#joseph woll x ofc

[writingonleaves]

how can you look so peaceful when you know i'm gonna leave - joseph woll

pairing: joseph woll x original female character

warnings: swearing, fluff central, talks of marriage, barely proofread

inspired by + title: "staying" by lizzy mcalpine

word count: 2.1k

author's note: a short love letter to long distance relationships, which, while brutal, are beautiful in its own way. a love so soft that its meaning transcends distance ... it's possible folks! i've lived it! wanted to put something quick out to get back into my writer brain again. i hope you all enjoy this one <3

Goodbyes are par for the course for Evangeline Patel and Joseph Woll. 

Their first real one was when they weren’t even dating yet. Something more than friends. Something just below commitment. It was after their sophomore year of Boston College, when Joseph went back home to St. Louis and Evie went back home to New York. Evie hadn’t wanted to let go as Joseph lingered by the door, having helped her pack stuff into her car. 

They were dating a year later during the second real goodbye, when Joseph’s BC season ended and he went to Toronto. But that time they had plans of visiting each other’s hometowns in the summer and the goodbyes felt more like promises and not finalities. 

When two collegiate hockey players date each other, they get more comfortable being apart than together with opposing practice and game schedules. But everyone knew, even at the start, that Evie and Joseph wouldn’t ever be driven apart by distance. 

And that stayed true through every ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you soon,’ whether literal or figurative. Through when shoulder surgery sidelined Evie and her dreams to go professional. Through when Joseph signed his deal with Toronto and Evie stayed at BC. Through when Evie’s post-grad journey took her back home to New York. 

They’ve passed every test thrown at them, every obstacle tossed in their way. As heartbreaking as it sounds, goodbyes are a part of what makes Evie and Joseph work. 

Because when they finally say hello again, it always feels like the first time they locked eyes, during a meeting during their freshman year when all the student athletes were gathering together.

Tonight, after spending their sixth year anniversary, they’re on the precipice of another goodbye. Joseph has to go back to Toronto for training camp and the Leafs don’t play the Rangers until late January. Evie always spends the holidays with her family, and Joseph has always respected that. 

Four months. They’ve done worse. But the familiar heaviness settles in her stomach as she curls up in bed, reaching out to place a stray hair back where it belongs. He looks at her in a way that makes her feel like nothing and no one can hurt her. 

It’s been that way for six years and she’s so lucky.

He narrows his eyes playfully, tapping his pointer finger gently on her forehead. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

Evie sighs with a wistful smile. “Nothing.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

He leans forward to press a kiss on her forehead. “I know you’re lying. Tell me.”

She relents, “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby. That’s what you’re thinking about?”

She shrugs. “Do you ever think about what life would be like if we didn’t have to be apart so much?”

“All the time,” he says. “I probably wouldn’t be as upset coming home after a loss.”

Evie chuckles, but that’s not what she means. “I mean, like, I don’t know. If you had thought about breaking it off when you went to Toronto or when I went to New York or…”

Joseph’s eyebrows furrow. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Shit. “No, no! Not at all. Sorry. I probably should’ve brought that up more gracefully.”

He grins. “That’s okay. You rarely think before you speak. I know that.” He earns a light slap for that. “But to answer your question, no. Not really. Even among all the uncertainties of going to Toronto, you were always the constant. I knew that no matter what changes would come, I’d always want and need you to be in my life.”

She feels her heart rush with emotions. Even after six years, he can still make her feel like a lovesick idiot. “How did you know that early on?”

He rubs her shoulder with his thumb. “You make my brain calm down. Even on our first date, my hands were so sweaty and I didn’t know if you were gonna think dinner was too cheesy but you just made me feel so at peace.”

“It was cheesy,” she points out as he lightly pinches her skin in retaliation, which makes her laugh. “But it was you. So I didn’t care.”

“Talk about cheesy,” he snickers. “But yeah. I never had a doubt. I knew that even though it was very likely we wouldn’t live in the same city, it would be worth it. It was more if you wanted it.”

“What do you mean?”

He swallows. She plays with his fingers, something that always calms him down. “Well, when I first went to Toronto, I wasn’t sure if you’d want to, you know, keep this going. And I would’ve understood. You were gonna be at BC another year and then be who knows where and I could’ve moved around at any moment. Not being able to give you that stability…it’s still something I worry about.”

“I think we’ve made it work this long,” she says playfully. 

“We have, and I wouldn’t change it for anything,” he assures. “And usually, I’m fine. But, you know, on the days I miss you more than usual, the thought creeps into my head.”

She catches his hand that’s been rubbing her shoulder and places a kiss on his palm. “Honey, I appreciate the concern, I really do. But I knew what I was getting to. And I’m still here, aren’t I?”

“I feel very lucky that you are.”

Sap. Evie lays back down on his chest. “That still doesn’t mean this gets easier though.”

“Yeah. I know.”

She glances around the room, stopping at momentos she’s collected throughout the years. The BC flag she has hanging above her door. The puck for the first goal she ever scored for the Eagles on the corner of her desk. A stuffed elephant Joseph won her in an arcade four years ago. A cork board filled with scraps of memories, tickets to concerts, boarding passes and little notes she’s gotten from friends and family. 

Right in the center is a ticket to Joseph’s first game in net for the Leafs. November 13, 2021. She’ll never forget it, getting special permission from her coach to meet the team at New Hampshire the next day for their game so that she could go up to Buffalo to catch the Leafs play the Sabres. 

Her eyes then scan to the bouquet of lilies on her night stand, courtesy of Joseph from when they stopped by a flower shop yesterday. Then to the duvet that he had gifted her for her birthday last year because she needed a new one. 

And then finally, to him. Those blue eyes that always hold so much warmth. The eyes she immediately saw when she woke up from her surgery, a professional hockey career officially out of reach. The eyes she always looks for in a room, whether he’s there or not. 

“Hi,” he says softly.

“Hm?”

“Lost you for a minute.”

“Sorry,” she shakes her head. “Were you saying something?”

“Nah,” he says with a smile, kissing her forehead. “Four months isn’t too bad.”

“Joseph,” she deadpans. “It’s not great either.”

“I know,” he murmurs. “I’m just trying not to be sad about it now because I know it’s inevitable. You think it would get easier after six years.”

“I hope some of the Toronto jobs I applied to get back to me.”

He sighs and she can’t blame him. It’s a conversation they’ve had multiple times. “Me too, Eve. But-”

“Go where the job you want takes you, yeah, I know,” she finishes for him. “But I’m ready for a change. And I miss living in the same city. Or country. Even that’s a start.”

Joseph snorts. “Yeah. That would be nice.” He reaches over to dim the lights. “Well, if anything, I’m glad we get to at least spend anniversaries together.”

She hums. They miss out on a lot in each other’s lives — her birthday which is in March, various holidays, Valentine’s Day — but anniversaries are in the summer. And that can be theirs. 

Sometimes Evie does wonder what life would be like if they weren’t dating. If she hadn’t taken the chance and asked for the shy, cute boy’s number. If she hadn’t realized at a BC men’s hockey game that the goalie in net was so talented that she couldn’t take her eyes away. If she hadn’t said yes to going on the first date. By then she had already known he was on his way to Toronto sooner rather than later. And she still said yes. 

She went to her childhood best friend’s older sister’s wedding a month ago. Her and Joseph have talked about marriage — they’ve been dating for so long it would be strange if they hadn’t — but it wasn’t until Paige and Taylor were saying “I Do” as they put rings on each other’s fingers, Paige’s jumpsuit and Taylor’s dress flowing gracefully with the wind, did Evie look at her own ring finger for a split second and yearn for something for the first time. 

Well, he’s leaving tomorrow. Might as well bring it up now. 

“You know, if we want to get married eventually, we probably should be in the same city.” She holds her breath, waiting for his reaction, fiddling with her necklace. 

(It’s a silver maple leaf charm that Joseph had gotten her right before he left for Toronto. Evie hasn’t taken it off since.)

“You’re my favorite person in the world.” He rushes out, almost like he’s stumbling over his words. But they’re no less genuine, eyes wide and cheeks the slightest bit red. She loves all of him, but she loves him the most like this. When he’s completely vulnerable, no filter and only hers. 

She has to share him with a whole city who lives and breathes hockey. He does a good job of reminding her consistently that even with all that, what’s theirs is theirs and always will be. It’s moments like these when she remembers. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And I also know you very well,” He taps his finger on her forehead. “Just be patient, baby. It’s coming.”

She decides to act dumb, hoping she’s not clamming up. “What’s coming?”

Joseph snorts. “Yeah, nice try.” He takes it a step further, taking her left hand and rubbing her ring finger smoothly. “I knew I wanted to marry you the second your eyes opened after your surgery.”

Evie’s not sure what to be shocked at first. The fact that he immediately picked up on her signals or what he just said. She blinks. Surgery. Her shoulder surgery. Which was-

“That was like, five years ago.”

He shrugs before taking a deep breath, and she knows he’s also thinking back to that time. She didn’t know it at the time, but they’ve talked about it since. Joseph had been downright terrified, sitting in the waiting room for hours while Evie was in the operating room. He had flown to New York specifically to be by her side when she woke up. They hadn’t even been dating for a year and a half at that point, and he still says it was one of the scariest moments of his life. 

“Why then?” She asks. She has to know. 

He smiles softly. “I know it was stupid, and the success rate of that surgery is so high, but I was so, so afraid you wouldn’t wake up or it wouldn’t be successful. Then when you woke up and I saw your eyes, I realized that I don’t think I could go through my life without seeing those eyes. I guess it’s kinda cruel that I don’t literally get to everyday, but you know what I mean.”

“Oh,” she mutters. Because what else can she say? “So you do want to get married.”

A pause, then a bark of laughter. “Of course I want to get married.” She must flinch because Joseph immediately softens. “Sorry, babe. I’m not making fun of you. I just-I thought you knew. I’ve wanted to marry you for a long time. We’re just, you know, we’re young and I knew neither one of us wanted to be married young even though we could’ve been by now.”

Evie bites her lip. “You know that I don't need a ring, right?”

“I know,” he says with a warm smile. “But you’re getting one anyways. Soon. I promise. Can’t let you slip away that easy, eh?”

“First of all, I know you play there, but you’re not Canadian so stop with the ‘eh,’ he snorts before she continues. “Secondly, you kinda have had me for awhile now. Don’t think I could slip away even if I wanted to.”

He laughs before turning serious, placing a soft but poignant kiss on her lips. “I love you. I’ll miss you.”

“I love you too,” Evie says, biting her lip as she wipes a tear from his cheek. “I miss you always.”

(Three months later, Joseph proposes during sunset in Boston, echoing to their very first date when they had dinner and walked by the Charles River during sunset. Five months later, Evie gets a job offer in Toronto.)

~*~*~

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