#josie x kath

[awstenknyght]

IN THE HEIGHTS MOODBOARDS!!!!!

tag list: @tommyinnitt @joshkatz @love-pyramus @babymushroomboy @panicky-pancakes @ranboo-my-beloved1 @yourknightinshiningplastic @lex-the-soggy-chicken-tender (join my taglist here!!)

mouse as usnavi: (belongs to @love-pyramus)

king as sonny: (belongs to @joshkatz)

josie as benny

bruiser as graffiti pete: (belongs to @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit)

sarah as vanessa:

kath as nina

cora as daniella: (belongs to @the-cowbi)

davey as carla:

[awstenknyght]

Never Bloom Again

A/N: i have decided that this will lead into Bad Idea. josie finds out kath cheated

Warnings: alcohol, drugs, self harm, tell me if i missed something. also emily being a little bitch, but what’s new

Song Used: Never Bloom Again

Tags: @buttons-and-gulons @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @brooklyn-is-here @the-cowbi @trans-witch-cauldron @and-shes-calling-a-cab @lxwkey-as-hell

All the girls in Los Angeles look like you from a distance

Josie stepped up to the mic. She’d only been on tour for a few days, but she already missed Katherine more than anything. 

“Hey guys!” she was met with a chorus of applause. “This one’s called Powerless. Its for my wonderful girlfriend Kath. I wish she could be here with me now.”

She strummed out the first few chords and began to sing. “I really wouldn’t mind a 20 hour drive…”

I tried to give you space until i stepped away

From your brain but now i just miss it

After the show, Josie flopped onto her bunk. Everyone else had gone out to a bar, but she decided to stay in the bus and call Katherine.

Josie pulled out her phone and clicked on the familiar contact. It took a while, but soon a very disheveled looking Kath came onto the screen.

“Baby!” Josie cried, wishing she could reach through the screen and kiss her.

“Hey Jo,” Katherine responded, her voice hoarse. She kept looking at something behind the screen, but Josie thought nothing of it. “How was the show?”

Josie grinned and launched into an excited recap of her day. “How about you? Did you have a good day?”

Katherine’s cheeks turned bright red. “Uh yeah, it was great.”

Josie frowned. Kath wouldn’t stop looking at something- or someone- behind the camera. “Is someone there with you?”

“No!” Katherine shook her head quickly before clearing her throat. “Hey, I'm getting kinda tired. Do you want to call in the morning?”

Josie swallowed and nodded. The screen went black before she could say goodbye.

All the girls in los angeles look like you from a distance

And now i’m kinda thinking that i’ll never bloom again

Josie sat at a bar stool next to King. Mouse, Moth, and Bruiser were all playing pool. Well, Moth and Bruiser were playing. Mouse was doing her best to distract them from the game, which included climbing on the pool table and bonking their heads with one of the extra poles.

Josie took her phone out and checked it again. There was still nothing.

“You okay?” King asked hesitantly.

“Hmm? Oh. yeah i’m fine.” she said, barely looking up. 

“Are you sure? You haven’t looked up from your phone since we got here.”

“It’s just-” she let out an exasperated breath. “It’s been a week since i talked to Kath. And last time we called she was kind of… off.”

King nodded and downed his drink. “She’s probably fine. If you’re really worried, maybe try calling her again?”

Josie pulled out her phone and tried calling. Nothing. Maybe she just fell asleep. She decided to send a text instead.

Hey baby, you okay?

Kath responded surprisingly fast this time. 

Yeah, just a bit tired.

Josie frowned. Being tired never kept Katherine from calling before. Well, at least not before the tour-

I never thought I’d let myself wear the weak look

but I guess if the shoe fits

Josie didn’t talk to Kath at all for the next week. Then a week turned into a month, a month into two, until Josie was outside their apartment door, waiting to go in.

Josie took a deep breath before pushing the door open. “Kathy? You home?”

No response. Josie set down her bags and walked into the kitchen. There was a note on the counter for her.

Hey love!

If you get home before i get back, i’m just at a friends house. Can’t wait to see you again! <3

Josie tried not to be disappointed. It wasn’t Kath’s fault. She turned back, deciding to start unpacking, when something caught her eye.

Sitting on the counter was a small charm bracelet. Not just any charm bracelet though.

There's a million pairs here

String along my soul, dear, 'til my breath feels useless

“Em!” Josie ran up to the taller girl and jumped onto her back. “Happy birthday baby!”

“Jesus christ J, be careful!” Emily responded. 

Josie climbed down. “Sorry babe. Look what i got you!”

Josie handed her a small charm bracelet. It had six charms already on it, and room for more. “D’ya like it?”

“Thanks baby! I love it!” Emily smiled as she slipped it on. She gave josie a kiss. Cherry lipstick and alcohol. The combination might seem repulsive to others, but to Josie it was perfect. It was emily. 

It's like god fell asleep in

The middle of the day he built my self-esteem

Why was Emily’s bracelet in their apartment? Unless-

No. she’d never. She’s not like that

Josie needed to clear her head. Only one thing could help with that. She rushed to the bathroom.

'Cause I'll keep hopping on these planes

'Til we're sharing last names and a softer scene

Josie turned the corner into the alleyway. Emily was waiting there, just like she promised, with a familiar smirk.

“I knew you’d come crawling back.”

Josie looked down. She didn’t mean for it to get this out of hand. But her hands were shaking and she knew only one thing that could stop them.

“Em, give it to me. Please-”

“Nope! Kisses first baby,” Emily responded in a sing-song voice. “You know the drill.”

“Please Em, i don’t want to do this again-” she was cut off by Emily's lips crashing into her’s. She tried to pull away, but emily had her trapped and wasn’t letting go.

Cherry lipstick and alcohol. Josie wondered when the taste stopped being home and started being hell.

Instead of tying our breath in knots again

You're chopping it down in heavy seconds

Alone was never easy after you

Katherine walked in the door hours later. Josie had come down by then. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her eyes were puffy and red. Katherine noticed immediately.

“Baby! What happened? Are you okay?”

Josie held up the bracelet. “What’s Emily’s bracelet doing here?”

Kath froze. “I- I don’t know.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Josie yelled, standing up so she was almost eye to eye with Katherine. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Josie, you’re not in a good mental state. Come on, lets go to sleep.”

“No! Answer me!” Josie’s voice finally broke. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Baby-”

Josie shook her head. “I knew it.”

With that, she grabbed her bags, still packed and waiting by the door, and ran.

Cause all the girls in Los Angeles look like you from a distance

I tried to give you space until I stepped away

From your brain and now i just miss it

Josie’s hands were shaking. She needed more. Just a bit, just enough to calm her nerves.

It had been three weeks since- since the incident. Josie tried to stay away from it. But without Kath to lean on, it was all she had left.

“So Josie, any new songs we should get ready for?”

Josie snapped back to the present. Right. The interview.

“Uh, I’m working on a new one. Called Never Bloom Again.”

The woman smiled widely. “What’s this one about?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see!” Mouse cut in. Thank goodness for mouse. Josie hadn’t released any news about the breakup and she wasn’t ready to talk about it now, especially not with this far-too-cheery-to-be-real interviewer.

Josie excused herself to the bathroom as soon as possible. She needed it bad. As soon as it was back in her, she was able to relax. 

I’m so screwed.

All the girls in Los Angeles look like you from a distance

Now I'm kinda thinking that I'll never bloom again

Josie sat across from king in a small diner. Mouse had forced them there. In her words, “Just because you’re both sad and alone doesn’t mean you can become shut-ins. Go be sad and alone together.”

So there they were. Being sad and alone together. 

“Did you relapse?” King asked after taking a drink.

“Yeah,” Josie sighed. “You?”

“Duh.”

They were silent for a while after. “Why wasn’t I enough?”

Josie looked up. King was staring at his phone. Josie grabbed it out of his hand. “Don’t say that. It’s not your fault B cheated, it’s that bitch Katie’s.”

King nodded, but he didn’t look convinced. “Can I have my phone back?”

“Not if you’re gonna keep looking at pictures of B.”

“That’s not fair, you still have your phone!”

“Well I’m over Kath.” Josie said, but she sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than anything else.

“Mhm,” King said, grabbing Josie’s phone and turning it on. The screen lit up with Katherine’s face. “Completely over her.”

“Fuck you,” Josie said, kicking him under the table. He kicked her back. Soon they were full on fighting under the table and laughing loudly.

A few minutes later, after being kicked out of the restaurant, they began walking home. Josie was finally smiling again.

'Cause this is what you've done, you've done to me

Josie’s heart was racing. She had blacked out and woken up to far too many notifications. 

She logged into twitter to see what all the commotion was about and froze. 

It’s official. No more lies. Me and @ watch_what_happens are done. Sorry

Had she sent that? She didn’t remember it. Then again, she didn’t remember anything from the past hour-

She had hundreds of notifications; press, friends, family, and fans all wanted to know what went down.

But one stood out.

Blocked number

Guess that means i win?

'Cause this is what you've done, you've done to me

Josie stepped up to the microphone and took a deep breath. “This is never bloom again. It goes out to two wonderful exes. I hope you’re having fun together.”

She nodded to mouse and began strumming. She could feel her hands beginning to shake again.

No. Not now.

She tried to focus on the song. It was the last one in the set. She could do it. In and out, sing the words, go through the motions.

“You're not alone 'til it stings like this

I'll fake asleep until I'm dreaming

I guess you messed me up, I'll pay for this

And sleep it off without your kiss”

Josie finished the song and ran off stage. She needed something, anything. She opened the bathroom cabinet. Empty. Her bag was gone too.

Mouse must’ve found it.

She collapsed on the floor, shaking. She needed something to ground herself. Something shiny caught her eye. A small blade in the corner of the room.

It would have to work.

I never thought I'd let myself give what you took

But I sent it off in gift wrap

Josie slowly stood and tried to leave the trailer. She had been spending every night there for god knows how long, but she was done now. She had an actual family now, one that wanted her, and she was ready to go. There was only one problem.

Emily.

The sleeping girl rolled over, reaching out to where Josie was only moments earlier. She woke up with a start, noticing the lack of warmth next to her.

“Baby? Where you going?” Emily asked in a sugar-sweet voice.

“I told you Em. I’m leaving.”

Emily sat up. Her tone turned harsh. “No you’re not.”

“I can’t keep doing this Emily. I’m leaving and I’m not coming back.”

Emily grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down to the bed. “I don’t think you heard me sweetheart. You're not going anywhere.”

With that, she kissed Josie. Hard. Josie gave in and kissed her back. The taste was addicting. And as much as she wanted to leave, she would always come back.

Just as Josie was starting to drift off to sleep again, the sugar sweet voice returned. 

“You’re mine.”

Now all that's left here are my lonely words, dear

I'll paint you pretty with my syntax

It was too loud. Everything was ten times louder and Josie didn’t know what to do.

The show had just ended. The fans were cheering and Mouse was trying to tell her something. But she couldn’t hear a thing.

She was in her head again.

Josie pushed through to the bathroom. She could still feel the scars from the last show. Or were those from last night? She couldn’t remember anymore. Not that she cared.

Once she had it in her again, her hands stopped shaking. It seemed less loud now. She pushed open the bathroom door, ready to put on her fake face on and pretend, when something stopped her.

Right outside waiting for her was none other than Emily and Katherine, holding hands.

Josie’s face hardened. “What do you want?”

Katherine opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Emily just smirked. Josie tried to push past, but Em wouldn’t budge. 

“Kathy, sweetheart, why don’t you wait by the car? I want to talk to Josie alone.”

“Jo, I’m so sorry, I made a mistake, I-” Kath was cut off by Emily’s sharp gaze. She nodded and ran off.

“What were you doing in there?”

“None of your fucking business,” Josie retorted with a glare. What did Emily want from her anyway?

“Oh, we both know that it is my business,” she said with a smile. “Come on baby, did you really think it was that easy to escape it?”

Josie winced. “Don’t call me baby. You lost that right a long time ago.”

“But babe, don’t you miss it?” Emily moved closer and grabbed her hand. Josie didn’t push her away. “We had so much fun together! Don’t you want to go back?”

“I-” Josie’s head was spinning. Snap out of it. “No! What about Kath?”

Emily leaned in closer. “It can be our little secret”

“Katherine’s smart. She’ll figure it out.” What was she saying?

“Will she?” Emily asked in an innocent voice. “You wouldn’t have known a thing if i hadn’t left you that little… clue.”

Josie’s eyes widened. The bracelet. Suddenly, she could feel Emily pulling her somewhere. Before she knew what was going on, Emily was straddling her, their lips locked together.

And she wasn’t complaining

~

aha-

[awstenknyght]

Could you write the thing you and Raven were talking about with Mouse and Josie in the hospital?

FUCKING BET ANON-

Warnings: Overdose, hospital, light swearing, I think that’s all

Song used: Promise Me by Badflower

Tags: @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @lxwkey-as-hell @trans-witch-cauldron @buttons-and-gulons 

King belongs to @brooklyn-is-here and Mouse belongs to @piper-koko-barnes-rogers

Hands still shaking, Josie collapsed in the waiting room’s hard plastic chairs. Her vision was blurred. Nothing seemed real.

Carefully, she pulled out her tattered old notebook and began scribbling lyrics.

We’re getting old now

But i don’t feel it

Josie felt tears streaming down her face. How had she missed this?

“Mousey!” Josie cried, jumping onto Mouse’s bed. “Are you going to sleep anytime soon?”

Mouse glanced up from her work. Her eyes looked tired and ready to shut, but she shook herself awake. “I will. Soon. you go ahead and sleep, i’ll stay up a bit longer”

Josie had shaken it off at the time. It was just Mouse overworking herself a bit, right?

I say you’re beautiful

And i still mean it

“You know you can take a break, right?” Josie asked one day. Mouse didn’t look up from her computer. “Me and King both want you to take care of yourself.”

Mouse shook her head. “I’m fine. I can handle it.”

Josie looked at her skeptically, but she dropped it. She hadn’t seen Mouse rest in ages, but surely she was fine. “Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

And I don't wanna know 

What old age feels like

So promise me you won't 

Give up on this life

“Family of Illaria Santos-Larkin?” A nurse asked, walking to where Josie was sitting. Sarah, who she hadn’t noticed before, nodded. The nurse smiled. “Follow me.”

Josie stood and followed, hands still shaking. She let out a gasp as she saw Mouse.

She was tangled on wires and attached to different machines. But the worst part wasn’t all of that; it was the girl in the middle of it all. The bright, cheery Mouse was gone. All that was left was a shell of a girl. She looked weak and tired, like at any moment she’d just break.

“Ria?” Josie cried out softly. The girl didn’t respond. Josie wondered if she ever would again.

And we’ll be busy trying

While the rest of them are dying

Josie rested her elbow on Mouse’s shoulder and smirked. “Short-ass.”

Mouse rolled her eyes and took another sip of coffee. “Tall bastard”

They had decided to take the day off together. They got coffee from a nearby cafe and were on their way to the park.  Josie skipped ahead of Mouse a bit before stopping to let her catch up.

But when she turned to find the other girl, all she saw was a small crowd gathering. She ran back and gave a small scream when she saw it. Mouse was passed out on the ground, unmoving.

People were already calling for help, and soon enough she was being whisked off in an ambulance. Josie was left alone.

~

“I’m gonna go make some calls, you can stay with her,” Sarah said gently, before leaving Josie and Mouse in peace.

Josie sat on the edge of the hospital bed. She let out a small sob and began to sing.

“Promise me we'll never grow up

I don't wanna let go

I wanna stay young

And even when the wrinkles show up

We'll be laughing, and

We can play forever

Don't make me face the truth”

Mouse was still silent. Josie layed silently next to her, trying to focus on lyrics. If she didn’t, she’d have to face what was happening. And she couldn’t do that.

I think it’s obvious

That we’ll stay happy

“Hey, have you heard this?” Josie asked, trying to keep her voice nonchalant as she handed her friend a pair of earbuds. 

Mouse listened to the song and shook her head. “I don’t think so. It’s really good.”

Josie muttered something under her breath. “What was that?”

“Look at the artist.”

Mouse looked at the phone and did a double take. “Jo, that was you? That’s amazing!”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely!” she said, coming over and wrapping Josie in a hug. “You know, I play guitar.”

Josie hugged her back. “You mean-”

“Only if you want to of course!” Mouse replied. “But you’re amazing.”

“Of course I want that!” Josie cried. “What about King’s band?”

Mouse shrugged and smiled. “I can do both.”

And I’m the happiest

When you smile at me

Josie didn’t leave the hospital at all the next week. King, Sarah, Kath, and Jack came in and out, but Josie couldn’t move. She focused all her energy into the song.

And we won't end the same

A broken family

I'll never walk away

Without you with me

“Jo? I think it’s time you went home.” Jack said one day. It had been nearly a month since the incident. The doctors weren’t sure if Mouse would wake up.

“No, I gotta stay.” 

“J, I’m serious. She’ll still be here if you leave.” Jack put a hand on his sister’s shoulder. “C’mon.”

Josie let him lead her away. She continued to scribble away in her notebook.

And times are getting harder

But i’m nothing like my father

“Mouse! Wake up!”

Mouse sat up with a start. “Jo?”

“I’m right here Ria. You okay?”

Mouse nodded her head. “Yeah, yeah i’m fine. Just- a bad dream.”

Josie didn’t look so certain. “It looked like more than just a bad dream.”

“I’m fine.” Mouse said. She stood up and made a cup of coffee. “Just a bad dream.”

Josie still looked skeptical, but she went back to sleep anyway. Mouse could handle herself.

Right?

~

Josie took a trembling breath as she stepped up to the microphone. It was her first performance without Mouse by her side. 

“Hey everyone-” she said in a shaky voice. She was met with applause and cheers. When they died down, she continued. “As you know, we’re missing someone tonight. Mouse is still in a coma.”

She began strumming a few chords of the song. “I started writing this song when she first passed out. I was hoping we could perform it together when she woke up. But now i just hope she’ll be able to hear it.”

With those words, Josie began to sing. The audience was silent throughout. By the time she got to the second chorus, she was nearly sobbing.

“Promise me we’ll never grow up

I don’t wanna fall out

I wanna make love

And even when we can’t so what?

We’re together and happy ever 

Don’t make me face the truth”

Josie chokes out the next words through sobs before breaking down. “That I’m dying soon. That we’re dying”

Katherine ushers her off stage. Once she calmed down a bit, she went back on to finish the concert. It wasn’t the same without Mouse there.

Don’t say goodbye

We’re so much older

All i want is one more life with you

“Hey Mousey?”

Mouse gave a small hum. It was the middle of the night, and they were on their first tour together.

“Promise we’ll be okay? Nothing bad will happen?”

“Of course Jo. What could go wrong?”

Josie smiled and turned to go to sleep. They’d be okay, forever and always.

When did we get so old

When did you get so sick

And how could you die

Josie at the edge of Mouse’s bed. She was alone with her. Before she could stop herself, she started talking. “It’s been 13 months. Almost 14. They don’t think you’re gonna wake up. But you will. You’ll show them. You have to.”

Josie took the other girl’s hand and began tracing abstract shapes. 

“You promised me you’d never grow up, now i have to let go, god i miss you so much.” Josie whispered. She didn’t sing the words, only whispering them under her breath. “And even when your heart gave out i was thinking i, i won’t say goodbye.”

Josie’s voice became less steady and louder. She coudn’t tell if she was more sad or angry, and she didn’t care. “You promised me you’d never grow up but you fucking grew up, god i miss you so much!”

Josie’s sobs grew heavier and heavier as she ranted to herself. “And even when your heart gave out i was thinking i’d love you till forever and i can’t face the truth.”

Mouse’s hand twitched. She gave a small whine. 

Josie’s eyes widened in disbelief. No, she had imagined it. Mouse didn’t move again. Josie was all out of tears. “That I died with you. That you lied”

Mouse’s hand moved again. “Jo?”

Josie couldn’t deny it now. Mouse was awake. “Ria?”

You died

***

yay angst

[awstenknyght]

Ghost

A/N: i have no self control so here you go! here is some angst no one asked for! you have been warned.

Warnings: knife, mentions of self harm, attempted suicide, angst

Song Used: Ghost by Badflower

Tags:  @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @brooklyn-is-here @sour-picklee 

i tried it once before but I didn't get too far

Josie ran up to the roof, sobbing. It was all too much. Through tears, she pulled out her pocket knife and pressed it to her arm.

I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart

“Josie!” Kath ran over and knocked the blade out of the girl’s hand. “What are you doing?”

And all I really wanted was someone to give a little fuck

“Go away Kath. I don’t deserve this,” Josie said, pulling her hood over her head.

“Josie, look at me,” Kath said, bringing Josie’s face up with a gentle hand. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t lose you.”

But I waited there forever and nobody even looked up

“That’s not true. All I do is make your life worse,” Josie replied, looking away and curling in on herself. “Everyone’s better off without me.”

I tried it once before and I think I might have messed up

Kath sat carefully next to her. “Can I tell you a secret?”

I struggled with the veins and I guess I didn't bleed enough

Josie shot her a quizzical look, so she continued. “I tried to do the same thing as you. About a month ago. Jackie stopped me. Do you know why I stayed?”

“Why?”

But maybe I'm alive because I didn't really wanna die

“He reminded me of how much I’d miss you,” Kath said, grabbing Josie’s hand. “I stayed for you, Love.”

But nothing very special ever happens in my life

“Can you stay for me?”

~

there you go, some random angst no one asked for!!! hope you liked it.

[awstenknyght]

no one: 

me: KATH x JOSIE ROYALY AU-

[awstenknyght]

Kisses and Cookies

A/N: Christmas fic! Yay! It was originally fluff and then my brain went “it’s angst time bitches” so here you go. Yes I did write a song for this. Yes I did record it. I’ll post it in a bit. (Oh yeah, this is band au)

Warnings: I don’t think any (for once)

Tags: @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @brooklyn-is-here @buttons-and-gulons @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @ms-califxrnia

The prompts for this were baking cookies and kiss under the mistletoe!

Josie laughed as Kath threw a bit of flour at her. She snuck a bit of cookie dough into her mouth. Today was perfect.

Katherine was taking the day off writing to spend time with her. Their relationship was still a bit rocky, but they were getting better. And right now, that was all in the past. All she could think of was the smell of cookies baking and the warmth of their apartment.

“So my love,” Kath said with a smile. “Are you excited for tonight?”

Josie’s eyes lit up as she remembered. Her and Mouse had been invited to do a special Christmas Eve performance at a nearby club. It was to be on live tv and she couldn’t wait. “Of course!”

Kath’s smile widened. “Tell me more about it.”

Josie gave her a confused look. “But you already know about it.”

“I know,” Katherine responded, rolling out the gingerbread and handing Josie a cookie cutter. “But it makes you happy, and you’re adorable when you're happy.”

Josie gave her a quick kiss and grinned, before launching into a rant about the show. By the time she finished, Katherine had put the cookies in the oven and was staring at Josie. She was in love.

“What?” Josie asked with a laugh. Katherine had been staring at her for the last fifteen minutes, not moving.

“I just-” Kath started, snapping out of her trance. “I love you so much.”

Josie’s eyes lit up again. She took Katherine into her arms and held on tight. “I love you too baby.”

Katherine began to sway back and forth, leading Josie in a slow dance around the kitchen. They were lost in each other, completely in love. There was no music, no sound except their own footsteps, but it didn’t matter. They had each other.

After who knows how long, Josie smelled something burning. “Babe! The cookies!”

Katherine’s eyes widened. She let go of Josie and rushed to the oven, pulling out the tray. The cookies were burnt to a crisp.

Josie burst out laughing. 

“You think this is funny?” Kath said, setting down the tray. A second later, however, she was laughing too. 

The girls sat down on the floor, laughing together for nearly an hour. Josie placed her head on Katherine’s shoulder. Everything felt right in that moment. She had her girlfriend back. They weren’t perfect, but they were together. And that’s what mattered.

***

Josie was buzzing with excitement. Her first time on live TV. Nothing could ruin this night for her.

She stepped onto the stage. It was decorated with ornaments and lights. Towards the back of the stage was a huge Christmas tree.

She stepped up to the mic and smiled. “Hello New York!”

Mouse stepped up to her own microphone and looked into her camera. “And hello world!”

Josie laughed. “You guys ready?”

The club cheered. Josie smiled, shook her nerves away, and began to sing. 

A few songs later, it was time for a commercial break. She took a breath as soon as the lights went out and went backstage. 

There was a lot going on, but she ignored it all. There was only one person she wanted to see. 

Katherine was standing toward the back, next to a doorway. Josie began walking toward her, but someone beat her there.

She watched in horror as a tall blonde-haired girl walked up to Kath and pulled her into the doorway. The girl - Emily - pulled something out of her pocket and leaned in for a kiss.

Mistletoe.

Josie felt dizzy. She’ll push her away. We’re done with all that.

But Katherine wasn’t moving. She only stopped when she noticed Josie staring.

“Baby-“

Josie shook her head and turned away.

“Five minutes!” One of the staff called out.

Josie wanted to cry. She wasted to turn away and never come back. But she couldn’t.

“Mousey, do you mind if I do something different for our first song?”

Mouse looked concerned, but nodded. “You okay Jo?

Josie swallowed her tears and nodded. “Fine.”

Josie didn’t feel the same rush of joy when she was back on stage. She just felt sick.

She strummed out a few chords. She knew this song by heart, despite never performing it before. She hadn’t even played it for Mouse before. It was hers.

Until now.

When she finished the song, she set down her guitar and whispered two sentences into the microphone. 

“Fuck you Katherine. Fuck you Emily.”

Josie looked out at the crowd. They were silent.

Slowly, one by one, they began to clap. Soon there was roaring applause. Josie nodded to mouse to continue to the next song. Mouse got the message and started strumming the chords for the next song, giving Josie a look to let her know that they’d definitely be talking about this later.

Josie went through the motions, trying not to cry as the show went on. She saw Emily and Katherine leaving together out of the corner of her eye. She tried not to care.

Fuck them anyway.

[awstenknyght]

Bad Idea

A/N: This takes place directly after Never Bloom Again

Warnings: Drugs, alcohol, implied nsfw (mostly through lyrics), ask to tag 

Tags: @piper-koko-barnes-rogers @buttons-and-gulons @lxwkey-as-hell @brooklyn-is-here @thatsmycigarbutyoucanborrowit @trans-witch-cauldron @and-shes-calling-a-cab

It was a bad idea

Calling you up

Josie woke up the next morning sore and exhausted. She was in her own apartment, but she didn’t remember getting there after the show.

She laid back, trying to remember the events of the night before. The show, Ana, then...

Shit.

Was such a bad idea

'Cause now I'm even more lost

Josie stood slowly and made her way to the living room. She had a splitting headache.

Sure enough, Emily was there waiting for her.

“Morning sunshine!” The taller girl said, standing up and wrapping her arms around Josie. “Sleep well?”

Josie pushed her away. “No Em, we can’t do this. Not to Katherine.”

“Why not?” Emily responded, moving a bit closer. “Katherine did it to you.”

It was a bad idea

To think you were the one

Josie tried to think of an argument, but she couldn’t. Emily was right. Katherine had done it to her.

And with Emily... how could she blame her?

Was such a bad idea

'Cause now everything's wrong

Josie gave a small nod and leaned in for a kiss. Cherry lipstick and alcohol. Just when she thought she had gotten over it. The taste was addicting.

You put your hands under my shirt

Undid my bra and said these words

“Jo? You there?”

Josie shook herself back to the present. Mouse was sitting in front of her, laptop open.

“What?”

“The song?” Mouse replied, picking up her guitar. “Any ideas?”

“Oh yeah.” Josie couldn’t think of anything. She felt her phone buzz in her pocket.

Emily.

The girl had sent a small message. It was something she had said a thousand times in high school.

"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"

“How about,” Josie started after looking at the message. “A girl who makes the incredibly stupid decision to go back to her ex after leaving.”

Mouse looked at her skeptically. “Jo, is there something going on?”

Josie shook her head. “Of course not. It’s just a song idea.”

“Don’t play dumb with me. I saw Emily at the show last week,” Mouse accused. “Are you guys-“

“No!” Josie yelled, a bit too fast. “Come on, let’s work on the song.”

Mouse looked like she wanted to say something else, but she dropped it. Josie was glad. She didn’t know how long she could lie to her.

You pushed me up against my wall

Threw my clothes down on the floor

"Darling, are you ready for more?"

Josie stepped up to the microphone. They were on tour again. No Emily. No Katherine. Just her and mouse and MM.

“Hello Phoenix!” She yelled to the crowd. “How are you doing tonight?”

Her words were met with a chorus of cheers. It was loud and chaotic. And the perfect distraction.

“Here’s Bad Idea!” Josie began to sing. Finally, she could relax. It was just her and her music up there.

“It was a bad idea

Calling you up

Was such a bad idea

I'm totally fucked”

When the show ended, Josie went with the others to a nearby bar.

Her hands were shaking again.

“J! Come sit down!” King called, waving her over.

Josie smiled, but shook her head. “Give me a minute.”

She all but ran to the bathroom. She needed Ana.

Come on. Josie shuffled through her things. She had been clean for nearly four weeks. Ever since-

Ever since Emily. But now she had no one to ground her. All she had was Ana.

That is, if she could find her.

It was a bad idea

To think I could stop

Josie finally found a baggie. She downed the pills and took a breathe, before walking back to the table.

“You okay Jo?”

“Perfectly fine.”

Was such a bad idea

I can't get enough

The rest of the tour went by in a cycle. Stage, Ana, road, Ana, repeat.

No one noticed, of course. She had gotten good at hiding. Good at getting more without looking suspicious. It helped that King had his own stash. He had to know that she was borrowing his. But he never said a word.

It was an unspoken agreement. They could take from each other’s supplies, as long as they replaced what they took and didn’t say a word.

It was a bad idea

Needing you so late

“Hey sweetheart,” Emily said, coming up behind Josie. “How was the tour?”

Josie put her fake face on and smiled. “Great.”

Emily kissed her cheek and pulled her toward the bedroom. Josie didn’t have time to think about how Emily had gotten there or where Katherine was. All she could think of was the taste of Emily’s lipstick and the smell of her perfume.

Was such a bad idea

'Cause I can't think straight

“Jo, we need to talk.”

Josie tried to look innocent. What could Mouse have figured out anyway?

“About Emily.”

“What about her?” Josie asked, trying not to give anything away with her voice.

“I know you’ve been getting back together with her,” Mouse said, looking her in the eye. “She’s shown up backstage after almost every show, and you coincidentally disappear after.”

“You don’t know anything!” Josie snapped. “And what does it matter anyway?”

“Because she has a girlfriend! And you need to move on!” Mouse snapped back. “Look, whether you like it or not, Katherine and Emily are dating. And you’re hurting Kath in the same way she hurt you.”

Josie tried thinking of an argument. But Mouse was right. There was no avoiding it.

So she stood up and left.

It was a bad idea

To bring you back home

Josie tried to focus on the interview. According to their name tag, their name was Cole and they used they/them pronouns. They had bright pink shoulder length hair.

“Let’s get this started!” They said, tying up their hair to reveal that it was shaved underneath. It looked cool as hell and Josie would have to remember to ask about it later. “So your latest single, Bad Idea? What inspired that?”

Josie felt her face heat up. “Just past relationships.”

The interviewer nodded. “Speaking of relationships, are you okay with talking about your previous relationship with Ms. Katherine Pulitzer?”

Josie almost said no, almost gave the answer she always gave (usually some variation of “No, fuck you.”) but something stopped her.

“Sure why not.” Josie looked down at her hands, mostly to avoid Mouse and Cole’s look of surprise. “I’ve been dating Kath since my first live performance. I thought we were in love. But while I was on tour, and maybe even before, she cheated on me. With my ex, Emily.”

Was such a bad idea

I need to be alone

“Jo what was that?” Mouse asked after the interview. “I thought you weren’t going to talk about all that?”

Josie shrugged. “Guess I changed my mind.”

You put your hands under my shirt

Undid my bra and said these words

"Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"

Josie’s hands were still shaking, hours after the interview. She fucked up.

Everyone knew why her and Kath weren’t together anymore. Katherine was sure to get hate. She’d probably get some too.

She fucked it all up.

You pushed me up against my wall

Threw my clothes down on the floor

"Darling, are you ready for more?"

She needed something to ground her. Anything.

She needed Ana. Or maybe something stronger. Definitely something stronger.

Josie ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

It was a bad idea

Calling you up

An hour later, the room was spinning. She pulled out her phone and clicked on the first contact. “Emilyy?”

“Josie? What’s wrong?” The voice that came through wasn’t Emily’s. It was mouse’s.

Shit.

“Notthing ria. I’m finee.”

“Well that’s clearly a lie. Where are you?” She could hear mouse grabbing her keys.

“No! Don’t come overr!”

“Too late. I’ll be there in five.” Mouse responded. “Stay on with me.”

Was such a bad idea

I'm totally fucked

“Is the door unlocked?” Mouse said. She was at the door, but Josie couldn’t move.

“No.”

“Okay. I’m picking the lock. Are you in the bathroom?”

Josie nodded, even though Mouse couldn’t see. Soon enough, Mouse was picking the lock and bursting into the tiny room.

“Shit Jo, what happened?”

Josie felt tears streaming down her face. “I’m sorry Ria.”

“It’s okay Cara,” Mouse said, helping her up. “I love you.”

It was a bad idea

To think I could stop

There was too much noise. They were at a party, but there was far too much going on. She needed out.

“I’m going home,” she whispered to Mouse, walking toward the door.

“Wait, let me take you,” the shorter girl offered.

“No, I’ll be fine.”

Was such a bad idea

I can't get enough

Josie opened the cabinet door. It was all too much. She needed a break.

Bad idea

Her hands finally stilled once She was in her.

Bad idea

A text came through. From Emily.

Can I come over?

Josie considered saying no. Considered ending it with her. But she needed someone to ground her now. Ana wasn’t enough anymore. Fuck it.

Of course.

Bad idea

Josie downed a drink. There was no way she could do this sober. And there was no way Emily would be sober either.

Emily knocked a few minutes later.

Bad idea

“Hey darling.”

You put your hands under my shirt

Josie woke up the next morning sore and done with it all.

“Emily, you have to leave.”

“What?” the blonde asked in a tired voice. She wrapped her arms around Josie’s waist.

Josie pushed her away. “I said you have to go. I’m done with this.”

Emily glared. “Fine. I’ll leave. But it’s only a matter of time before you come crawling back.”

“Not this time. I’m done Em.”

Emily picked up her things and walked out, glaring the whole time. Once she was gone, Josie collapsed on the couch. She wasn’t sure how she’d manage, but she was done with Emily. Hopefully forever.

Undid my bra and said these words

Josie heard a knock on the door. Emily had left hours ago and Mouse was with Sarah. Who the hell was it?

She opened the door, not knowing who to expect. She certainly wouldn’t have guessed Katherine.

The red haired girl looked just as surprised. As if she hadn’t expected Josie to open it.

“What do you want?”

Katherine looked hurt by her sharp tone. “I’m just here to apologize. I’ve missed you Love.”

Josie didn’t trust her. “What about Emily?.”

“No, I was wrong. I shouldn’t have cheated Jo. I’m so sorry.” Kath sounded genuine, but Josie wasn’t sure.

“Why’d you do it then?” She asked, moving to lead her inside. They sat across the couch from each other, stiff and uncomfortable.

“I-“ Katherine started. She seemed unsure of herself, like even she didn’t know why. “I don’t know.”

“I wasn’t enough?” Josie was near tears. Who gave Kath the right to have this much control over her emotions?

“No!” Katherine moved instinctively closer. “Baby, you’re perfect.”

“You and I both know that’s not true.”

“Love, no ones perfect. But you’re pretty close.” Katherine said, opening her arms for Josie to climb into. “Darling, you're so pretty, it hurts"

Josie stiffened at the familiar words. “You get that from Emily?”

Katherine face turned bright red. “Yes. But it’s true. You’re amazing and I’m sorry I threw that away.”

Josie nodded and settled into her arms. Maybe, just maybe, Katherine meant it this time.

“Kath, do you think we could start over?” Josie whispered. “I’m not saying we could be together completely. Not yet. But maybe we could start fresh?”

Katherine was silent for a minute. Josie was starting to think she didn’t want to when she spoke up. “I’d like that a lot Jo.”

***

Yay happy ending!!!