#jorb. i dont know why. the name stuck.

[yafaemi-but-gone-fishing]

Teatime over, back onto random stuff

I started playing minecraft again because I was bored and wanted something to forget about life in. Ended up doing something I’ve dreamed about since I first got the game at like... 12.

I made a fortress. Complete with fort walls, secret tunnels, watchtowers, and even some golems. Then my little cottage in the middle.

It’s named Yafaemi Fortress. :)

The entire thing is lit up, so no monsters spawn inside the walls. The tunnels are all well lit, too, though there’s a chicken wandering around in there, last I checked.

I also have like four cats and a dog because I can. Oh! And a horse! I have like four saddles so I’m planning on getting a ton of them, and maybe a donkey. I got a REALLY good world, so I’m surrounded in villages and stuff.

[patchdotexe]

explorers of arvus: 8.27.18

anyway i forgot what we did. was last session us doing the dead grove? oh yeah i think we like, did a pit stop in welna after SAVING THE WORLD. 

basically taure got in a fight w/ the campaign antag, sieron got reaffirmed as the protagonist, charlie blew shit up, and then chego transmuted soup x100 

hhjgsdkj got derailed before the session even started bc solar has screenshots of summer saying "KJ! HAS! FUCKED!"

they also have a screenshot of summer saying "it's for the greater good! of me. its for the greater me" but sier display name is KJ Fucks and i really hope its still not that when i do the rabbit tomorrow

im actually gonna take a moment to read the last d&d thread hgxdfkhgfdlkgdlfk 

1) oh wow no wonder i couldnt remember, its been a month 2) there's a tweet that says "I SENT THE CALL STRAIGHT TO HELL" AND I WISH I COULD REMEMBER WHAT THE FUCK I DID 

[everyone starts going "hewwo?"] 

michael: so you know how the oracle shit happened a year ago? hex: WHAT (solar: i wasnt there! :D hex: YOU SURE WERENT, IT WAS A YEAR AGO) michael: yeah its been only 15 days ingame 

solar: ill horf snarf my ramen as quickly as possible-- hex: dont die! solar: DONT DIE?! hex: dont die! solar: i wont! hex: guess aile'll die! 

charlie has known most of the party for an in-game month and she is fucking ride or ride. RIDE OR DIE 

[walks back in to call] michael: ...the average human has probably not fucked paraphrased bc im LOSING MY MIND 

i linked this thread to gill bc michael isnt letting her spectate the session again and i could hear her muffledly giggling

hex: sieron has balls [immediately regrets saying it] solar: sieron has big dick energy jorb: [SOUNDS LIKE HE JUST DIED] 

penn: im pawty tweasuwew~! hex: you are! you're fucking kawaii! 

hex: im 3 feet tall and weigh as much as a toaster! michael: did you just say you're TWENTY feet tall?! hex: NO!!!!!!!! 

michael: behold the bizarrity of a hexagonal world! penn: thanks i hate it hex "hexagon aesthetic" hexagonest: [cracking up quietly] 

penn: we're going to tevarin! who's driving? it's me-- SHIT michael: "we're going to tevarin! who's driving?" taure says, from the driver's seat 

charlie: thorne! name your fucking horse! thorne: [sounding afraid and british] i- i dont know how to ride a horse! 

i love hearing gill and michael arguing in the bg 

[charlie dabs for no reason] 

thorne is having a Good Time 

thorne lived in the feywild for like their entire goddamn life so they are having a good-ass time being in a material plane also solar rolled a nat20 perception 

we're riding back to artevon so we passed the ettin from the Ettin Fight so i got to fill solar in on what happened and taure got to roll deception to pretend she's not upset :,) 

i think gill is Constantly sassing michael the entire time and i can only hear bits and pieces but omg 

michael: [explaining] thorne is from the emerald dream. solar: thorne is from bullshit land, where everything is bullshit hex: so, the emerald dream penn: i think EVERYONE is from bullshit land 

charlie rolls athletics to hold her giant fucking dog 

justin is big enough for charlie to RIDE but thats bc charlie is 3 feet tall 

oh my god i forgot tevarin is where taure did the magic weed thing. we're in tevarin rn 

charlie is banned from All Libraries 

thorne: i really dont mind either way. [silence] charlie: swag. 

thorne: who... IS the oracle, exactly? taure: hes a cool dude. charlie: he stuck me and sieron in a horrible teleporting loop. 

time to bother the oracle again! 

[everyone discovers the oracle shop is abandoned] taure: ... [leans down to charlie] can you pick the lock? charlie: "can i pick the lock", she asks. >:D 

GRYPHON!! RETURN OF BABY GRYPHON!!!!!! 

we forgot their name so now theyre Bimble 

gryphons are Monstrosities 

i think we stole bimble 

charlie, very casually to a shopkeep: taure got some weed once. 

penn: is there anywhere i can get a book on gryphons? hex: is there a library here? penn: oh no hex: CHARLIE'S NOT GOING IN THERE 

penn: open up a nice cold.. glass of bepis

taure: i dont get this magic mumbo jumbo. charlie: me neither, and i FART magic! ..thats what wild magic surges are, i just fuckin fart magic

[thorne clips into Mystery Magic Orb] 

michael: thorne closes his eyes, and hears a very quiet... pppbbbbbbt.... as bimble farts. hex: [KEELS OVER IRL LAUGHING] penn: bottle that shit, we can sell it on ebay! I DONT MAKE JOKES. I DONT MAKE JOKES. I DONT MAKE JOKES 

the party spends like 10 minutes bothering an Invisible Orb 

jorb: are you saying that orcs just naturally have a british accent?! 

i dont care what michael says, orcs are british now 

michael: [...] some lovely fowl, some steaming potatoes... hex: screaming!? michael: STEAMING, the potatoes do not scream solar & penn: [SCREAM]

michael: plot twist: you take bimble across and the horses eat kaepora. 

penn: friendly reminder: taure would die for charlie hex: charlie would die for her too. michael: they will. penn: yaaaAAAAaayyy 

[discussing if sieron is swole] michael: the real question is... is sieron thicc. [everyone has a fear response] michael: do he got the booty? [michael is forcibly removed from call] 

[michael and penn arguing over michigan being shaped like a hand] 

"i presto the SHIT out of everything." 

"i presto the SHIT out of taure" 

penn: that or, you could just tell me hex: NO 

taure: did i get it? solar: ...did she get it? michael: did you get it? 

taure got some blood on her face (bimble decided to be Extremely Cat with gift of dead mouse) and Comedy Ensues 

"i think taure IS a serial killer" 

[everyone discussing what to do about an ambush] charlie: [sticks head out of wagon grinning] i enjoy killing people! [rolls a 22 on intimidation] THE ENTIRE ENCOUNTER: [SCARED SHITLESS] [LEAVES] 

reminder: charlie is 3 feet tall, very adorable, and EXTREMELY DANGEROUS 

jorb: we killed their hopes. hex: that's why we're the Hope's Guard! --wait michael: you killed their clean underwear. jorb: UNDERWEAR: SLAIN 

we're all trying to explain Big Dick Energy to gill 

big michael energy