#joooooooin meeeeeeeee

[workingforitallthetime]

welcome, playoff canes shippers!

are you feeling lost and lonely now that the flyers, sabres, red wings, or stars are headed out to their offseason tee times? are you left holding a big bucket of shippy feelings and you don’t know which direction to fling them in? well, the carolina hurricanes are here to teach you how to love again. c’mon, let’s fix you up with a canes ship for the playoffs.

If you like: bitchy cats who hate everybody you should try: sebastian aho/teuvo teräväinen

finn it to win it, baby! aho/turbo has a very ace/aro life partners vibe, where both of them don’t like anybody but maybe deep down they would begrudgingly admit they like each other. please don’t watch this clip of them playing fortnite together... it’s so boring and they’re so happy. they must be in love because nobody else in the world would put up with this shit.

if you like: a flirty little minx and a confident older mentor you should try: vincent trocheck/martin nečas

so you’re a simple guy/gal/nonbinary pal with simple needs, and those needs are a twink posting thirst traps in his boxer briefs and an older bearded guy ready to show him the ropes. i am sorry to tell you that andrei svechnikov/jordan martinook is very much not this ship. but! fortunately the canes offer you an even better alternative: sugar boo marty necas and paisan vincent trocheck. necas is the team baby despite being older than svechy, and trocheck was acquired from the panthers at the 2020 trade deadline and has responded by becoming a leading goal scorer who’s gunning for an A next year. check out this gif of nechy getting aggressive when a former teammate gives vinny a friendly little bump.

if you like: a handsome young superstar and the lovable fourth line grinder who’ll fight for him you should try: jordan martinook/andrei svechnikov

look, i already made you a wholeass primer about why this is the best ship in the entire goddamned nhl. if you’re not on board yet, i give up.

if you like: chirping as a love language you should try: dougie hamilton/warren foegele

yes, i understand svech is in that photo too. that’s just a bonus. svech should be in every photo, frankly. but ignore him for a moment and let’s focus on the absolutely divine dynamic that dougie and foegs have when left alone together. foegs keeps bitching and bitching at dougie, trying to get a rise out of him, and dougie just placidly lets it roll off his back. exquisite. get married about it.

if you like: best friend boyfriends you should try: dougie/svech or brock/marty

FINE i GUESS a lot of people ship svech/dougie but it is not as good a ship as svech/marty and i will die on that hill. however if you like sweet dorky college boyfriends who move to the big city and get a cat, these guys have you covered.

HOWEVER if you are more into rough and tumble BFFs who might have grown up together riding their quads around the gravel pit, let me offer you bottom-sixers brock mcginn and jordan martinook. these dudes are the beating heart of the carolina hurricanes. brock is practically indestructible and energy guy marty makes the entire team better regardless of his own stats.

if you like: HIM BIG you should try: jani hakanpää self-insert

the canes acquired a finnish old god at the trade deadline and we all immediately turned into this girl. this thor-faced motherfucker cooks elaborate meals and posts photos of them on his instagram, and he looks great in glasses. go on, y/n, indulge yourself.

however!

if you like: some real fairy tale bullshit you should try: jani hakanpää/sebastian aho

(full credit to @marmolita​ for conceptualizing this ship for me.) once upon a time, 18-year-old sebastian was spending one last season with kärpät before going on to tear it up with the hurricanes, and 23-year-old jani landed with kärpät after a couple of unimpressive seasons in the ahl. i imagine lumbering jani, his nhl career slipping out of his grasp, watching young phenom sebastian from across the ice, fast and sharp-toothed and absolutely off limits. (sebastian’s dad worked for the team!) fast forward five years and jani ends up in the canes locker room in the stall next to sebastian’s. only now sebastian’s all grown up and knows what he wants. delicious.

if you like: twink4twink you should try: andrei svechnikov/martin nečas

these big-pawed puppies do a very enthusiastic chest bump before every game. once they went on a romantic getaway for spring break. sometimes i zoom in on this photo just to look at svechy’s shoulder freckles.