#john wick literally sucks and is boring also i don’t care

[royal-dream]

the disrespect of calling Dev Patel “Indian john wick” as if my man didn’t work his ass off directing and starring in a complex Indian centric movie about class politics and religion just to be compared to a yt man y’all are SICK

[mermaidsirennikita]

Can you rank the Bridgerton books from best to worst and why? Thank you!

For sure!

1. When He Was Wicked—The only thing I really don’t like is the fact that Michael spent time away in India, and all allusions to that. Otherwise, I kinda think it’s great? I love the forbidden, the pining, the very clear sexual tension between Michael and Francesca prior to John’s death but her valid love for John. It’s easily the most sexual Bridgerton book, and I think that was a great, tough thing for Francesca to have to face…. Her romantic love for John and Michael was equal but frankly Michael lit her fire in a very different way from John sexually. They’re also just the hottest Bridgerton hero and heroine. Francesca is more sexually adventurous than a typical Bridgerton heroine, Michael is an excellent seducer. And it’s Scottish! I love that it’s Scottish.

2. The Viscount Who Loved Me—A great romcom, excellent banter, Quinn at her funniest. There’s well done growth between the leads, Edwina and Mary are excellent supporting characters, it’s just a lot of fun. I will always respect JQ for writing the bee scene and going for it. It’s really similar in quality to WHWW but has a very different, much less angsty vibe, and it’s not nearly as hot. (Though I do love “it’s never been so good”, though I doubt that will make it to the show :/.)

3. It’s In His Kiss—A cute little academic adventure book with treasure hunting vibes. I liked Gareth and felt bad for him and his backstory. His connection to Lady Danbury was nice. Hyacinth is a cute heroine. I’ve gotta ding Quinn for reusing a dialogue joke from WHWW (“Michael no or Michael yes?”/“Gareth no or Gareth yes?”) but whatever. It’s fine.

4. Romancing Mr. Bridgerton—Friends to lovers is one of my least favorite tropes and I think it’s bullshit that Penelope loses weight before Colin notices her. But I like the scene where he sucks on her tits in a carriage and is then like WE MUST WED AT ONCE. It’s not an offensive book. It’s fine if you like low stakes.

5. The Duke and I—Controversial opinion…. But as bad as the rape scene is, this is actually otherwise a kind of cute romcom. Daphne is honestly dumb as a box of rocks, but I can appreciate that. I enjoy a cold lord, so Simon is fun for me. I like the beginning a lot. Everything post rape scene is either disturbing in the context of that scene, or kind of boring. The resolution is underwhelming.

6. On The Way to The Wedding—Sorry to this man. This book is so boring, I barely remember what happened in it. Lucy seems nice, Gregory seems nice, I just have literally no idea why I should care about either of them. It really reads like JQ was ready to move on.

7. To Sir Phil(l?)ip, With Love—This fucking book. So I’m not an epistolary novel girl, that trope just isn’t my jam…. But I could’ve gotten past that. I like Eloise. I like the idea of her impetuously going to marry some random. But SP is such a boring, gross blob of a man. So he likes…. Plants. Fine, whatever. He can’t hold a conversation. Fine, whatever. He has kids he basically just wants a mother for. Okay…. And then we get all this insight into how his poor depressed wife was a real bummer and he did in fact have sex with her while she just laid there and it grossed him out but he still did it. LMAO!!!! HARD PASS. But Eloise—free spirited Eloise—becomes his wife and his kids’ new mommy because of a few quirky incidents? No thanks. There’s just something so disturbing about how this Sound of Music plot happens with so little real agency from Eloise, aside from her initial decision. SP didn’t tell her about his kids and is so uncommunicative after, and if they had chemistry I’d get it but good God, this man just seems to care about his plants. It’s honestly a downer of a book. I want her to get outta there.

An Offer From A Gentleman—This one is also boring, but it’s boring and gross, so it gets out beneath the other two above it. As I’ve said before, Sophie has no personality outside of Cinderella trope. She is basically just there for Benedict, who also has little personality outside of “sad he doesn’t have a personality” to fall in love with. Benedict refuses to marry her because reasons, even though he has no title, no need of money because he’s on Anthony’s dime, and a loving family who will accept whatever he does. She refuses to sleep with him despite his pressure, until she does. There’s this kind of weird shit I don’t like about her as his servant, probably because she’s been servile all her life. And again, it’s so boring. I can take boring, and I can take messy, but I can’t take boring and messy.

[keanureevesisbae]

“Never out of practice” - Epilogue

Summary: When Darcie’s father loses an important case, a killer seeks revenge, by kidnapping the entire Angel family. Though John thought that he was officially retired, he has to save his Darcie and her family, because he can’t lose her.

John Wick x OFC Darcie

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: None

A/N: Sadly this is the last chapter of Never out of practice, but I highly doubt this’ll come as a surprise: I’m writing something else for them, because these two are the cutest ever. 

Also, I hope the people who are on my taglist are now tagged correctly - turns out something went wrong. I’m sorry xx

Masterlist // Previous chapter

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays, but this year it’s extra special. Last year it was just John, Tiki and me, since there was a huge blizzard and couldn’t get out. Now I’m here with the most important people of my life: my mom, dad, Jennie and Raye. Oreo and Tiki are asleep literally underneath the decorated tree.

I place my head against John’s shoulder as we watch Raye unpack her final gift. ‘No way, you guys,’ she says, as she unpacks the Prada shoes she has been eyeing for so long now. Every time we walked passed the store and she saw them, she’d tell us how much she loved those shoes. ‘I can’t believe you bought those for me.’

‘Well, if I had to hear one more time that you wanted them, but couldn’t afford them, I had to hit you, so yeah,’ I say, ‘it’s for my own sanity really.’

Raye sticks out her tongue. ‘You guys are the best. Thank you so much. I think I might wear those to my next date.’

‘And if you get dumped, at least you’re wearing cute shoes,’ Jennie says, something that earns her a painful pinch in her arm.

Since Jennie lost her parents not too long ago, she has been depending on mine for certain things and spending Christmas with my parents is one of those things. Sometimes she calls my mom, when she needs some female advice. It has become such a new normal in our life. She can’t really count on Raye’s parents, since Raye can’t even count on them.

Apparently, her brothers fiancé turned out to be a bitch and the wedding is off. Raye was kind of delighted, to see Alex so heartbroken and to be fair, I hated the fact that I couldn’t be there to witness it myself.

‘It’s such a shame that there are no more gifts left,’ Raye mentions.

‘You just got Prada shoes,’ Jennie says. ‘How ungrateful are you?’

‘Well,’ John says, before they can start to have a discussion, ‘there is one more gift left.’

‘Really?’ my mom asks. ‘It’s for me, isn’t it? Since I’m the best mother in law a guy could possibly ask for.’

He snorts. ‘No, I’m sorry, Somi. This gift is for my lovely Darcie,’ John says, looking over to me with a smile on his face. He is long overdue for a haircut, but now that his hair is basically shoulder length… God, I’ve been having certain dreams about it. Things that I shouldn’t be thinking about when there are other people around.

‘Oh, what did you get me?’ I ask him, turning a bit to the side, so I can have a better look at him.

‘Well,’—he clears his throat and holds onto my hand—‘Darcie, I can’t believe that we’ve been together for almost a year and a half. It seems longer and not in a time never passes with you, because you are so boring-way, but more in a I feel like I’ve known you forever-way.’

I chuckle, squeezing his hand, when I see that he needs a little bit more encouragement to continue.

‘Every day when I wake up, I prize myself so insanely lucky that you are my girlfriend. The way you run your cafe with so much passion and how you make your cafe a safe haven. The way I somehow persuade you to love me and get another dog. The way we are slowly talking more about our future, without freaking out. How you took care of me when I had injured my leg. Everything you do and say, makes me love you even more.’ He brings my hand to his lips, to press a soft and tender kiss on my knuckles. ‘When that idiot took you, I thought that was it. I thought that I had lost you, like I lost everything before. We were supposed to have a future together and thinking about how that might be taken away from me…’ John sighs.

It surprises me that he is so open, especially with everyone around us. I feel the tears burning in my eyes and I clear my throat to prevent myself from crying. My fingers run through his raven locks.

‘Darcie,’ he continues, ‘I really love you so insanely much and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend my life with than you. I love having you as my girlfriend, but I think it needs an upgrade.’

For some reason Raye squeals and I glance at her, unsure of what is happening. When I look back at John, I see he has a red velvety looking box in his hand and he is sitting down on one knee. My eyes widen, while I bring my hands to my mouth. ‘What are you doing?’ I ask him.

‘My sweet Darcie, will you marry me?’ He opens up the the velvet box, only to reveal such a beautiful ring.

Tears drip down my cheeks, as a sob leaves my lips. He is genuinely proposing to me? ‘Why do you want to marry me?’ I ask in disbelieve.

John frowns, before he lets out a nervous laugh. ‘Didn’t you hear my speech, baby?’

‘I did, but… But what if I suck at being a fiancée or a wife? I thought I was getting the girlfriend part finally under control. John, you are such an amazing man and I… I feel like I—’

‘No, baby,’ he interrupts me, placing a hand on my cheek, ‘you’ll do just fine. I promise.’

‘Oh my God, Darcie, don’t leave the man hanging,’ Raye intervenes and I wonder how long she’s been holding in her excitement.

I look over to John and smile. ‘Yes, John, I want to marry you.’

He lets out a sigh of relief, like he wasn’t expecting me to say yes. He takes out the ring and holds out his hand. I place mine in his and he slides on the ring on my finger.

I stare down at the diamond and a nervous laugh leaves my lips. ‘I’m engaged,’ I whisper.

‘Yes, you are.’ John sits on the floor and pulls me in his arms. His warm lips against mine. I place my hands on the sides of his face, never wanting to let go. I’m going to marry this man. I’m going to be—

‘Holy shit,’ I say, pulling back. ‘I’m going to be Mrs. Wick.’

‘I know!’ Raye shouts, jumping up to launch herself in my arms. I tumble over, starting to laugh as she says: ‘You’re engaged!’

‘I know, isn’t this crazy?’

Jennie pushes Raye off of me, to give me a long hug. ‘I’m so happy for you, Darcie. You deserve this so much.’ She takes a good look at the ring and says: ‘He has taste.’

‘He sure does.’

‘Mister Mustang, you are an engaged man,’ Raye yells, jumping in John’s arms. He chuckles, patting her back as she hangs around him like a koala.

My father is genuinely crying. ‘My munchkin is engaged to such a great man. She is truly growing up.’

‘Dad,’ I laugh, wiping his tears away, but I’m tearing up as well.

After everything that happened, it took him a while, before my father could really look at John the way he did before, but now they’re the best of friends again.

My mom wraps her arms around the both of us. ‘Chris, don’t you agree? Aren’t they your favorite,’—oh dear God, she’s gonna say sail again—‘ship?’

‘Did you just get that right?’ I smile and pull my mom into a hug.

‘Now I finally have the son I always wanted,’ mom jokes, earning her a painful squeeze from me. She pats my hand away, before giving John a hug.

My dad looks at John and say: ‘I wanted to tell you that you should take good care of her, but I know for a fact that you will. You have done so much for her and us already.’ He pulls my boyfr— fiancé in a hug and I smile watching them.

John holds out his hand and when I hold it tightly, he gives me a long kiss on my lips. ‘I have to get used to introducing you as my fiancée,’ John says.

‘Well, I like the upgrade.’

‘Darcie,’ Raye says, holding Tiki in her arms, while scratching Oreo behind his ears. ‘Ask John about how much the ring was.’

‘Don’t,’ John says, glaring dangerously at my friend.

‘I’d rather not know,’ I say in all honesty. ‘I bet it was way too expensive. Something around two thousand dollars.’

Raye barks out a laugh. ‘Oh honey.’

‘Raye, really, don’t say it,’ John says.

‘How do you know the prize?’ I ask here. ‘Were you all in on this?’

‘I helped him pick out the ring, Jennie helped him think about how he should propose and your dad gave John his blessing two months ago and since your dad can’t keep a secret from your mom, he probably told her.’

‘Oh my God,’ I laugh. ‘The fact that the three of you,’—I point to Jennie, mom and dad—‘kept it a secret doesn’t surprise me, but you, Raye… I’m impressed.’

She nods. ‘Oh Darcie, I’m growing.’ She sighs deeply and smiles at us. ‘The ring was a little over ten thousand dollars,’ she blurts out.

‘Raye, I swear—’ John brings his fist to his mouth.

‘Ten thousand fucking dollars?’ I yell, staring at this ring. ‘I have ten grand on my left hand? John, are you insane?’

Taglist: @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @flhorah​ @allie1804-fan​ @cynic-spirit​ @raven-black102​

[johnsbleu]

Hold My Hand: John Wick x Reader Chapter 61

warnings: it’s a little long, i definitely think it’s worth it :) HMH masterlist

John has been gone for several hours now, and you honesty can’t remember what he needed to do since he told you when you were half asleep the night before. You’re clicking away on the laptop, looking up random stuff to buy while also stuffing your face with Lucky Charms. When you get bored, you shop…and you eat. The thing is, since you’ve been dating John, you haven’t been bored, but he’s been a little MIA since he came home from work the other day.

The front door opens and a few moments later, John pokes his head into the office. He smiles and leans against the door frame, “Hi, baby.”

You watch John as he walks over to you, and you tilt your head back to kiss him, “Hi.”

“Mmm, one more.” John smiles and leans back in to kiss you again. He looks at the laptop and laughs, “Shopping, I see. 27 items in your shopping cart.”

You shrug and close the laptop, then get up from the desk, “Yeah, I found some stuff that I liked for our trip for Italy, but I probably won’t even buy half of it.”

“But you should.” John presses a kiss to your forehead and he laughs, “You’re bored.”

“Well,” you shrug and lean up to kiss John again, missing his lips on yours, “I haven’t really had much else to do lately. I know we went into the city yesterday for your bookbinding stuff, but…I don’t know, I just miss hanging out with you. I thought that when you got home from work the other day that we’d spend some time together, but we’ve only spent a little time together.”

“Yeah.” John follows you into the kitchen and leans against the counter as you sit down at the table. He drums his hands on the counter and looks up at you, “Well, what are your plans for today?”

You pull your knees into your chest and shrug, “I don’t know, I guess I don’t really have any. What about you?”

“Well, I definitely have plans for later,” he says, and you start to frown. “But I’m free until then.”

You look down at the table and nod, “Okay.”

“What’s wrong, peach?” he asks, moving to sit next to you at the table.

“Nothing.” you give him a weak smile, and he moves your feet into his lap.

“Baby,” he leans forward and cups your cheek, “Say what you’re feeling.”

“You got home on Saturday, and I know it’s only Tuesday, but...” you say, and John nods. “We have barely spent any time together.”

“That’s not true. We did self defense the other day, we went into the city yesterday...”

“Yeah, but you’ve still been working late in the basement and in the morning, you’re not even there when I wake up. You’re gone.” you sigh and pout a little, “You, Jimmy, and Tess were doing something that didn’t include me last night when I went over, and that’s fine. You’re allowed to have friends and do things with them, but it kinda hurt my feelings that I wasn’t included. I know I sound like a baby, but it’s like you don’t want to spend time with me anymore. I guess I didn’t realize I was smothering you.”

John laughs, “You’re not.”

You take a deep breath and look up at John, “I’ve just been feeling really lonely lately, and it really sucks that you don’t seem to care or even notice.”

John is watching you closely and he leans back his chair, “Oh, I…”

“You told me to say what I was feeling.”

“I did, and I get what you’re saying.” he leans forward again, rubbing his thumb over your cheek, “I know I haven’t been around much, but I promise none of that is true. I love you and--”

You hear John’s phone ringing, and he quickly pulls it out of pocket to answer it as you shake your head.

“Hey…” he presses the phone closer to his ear and looks at you, “Yeah, I’ll be there in a few.”

You let out a loud sigh and lean back in your chair, trying your best to keep yourself together. You were hoping to at least spend a little time with John today, but when you realize that’s not happening, you feel tears pricking your eyes. John cups your face in his hands and presses a kiss to the top of your head as he gets up from the table.

“I’m sorry, I have to go, they need me at the shop.” he says as he throws his jacket back on.

“Are you cheating on me?” you ask, half joking, and John turns around and lets out a loud laugh until he realizes you’re serious.

“No!” he kneels in front of you and frowns, “No, I’m not. You know I would never do that to you. You know that, right?”

You know you’re an idiot for thinking it. John would never do that to you and you know that. John has never once made you feel like he would ever stray, and he reminds you every day how lucky he is to have you.

“I know,” you sigh and shake your head, “I know, I’m just…I’m not thinking straight. I’m sorry.”

“I gotta go, baby. I’m sorry,” he says, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “I promise I’ll make up for this.”

“It’s okay.” you whisper and watch John leave the kitchen. “Love you.”

You rest your head on your hand and let out a pitiful sigh. Your phone is sitting on the table, and you decide to give Tess a call, hoping she can make you feel a little bit better.

“Hey.”

“Hi, what’s up?” Tess says, and you can hear the TV loud in the background, “What’s going on?

“I need a pep talk.” you lay your head on the table and sigh, “John hates me.”

“He hates you?” she asks, then laughs, “I highly doubt that. Why do you think he hates you?”

“Because he doesn’t ever want to be around me anymore.” you get up from the table and make your way to your bedroom, “I didn’t get to FaceTime with him at all while he was working, and since he’s been home, he just seems like he’d rather be alone than be with me. Well, unless we’re having sex, of course. Men.”

“That doesn’t mean he hates you. You are so dramatic. He literally just got home the other day.”

You sigh, “Well, yeah, but usually when he gets home, we spend our time together. We’ve only hung out for a few hours during the day, then he leaves to go do stuff.”

Tess leans away from the phone and you can hear her telling someone to shut up, “Sorry, Jimmy is being loud. Uh, I’m sure everything is fine.”

“Thanks, this has made me feel so much better.” you say sarcastically as you lay down on the bed, “Do you want to have lunch in a little bit?”

“I actually can’t,” she says, and you sigh again. “I have an appointment in a bit.”

“What about your husband? What is he doing?”

“Uh, he’s going with me. You must be really desperate if you were going to hang out with him.” Tess says, laughing loudly.

“I love to hang out with Jimmy.” you sigh and close your eyes, “Just forget it. Call me after your appointment, let me know how everything is going.”

“Yup, will do.” Tess says, then hangs up without even saying goodbye.

“Oh…” you look at your phone and frown, “Okay.”

You curl up into a ball and lean up a little to see Bleu sitting in the doorway. You pat the spot next to you, and Bleu quickly jumps on the bed to lay with you.

“Well, at least you still like me. Everyone else hates me, I guess.” you say, and Bleu licks your cheek, “I’m so lonely, bub.”

You hadn’t realized how lonely you were until now, and you cover your face with your hand as you start to cry.

Tess and Jimmy are expecting a baby, so of course they’d go her ultrasound together. John said he was needed at the bookshop, and you would have been more than happy to go with him if he had asked. But he didn’t. You know it was stupid to ask him if he’s cheating on you, and you know him well, so you know he’s probably going to be thinking about it all day.

You grab your phone and scroll through your last few text messages between you and John, and you smile when you read one in particular from the other day.

Hi, baby. I’m just laying in bed thinking about you. I can’t facetime with you, and I’m sure you’re sleeping. I hope you are at least since it’s pretty late there. I’ll be home tomorrow to help Jimmy and Tess move into their house, and I can’t wait to see you and hold you again. I love you so much, peach. See you tomorrow.

You’d hope that reading the text would make you feel better, but now you’re just even sadder since you can’t be with John right now. You frown a little, then you flip on your side and close your eyes, hoping a nap will make you feel better.

__

You look at your phone to check the time, and you frown when you see you don’t have any missed calls or texts. The balcony door is open and it’s letting a warm breeze blow through the room, and you get off your bed to change into some jeans and a t-shirt.

“John?” you call out as you head down the stairs, “Jonathan? Baby, are you home?”

As you head down to the kitchen, you don’t see John anywhere, but you stop dead in your tracks when you see the kitchen island covered in flowers. Sunflowers and blue roses. You look around the kitchen, waiting for John to pop up, but he doesn’t. Smiling to yourself, you lean forward and see a card on the table with the number one on it.

“Oh,” you pick it up and a picture of you and John slides out. It’s the first picture the two of you ever took together. Even though it was less than a year ago, it feels like a lifetime ago, but somehow, it also feels like it was just yesterday. You open the card and read it, “I told you that I would make up for it. I hope you’re ready for this. Consider this clue number one, and if you want clue number two, go to where you met me and Bleu.” you read, then you start to laugh, “Oh, my god, he’s set up a scavenger hunt for me.”

You look at the card again and smile when you read it: Go to where you met me and Bleu.

“The mailbox.” you say and quickly run to the door to put on your boots, “This is exciting. Come on, Bleu.”

Walking down the driveway with Bleu, you look down at the card again and laugh. You have no idea what John is up to, but you’re excited to see how this is going to end. You look up to see Tess leaning against the mailbox and doing finger guns.

“Hey,” she winks, “How’s it goin’?”

“Uh, I have no idea.” you say and look at the mailbox, “Can I?”

“Oh, is there something you’re expecting? I thought you changed your address.” she says and stands in front of the mailbox.

“Tess Hendricks, if you don’t move…” you laugh and jokingly shove her out of the way. You pull out another card with a picture of you, John, and Bleu from Christmas.

“Read it out loud.”

“Peach…” you read, and Tess groans. “I love this picture of us. Remember I took it when I helped you decorate the top half of the Christmas tree? It’s one of my favorite pictures.”

“God, he is so annoying.” Tess says, leaning against the mailbox again.

“I know,” you laugh and look down at the card again, “If you want clue number three, you better find Jimmy.”

“Huh.” Tess says, looking at the card, “I don’t even know where Jimmy is.”

“Call him. Tell him you’re…in labor.” you say and try to grab her phone from her pocket.

“No!” she says and pushes you away a little.

You hear a knock on the window and turn around to see Jimmy waving with a card in his hand. You turn around and squint your eyes at Tess, “You liar.”

“I got clue number three,” Jimmy sings and dances in place, “Do you want it?”

“Yes.” you say and look over your shoulder to see Tess recording you, “Are you recording me now?”

“Yup. John wanted to see all of this, but I couldn’t really sneak in your house so I didn’t get to see your face when you saw the flowers.”

“Well, Jonathan,” you look at the camera and smile, “I was very surprised, and they’re beautiful.”

Jimmy taps you on the shoulder and laughs, “Want this?”

“Yes.” you nod your head and take it from him. You look up at Tess to see her still recording as you open the next card to read it. You start to laugh as you pretend to read the card, “Jimmy is annoying, isn’t he?”

“Hey, it doesn’t say that!” Jimmy says, looking over your shoulder at the card, “Ha, ha, very funny.”

You open the card and see a picture of you, John, Tess, and Jimmy from a date night that four of you had just a few weeks ago. John has both his arms wrapped around your waist, and he’s pressing a kiss to your cheek as you smile wide.

If the theme is going to be a picture in every card, you can’t wait to see what others he has planned.

“For clue number four, go to your store.” you read and furrow your brow, “My store? What the fuck is that?”

“You expect John to be able to do all the shit he does and rhyme. Ridiculous.” Tess says and rolls her eyes as she stuffs her phone in her pocket and walks to her car. “Come on.”

“Hey, Jimmy, can you watch Bleu?” you ask, leaning down to pet him.

“Yeah, of course. Have fun, you two.” Jimmy says and waves from the front step as you get in Tess’ car.

“I don’t have my purse.” you say, and Tess holds up your bag. “How?”

“John gave it to me after he set up the flowers,” she says and hands it to you, “He knew you’d be sad and when you’re sad, what do you always do?”

“I nap.”

“You nap.” she repeats.

“So, my store?” you look over at Tess and she laughs. “The shop?”

“Listen, we can’t rhyme everything perfectly.” she says and buckles herself in, “We’ve been planning this all out for a few weeks now, and John texted me the other night and pushed up his plans.”

You laugh quietly, “I knew something was strange when Jimmy brought up John telling him about me last night.”

“Oh, us hiding papers from you and being secretive wasn’t a dead giveaway?” she laughs, and you shrug a little.

“I don’t know, I thought you guys were just doing something without me, and I didn’t want to be annoying and ask about it. I figured you guys just didn’t want me around or something.” you say quietly, and Tess nudges your shoulder as she laughs.

“You know what’s happening, right? You’re not completely clueless.”

You look over at Tess and shrug again, feeling your cheeks burning, “I guess. I don’t know. I think I know.”

Tess stops at the stop sign and turns in her seat a little to look at you, “He loves you. He does not hate you, he wasn’t trying to find excuses to not be around you. He definitely isn’t cheating on you.”

“So you’ve talked to him since I talked to you on the phone?”

“Who do you think called him so he could leave? And who do you think I was yelling at on the phone? I had it on speaker, and as soon as you said that he hated you, he tried to grab the phone from me.”

“Oh.” you blush and look down at your hands.

“He’s been planning this for a long time. The reason he’s been gone so much lately is because of me. For weeks now, we’ve been meeting up early in the morning at cafe’s and planning all of this out, or sometimes he’d lie and say he had work in the city he needed to do. You’d call me and I’d have to lie and say I wasn’t feeling well. But the other day when John got home and you were at my house, do you remember how John and Jimmy were talking in the hallway?”

“Yeah.” you nod.

“It was because John had changed his plans, he decided to move it to today instead. He didn’t want to wait any longer.” she looks over at you and frowns, “It was so hard to lie to you, I’m sorry.”

You smile, “It’s okay.”

“You know what’s going to happen when you get to the last clue, right?”

“Yeah.” you nod and start to tear up, “I do.”

Tess pulls her phone out again and smiles as she FaceTimes John, “Hi, John.”

“Hey, Tess.” John says, then he lets out a small laugh, “Is she with you?”

You cover your face with your hands and laugh, “Hi, baby, I’m here.”

“Let me see your face,” he says, and you look over at Tess’ phone. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” you smile, wiping away the tears on your cheek, “I miss you.”

John nods his head and smiles, “I miss you too, but I’ll see you soon.”

“I want to see you now.” you say, and Tess rolls her eyes.

“You two are unbelievable.” she laughs, shaking her head, “So fucking cute.”

“What clue are you on?”

Tess turns the phone back to her and smiles, “Hi, we’re on clue four, so we’re on the way to the shop. She made fun of your rhyming, by the way.”

“That was all you, Tess.” John laughs, “Baby, you have a quite a few to go, but listen…well, Tess, move the phone so I can see her.”

“Oh, right.” she says, and you let out a laugh as you lean over to see John.

“I want you to have fun doing this. I know you miss me and trust me, I miss you so much, but take your time. Go do…whatever it is you two want to do, I gave Tess money to pay for whatever you two want.” he says, and you look up at Tess as she winks dramatically and pulls out John’s credit card. “I just want you to be happy, baby. This is your day.”

“You gave Tess your credit card? John, that’s like giving a candy to a baby.” you laugh, and Tess laughs mockingly.

“I think it’s okay.” John laughs, and your stomach fills with butterflies when your gazes meet.

“You’re still setting stuff up, aren’t you?” you laugh as John nods his head. “You put a lot of thought into this.”

“I told you that I wasn’t trying to find excuses to be away from you.”

You look down at your hands and let out a small laugh, “I’m sorry I thought you were cheating on me.”

“But did you really think that?” he asks, and you shake your head. “Didn’t think so. Okay, now go to your next clue. Keep me updated, Tess.”

“I will.” she says and waves as she hangs up. Tess heads for the book shop and laughs, “This is going to be so fun, you have no idea what he has planned.”

“Wait, he has like…activities planned?”

“No.” Tess shakes her head, “He has all these places picked out, and I know I’m not supposed to spoil it, but it’s really sweet. Actually, if I’m being honest, a few of them I don’t even know where they lead.”

“That’s reassuring.”

“We had so much fun doing this, by the way. I feel like I’m so much closer to him now, and he’s so fucking sweet. I definitely see why you’re so in love with him. He always made sure that I was okay when we would go out to eat early in the morning, made sure that I had enough to eat, always asked about the baby. He’s a really good guy, I fucking adore him. He’s also really creative, but he’s terrible when it comes to rhyming.” she laughs and looks over at you.

“The fact that he thought all of this up just to…”

“To propose, it’s okay, you can say it. He knew you’d figure it out after the first clue.” she laughs, then sniffles, “It’s really cute.”

You see tears in Tess’ eyes, and you lean forward a little to look at her, “What’s going on?”

Tess shakes her head and wipes a tear off her cheek, “It’s just that he even thought to include me in this, it just means a lot to me. He really valued my opinion on everything, and it’s just nice to be included. He could have easily just done all this without me, but he didn’t. He chose to include me in this unforgettable day.”

“Of course he’d include you. You’re a part of his family now. Plus, imagine how bored I’d be by myself.” you laugh, and Tess rolls her eyes as she wipes away tears.

“Yeah,” she nods and looks over at you, “I’m sorry, this is just…really emotional.”

“Oh, well, when I get to the end, whenever that is, I am going to be sobbing.”

Tess pulls in front of the shop and you both hop out of the car, then she pulls the key out of her pocket and opens the door for you, “After you.”

The shop has been closed for the past few weeks while you and John get things in order, and the construction crew has already begun to bring in a few things to fix the staircase.

“Well…” you look around the shop, then at Tess, “Where is the next clue?”

“I…don’t know. You know your relationship better than I do.” she says and starts looking through the bookshelves, “Is there a certain book that you and John like?”

“No, not really.” you shrug, looking through the shelves. “Can I text him and ask? Or is that cheating?”

“It’s cheating! Don’t text him.” she says and grabs your phone. “Didn’t you and John go to like, some book shop that one time? And he bought you a really nice book?”

“Yeah, but the card says my store.” you say and grab it out again. “For clue number four, go to your store.”

“He is so bad at this.” she laughs then shrugs, “But he’s cute, so I’ll forgive him.”

“Can you just call him?”

“I’ll FaceTime him.” she says and leans against the counter with you next to her, “Hi, John.”

“Hi, girls.”

“Babe, we’re at clue number four and we’re stuck.” you laugh and prop your head up on your hands, “Help us.”

“Clue number four…” he says, and you see him get in his car, “Well, it’s in there. You just have to find it.”

“A map!” Tess yells and runs over to grab a map.

“It’s not a map.” John laughs and shakes his head, then he looks back at his phone. “Are you having fun?”

“I would be if I knew where clue four was.” you pout a little, batting your eyelashes, “Where is it?”

“Nope, that look won’t work on me today.” John shakes his head, “I’m not telling.”

“Well, where are you going now?” you ask, and John shakes his head again. “You’re only a clue ahead, aren’t you?

John shrugs, and you hear his car roar to life, “Maybe.”

“It’s not in the maps.” Tess huffs loudly.

“Well, I gotta go,” you say and look down at Tess’ phone to see John smiling, “I guess I have to destroy the shop.”

“You want a hint?”

“Yes!” Tess yells from across the shop, and you walk back over to her as John laughs.

“Okay. When was the last time we were in the shop together?”

You look around the shop as you think, then you look back at Tess’ phone, “When you bought the shop.”

“And after I told you that we bought the shop and we were there just talking, remember what I told you?”

“You told me about the time you came in here and asked me for help to find a book, you said you were so nervous, you couldn’t think of a one, so…” you look around the shop again and gasp, then hand Tess the phone, “Oh, my gosh.”

“She’s figuring it out.” Tess laughs and follows behind you with her phone.

“You couldn’t think of a book so you just said Moby Dick.” you say and grab a stool to reach the top shelf.

“Loser.” Tess laughs, and you look over your shoulder to see John rolling his eyes.

You hop back down with a book and open it to see a card tucked inside. Clue number four.

“Ah! She did it!” Tess laughs and jumps up and down. “What does it say?”

You hold up a picture and smile, “Well, first of all, we have a picture. John and I, of course. This was right after we bought the shop.”

Smiling, you look down at the picture and chuckle to yourself. John is holding up the keys to the shop in his hand, and you’re sitting on the counter next to him with your arm around his shoulder.

“For clue number five…” you look up at Tess, then down at her phone, “Let Tess take you for a drive.”

“Oh.” Tess gasps and turns her phone, “It’s this one. I don’t know where this one leads, John.”

“I’ll text you the location.”

You and Tess quickly lock up the shop and get back in your car, waiting for John to text her the address.

“Oh, I got it.” she says and puts it into her GPS. “New York City?”

“Hmm,” you furrow your brow and look at the address, “It looks familiar.”

“Don’t look it up! I want to be surprised!”

__

The drive into the city went faster than you’d thought it would, but that was all because of Tess. She had made an entire playlist of songs, and she sang them all as loud as possible. She even showed you several that she thinks will be great for your wedding.

Tess turns the music down and leans up in her seat, “It says it’s up here on the right.”

You lean forward to look at the buildings, and you put your head over your mouth as you gasp, “Did he really send me here?”

“Wait, where are we?”

“The Continental.” you say, looking over her in shock.

“The hotel.” she says and look at you, “Huh, I never would have guessed. Oh, wait.”

“What?” you look over at Tess as she pulls in front of the hotel, and she points to your purse. “In my purse?”

“Yeah, he said you’d need something for this clue.”

You reach into your purse and feel around for something. Your fingers brush past something cool and you pull it out, “A coin.”

“Is that one of his assassin coins?”

“Assassin coins? Don’t call them that.” you laugh and hand it to Tess so she can look at it, “There’s like three in here. God, what does he have planned for here? Why would I even need one of these?”

You look over as the valet opens the door, and you turn around to tell Tess you’ll be back, but she’s hopping out of the car. Tess brushes off her pants and fixes her shirt, “Oh, I’m coming with. I wanna see this.”

“I should have dressed nicer.” you say and look down at your jeans and ankle booties.

“It’s okay.” Tess says, fluffing her hair. “It’s kind of…your brand. Ankle boots and jeans. Just what John loves, right?”

“Look, I love you…so much, but please don’t say anything to anyone.” you say and reach for her hand. “You realize these people could kill us within like, ten seconds, right?”

“You’re dating John Wick, they wouldn’t dare.” she says and starts her way up the steps. “Come on.”

As soon as you get inside, Tess gasps loudly and a few people look up at her. You head to the concierge desk and smile when you see Charon standing there. You remember Charon and how kind and soft spoken he was the first time you met him, but you’re not so sure he remembers you.

“How may I be of assistance?”

“Uh,” you look at Tess and blush, then you look at Charon again, “I came here…months ago, you probably don’t remember me, but I was looking for--”

“Mr. Wick.” he says, then nods, “Yes, I do remember.”

“Oh,” you clasp your hands in front of you and shrug, “I…”

“John sent her here.” Tess says and reaches across the counter to shake his hand, “I’m Tess.”

“Hello.” he says, then grabs a card from under the desk, “Here you are.”

You and Tess move to the side and open the card: Want the sixth clue? Where did I first tell you that I loved you?

Tess nudges your shoulder and you look up at her, “What?”

“They’re talking about you.” she whispers and looks at you, “They know who you are.”

Looking around the lobby, you notice all the people trying to get a good look at you. You hear people whispering and every so often, you hear John’s name. Brushing it off, you look down at the card again and pull out a key card for a hotel room, then you head for the elevator.

“Where did he first tell you that he loved you?” Tess asks, following behind you.

“In his room. Room 818.” you say and get in the elevator.

Tess scoots closer to you and bumps your shoulder, “They know who you are.”

“I know.” you sigh and look down, “It’s…weird.”

“No, it’s fucking cool. John is so…powerful that people even know who his girlfriend is.” she says and leans her head back, “You’re definitely off limits, and they know it.”

“Yeah.” you look at Tess and sigh again.

“Do you worry?”

“What?” you ask, stepping off the elevator.

“Do you worry about…being with him and someone hurting you?” she asks and follows behind you.

You look at Tess and raise your eyebrows, “Do you worry?”

“To be honest, the thought never crossed my mind. Nothing bad ever happened to me.” she says and looks at you as she shrugs, “I guess, no, I’ve never been worried. I know John would never let anything happen to me or you.”

You stop at the room door and look at Tess, “And Tess, he cares about you. He does. He cares about Jimmy, and he cares about that baby in your stomach. But…he cares about me more. So, no, I’ve never worried. John has always made me feel safe, and John is different from John Wick. I mean, he’s still John Wick, but Baba Yaga, that person…that’s not the John we know. Two completely different people. The guy that I saw at your wedding with Matt, that’s not the John that we know.”

“He’s good at separating the two. He’s so…soft.”

“He really is.” you say and point at your clue card. “But he doesn’t want to be that anymore. He wants this life. Being a husband and a father is something he never thought he’d have, but now that it’s an option, he wants it more than anything. I’m just lucky enough to be the person he chose to give it to him. And I know you don’t really know everything that John has been through, but…”

“Tell me.” she says and stands in front of the door so you can’t get in.

“Oh, god, Tess, he’s been through so much.” you sigh and shake your head as Tess reaches out for your hand. “Basically all you need to know is that the last time someone fucked with something of John’s, they…”

“Were killed?” she asks and you nod.

“Someone broke in and…killed his puppy. It was a gift from Helen after she passed, to help with his grief. And then they stole his car, which was also a gift from Helen.”

Tess looks at the ground, then back at you, “Wow. So, he killed a shit ton of people over a puppy? I would totally kill someone for Sadie.”

“Well, it was more what Daisy represented. It was his last gift from Helen, the last piece of her, and someone broke in and took that away from him.” you look at Tess carefully and she starts to smile. “Now imagine someone trying to do that to me.”

Tess slowly shakes her head and laughs, “That is so hot.”

“I mean, look at how much he changed at your wedding when he saw I was in danger. He saw Matt pushing himself onto me, and John just…changed.”

Tess leans back against the door and frowns, “Was it scary?”

You take a moment to think it through, trying to figure out how to answer. “I wouldn’t say scary. I was crying, but it wasn’t because I was scared of John. I’ve never been scared of John. He’s…Jonathan, I mean, come on, he’s making do a scavenger hunt just so he can propose.”

Tess starts to tear up again, and she looks up at you as she smiles, “He’s a really good guy.”

“He’s great.” you nod.

You push her out of the way and slowly open the door to see the room dimly light. Walking back into the room is almost like walking into a time machine. It wasn’t long ago that you sat on the bed while John told you everything. He spilled his guts that night and fully opened up to you.

You know there are still some things he hasn’t told you, but it’s not because he doesn’t want to be honest with you. It’s because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, he doesn’t want you to know how bad it was for him. When the time is right, he’ll tell you, and you’ll do the same thing you did the night he told you about his job: you’ll love him endlessly.

Tess gasps loudly and covers her mouth, “Holy shit. This is…nice.”

“I know.” you laugh and walk over to the bed. There’s a glass of champagne and a bottle of water for Tess, of course, and rose petals are laid down on the bed in the shape of a heart.

“He’s so corny, I told him not to do this.” she scoffs, then continues walking around the room.

“I have to admit, I’m loving this picture idea.” you say as you grab the picture from the bed: you and John from the night you got back together. The two of you are clearly naked, but the blanket is covering your chests. You’re laying with your head against his shoulder, and John is pressing a kiss to your head.

There’s a note folded up in the the center of the petals and you grab it, then sit down at the table to read it.

“Read it--”

“Out loud, I know.” you say, and Tess quickly pulls out her phone as you read, “You’re almost done, I promise. I know you’re probably nervous being in the hotel without me, but you needed to come here. This is where a lot of things -- a lot of secrets -- were revealed. I told you everything, and you accepted me for me.”

“He’s so cute.” Tess says, then turns her phone to face her, “You’re so cute, John!”

“I love you, and I’m sorry for making you wait, but now you need to go to where we had our first date.” you read and look up at Tess’ phone, “Jonathan, you’re really making me work for this.”

“Hope it’s worth it.” Tess teases and stops recording so she can send John the video.

You and Tess head back downstairs, and Charon is by the door waiting for you with a huge bouquet of flowers in his hands.

“From management.” he says, smiling.

“Oh,” you look down at the flowers and smile. The flowers are beautiful beyond words, and it’s honestly the biggest bouquet you’ve ever seen. It’s even bigger than anything John has given you. You hold them up to your nose to get a smell, then look up at Charon, “Well, thank you.”

“You have a beautiful hotel.” Tess says, smiling wide.

“I’ll let the manager know.” Charon says, and he turns around to walk back to the desk.

Tess walks in front of you and reaches out, “Let me give them the coin!”

“Okay.” you laugh, pulling out a coin.

“Thanks, boys.” Tess says and hands the coin to the man holding her door open for her. She gives him a flirty wink, and you watch his cheeks turn bright red.

“God, Tess.” you laugh as you get in the car.

“That was exhilarating.” she says, putting the car in drive, “So, The Steak House?”

“Yup.” you nod and lean down to smell the flowers again. “The Steak House.”

__

You pull up in front of the restaurant, and you laugh when you hear Tess’ stomach growl loudly. “Guess it’s a good thing we’re here, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m starving.” she says and hands her keys to the valet, “I was totally in the mood for a steak, too. John knows me so well.”

“Reservations for…” you look over at Tess and smile. “Wick.”

The hostess looks down at her book and smiles, “Yup! Right here. Your table is this way.”

“It’s going to be in the back.” you say and turn around to smirk at Tess when you’re lef to the back, “Told you.”

It’s the table from your first date and it’s, of course, covered with rose petals, and Tess points at your picture on the table, “I love that picture of you two.”

“Oh, yeah,” you pick up the picture frame and laugh, “I took this of us not that long ago. The night mom got engaged.”

“The night you were talking dirty to each other and I caught you.” Tess notices the box of chocolates on the table and opens them, “Don’t mind if I do.”

“Tess!”

“What? I’m helping. You can’t eat all of these on your own.” she says and shakes her head, “Plus I drove you here.”

You sit down at the table and look around, “So, do we eat now?”

“Tess, she’s going to ask if you’ll eat. Tell her yes, and if she says she’s not hungry, make her eat.” Tess reads her phone and looks up at you, “He knows you so well.”

“Can I call him?” you ask, and Tess shakes her head.

“Don’t let her call me either.” she starts to laugh, “I’m just kidding, he didn’t say that.”

“How many clues do I have left?”

Tess shrugs and looks at the menu, “I don’t know.”

__

Since you’re unsure of how many clues you have, and you’re dying to see John, you’re not in the mood to eat. The anticipation is killing you. You’ve taken a few bites of your food, but you’ll ask for a box to bring home the rest. You know John would love to eat it.

Sitting back in your chair, you watch in awe as Tess stuffs mashed potatoes in her mouth. When she looks up at you, you look away quickly and try to hide a laugh.

“This is going to happen to you, too!”

You put your hands up in defense and laugh, “I didn’t say anything.”

“This baby is always hungry.”

“Excuse me, I was instructed to give you this.” the waitress sets a card down on the table and smiles, “I’m sorry, I just have to say this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Your boyfriend was in here, and he was so cute about everything.”

“Oh, gosh,” you laugh, “I hope he wasn’t too much a hassle. He likes things to be perfect, and I’m sure he was stressed out.”

“He was so particular on what he wanted, what table he wanted. The flowers had to be perfect, and he made sure that no one would touch it before you got here. He kept mentioning that everything needed to be perfect for you. He’s very sweet.” she says and smiles wide, “And I obviously don’t know you two, but he loves you very much. I hope you have a wonderful night.”

“Thank you.” you smile again and take the card from the table to open it, then you look at Tess, “I cannot read this out loud.”

“Do it.” she smiles wide, “Do it, please.”

“If you want to find the clue that's next, go to where we first had sex.” you look up at Tess as the two of you laugh, “John definitely didn’t write this one, did he?”

“No, all me.” she says, beaming and patting herself on the back, “Listen, it was a big moment for you, it was when you realized you were in love with him.”

__

You run up the stairs to your bedroom with Tess right behind you, and you cover your mouth when you see candles all over the floor, “Jesus, John. Fire hazard.”

“Oh, you know he’s probably, like, in the bathroom or something”

You walk into the bathroom and turn on the light to look around. Empty.

Walking back out to Tess, you take a deep breath and exhale slowly. The day has passed by so fast and now you’re back home, surely this is where it’s meant to end. You sit down on the bed next to Tess try to collect your thoughts.

“I’m getting engaged.” you say, almost in disbelief.

Tess looks up at you and smiles, “You are. How does it feel?”

“It’s weird. You know, you’d think because I know it’s happening, I’d be calmer, but…” you chuckle and hold up your hands to show Tess how bad they’re shaking, “I’m so nervous.”

“Babe! Why are you nervous?”

“I love John so much,” you look over at Tess with tears in your eyes, “I just…god, it’s just my brain. I just go to this place where I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it.”

Tess scoots closer and reaches for your hand, “Tell me.”

“What if we get married and then something terrible happens, and John realizes the mistake he’s made and we get divorced? I’m stupid for thinking like this, but part of me is always waiting for the other shoe to drop, you know? I’m waiting for the inevitable.”

“I get it.” Tess nods, “Trust me, every day I wake up and I still wonder how I got so lucky with Jimmy. Of course John and Jimmy are much different, but at the end of the day, Jimmy is just as crazy about me as John is about you. And I am so damn happy, so how could I not think that something horrible might happen? It’s who we are. It’s…because of our past relationships.”

“Oh, no, don’t get all wise on me, Tess.”

She laughs loudly and shakes her head, “You and John are the most married unmarried couple I’ve ever seen. You should have no problem transitioning into a married life. Trust me, it’s not different. And…John loves you. You’re the one for him. He told me that many times over these past few weeks.”

You smile to yourself and look down at your ring finger. You’re still wearing the ring Tess gave you at her wedding, and you slowly slide it off your finger to make room for the new one you’ll be wearing…for the rest of your life.

From the corner of your eye, you see Tess looking at you closely and she’s trying to figure out what you’re thinking.

“I’m not having second thoughts, or anything like that.” you smile to yourself, “I love John. I love him more than I love myself. I would do anything for him.”

Tess pulls out her phone and calls her voicemail, “John left me this this morning before you were awake. He’s so sweet, listen to this.”

“Hey, I’m just now leaving to get the last of the things I need for tonight. She’s still asleep, hopefully she’ll be out for a few more hours. She was up pretty late last night, and she’s definitely getting suspicious. She’s so damn smart, and here I thought I was being sneaky. This will be the last time I try to hide anything from her for this long.”

The line goes silent and you look up at Tess, and she smiles wide, “Just wait.”

“Anyway, uh,” John takes a deep breath, then sniffles a little, “I can’t believe today is the day. Won’t lie, I’m fucking nervous. Part of me is still scared she’s gonna say no. I just want to make her happy for the rest of my life, that’s all I want. For her to be happy. Tess, I know you know this, but I love your sister a lot. Please take care of her today. I’ll see you later.”

You cover your face with your hands and smile so hard, your cheek begin to hurt, “Oh, my god.”

“Yeah, nearly vomited when I listened to it.” Tess teases and bumps your shoulder, “He is everything you have ever dreamed of in a man. He’s intelligent, he’s supportive, he is over the moon in love with you. He’s so damn caring and so selfless, he’s…weirdly funny. Do you realize how funny John is? He’s had me dying these past few weeks. His sense of humor is so dry.”

“He is very funny. One of the many reasons I’m so in love with him.”

“Oh, yeah, and he’s like ridiculously hot, but that’s just a bonus, I guess.” Tess says, and you let out a small laugh.

Getting up from the bed, you walk over to your closet and shuffle through all of your dresses. Too sexy, too frumpy, too floral. You don’t see anything that will be good for this moment. This moment that you’ll remember for the rest of your life.

Tess clears her throat and you look over your shoulder to see her holding up a garment bag. She shakes it in her hand, then points at a shoe box on the bed.

“For me?”

Tess laughs, “Who else? We picked out this dress for you and I picked out the shoes. John was hopeless.”

You smile to yourself as you walk over to Tess and reach for the bag. You slowly unzip it to see a white dress -- perfect for the occasion.

“It’s white.” you laugh, looking at it closely.

“Yeah, John liked that. There was one in red, but he thought the white was perfect. I agreed with him.” Tess says, and she pushes you to sit on the bed, “Let’s do your hair and makeup. Oh, and I’m taking a million pictures of you today. John told me to keep you distracted when we got back to the house.”

“He’s still setting up? Jesus, what is he doing?”

Tess laughs as she walks into the bathroom for your makeup, “He’s making today memorable for you.”

__

You’re getting engaged. You’re getting engaged. You’re getting engaged.

The thought keeps running through your head, and you’re growing more and more nervous. You don’t even know why you’re so nervous. This is all you’ve ever wanted. But you suppose everyone is probably nervous for this moment. It’s a huge moment, you’re allowed to feel nervous.

You grab a small glass from the cupboard and walk over to the pantry where John keeps his whiskey. You pour some in a glass and knock it back when Tess walks in.

“Ooh, I’m tellin’ John.” she teases.

You hold up the bottle and laugh, “He’s definitely been drinking some. My guess is he’s already taken a shot or two today.”

Tess claps her hands together and smiles, “You ready?”

Checking your reflection in the glass on the oven, you nod your head, then turn to Tess, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

Tess gestures for you to walk through the living room and she opens the side patio door for you, then hands you another card.

You happily take it and read it: “For clue number nine, go to the spot that’s yours and mine.”

“I have no idea where that is.”

“Down by the lake. We go there often with Bleu.” you look over your shoulder, wondering if John is down there already.

Tess exhales and walks onto the patio with you, “Well, this is where I leave you.”

“Thanks for coming with me, and thanks for helping him plan this.” you say and hug Tess, “I love you so much.”

“Love you more.” she says and sits down on your love seat, “I’m waiting here, I wanna see that ring.”

You take a deep breath and turn around as you begin to walk down to the lake -- down to John, “Here we go.”

__

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*i’m so sorry if i’m still tagging u and u dont want to be, just let me know!

[ultraklll]

Tony Miller as a Gun For Hire! Tagged by the lovely @envyfelled ! Ty! This was super fun! Also, I'm on mobile, so sorry for the garbo formatting! (Fun fact, tonys voice claim is laura bailey as fiona/fem!boss)

Paired With Fangs For Hire:

Boomer - "Heya buddy!" followed by excessive scratching behind the ears | "Fuckin' love this dog, can sniff out a peggie like shark sniffing out blood. Good trait to have! Awfully convenient too…" | [patpatapatptpataptap] | "Atta fuckin' boy Boomer!" When she sees him get a kill | "Who's a good boy! Who wants to kill some cultists!" | "Wanna play fetch? Rip out their necks?"

Peaches - "Good girl…" | stealth gang stealth gang | peaches: mows down peggies/tony: a baby!" | "I jus' think it's funny that when we went to the Henbane, we picked up a cougar, Addie, an actual cougar, Peaches, and joined a crew called the Cougars… Just'a thought," 

Cheeseburger - "This reminds me'a Vegas pride, saw plenty'a bears there too" | "Kinda ironic to find you in Jacob's region, all things considered," [snickers to herself] | [PATPATPATPATPATPAT] | "Get outta my pockets! These snacks are mine, not yours!" | "You remind me of those like, beware of dog signs, but the dog is always a sweetheart who'd rather play with a home invader rather than attack them," 

Paired With Other Guns For Hire:

Jess - stealth gang stealth gang stealth gang | Jess has a MASSIVE crush on Tony. Everyone can tell. Tony knows | jess: guns are fucking lame and the sniper rifle is the cowards weapon/ tony: uses a sniper rifle/ jess: actually sniper rifles are cool as fuck | "Good shot Jess!" "S-shit, um, thanks, Tony," 

Grace - sniper gang sniper gang!! | [steals a headshot Grace was lining up] "Cmon Gracie, thought you were meant to be Olympic level!" | highly competitive, do a shot whenever they get a perfect headshot to die instantly | smug top solidarity | also heavily depressed solidarity 

Adelaide - [acts like she's not sleeping with her nephew even tho Addie knows she definitely knows] | Tony is either constantly laughing or constantly face palming over the shit addie says | have gotten into an argument once bc addie said john was a top 

Nick - "What's up eye in the sky?" | [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [flirts over radio] [fli | Nick: speaks/Tony: god I just love the way you fucking talk | often talk about kim together | "Can we have a barbecue at your place once these fuckers are dealt with?" | [pretends not to be bitter the Deputy got to help deliver Carmina and not her]

Sharky - "Heya baby!" | [constant back and forth flirting. It's embarrassing] | any second they're both not talking is a second they're making out | Can and Will go john wick on some peggy ass if he gets hurt badly | "Do you wanna have a sleepover?" "Lemme ask my momma," | she calls him Charlie :> | loves him so so much they're just constantly talking about anything and everything | literally like A Comedic Duo. Have together for certified funnies

Hurk jr. - "Junior! This'll be just like Kyrat!" | competitions about who can shotgun a beer faster every 4 seconds | WILL tell you stories about their time in Kyrat together | Tony has punched Drubman sr in the nose before and she'll do it again | "Hey Tony? You still in contact with Ajay?" "He sends me a royal postcard every now n' then. Apparently it's boring being king, and his only solace is that his new bodyguard is cute," 

In Combat: 

Seeing an enemy - "Fucker in my sights," | "I got a bullet with your name on it… actually I don't, who the fuck has time to carve names in bullets, but you get the idea- im just gonna shoot you now" | "You're dead on arrival, shithead," 

Sneaking - "You'd think me sneaking is counter productive because I'm 6'4 and have a very loud gun, but you're the boss Dep," | "Shhhh… we're huntin' shitheads… Heard it in a game," | [shoots alarm boxes] "You ain't allowed to call your friends, you're all grounded," | *peggy triggers alarm* "Fuckin snitch!" 

Killing an enemy - "SKULLCRACKER!" | "I just don't miss!" | just fucking headshot after headshot after headshot | [sucks in breath through teeth] "God damn I'm good," | when shes not using her Wifle (wife rifle, a 45/70) she's being FUCKING EFFICIENT with her ak-ms or just blasting ribcages open with her shotgun

Reviving - "Up you get, baby," | "You ain't dying on me that easy, Dep" | "Not today Satan!" | "You gonna let some unwashed asshole kill you?" 

Hurt - "Motherfucker!" | "That's another scar I'll tattoo over," | "Thank god people find scars sexy," | "God fuck that's smarts!" 

Downed - "Dep! Give me a hand?" | "Clean up on Aisle 4 needed!" | "Don't worry about me, just bleeding out over here, no rush," 

Revived - "Drinks on me when this is over Dep," | "Thanks babe!" | "I'll kiss you when we get outta this mess," | "I owe ya!"

Driving: 

Entering a vehicle - "Lemme take over I'm a way better driver than you," | "Floor it!" | "Hang on I've got a mixtape, just hope I havent fuckin' crushed it," | [takes the opportunity to roll cigs] | *peggies roll up* "Keep her steady!" [leans out the window and headshots the peggie on their ass, causing them to crash the car, like that isnt the coolest shit you've ever seen] "Aight cool,"

Reckless Driving - "Watch the fuckin' road asshole!" | [desperately tryna grip the wheel so she can take over driving] | "STOP THE CAR! I'LL JUST FUCKING WALK!" | "Are you tryna kill us?! Fuckin' swap seats now!" | tony is the designated driver bc one she's fucking good at it and two shes also a really bad backseat driver. Just let her drive 

Changing Radio Stations - "Now don't tell Charlie I said this but some of the peggies music is actually good,"| "John's a prick but his music taste is fuckin' good," | [punches radio in when Only You comes on] "...Sorry… Force'a habit…" | "Bold and brave my ass, John looks like he needs help getting spiders out of rooms and wears fuzzy pink bathrobes," 

Idle: 

"Man, John's a freak, and yeah I mean that in the sexy way. Someone who demands so much outward control whilst being a shithead little brat likes to get trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey and stuffed like one too. Don't give me that look Dep, I'm right and we both know it," 

"That dude Jacob ate was called Miller?? God, that could've been me if I was much older and way uglier!" 

"Faith just makes me fuckin sad man. She's been manipulated and groomed into this life by fuckin Joseph- she's so goddamn young too. I'm not gonna tell you what to do Dep, but that's just my two cents,"

"Joseph's the worst kind of man- a manipulator. He tells you what you wanna hear, targets the misfortunate who have nothing left to lose, builds a fucking army out of em. The other heralds I'm ok with arresting, but Joseph's got to go,"

[Lights cig with either her fancy lighter or by striking a match on the bottom of her shoe] "Don't start smoking, Dep,  bad for your health," 

Location Specific: 

Testy Festy Aftermath - [pinches bridge of nose] "Not again…" | "Anyone got a water and like, 3 aspirin?" | "Ain't the first time I've woke up passed out in a field, won't be the last," | "Did we at least get a photo from the night? I've won the competitions here for the last 3 years in a row now, I'm not fuckin missing one cuz of these peggies," 

Falls End - "Fuckin shame to see Falls End like this, but Mary May and Jerome will take good care of her now weve got it back, they always do," | "Think we'll get free drinks for life at the Spread Eagle when this is all over? Actually, we probably won't even get free drinks for week, so for life is wishful thinking," | she enjoys playing with the singing fish on the front of the speed eagle and keeps tryna convince Mary May to let her take it for herself bc tony goddamn miller has the biggest singing fish collection in the entire county 

Seed Ranch - *loud whistle* "this place is swanky as fuuuuck… Not that big a fan of all the dead animals though…" | "IS THAT WEED ON THE TABLE? Johnny boy you fuckin' hypocrite!" | "Oh he's definitely got a secret room behind one of these bookshelves, like a home torture room? Oh my God, what if he has more than one...?" [starts frantically pulling books off shelves] | regarding his shelves with peggie memorabilia [takes baseball bat to it] | [pretends she's never been here as she frantically stuffs any of her own belongings she might've forgotten here into her bag]

Entering the Henbane - "Don't trust a goddamn thing you see here. You think you see something you're not supposed to, hit it," | [swinging at bliss induced angel/animal/faith visions] | "Can we try savin' Faith? Don't feel right killin' her, she's so young…" | "Can we go to Sharky's place? I left some stuff there that could be worth picking up,"

Hope County Jail - "Sheriff Whitehorse has always been a good man to me, Dep. Would appreciate it if he lived through this," | "I always feel like a giant whenever I come here, everyones like 5'3. Virgil, Tracey, Charles, all shortasses," | "I think it's cute they gave you a little pin! You're part of their Pride now! Or whatever the cougar equivalent is to a lions pride… do Cougars even travel in packs? Aside from when Addie used take the girls out for drinks,"

Entering the Whitetails - "Always feels like something's watchin' you in these woods. Keep your eyes peeled," | "Always felt like there's something in these woods that there ain't supposed to be…" | [Shifting from foot to foot] "Can we get a move on? Aint'a big fan of standing around waitin' to get shot by some fuckin' sniper with a bow," | [watching Jacob's video punishing Pratt] "I'll fuckin' get you outta here, Stace… you just gotta hold out a second longer," | [about all the dead bodies and 'you are meat' graffiti] "Love what Jacob's done with the place," 

The Wolfs Den - "Eli Palmer is a good fuckin man. Kind, smart, careful and ruthless against peggies. We've made a good friend here, Dep," | "Heya Wheaty! Got a few more vinyls for your collection! They're all my own though, so be careful with em," | "I don't think Tammy likes you that much Dep. I don't think she likes much of anything anymore, other than attaching jumper cables to Peggy's nipples… Oh god, my piercings hurt thinking about it," 

Joseph's Island - [hand firmly on rifle grip] | "Creepy, evil motherfucker, had him pegged right from the start. Well, not pegged. I'm not pegging Joseph. I'd rather stick my dick in a ceiling fan then go anywhere near him- I'm just gonna stop talking," | "You know what? No one else has asked it so I'm gonna- where the fuck does Joseph sleep.  In the church? In one of these houses? In the dirt somewhere? What if he hangs upside down from trees like a bat?"