#johnny seo x ftm reader

[vergilthelibrarian]

JohnnyxFTM!Reader

Have some domestic boyfriend Johnny ^^

Your eyes were glued on to Johnny’s bare back as he poured water into the coffee maker.

You bit your bottom lip, watching his back muscles flex as he moved about in his own world, putting the cup he used to filled the coffee machine onto the kitchen rack.

He went to the cabinet, opened it and reached up, grabbing the glass of fine coffee, your eyes going to his muscular arm.

He closed the cabinet and walked back to the coffee machine, putting some coffee into the opening and closed it. He pressed the button and the machine came to life.

Turning around, Johnny finally met your eyes and he squinted his eyes suspiciously at you.

“Were you watching me the whole time?” he asked and you nodded.

“Yes I was.” you smirked.

He shook his head as he walked to the kitchen island, his forearms laying on the cool surface as he said, “You know I’m not a piece of meat right?” he smirked right back leaning close to your face.

You put your hand on your chest, your eyes widening.

“So it’s okay for you to always look at me like I’m some type of prey but yet I can’t do the same to you?” you asked playfully.

Johnny put his head in one of his hands and smiled.

“Yes actually.”

You shook your head as you took a sip of your orange juice.

“You are truly a selfish man John.” you rolled your eyes, quickly laughing.

You knew Johnny was just playing around with you.

In fact he even told you that the reason why he never wore shirts much whenever he was at your apartment was just so you could gawk at his body because he liked the attention.

He liked your attention.

Johnny wished though that you felt confident in your body though but he definitely understood why is a bit hard for you.

You have gotten top surgery in the beginning of the year and though he saw how comfortable you now where with having a flat chest, he now saw yourself grimacing about your scars.

Your scars weren’t minimal.

They were big and obvious and you admitted to Johnny one time how it made you uncomfortable and even a bit scared because now you might definitely get clocked if you walked around shirtless outside.

Johnny understood your concerns and he never pushed you to be shirtless but ever since you got top surgery, you two haven’t made love since and Johnny couldn’t lie to himself. He was becoming frustrated.

He wanted you so badly. He wanted to praise your body and reinsure you that you were still beautiful. That you were indeed still a man.

The man that he fell in love with.

Johnny slowly moved his free hand across the island and grabbed your hand, his thumb rubbing the top of it, causing you to look up at him.

You gulped.

He was giving you that look he always gave you when he wanted to have sex.

You wanted to give yourself to Johnny again, you really did.

But you were afraid.

As much as getting your chest flatten gave you relief and comfortability in your body, when it comes to other people seeing it, you were afraid of being outed and when it came to Johnny seeing it, you were afraid that he wouldn’t see you.

You sighed.

“Johnny I-”

“I know. I’m just waiting for whenever you’re ready.” he smiled and you glanced away for a bit before looking back at him.

“Johnny I’m ready. I’m so ready but it’s just that I’m scared.” you told him.

“Scared of what?”

You bit you lip.

“I’m scared that when you’ll see my chest, my body, you won’t see me.” you told him, your eyes getting a bit misty.

Johnny looked at you with a serious gaze, removing his hand from his hand and soon cupping your cheek.

“I’ve always seen you for you. Just because you got top surgery doesn’t mean I don’t see you as any less of man even if you decided to actually keep your breast.” he told, his other hand soon cupping your other cheek.

You felt silly as you felt a tear roll down your cheek.

“I’m acting so stupid-”

Johnny shook his head.

“No you’re not. Your fears are valid. I may not fully understands what it means to be trans but I know that the concerns you have aren’t stupid. I don’t feel upset over you questioning whether or not I will still see you as a man all because of you getting surgery.” he leaned in close, his lips brushing against yours. “If anything, I’m more upset that we haven’t had sex in 4 months.” he said causing you to laugh.

He smiled as he pressed his lips against yours, pulling away to look at you.

“It’s your say whenever you’re ready and in the mean time I’ll continue waiting for you.” he said before letting of his gentle hold of your face and walking to a coffee maker.

You watched Johnny as he made his cup of coffee.

You were truly thankful to have a boyfriend as understanding and patient as him.

[vergilthelibrarian]

"I... I love you... That's all I wanted to tell you. That's all I've wanted you to know. I wanted you to feel my love, my passion, my everything... but I guess it was too much." Johnny blinked his eyes as tears began to fall.

He held the lifeless body of the boy he loved, squeezing his body tightly.

"I didn't mean it." He said. "I didn't mean to hurt you... I only wanted to love you. I only wanted to love you. I only wanted to love you." Johnny repeated, rocking side to side, cradling the body, putting his head on his chest.

Johnny stilled and closed his eyes, his head leaning back, hitting the wall. He wished he wasn't so harsh towards him. Knowing that you were actually gone, well, it made him want to end his life. So, that's what he planned to do.

"I can't live without. I can't... God can be so cruel can he?" He laughed bitterly.