.” You reassured him with a nervous laugh. You didn’t dare to meet Junhoe’s eyes because sharing this information with him made you feel exposed, yet you continued, “You were the closest friend I ever had, and I guess I’ve always clung to the belief that your dreams would come true. Regardless of the passing years and not hearing anything from you, you still have a special place in my heart.”

Junhoe began to feel the weight of your words, a surge of sorrow and regret engulfed him. He reflected on how your connection with each other in the past was unbreakable. His inseparability with you was the envy of the other boys in your circle. You had always favored him, making your bond together a more special one. You stood by him, especially during his appearances in school talent shows and local town festivals. You consistently supported him to the point where you recorded his audition tapes sent to entertainment companies. Junhoe got accepted by YG Entertainment eventually, and your joy that day for him was immeasurable. You even brought the boys with you to accompany him on his first day of training to the company.

“I’m really sorry, y/n.” Junhoe stated, his face grim. “You know, during those years, I was so caught up with the hectic demand of my career. I lost contact with a lot of people, including you.” Junhoe was struggling to find the right words, knowing that they might come across as excuses for not reaching out for such a long time. Yet, they were the only words he could muster.

The fervent pursuit of Junhoe’s dream to become a singer resulted in his connections slipping away like grains of sand through his fingers. The rigors of his training consumed his time and energy, leaving little room to see or talk to his circle of friends. Gradually, Junhoe started living at the company’s dormitory which made him more detached from them. Their relationship began to fray due to his lack of communication—the letters he’d forgotten to read, calls gone to voicemail and most importantly, the highlights of the lives of his friends he missed out on knowing and witnessing, causing both sides to finally dwindle into silence. As Junhoe marched toward his debut, the overwhelming preparation and anticipation completely absorbed him. The spotlight of the stage beckoned, and the weight of his ambition denied him the opportunity to look backwards. The vortex of his rise to fame kept him farther from his roots. Recording sessions, photo shoots, TV appearances and tours became the center of his everyday life. It cast him into a turbulence of events that seemed to happen in the blink of an eye. The adoration of fans, the flashes of cameras and the cheers of crowds all consumed his focus. The memories of his friends back in his hometown became a blur, their faces fading like distant constellations in the night sky.

The realization of how you held onto your belief that he would achieve his aspirations, had affected Junhoe in some kind of way. Your persistence in tracking his path as a singer astounded him. He was profoundly moved how you cherished your friendship after such a long period of being apart.

However, at that exact moment, a haunting thought emerged within Junhoe, creeping into the recesses of his mind like an uninvited guest. In your presence, a world he had thought he’d left behind reignited, casting a shadow of pain over him. A bittersweet memory of a dream that had once been within his grasp, disappeared as swiftly as a fleeting breath.

You returned your attention back to Junhoe. It was not your intention to cause him any negative feelings.

“Please don’t feel bad, Junhoe.” You pleaded. “We were kids, and circumstances changed. I never held it against you.”

Junhoe had somehow found consolation in your words, although a subtle ache still persisted beneath the surface.

“Thank you, y/n. That means a lot to me.” He said sincerely.

“I know this may sound too much Junhoe, but I knew then you were destined to be a singer. You weren’t meant to be stuck in this town like me.” You declared. “That’s why it made me sad when you retired from music. You were at the peak of your career, but I truly get it and I still support you pursuing other things.”

Junhoe leaned back in his chair and looked at the momentarily forgotten coffee on the table, as if searching for the right answer. He was torn between vulnerability and a desire to protect the fragile facade he had built. He wrestled between overwhelming emotions, a torrent of memories he had forgotten now resurfacing. A cascade of what-ifs and maybes flooded his mind, reminding him of the dreams he had once harbored.

Junhoe offered a fleeting smile, a fragile acknowledgment that your words touched a chord within him. But he remained guarded, his response veiled by the walls he had erected to secure himself from the agonizing truth he had long concealed.

“You’re kind to say that.” Junhoe murmured softly, his gaze now meeting yours. His voice carried a weight of both resignation and yearning, a silent plea for understanding. It was a response that revealed the depth of his struggle, a battle between the echoes of his dreams and the reality he had come to accept.

“I’m into writing poetry now, y/n. I’ve published a few books and it’s been therapeutic for me.” Junhoe revealed. “I guess, I’m still part of the music industry. I occasionally produce music for my fellow artists.”

“That’s amazing Junhoe!” You responded, providing him with warm encouragement. “It’s incredible how you continue to explore and evolve as an artist. I wasn’t lucky to obtain a copy of your last book though, it got easily sold out!”

Junhoe appreciated your attempt to inject a lighthearted laugh into the conversation, as a means to thaw the seriousness of it. But talking about himself had begun to tire him out, prompting him to steer the discussion to you.

“Enough of me y/n, how have you been?” Junhoe asked. “Are you still friends with Hanbin and the other boys?”

“Me? Oh, I’m also a writer like you, but it’s for a local lifestyle magazine.” You shared; your voice laced with enthusiasm as you seamlessly followed along with his transition of topic. “And yes, I’m still friends with the boys. Hanbin now teaches elementary school kids. Would you believe that?”

“Wow! Really?” Junhoe’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“Yeah. Yun works as a master chef at a fancy hotel in Seoul. As for Jiwon, he has his own family already. Him and Dong both resided in the US after graduation, but they live in different states. Dong has his own dance studio somewhere in LA.”

A comfortable atmosphere began to envelop the two of you, and Junhoe felt his shoulders visibly relax as he listened to your stories about your childhood friends. It offered a refreshing change from his life in the spotlight. Engaging to hear every detail of their lives, he couldn’t help but recognize how much he missed them and how happy it made him that they were all doing so well through the years.

Until a specific event sparked in Junhoe’s mind, inspiring him to extend an invitation to you. He saw this as an opportunity to keep the rekindled connection you both shared, a bond he was determined not to let fade away as he had done in the past.

“Y/n, would you be interested in joining me for an art exhibit tomorrow night? Feel free to bring Hanbin and your other friends as well, if you like.” Junhoe asked you excitedly.

A glint appeared in your eyes upon hearing the kind gesture. “I would love to Junhoe! That’s wonderful because I like art a lot.”

“That’s great, y/n! I’ll text you the address.” Junhoe replied cheerfully, looking forward to seeing you again.

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soundsofcicadas · 4 months ago

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Swan song, part two

Pairing: Koo Junhoe x Reader (f)

Genres: Drama, Angst, Romance, Childhood best friends, Junhoe is a former idol, Friends to lovers

Count: 3004

Warnings: None

“I want to go home.” You heard Hanbin complain, the moment you set foot inside the building where the art exhibit was currently taking place. It was a serene Sunday evening, and the venue is located at the heart of your hometown. A prominent sign displayed a vivid picture of the artist, Hwang Hyunjin at the entrance. Beneath his captivating blonde portrait, the bold title “Mind Visions and Their Facets Through Colors” was emblazoned with a disclaimer discreetly positioned at the bottom: “All proceeds from this event contribute to charitable causes.”

Disregarding Hanbin's comment, you searched for any sign of your other friend Yunhyeong among the sea of faces.

“Yun is here somewhere.” Your voice pierced through the bustling crowd.

“Thank God for free food courtesy of our Song Yunhyeong.” Hanbin remarked, his senses easily caught the aroma coming from the opulent spread of delicacies at the catering area of the exhibit.

The elegant space was infused with vibrant energy as a steady stream of attendees filtered in. Each well-dressed guest radiated an aura of affluence, mingling amid the artwork. Their cultured chatter carried an air of sophistication, indicating that they were the elite of the art world, gathered to appreciate the abstract pieces on display. Clad in a chic Ralph Lauren cocktail dress, you couldn't thank Junhoe enough for reminding you of the theme for tonight’s event. You were also grateful to Hanbin's girlfriend, Yeri, who, despite the limited preparation time, had managed to lend you an outfit from her designer-filled wardrobe.

Like a burst of energy against the artistic refined setting, you spotted Yunhyeong hurrying toward the three of you. His face lit up seeing his friends waiting for him.

“And so, fate has its own way of bringing us back together!” Yunhyeong exclaimed, his voice taking on a narrator's cadence, making you all chuckle.

“It's quite a coincidence, isn't it? I got picked to cater for tonight's exhibit, the very event you guys were invited to by Junhoe.” Yunhyeong marveled, his voice quickly returning to its usual tone.

“I wish Jiwon and Donghyuk could be here too." You sighed with longing.

You felt Hanbin's hand gently pat your shoulder.

“If it weren't for you and the free food, I wouldn't be here either.” He sneered.

You playfully crossed your arms and raised an eyebrow at Hanbin, fully aware that he was only joking. As the introvert of the group, you understood that events like these weren't his comfort zone. But last night's video call with him and the other boys proved otherwise. He, too, wanted to see Junhoe after you shared your surprising reunion with him. It was heartwarming how they handled the situation with maturity, without any lingering resentment toward their old friend.

Well, maybe Hanbin was a little sulky about the whole situation at first knowing how close you were with Junhoe in the past. He had seen how much you were hurting during Junhoe's absence. Despite you being older than him, he had always acted like a caring older brother to you. While Yunhyeong, Jiwon, and Donghyuk were also there for you, Hanbin's presence remained a constant in your life. He may have had his initial reservations, yet he chose to trust your judgment when you expressed Junhoe's sincerity to reconnect by inviting them to the art exhibit as well.

“Yeah, I know you're only here for the food, Bin.” Yunhyeong retorted. “You don't have a single ounce of appreciation for art. So, if I were you, Yeri, I'd think twice about marrying this guy.”

Yeri laughed at Yunhyeong’s jest and cast a mischievous look at Hanbin.

“Excuse me?” Hanbin arched his eyebrows at Yunhyeong, seemingly offended. “Art is something I’m very fond of. I'm just not particularly keen on attending large gatherings like this.”

“Dude, you teach a whole class of elementary kids and conduct yearly PTAs, how is this any different?” Yunhyeong expressed confusion.

“Being in a crowd full of art elitists is a whole different ball game.” Hanbin replied flatly. "I don't have to pretend around children. If they don't like you, they don't, if they tell you you're ugly that's because it's true."

You and Yunhyeong can't help but snort at Hanbin's answer.

Amused with her boyfriend, Yeri intercepted. “Well, these art elitists are what y/n and I deal at work, babe.”

“But you aren't like them, so I also don't have to pretend when I'm with you two.” Hanbin quipped.

“You're forgetting my dad owns a publishing company, which means I'm part of this privileged community you dislike.” Yeri stated with mischievous intention, while tapping her finger on her chin.

Hanbin took her hand in his as if to tease her. “Dislike is a strong word, but that's exactly the reason why I'm gonna marry you babe.”

Yeri burst out laughing along with you and Yunhyeong, eliciting strange looks from the guests passing by your circle.

There was a ping from Yeri's phone which was her cue to leave the group for the meantime.

“Chanwoo needs me now for that magazine feature, I have to go.” Yeri noted, kissing Hanbin on the cheek before turning to you. “Don't worry, y/n, leave this to me. I want you to enjoy the event with the guys.” She gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze and vanished into the crowd.

You nearly forgot that the artist himself personally invited your editor-in-chief, Jung Chanwoo to the exhibit as well. He asked you to cover the event for a potential feature on your magazine's upcoming issue, knowing that you and Yeri would be present tonight. But Yeri volunteered to do it in your place instead.

You could only smile at Yeri’s thoughtfulness. “She’s technically my boss, but she sometimes acts more of an associate like me.”

“Man, you're lucky to have Yeri!” Yunhyeong remarked, throwing a playful jab at Hanbin’s stomach.

“I’m also lucky to have her as my boss.” You concurred.

“But what time is Junhoe coming though?” Yunhyeong asked, his gaze roamed across the hall to find Junhoe. You and Hanbin both glanced around to look for Junhoe too.

You took out your phone when you felt it vibrate from your purse and saw Junhoe's text; Hi, I'm here, where are you?

At that exact moment, you easily sensed there had been a sudden shift in the crowd's murmurs. Whispers and hushed conversations began rippling through the guests, and like them, your attention was immediately captured by a lavish pair making their way to the front doors.

You catch yourself staring at Junhoe who was dressed impeccably in a black Prada suit. But you didn't fail to notice the woman accompanying him—none other than his fiancée, Shin Yuna.

You saw it on the news a year ago—his engagement to his girlfriend of four years. A model and singer-turned-actress he met from one of his movies when he was still acting. The two made their relationship public after promoting their romantic comedy film. It was believed that the co-stars developed feelings for each other on set.

You had seen him wearing the engagement ring on his finger at the coffee shop yesterday—a detail you had momentarily forgotten. Seeing him now walking with his fiancée by his side reminds you of his existing commitment.

Before you could even reply to his message, Junhoe already saw you and was strolling closer to your direction.

“Y/n!” He called. “Sorry we got stuck in traffic a bit. So glad you made it.”

Junhoe beamed at you.

You felt embarrassed for yourself because you knew that smile had some effect on you. You could only blame it on his meticulously slicked black hair, or his sharp, masculine features like his chiseled jawline. His well-tailored Prada suit accentuated his lean frame, adding an aura of suaveness to his already striking appearance. Junhoe exuded a strong and alluring profile, and the list could go on, but you instantly stopped yourself from having these thoughts. There is no way you are attracted to your childhood best friend, who is obviously engaged to a beautiful, perfect woman such as Shin Yuna.

“Thank you for the invitation, Junhoe.” You managed to say, desperately hoping you weren't blushing in front of everyone. Might as well just be swallowed whole into the ground.

Thankfully, Hanbin waved his hand at Junhoe, distracting him away from you.

“Annyeong!” Hanbin greeted him.

“Hyung!” Junhoe greeted back, exchanging Hanbin's wave for a warm hug, startling you and Yunhyeong. Hanbin appeared taken aback, but you could tell he appreciated the brotherly gesture.

Junhoe then scoffed at Yunhyeong upon seeing him. “Nice to see you too, Yun!”

Yunhyeong shook his head and played along with Junhoe's taunts, forcing you to laugh with them as if it were the old times.

“Junhoe you haven’t changed a bit. I'm the oldest and you still disrespect me.”

“I bet you missed me so much huh?”

“Never once thought of you at all. The only reason I'm here is because they need my excellent catering service.”

“There's poison in the food for sure.”

“Why don't you starve in the corner please? Thank you very much.”

It was their usual back-and-forth banter since childhood that you had missed. Among the boys, Yunhyeong was the oldest and everyone addressed him as hyung, except Junhoe. The other boys never questioned it. They knew Yunhyeong had a soft spot for the youngest, just like you had always favored Junhoe, even though they often acted like the Tom and Jerry of the group.

Amidst the playful chatter, Junhoe felt Yuna's grasp, redirecting his attention to her.

“I'm sorry about that jagiya.” Junhoe felt a slight wave of panic realizing he had nearly forgotten to introduce her to his friends.

“By the way, this is my fiancée Shin Yuna.”

Yuna offered a polite smile as she took a glimpse at each of you. It was undeniable how well she complemented Junhoe. Adorned in a stunning Versace gown, Shin Yuna was a doe-eyed, charismatic woman with a figure that boasted possibly the tiniest waist you had ever seen.

Before any of you could exchange greetings with her, she had already excused herself.

“I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but it was nice meeting all of you! I'll leave Junhoe with you guys.”

Is it just you, or does it look like she doesn't want to be here and interact with Junhoe's old friends?

You could see the instant dismay on Junhoe's face upon hearing that from his fiancée.

“Yuna, we just got here.” He said, sounding disappointed.

Yuna swiveled to face him, her voice lowered but still audible. “Jun, honey, you're with your friends. I'd like to look at the paintings, and besides, Hyunjin wants to see me.”

Junhoe sighed in resignation. “Fine. Tell Hyunjin I said hi. I'll catch up with the two of you later.”

“Great!” Yuna pecked Junhoe's lips and left without saying another word to your group.

A brief awkward silence ensued before Junhoe suggested, “Let's get some wine, shall we?”

************************************************************************

Knowing you didn't own a car, Hanbin offered to drive you home that same evening. His route would conveniently pass by your apartment, unlike Yunhyeong and Yeri who live in opposite directions. They also wanted to guarantee you'll get home safely rather than having to commute like you usually do. But all throughout the ride, the events from earlier were playing over in your mind. Seeing Junhoe again with Yunhyeong and Hanbin, filled you with overwhelming happiness. Despite Jiwon and Donghyuk's absence, you found solace in their company as you all reminisced about the past and shared updates on your current lives.

There was, however, a hint of melancholy as the conversation took a more personal turn. Was it the sadness you caught in Junhoe's eyes when he told Yunhyeong and Hanbin about giving up his singing career? Or was it because he already had plans to marry Yuna? Maybe it was how you were reminded of your own single hood when they asked you casually about your dating status—why, among all your friends, had you never been in a relationship?

Well, that wasn't entirely true. You had a few dates that just never turned into something serious. You could only brush it off, claiming you were never interested in anyone and were too focused on work. But deep down you knew that wasn't the case anymore, especially now that you've reconnected with Junhoe. You couldn't stop yourself from admiring how effortlessly handsome he looked all night, and how gentlemanly he had been towards you. You knew it was wrong, yet why did seeing him with Yuna affect you? Perhaps you had too much wine at the exhibit that made you think this way.

You didn't notice the engine of the car turned off until Hanbin's voice spoke to you. “You're home.”

“Thanks Bin.” You gave him a lopsided grin from the passenger seat.

“Did you have fun?” He asked observing your face slightly illuminated by the light coming from your apartment building.

“Did you?” You returned the question to him.

“It was really nice.” He answered as he pulled his hands off the steering wheel.

“I was so caught up talking to you guys that I've almost forgotten about the paintings!” You told him.

You and Hanbin chuckled at that.

Hanbin's countenance took on a serious tone, as though he wanted to talk to you longer while you were still in the car.

“You know how long we've been best friends right?” He started.

“Since forever.” You smiled sheepishly.

“And that makes you easy for me to read.” He stated.

“O-kay yeah, I guess. Your point?” You asked, puzzled as to where he was going with this.

“I don't know why all this time I've never told you this, y/n." Hanbin paused for a few seconds before he continued, “I know you've been in love with Junhoe ever since.”

Silence fell on you. You didn't know how to respond to that. You wanted to deny it outright, to refute his words that you only love and see Junhoe as a friend, yet no sound escaped your lips. The words were stuck in your throat, tangled with your conflicting emotions. Junhoe had always been a cherished childhood friend, akin to a little brother. This perception made it easier for you to dismiss any deeper feelings you might have had for him. You convinced yourself that they were purely platonic to maintain the status quo. Nevertheless, you were aware that you had been suppressing the truth about how your affection for him had grown into something more profound, despite your efforts to dismiss it. The countless seasons spent together during your childhood as you grew up alongside him and watched him chase his dreams, had inevitably laid the foundation for a mere friendship that went beyond.

“Let's be real here, he's the exact reason why you can't take any guy seriously.” Hanbin added.

You just sat there, unable to form a coherent response. Whenever you attempted to date or enter a relationship, you found yourself retreating, sensing that something was always missing. No matter how hard you tried to deny it, no one could compare to Junhoe.

You attempted to push aside these unwelcome thoughts, knowing that there was no possibility he could feel the same way about you, not to mention he could be getting married soon. You reassured yourself that you would come to terms with your feelings and move on once he took that step. For now, you resolved to remain content in your role as a friend, focusing on valuing the friendship you have rather than dwelling on what could never be.

“I know my place, Bin.” You finally got to tell him. “I’m happy with what we have right now.”

“Look, all I wanted to say is, I just don't want you to end up hurt again.” Hanbin expressed his concern.

“You know I’m a big girl right? I can look after myself.” You winked at him. “I appreciate you though.”

Hanbin could only let out a sigh. He averted his gaze from you and suddenly shifted the subject that had you flabbergasted.

“Something seems off about his fiancée. I can sense it, and it makes me feel sorry for him.”

"What the hell, Bin?" You retorted.

Hanbin has an intuitive knack for assessing people he meets, often making character judgments based on first impressions. Unfortunately, Yuna was no exception.

"We don't really know what their relationship is like in private." You could only say. Although you admit you were offended by how she behaved that way in front of his fiance's friends.

Hanbin continued.

“I don't understand why Junhoe had to give up singing for writing, you know? Even acting, he gave up too. Can't he do it all at the same time? I thought he loved singing more than anything.”

That's what you have thought as well. Junhoe has always had a great love for singing, a passion evident to anyone who knew him. From a young age, his talent shone brightly, captivating audiences with his soulful voice. He seemed born for the stage, effortlessly blending emotion and skill in every performance. Singing wasn't just a hobby for Junhoe; it was his calling, the very essence of his being. You asked yourself if he genuinely wanted to explore other paths and as he said, it was about time he settled down in life by marrying Yuna. You felt a gnawing sense of unease, pondering over Junhoe’s choices. There had to be more to it than meets the eye. It was becoming overwhelming, considering you were grappling with your unresolved feelings for him at the same time. Exhaustion and sleepiness begin to settle in your body.

You decided not to linger in Hanbin’s car any further, feeling that your night was over. After saying your goodbyes, you walked to your apartment, trying to quiet your racing thoughts. You hoped for a restful night’s sleep to be ready for work the next morning.

Part one: https://www.tumblr.com/soundsofcicadas/727025864701771776/swan-song-part-one?source=share

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