#jojo is sorta your thing so I figured you would be the best to ask
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arr-jim-lad · 4 years ago
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What do you think Kakyoin's fashion choices look like aside from his uniform? I mean since uniform is a kind of standardized clothes, it doesn't give too much info about that, except for color and silhouette. I think you are the best person to go to with such question!
This is an interesting but somewhat tricky question that I’ll try to reply to the best of my abilities because that is what Kakyoin deserves
The reason the question can be a bit tricky to answer is because the fashion choices in Jojo can sometimes be very unpredictable when compared to the character’s personality, such as Fugo for example. If you were asked what kind of clothes an incredibly intelligent guy with anger issues would wear, ‘swiss cheese and a thong’ probably wouldn’t be the first thing to come to your mind lmao
However luckily, Part 3 still had a fairly down to earth look compared to later parts, with none of the characters in the main team really wearing absurdly strange clothes. Based on that, I think Kakyoin’s casual outfits would likely fall into the realm of very normal-looking, much like Joseph’s.
I drew a few outfits for him, the colours of which are based on his anime palette, treating it as his ‘canon’ one.
Okay, to start this off, I drew Kakyoin in his uniform + unbuttoned uniform
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Since he sticks so strictly to his uniform, I think it’s pretty much undeniable that he wears a dress shirt underneath, but I decided to make it a bit more interesting by adding a cherry picture on his pocket, calling back to his younger self in the anime flashback.
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I also want to point out his purple belt, which is based on his SAS figure. Medicos got Araki’s input on all their figure colours, and the anime-coloured Kakyoin figure has a purple belt, meaning that we can make an assumption that anime Kakyoin does as well. I took this into account with my outfit designs.
Okay so, Kakyoin wears his uniform completely buttoned up, all the way up to the neck, and he makes it abundantly clear that he feels comfortable like this. That makes me assume he’d prefer form-fitting and modest clothes, nothing showy. I also took into account that he wore a scarf in his first appearance.
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These are some of my ideas for what a part 3 Kakyoin could’ve worn casually. I know it doesn’t look very “JoJo” but again.. Part 3 really didn’t when you compare it to later parts, and I mostly looked to Joseph for inspiration.
I brought back the scarf for one of these, and I decided to use his preference for simple jewellery to add a necklace that matches his earrings.
I went for purple in the middle outfit so that it wouldn’t be all green, and with the third one, I decided to give him some sorta jacket to match his original silhouette better.
Basically, I really don’t think Kakyoin’s casual fashion choices would be very interesting in Part 3. He’d probably stick to simple and modest, matching his uniform look in spirit.
I wasn’t pleased with just this though. If I’m designing JoJo fashion then I want to design JOJO fashion, not... that. So I decided to have a go at what Kakyoin might’ve worn in Part 4, which had distinctly more style than Part 3.
I was mostly looking to Jotaro to help me with ideas here, since he very nicely shows how his Part 3 design grew into the Part 4 one.
One thing that’s important to note is that his silhouette practically stayed the same. He doesn’t wear a gakuran anymore, but he still wears a coat, and a very similar hat. I took that into account when designing a Part 4 look for Kakyoin, meaning that he also needed to wear a coat to help him keep his Part 3 silhouette.
One big difference I noticed in Jotaro’s design, as well as many Part 4 designs compared to Part 3, was that a lot of the characters wear very cozy, baggy pants. I didn’t go quite as far with Kakyoin because I don’t think it would suit him, but I did make his pants wider in the first two examples.
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Part 4 was also big on pins, so I added a gem-shaped pin on his lapel, and a cherry one on the third outfit. If Araki designed a Part 4 Kakyoin look he’d probably give him something less predictable (think of Jotaro’s hearts and dolphins), but well, we sadly can’t make many assumptions about Part 4 Kakyoin’s interests, and I designed these in a rush so I didn’t really put as much thought into symbolism.
I kept the cozy turtleneck from the first design of his casual Part 3 look, because I think it really suits him, with his original uniform going up to his neck and all. He has a sweater vest on the first outfit, and I once again brought back the scarf on the second one.
After I did the first design, I realized that he’d likely wear his coats closed, seeing as, again, he felt comfortable in a completely buttoned-up uniform. Jotaro kept his open jacket, so it makes sense for Kakyoin to keep his closed.
I was gonna stop here, but then I took a look at Jotaro’s Part 4 outfits again and I realized I completely missed one huge element; the colour.
Jotaro went from black to white, making a massive shift in his palette.
Every time I see anyone design Part 4+ looks for Kakyoin, they always default to green, but looking at other reoccurring characters in the story, that doesn’t feel authentic to JoJo design. Basically: I don’t think Kakyoin would wear green if he appeared in the Part 4 anime.
Well, the opposite of green is red, but Kakyoin already has red hair, and too much red is... honestly probably something Araki could do and pull it off well, but I kept thinking about that singe drop of barely notable purple on Kakyoin’s SAS figure, so I decided to just go full purple, and I made this palette shift;
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I think these colours would fit pretty nicely into the Part 4 cast. I kept plenty of green in the design due to green emeralds being Kind Of A Thing with Kakyoin, but I tried to push it in the background of purple, his new main colour.
Personally, the green variety third outfit is my favourite, but I think I’m clinging to my biases of Kakyoin = green. I could probably adjust the purple third outfit’s palette to make it just as nice, but again, I kinda rushed these so I didn’t really bring my A-game into the designs.
I’ve been planning to design Kakyoin’s Part 4 & 6 looks eventually, so I’ll probably be using these concepts as groundwork for when I finally do that!
That’s pretty much all I have to say on this topic for now, I hope I gave a satisfactory answer to your question, and thank you for asking it!! <:
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lakesandquarries · 5 years ago
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After the Storm - Chapter Eight
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He forgets, sometimes. 
Or maybe that’s the wrong word. Maybe it’s more like remembering. He looks at Maddie, tucking him into bed with gentle hands, and thinks about a set of wings doing the same. Tom reminds him not to run in the house and he remembers other rules, other homes, other consequences. 
He remembers her. He forgets that they’re different. 
He doesn’t even notice the first time he calls Maddie mom, too busy telling her about how awesome seeing Jojo was and all the fun stuff he wants to do with her. He only realizes when he sees Maddie’s expression change, and he asks “What?” and she just smiles at him and he thinks, oh. 
“I didn’t mean to say that!” he says frantically. “I just meant - uh -“
“You can call me mom if you want to,” Maddie says, gentle as ever. Sonic looks at her, or he tries to, because all he can see is arrows and blood and fading gold dust. 
“I mean - well - I guess, if you - If I - Uh -“
“Sonic?”
“I’ll be right back,” he says. “I promise. I’m just gonna -“
“Sonic,” she repeats, less a question this time and more a plea, but by the time her voice hits him he’s already out the door. 
��
The first night had been the hardest. 
He’d been cold, and scared, and hungry, and most of all he’d been alone. For the first time he hadn’t wanted to run. Oh, he’d tried, but within two seconds he was back, waiting to see if maybe another ring portal would open. He hadn’t slept that night, terrified of what he might miss. 
Once, before everything, he’d asked her: “Are you my mom?”
And Longclaw had laughed and said, “If you want me to be.”
He’d never called her mom. Out loud, it was always Longclaw. But in his head - in his heart - she was his parent. She’d been there for his first words, first steps, first run. But when he tried to say it the words lodged in his throat and instead he’d just made jokes, snarked you’re not my real mom and called her old and told her to stop fussing. 
And then he’d seen other kids on the island with flowers. Big bouquets, carefully designed, big enough to send the smaller kids toppling. He couldn’t get her one of those, but there was a field he knew of, full of sunflowers just starting to bloom. 
He’d practiced saying it as he searched for the perfect flower. “This is for you, mom,” he’d whispered to himself, over and over. 
It didn’t matter, in the end. He could have practiced for hours and it wouldn’t have mattered, because nothing could have prepared him for the sheer panic he’d felt in the moment. It wasn’t until later, sitting in the grass and clinging to the remains of the sunflower, that he realized he’d lost his chance. 
It’s a little colder out than he expected, but that’s fine. The clearing isn’t far - at least, not for him. He just needs to sit for a little. Maddie and Tom are great and all but, well, sometimes he wants to be alone. 
“Is that bad?” he asks himself, pacing back and forth. 
“Plenty of people like being alone,” he tells himself, leaning against a tree. The other him sighs. 
“Yeah, but I don’t actually like it! Maybe I’m just...broken.” He sits down in the grass, the spot where he’d first landed. 
Not for long, though. He’s back up and pacing again after a few seconds. “That’s not the point. The point is -“
He’s not actually sure there is a point. 
“The point is that this is stupid,” he huffs, kicking a rock as hard as he can to watch it bounce off a tree. “Maddie said it’s okay if I call her mom! So it’s fine!”
“But what about Longclaw?”
“What about Longclaw? She left! She sent me to a completely different universe, she left me alone -“
“No, that’s not fair, it’s not like she wanted to -“
“But she could have prepared before! If being on that planet was so dangerous, we could’ve left earlier!”
He’s going in circles, mentally and literally. The grass underneath him has been trampled, revealing the dirt, and he’s started wearing a path. 
“Maddie’s not Longclaw,” he reminds himself. “Neither is Tom.”
Except that doesn’t make things any better, does it? He collapses heavily into the center of the circle he’s made. 
“I don’t wanna replace you,” he says, digging his hands into the grass. “But I want them to be my parents too.”
What was it Tom and Maddie had said? They want to help. They want him to talk to them. 
He’s not alone. 
He gets up, and heads home. 
“He said he was going to be back,” Maddie reminds him, as Tom gets up again to nervously pace the porch.
“I know,” he says, leaning his head against a post. “That’s why I’m not running after him.” He sighs, rubbing his face with his hand. “Do you think we’re doing this right?”
“We’re doing the best we can,” Maddie says. “That’s all we can do.”
“I just wish he’d talk to us.”
“He told us he was going to come back. That’s  progress. Next we can work on telling us when he needs to leave, and then we can quiz him about his childhood. Now c’mon, sit down.”
He does, dropping himself on the bench next to Maddie. She loops her arm around his, leaning her head on his shoulder. “We knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I - hang on I think I see him.”
Tom squints, and sure enough, there’s a little blue figure trudging up to the house. Maddie gently places her hand on his arm, the only thing that stops him from running over immediately. 
“Go easy on him,” she whispers. 
Sonic pauses at the bottom of the stairs, wringing his hands together and periodically glancing at Tom and Maddie only to immediately look away. 
Someone has to break the awkward silence, and it might as well be Tom. 
“Hey kid,” he says. 
“I’m sorry,” Sonic replies, gaze darting all over. “I know I shouldn’t have run off, I just -“
“It's okay if you need time to yourself,” Maddie cuts in. “Just make sure to let us know, okay? I appreciate that you said you’d be back, it’s a good step, but try to let us know when you need space.” She scoots over on the little bench, making room for Sonic between her and Tom. 
“Sorry,” he says again, walking (not running) up the stairs and squeezing into the space. 
“It’s just for future reference,” Tom says. “You feeling any better?”
“Sorta,” Sonic says. Tom is about to say something, but he continues talking. Well. More like monologuing. 
“I kinda wanna call you guys mom and dad but I’m also really scared about it and the last time I wanted to call someone mom she died before I ever got to say it and I feel bad about that and I miss her a lot and also I think I’m kinda mad at her but then I also feel bad about that and I don’t know how to deal with all this?”
There’s a moment of silence, the kind that often follows when Sonic talks. Maddie and Tom aren’t as fast as he is, after all. It takes Tom a second to process Sonic’s words, and then another moment to remember that night in the motel, Sonic talking to himself as he fell asleep. 
“Someone else took care of you before you ended up on earth,” Tom says. “Were they…” He’d wanted to call them mom. “Was she named Longclaw by any chance?”
Sonic stiffens, looking up at Tom with wide eyes. “You mentioned the name that night at the motel,” he says. 
“I did?”
“I didn’t say anything at the time because I didn’t think you meant me to hear. Plus, we were a little busy at that moment. But yeah, you said something along the lines of “maybe Longclaw was wrong”. Was she the one who sent you to earth?”
“It was my fault,” Sonic says, looking down at his feet. “I wasn’t careful enough. I wanted to get her a flower and I guess they must have followed me, because they showed up at our house and attacked. Longclaw….she got hurt. Bad. So she sent me to earth and she told me to stay hidden and never stop running and that’s what I did.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Maddie says immediately. 
Sonic shakes his head. “She always told me to be careful. Stay hidden. But I wasn’t, and...She got hurt. She probably -“ He stops himself, swallowing. “If she was still alive, she would’ve come looking for me.”
“Still not your fault,” Tom says. “The people who attacked her made a choice to do that. You didn’t do anything.”
“How old were you, when this happened?” Maddie aske softly. Sonic holds out his fingers, trying to do the math. 
“Three,” he says, finally. “I think.”
Tom’s glad Sonic is focused on his finger math, because the look Maddie shoots him is one of utter heartbreak. “Three??” she mouths, and Tom suddenly remembers how Sonic had said he was thirteen when they were at Rachels. That’s a decade of solitude, of staring in windows and foraging for food and living in a cave. It’s no wonder he acts the way he does. 
Sonic’s back to staring as his feet. They don’t quite reach the ground, and he’s swinging them back and forth - his version of sitting still. He seems to take the silence as a challenge to fill it. “I asked her if I could call her mom one time but every time I was gonna I got scared. And then…”
And then she’d died. 
“I’m sure she knew how you felt,” Maddie says, voice soft. 
“I miss her,” Sonic says, uncharacteristically quiet. “She always knew what to do. She knew everything. If I’d just listened to her, maybe -“ he cuts himself off before Tom can, about to reassure him it’s not his fault. “I just wanted to give her a flower.” His voice cracks on the last word, breaking into a sob. Tom moves his arm to offer a hug and Sonic collapses against him.
“Thank you for telling us,” Tom says, trying to be as soft as Maddie is. He glances up at her, a little panicked, but she just smiles fondly at him.
“It happened so long ago though,” Sonic mumbles, leaning back and wiping at his eyes. “Why does it suddenly hurt more?”
“Sometimes emotions can be delayed. You think you’re fine in the moment, but then later it hits you,” Maddie says. “I’ve seen it happen at work. Someone’s putting a pet to sleep, and as it’s happening they’re fine, and then ten minutes later in the waiting room they start crying. It’s okay.”
“It sucks,” Sonic says, leaning against Tom again. He lets his arm drop, holding Sonic in a gentle hug. 
“Yeah,” Tom agrees. “But sometimes you just have to let yourself be sad.”
For a brief second, Sonic is silent. Then his voice comes again, very quiet. “Is it okay if I call you guys mom and dad?”
“Of course,” Maddie says, at the same time that Tom says, “Absolutely.”
“But Longclaw’s my mom too,” he adds.
“And that's okay too. Just because you’ve got a new family doesn’t mean you have to forget about your old one. And if you ever want to talk to us about Longclaw, just let us know.”
“She liked sunflowers,” he says, nuzzling into Tom’s arms. “And mice. Also she was really big! And she could fly, and sometimes she’d let me ride on her back, and it was really cool.”
Tom decides he’s not gonna ask for further explanation on the mice. “That does sound pretty cool,” he agrees. 
Sonic nods, the fur on his muzzle tickling Tom’s arm. “I think she would’ve liked you,” he says. And then, quieter, he adds: “Thanks, dad.”
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smarmaladey · 4 years ago
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The Bad Touch - (3/3)
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Chapter 3 - “the discovery channel”
Rating: 🇪
Fandom: Jojo’s Bizzare Adventure
Relationships:  🐞♡🚺
Words: 12479 (yikes i know)
Ao3 Link  Prev.
(For content warnings and additional notes, click read more)
Our “lovely” heroine finally reaches the truth. 
cw: rape/non-con elements, AU (probably), ooc (probably), break-ins(?), unintentional voyeurism, “sci-fi violence”, mind break (sorta), mildly rough sex, blood, yknow the uje
enjoy ♡
♡🐞♡ 
Tuesday.
12:00 AM.
The third incident. 
♡🐞♡
How?
How did it all go wrong?
It all sounded so slick in your head. It sounded foolproof. It sounded...smart. 
Your scheme, to you, felt like the best idea you had ever had in your life--at least in terms of your own, organic plans. But, as it always seemed to turn out, being a "thinker" just really wasn't your style.
What a shame it was. Really, to think that your egoism had already conjured up a hypothetical scenario about you solving the mystery of your boss’s behavior, therefore sparing countless others from the humiliation you went through, therefore gaining some kind of respect from people you barely knew. 
To your defense, anyone would’ve thought that it was flawless.
...Alright, in retrospect, maybe it wasn’t so great. 
The idea was to exploit a brand-new, experimental technique you’d been working on to make yourself utterly invisible, and to stow yourself away in Giorno’s bedroom until you got your answers. What you did was demonstrate Black Hole Sun on the surface of your skin, in such a precise way that the only light absorbed would be “visible light”, therefore making you colorless, i.e, invisible to the human eye. 
On paper, that was where it ended. Because to you, and your egoism, it felt untouchable. You had so much confidence, in fact, that you just up and did it! Right away! No further thoughts, no Plan Bs, just as soon as you got out of that sunroom you maneuvered your way to the second floor and swung open a random window.
To your luck, said window was just the one you were looking for. Upon stepping onto the plush carpet of your boss’s bedroom, shivers traveled down your legs at the temperature. It wasn’t as cold as the office, per say, but it was still madly different from the mild early-autumn climate. 
At least it smells nice.
The room looked exactly as you had imagined it, a fuchsia-purple-blue-gold color scheme, gaudy flower and ladybug themed decorations, and, of course, a king-size canopy bed. It honestly felt less like the room of a powerful adult man, and more like a clueless American teenager’s idea of what being a rich European was like. Ugh.
But you had no time at all to dwell on pointless things, you had a mystery to unpack! Moving as silently as you could, you began scouring the entire place, starting with the small bookshelf at one edge of the room. 
Nothing seemed to be evident, except for perhaps a thick-sleeved copy of Kama Sutra. Needless to say, you pushed that one in as soon as you pulled it out. At this point, you had already used your “technique” when you entered the room, but soon faded it out when you realized it was clear. 
It was frustrating, the fact that there was nothing abnormal about his room. Hell, he didn’t even have any condoms or anything in his nightstand! You’d think he’d at least have the audacity to plan on violating you using protection, but no! He didn’t possess anything suspicious aside from a shitty book or two, at least nothing he kept in his bedroom. 
Realizing this, you let out a groan, and coincidentally, you heard an unidentifiable noise right after and panicked. Heart racing, you rushed to a corner of the room, right next to a dresser, turning invisible. What you didn’t know was exactly how long you’d be forced to stay in this one spot. 
This was the point where the cracks in your plan really began to show. 
Consequences of this "technique" of yours wouldn't be apparent at first thought, but you already knew what could happen. During numerous past self-training sessions, you'd discovered how using your Stand in this way affected your body. 
By removing all visible light from your form, it basically made you a sponge for ultraviolet. The UV rays previously had, at the least, made your skin extremely irritated, and at worst, gave you a few medical scares. 
You thought that you’d be safe from this, since the lights in the room were all off, and the sun was already going down by the time you arrived. Although, when you saw the multiple light fixtures in the room, there was a sense of unease that overtook you. 
So, cut to the present, you’ve been standing in this one corner for countless hours, too terrified to move from the fear of getting caught, while dreading the inevitable daylight. Also, additionally, it was midnight at this point, and Giorno hadn’t shown up. Why?
The only people who’d come in were a few housekeepers that soon left upon seeing nothing wrong. Whenever that happened though, it was rough, as the light from the hallways tended to spill into the room and scald your skin a tad when the door was opened. 
Needless to say, your current situation kinda sucked. The only stroke of fortune you’d had so far was finding a few stale snacks in your coat pockets that gave you enough sustenance to not go insane. As for hydration, that was a different story. Before you had retreated into the corner,  you considered getting some water from the bathroom, but you held off on it until it was too late. This didn’t bode well, combined with your ever fluctuating body temperature, the dehydration set in much sooner than you had hoped.
You cursed the very concept of time, and the fact that there was no clock in the room. 
Normally, at these hours, you’d either be asleep, watching television, working, but usually asleep. Currently, you were more sleep deprived yet more awake than you’d ever been, leading to your mind going to places you’d never explored before.
It’s just not fair. You never asked for this. You never wanted to be put in this situation. What would eighteen-year-old you would’ve thought if she knew this was where she’d end up after becoming part of this organization? Crammed in the corner of her boss’s bedroom, because said boss tried to force himself on her (twice!) all of a sudden, and she wanted to get to the bottom of it instead of simply just avoiding him? 
At eighteen, during the first months of your “career”, you’d never seen your Don as a man, nor did you really see him as a boy either. Just an untouchable figure that you slowly seemed to get closer to, yet still remained slightly enigmatic. He was ethereal, beautiful, and assumedly powerful--like a god. You had no clue how he got to where he was, and you never planned on learning. Yet, as he got older, and became a little bit more reliant on you, that divine mask of his seemed to chip away. He felt more human, less like a god and more like...a demi-god? Something like that.
Despite all of that, he remained practically unreadable to you. And this persisted to this current situation, being that you still had no real idea what piqued his sudden “interest” in you. 
Your mind ended up going back to Sunday, to that first-ever incident. To his constant showcases of unwellness, to his abnormal teeth, to his fascination with that one vein in your chest. These, along with his apparent misunderstanding of temperature physics, were the only points you really had.
Racking your brain, you tried your best to come up with some kind of half-conclusion with these points. Was he sick? It’d seem like he was absolutely impervious to any kind of illness, but he was only human after all. But, you hadn’t ever heard of a flu that makes people inexplicably lustful, so that was probably off the table. 
Puberty? No, can’t be. He was too matured and too responsible to be having hormonal “rushes” like that, and succumbing to them, no less. Plus, neither that or the illness excuse explained his teeth. 
Did some kind of Stand possess him? The thought of anybody managing to lay even one finger on him seemed out of this world to you, hell, you still couldn’t fully comprehend how you managed to successfully break into his home. Even so, it did seem like it was the most plausible out of your three “theories” so that was probably the farthest you could reach with your current information.
Apparently, getting lost in your thoughts was a great time waster, as when you peered around to the window after settling down a bit, the sky had gone from near pitch black to a greyish blue. You couldn’t help but sigh when you realized this, both in weariness and fear. 
It wasn’t long before you sensed some commotion from under you, nothing too alarming, just a few signs of people walking here and there, mostly from the bottom floor. Working in stealth had caused you to greatly hone your senses, which came in useful for situations like these. You had even picked up a habit of memorizing footsteps, and that included the ones of your superiors. For example, one of Giorno’s right hand men (you didn’t know his name, but he was recognizable enough) had heavy, hasty footsteps, not unlike your mother, or a particular now-neutralized leader of a rival group. Giorno, on the other hand, walked slowly and lightly, the precision of his movements reflecting everything else he did. 
None of the footsteps downstairs stood out to you. They all blended into each other, all light and fast, the most common category you’d come up with. 
As time continued to flow, you slowly kept backing yourself even more into the corner in order to avoid as much light as you could. It revealed to be in vain, though, since you could already feel the UV seeping into your flesh and causing a mild burn. 
While uncomfortable, it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, since there were no lights on in the room. At one point, you considered moving to close the curtains, but you decided against it. 
Is it really too late to leave? Most definitely. Perhaps earlier, you could’ve ditched the plan and left without leaving any evidence, but now you were in too deep. The carpet would’ve definitely had imprints of your shoes, there was probably sweat and other DNA samples scattered around, and you most likely wouldn’t be able to close the window behind you. Shit. You knew, no matter how deluded he seemed, he’d be able to know you had broken in just with those clues. 
If only I was like him. If only. 
With that thought, a sudden wave of depression hit you. 
You were a genuine fool, to think someone like you could’ve pulled off something like this. Truly. You weren’t a thinker, you weren’t a conniving mastermind, you were a pawn, a worker, a soldier. A machine that just knew how to follow orders.
But then again, you were kind of content like that. And besides, becoming a breeding doll for your boss wasn’t exactly your ideal type of promotion. 
So you stayed. Stayed in that one place, till something came up again.
♡🐞♡
You weren’t very sure, but you felt that it was around 4:00 PM when your situation truly began to shift. 
Leading up to said shift, you’d been drifting in and out of consciousness, as keeping B • H • S up took a lot of your energy. During those moments when you were present, you kept wondering if you’d end up eventually dying here, in this place. Wondering if you’d just end up succumbing to the dehydration and radiation, keeling over like a ragdoll while the light inside you faded.
What would people think of me if that happened? They’d probably see it as some kind of Aesopian tragedy, a cautionary tale to be passed on throughout the organization. A tale of a woman with a once efficient, somewhat important role in the great Passione machine, who threw it all away in the search for unnecessary answers. 
You were genuinely starting to feel hopeless. It was most likely showing, too, you could tell some of your color was fading back in, no matter how transparent it was. 
How ironic. In all of the many kinds of media you’ve consumed, color was usually a symbol of hope, while darkness and paleness was seen as evil. It seemed like, in your case, that was reversed.
Ignoring your past fears, you couldn’t help but let out a sigh when you thought of this. And that was when you heard it. 
Footsteps. Recognizable footsteps, no less, coming from the hallway just outside the room, getting closer and closer. 
Slow and light. Perfetto. 
 And just like that, all of your color faded away once more. 
It wasn’t all smooth sailing, though, there was something abnormal about those footsteps. They weren’t slow slow, like you were used to, they were a tad quicker, a smidge hastier. Medium slow. 
That didn’t matter when they paused, presumably just behind the door. You could’ve sworn your heart stopped when you saw the handle of the flower-shaped door knob begin to wiggle and turn. 
Time seemed to go slow as the engraved, gold-painted door creaked open, and from the corner came a shiny black brogue. Who else could it have been, but the man of the hour himself? 
Giorno stepped in slowly, a neutral, but slightly worried look on his face. He was being a bit cautious, almost reminiscent of how you stepped into his office that fateful Sunday. His outfit looked no different than your past few encounters with him, somehow, some way. 
You watched his eyes scan the room as he closed the door behind him. Again, it felt like your heart was stopped, especially as he was glancing towards the exact corner you stood in. 
This is it. He can definitely tell where I am. He’s going to find me. He totally is. I knew I shouldn’t have done this. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. In that quick second, regrets started filling your head for what felt like the thousandth time today. If you had decided not to go through with this, you probably could’ve just moved to California and lived out your dreams, devoid of worry. But no, no no no no, you just had to--
Giorno didn’t notice you. 
The confidence that refilled into you felt blazing. 
Your boss sighed and started taking off his shoes, and shortly afterwards, his socks. You watched him closely, even as he strode to his closet to put them away, walked back towards your side to grab a random book from his bookshelf, and then promptly tossed said book onto his bed. 
When he approached the door again, and his deft fingers neared the light switch, your breathing hitched. Fortunately, he lowered them, deciding against flicking on the lights. 
It felt so surreal, watching him like this, in his element. Perhaps it wasn’t exactly normal, as you took note of how dismayed his face looked, and how hasty he was when walking down the hall. Well, it wasn’t surprising, but it felt a little good to know it wasn’t just you he was acting weird around.
He stopped in the middle of the room and stretched his back, grunting very quietly before sitting down at his decorated vanity. A rolling noise echoed through the room as he opened one drawer and took out a bottle of liquid, and then a small crimson handkerchief. Then, he turned a knob on the side of the mirror, and the brim of the vanity mirror lit up.
Despite the sudden flash of excess light, you steeled your resolve and stayed silent. This was your chance, you couldn’t go and ruin it now. Besides, it wasn’t even that much artificial light--it’d take more than a tiny fluorescent bulb to take you down. 
You examined him as he dabbled the liquid on the hanky, sighed, and then began to smear it on his face. He started with his cheeks, then his forehead, the bridge of his nose, and ended with his chin. All while the red cloth gathered a stain of pale beige, and the true texture of his face was revealed. 
There was a noticeable red tint on his face, like he had a fever or something. It made sense. A lot of sense, actually.
Giorno turned the cloth over, re-applied the remover, and wiped off his mouth. The natural light pink color of his lips was uncovered, pert and shiny. 
Cute.
Wait, no. 
As soon as those intrusive thoughts entered your head, you shook them out and internally punished yourself for even noticing that. 
You still had a good reason for looking at his mouth, you were trying to spot his strange teeth, but they didn't seem to show. Bummer. He then moved on to his eyes, giving the lids a couple half-assed swipes before setting the hanky down altogether. 
He stood up, closed his eyes, and started fiddling with the brooches on his coat, while trailing off near your side of the room. Before you knew it, he was standing right next to you, topless, the garment folded in his arms. It all happened so fast and so smoothly, it was almost terrifying.
Now it really felt like you were invading his privacy. Especially after he put the coat away, walked a few meters away from you, and stretched his back again. You could see every inch of his slim, toned figure, every muscle that shifted underneath his flawless flesh. Needless to say there was a bit of heat on your face, and it wasn’t just from the radiation. 
After he had enough of giving you an unintended show, he sat back down at his vanity and rested his left leg on top of the other. Leaning back, he lifted his long braid onto his shoulder. You couldn’t remember where from, but you once heard that he hadn’t gotten one haircut in the entire time he’d been Don, allowing it to lengthen down to the small of his back. 
How does he manage all of that? You knew it wasn’t the most important thing to worry about, but still, how? 
      Perhaps the same way he handled everything else in his life; (Well, everything except advancing onto you, and most of his interior decorating) With inexplicable perfection.
He began to meticulously pull his braid apart, after removing all the ties. It was insane, how he managed to make even something as simple as unraveling his hair look so graceful, in a way only he could achieve. 
Under the cloak of your Stand, you bit your cheeks. 
When he was done, he tossed and shook his hair, a golden cascade that rolled off his shoulders and flowed down to the base of his spine. Soon he grabbed a brush from inside a drawer and started combing it, ever-so-slowly and gently, with zero hitches or knots. 
You were, frankly, quite enjoying the view up to this point, but this is where things started to get a bit...mundane. Never did it cross your mind how many times your boss had to brush his hair each night, but it was proving to be quite a few strokes. You were nearly thankful you didn’t decide to count them. 
While this was going down, however, you could feel the UV still penetrating your skin. Along with your ever irritated epidermis, there was a growing faint feeling in the back of your skull, and a rather queasy feeling in your gut. Crap.
The only thing you could really hear now was the sound of your own breathing. The more stress put on you, the louder it got, blocking out subtler sounds that you could’ve heard earlier. One said thing you did pick up on was the quiet but notable sound of the brush passing through his locks. 
For a second, you considered moving to a more comfortable position, but you knew it would be way too risky. What you did do, however, was look out the window again, checking the sky. While it was darkening, it looked to be a while before you’d feel any true relief from the ultraviolet. 
At this point, Giorno seemed to have finished brushing his hair, now just sitting down and watching himself in the mirror. You had expected him to get into bed and start reading the book he had gotten earlier, but no, he just...stayed still. 
The sound of your breathing got quieter. 
He exhaled. Then grunted. All of a sudden, he began showing visible and audible signs of pain, curling over with his hand on his abdomen. His other hand, steadying himself on the edge of the vanity, twisted into a fist, the knuckles white. 
“God…” You heard him breathe out, his voice brittle. Catching a glimpse of his face, you saw how scrunched it was, and how prominent the redness became. 
It really looks like he’s suffering.
You almost felt bad for the poor guy. Almost. Keyword, almost. 
Your line of sight wandered back to his eyes, which were dropped, looking down. He had leant back in his chair, gazing at his own lap. It didn’t register with you when his hands moved down to his hips. It didn’t register with you when he unbuttoned his paints, and hooked his thumbs into the waistband. 
The next time you looked down, you saw it. 
He was...exposed. To say the very least. And...erect. Very erect.
It was like staring into the goddamn sun. 
You almost immediately averted your gaze, your breathing stopping altogether, as the heat in your cheeks threatened to grow hotter than the radiation racking your body. Oh lord. Mother of god, what the hell?
Out of the corner of your eye you saw him wrap his hand around himself, and soon after you heard him moan. He moaned. Was this really happening? 
It shouldn’t have shocked you as much as it did, it really shouldn't have. 
He gave himself a gentle stroke, and the weight continued to sink in. You frantically looked for something else to gaze at, but you couldn’t resist the urge to stare. Instead, you settled on squinting your eyes so much so that you could barely see anything.
The sound of his breathy voice cut through in the silent room, torturing your own ears with sounds that sent uncomfortable shivers through your torso. 
Now you really felt like a pervert. Truly. Never in your life would the thought of a situation like this ever crossed your mind, even at your most hormonal during your teenage years. Secretly watching someone, anyone “gratify” themselves was already a wild idea, and now that said person was your boss, one of the most powerful men in the goddamn country?
It made you want to scream.
Minutes went on, with no sign of him stopping. Although, halfway through, you picked up on something; something a little strange.
His soft, gentle moans had changed into what sounded more like sobs. Not even erotic sobs, just genuine weeps. You bit the bullet, looked at his face, and lo and behold, he was crying. His tears mixed with the leftover eye makeup on his face, and dripped down onto the surface of the vanity and the floor. It was the first time you’d ever seen him like this. 
It was the strangest, most disturbingly saddest thing you’d ever seen. And you'd seen plenty of messed up movies. Yet, instead of feeling sympathy, something else clicked inside of you.
The shock, embarrassment, and fear faded away. 
He was vulnerable. For the first time you’d ever seen.
I could kill him right now. 
You totally could. You could collapse the entire room with just one flick of your wrist, and most likely get away in time as well. All his efforts, over the three years he’d been at the top, could be destroyed in just a matter of seconds. And he wouldn’t even know. 
How ironically poetic would that be? After trying to violate his lackey twice, said lackey ends his life while he’s pleasuring himself--like a fucked up modern version of a cautionary Greek fable. 
What would happen after that? Would I take over? Could I?
The thought of that was enough to make you hesitant. Would that really be what you wanted? 
You moved for the first time in hours, bringing your invisible hand in front of your face. Even though you couldn’t see it, you knew it was there, and you knew what it could do. 
Would I be hunted? Killed? Assassinated? Or would people...worship me? 
While the morals of the organization confused you more than anything, you knew some people had strong, strong feelings about Giorno’s policies. You couldn’t even think of any changes you would make, honestly, you didn’t care or know enough about that kind of stuff. 
During your juggle of the pros and cons of that decision, the young man across the room grew all the more intense, bucking into his own soft hand, most likely wishing it was yours. His other hand moved from the vanity to the edge of his chair, his knuckles white and forearm trembling. He shut his stained eyes and tilted his head up towards the ceiling, voice growing higher and breathier. 
After a couple more solid pumps, he finally released. He let out one final whine as he climaxed, bringing you out of your thoughts and forcing you to lay eyes on him once again. As his essences surged out, he exhaled gently, his body calming back down. 
You watched as he sniveled one last time, before loosening his back and letting go of himself. He put his hands in front of him, seemingly coming to terms with what he just did, before tossing his hair up and sighing one more time. 
Giorno sorted himself out a bit, pulling his waistband back up again before slumping over with the bridge of his nose between his fingers. 
Your window of opportunity was starting to close. You could feel it.
Near panicking, you put your hand out in front of yourself and did a quick rundown of all the consequences of taking action. 
This is my chance.
If I don’t do this now, who knows what will happen?
But is it really worth it? 
Who else could I hurt by doing this?
Shit. 
With the fingers crossed, you raised your hand up higher.
If I’m going to do this, I have to focus…
So you did. Your vision unblurred, and…
wait.
what the hell is that.
Across the room, the ghostly golden form of G • E had been manifested. And its fingers were at the light switch. 
no
no you cant do that
you cant
its not fair
Time seemed to go slow as you watched the switch flip up.
thatd be way too much light please
please dont do that
please 
dont
During that microsecond after the switch flipped, you almost came to terms with your downfall. 
The instant the ceiling light came on, what felt like a thousand suns bloomed upon your flesh. It was like every single atom in your body was being shaken, and a dozen needles were being shoved into the back of your skull. You gave in near immediately, crossing your forearms over your face in an attempt to protect yourself as your cloak dissipated and you came crumbling down to the floor. 
You hit the carpet with a thump, letting out the shrillest, most pained scream of your life. After all this time, you were finally able to see your own two hands again, but this time they looked emaciated and dull as they gripped onto the carpet. 
There was most likely something else going down in the room, but you paid it no mind, as you raised yourself up onto all fours. Something swashed through your head and caused you to heave, a concerning amount of liquidy saliva dripping out in place of vomit. 
Behind the sound of the loud ringing in your ears, you heard a voice. 
“I-I...ah…”
You turned your head towards him, neck cracking, eyes so wide they hurt. He looked absolutely taken aback, his jaw dropped and cold sweat on his forehead. 
Once again, a newfound confidence overtook you. 
I may still have a chance.
All of your remaining strength was used up trying to get back on your feet, all while you kept glaring at him. With your hand pointed to the sky, you shouted;
"Don't you dare! I can murder you right now, right this second! I won't hesitate, bastard!'
His face looked filled with dread. "H...how long have you--"
"Thirty-two hours! Thirty two fuckin' hours! I've been hiding here, cooking myself alive, waiting for you, for thirty-two...ho...urs…" your breath ran out as you finished your words. 
"I...dear lord…" he uttered.
Seconds upon seconds of awkward silence between you two passed, so much that you could feel the lactic acid building up in your arm muscles. Both of you were breathing heavily, you moreso, with your body begging you to stop doing things. 
Eventually, Giorno’s expression dropped, and he turned, once again slumped over while pinching the bridge of his nose. 
Is...is he not going to attack me? “H...hey...what’s your deal?” You asked, quieter.
He wiped his hands down his face, groaning. “Suppose this is what I get for being brainless...god almighty…” It was infuriating, how easily he brushed off your threats like they were nothing. 
Your rage flared. “You’re underestimating me, aren’t you? Don’t doubt me! I already have one of my Stand’s plants on the roof, and if you try to pull anything on me, I’ll destroy everything you’ve built up over the years!” That part about the plant may or may not have been true. 
The golden boy looked at you again, completely unamused. “Alright…” he breathed out, dropping his arms to his lap. “I understand why you’re angry. I really do. If--”
“Then why’d you do it?” You quickly spat out, “why are you like this all of a sudden? What’s going on with you?”
A few more seconds of silence passed. 
He sighed. Again. “If you really want it so badly...then I suppose you have the right to know. Just...calm down, please?”
You were a little stunned at this sudden turn of events. It felt like just a few minutes ago you thought he was like a heavily-guarded safe full of secrets, but now he’s just offering to open himself up to you, right here, in this very moment.
“Retract your Stand, please,” he made a lowering gesture with both hands. “I don’t want you to strain yourself anymore. Come and sit down, I beg of you.” His arm stretched out and he patted at his soft bedding. 
While you did indeed lower your arm, you stayed hesitant, refusing to let your guard down. “Hey, wait. I don’t get it, how come you’re acting so…”
Giorno quirked a brow.
“So...normal?” You gritted your teeth after the last word left your mouth.
“Sit. Please.” It would’ve been rude not to comply.
Now that you both were face-to-face, seemingly both in the right state of mind, he began. “Honestly, as mortifying as it is, I think you came at the best possible time. That’s because…” He cleared his throat. 
“It’s something I’ve been experiencing ever since April--perhaps even before then. I’ve been having these...urges, these...desires. And...oh, how do I put this...it started off somewhat normal, but it soon started to cause me...physical ailments.”
The eye contact didn’t last long, as you ended up dropping down onto his bed, resting your dire, dire self. You felt a tiny bit bad for paying less attention to his words and more attention to the lovingly soft mattress, but you still got the gist of what he was saying. 
“It’s been especially apparent in my…” again, he cleared his throat. “...abdominal region. There’s this pressure, this pain, and it doesn’t have anything to do with my stomach or my kidneys or what have you--it’s something different entirely. And that’s only where it begins…”
The feelings in your head were mixed. One part of your brain had sympathy, while the other felt a bit of gratitude hearing his ailments. It was a bit fucked, sure, but pretty understandable considering what you’d been through. 
"My body's been so hot--"
"--I know. I could tell."
He looked down sheepishly after you interrupted him. 
"That's the one thing I've been noticing." You went on, "it's weird, man. Plus, closing the door to 'keep the cool air inside?' That's not how that works at all!"
Silence. 
"Y...yes. You're right. But in addition to that, my throat's been so dehydrated, and near nothing will quench it. It's awful, truly…"
"And?"
"Mastur--ah, gratifying myself helps, but only temporarily. Each time that longing, that fire comes back to haunt me and it...it hurts…"
After some more silence, you propped yourself up by your elbows to look at him again. "That sounds...horrible, but I just want to know, why? Are you sick? I don't--"
"I was going to get to that."
He shut you up. 
Taking another sigh, he leant back in his chair again, holding his knee. "If you had asked me that, say, four months ago, I wouldn't have had a clue. Yet lately…"
"I'm listening."
He inhaled for a good second. "I've been looking deeper into my origins, ever since I turned eighteen, trying to find out where I came from...and what I discovered was--" 
And...out.
Everything your boss said started going in one ear and out the other. And who could blame you? It was a habit. 
He just...went on, about his family, parents, his Stand and even his birthmarks for some reason. You truly didn't see the point in 99 percent of what he was talking about. 
I just want to know why you're acting like this, you bastard. I don't care about your dad or whatever…
Despite your vexation, you did pick up on one subject that he seemed to bring up a lot during his tangent; Vampirism.
It stuck in your head so much, that when he finally stopped talking you instantly sat up and responded, "woah, woah, what? What are you talking about, about vampires? You're not seriously…"
His deadpan expression told you all you needed to know. It also told you that he could tell you were barely listening to him. 
“Well, that’s what I said.” He began, “my current theory, stemming from all the research I’ve done...is that I’m a vampire.” He paused for a second, then adding on, “or, at least an ancestor of mine was.”
More silence.
Wha?
It definitely should’ve shocked you more than it did, but...somehow, it made  everything make sense. The teeth, the thirst...still, part of your world was turned upside down. You weren’t even too unfamiliar with the supernatural, with your family being relatively superstitious, but something like this…
"And I'm thinking that this period is some kind of...awakening. A sort of…--"
"Vampire puberty." It wasn’t even a question, the pure disbelief in your voice overshadowed any other nuance.
"Oh, putting it like that makes it sound a bit--" you cut him off before his last word.
“--you...you’re kidding right?” You couldn’t help but stare him down, but he looked 100% serious. “Ho-how? How did you come to that conclusion, of all things? I mean, I get it, sorta, but…”
Giorno put his hands in front of his mouth and took in a deep breath. “Have you ever tried pork blood before, amore?”
Now it was your turn to stare at him with a judgmental look.
“I had some the other day at an Asian restaurant...oh,” he moved his hand to his cheek and looked away from you, “it was the most delicious thing I’d ever tasted. Truly, it was amazing.” His eyes were near sparkling. 
You weren’t given a second to respond.
“After I had that, some of the dryness in my throat went away, but it was only for a while. I still found my eyes lingering on people’s veins, at the reddest points of their bodies...and you were no different.” A pang of your heart rang through your nerves. “Somehow, I knew that the only thing that would satiate me would be...the taste of a human, as awful as it sounds.”
Silence continued to prevail.
It was a lot to take in. You ended up getting up and standing in front of him, your back turned and your hands supporting the back of your head. 
In spite of the millions of words swirling in your head, one seemed to prevail. 
"Me…?"
"Pardon?"
You dropped your hands, but refused to look at him. "You could've chosen anybody to pursue, for these needs, but...you chose me, of all people."
“Well, I…” Giorno stopped talking when he heard you inhale sharply.
Rather slowly, you turned your head to look him in the eye. 
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” 
It became uncomfortably quiet, and he looked down at his hands, twiddling his fingers. “I don’t see how that has anything to do with--”
“You are! I fuckin’ knew it!” Your voice came out loud, louder than you intended, but you didn’t bother piping down, “holy shit…” The only thing that felt appropriate was to rub your temples while continuing to take in all you’d learnt. 
“What difference does it make?” His brows were slanted, a questioning and slightly furious expression on his face. “I don’t understand why you’re making a big deal out of it.”
“Be-because...ugh…!” You were having a tough time getting your words out, your voice going up a few more pitches. “That kind of thing...for your first time, you should do it with a person you, uh, really love…"
"But I-"
"An-an-and!" You held a finger level with his face before crossing your arms. "You should do it with someone your own age, too!"
He did some math on his fingers. "Wait, you're not that much older than me at all--"
"We-ell then whatever!" You knew you sounded irrational at this point, but something was still driving you to sputter out words. "The...the point is, someone like you should do this with somebody special...I mean, I’m just a random lackey, right? It’s not like I’m...uhm…”
His expression didn’t drop, it just grew more irritated. 
“You truly never listen to me, do you, cara?” Your boss sighed and looked towards the mirror again. “How many times have I told you, already?”
He watched as your once hardened appearance softened with concern. 
“I chose you to go after because I love you. Didn’t I tell you this before?"
"I...uh…"
“‘Random lackey…’” He repeated your words with venom on his tongue, shaking his head. “Ever since I met you, knowing all you were capable of, I’ve felt a connection to you. Not to mention you’re one of the most…” a dreamy sigh came out of him, “...interesting people I’ve ever had working under me. I mean...you broke into my house, that's so...bold."
It was too much. All this news, it felt like your brain was an overflowed sponge. 
“No...don’t say that…”
In the midst of all your confusion, he stood up.
“What do you mean? Do you not believe me?” 
You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 
"Amore mio, I’ve loved you for so long, now...I know this is all sudden, but I thought you would be the best one for this situation, I thought you of all people would understand…” His hand came up to brush some of your damp hair away from your forehead. 
“Lying...you’re lying, you have to be…” It couldn’t be genuine. It just couldn’t. “You...someone like you...can’t…”
One of his hands came to rest on your shoulder. 
“Oh, why do you reject me so much?” He breathed out, “you keep saying ‘someone like you’...what kind of person do you think I am…?”
Your name slipped out his lips at the end of his sentence. His words sent shocks right to your eyes, the liquid threatening to spill out. 
“Maybe…” his face became one of sympathy. “Perhaps you don’t think someone like you deserves a person like me?"
That was it. That was when your downfall became cemented in stone. It felt like he had just stuck a key into your heart, but instead of unlocking anything, it just made everything collapse. Your egoism, your confidence, and all of your self-security shattered, and the pieces that fell had cause your tears to overflow. 
Although, you did realize one thing. 
Giorno Giovanna was far from a super-secretive man, nor was he cold like one might expect from a goddamn mob boss. You had no idea how he got to where he was. But, despite that, you realized how he kept his place at the top. How he managed to control everyone under him, how he got so many people to submit without using force. 
He got inside my head. It's over.
The tears felt hot running down your face. 
All you could let out was a sob, and a fragment of a word. Without warning, he lowered his head and pressed his mouth to yours, taking in the noises while holding your face gently. 
His lips taste like roses. 
Was there really anything else you could do, besides kissing him back? You gripped at his triceps, still sobbing out your nose as he deepened the kiss, without protest from you. It went on for a few seconds, before you finally couldn’t take it anymore and broke away from him, escaping his embrace and moving away quickly.
Despite you retreating into the bathroom, both you and him knew that he had won.
♡🐞♡
Click, clack. Click, clack. Click, clack. The imaginary clock in Giorno’s head was the only thing he could currently hear. It felt like it could be fit for a time-bomb, as the longer the uneventful period went on, the closer he felt to exploding. 
Five minutes. It had only been five minutes since you had ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind you, leaving him to contemplate his actions. (“Contemplate” in large quotes, since there was already a lustful smog growing in his brain, clouding up his rational thinking.) Since you had retreated, he had picked up on water occasionally running, a few concerning heavy impacts, and perhaps a cry or two. 
He was almost starting to think that he might’ve pushed you a bit too far, what with making you break down in front of him and all that. He would’ve actually begun to feel some regret, if not for him hearing the bathroom door behind him at the perfect time.
Giorno looked behind his shoulder, and there you were. Standing in the doorway, completely bare apart from your underwear, covering your breasts with your forearm. While there was still a shy, cold expression on your face, the three words you uttered told him all he needed to know.
“Do your worst.”
The pure joy inside of him fired up. He finally met with your eyes, giving you a small smile that said a thousand thankful words. 
Before you even had a chance to trail a meter away from the doorway, he had stepped over to you and trapped you in his oh-so-warm embrace. He soon kissed the shell of your ear, uttering out a soft "thank you."
Your legs felt weak.
He snaked around behind you, aligning his arm with your raised one. His hand cupped your knuckles, squeezing them. 
"Put your arm down...let me see you…" there was an almost desperate twinge in his voice, more apparent when it was so close to your other ear. 
Of course, you obeyed him. What else could you do?
The golden boy resisted the primal urge to grope and caress your chest, instead deciding to begin guiding you towards his bed. He still kept his bare torso flush against yours. 
When your knees touched the edge of the mattress you instinctively gave in and dropped down onto the comforter, momentarily detaching from him as you crawled up to your knees.
When you blinked, Giorno was in front of you again. He put his hand on your neck and gripped it very gently, getting up-close to your chest-shoulder area. You could feel his lips touching against the very slight hairs on your body, threatening to give you goosebumps. 
“Cara…” he still sounded desperate. “I...I don’t know where to bite first…” 
It was true. There were just too many places he could go for first; the soft, lovely flesh of your breasts, the accessible, potent croon of your neck and shoulders, or even a part of your face...it was enough to give him analysis paralysis.
He didn’t get any suggestions from you. 
Eventually he made his decision by pressing his lips against your chest, right next to where your heart was. For a split second he pulled away, allowing you to invite him by raising up your tits with your forearm. 
You watched him, his eyes happy, as he slowly opened his maw, revealing his small fangs. It wasn’t long before he finally bit down onto you, be it mildly. 
It didn’t hurt that much the first time around, but it made both of you realize it'd take more force to get you to bleed for him.
He wasn't deterred though, quickly after the first bite he champed down again, his canines poking down into your flesh, drawing a sharp exhale from you. 
The harder he bit, the more you whined. You felt a bit of suction on the spot, as he was trying his hardest to get any of your extract out and onto his tongue. 
Finally, after gnawing at you for a good half-minute, he broke skin. 
To your surprise, he pulled away, wanting to look at your blood before he indulged. The little red splotch bloomed bigger, and started to flow down your breast. 
The pure, unadulterated salacity in his eyes made your body feel warm. 
His tongue rolled out, his breath so hot it was like steam in the cold room. He swept up all the blood that flowed out, his saliva seeping into your small puncture and stinging slightly. 
But that sensation had nothing on what he was feeling. 
By God, it was the most sublime thing he'd ever tasted. Coating his tongue, your fluid sent him into a state of absolute ecstasy. 
It was as sweet as caramel, yet as intoxicating as absinthe. 
After letting out a small, amazed moan, he re-attached to your skin and sucked on it, trying to force out more of the liquid ruby. It was a miniscule wound, so only a small, thin stream was coming out, but he savored every drop of it by mixing it with his own saliva so he could swallow it down better.
His swallows were definitely audible. You tilted your head back, completely bewildered at what was currently happening. 
He’s drinking me.
My boss is drinking me.
My perfect, psycho boss is drinking me. 
You felt your flesh be released after a short while, Giorno letting out a groan. He moved his hands up to hold the sides of your face, staring deep into your eyes. His once pale-pink lips were stained with red. 
“I love you, I love you so much…” The words came out barely as whispers, before he kissed you again. You were instantly met with the coppery taste of your own blood. 
When he pulled away, the string of saliva that connected the two of you was dyed a light red. You glanced down and saw that the bite mark had been smudged, so even more of your chest was painted crimson. 
There was something...exciting about that. Something you couldn’t put your finger on. 
Giorno shifted, his hands on your shoulders, so that he was pressed against your back once again. He tugged you backwards, leaning onto the wall behind the bed. It wasn’t long before he sunk his teeth into your trapezius, again gnawing a few times before getting access to his ambrosia. 
It was definitely painful, getting your blood actively sucked out gave you cold chills wherever he bit. You were thankful that he wasn’t drawing litres from you, in movies it always looked so...violent…
You couldn’t help but throw your arms back around his shoulders, squishing your hands between him and the wall. 
He continued to drink for a good stretch of time, before sliding one hand down your body. You watched him as he pressed his middle finger against your clothed crux, producing a short yelp from you. His fingertip pressed down until there was an apparent wet spot in your dark grey bottoms. 
Hot air brushed by your ear. “You’re wet~♡” He cooed, pushing his fingertip lower down the cleft. You tilted your ear away from him, squeezing your eyes shut. 
A cry escaped your lips when he slipped his hand under your bottoms and wasted no time massaging your excited nub. 
“I wonder how it got that way?” His inquiry was met by a sob. “Hmm...maybe you like it when I drink you up…♡?”
“I-I...ah…”
“Or…” You could feel him smile against your shoulder. “You did watch me when I was enjoying myself earlier...maybe you get off to that kind of stuff?”
“Wha...no…”
He tittered and kissed the area behind your ear. “Well? Am I correct? Do you get off watching younger men touch themselves?” 
An uncontrollable cry came out of you. No...you’re wrong…
“Oh, you’re a pervert, aren’t you~♡ ” 
“I’m not...not a pervert…”
You could tell he was toying with you. 
Goddamnit…
While you cursed in your head, deep down, your body loved it. 
Another stint of him drinking you went by, all while his hand grew more vigorous. You managed to suppress most of your noises, but it grew harder the closer you got to your climax. The thought of cumming while he was still indulging in your blood...it was so…
He pulled away with a satiated sigh. 
When his fangs left you, so did his hand. It left your lower area convulsing, feeling abandoned.
“Tesoro…♡” Giorno nuzzled up against you. “That was amazing...you tasted so good, I think I might get addicted...I’m so happy...I love you…”
Despite being on the brink of orgasm, you felt a strong feeling of relief, knowing that this “saga” was over. You couldn’t help but smile, shutting your eyes and dropping your arms down and enjoying the feeling of being held in your boss’s warm arms. 
“I...uhm, Giorno...I think I…” The words you wanted to say were hard to get out, but eventually you managed to build up the needed “confidence”. 
You felt a bit dazed from getting all that blood taken from you, but it wasn’t too bad. 
It was still unbelievable to you, to think that all this time a grandiose man like him had taken such an interest in a lowlife like you...it still felt conflicting. What’s gonna happen now? What comes next? With the intent of asking him that, you opened your eyes, and…
Oh.
Somehow, you had changed positions without even noticing. He had laid you out on the bed, your head on the pillow, and was straddling you. The light from the window bounced off his eyes, and you knew it was far from over. 
He was pressing his hard-on right into your crotch, his hands on your waist. “Bella…” he murmured, dragging his hands closer to himself. 
You felt your heart thump harder as he hooked his thumbs into his waistband and pulled down his pants again. Your eyes went from the center of his briefs to his face, trying to signal your distress to him. Too bad he was only focused on “himself”. 
Determined to not see his cock again, you shut your eyes tight. Yet something in your head told you that it was inevitable, because honestly, where else could this go? 
So you opened your eyes, be it slowly, and laid your sight on him. 
This is really happening, isn’t it? 
It was utterly stiff, resting on your belly, and tinged with red, just like his face. His pre dripped down near your navel, the heat combatting with the surface of your skin. 
You looked up at him again, but couldn’t tell if he was doing the same to you. His eyes were pointed not at your face, but somewhere lower. Not being able to predict what was going to happen next, you swallowed nothing. 
Suddenly, the bed rumbled a bit, and you reflexively closed your eyes again. You felt the crown of your head knock against the wall, before you noticed a sudden weight on your torso. When you peeked ahead, you realized Giorno had moved up your body, now straddling your lower thorax. 
You were met with the head of his cock, resting comfortably in the valley of your breasts. Immediately your face reached internal levels of warmth you didn’t even know were possible.
“I wanted to try this, with you, for a while now…” he trailed off before putting some saliva in his hand rather solemnly. 
How long is a ‘while’?
While he massaged the makeshift lubricant onto himself, you were staring up at him, at a loss for words. “This-this position is...it’s, uhm…” To think that such a presumably perfectly proper person would have such...pornagraphic proposals. Maybe you yourself weren’t as “experienced” as you liked to think you were. 
His hands traveled to the sides of your chest, pushing them up so that the soft meat enveloped his shaft. A satisfied sigh came out his mouth, this was just the start and you already felt like heaven.
“Gio-ru-no…~” despite his nails being just barely a quarter-centimeter long, you felt them digging into your flesh. You were glad he wasn’t too heavy, if he was this would probably be even rougher. “Be gentle...please…?” 
Your pleas were unfortunately ignored. 
Unable to wait any longer, he pulled back a little bit before pushing forward, slightly rocking both the two of you and the bed. There was a bit of a cooldown period before he rammed his hips forward again, and again, and again. 
“Amore mio, amore mio~♡” Thoughtless words were spilling from him. “So, good...your body really is the best~♡! I love...everything...about you…” He kept speaking in between pushes, but you could barely pick up on it.
The sight of his cock rhythmically slipping on your chest--it was almost hypnotizing. It was just..so lewd, so much it was by itself stimulating. You were helpless, letting your tits get fucked by your beautiful bastard of a boss, arms limp on the bed. 
Under your breasts, you could feel his testes against you--you could tell they were heavy. Lewd noises kept coming out with each shove, and you had a front-row seat to them. That along with his ecstatic moans created a cacophony of smutty noises that assaulted your eardrums. His tip kept inching ever-closer to your face, to the point where you felt you would be able to kiss it if you wanted to. 
Giorno kept going, rocking his hips over and over again, and it made you wonder if he was ever going to finish. 
This really is happening, isn’t it...not a dream, or a trip, or anything…
He’s using me like some kind of object...
How long has he wanted to do this kind of stuff with me?
Where...did he even get the idea to do this?
Those questions were pointless, and you knew it.
You were jerked out of your thoughts when he pressed his thumbs against your nipples, making you flinch and scrunch up your face. The small amount of tears that had been building up in your eyes were squeezed out, coating your eyelids. 
Seeing that subtle change in your face, Giorno sped up his movements. The whines that came from you as a result of his roughness just tempted him more, giving him extra ideas of what he’d do in the future. 
Something dripped down and hit your cheek, as well as the pillowcase around your head. Only an idiot wouldn’t be able to tell what it was, which was sweat that was dripping from his bare body. It perplexed you how he still managed to smell like fragrant flowers. 
His “rhythm” was beginning to feel like it was synchronizing with your heartbeat, and in a weird way, it was relaxing. Maybe it was that, combined with his warmth, his weight, the soft mattress...you wondered that, if you did hypothetically fall asleep in the midst of this, would he continue? 
It proved to be another pointless question, as soon enough the golden boy’s moans peaked, before he suddenly stopped. 
Is...is he done?
For a split second, you felt his weight lift from your body, but at the same time one of his hands gripped at your jaw roughly. He pulled down, forcing you to open up but a tad, before he quickly moved even higher up your body and stuffed his cock in your mouth. 
Your tear-laced eyes went wide immediately. A muffled whimper came out your throat, but he ignored it and dropped himself lower down, stabilizing himself on the wall. Your abused gag reflex caused more tears to flow out, but it also just made your throat tighten around him.
After he let out a few sighs of pleasure, you glanced up at his face. His eyes were glimmering as he kept forcing himself into you, adoring the way all the soft ridges and bumps felt against his ready-to-burst cock. 
Tears were completely blurring your sight as he bottomed out in your mouth. A joyous, shuddering groan came out of him before you felt something hot bloom in the middle of your neck. 
Realization set in, and so did a slight sense of panic. It wasn’t long before your throat had been filled, agitating your gag reflex even more. Your heart thumped heavily as his essence invaded your mouth, the strange taste a bit too overwhelming. 
While one of your hands had fingers shaking and curling, you raised the other one up to batter at his side, trying to tell him he was starting to stifle you. 
In response, he reached down and pinched your nose shut. 
“This...this is only fair, right~?” There was some kind of sadistic giggle in his voice. "Come on, take it, take all of me…♡" his smile, despite looking filled with nothing but love, made you want to cry even more. 
You felt yourself begin to asphyxiate. 
“Swallow it.” While his voice was soft, it still managed to be commanding, almost intimidating. 
Not having any other options, you obeyed.
Soon as Giorno saw the lump in your neck go down, he removed himself and lifted off of your body. The excess fluid that didn’t go down came gushing out of your uselessly-closed lips, oozing down your chin as you struggled to sit up. 
You put your hand to your mouth as you coughed, trying in vain to stop it from getting everywhere. To your dismay, you felt a drop of it land on your chest. 
Despite the multiple fluids covering your face, you, once again, felt a strong feeling of relief. It’s over now, right? It’s gotta be. No way is he still…
You were distracted by him wrapping an arm around your shoulder and kissing your temple. “There we go...it wasn’t that hard, right?” No response to that.
“See, I got to drink you…” he chuckled as if he had just told a joke. “And now you got to drink me! We’re equal now~!”
Even if you wanted to talk back to him, you couldn’t, as there was still liquid pooled in your mouth. After spitting out most of it onto your hand, you picked up on something--your bottoms were being lowered. 
You jerked to the side. “Wait, wait, wait--what are you doing?” His fingers were still pulling at your waistband, despite you kicking a bit to try and get him to quit. 
He looked at you with a rather sudden innocent expression. “Well, we’re moving on now, aren't we?” 
“You can’t be serious, ri-right? You...just finished…” without words, you were proven wrong by him straightening his back, revealing that he was still hard.
Lord have mercy.
“That...doesn’t make sense...how…” Giorno interrupted your driveling by pulling you back down the bed, tilting you onto your back. You genuinely didn’t know how much more you could take.
Your leg was lifted up, resting on the inside of his elbow. “Did you actually think we were done…?” He laughed while completely removing your soused underwear. It was humiliating, seeing him with the small garment dangling off of his index, and it got even worse when he carelessly dropped it onto the floor behind him. “You haven’t even finished yet, right? What kind of man would I be to let you--no, the both of us,--go unsatisfied...?” 
But I’m already ‘satisfied’... It was true, even if you hadn’t technically climaxed yet, you still felt like this had gone on long enough and--
“A-ah--!” Suddenly, you were ripped out of your thoughts by the feeling of him prodding your crux with the supple head of his cock. The sudden heat made your channel clench around nothing as he pulled away from your entrance. You uncontrollably pushed up your pelvis, most certainly looking oh-so desperate for him. 
While pulling even farther away from you, he moved his hand before spreading your vulva with his middle knuckles. He peered down at your drooling pink hole, watching your insides convulse with a voracious look in his eye. 
“Ah...I wasn’t expecting it to be like this…” he chuckled, while rotating his hand a bit to get a better look. "It looks like it's...begging for me…" 
A gratified smile stretched across his lips. He was right! He knew you wanted this just as much as he did! And when he took a look at your face, your frightened yet tantalized expression, the tear stains on your cheeks and the remnants of his semen covering your chin and jaw, he let out a happy breath, knowing he wouldn't be changing his mind anytime soon. 
That sight just made him simply ache. 
“Bella~” he crooned out, the edges of his eyes watery. “I can’t hold back anymore…~” 
The second after that, he plunged himself inside you all too quickly, giving you absolutely no time to think. You had only a split second to come to terms with what was happening before you were impaled by a certain scalding appendage.
All that built-up stimulation from before came to a crash, your jaw dropping as you humiliatingly climaxed around him. Your fingers curled around the sheets as you pushed your hips against him, only to realize he wasn’t even bottomed out yet.
While you managed to stay mostly quiet, even during your orgasm. That couldn’t be said for the young man above you, though. 
For him, it was just too heavenly to resist. You felt so soft and tight, everything he’d hoped it would be and more. A series of strained yet euphoric moans sputtered out of him as he pushed himself to the hilt inside of you, closing his eyes and letting his tears fall down onto your face as he leaned over you. 
He stayed still for a small while, taking in the rapturous feeling before rising up a bit and looking down at your abdomen. “Look, look...we’re finally connected…~” 
Staring up at him with lidded eyes, you silently prayed that he didn’t notice you had--
“Hey,” his voice stayed breathy, as he started to roll his hips against you. “Did...you finish just from me putting it in?”
You covered your face with your hands, crying out in shame quietly.
“Don’t be embarrassed~♡!” Giorno cooed rather loudly, forcibly grabbing your wrists and pushing them back down onto the mattress, and while continuing to ram into you. Drool, tears and sweat still running down your face, you looked down at your pelvis, feeling taunted by the marshy noises being produced. “You feel really good, and so do I--be happy! I love you…!”
He kissed the side of your nose, holding the sides of your head. “I knew you loved me too, that you wanted me just as bad--I’m so happy I’m right, cara…” You couldn’t help but nod slightly in response, anything to make him be a little more gentle. 
“Suh-low...please…” it sounded like your brain was melting, which wasn’t exactly inaccurate. But even if your brain wasn’t melting, it definitely felt like your groin was. The combination of his roughness and his body heat was making your upper legs go numb, all feeling focused on the absolute stirring-up of your insides. 
To him, despite the fact that your internal heat wasn't low in the slightest, compared to his own it felt like you were almost cooling him down--it wasn't just pleasure he was feeling, it was also relief. And he wanted more. 
In order to try and get even deeper inside you, he raised your left leg higher, tilting you onto your side. Tugging you closer, he pressed his lips onto your ankle. 
The new angle made you grit your teeth and squeal, feeling his tip reach your fornix. You extended your arms, partly trying to get him to give you a break and partly wanting to hold his hand for some kind of support.
"You're good...so good...your body was really made for me~" he kept singing your praises while churning his hips, the upper base of his cock continuously pressing into your swollen nub. 
As embarrassing as it was, you could feel another building twist in your gut.
After a bit, he leant over you again, leering at the beet-purple bite marks on your skin. Those and the smears of blood on your skin looked like art of his own making to him. But something was eating away at the back of his mind, a strange instinct that was telling him to do...something…
You watched as he moved his hand closer to your bust, bending all his fingers except for the index and middle. You felt him poke at the soft flesh of your neck for a second, getting a tad confused before…
Wait, what--
Somehow, in some unexplainable way, he pushed his fingertips and into your neck, bypassing your skin without puncturing it. It wasn’t even exactly painful, but incredibly strange and almost frightening. 
Fear in your eyes, you watched the veins in his forearm swell as the chilling feeling that came with getting your blood taken returned. You cried out, tears falling while you put your own hands on the one that was drinking from your throat. 
For him, he could feel your blood flowing into his veins directly, even being able to taste the lovely sweet flavor. He picked up a severe pace once again, mercilessly ravaging both halves of your body. 
Despite his roughness, there was nothing but love in his glazed green eyes. 
I'm...getting my blood taken...while being fucked...♡
A small broken smile appeared on your lips. To think that such an amazing man was indulging in you in this way...it made you wonder why you ever tried to get away in the first place. 
"Do you like this?" He asked, dipping his fingertips even deeper into your neck. "That's really perverted...♡"
The second after he said that prodding comment, you felt yourself tremble as the tugging feeling in your belly burst, cumming around him once again. Your legs stiffened and seized up uncontrollably as you moaned out helplessly. 
After your second orgasm, the ever-growing exhaustion began to take a toll on you. You hadn't slept in over 32 hours, after all. Foolishly thinking it was finally over, you turned your body onto your stomach, sighing into the soft pillow after you felt him pull out both his digits and his cock. 
This really happened, didn't it? Was your seemingly last thought before you were about to drift off, but that was before you felt your backside get lifted off of the sheets. 
"You're a selfish woman, aren't you? I'm not even done yet and you already want to go to bed? Hm…" You heard the man behind you say before slowly penetrating your raw cunt. "...but I don't mind. I still love you~" he sighed happily. 
"Wow…" he kept talking, even though he knew it was most likely not reaching you. "To think you were really threatening to murder me just a while ago...just look at you now, bella~♡"
You genuinely couldn’t respond to him, you didn’t have the brain power to do so. All you could do was accept him as he began to fuck you once again.
“Ah~” A happy breath left his lips. “You still feel so good…” he rocked his hips and bottomed out easily, pushing your pelvis towards him to keep a sort of rhythm going. “Do you like it from behind, too?”
Before he had entered inside you, you had tried your best to raise your upper body up with your arms, but failed once you felt him inside. Your face dropped onto the pillow, all the sweat and tears surely soaking into the case. 
You felt his soft hands on your upper arms before he raised you up, so his chest was against your back. With his lips right near your ear, he started panting in your ear as he bucked up inside you. 
"I love you...I love you…" he repeated for what felt like the thousandth time today. "And you love me too, right? Right?"
When he didn't head a response, he grew rougher. 
"Say it...say you love me, please, bella…"
"I...I love you, Giorno…!"
You heard him let out a happy sound before kissing your ear. "Yes...yes...I, I love you, I love having sex with you...♡"
It felt like there was static all inside your brain. He let both of you lower back down onto the bed, still ramming his hips in an almost animalistic way. 
"We're gonna do this a lot, alright? I wanna do this with you every day...♡" He kissed at your shoulder before suddenly sinking his incisors into it, quickly creating another puncture he could sup from. 
You couldn’t help but cry, desperately clutching at the surely sweat-soaked sheets. It was unbelievable, but he had created another twisting feeling in your abdomen.
The broken and sane parts of your brain were having a battle, one in disbelief at how spectacularly your plan had failed and how this even came to be in general, while the other was just simply euphoric at the pleasure he was giving you.
“I’m close, tesoro…” he uttered after pulling his fangs from you. “Are...are you gonna finish again? Even though you’re so tired~? You think we’re gonna cum together…?” you gave him no response, looking at how his hands were now on the bed right by yours. 
It went on for a bit more, him continuously drinking your blood while plunging into the deepest part of you. All while your brain was on the very brink of shutting off and traveling into dreamland.
Yet, after a while, he said one more thing. 
“I wanna finish inside you, cara…” He moaned out before kissing the new bruise on your shoulder. “Let’s start a family~♡!” 
That one proposition was enough to jerk you out of your haze and bring you to action.
No. 
“No!”
You balled your hand into a fist and repeatedly pounded at the back of his hand. “No, no~! Take it out, take it out…!”
Even if it was disappointing to hear your refusal, he heeded and slipped himself out just as he started to climax. Your walls clenched around nothing as he whined out, letting his essences spill out and smother the front of your torso. 
He held you tighter than ever as he rode out his orgasm, almost suffocating you with how firmly he was pressing against your diaphragm. You had let out all the air in your lungs when you came for the last time today, the dopamine in your brain hitting the absolute max. 
In your last moments of consciousness, you picked up on him turning you around and letting the last few surges paint your stomach. He inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, and exhaled, as his own brain was also flooded with serotonin. 
A great silence filled the room, apart from the sounds of his breathing. In the quiet, his mind finally came down from the high and he opened his eyes. 
Giorno felt great. It was like all of the excess heat had been emptied from his body, and all the pain and smogginess in his head had disappeared like it was never there. 
“Ah…thank you, cara, that was amazing--” When he looked down at you, he realized. 
“Oh...oh.” It was a little embarrassing, “she’s out cold…” he uttered, putting his fingertips to his lips. 
He was caught a little off guard, before seeing how you had been covered in his substances, as well as all the other fluids he had managed to draw from you. The sight was truly wonderful to him. 
Oh, how he longed to have a camera on him, as disrespectful as it would’ve been. He’d dreamed of this moment for so long...even more since this whole “vampire” debacle began. And now he had experienced it, and it was better than he could’ve ever had fathomed. 
To say he was overjoyed would’ve been an understatement.
Yet, as happy and satisfied as he was, he wanted to let you have your rest. So, after brainstorming a couple “thank-you gifts” and cleaning you up a little bit, he managed to manhandle your sleeping body under the covers. 
Seeing your peaceful, sleeping face, he couldn’t help but smile. 
“I wonder what you’re going to dream about…?” He breathed out before kissing the tip of your nose one last time. 
With nothing else to do, he slipped under the covers as well, holding your gentle, sleeping form. And with you in his arms, in his room, in his home, he finally felt content. It simply couldn’t get better than this.
Thank you, God, for such a wonderful, wonderful day. ♡
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lilaxprinxe · 7 years ago
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@whatifwewereallrobotsindisguise I just received these, would you please explain them to me?
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theworstbob · 7 years ago
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yellin’ at songs, week thirty-nine
Opinions on the songs which debuted on the billboard charts 4 october 1997, 6 october 2007, and 7 october 2017
10.4.1997
24) "The One I Gave My Heart To," by Aaliyah
I agree, '90s R&B. It IS sad when people you love hurt you. I used to think it was good when people you loved made you feel sad, but I've been listening to your arguments for the last few months, and you know what? You're right. People you love should make you feel good! Took a while, but I'm finally coming around to your side.
28) "Criminal," by Fiona Apple
So I'm on vacation from work, and I've been taking this time off to not think about anything and just sorta stare blankly at whatever the screen has to offer, so this is not a song for my current mental state. There's so much to unpack with this song, and I'm just not yet acclimated to thinking about what this song has to offer. I need to get back on that critical thinking horse, but I've been lazy the last couple days, aand like you know how difficult it is to concentrate on anything? Y'all givin' me shit like "I've got to make a play to make my lover stay, so what would an angel say? The devil wants to know," and I gotta try to frame it in some context or another, and meanwhile the Link to the Past rando tournament is right there. I can just turn that back on at any moment. Shit, dude. I'm sorry, Fiona Apple. I'm trying. You caught me at a bad time, but this is still probably the best song I've heard in a hot minute, so you've got that going for ya!
84) "Last Night's Letter," by K-Ci & JoJo
THANK YOU, 1997. This is how the list should've been ordered. Groove these '90s R&B slo jamz up the middle so I can make jokewords and get some practice thinking, THEN throw something with lyrical depth and whatnot at me. This song says "I'll love you always" before we even hit the first chorus. Follow Aaliyah up with this, then give me the country song that's gonna follow, THEN I'll be ready to say something substantive about Fiona Apple. Fiona Apple was a thing, right? Like, she would've pretty much been '97 Lena Dunham? Or would she have been a Woke Twitter Hero? I don't know, and it's too late to ever find out because the list has moved on to a song where two men with nice voices sing about passion and devotion. "I wrote this letter last night." Do you think they wrote "I wrote this letter" in the actual letter? Do you think they repeated the chorus in the actual letter? I hope so!
87) "Valentine," by Martina McBride & Jim Brickman
Imagine going to a hoedown, turning on the local country radio station, and hearing this. I mean, maybe this was a solid play for adult contemporary radio, I dunno who Jim Brickman is but I dobut he goes hard too often, but Tay Tay's "Red" was a #2 country single. It would follow that country would listen to anything Martina McBride, but like just... Every single bro country dude was weaned on songs like this. This was what country music sounded like before "i respect the flag AND the party" bullshit. I've made this point before, but it's worth noting, pop/country? That's a genre with a bizarre evolutionary line!
91) "Please," by The Kinleys
you could tell me these white girls are either sisters or two girls named kinley that happened to meet one day, and i would believe it. this is a song that would've been good enough to make the top 20 back when i only had like ten weeks of '97 to sift through, i would've said "yeah this is basic but it's not 'my baby daddy,'" but it's october and we've listened to so many other things and i've already forgotten what this was. country? sure. country. good job, country girls who probably named their kids Carson and Mackenzie.
95) "Go Away," by Lorrie Morgan
If you are using tumblr, your opinion of Marilyn Monroe has gone through three stages: 1) Marilyn Monroe is the epitome of glamour 2) Marilyn Monroe was basically Paris Hilton, like what did she do even? 3) HELL YEAH, MARILYN MONROE WAS PARIS HILTON. SHE WAS HOT AS HELL AND FUCKED ALL THE TIME. GOALS. This is the hottest country girl jam 1997 has provided, but it opens with some Marilyn Monroe cosplay, and this song is a hot jam in a way where it's like "hell yeah, I'd listen to this again!" and not "let's start a music discussion club to delve into the deeper meanings of this song. When she asks, 'Go away and wait a minute,' what does she mean?" so let's just goof on the video!
10.6.2007
53) "Do it Well," Jennifer Lopez
I heard the annoying Timbalandy intro and thought for sure 2007 was hitting us with more of that Kara DioGuardi. Nope! Ryan Tedder! Still a shitty Timbaland ripoff, that Latin pop jam J. Lo released a few months (and ten years) ago was way more in her wheelhouse than this, but I misidentified the bad songwriter who'd been tasked with wasting these three minutes of my life. Ryan Tedder's been doing things for ten years. I am so glad I'm an unexceptional white man, because it means life will never stop presenting me with opportunities regardless of whether or not I deserve them.
73) "1973," James Blunt
The fact that this song actually debuted at #73 makes me so happy. You have no idea. Like, this song is what you would expect the follow-up to "You're Beautiful" to be, James Blunt is trying desperately to show he has some edge and is also a Deep Thinker who doesn't look at girls and think about whether or not he thinks they're hot, he now tries to figure out a year in which she could have been beautiful. "Girl, you're so hot, you remind me of the year before I was born." Swoon. Such a serious artist, this one. Also: did you guys know three people are credited songwriters on "You're Beautiful?" Also also: there's a song called "2005" which is pretty much about "You're Beautiful?" Oh, James Blunt. I am prepared to fall down this YouTube hole someday, but not today. I have to figure out who Playaz Circle is.
91) "Duffle Bag Boy," Playaz Circle ft./Lil Wayne
Oh, 2 Chainz! That's who this is! Well, here I am, forgetting 2 Chainz existed as an entity before he was 2 Chainz and omitting him from the Decade Dance Club! Anyway, this is a song that presages Lil Wayne's extremely good decision to rebrand as a rock god, and it's, y'know, it's fine. It's an acceptable 2007 rap song, much like "Good Drank" was an acceptable 2017 rap song about half a year ago. I accept that this was ever in my life, and I will move on once I feel this paragraph appears large enough that someone could conceivably mistake this for in-depth analysis. What a large paragraph I wrote with no actual content! We have done good work.
94) "Freaky Gurl," Gucci Mane
Gucci Mane is another of the 35-member Decade Dance Club, and with songs like this, there's no shortage of reasons we've kept him around for so long! The way he only uses one flow so you don't get confused and think you're listening to multiple rappers. Intricate rhymes like in the third verse, where he ends six consecutive lines with "girl." And the way each verse only has eight bars so he can go back to the chorus is so polite, it knows why we came to the song and doesn't wanna screw around or seem indulgent with all those fancy A A A A A A rhyme schemes! Gucci Mane: ten years of greatness. Truly, something whose endurance I understand.
95) "Famous in a Small Town," Miranda Lambert
Miranda Lambert is one of my favorite country artists. I also get squicked out when millionaires sing lines like "Who needs their faces in a magazine?" You are incredibly famous! You don't get to sing this song! You are famous in several big cities! Don't sing songs revelling in mediocrity when you, yourself, are special! Like, Gucci Mane is awful, but at least he doesn't fuck around about the fact he owns a Hummer. He's not like "Don't worry if you can't afford a Hummer, life's not all about glamour!" he's saying, "Hell yeah, I got a Hummer. I fuck inside this big ol' car. You should get a Hummer. They're rad." Gucci Mane is a truth-teller, and we should respect that.
99) "Can't Help but Wait," Trey Songz
so like did they record one person clapping their hands and use that for every single '07 r&b song, or did they record hand claps every time they banged one of these out. i hope they made new hand clap noises for every song, it would make each song feel a little more personal, but i think all the studios just like shared the same hand clapping noise. i wonder whose hands they were that made this noise. this song is boring. why did anyone listen to this. they made this song a thousand times in 1997. seems like a waste of the handclaps.
7 October 2017
2) "rockstar," by Post Malone ft./21 Savage
"i cannot contain lyrical abilities of going so hard." what. why. why. who is this... i'm listening to this and wishing i was listening to a nickelback song. this is how fucking dire this song is. like legitimately. this song bites from nickelback, then has the audacity, the muthafuckin AUDACITY to say, "i can tell you're a lazy-ass aritst." preacher, heal thyself.
66) "Too Much to Ask," by Niall Horan
Niall Horan is a nice boy making nice songs and this is going to be another week where 2017 gives me absolutely nothing to work with, isn't it. I mean, I guess it's fine that Niall Horan is a person making John Mayer songs in a world where garbage like Post Malone rules the day, but why does he have to be John Mayer? Can't we do better than John Mayer? Is this really all we have to look forward to on the weeks that divas are not accompanied by an army of brass instruments, is maybe we're cool with Lorde but mostly the hope someone will sound like John Mayer instead of Calvin Harris? 2017, what ya doin'.
67) "Curve," by Gucci Mane ft./The Weeknd
No, sir, Gucci Mane has not lost a step in the last ten years! He's actually improved: this song is two and a half minutes long. Like, we're minimizing time loss, here. I know nothing good will happen. On some level, Gucci Mane knows he's not creating great, lasting art. Just talk about your dick for two and a half minutes and let me go back about my day.
85) "DNA," by BTS
My favorite was the one with the silver hair with the haunted voice because I think The Goth One is unexplored territory for boy bands and I'm glad that BTS has decided to be pioneers. I'm into this! It's dumb, loud pop music, but after so many months of dumb quiet pop music, I think it's high time we just let some young men dance their hearts out and sing about whatever grand emotion they're singing about, probably love, I don't know, I'm actually not ready to let go of this being a Kendrick cover. This is fun! Pop music should sound like Coke tastes, not how Coke makes you feel. This is a sugary little treat, and I'm glad that I was able to listen to it.
92) "Homemade Dynamite," by Lorde ft./Khalid, Post Malone & SZA
I like the original. I liked Melodrama because it sounded like its own thing, and this just sounds like something I could've gotten from any of the EDM bros. Khalid and Post Malone add their usual nothing, and with SZA, it's the same thing, I'd much rather listen to her on her own thing than her on someone else's thing. I dunno. I think y'all should've listened to this song before they felt like they had to ruin it with Post Malone. Lorde's great! I wish I could figure out why the general public rejected her but embraced Khalid!
Who won the week?
1997 because it had the only song I liked.
Current standings: 1997: 14 2007: 12 2017: 13 Next week: Elton John remakes “Candle in the Wind” for some reason, we insist on summoning old Tay Tay to the phone, and oh goddamnit 2017′s gonna give us Macklemore come on 2017 get it together
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