#julie unfortunately is on the same bullshit as frank

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Frank! fantasy flavor!

rambles:

i really wanted to blend that monk-class inspiration w/ Frank's personal vibe... i like to think that i Succeeded!

i turned his tie into a sort of brooch since, yk. bowties aren't all that Fantastical. they miss the style. also i think they'd be more comfortable with something smaller since he's very active and needs a wide range of maneuverability

i bet Eddie or someone wheedled them into adding the leather shoulder pauldrons - leather to keep it a bit more flexy, and also. it just looks Cool!

figuring out what would replace his vest was tough. i didn't want them to be entirely unprotected, but i couldn't give him straight armor. though i will admit! a sort of tight-fitting crop top was Considered! but i landed on a gambeson vest as the best fit - comfortable, flexible, a Vest, while providing some level of protection! also, gambesons are quilted, which fits Frank's diamond-checkered vest!

ive already mentioned that one of my favorite outfit things is Flowy Pants Tucked Into Boots, so... that choice wasn't very character driven. except the boots are a tall ankle wrap - for that extra stability and strength! their shoes are pretty flexible and are only a few steps away from being slippers.

and the half-skirt - open skirt? - thing (still don't know what its called) is purely some self indulgence. i think Frank looks great in skirts!! also imagining him Throwing Down w/ the added flair of the skirt... damn. it'd probably help confuse enemies too - what're they gonna do next? who knows! the skirt is in the way and adding extra Movement!

i like to think that his knife is either in a sheath attached to the back of the belt, or they have it on their thigh (under the skirt) like Wally's bag. he probably never uses it... punching is the way to go for Frank methinks. it's probably reserved for cutting ropes and fruit

speaking of punching.... wrist wraps! inspired by boxing gauze! pads his knuckles, keeps his wrist compressed, its the best choice for physical combat. though the wrapped knuckles probably always have blood showing through anyway... or no yeah it's mostly other people's blood...

as for scars - Frank probably has quite the collection! i imagine that they've been picking fights since a young age, and in such a dangerous world he probably got hit a Lot until they learned how to hit back. and hit back Well. still, i wanted to give him a cool face scar with a very lame backstory - a book with a crisp, sharp spine corner fell off a high shelf and bonked them in the face at juuuust the right angle <3 he probably stays very fucking quiet about it which makes everyone think there's some intense traumatic backstory behind it. there isn't. Frank's just embarrassed.

closing note: i imagine that Frank has zero magic. literally none. cannot wield it for shit cannot utilize it. he's just like Howdy fr

[weirdagnes]

💄RUDOLF’S DRAG RACE AU 🏁

ALRIGHT SO this AU originally started in our Yeah We Outlasting discord server, artists started drawing the characters in drag and I WOKE HMSHD real shit man. So I'm making a masterpost for drag au on behalf of the server✊✊

Outlast 1 = Season 1

Outlast 2 = Season 2

Whistleblower DLC = All Stars

All of the characters and ideas for the characters were written in collab with @gothivican, @panopt1c0n, @grahaam and the rest of the lads in the server, y’all have such beautiful brains. So anyways.

Here are the judges:

Rudolf Wernicke. Lowkey bias, literally goes to the backstage and tells Miles to beat Billy Hope in a lipsync because Billy can't continue on the show for some reason. Has favoritism towards Blaire, but was forced to sashay him away by the other two judges. Also this bitch is dying, literally has a breathing tank support behind his chair.

Pauline Glick. A very sharp critic. Wore the same shoes? Call out. Oh that's your signature makeup? UGLY tone it down. Sorry, the colors don't match, you'll be in the bottom two for that.

Paul Marion. The kindest judge. He will give constructive criticism in the nicest non-offensive way possible and compliment them after (because he would feel guilty about it).

Alice as guest star. Supportive as f u c k, huge fan, she cries when meeting the queens in Untucked. She can't help complimenting the queens every 10 seconds, she gives off the Leslie Jones’ enthusiasm.

Lisa Park as guest star. Like Alice, very supportive. She’s an artist, and will break down all the reasons why they are so good from an artist’s perspective. Crushes HARD on Wyssle Blower, she might’ve given her number after the show.

Lynn Langermann as guest star. She’s a judge, and she will judge. Gives out well constructed criticisms to all queens fair and square until she saw Angel Fromm (Blake) and just says “Wow what’s there to criticize?” Sallyzekiel hates her, Valentina and Angel on the other hand loves her very much.

 Here are the queens:

Miles Upshur as Kill-O-Meter. Primarily an insult comedy and rocker queen, and specializes in dancing. She tends to be criticized for a lack of glamour on some of her main stage looks, and is one of the most dramatic, sarcastic and shady queens of the bunch. Can and will stomp on you in latex boots for money. Besties with Wyssle and Chrisel, gets into a little heated talks with (occasionally) Peacock, (frequently) Ricky and Remy. She adores Cheets’ (Pyro) makeup skills. Winner of season 1 babey!!

Chris Walker as Piggy Chrisel. A punk/grunge queen who seems to specialize moreso in dancing and lip syncing. She's a shy, gentle giant, has a little trouble speaking coherently and it affects her in the acting/impromptu comedy challenges. She will call out whores though, she will kick ass when the situation calls for it. Really good at makeup, makeup girl-friends with Cheeto and besties with Kill O Meter (Latrila vibes). Also a perfectionist and hates mess on her work table.

Rick Trager as Ricky Trix. Whore, that's all. This bitch OBNOXIOUS and shady but she's both a glamour AND comedy queen, the other queens are watching out for her since day one. Horror and '80s inspired queen, extremely good at comedy and acting and will literally stomp the competition with nearly perfect impressions and extremely expressive acting. The downfall for her seems to be glam on the occasion and singing. Rivals with Kill O Meter and Miss Tini, kikis with Remy (they throw shade to other queens the moment they get em)

Father Martin as Miss Tini. The oldest queen but she can still serve the cakes. Generally a kind person, coming from a religious background. She’s takes the drag culture religiously. She gets along with The Twinks.

The Twins as The Twinks. Was recruited as two totally separate queens, but both quit on the first episode when one of the twins were to be eliminated. The queens tell the Twinks apart by who’s bald and who’s not. They don’t vibe with other queens except Miss Tini.

Pyromaniac as Cheeto de LaFlammeo. Queen of Makeup, she has some serious skill range on it. Good in the acting department, always plays as the tragic character. Was rivals with Kill-O Meter before, but one time when she had a breakdown, Kill-O Meter was by her side when no one was. After that, they respected each other.

Billy Hope as Billy Willy. CLOWN QUEEN, huge Crystal Methyd vibes. She’s the youngest queen, very energetic, a ball of SUNSHINE but Wernicke was a bias bitch and sent her home immediately the moment she was in the bottom. She was basically Kill-O Meter and Wyssle Blower's drag child. Hailed as Miss Congeniality, is voted by majority to return for a season 2 for going home a little too early than people feel was deserved. Best at makeup and outfits, her mom Tiffany taught her to sew and make dresses out of rags and other unconventional materials and the skill proved to be helpful. Also she likes puns and everyone likes playing with her name like: Silly Billy Willy, Witty Billy Willy, etc.

....

Waylon Park as Wyssle Blower. The Mom of the queens, the most well rounded queen, and the most 'fishy' one. Probably the smartest and most humble one out of everyone, she can read through people’s bullshit well. Genuinely looks like a girl in full drag, but always does her best on acting. She's serving you a cute, nerdy and quirky style, but can serve horror when need be. Always wins the mini challenges, she's not as loud as the other girls but she does beat Blaire in a lip sync (lowkey badass lipsyncer). Winner of All Stars babey

Jeremy Blaire as Remy Coco Ainée. Pretentious fake ass queen, even her drag name is just Cocaine in fake French. A pure fashion glamour queen, she serves it at almost all the fashion challenges but there's no more personality out of her other than that and her shady attitude (she will not hold back on the shade). Is extremely horrible at singing (her voice cracks) and acting, goes home against a lip sync with Wyssle. This bitch will FLEX her wins. Kikis with Ricky, mainly rivals with Kill O Meter, Wyssle and Peacock but she made everyone her rivals bc of her bitchass attitude.

Eddie Gluskin as Edna Taylor. Fashion queen, specializes in sewing, acting and singing, but is extremely lacking in the dancing department. Has a one-sided endearment for Waylon, and consistently tries to have her attention. Is extremely manipulative too, trying to consistently trip the other queens up. Also everybody hates her mohawk signature wig but nobody says anything about it because they don’t want to be victim to Edna’s mind games.

Frank Manera as Hanni Canni Bahl. Horror queen, best at comedy and dancing. Though it is prohibited, she’s able to sneak in weed, coke (for Ricky) and snacks in the werk room. Very messy when working, her discarded fabrics are EVERYWHERE and Chrisel is fighting the urge to clean it up. She eats while working when the camera’s off, and it stains the dress she’s working on (Pauline notices it).

Dennis as Denise. Mocked as “Edna’s little helper” as she always helps with her dresses. She’s trying too hard to impress Edna, and helps her get Wyssle’s attention. Very talented in acting and sewing, but bland in fashion, lacking in concept. Her inner conflict is what got her eliminated.

Simon Peacock as Julie Peacock. Rebellious, mischievous, and an ex-glam queen gone horror and campy instead. After being insulted much by glam queens (ahemRemyahem), she just embraced it and became a horror queen, serving the judges her horror aesthetic. Best at comedy, lacks extremely on acting and dancing though. No one is safe from her constructive criticism, and she will never stop ranting to Kill O Meter and Wyssle about Remy and Ricky being bad bitches and favored by Wernicke, she thinks it's unfair.

....

Blake Langermann as Angel Fromm. Singing queen!! Good at singing, but otherwise is moreso well-rounded, she might've been eliminated earlier, hadn't it been for her also low-key successful and iconic lip syncs. But the lucky winning streak didn't last forever, she goes home later in the season because she's slowly falling behind the other queens and can't keep up anymore. Has Rococo aesthetic, unfortunately the outfits can't make up for the lack of character as a queen. Though she needs a lot of improvement, the guest star Lynn adores her very much.

Val as Valentina. Queen of SEX or moreso impersonations and comedy. She’s a terrible tailor, but likes unconventional and simple fashion designs. She’s trans and lowkey Pauline has a crush on her the moment she walked on that stage. Pure rivals with Sallyzekiel, you know that iconic Aja vs. Valentina in Untucked? They had that moment. Probably goes home earlier, not entirely prepared, but still was a season icon. Definitely dropped it low about 10 times on her lip sync.

Marta as ImMartal. GOTH QUEEN, survived about early mid season. Best at her makeup and looks, glam queen, but the judges criticize her for wearing the same wigs/having the same hairstyle for almost every looks.

Nick Tremblay as Nicky Lanterns. Another gentle giant. Very introverted, she has a difficult time socializing with other girls because she’s generally not a very loud person. Really bad at makeup, her fashion sense is somewhat okay but it’s always on the ‘safe’ level. Pretty good at slapstick comedy, writing and concepts tho. It’s a wonder how Nicky and Lard Imp became “friends,” they’re complete opposites.

Laird Byron as Lard Imp. Whore, Exhibit B. Extremely rude, louder than Remy and Ricky themselves, and has a weird love/hate obsession with Angel for some reason. Everyone hates her, even Rudolf himself, and Lard Imp isn’t her original drag name but ultimately they came to a point where they just called her Lard Imp. Constantly denies the judges’ and the queens’ critiques, very delusional about winning the season and that’s why she’s the first one eliminated.

Sullivan Knoth as Sallyzekiel. The Big Bad Bitch of the season. Ultimate rivals with Valentina, constantly bullies Angel. Marta used to be friends with her, but after talking shit on Valentina, she says fuck you and defended Val. Glam queen, has an affinity for shoes but damn girl terrible makeup and padding. Really good with speech, acting and impromptu.

So far, here are the character designs we have made!

(1) Blake and Trager by @/pan0pt1con

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Waylon, Chris, Simon, Eddie, Miles and Jeremy by @/gothivican

(1) Billy, Miles, Chris, Wernicke, Pauline, Paul and Alice by @/weirdagnes

[cinaed]

Red vs Blue Season 2 Rewatch

Well I'd meant to do my season two rewatch Saturday but was sick most of the weekend. But now I'm feeling well enough to watch and enjoy! 

Aw, I forgot that the first scene of the season is Doc's introduction. 

Church being so done with Caboose and Tucker, and the combination of O'Malley and Caboose means that his threats involve giving Church a birthday present (sure it's Tucker's head, but you know). 

Just imagining Doc's expression as the Blues explain that Church is a ghost and now a ghost in a robot makes me laugh. Also another thing is that the Blues apparently have a Spanish-English dictionary, which somehow the Reds never bothered to get for years. Sorry, Lopez! 

I love that Church actually knows military lingo and it's Tucker and Caboose who are like "???" whenever he tries to be smart in earlier seasons. Also Tucker just being like "Nope, I like my blood on the inside."

God, I forgot that Church went "I can't pronounce Frank, we're calling you Doc." Like..Frank? At least protesting over DuFresne makes a little more sense! Church really does love to mess with people. Also Doc's speech about the differences between being a medic and a doctor remains iconic. "Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable.. while they die."

I also forgot that Church just straight shoots Caboose (and actually hit him!) so Doc will go over and help him. Stone cold. "I can't believe he shot me!" "Oh, don't even START Caboose!"

Also love that the Reds have staff meetings, which Grif presumably sleeps through. Though why they all even trusted Grif to carry ammo around, I just don't know. 

And the beginning of the iconic surrender exchanges. Cake, flags (wait no flags), Lopez. Doc turning into a fake hostage. "You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!" "We've already got that! What else do you have?"

I forgot that Doc immediately assesses the Red Team, realizes Grif is the least popular of the group, and immediately starts insulting him to curry favor. Speaking of stone cold, like dang, Doc. 

Another iconic scene is Church ragging on Tucker as he wiggles his switch. :D And of course Sarge's amazing code is "drive." He's definitely that guy whose password is Password1235. 

Fun parallels with Donut's "I'm so freaking lost" and Doc's "Help, this Jeep is kidnapping me!" 

Lopez is like a son to Sarge! Sarge loves him so much that he forgives him for turning against him and murdering him. Also Sarge thinking he can fight a machine gun. 

Tucker: "You hardly ever used your legs before anyway. I've never heard of a grown man asking for so many piggy-back rides." Church: "Hey, I already told you: that was for science." And thus canonical piggyback rides were established. 

Bold of Simmons to call someone else Poindexter. 

Everyone thinking Church is shy because he can't turn around. 

Grif using Doc's words against him, and thus a low-key dislike of each other was born. 

Poor Doc. Stuck wandering the wilderness aka the 60 feet or however much space there is between the bases. 

Simmons and Grif squabbling like an old married couple trying to tell the story about the Blues and Doc.

I am usually against love triangles, but the Lopez/Sheila and Sheila/Caboose is so good. 

Caboose having a good idea, except they didn't consider that Lopez would immediately escape.

Ah, the old days when Lopez actually believed in the Red Team. Also will always love "Primary objectives: 1. Fix everything. 2. Hate the orange one. 3. Call mom more often." Lopez calling Sarge father! And then his brutal disillusionment as the Reds almost kill him. 

Simmons loves that machine gun. 

Lopez/Sheila is such a good ship. Love their meet-cute. Of course then Tex steals his body. Also Sheila being into Lopez AND Tex. I'd forgotten about that. 

"Tucker, there's a very fine line between not listening and not caring. I like to think that I walk that line every day of my life." 

Love Tex just rolling with "Sure, I'm a ghost." And now we're finally into the O'Malley plot which is so much fun. 

Sarge's been wanting to get a cyborg on his team for this whole dang war. He's so happy when Simmons becomes a cyborg. Meanwhile Grif and Simmons are united in hating the idea. 

Tex telling embarrassing stories about Leonard's high school years. :D And the beginning of this very weird plan to rescue Caboose from O'Malley. And seeing the inside of people's heads. Or at least Caboose's head, which means a stupid Tucker and a Church who is even more foul-mouthed than Church himself plus he's Caboose's very best friend. Sarge the southern pirate. Donut the girl. Grif's yellow armor. 

Grif sounds almost impressed when he does the 1-2-3 count that he pulled on Simmons and realizes that Donut beat him at his own game. Unfortunately then he promptly gets run over by Sheila.

"Suck it, Blue!" 

I honestly love Lopez's love song to Sheila. He's such a romantic. 

Church is such a nerd. His insults are so bad. 

And the beginning of Doc and O'Malley's saga begins. Their juxtaposition is amazing. 

And the beginning of cyborg Simmons! I still love that even if Simmons instantly insults Grif, the fact remains that he went through surgery to save Grif's life. And he sounds genuinely worried when Grif starts coughing, right up until the point he figures out Grif is using his brand new replacement lungs to smoke. And Simmons trying to get Grif to eat healthy and stop smoking. Good luck with that, Simmons...

Simmons apparently likes to dance, if his fury over the assumed cancelled holiday party is any indication. That's a prompt for someone! 

Donut and Tucker are both the romantics of their team because Tucker thinks Sheila/Lopez is sweet, he just doesn't want to deal with love triangle bullshit.

Meanwhile Lopez and Sheila go on strike for machine rights and I for one support them wholeheartedly. 

Double O Donut! I love Donut and Grif's misadventures together. 

Tucker: "Sheila and Lopez are now considering leaving to form their own robot army. They said no one would dare oppose them." Church: "What?! Did you try to talk them out of it?" Tucker: "No way, I wouldn't dare oppose them!"

Poor Donut. He has no sense of direction. And poor Doc, stuck with O'Malley for company. 

Sarge talking about the entertainment value of being tortured. Sarge...what.... I'm not gonna kinkshame, but I'm definitely gonna think about kinkshaming Sarge. 

Donut and Caboose's truth or dare scene is so cute. They're such a fun dynamic. And I really wonder what Donut was gonna say about the Red Team plans until Church possesses him. And Church is immediately super chill in Donut's head, and wants to just relax and do some arts and crafts. And Donut considers Caboose his friend! And Caboose really likes Private Biscuit.

Church trying to bargain for two robots so he can have Tex back is sweet right in the middle of a ridiculous scene. And Donut being so excited for a sleepover with the Blues. 

I'm just saying, Sarge would make an excellent car salesman the way he's messing with the Blues over these robots. And Donut must be rubbing off on him, heh, because "I've been told my lube jobs are fantastic!" is definitely a Donut line.

Church using military lingo in one episode and then a handful later not understanding military time is such a Church thing.

Finally to the iconic Tucker line of Grif and Simmons. "It's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple. I've only been listening for like five minutes and I can already tell they're really in love. Why can't they see it?" And Church doesn't even bother to argue.

Tucker discovering Red vs Blue is a lie is still amazing. As in the ironic discussion, which I will always love. 

Donut's sarcasm when he realizes they're leaving him and Sheila behind to guard each base. Man versus tank. Should go well for him.

And set up for season three, which has some of my favorite team ups-- Sarge and Caboose, Grif and Church. That'll also be a fun rewatch. 

Time for the bonus features aka Outtakes, PSAs, and deleted scenes!

Honestly most of the PSAs this season weren't great, but the Fourth of July fireworks safety one did make me laugh. And it does have Donut with his Kiss the Cook apron!

Outtakes were okay, with the running theme of Burnie trying to explain adlibbing to everyone else, haha. Also "Great Caesar's Dressing!" is as catchy as "Great Caesar's Ghost!" And the outtake of Sarge being Hamlet. And Tarzan. And the Grif and Simmons audition tape was fun. 

Deleted scenes! Doc and Vic having some weird chemistry. Calling Doc hot and saying he missed him. And Doc complaining that no one likes him and that someone stole his wallet. Of course then Vic immediately gets mean. The others include Sarge and Grif prepping Simmons for cyborg surgery before Grif gets hurt and they actually go through with it, which mostly includes getting Simmons super drunk.  Sounds about right for Blood Gulch!

[moderate-brainrot]

legion lore is bullshit 😐

But first; some disclaimers

First of all, I literally love the entirety of legion so this is not even remotely hate, in fact it’s genuine care. They deserve so much better that it hurts my brain, and I’m going to complain about the lore until they fix it (which they never will so don’t bother waiting for me to stop).

Secondly, I’m a shitty interpreter. Although the story of DBD is left ambiguous and vague on purpose, there are still some set things that are supposed to be in place. I tend to take a humanistic approach, the same way I did with Lisa and Rin’s backstories, so this could sound like I’m sympathizing, or excusing. That’s not really my intention but also I’m probably biased, I make an effort not to be but! We all make mistakes. Small story details and choices of words tend to mean very little when I’m looking at the lore, so precedents that someone else may have identified might not even be considered important to me. I’m trying to piece together a coherent and interesting conclusion.

I also wanted to note that I will not consider “the legion is out of place!!!! they clash with the entire cast!!!!!” in this whole rant because? it’s stupid as FUCK, nobody complains about ghostface being in the game, and they (unfortunately) are very similar in terms of age group (Danny is implied to be pretty young, not as young Frank though). I think legion fits in alongside the other killers just fine. It really wouldn’t make sense if you only had traditional representations of “evils” anyway. These evils are supposed to come from every corner of the world, it would only make sense if one of the evils happened to be a band of delinquents.

Okay, here we go.

I think the legion is a good idea. A nice concept. I think their powers and perks were thought out and nicely intertwine with their personalities/characters.

HOWEVER,

the lore for them is so shoddily put together that all you really have to piece together an actual character is their appearance. That only really works to some degree. I feel like the players know who the legion are. You can feel what they stand for just by looking at them. They are cynical, unforgiving, and callous just like normal teenagers would be. Except these teenagers are deeply disturbed so they solve their problems with murder.

HOWEVER,

You get NONE of this from the lore. It’s an observation. That’s not exactly the best thing. Your killer shouldn’t have to be explained, but when the lore is left with so many loose ends, you’re asking a lot from the player. There is very little to go off of.

The lore, essentially, is this:

Frequently moved around foster kid, Frank, is looking for an escape from his newest family since the new town is so unbearably boring. He tries to get out by finding another adoptive family but he meets Julie, who is also looking for a way out of the bland town. Frank goes to the parties Julie hosts and meets Joey and Susie (who were SUCH afterthoughts that they don’t even have fucking last names). They start hanging out in this abandoned place, and for whatever reason, Frank suddenly wants to do crime and have his new crew trained into soemthing.... “”powerful””???? They become neighborhood bullies and do delinquent shit.💡 Joey gets fired from his job and Frank says that they should all go vandalize the shit out of it.💡 They go to vandalize it but some janitor guy happens to be there and he grabs Julie, she cries out for help and Frank stabs the janitor in the back because of his.:.. “”dark impulses””...ok.💡 Then Frank says “okay now you guys have to kill him” and Joey stabs the guy in the ribs, Susie however refuses and Julie does it for her until Susie actually has to stab him but Frank moves her hands for her.💡They go to mount ormond (hey) to dispose of the body💡 and They’re digging the janitor’s grave when Frank sees some weird shit in the woods and goes to it and then doesn’t come back.💡 The rest of the legion follow his footprints before they even bury the body which leads to thick fog™️ and now they are killers in the realm.

The lightbulbs are for notes I made while reading the tomes.

💡(1). The legion start off by doing the most juvenile shit. Graffiti, yelling at neighborhood children, and stealing. They don’t sound like deeply evil entities, they sound like pathetic teenage swine, bullies. They’re supposed to be oppressive and unforgiving, but they are too passive to be taken seriously. They should have made it so they were never really killing people but just stabbing people, lots of them. That’s a lot more violent/evil than petty crimes.

💡(2). Frank’s first thought when Joey gets fired is to dare Joey to GRAFFITI HIS FORMER PLACE OF WORK???? NOT KILL HIS BOSS? NOT BURN THE SHOP DOWN? JUST SPRAY PAINT??? You would think that his mind, apparently attractive enough to the entity, would go to darker places than vandalism.

💡(3). Only Frank had these “”dark impulses™️””, so Why are there even four legions instead of just fucking one. He literally had to guilt everyone else to stab the man. He is completely alone in experiencing this impulse.

💡(4). What happened to “It came to a point where they would do anything he asked. Nothing was off-limits when they put their masks on.” ?? Susie downright refused to stab the man the first time she was handed the knife. It was only when Frank guided her hands that she “did it” (which she didn’t because it was Frank controlling the blade). Sure, Frank is manipulative, but the lore can’t decide if he’s good at it or not. The legion seems less like a group and more like a cult with Frank at the forefront. It’s very contradictory.

💡(5). The legion are chaos fiends. That’s their whole thing. Burying the body creates zero chaos or worry anywhere. The dude was a janitor, if you bury him there’s a good chance that nobody will notice which defeats the entire point.

💡(6). Frank goes in first. I really think that’s where it should’ve ended. I think it would make him more evil. He would’ve abandoned his ragtag “troops” to selfishly escape the possible consequences of murder after he made them reliant on him. But since they follow after him, it seems more like they found him rather than he abandoned them.

I think the legion is seen as a group of muderous juveniles who were so bored of their town that they decided to cause as much chaos as possible to make it less unbearable. That’s pretty evil. Way more evil than killing one dude impulsively and bullying kids less than half their ages. It would make sense with their power, why it’s not so focused on killing, but on the bigger picture, spreading fear and pain across a wide scale. This also ties in with their mori. It’s very quick, boring, and underwhelming. This could be because the legion don’t care for killing people that much, they want action, drama, and chaos. Depending on the strategy, you leave the survivors with deep wounds that take time and effort to patch up, when they can do easily be slashed down again, it’s pretty despairing, empty of hope. It’s also a little charming I think it adds to their overall immaturity, moving on looking for more survivors to hit rather than viciously hound your prey and finish them off.

THAT BEING SAID,

The legion’s power makes no sense when it’s not on Frank. In the lore, Frank is the only one who showed any remote desire to kill, but even then it was presented as an impulse, a reflex even. So Why in the fresh HELL would Susie have this power? She didn’t want to kill anybody . Julie and Joey as well. Julie probably only felt guilty and indebted to Frank for saving her, and Joey was literally presented as the guy who likes to show off. Of course he’s not going to be openly reluctant, it would shatter his persona. I really think they got too carried away with the ritualistics surrounding the murder that they forgot character values are a thing. Sure the fact that they all stabbed him is symbolic but their reactions do not match up with the mechanics. They could’ve done so much more with the characters and mechanics if EVERY LEGION HAD THESE “”DARK IMPULSES™️””

They’re given to us in-game as delinquents. So I think they should ALL be punkish dammit!!!!

That’s the end of my rant;

for now.

will probably elaborate some more later but I haven’t slept yet and it’s time for school so ..

囧rz.. anyways

legion love club:

idc if frank is a manipulator he can come manipulate this dick

[trashyslashers]

Frank, Hillbilly, Billy Loomis, Stu, and Evan with a cheating S/O?

:^)

This was very fun to write and it actually helped me get out some of the n e g a t i v e feelings I’ve had sitting in me for awhile so thank you anon

Also please note that I don’t necessarily see the characters that I chose for the s/o to cheat with as people that’d willingly help someone cheat, I just chose them for the sake of making writing this more detailed.

this came out very long so readmore

———————————————————————————————————–

Billy Loomis:

Billy just kinda… laughs about it at first. Laughs in disbelief, laughs because he doesn’t want to believe that you’d cheat on him so openly.

He won’t let you know that he knows; he’ll play it cool, pretend like he didn’t see anything, like he doesn’t know anything. He’ll still greet you with that same smile, that same kiss on the lips that he always does. He won’t let you have the satisfaction of knowing that he’s aware of and is hurt by your unfaithfulness.

Instead, Billy amps up his game. He makes you think he’s more in love with you than he’s ever been before - you two will probably take it to home base, if you get what I mean, if you haven’t already. Don’t be fooled, though - Billy isn’t very forgiving and isn’t one to overlook something like being cheated on.

You’ll get taunting phone calls from a total “stranger”; ones threatening to share your little secret with your poor, unaware boyfriend Billy. Of course, though - it’s not a stranger making these calls, it’s Billy - and he gets a kick out of how you scramble to make excuses, throw empty threats about how you’ll make them regret telling him, and so on. He almost breaks his cover with his chuckles.

You end up on that list of people Billy wants to take out once the spree of murders begins, but you’re last on it. He’s gonna have some fun with this - it’s the absolute least you owe him after what you did to him.

He’ll act how he did with Sidney in the movies, keeping up the facade of a loving, protective boyfriend - but in reality, he cannot wait to see the look on your face once you realize that he’s been aware of your cheating all along, nor can he wait to see the look on your face once he finally gets his revenge and makes you feel the pain he felt when he saw you with that other guy - only physically, instead of emotionally. 

In the chance that you figured out beforehand that he knew about your cheating, then he’d drop the whole facade. You’re welcome to sit there and argue with him - argue about why you did it, how you felt, how sorry you were, how sorry you weren’t, whatever - but Billy isn’t really going to listen, though. He’s already made up his mind about both you and the relationship, and nothing can convince him to change his mind.

In the chance that you try to apologize, or ask for forgiveness, or ask for another chance, Billy’s not going to hear it. You’d already proven your genuine feelings for him and the relationship by cheating - so he wasn’t about to stand there and let you try to lie to him about how sorry you were.

Stu Macher:

“You’re really gonna do that to me?” 

Dude’s heartbroken. He may always act as the goof of the group, but he’s got a lot of feelings deep down. Feelings that are easily hurt. 

You’d been there for him after Casey dumped him, you’d been by his side for a long time and your kindness was what initially got him so into you. He’d thought you were the sweetest, cutest thing - yet there you were, hand in hand with some guy he didn’t even know the name of, after canceling the date you two had planned for that night.

Stu kinda refuses to even believe that you’d cheat on him for awhile. Surely it was just a huge misunderstanding - there’s no way you’d do something like that to him! 

But when you fail to even look him in the eye as you mutter an insincere “Sorry”, Stu realizes that it’s real and that it’s serious. You really did cheat on him - and you didn’t seem genuinely remorseful in the slightest. 

Stu’s said it himself before; he’s way too sensitive. He’ll shut himself away for awhile, isolating himself from his friends and his usual activities. Stu’s a pretty social, extroverted guy so his sudden self isolation speaks volumes on how he’s really feeling.

I definitely don’t see him as unstable or keen on revenge as Billy is, but that doesn’t mean he’s very forgiving about this sort of thing, either. He’ll listen to you if you apologize and swear you won’t do it again - but he won’t do it again, either. He won’t put himself through another relationship with you again, even though you swear the cheating won’t happen again.

He’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that he did something wrong that drove you away, instead of assuming you cheated because you were just that kind of person. Most of his time spent alone is spent wracking his brain for anything he might’ve done wrong. 

You’d probably end up like Casey though if we’re being honest, especially if Billy heard about what happened and got to him. He still loved you, yes - but the anger and feelings of guilt combined with the peer pressure from Billy became too much to just brush off and ignore. 

Frank Morrison | The Legion:

“Oh, so - am I interrupting something?” 

He just storms out of the room, area, spot, wherever it was happening. He can’t even think straight.

Frank’s completely numb to it, initially. He almost can’t actually believe that you’d cheat on him - it seriously feels like it was a dream for a good day or two.

But soon, reality hits him right in the gut and he’s fucking furious about the situation.

Joey? Joey? Of all fucking people, it had to be Joey? He can’t get the image of you, sitting on Joey’s lap with your arms and legs all tangled around him, out of his head. He knew you two were close, yeah, but not that close. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Joey was his friend, he thought he could trust him - he thought he could trust you! But the two of you went behind his back and proved him disgustingly wrong.

The fight between him and Joey is loud, ugly, and unless one of the other girls is there to step in, physical. Lots of name calling, yelling, insults - but Frank can’t find it in himself to direct any of it towards you, as much as he wants to. Every time he turns to say something to you, the look on your face - one a mix of shame, anger, regret, and annoyance - makes his voice get caught in his throat. 

He’s got no clue what on earth he feels towards you. Anger? Hatred? Regret? Sadness? Love, still? All of the above? His head’s pounding from the swirl of emotions, and he can’t think clearly. Regardless of if you’re in the Entity’s realm or the real world, he’ll disappear for a few days. He won’t be in trials, and none of the other Legion members will see him or even know where he went. 

I can definitely see him as the kind of guy that after a bad breakup would have a ton of rebound hookups (is that the term? lmfao), and he’ll probably even try to make you jealous. Even though he knows, deep down, that you probably don’t give a shit that he’s back with Julie or that he’s with someone entirely new, he’ll secretly hope that you’ll get mad or jealous about it. 

Doesn’t trust you anymore, barely trusts Joey anymore. You’re no longer welcome to hang out with them. Frank almost acts as if you were never even there to begin with - he won’t want to talk about you, think about you, hear about you - none of it. He’ll pretend that the cheating, that the relationship, that you, never happened.

Max Thompson Jr | The Hillbilly:

Max doesn’t understand what’s going on at first. 

He’s felt insecure in the relationship since it’s started - he always worried that you’d come to your senses and realize how disgusting he was - but you’d always reassured him that you loved him. You’d tell him, day in and day out, that he had no reason to worry; you had no eyes for any other men, you only had eyes for him - and he believed you.

So why were you standing there, with your arms around that other guy? Max didn’t know his name - he was another Survivor - but he was what Max thought the ideal man probably looked like. Strong, tall, handsome. Everything that he wasn’t. 

He’s more confused than anything when he sees you pull the other guy’s head down to your own so you could give him a quick kiss on the lips before going your separate ways - you had no idea he was there, did you? The trial had only just begun, you two really needed to be more careful. 

It takes him a good few minutes to realize that you were doing with that guy what you swore you’d only do with him. You said you kissed him because you loved him - yet you just kissed that other guy! Did that mean you loved him too?! You couldn’t! You said you loved only him! Did you lie to him?

That’s when Max gets mad; it’s an anger he hadn’t felt since the day he first came face to face with his parents - but this anger isn’t at you. It’s towards himself, towards that guy you were with, towards the others. 

Maybe if he killed them all and let you go, you’d forgive him! Surely he did something wrong to make you go and love another guy, so he needed to fix it right away - and you always told him how good he was at fixing things.

Max is, unfortunately, the kind of person that’s incredibly naive about these things. Your lies and bullshit promises of “It won’t happen again”, “It was a mistake”, “He just made me feel really special”, convince him. Your lies keep coming and he keeps believing them, even after catching you with that guy again, and again, and again. You don’t even touch Max that much anymore. 

It rips him apart. What did he do to make you not love him anymore? Was that other guy really so much nicer to you that you decided to love him more, instead? Max will cry about it whenever you’re not around - or at least, those awkward, dry, croaky hiccups that are his way of crying. He doesn’t know what he did wrong. He can’t figure it out. Maybe this was one thing he couldn’t fix.

Evan MacMillan | The Trapper:

Why?

The first question that comes to Evan’s mind is why? Had he really made you so unhappy that you needed to seek love somewhere else? What had he done? 

Evan’s loyal, absolutely no doubt about it - so he can’t even fathom the idea of why on earth someone would cheat - especially someone as innocent and kind as he initially perceived you to be.

You’d really be surprised at how reasonable and calm Evan can be, especially in situations like this where most people would blow up at their significant others. A solemn “I see.” followed by him leaving the area of the woods where you and Danny were all over each other, returning back to his Estate is the only response you get.

Evan sits in silence for a long time, going so far as to even ignore the call of the Killer’s campfire for a short while. He can’t stop mulling over the scene; the sounds of your soft laughter as you sat on Danny’s lap, his mask pulled up just enough to let him press his lips to your neck. If he even bothered to sleep, he’d have nightmares about it, no doubt.

Evan’s not mad, no - he’s a strange mix of sadness, confusion, and frustration. How long had this been going on for? What had he done to drive you into the arms of another man? Were you ever going to tell him and break up with him, or were you just going to keep up the double-relationships for as long as you could?

He’d need to see some serious, genuine changes in yourself before he’d even consider entering a relationship with you again. He still loved you, loved you more than anything, but he cannot get himself to forgive you that easily. 

While he won’t go out of his way to target you in trials or anything, he still can’t bring himself to really look at you for to long. He’s much swifter with his delivery of you to the hooks, that is if he even gets you. It really says something when Evan neglects his work as a Killer; the fact that sometimes he won’t even bother going after you speaks volumes about how he’s feeling. Even just looking at you is entirely too painful for him, so a lot of the time he completely ignores you and you get free escapes, much to the displeasure of both the other Survivors and the Entity.

Evan cries. He cries for the first time in God knows how long - the last time he’d cried was back when things with his father were getting rough. He’s not at all the kind of man that’s cry easily, but occasionally while he sits at his Estate in between trials and his mind wanders to you and your betrayal and the ruins of your relationship, he’ll tear up. 

[bells-of-black-sunday]

⏳ Julie

the past | accepting

“I’ve always been really into true crime, I guess it started when I seen Ted Bundy on the news when I was ten or eleven. It just spun into a fascination with the dark and the macabre, I’d go to the library and have then copy news papers for me and try and get access to the victim studies that were publicly available. At least back then, I wouldn’t care about breaking into an evidence locker now, but back then I had it beat into me that you shouldn’t do anything bad or your going to hell.

I sort of became obsessed with it, the spectacle of it all. Don’t get me wrong, I felt bad for the victims families, but I had a whole notebook with a scoreboard of sorts hidden under my bed. My parents just thought it was a mild fascination, something to keep me occupied and not doing the things I was already doing like drugs and drinking. In highschool, I came up with the whole marauders of mayhem thing taking inspiration form various gangs that I had seen make the news, their shit had to be big to make it to shitty little Ormond. Susie and Joey told me no, it’s not worth it and all that. Hindsight, yeah they were probably right, but then...

Then I met Frank and he was my spiritual twin, we both loved the same shit, he was just a bit more pessimistic. He encouraged my idea, it was just petty crimes and arson after all, nothing ground breaking. Frank did most of the violent crimes, though can’t say I ever seen him get arrested in Ormond at least, he has a criminal record, but Ormond was different. Small town, small police force, no one wants to drive nine hours to take a sixteen year old to a correctional center over a fight in a parking lot. 

My obsession with serial killers eventually spiraled into ‘I want to kill someone, I want to know what that feels like’ and I had planned to kill my parents when I asked Frank if he thought he could kill someone. He said no and I bullshitted and said I didn’t think I could either and unfortunately that dream died there. But now I’m killing people over and over for eternity, can’t really complain can I?”

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1966

Under the cut.

Simon And Garfunkel – “The Sound Of Silence” -- January 1, 1966

This song is beautiful and thoughtful and I love it. People apparently talk about its naivete, but it's more a sermon than a political tract. And, above all, it is gorgeous and interesting music.

The Beatles – “We Can Work It Out” -- January 8, 1966

You'd have a better chance of working it out if you weren't blaming the whole fight on the other person, Paul. But that's so often the case. Thinking you're the only one trying, when the other person is trying just as hard, and you're talking past each other. I really like John's interlude, which also makes me think he's the one fighting with Paul. It happened plenty. This isn't a top tier Beatles song, but it's good.

Petula Clark – “My Love” -- February 5, 1966

Her love is greater than any other great thing in all of the entire universe, apparently. Sunshine? Oceans? Stars? Nothing compared to how great she is at love. Petula Clark could always sing, but by the time the chorus comes around the second time, she sounds sort of embarrassed. She doesn't hit the notes with her normal confidence. It is a thoroughly embarrassing song.

Lou Christie – “Lightnin’ Strikes” -- February 19, 1966

Well I'm creeped out. This belongs a few years back, if it had to exist at all. It starts with "You're old enough to know the makings of a man" -- just how young is she? Young enough not to smack him with a brick when he tells her he just can't help but cheat on her since that's what men do, but she needs to stick around waiting for him and not do the same. If she does, he promises he'll marry her... eventually. Plus falsetto. I hate this song.

Nancy Sinatra – “These Boots Were Made For Walkin'” -- February 26, 1966

And this song is a good answer to it. Lyrically, it's the pinnacle of what a country song can do. "You keep thinking that you'll never get burned/ Ha!/ I just found me a brand new box of matches/ And what he knows you ain't had time to learn." The narrator's cheating scumbag whom she's in the process of dumping is so low, she's not even bothering to get angry with him. She's got a new, far hotter guy anyway. Musically, the instruments are themselves a Greek chorus making fun of the guy and heralding the singer's triumph. Love love love it.

Staff Sgt. Barry Sadler – “The Ballad Of The Green Berets” -- March 5, 1966

More machismo, but of the lawful rather than chaotic variety this time. This must have made a lot of people very angry at the time, but it also must have felt triumphant to a lot of others. "Fearless men who jump and die" -- that's not good! It's The Old Lie! A man dies because apparently that's just what Green Berets do, and his last request is that his son be a Green Beret too. For what? The song doesn't even say what they're fighting for! There's a line about dying for those oppressed, the same bullshit we've been fed for so long, but absolutely no details. Because it's a death cult. Oh, and the song is musically terrible too. This is horrific.

The Righteous Brothers – “(You’re My) Soul And Inspiration” -- April 9, 1966

It's another heartbreak song from The Righteous Brothers. She wants to leave, but she's his "soul and inspiration." I would like it better if it weren't a heartbreak song. It doesn't have to be. The chorus would go perfectly well with a song about how happy they are together. Meh.

The Young Rascals – “Good Lovin'” -- April 30, 1966

He says his doctor has prescribed "good lovin'". He's got the fever, you've got the cure. This could easily be creepy. It's not, because it's so fun. It's a seduction song where the seducer is trying to make his target laugh, which is the right tactic if you're light about it. Fun, good song.

The Mamas And The Papas – “Monday, Monday” -- May 7, 1966

John Philips was one of the worst people in pop music, and that's saying something. The Mamas and the Papas were a good group musically, though. This song is about how Mondays typically suck, but the narrator is happy because this Monday morning, his girlfriend is still here. And then Monday evening, she's left. He doesn't sound too upset. I find this song repetitive and boring.

Percy Sledge – “When A Man Loves A Woman” -- May 28, 1966

I don't like this song. Sledge's version is obviously better than Michael Bolton's, but the problem is the lyrics. The song doesn't say so directly, but the implication is that a man should never fall in love with a woman because she'll bring him nothing but pain. Nope.

The Rolling Stones – “Paint It Black” -- June 11, 1966

The song is about depression, specifically the depression coming from the sudden death of one's romantic partner. Which makes it a love song, in a way. It's rock, and it goes hard, and it's more achingly sad than thousands of schmaltzy songs about the same thing. It makes me cry every time. Amazing, heartbreaking song.

The Beatles – “Paperback Writer” -- June 25, 1966

This became a #1? It's mean and petty. Someone who has made it as thoroughly as it is possible to make it should not be scoffing at the little people trying to claw their way up. Musically it even sounds kinda half-assed, for the Beatles. Very much a lesser Beatles song.

Frank Sinatra – “Strangers In The Night” -- July 2, 1966

He and some woman were strangers in the night, but fell in love at first sight and became lovers, and are still together. I love the song. Sinatra was getting older, and that comes through -- his voice doesn't have the modulation and delicacy it did when he was younger. At the same time, that age gives the song a lot of heft and truth. "And ever since that night/ We've been together/ Lovers at first sight/ In love forever/ It turned out so right."

Tommy James And The Shondells – “Hanky Panky” -- July 16, 1966

His girlfriend fucks. And he shouts this fact to us over and over and over and over and... okay, look. I understand being thrilled with your first relationship in which you get sex. A lot of sex. A looooot of sex. But it's generally much more interesting to the people doing it than the people being told about it. Dull.

The Troggs – “Wild Thing” -- July 30, 1966

I don't understand anyone who doesn't start dancing, even just in their chair, when this song comes on. It's a rocking love n'sex jam with an ocarina in it. There is nothing not to love.

The Lovin’ Spoonful – “Summer In The City” -- August 13, 1966

This song comes down to: It's hot in the city during the day, but cooler at night, plus you can pick up chicks at night. The lyrics are a big nothing, but the music is great. Somehow the song got associated with the various protest movements happening at the time. Is that gonna happen with W.A.P.?

Donovan – “Sunshine Superman” -- September 3, 1966

It just occurred to me that R.E.M. may have been inspired to write "Superman" by this song. It's the same basic premise, except that unlike R.E.M., Donovan doesn't realize he's being egotistical to the point of being scary by saying he will use every trick in the book to get this girl. Well okay, "Donovan" and "scary" are tough to put in the same sentence. The song is musically great. Think about the lyrics for a minute, and they're disturbing. I don't really know what to do with this.

The Supremes – “You Can’t Hurry Love” -- September 10, 1966

"Love don't come easy/ It's a game of give and take." Yep. And if you do try to hurry it, you're likely to end up with one of the jerks from the first few Supremes hits. Normally I would say to avoid getting advice from pop songs, but I'll make an exception for "You Can't Hurry Love." This is a welcome evolution, and an excellent song.

The Association – “Cherish” -- September 24, 1966

Glurge. Such glurge, I thought this was a 70s song before now. I actually cannot listen to the whole song. The music hurts me somehow. So I read the lyrics to see what they are, and blurgh. It's about how he can't figure out how to say he wants her and none of the other guys really care for her and that's it I'm done. Atrociously bad.

The Four Tops – “Reach Out I’ll Be There” -- October 15, 1966

A phenomenal song. You need a hand to hold. Yes, you. And The Four Tops will be there for you. Huge numbers of pop songs -- a plurality, at least -- are sung to "you." But this one feels like it really is. Levi Stubbs is going to be there for you. And this song has been there for me throughout my life.

? And The Mysterians – “96 Tears” -- October 29, 1966

So, this guy renamed himself ?. I would expect a song that involved someone named ? to be much odder. Maybe it was at the time, though the organ sounds mostly like Baby Elephant Walk (though not as good.) ? speak-sings that he's gonna get the person who dumped him back, and then he's going to dump them, and they'll cry 96 tears. That is odd, admittedly. Why 96? That doesn't sound like very many. One good cry would probably do it. The organ is the most interesting thing about the song, which is sadly not nearly weird enough for the band's name.

The Monkees – “Last Train To Clarksville” -- November 5, 1966

One of my friends was a huge Monkees fan when we were teenagers. She was born in 1977. The Monkees were on Nick at Nite (I think), so I did see a few episodes. She watched them religiously. She insisted their music was great, and I was like... really? Sadly, I was snobbish about it, and entirely because the show was so doofy. Their music really was pretty damn good. Though this song sounds like the younger brothers of The Beatles trying to copy them. Still, they did a pretty good job of it.

Johnny Rivers – “Poor Side Of Town” -- November 12, 1966

The narrator's girl left him to be with a rich guy. The rich guy discarded her, so now she's back on the poor side of town. The narrator rubs it into her face for a verse and a half, but then he says that to him she's "the greatest thing", and he doesn't blame her for trying. By the end of the song, he says he and the girl will be able to make it together. The lyrics are good. Unfortunately, the music and singing are dull. Someone should take these lyrics and make a much better song out of them.

The Supremes – “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” -- November 19, 1966

For once, Diana Ross gets to be appropriately angry at a jerk. By the end of the song, she's commanding him to get out of her life. I have been where she is in this song, and it ties you up in knots. It deserves more of a full opera than a high-energy dance song. But this song is still great.

The New Vaudeville Band – “Winchester Cathedral” -- December 3, 1966

This is a British music hall song. Whether you like it will depend on whether you like that very singular genre. I do, in small doses. If it had been a #1 hit at any time when I was listening to radio, I'd have hated it. I can only identify "Winchester Cathedral" out of the lyrics, and the rest don't matter anyway. The song is fun and annoying in equal measure, and hearing it once every five years or so sounds about right.

The Beach Boys – “Good Vibrations” -- December 10, 1966

This is my favorite Beach Boys song. Musically, it's astonishing. It's the song that persuaded me of the "Brian Wilson is a genius" stuff I kept hearing. It also has much better lyrics than most Beach Boys songs, as they are like the lyrics of a typical pop song. Except with a lot more "om bop bop" and the word "excitations." It sounds like it's going to have a slow, soft fade-out, and then the main chorus comes roaring back. One of the great pop songs.

The Monkees – “I’m A Believer” -- December 31, 1966

I think this is the best Monkees song. He didn't believe in love, then he "saw her face", now he's a believer. Has he even talked to her? Doubtful. That's okay, it's not meant to be anything but a cheery pop song. The beginning guitar does sound sort of like George Harrison, but the rest of the song is a bit more distant from the Beatles than "Last Train to Clarksville." They sound like a confident, real pop group, though they weren't allowed to play the instruments on it, which most of them were not happy about. They still ended up participating in a memorable song.

BEST OF 1966: This one is hard. I was tempted to make it a tie between about a half dozen songs. I think I have to give it to "Paint it Black" though. Maybe. Then again, "I'll Be There" is a heartlifting titan. And "You Can't Hurry Love" is timeless and something more people need to hear. And "Good Vibrations" is a musical triumph. Then there's "The Sound of Silence." And... discuss amongst yourselves. WORST OF 1966: No question. "Ballad of the Green Berets." Nothing in any year is worse.

[flauntpage]

Some Thoughts on Whatever the Hell NBC Sports Philly is Doing

After Jess Camerato revealed on Twitter last week that she wasn’t returning to NBC Sports Philadelphia, I tried to list, off the top of my head, some of the departures and changes the network has presided over in the last two years:

Molly Sullivan out

Marshall Harris out

Jess Camerato out

Dei Lynam out

Neil Hartman out

Ron Burke out

Andy Schwartz out (longtime web guy)

production/creative services layoffs

new web policy restricting stories to 500 word max

I obviously missed a lot of stuff, which y’all helped remind me of:

Leslie Gudel out

Breakfast on Broad eventually cancelled, Sarah Baicker and Jillian Mele move on, Rob Ellis comes back in a different role after leaving 97.5 the Fanatic

Reuben Frank taken off Quick Slants

Tim Panaccio replaced by John Boruk

Mike Barkann moved to pre and post game roles

Brian Westbrook removed from Eagles postgame show

Amy Fadool and Marc Farzetta paired on Philly Sports Talk

new simulcast of the Mike Missanelli radio show

more short video clips on the website

didn’t renew Union broadcasting partnership (I don’t really blame them)

assimilated NBC 10 sports department (they no longer had separate anchors for NBC 10 sports segments, they’d just have Amy or John Clark or Danny Pommells do it remotely from HQ in South Philly, which made a ton of sense and saved $$$)

And, of course, Taryn Hatcher was hired as a multi-platform do-it-all person to cover a variety of roles at the station:

Host and reporter. Covering all sports – including, but not limited to, the Sixers. But, I’m not the sideline reporter for the team.

— Taryn Hatcher (@TarynHatcher) July 5, 2018

You still have regular contributors like Jim Salisbury and Corey Seidman and Dave Zangaro and Barrett Brooks and Derrick Gunn on the payroll. Roob, of course, is still writing for the site even though the TV appearances are less frequent. The various experts, like Jim Lynam and Ricky Bo, still do post-game analysis. There were some smaller hires behind the scenes and I’m not totally up to speed on who does what over there now.

I worked in television for nine years, and whenever moves like these are made it’s usually due to three things specifically:

saving money

getting younger in the talent department

trying to stay afloat in a business that has been slowly dying for a long time now

A lot of people are simply getting content from other sources via different mediums, like Twitter and Facebook through your smart phone. It is what it is.

But I feel like we can rule out that first reason, because it’s not like NBCSP is shot for money. Their Comcast overlords just built the biggest skyscraper in Philadelphia next to the now second-biggest skyscraper in Philadelphia. They sunk a bunch of money into NBC 10’s news product. They now own the Philadelphia Wings and Philadelphia Fusion in addition to the Flyers. There is definitely no shortage of cash when you go up the chain of command from Shawn Oleksiak to Michelle Murray, to whomever or whatever is above her.

So if we’re assuming that money isn’t the real issue, is it about getting younger? Maybe. Some of the old guard, the Burkes and Hartmans of this world, had been doing their jobs (very well) for a long time. But it’s not like Molly and Jess and Marshall were long in the tooth, so the age narrative doesn’t really seem to fit either. And even though you can kill two birds with one stone by replacing older, more expensive talent with younger, cheaper talent, we’ve already ruled out money as true problem.

The only real explanation would be #3, the idea that NBCSP is just totally revamping how they cover sports, with a more stripped down and bare bones approach. There are a lot of moving parts over there. Maybe it’s just not worth the effort or the cost to do everything they do, even if they CAN afford it. They could simply slash original content production entirely and focus on broadcasting the Sixers, Flyers, and Phillies, among other local teams. You can produce pregame and postgame segments, maybe enter an expanded simulcasting agreement with 97.5, and/or fill the rest of the slots with infomercials while taking in money from FIOS and Comcast carriage fees.

Specifically, you could ask yourself – do they really need an “insider” for each of the sports they cover?

I don’t know, but when you’re a team’s broadcast partner, the access and the content possibilities for someone like Camerato are significant, and she was one of the few traveling media members, so it seems goofy to stray away from that when you have a built-in advantage already. The Inquirer’s Keith Pompey is really the only other reporter who travels with the team.

Do they need sideline or “floor” reporters?

I don’t know, but I think Molly did a great job of adding flavor to the Sixers broadcast and getting interesting interviews while adding pieces of relevant information. Sure, you could just axe the position entirely and let Marc Zumoff and Alaa Abdelnaby run the entire thing from the booth, but I honestly think they should have gone in the opposite direction and tried to find more responsibility for Molly, which is what she wanted. In the case of a guy like Gregg Murphy, I think it’s easier to justify his inclusion during a longer and slower Phillies broadcast where he’s constantly moving around the ballpark and doing a variety of on-camera hits. The TV experience would feel thin and lose substance if he wasn’t involved.

Unfortunately the TV biz can be some UGLY stuff. I saw a female anchor temporarily demoted to a lesser shift because she was struggling to lose baby weight after coming back from maternity leave. One of my stations accidentally fired the wrong person because they incorrectly wrote out the list of staffers who were grandfathered into a bloated, bullshit union contract. I saw CBS 3 move on from quality anchors like Susan Barnett and Bob Kelly due to contract and responsibility disagreements. They also met Chris May, Beasley Reece, and Kathy Orr at the front door and prevented them from entering the building as they were axed a few years ago in part of a restructuring by a new general manager. Beasley’s stuff sat at his desk for something like a year, though I don’t think he cared because he was probably fishing in Texas. There was also the whole Alycia Lane and Larry Mendte fiasco that predated my time there, yet loomed over us for a good six or seven years.

That’s the problem with TV as it exists in the private sector; news-focused bosses are forced to make changes by money-focused higher-ups, and it results in this revolving door of people who never stick. Yeah, you get the hot meteorologist or whatever to attract the 40-year-old pervert crowd, then she’s gone after two years and you’re loading up with reporters and anchors who graduated from Medill two weeks ago.

One of the reasons Action News is so dominant is because they do nothing. Seriously, that’s a compliment. They’ve had Jim Gardner on the anchor desk for something like 40 years. The format is the same, the writing is the same, the graphics are the same and they simply just give you the news of the day, the weather forecast, and some sports highlights. People watch Action News because they trust Gardner and they know what they’re going to get, which goes something like this:

“…but the big story on Action News is flames, a three-alarm fire in Kensington that forced families out of their homes in the middle of the night… good evening, I’m Jim Gardner, let’s go live to Dann Cuellar in Kensington with more on the story. What can you tell us, Dann?”

Rinse and repeat, over and over and over again to the tune of utter market dominance.

Sometimes less is more, but I don’t think that’s the right approach for NBCSP. If Comcast, of all owners, is slashing jobs in their flagship market, what does that say about the sports broadcasting and journalism business as a whole? I don’t know, but it’s not good.

Anyway, I asked someone over at NBCSP to shed some light on the situation, and he/she responded with this:

“This place is nuts. No one seems to have a handle on the direction.”

Bummer. I think they’ve got some great people over there, multiple award-winners both on and off camera who deserve more from the folks in charge.

Kyle’s take:

NBC Sports Philly understands that the old guard of TV is not only not longer necessary, but it’s unsustainable. Gone are the days of CSN serving as the water cooler of Philly sports. Social media, sports talk radio, and blogs, like Crossing Broad, have taken over in this regard. Almost every piece of original content CSN used to air is completely irrelevant in 2018. They’ve made moves to shift away. So while it’s difficult to see the likes of Leslie Gudel, Neil Hartman, and even younger folks like Molly Sullivan and Jessica Camerato, who were well liked, be pushed out, NBC’s strategy to shift away from traditional coverage makes sense.

My issue, however, is what they are replacing it with. The supposedly hip, more modern fare that has come in its place, like cheeky off-beat shows, Breakfast on Broad – whose only purpose was to launch Jillian Mele into stardom (or whatever you want to call feeding the president nuggets of biased news) – and Quick Slants. They are taking a page out of ESPN’s play book 10 years ago and calling it new. In a society that increasingly values quality, at least where quantity is already provided through other means, NBC Sports Philly has doubled down on quasi junk– cheap, inexpensive fare that ultimately makes the network irrelevant to modern sports fans. The only thing that actually works in its inevitability is simulcasting Mike Missanelli’s show. Other than that, I can’t think of one notable thing CSN has done from a content standpoint that truly resonated (there might be one, but I can’t think of it), though the 2008 Phillies program they will air this month seems like it has potential.

I’m not sure there are any good answers for regionals sports networks, where cost-cutting seems to be a priority. But it seems shortsighted to get rid of basically all of your well-liked personalities. Someone like Molly Sullivan, while perhaps a so-called cap casualty, was well-liked and had a good camaraderie with Marc Zumoff and Alaa Abeladladsnamsdasdhay. It seems you can’t ask for more from a sideline reporter, though I’m certain Molly would’ve happily given them just that, given the chance.

Time’s yours.

We’re running out of room and especially talented professionals! @RonBurkeShow @tpanotchUFA @dlynamCSN @lesliegudel @36westbrook @NeilHartmanTV @MollySullivanTV @mharrisonair @JessicaCamerato pic.twitter.com/PeUkPV6dYH

— Collegeville Bakery (@CvilleItalBake) July 5, 2018

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