#julius: subaru why is there hair in the mayo? subaru. subaru. subaru what do you mean you took a bath in this-

[mishy-mashy]

Wilhelm:

On the topic of the Crusch:IF: Arc 2, one of the ways Subaru quickly endears himself to the faction at large is by cooking them food. It’s the kind of work that he get really good at really quickly once he figures his way around the tools, and then he figures out how to make massive amounts of food all at the same time. Once he gets really good at it, he often finds himself offering to take over entirely so that the other staff can go help with the Fish problem. It’s a lot of work, and it often takes him hours and hours so he can’t do it every day, but he can do it when it seems like they need all hands on deck. (Their efforts to impress upon him the terror of the Whale are fruitless: Subaru doesn’t understand how a flying whale can be anything but ridiculous, no matter how much he tries to take it seriously anyway due to it being important to THEM.) (It becomes almost endearing after a while — and then almost a physical embodiment of a camp-wide goal. They’ll fight the Whale, and they’ll win, and sweet, stupid Subaru — alongside the rest of the common folk of Lugunica, for whom he is basically a standing representation — will never need to know the terror of fighting such a horrific beast.) Anyway, he gets really good at cooking good food for a good amount of people and he starts to really take pride in seeing others eat what he’s made. At first it’s just basic dishes, the things native to Lugunica that the other staff members patiently teach him over time, but soon he actually starts to use tactics from home to make stuff that they didn’t know how to do. Food that he finds nostalgic, and things that he can contribute that really are all his own. (The things he makes remind a couple of the others of Kararagi — but when they say the country’s name, he just thinks they sneezed.)

He makes snacks for people too, sometimes, if they come to him while they’re both off-duty. Mimi, Tivey and Hetaro take advantage of this to make Subaru make them something called “pancakes” in the morning — but secretly, so they don’t all get in trouble when someone (Julius) walks in to see them having dessert for breakfast again. Ricardo knows what he’s doing, but he think it’s funny seeing the four of them try to hide it with such guilty looks on their faces whenever he “accidentally” walks in just a bit too early. Ricardo is actually also someone who forces Subaru to cook for him a bit too often, maybe, but Subaru doesn’t mind nearly as much as he lets on, especially because Ricardo’ll sit and talk with him about his most recent missions (the ones with non-classified details) as he cooks. Ferris stops by pretty often too, and he gets a lot more sass than Ricardo does, but it’s really deserved with how he uses the opportunity to bully Subaru relentlessly. Joshua comes sometimes, too, but he never asks for anything directly — but the one time Subaru doesn’t make him anything he gets, like, visibly dejected. (He doesn’t ask next time either, but Subaru doesn’t wait for him to do so.) Julius comes by once or twice, but is actually pretty surprised when Subaru sets a bowl of Subaru-style tomato soup (a recipe from Japan) in front of him when he does: he really hadn’t expected to be served anything outside of mealtimes, but Subaru complains that he’d be insulting his hard work if he refused >:( Do you really wanna insult the chef, Julius. Do you. Crusch only comes once, and it’s when she’s absolutely exhausted and needs something to eat now. Subaru makes something good for her as fast as he can: she looks awful, but she looks much better once she’s eaten something (and once she’s had a conversation with someone who’s not constantly looking at her for directions, too, though he doesn’t pick up on that).

Wilhelm doesn’t stop by, even though Subaru kind of wishes he would: he still doesn’t have a very strong grasp of just how fond Wilhelm is of him and kind of (really) wants to prove himself to him in any way he can. This doesn’t really change, but as the weeks go by and Subaru gets more comfortable, he starts making meals and going to find Wilhelm himself whenever he sees that the old man skipped out on eating with everyone else in order to keep preparing for the whale fight.

He even knows their favorite dishes! He knows the triplets like sweets, especially pastries, as well as anything with bread — especially, in Mimi’s case, if there’s meat involved. Ricardo is similar in that regard, but he prefers smokier dishes than Mimi and her brothers do. He knows that Ferris hates fish, but likes poultry, and really loves peaches and other fruits. He knows Julius likes tomatoes, and Joshua does not no matter how much he tries to insist that he does. Crusch likes spicy food. Wilhelm…he doesn’t get a great read on Wilhelm, but he seems to prefer stew, maybe.

Subaru tries to get back into cooking for them all following the Whale fight — insists on it, even despite the others telling him to just rest for a bit — but his hands shake and he flinched away from things he didn’t used to be scared of at all. And his sense of taste is — gone: no matter how much spice he adds, he can’t taste a thing. The others get a very big surprise when they try to eat his dish and find it is practically inedible due to how much salt he added to the damn thing, and once they figure out that this was not on purpose, that he’s not just mad at them, they decide to ban him from the kitchen until further notice.

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 4. Random thoughts.

So this is where mayonnaise came into the story. I still remember my sheer utter confusion over the mayo bath in the Memory Snow OVA, having no memory of the anime ever bringing up any of Subaru's love for the condiment. As a positive for him at least, it's cool that Emilia apparently really likes it too and that he's the one who figured out how to makes the stuff in this new world.

“The lad’s eyes interested me ever so slightly. They said he has crossed the boundary of death. Many come close to the line, stop, and draw back, but...” Wilhelm lowered his lids in thought as his words trailed off. “Those are the eyes of one who has crossed once, no...several times, and returned. I know of no such being. You might say I was compelled by curiosity.”

How would he know what the eyes of someone like that look like if he's never met anyone like that before Subaru?

“Listen and be amazed, look and be astounded! Behold, the ultimate combat technique—RoSciPer!!”

“What is that...thing?! You did not inform me such a hand was possible!”

“Shut up! I didn’t mention it, but it’s your fault you didn’t ask! That part is rock, this here’s scissors, and over there is paper! In other words, my hand’s beaten your rock!”

That is so freaking petty. But on the other hand, maybe Priscilla would respect him for it anyway? I could see her having no problem with winning however you can, even if it's by being unfair and tricking your opponent, as long as you keep your own pride.

“—But I wonder what Master Roswaal is thinking?”

She inclined her head slightly as she voiced her doubts about the instructions her master had left that morning.

“He said, ‘Do not stand in Subaru’s way no matter what Lady Emilia may say to you.’”

It was as if he’d anticipated Subaru’s actions and had instructed her accordingly. She also wondered why he was valuing Subaru’s opinion above Emilia’s.

Hmm...now that's curious.

“That’s right, bro. It’s been eighteen years since I got summoned here. I lost my arm around the same time... Right around the age you are right now.”

Just like that, Al confessed to Subaru that he’d experienced the same situation.

...Wait...WHAT?! If this was in the anime then I completely forgot about it because holy sh*t, Al is from another world too?! And according to him he arrived 18 years ago and was about the same age as Subaru is (and Subaru is roughly 17, isn't he?). No idea if he can Return By Death and if he can he might have the same penalty for trying to talk about it as Subaru does, so he obviously couldn't talk about it, but this is a huge deal. It's a great bit to add to Subaru's story, showing off what could have happened to him and what he could still eventually become. It probably deepened his obsession with Emilia a little bit too, since she's the main difference between him and Al.

“Unfortunately, Lady Emilia, this is not the time or place for you to argue. If all the facts become clear, Subaru will be staying here...for a very, veeery long time.”

Okay, Roswaal f**king knows and is planning something.

They talk about a Dragon Tablet handed down by Holy Dragon Volcanica, which has given predictions and warnings about great disasters that did actually occur. Naturally, my first thoughts are that this Holy Dragon (or whoever wrote the tablet) might have had abilities like Subaru's RBD and that he'll have his own role to play.

Felt might be a long lost princess of the royal family that was wiped out in a strangely specific plague and Subaru met both her and Emilia first in this world because she stole for her the thing that proved she was a worthy candidate for being a Dragon Maiden. It kind of feels like the Witch of Envy is like the Force from Star Wars with how well she made the destinies and chance encounters line up.

I never really liked Ferris that much, and not because he's a cat-boy trap. It's more the way he talks. I like things that are cute but I can't stand things that are cutesy.

While Crusch's idea for the future of the kingdom is nothing that should be rushed, and most certainly should be done with care as not to piss off the dragon, I get where she's coming from, that they are too reliant on the dragon's blessings and not doing enough for themselves. It's a classic argument I've seen plenty in superhero stories. There's no denying the heroes have done a lot of good but when the people become too dependent on them and if/when the heroes can't help anymore, what's going to happen then? It's one of my favorite plot points in My Hero Academia, where common citizens thinking "It's fine, a hero will show up and take care of it." and not helping where they should have eventually gave rise to one of their world's most dangerous and infamous supervillains.

“A-and now you make threats. These words and this show of force convey, ‘Do as I say or you shall be an icicle.’ If this is not blackmail, what is...?!”

Then, Emilia wholeheartedly affirmed his suspicions.

“—Yes, I am threatening you.” She continued, “I shall make my case to the esteemed members of the Council of Elders once more. My name is Emilia. I spent a long time in the Great Forest of Elioor, the World of Eternal Frost, and am served by Puck, the Great Spirit that governs fire mana. I am a silver-haired half-elf. The people of the nearby villages called me...”

Emilia paused, surveying the faces of the Council of Elders on the dais.

“...the Freezing Witch, born in the Frozen Forest.”

Holy sh*t, I am way more into Emilia's character here than I was in the anime! That was awesome! Her whole speech after too and her finally being given some respect. It's not like she didn't have any personality or agency in the anime. It's not like she could have just been replaced by a sexy lamp and nothing would be different like you could with the heroines of other series. But she definitely feels like she has more here, like there's more fire to her. Like hot damn, even I want to see her become queen now!

...And then Subaru opens his mouth again...and promptly inserts his foot.

Yeah, I suppose Subaru white knighting for Emilia in front of all the actual white knights is probably one of the more infamous scenes of the series, huh? It's one of those weird things where you feel you know what Subaru should have done but at the same time, if he hadn't snuck into the castle, we wouldn't have gained his relationships with Priscilla and Al or have seen as much of the meeting as we did. It's good for the story and eventually it's good for character development but it's hard not to wince a little at everything Subaru does in this part, especially because he himself reflects and feels guilty at a few points about how badly he could have messed everything up for Emilia and Roswaal.

I've thought a lot more about Subaru's white knighting ever since I watched the anime, mostly because of characters like Motoyasu from Rising of the Shield Hero and Mitsurugi from Konosuba; two LN series I read before this one. Chivalry isn't a bad thing. Trying to stand up and fight for someone you care about isn't a bad thing. But like Emilia points out, she never asked Subaru to do any of that for her. She didn't want him to do any of that for her. In fact, he deliberately went against what she did ask of him to go and do all of that. With these three characters, the problem with their white knighting is that they're doing it with no regard to what the person they're white knighting for actually wants. In many cases, like Emilia also points out, Subaru wasn't really doing it for her. He was doing it for himself. To make himself feel better. To place himself closer to her. And she's not exactly wrong that their relationship seems to be entirely just two people repaying their debts to each other, even though she has no idea what debt Subaru feels he owes her.

The ironic thing is, if Subaru wanted to get closer to Emilia and have value to her, he already found a way to do that in one of his previous lives. On his second or third loop in the mansion arc, Puck told him that Emilia doesn't have a lot of experience with friends and really wants some. During that loop, Subaru and Emilia are just hanging out, enjoying each other's company, laughing. It's made clear she does genuinely like having him around. Just being her friend was enough for her and there's still plenty of ways her friend could have helped her through such a trying time, without embarrassing her in front of everyone in the castle or making her think it's her fault he keeps getting hurt.

I think Subaru's big problem, and what he needs to grow out of, isn't that he's an idiot (though he can certainly do dumb things) but rather that he's immature. Not immature like he's a child (though sometimes...) but immature in that he hasn't developed enough to properly react to certain situations. He was a shut-in who constantly skipped school. He doesn't have a lot of experience with other real people and doesn't know how to properly interact with them, defaulting too often to what he's seen in fantasy stories. I think that's a problem both he and Rem share to an extent. They don't know what it means to be in love. That's not to say that Subaru's love for Emilia isn't real or that Rem's love for Subaru isn't real. Rather that they don't know what to do with it. They don't know how they should act towards the person they're in love with or how to show their love, so too often they default to either obsession or devotion or both. And so if they want to have a healthy, happy relationship with the person they love, they have to acknowledge and address their own immaturity and basically grow up a bit.

Nice little detail that Julius beat on Subaru to keep any other knights from going after and possibly killing him...and because he was at least a little annoyed by Subaru's words. He's a good guy...but still human.

And again with Roswaal working things behind the scenes. He gave orders for Subaru (or at least a servant bearing his family crest like Subaru would be) to be allowed to pass into the castle. I imagine he did have a back-up plan for if Subaru never showed up but the man definitely knows or suspects something about Subaru and/or what's going on with him. I mean, benefit of the doubt, if he doesn't know about RBD, from the outside it does look like Subaru has some kind of prophetic abilities, as twice now he's known about future events that would have destroyed everything Roswaal's been working towards and used that knowledge to prevent them. Making things easier for Subaru to act just in case he had another "vision" would have been in Roswaal's best interest. He might be thinking Subaru is like the Holy Dragon, thus Roswaal has his own personal Dragon Tablet. But I can't help but feel things go deeper than that. At the very least I'm glad Subaru's outburst and Roswaal trying to smite him with fire was apparently part of the plan. 1, Roswaal is just a really fun character and I don't want to lose that, but 2, he definitely seems like a guy you don't want to have against you.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gontd5/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_4/