#join the glorious shit posting

[madridfangirl]

A Weekend in Ibiza - Part 1

(Jude Bellingham blurb)

(Part 2, Part 3, Part 4)

1.3k words. Jude*female reader. Suggestive language in parts.

A/n - When we don't get Jude holiday content, we make shit up

.................................................................................

Ibiza had been your dream destination for as long as you could remember. Sun, clear blue waters, great vibe and amazing food - what more could a girl want.

So when you got a free Friday in the middle of a long work trip in Amsterdam, you lapped up the opportunity to spend three days of glorious July summer on the shores of this paradise. Decided to splurge a little with a fancy resort - 3 years in McKinsey post university had sucked your energy but also given you this wiggle room.

The resort was full to the brim, the staff called it peak summer rush. But you found a cute little spot at the seaside cafe, ordered an unhealthy burger with fries, sipped on sangria and drowned yourself in a novel.

Your peace was short lived. A waiter brought over a glass of some fancy red wine (you couldn’t even pronounce the name), along with a note on a tissue, and pointed in the direction of a large entourage occupying the reserved section of the cafe. 

‘Wanna join us?’

Irritated by the disruption, you adjusted your eyes in the sun to look in the direction the waiter was pointing at.

A man nodded at you, with a half-wave and a half-smile, beckoning you over. A very good-looking, bare-chested man, with an air about him, the kind who knew how hot he was. The irritation you felt was suddenly replaced by mild annoyance. 

You could tell he was famous, with the way the other tables kept looking in their direction. Particularly women. If it weren’t for the staff, some would have jumped the barrier to get to him.

‘Who is he, some supermodel or something?’

‘No ma’am. He’s Jude Bellingham, a very famous footballer.’

The said man was still looking at her, waiting for her move she presumed. 

She scribbled her response below his note & sent it back along with the wine.

‘Sorry - just need some alone time without any spotlight.’

He read the note, which was then snatched away by his mates, who teased him for being turned down. Coz it wasn’t a common occurrence. He usually got what he wanted. Who he wanted. 

Jude returned the playful banter, and jostled to get back the note, reading it again.

Did she not want the spotlight or did she not want him either? It was worth finding out.

The girl had caught his attention when he walked past her table earlier. Her cream lace kaftan, long brown hair, big eyes, caramel skin, purple danglers, and complete indifference to her surroundings - all lent an air of uniqueness & mystery to her. Plus, her turning him down made her more interesting. A challenge, which he relished. The others had been way too easy, especially now.

Meanwhile, you played with the hem of your kaftan, telling yourself you did the right thing. He was a stranger. A fancy footballer for crying out loud (gorgeousness notwithstanding). Plus his entourage icked you out for some reason.

The waiter returned with another note. And a choco fudge brownie. Your favourite.

‘Can I have your number? Promise you won’t regret it.’

You looked up & your eyes met. This time, he flashed a full smile. And you felt your resolve melt in real time. 

The idea of a little harmless conversation with him was oddly thrilling, you couldn’t deny. Plus you were on an international temp number, what’s the worst that could happen? Sangria provided some added liquid courage.

Two mins later, your phone flashed with an unknown number. God, pls don’t let him be dry. 

‘Thanks for the number.’

You could feel his gaze on yourself as you texted back. 

‘Thanks for not sauntering over here & turn all eyes on me.’

Jude chuckled to himself, as his friends looked at him oddly. 

‘Attention is a problem, then?’

‘Attention that would come with you or because of you is the problem.’

Just the thought of being splashed all over tabloids and social media was revolting. You wouldn’t know how to show up for work on Monday. Or face your family. 

‘What if I take that out of the equation?’

‘As in?’

‘We’re moving to a yacht in 10. Will be more private. Join us there?’

He wasn’t wasting any time. Cutting straight to the chase. She should have seen that coming, should have known that a conversation is not what he wanted.

‘Gonna have to pass. Have fun.’

Jude racked his brain at her response. Had he misread the situation in sensing her attraction & interest? 

‘Is there someone else?'

You laughed at the assumption & entitlement oozing out of those words. Did he really think the only reason a girl would say no to him is if she were with someone else? Maybe that’s the reality he lived in, but you weren’t gonna be a part of it. And he was gonna hear it loud and clear.

‘Look, I am not the right person for what you want.’

‘Yeah, and what’s that?’

‘A hook up? A romp around the yacht? Correct me if I am wrong.’

‘You’re not wrong.’

‘Well, there you go.’

‘Not fully right either.’

‘Urmm what?’

‘You are exactly the right person. I want you.’

‘And how did you figure that?’

‘Gimme 15 mins and I will show you how.’

Oh, you should be mad. Bursting with anger at his audacity. And you were. Somewhat. Well, you were trying to be.

You were burning up. Maybe coz the sun was too harsh.

Your hands were trembling. Maybe one too many sangrias. 

You turned in your seat, hiding from his line of sight, and adjusted your hat to further shield your face.

‘I said I don’t want this. Don’t want you.’

‘Lying to me or yourself?’

‘What’s your problem? Jeez why can’t you focus on the woman next to you, who’s been pathetically trying to climb into your lap?’

You regretted the message & the subtext as soon as you hit send. 

‘How about this? Tell me the real reason and I’d leave you alone.’

Not that you owed him any explanation, but he was making you nervous and you wanted to rid yourself of this feeing. Of him. 

‘I don’t do casual sex. Or one night stands. Never done them before. There, happy now?’

You gulped the entire remaining glass of sangria like cold water, as you waited for what you hoped (feared) would be his final response.

‘Appreciate the honesty. Gotta go, the yacht is waiting. And the girl too. Will fuck her now, picturing you.’

The glass dropped from your hand, falling on the table, thankfully not breaking. Gobsmacked, you blinked at the screen, half convinced you had hallucinated the whole thing. Coz how could any of this be real? You sat there in that blank state, lost to a myriad of emotions.

A period of time later (you had completely lost track), the ping from your phone brought you out of your reverie.

You stared at the now familiar number, convinced it was a temp one. No way he was gonna be this brash from his real number.

It was a photo with a caption. After hovering over the notification for a good while, you finally clicked on it.

The photo was of a tiny yacht bed, empty and messy. Completely undone. With the caption below.

‘Going for round 2 soon. Unless you wanna come claim your place.’

You ran to your room, unable to trust yourself in a public setup anymore, and quickly got under a cold shower. To stop your body from burning the way it did. To stop your mind from hyperventilating the way it did.

This boy was trouble. And he wasn’t giving up.

.......................................................................

There may or may not be a Part 2 here, depends on inspiration :)

[melanieph321]

I did write a similar piece after man city got knocked out of Champions league. (Link below)

Could do something different? How about you being a United fan. You lost last years fa cup and he made fun of you. Revenge type ting 😂

NOW THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!! 🙌🔥

Ruben Dias x Reader - Sweet Revenge

+18

* minors get tf out!

Enjoy!

Who knew that Ruben was a sore loser? What a discovery, you thought. Despite Man City's triumph I the Prmeier League, he couldn't quite get over their lost to United in the FA Cup. You'd wake up at night hearing him mutter in his sleep. "At Wembley...Can't believe that they got us at Wembley..."

Eventually, Ruben would roll over and go back to bed, but as his girlfriend, his behavior was a tad concerning. However....as a United fan, what a glorious time to be alive.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

You joined Ruben in the living room. It's where he spent most of his current days post-season, in front of the TV, contemplating his life decisions.

"What?" He hissed, eyeing you like you had just insulted his entire family. Just your presence would spite him these days, knowing damn well that his girlfriend was a Man United fan. If he wasn't madly in love with you, he would have shown you the door right after the Cup final.

"I dunno?" You shrugged. "Losing for once? It hurts, doesn't it?"

"You're having a laugh about it, aren't you? You and your United friends."

"Hey, all I'm saying is that all is fair in love and football."

"All is fair, huh?"

"Yes." You grinned.

"Are you willing to put your words where your mouth is."

"Erm...pardon?" Your eyes widened as Ruben stood from the couch, draping his shirt over his head, tossing it aside.

"Ruben, what are you...."

"City lost, Man United won." He stated. "We had a bet."

"So?"

"So? Wasn't the bet that the winner gets a wish?"

You smiled. "And you really believe that my wish would be for you to fuck me?"

"What was it then?"

Your smile widened, realizing your power. Ruben was really annoyed, wanting for the subject to be dropped as soon as possible so that he could move on with his life and the game. However, you had another plan in mind.

"You've got to be kidding me?" Ruben said after you left the living room only to return with your favorite Manchester United Jersey.

"Unfortunately, not baby, you made me do it last year, I'm making you do it now."

"But I can't wear that. It won't fit me."

You admit that the jersey would be a bit tight on him, considering that it was almost your size. However, it would add to the sweet revenge.

"It's not my fault your team lost. A bet is a bet baby, suit up."

You didn't know what was funnier. Walking hand in hand into your favorite sports bar with Ruben wearing your United jersey, or the fact that the number behind it was the number five, "Maguire." All you know is that it was a torture for Ruben being forced to celebrate with your friends who were all United fans. A torture for him and hilarious for you.

"What. A. Shit. Night." Ruben said, quick to tugg off your shirt once you returned to the apartment.

"Ah, ah, Ruby. Not so fast."

"What do you mean? I did the bet. Now the bet is over."

"You did half the bet. Remember last year?"

He frowned. "What happened last year?"

"Don't make me spell it out for you." You said, hands on your hips. Nevertheless, Ruben looked lost. You had to help him out.

"What did you make me do once we got back from the bar of your choice last year?"

The dent between his brow grew deeper.

"Sex Ruben, we had sex."

His expression mellowed. "Y/N, I never made you have sex with me."

"Not sex, no. I wanted that."

His sigh of relief made you smile.

"What then, what did I make you..." It all came to him in a flash. A terrible flash, once he realized what it meant for him. "No." He shook his head. "Y/N, please, no."

"Oh, yes." You approached him slowly.

Ruben backed away. "Not with the shirt on. Please don't make me wear the shirt during."

You grabbed its collar, pulling him down for a kiss. "I'm sorry, Ruben, a bet is a bet."

You back him up until he slumped down on the couch. You stepped out of your shorts and got on top of him, bending down to kiss him.

"Y/N, please..." He moaned, enjoying the sensation of your lips tracing down his neck. "I'm not gonna be able to...."

"What?" You moved on to kiss his lips, making it harder for him to speak as his hands were on your hips, slowing down your grinding against his cock.

"Y/N." Ruben put a hand to your chest, preventing any more kisses. He looked serious.

"What?" You giggled.

"I won't be able to get hard wearing this shirt. Not with another man's name on my back."

"Wanna bet?"

"I'm serious Y/N, nothing is gonna work unless I take it off."

"Right."

You slid down Ruben's body, centering yourself over his shorts. You draped them down along with his underwear, revealing his slack penis.

"See." Ruben said, popping himself up on his elbows, looking down at his unresponsive dick.

"He just needs a little love." You said, bending down to kiss the tip of it. There was some movement as you did, giving you hope for the future.

"He?" Ruben said.

You looked up to catch his smile.

"You called my penis a he?"

"Is he not?"

"It's not right to assume once gender you know."

You rolled your eyes.

"Yes, I guess my dick is a he."

You inspected it curiously. It was usually alive and well during other times you would meet. Seeing it so small, so sad, was upsetting yet fascinating at the same time.

"I think he needs a name."

"Yeah?"

You nodded. "Something suiting and aspiring."

"How about Roberto?"

"No, that an old man's name."

"Okay, what about..."

"Maguire!"

Ruben's eyes widened in terror.

"That's it, let's name him Maguire. It's very suitable."

"You're out of your mind. I'm not naming my dick after another player, especially not Harry Maguire."

You laughed, watching Ruben's face turn bright red.

"And another thing...."

You yelped as he pushed you off him only to roll over and lay on top of you. "I refuse to fuck my girlfriend wearing a United shirt." He pulled it off of him, tossing it over you heads.

"Well, I guess that means you're not fucking me at all."

"Not so fast."

You made the gesture to rise from the couch. However, Ruben's weight managed to pin you down, his voice deep in your ear. "Are you just gonna leave me like this, rock hard and lonely?"

You gasped, feeling how he suddenly came to life, his erection poking you in the stomach.

"Ruben, I'm not..."

"Yes or no, Y/N...." He whispered against your skin, pressing his soft lips against your naked collarbone bone. "Either you fuck me or you don't, the choice is yours."

"I hate you." You muttered.

He chuckled and resumed to undress you, draping your shirt over your head to reveal your swollen breasts. Ruben took one in his mouth like man deprived of food, sucking on them to a point when they became sore and sensitive to all touch.

It was a sweet revenge while it lasted. At least you had that. Perhaps the plan would have been more effective if you weren't so damn in love.

The End.

[ask-the-royal-absol]

👌 Woo!

(Aro. Pal. You tend to be one of the first to join my streams. And I love that. I love that you take the time to come in and join in. You may be just using the chat function but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate you coming. Your presence is definitely welcome. You certainly have a lot to add and I'm here for it. Fuck, we've had some funny conversations. I appreciate you a lot. Thanks for joining almost every stream.

Art stuff. That glorious topic of art. You just keep on improving with every post, don't you? Like, that's a straight line going diagonally up on the graph of improvement. And everyone can see it too. I guarantee everyone would say so if they had the chance. And you're just going to keep improving. And it's amazing. You're amazing. Just keep going.

And I am astounded by the speed in which you post things. Like fuck, rocket posting. What an inspiration. Honestly, I do love when I get to see one for your posts. It's like, "Yee, Aro is at it again." In an excited, what content awaits me kinda way. It's just so good, you know? So many blogs to keep track of too! Like, holy shit how do you do it? I've got 4 and I can barely do that. I have no idea how many you have now but it's wild to me that you can keep track of that all.

I mean, I think your presence in the ask blog community is definitely there. Rimi has interacted with pretty much everyone at this point, I would imagine? Maybe? She's definitely everywhere that I've seen. That's such a vibe. Like yes, get yourself out there. It really is admirable. You just keep being you. Keep getting Rimi out there and I better see Rimi and Noelle planning their wedding soon. I'm very much aware it's such a bitch to arrange a wedding.)

[littlezorbit]

My Significant Others vs Domestication

Note: This post is just for laughs. I adore all my significant others from my drs. I have shifted to these people and these funny hahas are not a reflection of who they are as people as a whole. Just having a little fun! I also do not actively shift to a few of these drs as of currently, but I love them all the same.

Spencer Charnas: Easily domesticated. 10/10 this man is just happy to be around me and happy for me to be loving him. You’d love him too if you saw the look on this silly little horror guy’s face in the mornings.

Noah Sebastian: Domestication Levels; difficult! This man is a chaotic string bean. It’s not impossible but I do be strugglin’. His choices in food are questionable at best; pizza with marshmallows and chocolate sauce a deep hatred for Subway, and he’ll train his children with marshmallows he keeps in a fanny pack.

James “Bucky” Barnes: Not impossible, but not easy. He’s a grumpy old man who questions everything. Short of giving this 100 year old man a heart attack each day, he loves me though definitely is questioning if he wants to spend the rest of his oddly long life with me.

Cayde-6: Impossible to domesticate. This EXO Vanguard, though he is goofy and spry, the house life is just not for him and to be fair, not for me either! We have a job to do and we love what we do and take pride and the house life isn’t for us.

Simon “Ghost” Riley: Now, I have yet to domesticate this brick wall of a man, but I’m not going to say it is impossible. A difficult task, yes, 1000%. There are a lot of walls you gotta crack through just to see a sliver of life, but it’s there!

Keegan Russ: Much like Simon, he’s gonna be a difficult one, though I often refer to him as the “Diet Ghost” because he definitely has a softer side than Simon and therefore I believe it would be easier to domesticate this blue eyed beauty of a man.

—————————

Note #2: the people down here are either ones I once shifted for and no longer do or are my friends’ significant others who I’ve spent enough time around in drs to just know. Again, all for silly hahas

Loki Laufeyson: Good luck! His ability to be domesticated is mild, he’ll probably humor you for about a decade before he gets bored. Not bored with you, he’ll love you and burn the world down for you if he feels the need, but this leather covered coat rack is burdened with a glorious purpose and being a house husband just isn’t one of them.

Tom Hiddleston: Probably the easiest human to domesticate! This man loves with passion and will do anything to make you happy. House husband status at 1000%. That work-life balance he has that down to a T and you are the main priority every single time.

John Price: Not impossible but extremely difficult. This man yearns for a domestic life, however he has a job to do and it often takes priority. He has a slight issue with feeling the need to protect and protecting is part of his job.

Johnny “Soap” MacTavish: This chaotic bean could be domesticated however he just wants to blow shit up. He’s a goofy man but he might need a little direction. Your household will be utter chaos and that’s okk!

Ricky Armellino: Can’t convince me this man isn’t some Loki variant. He loves kids, but he is chaos incarnate. He loves touring, it’s his job, but he loves being a chaotic little shit and that’s alright! Join him in the chaos, it’ll be easier that way.

Patrick Galante: Domesticate this man immediately. Perfect house wife with a great taste in craft beverages. He is a sweet bean without a single care in the world and an amazing cuddler. 10/10 house wife.

[stele3]

Hi

Sorry to bring up Aaron Bushnell, but I just started thinking about something that happened, regarding him, a while back, and I wasn’t sure who else to go to

So there is this subreddit that I (generally) agree with politically. And a while back, they pinned a post saying that Bushnell was beyond criticism and banned anyone that was… horrified, essentially, saying they were “concern-trolling libs”. And later, one of the mods admitted that this was done intentionally as a way to weed out and boot liberals who claimed to be leftists in the sub because “every leftist sub gets infiltrated by vote blue shills during an election year”

This doesn’t lead to a larger point, I just need to bounce this off someone and know for sure if it’s fucked up or not, because I genuinely don’t know if I’m the one overreacting

No, you're not overreacting. That's some weird, fucked-up shit.

To be clear, I don't have criticisms of Aaron Bushnell. The guy was raised by a notoriously-abusive cult; he was a victim who the system failed to protect or help. I have a fucking MOUNTAIN of criticisms for anyone who valorized his suicide, but he was very clearly mentally unwell and I mostly feel angry on his behalf.

Now, this subreddit sounds incredibly toxic and designed -- either accidentally or intentionally -- to divide the Left rather than uniting it. Anytime you're in a group that tells you to believe XYZ or face ostracization, be very skeptical and consider leaving that group, because that's cult behavior; if that group is full of Leftists who refuse to vote, then be super skeptical. Chances are good that they're either a right-wing psyop trying to discourage leftists from voting or they're actual leftists who have been taken in by other right-wing psyops and now actually believe that they're Winning at politics...by refusing to participate.

People like this will tell you that the only way for progress to be made is through violence, but then will kick out any potential allies for wrongthink. Like, who's going to fight beside them in the glorious revolution? They've alienated everyone who's even close to them on the political spectrum!

I encourage you to find other subreddits to visit...or better yet, try to join a group IRL! Certainly there's no guarantee that they'll be any less crazy, but maybe look up the DSA or other progressive groups in your area. Or hell, maybe you can join one that meets online.

[sea-of-dandelions]

Hiiii hello I saw your tags I'm climbing in here to ask about daisuke and okame ^^

i hold you. my most reliable mewtual. oblig spoilers for the entire series

Daisuke and Okame are two of the five main characters of the book trilogy Shadow of the Fox (written by Julie Kagawa, published 2019-2020)

Okay a little backstory on the plot itself. It's set in a fantasy version of Japan, Iwagoto, and heavily influenced by Japanese mythology. It follows a half-kitsune, Yumeko, and a demonslayer, Kage Tatsumi (and their group of friends that they pick up along the way. Mentioning Reika here. She's the head miko at this one really important shrine I can't remember the name of).

Essentially, there's this scroll that can summon a dragon and make a wish to alter reality every 1000 years or so. And after last time, it's been split up into three(?) pieces, to avoid. like. the possibility of someone being able to make said wish in 1000 years. Tatsumi has been sent by clan (the Kage/Shadow Clan, samurai iirc) to retrieve the pieces, and allies himself with Yumeko, who also wants to protect the pieces.

this is literally the best photo I can find of the map online. i cannot find a good photo of the english map. have fun.

Now. Taiyo Daisuke is a noble of the Sun Clan. Related to the Emperor of Iwagoto. An excellent swordsman. Refined, courteous, cultivated, etc etc etc, but disagrees with nobility's prejudices and way of life. And like. Tartaglia levels of bloodthirst here. iirc he went around Iwagoto as Oni no Mikoto and challenging people to duels for shits and giggles. One of the reasons he joins the group is specifically to fight Tatsumi. Has kinda a "neither of us can die until I get to duel you" relationship w him.

Hino Okame is a ronin. Snarky, sarcastic, annoying, loyal to a fault. Archer, gambler, alcoholic. I think some of his backstory was revealed in book 3 but that was the first book i read and it's been about two years since i've read it. I remember he has an older brother he feels very guilty towards. VERY important though, mentioning he refers to himself as an 'honourless ronin dog' several times throughout the series.

Initially, there's a lot of tension going on between the two. I mean. Nobility and ronin. See the above two paragraphs, their personalities conflict in several ways. It's mentioned several times that Wow nobles are dicks to everyone else. so like. what do you expect. Initially, Okame calls Daisuke by his last name (Taiyo). Eventually we see that Daisuke is Not Like Other Girls Nobles, and treats commoners as equals, even Okame.

HOWEVER there's a scene (in book 2, iirc) where the group is travelling to the Steel Feather temple (somewhere in the mountain range). The Confession Scene. Middle of the night. Daisuke and Okame are talking underneath a tree.

It's pretty blatantly stated that they're star-crossed. With like. The whole social status difference and everything. Okame (and likely several other people) would get killed if someone were to find out the Taiyo nobleman was kissing a ronin. being considered less than human and all. yk how it goes.

But they still kiss. Under the moonlight. Tada.

Unfortunately, since this is third person limited with a POV swap between Yumeko and Tatsumi (and Suki in the third book, who is, for all intents and purposes of this post, irrelevant) and you're just Aware that this private scene is being watched by Yumeko (foxed, thank god, but still).

BUT from this point on, Okame calls Daisuke by his first name. And idk when exactly this starts, but Okame starts referring to Daisuke as a peacock, and to himself as a dog. I think it might've came up in the confession scene

As I mentioned earlier, Daisuke is, well, Daisuke. In addition to wanting to fight Tatsumi, his preferred manner of death is to "die a glorious death in battle". Noting here that while Okame being as brash as he is, gets scared shitless and is very vocal about it.

etc etc their relationship progresses over the course of the series, beta couple to Yumeko and Tatsumi.

Nearing towards the climax of the story, they're going up a mountain (pointing to the map. territorio clan de la luna. moon clan territory.) and they're trying to stop the bbeg from summoning the dragon. They get ambushed halfway, Okame is incapacitated, Daisuke stays behind to fight the oni while Yumeko and Tatsumi continue forward.

Briefly. before i recount this entire chapter. Okame gets fatally wounded, Daisuke ends up having to stab himself to defeat the oni. They bleed out in each other's arms. Fully 1000% cuddling soaked in (mostly) their own blood. And depart to Meido together. And later say their goodbyes to Yumeko together. Daisuke gets his wish to die a glorious death and Okame keeps his promise to stay loyal to Daisuke.

And most importantly, by the end of book 3, Okame's petname for Daisuke was 'peacock'.

[vitanithepure]

Question spam incoming! :D Who did Imogene choose to stand with her at the ceremony (and why)? What did she think of the ceremony/reception? Do you have any headcanons about what sort of outfit she wore? Also, what did she think of the Inquisitor and how did that conversation go?

(sorry for the long post, you are enabling me here, thank youuu T_T)

(also to whoever reads this and somehow slipped through the tags - obvious spoilers for RT :))

The little gremlin would certainly go with Idira and Yrliet just to see the chaos and verbal carnage that would occur, but...she cares for them too much to do it. Imogene felt like putting them in the spotlight like this would also place an enormous mark on them, and the fewer people know of them, the safer they are.

So she went with the tried and true to her status choice: Senechal Abelard Werserian, her most trusted advisor and noble, and Interrogator van Calox as a show of power and to make a statement - she may be new to this, but isn’t some small fish in the pond. (and because she’s insecure like this, but good luck making her admit it!)

And to make Heinrix squirm because I fully believe he would hate being an official presence at events like this and Imogene lives and breathes to make this man’s life hell. (also headcannoning the shit out of that scene, picture this: him bowing in front of her, not breaking eye contact, taking his sweet time and in the background poor Abelard shoots daggers at him, absolutely fuming and just the last shred of decorum stops him from muttering “get a room you two” xD)

(also let me get back to you on the dress headcanon, it needs more consideration, lol)

What did she think of the reception? It. Was. Glorious.

Imogene was in her element. Rubbing shoulders with fellow nobles, joining in on the gossip, flaunting her new elevated status, receiving gifts and (empty) praises? Heaven for her. That was up until Heinrix scared the daylights out of her with his vague “Hey, something terrible will happen tonight! Don’t do anything stupid and it will be fine!”, but jokes on him - she cannot possibly stop herself from doing stupid things, so her reaction was probably:

Way to trigger her buried trauma, smooth job right there, interrogator.

But when she saw the Lord Inquisitor lounging at her desk, Heinrix knocking out her Master of Ceremonies instead of being scared, Imogene instantly snapped into her role and began to do what she always did best - bullshit her way out of a tight spot. Imogene once governed a planet, it's not her first rodeo xD And she made a good impression! At least she hopes so, as she did end the evening with a scarlet signet and a headache. Did not sleep that night at all - too many inquisitors running in her head, for different reasons...

[terraliensvent]

forgot to post this earlier but an anon sent me something in my dms instead of submitting as an ask so:

"I'm honestly disappointed how quickly things blew over. I'm definitely just a lurker but I joined the server and was active in chat when the MYOs and stuff started flooding in, and the fallout was glorious. That was already a week ago and now it's been either radio silence or just dry texts because they're trying to sweep this under the rug. Probably just going to take my leave from the server because for all the perfume they've sprayed this shit still STINKS Not one to hope on somebody's downfall but I'm hoping something happens so the species finally just dies, still strongly of the opinion that the species should've just opened and the mods should've just killed the cash cow but it is what it is I guess, that probably gives away who I am but it doesn't really matter at this point Uhh other than that, fuck Terras, please use yall's creative brain juices to make illegal ones to your hearts' content or something, save your money for something else too"

i love the perfume analogy, and youre so right about how theyre now trying to sweep shit under the rug (AS ALWAYYYS)

[mostspecialgirl]

the flg redesigns could not be going better

meaningless oc rambling and doodles below the cut

recently i’ve found myself slowly latching back onto flg with the thread of hastur sr. and achelo becoming planeswalkers after the main story. i’ve always planned on achelo working under dana in hundred nights, but with the more recent recontextualization of the kailash clan (in regards to the connection of the ancients to nyarlathotep) it’s only right that hastur sr. joins him. as such, now i’m kind of just thinking about everyone again.

since nobody really got to watch or read FLG while Rough Copy and its adaptation were floating around on the net, i can really overwrite whatever i want. chaos galaron, my sweet (deceased) baby is no longer titled Cosmic Devil, but i’ve chosen to have him be “Spacecreep” because if he’s a vintage supervillain, he deserves a name befitting of such. i think his new design was a swing and a home run. i’ve kept what was important about his original design while drawing him closer to nepenth’s (his nephew) redesign. it’s the perfect middle, and is better than the old one by leagues. so good i’m reconsidering killing him off, but that would completely undermine nepenth’s awesome character arc.

i’m thinking of having nepenth initially inheriting the name of spacecreep (like in the original story) but inevitably becoming 'cosmic devil' when he grows into his own.

but speaking of names, i think the name of “TBA” the actual fucking main antagonist of the story, the one i’ve labored over and thought about for literal years of my life, the one who this whole time had simply been named “To Be Announced”….. i think i’m going to give him the hero name of Mankind. it fits for everything his character is! so that is what it shall be! adding the blue to his outfit was a genius move on my part because if you invert it…. you get hastur sr’s yellow

R.I.P THE RED CAPE OF JUSTICE 💔 you will not particularly be missed

mr. “wave king” reaper also got a minor redesign, though, most of his old design isn’t visible here. i think his new face structure suits him well, and helps him deviate from my multitude of skull faced OC’s. also present in this doodle is his salmon wife who has remained completely unchanged. here’s an extra doodle i dont have posted anywhere but here

i’d like to keep his bath robe, though

hastur sr’s redesigning is far from done though. my glorious king in yellow will surely have a multitude of designs to cycle through until he feels just right. not to mention the fact he needs 3 separate designs for “The Worlds Worst Villain”, “The Scholar In Yellow” and “My Shitty Deadbeat Dad They Put In A Big Ass Battery”. maybe even one more for sundown/post-main series. i’ll have a lot to puzzle out with that. i’m thinking about toning down his tentacle motif, and in turn, likely hastur jr’s as well. it’s such an important design to FLG and could change the whole series from here on out. it isn’t set in stone, though. i’ve always been a sucker for hastur jr weaving his tentacles together like muscle fibres to form giant arms and shit. so maybe i’ll let him keep them in some form, maybe in his given power.

he’ll have to keep the tentacle power in some form

bla bla bla i’m tired and there’s not much else i really much else i have to ramble about. i guess i’m glad i can draw achelo now instead of making him have a weird squid head. you’re free now. I’d like to draw him in some more casual clothes though so I can better visualize him as he is in hundred nights. i also have to figure out how i want to visually represent his Archive ability, but seeing as i’ve now read 10000 manhwa with some kind of System Ability, i doubt it’ll be very hard for me.

next time i’ll be sure to redesign nuclear winter. and probably a couple others too, i guess.

[bellarosethefangirl]

COLLEGE WILD BUT IVE BEEN GOOFIN AROUND THE CHARACTER AI WEBSITE AND SHIT AND INTERACTED WITH A FUGO BOT

BASICALLY ITS AN AU WHERE FUGO WANTS TO BETRAY GIOGIO AND FORMS A TEAM OF HIS OWN CONSISTING OF ME, SHIELA E., MURLO AND JOSUKE 4

aND NIW LOOK AT THIS SHIT MAN

GOT ME SOBBING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH FR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭

Gurl this is absolutely amazing 😍😍😍😍❤️!! I’ve heard of some people using websites with the character Ai! This is so interesting and the person who created it did a good job of capturing Fugo! This inspired a Pannacotta Fugo x En snipet.

Fugo x Oc Post

“We Acheived Our Goal” (Pannacotta Fugo x En)

Fugo has strayed away from Passione in favor of creating his own path. His closest allies joined him in such a goal forming a team with Shiela E., Murolo, Jousuke Higashikata, and his one true love En. Turning traitor to Giorno was their only course of action. After befriending Jousuke Higashikata all four mafioso discovered their former boss had lost his way. Giorno grew accomstomed to his mafia life and did what he could to feed his greed for money. He was no longer the respectful boss they once allied themselves with. Don Giovanna also came across his half brothers who joined his familia and helped turned it for the worse. It was Giorno’s relative, Jousuke Higashikata who informed them of Giorno’s true love passing away. While no one knew of the bosses lover passing away they all knew what an affect it would have on the young don.

Their boss simply didn’t care anymore and it was up to them to rise to the top with the help of Jousuke Higashikata. A powerful stand user who want to give the streets back to the people. All four mafioso allied themselves with Jousuke to help him take down Passione and get to Giorno Giovanna. It would be months but they managed to reach their goals and help don Giovanna again. It would be much emotional turmoil especially for Fugo who had been close friends with Giorno for years. En was always there for him. She was by his side from the beginning. They managed to defeat their former boss and help him realize he is still loved despite his fiancé passing away. It was thanks to their help don Giovanna could return to being a glorious man they could look up to again.

Now with his goal taken care of he can focus on himself but more importantly his relationship with En. The kind brunette was now holding hands with him after their date. They walked through Naples and found a remote area with many flowers nearby. Fugo remembered when En asked him to run away from the mafia life. He was as happy as he had ever been ever since leaving the life of a mafioso however there was one more part of his life missing. He reached into his pocket with a case. He got down on one knee offering a beautiful ring along with a romantic promise.

“En without you I wouldn’t be able to achieve all the goals I set out to do. It was thanks to your support I’m standing here with you as the man I am. You’ve helped me achieve so much. It made me realize how much I am in love with you. Will you marry me? I promise to make you the happy and do everything in my power to make your dreams come true.”

[pixiemage]

Hey new Tumblr folks who are joining the site for the very first time! Hi! Howdy! Welcome! :D I have a VERY IMPORTANT request for you:

CHANGE AT LEAST ONE (1) PART OF YOUR PROFILE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

Listen, I admire that some of you want to keep to yourselves and don't want to cultivate a blog of your own. Fantastic. Glorious. You do you, enjoy the pleasures of lurking, bountiful post-perusing be upon ye. But, holy shit, if you don't at least change ONE part of your profile to something that isn't the Default Settings™, you're not gonna have any blogs in your following list, because every single veteran of this website will block and report you on sight.

IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE TO BE A BIG CHANGE

Give yourself a goofy blog title.

Write ONE (1) cheesy fandom quote in your bio.

Change your pfp to something, ANYthing, other than the default colorful geometric icons that come with your Welcome To Tumblr care package.

All I'm asking is that you show us you're human, because we have too much of a history with bots on this hellsite (affectionate), and you're gonna have a bad time here if you start your Tumblr experience by getting auto-blocked by every single one of the new people you just followed for their sweet, sweet content.

If you stick to what your mama gave you when you joined Tumblr, this is a pretty accurate summation of what your experience will be like:

Customize your blog to a slight degree right off the bat, and I guarantee you'll have a better time here overall.

[mareastrorum]

WIP Wednesday: TF&TS (Zoran)

Here is a scene from an early chapter of a longfic I am working on.

Fanfic Summary: Mollymauk Tealeaf survived the encounter with the Iron Shepherds, but a short time later, a spirit had begun hunting him, claiming that he stole his body. This Campaign 2 AU begins with Episode 26 and continues on from there.

This fanfic will be posted on AO3 starting in June or July.

Dogs were better than people, generally, as far as Zoran Kluthidol was concerned. The beasts did not bother with nonsense. People made shit up and complicated things for no good reason. Dogs lived and enjoyed it.

Many years ago, Zoran learned the difference between types of dogs. The most common was a hungry dog. The breed did not matter. Keep them fed and they would do anything. They knew who gave them meals, and they did not have a particular stake in the world. Eventually, they might learn loyalty, though it always started the same. Simple beasts.

But certain breeds were meant for something, and they knew it. A rarer specimen was the hound, a dog that existed to hunt. They did not need to be trained, though it certainly made them more formidable. They could sort the work out on their own, starting with small game as pups, and they just went on chasing more difficult targets. They would stalk prey several times their own size and strength, never backing down. And they would succeed.

Hounds always met the same death: a vicious battle to a bloody end. Nothing less would suit them. It was not glorious, not beautiful, not noble, not heroic.

It was fun.

For years, Zoran had believed that the giants and goliaths were hunters, like hounds, and that the “civilized” races were merely hungry dogs: soft things that had to be goaded or driven to desperation to fight. He thought it was evident in their bodies. Goliaths like him were gray-skinned, hairless, resistant to the cold, built for strength and endurance. Goliaths were meant to thrive in harsh climes, without shelter, without defenses. They were meant to fight.

Of course, the goliath tribes were still efficient. Every member was assigned to work best suited for them. Naturally, Zoran had been a hunter and warrior, and the tattoos on his head, neck, and torso reflected his accomplishments. Even the lowliest member of a tribe was expected to pull their weight in battle. Those who could not were exiled without mercy.

Even so, Zoran’s opinion changed when he left his tribe and eventually joined the Claret Orders to train in blood magic. The Orders taught him how to hunt otherworldly monsters and unnatural abominations, that such things were his prey. There, he met many like himself who sought the Orders because their instinct was to best something greater than themselves. Whether it was to kill, conquer, destroy, or simply to fight, they each thrived as blood hunters. Thus, while hunters were not common, they came in all shapes and colors and broods. They were not a particular race.

But the Orders had a mission, a greater good, a philosophy. Nonsense in pretty wrapping around vile deeds with fanciful writings trying to justify it. Needless complications. Zoran only needed to fight, so he ignored the rest. The elders and leaders could piss off with that brainwashing rubbish, and the Raven Queen could have her way once he kicked the bucket. That worked out for everyone, even if he did have a few “civil disagreements” with the leaders of the Order of the Ghostslayer.

Then Zoran met a yapping, overconfident mutt that imagined himself a hunter. A lanky, nigh-starved brat not even a third of Zoran’s size with a big mouth and hungry eyes. Challenging anyone to spar, a duel, any type of fight they preferred, and losing back to back to back.

Zoran put the kid in his place many a time, and while he was a bitter little shit, he did not quit. After each fight, he got meaner, faster, tougher. He had nasty tricks in addition to what the Orders had taught. Mud in the eyes. Hidden knives. Charms to distract. Improvised weapons. A razor tied to his tail. Deceitful taunts. Always coming up with something new to inflict on his opponents and stealing others’ tactics whenever it suited him. Everything was a weapon, everyone was an opponent, and he’d do anything to win.

Eventually, the little yob’s fangs and claws caught up. After innumerable brawls, Zoran finally lost. They were both cut to tatters, bloodied and broken, but the brat was the last one standing. The smug fucker just smiled, helped Zoran to his feet, and then stumbled off without a word.

Zoran had thought there would be bragging, goading, humiliation, but no. Not a peep. All that yapping gone silent. Barely anyone at the Orders even believed that he had lost.

After a few days, Zoran’s curiosity got the better of him, and he asked the kid’s name:

Lucien.

In the end, Zoran understood. Why delay another hunt just to bark at downed prey?

The two had more brawls, exchanging wins and losses. Neither kept count because that wasn’t the bloody point. The point was the struggle, the exhilaration of challenge and will. Lucien roamed off as soon as each fight ended, eventually wandering back with new tactics to test.

Years went on. Lucien always wanted bigger and riskier hunts, and when there were insufficient leads to pursue, he fought fellow blood hunters while he waited for the Orders to get their shit sorted. He had even arranged some unsanctioned free-for-alls with the like-minded to let loose—and gamble some coin—until some blabbermouth eventually ruined that. Fun, though that hardly pleased the jackasses in charge. Pissed them right the fuck off actually, which amused Zoran to no end.

When Lucien tired of the Orders and sought to carve his own path by forming a mercenary band, Zoran followed. This was a hunter with ambition. He knew the bastard would root out prey far better than the Orders had ever offered, and without all the religious nonsense to go with it.

Several others joined as well: Jurrell, Tyffial, Cree, and Otis. Each of them was just as skilled and ruthless, and they all had disliked the Orders’ bollocks regime. Like the goliath tribes, Lucien had recruited each of them for a particular skill set, so every one of them filled a niche. Zoran only really knew Jurrell at the time, and the rest from a handful of prior hunts, but they all got on fine after a while.

Lucien did not disappoint. He had a knack for sniffing out clients and talking his way into deals. They started small—mostly bodyguarding and thieving—then quickly made a name for themselves as the Tombtakers: experts at delving into monster-infested ruins like Molaesmyr. Big contracts with hazard pay for deadly excursions to find artifacts or to escort researchers.

Things went well for a few years, at least, until Lucien was murdered without warning or a fight by an Archmage of the Cerberus Assembly.

The others weren’t so sure Vess DeRogna had done it on purpose, but what else could it have been? Zoran had seethed at such an unfitting end, and the Tombtakers had been instructed to scatter anyway, so he had undertaken his own work in Rexxentrum in relation to that. He kept in touch with the others, but he had a goal to focus on for two years, and the others had their own paths to tread. Grisly in-house work for the Myriad was not exactly the sort of thing he preferred, but he learned useful skills and started building some connections. He was almost done preparing for the fun part.

Until Cree suddenly Sent a message in the middle of the bloody night that Lucien was back and on a hunt. And the little yob had started without Zoran.

That fucking brat.

So Zoran quickly wrapped up some loose ends in the capital, cashed in some favors to ensure smooth transitions, and made his way down to Zadash in about a week. He’d even beaten Tyffial, who somehow always had her shit together and would normally leave him in the dust for that sort of thing. He met with Cree and Otis in some dive bar in who-the-fuck-knows what section of the city, because Zoran sure as balls didn’t bother committing any of that to memory.

And Lucien was gone already.

“Wot do you mean Lucien died again?” Zoran asked incredulously. “And you’re bringin’ ‘im back again?”

“Otis, just let me explain,” Cree grumbled as she pressed her thumb at the bridge between her eyes.

“Fine, fine,” Otis snickered with a manic grin. “I’m not wrong though.”

Cree glanced about to be sure no one was listening, as did Zoran. Other than the bartender playing solitaire and the goons watching the door from opposite corners, the place was empty. Neither seemed to be paying any attention.

“Lucien’s body has been stolen by something or someone that has inhabited it,” Cree explained quietly. “The Somnovem taught me how to summon Lucien’s spirit from the Astral Sea so that he can hunt it down and kill the thief, and then I resurrect Lucien properly. The thief has joined a mercenary band, eight total, so when we had the opportunity for a surprise attack that put them at a disadvantage before they left town, we took it. It did not go well, and Lucien’s spirit was sent back to the Somnovem. I should be able to call him back within a few days, and once Tyffial is here, we can head after them to Nicodranas.”

Zoran stared, processing most of that. It made sense, if one ignored all the parts about Lucien coming back as a spirit and that someone stole his body. Because how did other people inhabit dead bodies and why would a cleric trained to destroy undead know how to summon a soul back without a body? And what did she mean by spirit?

But that was actually a lot of bloody questions combined into a mess, and Zoran did not want to tear them into manageable pieces and then tread through rubbish and more follow up questions. That would be ridiculous.

So.

“Wot?” Zoran eventually asked.

Otis cackled while Cree buried her face in her palms momentarily. Zoran snorted and downed the rest of his beer, waiting for a proper explanation. Or rather, a confession, given what she probably meant and seemed to avoid saying.

Cree took a deep breath and replied flatly while vaguely looking at Zoran’s face, “I summoned Lucien as a ghost. And I can do it however many times we need to so that we can get his body back.”

Zoran leaned forward, one arm resting on the table, and stared her down. Otis giggled, looking back and forth between the two.

“Yes, I know,” Cree added miserably, looking away with shoulders slouched while she drank her beer.

“So Miss Goodie-Goodie of the group, the former priestess of the Raven Queen, the one wot preached about pursuin’ our destiny and agains’ the evils of undeath, the one wot kep’ tryin’ to persuade the lot of us misfits to be better people—that one turned her oldest pal, a ghostslayer, into a bloody undead ghost,” Zoran pressed with a disbelieving tone. “And you’re gonna do it again.”

Cree’s ears pressed back in agitation, or maybe shame, but she forced an exhale and looked Zoran dead in the eye, “Yes. If that’s what it takes to bring Lucien back, then yes.”

Zoran nodded his head, still chewing on that bit of information. He absentmindedly lifted his empty tankard, inspected it with a frown—watered down piss anyway—and shoved it away on the table before leaning back and rubbing his jaw.

This was not what he had been expecting.

“Gimme a minute,” Zoran rumbled before getting up and walking to the bar. Cree looked like she was about to protest, but she just sighed.

Cree’s claims churned in Zoran’s thoughts as he squeezed past the crowded furniture. He could barely stand up straight in the tiny bar with such a low ceiling, but it made him look all the larger in comparison to the dwarf bartender. He paid the man no mind, slapping a few gold coins down and flashing a token as he walked past: a wooden coin carved with two interconnected, curved five-pointed stars and a ruby embedded in the middle.

“Listen, big guy,” the dwarf drawled, doing his best to sound unimpressed, but the hesitation was there, “that might work with small timers, but this her—”

Zoran stopped, sneered, and turned the token to the other side: a gold crown over a bee nestled on a fanciful purple and yellow flower.

The dwarf huffed in disbelief, looked Zoran over, then nodded and stepped back, “Aye, nevermind. Take yer pick.”

Zoran snorted and continued to the storage room, pocketing his token. He had not spent two years in the capital at Iris Bethelas’s beck and call for a doorman to tell him where he could or could not go. Zadash was either full of rubes or the local boss had everything wrapped around his finger if they were this obvious about the Myriad’s presence in such a shitty bar. Two convenient muscle loitering outside the door, two solo daydrinkers that were not even wasted in plain sight, and a dwarf bartender serving watered down beer from the tap? Bloody idiots. May as well hang up a fucking sign that it was a front. The entrance to the real bar—likely underground if Rexxentrum’s preferred hideouts were anything to go by—was probably somewhere in the back, but hells if he was going to wander that far for a drink.

As Zoran browsed through the subpar options in the storage room, his mind went back to the matter at hand. Cree knew more than any of them what the curse of undeath involved, and she had ranted at them enough for even him to be able to recite some of it. Constant pain, maddening hunger, lost emotions… Was Lucien spared all that because of the Somnovem?

Cree was not an innocent little girl, but she could be naive. Still believed there was such a thing as right and wrong, that the Tombtakers should to be better than those that had done them harm. The tabaxi had a hell of a time reconciling their line of work with that, but to be honest, she had done a decent job steering them when she thought something was important. So if she was really this desperate to get Lucien back, then she must have been out of options.

Zoran spotted a familiar label on a dusty wine bottle hidden on the back of a shelf: a lion carrying a grape vine in its mouth. If it was good enough for his boss to keep it stocked, it would probably be better than the rest of the unfamiliar shit in this store. He grabbed it and headed back, pulling the cork out with the shiv from his belt and taking a drink. (Ah, right, he could get a proper weapon now that he did not have to worry about getting past capital checkpoints; something with spikes?) Fancy ass wine, but at least it did not taste as horrible as the “beer” on tap.

All the while, he thought over the undeath business. It wasn’t quite offense, as Zoran had never really cared for the Matron’s or the Orders’ creeds against necromancy and undeath. The Hunter’s Bane and Ghostslayer initiation had instilled strong instincts to hunt and kill the undead, and that drive was intoxicating, but he recognized that for what it was. Hells, he was a torturer for the boss of the Rexxentrum Myriad for the past few years. He did not shy away from violence or cruelty.

However, that was all either prey or shitty people that Zoran did not know. This was new. This was something he had never even thought of, and it was directly in his path. The only way to avoid dealing with it was to turn away.

A deeply visceral feeling spread through Zoran’s veins that not just one, but several lines had been crossed, and he was now asked to do the same.

And he was not sure whether he wanted to.

Zoran took his seat and another drink of the wine, looking the other two over. Cree seemed to have gathered her nerves. Otis was in a fucking mood, so they were just giggling. He had no doubt both were willing to go along with whatever the Somnovem wanted, but that was because Cree would do anything for Lucien and Otis was mad. If Zoran was joining in, he wanted some clarifications, at least.

“Either of you fel’ the Pattern since Lucien died? Or was a ghost?” Zoran asked curiously. He had missed the feeling, even if Lucien had said it was only a filtered experience for them compared to having all nine eyes. It was almost like a constant adrenaline rush without the exertion, and the unity was as close to religion as Zoran ever got… but in hindsight, he recognized it as strange. As if there was something else in it other than the people it connected. Since it had gone, that thought had stuck in his head like a pebble in his boot whenever he recalled it.

Both Cree and Otis looked at each other and shook their heads. No.

“You said the Somnovem taught you, aye?” Zoran prodded, his voice slower and deliberate as he met Cree’s gaze again. “And that ‘is spirit was sent back to ‘em rather than wherever the fuck they go when people die?”

“Yes,” Cree confirmed.

“They told you to do that even though we could just do this shit ourselves?” Zoran continued with a questioning shrug.

Cree sighed slowly and nodded, “Lucien must kill the thief himself. We may assist.”

“Alright,” Zoran said as he sat upright. “If it’s wot Lucien wants, it’s wot we’ll do. And we’ll sort all the other rubbish once we got ‘im back proper like.”

Away from the Somnovem, Zoran left unsaid as he took another drink, knowing they could not hear his thoughts with dormant eyes. But they were clever, cleverer than him at least, so he knew that they knew. The other two nodded. All three understood, and they had been through enough fuckery to know when not to say certain things aloud. Plenty of fey and fiend hunts had involved acting like dumbasses—or just being dumbasses, to be fair—to lure out prey, and this path seemed similar so far. They were not strangers to the role of live bait, Lucien least of all.

Zoran did not waste his time on boring shit, but that did not mean he was stupid either. They all had their specialties, and his was dominating in combat and soaking up attacks, not strategy or nuance. No point in sticking his nose into such business when others were happy to handle it. It was still plain enough for even him to see that this did not add up.

When all this Eyes of Nine business had started, Zoran had been the skeptical one of the group. Cree had faith and Otis had a patron, so they had both been inclined to buy into the idea of demi-gods choosing a herald and promising rewards. Tyffial trusted Cree’s instincts and Lucien’s cunning, so she went along if they were both on board. Jurrell went where Tyffial walked, so long as there was fun to be had, at least, until she had been executed.

Zoran did not like or trust things that spoke of greater purpose in an abstract sense, so it was fucking weird when Lucien had started spouting that rhetoric because he read a book and had nightmares. It was different than Lucien’s usual schemes. While Zoran had never admitted it to the rest, he had thought Lucien lost his damn mind in Eiselcross right up until Zoran gained his eyes. Then the Tombtakers had all understood. They were connected and on their way to greatness.

But now the Pattern was gone, and that skepticism had slowly built back up.

They had faced enough necromancers and their ilk for Zoran to know that it took powerful magic to catch a soul for only a few hours. What did the Somnovem do to keep a grasp on one across the planes? And sending an undead to kill a ghostslayer was stupid. Why bother when the Tombtakers were better suited to the work? He had no bloody idea. Zoran did not have to be a strategist to realize this was rubbish.

Something was off about all this.

All said, if Lucien was going along with it anyway—even without the Pattern—then he definitely had reason and a plan, and he would maneuver the rest of the Tombtakers if he needed them to do something different than usual. So until Lucien said otherwise, Zoran was game and would act as though it was all proper. No need to bother with the nonsense, at least, not yet.

Besides, how could Zoran turn down a hunt alongside Lucien for his own damn body? That was too new and bizarre to just walk away from, irrespective of the rest.

And knowing Lucien, he would find prey even stranger after that.

[copper-dragon-in-disguise]

For the weird asks 17, 62, and 98

hello! (I accidentally put this into my drafts instead of posting it and I didn't realize for three days, I'm sorry, here's the answers)

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

I have a pair of all black doc martins I got last spring, and I wear them almost every day. I put gay rainbow laces in them.

62. seven characters you relate to?

well, I had a friend once tell me that I was like a less extreme version of Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows, so probably him for one of them. Nico di Angelo from Percy Jackson, Wylan also from Six of Crows, Alex from Land of Stories, and definitely other ones but I cannot for the life of me figure out who and where they're from.

98. favorite historical era?

this is a very very hard question. I love the 4 year period from 1909-1913 where all the horrific accidents that resulted in better regulations and rights happened, but that's just cause the Titanic has been my special interest since I was 9 and the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire joined it not long after. the 1920s in the US is very fun, but I think that's just cause it's when Chicago is set. 1200-1450 is my favorite unit in AP World History, just because of the Mongols. they're quite fun, chapter 4 was my favorite to read, it was so much fun. The entirely of Ancient Egypt is wonderful and glorious (I have been obsessed with it since I was 8. In second grade. The special interest has not left at all. It has only gotten more and more of a special intrest). My dad also recently (I say recently, a year and a half ago) got me into ancient Roman history, and I absolutely love it, they were all idiots, well some of them were a little less idiot, and some of them were absolute jackasses, but it's still very fun. I love all of them, really (except most all of the 20th century, most of it was shit and I don't like it at all) but it's probably ~2550 BCE (when the biggest of the pyramids of giza, the pyramid of khufu, was built) up to about 180 CE, which is the end of the five good emperors of rome and when things really start to go to shit.

[themistressofdolls]

Xenos the cat UNLEASHED Chapter V

Chapter I: https://www.tumblr.com/themistressofdolls/743616576495009792/xenos-the-cat-unleashed

Chapter II: https://themistressofdolls.tumblr.com/post/744437263076917248/xenos-the-cat-unleashed-ii

Chapter III: https://themistressofdolls.tumblr.com/post/747208799126011904/xenos-the-cat-unleashed-chapter-iii

Chapter IV: https://www.tumblr.com/themistressofdolls/748187552796868608/xenos-the-cat-unleashed-chapter-iv

Chapter V

My return to Genshinki

After blowing up hell I returned to Genshinki to do some training since I hadn't visited my friends there in a long time, they where all happy to see me as Udon took me to a huge Japanese food festival and we had great time together.

Reimi Hikari showed up with Marcala as they poured us some saki “I bet you could use some relaxation, that story about hell sounds like quite an intense adventure.” Marcala smiled as I sipped some relaxing saki.

“Nothing to me besides someone had to take care of hell, its an evil realm that hurt a lot of people and now everyone is free from it.” I smiled pouring us all some saki.

There was some airships in the distance and I noticed they had the logo of the third reich on them “I wonder what that's all about.” I pondered.

Explosions shook Steamberg as the airships unleashed a bombardment upon the town “Looks like trouble, I finally remembered what those logos where!” I knew they where bad after using my mind palace.

THEY WHERE NAZIS...the original ones.

We boarded Marcalas broomstick flying into town which was on fire as undead Nazi soldiers where gunning down people in the street for fun “You sick fucks, you're gonna burn!” I shouted drawing the ultima emerald gunblade slicing them apart with a whirlwind slash attack.

Nazi tanks entered the room shooting shells at us which I cut in half then went super using a chain lightning attack to explode all the tanks at once.

On the bridge of the fucking command shit ADOLF HITLER looked down from the windows upon his throne “ZE FINAL ORDER IS READY 100,000 ELITE SHIPS TO INVADE ALL REALMS AND WORLDS AT ONCE! SOON ZA FOURTH REICH SHALL BE READY TO HERALD MY RETURN FROM HELL!” Hitler laughed ordering the attack.

Back on the flaming town we tried to save as many people as we could “Get out of here, go to the youkai forest, you'll be safe there.” Reimi said.

“What is going on, who are these people attacking?” Marcala asked me.

I looked towards her “Somehow, Hitler returned.” I said.

They didn't who Hitler was since Genshinki was an outer realm so they didn't know much about the Earth realms or its history “He was an evil dictator who ran Germany once and killed a lot of people, he was a racist xenophobic prick and must have returned after I destroyed hell therefore its my responsibility to stop him once and for all!” I said going into my omni super form and flying up to his airship.

I got inside the command ship killing 100s of nazi soldiers which was fun then I confronted Hitler on the bridge who was augmented with cyberware “You must be ze one who destroyed hell, I offer you a place by my side, serve ze glorious fourth reich and you shall have power and command.” He smiled which made my fucking stomach turn.

“GO EAT TURDS YOU SCUM BAG PIECE OF NAZI SHIT I'D NEVER JOIN YOU!” I spat in his face and punched him but then he turned on a force field.

“REICH FIELD ONLINE!” He said and fired rockets from his throne as robo Hitlers with machine arms attacked me.

I used my unleashed mode and exploded all the Robo Hitlers then started to punch Hitlers energy field as it shattered and I punched his face so hard it was bits of blood and skull “NIGHT NIGHT BIGOT!” I said ending Hitler.

A voice came on the horn “You foolish catboy, I have many copies of myself you only killed one GOODBYE YOU LITTLE SHIT!” The voice of Hitler laughed as he set the airship to explode.

War returns to England

I woke up at the shrine where Reimi and Udon where healing me “What happened to the nazi fleet?” I asked them.

“They flew into a portal to invade Earth, we tried to stop them but if there is a silver lining here Xenos I guess we should be glad Genshinki is safe.” Reimi sighed.

I got up and entered a healing trance to restore my energy then had a deep think about what to do next “Hitler wants to invade every world, if he takes over Earth then he will keep going.” I was determined to stop him so me and Udon crossed the boundary back to Earth.

The news was on a TV in a TV shop so we decided to watch “England is being attacked by...we are just getting confirmation...ITS THE NAZIS THE ORIGINAL ONES THEY SOMEHOW RETURNED! That's right its not Neo Nazis, or Trump or the Alt right NO ITS THE ORIGINAL GERMAN NATIONAL SOCIALIST ONES LEAD BY HITLER HIMSELF!” The newscaster was panicing on the TV.

“Earth isn't equipped to deal with Hitler, this isn't 1945 he's grown stronger in hell and now he has dark science under his command.” I grimaced thinking of what to do as I used my mind palace to think.

“We need a crack team, let me make some calls.” AND I DID!

Later that night we arrived by the shores of Brighton beach by stealth boat which my PMC friends lent us out, with me was Kazu, Cinos the Hedgehog, Brisket, The Professor and Udon all armed with state of the art weaponry READY TO DO SOME NAZI KILLING, FUCK YEAH!

We snuck into a strange dark temple where nazi wizards where meeting with torches doing some kind of evil ritual while Hitler sat in a throne, in front of him kneeling was Robert Mercer and Dennis Prager “My master, long have we waited for your return. For mans dark urges need a dark master to keep them in line for mans depravity is great and thus needs an evil God to look over him.” Said Dennis Prager in that fucking creeper voice as he kissed Adolf Hitlers ring.

“We have kept the dream alive for decades my dark master, may the great purge begin.” Robert Mercer hissed.

Robert Mercer and Dennis Prager where caught in an epic explosion which destroyed them as I slammed into the ground armed with my new crystal cyber scythe BLACKBANE “This sick display is over!” I pointed the blade forward then spun around killing a fuck ton of nazi bastards then Brisket charged in with duel plasma uzis opening fire on the armored troopers.

Kazu came in the back on a military jeep with Cinos the hedgehog in the back firing the turret as a spray of armor piercing heavy machine gun rounds slammed into the nazi wizards “SUCK ON THAT YOU UGLY OLD FUCKS!” Kazu laughed.

Hitler stood firing a beam of void magic at me which drained my powers “I can't go super, I need to recharge!” I gasped opening fire with my HK assault rifle but he blocked it with his energy field.

“I shall open the reality gate and become one with every universe, my forces will be part of a never ending nazi empire!” Hitler laughed at me

Then Hitler merged with the gateway becoming a dark daemon nazi “My first foundation shall be your blood becoming the first tile of my new palace!” Dark Angel Hitler mocked.

Then a spear of light hit one of his wings “Are you going to say ADOLF FUCKING HITLER OF ALL PEOPLE IS GIVING YOU A HARD TIME? I WON'T LET ANYONE WHO DEFEATED ME MAKE SUCH A DISGRACE OF MY NAME!” Shouted Genos my sister who was wearing a gothic lolita battle dress.

“What the fuck do you want?” I sighed.

She walked over to me with her dark spear “A FUSION LETS KICK THIS NAZI BASTARDS ASS TOGETHER OHOHOHOHOHOHOH!” She laughed as we both went super.

“I hate this idea but the situation calls for us HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!” I shouted powering up.

Genos did the same drawing in her energy as Dark Angel Hitler looked worried “HIIIIIIIIIIIII!” Genos shouted and we merged into one.

I AM GENXIS MOONBLADE! PRINCESS OF DARKLIGHT AND I SHALL PUNISH YOU! I shouted as my flowing dark dress with white frills with glowing silver lines blew in the wind.

I blew my speared gunblade which was made of primastic crystal pointing it at the nazi fucks face “Perish!” I formed beautiful wings of light as I flew upwards slashing Dark Angel Hitler a million times with my level one limit break JUSTICE OF DRAGOONS.

“Mein verdammtes Gesicht, du Arschloch!“ Hitler screamed.

Then I summoned ten million spears of pink light “SUMMONED JUSTICE OF ODIN!“ I shouted firing the spears into his wings as they shattered like glass from the impact of ten million spears.

Pulling energy from across the world “ALL BEINGS OF PURE HEART ALL THOSE THAT LOVE PEACE AND FREEDOM! COME TO ME LET US END THIS THREAT ONCE AND FOR ALL!“ I shouted summoning all the planets energy to form a holy sun attack.

“NO MORE NAZIS! IT'S TIME FOR NAZIS TO DIE IN THE PAST WHERE THEY FOREVER BELONG!“ I shouted firing all the energy of the holy sun bomb into dark energy Hitler as the dark clouds forming his body where consumed by the holy light.

Finally the explosion destoryed him as the weak and frail man impacted with the grounded near death.

I landed on the ground looking down upon him “Please spare me, please.“ He begged for his life but I just aimed my hand firing a barrage of tri fire spells burning him till not even bones remained then just to finish the job I used manga fire magic to destory even the dust.

Hitler was sent to the Yama for judgement who sealed him for eternity in the netherworld where he would be tortured.

Me and Genos unfused looking at each other “This isn't over brother, we shall meet again as enemies.“ She warned me and teleported away.

Hero of the city

I went to city hall for a big ceremony the next day where they gave me a medal for stopping the Nazis not to mention the time I wiped out all of hell which was a pretty big deal “Edgeblade isn't a name for you, no you need a more badass one HOW ABOUT XENOS HELLSLAYER!“ The mayor said AND I LIKED IT!

That night I went back to Tokyo playing some video games with Chass and Brisket having a good time since we needed to relax for a bit.

The Thanksgiving dinner from hell

My mother and father where visiting Japan for the holidays so me and Brisket had to make a huge Japanese meal for them since it was thanksgiving in Tokyo.

“Welcome to Japan, its good to see you all.“ Brisket smiled as they came in.

My dad pointed behind him “Also I brought your brother and sister over so behave.“ He said as Genos and Helios was there standing over me in his cyborg armor and shoulder cannon.

“There better be orange soda here.“ He said in a booming angry voice as he stomped into the living room while Genos was smoking from her cigarette holder wearing a christmas jumper with Cinos the hedgehog on it.

“Don't ask, father made me wear this thing!“ She sighed at me coming inside.

I grumbled going to the kitchen to check on Brisket who was labouring over the oven “Hows the turkey coming along? Looks like trouble arrived but because of the holiday I have to try and avoid fighting with them which is harder than it sounds.“ I whined.

Brisket patted me on the head then smiled “Don't worry it will be great day, just smile and try to get along with your brother and sister.“

In the living room some anime was on TV which I couldn't hear since Genos and Helios where having a stupid debate “I wanted orange soda and our stupid brother only get lemon lime soda in!“ He moaned like a little bitch.

Genos frowned with that smug face of hers “These are pathetic first world problems Helios, try being trapped in the distant past for eons having to live in the cold ruins of a crystal castle after exterminating the magical girl population. Also my only companion there was a sealed eldritch god that could only speak in roars.“ She replied taking a drag from her cigarette holder.

“Yes but I was dead for much of mein childhood and teen years until I was revived as a hulking hunter killer cyborg.“ He said in a mechanical rage voice.

Brisket came out with the turkey and food “Dig in theres enough for everyone.“ She smiled with that smile that could melt hearts.

We ate our food but it was akward since everyone was quiet “So are you still a useless do gooder? With all your power you could rule the world beside me!“ Genos smiled with that fucking smug cat grin.

“I'LL RULE MY FUCKING FIST IN YOUR FACE!“ I shouted at her which annoyed mom since she didn't like swearing.

“No swearing at the dinner table, be nice.“ She said and we both said sorry.

We ate some turkey then watched anime before playing some video games that night but it was all over everyone went home but before she left my sister spoke “Next time we meet I shall bring your end, my worthless brother.“

Yeah right, next time we met I would be her end!

Misinformation wars

I took a plane to America, the TSA tried to stop me so I just gave them the glare scaring them and they didn't fuck with me after that.

Out in the streets of New york through there where riots as people where fighting people, faction vs faction and family vs family “DON'T BELIEVE THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA, HUMANS ARE MADE OF BEANS I READ IT ON THE FAKEBOOK!“ One old guy shouted as he ripped his shirt off and rolled around on the road screaming.

“WE MUST VOTE FOR ADOLF HITLER TO SAVE AMERICAN FREEDOM!“ A random 20 something with stupid fucking sunglasses screamed out.

Two people throwing fire bombs into a building “We must support, Cid!“ The boy said.

His friend punched him “NO WE MUST SUPPORT NORG!“

Everything was on fire “What is this all about? I'm getting fucking tired that people can't be chill for a fucking day on this planet!“ I threw my hands up in the air.

Chass arrived on the scene and I was glad to see someone sane “Chass whats happening here? Why is everyone going insane?“

The armored alien pulled out his cell phone “Its the new Fakebook app from NeoMeta, its spread everywhere flooding the world with fake news.“ He showed me the app which was filled with the most brain dead fake news stories.

“It has to be Mark Roboberg but I destoryed him a long time ago, we need to go to the HQ of NeoMeta to find out the truth before this gets out of control fast.“ I said and we took a taxi to the building which was a high tech corprate HQ.

Inside the building was empty, nothing but supercomputers running “Where are all the staff? This is fucking creepy!“ I shouted.

We got in the lift going for the top floor as the door opened the battle damaged Mark Roboberg was sitting on a chair wearing a bussiness suit.

“WOULD YOU YOU YOU YOU WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CHEEEEESEEEE!“ He said as his body sparked

I took out the silver edge katana going into my combat stance “I destoryed you how did you come back? Its pointless anyway, the empire that built you is long gone!“

He stood up sparking “Why why why why KILL HUMAN! EMAIL NOT FOUND 404...You see with FAKE FUN NEWS dot com I CAN MAKE THEM UNALIVE THEMSELVES for just 9.99 a week P&P BUY THIS QUEENS ROYAL DOG FIGURE 50P plus P&P EMAIL NOW ON MSN DOT COME HAHA! I will become DEATH destoryer of worlds FOR A LOW PRICE TODAY and fuck humanity OUT OF BEING ALIVE with their own hands BECAUSE EVERYONE IS STUPID as seen on free aol internet CD!“ He sparked and smoked as his hand turned into a machine gun and he started staking around the room firing at us.

“CROSS VANGUARD SLASH LIMIT BREAKER!“ I shouted using a four way katana slash to cut him into four pieces as the busted up robot exploded again.

Then from the shadows it was my dark self ZENOS VOIDEDGE who looked fucked up as always with the crystal pandemonium blade “I could never fully repair him but I do not need a figurehead the fake news plan is already underway!“ He laughed.

Chass armed his laser railgun while I took my secondary katana out to duel weld “Why are you trying to ruin the minds of the worlds people?!“ I asked.

“Humans are stupid sheep who can't think for themselves, even the freedom lovers are just as much fools for propoganda! I will destory the notion of truth until they believe in nothing and eat themselves to DEATH!“ He said with a wicked grin.

We crossed blades as our weapons sparked “I won't allow you to watch the world burn UGLY!“ I said swinging the other katana at him as he quickly perried.

Zenos Voidedge jumped onto a pillar and snapped his finger as two robots with spike balls for hands hopped into the room shooting lasers from their eyes at us “I shall deal with these two pests.“ Chass said firing the laser railgun at them.

“ITS BETWEEN YOU AND ME MY EVIL SELF!“ I went into MY PSYCHO FORM and Zenos in response went into his abyss anti super form.

As slashed at each other thousands of times trying to get hits in “XENOS HELLSLAYER YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT EVIL!“ My evil self mocked me.

I focused on joy and friendship going into my holy super form channelling the light of purity into my blades “OMNI JUDGEMENT TYPE FIVE!“ I said unleashing my limit breaking as I slashed at him with every holy blade and he had that OH SHIT face on him as he was slashed over and over then the judgement blade went through his body as he exploded into light being sent to the heavens to be torn asunder for good.

“Nice work, we make a good team.“ Chass said and did a bro shake.

Looking over the rigs of super computers I powered up sending out a burst of tri fire and tri lightning magic attacks forcing all my mana through the god damn fakebook building as the song DMC legacy played “I'M ENDING FAKE NEWS FOR GOOD!“ I said shedding a manly tear as all the super computers went up in flames as the building began to explode.

I was ready to go down with the fakebook building lost in my anger for all the evil that had been done here, when Brisket stood on the balony above “Xenos Hellslayer, you can stop now!“ She cried which snapped me back to reality as I went with her and Chass escaping from the crumbling Fakebook building.

We got out just in fire as the rubble was on fire and Brisket was hugging me “I was so scared I'd never see you again.“ She cried.

I petted her “You know I've survived worse, don't worry about it.“ I smiled looking over the ruins, seemed the city had started to calm down since the fake news had stopped.

I saw a fragment from a ruined super computer which had a golden T logo on it but I didn't know what that meant so I didn't think much of it for now.

Elsewhere a robed man picked up the data left in the ruins “With this we can build a new technocracy run by the elites“ he said unhodding himself IT WAS SAM ALDMAN.

Becoming a scion

After spending the next year relaxing while also doing some training I fell through a rift in space time to another world where magic existed.

I soon learned this was the world of Eorzeio and the three nations of the Eorzeio alliance had been getting invaded BY THE EMPIRE which had gaint robots and magitech soldiers which could make quick work of mages and knights.

Being new to that world I had to build up a reputation first so I became an adventurer doing many quests and clearing dungeons out thats when a white haired man came up to me “The power you have is the aura, you must be a warrior of justice the old texts mentioned one would appear to us one day.“ He told me.

“What is a warrior of justice and who are you?!!“ I wanted to know.

He grinned “I am Tanchad a high up member of the Scions of the seven Twilight we defend the world from the summoned gods as well as the empires invasions, consider joining up with us Xenos Hellslayer.“

We went to the scions base in the Gobrus desert where I met the other remembers one of which was a catgirl demi human like me, I was surprised to meet one of my own kind in this other world “We have data that a summoned god has appeared in the Elven wood, please Xenos if you could stop it.“ Millia begged me so I went there.

The gaint beast ODUS appeared and used his magic to enslave a bunch of elves “They obey me forever but your aura protects you I GUESS DEATH IS ALL YOU WILL GET FROM ME!“ The false god hissed at me drawing four gaint swords.

I went super form level two and cleved him in half with one attack from the Crystal Kata gunblade as the god was unsummoned.

However those cursed under his power where enslaved forever so I used cure of moons magic to undo the mind control “Thank you Xenos you are a true hero.“ They said.

Then a masked man in dark robes floated above “So you are the pathetic warrior of justice, enjoy your last hurrah for it will be your final one before death comes to time hahahahaha!“ He said and faded into a dark cloud.

The threat of SIGMA WEAPON

I did a lot of missions for the scions over the next year even building a reputation of fame across the three city states due to my deeds.

The empire got more bold as they tried to invade more countries so I went to the 15th wood to get some information when a cult had summoned another dark god this time THE WIND GODDESS HELLINA “I will eat and feed upon the lowly humans who do not obey my will!“ The harpy shouted as her brainwashed slaves licked her talons which was fucking sick.

“You'll pay for demeaning the minds of mortals!“ I warned her as I went into my Lunar super form and blasted her apart with the Hyclonius beam.

Then rockets hit as imperial walker mechs showed up along with their general the Legatus Garthus Xedius Ceaser “Xenos Hellslayer you have magic which makes you a threat to mortal men, you are proof of the noble ideals I hold to destory magic itself and sunder all gods!“ He said with a dark lord voice due to his machine gas mask.

A gaint mecha like a dragon came out of the ground firing beam missles killing four gods at once then consuming their power “This is what I have seeked for many years THE SIGMA WEAPON and with it the empire shall dominant all nations and destory magic!“ Gathus said.

I pointed my gunblade at him “I'VE DESTORYED AND PILOTED COUNTLESS MECHAS, GUNSUITS AND ADAMUS ROBOTS! THIS HUNK OF HARDWARE IS NOTHING TO ME!“ I laughed in his face.

Then that masked man floated in the air “Yesssss with Sigma weapon you will become truly the most powerful general in all the lands.“

“You know that guy is shady and just using you right?“ I pointed out but the General ignored me.

Garthus boared the sigma weapon “No Landradelta offers me power so he is good!“ He said and flew away in the machine to plan his final invasion.

Back at the desert base I talked to Millia and Tanchad “Who the fuck are these masked robe guys who keep messing with dark powers? You better start explaining because I am getting pissed off!“ I shouted.

Millia sat down taking out a grimoire of lost history “They are the Aeonians a council of immortals that have caused horrfic events to happen in the worlds we call the shards, your Earth is one of these shards along with Parabus and more. They manpulate villains and those with a desire to power to help them cause apocalypse chain events for their evil god.“

Everything fell into place, the robo empire, Eron Monks company, the Satanic cult that birthed my evil self THE AEONIANS WHERE BEHIND IT ALL PUPPET MASTERING THE DAMN THING OVER ALL THESE YEARS!

Operation SIGMA DOWN!

Millia gathered the leaders of the three nations as we began our plan to fight back “As you can understand Garthus has threatened to use the Sigma weapons nuclear flare beam to wipe us off the map but I believe if we join him we can make a lot of money.“ Said Lord Lodito

The rich Lolofall which was a small race all nodded and agreed so I picked Lord Lodito up and punched him out a window and he died “If anyone thinks of defecting to the empire I will tear your limbs off one by one!“ I threatened and they all gulped getting in line.

All the leaders agreed signing a new treaty to restore the alliance as we gathered our troops and airships to raid the Castdirudum where Garthus was planning to activate the Sigma weapon and enslave the world under the empire.

We paradropped into the base fighting an army of magitech walkers and magigolem mechs which went down easily with my blade.

“Kill the savages!“ Said a legate and I blasted him.

I went into super demi human level 3 firing off a beam of Quad Omega which killed thousands of imperial soldiers easily “Storm the gates!“ I ordered as the scions and allies charged forward breaking through the techno interior of the base.

I went inside checking the computers when Garthus was behind me with his own gunblade “Tell me Xenos Hellslayer warrior of justice, for why do you fight? Is it for false gods? For all the villains that crossed you? Why must we be foes? Together we can destory the idols and greedy villains to bring an age of order under the empire!“ He gave a speech.

I drew my gunblade IRON JUSTICE taunting him “I would never betray the scions to join the empire, besides nothing good has come out of countries called empires.“ I logiced at him.

“Silence!“ He said as we where moving on a cargo elivator and he attacked our party as we crossed gunblades.

But I went into my Crystal super form and slashed at him as he went flying through the control panal “such power...“

He tried to go super as his armor turned gold but I just kneed him in the stomach as he fell over in pain holding his knee “Ahhhh!“ He moaned like a bitch.

A dark cloud appeared over the Sigma weapon and it was that bastard Landradelta “You where weak Garthus what a pity it seems I shall need to activate the weapon myself and bring the 7th apocalypse chain, very well.“ He said teleporting into the cockpit as the weapon activated.

The entire facility exploded into fire and hell as the machine activating spraying fire, magic, missle rockets, death and spikes “THIS IS CHAOS I NEED ROOM TO GET CLOSE TO ATTACK!“ I shouted out so Leena the cat demi human of the scions used her magic to sheild me.

“You have a window, take the shot Xenos warrior of justice!“ She cried out AND I DID!

I WENT INTO MY FINAL HAZARD FORM glowing red fury and gold AS LIVE AND LEARN FATE MIX PLAYED.

“What bullshit is this? I bet my wife never had to put up with this crap!“ Landradelta cursed opening fire with everything as I dodged easily then got close summoning THE FINAL FURY DAI KATANA then USING LIMIT BREAKER X7 FINAL CROSS!

I slashed in circles, sliced then used the up down slam as the impacts from each slash caused a sonic boom that shook the planet.

Then to finish off the Sigma weapon I summoned twenty million golden mana spears bombarding the machine as it was consumed in the fury.

We stood in the burning wreak everything around us on fire as Landradelta teleported out of the junked machine with tranquil fury behind the mask “The Aeonians will never be defeated, our goal is a rightous one and this night I shall spill your blood for delaying our plans!“ He pointed his clawed gauntlet at me.

The Aeonian fired balls of darkness at me which I dodged “I bring down the fury of creation upon you PERISH!“ He cursed summoning the rains of void which burned me as they came down upon me so I forced all my ki and mana into a barrier as the cursed rain sprayed into it like mini gun bullets.

I focused switching over to my holy super form as I fired the barrier then cast a blastwave of pure light “LUMINARE!“ I shouted as the light consumed Landradelta.

“Aggggggg!“ He screamed consumed by the light.

After stopping the threat we sent back to the desert captial to have a grand feast with all our friends which became a fond memory of mine but as I ate my chicken dinner and wine I couldn't help but think that the empire was still a threat as I looked out the balony that night from the palace towards the moonlight “I will take the emperor down myself along with the Aeonians.“ I swore.

The church and the light

I had spent around three years in Eorzeio and did tons of training between adventures to get even stronger thats when we had a new quest to go to the holy kingdom of Ishmon which was lead by some kind of pope and I hated popes because of my experences with Ivan Baconman years ago who posed as one to get the human race to kill themselves.

“We need to be diplomatic, I hate the church too but lets keep out of trouble alright?“ Leena smiled and we took the airship to Ishmon which was filled with snow and ice.

After we landed we where ordered to visit the holy see which was a golden crystal church which sickened me because anyone outside of the nobility was poor but the religions had the money to build all this such hypocracy “Ahhh you came, welcome I am pope Leviticus welcome, you are welcome in our great city...so long as you are not the gays...“ He whispered under his breath and I wanted to punch his ugly face but Leena hushed me and held my arm.

“We are here to investgate Aeonian activity your grace.“ Leena said calmly.

That was when an Aeonian in white with a gold mask floated behind him “It is true we made a deal with the Aeonians to make our nation prosperous, they mean no harm their intentions here are good.“

The white Aeonian floated towards me “I am Elidon leader of the Aeonians, we shall see more of each other soon.“ He said in an emotionless voice that lacked emotion.

I met some knights who went on a quest with me the iceila ruins to the north where I found the lost swords JUSTICE, HOLY AND FREEDOM “These are legendary weapons.“ Said the knight commander and I made them float around me as they fused into the TRI-TETSU my new sword which had to the power to kill not just demons but also angels.

After we returned to Ishmon we suddenly got arrested “You have commited heresy, by order of the pope you will be burned at the stake!“ Said the inquisators of the church.

I powered up and killed them with the Tri-Tetsu “I better go rescue the others before the church has them killed!“ I said and rushed to the holy see.

Arriving at the church I killed every knight and inquisator that got in my way “WHERE ARE FRIENDS?!“ I screamed in fury because if those BASTARDS LAID A HAND ON THEM THEN THEY ARE DEAD!

I freed Millia and Tanchad from their cells “They are taking the airship to the floating ruins, hurry!“ Tanchad said

Rushing to the airship dock I saw Leena there “Xenos you came, I knew you loved me and...“ Before she finished Pope Leviticus stabbed her through the chest and walked away to his airship.

“She was Bi sexual and you know the holy sees stance on that kind of behavior.“ He grinned flying away on the church airship as I held Leena in my arms angry that I had to bury her.

I shed a tear looking at her “Xenos the last three years have been the best of my life.“ She smiled kissing me then closed her eyes as she passed on.

“THE ONE WHO DID THIS WILL PAY DEARLY, BECAUSE I LOVED HER?“ I cried so loud that it would shake the heavens and the stained glass church windows smashed as white feathers fell from above.

MY ONE MAN WAR AGAINST THE HOLY SEE

I put my knight jacket on grabbing my blades and steam assault guns “I'm going to the floating ruins, nobody is stopping me!“ I said.

“Xenos its suicide the church has their entire army there plus theres hoards of robots from the lost era guarding the place.“ Millia warned me.

I didn't care as I put my sword on my back “I am going to WIPE OUT THEIR ENTIRE RELIGION!“ I said getting on my personal airship as I went to war.

I smashed the airship into the floating ruins cutting down hoards of old robots and inquisators “My blood rage makes me ferial beware of that monster I become!“ I told them as I stabbed and slashed at endless rows of knights in my way

A high preist tried to fight me as he pointed a bible in my face “Wicked devil child God hates you and you will go to the pit of eternal lava!“ He threatened while shaking because he was shit scared of me so I grabbed the bible off him and started smashing his face with it over and over until nothing was left of his skull.

After killing over 6000 robots I made it to the central lab of the ruins which once belonged to the Algomist civilization “So you have come, I shall have to exterminate the heretic myself.“ swore Pope Leviticus as him and his royal knights merged with the holy emeralds becoming angelic grand knights of the order.

They tried to attack me summoning pillars of light and circles of runes which I dodged going into my Lunar super form.

“When I am done here I shall use the power of the holy emeralds to make the minds of every being religious.“ The pope said.

I charged up a ray of void smashing into the pillar of light as our beams clashed “You can't force people to have faith, you're nothing more than another wannabie dictator using religion to control stupid people!“ I screamed at him putting all my force into the attack as the beam consumed him and his knights.

He screamed as he was destoryed and the Holy Emeralds fell to the ground so I collected them.

Elidon came out of a dark cloud floating in midair along with Landradelta “We have other plans but we will need to do away with you first!“ Landradelta said opening a portal into the void as I was pulled in.

My escape from the void

I was in the darkness of the void as I flew through it killing light eaters and other evil creatures that resided there. After a few days I found a weak point using my holy super form to crack it going through as I fell through the void landing back on Earth.

Been a while since I was last at Earth but in a way it was kind of nice to be back.

WARZONE AI

Brisket phoned me up and said someone kind of fucked up computer program was stealing the artworks he put on the internet “I'll find out who is doing this DELIMB THEM!“ I swore

It turned out this was happening everyone was new generative AI programs where mass stealing art and making shitty knock off bootlegs “Welcome to sludge channel you will enjoy the sludge forever“ said a tv and the shows where crap and made by crappy ai.

Every tv channel was showing these things “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? ITS BAD!“ I said and went to the hq of openair AI the company building these machines.

“WHO ARE YOU TO COME IN?!“ Shouted a receptionist but I just killed him and went upstairs where the boss SAM ALDMAN was waiting for me.

“so you have come to kill me like you did robotberg but I will not go down easily my company loves me and i will bend this world to the new order“ sam aldman laughed snapping his finger as holograms came on and 3D printers began to generate a person.

“SLUDGE GPT SHALL CREATE A FORCE TO END YOU FOR GOOD PEST!“ Sam aldman said as a fucked up clone of me with 15 fingers and weird fuckings was there.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS UGLY ASSHOLE ALL ABOUT?!“ i pointed.

The vile looking copy took out a mangled blade “THIS IS MY NEW AI GENERATED XENOS HELLSLAYER COPY!“ sam laughed ordering it to attack me but I killed it in one hit because it was such a shit version of me.

“I put the work in to get this strong thats why your copy failed.“ I told him as I went super and blew him out a window with a Rezaku blast.

Three men in suits came in lead by a sweaty plastic looking guy “So Sam Aldman has failed us but I Peter Theel shall be your down fall!“ he said in a nervous fucking voice.

“I am getting fucked off with stupid CEOs trying to take me out now.“ I sighed.

Peter Theel summoned 100 AI generated Xenos clones to surround me “You see Xenos the world needs the technocratic council! The stupid moronic lower classes need smart billionaires to run there stupid animal lives for them, we will get rid of governments so we can rule over them like kings and AI will be our weapon.“ he said as the clones attacked.

I used ninja magic to cut them all apart like paper “The other CEOs at least put up a better fight than you idiot!“ I said and he was scared shitless.

“No AI was meant to do everything this can not be!“ He said AS I WENT INTO MY PSYCHO FORM AND DID UNSPEAKABLE TORTURE TO HIM BEFORE DESTORYING HIM FOR GOOD.

With that done I flew into the sky and used a Ki blast to destory the OpenAir AI building ending AI art forever.

[grison-in-space]

Yyyyyyyyyup. "Voting isn't harm reduction because harm reduction is only for addiction" is sort of thing I can see people saying for exactly two reasons:

1. They don't know what harm reduction actually is. CF: every person I've seen arguing that the metaphor is a bad one because in some cases interventions might make things worse. Yes. That is why it is called "harm reduction" and not "harm abolition." Because sometimes there is nothing that you can do to stop all harm, because people are complicated and sometimes fucked up and sometimes prone to bad decisions, and it turns out you can't actually force everyone to do what you think is the right thing. What you do instead is look for achievable ways to reduce the permanent impacts and damage incurred by the existing problem.

2. They really want people to stop making the harm reduction metaphor because it makes them uncomfortable. Appropriating the language of cultural appropriation is a convenient and fairly effective way to reduce its use in lefty circles—especially in circles that also don't know what harm reduction actually is. Leftists are not in the slightest immune to feeling uncomfortable about something and reaching automatically for some reason it has to be bad actually; that's a standard human thing. We like to come up with cognitive reasons that fit our values to explain our emotions to ourselves. Sorry.

Of course, plenty of people appear to fit into Group 1 and Group 2 at once. They ain't mutually exclusive.

The thing about the "voting is harm reduction" metaphor is that it analogizes leftists who won't vote to punitive shitheels like Mike Pence arguing that the AIDS that comes from needle sharing is actually the big punishment that queers and addicts need to act right and quit being so immoral. This is very uncomfortable for many people who think that if they don't vote they don't have to admit that they too are responsible for bad decisions made by the country's leadership, so they look for reasons the metaphor is bad. They want to continue justifying their belief that the American people deserve AIDS so they'll come to Jesus like ol' Daddy Falwell said.

Oh, sorry, I got my notes confused. They want to justify their belief that the American people deserve incompetent and malignant leadership so they'll come to the Glorious Revolution like Jill Stein and Cornel West said. My mistake!

Too bad the metaphor ain't bad. If you are threatening to make the situation worse so you can bring down the Glorious Revolution on everyone and trying to convince other people to join you, you are just as bad as War on Drugs punishment-wielding preachers trying to wish AIDS on people. If you can't vote or you don't care, that's your business. You don't have to do everything at once, and maybe all your resources are tied up in survival. But advocating that people who want the world to be better abstain from voting and participating in the political process? Are you shitting me?

If the shoe fits, it fits, cupcake. And I have yet to see a single fucking person, either in the original whining posts that spurred this one or in responses, who doesn't fit neatly into either Category 1 or Category 2, or more often both at once.

Fucking hell.

from the number of asinine complaints about how "voting is NOT a form of harm reduction" because harm reduction is for ADDICTS! ONLY! I'm seeing around... all coming from OP blogs I don't recognize and which otherwise don't have much presence... well, that coordination alongside the timing of US politics sure feels like the Russian troll bots agitating again. (Yes, they absolutely infested Tumblr; I think @ms-demeanor had a great post about what the bots looked and felt like somewhere that I will have to try and track down tomorrow.)

The thing is, if you actually do know harm reduction well, the complaint makes no sense. It's not as if the origin of harm reduction is a secret or especially hard to find out more about. I am not exactly an expert in the field: I have a educated layperson's interest in public health and infectious disease, I'm a queer feminist of a certain age and therefore have a certain degree of familiarity with AIDS-driven safer sex campaigns, and I'm interested in disability history and self advocacy (and I would in fact clarify harm reduction as a philosophy under this umbrella). So I have about twenty years of experience with harm reduction as a philosophy basically by existing in communities whose history is intertwined with harm reduction, which means I know it well from many different angles, and I know how the story of the philosophy is generally taught.

See, this is a story that starts, as so many stories do, in the 1980s with something monstrous President Reagan was doing. In this case, it was the AIDS epidemic, and Reagan refusing to devote any money or time to what eventually became called AIDS (rather than the original GRIDS, which came with its own baked in homophobia). Knowing themselves abandoned by society in this as in all things, and watching as friends and loved ones died in droves, queers and addicts are two communities who see that they are the only resources that they collectively have to save each other's lives. Queers know that sex, even casual sex, is an important part of people's lives and culture... and people aren't going to stop doing it even if there's a disease, so how can it happen safely? Condoms. Condoms every time, freely available, easy and shameless, shower them on people in the street if you have to. (And other things: this is the origin of the concept of "fluid bonding", for example... both of which were concepts that were immediately adopted in response to COVID, like outdoor socially distsnced greetings and masks and "bubbles." That wasn't an accident. Normalizing sexual health tests and seeing hard results on paper before sex was a thing, too.)

Addicts, too, knew that using was going to happen no matter how earnestly people tried to stop. If it was that easy, addiction wouldn't exist. So: how do you make using safer for longer? If you could stop someone getting HIV before they could bring themselves to get clean, that's a whole life right there. If you could stop someone overdosing once, twice, a dozen times, that's more time you're buying them to claw themselves out of addiction and into a better place. Addicts see, right, needle sharing is getting the diseases spread, so cut down on needle sharing. Well, needles aren't easy to get hold of. Their supply is controlled because people who aren't prescribed needles are theoretically junkies, so taking the needles away makes it harder to use, right— and no one is complicit, and also you see fewer discarded needles lying around where they're unsanitary and unsafe, right? Except that people want to do a buddy a good turn, so they share if there's no other option, and they'll keep a needle going until it's literally too blunt to keep using if need be. So fighting needle sharing means making it easier to get needles to shoot up with: finding a place to discard used ones and get as many fresh ones as you need to use safely!

Making free needles available to junkies and free condoms for the bathhouses was not a popular solution with politicians, for perhaps obvious reasons. Nor was routine testing of the blood supply, because that cost money too. But these things work to stop the spread of disease. Thus the principle of harm reduction: policy interventions in response to communities that frequently engage in risky behavior should focus on whatever reduces aggregate harm by reducing the risk rather than by trying to reduce the behavior. The homos and junkies say look, all your societal judgement in the world hasn't stopped us being homos and junkies yet. You ain't going to look after us? We'll look after our own. And this is the form that takes. Not increasing the pressure to act like people who aren't is, but making it safer to be the people we are while we try to be the happiest versions of ourselves. Even if that means being morally complicit in a whole lot of casual sex and drug abuse.

The thing is, harm reduction is a philosophy rooted in the defiance of people who knew that their society thought they deserved to die painfully, young, invisible and alone. This is not the kind of thing that people come up with and get mad if you adapt it and share it, especially if you tell the story of where it came from. And importantly, harm reduction is not purely the child of addiction: that philosophy, from the get go, was cooked up to apply both to substance abuse and casual sex. It didn't just spread from addiction care; it was born straddling addiction care and queer & feminist health care.

So it doesn't make sense to see actual activists who know harm reduction well complaining that this is a term exhibiting semantic drift when we talk about voting as harm reduction. It's actually a good metaphor: you're reducing the overall risk of the worst case scenario metaphors by voting Democrat, at least until future votes can install a system where multiple parties can flourish on the political scheme. (Democrats and Republicans are essentially coalitions of a pack of arguing factions anyway, and those factions are essentially what would be classed elsewhere as a party in its own right; the US essentially just lumps political granularity rather than splitting it in our political system.) And anyone who understands harm reduction itself knows that.

So it's this wildly inorganic complaint being voiced repeatedly by different sources. Sounds like a pretty good flag for a potential psyop to me.

If you want to learn more about harm reduction and its history, especially from an addiction perspective, I cannot recommend Maia Szalavitz's Undoing Drugs: How Harm Reduction is Changing the Future of Drugs and Addiction (2022) highly enough. Szalavitz has a history of addiction of her own as well as being a clear and accessible writer with an excellent grasp of neuroscience and history. I have a lot of respect for her work.

[noloveforned]

no love for ned will be wrapping up a surprisingly warm week in lexington on wlur tonight from 8pm until midnight. join us live or catch up with last week's show on mixcloud when you've got a few minutes.

no love for ned on wlur – november 3rd, 2023 from 8-10pm

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