#judgement day: the john list story

[mad-prophet-of-the-airwaves]

Rest in peace, Robert Blake (1933-2023).

[hayleythesugarbowl]

masterlist ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧ 🎀 ˚

looking for a specific fandom? i present, my specific masterlists…

╰┈➤ {smosh • friends • thomas barrow • ray manchester }

➳ requests are closed

➳ some facts about me! my name is hayley and i’m just a silly little fangirl who loves reading, writing, drinking tea, feeling nostalgic, and obsessing over + living vicariously through fictional characters

➳ my goal on this blog is to write for everyone i can because i know the feeling of looking up a fic and finding it doesn’t exist and i feel like i owe it to my twelve y/o (and current!!) obsessive self to fill the void. that’s basically it— i write to fill the void 💌

➳ find the list of fandoms i write for at the bottom of this post

➳ feel free to ask anything and i hope you have a lovely day/night 🍓🩰

╰┈➤ masterlist after the cut!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

fluff: ♡ angst: ✧ requested: ☽

ˋ°•*⁀➷ oneshots + series ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹˚

ray manchester…

╰┈➤ Stuck || Ray Manchester/Captain Man x reader • ☽

word count: 3.5k warnings: none summary: you, an aspiring-fashion-designer, get trapped in an elevator with captain man on your way to a job interview

╰┈➤ Secret Identity || Ray Manchester/Captain Man x reader • ☽ ♡

word count: 3.8k warnings: i think i cursed once summary: you and ray have been dating in secret, due to your shyness and secret identity, but when there’s a change in your relationship, it may be time to let everyone know

╰┈➤ My Valentine || Ray Manchester/Captain Man x reader • ☽ ♡

word count: 3.8k warnings: none summary: when you start working at junk n’ stuff, ray is immediately attracted to you and wants to do something special for you on valentine’s day

monica geller…

╰┈➤ The One With Phoebe’s Sister || Monica Geller x reader • ☽

word count: 3.1k warnings: none summary: phoebe introduces the friends to you, her younger sister, you are instantly attracted to monica but don’t know that monica is equally smitten with you

joey tribbiani…

╰┈➤ The One With the Baby Girl || Joey Tribbiani x reader • ☽ ♡

word count: 1k warnings: childbirth summary: joey helps you through the birth of your daughter

╰┈➤ The One With The Pie || Joey Tribbiani x reader • ✧☽

word count: 6.6k warnings: some references summary: after your crush on joey ends before it can begin, you start to move on. but maybe, just maybe, the story of you and joey isn’t over just yet

╰┈➤ The One With the Ex || Joey Tribbiani x reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.2k warnings: presumed cheating, drinking, suggestive material  summary: after joey cheats on you and breaks your heart in high school, you run into him again years later and find out the past might not be exactly what you thought it was

remus lupin…

╰┈➤ In This Together || Remus Lupin x reader • ♡✧

word count: 2.1k warnings: none summary: when remus resigns from the position of dada teacher and leaves hogwarts, he decides it’s finally time to tell you the truth about himself and his ‘furry little problem’

╰┈➤ Stolen Glances || Remus Lupin x student!reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.1k warnings: age gap but it’s legal summary: remus finds himself drawn to you against his better judgement even though you are one of his students

tim bradford…

╰┈➤ Nightlight || Tim Bradford x reader • ✧☽

word count: 10.3k warnings: abusive past relationship, reader kind of has a panic attack, mild language, blood, guns, inaccurate police stuff summary: when you encounter a man while on patrol who has a threatening message from your ex, your TO, Tim, offers to spend the night with you

john nolan…

╰┈➤ Daddy Cop || John Nolan x reader • ☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: mild language, reader has a thing for cops summary: you go to visit john at work and see him in uniform for the first time

ian hecox…

╰┈➤ First Fake Date || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 2.5k warnings: none summary: Ian finds out his ex-girlfriend is going to be at an upcoming event and when you volunteer to go as his fake-date things don’t go quite as either of you planned

╰┈➤ More Than Friends || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 3.5k warnings: mild cursing summary: you have been ignoring your growing feelings for your best friend ian, but when you are chosen to do a romantic scene together will those feelings stay hidden?

╰┈➤ Fishy || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.8k warnings: none summary: you and ian have been dating for some time now, sneaking around so no one in the office knows you’re seeing each other. but when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, you’re forced to reveal your relationship to your coworkers

╰┈➤ Celebrity Crush || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.8k warnings: none summary: you have liked ian for some time now and despite your cast mates attempts at telling you that ian feels the same way, you don’t believe them. that is, until some interesting things are revealed through a video

╰┈➤ Historical Figure’s Mario Kart || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1k warnings: none summary: imagine being the mom + dad of smosh with ian as all of you hang out

╰┈➤ Try Not to Laugh: Crew Baby Edition || Ian Hecox x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: pregnancy, talk of milk (iykyk) summary: you announce your’s and ian’s pregnancy through a TNTL bit

anthony padilla…

╰┈➤ First Day || Anthony Padilla x reader • ☽

word count: 2.7k warnings: mild language, cheesiness summary: after ian and anthony buy smosh, you can’t wait to finally meet anthony. but your first encounter with him doesn’t go exactly as you would have thought.

spencer agnew…

╰┈➤ Cool Shoes || Spencer Agnew x reader • ♡☽

word count: 3.7k warnings: mild swearing summary: when you join smosh as the newest addition to the games crew, you are immediately attracted to spencer. but will your little crush turn into something more?

╰┈➤ Cool Shoes: Part 2 || Spencer Agnew x reader • ♡☽

word count: 2.8k warnings: implied smut, innuendos summary: now that you’ve both admitted your feelings for each other, spencer takes you out on your first official date

╰┈➤ Birthday Wishes || Spencer Agnew x reader • ♡☽

word count: 3.2k warnings: mild language summary: you and spencer have been long distance for some time now, and he decides he wants to do something special and surprise you for your birthday

╰┈➤ Spilled Punch || Spencer Agnew x reader • ☽

word count: 3k warnings: none summary: when you agreed to go to a smosh party with your best friend tommy, you didn’t imagine enjoying yourself very much. you also didn’t imagine you’d end up making out with spencer in the coat closest

╰┈➤ I Choose You || Chosen!Spencer Agnew x reader • ☽

word count: 1.1k warnings: none summary: when you come to visit smosh, where your boyfriend spencer works, he surprises you by showing you one of his favorite characters

╰┈➤ Marry Me || Spencer Agnew x reader • ♡☽

word count: 2.4k warnings none: none summary: after seeing shayne and courtney tie the knot, you are worried that you’ll never find a love like theirs. that’s when you start to see your best friend spencer in a new light

╰┈➤ Fight Club || Spencer Agnew x reader • ✧♡☽

word count: 1.8k warnings: cursing, gross man flirts with you summary: when you’re at a club with spencer and you get hit on by a drunk man, you are annoyed that spencer feels like he has to protect you. but then, when things go too far, you get to see just how much spencer cares for you

╰┈➤ See You Online || Spencer Agnew x reader (partial social media au) • ♡☽

word count: 2.6k warnings: mild swearing summary: when you see a smosh video of spencer saying you’re one of his favorite youtubers, you begin to interact online. then, when you both attend vidcon (and spencer’s friends convince him to talk to you) you hit it off

╰┈➤ Dropping Hints || Spencer Agnew x reader (social media au) • ♡☽

word count: 1k warnings: mild language summary: after you guest star in a smosh video, you and spencer start dropping hints of your relationship on insta

trevor evarts…

╰┈➤ Perfect || Trevor Evarts x chubby!reader • ✧♡☽

word count: 1.1k warnings: insecurities, body shaming, implied smut summary: when you are feeling insecure about your body after getting negative comments online from fans, trevor comforts you and assures you that you’re beautiful

╰┈➤ Am I The Crush? || Trevor Evarts x reader • ♡☽

word count: 2.2k warnings: mild swearing summary: when trevor joined smosh, you quickly became friends, helping him settle in—and secretly crushing on him. then some interesting things are revealed in a reddit stories video.

angela giarratana…

╰┈➤ Misread Signs || Angela Giarratana x reader • ☽

word count: 2.2k warnings: none summary: when you start to become really close with courtney, angela takes this as a sign that you aren’t interested in her, until unusual circumstances cause you both to realize each other’s feelings

╰┈➤ Love Hurts || Angela Giarratana x reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.9k warnings: angst summary: you have been in love with angela for months and upon finding out that she is dating someone else, heartbroken you start to distance yourself from her and everything else in your life

╰┈➤ Jealousy, jealousy || Angela Giarratana x reader • ☽

word count: 1.3k warnings: hickeys summary: angela finds herself jealous when another member of the cast flirts with you and she decides to let you know that you’re hers

╰┈➤ Sleepyhead || Angela Giarratana x reader • ♡☽

word count: 0.9k warnings: none summary: a sleepy angela wakes up with you and refuses to let you get out of bed

╰┈➤ Second Chances || Angela Giarratana x reader • ✧☽

word count: 3.3k warnings: none summary: when the smosh cast goes on a company retreat and you and angela are forced to share a hotel room you have the opportunity to rekindle an old romance

╰┈➤ Sweeter than Pie || Angela Giarratana x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.1k warnings: none summary: when you’re tired from work , angela cooks with you

╰┈➤ Princess || Angela Giarratana x reader • ☽

word count: 2k warnings: sick fic summary: when you start to feel sick during a game night with angela, you let her take care of you for once and she gets to see a different side of you

╰┈➤ Same Time Tomorrow || Angela Giarratana x reader • ♡☽

word count: 2k warnings: none summary: you’ve been going to the same gym for a while now, crushing on the same girl who’s always there but never actually talking to her. that is, until the letters start appearing in your locker

╰┈➤ Red, White, and You || Angela Giarratana x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: none summary: when you and the rest of the smosh cast go to angela’s place to celebrate the fourth of july, angela makes sure you two get your own celebration

courtney miller…

╰┈➤ Kiss the Nurse || Courtney Miller x sick!reader • ♡☽

word count: 0.6k warnings: sick fic summary: courtney takes care of you when you’re sick and is rewarded with a kiss from their patient

╰┈➤ Stay With Me || sick!Courtney Miller x reader • ♡☽

word count: 0.7k warnings: sick fic, mild swearing summary: when courtney calls and cancels your date night due to a stomach bug, you don’t hesitate to drop everything and take care of them

╰┈➤ Only You || Courtney Miller x reader • ✧☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: none summary: when you begin to get jealous of courtney and shayne’s relationship, courtney assures you that you’re the one they love

shayne topp…

╰┈➤ Worth the Wait || Shayne Topp x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.1k warnings: mild swearing summary: shayne is determined to find out what your Halloween costume is this year but you won’t tell him, and when the holiday is finally here he finds it very much worth the wait

julio rodríguez…

╰┈➤ Luckiest Man || Julio Rodríguez x reader • ♡☽

word count: 1.2k warnings: none summary: julio has just won the world series and been named mvp and yet his biggest prize is you, his new fiancée

thomas barrow…

╰┈➤ Even || Thomas Barrow & reader • ☽

word count: 3.4k warnings: cursing, homophobia because it’s jimmy summary: when you, a ladies maid who thomas has never got along with in the past, catch thomas making a move on jimmy you’re forced to decide wether or not to help him out

╰┈➤ It’s Nice to Have a Friend || Thomas Barrow & friend!reader • ✧♡☽ (finished)

╰► || Part 1 • Part 2 • Part 3 ||

word count: 4.8k warnings: some mild swearing summary: when you start working at downton abbey as a new maid, thomas takes a liking to you and an unexpected relationship forms between you

ˋ°•*⁀➷ other writing ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹˚

╰┈➤ You Can’t Change the Past || an Elena of Avalor inspired short story

word count: 6k warnings: i was a child when i wrote this summary: jacques, chancellor of emelda, plagued by regrets, is used to helping his cousin run her kingdom. but when he meets some ghosts of his past and a villain returns is he ready to face it all?

ˋ°•*⁀➷ headcanons ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹˚

dating…

╰┈➤ Smosh-

Shayne Topp ♡☽

Damien Haas ♡

Ian Hecox (part 1) ♡☽

Ian Hecox (part 2) ♡☽

Spencer Agnew ♡☽

Anthony Padilla ♡☽

Trevor Evarts ♡☽

Angela Giarratana ♡☽

Amanda Lehan-Canto ♡☽

Smosh Women ♡☽

╰┈➤ Friends-

Joey Tribbiani ♡

Chandler Bing ♡☽

Rachel Green ♡

Monica Geller ♡

Ross Geller ♡☽

Phoebe Buffay ♡

╰┈➤ Jack Edwards-

part 1 ♡

part 2 ♡☽

part 3 ♡☽

part 4 ♡☽

╰┈➤ Seattle Mariners-

Jarred Kelenic ♡

Julio Rodriguez, George Kirby, Jarred Kelenic (Pt 2) ♡☽

╰┈➤ Ray Manchester/Captain Man-

Ray Manchester x reader ♡

Ray Manchester x smart!reader ♡☽

╰┈➤ Miscellaneous-

James McAvoy ♡☽

Carswell Thorne ♡☽

Austin Butler ♡

Elvis Presley ♡☽

Jacques Snicket ♡

Megara ♡

Simon Cowell ♡

Chancellor Esteban Flores ♡

friends + family…

╰┈➤ Thomas Barrow-

Thomas Barrow & friend!reader ♡✧

Thomas Barrow & teen!sister!reader ✧♡☽

╰┈➤ Miscellaneous-

Will Truman ♡

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ˋ°•*⁀➷ fandoms i write for ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹˚

╰► Downton Abbey

╰► Harry Potter

╰► A Series of Unfortunate Events

╰► Smosh

╰► Hercules (1997)

╰► The Lunar Chronicles

╰► Elena of Avalor

╰► Friends

╰► Will and Grace

╰► How I Met Your Mother

╰► The Dropouts Podcast

╰► The Rookie

╰► Elvis Presley + Elvis (2022)

╰► Seattle Mariners

╰► and probably others i’m forgetting so shoot me an ask 💌

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~°~❦~°~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

last updated: 9/16/24

╰┈➤ romanticize, fantasize, sentimentalize…nostalgize ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🩰

[is0gild]

I got tagged by @superfan44 to do his 100 Favorite Movies Challenge. Rules are simple: create a list of 100 of your personal favorite movies in alphabetical order and share it, then tag others to do the challenge.

I thought coming up with 100 movies would be hard, but once I got started they just kept coming and I actually had to remove some from the list when I was done to stay under 100 haha! List under the cut :)

10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

358/2 Days The Movie (2013) *

Adventures in Babysitting (1987)

Army of Darkness (1992)

Back to the Future (1985)

Back to the Future Part II (1989)

Back to the Future Part III (1990)

Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)

Beetlejuice (1988)

Being John Malkovich (1999)

Big Hero 6 (2014)

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

BlacKkKlansman (2018)

Chicago (2002)

Chronicle (2012)

Coming to America (1988)

Deadpool (2016)

District 9 (2009)

Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)

Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022)

Evil Dead II (1987)

FernGully: The Last Rainforest (1992)

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Frozen II (2019) **

Get Out (2017)

Ghostbusters (1984)

Ghostbusters (2016)

Groundhog Day (1993)

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Hancock (2008)

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Hook (1991)

How to Train Your Dragon (2010)

Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

Independence Day (1996)

Interview With A Vampire (1994)

John Q (2002)

Jurassic Park (1993)

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) ***

Labyrinth (1986)

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

Little Shop of Horrors (1986)

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Megamind (2010)

Memento (2000)

Men in Black (1997)

Moana (2016)

Moulin Rouge! (2001)

Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

Pride and Prejudice (2005)

Princess Mononoke (1997)

School of Rock (2003)

Scott Pilgrim vs the World (2010)

Serenity (2005)

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Space Jam (1996)

Spaceballs (1987)

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Spirited Away (2001)

Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015)

Stranger Than Fiction (2006)

Tangled (2010)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

Tetris (2023)

Thank You for Smoking (2005)

The Avengers (2012)

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

The Iron Giant (1999)

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

The Mummy (1999)

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

The Princess Bride (1987)

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

The Secret of NIMH (1982)

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Titan AE (2000)

Treasure Planet (2002)

V for Vendetta (2005)

WALL-E (2008)

Warm Bodies (2013)

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story (2022)

Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)

Wonder Woman (2017)

Wreck-It Ralph (2012)

Zombieland (2009)

* Does this one actually count as a movie? Feel like it's a bit of a stretch, but it does say "The Movie" right there in the title xD And it's ME, I feel like my list would be incomplete if I didn't include something starring my fave fire boi lol! ** What?! Frozen II on the list, but not the original Frozen?! That's right, it IS possible for one of a person's utmost fave characters of all time to be in a movie they thought was only okay xD Don't get me wrong, I do like Frozen, it just didn't make the cut for this list! Frozen II on the other hand came out in theaters at a time when I only had to pay $15/mo for unlimited movie tickets and I loved it so much, I was seeing it 2 or 3 times a week x'D *** I know rules didn't say to point this out, but I feel like I had to do it anyway: Utmost. Fave. Movie. Of. All. Time. RDJ and Val Kilmer in a comedic whodunit? Movie gold! Watch it. It's good!

Okay, now to tag people! Remember this is just for fun, absolutely no pressure to actually do this, only if you want to! Tagging: @basiliskonline @daughterofkyne @astranovus64 and to anyone else reading this who thinks creating a list of your fave movies sounds fun, I tag you as well! :D

[terpia]

I'm beyond late on this, but thank you for tagging me @whatevsbla!

Rules: List ten books that have stayed with you in some way, don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you.

(these are in no particular order)

'Stuff' by Daniel Miller - to this day I have not finished it, but reading the first few chapters of this book in my undergrad forever changed the way I look at clothes and 'innate' qualities, making me question for the first time why supposedly innate things are meant to be superior to things you actively worked to develop.

'Fool's Errand' by Robin Hobb - my fav RotE book. I love the older Fitz POV, the new characters, and the return of old faves. The relatively low stakes also mean that for the most part I can enjoy the warm character moments knowing that there's nothing awful about to happen in the next chapter.

'Pippi Longstockings' by Astrid Lindgren. The first 'proper' book (i.e. a full novel instead of a collection of short stories) that I've read by myself and one of my fav books as a kid. It forever has a place in my heart.

'Othello' by William Shakespeare. My second Shakespeare play, and also the play that really made me love Shakespeare. Read it over a couple of months for school, which means that I remember details of it much better than a lot of other Shakespeare plays.

'English Renaissance drama : a Norton anthology' - this may be cheating, but this book is just a really good selection of early modern plays that I stumbled upon in my uni library and have been thinking about longingly ever since (although looking online, it appears that used copies of it are actually fairly affordable, so perhaps I could actually buy one for myself)

'Pulpecja' by Małgorzata Musierowicz - another book from my childhood. The entire Jeżycjada series fills me with nostalgia, but this book in particular meant a lot to me as a kid. Growing up fat, reading about a beautiful chubby girl was a balm to my soul.

'National Gallery of Ireland Companion Guide' - this is a weird one, but I picked up a copy of this book during my fine art phase as a teenager and then spend hours pouring over all the paintings and painting descriptions in it. The actual gallery is also very dear to me.

'Anthropocene Reviewed' by John Green. I don't know why this collection of essays spoke to me so strongly, but I cried a lot while reading it and it helped me to feel more connected to/ appreciative of the wider world around me.

'How to keep house while drowning: A Gentle Approach to Cleaning and Organising' by KC Davis - another book that made me cry a lot. I'm not usually one for self-care books, but I bought this one when I was really struggling with my chores and it really helped. I can't say that any of the practical advice really stayed with me outside of one or two things, but the core message of making your space serve you (not the other way around) and not attaching moral judgement or your own self worth to completing chores made this 1000% worth buying. A book I'll be returning to many times over.

'My Brilliant Friend' by Elena Ferrante (although the entire Neapolitan quartet can go here) - I can't remember the last time a series of books absorbed me this much both story wise (although this is more of a character study, and not exactly fast-paced) and intectually. Binged all 4 books in a row (and that's saying quite a bit, considering how often I was annoyed by the main character lol). Wouldn't have picked it up if not for my friend hyping it up a lot, but I'm really glad I did. Also it made me reconnect with my childhood friend, so hey, there's that!

[hierarchyproblem]

It was the anniversary of the Hiroshima bombing yesterday, and Nagasaki is in two days. I haven't seen Oppenheimer, but since the topic's been in the discourse lately, here's what Dorothy Day wrote in the Catholic Worker in 1945 following the dropping of the bomb.

Mr Truman was jubilant. President Truman. True man; what a strange name, come to think of it. We refer to Jesus Christ as true God and true Man. Truman is a true man of his time in that he was jubilant. He was not a son of God, brother of Christ, brother of the Japanese, jubilating as he did. He went from table to table on the cruiser which was bringing him home from the Big Three conference, telling the great news; “jubilant” the newspapers said. Jubilate Deo. We have killed 318,000 Japanese.

That is, we hope we have killed them, the Associated Press, on page one, column one of the Herald Tribune, says. The effect is hoped for, not known. It is to be hoped they are vaporized, our Japanese brothers – scattered, men, women and babies, to the four winds, over the seven seas. Perhaps we will breathe their dust into our nostrils, feel them in the fog of New York on our faces, feel them in the rain on the hills of Easton. Jubilate Deo. President Truman was jubilant. We have created. We have created destruction. We have created a new element, called Pluto. Nature had nothing to do with it. “A cavern below Columbia was the bomb’s cradle,” born not that men might live, but that men might be killed. Brought into being in a cavern, and then tried in a desert place, in the midst of tempest and lightning, tried out, and then again on the eve of the Feast of the Transfiguration of our Lord Jesus Christ, on a far off island in the eastern hemisphere, tried out again, this “new weapon which conceivably might wipe out mankind, and perhaps the planet itself.” [...] “We have spent two billion on the greatest scientific gamble in history and won,” said President Truman jubilantly. The papers list the scientists (the murderers) who are credited with perfecting this new weapon [...] Scientists, army officers, great universities (Notre Dame included), and captains of industry – all are given credit lines in the press for their work of preparing the bomb – and other bombs, the President assures us, are in production now [...] This new great force will be used for good, the scientists assured us. And then they wiped out a city of 318,000. This was good. The President was jubilant. Today’s paper with its columns of description of the new era, the atomic era, which this colossal slaughter of the innocents has ushered in, is filled with stories covering every conceivable phase of the new discovery. Pictures of the towns and the industrial plants where the parts are made are spread across the pages. In the forefront of the town of Oak Ridge, Tennessee is a chapel, a large comfortable-looking chapel benignly settled beside the plant. And the scientists making the first tests in the desert prayed, one newspaper account said. Yes, God is still in the picture. God is not mocked [...] God permits these things. We have to remember it. We are held in God’s hands, all of us, and President Truman too, and these scientists who have created death, but will use it for good. He, God, holds our life and our happiness, our sanity and our health; our lives are in His hands. He is our Creator. Creator. [...] Everyone says, “I wonder what the Pope thinks of it?” How everyone turns to the Vatican for judgement, even though they do not seem to listen to the voice there! But our Lord Himself has already pronounced judgement on the atomic bomb. When James and John (John the beloved) wished to call down fire from heaven on their enemies, Jesus said: “You know not of what spirit you are. The Son of Man came not to destroy souls but to save.” He said also, “What you do unto the least of these my brethren, you do unto me.”

[ewzzy]

I haven't made a real list, but since I spend all my time reading comics here's a top ten for 2022. (no particular order) First up is Kyle Starks' I Hate This Place. Kyle is always the best and a couple inheriting a farm only to find out it's haunted by ghosts/aliens/demons/cyptids/everything is a great hook.

Next up is the new Amazing Spider-Man series that brings back writer Zeb Wells and artist John Romita Jr. They're two of the best to ever do Spider-Man and as they tend to do they drag him through the mud along the way.

Adjacent to Spider-Man is Jed Mackay doing more Black Cat stories. He's writing the Moon Knight, Black Cat, and Dr Strange series and has proven to be one of the best and most prolific writers in the Marvel bullpen. Here's a bit from Mary Jane & Black Cat: Beyond.

Too bad for Jed but this was the year Chip Zdarsky hit homer after home with so many great series. Daredevil, Stillwater, Public Domain, and two Batman series that are all comic of the year level. It's been crazy watching the comedy guy known for Sex Criminals become the most prized writer at the big two. Nobody but Chip gets to write Batman and work for Marvel at the same time.

I've been going on and on about writers but the recent Poison Ivy series is all about artist Marcio Takara. I normally wouldn't give a series like this a chance but it's a beautiful horror comic where a lot of folks get torn apart by fungal spores.

I also wouldn't have touched a Harley Quinn series but Riley Rossmo's art will get me to read anything. He just started a new Robin series where Tim Drake is living in a boat house and working as a private eye. So far so good!

I don't care about the Eternals or Avengers and keeping up with the X-Men is exhausting but the A.X.E. Judgement Day event was great. Basically the superheroes create a new god and it decides to judge everyone on earth individually. If it does the math and we're mostly bad the earth goes bye bye. Captain America is the first to get a thumbs down and everyone collectively goes "oh so we're fucked right?" Then when the Eternals wake up some old war machines one reads the whole internet and becomes the secret admirer of a single human writer.

As I said X-Men is exhausting, but it was worth it to get all the jokes in X-Men '92 House of XCII which retells the last few years of X-Men comics as if they were adapted to the 90s cartoon.

A much clearer X-Men comic was Giant-Size X-Men: Thunderbird. He was the first X-Man to die for the cause and now that mutants can be resurrected he's back and not sure he wants to be a part of it anymore. It's co-written by trans native-american pro wrestler Nyla Rose and I was expecting very little but it's great.

Guess this is my last one. I have been shocked by how good the Punisher: King of Killers series is. Writer Jason Aaron and artists Jeus Saiz & Paul Azaceta bounce between two art styles & times. The present where Frank Castle is worshipped as history's greatest killer by ninja assassin cult, The Hand, and the past where we discover he first killed at age 10 and how his family dying was never what made him the Punisher. It's also an allegory about how The Punisher isn't cool and you shouldn't like him and anyone who would use his skull logo unironically is dumb.

Sorry TMNT Armageddon Game, One-Star Squadron, Superman The Warworld Saga, X-Terminators, My Bad, Billionaire Island: Cult of Dogs, World's Finest, and everyone else from this year but I've run out of time and space. Look forward to Spider-Man/X-Men Dark Web on next year's list alongside both of Ryan North's new comics Secret Invasion and Fantastic Four.

[messedupfan]

hmm I would recommend final girls support group, halloween by john passarella, & new nightmare by david bergantino. I put the authors names for the last two cause those are kind of annoying to find without them so if you are interested it's just something to help you find them faster. I for one love horror so I was a little too happy to read these LOL, especially the last two cause they're novelizations and I'm obsessed with the movies 😭 totally understand if they're not your thing tho! I have been told before I like things maybe a lil toooo intensely so my judgement might be a bit clouded when it comes to quality but idc i enjoyed them just the same 😵‍💫🤣 side note: definitely was not joking about intensely liking stuff, my sister always says I'm weird cause I rewatch movies literally within the hour of watching it for the first time and then I will continuously rewatch it or parts of it for days on end, am I the only one!?😫😫 - 🧃

I've added them to my reading list. I hope I'll be able to get to them soon. I was able to find a free version of New Nightmare so I'll probably start with that first. Which is cool because I love Wes Craven as a director. Interested to see how he contributed to the book. (I saw that he is listed as an co-author on it unless I found the wrong one lol)

I love horror movies! I haven't read much horror before so I'm excited to explore the genre this way.

I'm a person that loves things quite passionately and intensely as well. Hell, you've read my fanfics haha This content doesn't come out of regular and insignificant interest. It comes out of obsession haha I mean, if you knew how seriously I take writing these stories... Well, you'd be able to tell your sister that you're not weird because there are plenty more people out there that are much weirder. (Which is why I can't correct my brothers when they call me weird haha)

You're not the only one. In high school, I went through a four month phase when the only thing I would watch was all four of the Scream movies back to back. Then there was the Hannah Montana and then the Wizards of Waverly Place, then Camp Rock, CW shows like One Tree Hill, Vampire Diaries, and Gilmore Girls. I've even had a Grey's Anatomy phase. The longest one has to be my obsession with The Hunger Games which lasted about eight years (My prime reason for avoiding the newest movie; I fear the person I may become). But my current obsession was a slow growing obsession that began in 2008 and didn't slap me silly and throw me in a white van and is currently holding me hostage until 2021, Marvel. All the same, there is a variety in quality in each and every one of those shows and movies (not even the full list) and because of the joy they have brought me, especially in certain points in my life, I don't care for negative comments about those things. I will fight all of the criticism because it doesn't have to be about the quality. It can be just about enjoying the content.

Sorry for going on a tangent, I guess it was my long winded way of saying hell yeah to the "idc I enjoyed them just the same" part. Own that bestie!

[yestolerancepro]

Tolerance Project extra I’ll be back and he certainly was Every Terminator film ranked from worst to best

Overview

The Terminator is a 1984 American science fiction action film directed by James Cameron. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Terminator, a cyborg assassin sent back in time from 2029 to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), whose unborn son will one day save mankind from extinction by Skynet, a hostile artificial intelligence in a post-apocalyptic future. Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn) is a soldier sent back in time to protect Sarah. The screenplay is credited to Cameron and producer Gale Anne Hurd.

Defying low pre-release expectations, The Terminator topped the United States box office for two weeks, eventually grossing $78.3 million against a modest $6.4 million budget. It is credited with launching Cameron's film career and solidifying Schwarzenegger's status as a leading man. The film's success led to a franchise consisting of several sequels, a television series, comic books, novels and video games. In 2008, The Terminator was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the United States National Film Registry.

To watch a video short detailing some of the background story behind The Terminator click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7kjFRBq2Ic&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=325

The Screen rant film website recently published a list of what they thought were the best films in the Terminator film franchise.

to read the screen rant list click here https://screenrant.com/terminator-movies-ranked-worst-best/

When it was released in 1984 it made Arnold Schwarzenegger  a star Collider the entertainment website recently revealed how he got the role when the director wanted him in the film to play a differant part all togather you can read about it here https://collider.com/arnold-schwarzenegger-the-terminator-james-cameron/

Me and The Terminator Franchise

There have been 6 films in The Terminator franchise I must admit I have not seen them all so I won’t comment on those but  I think the first 2 films in the series are the best ones in the franchise as a whole.  

The Collider entertainment website published an article recently where they   showed the first 2 two Terminator films to first time viewer to read his thoughts click here https://collider.com/terminator-review-james-cameron-arnold-schwarzenegger-small-story/

I would have stopped the series after Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines after all it would have made a nice little trilogy. I actually saw the 2nd Terminator film Judgement day first. 

I only saw that because I was intriged by a spoof pop single in the british charts by Arnie and the Terminators which you can listen to by clicking here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JewSFEb4D6Y 

Did you know Terminator 2 Judgement orignally had a differant ending which would have ended of the Terminator series after 2 films.

The epic saga of the "Terminator" films nearly had a far more conclusive ending in its second installment. James Cameron initially planned for a future-set epilogue in which an older Sarah Connor watches her son John, now a senator, playing with his daughter in a peaceful, Skynet-free world.

This would have sealed the fate of our beloved characters, leaving no room for a sequel, let alone the multiple that followed. As apocalyptic as the "Terminator" franchise tends to be, it's amusing to imagine it wrapping up with a peaceful picnic scene.

Screenrant again published an article on their website called 10 Movies that should have ended the Franchise and Terminator 2 Judgement Day was on their list at number at number 7 this is what they had to say 

There are several reasons why Terminator 2: Judgment Day still holds up today. Apart from the impressive effects and performance that brought the T-1000 to life, Terminator 2 compellingly raised the stakes and further explored the plot's ethical implications. It also pulled off the impossible by turning the first movie's villain, the T-800, into a hero and father figure to John Connor. With Skynet's defeat, Sarah and John finally had a reason to be optimistic in the ending, which brings the story to a full circle. The disappointing events of Terminator 3 and the succeeding reboot sequels only strengthen Judgment Day's place among movies that should have ended the franchise. 

Reading those comments myself its very hard to disagree with them also this article from the CBR.com website explains why the Terminator film series should have perharps stopped at Terminator 2 Judgement Day https://www.cbr.com/t2-perfect-end-terminator-series/

Also the yard Barker website included it in a list of films in article called Sequels that could have worked as standalone films this is what they had to say:

James Cameron’s original Terminator is a hallmark of sci-fi and action cinema, and, if anything, its sequel is even better. In this case, the story focuses on Sarah Connor, her son John, and their unlikely ally, the T-800. The entire cast is at the top of their game, though, of course, Arnold Schwarzenegger is a highlight as the Terminator. Throughout the film, Cameron showcases his skills as a director, and it’s a film that only grows in importance and relevance as AI becomes a more pronounced and undeniable part of everyone’s daily life, for better and for worse.

This article from the CBR website also lists 10 reasons why Terminator 2 Judgement Day is the best film of the Franchise https://www.cbr.com/terminator-2-best-movie-franchise/

This article from the screenrant website details the 10 best things found in the other Terminator sequels after Terminator 2 Judgement day you can read it by clicking here https://screenrant.com/terminator-movie-sequels-good-things-after-t2-judgment-day/

Tolerance and the Terminator

Why am I talking about Terminator well we almost had a Terminator spoof in the Tolerance film as you can see below first published in the 2nd Part of my Producers comentary blog 

Deleted scene

Tolerance deals with five major issues, one of which is transport. The second deleted scene is one I rather miss, and I wish we had kept it as it would have been funny. In the finished film, we see Robert trying to get to his interview; his taxi has not turned up and he just misses the bus; it is just not his day. The deleted scene would have been a Terminator spoof. Perhaps the scene was excluded because the director felt a bus company would not let us borrow a bus for a few hours! It is a shame as Railtrack let us borrow a train for half a day for the Huddersfield Station sequences later in the film.

Terminator!

Robert falls into one of his day dreams and lifts himself out of the chair and onto the bus. He is now wearing full bike leathers, sun glasses and motorbike boots; the passengers on the bus look terrified!

ROBERT: Town.

Robert hands the driver a ten pound note.

BUS DRIVER (pointing to a sign which says correct change only): Correct change only mate.

Robert leans into the perspex.

ROBERT: 'I’ll be back'

Robert the Terminator steps off the bus; the bus pulls away leaving him standing next to the wheelchair in his normal clothes. According to the shooting schedule if this scene was shot it would have been recorded on the 17th August the same day as the Huddersfield Train station scenes making a long day even longer perhaps another reason why it was cut

The props listed for this deleted scene include full leather gear motorbike boots sunglasses and rather strangely a red eye was Richard planning to have a prosthetic eye made just for this scene ?

Bonus content

Documentories

To watch a video called WTF Happened to The Terminator from from the JO Blos orignal you tube page Click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1QwVogN-yA&t=46s

To watch a a retrospective review of the orignal Terminator film from the Oliver Harper You Tube page click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRYFDGDBdG8&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=301&t=16s

To watch a retrospective review of Terminator 2 Judgement Day from the Oliver Harper Youtube page click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VB6Ydsahf08&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=298&t=25s

To watch a retrospective review of Terminator 3 Rise of the Machines click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V8DLnrkBDZE&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=297&t=2s

To watch a review of Terminator Dark Fate click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB6Cc5F1pCQ&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=300&t=40s

Ten things you didnt know about the Terminator Video Series from Minty Comedic arts

The Orignal Terminator film click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-tprB2tQ4Q&t=117s

Terminator 2 Judgement Day Click Here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNaEUzo5DFw&t=88s

Terminator 3 Rise of The Machines click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_klwA4A0O0&t=44s

To watch a video about some of the computer games the franchise has inspired click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZO2L1HVdUI&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=317

Borrowing Blockbusters: The Best Worst Terminator Knock Offs, Rip-Offs and Clones

An interesting video about the knock off and Clones of the Terminator series you can watch it by clicking herehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ulV81PZXx4I&list=PL17vqAEJv6CV1syq4_fFKgBwSqGdJzH9z&index=341&t=32s

Trailers

A collection of Trailers from all 6 films click here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYrcUanZ2dM

Further reading

The movieweb website published a list called the 18 greatest Scifi film Franchises of all time the Terminator series landed at number at number 7 you can read the full list by clicking here https://movieweb.com/best-sci-fi-film-franchises/#pacific-rim

This article from the Screenrant website lists 12 greatest up and downs in the Terminator Franchise to read it click here https://screenrant.com/terminator-movies-ups-downs-franchise/

This article by the slash film website gives a good history of the orignal film but also explains why Orion Pictures backed the film in the first place with only one condition to read it click here https://www.slashfilm.com/1515271/orion-pictures-agreed-finance-the-terminator-one-condition/

Thank you to Minty Comedic arts youtube channel for his 10 things you didn’t know about Terminator for the first 3 films in the Terminator series. Also Thank you Oliver Harper youtube Channel for his retrospective review series again on the first Terminator films and also his review Dark Fate. and lastly thank you to Jo blo orignals for his wtf happened to the Terminator  and other Terminator related videos

Remember if you want to help the Tolerance project after reading this mini blog or just want further information click on this link https://gofund.me/5cf25de4

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #606

Top Ten Time Travel Stories

I probably should have written about this last week, when the show actually returned to Disney+, but I wanted to do something about Loki. I think the series has been one of the most popular of the MCU TV shows so far, and whilst (for me at least) it wasn’t as experimental as WandaVision or as fresh as Ms. Marvel, it’s still one of the most consistent shows they’ve done, with some terrific new characters in the likes of Mobius and especially Sylvie, and probably on balance the best designed Marvel show around (skinny ties for the win!).

Anyway, at its heart it’s a story about time travel; time travel so pervasive and all-encompassing that it ends up creating the MCU multiverse. But there were parts of that first season that felt like a weirdly off-kilter episode of Doctor Who, as a foppish Brit tooled round time and space accompanied by grumpy sidekick. And this got me thinking about a topic that I’ve rather amazingly (unless I’ve cocked up my reckoning) never covered before: time travel stories.

I’ve always loved time travel stories, as far back as I can remember. Part of it was the thrill of seeing other times and places; as a kid, I especially liked visions of the future. But also, from a young age, I loved the trippy, timey-wimey nature of the stories; whether it was changing history in a way that was reflected in the present, or some kind of pre-ordainment that allowed for all manner of amusing hijinks (something I still refer to as a “key moment” because of Bill & Ted). Basically, I think I can put all of this down to three things: Terminator, Back to the Future, and Target: 2006, all of which are reflected here in this list.

The way time travel stories can depict alternate futures or allow for our characters to interact with the past in interesting ways has always been fascinating, and it’s something I just adore about the genre. I love the different rules that you have to concoct for time travel; like how in Timecop you can’t touch your past self for some reason, which I like to think of as “Chekov’s Ron Silver” (also in that film: Young Ron Silver is cut on the face, instantly making a scar appear on Old Ron Silver). Or the way in Transformers there could only be a certain amount of matter occupying the timeline so if you went into the past, due to “mass displacement” someone was shunted into a limbo dimension temporarily. And, of course, there are tons not on this list; books (This is How You Lose the Time War!) and comics (Days of Future Past!) and films (Looper!) and games (Day of the Tentacle!) that I just could not find room for. So many really cool ideas explored via the medium of time travel.

Not much more to say, really, other than let’s have at it. And as Einstein rather melancholically intones in the intro to the sublime alternate-timeline adventure Red Alert, “sooner or later, time will tell”.

The Terminator (1984) and Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991): I feel like these are the big guns of time travel, with their dystopic future, characters with a glorious destiny, high-tech robos, and an intriguing mix of the preordained and “no fate”. If you’re feeling shallow, the notion of a killer cyber-skeleton from the future with its skin suit coming back in time is a cool hook; but the unpicking of what we can change about our destiny versus what’s already “happened” is intriguing, because obviously if they change the future in T2 then there’d be no Terminator to get sent back, so no Reese, so no John, etc. These first two films are both masterpieces in their own right and classics of the genre.

Doctor Who (from 1963): this feels a little rote, oddly enough, because it’s an entire sixty-year-old show where one of the main hooks is they’re in a different time every week. But let’s be honest, that’s a hell of a hook. And there are some terrific ways in which they play with the ramifications of that; I could wax lyrical about Time Wars and fixed points and stuff like that bit in The Day of the Doctor when the “youngest” version of the Doctor starts a program running in his screwdriver so the “oldest” one can use the finished program, but I’m just gonna link to this fantastic explanation of the Bootstrap Paradox. God, I love this show.

The Transformers comics (from 1984): right, this one’s a bit of a cheat, because the comics have been going forty years and across (at least) four big publishers, but by Christ this was a biggie. Simon Furman’s Target: 2006 and its aftermath (literally ending in something called Time Wars) brought a character from the future into the present day and really introduced Little Me to the ways in which you could mess with time and space in a story. It’s phenomenal and I doubt there’s a British Transformers fan in their forties who wasn’t massively influenced by this story. Flash forward three decades, and James Roberts does something similar but very different in his Elegant Chaos arc, which sends the main characters back in time and not only seeds the future stories in interesting ways (this thing you thought was a thing was actually one of our guys from the future!) but ends up creating the entire Transformers multiverse and setting up the series Big Bads from the “Functionist Universe”. Phenomenal.

Back to the Future (1985-1990): the other biggie from my childhood. The first film is still a masterpiece in scriptwriting, but the properly wobbly time stuff happens in the other two films (especially part II). Tricks such as the vanishing photo are great representations of the perils of time travel and a fantastic piece of narrative sleight-of-hand, and we get great gags like “your kids are gonna love it”; but as well as offering a wild and exciting vision of the future, Part II has the barnstorming notion of integrating the characters into the events of the previous film. It’s just ingenious, hilarious, and a technical spectacle. Then the next film is a Western, which rocks.

The Time Traveler’s Wife (2003): a passionate, earnest, heartfelt, tragic love story that feels incredibly real and true – but is also a trippy time travel thing. A bloke is randomly pulled through time, keeps meeting the same woman at different points in their history, and they fall in love. Has some great notions as their lives slide in and out of sync: she meets him when she’s a child but he’s already married to her in the future; he meets her when he’s a student but he’s been present in her life for years at that point. Beautiful and profound, one of my favourite love stories. Also has a bit where, as a teenager, he shags himself.

Bill & Ted (1989-2020): full disclosure, I’ve not seen the latest one yet, but the first two have some terrific uses of time travel. Even the very notion of using a time machine to visit different periods in order to pass a history test is inspired lunacy; as is the concept of these two arseholes needing to be saved because they’re the ones who’ll eventually save the world. But the bit where they deus ex machina themselves out of a predicament by basically saying “when all this is over we’ll go back in time and leave a key here under this rock” is genius.

12 Monkeys (1995): another one where there’s a really cool, dark, sumptuously-designed dystopic future that we’re trying to avoid. This excels in being trippy, though, as poor old Bruce Willis doesn’t know down from up as he’s pulled back and forth in time, using piecemeal clues to search for a cure to a plague that destroyed the world. The slowly-emerging truth about what’s happening, and the gut-punch rug-pull ending, are darkly phenomenal, but despite it all it seems to end with just a sliver of hope.

Avengers: Endgame (2019): ah yes. Of course. Here we are. But there are two big reasons why I love this film and its use of time travel. One is the almost Back to the Future way it revisits scenes from previous films. The other is its depiction of time as a solid thing; you can’t change the future by changing the past, you just create other branches of time. This allows them to dick about in the past with impunity, bringing forward the older, eviller versions of characters. And, of course, it has the courage of its convictions to stick with the wild decisions it makes.

Star Trek (from 1966): like Transformers, another series filled with different depictions of time travel. I love the fact that in the future, time travel is relatively commonplace – people know it happens and different ways to accomplish it – but still rare and kinda exciting. Really, though, I want to talk about two films: The Voyage Home and First Contact. Both see our established crews journey to the past, but other than that they’re quite different. There’s a lot of great comedy in Voyage with our heroes navigating the “present day” of 1986; Contact is still set in a future but really uses time travel to examine things about the Federation and our characters. And, let’s face it, the scores of other films and episodes make time travel a fundamental part of Trek.

The Return of Bruce Wayne (2010): just pipping other great time travel epics to the post, we have this brilliant story about Bruce Wayne Quantum Leaping his way through history (and that was another show that only just missed the cut). The notion of Batman being a caveman or a pirate or a cowboy is interesting in and of itself; but the way Grant Morrison seeds in the future history of the character, or grapples with wacky metaphysical concepts, is incredibly entertaining.

[thef1nalb0ss]

Predicting the first winner of the World Heavyweight Championship: an analysis of the top contenders

With the introduction of the World Heavyweight Championship, and the announcement that both Raw and Smackdown talent will be allowed to enter the tournament to crown the first, I'm going to go down the list of some of the most popular predictions and make my own personal prediction.

Seth Rollins

Probably the most popular pick I have seen throughout the IWC, and definitely a deserving one. Seth is the only person Roman has faced for the championship he has not been able to beat. Seth won the championship match they had back at Royal Rumble 2022, but it was won by DQ after Roman hit him with a chair (the same way Seth did to betray Roman all the way back in The Shield days), so champion's advantage applied and Roman kept the title. He's been dominating Raw since then, even having an United States Championship reign before Austin Theory won it back in a triple threat at Survivor Series: Wargames (we'll get to Theory later). His current crowd reactions are unmatched, only rivaled by the resounding boos Dominik gets whenever he picks up a mic. Seth is the most popular pick for a reason. He would elevate that title so it wouldn't be seen as less than to the Undisputed Title, and if we go back to the champion vs. champion model at Survivor Series, he and Roman could put on a hell of a match if they both have the titles then.

Drew McIntyre

Newly on Raw, and maybe newly heel? Drew's match with Wrestlemania match with Gunther and Sheamus is just the most recent example that he has everything a champion needs, and he'd no doubt be a fighting champion. He also deserves to win a world championship in front of a live crowd, something he hasn't yet accomplished. The seeds were planted for a heel turn before his Wrestlemania match, and now that he's been gone for a month, they may have him return as a heel. That is, if he's healthy- Drew's been reportedly working matches with illnesses for a while now, namely working matches with the flu. He may have been given a break after Wrestlemania to rest and heal from lingering illnesses and/or injuries, and it's unknown whether or not he'll be back in time for the tournament.

Finn Balor

Despite a bit of a losing streak with his recent solo matches, being in The Judgement Day has no doubt reinvigorated The Prince. He was the first Universal Champion before having to relinquish it immediately after winning it. The finals of the tournament to crown the first Universal Champion was Finn vs. Seth Rollins, so it's possible they may run that back for the finals of the Heavyweight tournament, and history could repeat itself- just hopefully he doesn't get injured this time.

Cody Rhodes

While this is a possibility with Cody being drafted to Raw, it would be an odd detour. In order for Cody to finish the story now, he has to beat Roman for the titles- anything less is ripping out the ending pages and having it end abruptly. That being said, there's only a few ways the story can end with him beating Roman, since they're on different brands currently, and that's by winning Money in the Bank or the Royal Rumble. They could bend their own draft rules and have Cody challenge Roman despite the brand split, but if they don't, those are the two ways they can go. Now, the Heavyweight is already being called the consolidation prize to Roman's titles, and if Cody wins it, that's only going to be solidified, especially so soon after his loss. Cody winning the Heavyweight is a possibility, but not one I'm particularly fond of.

Austin Theory

The first (and only) star drafted to Smackdown I'm going to talk about is Austin Theory. Since Smackdown talent can compete in the tournament, if he losses the United States Championship at Backlash (and maybe even if he doesn't) it's likely he'll be a part of it. Former Mr. Money in the Bank, 2x United States Champion, and winner against John Cena at Wrestlemania, he's gotten quite a few accomplishments in the short time he's been on the main roster. With his estranged family all drafted over to Raw while he's on Smackdown, he won't have to deal with them either (unless he faces either Johnny or Dexter in the tournament. Then he'll have to deal with them) His accomplishments and the fact that he's a current champion makes him a possibility for being the first Heavyweight champion.

And speaking of current champions...

Gunther

Gunther has been on the main roster for over a year, and in that time, he has never been pinned. As the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion of the past decade, he could be a part of the tournament. However, that would either result in him getting pinned or him winning the Heavyweight, and I don't think they want him to lose his streak yet nor are they looking to make any more double champions in the near future. Nevertheless, he's greatly elevated the Intercontinental Championship, and even if it's not the Heavyweight, I don't think there's any doubt that he'll be a world champion within the next few years.

Dominik Mysterio

Listen, I know what you're thinking, but hear me out. Maybe you saw this coming since I did say the only rival to Seth's crowd reaction was Dominik. But I have my reasons for considering that he could even be a possibility. He gets boos that are so loud he can't even be heard with a mic, and he has the benefit of having The Judgement Day by his side to help him. I agree that he's not ready to hold a world title, but I think he's almost definitely going to be in the tournament.

So, with all this said, who do I think is going to win it?

My top pick is Seth Rollins, and my runner-up picks are Finn Balor and Drew McIntyre. In my opinion, however, I think Seth is the perfect first Heavyweight Champion. There's just no debate for me.

[idontwanttospoiltheparty]

Care to share the John struggling with sexuality findings… feel as if it would nice to learn

Wow this is a HUGE question. I'll try to gather some evidence (I was actually doing a Notion doc on this as a sideproject lmao but it's nowhere near finished)

This is definitely not a complete list (and most of this will be old news to people who've been on here for a while), but it's quite extensive and hopefully helpful to someone who's just starting to research this, I'd say. Also feel free to come back and ask, if you have more specific questions about this once you read this!

Also, when I was almost finished with this post, tumblr froze on me and I hadn't saved the post as a draft and the text couldn't be copy-pasted anymore. I freaked out since this took me hours, but was able to salvage the raw, unformatted, paragraphless text by getting it from the page inspection thingy (pro-tip!). So, I had to reformat everything and add the sources back in (but least the sources on the frozen page were still clickable so I didn't have to go hunting for them again, just had to recopy the links over).

Point is, there might be mistakes in here because of that :(

April 1963 Trip to Barcelona with Brian Epstein:

(here's some background info on the trip if you're not in the know.)

• Pete Shotton, John's childhood friend's account of a conversation with John shortly after the trip (from the book John Lennon: In My Life)

I visited John at Aunt Mimi’s a few days after his return to England. And when he started in about how much he had enjoyed Spain, I could hardly resist taking the piss out of him. “So you had a good time with Brian, then?” I smirked. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

I was somewhat taken aback when John didn’t so much as crack a smile. “Oh, fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “Not you as well, Pete!”

“What do you mean, not me as well?”

“They’re all fucking going on about it.”

“It’s OK, John. Don’t take it so serious. I’m just joking, for Christ’s sake.”

“Actually Pete,” he said softly, “Something did happen with him one night.”

Now that wiped the grin right off my face. Had I even dreamed there might be any truth whatsoever to the rumors, I would never have made light of the subject in the first place. Still – as John surely knew – I would have stood by him, and let the rest of the world handle the business of passing moral judgement, even if he had just told me he’d committed murder. And John would surely have done the same for me.

Which, after all, is what true friendship is all about.

“What happened,” John explained, “is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: ‘Oh, for Christ’s sake, Brian, just stick it up me fucking arse then.’

“And he said to me, ‘Actually, John, I don’t do that kind of thing. That’s not what I like to do.’

“‘Well,’ I said, ‘what is it you like to do, then?’

“And he said, ‘I’d really just like to touch you, John.’

“And so I let him toss me off.”

And that was that. End of story.

“That’s all, John” I said. “Well, so what? What’s the big fucking deal, then?”

“Yeah, so fucking what! The poor bastard. He’s having a fucking hard enough time anyway.” This was in reference to the “butch” dockers who, on several recent occasions, had rewarded Brian’s advances by beating him to a bloody pulp.

“So what harm did it do, then, Pete, for fuck’s sake?” John asked rhetorically. “No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can’t help the way he is.”

Comment: Pretty eyebrow-raising to offer yourself up like that if you don't on some level desire it, but at the same time this plus John's violent reaction to Bob Wooler insinuating something happened weeks later to me indicates he was not feeling very secure and normal about what had happened.

• John himself on the trip (from his 1980 Playboy interview)

I went on holiday to Spain with Brian... which started all the rumors that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But we did have a pretty intense relationship. And it was my first experience with someone I knew was a homosexual. He admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant and we left her with the baby and went to Spain. Lots of funny stories, you know. We used to sit in cafs and Brian would look at all the boys and I would ask, 'Do you like that one? Do you like this one?' It was just the combination of our closeness and the trip that started the rumors.

Comment: "Never consummated" might be consistent with Pete's account if to John "consummation" entailed some form of penetration. It's left to the imagination what John might've meant by "almost a love affair". Also, his interest in how Brian experiences his own sexual orientation is of note, regardless of the extent to which something between him and Brian happened, I'd say.

• John on the trip (from his 1970 Lennon Remembers interview)

Q: Let me ask you about something else that was in the Hunter Davies book. At one point it said you and Brian Epstein went off to Spain.

A: Yes. We didn’t have an affair though. Fuck knows what was said. I was pretty close to Brian. If somebody is going to manage me, I want to know them inside out.

Comment: This is kind of weird to me, because Brian had been signed on as his manager for over a year by April 1963. John wanting to "know him" seems a bit late by this point. He might not be lying though and just genuinely have confused some memories.

• John on attacking Bob Wooler at Paul's 21st birthday party (Interview with Andy Peebles, 1980. I can't for the life of me find a full transcript of this but here's a post transcribing this bit and the audio is on Youtube, I haven't double-checked the transcription though)

The Beatles’ first national coverage was me beating up Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st party because he intimated I was homosexual. I must have had a fear that maybe I was homosexual to attack him like that and it’s very complicated reasoning. But I was very drunk and I hit him and I could have really killed somebody then. And that scared me…

Comment: John is directly expressing that he once doubted his own sexuality. Obviously, this does also slightly read like a denial, in that his use of "must have had a fear" sounds, grammatically, like that fear was perhaps unfounded.

At the same time, can you blame him for backing out of admitting to this, if that's what's going on? I also sort of personally doubt he ever got to a point in his life where he was actually fully comfortable with his attraction to men, and even went through phases where he actively repressed/denied it.

• John on attacking Bob (1971 interview with Peter McCabe & Robert D. Schonfeld)

I remember it, vaguely. I was out of me mind with drink – when you get down to the point where you drink all the empty glasses, that drunk. And he was saying, “Well, come on, John, tell us,” something like that, “Tell me about you and Brian, we all know,” like that. And obviously, I must have been un– uh, f– frightened of the fag in me to get so angry at that. You know, when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man, and all that.

Comment: The same as above, essentially

John and Paul (+ Yoko's suspicions):

• John on his expectations from a romantic/creative partner (1972 Interview with Sandra Shevey)

It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

Comment: Even in a quote technically denying being attracted to men he seems to express a wish for having such a relationship. The last statement kind of feels like at least some part of him wants to hold hands with the men he's worked with.

• John (+ Yoko), when asked about how people perceive his relationship with Yoko, bringing up Paul (Interview with David Scheff 1980; this didn't get printed by Playboy)

JOHN: Well, that’s rubbish, you know. Because nobody controls me. I’m uncontrollable. The only one that can control me is me, and that’s just barely possible. [Yoko laughs] But that’s what life is about. And that’s the lesson I’m learning. Because – nobody ever said anything about Paul having a spell over me, when I was with him for a long time. Or me having a spell over Paul. They didn’t think that was abnormal, two guys together.

YOKO: They might have. [laughs]

JOHN: Or four guys together. In those days? Why didn’t anybody ever say, “How come those guys don’t split up? I mean, what’s going on backstage? I mean, what is that Paul and John business? Why – you know, how can they be together so long?”

Comment: John clearly sees a parallel between JohnandPaul and JohnandYoko (where few saw it) and uses it to demonstrate a hypocrisy he perceives. However, when claiming no one found his and Paul's relationship oddly close, Yoko calls this into question; she appears to disagree with John's assessment that what he and Paul had was "normal". Also, John correcting from it being about two people to about four, only for him to return right back to just him and Paul is of note to me.

• John, on how he feels about his relationship and partnership with Yoko (December 1970, Rolling Stone)

It’s just handy to fuck your best friend. That’s what it is. And once I resolved the fact that it was a woman as well, it’s all right. We go through the trauma of life and death every day so it’s not so much of a worry about what sex we are anymore.

Comment: Just pretty interesting, considering how often he compared Yoko directly to Paul and made allusions to replacing him with her. Also, his comment on having to resolve the fact she was a woman is odd (but he very well might be talking about the role of a "best friend" and deconstructing some type of misogyny that stopped him from opening up to women). John generally had an interesting perspective on the roles of being a friend, a sexual partner, a creative partner and how those intersect.

• John to Paul reflecting on the songs they've been writing for the Get Back sessions (Get Back sessions, January 24th, here's the audio, I don't have a link to the video. It's in episode 2 or 3 of Get Back though)

PAUL: It’s like, uh, “We have to get back.” “We’re on our way home.”

JOHN: Yeah.

PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing—

JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers.

PAUL: [reserved] Yeah. [pause]

JOHN: We’ll just have to camp it up for those two.

PAUL: Yeah. Well, I’ll be wearing my skirt for the show, anyway.

Comment: Paul not flatout laughing at the comment kind of makes it seem like the vibe John was giving off here wasn't a joke (Paul knowing him well, would probably have a better feel for this than we do). But I will say that Paul during this period generally seems to have had trouble reading John and his emotions.

• Yoko on John and Paul (from the book John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman, which Yoko later revoked her endorsement from)

From chance remarks he had made, she [Yoko] gathered there had even been a moment when—on the principle that bohemians should try everything—he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul’s immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John’s Princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John’s voice calling out “Paul … Paul …” in a strangely subservient, pleading way. “I knew there was something going on there,” she remembers. “From his point of view, not from Paul’s. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn’t help wondering what it was really about.”

Comment: I've already talked about how problematic and ambiguous this passage is but the basic gist of it is quite clear: Yoko felt justified in suspecting John had sexual feelings for Paul. She had reason to believe she wasn't the only one suspecting this.

Misc. other things John (allegedly) said on this topic:

• Yoko on her and John discussing the terms of an open marriage in 1973 (John Lennon: The Life)

There was even some discussion, albeit not very serious, of whether he should stick to his own gender. “John said ‘It would hurt you like crazy if I made it with a girl. With a guy, maybe you wouldn’t be hurt, because that’s not competition. But I can’t make it with a guy because I love women too much, and I’d have to fall in love with the guy and I don’t think I can.’”

Comment: It's odd of John to suggest going out with a man if he doesn't actually want to, isn't it? We're also missing any hint of how Yoko reacted to the suggestion so this passage is eyebrow-raising to say the least. Especially given that Yoko appears to have had suspicions about John and Paul. It's not unreasonable to assume he backed out the moment Yoko showed some resistance towards the idea.

• John mixing up pronouns when reflecting on his partnership with Yoko (1971 Peter McCabe/Robert D. Schonfeld)

And it was like finding gold or something. To find somebody that you can go and get pissed with, and have exactly the same relationship as any mate in Liverpool you’d ever had, but also you could go to bed with him, and – it could stroke your head when you felt tired, or sick, or depressed. It could also be Mother. And obviously, that’s what the male-female – you know, you could take those roles with each other. And if the intellect’s there, [and] you know, compatible, well it’s just like – we’re in the pools.

Comment: I don't usually like to put too much weight on misspeaking because I think it happens without much reason most of the time. However, John saying "him" and then switching to "it", and not bothering to explicitly correct himself is interesting. He also barely falters, doesn't laugh about the mistake. It doesn't appear to be a normal instance of misspeaking to me because of this.

• John talking about what he aspired to be as a teen (I'm not actually sure what interview this clip originates from but it appears to be from 1975)

I was thinking, if only I could get out of Liverpool, be famous and rich, that would be great. I’ve always wanted to be a famous artist, you know? Possibly I’d have to marry a very rich old lady… or man, you know… to… to look after me while I did my art. But then Rock & Roll came and I thought ‘Ah, this is the one’, so I didn’t have to marry anybody or live with them, you know?

Comment: John openly suggesting he wanted to marry a man at some point.

• John in an interview during the "Lost Weekend" on all the press coverage his split from Yoko was getting at the time. (December 1975 interview with Lisa Robinson)

Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know– I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.

Comment: Here, he is openly admitting to wanting people to think he is gay. It does seem to be quite a jokey tone though. Still, not the most common joke for straight people to make.

• John, interviewing himself, bringing up bisexuality (Andy Warhol's magazine, 1974)

Q. I’m sorry. Just a few more questions MR. LENNON, I’m sure you understand I have a deadline… my editor… etc..

A. Alright then, GET ON WITH IT!

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually 'keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

Q. It seems like you’re saving quite a lot for when you’re 40..

Comment: Honestly, the awareness of bisexuality currently being trendy and bringing it up is extremely interesting to me, as someone who has accused myself of faking my own sexuality for attention. It makes it seem like this is not something he took lightly, even if he is joking about it here.

There's also something on Tony Manero who openly claimed John came onto him multiple times and called him bisexual but I've heard that people have had trouble confirming he's a real person I think (?), so I didn't include it. You can read his account here though.

As I've said, this list isn't comprehensive, there's a few more anecdotes that I've either seen people mention but haven't come across the original source yet or stuff other people see as compelling evidence that I don't agree is relevant. Also, of course, I might have forgotten some things.

Here's some other places you can check out, off the top of my head:

My John speculation tag

My John-Paul speculation tag

My John-Brian tag

@thecoleopterawithana's "I'm not a homosexual" tag

@amoralto's oh john and awkward best friend talk placeholder tags

[hieromonkcharbel]

St John Chrysostom on he five paths of repentance

Shall I list the paths of repentance? There are certainly many of them, many and various, and all of them lead to heaven.

The first path is the path of condemnation of sins. As Isaiah says, Tell your sins, and you will be acquitted. And the Psalmist adds: I said “I will bear witness against myself before the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. So you, too must condemn the sins you have committed. Condemn them, and that condemnation will excuse you in front of the Lord, since whoever condemns the sins he has committed will be slower to commit them next time. Stir up your own conscience to be your accuser – so that when you come before the judgement-seat of the Lord no-one will rise up to accuse you.

This is the first path of repentance but the second is in no way inferior to it in excellence. It is to forget the harm done to us by our enemies, to master our anger, to forgive the sins of those who are slaves together with us. As much as we do this, so much will our own sins against the Lord be forgiven. So this is the second path to the expiation of our sins. As the Lord says, Yes, if you forgive others their failings, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours.

Would you like to know the third path of repentance? It is prayer: fervent prayer, sincere and focused prayer, prayer coming from the depths of the heart.

If you want to know the fourth path, I will tell you it is the giving of alms. It has great power.

And finally, if someone acts with modesty and humility, that path is no less effective as a way to deprive sin of its substance. Look at the publican, who had no good deeds to speak of. In place of good deeds he offered humility, and the huge burden of his sins fell away.

So now I have shown you the five paths of repentance. First, condemnation of sins. Second, forgiving the sins of those near us. Third, prayer. Fourth, almsgiving. Fifth, humility.

So do not be idle, but every day advance along all these paths at once. They are not hard paths to follow. Poverty is no excuse for not setting out on the journey. Even if you are destitute you can do all these things: put aside anger, carry humility in front of you, pray hard, condemn your sins. Poverty is no obstacle – not even to that path of penitence that demands money: that is, almsgiving. Remember the story of the widow’s mite.

Now we have learnt the right way to heal our wounds, let us apply these remedies. Let us regain true health and confidently receive the blessings of Holy Communion. Thus we may come, filled with glory, to the glory of Christ’s kingdom, and receive its eternal joys through the grace, mercy and kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ.

[worldsover]

A mini writer survey for you! What is…

* Your first ever published work?

* A writer who’s influenced you the most?

* Your most popular work?

* Your favorite published work (and why)?

* And if you could rewrite/remake any of your works, which one (and why?)

Mini Writer Survey For... Me?!

You got me. There's nothing more that I like writing about than myself.

First

My first published work is Sway ft. Hayoung, posted on Tumblr on November 18, 2020. I read back on this work and realize that though I've learned a lot when it comes to writing style and editing, it's still a well-written story of which I'm proud.

Influenced

There are obvious answers here but my answer to who's influenced me the most is @mintwithchoco, whose ask to @nsfwtwicecatcher (one of the obvious answers for having been my foray into this community) inspired me to start writing my first draft, Dal Segno ft Chuu, started at November 10, 2020.

But the real answer? @worldsover influenced me the most. Sorry.

Seriously though, I strive first and foremost to write in my own voice but also, as I mention in this ask, a lot of my reading outside of smut influences me. My endeavor always is that this helps shape me into something more unique.

Popular

My most popular work is obviously Head of the Company ft. SinB, YooA, Eunbi, Ryujin. It indulges many different fanbases with a variety of different personalities, earning it 378 notes at the time of this ask. My next ones would be:

Upper Floor Lower ft Lia (323 notes) — This one legitimately surprises me. I know ITZY is popular, but damn.

Neither Here Nor There ft. Karina, Winter (285 notes)

BarelyLegalGirls2021Scene9.mov.exe ft. Jiheon (275 notes)

Quickie - Too Far for Two (Yeri, Nayeon) (260 notes) — This is my most popular quickie! Also obvious, considering it involves two of the biggest girl groups.

“VAA201 Assignment 3: Compare and Contrast — Sex Portrayed in Three Forms of Media” ft. Chaeyoung, Mina (244 notes) — Again, surprised at this one considering how experimental it is, but Twice is popular too.

I'm proud of the variety I have in these top stories and look forward to more breaching this list.

Favorite

My strongest prose, story, character has to be my recent The Yarn We Spin ft. Gyuri, while my most interesting setting (and funniest) is Judgement to the Desiccated ft. Karina. I waver between choosing the weirder ones like VAA201 and The Curse of the Spider ft. Jiu, or the straight up hotter ones like Head of the Company and Wintertide Inside ft. Gahyeon, though I'm clearly very proud of all my stories because I've almost managed to create a second masterlist in this one post. (I'm sure that says more about the petite size of my oeuvre.) But in terms of personal enjoyment, my absolute favorite is New Home ft. Yena. Funny how that one is just a rework of Peach's quickie, so he probably is my actual biggest influence.

Edit:

If you meant other stories, I'm literally always going to mention @byxntaes / RatedKPop - The Arrangement (Minji & Yoohyeon). And if you meant other stories outside of that, I'll have to go with East of Eden by John Steinbeck, but if you'd rather some sci-fi, House of Suns by Alastair Reynolds. Also Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell by Susanna Clarke is shaping up to be my favorite in fantasy, though I'm still in progress.

Rework

I say I'm proud of all my stories, but to this day, I regret having split Dal Segno the way I did, creating an unfinished sequel in Fermata. I lament this often because I've been stuck in the process of rewriting (even more frustrating than being stuck writing!) I also don't think the smut itself is as well-written as my usual, which I'll attribute to both of them being incomplete parts of my very first smut written.

[electronicgrowth]

Can't Get Enough Part 6

Hello. Yes, I am alive and still writing this. I have an autoimmune disease that flared and knocked me on my butt, on top of preparing to move. So, I’m crazy busy! But don’t you worry my little dumplings. I haven’t forgotten about Lee and Billie. And I just realized I left that last chapter on the biggest cliff hanger ever. I’m so mean! 

But anyway..... this is a small filler chapter that I had been dragging to write. Literally wanting to add this stuff was what prevented me from posting. I have probably the next five chapters written. Also if you ever need a good Sheriff Bodecker fix, I highly recommend this playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7FDbgUjCGtBPsDNiTf8OdF?si=bfce63e832764c34

Summary: The two most stubborn people in Knockemstiff, Ohio have eyes for only each other. Lee Bodecker is determined to become the town’s next sheriff. He knows that image is everything. Billie Dechswaan doesn’t care about her image at all. All she wants is to leave Knockemstiff and never come back. But Lee has other plans for her. Both are far too stubborn to give up their own plans. What happens when they can’t get enough of each other? 

Word Count: 1.1k

After five years, Lee was done waiting. His patience for Billie to return home on her own was wearing thin. Even thinner since Arvin Russell had shot Lee and escaped him. He’d withstood far too many humiliations. 

John had been a throne in his side since Billie left. Always giving Lee dirty looks. John did not vote for Deputy Bodecker to become Sheriff Bodecker and convinced most of his farming friends to follow his lead. 

Joy was a completely different story. She still let Lee in the house when he came over. After the first two years Joy would make off-handed comments about Billie. It led him to believe that maybe Joy knew more than she was letting on. But he didn’t want to press it. He needed to have Joy firmly on his side when Billie came home. Lee’s fondness for Joy did nothing to deter his revenge plans upon her husband. 

He decided to pay some men to tamper with the brakes of John’s car. Two local guys from a couple of towns overs, he had caught soliciting prostitutes— both were married. Lee promised to keep their secret if they did this one thing for him. He told them it was the car of some other dirtbag criminal to cover his tracks. The action would kill two birds with one stone. Lee would have his revenge on John for making Billie leave like she did and Billie would have to come home for the funeral. 

Billie got a job as a librarian. She had and kept her baby. She named her Elizabeth Joy Bodecker. Against her better judgement she listed Lee on the birth certificate. She tried to move on, but always thought of Lee. She hated her job and how much it kept her from her daughter. She just wanted to be home with her amazing, lovely baby. She started dating a new guy, Larry. She didn’t like him that much, but it soon became clear that Larry intended to keep her. He hit her for the smallest infractions and beat her for bigger ones. 

Billie savored her moments with her daughter when it was just the two of them. Her favorite thing to do on Sundays was cook with Beth. Beth would sit on the counter as Billie did all the real work. The radio would be going. Billie would sing sad love songs to her baby, sometimes they would even dance to the music. Billie would swing Beth around the kitchen, all while Beth giggled uncontrollably. These were Billie’s favorite moments. Beth would ask about her daddy. Billie would say the same thing each time. “Daddy was the love of Mommy’s life. He was a great man. But sometimes life leads us in different directions.” It wasn’t the best thing to say, but what else could be said? 

Billie almost ran home five times in the course of those five years. The first time was shortly after Beth was born. She was colicky and wouldn’t latch. Billie needed her mama, or her sister, or her Lee. She called the Ross County Police Department and asked to speak with Lee one evening. The receptionist put her through. 

“Bodecker,” he’d answered gruffly. His voice. She had to cover the receiver with a dish towel so he couldn’t hear her sobs. 

“Hello?” He growled. Just when she almost spoke he hung up. 

The second time was on Beth’s first birthday. She regretted how different her daughter’s first birthday was from all the ways she imagined it should be. She missed Lee.

The third and fourth time she almost went home were after fights with Larry. She thought if she couldn’t get out she’d lose it. But she wasn’t as trapped as she felt. Not really. Surely if she called Lee he’d hightail it up to New York and bring her home. A part of her didn’t want to test that theory. What if he didn’t want her anymore? 

The fifth and final time Billie almost went home was when Lee got shot. Sylvia’s husband Tim was a deputy. Sylvia told Billie what had happened. The news had been an icy shock to her veins. It took everything in her not to pack her bags that night. It took all her willpower not to drive through the night to get to Lee and take care of him. She carefully directed Sylvia on Lee’s favorite foods and told her younger sister to make sure he was being fed. Billie knew Sylvie was rolling her eyes, they didn’t need to be together for her to know that. Sylvie did it anyway. She also relayed how grateful Lee had been. But that he seemed a bit suspicious, Sylvie had no way of knowing what his favorite foods were without Billie telling her. 

The sixth time Billie felt drawn to go home she listened to her gut. On that night, Larry had beaten her again, this time in public. They’d been out on a date. Billie had left Beth with the elderly neighbor lady across the hall. She intended to break-up with Larry that night. But as she began to broach the subject, he flipped their table at the restaurant and threw her on the ground. He proceeded to kick her repeatedly until the manager was able to restrain him. The police were called and she went down to their station to give her statement.

She’d stumbled home from the police station, bruised and tired. Thankfully the bruises were kept to places she could hide, and thankfully he’d done it in public that time so he was caught. Larry was being held in jail. What he did was undeniable. They would probably hold him for a week or two and let the charges drop. As she entered her apartment, the phone rang. She didn’t want to pick up, she wanted to get Beth from her neighbor and go to sleep. She picked up anyway.

“Hello?” 

“B-Billie,” Clara said, “It’s daddy. He’s d-dead.” 

Shock. Dread. Despair. How do you describe the feeling of losing your father forever? Especially with so many words unsaid. No apologies uttered. A situation completely unresolved. Was it guilt? Was it anger? No. It was only sorrow. 

“How?” 

“Car wreck. Come home.” And then the line went dead. Billie was out of options. She knew what she had to do. It was just going to be very unpleasant.

Joy was a wreck, but Sylvia, being the good and dutiful daughter that she was, helped her mother through planning a funeral. The last thing on her mind was communicating with Billie. The funeral was held one week after the accident. Billie managed to break her lease, sell her furniture and pack her bags in just four days. She was running again. But this time she was running home. 

@greeneyedblondie44 @bxnnywriting @kitty4860

[saharamae21]

Hero (JJ Maybank Imagine) - Disney Day Three

Hey guys! Day Three of my 30 Day Disney Challenge is here! This challenge is going to be 30 days of imagines inspired by Disney songs. I’m really excited to be doing this and I promise I will try to stay more on top of it than I did with my last challenge.

These are not song fics, but imagines inspired by songs.

Day Three (October 30th) - Hero (Unplugged) (Starstruck) - JJ Imagine

Word Count : 1499 Words

Sorry I thought I had this queued to post and apparently I did not.

________________________________________________________

Even though JJ and you didn’t always get along, you knew that he was the only one you could talk to. The other Pogues always had amazing home lives and you didn’t want them to look at you any differently. Deep down, you knew that they wouldn’t, but you always worried anyways. JJ was the one exception. He was tortured at home and he was loyal to a tee. He would never tell anyone your secret.

The day that you finally told him what was going on was intense. You had gone through the ringer at home and hid at the beach to calm down. The sand burned against your skin, but you had to come up with a plan to explain to your friends how you got these bruises. Usually you only had to lie about one or two, but today your skin was painted in this ugly shade black and blue. Tears were slipping rapidly down your face as you hugged your knees to your chest. How would you explain this to your friends?

When JJ got to the beach he was already in a bad mood. He thought taking the day off from his friends would help clear his head, but then he saw you out of the corner of his eyes. He scoffed at first, knowing that the happy-go-lucky girl would run up to him as soon as you noticed he was there. He had two options, say hi before you had the chance to annoy him or ignore you completely. He sighed, knowing the right thing to do. Even though you could annoy him, he still had a soft spot for you.

As he walked up, he heard your sniffling. It shocked him to see you like this because the only version he had ever seen of you was bubbly and filled with bliss. He never thought you could be like this. Then the bruises caught his eye. His breath hitched as he put two and two together. The way you fidgeted when John B asked how you got the bruises. The dismissiveness and resent in your voice when they would ask if you were okay. It all made sense now. He was angry at himself for not noticing sooner.

“Y/n?” he asked softly. Your heart stopped as he said your name. You had been caught red handed. You turned your head slowly to look at him. Tears cascaded down your face as he saw the real you for the first time. He didn’t know whether to reach forward and hug you or to call Kiara. She was always better with the emotional stuff than him. He sensed that you needed him right now though. He took a seat next to you and said nothing.

“I’m fine JJ,” you muttered softly. You didn’t look at him when you said that. You couldn’t bring yourself too. The embarrassment was too intense to look him in the eyes.

“You don’t look fine…” he awkwardly said back. You bursted out into tears as he said that. He cursed under his breath, wishing that he knew how to handle the situation. He remembered what Kie always did when he was distressed and pulled you into a hug. It was awkward at first. JJ and you had never hugged before in your two years of friendship, but as soon as your arms slipped around him and your face burrowed into his shoulder, all the awkwardness dispersed. His hands found the way to your back and held you tightly. With you in his arms, it was like he could read your mind all of the sudden. He could tell you anything that you wanted or needed to hear. “You’re okay now. I won’t let anyone else hurt you.”

After you settled down a little bit, he released you from his hold. He let you explain what it was like at home. He listened as you told him your fears about the others knowing. Every word you said, made sense to him. He went through the exact same thing, only he was more cynical than you could ever be.

“I had no idea. You always seemed so cheerful,” he muttered. It made you happy that he thought you were cheerful.

“Whenever I’m sad, I always promise to myself that I’ll be happier and work harder,” you explained. You never wanted anyone to know that your life was hard. You didn’t want the people you cared about most to worry about you when they all had so much on their plates already. “Don’t tell the others, okay?”

You watched him nod sadly. He knew that there was no point of trying to convince you. He had been there before and even though the Pogues wouldn’t treat you any differently, it didn’t erase the fear and guilt. Plus he kind of liked the idea of a secret that only he knew about.

That night when you guys went back to the Chateau, you had forgotten to make up a story to tell you friends. Kiara ran up to you immediately and asked if you were okay. JJ shoved her back a little bit, not allowing her to get a closer look.

“I was teaching her how to surf and she took a huge fall,” he muttered. “She’s still shaken up so give her some space.”

You stared at him as he lied for you. The both of you knew that if she looked closer the story wouldn’t add up quite as well. You smiled at him as he tossed you one of his hoodies to hide some of the marks. You slipped it on and grinned at the soft smell of him that lingered on the fabric. The more he did for you, the closer you two got. You could feel yourself falling for him. It was as unstoppable as gravity.

A few weeks passed and JJ spent more and more time with you. Usually he would get annoyed with you after a while, but now he made it his own mission to make sure you didn’t get hurt. Every time you would cry, he would tell you about how the two of you could get out of the OBX. He would fill your head with ideas of Mexico, but realistically, he would take you anywhere you wanted to go as soon as he had the money to do so. He wanted to be your hero.

One night, he was caught up at work. The chateau was a little too crowded and you were feeling a little overwhelmed. Over your better judgement, you went back home for the night. The place was a mess and your dad sat on the couch with a beer in hand. You looked at your feet as you explained where you had been. He told you that he didn’t care and told you to get him another beer. Your voice was shaky, but something about JJ made you realize that you didn’t have to stand for this. Even though the two of you were ordinary people with just a heart and soul, you could stop this. You told him no for the first time in your life.

The rest of it happened so quickly. His fist hitting your cheek. His hand wrapping around your throat. Your gasps for air as he threw you to the ground. You listened to him yell at you to get out. He didn’t have to tell you twice. You ran quickly out the door, but right into JJ’s body. He had heard from J.B. that you went home and had come to check on you. Your arms slipped around him and you sobbed into his chest, still trying to catch your breath. His heart stopped as you clung to him. If only he left work on time, maybe you wouldn’t have gone home. He placed a kiss on your forehead and muttered apologies over and over, even though none of this was his fault.

He snuck you back into his house. It was similar to yours, messy and unkempt. You didn’t mind though. He shut the bedroom door behind him and turned on the light, seeing the bruising for the first time. Your neck was purple where your dad had grabbed you. The more he looked at it, the angrier he got. He was angry at you for going home. He was angry at your dad for doing this to you. However, he was the angriest at himself for not being there. He wiped away your tears carefully and stared at your broken face.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly. It broke his heart that you were in so much pain and you still felt like you had to apologize to him. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours, telling you that you never had to be sorry when it came to him. He would always be there for you, no matter what. He would be everything you ever needed.

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[doomonfilm]

Ranking : Gus Van Sant (1952-present)

I was somewhat familiar with Gus Van Sant prior into taking the deep dive through his catalog, but he was certainly a man that I thought I had a handle on.  I knew he had more than a few amazing films under his belt, but the recent years had not been kind to him (see the shot taken at him in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).  I knew that he was from the Pacific Northwest (Oregon specifically), and his coming of age in an area that embraces weirdos and outsiders had an impact on him as a human and as a creator.  I knew that films like Milk and Good Will Hunting had taken Van Sant to the highest heights, while the collective panning of films like Psycho and Last Days served as valleys in a career full of glorious peaks.

What I came to discover, however, was a man with genuine creative integrity, and lots of it.  I found a director who understood his characters and actors on a human level, and shared them with viewers in ways that helped rich connections develop.  I saw a director who was not afraid to make those that society often considers outcasts the  emotionally rich and important centers of his narratives.  I watched Gus Van Sant present, explore, develop and refine his style over deeply independent and infamously studio-driven projects, giving all experiences as much care and attention as he was able.  I saw films I was familiar with find placement behind films I was new to, I discovered that his recent creative years have not been as kind to him as the first two-thirds of his career, and I can see that there still may be a bit of a smolder left in his creative fire.  

Ranking directors is a labor of love, but by no means do I consider myself the definitive professional on film canon.  I enjoyed all of the Gus Van Sant films I watched on some level, and as always, for those brave enough to interact, I’d be curious to see where you would make adjustments to the list.  But enough introduction talk, let’s get into what you folks came for!

17. Restless (2011) There are things about Restless that I want to love without judgement.  First and foremost, Mia Wasikowska is an absolute treasure who shines in this performance from the earlier portion of her career.  The portrayal of Hiroshi is one of the more subtle, substanced and interesting ways of using a ghost within the film framework.  As minor a thing as it may be to the casual moviegoer, some of this film’s technical aspects are astounding, specifically the costuming and the lighting choices.  Where the film distracts me, and therefore drops in these rankings, is where it takes the YA approach to the romantic drama, with a healthy dose of manic pixie dream girl energy thrown in for good measure.  When it comes to displaying romance on-screen, be it teenage or otherwise, there are no expectations, even for a director with a distinct style.  Where my issues arise are in the way that death is handled in this film… while I do understand that not every film has to be a distinct statement for a director (especially a film written by another individual), Gus Van Sant had already established a very mature approach to the subject of death, and the way that death and the manic pixie dream girl aspects are intertwined feels more on the amateur side than I am comfortable with for a Gus Van Sant film.  Maybe giving the impossibly troubled young man a muse with an expiration date as his way to find the best version of himself is a stroke of genius that provides a gateway for deep commentary on the concept of the manic pixie dream girl, but the film is so approachable and not the type to bare teeth (be it satirically or otherwise) that I doubt there is any subtext to its intention.  For that reason, this film finds itself on the bottom half of the Van Sant canon.

16. Don't Worry, He Won't Get Far on Foot (2018) After the critical and box office disappointment that was The Sea of Trees, director Gus Van Sant had quite the hill to climb with his next film, and with his adaptation of Don’t Worry, He Won’t Get Far on Foot, it seemed he was able to right those respective ships.  Strangely, the film failed to connect with me, and as far as I can tell, it seems to be the victim of an “all sizzle, no steak” scenario.  The film is certainly a showcase of a very diverse cast, and based on both the flashback-based and group therapy approach to the story, there are a wealth of opportunities to create memorable moments.  Unfortunately, and perhaps due to an oversight on my end, I failed to find enough substance during my viewing of the film to prop up the parade of moments.  What it felt like I was left with, sadly, was a Simple Jack-level approach to conveying a paraplegic-centered story, which undercut the fact that the film is actually telling the true story of cartoonist, artist and musician John Callahan.  That’s not to say that the film doesn’t have it’s positive aspects, such as the John Callahan illustrations and the animated versions of his work, but those positive aspects feel sparse in comparison to how much the film relishes in what feels like Oscar bait.  If nothing else, see this film for Jonah Hill, because it took me much longer than it should have to recognize him, partly due to his impressive weight loss and partly due to how dedicated he is to achieving the film’s period look.

15. The Sea of Trees (2015) Death is no stranger in the films of Gus Van Sant, but I don’t feel that it would be bold to state The Sea of Trees deals with death in the most direct manner.  For those that subscribe to grief having stages, this film accounts for all of them in some way, shape or form during the course of the narrative as we watch Arthur Brennan fall apart and rediscover himself in the wake of losing Joan Brennan, his wife.  Placing the film in Aokigahara (aka the "Japanese suicide forest") not only gives the film a sense of natural beauty, but a foreboding sense of dread and despair as well.  The core cast is as strong as any found in a Van Sant film, with Matthew McConaughey, Ken Watanabe and Naomi Watts all turning in solid performances.  Sadly, the film falters in one very core aspect : sympathy for the protagonist.  I found myself feeling very bad for Joan Brennan as I watched her arc, and despite knowing nothing about Watanabe’s character portrayal of Takumi Nakamura, I found myself sympathetic to him based solely on what he was emoting.  Arthur Brennan, however, is interesting in all the wrong ways… he is extremely cold and purposefully flat when introduced, the moments we share with the Brennans only seem to show Arthur finding joy at the expense of Joan’s pride, his view of the loss of his wife (and his world view in general) seem to be extremely self-centered, and when he does show heroic attributes they are rooted solely in self-preservation.  Perhaps if Van Sant had not already made such eloquent reflections on death via The Death Trilogy and Paranoid Park, The Sea of Trees could have been seen in a different light, but when you set such a high bar for your work, returning to stereotypical storytelling can feel flat and uninspired.

14. Last Days (2005) Last Days is a film with a weird energy and aura surrounding it… in some ways, it feels like the most performative film not only of the Death Trilogy, but out of the entire Gus Van Sant catalog.  At the risk of using too negative an adjective, it also feels the most exploitive, though neither of these observations are necessarily meant to be a knock against the film.  The Death Trilogy could not help but be exploitive at its root, as each film was inspired by an infamous death event, and with Michael Pitt’s Blake meant to be an avatar for Kurt Cobain, it would be simple to take the film at face value for some sort of glamourized and idealized fictional retelling of his tragic final moments, not to mention a few stylistic nods to iconic Cobain-related imagery.  What that viewer would be missing, in my opinion, is a film looking to make some familiar points on outsider culture (specifically alternative rock and roll counterculture and addict culture) minus all the glamour and shine.  While Blake’s house is grand, it’s decrepit and in a state of disrepair… despite it being isolated, expected and unexpected guests arrive constantly, not to mention an intrusive ringing phone that connects Blake to outworld obligations… Blake has a number of people living with him, but he almost never interacts with them.  Michael Pitt is done up to look so similar to Kurt Cobain that much of the narrative background is implied, and what we are left with is the Death Trilogy style implemented and fused onto a loose leaf narrative with just enough structure to let the supporting actors have isolated memorable moments while we watch Pitt’s Blake decay in the ways that many of us Cobain fans ruminated on in the wake of his sudden and tragic death at the height of his tortured popularity.

13. Gerry (2002) At the risk of sounding cliché, Gerry may be the most fascinating film in Gus Van Sant’s canon.  It marks a clear and definitive break in convention from a director that seemingly never cared too much for convention anyway.  Multiple aspects of this film make it extremely unique : both characters referring to one another by the same name (though Gerry eventually evolves into an all-purpose non-specific descriptor), a seemingly absent narrative, a shared goal between the characters literally referred to as “the thing” in order to purposely keep viewers in the dark and, perhaps most importantly, a deliberately methodical pacing that pushes even seasoned film lovers to the limits of their patience.  The film is beautiful, and that is a fact that cannot be denied… the painterly shot compositions of our characters in the isolated desert, the unfathomably long tracking shots that pull us deeper off the beaten path and the sonic stillness (due to a largely absent score that is replaced with the sounds of nature) either commit you fully to the experiment or come off as massively pretentious.  To view the film through that secondary lens, however, is to miss the point of it all.  Once it is understood that Gerry marked the entry point for Gus Van Sant’s Death Trilogy, you began to realize that Van Sant, in tandem with Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, are giving us an understanding of how we should view the trilogy, and how open-minded we should be in processing what is given to us, like some early high-concept version of what Quentin Dupieux would later go on to master in a more abstract manner.

12. Mala Noche (1985) It’s fitting that this was a feature-length debut from a driven and working director, as it has a very distinct look and feel to it that immediately lets you know you’re dealing with an innate storyteller and someone who has spent time observing the human condition.  In terms of visual and narrative balance, Gus Van Sant utilizes what feels like a mix of John Cassavetes and Jack Kerouac, respectively.  Van Sant’s use of titles in the film is striking, specifically in terms of the handwritten opening credits and the Dr. Pepper ad copy used to subtitle the Spanish language dialogue.  Focusing so heavily on immigration and homosexuality in 1985 is a bold choice, especially as neither group had yet to benefit (even if only minimally) from the onset of politically correct culture policing.  While the film was more than likely shot in black and white due to budgetary constraints, the infusion of somewhat modern elements (for the time) gives it a youthful and forward-thinking energy.  Having a film of this nature lean so heavily on multilingual and multicultural elements is refreshing, and even more impactful when examined under the boorish and (at times) tone deaf application that humanizes these elements.  For all of these aspects of the film, however, when examined at the pure narrative foundation, what we find is a story about how love can blind us from the reality we inhabit, and how we often choose to ignore the obvious when romance and romanticism enters the picture.

11. Psycho (1998) Of all the films in the Van Sant catalog, perhaps the bravest, boldest and most baffling entry is his nearly shot for shot remake of the iconic Alfred Hitchcock thriller and cinematic game changer Psycho.  Remakes were certainly not a new or unheard of practice at the time of the Van Sant Psycho release, but most directors opt to put significant twists or updates into their retelling of most remakes, and most films chosen do not hold the lofty stature and position that Psycho does when it comes to remakes.  Van Sant’s approach not only made viewers keenly aware of just how direct the homage was, but in some places, modern touches were added in very subtle ways to make the movie more palatable for modern audiences, including more salacious references to sexuality, sound design choices in both the diegetic and symbolic realm, and even an update or two to iconic scenes meant to make us much more uneasy with the Vince Vaughn portrayal of Norman Bates.  The actors cast were all famous and respected enough to keep the film’s timeless feeling in-tact, even if the remake could be taken as its own weird and warped project.  Personally, I’ve always loved this remake, and taken it as an experiment on the highest commercial level, and a signal to all that Van Sant (at the time) was done with the traditional approach to filmmaking and concepting.

10. Paranoid Park (2007) While many movies centered around skateboarding spend their time and design budget trying to make the outsider nature of the practice look “cool”, Paranoid Park spends its time making sure that the isolation, deep focus and rebellious attitude that come with skateboarding were more authentic than they were appealing.  High school is already a very taxing and polarizing section of juvenile development, and based on your perception at the time, the weight that the world unloads on you can feel wholly unbearable.  Perhaps this is what makes Paranoid Park such a tense film… that natural teenage angst is already imprinted into the film (and amplified due to the casting of relative unknowns), but Gus Van Sant’s signature use of alternative film stocks, obscure soundtrack and expressive, layered sound design but you square in Alex’s head from the opening moments.  As the narrative unfolds, we realize that Alex is not only dealing with standard-issue teen stress, but has unwillingly found himself involved in the type of events that change an individual’s world.  This film plays well as the first film post-Death Trilogy, as it deals with the gravity of mortality head-on much like the aforementioned three films, but does so from an adaptive stance rather than one based on true events.  If you’re a fan of skater flicks, movies with strong teen acting, or little-known Gus Van Sant gems, then Paranoid Park is a gem waiting for discovery.

9. Finding Forrester (2000) Gus Van Sant has always had a way with stories that dive below the surface of the human experience and condition, so it makes sense that his attempt at a New York-based movie about people living in “the hood” would cover an array of topics with masterful subtlety, specifically the topics of race relations, generational gaps and the blurry line between education and exploitation.  The casting on this film is extremely strong… then newcomer Rob Brown gives a riveting and dynamic lead performance, it’d be harder to cast a more perfect curmudgeon than Sean Connery, and appearances by F. Murray Abraham, Anna Paquin, Busta Rhymes and a Matt Damon cameo all stand out.  Speaking of Damon, Finding Forrester shares a similar energy to Good Will Hunting, but the proximity of release ultimately held Finding Forrester from finding its proper audience (no pun intended).  I wish I had more to say about this film outside of my personal feelings and connections to the story (which I will save for a dedicated deep dive in the future), but Finding Forrester is one of those films that has no trouble speaking for itself.

8. Promised Land (2012) As of the point that this blog post was created, this film stands as the last of the great Van Sant creations.  There is something about the Gus Van Sant approach to filmmaking that works best with “salt of the Earth” types, and with Promised Land being centered around the practice of fracking, much of that down-home nature is immediately baked into the story.  Speaking of the story, the film was co-written by the characters who ended up being the protagonist and antagonist of the picture, respectfully, which created an electric main dynamic that served as the spine for many other strong dynamics present in the film.  In terms of the cinematography, much of Van Sant’s bold approaches and stylistic shifts are absent, save for a few beautiful bird’s eye view perspective shots that give you a real idea of what rural America looks like.  Van Sant is no stranger to stacked casts, but he gets some truly top notch names to take part in this affair, and true to the clout behind these names, the performances are as stellar as they are believable and natural.  The film also touched a nerve with the actual oil industry due to some of its comments on fracking, despite it not having the reach or success of other Van Sant films.  While possibly an indicator that Van Sant would be making a stylistic shift, Promised Land still manages to capture what makes Van Sant his best self in terms of not only presenting real people, but topical and important situations.

7. Milk (2008) Gus Van Sant is clearly no stranger to having representation for the gay community in his films, so it makes sense that one of the hallmark films in his canon would center around gay rights activist and politician Harvey Milk.  Much like JFK crystalized Oliver Stone, or Spike Lee was raised to another echelon by Malcolm X, Van Sant found a second round of Academy Award-level validation via this biopic while solidifying himself as a creative who could go back and forth effortlessly between big budget studio films and independent projects.  With Sean Penn giving one of his signature chameleon-like performances and leading the pack, this Van Sant production is filled with tons of burgeoning talent who have since gone on to make names for themselves in the industry, including the likes of Emile Hirsch, Diego Luna, James Franco, Alison Pill and others, plus a standout performance from Josh Brolin (who also depicted George W. Bush in the same year for the aforementioned Stone).  While it may not be the most technically marveling film of Van Sant’s career, it is clearly one of his most important, and the way that it handles the messages it intends to share is as confident as it is even-keeled, which is important for a film that could have easily become a soapbox for espousing personal beliefs and political agendas.

6. Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1993) This Gus Van Sant adaptation of the famed author Tom Robbins novel shares the same creative energy of films like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Natural Born Killers, Harold and Maude and so on in the sense that it is a very expressive film with a very specific idea it is looking to present.  Where the aforementioned films explored ideas of free love taken to the extreme, the toxicity of media, love without judgement and so on (respectively), Even Cowgirls Get the Blues puts femininity and identity outside of the male gaze squarely in its crosshairs.  Uma Thurman takes on the role of Sissy with wide-eyed zeal, floating through a series of hitchhiker-based adventures until her reluctant visit to the Rubber Road Ranch helps her find the missing piece of her puzzle.  Seeing a bizarre, star-studded tale of a woman finding her agency sounds like it would work on the surface, but from what I could find, the film failed to make a connection with audiences and is considered a commercial and critical failure (which is probably why it was the toughest film to track down on this list).  That being said, I’m a sucker for films that catch a bad rap, especially when the combination of such a unique director and visionary author are the foundation of it, because it makes me curious about why I find connection where others did not… who knows, maybe it was those extremely distracting rubber thumbs (the only real knock I can make on the film), or maybe the Tom Robbins style is tough to transfer from page to screen, but for my money’s worth, I can see the vision.

5. My Own Private Idaho (1991) Somewhere within the intersection of films like Midnight Cowboy and Fight Club lies My Own Private Idaho, an extremely personal and nuanced film that covers many topics with depth and an ease that comes with wisdom and experience.  For example, when it comes to views on identity, we get two rich narratives that could easily both be their own film : Mike (portrayed by River Phoenix) is going through a crisis of identity based on a sordid history with his mother and absentee father that makes his search for love transform into a life of hustling as a way to find momentary intimacy; meanwhile, Keanu Reeves (who plays Scott) is an entitled young man awaiting an inheritance that decides to spend the time until it happens “slumming” with those many would consider the outcasts of society, much like the “tourists” spoken of by Edward Norton’s narrator in Fight Club.  The struggle with masculinity in the face of homosexuality is all over this film, from its multiple male on male connections to the very toxic manner that the core group interacts with one another, when they are not grieving or putting their livelihood in danger via petty crimes.  In terms of Van Sant style, the film is one of his most innovative (outside of the film holding the top spot) in terms of looks, with its unique range of colorful title cards, the pinhole vision that Mike uses on his road, or even the standout magazine rack sequence.  The film is also a perfect follow-up to Drugstore Cowboy, and could easily double feature with it to this day.  As someone not wholly familiar with Shakespeare’s Henry plays, I did not catch that My Own Private Idaho was an adaptation, so I will not only have to revisit it with that familiarity in tow, but  I will have to take a look into James Franco’s re-cut, My Own Private River, as well.

4. Elephant (2003) Based solely on the nature and definition of a trilogy, a second film can make or break things.  Gerry and Last Days share similarities in how quiet and isolated they are, so it makes sense that Elephant, part two of Van Sant’s Death Trilogy, would in many ways be the meat of the trilogy sandwich in terms of style and thematic substance.  Elephant operates on several distinct levels based on Van Sant’s observations of the world going into the new millennium, as the film allowed him a foundation for both experimentation and examination by proxy.  While the long takes and vast amount of distance traveled during said takes was present in all three films of the trilogy, Van Sant made a concentrated effort to make the shots look and feel similar to that of video games like the later Grand Theft Auto entries, hence a number of the shots being positionally locked during travel (often times a few feet behind the character at the center of that moment’s focus).  There are ramp-downs of the frame rate to punctuate certain moments, and quite often the camera is thrown on a tripod and allowed to take in the array of high schoolers living their standard life.  It is this mundane world-building aspect that not only gives the viewer a rapid but deep look into a handful of character’s lives, but it gives you a sense of the school’s social hierarchy while forcing you to reflect on where you once stood within it.  Per the film’s clever title, the elephant in the room eventually appears in the form of Eric and Alex, the pair of school shooters meant to reflect the Columbine Massacre perpetrators.  While school shootings weren’t an unknown phenomenon going into the 2000’s, Elephant became prophetic in its vision by releasing right before the numbers started rising at an alarming rate on these incidents.  In that sense, Elephant holds the dual distinction of not only being one of Van Sant’s best films, but one of his most important.  I will soon be looking into the 1989 Elephant film as well.

3. Drugstore Cowboy (1989) The power of Drugstore Cowboy as a modern-day narrative tragedy about the epidemic of prescription drugs, the dark allure of crime and the oddball way that broken people find solace in one another is immediately evident to anyone who has had the pleasure to see Gus Van Sant’s studio directorial debut.  Where the film really stands out however, in my opinion, is the way that Van Sant is able to achieve his major studio look while deeply applying a very artistic and personal aesthetic to the cinematography and editing.  The traditional looks are interspersed with the use of different film stocks, subtle blends of animation and flashes of stylistic edits that were almost certainly an inspiration for Darren Aronofsky’s “hip-hop editing” style.  Add to this an incredibly intuitive and expressive core cast driven by the chemistry between Matt Dillon and Kelly Lynch (and a very early Heather Graham supporting appearance), plus a strong appearance by the always memorable Max Perlich, a fiery James Remar performance and an iconic cameo from William S. Burroughs.  The jazz-influenced score not only makes key scenes livelier, but it is a symbolic statement on the drug use depicted in the film, while simultaneously playing counter to the soundtrack choices.  Period, point-blank, Drugstore Cowboy is the kind of film that surely put the world on notice, and was a clear signal of the magnificent work that would follow.

2. Good Will Hunting (1997) If held up to the standards of what people consider to be good (or even classic) film, Good Will Hunting more than holds up to scrutiny.  Visually there are a small handful of flourishes, and having Elliot Smith’s music accompany Will’s painful but enlightening journey has only become more of a bittersweet sting as the years go by.  In terms of performances, everyone brought their A+ game to the table, be it the leading performances of Matt Damon, Robin Williams or Stellan Skarsgård, the supporting performances of Ben Affleck or Minnie Driver, or even the engaging nature of Cole Hauser and repeat scene stealer Casey Affleck.  After a flurry of dedicated fandom viewings in the years following this film’s release, a very long period away from the film where I had leagues of personal growth, and a revisitation for this set of rankings, what I have discovered is that Good Will Hunting presents a wish fulfillment fantasy that was nearly incapable of being a reality in the pre-internet age for anyone other than a character like Will : an undiscovered genius with a degree from the school of hard knocks.  In a world where people often wish they had the correct answer to every question, the looks and personality to be a social magnet, and the ability to back up any tough talk with stone hands, Will Hunting stood as an idealized example you wished you could peel off the screen and have some beers with.  As the internet has invaded our lives, however, most everyone has turned into a keyboard version of Will Hunting, looking for fights online when not having briefly intimate Google sessions to flex our supposed knowledge.  Much like Will, many people find that the knowledge minus the wisdom of worldly experience and vulnerability leaves you a shell of a person filled to the eyeballs with regret, and perhaps that is why this film only gets better as the years go by, and remains among the best of the Van Sant creations.

1. To Die For (1995) For the longest time, I avoided To Die For simply because I was not a fan of Nicole Kidman…  the vast majority of her roles held no interest to me prior to To Die For (it took Eyes Wide Shut for me to really start paying attention to her), and because she was so key to the film, there was never a sense of urgency about seeing it.  As time went by, however, I started to hear rumblings that To Die For may have been a bit ahead of its time, to the point that technology and social practices have caught up to some of the ideas presented in the film.  I finally watched it for this ranking set, and man, I really missed the boat on this one.  Plain and simple, this film is pure genius on every level.  The presentation starts off documentary-esque, which not only allows for expedited distribution of backstory information, but immediately gives you an idea for the personalities of our key characters.  Kidman’s portrayal of Suzanne stood as the textbook example for what has become commonly known as sociopathy, with her blind desire for fame and respect leading to a wake of human destruction.  In terms of narrative pacing, the film proceeds like a match dropped at the endpoint of a long gasoline trail, slowly drifting towards the eventually point that everything blows up and damage must be assessed while blame and accountability must be handled, resulting in a truly powerful ending more than deserving of the heavy lifting that precedes it.  The 24-hour news cycle was on the horizon in 1995, daytime talk shows and MTv’s The Real World had not shifted into the reality TV landscape that we know today, and while a few high profile cases such as the Menendez Brothers and Pamela Smart trial (the loose inspiration for this film) had happened, the bombshell and watershed trail that was the O.J. Simpson murder case was hot on the heels of To Die For’s release (the same month, actually).  Stylistically, the film also bears striking resemblance to an updated version of Sunset Boulevard, be it knowingly or not.  Long story short, the best films not only comment on the times in which they are created, but gain relevance as time passes, and To Die For handled both of these things phenomenally.