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aer-in-wanderland · 4 years ago

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구미호뎐 | Tale of the Nine Tailed - Lost in Translation EP03

The saga continues: part three in a series in which my sister and I pick our way through all the (mis)translations, humour, and cultural subtext that dropped from the fan-subbed version of TotNT. Thank you so much to everyone who bought us coffee - this one’s for you. ;)

Before we begin, for anyone just joining us: EP01 / EP02.

We pick up back where we left off last episode with Yeon dressing Ji Ah’s wound.

Yeon’s line that’s subbed, “Stop being a crybaby” can be a bit hard to translate. The word he uses is ‘eomsal,’ which literally means, ‘the exaggeration of pain; feigning pain; a great fuss about nothing.’ So he’s essentially saying she’s overreacting. I'm not a fan of the use of the word ‘crybaby’ here though personally.

“Long time no see, Lee Yeon.” > > > 12 Hours Earlier.

We see Thirsty meet his ignominious end in a toilet (we never got character names for these guys so I’m just going to call them ‘Thirsty’ and ‘Hungry’).

Elsewhere on the island, Rang fishes a curse doll with the man’s picture on it out of the surf. That’s quite the atmospheric shot. Point to the director.

Episode 03 Title Card: The Secret of the Dragon King

We open the following morning as Ji Ah and the man who found the body (who Ji Ah refers to as ‘Captain’) examine the scene.

Sub: “Being at sea wasn’t enough and he drowned himself to death.” I’m not sure that sentence even makes sense. I would have translated the man’s line as: “Ho~ Let no one say he wasn’t a seaman. He managed to kick the bucket by drowning [even on dry land].”

Sub: “Talk about it being all for nothing. This is what he gets after throwing himself at his life.” Um, what now? The line is: “Human lives are so futile. And after he clung so viciously to life, too.”

Lol Yeon. “I see someone threw a party.” I like this sub. What he literally says though is: “Oh~ Looks like it was a really special night.” (‘special’ here is in English).

Sub: “He smells like a stinky fish.” What Yeon literally says is: “Ugh, a smell like rotting fish is coming from this kid!” Yeon refers to the man as ‘yae,’ which literally means ‘this kid,’ but can also be used to refer to inanimate objects. So, either way...pfft

Appropriately, the BGM playing as Pyung Hee casts her curse is ‘Shaman.’

Back over to Yeon and Ji Ah as they investigate the body. The chyron on the screen reads: ‘The first survivor of the Milky Way (Deceased)’ Irony-(probably)-not-intended.

We get another chyron not long after, over a shot of Pyung Hee’s father’s head being returned to shore that reads: ‘Seo Gi Chang (Died aboard the Milky Way)’

Lol None of this has stopped Yeon from nomming on his banana milk. I had thought the milk made him seem like a little kid, but according to Korean fans, it’s also, apparently, commonly enjoyed by old men. heh

Sub: “Besides, they’re not good looking enough.” This is a mistranslation. Yeon’s line is literally: “And besides, I don’t like the look of their faces.” What he means, though, is the feeling they give off, rather than their actual ‘looks.’ It’s a common expression in Korean. If I was translating instead of explaining, I would probably render this as, “I don’t like the look of them.”

As Ji Ah drags him out, however, Yeon can be heard saying, “Ah~ I judge people by their looks~!” I’m 98% sure this is another LDW ad lib. Basically, LDW made a joke of his previous line, as if to say Yeon cared about the look of them because they weren’t attractive enough, when really his line meant they seemed shady. It’s almost as if he predicted the bad sub...

We get a brief scene featuring the second (and only named) survivor of the Milky Way, Jin Shik. Oh, and his headless ‘visitor.’ Creepy.

The music underscoring Hungry gorging himself on raw meat is making everything worse (or possibly better, if disturbing is your jam)

I’ve said it before, but I would watch an entire series of Yeon and Ji Ah being a supernatural investigative duo.

Pfft Yeon refers to Seo Gi Chang as ‘the head’ (mogaji). I’m not sure if I should call that indelicate or irreverent. It’s a bit of both, really.

Yeon’s line here is subbed as, “What happened on the boat?” but it should more properly be: “What did you do on the boat?” He’s not just asking after the sequence of events; the line is a clear accusation.

Sub: “We met an unexpected storm that day.” Actually: “Rough wind and waves hit the side of the fishing boat.” (i.e. causing it to capsize)

I appreciate that Yeon sits back here and allows Ji Ah to take the lead.

So, as it turns out, the 11th hell is actually a fishing boat (I’m sure the cast of 1N2D will back me up on this).

Fun fact: This sequence was filmed in a green screen pool and then made to look like the middle of the ocean with CG.

As an aside, I love that Ji Ah deduced the whole story on her own and that she uses that knowledge to corner Hungry psychologically. Also, that her strategy proves more effective than Yeon’s threat of violence. It’s not so much a ‘you catch more flies with honey,’ as a ‘brain over brawn’ sort of deal.

Ji Ah: You were frightened, weren’t you? Twenty-eight days straight on a perilous life boat without water or food. They’re the perfect conditions for a person to go mad, aren’t they? First-degree burns from the hot August sun striking your body mercilessly, the boat pitching about all day; despite not having eaten, you feel as if you’ll throw up. Clenching your teeth and waiting to be rescued only works for a day or two. The more you think about it, the angrier you get. ‘Why, me? Why?!’ Around the fifth day was the crisis point. Since, in that time, not a drop of rain had fallen. Dehydration would have set in first. [...] But it’s odd, isn’t it? For having starved for 28 days, you lost too little body mass. [...] What did you eat?

Meanwhile, Yeon’s contribution to all of this is: “And you couldn’t have used a delivery app in the middle of the open ocean where there’s no wifi signal.” Pfft He has, of course, caught on to her strategy. As usual, though, he decides to take the cheeky route.

Side note: I find it interesting that, in this universe full of monsters, the first incident Yeon and Ji Ah end up investigating together turns out to be an entirely human horror.

Yo. Hungry deciding Ji Ah is food is just...ugh. Never trust a cannibal.

Luckily for Ji Ah, her guard dog fox is on the job.

Over to Rang, who asks a weeping Pyung Hee what she’ll give him in return for granting her ‘wish’. We don’t get to see her answer him, but it was included in the backstory collection.

It’s unclear to me just how much Rang is involved in ‘granting’ Pyung Hee’s wish. Like, is he the one fueling the curse somehow, or did he just teach her what she needed to know? I’m inclined to believe it’s more the latter.

We cut to Taluipa at the Afterlife Immigration Office, who’s pissed that someone’s messing with her Death List. There’s a fun mythology-related chestnut in this scene: when Hyeonuiong comes running in, he’s carrying a watering can. Taluipa accuses him of having been watching dramas, but Hyeonuiong insists he was watering the Uiryeongsu.

The chyron for it reads: ‘The Uiryeongsu. A tree that measures the sins of the dead by the weight of their clothes when they’re hung on it.�� The hanja for ‘Uiryeongsu’ (衣領樹) literally mean ‘clothing-amount-tree,’ so its name is essentially its function. In traditional mythology, it grows on the near bank of the Samdocheon. This is also the same tree that the Uiryeong’geom (geom = sword) mentioned in EP13 is made from.

“You watered a tree for 3 hours?” Pfft Hyeonuiong and watering can, exit stage right.

Minor detail: I just realized I can actually see from Taluipa’s List in this scene that one of the two fishermen is named Kim Gil Sang. Still not sure which one though, so I’m going to stick to calling them Hungry and Thirsty.

The Dragon King Scroll

Back over to Ji Ah, who examines a creepy scroll hanging in Jin Shik’s vacant quarters. Once again, the show cuts into its own dramatic tension with a moment of levity as Yeon startles both Ji Ah and me by popping open his bag of snacks with a massive bang. The contrast between Ji Ah, who’s in serious investigator mode, and Yeon, who just continues his one-gumiho snack parade, blasé as can be, adds humour to an otherwise grim situation.

Yeon’s response of, “Oh. Sorry.” is in English, making it sound, if possible, even less sincere.

On the off chance that anyone was wondering, the snack Yeon claims as his favorite here is 솜짱 (somjjang). According to the Korean fans again, this is also a food commonly enjoyed by elderly people.

Subs: “Do you know how many people in Joseon died during the 50 years of war? 3.5 million. I’ve seen more deaths than all the funeral companies in this country.” This is another case of diagonal translation. Yeon’s line is more properly:

Yeon: Between the Imjin War and the Manchu War, do you know how much of the population of Joseon-era Korea was lost in just 50 years? 3,500,000. I’m a guy who’s seen more funerals than all the funerary companies in Korea put together.

[Note: Yeon is talking about The Japanese Invasions a.k.a The Imjin War (1592-1598) and The Qing Invasion of Joseon a.k.a. The Manchu War (1636)]

As a linguistic aside, Yeon refers to himself here as a ‘nom’ (rhymes with ‘home’). If you read the breakdown of EP02, you’ll recall that ‘nom’ can mean anything from ‘guy’ to ‘bastard.’ It’s not that Yeon means to call himself a bastard, though. It’s only that the typical alternative here (i.e. ‘person’) carries the implication of 'human.’ Since Yeon is, of course, not human, he opts for ‘nom’ instead. The word gets a lot of mileage in this show in relation to all the supernaturals for that reason.

Lol This exchange about the Dragon King was great. Point to the writer. I would translate it as:

Yeon: You’re right, but it looks nothing like him.

Ji Ah: You’ve...seen him?

Yeon: Back when I was a mountain god. Well, in today’s terms you’d say we attended a leadership conference together. They over-glamorized him. He’s not this good looking.

Ji Ah’s reaction is perfect too. Her, ‘I don’t even know where to begin with that statement so I’m just going to move on’ look came across loud and clear.

Yeon’s line as he leans over Ji Ah’s shoulder is subbed: “This is just like ‘Where’s Wally?’” In Korea, the game is called ‘find the hidden picture’ (‘sumun keurim chatgi’). So the line is actually: “What is this, ‘find the hidden picture’ or something?” I’d say there’s a 50/50 chance this line was another ad lib by Lee Dong Wook.

On an entirely different cultural note, ‘Where’s Wally?’ is know as ‘Where’s Waldo?’ in North America and exactly nowhere else. Don’t ask...

This scene features the first mention we get of Imoogi. Imoogi are among the most famous Korean mythical creatures. In most tellings, they are essentially proto-dragons, though occasionally they can be baby dragons. For example, one imoogi tale claims its imoogi was the son of the Dragon King (the same one Yeon attended a ‘leadership conference’ with). Most of the lore agrees that if an imoogi stays submerged in deep water for a thousand years, it earns the chance to become a dragon, though the caveats vary widely, and many imoogi fail. Finally, while the imoogi in TotNT is evil, imoogi aren’t categorically so; some are good, some aren’t.

Rang and the Mudang

Fun fact: Kim Beom explained in his Instagram LIVE that he chose to wear a red suit partially because the color gave off the feeling of a villain, but also because it contrasted well with the green of the forest. He also named this as his favorite Lee Rang outfit.

For anyone keeping track, Rang speaks to the mudang in banmal. She, in return, addresses him as ‘Lee Rang-nim’ and speaks very respectfully.

Okay, there are a couple of things to unpack in Rang’s following exchange with the mudang:

Mudang: The Corrupt God, King of the Wicked. He is Lee Ryong-nim.

Rang: [Laughs] What’s with that? Ugh, I seriously just cringed! If you slap a fancy title* from the next world in front of its name, does a snake become a dragon?

First, the mudang’s line here is said in an archaic cant. Second, ‘Lee Ryong’ (properly pronounced, ‘i-ryong,’ since there’s actually no ‘L’ in ‘Lee’), is another name for imoogi.

Finally, when Rang says ‘a fancy title from the next world,’ he’s referring to a posthumous name/title. Nearly every kingdom to have occupied the Korean peninsula has used posthumous titles (시호), most often for deceased royalty. By giving one to Imoogi, the mudang is venerating him. Rang mocks this, seizing on Imoogi’s failure to become a dragon. (Let no one say he and Yeon aren’t brothers).

The subs have Rang referring to Yeon as just ‘Yeon,’ but he actually calls him ‘Lee Yeon.’ That’s a very impersonal way to refer to one’s older brother, which is, of course, intentional on Rang’s part. It serves as another linguistic cue to the audience as to how Rang regards Yeon at this point.

A note on the evening primrose: tvN released a short blurb about it, since, as far as I can tell, the mythology was invented for the show. It reads:

Evening primrose that has grown while feeding on the blood and flesh of corpses is the same as poison to gumiho; if they so much as touch its powder, their bodies catch flame.

While the subs consistently just say ‘evening primrose,’ this should more properly be ‘burial ground evening primrose,’ which is how the various characters refer to it.

Fun fact: ‘Evening primrose’ in Korean is ‘dalmaji-kkot’ (달맞이꽃), which means ‘flowers that welcome the moon’.

Sub: “Half-brothers, to be exact.” The term Rang uses in Korean is quite literally, ‘brothers from different stomachs,’ so it refers specifically to half brothers who share a father but who have different mothers. I mention it only because Korean viewers will have been given slightly more information about their familial relationship here than was provided in the subs.

Back over to our leads, as Yeon urges Ji Ah to leave the island post-haste. His line is subbed: “I’m saying you may die if you stay here.” That’s a perfectly fine translation. For anyone curious, though, his line is quite literally: “I’m saying if you stay here, [the conditions are] perfect for dying.”

Sub: “That’s none of your business.” Yeon’s line is more properly: “That’s not for you to know.”

Ji Ah’s response to this is very literally: “I have no intention to go home for a reason I don’t know. So Lee Yeon should find the person Lee Yeon came here to find. I have to know why my parents came to this island.” This is the first time Ji Ah uses Yeon’s full name as a second person pronoun (so basically to mean ‘you’) when speaking to him. It’s hard to make generalizations about any form of address that don’t have multiple exceptions, but in this case, using his name is a more neutral, and somewhat more familiar, alternative to some of the other pronouns she’s been using when speaking to him. To my sense, it softens her rejection of his advice a little bit.

Back to Rang. His line is a bit awkward to translate, but essentially what he says is, ‘Calling my brother a ‘mountain god’ is an overstatement/ putting it nicely.’ I might approximate this as, ‘Sure, my brother was called a mountain god.’ This is the only time in the entire drama that Rang refers to Yeon as ‘uri hyung,’ and it kills me a bit that it’s not out of fondness, but rather derision. ㅠㅠ

Similarly, when Rang says, “I’m a fox, after all. I have to repay eunhye properly,” he is, of course, using eunhye sarcastically.

The subtitle here once again says ‘the underworld,’ but Rang’s line is actually: “I’m going to go to hell, without fail. Together with Lee Yeon.” The subs really need to do a better job of distinguishing between hell and the afterlife.

We see Ji Ah instruct Jae Hwan over the phone as to what to search for in the library records. She’s split off from Yeon since we last saw them.

Elsewhere on the island, Yeon also makes a call, only his is to Halmeom (Taluipa) to ask about Imoogi. When this episode first aired, I thought it was odd that Yeon was using ‘Imoogi’ as if it were a name, since this would be like referring to Yeon as ‘Gumiho.’ He later taunts Terry-Imoogi about just that though (i.e. not even having a proper name), so obviously it was an intentional decision on the writer’s part.

Sub: “If by chance Ah Eum was born again into this world, I can’t let that thing coexist with her.” This sub went a bit sideways. The ‘by chance’ has been mis-attributed. The line is properly: “There’s no way I could possibly (i.e. by any chance/under no circumstances can I) let such a thing exist in a world in which Ah Eum has been reborn.” Yeon is already sure that Ah Eum has been reborn at this point. He’s saying that because she’s been reborn, he can’t allow Imoogi to coexist with her under any circumstances.

Rang vs Ji Ah

Ji Ah returns to Pyung Hee’s to find ‘Pyung Hee’ reading Moby Dick. This is an ironic enough choice of literature to clue her in to the fact that this isn’t really Pyung Hee. Smart cookie.

On a character note, I loved that Ji Ah’s knowledge of, and love for, world literature was threaded believably throughout the drama in a way in which it feels natural that she caught on to Rang’s hint here. Point to the writer.

Again, for anyone keeping track, Ji Ah and Rang speak to each other in banmal, as has been the case since Rang revealed himself at Ji Ah’s house in EP01. Not because they’re close, obviously, but because they have zero respect for one another. It’s a bit of a power play on Ji Ah’s part, too, since she’s (hundreds of years) younger.

Over to Yeon, who barges into the local market owner’s personal quarters to interrogate him. His line when he catches sight of the scroll on the wall is subbed: “Look at this.” This should more properly be: “Check these people out. There’s one here too.” The word he uses that I translated as ‘these people’ is ‘i-geot-dul,’ which is very literally ‘these things,’ so I sort of understand the confusion in the subs. He means the islanders though, not the scrolls. In contrast, ‘there’s one here too’ does actually refer to the scroll.

The knife Yeon throws hits directly over the slit pupil of the scroll dragon’s eye. Nice aim.

Back to Ji Ah and Rang. When Ji Ah accuses Rang of orchestrating the deaths of the Milk Way survivors, ‘to distract us,’ what she says quite literally is ‘to cover our eyes and ears.’

When Rang applauds Ji Ah’s deductive abilities, his line is subbed, “Awesome.” This should more properly be, “Outstanding,” or, “Exceptional.” I honestly believe he’s being sincere in his praise. Being Rang, though, he’s probably just delighted this makes her more challenging to toy with.

Having completed his interrogation, Yeon’s eyes change as he erases the man’s memory of the event. I suspect the reason Yeon is so cavalier about revealing he’s a gumiho is because he can basically ‘undo’ it whenever he wants using this power.

Ji Ah’s quiet, “I decline” is so satisfying. Also the way Rang pulls back in surprise haha I guess he’s not used to being turned down.

Rang’s exchange with Ji Ah is subbed as: “Loosen up. Why be so stiff when it’s just good old me?” / “Let me give you some advice since that’s how you feel. Don’t gamble with another’s tragedy just for kicks. There’s a word for people like you, you know. A colossal jerk.” This is difficult to translate, and I think the subs have done a pretty good job, but a closer translation would be:

Rang: Augh— So uptight! Are you going to keep acting this uptight, just between us* (literally, ‘between you and me’)?

Ji Ah: Between you and me, then, I’ll give you just one word of advice: Don’t carelessly role the dice atop others’ misfortune. People call jerks like you ‘sleazy bastards.’

[*Note: Rang’s phrasing implies that they’re somehow close/on good terms, but he’s being sarcastic, of course.]

First off, the word Rang uses for ‘uptight’ (빡빡하다) means ‘stiff; uptight; rigid; inflexible; strict.’ By this, he’s referring to how she never lets her guard down. I don’t know that any of those words properly conveys that, though.

Second, while I translated Ji Ah’s line about the dice very literally here (in keeping with the spirit of this post), I actually like how the subs handled it from a translation/subtitling standpoint.

Finally, the subs have Ji Ah calling Rang ‘a colossal jerk,’ but the term she actually uses (‘yang’achi saekki’) is a much stronger expletive. ‘Yang’achi’ is a term for a thug, gangster, or hoodlum. ‘Saekki’ literally means ‘child of.’ In practical use, though, it’s close to ‘bastard.’ (I really didn’t think I’d be explaining the finer points of Korean expletives when I started this series, but here we are). I approximated this as ‘sleazy bastard’ above.

Pfft Rang being genuinely offended at Ji Ah’s language. Jo Bo Ah talked a bit about what she thought of all the explicit language Ji Ah uses towards Rang in her wrap interview.

Subs: “When he finds what he wants, you’ll be begging for mercy.” No idea where they got 'begging for mercy.’ What Rang actually says is, “When he finds what he wants, you’ll see hell.” Unlike in the subtitle, Rang’s warning actually has substance to it, since he’s referring to the fact that, once Yeon identifies Ji Ah as Ah Eum’s reincarnation, their fate with Imoogi will repeat itself.

By the time Yeon rushes back to Pyung Hee’s, Rang is long gone. His line subbed as: “What did he say?” is, quite literally, “Lee Rang, that nom, what’d he say?” This use of ‘nom’ manages to come off as fairly mild. (He may be a jerk, but he’s Yeon’s jerk).

Ji Ah’s response has undergone cultural translation to become: “Even when I order pizza, I never go for half-and-half. I always choose just one.” Honestly, though, I don’t know that it was necessary. What she actually says is: “Even when I order chicken, I don’t go for half-seasoned, half-fried; I’m the type to just pick one.”

This scene was originally longer but part of it got deleted. They released the clip, though, so I’ll translate the full exchange here:

Ji Ah: I'm saying I turned him down, your younger brother. Since I bet on this fox.

Yeon: Let no one say you aren’t a learned (wise) woman. Is that all?

Rang (voiceover): Don't trust Lee Yeon too much.

Ji Ah: That's all. But...you said the two of you are brothers.

Yeon: Yeah. We’re brothers.

Ji Ah: Why are you so hellbent on destroying each other?

Yeon: It seems like you don’t know since you’re an only child, but, as a rule, the relationship between siblings is a lot like noir, just without the guns.

Ji Ah: There you go, deflecting the question again. Is that a secret, too?

Yeon: If you ever happen to run into that guy again just the two of you, no matter what, run fast. That kid* despises humans. Especially humans that look like you.

Ji Ah: Why do you keep taking cracks at people's faces?

Yeon: ...I'm hungry.

Ji Ah: Why don’t you take the opportunity to pack up and leave while you still can? Your younger brother...it seems he’s preparing some sort of special event.

Yeon: That’s what I’m waiting for.

*Note: The word Yeon uses that I translated as ‘kid’ is ‘jashik.’ This is another word that, depending on how it’s used, can either be fond or rude. ‘Jashik’ literally means ‘[one’s] child,’ but it’s also commonly used in the sense of ‘punk.’ It’s a bit softer than nom. You wouldn’t use it to refer to yourself, though.

Ji Ah’s “Why do you keep taking cracks at people’s faces?” (meaning he’s insulting/taking issue with how she looks), is referencing their exchange the previous night when he told her not to smile because she was ugly.

We cut briefly to Shin Joo eating at the Snail Bride as he sizes up Yoo Ri from a distance. Come to think of it, we never got this BGM for the Snail Bride, either...

Ramen Heart-to-Heart

Lee Yeon’s one-gumiho meokbang continues. I feel like Yeon has been nomming on something in nearly every scene this episode.

The BGM while Yeon and Ji Ah eat is a remix of Yeon’s theme, ‘The Fox’s Wedding Day.’

Sub: “Just because these ladies wear baggy pants in floral prints doesn’t mean they have kind hearts. Get digging, and you’ll find all sorts of dirty secrets.” Yeon’s line is more literally:

Yeon: Living is all the same [everywhere]~ Just because grannies in the countryside wear flower-patterned pants doesn’t mean that even their insides are flower-patterned. If you start digging, venomous and insidious years come pouring out.

Ji Ah’s response then plays off of Yeon’s turn of phrase: “Is that the case for you too? I just wondered, ‘With what pattern did you live all those long years?’” (referring to the ‘pattern’ of his heart).

On a minor cultural note: the word Yeon uses is ‘mombbae pants’ (몸빼바지), which are a fashion(?) staple in the countryside. You’ll know what I mean if you run the hangeul through a google image search. That’s where the subs got ‘baggy’ from even though Yeon doesn’t explicitly say it.

Sub: “Why have you been searching for your parents all this time?” Yeon’s line is more properly: “Then what about you? What has made you wait for your parents for such a long time?”

Sub: “I’m the same. I’m waiting for the one I miss.” I would have translated this as: “I’m waiting for someone I miss,” which is literally what he says.

Sub: “Why did you part ways when you still miss her this much?” This is a bit hard to translate into natural-sounding English. The word Ji Ah uses is ‘mi’ryeon,’ which means ‘lingering attachment.’ So her line is quite literally: “Your face is so full of lingering attachment, how did you come to part ways/break up?”

Sub: “The first being I loved was a human girl who ended up dying. It’s why I’m still hung up on her. Happy now?” Hmm... I would translate Yeon’s line as:

Yeon: My damn* first love was a human of all things, but she died, so I’m foolishly unable to let go of my lingering attachment. Happy now?

[*Note: Yeon is cursing is the phenomenon of first love itself, not Ah Eum.]

His statement is witty, because the word he uses for ‘foolish’ is also pronounced ‘mi’ryeon.’ In this case, though, 'mi’ryeon’ means, ‘foolhardy and dense enough to be stubborn to a preposterous degree.’ Which is probably a fair assessment given he’s been waiting 600 years. The sub for this line made it sound like he’s saying, ‘I’m hung up on her because she’s a human girl who died,’ which would just be weird.

Shin Joo Meets Yoo Ri

Okay, minor detail, but what exactly was Yoo Ri trying to accomplish here before Shin Joo stopped her from entering an off-limits area of the Snail Bride?

The BGM here is called ‘Skip a Beat’ (‘Kanju Jump’). I found the track title slightly surprising since it’s actually taken from an ad lib made by Kim Yong Ji (Yoo Ri) in a later episode.

For anyone keeping track, Shin Joo and Yoo Ri are speaking in a mix of banmal and jondaetmal in this scene.

We next see Shin Joo on the phone with Yeon, whining about the whole ordeal and asking an unsympathetic Yeon to come back and retrieve his necklace for him.

Yeon’s line that’s subbed as, “Deadly?” could mean more than one thing. The line is literally, “What? The thief was deadly?” The word for ‘deadly,’ though, could equally mean that she was a knockout (i.e. gorgeous). It’s probably a bit of both.

Subs: “There’s nothing more pathetic than being blinded by a woman’s beauty...” / “But you also ruined your life by falling for beautiful woman.” For the record, neither of them actually uses the word ‘beauty/beautiful’ here. I would translate this exchange as:

Yeon: You... The most pathetic thing in the world, is being blinded by a woman, and...

Shin Joo: But being blinded by a woman and wrecking your life is something Lee Yeon-nim did too, isn’t it?

Yeon: What, you punk?!

Lol Yeon’s “What, you punk?!” is a familiar refrain whenever Shin Joo unwittingly(?) insults Yeon. The word is ‘imma’ (임마) or sometimes ‘inma’ (인마). Yeon consistently uses the former.

‘Bad Fate’

Subs: “Why is that branch broken? It must’ve hurt.” Yeon is actually personifying the tree here, which makes sense seeing as he can communicate with it. So his line is more literally: “Now why has this kid gone and made a fuss breaking [his] branch? It must’ve hurt.” Which is cute.

I actually really appreciated this short scene of Yeon healing the tree. Yeon may no longer be the master of Baekdudaegan, but this scene showed that it’s still very much a part of who he is; not just his powers, but the care he has for the forest.

Fun (?) fact: It turns out this simple scene was actually a huge pain to film.

Subs: “I hope you grow well.” Actually: “Eat well and grow well.” I realize that sounds awkward in English, but the line is a directive. He’s once again speaking to the tree.

Sub: “The wind is blowing from the northwest. Something is coming.” I would have translated this as: “A northwest wind blows... Something is coming.” That’s partly a tonal choice, but it’s also a more literal reflection of the original Korean.

We finally catch back up to the end of EP02, as Jae Hwan calls Ji Ah from the library to tell her what he’s found. This time, we see her connect the first dead body in 1954 to what the forest spirit told them more explicitly.

The dates of the four incidents are: August 13, 1954; August 25, 1961; September 6, 1979; and September 7, 1987. Ji Ah quickly deduces that these all work out to be the same date on the lunar calendar: July 15th. In 2020, that works out to be Wednesday, September 2nd. If you’ll recall, the wedding at the start of EP01 was held on August 29, so it’s only been 3 days since Yeon and Ji Ah crossed paths at the wedding hall.

“Long time no see, Lee Yeon.” What is it with Imoogi and choking Yeon?

Subs: “You should’ve let me go.” More precisely: “I know, right? You should have let me go.”

Yeon’s final “What are you?” should probably have been subbed as: “I’m asking what you are!” since both his tone and phrasing have grown more insistent.

Subs: Our ill-fated relationship would’ve ended if you hadn’t stopped the boat from crossing the Samdo River. More literally:

Jimoogi: Our ak’yeon should have ended. That is, if only you hadn’t stopped the boat from crossing the Samdocheon.

The word the subs translated as ‘our ill-fated relationship’ is ‘ak’yeon’ (悪縁), which literally means ‘bad fate.’ In contrast to the broader, ‘destiny’ sort of fate (‘un’myeong’) however, ‘yeon’ (縁) is inherently relational. It refers specifically to the fate between two people (or even between a person and a place). ‘Ak’ (悪) means ‘evil.’ So 'ill-fated’ is a bit misleading as a translation since the word actually refers to the relationship between Yeon and Imoogi (i.e. mortal enemies), rather than the fact that Yeon and Ah Eum’s story ended tragically (as in, ‘an ill-fated love’).

WAIT. Subs: “No. That woman is born with a face that only I can recognize. And I don’t see it in you.” What?? That doesn’t even make sense. Yeon’s line is:

Yeon: No. That woman is born carrying a sign that only I can recognize. You don’t have it.

Obviously, Yeon is referring to the fox bead, and I’m fairly sure that was apparent since the line was intercut with the scene in which he imparts the bead to Ah Eum, but that seems like a pretty critical line to fudge up.

Jimoogi: “You really don’t know anything, do you, Lee Yeon?” It’s weird to me that they have Imoogi addressing Yeon as just ‘Yeon’ in the subs. That makes it seem like they’re friends or something...

Subs: “The scar is gone.” Actually: “The wound disappeared.”

Deadball

Subs: “We hate each other too much to play catch. I actually meant to kill you.” Wait, WHAT?! Yeon’s line is:

Yeon: Our relationship is too makjang for that. That was meant to be a deadball, actually.

Makjang, for the uninitiated, is a slang word taken from the phrase ‘the final scene’ (‘majimak jangmyeon’) that has come to refer to an entire genre, as well as particular dramatic elements or conventions of Korean storytelling. Dramabeans explain the term here. When Yeon says his relationship with Rang is ‘makjang,’ he’s essentially saying it’s overly fraught, not that he hates his brother.

He also doesn’t say he meant to kill Rang. ‘Deadball’ is a Korean baseball term for a pitch that hits a player (typically causing the game to be paused). So Yeon’s just saying he meant for the ‘ball’ to hit Rang, rather than for Rang to catch it.

On a personal note, it really bothers me when the subs spread all over the internet and they’re wrong like this. I don’t mind slight changes in phrasing or wording, but when they grossly misrepresent the characters like this it can be a bit upsetting. It’s no wonder I sometimes feel like I watched a completely different drama. ㅠㅠ

Yeon’s cheeky smile™ XD

The BGM in this scene is actually ‘The Forest of the Agwi.’

Subs: “Run away.” Yeon’s line is quite literally: ‘Get away from here,’ or even, ‘put distance between here and you.’ I mention it because I really appreciated that, despite all the danger she confronts, Yeon never once tells Ji Ah to ‘run away’ (‘domang ga’). His second ‘run away’ in the subs is also just him telling her to hurry up (literally ‘go quickly’).

The following banter between the brothers is something I mentioned in an ask a while back because all the humour had been lost in translation. To recap, though, one recurring joke the show uses plays off the word for ‘bastard/son of a bitch,’ which translates literally as ‘child of a dog’ (kae-saekki). As you might imagine, this gets a lot of mileage in relation to Rang, our resident ‘baby fox’ (agi yeou) a.k.a. ‘child of a fox’ (yeou-saekki):

Rang: This is domestic violence, you know?

Yeon: (Nodding) They say you’re supposed to raise wild children* with a firm hand (literally: hit them as you raise them), but I couldn’t do that, so I ended up raising a fox child into a dog child (son of a bitch), didn’t I?

Rang: And who was the jerk who kicked that child (saekki) to the curb? You treat me like a stray dog any chance you get.

Yeon: My little brother, I’ll have to gift you a muzzle this Christmas.

Rang’s line was subbed: “You keep blaming it on me, when you were the one who turned me into an orphan.” which I find fairly problematic since that makes it sound like Yeon killed Rang’s parents. It’s also just plain wrong; to the extent that I’m not even sure what went wrong in the translation process.

The word Yeon uses here for ‘wild children’ is ‘horo jashik’ (호로자식), which many Koreans understand to mean something like a barbarian child, but the true origin, as it turns out, is a parentless child. It’s also a term used predominantly by elderly people heh

Finally, because the dog jokes dropped out ‘muzzle’ became ‘mouth guard’ in the subs, which is both less funny and less sensical. The two are also conceptually opposed, since ‘muzzle’ implies that Yeon means to protect the world from Rang whereas ‘mouth guard’ is more about protecting Rang.

As Ji Ah continues to put distance between herself and the brothers, she happens upon the mudang’s house, which she immediately clocks as such from the obangi.

I like that Ji Ah doesn’t immediately call the mudang out for lying, but instead continues to question her knowing she’s lying. Sometimes the lies people tell can be as telling as the truth.

When Ji Ah questions her, the mudang tells her the fishing ritual is held during the ‘Ghost Festival’. This is a Buddhist festival similar to All Souls Day. In Korean it’s called ‘Baek Joong Nal’ (literally ‘hundred-gather-day’) meaning ‘the day when all the spirits gather.’ It falls on the full moon of the seventh lunar month (so July 15th of the lunar calendar), which is, of course, the date Ji Ah identified as the day when the murders were taking place. That’s why we get the zoom in and the flash to the newspaper dates: Ji Ah has put everything together.

Chyron: “Obangi (五方旗) A five-colored flag symbolizing ‘life, death, illness, sacrifice, and ancestors’”. This is the quick quotes version. Obangi have their roots in the Chinese philosophy of Wuxing, but for more on that, I’ll refer you to Wikipedia. In Korea, the colors of the obangi (red, blue, white, black, and yellow) are known as the five orientation colors, and are closely tied to both shamanism and fortune telling. You’ll notice these same colors flying outside the fortune teller’s in EP06.

I also appreciated that Ji Ah didn’t just foolishly drink the tea here. She was properly on her guard. It’s only that she mis-identified the source of danger.

Back over to our fox brothers. Rang’s line is subbed: “That was plenty of time.” This is more properly: “I think I’ve bought more than enough time by now.” So he’s actually quite overt in telling Yeon exactly what he'd been up to.

Subs: “Don’t you know why she ended up on this island?” More closely: “Do you still not get it? Why that woman ended up coming to this island of all places?”

We see the mudang encircle the creepy well with burial ground evening primrose to ward against Yeon, who is currently searching the island for Ji Ah to no avail.

Subs: “You tricked your mom while you were in her womb.” This is a bit difficult to translate. The word the mudang uses that was translated as ‘tricked’ is ‘ggweda,’ which means to ‘lure’ or ‘entice.’ So what she means is that the part of Imoogi that was reincarnated with Ji Ah ‘lured’ her mother to the island by sending her recurring dreams.

Gumiho

Lol Yeon: “I am the original mountain spirit, the master of the mountains and streams. Lift this darkness and lead me to her!” This is more literally:

Yeon: I am the original mountain god, the master of your mountains and streams.* Part this darkness and lead me to that woman!

[*Note: ‘Mountains and streams’ here can also be taken to mean ‘nature’ at large.]

Lol The line is met with silence and the soft hoot of a lone owl. That’s basically the director’s version of *crickets* isn’t it?

This line is another rare case in which Yeon speaks archaically, and it serves to make the command sound more formal and potentially magical. It’s also worth noting that he’s addressing the forest directly as a whole here (thus the ‘your’).

Fun fact: When Lee Dong Wook did his TotNT VLIVE, his promotional team made him perform this line again live just to mess with him haha

The BGM here as Yeon heads off through the forest led by his (supernatural?) fireflies is ‘Opening Title: The Legend of the Fox.’ It sounds vaguely Harry Potter-ish to me (not complaining).

For the record, Ji Ah is now speaking to the mudang in banmal out of disdain.

Sub: “Be a sacrifice. You are a very special child.” Pfft ‘Be a sacrifice’ sounds oddly funny to me. Her line is: “Become a sacrifice. I’m told you’re a very special child.” So the implication is that this information came from someone/something else.

Does anyone know what BGM this is as Yeon sprints though the forest? I think it might be another unreleased track, but I’m not positive...

Yeon’s “Halt!” is once again in olden speech. It indicates linguistically that he's in Gumiho mode.

Out of curiosity, is it not odd for people watching with subs when Ji Ah’s only utterance is ‘Lee Yeon’ but the subs just say ‘Yeon’?

Subs: “This has nothing to do with the old master of the mountain. Why don’t you keep walking?” I would have translated this as: “It is a matter unrelated to the former master of the mountain. Beg, go along your way.” She’s once again using olden-speech in her second sentence.

Lol Sub: “Says the living corpse.” I like this sub. Yeon’s line is quite literally: “With the ‘juje’ of a living corpse...” ‘Juje’ is essentially your station or lot in life, and it’s used almost exclusively derogatorily.

Sub: “Who was it that provided you with longevity you don’t deserve?” More closely: “Who was it? The one who gave you a lifespan so much longer than you deserve?”

Yeon: “I asked you whom you serve!” (literally ‘what’ you serve). Yeon once again drops into an archaic cant for this line. It serves to underline his full age and gives his demand an extra air of authority.

Yeon’s TAILS. I can’t believe this was the last we saw of them. ㅠㅠ Personally, I interpreted the firey tails as being a sort of ‘shadow’/ projection of his actual tails, which I assumed were actually more physically there (since he talks about shampooing them in the teaser interview). My sister thinks differently, though. Guess we’ll never know...

The BGM for this sequence is naturally ‘Gumiho.’ If you read our EP01 breakdown, you’ll know I was fully expecting this to be Yeon’s theme. But no, it’s the whimsical 'The Fox’s Wedding Day’ instead haha

Okay, Yeon just casually smiting the mudang is pretty badass. Seeing as he can command lightning, I’m pretty sure he was joking when he told Ji Ah, ‘even gumiho are afraid of electricity.’

If by chance you wondered what was going though Yeon’s mind when he smote the mudang, it’s featured in the EP03 subtitle poster.

I appreciated that Yeon just accepts Ji Ah at her word here when she tells him all she needs from him is one arm for support. I feel like in most dramas the male lead would have just forcefully swept the heroine off her feet amidst her protests, which I always find more problematic than romantic.

For that matter, when it became clear that Ji Ah really did need help, I appreciated that she didn’t act shy or coy and just accepted being carried without making a big deal of it.

Pfft The way Ji Ah’s eyes flash when Yeon tells her the mudang was just a human being says it all.

Yeon: “So you say... Excuse me, but you nearly died just now, you know?” This line is once again cheekily in jondaetmal.

*Ominous close up of the well*

Thank You

We catch up with Shin Joo at the supermarket as he talks to Yeon over the phone.

Shin Joo’s ‘PD-nim’ has once again become, ‘the director lady’ in the subs. *Sigh*

Subs: “Your love story is more than just famous among us.” Actually: “Just how famous is Lee Yeon-nim’s love story in our world? It’s obvious your younger brother* must have been playing tricks!”

Shin Joo refers to Rang here as ‘donsaeng-bun’ (younger sibling + polite word for person) for the same reason he calls Rang, ‘Lee Rang-nim.’ It’s an extension of his regard for Yeon, rather than for Rang himself.

Lol Shin Joo hanging up on Yeon. His love for supermarkets and fried chicken are actually in his character profile. Apparently, they’re what convinced him living as a human was worth the existential crisis that came with it.

Sub: “I’m too much of a human to easily fall asleep after such an event. Join me.” More literally: “I’m human, so on a day like today I can’t sleep sober. You* have a glass, too.”

The word Ji Ah uses for ‘you’ here is ‘ja’ne’ (자네), which is a polite term... except it’s only used to refer to people younger than you. So’s she’s talking down to him politely haha This is what prompts Yeon’s line that follows it:

Sub: “I never said anything since it could make seem old-fashioned, but you’re too informal with me when you don’t even know my age.”

Yeon: I kept holding it in thinking you’d call me an old fart, but you’re [using] banmal really blatantly. Just how old do you think I am?”

Yeon’s ‘Just how old do you think I am?’ is rhetorical. It’s not that Ji Ah is necessarily unaware of his true age, but rather that she acts as if she is.

Sub: “Those over 60 are universally considered as grandpas.” Actually: “You know everyone over 60 can be called a grandpa, right?”

Pfft Sub: “Be as informal as you like.” What Yeon literally says is, “Please lower your speech,” but he uses very respectful language to say it. I’m not sure if he’s being sarcastic, or if he just hates the thought of being considered a grandpa that much haha It’s probably a bit of both.

Aww Ji Ah promising to protect Yeon. I luff her.

Ji Ah: "Do I perhaps have something you’re looking for?” I love that she doesn’t miss a thing.

Lol Yeon: “Who am I, Jesus? Just drink what you have.”

The Vanishing

Subs: “Don’t ever resort to cursing people again. Karma can sting.” Quite literally: “You were lucky you kept your life, but don’t do such a thing* as cursing others ever again. They return, you know. Back on the one who casts them.”

*Yeon uses the disparagement marker ‘ddaui’ (따위) to refer to the act of cursing someone here. You may recall it from our EP01 breakdown.

Ji Ah chooses this moment to come running in to announce that the island has turned into a ghost town over night, which is enough to make even Yeon pause, perplexed.

I love the way Yeon and Ji Ah exchange looks here on the dock. They don’ t know what’s up yet, but they intend to find out.

‘Blue Moon’~~~ This worked great scored over the drone-camera pan out. I may be slightly biased, though.

And that concludes Episode 3. Once again, thank you to everyone who commented or left feedback on the last episode! Never hesitate to send me your thoughts, even if they’re just to say what you found funny or surprising. It helps me to know what’s of interest for one thing, but I also just enjoy chatting about the show. ;)

A brief note on pronunciation/notation: for words like ‘sa’ingeom’ and ‘mi’ryeon,’ the apostrophe is there just as a pronunciation guide. So in the case of the former, to indicate that it’s pronounced ‘sah-in’ and not ‘sine’ or ‘sane.’ Similarly, for the latter, the apostrophe is just to indicate that this should be pronounced ‘mi-ryeon’ and not ‘mir-yeon.’ I could have just as easily done this with ‘Hyeon’ui’ong’ except that’s a lot of apostrophes and I set an earlier precedent of not. It’s not an aspiration or anything fancy. Hopefully that makes sense.

Once again, I’d like to credit my sister for being the main researcher and fact-checker for these, in addition to weighing in on all the translations. I don’t always take her advice, but I do always appreciate it haha.

Thank you also to everyone who bought us coffee! Your support is truly felt and appreciated ♡ As usual, this took an ungodly amount of time, so every coffee helps haha. For anyone just joining us (or not), if you’d like to see more of these, please consider buying us a coffee. If you follow the link, you can buy a $2 cup of virtual coffee. This helps me to gauge how much interest there is, and also how much value people place on these. If you cared enough to read all the way to the end, please at least consider it. Once I’ve established there’s enough interest, I’ll proceed with Episode 4. ;)

#tale of the nine tailed #totnt #lost in translation #구미호뎐 #kdrama #korean language #happy new year!

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ranma-rewatch · 4 years ago

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Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Good morning, good evening, and goodnight everybody. Today I’ll be covering the ninth episode of Ranma 1/2, which is also the third episode in Ryoga Hibiki’s introductory arc. I don’t really know what to expect from this one, most of my memories of this arc are from the front half, but I’m interested to see where it went next. Oh, and with this episode I’ll be halfway through the first season! So that’s neat. Well, next paragraph I’ll have rewatched the episodes, so I’ll see you then.

That was a pretty interesting experience. It really feels like this episode was adapting two different chapters, each with a radically different tone, and together they kind of add up into a good summating of the Ranma 1/2 experience, only missing the acting scenes and love dodecahedron elements to tie it all together.

As you might have expected, this episode begins right where the last one left off, just as one of Ryoga’s weapons chopped off a chunk of Akane’s long hair. At first, she doesn’t react at all, leaving Ranma to feel really bad about it, talking with one of the school girls there about how getting a bad haircut out of nowhere like that would feel terrible for any young woman. This is also when the students realize they don’t know who this red-headed ‘girl’ is, but Ranma tries to change the subject.

Ryoga steps up, not to continue the fight with Ranma, but to point out that at least Akane wasn’t actually injured. Still, Ranma brings up that it still hurts Akane emotionally. They both ask Akane to punch them, to let out any anger she might be feeling. She ends up doing just that before walking away, and it looked to be some damn good punches too. That doesn’t seem to be enough though, as she also shatters a metal telephone pole on her walk home, and in the process realizes she twisted her ankle earlier. Her first instinct is to go and see Dr. Tofu, but she doesn’t want him to see her like this.

Instead, we cut to Akane in her room, remembering why she grew her hair out in the first place. We flash back to Akane as a young kid, fresh from a fight at school, going to see Dr. Tofu. Back then, she had short hair, and it’s clear even then she was fond of the doctor. But the high school age Kasumi shows up, turning Tofu’s brains to mush, and causing him to refer to Akane as a ‘he’. As they walk home together, Kasumi tells her little sister that if she tried to dress less like a boy, maybe people wouldn’t mistake her for one. This leads Akane to think that maybe if she grows her hair as long as Kasumi’s, maybe Dr. Tofu would like her the same way he likes Kasumi.

Coming out of that flashback, Ranma is at Akane’s window, but she doesn’t want to talk to him. Instead, she goes to see Kasumi, who is shocked by what’s happened to her hair. Instead of telling her the truth, Akane just says she messed up cutting it herself, and asks for Kasumi’s assistance in making it even. There’s a brief cutaway of Ryoga trying to head to the Tendo household to fight Ranma, only to be waylaid by an old lady asking for his help.

Sometime later, Ranma is back in his uncursed form, and he learns from Kasumi that Akane is going to Dr. Tofu’s. It’s then that he, and the audience, see Akane with short hair for the first time. Ranma apologizes as hard as he can, but tells him that she’s over it, and that him being nice to her feels weird.

At the clinic, Dr. Tofu is surprised by her short hair as well, but tells her it’s cute, and suits her a lot better than long hair did. As he’s tending to her injury, she starts crying, which turns into sobbing into the doctor’s shoulder as he offers comfort. Afterwards, Akane is heading back home with Ranma, apparently feeling better after crying, and he points out that she got what she wanted: Dr. Tofu said she was cute, right? But Akane says she’s over all of that now.

For reasons that are clearly mysterious and not due to jealousy about some other guy telling Akane her hair was cute first, Ranma makes it clear he likes her shorter hair as well. When she reacts with confusion, wondering if he’s okay if he’s complimenting her like that, Ranma starts to backpedal, before instead doubling down, really telling her it’s cute. She smiles at that, and thanks Ranma even if she might still suspect he doesn’t really mean it. To which, we can hear Ranma’s thoughts, as he is amazed to realize she does genuinely look cute. But while he’s distracted, Akane tips him over into the water.

That’s the end of that part of the story. Next part begins with Ryoga finally reaching the Tendo estate, a week after the previous events happened, in the night, in the rain, using an umbrella to protect himself. When he gets inside the house, he finds Ranma asleep, and tries to wake him up so they can properly fight. Ranma dodges attempts by Ryoga to hit him awake, and when Ryoga tries using shouting to get him up, all he succeeds in doing is instead waking up Ranma’s father in his cursed form, who knocks Ryoga and Ranma outside in annoyance, where the rain triggers Ranma’s curse, and Ryoga is still able to use his umbrella to keep himself dry.

As they prepare to fight, Ryoga finally decides to give Ranma a clue as to why he’s so freaking angry at him: after Ranma missed their duel, Ryoga followed him and his father to China. Ranma quickly puts two and two together, asking Ryoga if he too went to Jusenkyo, if he also has a curse. Meanwhile, Akane and her sisters wake up from the noise, and they assume there’s a prowler around. The other two hide behind Akane, and she throws a dumbbell at who she thinks is an intruder, nailing Ryoga hard enough to make him drop his umbrella. This finally activates his curse, but he scampers before anyone can see what it does to him. All Ranma can find afterwards are his clothes...and a mangy dog not far away.

Back with Akane, she finds an adorable black piglet in her room wearing a yellow and black bandanna that’s soaking wet with cold rain, and takes it downstairs to take care of it. Ranma has assumed the dog he found is Ryoga, but doesn’t want Akane to know that, trying to protect Ryoga’s secret. However, Akane quickly realizes that it’s one of their neighbor’s dogs, and Ranma confirms with hot water that it isn’t Ryoga. Then, as he goes off for a hot bath, Akane passes him the pig, since the animal needs a bath too. Ranma does it, even if he doesn’t like it, but as he finally pushes the resisting animal into the water, Ryoga emerges. Cliffhanger! Again!

Alright, like I said before, this episode is functionally two separate stories glued together, so let’s handle one and then the other. First thing I noted about this episode was that there’s a quick shot of Nabiki looking concerned for Akane after her hair accident. I only point it out because she’s known in the fandom for being fairly ruthless and sociopathic, and this is a moment that kind of goes against that. Nabiki obviously loves money, and can be quite selfish, but she does have some empathy for her baby sister.

I can’t remember if this is exactly the first time in the series thus far attention has been called to Ranma’s curse kind of giving him a weird secret identity issue with his schoolmates in general, but it is at least the first time it’s been given as much focus as it was at the start of this episode.

This is also where Ryoga starts getting some more shades to his character. From what we’ve seen of him thus far, it wouldn’t be unexpected if he’d just kept trying to fight Ranma, but even without knowing Akane at all, he still accepted the fight was at least paused, and once it was made clear to him how devastating this was to her, he offered to be punched if it would help. I also think the way he phrases that offer gives some insight into him: he talks about how letting the anger out by hitting him would make her feel better. Is that what his vendetta with Ranma is, a way to unleash all the anger roiling inside of him?

There is a neat bit of imagery around there too, how for a second Akane’s facial expression makes you think she won’t hit them, then we see construction equipment in motion that feels like it symbolizes violence, then we cut to her just walking away. It isn’t until we see their swollen faces that we know she did follow through on their offer.

Aside from those sorts of details, I just really like the mood of this entire first half. There are very few attempts at jokes, instead just focusing on Akane’s mental state. I feel like, while her situation is pretty strange and specific, it’s easy to relate to. I think we’ve all, at some time or another, been hurt by someone else without them realizing it, over something that only mattered to you so much because of some odd, ineffable thing that just you understand.

Throughout the segment, Akane waffles between shock, anger, trying to make the best of it, sobbing, and moving on with her life. I particularly enjoy the bounceback of her trying to take control, getting that haircut with Kasumi, getting compliments for it...only for it to stab into an emotional vulnerability, causing her to break down with the doctor. That all really worked for me.

The same is true for Ranma’s reaction. I don’t know if we’ve ever seen him this hung up on hurting someone else before. He’s clearly bothering her at some points by not leaving her alone like she clearly wants him to do, but he gives a genuine apology, which is clearly really something from him, and his compliment at the end was so cute. It was adorable shippy nonsense, and I adored it. This segment of the larger episode also had a lot more to do with our previous arc, about Akane and Dr. Tofu, than the Ryoga plot, effectively serving as the capstone to that tale.

I feel there was nearly as much to like in the second half. This part was definitely more jokey, with lots of Ryoga being bad at directions, silly background music (which I honestly can’t stand, it’s just a weird personal thing for me), and wacky hijinks with Ryoga as a pig.

But there was still meat to be found with the funnies. Once again, they took the time to establish Ryoga a little better with how he acted towards Ranma. For someone always shouting about how he wants Ranma to die and go to tell, whose vengeance drives him, he had a perfect opportunity to just kill him in his sleep. But it didn’t look like he even considered that. Instead, he just kept trying to wake Ranma up so they could fight. You could argue Ryoga is too dumb to have thought of that, which feels like the kind of thing Ranma would say, but I’d counter that maybe it’s a sign that Ryoga is more about talking about killing than actually doing it. In a kind of equal and opposite event, I liked how Ranma was just immediately all about helping Ryoga once he learned about the curse, trying to assist the dog he thought was Ryoga while keeping it a secret from Akane.

This is also when we finally learn why Ryoga is so angry at Ranma, or at least begin to get the larger picture. It wasn’t just bread, or a missed duel, but that Ryoga kept on Ranma after that, leading to him being cursed to become an adorable little piglet when exposed to cold water. He definitely manages the curse well thanks to his umbrella (I don’t know why Ranma never thinks to try just covering his head), and the care he’s taken to use it to avoid getting wet in the last episode and in this one was some foreshadowing as to what his deal was.

On the whole, this part of the episode was more like set-up for the next one, but it wasn’t bad at all. Together, the two pieces actually meshed together pretty well, at least to me. I got my emotional feels, I got my shippy moments, and I got my boi Ryoga. What else could I want?

Like I said last week, there are other characters I could be doing spotlights for who’ve already been introduced, but they haven’t really done enough yet to be worth covering, at least in my opinion. Thus, we’re going back to Akane.

Since the second episode, we’ve gotten a lot more of who she is, especially between this arc and the one before it. They’ve kind of toned down the whole ‘hates boys’ aspect of her character, and instead refocused on her feelings towards Dr. Tofu, towards Ranma, and towards herself.

I think it’s clear, even to Akane herself, that her crush on the doctor is childish. She likes him because he’s an adult who’s always treated her seriously, appreciated her for who she is, and given her his time. At least in my experience, a lot of people have had some kind of affection similar to hers, towards someone older than us when we were too young to do anything about it. Even as we get older, and we know there will never be anything with that person, we still have a hard time letting go of it.

With Ranma, I think a firm pattern is developing. Aside from occasional moments when she takes her frustrations out on Ranma, Akane is generally becoming more fond of him. Between this episode and episode 6, one could argue she’s starting to actually like him. The problem is that Ranma is kind of a jerk. He regularly does stuff to make her upset, at which point he either makes it worse or starts acting nice. She clearly appreciates when Ranma is trying to help her and cheer her up, but it doesn’t stop the fact that his default setting is ‘abrasive’.

Most importantly with the first half of this episode, we’ve gotten a good look at how Akane sees herself. It’s pretty obvious that the long hair/short hair issue isn’t just about how long her locks are. The issue represents her struggle between being herself, a tomboy who enjoys fighting and martial arts and being more free-spirited, versus being who other people want her to be, more traditionally feminine. It’s honestly kind of weird in the first half of this season, watching her with the long hair. Short haired Akane is cuter, I think it’s hard to deny that, but it’s also her being happier with who she is, and that’s the cutest thing in the world. I’m still not 100% happy with how they handle her violence towards other people, but I talked about that last time, and it doesn't feel like that’s something the show will ever really address.

If it wasn’t clear before, I quite enjoyed this episode. The only particularly weak parts for me were with Ryoga escorting the old lady around, but they were short and didn’t do too much to mess up the pacing. I won’t lie, I’d say this is actually the second best episode so far, only falling behind episode 7. That makes the current rankings:

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Next time, we’ll have into the back half of the season and the last episode of this storyline with episode 10, “P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'”. See you all then!

#episode 9 #True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!#ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #akane tendo #ryoga hibiki #anime analysis #anime rewatch

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quantumdanger · 5 years ago

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“Drink Me”

Leave a “Drink Me” in my ask, and I will write a drabble about my character taking shots with yours.

@illtaketheskyanyday

🔶 “I… I have to say I’m a little surprised you invited me out for drinks.” The smaller fowl released a laugh, keeping his eyes to the train floor. Damn Ace for not allowing him take a hover cycle only because this wasn’t a ‘mission based’ outing. Falco didn’t seem to mind having to stand with him and share a handrail but Darian wasn’t the best at reading people. So long as the train rode smoothly then maybe Duck would feel less embarrassed about—

A hard jolt, the wheels striking something large on the track sent everyone flying some feet to one side, the pilot pinning the hero against the doors. On accident of course as someone else had slammed into him. Falco had taken much harder hits than this and pushed himself away from the waterfowl as much as he could. If this jackarse behind him didn’t get off his back though… Catching himself growling, Falco formed a smirk with his question. “What makes you say that?”

Knowing the guy’s temper, Duck found it shocking he hadn’t punch the other person’s lights out yet. Again, he wasn’t the best judge of character. He pressed himself as much as possible against the doors, keeping a distance as his shoulders went rigid. Heat crept up along his cheeks with every passing second but he refused to face away. “Um, you’re always busy? You have better friends to hang out with?” There must have been other reasons but his scrambled brain couldn’t function properly. Those dark blue eyes played a major part.

Once he had more room to move, Falco pried away from the doors but slung an arm around the duck’s shoulders. “Danger, I think some drinking would loosen you up. I can tell you’re always tense.” As if making a point, he squeezed one of Darian’s locked arms. “I’m surprised you said yes. I never pegged you for an alcohol type but, it was worth a shot.”

Tense… that was much better than Falco noticing why he stiffen up around him, his whole body freezing from the grab. Thank goodness for black feathers covering his cheeks. Maybe he would look less up tight if he pulled down his jacket zipper? He held the metal piece in thought and slowly pulled to half way, revealing a long necklace with an anchor pendant. “I-I said I would so long as I got to pick the place.” A place he knew very well and could order weak shots for himself and let the ace go wild with his own drink choice.

Once their stop arrived, all it took was a few steps off the platform and one block to the bar. “Yep, here we are, the Spread Eagle.” He presented with an arm waving at the sign with an eagle appearing to swoop down at any moment. “The original one was somewhere in the UK but, that was a long time ago. This one has more a Tiki theme. It shouldn’t be too busy at this time.”

Spread Eagle? Did Danger know what that meant? “Have you actually been inside?”

Thoughts quickly threw back to the rarity of the team having free time to spend the night however they wished. Even with their youngest Loonatic being 19, they snuck him into locations easily. Duck never went past his limit of three drinks but, slowly built up to four. “Course I have! How else would I know that they have a tiki theme decor? Let’s go in a grab a seat already.” Perhaps having some one on one time with his crush in a slightly more intimate environment brought out his eagerness as he took the lead through the doors.

Yep, dark lighting as ever but, he had been here often enough to remember where the seats were and guided them to a tree trunk table for two. Feeling more comfortable, the hero opened his jacket fully, draping it over the chair then passed the menu, already knowing his order. “They don’t have cocktail service here but, I don’t mind going to the bar and ordering for us.”

Holding a sly grin with eyes glancing over the waterfowl, Falco shifted his gaze and read the selections. They did not have any drinks like this back home. “So the number of skulls measures the level of intensity? Oh, says here you can buy a souvenir glass.” A few moments of reading later and the bird set the menu aside. “Let’s start with a round of the Nakalele Knockout for the both of us and see where we go from there.”

“Got it. Be right back—” Wait. Did he say for the both of them!? He snatched a menu off from another empty table, finding the drink with… five skulls? The duck never went higher than three. Was Falco trying to get him plastered drunk? Or did he think Darian could handle something like that? And did he say start? “Should… should I tell them to open up a tab?”

“Sounds good to me.”

As he settled the shots down on the table and held up the small glasses, they clinked together and threw back the drinks. Holding down a grunt and trying his damnest not to make a face, Duck swallowed hard, the hibiscus flavor not strong enough for him as the rum burned predominantly down his throat. Keep it together, you got this. “Aah~! Didn’t I tell you the Spread Eagle Bar had the strongest drinks or what?“

“Can’t determined that after one taste. Order another and let’s try something else after? Says drink two and watch your step. We can handle it.” He found it refreshing to try something new and tropical. What else would wake the senses? Not wanting anything too weak where he couldn’t taste anything, he avoided the lower levels, skimming past them. Hm. Mango and ginger sounded like a spicy blend to try. When his companion returned with the second round, he asked before drinking. “Ever had the Wai’anae Wipeout?”

Was that another five skull level? Oh no, it was. “I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure.”

“After this one, we’ll get it. Don’t worry, I’ll grab it for us.”

You got this. You had a heavy lunch and you know your limit. Falco wouldn’t think little of you if you couldn’t handle as much as he could, right? “How kind of you. Can’t wait.” The second time though, Darian waited for the other male to drink before he tossed his shot into a nearby plant, who probably had one too many based on its lopsided stance. He hoped this wasn’t going to end up being a night he would forget in a drunken haze as Falco returned with the wipeout shots.

“Sucks that they don’t serve any food here. Not even chips! Oh well, bottoms up.” Mmm! They were not kidding around with the ginger. The ace caught himself laughing and slid over another shot for Darian, having ordered two sets. Four shots in, he hadn’t felt anything hit him yet but maybe this planet’s alcohol took a while longer. It was fascinating to discover the culture and qualities of other systems as some were similar to what he was used to. “Topped with a 160 proof float.” He read off another from the list, finger tapping the edge of his beak. “What the hell is a float? I doubt it’s ice cream.” He folded the menu and stood, heading right back at the bar.

“Ice cream would be a blessing right now.” He sighed, pressing a palm over his forehead and staring at the other bird. My limit is three but I’ve never had three five skull rated drinks before. I feel light headed already, maybe I should just tell him I can’t handle anymore? The room isn’t spinning yet so maybe I can do another?

“How’s hero work been treating you?”

Falco’s voice broke the waterfowl out of his panicking thoughts as he grabbed the shot glass without even thinking. He detected the sweet scent of oranges and mangoes and assumed it safe but didn’t put it to his lips yet. “I’m grateful for these highly resistant super suits but, being tossed around, pummeled and pulverized can take its toll.” Duck threw back the shot, rum burning down his throat and settling in his stomach again as he forced a smile. The light headed sensation grew as he swayed a bit in his seat and held onto the chair’s edge. “What was that one?”

“Hey, we’re supposed to be doing these together.” He feigned a frown but drank to catch up. “I’ll let it slide since it sounds like you need it. Most of my missions involve using cannons to blast enemies out of the sky. If you ask me, you’re ready to be in the air instead of on the ground where they can reach ya.” Now he felt a small buzz but not enough to stop him. “Oh, it’s called a… let me look again. A… Wild Watusi.”

He didn’t even have to check, knowing that as another high rated beverage. This wouldn’t end well for him if he didn’t stop taking shots. For years, the hero normally looked at as a joke always told himself not to care what anyone thought of him and it worked for most of his life. The mentality helped him pursue his goals but, looking like a lightweight in front of someone he looked up to and … developed an unintentional fondness for … pushed him to impress the ace. Just get him to keep talking and not drink! “You talked about big guns, what about big ships?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, the arwings we pilot are set in the mother ship called Great Fox. It’s pretty huge.” His tongue clicked. “Let’s see what I can remember about it. Custom built by Fox’s dad. Dude took out an 80 year mortgage for it which we’re all trying to pay back.”

“He took out an 80 year what?!” Good thing Darian didn’t have a drink otherwise, he would have spat it out.

“Ships are expensive as shit! Yeah! 80 years it’s going to take!”

“I think I rather go back to getting pummeled.” His little tactic in getting the bird to chat it up seemed to have a chance in working. He wondered how well.

A few hours and many shots later…

“Oh my gods, I am so sorry!” Darian laid his head to one side of the arm rest and covered his face with his jacket. He thought he could pace himself in drinking, spacing out the shots he took, when the talking method failed. He got up a few times to order at the bar but, mostly to see if he could still walk in a straight line.

“It’s ok.” Falco found it slightly humorous when his friend wobbled a few times to and from their table, trying to hide his painfully obvious drunken state. He had to hand it to the duck though, his speech never once slurred but his legs were a dead giveaway. “Good thing you didn’t take that hover cycle, huh?”

“This is embarrassing!” If not for the fact he rather not risk using his powers when intoxicated and not leave Falco alone, Darian would have teleported himself out of there as fast as possible.

“It’s ok. You’re probably not the first person ever wheel chaired out of a bar.” It sounded funnier when he said it out loud, pushing the duck towards the exit but he knew he couldn’t take the chair to the train. “Look at the bright side, you can hold your liquor.” He scooped up the smaller bird in his arms, heading out with the help of another patron holding the door.

The drunkard immediately struggled in the hold, peeking out and heating up at their closeness again. “You don’t have to carry me.”

A brow rose. “Can you stand?” He didn’t wait for an answer while setting the duck to his feet. Darian held firmly on the pilot, his knees buckling as he didn’t even take a step before falling to his side. Luckily, Falco caught him right on time and scooped him back up. He was still amazed how he didn’t weigh a thing. “Clearly you can’t. C’mon.”

The waterfowl whined, hiding himself under his jacket again. “No one look at me!” With every step the pilot took, the hero cursed himself mentally for getting so drunk but he had at least kept his enamored feelings shut. Though, when he peeked out and noticed some ruffled blue feathers along Falco’s neck, he reached and preened at least twice before hunkering back down. He kept quiet after the slip and took in the relaxing warmth from the male, curling into his chest and resting his foggy head against him.

“Think you can sit on your own?” Falco tried shifting Darian to one seat on the train ride back but didn’t hear a response. “Danger?” He checked under the black jacket, giving the hero a shake. He only received a soft snore as his friend hardly stirred. He must have passed out fast. Eventually, when they reached the Loonatics’ home, he had to wake up but, until they got there, Falco decided to let him sleep off the multiple shots.

#illtaketheskyanyday #Daredevil Duck Thanks You 🔶 Answered Asks #This was a lot of fun #thanks star!!!!#Mun Drabbles #I know some peeps say a drabble is only 100 words but #I feel like it's a short story #Drinking Tw #Profanity Tw #Long Post #V2 🔶 Hero Now

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sarcasticgaypotato · 6 years ago

Text

(( Ridiculous fluff for @bondibee‘s ‘LaaC.’ You see??? I promised something happy, I deliver. )) GLaDOS didn’t find it strange for Chell to grab onto her arm in the early morning hours, preventing her from sliding out of bed to work. Chell often insisted on sleeping in late, spending lazy mornings that often turned into lazy afternoons, lounging around like a cat, doing next to nothing, and attempting to get GLaDOS to do the same. GLaDOS normally refused- if she had gotten the appropriate amount of sleep this body needed, she wanted to get to work, not waste valuable time just lying there- but this time, Chell seemed more insistent than usual. And, to her surprise, while the former test subject was usually sleepily persistent and easy to ignore, this time, Chell seemed wide awake. “Just...don’t think about work for five minutes.” Chell had propped herself up on her elbow, gazing down at GLaDOS with a gentle- but very much awake and alert- gaze that occasionally… flickered. Darting ever so slightly towards the door. “...Why? ...What did you do- mpfh!” GLaDOS hardly got to finish her sentence before Chell leaned forward, capturing her lips in a kiss. For a moment or two, the core considered pushing Chell off and properly questioning just what it was that she was up to, but…as Chell’s lips insistently pressed against her own, GLaDOS decided that she could hold her question for a minute or two. Chell hadn’t broken anything or attempted any murders in… a very long time, so whatever she was up to likely wasn’t so urgent that GLaDOS needed to worry about the facility caving on top of her head in the next two minutes. How long had it been? Since all of this started? Since Chell first killed her, since they worked together to kick the little moron into space, since Chell left and came back, since they had been engaged in this.... romantic companionship? GLaDOS hummed in thought against Chell’s lips, mulling this over as the human practically rolled over on top of her. It had been longer than months, it had been years. Chell had come back to Aperture exactly six years, two months, and ten days ago. GLaDOS could’ve let herself get down to the hours and minutes and seconds, but the feeling of Chell’s hands cradling her face distracted her. Calloused hands, larger and stronger than GLaDOS’s own, yet possessing a gentleness that made GLaDOS question how they ever could have been used to harm her. GLaDOS looped her arms around Chell’s neck, running her hands down and splaying her fingers out against her partner’s muscular back, tracing her fingernails over the thin fabric of Chell’s tanktop, feeling the telltale excited shiver down her spine in response. It was suddenly far too easy to just close her eyes, to brush aside the thoughts of whatever she had been saying a minute ago, and lose herself in the moment. Or... it would’ve been easy, had she not heard the sound of a door creaking, and the very faint shifting of metal. Instantly, her eyes shot open, and she sat up, pushing a suddenly sheepish looking Chell off, and casting her gaze towards the entrance to their room. Standing in the doorframe were Atlas and P-Body, both standing close together, and looking almost bashful as their optics seemed directed anywhere but the bed where GLaDOS and Chell currently resided. It took a second look- and a double take- for GLaDOS to realize that P-body was holding a metal tray with food on it. This was not the first time they had acted as waiters, but… GLaDOS knew she had most certainly not asked them to do this, and immediately turned her gaze to Chell, not even needing to open her mouth to get the question across. What on earth was all of this? Chell let out a small exhale of air that almost sounded like a slightly nervous laugh, her cheeks looking surprisingly flushed as she beckoned the co-op bots into the room. “You… never really said if you’d care about this sort of thing or not but… today’s technically your birthday.”

Chell scratched the back of her neck, somehow managing to look more flustered than GLaDOS had… ever seen her look. The stoic, determined, stubborn human looked positively nervous. “...You do know I was never born, right? I’ve joked about the brain damage, but if you’ve actually forgotten that I’m a robot, I am genuinely a bit concerned.” GLaDOS raised an eyebrow, adjusting herself on the bed and relaxing some of the tension in her shoulders, followed by allowing the tiniest of smirks to cross her lips as she watched Chell stumble over an explanation. Chell wasn’t technically wrong, a quick check into the Aperture database confirmed that today was the day that the GLaDOS project was first brought online. The closest thing to a birthday that GLaDOS would ever have, and no doubt what Chell was basing her reason for celebration off of. A closer look at the tray P-body was holding revealed a small assortment of baked goods- freshly made, judging by the smell- most of them chocolate, and all of them deliciously sugary. GLaDOS would admit to no fondness towards the process of eating food, but… she might’ve discovered one or two little things that she enjoyed more than expected. Pastries and sweets being the most common. Turning her focus back to Chell, she noted that the human was still vainly trying to mix her stumbling over words with vague gestures, as if that were helping her get the words out of her mouth. The former mute had-shockingly- never been very good with words, and especially not this early in the morning. Raising a hand to gesture Chell to stop in the middle of whatever uncertain apology had been about to leave her mouth, GLaDOS let the hint of a smirk on her lips shift into a much more noticeable smile. “Frankly, so long as we’re taking a day to celebrate my being alive and not a day dedicated to murdering me, I’ll take it.” ----- From the morning onwards, GLaDOS found herself questioning why they hadn’t started doing this years ago. She had never seen Atlas, P-body, or even Chell be this well behaved for so long. Nothing broken in the facility, everything running smoothly. Atlas and P-body scampered off shortly after GLaDOS and Chell ate breakfast- Chell had given the two of them a rather pointed look that clearly the two bots seemed to understand as a silent order to do something- and before GLaDOS had the chance to complain to Chell that she’d have to round them back up for testing… Chell had shaken her head. She got up from the bed and made her way over to the closet, pulling it open, and taking out a very distinct orange garment. Chell was going to do the testing for today. No catch, no lounging around in the test chambers and doing them purely for her own amusement, she was actually going to do the tests that GLaDOS made, help with science for a change. GLaDOS’s eyes lit up and she could hardly jump up off the bed and pull Chell into a kiss fast enough. Science was always important, but GLaDOS honestly could not say if she had been this excited in a very long time. She had become so used to the co-op bots and their way of going about a test chamber that she felt her heart skip a beat and the air knocked out of her lungs when Chell practically leapt into that first chamber. Where recording the bots’ results was routine, watching Chell had GLaDOS holding her breath, and sitting on the edge of her seat. Everyday testing had fallen into only being done for its importance, with less and less personal interest to GLaDOS as time went on. But this? Watching Chell’s movements was intoxicating, they were fluid, swift and sure, never clunky or robotic. Always ten steps ahead, but never predictable. Any nervousness that she had held onto from earlier that morning was gone in an instant, melting away like ice in the incinerator. Chell had never looked quite so at home as she did with a portal gun on her arm. Test chambers became second nature to her, and the ASHPD was as familiar as a part of her own body. She danced through each chamber with the elegance and confidence that made GLaDOS wonder if she could do the whole thing blindfolded. Time flew by in the same way that Chell flew through puzzle after puzzle, and before GLaDOS felt like she had the time to blink, several hours had passed. Chell had completed the tests in the section, and raised her both her hands, gesturing to indicate that she was calling it quits for the day. GLaDOS found herself having to actively hold back the whine that wanted to leave her throat in protest. Just one more chamber? Or maybe a couple more, but at least one. But alas, Chell was firm on leaving the test chamber when she did, and making her way over to GLaDOS’s chamber to poke her head in for a moment or two to inform GLaDOS that she needed to cleaned up, and that they both needed to get ready. Tonight’s dress code was formal. With that, Chell ducked out of the room as quickly as possible, giving GLaDOS no chance to question or argue. GLaDOS had made it very clear that she thought Chell and formal wear went together like a couple hundred scientists and neurotoxin- very, very well- but it was a rare occasion that she could force the woman into a suit. Chell preferred athletic, comfortable clothing. Function over fashion, even if that meant looking atrocious. So the mere thought that Chell was not only willing to dress herself up, but was preemptively making the decision to do so without so much as a peep of encouragement from GLaDOS was… admittedly very interesting. Chell wanted a formal dress code? GLaDOS would show her formal. ----- Chell came to get GLaDOS about two hours after she had finished testing, looking almost a completely different woman than before. Squeaky clean and dressed in a sharp, perfectly fitting suit. The nervousness from that morning had returned- showing itself as an anxious tapping of her foot- but her face lit up when she saw GLaDOS, dressed to the nines, and wearing a dress made with each fiber planned to match with Chell’s outfit. She pulled the core into an embrace- careful not to smudge GLaDOS’s makeup or ruffle her dress too much when she brought her in for a quick kiss- and gave GLaDOS the most adoring look the AI had ever seen. It looked as disgustingly sappy as something out of a badly made romantic movie, which GLaDOS was certain to tell Chell, who merely responded with a laugh, before pulling away, and taking GLaDOS’s hand. She brought the core to an unused storage room, one that, last GLaDOS had checked, had been little more than an empty white box. Now, that couldn’t be further from the truth. While perhaps another time she would’ve taken the time to complain that Chell had painted the walls and floors without permission, that she had no doubt misused the assembly line to fill the room with appropriately themed furniture and decorations, that she had hijacked the speaker system to play music, and that- if the way the two of them were standing off to the side of the room had anything to do with it- she roped Atlas and P-body into all this, but... GLaDOS just couldn’t seem to find it in herself- no matter how hard she was trying- to complain. She opened her mouth but no sound came out. She let herself be ushered forwards and sat down at the only table in the room, covered in a black tablecloth and illuminated by candles, and GLaDOS was speechless. She let Atlas and P-body trot their way over to the table and chirp out a partially off-tune but well intended version of ‘happy birthday,’ and not a single snarky remark left her lips. She let Chell send the two of them off to start bringing the food, and she was still silent. It was only after her and Chell had been sitting in silence at the table for about five minutes that words finally left her mouth. “I… cannot believe that you did all this without me noticing sooner.” She looked around the room, still trying to take it all in. Chell went to this kind of effort, for what exactly? The anniversary of GLaDOS’s creation, a date that neither of them had celebrated, or even really mentioned up until this point. What made this time so special? Chell didn’t say anything. She just smiled sheepishly, and shrugged, mouthing the words ‘guess I just got lucky.’ Her dominant arm rested on the table in front of her, and she was softly rapping her fingers to the beat of the music playing in the background, still seeming… nervous. Her other hand seemed equally fidgety, shifting between resting in her lap, and being shoved in her pocket. GLaDOS had mentioned the apparent anxiety when Atlas brought a bottle of wine over, teasingly noting that clearly, Chell needed it more than she did. Atlas had let out a chirp that, if GLaDOS didn’t know better, she would’ve called excited, before just barely managing to not spill the bottle of wine, and then scampering off to join P-body once more. Chell, on the other hand, had turned bright red and rather abruptly brought both of her hands to be folded in her lap. GLaDOS rolled her eyes and raised her glass in a toast that Chell readily accepted, deciding that she’d ignore it for now, and just focus on enjoying the evening. Dinner was lovely, much to GLaDOS’s surprise. Beautifully plated, fancy little dishes. Nothing too heavy or too greasy, nothing sloppily done. Minimalistic, aesthetically pleasing. Much like Aperture itself. Chell had gone out of her way to actually speak more than a few sentences all dinner, proving herself to be quite the pleasant conversation partner when she tried. However, she never fully seemed to lose the uneasiness, it just seemed to shift from place to place. Tapping her foot or swirling the wine around in her glass, fixing her hair, or playing with her damn pocket again. Dessert was even more delicious than dinner, reminding GLaDOS why she even bothered eating food in the first place, and GLaDOS was content. Perhaps there really was something to humans and their celebrating of birthdays, it wasn’t as pointless as she once thought. And when Chell stood from the table and gestured for GLaDOS to do the same, the AI fondly thought to herself that perhaps, there was a small bit of dancing in the evening left for them to enjoy, before the actual day of her ‘birthday’ was up. However, either Chell didn’t remember how to dance, or she seemed convinced that she could do it with one hand still fidgeting in her pocket. GLaDOS, finally sick and tired of not knowing why Chell had been looking like she was about to explode almost all day long, opened her mouth to demand an answer out of the human, once and for all. And, for what felt like the hundredth time that day, GLaDOS was interrupted before the words could leave her mouth. This time, not by another voice, nor by a kiss, But by the sight of Chell lowering herself to a single knee in front of her, and taking a small box out of her pocket.

#chelldos #love as a construct #portal #portal 2 #glados #chell #human!glados #atlas #p-body #I'M SORRY THIS IS SO SAPPY #I ONLY HAVE TWO MODES #ANGST AND SAP

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delusion-of-negation · 2 years ago

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ok but consider without the invention of disposals to fuel laziness we wouldn't have horror movie scenes where someone get's their hair stuck and scalped or the killer places one end of a wire down the sink then makes the other into a noose and turns on the disposal to choke their victim to death wouldn't exist

okay but consider that a noose is for drop hangings and it kills my suspension of disbelief when a supposedly talented killer uses a noose for a kill like that instead of a more appropriate knot. [tw ahead obviously, I'm gonna talk about hanging and portrayals of murder and suicide] the big knot on the back is to break your neck as you drop - you don't die from being suffocated in a proper, successful drop hanging. in fact, because it's not tightening, if you are strangled by a noose instead of your neck broken, you don't tend to suffocate, it's usually not tight enough, nor is it usually tight enough to cut off bloodflow to your brain, it usually cuts off bloodflow out of your brain (because of your body weight, which in the kinds of knots that do asphyxiate properly would tighten the part around your neck significantly) - which is as painful as it sounds. trust me on that. you absolutely do not want to survive the drop part of a drop hanging (or any hanging not tight enough) - and if you don't drop a pretty big distance (and I mean big, there's a reason gallows are so big), your chance of surviving the drop part increases. when suicides on tv have a person just kick a chair out from under them, I'm like "oh wow yeah that person would have survived the drop and likely died in the most painful and slow way you can die from strangulation. horrible." especially since the fact tv seems totally misled on this leads to people actually mimicking that when they commit unalive and... it's like how shooting your head from the side is easier to survive than people think, it's not instant certain death. I really don't know where I stand on portraying suicide, because on one hand being more honest leads to less people trying things that are actually slow and painful, or definitely would not work (tiny overdoses of stuff you almost certainly wouldn't die from even a large overdose of, for example), that can end up wrongly labeled as "gestures" and not legit attempts by psychiatrists. people knowing facts could lead to those people being in less pain, being able to make informed choices, etc. but on the flip side, it also means people who would've survived suicide attempts because of ignorance are now dead, and dead is generally considered not a good thing to be. I think at least we need to stop showing methods that aren't instant, fast, and/or certain as instant, fast, and/or certain, like hanging on tv should not be a couple twitches and it's over, either be brutal or don't show things that are brutal. y'know? obviously that's my opinion, I don't think we should 1984 anything that doesn't show it how I want or anything. and I'm not (since people misinterpreting me today) saying that showing suicide makes people suicidal, obviously, I'm saying we obviously don't educate people on how to die so the only information they get on it is from how it's shown in media, so people who already want to die are misled on how to. so yeah. I'm not about to tell y'all how to tie a better knot for that kind of hanging, I think that could be pretty irresponsable, but I will tell y'all- and killers in horror movies- not to use a goddam noose unless you want the death to be your veins making like what happens to a hose if you stick a rock in the end. ideally don't unalive at all, pretty much every way has a significant chance of being slow, agonising, and so forth. stop it, get some help.

tangent aside, that's another loss for garbage disposals, I'm afraid. blenders and other machinery can serve this function well, and too many inappropriate nooses have sullied any appreciation.

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meladotjournal · 4 years ago

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Esther - As The World Caves In

EPISODE TITLE: “... And I Feel Fine”

“Esther and Aeszura are back, reunited with Kadriel, and everything’s going great. A little too great. The trio is in for a rude awakening.” (stolen from Kari’s lovely creator)

GOD has entered the chat.

Takes place during Supernatural Season 15, Episode 12 -- “Galaxy Brain”. Chuck has decided to destroy every single alternate reality, which of course includes that of our dear original characters. Set sometime after Esther’s resurrection, the previous end to her storyline. Near 2300 words!

/////

Esther’s body was different. For starters, it was almost unbearably warm. And tired. She lay in bed, with a heavy knit blanket over her legs, as instructed. Human, undeniably so — her skin no longer glowing from any fancy brand or curse or possession or enchanted knife, but from her own renewed spirit. Every atom, every fiber regenerated and patched together, burning and restarting her system completely.

The blade was no more, her tether reintegrated into her system in some dubious amount, but it was enough to feel whole. Technically her physical body was only a few weeks old, but it was a practically perfect replica of what she was before any of this had started -- before the monsters, before the deals, before the day the world split into two. She could stand to lose a few years, they had always joked, but having it actually happen was something entirely alien. And even then, her childhood scars and even her piercings were nowhere to be seen. Her trusty denim jacket was also lost (and it would have been much too warm for her now anyways) so she fiddled with the sleeves on her newest and itchiest sweater, getting used to the feeling of fabric on her skin, something she hadn’t felt even when she did have a body.

Things were different, but she was home. There was no more running, no more resenting or repressing. There weren’t any more doubts or voices clashing against each other in rough agonized tones, but one unified Esther. Everything wiped clean, baby-smooth pink skin rubbed raw and healed without question by the angel Kadriel. Kari.

She knew that she would have to find a way to help Kari, not because she was obligated to, but because she wanted to. Her chest ached in an unfamiliar way that she both hated and loved, for the first time in a long time finally feeling.

It had been a long time, impossibly long, since Esther last walked the Earth. It was even more difficult now to process, and Esther had to stop herself from wondering how far along her corpse was in the decaying process, if there was a corpse at all. Kari didn’t like to talk about it -- about the time she spent alone. A lifetime ago Esther wouldn't have cared so long as she was still functioning as needed. But what used to be a twinge of guilt was nestled in the center of her brain once again, and she held back her burning questions until Kari was comfortable talking about it. Esther didn’t remember much, if anything at all from the time in between. Sometimes, just as she was drifting off to sleep, she could feel flashes of something her mind couldn’t quite wrap around. A clenched fist, cold leather seats, an aluminum briefcase, and then blinding bright light. If she didn’t know any better, she would have assumed she had visited Heaven.

Esther watched the angel from across the room. Before, she never really understood how it felt to be nothing more than a human surrounded by all-powerful supernatural beings. She never heeded the feeling of static in the air, or the migraines, or the taste of blood in the back of her throat. Putting the supernatural aside, despite her unchanging appearance, Kari was difficult to recognize. She’d give a friendly wave and smile like always, but it never reached her eyes, not anymore. Esther recognized the look, the dullness. If she was different, Kari was immeasurably so, with her hawklike gaze and eerie presence. After thousands of years of unchanging existence, what could possibly have happened that could do this to her friend?

Pulling her own now-glossy eyes away from her much older friend, she squinted at Kari’s borrowed laptop from where she sat on the bed.

“Put your glasses on, Esther,” Kari chimed, “I didn’t give you brand new eyes just for you to neglect them.”

“I look like a fucking nerd.” She did.

“Yeah, you do.” Another voice agreed. The lump of blankets piled on the couch trembled before revealing a vibrant mop of hair and a mess of freckles. “Please just, urgh, destroy them before I have to shove them down your throat and choke you with those ugly fucking things. I’m still not convinced that’s even actually you over there -- you’re like a shitty clone or something.”

Esther wasn’t used to having her feelings hurt. Aeszura went back to her phone, mindlessly scrolling through musical.ly -- TikTok. Even their phones are different, Esther complained. I can’t believe they came out with another fucking iPhone, They couldn’t wait until I stopped being dead?

“I simply wouldn’t allow that to happen. Besides, you know that’s not how it works, Aes,” Kari sighed.

Esther perked at the mention of what “it” was, but unfortunately the explanation ended before it even began. She knew that Kadriel had worked tirelessly to bring her friends back to life, but it never occurred to her that Aeszura could have helped along the way somehow.

“Keep laughing,” she squinted in the direction of the red blob, “I noticed that you’re missing some freckles, p-pizzaface.”

“Don’t even pretend like you can see that far. Idiot. Stupid.”

Esther threw her head back into the hard wooden headboard of the bedframe, swearing at the sky before angrily shoving her glasses on. She glared at Aeszura. Different. Everything’s different. Aeszura, despite her best efforts to loudly scream otherwise, had grown. It was hard for Esther to place. Was her hair longer? Were her eyes softer? She was definitely angrier, but Esther couldn’t figure out why. She didn’t like talking about what happened either, but Esther knew enough to piece together that she died sometime before Esther did. Her mouth went dry at the memory, at the sound of her phone endlessly ringing in a black sedan, the final voicemail and the hole in he forehead and the fucking Muppets. Her stomach clenched, a pit of ice chilling her insides. Different. But they were still here. They were still together, somehow beating the odds and breathing the same air at the same time. No monsters, no case, just them, at home (wherever they were), together. Esther locked eyes with Aes and smiled, because despite everything -- despite the pitfalls and the immeasurable traumas divided between the three of them -- she was so damn happy. Before she could open her mouth to speak, her phone went off.

At the same time, Kari bolted upright, her hands clutching her head. Seconds later, all three of their phones buzzed, a frantic siren and an avalanche of notifications filling the room. Esther’s stomach dropped once again, too scared and too overwhelmed by her annoyingly human brain to process whatever was suddenly being broadcast on the TV. Kadriel?

“Oh, God -- A-angel radio -- going -- argh. Can’t-- can’t hear anything. Um, excuse me,” Kadriel’s face wrinkled, eyebrows furrowed with the effort of sorting out through hundreds (or was it tens?) of panicked inaudible voices. “God -- God?”

“What the FUCK is happening, Wings?”

“Kari-- are you okay? Aes -- your phone --” Esther jumped out of bed, shoes still on, of course. Her heart pounded. Annoying.

“The sky, oh my God -- Satan -- FUCK. SHIT. The sky, you guys, the fucking sky --” Aeszura clutched her phone, nails tapping angrily on the already-shattered screen.

“My father is back, it seems --”

“Portugal, Cuba, London, even fucking Guam --”

“Or he was --”

Esther looked between the two of them, hyperventilating. Stupid. Annoying. For a moment she wishes that she was back to the way she was, comfortably numb. She shook it away as quickly as possible, shaky hands clutching for something that didn’t exist anymore. She places a hand on her chest, scratching at her annoyingly pristine skin, trying to feel for the raised lines of skin that are no longer there.

“What’s going on?”

Kari gave Aeszura a meaningful look.

“It’s the end of the fucking world.” She spits, shocked and pissed and incredulous.

“What-- what about God??!”

“He’s the one that’s ending it,” says Kari, hushed and so, so very tired. “Heaven and Hell are already gone. The empty, I think, too. Earth’s all that’s left.”

“Wh-- what do we do?!”

“I think we need to step outside, Ess.”

/////

There’s nothing to do.

Esther’s friends both dissolve at the same time, and for one very terrible moment she panics, suddenly alone. Suddenly so much more afraid. And she’s not used to it at all. Stupid, she reminds herself, They’ve gone outside. With shaky legs that refuse to fucking work properly, she bolts through the front door to join them.

/////

There’s nothing for us to do. It’s happening. After everything, despite everything, the end comes anyway. We thought we could cheat death, and we did, for a time.

Suddenly, I am alone, and for one very terrible moment I panic, suffocating, choking on emptiness. My friends -- my friends are gone. Stupid, I’m being stupid. They’re outside. It’s fine.

As much work as Kari put into this body I fucking hate it sometimes. It’s just that I hate feeling scared all the time again. I hate when my emotions affect fucking anything, be it the way I think or how my body moves. But at least this isn’t a vessel forged by God, not anymore. That rat-bastard. I don’t want to think about what’s happening, or why, or him. I am a new creation forged by the blood, sweat, and tears of my friends. Still owing them, always, but at least now I’m here to repay them with whatever time we have left. Maybe the tether isn’t gone. Well, it obviously isn’t, it’s me. Just different. Different. And with my new stupid shaky legs I sprint outside to join them.

The sky is blue. The air is hot. Everything would be fine if it weren’t for the giant flaming meteors headed straight for us. The sky just keeps getting hotter and God doesn’t care.

I don’t want to see this.

Aes has her hands shoved in her pockets. I can’t see her face -- she won’t let me. What is she thinking about? I’m sure if I could then I would see the comet reflected in her eyes. I would see pain. I do see millions of shredded pieces crammed into the one and only Aeszura, the only truly redeemed demon ever to exist. For someone who talks so much, I see all the words crammed in her brain that she never lets slip out. Secrets, so many unthinkable things that I’ll never get to know. I want to punch her. I want her to push me over and laugh and I want to sing stupid songs and give her stupid gifts and call her mean things like we always did. There’s still people we have to piss off, and things we need to talk about when she’s ready to, and places to vandalize and funny tulpas to invent and harass people with.

I still owe her my soul. I hope she knows she has it. Always has. Whatever kind of soul she’s got buried under there, ours are mates. I can see them going down to a shitty bar and downing as much booze as they can steal, going on roadtrips and doing crimes and running away from the soul-Feds. If the world wasn’t ending we’d have made it remember us. Can’t really raise hell when it doesn’t exist anymore. I hope that idea gives her some sort of peace, knowing she can’t be tortured anymore. She was never evil, never deserved the shit she got stuck with. And now, good or bad, kind or cruel, demon or angel, we’re all going to the same place.

Kari looks so tired. Her shoulders slump now, and she’s somehow much more gray, much more guarded. I want to make it okay. I want to apologize for everything. I want to go back to the gardens and I want to hold her hand and I want to spill drinks and complain. I want to teach her about toothpaste and I want her to tell me about the bible, like my parents used to when I was a kid. I want her to place a glowing hand over my face and make it feel okay. There’s still movies we have to see, and things we need to talk about when she’s ready to, and places to visit when the weather is nice and when I can stand upright for longer than fifteen minutes without getting tired.

I still owe her for my being here today. I’d still take this over anything, over zoning out of my mind in heaven reliving illusions of whatever good memories I could possibly have. If I could choose just one moment to live in for eternity, it would be this. Anything less than the end of the world wouldn’t feel right, I think. The world is always ending. And at least for this one I’m whole, and I can feel it. As shitty as the terror-filled part is, I still feel so fucking alive, for the first time. Never in my life have I ever felt so alive. And I can see my friends, the people I can finally call my friends. I’m not alone in the sky, and not in the pits either, I’m in the middle, and it’s a damn good middle.

But there’s still people to save. So many people.

I need to hold something. My hands are wretchedly empty, clammy, and shaking. It’s definitely out of character, and very embarrassing and very stupid, but I step closer between the two giants and pull the both of them closer to me.

Finally pieced together, even if it’s a little late.

I’m still happy anyways. It’s as good of an ending that we’ll ever get, I suppose. Together.

#works #trad #drabble #this is a fic written about supernatural ocs #if you're reading these tags hi ily #who would've thought I'd ever update this huh #look at us. who would've thought. haha not me!#more art on my instagram!#and a funky video edit!#i wanna try to have an illustration for all of these eventually

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lady-une · 7 years ago

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Chapter 4

A/N: Hey people of Tumblr so thanks for taking the time to read this little thing. I hope you all like it and if you feel like it please to let me know what you think. Big thanks to my beta @tears-of-orphans for taking the time to reach what i come up with and letting me know what she thinks. There is no way for me to be a better writer if i dont get back any feedback from people. So as always share away! A little fun is had at the end just an FYI. :-p

Sarah

Ever wake up and completely forget where you are? That’s how I was feeling. My alarm had just gone off and I opened my eyes and they were still blurry from sleeping that I started to panic because I didn’t recognize the room I was in. It took my brain about a minute to catch up to that what happened yesterday was in fact not a dream and that I was currently in the spare bedroom at Jay Park’s apartment located in Seoul South Korea. With my brain now functioning properly I shot up in my bed and turned that stupid annoying alarm off. I stretched my arms out above my head and twisted my torso trying to wake my body up. Jay wanted to leave by 6 and I realized I should have set my alarm to go off earlier then what I had it at. I quickly went to my suitcase and opened it up grabbing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before I grabbed my toiletry bag and went off to the bathroom to wash up. The guest bathroom was super nice, it had a cool looking rain shower head that I was really excited to use and the sink looked like a big glass bowl. Over all it was very artistic and went well with the rest of the vibe the apartment was giving off. It didn’t take me long to do my morning routine before I threw on some light makeup and brushed my hair. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen today so I figured I mind as well toss my hair into a ponytail. As I was leaving the bathroom Jay was just coming out of his own room looking like he was ready to just go and relax with his sweatpants and hoodie.

“You all set Sarah?”

“Yeah, let me just drop this off in my room and grab my bag.”

He gave me a nod and went towards the front door. I tossed the dirty clothes on my bed and grabbed my backpack that still held my laptop and headphones and made sure to toss my phone charger in there as well. I snatched a clean hoodie out of my suitcase and went to meet Jay. The drive to the studio wasn’t that long and I sat there really hoping that there would be some kind of coffee shop nearby or that they had some at the studio because I was still extremely tired from the flight. We pulled up to studio and Jay parked his car just as another car was pulling up. As we were walking to the door I heard the other car door open and close and turned around to see Cha Cha walking up.

“Morning Jay, Sarah.”

“Morning Cha Cha.”

“Sarah you can call me Chase when it’s just us.”

“Duly noted.”

The three of us walked into the studio and Chase went one way while me and Jay went up to his office. It was still pretty early and the place looked dead. I wonder if it’s always this dead? I thought to myself as I sat down in one of the chairs in front of Jay’s desk.

“So before we get you all set up here and have you start working on the music I need to go over some legal stuff with you. I know it’s rather all boring but its required to not only protect the company but you as well. I had my legal team draw up these documents which basically says that for a year you will only be allowed to work on music with and for AOMG. You will not be able to work on any other music for other companies during that year. Before any kind of media coverage is done you need to get the approval from our PR and legal team. You will be working under an alias name aka your stage name while you are here with AOMG. Anything said within the company building must stay between company employees. Since you will also be staying at my apartment until we find you your own place you will also have to make sure anything you post does not show that you are in fact at my apartment. Any social media accounts you have must now be made private, if you want we can set you up with a public profile under your stage name so you can post stuff that deals with AOMG on there. If you don’t have any questions then please sign and date this.”

He slid the documents over to me and I glanced over everything and signed my name. I was now officially part of his company even if it was for a trial period. With that out of the way he took me on a small tour of the studio and showed me the rooms that everyone uses and where everyone would usually hang out. It wasn’t a big building compared to the other label’s buildings but it fit his company well. Right before we went to where everyone was waiting we stopped by the cafeteria to grab some coffee. Just the smell of the dark liquid was waking me up and making me feel more alive. When we finally got back to the room that we were currently recording Loco was in the small recording room doing some vocal work with Gray and Chase at the control board. I sat on the couch that was against the wall and listened to the song that Loco was singing. Hearing music being made was interesting, it was raw and so untouched. I bobbed my head to the beat and it just made even more excited to be here and doing this. It wasn’t long before Loco was done and was coming out of the small room to hear what they had. Gray played it back for him and they talked about some things that needed to be changed but overall they felt like it was good.

“Hey Sarah how about you get in there and just go for it. Let’s see where you are at and we can go from there.”

I looked at Gray over the lid of my cup with a surprised look on my face. I figured they would have gotten to me eventually but didn’t think it was this quick. I set my cup of coffee down and stood up. I rubbed my now sweating hands on my legs as I walked over to Gray. He handed me some paper with the lyrics on it and told me not to be worried and just to take it slow. I took a deep breath and went into the room and shut the door. The room was sound proof and it made me feel as if it was closing in on me, like there was a pressure in the room and it was trying to push me down. Maybe it was just my nerves and the anxiety of sounding bad in front of everyone. I tried to push that all aside as I picked up the headphones and placed them over my ears. I heard Gray through them and again he reminded me to just relax. The music started up and I could hear the raw voice and beat that Loco had just recorded. I followed along with the sheet of paper and went with it. I did my best to not let my nerves come through my voice and the more I sang the calmer I got. The music clicked off and I looked up to see Gray with a thumb up along with Loco. I smiled and walked out of the room.

“How was it? Was it just awful?”

“No Sarah it was pretty good for your first time. You have some spots we will need to work on but overall it was pretty good.”

I smiled at Gray happy that he thought that. I turned my head towards Jay who was sitting down on the couch looking into his phone.

“What do you think Jay? She did good no?”

“Yeah, she wasn’t that bad at all Gray. Make sure you work with her on this. I have some meetings I have to get to so I will be back later.”

With that Jay put his phone back into his pocket and waived at us as he left the room.

Jay

I knew she would be nervous her first time in the box, we all were. Her voice as she started off was weak but the more she sang you could hear her confidence build up. Even nervous she still looked stunning in there singing and I wanted to be there to help her but I had some meetings with some other artists that I could not miss.

Sarah

With Jay out of the room we all turned back to our work. Chase offered to help work on Loco’s parts while Gray helped me with mine. With Loco back in the box doing his thing Gray took me over to the couch to talk to me about my portions. It was all pretty easy fixes, have more emotion on this part but pull back on this. Raise your tempo here and be softer in this section. The rest of the day was spent taking turns in the box recording our sections. At around 1pm Gray called lunch and we decided to order out. As we all sat around the table eating we talked about just the normal everyday things. The guys joked about stuff that happened on the tour while me and Chase talked about Game of Thrones of all things. I didn’t peg him as one to watch a fantasy show but this man loved his GoT. We easily tossed around theories about what would happen with the night king and who would finally sit on the iron throne. It was nice to have someone around that had similar interests.

After lunch we all went back into the room and went over our sections for a last time. It was rough and by the time I was done my voice was tired along with my body.

“You holding up ok Sarah?”

“Yeah, this is more work than I ever thought.”

Gray let out a chuckle.

“Yeah, I don’t think anyone actually really understands the amount of work that is put in until they are here doing it. How’s your voice?”

“It’s a bit rough.”

“Wait here.”

Gray got up and left the room returning a few minutes later with a coffee cup.

“Here sip on this it’s just some honey lemon tea. It will help sooth your throat.”

I took the cup from him with a smile. I took a sip of the tea and felt the warm liquid go down my throat giving me some instant comfort from the strain I had put it through.

“Wow that’s really good, thank you.”

Gray gave me a smile and a pat on my shoulder before going over to Chase and messing with what me and Loco had recorded. The rest of the night was spent going over the song multiple times with Gray tweaking little bits of it. I really wasn’t much help with this since I was still so new to it all so I basically sat there on the couch listening and watching them work. I would offer my opinion every now and then when they asked for it. I could feel myself getting tired and decided that it wouldn’t hurt to just rest my eyes while they worked, my body still wasn’t use to the time change.

I awoke to someone gently rocking my shoulder and I opened my eyes slowly to see Gray crouched down with a smile on his face.

“Hey sleepy head, wanna wake up and listen to this?”

“My bad, yeah sure.”

I sat up not realizing that at some point I had laid completely down on the couch. Gray took a spot on the couch next to me and told Chase to go ahead and play it. The song filled the room with its quick and deep base. Locos voice quickly filled the room talking about having fun with the guys and about a girl he saw across a room. Next it was my voice that filled the room, the lyrics mirrored his about me being out with the girls having fun and catching him in my eye sight. The song went back and forth talking about how we wanted to dance with each other and how he couldn’t keep his hands off me. The song ended with him humming out the final verse.

“So what do you think?”

I sat there just dumb founded. I didn’t know how to form a sentence. I kept opening my mouth and closing it again and just looked at Gray and smiled.

“You like it I take it?”

“Yeah.”

I said nodding my head like an idiot with a big smile on my face. I didn’t care how dumb I looked at this point. I was hearing my voice in a song being sang along with Loco. This was just insane that it actually happened! The door opened and walked in a very tired looking Jay.

“So how’s it going in here?”

“We are all done here. If you want we can play what we have. I’m pretty sure you won’t want to change anything.”

“Yeah lets hear what you have Gray.”

Chase played the song again for Jay who was standing next to him at the control board. He was bobbing his head and concentrating on the music coming through the speakers. When the song completed he nodded his head.

“Sounds good to me. It’s pretty late and it doesn’t look like any of you have eaten so how about we all head out to dinner?”

We all stood up and walked out to the cars. Loco and Gray drove together while me, Jay, and Chase drove in his car. I sat in the back seat while Jay and Chase talked about the meetings he had that day and about other artists and the music they were working on. It didn’t take long before we were pulling up to the burger place that they frequented. We all walked in ordered our food and sat while we waited for it to be made. The conversation was pretty light between everyone, I was sure that once they got some food in them their energy would pick back up. I turned towards Jay who was on his phone yet again.

“Hey Jay, does it usually go this fast?”

“Fast? What?”

“Making the songs?”

“Not really, I mean it takes some time to get the beat out and then to find some lyrics that go along with it. This one only went quickly because we had already been working on it and just needed a female voice for those verses. It also helps that you already have a good voice so not much work needed to be done. But no, it never really goes this fast.”

I nodded and our pager went off to signal our food was ready. Ever the social butterflies these big boys were once the food was out they all took out their phones to record videos or take pictures. I just laughed and took a bite of my food, it was crazy that people would make fun of girls for always getting that perfect picture of things meanwhile these guys were just as bad. After everyone was done eating Gray and Loco wanted to out for drinks but Jay turned down the offer and I had to agree, even with the food in me I was exhausted. Chase drove back to the studio with Gray and Loco while me and Jay headed back to his apartment.

The drive back was spent in a comfortable silence both of us exhausted from the days activities. When we finally reached the apartment we both said our goodnights and went to our rooms to get ready for bed. Once I was finally there I crashed the second my head hit the pillow.

The next couple of days were spent the same way as the first. We would arrive early at the studio and would spend the whole day there working on music. Loco worked on the rest of his songs while Gray introduced me to the next song I would be working on with him. This one would be a little more difficult as it had rapping portions for me to sing. I spent the days going over the lyrics trying to get them down and to pronounce them right. This song was more work than Loco’s but I enjoyed the time I got to spend with Gray who was taking his time to help me. He had his own stuff he had to work on for the song so it was really nice of him and I appreciated it so much.

On the third day Jay took over helping me as Gray had to get to work on his stuff. Jay took me into a smaller room that looked like it was really meant for only two or three people. We both sat at the control panel and he played the beat for me and had me practice my parts.

“Sarah make sure you are breathing properly because you’re sounding winded once you have to speed up.”

We went over that spot again and I tried to keep my breath even and to get in as much air before the beat sped up. I was doing good but then started to stumble over the last couple of words.

“Fuck.”

I said out in frustration and Jay laughed back at me. My hands were in my hair pulling on it and he grabbed them and pulled them away.

“Relax Sarah, this stuff isn’t easy. You know this part now so try to do it with your eyes closed. Just picture a calm setting and make sure you wet your lips, it helps you not stumble so much.”

He started that portion over and I did as he said. I imagined I was back home in my bed listening to the song. I imagined I was alone and just singing along with a random song like the many other times I have done in the past. This time I didn’t stumble over my words nor did I sound out of breath. I opened my eyes and looked at Jay who was smiling back. I didn’t think because had I thought of my actions I wouldn’t have done it. On a happy impulse I threw my arms around Jay’s neck and hugged him.

“I did it!”

“You sure did and it sounded great!”

His cologne filled my senses and as much as I wanted to stay there breathing him in and feeling him against me I pulled away.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. So how about we try and record a bit of it?”

I agreed and stood up to go into the booth. This one was smaller and felt more cramped but I felt a little more confident then I had the first day. I had the part we were going to go over memorized so I did as had before and imagined myself back at home. When the part was over I heard Jay come through my headphones.

“That’s good, now let’s go onto the next part.”

The next part was pretty easy and fun and I couldn’t help but move my body along with the beat. Gray and Chase were very talented at creating these beats and I was pretty excited to hear what this would sound like when it was completed. Around lunch time we decided to go meet back up with Gray and see what he had completed. With both of our parts of the song now together we ran through the raw song and it sounded pretty good. I could tell right away on the parts that I knew Jay would want me to go over again. Instead of splitting up again we stayed as a group and took turns in the booth going back over our parts. Now that we had the song together it was easier to go back over the song and fix parts.

Gray was currently in the booth and I was standing next to Chase who was at the control panel making sure things were going right and Loco came in. He gave a fist bump to Jay who was sitting on the couch listening to Gray sing. I felt him come up behind me and pull me into a hug before rocking side to side making me laugh.

“How is our little Princess doing?”

“Princess?”

Now he really had me laughing.

“Yeah our little princess, I mean you are the youngest here and you look like a little princess with your hair and clothes.”

“I don’t know if I should take that as a complement or not.”

“It’s a complement, there are so many other female artists out there dressed in sexy clothes with their face all done up. It’s nice to see something different.”

Loco had yet to let me go from his back hug and I leaned back into his embrace. I didn’t want to be thought of as a princess and besides I was only a few months younger then him so I wasn’t that much of a baby. Loco eventually let me go and started to dance around to Gray’s rap part and I decided to go sit next to Jay on the couch.

“What’s on your mind Sarah?”

Jay didn’t even look up from me and it kind of annoyed me.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t play that game. Say what’s on your mind.”

He put his phone down and turned towards me giving me his full attention.

“Do I really look like a princess?”

“Don’t most girls like that? Don’t they like being called a princess and don’t they like to go out and find their prince charming?”

“Not this one. Yeah being called princess is nice when it’s just a nickname but not when people actually see you as a child. People back home never called me that or saw me that way because I was a bouncer. Maybe I need to change my look.”

“What concept are you going for? Dirty girl? Playful tease? Party girl? I mean there are plenty of artists out there with that concept already.”

“I don’t know, can’t woman just be a concept?”

He laughed and shook his head.

“If you want to change then I will support it. If you want I can get you in touch with a stylist. Tomorrow you can take the day off and figure out what concept you want.”

I thanked him just as Loco grabbed my hand hauling me off the couch to come dance with him. We were all laughing and enjoying the music just dancing together. I turned around and Loco had his hand on my hip pulling me into him with one of his legs in between mine. We were rolling our bodies to the beat and my part came on and I started to sing along with it.

“Can you handle these curves baby. Hold on tight as these curves rock on your body ooo.”

I was just losing myself in the song and not even caring and Loco lost it and couldn’t hold his composure and pulled away laughing.

“Yaa yaa don’t do that. I take it back ok, I get it you’re a grown girl. I think we need to change some of these lyrics Jay.”

He walked over to Jay and sat next to him while waiving his hand in the air towards me saying he didn’t like the tone of the song.

“What you didn’t mind her lyrics on your song.”

“Yeah but that was different. Watching her dance like that and singing. Man we are going to have a problem on our hands once she gets out there and starts to perform.”

I waived them off and went to stand by Chase.

“Oh my god those two.”

“That’s good Gray come on out. He isn’t wrong Sarah. You do have some amazing moves and a good figure. Add on your voice and you will for sure have a good size male fan base following you around.”

Gray walked out of the room and asked what was going on and I explained that apparently my part was to provocative for Loco’s vision of a pure and innocent me.

“Loco man, she isn’t that innocent. She was a bouncer at a club and do you not remember the night we met her? Do you not remember her outfit? Our little Princess Sarah here has a dark and sexy side to her.”

“Here is an idea how about we all go out tonight for some drinks?”

“Loco didn’t you guys go out last night?”

“Yes we did Sarah but you two ditched us for bed.”

“Well sorry to break it to you but I’m ditching you guys again because I still need to unpack.”

Jay offered me a ride back to the apartment but said he couldn’t stay as he wanted to go out with the guys. Once I was back at the apartment I unpacked my clothes hanging up what need to be hung up and putting other items in the dresser. I made sure to put the black synch bag at the back of my drawer and put more underwear over it to cover it up as best I could. Once I had everything put away I decided to facetime Hua to check in with her. I gave her a quick tour of the apartment I was staying at but she couldn’t talk long as the time difference was horrible. After my call with her I decided to shower and then watch some movies on my laptop.

I had fallen asleep during one dramas and was awoken to a loud bang and cursing. I moved my laptop out of the way and got up to see what was going on. I walked down the hall to the entrance and saw Jay bracing himself on the kitchen counter as he was taking long drinks from a bottle of water.

“You ok Jay?”

“Sarah our little Princess…oh wait you don’t like that. How about sex kitten? Hmm? Is that better then Princess?”

I walked over to Jay and he reeked of booze. Clearly he enjoyed himself out with the guys.

“Call me whatever you want Jay. How about we get you in bed.”

I walked over to him and put his arm over my shoulder so he could use me to stabilize himself as we slowly walked to his room. He tripped over his feet and would bump into the wall and laugh. We finally made it to his room and I let him fall back into his bed and I fought against it but he ended up dragging me down with him and I landed with a huff on top of him. I put both my hands on the side of him and pushed myself up and was caught by his eyes. I always thought his eyes were magical but being this close to him just inches away from his face and I was like a deer caught in the headlights. He had me in a trance and it was only broken when I saw him stick that tongue out and lick his lips. My heart rate sped up and I was sure I was blushing but I pushed myself off him before I did something stupid. I helped Jay take his socks off and helped him with his shirt but left him to handle his pants as I went back to the kitchen for some water. When I made it back to his room he was under the blankets sleeping with his clothes scattered around the floor. I set the water down on his night stand and went around picking up his clothes and made sure to empty his pockets before I tossed the clothes into his dirty hamper. I walked back to the door and turned the lights off before walking back to my room to go to sleep.

That night my normal happy dreams were replaced with visions of Jay between my legs using that tongue to bring me close to my climax while one of his hands was stroking himself and the other was playing with my ass using one of the fingers to slowly put pressure on my little puckered entrance. Just as he slipped the finger inside I felt my walls clamp down and was jolted awake still feeling myself clamp down on nothing.

Jay and his fucking tongue is going to be the death of me.

I thought as I tried to calm my body down. I looked over to my phone and noticed it was still pretty early and I didn’t have to be up as early since I was taking the day off to work with the stylist. I closed my eyes and rolled onto my stomach trying to get some more sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Jay again in between my legs or saw him inches away from my face while he drove his cock inside me. That dream was doing nothing but making me worked up. I rolled back to lay on my back and threw my arms over my eyes. All I wanted to do was sleep but this built up sexual frustration from my dry spell was becoming too much.

I really need to get laid.

I knew it wasn’t going to happen any time soon and figured I mind as well take care of this issue so I can actually get to sleep. I threw my covers off and went to my drawer grabbing out a vibrator and some lube. I put some fresh batteries in before pulling the covers back over me. I pulled my panties down and took my shirt off allowing myself tobe fully naked only covered by my blanket. The door had no lock on it but I figured I would be safe with how early it was. I closed my eyes and imagined Jay back between my legs imaging what it would feel like to actually have his tongue on me. Having him lick me slowly before inserting a finger into me and pumping it in and out. As I imagined that I turned on my vibrator and inserted it inside me. My pace was slow just thinking of Jay using his fingers inside me. I felt myself getting wetter and tried to hold back the moans that were trying to escape my mouth. The vision changed to Jay above me with his cock deep inside me, as imaginary Jay picked up his pace so did I using the vibrator to mimic him. My free hand went to my breast kneading it and pulling on my nipples. I couldn’t stop the moan from escaping my mouth. I could feel my climax approaching and quickened my pace with one more pinch of my nipple pleasure rolled over me like a title wave. I moaned out a little too loudly Jay’s name and thought I heard a noise. I turned off my vibrator and just laid there. I had just masturbated to the thought of my boss and roommate fucking me and while I should feel ashamed I didn’t. I was fully sated for now and exhausted. I left my vibrator on my bed under the covers and fell asleep, I could clean it tomorrow.

Jay

I woke up to my head pounding and rolled over to see a water bottle and some aspirin. I took two aspirins and gulped down the bottle of water. I got up to relieve myself and to stumble into the kitchen for some more water. As I was making my way to the kitchen I thought I heard a low buzzing sound but figured it was this hangover that was trying to take over my body. I grabbed another bottle of water and made my way back to my room. Just as I was passing Sarah’s room I heard a low faint moan come from behind her door. I stopped and listened closely. That buzzing sound was definitely there and I could hear her breathing heavily behind the door. I felt my dick in my boxers start to stir from the sounds. Another moan came and my hand shot down to adjust my dick in my boxers. I knew what she was doing in there and it turned me on, I knew I shouldn’t be listening here but I couldn’t help myself. My hand found its way inside my boxer and turned around to lean against the wall just next to her door. With her breathing and soft moans I imagined what it would be like to be inside her. The way she was dancing earlier that day had me frustrated because I wanted nothing more than to take her in my arms and show her how to really dance seductively. My hand picked up its pace pumping faster.

“Jay”

I heard her moan out my name and I lost it. Like a little school boy I shot my load into my boxers. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. Sarah was in there thinking about me as she pleasured herself. With that knowledge, I walked back to my room and stripped off my boxers and washed my dick and hand off with a wet rag. I didn’t bother putting clean boxers on and just climbed back into bed. Still shocked at what had just happened I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. I laid there for I don’t know how long trying not to think about her. She was amazingly talented and she was gorgeous. I know I had given her the go ahead to change her looks but part of me wanted her to stay the way she was. She was pure and innocent, I didn’t want her to be like the rest of the female artists out there. I opened my eyes and grabbed my phone off the nightstand shooting a quick text to the stylist.

Jay: When you see Sarah tomorrow let her do what she wants but please don’t let her change too much. If she starts to toss out crazy idea try and pull her back. Anything she wants done outside of anything drastic she can do. Stop by the studio on your way to my place and grab my card. I won’t be having Sarah pay for anything.

With the text sent off I felt a little better and rolled onto my stomach closing my eyes. With excitement mixed in with apprehension I was finally able to fall asleep.

Next Chapter

#jay park #aomg #fanfic #jay park scenarios

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theycallme-tunathot · 8 years ago

Text

Road to Ruin [Chapter 7] Jackson

Pairing: Jackson Wang x Reader Rating: Somewhere between R and NC-17 I suppose Synopsis: Jackson has a big night planned to reintroduce the Reader into his friend group. But he gets a couple of unexpected guests, two people he definitely didn’t invite. Author’s Note: This took me forever. I’m still not happy with this chapter. I cut out at least 2k words and I’m still like...nope. But that’s okay. This chapter is shitty, but the next one will make up for it. The next one is where all the real drama starts :D Enjoy guys! ALSO: gif is not mine and I can't find the person who created it (I got this from Pinterest so I'm sorry!)

"Jack, I hope you've got enough money to cover the sushi appetizer I just ordered."

Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ function replaceAll(find, replace, str) { return str.replace(new RegExp(find, 'g'), replace); } function myHandler() { var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; document.body.innerHTML = replaceAll('Y/N', document.getElementById("inputTxt").value, document.body.innerHTML); } // ]]>

Y/N was early, per usual. But that didn't stave off the disappointment I felt when I took in her outfit.

Something cute and comfortable.

I know I said that. It was the last thing I said on the phone before I hung up. I expected something a little nicer than what she was currently donning.

"Y/N, what the fuck are you wearing?"

My best friend tilted her head in confusion, obviously seeing nothing wrong with her outfit. And why would she? This was her usual look. A pair of black running tights with a white Nike check along the left leg, paired with a pastel pink shirt that I never saw her wear before and a pair of black Nike running shoes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked calmly, eyebrows furrowed.

I was just speechless.

"Why am I looking at...?" I trailed off incredulously before I motioned to her outfit. "You're wearing workout clothes. Do you remember what I said before I hung up?"

"You said for me to wear something comfortable."

"And cute!"

"Which is why I wore the pink top!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Is that supposed to make your outfit cute?"

Immediately she shot me a nasty look and threw up a middle finger to show me just how unamused she was with my reaction. But I ignored it, annoyed with her as well.

Hands on my hips, I shook my head, "I said cute and comfortable."

Y/N only shrugged, "I don't know, I thought this was cute."

"No, that's not cute and I even doubt it's comfort level if it already makes me feel uncomfortable—and we're not even in public yet."

She rolled her eyes at me, but I ignored that too as I checked my watch. Five minutes before everyone would meet in this exact location so we could head out. That didn't leave me enough time to drag her back to her room and look for another outfit. If I knew some of the people coming out tonight, they were prompt every time we met up, so it would be no good leaving now.

A long and exasperated sigh filtered out my lungs and I looked over her outfit warily again. "You'll be lucky if they let you in dressed like that," I chided.

"It's not like I'm wearing a bikini without a cover-up."

"That would've been closer to cute than this."

She made a frustrated noise at me before pulling her phone out of her wallet to check the time. The longer I stared at her outfit, the more I felt conflicted. Yes, these running tights framed her thighs perfectly and accentuated the curve of her legs and calves. She looked good in them.

Even though I found this outfit cute on my best friend—in the most endearing way possible—I knew my friends would disagree. No matter how good it made her body look, workout clothes were not the clothes you turned up in for a night out. It seemed everyone but Y/N knew this.

"Has anyone told you you're exhausting?" I joked.

"About as often as you're told."

Before we could argue any further, I saw a tall and lanky figure in the distance. And so it began. A night out with friends. At the sight of him, I could already feel my stomach tighten uncomfortably. My nerves were shaky since I hung up with Y/N earlier. While the logical side of my brain said this was too early for me to try and lump her back into my social group, my heart stubbornly disagreed. Y/N seemed eager to put the event behind her and this is how I was going to help her.

Like I told her on the phone, this is her chance to start over again.

Besides, time was running a little thinner than it was before and if I wanted this fake relationship to catch some steam, we needed this. Just as I said before, this was the test run. If it didn't work tonight, I was doomed to live like a monk and abstain from nearly all female contact until I could prove to my parents that I wasn't wasting all my training in Korea on girls.

"Jackson!"

I blinked a couple of times and watched as Namjoon jogged toward me, smile permanently fixed on his face as he came to a halt just in front of me. Holding his hand out, I went in for our bro-handshake and smiled when he nudged me with his elbow.

"Thanks for the invite tonight," he said. "I don't get much chance to be out after dark these days."

"They work you guys too hard."

"That's what I tell them before they make me run across campus to grab inventory from the shed."

I laughed, shaking my head. I knew Y/N was probably hanging out behind me, waiting for me to introduce her, but something happened when I turned around. She was gone. Confused and slightly worried I looked around to see if she ran off or if she was just hiding out somewhere else.

Nothing.

"Hey, weren't you the one that gave me that Ryan the bear band-aid when I got my flu shot last year?"

At the sound of Y/N's voice I jumped, whipping around to see her standing in front of Namjoon, grinning. And he was grinning back at her.

"Yep, all because you threatened to cry if I didn't."

She laughed and shrugged, "It worked though, so..."

Did she actually know Namjoon? This was really weird. Watching fervently as the two continued talking, mainly about how warm the weather was and how clear the sky looked, Namjoon likely rattling off some major nerd stuff about the Moon, I tried to regain my composure enough to properly introduce them.

Did they really need me though?

That's when something snapped and I coughed loudly, stepping slightly in front of Y/N.

"Joonie, this is my guest tonight. Y/N, she's a fencer like me," I introduced, not bothering to step aside afterward.

No, instead I stood there, blocking half of her from view and looking at Namjoon like I hardly knew him. How could I trust that the two of them weren't hiding other little secrets from me? Did they secretly hang out and not invite me? And why was I blocking Y/N from Namjoon?

Elbowing me hard in my bicep, Y/N pushed me to the side so she could stand beside me. "He knows. I see him from time to time when I go to my nutrition coaching sessions. He also gives a mean flu shot."

"These hands are literal magic at this point," he replied, dimples on full display.

"Hey guys!"

Thankfully, more people showed up. My roommate Woobin, a sabre fencer as well, and his girlfriend Minji an epee fencer.

As soon as Y/N turned around I could tell she was relieved about knowing everyone she would hang out with tonight—at least at the moment. When I looked at her face, my thought was confirmed. Y/N immediately waved and smiled brightly, tapping Namjoon on the bicep.

I was acutely aware of how close they were standing to one another, and I wasn't sure why.

"Minji is a fencer like me," she explained excitedly. "Total badass."

Minji, far taller than any of us were willing to give her credit for with a pixie haircut that fit her face perfectly, shook her head as she and Woobin came to a halt in front of Namjoon and Y/N.

Minutes passed as I kept checking my phone, trying to keep track of how far everyone was from meeting with the main group. We were waiting for two people: JB and Mark. Now, I knew I was making a gamble allowing Mark to come along. Considering how infatuated Y/N is with the guy, it was probably best to leave him out, but it would've been rude in the circumstance. I initially invited Jinyoung over the phone who weakly muttered out how hungover he was and he'd be lucky if he could keep food down by the end of the night. When he rejected it, he mentioned it to someone else in the room, asking if that person wanted to go instead. By the time Jinyoung addressed me, he told me Mark wanted to go.

How was I supposed to say no?

JB was another gamble. We weren't even 24 hours removed from the antics of last night and surely all of those events were fresh in our minds. I knew there was a possibility that Y/N would react negatively to seeing JB, but I knew she wouldn't be upset enough to make a scene in front of the group. I could handle her in private if need be. Besides, out of all my friends, JB was probably the sanest and the one Y/N would identify with the most. They both liked their private time, they trained with intensity and they cared way too much about their friends.

As everyone became more and more anxious, ready to start the night, I got a text message from JB.

Hey, we were stuck in traffic in town so we're already downtown. Text me the location for dinner tonight and we'll meet you there.

Typing out a fast response, I looked up and called out to the four friends in front of me. "Let's go ahead and head out, the rest of the group will meet us there."

Y/N raised her hand, a sarcastic gesture in my direction. She wasn't used to seeing me in a leadership role.

An over exaggerated sigh filled the sizeable gap between us. "Yes?"

"And where is 'there?'"

"A restaurant."

"Which restaurant? You know I can't eat just anywhere because of the high-sodium content--"

I quickly walked to close the gap between me and my best friend, slinging an arm around her shoulder. "Y/N, would it kill you to live a little?"

"I've been eating low amounts of sodium. If I overdo it, I could get sick--"

My index finger found her lips, applying moderate pressure to silence her.

"Shut up, it's a surprise. I even took your whacky nutritional needs into account. Just enjoy the ride," I said before taking my finger away and making a gesture toward the front gate of the facility. "Tally ho my hoes!"

Nearly ten minutes later we were still walking toward the restaurant just outside the boundary of the training facility. So far it was a typical night: a bunch of my friends and I heading to start our night with food before the fun really began.

Everyone seemed willing to put parties aside considering two of the three main event planners in the group, Jinyoung and Bambam, were both hungover and in need of an extremely easy Saturday night. And that was fine by me. Last night was enough party for the whole weekend. Not only did I get all the flirting out of my system last night, but I was rudely reminded of how different Y/N was from everyone I hung out with.

To be fair, this wasn't the first time she came up in conversation with my friends and it wasn't the first time the topic of Y/N held a more critical tone. Jinyoung was notorious for randomly ripping on her. But dealing with Jinyoung was easy. All I had to do was make fun of something he was wearing and the conversation was dropped instantly.

I'm not sure why it took me so long to step in last night. Maybe I just wasn't expecting to have that conversation in the backseat of JB's car. Maybe I was hoping Y/N would've used her sharp tongue to cut Bambam down to size. It seemed whenever I forgot Y/N was a girl and held at a different standard than me or any other guys, something rudely reminded me. I would never understand fully what it's like to be Y/N, but that didn't stop me from feeling bad for her when stuff like this happened.

Just as I turned onto a main road, the center of town coming into view, the shops visible from the hill we were about to walk down, I felt someone bump me from my right. Blinking a couple of times, I looked down to see Y/N smiling at me.

"Everything okay?" she asked, her eyes scanning over my face. I knew she knew the answer.

Despite knowing she knew, I faked a smile and nudged her with my elbow. "Of course, why wouldn't it be?"

"Well Namjoon just made a rude joke about your short legs and you didn't even look up once."

Instantaneously after she stopped speaking, Namjoon's protests could be heard from behind us.

"That was totally you Y/N!"

She gave an innocent look as she blinked up at me. "Jackson, I'm your best friend, why would I say something like that?"

"Yeah, why would you say something like that?"

"Exactly," she beamed back.

"You are so evil," Namjoon muttered under his breath.

I gave Y/N a sweet smile and a wink. "You didn't let me finish. You would say something like that because you love picking on me. It's like when I had acne problems and you played connect-the-dots with a marker."

Namjoon's laugh was so loud that I nearly jumped out of my own skin. Y/N giggled silently before nodding.

"Oh yeah," she said, as if she forgot. "But I only did it because you pushed me into a chair with melted chocolate on it."

"How many times do I have to say I didn't see it?"

"That's not even the point," she argued. "Everyone thought I shit myself."

"But who offered you a fresh towel and even washed the stains out of your clothes?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, but the smile was fond and genuine despite.

The rest of the way Namjoon tried to chat to us about the intricacies of doling out muscle massages to the rhythmic gymnasts who stop by the infirmary. Neither me nor Y/N moved to interrupt him, the two of us in a comfortable silence.

Slowing my footsteps, we made it to a trendy store front. Checking my phone, I sent a quick text to JB, asking if he was already inside. But as soon as the other four noticed where we were standing in front of, they began to get vocal.

"Jackson stop playing around," Woobin said easily, clapping my shoulder gruffly.

"This is a cruel joke," Minji agreed.

"What is this place?"

Everyone gawked at Y/N as she stared up at the signage. I'm sure she could tell this wasn't just any ramen restaurant by the exterior design, but I knew, unlike everyone else, how little she ventured into town when at the facility.

"This is one of the best ramen restaurants outside of Seoul," Namjoon stated, his voice thick with how impressed he was. "You could call it exclusive in a way."

"Exclusive ramen shop?"

"Y/N," I chided. "This isn't a ramen shop, it's a ramen restaurant."

"What's the difference?"

"You pay for the restaurant word," I mused.

"Where are we eating really?" Namjoon asked, looking at me directly. I could almost feel his skepticism from here.

Just as he asked the question, JB responded about grabbing a table near the back. Giving him a large smile and walking to the door, I opened it and held it, gesturing for the group to enter. "Right here. Let's go."

No one moved and my smile quickly dropped. “Come on, get in.”

After much coaxing and almost dragging Y/N into the establishment, we let the host know we already had people waiting for us.

I couldn't lie, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself. When I planned, it was typically street food for dinner and a mildly cheap activity. But not tonight. I actually planned a decent night out and all in a few hours. Not only did I want to make sure Y/N would have a good time while out with my social group, I wanted to make sure Jinyoung and Bam--

"Jack, I hope you've got enough money to cover the sushi appetizer I just ordered."

I immediately froze in surprise but my momentum kept me moving forward. It was enough to accidentally bump the frozen person in front of me.

The familiar black hair, styled with a side part, the color contacts turning his usually brown eyes a pale green and his designer cologne wafting over the entire area. Fucking hell.

"Bambam, I didn't invite you and you still owe me for your meal last time. So I'm not paying for it," I quickly countered, trying to regain my calm, but the longer I stood there, the more panicked I felt.

I glanced down for a split second to see the person I bumped was Y/N. No surprise there.

"It's JB's fault that I'm here in the first place," he blamed, pointing a finger in the direction of my very guilty-looking friend.

Inwardly, the groan had the power to rattle the walls of this restaurant.

Figures. JB's the softest fucker in the world.

"I took Bambam to the pharmacy earlier but we got caught in traffic like I told you and--"

I held my hand up to stop him. It didn't matter how or why he was here at this point. Forcing Bambam to leave right now would be considered rude and it would cause a scene, wouldn't it? Before I made my final decision, I looked at Y/N. After all, whether Bambam stayed or I made him leave depended on her level of comfort. I could tell by the look on her face she was surprised, maybe even shook would be more accurate, but her eyes weren't just focused on the gymnast.

No.

She was looking between Bambam and Mark. So she noticed him too.

Discretely, I nudged her, trying to get her to do anything, react at the very least. And that's when she shook her head and gave a shy smile to the three seated. With swift action, she followed Namjoon, Minji and Woobin to the table.

Bambam immediately rose from his seat, walking over to attempt taking the seat beside Y/N, but she took the end seat, the place right beside Namjoon. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed, seemingly upset over the missed opportunity, but he settled into the seat in between Namjoon and me.

Most of the meal was smooth. Namjoon and Y/N seemed to be comfortable enough to talk through most of it, Mark joining in at one point. Y/N was at her quietest during that time. Bambam went between asking Minji about her handbag and where she shopped for jeans and awkwardly trying to start a conversation with me. It was obvious he wanted to ask something, but it seemed he didn't know how.

When he tried to ask how my Yakisoba bowl was for what felt like the thousandth time, I cut my eyes to him.

"What's up?" I asked easily. I had to maintain my image as the lax guy.

"What do you mean?"

"You just seem kind of off today," I reasoned, setting my chopsticks down as I turned to him slightly.

Bambam gave an uneasy laugh as he folded his hands in his lap. "Oh, it's probably due to my hangover. I'm still feeling last night you know?"

"You had a lot to drink last night."

"Jinyoung should've never brought the whiskey like I asked."

Silence settled between us and just as I was about to ask him a question about his behavior, Bambam completely turned his body so he was facing Namjoon. Lightly tapping on his shoulder, I watched as Namjoon turned to look at Bambam.

"Hey, do you mind if I switch spots with you?" he asked Namjoon.

Thankfully everyone was still in their own conversations on the other side of the table. Namjoon was definitely confused by the request and out of the corner of my peripheral vision I could see the nerves completely take over Y/N's face. She knew what was coming and I'm sure she was fighting the urge to run out of the restaurant at this point.

Unfortunately for Y/N, Namjoon was a nice guy and worse than that, he was agreeable. So of course he switched spots with Bambam so he could sit right beside Y/N. This broke off the two side-conversations happening on the other side of the table.

Now, don't get me wrong, Bambam is a decent guy. Funny, determined, way more dedicated to his craft than people gave him credit for and loyal. These were all things that made us friends in the first place. I'm sure, at this point in Bambam's conscience, he was looking for a way to forgive himself for his behavior, but he couldn't do that. Not without Y/N forgiving him first.

I could tear my eyes away as Bambam smiled at Y/N, waving shyly. "I'm Bambam, we met unofficially last night."

The groan was thick and stuck in the back of my throat as I continued watching. Y/N gave an unsure nod, hoping Bambam wouldn't make a fool of her again.

"Listen...last night was just wild, right?" He asked.

Everyone's attention was on Bambam the second he and Namjoon stood up to switch seats, but now everyone was leaning forward, trying to follow what was happening.

Y/N gave another weak nod.

His long, tanned fingers played with the dangling earring as Bambam gave a nervous laugh. "I should've never said what I did last night. Being drunk isn't an acceptable excuse. I was a real dickhead and I apologize for shaming you like that in the car."

A thick layer of tension laid hung over the table. Everyone was deathly quiet as if making a noise would somehow cause it to drop and maim everyone seated. I was deathly silent as I watched my best friend, hoping she was okay.

Embarrassment was clearly written across her face as she tried to keep her eyes off of Bambam. The way she bit her bottom lip, how she shifted in her seat, the way she avoided everyone's gaze at the table. She was embarrassed and feeling anxious. As her cheeks reddened, I could see it was a level of nerves she wasn't accustomed to.

Most of that embarrassment wasn't stemming from discussing last night's events in such a public setting. No. Surely in other circumstances, Y/N wouldn't have been half as embarrassed as she was now. As my eyes drifted over to the other side of the table, directly across from her was Mark. Mark was looking on intently, obviously listening to the entire conversation like everyone else at the table. And that's when it hit me.

She didn't want Mark to overhear what Bambam was apologizing for.

Everyone watched Y/N, probably assuming she would lash out physically or maybe even verbally attack Bambam, but she simply sighed, looking down before glancing briefly at him.

Just as I began to open mouth, hoping to shift everyone's attention, JB cleared his throat to catch Y/N's attention.

"I want to apologize too," he said somberly. "It's my car and I should've had better control over that situation."

"And to your credit," Bambam added, "you looked incredible last night."

My eyes lingered on Mark a moment, his eyes still lingering on Y/N. Why was he staring at her like that? Why did I suddenly feel the need to puff up and let Mark know I had everything under control?

"It's fine," Y/N mumbled out in response, breathing out a humorless laugh and displaying a smile that didn't quite reach the eyes. "I'm over it."

"Really?" Bambam asked, the disbelief very obvious in his tone.

She shrugged, looking directly at him, "Water under the bridge at this point."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Short replies weren't always a good sign with Y/N.

"Seriously, you can hate me if that helps. I'll even let you hit me—just don't go anywhere near the face," Bambam said, gesturing to his entire face with his palm. He gave an uneasy laugh, obviously not sure how to proceed. It seemed he was waiting for hellfire to consume him when he did this and Y/N's response was throwing him off.

It was throwing him off a lot.

Tight-lipped and showing enough embarrassment for a lifetime, Y/N gave Bambam another smile that failed to reach her eyes as she shrugged.

"Honestly, it's fine. You were drunk right?"

"Yeah, but that's no excu--"

"It isn't, but it's not worth holding it against you."

An awkward silence settled into the table between each of us and I was desparate to get my friend out of the spotlight. I didn't invite her here so my friends could gawk at her. I also didn't invite her here so my guilty friends could apologize—hell, Bambam wasn't even supposed to be here.

Before the silence could ruin the entire mood of the night, I stood up and clapped my hands obnoxiously. The sound caught the entire table's attention as well as a few patron seated nearby.

"Let's get going to the next spot!”

“You mean you planned for more than just paying for dinner?” Namjoon joked, overly pleased with himself when it earned a laugh from the table.

I gave him a sarcastic snort.

"Namjoon, I regret ever laughing at your joke that one time."

Despite the playful insult, Namjoon giggled like a madman before I rolled my eyes and settled my attention back on the table.

"Get your stuff and let's bounce."

"Where are we going though?" JB asked as he slowly rose from his seat.

I couldn't hide the smirk as I turned my eyeline to my extra broody friend. "Don't worry. Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Namjoon gasped obnoxiously beside me. "You paid for us to get a ride there?"

The side eye was real as I looked at my lanky friend. "And they trust you with medical supplies."

Masterlist

#got7snet #kpoptrashtag #noonanet #gotbang #jackson wang #jackson wang fanfic #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #got7 fanfic #got7 fanfiction #kim namjoon #bambam #got7 bambam #mark tuan #got7 mark

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splattershotsundae · 7 years ago

Text

Better Eight Than Never --- Chapter 35: Orvokki Vitrel

Warning: The following chapter details gore.

[Entry 1

This is the first entry since that blasted Harlequin incident that my experiments have bared any fruit. As such, I am starting anew. To begin, after that wretch escaped me, I figured I needed to move my plans to the surface, and placed devices which broadcast the ink transfusion signals (Quite an upgrade from the tubes, if I do say so myself) into ink battle arenas. I tried to pick ones that were near large amounts of water… which sure took some doing.

However, as I waited for results, one by one the machines seemed to fail. It is only now, several shifts later, that the surface news has told of a squidling named ‘Yuri Skwidd’ who had clear ink. I was astounded, not only had the machine worked after all, but the subject had survived! The downside is that these results seem to only be temporary, though it might only end upon being splatted. Due to the report… however, this is outshined by the news that not only can he merge with water, it sounds as though he could merge with squidlings themselves, and take control of their bodies.

The uses of this could be limitless, we won’t just have super soldiers, we could have squidlings fight each other in the war! This technology could save thousands of Octarian lives. After giving these results to the lab’s managers, I have been given permission to access the lab’s full potentials once again. Our first mission is to rebuild the machine while soldiers take squidlings from the surface. Hopefully we shall yield further results.

– Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 2

Construction in lab 32 is going agonizingly slowly. Don’t these workers know how to do their job? Which is work? I can see the sweat dripping from their brow, so how come progress has been at a minimum? The only thing keeping me from screaming at them this moment is Olwen’s hand on my shoulder. In one sense, I’m grateful. In another, I am sure the push these fools need is stern words. No matter! While they’re busy attempting to put together the frame to my dream machine, I am overseeing the more delicate parts, as they seem unable to comprehend my genius. I wrote everything down exactly how it is supposed to be done, and yet… ugh. If I made the calls, we wouldn’t be hiring the gunk I scrape off my boots to do such important work! It’s fine. Until we get in our subjects, I would undeniably still be pacing. I hope that the machine shall be recreated for the next shift.

Unlike MK I, MK II attaches to the ceiling or walls, with the subject positioned in front, with their torso in front of the core. The core will replicate pulses like a spawner, and steadily draw their ink from them and replace it with water. However… subject Harlequin still had her skin, organs, everything. Her skin was soft, but still firm. This Yuri… reports say he was water through every fiber of his being. I am uncertain what this could entail.

– Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 3

I couldn’t sleep, and returned to the lab to find the machine was almost complete, and my first subject has arrived! At long last, I can test to my heart’s content! I shall return after the results of my experiment.

Nothing has gone according to plan. Such is the nature of science, I am left thoroughly disappointed. It seems as though someone in this crew assembled my Ink Transfusion machine improperly, so it short circuited and fried a few wires. Not only that, but the core released a pulse which promptly caused the subject, subject 1, to explode into a burst of water. Through analysis it can be concluded she is deceased.

Subject was female, with green ink, type A positive.

One test in, and already I’m wasting squidlings due to incompetence. I will check over the machine myself, and from this point forward, only I or Olwen shall operate it.

– Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 4

Still unable to sleep, I am quivering with excitement; I have in two more subjects; Subject 2, Male, Orange ink, type B positive, and Subject 3, female, blue, type AB negative.

I have checked the machine at least a dozen times while waiting for Olwen to arrive. She seems concerned for my well being, perhaps she is right. After these experiments I should try harder to rest, a visit to the bathhouse to relax and then back to bed. I asked if she would like to come with me, and of course, she said no. I can’t tell if she thinks I’m joking. Why would I joke? Aside from the fact that we’re furthering technology right in this very room, she is the most important thing in my life.

Regardless, we have now positioned Subject 2 beneath the machine. He’s straining himself against the restraints with all of his might, and seems rather adorable in doing so, though such an action is dealing severe damage to his wrists and ankles. What a fool.

We have turned the machine on, and it is functioning properly, I hear his screams, and I can’t help but smile. That means that it’s working. On more cooperative patients, I’d ask what it felt like, so I could get a better sense of how it was working. He passed out, and a minute later, all that remains is a pool of water on the table. Upon containing the puddle, it began to thrash around and squeak in fear. How adorable. We’ve begun the process with the other squidling, and the results appear positive. Now with two of these things, we must remain cautious. If one of them were to escape and enter one of our brains, the lab might be torn apart.

Subject 3 is much more calm than subject 2, we’ve put her into a larger chamber for analysis, and we shall attempt to revert subject 2 to his previous ink, of which we still have samples of.

Subject 2 has been reverted to orange ink, however he did not survive the process. Either way, this is valuable intel, as his body remained intact. Upon conducting an analysis, the tears in his flesh from pulling against the restraints are all but gone. It is possible that being in this water state has corrected any minor wounds he had. We’ve sent his body to lab 22 for an autopsy, and Subject 3 shall remain under close watch until my return.

– Orvokki vitrel]

[Entry 5

I slept too long, subject 3 died between shifts, but at least we recorded the entire thing. She’s not a puddle like I first thought, she did actually have limbs, and as time went on she began to shrink until she fell apart completely, leaving only a puddle. (For sure this time) It seems that an evaporation process caused her to simply die. I’ve sent what remains of her to undergo analysis, but I suspect that by now she’s merely returned to water.

On the brighter side, they’ve brought me not one, not two, but four new subjects today. I shall continue the naming process as per usual.

Subject 4, Female, Green, A-

Subject 5, Male, Purple, B-

Subject 6, Male, Dark blue, A-

Subject 7, Male, Pink, O+

Now that we have more subjects, I can finally begin implanting. We decided to transfuse subject 7, a process which has left him rather delicate, more so than the others so far. After some deliberation, and much frustration, we managed to secure subject 4 to a table and forced subject 7 into her mind.

I’d never seen an ink reaction like this, even in the thousands of shifts I’ve been working in ink research. Her skin simply dissolved, allowing her flesh to bubble and pop, much like hostile ink. I’ve saved the footage to the journal for reference, and we’ve collected the ink that remained for further testing. We were unable to find subject 7, and so far, subject 4’s ink seems… perfectly normal. This perplexes me, I must learn more.

Under consulting with Olwen, we decided to turn both 5 and 6 into water. 6 is fairly sturdy in form, and we’re able to make out distinct limbs, whereas subject 5… is perfect. His form is pristine and clearly defined, and he appears to have a fierce spirit. We put the both of them into containment tanks, a true feat in the case of subject 5, who not only appeared to have seen what we did earlier and tried to jump at one of our scientists, but was able to temporarily change into humanoid form. I suspected this was possible, but to see it confirmed… He looks nothing like Harlequin, I wonder if she could even enter another’s mind, her humanoid form had skin and rigidity in a way he simply did not. Regardless, any further subjects shall be kept in a separate room, perhaps the room where empty containment tanks are stored could be filled instead of left to collect dust. Olwen presses me to sleep, she’s right, under my mask I feel the dark circles, and my nose runs. We added some water to the containment tanks, which should, theoretically keep them alive. Perhaps we should have only transfused one for the time being… It’s too late now, all I can do is sleep and see what happens.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 6

I can’t see. Never in my life have I felt so… Empty inside.

I can’t stop crying, she’s gone, she’s just gone.

This morning, we went to retrieve subject 5, and he broke out of his container and jumped at Olwen.

He killed her. There was nothing I could do.

I can’t believe that she’s gone. How am I going to keep going without her? She was the one person who meant anything to me, and I’m never going to see her again.

They took her to have an autopsy, and gave me the rest of the shift off, but…

I wish we’d done more together. There was so much we could have done once the surface was ours.

We could have even gone up now, I was tempted to ask her today, if she wanted to go up to the valley and look at the real sky. But she…

I feel like… nothing.]

[Entry 7

They brought me more subjects while I was away, but I hardly care. They can fill out most of the operations themselves…

It’s not that people around me haven’t died before, it’s just… this once, the shift-long grieve doesn’t feel long enough. How can I let go of her in this short of time? They expect me to be focused under these circumstances? How can they keep working while she’s gone? I’m listening to some audio I took of her, a long time ago, over and over and over again, but it’s not enough. How can this, and a few pictures, be all I have left of someone so full of life?

Subject 6 has been put into another subject without my authorization, what could go wrong? Well, the two fell unconscious, and nothing anyone can do will rouse them. For once it feels as though I won’t succeed. Olwen always cared more about me than my projects. She wouldn’t want me to simply give up, would she?… What if she’d been hesitant in the past, but never told me?

They came to me, and told me the results of the autopsy of my dear, sweet, Olwen. Her brains had all been torn to pieces, and then he’d done as much damage to the rest of her body as he could, they couldn’t even find one of her lungs.

It doesn’t feel fair to have to see this. To see what he’s… done to my beloved. The ooze seeping from her body...

I’m taking another shift off, sick leave.

I can’t do this.]

Bato was pulled from the journal by the sound of snapping fingers, and looked down to see Stacey trying to get his attention. “Huh, what?”

"What’s going on?" She asked. "I've been trying to get your attention for like, five minutes."

"Oh..." He'd temporarily forgotten about their current situation. "This mask, it has these... entries? Like, a scientist's journal sort of thing. And they're about these... experiments, that they've been doing on inklings, trying to recreate what happened to Yuri."

Stacey grimaced. "Of course... Well, you seem to have turned the lights on with that thing... it can probably open the door. I... Don't think I'm ready to go anywhere yet though. You doing alright? You look shaky."

Bato nodded a bit, lifting the helmet a bit and wiping his forehead, "Some of these entries… they were dealing with some… dark stuff.” He explained, groping behind him for the table and leaning against it for a second, "... Toda and the twins were lucky... I've only read through seven of these and I can already tell that it could've been so much worse..." He frowned, thinking about this Olwen person… He felt like he was intruding on some very personal things by reading this… but if there was going to be information about where his friends were, he had to.

Stacey winced. "I’d offer to read it.. But at this point, I don't think we should risk you taking that off. If you have low clearance, the fact that you can use that might be a fluke."

"I think you're right." He agreed. "It almost didn't let me in to begin with but..." He shrugged, Hachi must've messed with his mask quite a bit in order to let him use it. He took a deep breath, "Let me know when you're ready to go." He said, as he opened Entry 8.

[Entry 8

I can’t. I can’t keep acting like this. She’d want me to keep going. But how can I? I’m still sick, so I decided to look over the ink samples this shift… as well as my own. There’s always been an irregularity in my ink I haven’t been able to identify… But I think I found something. Something that my ink has in common with the ink of subject…. 5.

The fact that I have anything in common with that hideous muck worm makes me nauseous… If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him myself.

No, I’d kill the person who meant the most to him.

A child, a spouse, a mother, anyone.

Can’t I still do that?

There would be no way I can find them… but if we storm the surface, there’s a chance that my revenge will be carried out by my work.

I’m prepared to take a gamble, and I won’t tell anyone what I’ve done, unless it’s a success.

Not even you, my journal.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 9

I can’t feel my body]

[Entry 10

I’m still alive… I banked on that connection between mine and subject 5’s ink, and I’ve emerged victorious. My body is made of water, which admittedly makes it hard to write in my journal now, but other good things are happening, it feels as though I’m finally being taken seriously. No, I know I’m being taken seriously, there’s talk of a sponsorship from Ophelia, and I may get as many test subjects as I need. They’re going to adapt the facility to my needs, to allow me to travel through the pipes. Walking around like normal causes me to lose pieces of myself on the floors. I’m also being reassigned to lab 26, maybe for the best… the old one is… highly traumatic. That’s the only way I can say it, I don’t want to go back in there, I can still see her dying face.

I don’t recognize my voice, no longer low and smooth it’s… like a gurgle. Some people can’t even understand me, and they’re terrified of me, which in a way I like, but… I feel so alone, without her here…

Beside me…

In a way, I’ve become what killed her.

Did I ever deserve someone like her?

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 11

Subject 6, and the subject she was implanted in, have both finally died, so it was time I took their place, and got in-depth with the minds of these squidlings. I was put into the mind of subject, apparently 11, and attempted to control them. With their singular brain, I had no idea which spots controlled what, so I simply wriggled around, and soon I felt them dying around me, so I jumped out, which was difficult, the rig is set up so it’s hard to escape… but it feels as though that may be why I’m still alive, while subject 11 is now dead. I don’t understand why this is, but it might be something to look into.

Oh no, I forgot to grab an ink sample from subject 11 before they died. Shit. I need to stay focused. I’ve ordered ink sample collections from every single test subject as soon as they enter the facility. I must find more links between these ink samples.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 12

I’m glad that I’ve always kept a journal as an outside mask, because it’s occurred to me now that… should I die, my journal would simply dissolve if it was on my main mask. I’ve saved everything I have of Olwen to it now, just in case. She should never be forgotten.

Onella, my sister, has been hounding me however, Says I’m not acting the same. It’s not like her to care, I don’t understand what this is.

Regardless of her intrusions, I’m currently overseeing the remodeling of my new house inside the laboratory. It feels empty, but I need a more permanent bed than a bucket of water. They are supplying me with an entire pool.

Most of what I did today was compare samples. This irregularity… it seems to be consistent with purple inks, but none are as close to mine in this way as subject 5… Why am I the closest thing to that slime ball? That murderer? That…

If I don’t embrace this, it will eat me alive.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 13

I transfused two purple squids today, and I’m beginning to let these samples be public record so they don’t have to be mixed with my personal thoughts. We did two experiments today, one in which the squid could escape its host, and one where they could not. The one who could escape was the only survivor out of all of them. So if I escape a host, even if they are dying, I can live. Quite valuable information.

We took the survivor, and put them into another mind, of a different color ink, and… different results emerged. I’ve given authorization for them to continue using this squid while I performed my own experiments. I allowed myself to be dropped into the mind of a squidling and, to my surprise, they retaliated against my efforts inside their brain, so I fought back, physically, I made them claw at their skin, and bite off their own tongue, and worst of all---] Bato swallowed and exited that entry, sweat pouring off of his brow. Dear Judd, he couldn’t imagine the horror that poor person must have felt, or what could have been worse. He didn’t have time to read every entry, he decided, just to give himself an excuse so he wouldn’t have to read something like that again, and proceeded to skim the rest.

And he was glad that he did, these entries detailed the gore, more and more graphically each time. She’d begun to have her subjects put into a special room so that way they wouldn’t be bound, but still couldn’t escape. She’d been made an elite due to the amount of damage she could cause to a person being ‘elite level skill’. She was mad that she couldn’t wear the kelp, as it sank right through her.

A few entries later, he paused. This entry was different.

[Entry 19

I have finally assembled a chart, of how the ink of the subjects effects this process.

Transfusion subjects; Purple ink is the best suitable subject for this, and as of now it’s the only subjects I want from the surface, as it contains a protein which can withstand the process. I get the honor of naming it, but I’ve yet to decide… Regardless, other ink colors don’t have this, and as a result, they are unstable, and may have less control or fall apart entirely.

As for being a host, the color seems to be a determining factor as well; the darker the ink color, the more dense it is, and the harder it is for the infiltrator to manipulate. Purple ink seems to have an innate resistance, perhaps because of this same protein. If a host and an infiltrator have ‘rival colors’, the two will begin to dissolve, such as Pink and Green, Orange and Blue… Purple and Green also seem to count as rival colors, but the repercussions might put them on level footing. I don’t understand it.

What I need is more proof, I need the survivors of Yuri, as I have yet to be left with a surviving host.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

He skimmed some more before something else struck his interest, entries from the past few days.

[Entry 22

We found one. Today we finally found one of Yuri’s victims, I will be calling him Y-1, and I’ll be taken up there as soon as possible. However… We are unsure how to best do that… as putting my water body through a kettle would… boil me. I’m not sure how that would effect me, would I even survive? There are plans of having a guard take me up in a containment tank, but even that might be risky. We may have to bring the squid down here. That should be fine.

I’m furious. We were so close, but apparently Orion decided to leave him on the surface so he could do one of his ‘revenge’ things against one of the sea sirens. I have a revenge to fulfill as well, over here! Not to mention not only do I have Onella pestering me to let her in on everything, but Ophelia breathing down my neck and rushing my progress so it’s hard to get anything done. What can’t wait a few more shifts?

… She has a voice though, as sweet as Olwen’s…

I must get close to her, I’ll do whatever it takes to record some sounds from Ophelia She’s the closest I have to my one true love…

…

Perhaps the fact that I sit here and write so much is why she is getting testy. Doesn’t she realize how this is a vent? I’d never say any of this to her, of course, I want to keep my tentacles.

– Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 23

They’re all dying. I’ve been in so many today, I’ve killed a dozen squidlings, a fact which I’ll go into more detail in a moment, but… I’m still no closer, and Orion is ignoring my orders to pick up the fucking squidlings I need. It’s not fair, You’re supposed to respect me you big-headed lump of slime. I need to go to another one, I need to rip them apart! I’m so mad!!

To make everything worse, just because Onella’s in on this project now, she thinks she gets to call the shots! I hate her! I hate everything!

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 24

Orion’s told me that some defect made her way back to the domes, she’s been in contact with Yuri’s hosts. She was able to bring down an ink sample from one of them, thanks to being around his tank.

I’ve examined it.

He’s… He has the same irregularity as mine. As subject 5. As my sister.

I need him. I need him now. There are so many questions that need to be answered.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

[Entry 25

The ‘splatfest’ happened, and not only did we get more purple test subjects than I could ever use, but… finally, we know right were Yuri’s hosts are. They’re here. In this very building, and I’ve just finished dealing with Y-1, and as of now, he’s the first subject I’ve ever left alive. My approach was all wrong. I was… flailing, and wriggling, I never considered fight fire with fire. Attack him with thoughts, my thoughts, his own thoughts. Act like… not like I’m a pilot, but that I was him. It was my body. It felt so… powerful, and soon I shall test with another survivor what I’ve learned… though… these three hosts, know each other, and I have plans for implanting one into another. Perhaps the connection between them will herald different results. I may not have too much more time for experimentation, hearing news that someone I controlled remained alive, we’ve been given a go ahead from Ophelia, and she’ll be sending a very special squidling my way shortly.

In addition… there was a ping on the squid who matched my ink, but he’s… gone. Someone stole him from right under my nose. I was so close, and I need him back! This is personal now, I’ve sent people looking for this thief, and I will stop at nothing to find my specimen. Someone is actively trying to thwart me, I feel…

I’ll find you, squidling.

--Orvokki Vitrel]

Bato found himself gripping the table, shudders running down his back. She… She needed him…. She needed him. There was something weird about his ink? Weird how? He felt light headed, and frightened, and he made himself take a deep breath. Toda was alive… and when this had been written, Jill and Simon had been alive as well… but who could say how well they were doing… What sort of irregularities did his ink have?

Focus. He began to run his hands over his tentacles. If he wasn’t here, where was she? Probably lab… which one? 26? If he had more clearance with her mask, could he see where that was? He pulled up the map, which flickered and then cleared up. He frowned as he looked the map over, noting that the lab was quite a ways away, but he was able to bookmark it so his mask could give him better directions. Turned out it was a GPS as well.

He was shaken from his thoughts by a gurgle of water, and he stiffened, looking over at the pool, and seeing that it was beginning to fill with more water. A thick clump came out of the pipe in a rather un-water-like fashion, and he swallowed. Oh no, it was her. He glanced down at Stacey, realizing for the first time that she’d fallen asleep. She must be exhausted, but… he had to wake her. “Stacey!” He hissed as he knelt down.

She groaned and opened her eyes, squinting.

“Squid!” Bato hissed. “I can carry you in my helmet.” He said, flipping it over like a bucket. As she transformed, he helped her into the helmet, not taking his eyes off the pool as a rippling woman made of water arose. He quickly stood as she approached, free hand hovering near his ink tank. "So, you're Orvokki, I assume?" He asked, carefully edging toward the door.

"What are you doing here, give me back my journal!" She shouted as she began to rush toward him.

"I'm afraid I need it right now," He said, turning toward the door to unlock it, and then laying a mine down in the doorway as he backed through it. As she drew near the bomb went off, sending splatters of purple ink through her body, and caused her to start steaming.

"SECURITY! LOCKDOWN FACILITY!" She screamed as she stumbled backward, falling over and writhing on the ground in pain. As the door slid shut, the alarms began to blare again, and this time, he was sure it was for him.

“Hold on tight! He grunted, clutching the helmet to his chest as he began to sprint down the halls, following the mask’s instructions through the corridors. He heard Stacey squeak as he made a particularly sharp turn, but as long as she stayed in the helmet, he told himself he wouldn’t stop running.

He heard a gunshot, followed by a ping off his armor, and he grimaced and turned a corner before he was prompted in an attempt to break away from his pursuers. He could hear them shouting and running behind him, but all he could think of was getting this mission completed. “Stacey.” He said, using what breath he could spare. “ They're going to experiment with the others, They’re probably in lab 26. If nothing else, you need to make it.”

She squeaked, and then one of her tentacles weakly swatted his arm. “It’s a worst case scenario, you know th-- AAAHHH!” Bato screamed as a bullet flew through his ear, but he didn’t have time to stop now, and pushed himself to run even faster. He wasn’t even sure if it was possible, but he had to. He dropped another ink mine behind him to deter pursuit, but knew there was only so much he could do, lab 26 was in a corner of the facility, the guards would close in, and he’d have no way to leave soon enough.

He heard another ping off his armor, and he felt once again grateful that Hachi had told him to put this breastplate on the right way around. He turned a corner into one final hall, seeing his goal dead ahead of him. Behind him, he heard a massive explosion which made his ears rang, and probably gave him some sort of degree of hearing loss from it’s intensity. He stumbled and staggered, having a hard time staying focused, but he had to make it. This door was his only hope. In a daze, he slumped against it, beating his fist against the metal door. “Open! Open! Open!” He shouted as his legs trembled. The second it took for the door to recognize Orvokki’s mask felt like an eternity, but finally it opened, and he stumbled through the door, and made it shut behind him, thinking a very loud ‘YES’ when it asked if he wanted to refuse access to other octolings. As soon as the door closed, there was an explosion on the other side, which dented it and let a small bit of octoling ink ooze through, but other than that, the door remained seemingly solid. Slumping against the wall, he took a moment to feel his left ear, which now had a notch in it, and hurt like all hell. That had been too close…

He did a sweeping look around the room, seeing rows of counters and machinery, and empty space filled with all sorts of threatening looking tools, and he vaguely remembered a few from when he was skimming the journal, a fact which caused him to shudder. On one wall, there was a valve, which had a small basin under it, and then on the far end of the room was a glass wall which allowed him to see into a test chamber that had an inkling resting on a metal bed, with all sorts of equipment pointed at their head. They sort of looked familiar, but his attention was drawn to an octoling scientist, who was looking at him with an expression of horror. He set the helmet down on one of the counters and grimaced, drawing his inkbrush. “We don’t have to fight, let me into that chamber.”

The scientist swallowed, then grabbed a knife off a table and rushed at Bato, thrusting it in a fairly novice fashion.

Bato flicked his brush, causing the scientist to stumble into a pool of ink, and then swiped at their hands to knock the knife away, causing them to yelp and fall over backward as they tried to escape. He huffed and reached up pick up Stacey, only for everything to go black as Orvokki’s journal was cut from the system. He swore under his breath and hurriedly pulled it off, which was just enough time for the scientist to get up and grab the knife again. He dropped the mask and sidestepped to dodge the scientist’s next swing, then spun his brush around and swiped it at the backs of their knees, sending them sprawling onto their back once again. “You done yet?”

The scientist nodded, covering their face with their tentacles.

Bato nodded, and looked back into the chamber, grimacing as the test subject began to look more and more like Simon. Crud. "Get up," He said sternly, prodding the scientist none too gently with the back end of his brush. “And unhook them from the machines, get them out of there!”

The scientist scrambled to their feet and darted over to a control panel, quickly pressing buttons. “It’s waking….” They murmured.

Bato grimaced, casting a brief glance at the door as someone on the other side began to pound at it. He scooped up Stacey and then followed the Scientist over to the panel, lightly poking them with the brush. “Don’t call my friend an it.”

The scientist yelped. "Heheh, Yes! Of course!… Don’t call the brutish squids its, why would I ever do that?” They asked, tone betraying how frightened they were. They twisted a knob, and a door in the wall opened with a hiss as the pressure equalized.

Bato hesitated just a moment, then ran forward, setting Stacey down so he could shake Simon’s shoulder. “Simon, Simon wake up! Are you alright?”

There was a moment of stillness, then their eyes slowly opened. They took a small shaky breath and whispered to seemingly nobody in particular. "It wasn't just a dream..."

Bato and Toda are Knitter’s characters

Simon, Jill, Hachi, Orvokki and Stacey are Shuckle’s characters.

Splatoon belongs to Nintendo.

Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed, it’s nice to know we’re doing things right.

Shuckle has a patreon if you would like to provide additional support!

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#Better Eight than never #Splatoon #Splatoon OCs #Splatoon fanfiction #Fanfiction #SS Bato #SS Toda #SS Simon #BS Stacey #Octo Orvokki

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rarhuk · 8 years ago

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Are you, damaged?

( The title is a running, joke between our two DK’s... this expanse has been very humorous, from glitches, to some of the mishaps that happen during quest lines. Some are so crazy, that the temptation to make it ic is irresistible. It is a question that seems to be constantly brought up. )

I have not been sated of late, finding most of the tactical advances, in short idiotic. It has infuriated me more then once. Any progress we have met with a step in advance, has been on the course of taking two steps back. I cannot sate what requires to be constantly fed. This frustration is found in all things, not one above another, yet in all ways, at once.

First off, I will begin with the Ebon Blade, following this new king’s directive to begin with is folly, and yet they continue to pursue the requests as if it is an order they cannot deny. Not only that, I can easily tell it is to slough off responsibility upon lesser ranks, if the mission fails. I find this to be beneath the order, and yet they pursue these whims to all ends. My uncle and I used our influences and intelligence to guide a mission towards a better course for all. In that, I am content with the outcome and will not write any more details that may, or may not, at a later time incriminate. Yet, the frustration and agitation at such short sightedness is a constant when dealing with the order. They are desperate.

I was severely damaged.... Although still functioning, it was not to full capacity. To explain... Raji’din and I, were beset upon a cave to infiltrate. Apparently there were creatures that had been corrupted within the chambers. Chamber’s that I might add, that would have been darkened enough that my vision would be capable of seeing without any obstruction in a typical means. Alas, they were riddled with mana laden crystals, that lit the cavern obnoxiously. Not only that, but inhabiting these lit confines were dryad casters. I fucking hate spell casters, when their focus is my person. They are the only ones with the abilities to disorientate me, they are capable of many things that can hinder my progress if they are skilled enough. Raji’din entered the chamber before me, I followed only to be blinded by a searing light that impacted me directly in the face. I could not see, yet I felt the knock back that sent me flying into a crystal stalagmite that impaled my torso. I could not dislodge myself, although there was a great effort to do so, I was skewered. I believe one would consider this an embarrassing situation. Admittedly this injury later, effected what remains of my vanity. I would not be writing this journal if Raji’din had not been present, I would still be impaled on that crystal. It had taken him a great effort to remove me, yet he had done so in a timely manner that I could adjust my presence enough that I would not bleed out. He had aided me in removing the armor that had been embedded in my flesh and then we carried on. I intended on seeing a blood and flesh mender to aid what damage remained as I was faced with a dilemma, being in frost gave me a solidity of form, if I took on blood presence that side that was supported in ice would collapse in on itself. I could not feed, therefore I could not repair it properly.

Which brings me to the priestess... She confuses me as much, as she fascinates me. Others speak of what is the proper way to court and tend to a partner’s needs, such as cooking. I do not cook, not even in life did I cook, that was what the females did. Of course I knew how to toss a slice of meat on the fire, but to actually cook a balanced meal. No, I would not do that. This troll male spoke at length about cooking for females, that they appreciated males that cooked for them. I have never heard of this... Yet, I watched Shayna smile, watched how she looked to the male with approval and appraisal of such words. It infuriated me I did not know this skill to gain such a look from her gaze. I am aware she enjoys cooking for others, but I do not eat, I do not require the same sustenance as the living do. It is not only that, it is the subjects between us that keep arising up for some unseen cause that baffles me.

I took her aside to speak of these things that I have had on my mind, as it is my wish to be fair when it comes to her consideration and needs. I attempted to form words that were clear and concise about these, lack of urges, I feel in her company. I was not finished speaking when she spoke of me wanting space. I had no idea where this notion had sprung. I was merely speaking of...my difficulties, attempting to express my conflict. I had watched a couple for some time interact, by laughing, shoving, smiles, touches. I had asked Shayna if this what she had desired from me. Yet, in return she had spoke of things that I may want to do with her on an interaction level. I do not have the instincts to perform as this. While seeking insight to her wishes, I am confronted with not knowing what she wants from me. It is difficult for me to manage my frustrations at my own short comings when it comes to communicating. I did not wish to depart her company, yet as she continued to speak of making space, of parting ways, of taking breaks of each others company, a pain rose within the recesses and scorched my brain. Even though it was not my intended desire, I had to depart to feed, as my state had become more volatile in nature. This was all prior to my damage, and it set heavily upon my mind as I was impaled on that spear of a cave formation.

As I was impaled, I had thought at great length of these behaviors that Shayna was deserving of, none in which I seem capable of fulfilling. The doubt had settled in, if I, as I am, is actually capable of tending to a living’s needs, or desires. Why did I think a case of goods would prove my worth, when there was much that I lacked? My promises made to her seem distant and vague, compared to what she deserves to find with a male. I thought upon what had prompted me to put her in such a position as in accepting my proposition. I had not expected for her to accept, and now that she has, I do not know what to do with it. I am left confused.... uncertain. As I do not know what I desire from her, any more then she has spoken of what she desires from me. She does not deserve a death knight’s attention that finds himself impaled due to a bombardment of spells from a mere dryad. It was not a mistake, nor position I should have found myself in, in the first place. The consequences of such unskilled folly had claimed me, and mocked me in it’s triumph.

After that moment within the cave, Raji’din and I were called upon another duty to perform, in which we both decided to take a different course then was given. For our actions during the course of the mission we were engulfed by a shroud of holy light, I personally made a haste filled escape before any more damage could claim me, however, Raji’din was not as fortunate as I was. He appeared to be in weakened state, one that neither of us wanted to be made aware. We both decided to seek out repairs before it was noticed.

What I intended had not gone as planned.. It is frustrating, how intentions become as skewered as my form had been. I intended on being repaired and then speaking with Shayna, yet as I hesitated approaching the flesh menders, I was distracted. A certain item was being requested that I would need to retrieve, eventually. I had already made an appointment to speak with the priestess, therefore the repairs would have to once again wait.

I had been discussing events with Shayna when she had a desire to socialize with others. I found this confusing, as I was in the process of leading up to important topics that I had wished to speak on when she had this urge to depart to a more public setting. But of course, I will always put her wishes first. She would eventually grow bored and wish to do something else, and perhaps then I would explain. It happened, and I decided an adventure would be something that would interest her. I took her to an abandon village, and spoke of the possibility that she may wish to reside with the others there, or to use it as a base so to cut down travel between visits. It was then that she noticed my hindrance on the right of my frame where I had been impaled.

I was reluctant to show her... Not for the sake of my vanity, as much as it was for her reaction to what it would mean for her. That realization, I was not truly alive, that such injuries would have another in her state of being, dead. I did not want to shatter such illusions. A lie it is as we walk amongst the living, when we converse, that when we seek to be beyond what was our intended purpose and design. These lies, we tell ourselves and others, makes the suffering tolerable. It is that reveal, that certainty, that all is not as it seems, that it can never be what one truly wants that leaves a lingering disturbance in the senses. I did not want to show her the damage. I did not want to break the illusion that I was a living being, I did not wish to draw her more into what was dark. Yet, perhaps I did. Why else would I have waited so long to be repaired? Why did I wait to be in her presence to display that I was being hindered? I question my own motives.

She is not predominantly of the shadows in nature, yet in my company she takes to it, to spare me the discomfort, and to spare herself it as well. I have been told, by her own words that doing such causes a risk of insanity. This rises the questions as to why would she tread such paths? I value her mind, I value her light even though it is unbearable for me to touch, or to linger in. These things I value she would risk to be near me, to repair, to be... closer, to what I am... In that I question, my agenda... I was not designed for love, or compassion, I was designed for more sinister of purposes. That make up of what I am, is it not gearing, or delighting that she would sacrifice her light to be closer to me? Is it not beckoning that darkness to consume the light? Perhaps, my fascination with an innocent intent, was not just a curiosity but something more then I thought it to be. I began to question it more after she helped me repair with her shadow weaving and vials of blood. She slept besides me while I regained.

It became more apparent to me, after I took her along with me to feed. She watched, and she shied, from the screams of the victim that I delighted in. Her uncomfortable distraught display pleased me, added flavor to my meal. I intentionally subjugated a healer, a mender, a light to the people, the darkness in which I enjoy in. Then when I was finished, I continued to torment her with why I did not mind her presence while I dined. I spoke of how I enjoy watching others eat, even though I could not taste the flavor of the meal it brought up fond memories of the life time in which I once had. We spoke of our favored meals, and one being her’s was chocolate. I never in life encountered this delicacy, yet she enjoys it. I used it as an example as to when I feed, if all she had to eat was chocolate the rest of her days, done exactly the same way, every time she ate it. Would she not seek out new ingredients to flavor the meal, to alter the consistency, the way it rolled on the tongue, to add some variants to it? She had answered that she would... I then explained, that I do not torment my victims for days on end, I would not do such a thing, a few mere moments to add flavor to my meal. Even though we spoke at great length about my feeding, what I typically did, and that I would not ask her to come with me if she was uncomfortable. I realized how much I was enjoying reactions, and how much I enjoyed her watching me and being present, it did not matter the emotion that had been displayed as all had added flavor to it. It was the principle, a healer subjugated to watch such an atrocity as a slow death... How could that be tolerated, forgiven? Was there even such a apology out there that could redeem a scene as that? What, is my purpose in pursuing her....

Am I chasing some ideal, and ideal of an individual to be mated to from some life time ago that I cannot recapture? Perhaps I seek a truth, can one such as I truly care and have emotions that can stand up besides a living being’s emotions and be indiscernible...It is that she is unattainable, above my status and regard being a being drawn towards the light, and I crafted from lich fire merely wishes to snuff it out? I do not know my true reasoning at this point and time... I am aware that on the surface I do not wish to harm her, I would not intentionally do so, yet, the underlying unseen agenda is what concerns me.

I could not comfort her appropriately when she spoke of her past... Instead, of combating the tears she cried with words of affection and comfort, I remained silent while she spoke. My mind was only on the males that had harmed, and my own fantasy thoughts of systematically committing genocide, because if I killed them all I would also kill the ones that ever harmed her. I would not perform such acts, but I was reveling in the mental imagery of such a battle of bloodshed and gore, while she wept. To my credit, I did offer my arm, and a placement to draw close for comfort as I recall from my past, and have seen others do currently. However, being in plate armor I do doubt that leaning against me was... comforting.

Later, I began to question these confusions, these misunderstandings between us as well as her emotional state. Perhaps she has lingered too much in the shadow, that it is effecting her stability in emotions. I will need to question her more fully to gain answers, yet I am concerned it will only be disconcerting for her, for me to do so. I will find a way to speak to her on these topics which I have been thinking at a later date, I will attempt to find an appropriate venue in which to bring these subjects up. Perhaps my frustrations will subside if things are clarified on a rational level.

#Ra'rhuk's journal

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just-searchiing-blog · 7 years ago

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What a fucking trip

I forgot that this page existed.

It’s been a wild couple of years. Fuck me.

Mum’s build a fucking house. Like a brand new house and she’s killing it. Currently over in America for a few weeks, filling her cup with all the goodness and joy life has to over. Never been so proud of someone in my life.

Last year was fucking crazy for everyone. We were surrounded by so much death. Firstly, Granddad passed away. He was the absolute cornerstone of the family and really, Mum’s ultimate sounding board and confidant, especially since Grandma passed, so it’s been really rough on Mum - even though she doesn’t show it. But, I mean. It must be so hard losing both parents. There was a decent gap between Granddad and Grandma, about seven years. Granddad was always lost after Grandma passed, but he was still the head of the family. Christmas last year was so weird without him being there, sitting at the head of the table, but I guess that’s life now.

The process was horrific though, he was diagnosed with cancer and although it was relatively short, the last few months were really bad.

Once he was in respite care it really hit home. I don’t want to go into details of his passing, but rather reflect on how hilarious it was, because he would appreciate that. All the cousins camped out for the last few days and in the end, sort of run crazy in the building. There was one night where me and three of my younger cousins were the last ones standing and we were huddled around the little shitty coffee making area and we all just started laughing, completely jacked on coffee. We were just making the darkest possible jokes and we all just lost control. I mean, picture it in your head. We are LITERALLY surrounded by dying people, its 3am in the morning and we can’t stop laughing.

The funeral was sad and the weeks that followed were sad. But we all stuck together, just like Granddad and Grandma taught us... and in a way, I guess that’s what makes the current situation so sad. Mum’s sort of holding the family together right now because her other siblings don’t really want to talk to each other, in fact they hate each other - both have decent reasons and both are as childish as each other.

When Granddad passed I remember Mum saying that it was the beginning of the end, because he was the thing that held everyone together.. I told her not to be stupid, but as usual, it turns out that she was right, and that makes me so sad.

Family functions always made me so happy - especially Christmas, I really hope it all doesn’t change but it seems like it will and that makes me so, terribly sad.

Some of my best memories are from hanging with the whole family. From growing up and playing minions in the backyard and coming up with other random games, to now all being old enough to drink and play beer pong. It will honestly crush me if things change.

Aside from Granddad, we also lost Fran, Inge and George all in the space of about 5 months. It was just so painful to watch people I cared about go through so much pain, especially when there was nothing that I could do to fix it. We all just had to go through it and be there for each other on the other side. I know death is part of life, but I’m fucking over it. I’m over funerals. I’m over losing people that I care about and I’m extremely over watching people I love and care about in pain. It just fucking sucks.

The oldest person in my family is now only something like 57. No Grandparents left. Life is crazy.

Through everything over the last few years, I can definitely say that I’ve not only grown but also grown to understand myself better.

I’ve worked in my producer role now for nearly three years and have finally given my notice.

I loved working there and the work was easy and enjoyable, but I absolutely stagnated, I lost enjoyment and cared less. This has been a long time coming and is probably at least six months overdue, but I’m finally doing it and it feels right.

I’ve already started studying and I’m really enjoying it. (Essay writing can get properly fucked though)

My goal posts have shifted and thats alright.

I know that I don’t want to be a producer long term, but It’s taught me so much about myself over the last three years that I certainly can’t look back on the experience in regret, but it’s absolutely time to do something else.

I think I still want to produce my own content down the track in some degree, but I think I’ve matured a bit and no longer want to be the centre of attention (thank god) and I actually thrive on the idea of building and cultivating the skills that will eventually enable me to take the reigns of an organisation or sporting club and push it in the right direction. I also want to tell not only athlete stories but everyday stories. I think it’s important and it’s something that I get a lot out of. I love understanding and learning how people tick. What motivates them and what drives them.

I’m actually looking forward to the next few years. I’m looking forward to working a dead end/boring job and not driving three hours a day. I’m looking forward to being bored and letting my creativity flow. It’s crazy that the best ideas come from just being bored out of your brains, but it’s so true. The last few years have just been spent working pretty much 6 days a week and driving ALOT. Many good things have come out of it, but also many things have been lost because of it.

I know I’m doing the right thing, but it still makes me nervous. I’m going to grow so much from leaving and learning more things & going down different paths. But change is always scary, for everyone. But if you don’t change, you stay the same, you get comfortable and you don’t grow. I’m 26. Not growing anymore for 50+ years is more terrifying than leaving this job.

Nothing has really changed in my mindset, if anything it’s grown to be more resolute. YOU know what you need and what you want to do. YOU know what is good for you and YOU know what you need to do to grow. YOU just have to have the balls to follow it, no matter what that means or no matter what it means you have to leave behind. So many people get comfortable in a place in life and settle. They forget to be risk takers, they forget to be daydreamers. They get that comfy 9-5, they get the pay cheque and the pay off the mortgage. They stop living, they stop chasing, they stop dreaming.

I don’t want that, I can’t allow that. There is so much left for me to do. I HAVE SEEN IT. I just have to keep pushing. Keep learning, keep chasing and I’ll eventually be fulfilled.

The Universe WANTS you to succeed. YOU have a path and it’s a path that only YOU can follow. You have to be stubborn enough to chase it.

If I sat back and looked at it holistically, I would say that I have had ore failures thus far than I have had successes. I still haven’t travelled. I don’t own a house, I don’t have a career that I want to chase for the next 25 years. But I’m okay with it. And I wouldn’t change my path for one that is deemed more successful If I had the chance.

Because my path has taught me many lessons. About myself and about life, and the fact that I’m awake to these lessons and eager to learn from them, mean that I will be more successful in the future than I would’ve been if I took the easy path and settled into a position. At the Real Estate place, or the producer role, or If I studied straight out of school. Whatever the other options were.

I know that family is everything. I know that money corrupts and creates greed. I know that I’d rather have a smaller inner circle than a large general circle. I know that I’d rather be 110% myself than whatever society deems to be correct. I would rather laugh at things that society says I shouldn’t.

I know that the opinions of the majority don’t matter to me if the people on the inner circle give me the thumbs up.

I know that it’s more important to have respect for yourself than have a pay cheque.

I know that it’s not only important to follow your dreams but that you CAN achieve ANYTHING you want if you go after it.

I know that the universe will give if YOU give.

I know that I can solve stress with meditation or exercises and I’ll instantly feel better.

I know that cleaning your room when you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed can make you feel better and clearer than any medication can.

I know that surrounding yourself with GOOD people can fix any life issue.

I know that Fortnite wins are hard to come by

And I know that I am currently half crying and half smiling.

It’s 2:30am. I’m properly drunk. And Reflection is good for the soul.

Writing goals is more powerful than anything else you will do. if you write a list of things down that you HAVE to do tomorrow and you cross them off as you do them, the moment you cross off the last one, you will feel INCREDIBLE.

You always have to remind yourself that small progress is progress and daily progress leads to big progress and big progress leads to growth and growth leads to evolution. Just keep going. Write down FIVE things each day that you HAVE to achieve and you will start building momentum and before you know it, that momentum will turn into a snowball and you will become an unstoppable force.

As Tim Ferris says... Start each day by making your bed, use it as one of your daily goals. “Today I will make my bed before I leave the house”

It will take less than 45 seconds but it will make the WORLD of difference because it helps to build MOMENTUM.

Just DECIDE what you want to do and set yourself GOALS to achieve it. Daily goals, monthly goals, yearly goals until you’ve achieved it.

It’s not rocket science. Just DECIDE, ACT and be FUCKING CONSISTENT.

BELIEVE in the path and you’ll make it. Nothing will make you feel better within yourself, than achieving the little shitty goals that no one knows about.

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