#journal 2017

[spring-sage]

"I'm a complex man," he'd say. But what I think he really meant was that he’s just a wounded asshole. 

[digitalfountains]

Luna Bijl by Mario Sorrenti

- Document Journal, Spring/Summer 2017

[medullam]

Thom Browne for Document Journal, ph. Wayne Lawrence, styled Ronald Burton III by. [NYC, 2017]

[remembertheplunge]

The day death came knocking

August 30, 2017 Wednesday 9:57pm

The day death came knocking—He showed up in the Tarot reading this morning. The Future card, furtherest to the left (where death sits for all of us all the time per Carlos Castenada, to our left and an arm’s length behind us.)

During my morning read, I pulled the book “Grave Matters” from the computer room shelf. It was inscribed by Jim in ’07—it’s almost like an eerie portent of what was to come. He wrote that I should keep the book “Grave Matters” by the book “Final Exit” and  a DVD containing   a “Six Feet Under” TV show episode.

He included in the “Grave Matters” book comic strips he undoubtedly clipped from ancient Modesto Bees.

End of this part of the entry

Note 12/10/2024

After reading the above entry tonight, I went searching through the many books I have in my computer room for “Grave Matters”. It did not show up there, but if I locate it I may post some of the comics Jim tucked away inside it. He often cut comics out of papers he read and gave them to me. One of those was our local paper, the Modesto Bee.

Grave Matters studies Green Burials, more natural forms of handling the body post death. Final Exit is a study of assisted suicide due to terminal illness. 6 Feet Under .

was a television show which ran from 2001-2005 and told the story of a family funeral business in Los Angeles and the dark side of life lived close to death. It’s a great show! 

Carlos Castenada was an author who published a series of books on shamanism.

Jim was my gay partner of 12 years who died unexpectedly of liver failure in 2009.

[thousandyearphantombunker]

[wagingmywarsbehindmyface]

JONAH HAUER-KING for Gentleman’s Journal (issue 40, June 2023) 🌼🦋🎀💠🪲

“I try not to overthink it,” he says. “People keep telling me that this or that will change. But I’ve had experiences before where people have said it would change and it hasn’t. You become quite sage about that kind of chat. I accept this might be different. It only makes me feel daunted because I am just about old enough to have a fairly grounded and stable life. I have a relationship, my friends, my life in London. I find the idea of that changing quite daunting, so I pretend it’s not going to happen.”

[whimsicalcotton]

that one de journal spread is. Bothering me

[fleeceyang]

me and my movie snacks ^-^

[blackbackedjackal]

I'm not letting this go just because of how hypocritical and weird he's been about imitating other tumblr users for over a decade while never supporting the artists he steals from. Hard to be known for something unique when all you do is imitate.

[itstimeforstarwars]

I hit post limit yesterday which was kind of hilarious because 1) I didn't even know you could still do that 2) I have a time limit set for tumblr app on my phone, which means I reblogged 250 posts in less than three hours, and 3) I hit post limit at 2pm, and I had to stew in tumblr jail all freakin day

[ramblinglunaticssramblings]

My very first blog post ever

Hello !

As very clearly stated in the title, this is my very first blog and therefore my very first blog post ever. I don't know what will become of this but I hope it'll be a place for me to share my thoughts and writing and hopefully get feedback which I desperately need.

I suppose an introduction would be fitting, even if I'm not sure what I should include.

At the very moment of writing this I am fixated on It 2017-2019 (the movies). Mainly, I am interested in Reddie, and more the fanon part than anything canon. It's all I talk about and the only media I consume at the moment. I'm trying to write a fanfic about it, but I'm having an inspirational drought and I'm not sure exactly what to do. I'm also an avid roleplayer (sue me).

Aside from struggling to write fanfiction I am writing an actual original work, titled 5 o'clock which so much of my free time revolves around. That might seem surprising to most who know me, since I barely ever write and it's been a WIP since 2021 (I think). But I think about it a lot and I'd like to consider it a passion project of mine. I am planning on posting outtakes on here for potential feedback and also just because I love it.

I love journaling and when my mind gets too full, a poor spiral note book has to carry all of my thoughts as I try to decipher them. I've been wanting to try poetry, but for the moment its too far out of my comfort zone. It's standing around, just out of reach, with concept such as song writing and dancing.

I want to entertain myself with doing more things that don't come naturally to me and I want to utilize this blog to help me explore that. I hope that anyone reading feels free to give me feedback and criticism and comments on anything I do. I both love and hate being perceived.

I look forward for what's next to come.

<3

[make-death-proud-to-takeus]

A page from my journal 🍑

[digitalfountains]

Luna Bijl by Mario Sorrenti

- Documentation Journal, Spring/Summer 2017

[sparklywatercolors]

not my college emailing me to tell me they miss me. if y'all didn't decide to charge me for the "wrong" classes that you fuckers made me take maybe i'd be back. go fuck yourselves.

[remembertheplunge]

Lets go down in flames and be proud

May 17, 2017. Wednesday“I listened to two 50ish men lifting weights at In Shape Gym. Pawns of the system, they talk of Social Security and security in general  and homicide if a divorce led to loss. One man was drowning in abuse and fear because Coke bought out Pepsi, who he worked for, and he might be back pushing a cart.

I heard nothing  about “I can make  miracles” which is what a homeless man had told me not long before. The homeless man could make birds appear in the sky.

I heard nothing about  “Let’s go down in flames and be proud. Let’s jump for freedom!”

All I heard was the docile, white noise of an energy sputtering off into lassitude and infirmity. To fizzle out. Unnoticed.

[mxwhore]

the journal i had since 2014 is finally running out of pages...