#julius is number 1 gremlin

[embubuu]

I just wanted to say... I get so happy whenever I see your FE4/FE5 posts, especially since I L O V E FE4, (and Julius shdhdshds) Keep up the good work!!

Aww!! ❤️🥺 Thank you so much anon!! I promise I will post more at soon~ I'm adjusting my hours at my day job soon which will give me more time to draw JUGDRAL!! 🙌

[citrucentric]

Mangosteen

Number one. They’re from southeast Asia, particularly Thailand. So outrageously divine in taste and mouth feel that they are reportedly known as the “Queen of Fruits”, which just makes me want a fruit dating sim more than I already did. Number two, they were banned in the United States up until 2007 out of fear that they’d contain fruit flies, and now they have to be yawn yawn yawn who gives a shit.

Okay. So here’s the thing. Everyone who’s talked to me about this fruit or written about it drones on and on about how good it tastes and how amazing it is. And, like, cool. Okay. But does that do anything for me if I can’t eat the thing? No. We have manufactured a scenario in which I am Queen Victoria desperately pleading my subjects to bring me this foreign delicacy and you all are sadly shaking your heads at me and going “That’s not going to happen, sorry. But man, you are hardcore missing out.”

So I’m executing you all.

If all I can do is look at it, then I’m going to god damn look. So let’s discuss. Does this look like the fruit of the gods, so devastatingly good it makes royals weep tears of yearning? No. It looks like a chunk of garlic shoved into a rotten plum. This is garlic. You are selling me garlic and telling me it’s ambrosia.

Is garlic good? You know it fucking is. But you know what it’s not? A fruit. So let’s see if we can get this roller coaster ride back on track. You know who loves garlic? Vampires. Right? Right. That’s why they’re all so edgy and depressed, because they too are Queen Victoria kept away from their single solace by virtue of the natural shelf life of a fruit and also deathly allergies.

I don’t think I talk nearly enough about vampires for how much I get paid (nothing). I know the whole Twilight craze made a lot of people sour on them for a while, but honestly go fuck yourselves if you think vampires aren’t still the hottest shit ever created. What, you’re telling me you don’t want a Victorian corpse man to corner you in a dark alley and talk about his existential angst at length before draining you of your life force and leaving you in a crumpled heap to resurrected again as a sexy immortal? You don’t even want to be a sexy immortal? God. Couldn’t be me.

There are a lot of good vampires. There are also a lot of stupid and annoying vampires. Honestly, it’d probably be more fun to talk about those, but my “top ten worst vampires of all time” list will have to wait because I’m already two images in and I could write three pages on my visceral hatred for Edward Cullen specifically. So here’s my top five.

1. Lestat de Lioncourt is unmistakably the sexiest fictional character of all time. Now, let’s not get this confused; this isn’t about any actor, be it Tom Cruise or whoever the fuck -- and it definitely isn’t about Stuart Townsend. Lestat as a character could make any actor attractive. It’s simply in his nature. I mean, he’s referred to as “The Brat Prince”. So straight out of the gate, anyone who knows me has suddenly figured out where I got the 45% of my personality they weren’t quite sure about. I am not ashamed. Moving on.

2. Damon Salvatore from Vampire Diaries. The books, not the show. Let’s avoid that topic. Damon is, regrettably, fantastic. For a stereotypical YA love triangle bad boy character, Damon’s personality is surprisingly well rounded. He’s a genuine bastard, but as the series goes on you realize there’s more good in him than he’s willing to admit, which is always an excellent setup. Also, daddy issues? In my vampires? It’s more likely than you think.

3. Now, I’m hesitant to put the same movie on this list twice and reveal just a little bit too much about my mental backdrop. But Claudia from Interview with the Vampire is just an altogether fantastically written character. She’s so compelling, tragic, and real. She’s the quintessential child vampire. You can’t write or talk about immortal babies without remembering her. Her problems really resonated with me as a child (though I personally would have been fine with staying young forever) and her death seriously affects me to this day. Really, she should be number one on this list. But she’s not, because I have problems.

4. Moving on to less high value vampire media. Is Blush Blush a good game? No. Is Stirling a good character? Maybe, if literally anyone else created him. But he is an ice skating vampire with a sparkly cape and tight pants, and I have a thing for scales.

5. Julius from Fire Emblem 4 Genealogy of the Holy War. Did you know Julius Fire Emblem is canonically a vampire? Well, for as 'canon' as a random novelization not even listed on the wiki is. I’m a little hesitant about this one cause the single piece of material containing this bizarre trait also sexualized him a lot more than I’m comfortable with considering his age (the proper amount would be zero, if you’re curious) but I just think it’s neat that the weird gremlin prince who’s 96% evil dragon also happens to eat people.

And that’s all the time we have for today. Don’t think I’ve forgotten what this article was about, of course. This smelly bulb of garlic needs a rating. And yet, I feel we are no closer to unlocking its secrets.

Vampires: 10/10 Mangosteen: 2/10 do better next time

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 4.1

33 – According to one historian's account, Jesus Christ's Last Supper is held. 286 – Emperor Diocletian elevates his general Maximian to co-emperor with the rank of Augustus and gives him control over the Western regions of the Roman Empire. 325 – Crown Prince Jin Chengdi, age four, succeeds his father Jin Mingdi as emperor of the Eastern Jin dynasty. 457 – Majorian is acclaimed emperor by the Roman army after defeating 900 Alemanni near Lake Maggiore (Italy). 527 – Byzantine Emperor Justin I names his nephew Justinian I as co-ruler and successor to the throne. 528 – The daughter of Emperor Xiaoming of Northern Wei was made the "Emperor" as a male heir of the late emperor by Empress Dowager Hu. Deposed and replaced by Yuan Zhao the next day, she was the first female monarch in the History of China, but is not widely recognised. 988 – Robert II of France is married to Rozala of Italy. The marriage is arranged by his father, King Hugh Capet. 1234 – Richard Marshal, 3rd Earl of Pembroke, is defeated by knights loyal to King Henry III of England in the Battle of the Curragh in Ireland. 1293 – Robert Winchelsey leaves England for Rome, to be consecrated as Archbishop of Canterbury. 1318 – Berwick-upon-Tweed is captured by Scotland from England. 1340 – Niels Ebbesen kills Gerhard III, Count of Holstein-Rendsburg in his bedroom, ending the 1332-1340 interregnum in Denmark. 1545 – Potosí, Bolivia, is founded after the discovery of huge silver deposits in the area. 1572 – In the Eighty Years' War, the Watergeuzen capture Brielle from the Seventeen Provinces, gaining the first foothold on land for what would become the Dutch Republic. 1625 – A combined Spanish and Portuguese fleet of 52 ships commences the recapture of Bahia from the Dutch during the Dutch–Portuguese War. 1789 – In New York City, the United States House of Representatives achieves its first quorum and elects Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first Speaker. 1826 – Samuel Morey received a patent for a compressionless "Gas or Vapor Engine". 1833 – The Convention of 1833, a political gathering of settlers in Mexican Texas to help draft a series of petitions to the Mexican government, begins in San Felipe de Austin. 1854 – Charles Dickens' novel Hard Times begins serialisation in his magazine Household Words. 1865 – American Civil War: Union troops led by Philip Sheridan decisively defeat Confederate troops led by George Pickett, cutting the Army of Northern Virginia's last supply line. 1867 – Singapore becomes a British crown colony. 1871 – The 3rd Duke of Buckingham opened the Brill Tramway, a short railway line to transport goods between his lands and the national rail network. 1873 – The White Star steamer RMS Atlantic sinks off Nova Scotia, killing 547 in one of the worst marine disasters of the 19th century. 1889 – The University of Northern Colorado was established, as the Colorado State Normal School. 1891 – The Wrigley Company is founded in Chicago, Illinois. 1893 – The rank of Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy is established. 1908 – The Territorial Force (renamed Territorial Army in 1920) is formed as a volunteer reserve component of the British Army. 1918 – The Royal Air Force is created by the merger of the Royal Flying Corps and the Royal Naval Air Service. 1924 – Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years imprisonment for his participation in the "Beer Hall Putsch" but spends only nine months in jail. 1924 – The Royal Canadian Air Force is formed. 1933 – The recently elected Nazis under Julius Streicher organize a one-day boycott of all Jewish-owned businesses in Germany, ushering in a series of anti-Semitic acts. 1933 – English cricketer Wally Hammond set a record for the highest individual Test innings of 336 not out, during a Test match against New Zealand. 1935 – India's central banking institution, The Reserve Bank of India, is formed. 1937 – Aden becomes a British crown colony. 1937 – The Royal New Zealand Air Force is formed as an independent service. 1937 – Spanish Civil War: Jaén, Spain is bombed by German fascist forces, supporting Francoist Nationalists. 1939 – Spanish Civil War: Generalísimo Francisco Franco of the Spanish State announces the end of the Spanish Civil War, when the last of the Republican forces surrender. 1941 – Fântâna Albă massacre: Between 200 and 2,000 Romanian civilians are killed by Soviet Border Troops. 1941 – A military coup in Iraq overthrows the regime of 'Abd al-Ilah and installs Rashid Ali al-Gaylani as Prime Minister. 1944 – Navigation errors lead to an accidental American bombing of the Swiss city of Schaffhausen. 1945 – World War II: The Tenth United States Army attacks the Thirty-Second Japanese Army on Okinawa. 1946 – The 8.6 Mw  Aleutian Islands earthquake shakes the Aleutian Islands with a maximum Mercalli intensity of VI (Strong). A destructive tsunami reaches the Hawaiian Islands resulting in dozens of deaths, mostly in Hilo, Hawaii. 1947 – The only mutiny in the history of the Royal New Zealand Navy begins. 1948 – Cold War: Communist forces respond to the introduction of the Deutsche Mark by attempting to force the western powers to withdraw from Berlin. 1948 – Faroe Islands gain autonomy from Denmark. 1949 – Chinese Civil War: The Chinese Communist Party holds unsuccessful peace talks with the Nationalist Party in Beijing, after three years of fighting. 1949 – The Government of Canada repeals Japanese-Canadian internment after seven years. 1954 – United States President Dwight D. Eisenhower authorizes the creation of the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado. 1955 – The EOKA rebellion against the British Empire begins in Cyprus, with the goal of unifying with Greece. 1960 – The TIROS-1 satellite transmits the first television picture from space. 1969 – The Hawker Siddeley Harrier, the first operational fighter aircraft with Vertical/Short Takeoff and Landing capabilities, enters service with the Royal Air Force. 1970 – President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law, requiring the Surgeon General's warnings on tobacco products and banning cigarette advertising on television and radio in the United States, effective 1 January 1971. 1970 – The first of over 670,000 AMC Gremlins are released into North America to compete with foreign imported cars. 1971 – Bangladesh Liberation War: The Pakistan Army massacre over 1,000 people in Keraniganj Upazila, Bangladesh. 1973 – Project Tiger, a tiger conservation project, is launched in the Jim Corbett National Park, India. 1974 – The Local Government Act 1972 of England and Wales comes into effect. 1976 – Apple Inc. is formed by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne in Cupertino, California, USA. 1978 – The Philippine College of Commerce, through a presidential decree, becomes the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. 1979 – Iran becomes an Islamic republic by a 99% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah. 1979 – Nickelodeon was launched in United States. 1986 – Communist Party of Nepal (Mashal) cadres attack a number of police stations in Kathmandu, seeking to incite a popular rebellion. 1989 – Margaret Thatcher's new local government tax, the Community Charge (commonly known as the "poll tax"), is introduced in Scotland. 1993 – Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority is founded in Los Angeles, California, USA. 1996 – The government of Nova Scotia amalgamated the City of Halifax and the over 200 communities around the area to create the Halifax Regional Municipality. 1997 – Comet Hale–Bopp is seen passing at perihelion. 1999 – Nunavut is established as a Canadian territory carved out of the eastern part of the Northwest Territories. 2001 – An EP-3E United States Navy surveillance aircraft collides with a Chinese People's Liberation Army Shenyang J-8 fighter jet. The Navy crew makes an emergency landing in Hainan, China and is detained. 2001 – Former President of Federal Republic of Yugoslavia Slobodan Milošević surrenders to police special forces, to be tried on war crimes charges. 2001 – Same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Netherlands, the first contemporary country to allow it. 2004 – Google announces Gmail to the public. 2006 – Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) of the Government of the United Kingdom is enforced, but later merged into National Crime Agency on 7 October 2013. 2011 – After protests against the burning of the Quran turn violent, a mob attacks a United Nations compound in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan, resulting in the deaths of thirteen people, including eight foreign workers. 2016 – Nagorno-Karabakh clashes: The Four Day War or April War begins along the Nagorno-Karabakh line of contact on April 1.

[brookstonalmanac]

Events 4.1

286 – Emperor Diocletian elevates his general Maximian to co-emperor with the rank of Augustus and gives him control over the Western regions of the Roman Empire. 325 – Crown Prince Jin Chengdi, age 4, succeeds his father Jin Mingdi as emperor of the Eastern Jin dynasty. 457 – Majorian is acclaimed emperor by the Roman army after defeating 900 Alemanni near Lake Maggiore (Italy). 527 – Byzantine Emperor Justin I names his nephew Justinian I as co-ruler and successor to the throne. 528 – The daughter of Emperor Xiaoming of Northern Wei was made the "Emperor" as a male heir of the late emperor by Empress Dowager Hu. Deposed and replaced by Yuan Zhao the next day, she was the first female monarch in the History of China, but is not widely recognised. 988 – Robert II of France is married to Rozala of Italy. The marriage is arranged by his father, King Hugh Capet. 1234 – Richard Marshal, 3rd Earl of Pembroke, was defeated by knights loyal to King Henry III of England in the Battle of the Curragh in Ireland. 1293 – Robert Winchelsey leaves England for Rome, to be consecrated as Archbishop of Canterbury. 1318 – Berwick-upon-Tweed is captured by Scotland from England. 1340 – Niels Ebbesen kills Gerhard III, Count of Holstein-Rendsburg in his bedroom, ending the 1332-1340 interregnum in Denmark. 1545 – Potosí, Bolivia, is founded after the discovery of huge silver deposits in the area. 1572 – In the Eighty Years' War, the Watergeuzen capture Brielle from the Seventeen Provinces, gaining the first foothold on land for what would become the Dutch Republic. 1625 – A combined Spanish and Portuguese fleet of 52 ships commences the recapture of Bahia from the Dutch during the Dutch–Portuguese War. 1789 – In New York City, the United States House of Representatives achieves its first quorum and elects Frederick Muhlenberg of Pennsylvania as its first Speaker. 1826 – Samuel Morey received a patent for a compressionless "Gas or Vapor Engine". 1833 – The Convention of 1833, a political gathering of settlers in Mexican Texas to help draft a series of petitions to the Mexican government, begins in San Felipe de Austin 1854 – Charles Dickens' novel Hard Times begins serialisation in his magazine Household Words. 1865 – American Civil War: Union troops led by Philip Sheridan decisively defeat Confederate troops led by George Pickett, cutting the Army of Northern Virginia's last supply line. 1867 – Singapore becomes a British crown colony. 1871 – The 3rd Duke of Buckingham opened the Brill Tramway, a short railway line to transport goods between his lands and the national rail network. 1873 – The White Star steamer RMS Atlantic sinks off Nova Scotia, killing 547 in one of the worst marine disasters of the 19th century. 1889 – The University of Northern Colorado was established, as the Colorado State Normal School. 1891 – The Wrigley Company is founded in Chicago, Illinois. 1893 – The rank of Chief Petty Officer in the United States Navy is established. 1908 – The Territorial Force (renamed Territorial Army in 1920) is formed as a volunteer reserve component of the British Army. 1918 – The Royal Air Force is created by the merger of the Royal Flying Corps and the Royal Naval Air Service. 1924 – Adolf Hitler is sentenced to five years imprisonment for his participation in the "Beer Hall Putsch" but spends only nine months in jail. 1924 – The Royal Canadian Air Force is formed. 1933 – The recently elected Nazis under Julius Streicher organize a one-day boycott of all Jewish-owned businesses in Germany, ushering in a series of anti-Semitic acts. 1933 – English cricketer Wally Hammond set a record for the highest individual Test innings of 336 not out, during a Test match against New Zealand. 1935 – India's central banking institution, The Reserve Bank of India is formed. 1937 – Aden becomes a British crown colony. 1937 – The Royal New Zealand Air Force is formed as an independent service. 1937 – Spanish Civil War: Jaén, Spain is bombed by German fascist forces, supporting Francoist Nationalists. 1939 – Spanish Civil War: Generalísimo Francisco Franco of the Spanish State announces the end of the Spanish Civil War, when the last of the Republican forces surrender. 1941 – Fântâna Albă massacre: Between 200 and 2,000 Romanian civilians are killed by Soviet Border Troops. 1941 – A military coup in Iraq overthrows the regime of 'Abd al-Ilah and installs Rashid Ali al-Gaylani as Prime Minister. 1944 – Navigation errors lead to an accidental American bombing of the Swiss city of Schaffhausen. 1945 – World War II: The Tenth United States Army attacks the Thirty-Second Japanese Army on Okinawa. 1946 – The 8.6 Mw  Aleutian Islands earthquake shakes the Aleutian Islands with a maximum Mercalli intensity of VI (Strong). A destructive tsunami reaches the Hawaiian Islands resulting in dozens of deaths, mostly in Hilo, Hawaii. 1947 – The only mutiny in the history of the Royal New Zealand Navy begins. 1948 – Cold War: Communist forces respond to the introduction of the Deutsche Mark by attempting to force the western powers to withdraw from Berlin. 1948 – Faroe Islands gain autonomy from Denmark. 1949 – Chinese Civil War: The Chinese Communist Party holds unsuccessful peace talks with the Nationalist Party in Beijing, after three years of fighting. 1949 – The Government of Canada repeals Japanese-Canadian internment after seven years. 1954 – United States President Dwight D. Eisenhower authorizes the creation of the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado. 1955 – The EOKA rebellion against the British Empire begins in Cyprus, with the goal of unifying with Greece. 1960 – The TIROS-1 satellite transmits the first television picture from space. 1969 – The Hawker Siddeley Harrier, the first operational fighter aircraft with Vertical/Short Takeoff and Landing capabilities, entered service with the Royal Air Force. 1970 – President Richard Nixon signs the Public Health Cigarette Smoking Act into law, requiring the Surgeon General's warnings on tobacco products and banning cigarette advertising on television and radio in the United States, effective 1 January 1971. 1970 – The first of over 670,000 AMC Gremlins were released into North America to compete with foreign imported cars. 1971 – Bangladesh Liberation War: The Pakistan Army massacre over 1,000 people in Keraniganj Upazila, Bangladesh. 1973 – Project Tiger, a tiger conservation project, is launched in the Jim Corbett National Park, India. 1974 – The Local Government Act 1972 of England and Wales comes into effect. 1976 – Apple Inc. is formed by Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and Ronald Wayne in Cupertino, California, USA. 1978 – The Philippine College of Commerce, through a presidential decree, becomes the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. 1979 – Iran becomes an Islamic republic by a 99% vote, officially overthrowing the Shah. 1986 – Communist Party of Nepal (Mashal) cadres attack a number of police stations in Kathmandu, seeking to incite a popular rebellion. 1989 – Margaret Thatcher's new local government tax, the Community Charge (commonly known as the "poll tax"), is introduced in Scotland. 1996 – The government of Nova Scotia amalgamated the City of Halifax and the over 200 communities around the area to create the Halifax Regional Municipality. 1997 – Comet Hale–Bopp is seen passing at perihelion. 1999 – Nunavut is established as a Canadian territory carved out of the eastern part of the Northwest Territories. 2001 – An EP-3E United States Navy surveillance aircraft collides with a Chinese People's Liberation Army Shenyang J-8 fighter jet. The Navy crew makes an emergency landing in Hainan, China and is detained. 2001 – Former President of Federal Republic of Yugoslavia Slobodan Milošević surrenders to police special forces, to be tried on war crimes charges. 2001 – Same-sex marriage becomes legal in the Netherlands, the first contemporary country to allow it. 2004 – Google announces Gmail to the public. 2006 – Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) of the Government of the United Kingdom is enforced, but later merged into National Crime Agency on 7 October 2013. 2011 – After protests against the burning of the Quran turn violent, a mob attacks a United Nations compound in Mazar-i-Sharif, Afghanistan, resulting in the deaths of thirteen people, including eight foreign workers. 2016 – Nagorno-Karabakh clashes: The Four Day War or April War, began along the Nagorno-Karabakh line of contact on April 1.