#june u skipped a whole book pls

[fatcowboys]

very funny in hindsight how i was assuming i wasnt paying close enough attention and missing a detail or two and now its incredibly likely that they probably just mentioned stuff bc they assumed (correctly. it was a correct assumption i am a fool) that people would. Read the books on order and thus not need to detail on things already gone over in the first book

[atknz]

* miguel bernardeau , cismale + he/him | you know santiago atkins, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, two months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to i wanna get better by bleachers like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole   (   golden cross necklace squeezed between his fingers to suppress anger, a worn out book of mormon hidden beneath his nightstand, a tired smile    &    weary laugh echoed down the halls  )    thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is JUNE 25TH    so they’re a cancer, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

                       tw for .    religion, religious trauma, repressed gay ness, suicide 

TLDR: dumb but kind jesus lover who doesn’t know being bisexual exists.  IF YOU WANT TO SIMPLY SKIP TO CONNECTIONS AND PERSONALITY, FEEL FREE TO DO SO!!

insp.  jason from bare: a pop opera, shelby from the wilds.

santiago was born to marina ruiz in 1996.  a low-income waitress from madrid, spain. his father is unknown. one day, when marina was at work, she served a group of young men who described themselves as members of the church of latter day saints (mormons), they were american men sent to madrid to carry out their mission of bringing as many people as possible to jesus christ. they were nice, tipped well, and invited her to church.   feeling down on herself, marina figured there was no harm in doing so and her life was completely changed when she became a full fledge member of the LDS church.  santiago, two at the time, had no choice but to follow in her footsteps.    

life for the two wasn’t bad afterward. marina met a man, Beck Atkins, who quickly became a father figure for santiago. the two fell in love, got married merely five months into their relationship, popped out about four more kids (in which she legally changed santiago’s last name to atkins so that it wouldn’t be obvious he was from a different relationship) and, when santiago turned seventeen, the family of seven set their sights on SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH - beck’s hometown.

santiago was in utah for a year before starting his very own mission. he branded a name tag that said ELDER ATKINS, suited up and was shipped to north carolina with a companion, elder brett, as the two went door-to-door in an attempt to save the lives of residence in NC and bring them closer to jesus christ.  between all of the door slams, threats to get off the lawn, and being made fun of, the two always wore a smile and shared a laugh. as thick as thieves is how people would describe santiago and elder brett - which is known to happen when you’re with each other 24/7 and sharing bunk beds.

                            “ one thing led to another and soon i would discover:                               i was having really strange feelings for steve (elder brett) ”

hi if u guessed that bi-repressed santiago would soon fall head over heels for his companion, you’re abso-fucking-lutely right.  however it wasn’t unrequited, the kiss behind the church van four months into their mission taught him that, but santiago was a coward. as much as elder brett was prepared to stand before the church and declare his love - santiago was certain it was a phase, he’s liked girls before, he’s just confused. besides, the scripture, he thought, was very, very  clear.   so they hid it for another year and eight months.

SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING:        long story short: in a para i’ll get into some day, elder brett had had enough of the secrets, the lying to his family and lying to himself about who he was, at the end of their mission he told santiago he wanted to come out - with or without him - and santiago freaked. he knew it wouldn’t take long for the church to put two-and-two together, and had some extremely harsh words to say to his boyfriend about the decision. about how he was only bored, there were no girls on the trip, he didn’t actually love him, no one could actually love him.     but santiago didn’t know that elder brett was dealing with other demons and, essentially, that came as a last straw for the him. he just remembers a stream of tears pouring from his eyes on his way back to salt lake, the crush of a hug from his mother and father as they apologized for what happened to his friend.    ( in which his dad so lovingly added that elder brett may not make it to the celestial kingdom after ruining god’s plan by ending his life too soon.  )      END TRIGGER WARNING

he stayed at home for a few more years, until remembering a place in NC called irving that he and elder brett felt was quaint and cute, deciding to move there officially in late may. 

BRIEF PERSONALITY  AND  HEAD CANONS.

kind, almost to a fault. he truly is full of love, light, and care. he’s constantly wearing a smile on his face, loves to give hugs and advice and wants the best for everyone.  HE WILL GIVE YOU A HUG UNANNOUNCED

kind of an idiot who is shit at context clues, always finds it strange when people are mean. has never touched a drop of alcohol and doesn’t swear. catch him saying “frick” religiously

jesus christ is his best friend.

has a dark side with an insane amount of anger issues ever since he was a kid. it’s one of the reasons his mother thought the church worked so well because they taught him how to suppress that emotion and... smile instead of feeling it.     which obviously isn’t good, as he could have a tendency to black out and realize he’d completely smashed his tv to bits or punched a hole in the wall.

he’s not 100% sure of his sexuality. he knows he’s into guys so he basically decided that must mean he’s gay but is extremely confused because he also finds himself having crushes on women.  someone sit him down and tell him that bisexuality / pansexuality exists bc he’s HARMED

                                      CONNECTIONS 

he was on his mission in / around irving two years ago ,  2019 - knocking on every door and asking if he and his companion can share the story of jesus christ with them... so pls give me a connect of someone who either entertained the idea, slammed the door in his face or threatened him to get off their lawn.

bad influence. he never touched a drop of alcohol, doesn’t cuss, doesn’t even drink coffee. pls he’s so boring

bible study friends lmao

A FRIEND WHO HE CLUNG TO!! their personality doesn’t matter but it’d be hella cute if they were usually irritated by santiago and he had no idea. he’s like haha ur so funny when ur mean i love u <3

BASICALLY ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING 

TBA IM SO TIRED

[the-ooverdose]

Tagged by @chanyeolsuniverse thank youuuuuuuuuu darling!!!

How tall are you?

Officially on my ID is 1.70cm (5′5 ft) but probably 1.65cm (5′4 ft)

What color are your eyes?

Light green, hazel and dark green (hard to explain)

Do you wear contacts and/or glasses?

Dood I’m blind

Do you wear braces?

nope

What is your fashion style?

I counted 16 blouses in my closet this morning, in general I wear everything I like, vintage, classy, street, interesting and particular clothes 

When were you born?

9th of June

How old are you?

19 years old

Do you have any siblings?

An older sister/goblin/oogly creature

What school/college do you go to?

no one at the moment

What kind of student are you?

I was really good, I studied a lot even if I used to procrastinate a lot and do stuff late

What are your favorite subjects?

Sculpture, drawing the model posing for us, english literature, philosophy and history of art

What are your favorite movies?

Too many? I actually have a list, movies are a big passion of mine

What are your favorite pastimes?

Dancing, drawing, singing, watching movies, reading, photography and walking somewhere nice 

Do you have any regrets?

yes

What is your dream job?

I would have loved to be a dancer but eh life is cruel, I guess I’d like to draw books and travel around the world somehow

Would you like to get married?

not really, maybe one day I’ll change my mind

Do you want kids? How many?

Nope

How many countries have you visited?

5

What was your scariest dream?

Idk I had some nightmares when I was younger but in general I have weird dreams I can’t really explain cause they are way too long and complicated 

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other?

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH pls

Put your playlist on shuffle and without skipping the first 15 songs:

CLC - Hobgoblin

Petite Meller - Baby Love

Halsey - Colors pt II

TVXQ - Mirotic

Linkin Park - Castle f Glass

Chanyeol - Everglow (Coldplay cover)

NCT U - The 7th Sense

CBX - For You

Kara - Step

EXO - Transformer

Imagine Dragons - Demons

Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love

Mika - Grace Kelly

The Naked And Famous - Girls Like You

Dropkick Murphys - I’m Shipping Up To Boston 

tagging @01kenta @mauloveskpop @flawlessbaekhyun and whoever wants to do it!