#john and arthur's sibling dynamic is everything to me

[western-llemonsoda]

John is literally just a girl in this world

[sednonamoris]

life ain’t fair and the world is mean

Pairing: John Marston x gn!reader

Summary: Arthur’s decision after meeting with Mary Linton again leaves you caught between a rock and a hard place.

Warnings: Angst, so much dialogue, complicated love squares (?), sibling dynamics

Word count: 1,383

A/N: Felt absolutely deranged writing this ily all pls enjoy <3

Series masterlist • AO3

—

Everyone at camp knows Arthur got a letter from that Mary Linton.

As much as he swears up and down that whatever was between them is long over, you can tell the heartache hasn’t faded the moment his eyes land on the familiar cursive. He mouths along like he can taste her on the words she’s written.

You look away to give him his privacy and grimace something close to sympathy. Whatever it is she’s asking for after all this time, he’ll give it to her - at the very least he’ll go to her.

Poor bastard.

Almost-loves last longer and hurt more than real ones. You ought to know.

He rides off when early morning mist still clings to the lowest parts of the land with dewdrop fingerprints. Abigail watches him go with a pinched look on her face. John watches her watch him with a frown. You pretend not to notice any of it. 

Hosea does the opposite, actually seeking John out. John looks over at you helplessly, and you tip your hat with a faint smile just to watch his eyes widen with betrayal. You listen long enough to hear the beginnings of that wheezing cough you’ve worried over for weeks and a far be it from me interfering in your business before snagging an unmanned rifle and heading off on guard duty. Maybe Hosea will have better luck than you and Dutch and Arthur and Abigail and everyone else knocking some sense into him. 

It’s a pleasant spring day, warm with enough of a cool breeze to keep the worst of the heat and the bugs at bay. You find a spot to stand midway up the path and settle in against the bark of one of the taller maples. Sunlight filters through the canopy of leaves above and leaves everything dappled gold. You breathe in deep and sigh out springtime. Almost summer, now. 

Horseshoe Overlook has been good for the gang. Valentine is just big enough and just used enough to seasonal workers that you pass off fine, even despite Arthur’s determination to fight half the town. Strauss has him collecting debts already, and Dutch has asked that he see about Micah’s predicament over in Strawberry. You can’t say you miss having that one around, but loyalty is loyalty. Dutch would surely ask him to rescue any one of you if the situation were reversed.

In the meantime the girls have been sniffing out leads, and the boys have been robbing just about everyone they come across. For your part, you’ve been scoping out local homesteads and farms looking for anyone who seems to be sitting on decent animals or piles of cash. So far it doesn’t look like you’ll be lucky enough to find both. Guthrie Farms was your destination yesterday, and you think you’ll pay them another visit one of these nights to relieve them of some choice cattle. There’s a buyer up near Three Sisters in the market. 

In the back of your mind the concern about Cornwall and those bonds lingers, but so far it seems he’s been content to live and let live. Hopefully that lasts. You let the thought fade and settle in for a morning of boredom and birdsong. 

—

Your watch is almost up when someone rustles through the brush, approaching at a steady trot. 

“Who goes there?” you call out, and stand a little straighter with your gun. 

“Arthur, you dumbass!”

It’s only just afternoon - somehow you expected he’d be gone for the day at least.

“Such manners,” you mock, but pause once he’s close enough for you to see the look on his face.

He’s been crying, those cornflower eyes even sadder than normal. There’s a resigned stoop to his shoulders. A pinch between his brows. You wonder just what exactly Mary had to say after all this time.

He ducks his head and murmurs a halfhearted sorry.

“S’fine,” you dismiss with as kind a look you can manage. You tilt your head up at him when he lingers, looking like a deer caught out in the open.  

“Do you have a minute to talk, actually?” He can’t quite meet your eyes. 

“‘Course. Let me swap with Karen and I’ll meet you.”

He nods gratefully and rides up to the nearest hitching post while you do just that, a quick handoff with a look that begs her not to ask too many questions. Karen glances over to Arthur, then back to you, about as solemn as she gets. She nods you on your way before making her way into the treeline.

He’s waiting for you on the outskirts of camp, just past the chickens and partially hidden by a copse of half-grown saplings. 

“The hell did that Linton woman do to you?” you ask, hands on your hips. 

Arthur huffs a sarcastic laugh. “More what I did to her. She wanted my help - somethin’ to do with her brother. I told her it’s best we never speak again.”

You puff out a breath. “Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Arthur shifts in place, and you can tell there’s more to it. If he doesn’t know how to say it you doubt you’ll know how to answer, but you guess friends aren’t always for saying the right thing.

“Before I left she gave me back the ring I proposed with. I want, well,” he fumbles, “I been thinkin’ someone ought to do right by Jack and Abigail for a while now. Make sure they’re taken care of, since Marston won’t.”

Of all the things he might’ve said, you can’t decide if you should be more or less shocked that it’s this. Longing looks and stolen dances are one thing, but everyone knows Abigail and John are together, even when they’re not - especially when they’re not. 

“Jesus, is that why you told Mary you won’t see her anymore?”

“No! I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Why are you telling me?” The question is desperate, even to your ears. 

“Dutch an’ Hosea are too close to this, and everyone else is too far off. Guess I was hoping you’d be able to make more sense of it all than me.”

You laugh a terse, bitter laugh. “I ain’t too close? Really? All these years, Arthur, you been like a brother to me, but John— You know this ain’t fair.”

“Most things ain’t.” His eyes are pleading. Sad. Sorry. Damn him. “Just tell me if you think I’m bein’ a fool and I’ll leave it alone.”

And there you have to pause. Because is it really so foolish to want to give Abigail the partner she needs, and Jack the father figure he deserves? The way he looks at them is not lost on you. When he lost that young woman and little boy all those years ago he was inconsolable. In a lot of ways you think he still is, though he hides it everywhere but his eyes. More than anything you want him to be happy. You know that if Abigail will have him, he will be.

But you need John to be happy, too. 

And you feel like the worst person alive, because he isn’t happy with Abigail and he’s not happy without her, either. Mostly he just seems determined to be miserable and make it everyone else’s fault but his own. How the hell are you supposed to help Arthur without hurting John when every choice feels either selfish or spiteful or wrong. The love harbored deep in your bones marks you a traitor.

Because if you were any kind of friend you wouldn't say: “You’re always a fool, Arthur Morgan, but not ‘cause of this.”

But you do.

“Really?” he asks.

“Really.”

He smiles, a little bit of heartbreak and a little bit of hope. 

“After— Well, you know,” he cuts himself off, unable to say their names even after so long. “Feels like it could be a second chance, is all.”

“You believe in those?”

He sighs. “Not really.”

You try to smile, to reassure him, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. He clasps your shoulder in unspoken thanks before leaving you alone on the edge of camp with nothing but your thoughts and a sick feeling in your stomach.

—

When John comes around later that evening you can’t look him in the eye. 

[reconstructs]

some 2 am john marston braindump

john and arthur are the epitome of the golden child/scapegoat (respectively), until john became dutch’s scapegoat. john’s never been academically inclined but has always been cunning and skeptical. have lots of thoughts but i do definitely think that the stark age difference between dutch and john (dutch is 30-ish when he takes john in vs being only mid-20s when arthur is taken in) + the fact that dutch is quite literally the only father john has ever known makes this even more apparent. dutch is arthur’s father-figure but he’s always had hosea; while hosea's always been a paternal presence to john there’s always been an intrinsic bond between john and dutch. dutch taught everything john he knows about gunslinging and hunting and fishing, areas where john excels compared to arthur. arthur’s ‘i just always thought everything came easy to you’ makes me :(((

their sibling dynamic means sm to me n they both deserved better when it came to their pasts fr, but john genuinely cannot conceptualize any sort of family outside of the gang which is why he leaves, understanding dutch’s true nature before anyone really does (+also being a deadbeat dad), then comes back a year later.

john's unable to cope with his grief over arthur's death, and when the opportunity arises to get revenge on micah, he gets tunnel vision and eagerly takes it. of course, this is at the cost of his own life as his actions would have dire consequences; but there's no way it wasn't, at least in a small way, what he wanted. after spending years purposely creating chaos to emulate his life in the gang, he's proved he's unable to fully move on from the past.

as for high/low honor, my john is probably medium, teetering very close to low honor and is outright dishonorable while working for ross.. while i think arthur’s story and arc is about redemption, john’s has always been about survival. he’s never quite believed he’s had a choice. some trees flourish, others die. and he’s done whatever it takes for his family, whether said family is the van der linde gang, arthur, or abigail and jack, to live and thrive even if it’s all been in vain, and even if it’s involved doing the worst things a person can do. also a habit he’s learned from dutch, lmao.

speaking of which - so many of the toxic, manipulative habits and tendencies he’s taken on as a father are learned from dutch and somewhat unlearned in beecher’s hope with jack. a large part of their tragedy is that the day john died is the day that he and jack were finally on the same wavelength. they'd spent so long misunderstanding one another.

also – my john is blind in his left eye, with some light perception, and by 1911 regularly wears an eyepatch to aid in gunslinging and hunting. the visual impairment occurred as a result of being attacked by wolves in 1899; it also means he has no depth perception and is susceptible to being ambushed by those who know about it (looking at javier for throwing that box on top of him in rdr1, lmao). it has helped him as a gunslinger, though.

moreover. my john's hat is arthur's hat with feathers added that charles gave to him, and his classic revolver is dutch's :')

[call-sign-shark]

Alright, I've been jumping on this notification far too quick! Just before I start my apologies if my comment is all messy but I'm still so tired, like the weekend off didn't really work lmao.

Brummie, this is a fascinating and well-deserved breather in your story. I really appreciate how you're taking up things more slowly in this chapter, taking care to describe all the scenes with little Archie that got sent back with the flowers as well as displaying the family dynamics between the Shelby. I think I've never told you that but I am just plainly in love with the way you're writing Polly. She seems so in character, like the perfect embodiment of how she is in S1. I was so surprised 'cause you've managed to make me empathize a lot with Archie while he's just a secondary character. But with the help of a very few lines such as "Birmingham had also taken the joys of childhood from their children too" I've felt attached to him. Now I know the apologies part is the main topic of your incredible chapter (and I'll talk about it later) but my favorite part is really the banter between the two brothers and their Aunt. I don't know how you do it but each time you're writing interactions between them it's exactly like it is in the show. No, sometimes it is even BETTER. You're nailing the demeanor of each character incredibly well, and do not get me started on your ability to write dialogues. I've always felt so unconfident when it comes to dialogue and here you are, writing them as if you were a brilliant scenarist. Just wow Brummie.

Also, your writing of Arthur gets me squealing, kicking my feet, and slamming my face against the desk each time. First of all, I can hear his gruff voice in each line you wrote? Like?? Wtf?? His interaction with Archie was so rough and adorable at the same time, as well as his childish mannerisms with him stealing a biscuit or attempting to go for his Aunt's cup of tea, thus earning a slap behind the head. Also, your John is breathtaking. I nearly died from laughing at him arguing his bad handwriting meant he was as clever as a doctor. He's such a funny idiot I swear. "His Royal Highness" Polly said nodding to Tommy's office door as she picked up her now lukewarm cup of tea." Polly being a sassy queen as always .👌 Talking about the brothers' and family's dynamics, the scene in which Tommy realizes the bouquets have been sent back to him right in front of his siblings is such a satisfying moment of mild humiliation, something Tom really deserved after attempting to do everything to ruin Y/N's life. As satisfying as John and Arthur mocking him when Y/N comes in. I loved the description of her face being like thunder, I don't know if it's a British idiom or not but this is such a badass metaphor.

" It's a poem, by Sir Edmund Spense" Arthur sniffed as Tommy and John looked at each other, bewildered by the mere idea Arthur did anything other than beat their enemies within an inch of their let alone read or to be more specific read poems [...] "I read" Arthur said as his brothers continued to stare at him, perplexed by what they had just heard." In me spare time"

You knew I would talk about that part right? Brummie, darling, I am ... When I tell you I squealed in my bed when I read this I'm not lying. I. Squealed. Like a squeaky toy. This suits Arthur's sensitive artistic senses SO WELL. This part is one of the greatest examples of your talent at characterization but also as understanding SK's characters in depth. He's my sweet and sometimes psychotic little meow meow.🥹 

The end of my non-sensical comment is going to encompass the two confrontations between Y/N and Tommy. After five years of hidden rage, I can perfectly understand why she is so fierce and refuses to even hear him. Yes queen, he's been an idiot. I know some people can be frustrated by this reaction but personally, I ADORE the fact she's standing up. While reading I felt like her inner child came back to the surface, ready to kick Tommy in the bollocks. This part was insanely powerful: "Stop calling me that!" You cried brushing his attempts away as you walked past him to his office door. You weren't his sweetheart, you weren't his childhood love, you weren't his girl. It was over, all of it over." Nevertheless, I couldn't help but find it cute the moment Tommy claims she's her girlfriend in front of Freddie's friend, that's such an endearing jealous reaction. 🤭 About the apologies themselves... This was one of the most emotional scene I've read in a while. Maybe it has something to do with the fact Tommy never apologies canonically, or with how you tend to write him as this really explosive and despicable love interest in your outstanding works, but reading him apologizing did something to me. The fact he's realizing he's been an idiot, says it out loud and kisses Y/N's cheek is so tender, so adorable that I smiled, sincerely relieved. In this scene, I also love how realistic you kept Y/N's reaction. I mean: "...night" you managed to coax from your lip's as you turned your head to watch him leave, listening intently to the sound of his heavy footsteps walking down the stairs as you desperately tried to think of something to say." This is once again so... perfect. Such as the ending with Tommy gifting her three posy flowers to refer to the times they were younger.

However, I could not help but fear for the next chapter. If it's like Killing Me Softly we're going to have 10 chapters right? Since I know you're the queen of the angst, I fear more drama is coming... But that's what we like teehee.😈 Fascinating chapter, as always babe! You're doing the work of God here. And now, expect another long-ass comment for She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not. So sorry for the delay!

PREVIOUS PART

Hopelessly Devoted (PART SIX)

Summary: Tommy has to reluctantly learn a lesson in boundaries after his heated confrontation with you about his foolish plan to get you to talk with him. Will Tommy finally throw in the towel and back down from his relentless refusal to let things play out at their own pace? Or will his stubbornness get the better of him once again?

Warnings: Language, angst, mutual pining, fluff

"Archie?" Polly said quirking a brow as she looked over the documents in her hand at the young boy stood at the betting shop door. " Finn's at school" she added as she turned in her chair, a tight smile gracing the corner of her lips as she beckoned him forward with her hand. " Does your mum know you're here bunking off?" She said removing his peaked cap as Archie looked down at the plate of shortbread next to the steaming cup of tea on Polly's desk. "Go on" she said nodding to them with a smile as his eyes lit up and he reached out for the biggest one on the small porcelain plate.

" Mum said I didn't have to go school today" he replied, mouth half full, his rosy red cheeks nipped by the bitter winter air ballooned with the entirety of the biscuit he had managed to fit in his mouth. "Doing deliveries for Mr Patterson at the flower shop, need the extra money now dad's been sacked by the rail works" he replied wiping his mouth as he looked down at his muddy boots, one missing a shoe lace, the other with a patched up hole on the side. Archie was one of many Small Heath children that had found themselves having to help provide for their families, forgoing education over the necessity to eat. The great war having taken the lives and jobs of many men of Birmingham had also taken the joys of childhood from their children too. Times were hard and sacrifices had to be made. Polly was not one to judge any parents decision to pull their son or daughter out of school, she only wished Archie and those like him had the chance to be children for a little while longer. For what was a summers days without the sound of kids playing outside in the street?

" Go on, have another" she winked as Archie replied with a grin that only deepened his enviable dimples whilst he picked out a second shortbread." Well I know I don't have any secret admirers Archie..." Polly said rubbing one of the rose petals between her fingers within the bouquet of flowers under the small boys arm."...so who's the lucky lady?"

" Mr Shelby" he replied brushing the crumbs of the newly stitched winter coat his mum had lovingly made for him.

" Tommy?" Polly said furrowing her brow as she looked over his shoulder to her nephew sitting at his desk in his office when Arthur and John walked in, slamming the betting shop door behind them. Five minutes peace, that's all she ever prayed for every Sunday at mass. Was it really too much to ask?

" Archie boy!" Arthur's voice boomed as he strode over, rustling the ten year old hair with his large calloused hands. " What you doing here ay? Skiving?" Arthur chuckled as he sat down on the edge of the desk pinching a biscuit from his Aunt, earning him a sharp glare and a irritated huff.

"Working" he replied standing up straight with his chin up. He was one of them now, a grown man or at least he thought he was, his muddy knees and youthful face begged to differ.

" Working ay, good lad" Arthur winked patting his shoulder as he reached for his Aunt's cup of hot tea, earning him a second glare and this time a smack on the back of his hand. No one was too old for a good hiding in Polly's eyes, something her grown nephews had learnt over the years as they continued to test her patience.

" Schools a bloody waste of time anyway Archie" John said turning his toothpick between his lips.

" Yes, a lot of good it did you and your crooked handwriting" Polly quipped back, a small smirk etched on the corner of her mouth as she returned her gaze to the documents on her desk.

" It's called doctors hand writing, alright?" John replied with a scowl on his face.

" Esme tell you that?" Arthur chuckled watching his brothers frustration at being the brunt of his families teasing.

" No it's, it's how doctors write. You know intellects" he replied pointing to the side of his head.

" Aright John boy whatever let's you sleeps at night" Arthur sniggered as he looked down at the bunch of roses in Archie's hand. " Who are these for then?"

" His Royal Highness" Polly said nodding to Tommy's office door as she picked up her now lukewarm cup of tea.

" Tommy ay? Come on then lad, let's not keep Mr Patterson waiting on any more deliveries" Arthur said as Archie nodded his head following him and John into Tommy's office.

"Arthur, John...Archie?" Tommy said, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth as he looked up from his desk, surprised to see his Finn's friend standing in the middle of the room with the bouquet he had picked out for you in his hand. And was that the card he had written for you, torn up? " She erh, she wasn't home? Tommy said clearing his throat as he stubbed his cigarette out, his eyes glaring at the handwritten note between the flowers. It was definitely ripped. Shit.

" She told me to..." Archie said as he looked to John and Arthur stood next to him trying to hold back their amusement. Their poor attempts not enough to stop the small snorts and sniggers they hadn't bothered to muffle from escaping.

"Yes?" Tommy said, his jaw tightening at the sight of his brothers clear enjoyment at the whole situation.

" ...to send them back" Archie said as Arthur John burst into a fit of laughs.

" Bloody hell Tommy, what woman sends flowers back? How many did you give her? John laughed as Arthur let out a loud snort.

" Seven" Archie quickly stated on behalf of him, not realising the further embarrassment it would cause the notorious gangster who had now sunk into his chair, his thumb brushing along his brow as the laughs of his brothers resonated through the betting shop.

" Alright, thanks Archie" Tommy said rubbing his hand down his face as the young boy left, leaving the bouquet of red roses with Arthur with a tip of his peaked cap.

" Seven bouquets ay" Arthur said inspecting them as Tommy looked out the window, his grandiose gesture now looking like a pathetic plea for forgiveness.

" She won't fucking talk to me will she" Tommy said lighting another cigarette as John and Arthur hunched over the table puzzling the pieces of card together you had ripped in a clear message directed at Tommy to fuck off.

" Roses are red, violets are blue..." John laughed before Tommy reached over and grabbed the note before his brother could read any more of his feeble attempt to be romantic.

" Sir Edmund Spense" Arthur said nodding to the card as he leaned against the wall, his thumbs resting in the pockets of his waistcoat.

" You what?" John said his face scrunched up as he turned to look at his eldest brother.

" It's a poem, by Sir Edmund Spense" Arthur sniffed as Tommy and John looked at each other, bewildered by the mere idea Arthur did anything other than beat their enemies within an inch of their let alone read or to be more specific read poems. Even Tommy hadn't scaled through a copious amount of books in order to find the romantic passage, the back of yesterday mornings paper had been enough. " I read" Arthur said as his brothers continued to stare at him, perplexed by what they had just heard." In me spare time"

" You're going soft" John said pointing to his brother as Tommy raised his brows shifting in his seat. " Never put Y/N down for a fan of poems"

" She's not, I was running out of things to say weren't I. Tommy replied looking over to the glass decanter of whisky calling to him. Was it too early to drown his sorrows for the billionth time that week?

" Yeh, wouldn't let her hear you say that" John chuckled placing a new tooth pick between his teeth, the other having been chewed to death by the ribbing he received from Polly and Arthur. "Why don't you just say I dunno, sorry. Like normal people do"

" She's avoiding me John, she won't give me a chance" Tommy replied as he looked out the window wishing himself into next week or better yet, next year. Maybe then you'd be more willing to talk to him.

" Well you're in luck Tom, 'cause here she is. With a face on her like thunder" Arthur smirked, nodding to the glass separating his office and the betting shop floor.

" Where is he, where is the rat bastard?!" You shouted storming through the building not stopping for anyone.

" Oh hell, what's he done now?" Polly said looking above her tea cup as you marched over to her, waving your arms erratically in the air, incoherent rambles leaving your mouth about her seconded born nephew as the three brothers watched on from behind the glass.

" I'd say you've got about five seconds" Arthur said as he looked out the window onto the back of the house.

" Jump and roll, don't land on your feet" John added to Arthur's observation as he peered over his brothers shoulder out the window.

" Else you'll do your knees in, but I reckon that's the least of your worries" Arthur said as he looked over to Tommy brushing his hands through his hair, bracing himself for the bollocking coming his way. "Shit, she's clocked you" Arthur announced turning around as your head snapped in the direction of the three of them. This was more than about the flowers, Tommy knew that. He had pried into your life for a second time. The only thing he could hope for was you didn't know about the first. And with the absence of a lethal weapon in your hand his hopes were optimistically high.

" Thomas fucking Shelby!" You shouted marching through his office, grabbing the flowers from his desk and launching them straight at his head, silently hoping Mr Patterson had left the thorns on. "You bastard! You bloody bastard"

" Look, I know you're angry but let me explain" Tommy said with his hand out as he watched yours clasp around the bronze sculpture of a horse sitting on his desk that was sure to knock him out if you threw it. After having a variety of household items thrown at him in in the past week he knew you wasn't bluffing, your face said it all you were pissed off, really pissed off.

" No I'm not angry Tommy I'm fucking furious!" you said, your face scrunched up in anger as you stared him down, waiting for him to admit what he had done.

" Arthur, John can you...can you give us a minute?" Tommy said as he walked forward only to stop when he saw your grasp on the bronze ornament tighten. " Lads, please" Tommy said gesturing to the door as he watched you in the corner of his eye. Sighing heavily Tommy turned to his desk as his brothers walked out leaving you alone together, leaving him to face yet another stupid idea he was responsible for. "Cigarette?" he offered holding his silver case out for you to take which you did, and then threw on the floor beside you. " Right" Tommy said as he sat down in his chair pinching his bottom lip together as he looked back at you, furious as the the night he had drunkenly embarrassed himself in front of the whole of Watery Lane. "You won't talk to me Y/N" he said lighting his third cigarette in the space of fifteen minutes.

" So you decided to force me to talk to you by sabotaging not one but three potential job offers"

" I didn't sabotage them. I merely informed them that you already had a job here, as my secretary" Tommy replied pointing his finger into his desk.

" But I dont do I Tommy? You fired me, remember?" You scoffed, a scoff you hoped would not only distract him but you from the tears welling in your eyes.

" Sweetheart look, can..." Tommy was about to say when your eyes narrowed in on him and he stopped himself before he infuriated you any more than you already was. " Y/N, can we talk as adults? Sit down without, throwing anything?" he said gesturing to your hand still resting on the statue.

" Are you patronising me?" You replied, your voice going up an octave at his suggestion you were being immature when for the past five years he had been far from mature himself.

" No I'm just...fuck sake, I can't win with you" Tommy replied throwing his hand up in the air as he leaned back into his chair shaking his head.

"No you can't, so stop meddling in my life Tommy. Stop ruining every chance I have to move on"

" And that's what you want? To move on?" Tommy reluctantly asked as he looked back to you, the uncomfortable weight now sitting on his chest making him wish he never asked the question at all.

" Yes" you replied turning your head, unable to face him and the truth that you couldn't and wouldn't ever be able to stop loving him, stop wanting him.

" You're lying Y/N, I could always tell when you're lying" Tommy said as he stood up slowly walking over to you like you would a wild horse.

"You need to let me be, let me move on" you sniffed back as your eyes cast down to the floor. " Isn't that what you've been doing, moving on? I gave you space Tommy, I gave you what you wanted for five years even though it was breaking my heart and all I wanted you to do was hold me in your arms" You said wiping your tears, furious at yourself for letting him see you this way.

"Then let me ey, let me hold you" Tommy said moving closer, his hand reaching out for you. " Sweetheart..."

"Stop calling me that!" You cried brushing his attempts away as you walked past him to his office door. You weren't his sweetheart, you weren't his childhood love, you weren't his girl. It was over, all of it over. " Boundaries Tommy, you need to learn some boundaries. Learn to leave me alone" you said opening his door looking back at the defeat on his face as you recomposed yourself. " And Tommy?" You said turning one last time before shutting the door. " If you call me sweetheart one more time I swear to god you'll find the sharp end of that ugly horse ornament aimed straight at your cock, and this time I promise you, I won't miss" and with that you left, shutting the door behind you as Tommy watched you walk past the glass on the opposite of his office, your head held high as you brushed your hair to one side not giving him a second glance. He had been told off look a naughty school boy, and just like a child he was in for the biggest lesson of his life, patience.

"I wasn't really going to throw it" you said sat beside Ada in the Garrison as she rocked Karl back and forth in his pram. "I mean, I was tempted" you added unable to hold back your laugh as Ada giggled into her glass of gin. " Ada I don't know what's gotten into me. I just want to kill him...all the time. And the worse part is I think he was trying to say sorry, and I didn't let him" you sighed bringing your hand up to your face as you closed your eyes, having recounted what had happened in Tommy's office and everything else in the past month to his younger sister at lightening speed. The rapid pace of your account of events clearly fuelled by the anger still lingering within you.

" Hey" Ada said moving your hand away, her face scrunched up with concern. "Nothings gotten into you, more like what's gotten out of you. Five years worth of pent up anger would drive anyone to the point of wanting to wring my idiot brothers neck" she said as she looked at the bags under your eyes, Tommy always did have a knack for making people feel as sleep deprived and knackered as him. "You've been bottling it up for far too long locked away in that flat.." she said as she raised her brow ready to give you a bitter reality check. "...not living"

" What...I've been living" you scoffed leaning back into your chair as you crossed your arms. " I'm breathing aren't I?"

" Right, tell me then. When's the last time you let your hair down and you know, had some fun?" she replied mirroring your actions, crossed armed ready for whatever lie you had convinced yourself of.

" Well, there's..." you said furrowing your brow trying desperately to think back to the last time you actually laughed, did Arthur's endearing jokes count? " Well I can't, can I? Not with him gallivanting about with god knows who stealing the fun from everyone else" you pouted, resolving to the fact you hadn't had a proper nights out in years.

" If you call moping about day and night complaining about you, then sure he's had as much fun as you" Ada replied taking a grizzly baby Karl out his pram as she lifted her blouse to feed him. " If it bothers you that much then kindly bugger off " Ada said turning to the group of workmen shaking their heads seated a few tables away as they took their glasses and moved to the bar. "And before you even say anything, that barmaid was all for show, he was angry. I'm sorry he picked the worse way possible of showing you babe" Ada said reaching her hand out for you giving it a gentle squeeze. " Why don't I set you up with someone, one of Freddie's friends, for a date" she suggested nudging her arm with yours, a mischievous glint in her eye.

" But Tommy...his your brother..I"

" Y/N stop. You're allowed to go out even if it's just for a bit of fun" She cut you off as she brought Karl up to her shoulder, gently patting his back.

" Ada Thorne, why do I get the feeling you just want me to piss him off" you squinted at her as a smile formed on the corner of your mouth. It wouldn't hurt to give him a taste of his own medicine. You thought to yourself knowing he had his henchman still keeping their eye on you.

" Hm, whatever made you think that?" she winked to you as the Garrison doors blew open and the very man who had been the topic of conversation for the past hour walked in. "Speak of the devil. Here he is, tail between his legs" Ada nodded to the door as she placed Karl back into his pram.

" More like a dog with a bone" you huffed as you turned to see him walking straight for you. God, what did he want now?

" Boundaries" Tommy said standing beside you as you sipped on your drink, crossing one leg over the other.

" Yes and? " you replied bluntly as you diverted your eyes elsewhere, the stained-glass of the Garrison windows for one.

"Well, I need some clarifications" he said as he walked around the table, now directly in front of you. Fuck sake.

" Clarifications, what do you want me to do write you a list?" You scoffed as Tommy carefully considered his reply. A list would make his life easier.

" Y/N, you gotta give me something. What do you want me to do?" he replied with a huff, abandoning the idea of a catalogue of what he could and couldn't do as he placed both of his hands on the table looming over you. Fuck you look tired. Was that his fault too?

" Fuck off Tommy, that's what I want you to do" you said scraping your chair back along the wooden floorboards as you got up and left the Garrison, leaving him for a second time that day clueless on what to do next.

"Oh Tommy, you won't be able to bring her around with your charm this time. I'm afraid this is something a quick fuck down by the cut won't fix. You need to try harder" Ada said as she stood up putting her coat on.

" I'm trying Ada, but she'll barely talk to me"

" Yeh I heard about your attempts to win her back. Seven bouquets of flowers, her place looked like a bloody graveyard Tommy, hardly romantic" she said rolling her eyes as she turned the pram to the door.

" How was I supposed to know she didn't like flowers any more?" Tommy huffed as he followed his sister out the Garrison. Maybe Ada knew something he didn't that would win you back...he hoped.

" You know Y/N better than anyone Tommy, you must have known she wouldn't have liked that tacky show of wealth. And don't even get me started on your attempts to get her attention" Ada said struggling to push the pram through the thick mud and dirt of Small Heath. " Do you not remember the flowers you used to pick her and how long you'd spend doing it?" Ada stopped, looking up at her brother as the realisation finally hit him. That over the top plea of forgiveness may have cost him a day's wages but only now did he realise how it must have come across. A cop out. And as Ada so rightfully said, tacky." She didn't fall in love with this Tommy, the Tommy that has to show everyone his worth, his status. She fell in love with this one" she said pulling out the gold pocket watch you had gifted him ten years ago from within his waistcoat that had been back in its rightful place for over a week. " Stop being the worst version of yourself and show her who's she been missing, who she fell in love with. And for the love of god stop being a bloody idiot" she said before turning onto watery lane as a glimmer of a smile played on the corner of Tommy's lips at his sister brutal but well-deserved parting words.

How many more people was it going to take before he let his stubbornness slide and took their advice. It would admittedly be the hardest thing he had ever had to do, no doubt driving him mad in the process. Tommy thought to himself deciding to call of his men from keeping an eye on you or as he corrected anyone who dared to challenge him on the matter, keeping you safe. If he was going to do this he would do it the correct way, without the grand displays or need of theatrics. For the first time in a long time Tommy was going let things play out at their own pace, relenting all control over the situation his was so desperate to resolve.

Tea why did you offer him a tea? You thought to yourself climbing the stairs with the friend of Freddie's Ada had set you up with. The evening had been a disaster. Henry, your date, had spent the entirety of the night talking about his one and only passion politics, something you had little to zero interest in. Opening the door to your place you mentally reminded yourself to have words with Ada about the complete bore she had set you up with and clarification as to what she considered a good night out, because this certainly wasn't it.

" Nice place" he said entering your small bedsit. Was he joking? It was the pokiest flat in Small Heath, nothing worked and you was pretty sure a small family of mice had moved in and made it their life's mission to steal any form of food you left out for more than five minutes.

" Thank you" you said gesturing for him to sit at the small table by your window as you turned to make the tea you was reluctantly going to have to prepare whether you wanted to or not. Desperate to get him to leave and as quick as possible you decided to forgo boiling any water and instead planned on making him the coldest brew of tea known to man. That would do the trick, wouldn't it? " Here" you said placing the small mug in front of him as your mind wandered to what had really been occupying your thoughts all evening. Tommy.

" That was quick" he replied scrunching his brow as he looked into the murky water, a few tea leaves floating on the top. "You not having one?"

" Oh no, not a fan of...that " you said twiddling your thumbs on your lap as you looked at the less than delightful concoction you had created.

" Did you even boil.." he started to say causing your cheeks to turn bright red as your brain scrambled to come up with an excuse when, as if you had been saved by a higher power there was a knock at that door.

" Excuse me" you said walking away, grateful for the opportunity to leave any further interrogations about your tea making skills. "Tommy..."

" Hey" he replied softly, a smile appearing on the corner of his mouth as you opened your front door. " You've company" he said clearing his throat looking over your shoulder to see a man sitting at your kitchen table as he threw the small posy of flowers he had been holding behind his back along the outer wall of your bedsit.

" Tommy, I mean Mr Shelby. I...I thought you two weren't erhh" he stumbled, fumbling to grab his coat, abandoning the cold cup of tea he was sure you didn't boil any water for. "Together" he said swallowing harshly as he stood at the door beside you both.

" We're no.." you replied before Tommy cut your off.

"We are" Tommy said moving out of the way of the exit as he gestured for him to leave, irritated by the mere fact he had taken one extra second to do so. With the biggest scoff you could muster you crossed your arms as you stared him down. We are...is that what the past five years had been then, a bump in the road a bloody break?

"Thanks for ruining my date" you said marching over to the cup and throwing it's contents into the sink as Tommy shut the door behind him.

" What with Henry Coggs? Interesting choice for a date. Did he not bore you to death with his political crap?" Tommy chuckled as he watched you potter around your place trying to avoid any conversation with him.

" No, I found it really interesting actually" you lied and badly. " Tommy what do you want? I thought I told you to..."

" Fuck off?" he said sitting on the edge of your table as you stood in front of him.

" Leave me alone" you rephrased as he cocked a brow at your forgetful or intentional lack of memory as to what your actual parting words were to him in the Garrison a few days ago.

" And I have. I wanted to come here and say that you're right that..."

" Oh so you don't have to be a complete drunk to admit when you're wrong" you cut him off, your guard up ready for an argument you was sure would happen.

" You really want to start?"

" Ok then, let's hear what Tommy Shelby has to say? Actually no, forget it. Please leave" you said turning to the door when he grabbed your arm and span you back around to face him.

"Y/N can you just.." Tommy huffed as he tried to keep you in place. " Will you just hear me out?" he added as he placed his hand on your other arm, holding you in front on him. " Please?" He said as you found yourself nodding, stumped for words, slightly taken aback by his willingness to open up. " I..." Tommy said wetting his bottom lip with his tongue, his mouth suddenly going dry. Could he really do this without drinking a whole bottle of whisky beforehand?

" I've been an idiot" he said pausing as you rolled your eyes. Well that was the biggest understatement of the year. You thought to yourself as you turned to walk away again. "I broke my own heart Y/N, you didn't do anything wrong, you never did anything wrong" he said the words you never expected to hear causing you to stop. " I've..shit, I'm fucking this up" he said looking up at the ceiling, shaking his head as his mind uncomfortably replayed all times he had hurt you.

" No you're not, keep going. Please" you said turning around to face him.

"I made your life miserable Y/N, all because I couldn't stand how miserable I'd made my own. Pathetic aren't I ?" he said placing his hand back on your arm his thumb gently rubbing over the soft fabric of your blouse. " I don't expect you to ever forgive me for the five years of hell I put you through, I'd be a fool to think you would. But I need you to know that I regret everything, everything I've ever done that's hurt you, that's made you cry. It's all been my fault darling, I should have never made you think it was yours " he sighed, the words he had been wanting to say for the past week if not the past five years spilling out of him as if they had been patiently waiting there, waiting for him to break down the iron wall he had built around himself. Speechless you stood there, not knowing what to say, what to do as you let his words sink in. This was possibly the first time you had ever heard Tommy admit to anything let alone his own wrongdoings. And yet he had, and as you stood there staring at eachother in silence you finally came to realise what the other had endured, had regretted. The heartache you had both thought was your own had been a heartache shared, one that was now enveloping you both in a warm hug as you finally understood each others pain. " Its getting late I should probably go" he said breaking the silence and the small bubble you had both momentarily found yourselves in. "Goodnight Y/N " Tommy said as he leaned forward pressing a kiss to your cheek, the small embrace feeling the most natural thing for him to do in the moment as his lips lingered on your soft skin for a few seconds longer in hopes you would say something, do something. But you just stood there, his unexpected confession keeping you frozen in place as a rush of emotions that you had pushed to the side for five years came hurtling towards you.

"...night" you managed to coax from your lip's as you turned your head to watch him leave, listening intently to the sound of his heavy footsteps walking down the stairs as you desperately tried to think of something to say. " Tommy wait" you called out as you ran to your door only to see he had was already left, the gate at the bottom of the stairs swinging open and close as a gust of wind blew a scattering of leaves onto the steps below you. Leaning against the door frame you brought your hand up to your head as you closed your eyes, pushing your thumb into the skin between your brows as you cursed yourself for not saying anything in response to his attempts at making amends. Was that all it took? Had you forgiven him already? You thought to yourself as you opened your eyes and looked down at the rickety wooden stairs to see a posy of flowers with a small card buried within them sitting on the weather beaten wood. Wrapping your arms around your body from the cold you sat down beside the small bouquet held together by twine. One, two, three flowers, you smiled as you counted them within the various leaves and foliage. How long had it taken him to find possibly the only three flowers still alive in Small Heath after the deluge of rain and bitter weather the whole of Birmingham had endured for the past month. You thought to yourself knowing exactly who had abandoned them on the steps in front of your home, the small gesture tugging at your memories of times before when Tommy had gone out of his way to do the very same thing. Pulling out the small card your heart skipped a beat, your eyes welling with tears at the two words staring back at you, the two words you never felt you deserved, that you felt worthy of from the very man who had written them.

"I'm sorry"

(Part Seven coming soon!)

Tag list: @cosniffee @jonsncws @powellssaturn @jessimay89 @bruher @riseandreigns4u @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @chimchimjiminie16 @gaslysainz @calicoootalks (unable to tag) @weaponizedvirtue @vlryexsworld (unable to tag) @shittyprofilebutfuckit @peakyswritings @kammsinn @mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @cherryslyce @esquivelbianca @taliawz (unable to tag) @answer-the-sirens @dielgonacoffee @cicilysgrace @nadloves @fanatics30 @httyd-marauders @beeposstuff @yeppaweshallsee (unable to tag) @ja-4-leyvam (unable to tag) @xmariakx @slighltyaboveaverageiq (unable to tag) @fairypitou @youngbananamilkshake @call-sign-shark @peakyltd @jeysbae @muhahaha303 @mornixgstar18 @adaydreamaway08 @atomicsaladapricotcreator (unable to tag) @1lellykins @duckybird101 @warrior-of-justice @amberpanda99 @ @mrstargayen09 @synx-h (unable to tag) @gypsy-girl-08 @in0320 @sherbitdibdab @vizzzashley @cinematicdilfs (unable to tag) @twlegit

[mutuallyassured]

some john marston braindump:

was born to an ashkenazi jewish mother & father in new york - his mother died during childbirth which left himself and his father to their own devices. he was born in new york but his father emigrated to chicago due to transient railroad work.

john's name at birth was jonathan markowski, but his father started going by marston once they moved to chicago for the sake of finding work. after his father died in a bar fight on their tenement floor when he was 8, john simply started going by john and the records at the orphanage he lived in for several years (from when he was 8 until he was 12, aka when he ran away) have him down as john marston.

john wouldn't be in touch with his jewish identity until being taken in by dutch, who helped/encouraged him to celebrate high holidays as much as they could. that fell off as the years went on until beecher's hope.

john and arthur are the epitome of the golden child/scapegoat (respectively), until john became dutch's scapegoat. john's never been academically inclined but has always been cunning and skeptical. have lots of thoughts but i do definitely think that the stark age difference between dutch and john (dutch is 30-ish when he takes john in vs being only mid-20s when arthur is taken in) + the fact that dutch is quite literally the only father john has ever known makes this even more apparent. dutch is arthur's father-figure but he's always had hosea; while john has always had hosea as a father-figure, there's always been an intrinsic bond between john and dutch. dutch taught everything john he knows about gunslinging and hunting and fishing, areas where john excels compared to arthur.

as for high/low honor, my john is probably medium, teetering very close to low honor. while i think arthur's story and arc is about redemption, john's has always been about survival. he's never quite believed he's had a choice. some trees flourish, others die. and he's done whatever it takes for his family, whether it's the van der linde gang, arthur, or abigail and jack, to live and thrive even if it's all been in vain, and even if it's involved doing the worst things a person can do. also a habit he's learned from dutch, lmao.

speaking of which - so many of the toxic, manipulative habits and tendencies he's taken on as a father are learned from dutch and somewhat unlearned in beecher's hope with jack. will elaborate more l8r.

also -- my john is blind in his left eye, with some light perception, and by 1911 regularly wears an eyepatch to aid in gunslinging and hunting. the visual impairment occurred as a result of being attacked by wolves in 1899; it also means he has no depth perception and is susceptible to being ambushed by those who know about it (looking at javier for throwing that box on top of him in rdr1, lmao).

[mediumhonors]

some braindump:

was born to an ashkenazi jewish mother & father in new york - his mother died during childbirth which left himself and his father to their own devices. he was born in new york but his father emigrated to chicago due to transient railroad work.

john’s name at birth was jonathan markowski, but his father started going by marston once they moved to chicago for the sake of finding work. after his father died in a bar fight on their tenement floor when he was 8, john simply started going by john and the records at the orphanage he lived in for several years (from when he was 8 until he was 12, aka when he ran away) have him down as john marston.

john wouldn’t be in touch with his jewish identity until being taken in by dutch, who helped/encouraged him to celebrate high holidays as much as they could. that fell off as the years went on until beecher’s hope.

john and arthur are the epitome of the golden child/scapegoat (respectively), until john became dutch’s scapegoat. john’s never been academically inclined but has always been cunning and skeptical. have lots of thoughts but i do definitely think that the stark age difference between dutch and john (dutch is 30-ish when he takes john in vs being only mid-20s when arthur is taken in) + the fact that dutch is quite literally the only father john has ever known makes this even more apparent. dutch is arthur’s father-figure but he’s always had hosea; while john has always had hosea as a father-figure, there’s always been an intrinsic bond between john and dutch. dutch taught everything john he knows about gunslinging and hunting and fishing, areas where john excels compared to arthur. arthur’s ‘i just always thought everything came easy to you’ makes me :((( - their sibling dynamic means sm to me n they both deserved better when it came to their pasts fr, but john genuinely cannot conceptualize any sort of family outside of the gang which is why he leaves, understanding dutch’s true nature before anyone really does (+also being a deadbeat dad), then comes back a year later.

as for high/low honor, my john is probably medium, teetering very close to low honor. while i think arthur’s story and arc is about redemption, john’s has always been about survival. he’s never quite believed he’s had a choice. some trees flourish, others die. and he’s done whatever it takes for his family, whether it’s the van der linde gang, arthur, or abigail and jack, to live and thrive even if it’s all been in vain, and even if it’s involved doing the worst things a person can do. also a habit he’s learned from dutch, lmao.

speaking of which - so many of the toxic, manipulative habits and tendencies he’s taken on as a father are learned from dutch and somewhat unlearned in beecher’s hope with jack. will elaborate more l8r.

also – my john is blind in his left eye, with some light perception, and by 1911 regularly wears an eyepatch to aid in gunslinging and hunting. the visual impairment occurred as a result of being attacked by wolves in 1899; it also means he has no depth perception and is susceptible to being ambushed by those who know about it (looking at javier for throwing that box on top of him in rdr1, lmao).

[deepdonutkid]

Bonnie Gold, Finn Shelby, Isaiah Jesus, Michael Gray 💖

I’m answering this with a different game, because I can’t find the other thing xD

Bonnie Gold

How I feel about this character:

I think Bonnie is a super, sweet, young boy, who has a good relationship with his father. Even though, he seems so innocent, there is obviously a part in him, that can and will execute any order, without asking questions. This makes it very interesting to think and write about him. Also he is hot as fuck... C’mon... he is a boxer in the 1920, he could dick me down anytime.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Oh, well, he don’t have a love interesting in the show and I don’t know who I would ship with him. I love to read x reader stuff (especially by @bonniesgoldengirl ) Otherwise I would like to read Bonnie x Finn or Bonnie x Isaiah or even Bonnie x Michael, but with a weird stepbrother setting.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Damn, non-romantic gives me away. I would love to read/ write about Polly & Bonnie, Aberama & Bonnie, Bonnie & Esme, Bonnie & John, Bonnie and Arthur, Bonnie and Finn, Bonnie and Michael... the whole dynamic with the new family; Polly, Aberama, Michael, Bonnie, Esmeralda and maybe even Anna.

Then again, always popular and I love this as well: JUNIOR PEAKY BOYS! GIVE ME MORE JUNIOR PEAKY BOYS!

My unpopular opinion about this character

I would say, the fandom thinks he is so innocent, but I doubt that. He seems like he could do a lot of bad stuff and even be violent to some degree, because his dad is a murderer for hire and Aberame sure showed him to survive and to fight back and even torture someone. (can someone please write sweet gore with bonnie? )

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

First of all... I WISHED HE DIDN’T DIE!

Secondly, he could have gone away for boxing, or became a big star in the game or meet a cute little singer in his favorite pub for fucks sake.

He could have found a mother in Polly.

There were a shitton load of things they could have done with the character, but they didn’t and I’m still a little mad about it!

Finn Shelby

How I feel about this character

He is baby! I completely ignore season 5 and he is baby to me. Young, innocent, can’t do something bad, even if he tried, virgin, gentle or shy with girls, wants to get to know them, before he fucks them. Ah, sweet fluff for everyone! I should write more about him and I still have three ideas for one shots or blurbs, I might upload later. He is notably the youngest of five, but this also means he is the softest of them. During the war he was still a child, he hasn’t been to the trenches nor did he witnessed a lot around him, which makes him more vunerable than his brothers.

Nevertheless, he grows and becomes a young man though the seasons. I think he has Ada’s and Tommy’s sass, but he still wouldn’t be mean without a reason.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Finn and... reader? I wouldn’t really ship him with someone on the show, but I still hope they give him a love interest next season!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Ah, now I have thousand ideas! Finn and his brothers, Finn and Ada, Finn and Polly. Finn, Polly and Isaiah? Finn and Esme? Finn and Jessie? Finn and Lizzie? Oh, oh! Finn and John?

My unpopular opinion about this character

He wasn’t really close to Tommy. I can’t really explain this one, but he could act different, if he actually talked more to Tommy. And I think their relationship gets worse over time.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Finn gets a girlfriend or he reveals that he is gay.

Isaiah Jesus

How I feel about this character

I love him and it’s a shame he doesn’t get much screen time! Why? He is a loyal member of the Peaky Blinders? And what does he get? Nothing! Isaiah is a really funny and charming guy and they could have developed this more after John died. This show needs a charming guy and I don’t mean Tommy!

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Michael? Also sometimes Ada? Bonnie in a threesome? Finn and they are childhood friends? With a reader? Hell yes!

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Bonnie!

Jimmy Jesus & his son!

Michael, again

Ada & Isaiah

Charlie Shelby & Isaiah

Polly and Isaiah, when he has problems with a girl and she gives him a good advice

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don’t have one! o.o He is perfect!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Omg, I would love to know more about his family! His mom and the relationship to his father? Does he have siblings? Damn, I need answers!

Michael Gray

How I feel about this character

This is complicated! I love him, especially farmboy Michael in season 2! But he is drawn to the dark side so much and even his actor Finn Cole says he has sociopath tendencies. I can agree on this! Michael is definitely a sociopath and I think he has a hard time connecting to another person. He is very cold-hearted and dismissive, but if you crack his hard shell, you might find something soft inside. We rarely saw him vunerable on screen, but I think he is capable of this too!

But I also think, Sex is a problem for him. He saw how his parents fought a lot when he was a child and then he was taken away. He was also raped in orphanage and bruised for his life. And even when he got back to Birmingham, he still sees how his cousins treat women and it’s not respectfully. Of course, he wants to be like Tommy, rich so he won’t have to be hungry ever again, feared so nobody will attack him and cold-blooded so nobody can hurt him anymore. He pushes all his feelings down, because he is afraid of them and he can’t handle these. (good example was the whole thing with Charlotte getting pregnant)  I would love to see him developing a  platonic relationship with a female character, because it would help him heal. He sure miss his sister, she was part of his misery as a child and I think she helped him, no matter if she was younger or older than him.

I really wished, he wouldn’t try so much to be like Tommy. It would really help him dealing with his trauma.

And I think in the next season one of them has to die q.q But I hope it’s not Michael...

All the people I ship romantically with this character

None, he doesn’t seem like he would like to be in a romantic relationship. Even his marriage with Gina seems very practical. They fuck together and they scheme together. No romantic feelings involved. And somehow it works for them. 

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I would love to write a one shot about him and a sister reader, or him an Anna or his whole family dynamic! Or him and Aberama! And I could and would write a whole fic about John and Michael! I can’t wait for Michael to appear in my new series! (hahaha, self promo)

My unpopular opinion about this character

I actually like the mustache! And I will stay true to myself!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Michael finds Anna well and alive! Please! I know this won’t happen and he will most certainly die in the end, but in his last minutes he still could find peace after everything that has happened to him! He is still my baby!

This was fucking long! Thanks for the ask, homegirl! 💞

[call-sign-shark]

Brummie!! Your comment!! 😩💚

Despite the series being an xReader, I like to portray the different dynamics in the Shelby family, such is the case with Arthur's love for Tommy despite his cold nature and his sibling banter with John. I think those tiny bits of family interactions fleshed out the story even more, on top of being important! I'm delight you love the interactions between Arthur/John because they are my favorite duo in the whole show. And by the way, Arthur is an adorable love-sick puppy, right? 🥴 Him showing Heaven/Reader off is absolutely endearing.💚

About John having a little something for Heaven... This is up to you. Personally, I (and many other readers) like to think he has but I definitely made it ambiguous on purpose teehee.

Heaven does feel a lot of empathy for Thomas in spite of their mutual hatred. I think grief is a kind of universal feeling, especially if you've lost people in a very brutal and sudden manner like Heaven and Tom. Somehow, she does not really hate him for what he is, but rather for his animosity toward her and the way he treats Arthur. She did feels a bit of guilt about Charlie's kidnapping though... Pretty sure you'll know a lot about her mysterious past in next chapter! And I'm chuckling when reading you like Champagne because this is one alcohol that hurts my stomach 🤭 Heaven is definitely like me, a red wine girl. That's what she had ordered when she surprised Arthur at the Garrison! But... Champony is super great too, sis, I like it and it's indeed more money-friendly 😄

I AM WHEEZING AT THE SIGHT OF YOU IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM EATING POP CORN LMAOO. It was an intense scene, and I wasn't satisfied with the way I wrote it. I felt like I didn't manage to instill as much tension as I wanted in it but still, you got it perfectly right: there's a feeling of the room closing around her. I don't know if Tommy and Heaven will keep clashing with each other violently or not, but for sure she'll never be one of Tommy's dogs! She'd kill herself than allow Tommy to use her.

AHHH! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED FOR CHARLIE! 😈 Yeah I know that wasn't nice but aren't you happy for that little adrenaline rush? Teehee! I am so delighted by driving you crazy with all this mystery. If you're wondering, it means I did a good job! But as I said, you'll know a lot about her in the next chapter. Like really a lot. And you got it right, honey! She's definitely a witch 🤭 🌜 It wasn't just rumored!

What a wonderful, so wonderful comment. I've smiled, laughed and teared up a bit when reading it. Honestly, knowing you usually only read about Thomas but still keep reading long-ass chapters of an Arthur fic is the best compliment ever! Thank you so much for everything: reading, leaving comments in which you pour your heart, your support, and your friendship. You can't imagine how much it means to me. I'm just happy you enjoy the ride so far 🥺 Love you dear 💚

Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary:  What is supposed to be a chill afternoon at the grand opening of the Grace Shelby Institute for Orphaned Children, turns out to be a nightmare: Charles is kidnapped and chaos spreads in the Shelby family. This is when Thomas remembers something you had told him: "You should keep an eye on Charles. You really should.”  He suddenly understands: You did it.

Words: 5K

TW: Angst, Child kidnapping, typical canon violence, graphic description of violence, death of secondary characters, murder, a very quick allusion to child abuse, gruesome kills, a lot of blood I guess

Notes:

✞ This chapter is based on the event of S3 Episode 6. Italicized parts are taken from the show. However, it contains many changes from the show's script, especially to accommodate this fanfiction's purposes and the characters' development.

✞ Theme song to listen to on repeat while reading if you want

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

PREVIOUS PART || Masterlist || NEXT PART

“Say it Tom, say it to ‘em! ” Arthur’s loud voice exclaimed in a joyful tone, calloused hands clapping with strength to encourage his little brother and his speech. The whole crowd, as well as you, followed his example and stood up to applaud the founder of the Grace Shelby Institute for Orphaned Children. Admittedly, you recognized that the idea of opening such an establishment was surprising yet excellent, especially coming from the family’s boss. Quickly glancing at Arthur and his smile, you could not help but melt. The blinded love and trust he had for Tommy had something admirable despite your rocky relationship with little King Shelby.

You sit back and, as you did, Arthur gently put his hand on your thigh and took a look at you, his magnificent blue eyes shining with affection. He did not need to say a single word for you to understand what was going through his mind: he was just proud. Proud of Tommy, obviously, but particularly proud to attend such a significant ceremony with his stunning woman by his side. Even though most of the town knew about Arthur’s mysterious angel, attending the event with you had something official. The butterflies in his stomach flapped their wings when he introduced you to some guests as his sweetheart — you had even overheard him calling you his “future wife”. The way some of the visitors looked at both of you, their traits stretching in surprise as they realized that the sweetest creature they have ever seen was deeply enraptured with him, was enough to fill his heart with pride. A faint smile flattered your juicy lips at such an endearing vision, the joy it brought upon you making the whole crowd disappear for a few seconds as you lost yourself in Arthur’s beauty. Another thunder of applause popped your daydreams and forced you to shift your focus back on what was going on.

In fact, the first lyrics of Immortal Invisible brought you back to reality as it echoed in the room. You were about to join the chorus, Arthur’s fingers discreetly reaching for yours as a silent request to hear you sing with that lovely voice of yours, when you caught sight of Tommy leaving the room with hastened footsteps. The aura of sorrow that emanated from him stirred both your empathy and your worries — even though you did not get along, you could not help but commiserate with him on this difficult day that reminded him of Grace far too much to handle the event properly. Thomas’ beloved wife was everywhere around you, you could sense it. Her presence was so overwhelming that one could have expected to see her walk into the room at one moment or another. The cruel truth was that she was gone for good, and what was left of her slowly pushed Thomas Shelby to the edge of depression. Instinctively, your cold little hand tightened its grip around Arthur. His company kept your mind from drifting too far in the dark waters of your own loss. And by loss, you meant your Dad, hung high on a tree, as well as your Mom and little sister who had burned on the pyre.

The room was filled with chatters and guests, whose discussions blended together in an unintelligible cacophony. Alone in a corner, a glass of champagne in your hand, you swept the room with interest without really taking part in any conversations. Somehow, huge gatherings had never been your cup of tea — you came from a small town lost in the mountains after all, not from the city. Moreover, you were well aware of the curious, sometimes snobbish looks other ladies gave you and you were not sure they would be particularly delighted by your presence. They thought you did not fit the picture with your long and braided white hair, your ivory sun dress, and Arthur’s long and black coat resting on your shoulders. To be true, you could not blame them, you did not fit in but you were also surprisingly fine with it. When your lips grazed the sparkly alcohol, you winced a little bit. As ironic as it sounded for a French girl, you despised the taste of champagne, even though you still took the glass you had been offered out of sheer politeness. Giving up on the idea of drinking it, you just sighed. It did not take long for you to grow bored with analyzing people’s faces — they were more or less the same, and most of them took the shape of women giggling when Thomas walked past them. You soon caught sight of Arthur and John, both talking to their brother.

“Fuck me, Tom. I don’t know how you do it.” Arthur stated, his gruff voice and harsh words contrasting drastically with Thomas’ elegant elocution. He had barely finished his sentence when the latter was once again forced into another formal conversation with aristocratic ladies. He took a quick look at John, who was sipping on a tea, and rolled his eyes, annoyed. Understanding that having a real conversation with Tommy was going to be difficult, he waved off the idea and finally headed back to you. As soon as his eyes fell on your frame, his face relaxed and enlightened with a loving smile.

“Oi. Why are you all alone, Angel?” He inquired, his arms wrapping around your waist and bringing you close to his body for he could not keep his hands off you for too long, “want to go back home?” Arthur laid a tender kiss on your cheek, gently rubbing the tip of his nose against your skin in signs of deep affection. Your smile widened at the sensation of his mustache, to the point you could not hold the light chuckle that escaped from your mouth. He was so worried about your well-being that he went straight to the point: if you wanted to leave you had every right to do so.

“No need to go back home dear, I do enjoy the party. I’m just not really good at social gatherings nor making new friends I guess!”

“Ada told me you can join in her conversations if ye want.” His thumbs caressed your hips in a circular motion.

“I don’t want to bother Ada. She seems rather busy.” You put down your glass on a nearby table, and snuggled in his arms, more than thrilled to have his whole attention for yourself. The slight anxiety you had been feeling vanished into dust at his soothing warmth and his manly perfume. A perfume that had started to blend with yours, hence creating that unique fragrance of your love.

“Hey Arthur, move. You know she likes me hugs the best.” John teased — he had also decided to keep you company rather than waiting on Tommy.

“I’m really going to kick yer ass John, don’t care if I do it in front of all the people of this bloody room.” He growled, pulling you even closer for he refused to let you go. Even if it was with his own brother. Your grin widened, their never-ending sibling arguments never failing to amuse you.

“I would take your brother’s threats with the utmost seriousness if I were you. But at the same time, I really appreciate your dauntless nature. C’m’here.” One of your arms left Arthur’s neck to welcome John in the hug despite the hoarse complaints that followed. John, not hesitating for a slight second, joined in and held you in his arms for a few but indescribably comforting seconds. Each time he would pull you in a bear hug, he would make you feel at home.

“Okay, enough —“ Arthur nudged his little brother in the ribs, the corner of his lips curling up in a sadistic smirk only older siblings knew how to do.

“Why don’t you hug me longer? Afraid to show your sensitive side, Mon amour?” John said, making his best impression of your French accent and the pet name you were always giving to his brother. This time you could not help but genuinely laugh, a part of you astounded by John’s ability to be that annoying. The face Arthur made, contorted with both shock and anger, only cracked you up harder. Still, you softly stroke his neck to keep his spirit quiet and avoid him throwing a tantrum in the middle of the room.

Finally resigning himself not to bounce on John and beat the shit out of him, Arthur looked at you with the most irresistible puppy eyes he could do. Sometimes you had trouble realizing he, who could look like a beaten dog, was the same man that could kill someone with his bare fists out of jealousy and fuck you roughly in the shower still covered with fresh blood right after.

“Lemme smack him, please Angel. Just one little tiny punch in his fookin’ face.” He begged, “Just to shut his bloody mouth, eh.”

You raised a brow, your hand trailing up his neck to fix his hairstyle — Arthur shivered at your touch, his whole body responding with tremors of lust that shook him to the core, “Not here. But you’ll find a good moment to avenge yourself, Mr. Shelby” You said, punctuating your sentence with a knowing wink.

“Woah, calm down Devil. I thought you’d defend me!” John retorted, pretending to be outraged by your betrayal.

“Not my fault if you’re stupid enough to believe that.” Your grin turned into a sharky smile.

“That’s my girl,” Arthur purred when looking at you, “always on her good ol’ Arthur’s side,” He pressed his lips on the side of your head, laying an enamored kiss upon it. How much you liked his way of showering you with love no matter where you were. Nevertheless, the lighthearted conversation did not last long, for an unpleasant gut feeling alerted all your senses. You slightly pulled away from Arthur and frowned, instinctively looking in Thomas’ direction. He was talking with Ada, his face veiled with a deep worry you had never seen him wearing. Something happened, that was the first thought that crossed your mind — and how right you were. At this moment, Thomas walked to you, his piercing blue eyes expressing concern. You saw him coming before his own brothers.

“Heaven, love? Are ya alri—“

“Boys, have you seen Charlie?” Thomas cut him off.

“Eh…” Arthur softly released you from his sweet embrace to focus on Tommy, “I don’t know. He is playing, ain’t he?” His smile faded away as if he had just sensed that something was wrong.

The wind changed for Thomas Shelby, whose legendary self-control broke down at the moment he realized Charles had disappeared. As your mind proceeded with what was happening, he had already started to go from guest to guest asking if they had seen his son. The more he asked, the more his placid tone turned into the painful roars of a wounded lion. All it took was one tiny second for the whole ceremony to dive into chaos.

Deafened by the sound of your own beating heart racing in your chest, you started to look around you in a vain attempt to find Charles maybe playing under a table or behind furniture. That was all you could do, for your feet seemed stuck in invisible roots that were keeping you from moving. You stood there, useless, for you did not know what to do. Maybe Charles was still here, hidden somewhere to prank his nanny? But all Tommy’s hopes and yours crumbled when Ada, so stunning in her elegant outfit, caught everyone’s attention with precious information.

“Tommy. Someone said they saw a nurse take him through the back door.”

Fuck, you thought.

“Fuck.” Arthur swore out loud, grabbing his sister by the wrists before storming out of the room with the other Shelbys.

Boom. Boom.

You brought your hand to your chest, now convinced your heart was about to burst. Something had definitely happened to Charles — as you had sensed weeks ago at the Garrison. Ripping through the lethargy you were embroiled in, you ran up the stairs and rummaged through each room to look for Charlie. Voices, all mixed, came through the opened window. You froze, listening to them.

“Arthur! Somebody saw a woman and a kid getting into a car.”

“Ah, fuck!”

“CHARLIE!”

“Where is he? Tell me.

_Someone took him. Listen to me! They put in in a car. They put him in a car and drove south. We’ve got roadblocks, we’ve got spotters. I’ll set up shop and put every man we’ve got… between here and Maypole.

_ Right. You do that.

_ You gotta go to the office. You gotta sit by the phone. Whoever took him is going to call. Polly! Let’s go, Pol! Stay by that phone. Me and John will cover the roads.”

And that was how the world collapsed on Thomas’ head. Again.

You looked at his car disappearing in the dull horizon, knowing that dark hours were awaiting all of you. Lost in your thoughts, you did not notice the mighty silhouette of the crow that was staring at you from the nearest tree with his dark beady eyes. A dull caw sound tore the silence that had fallen upon the mansion and snatched you from your anxious mind.

Caw. He mocked.

And to think it had warned you!

When Tommy stormed into the office, all of the family already gathering there, the sound of his soles hammering the wooden floor made the whole skies shiver with fear.

“Where’s Heaven?” He asked, blue eyes looking dagger at Arthur because if someone knew about you it was obviously him.

“Coming. She was with Esme.” His gruff voice retorted, trying to remain calm for Tommy’s sake.

“Esme’s waters broke,” John answered right away, “I was just with her. Running around fucking broke the waters.”

“Where’s Finn?” Thomas insisted.

“With the young’uns looking for the Riley. We couldn’t reach him.” Arthur informed before bringing a glass of whisky to his mouth and taking one big gulp. The fire that trailed down his throat almost made him sigh with momentary relief.

“I need to know who spoke. Our enemies know everything. Everything. I need to know who spoke about business outside of the family. I need to know who spoke, who they’ve spoken to.” Tommy was trying hard to remain calm but his erratic breath and the quick pace of his words betrayed the rage that was boiling within him.

“Tommy…

_ Your future wife, Arthur?”

Arthur’s pinched his lips, swallowing the furious urge to yell at his little brother for uttering such an obnoxious accusation. He looked away as he tried to keep his composure.

“I’m gonna tell myself you’re not thinking straight. Your mind’s not clear.”

“I want to see her now, you hear me?”

It was at this moment you entered the room as if you had been summoned by Thomas’ words. You had appeared in the doorframe without a single noise, Arthur’s dark coat contrasting with the unsettling porcelain of your skin and the fair aquamarine of your iris. There you stood, all the family’s eyes staring at you for they had told you it would have been probably better if you did not come. All of them were more or less aware of Tommy's hostility toward you, and they knew he would certainly find a way to blame you in one way or another.

“Speaking of the Devil.” He said with his most collected tone, while his gaze darkened at the sight of your doll face. If Arthur saw an Angel when looking at you, Thomas could only recognize the threatening shadow of death floating around your silhouette, the long coat you were wearing reminding him of the Grim Reaper’s cloak. All that was missing from the picture was a scythe in your hand, “Did you speak?” He asked.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You simply replied, walking to Arthur. The wooden floor creaked under your heels. You were already exhausted by his accusations you knew that were awaiting you. But still, you came, because all you wanted was to be where you belonged: by Arthur's side, supporting him.

“I know Arthur can’t keep his fucking mouth shut and tells you everything.” He quickly glanced at his brother, who was staring at an invisible dot on the wall to keep calm, and shifted all his focus back to you again. You clenched your jaw at the petty comment, “So I’m gonna reiterate the question and you’re going to answer me, eh. Did you speak?"

“I did not speak, Tommy. I said nothing.”

“Don't lie to me.” He retorted right after you finished your sentence. His hands, pressed against the table, were now trembling with a rage he desperately tried to tame, “I know you’ve got something to do with all this shit. I know that’s you.”

You opened your mouth to protest but Arthur was quicker. Grabbing your wrist in case he needed to protect you from his brother, he stepped between the two of you, “Come on Tommy, I know yer angry and anxious, but that ain’t a reason to accuse her. She didn’t do anything.”

“Ah. Arthur Shelby protecting his damn fallen Angel, I was expecting it" His eyes went from him to you several times, "Do you think she didn’t? So, can you explain why did she tell me to keep an eye on Charles weeks ago?” Tommy's words were coated with poison. The quietness of his voice, highlighted by the rumble of his growling soul, only rendered him more impressive. Silence fell over the office at such a revelation no one knew.

Astounded, Arthur turned to you and, with his brows furrowed in confusion, stared at you, “Did ya — Did ya really say that?”

You blinked, stunned by Thomas’ vivid memory and by the gleam of shock in Arthur’s steel blue eyes.

“Hey, listen. I did not plot behind this family’s back nor did I hurt Charlie or anything.”

“Why would you say that to me then?” Tommy took a few steps toward you. He would usually avoid coming to close to you when other people were around, but you were not sure he would do so this time. You wanted to back off but Arthur’s grip tightened around your wrist, for he did not know what to think anymore. “Whose side are you on, uh?” Tommy asked, "Did anyone ever wonder whose side she's on?"

“I saw a crow on my way to the Garrison and I felt it was a bad omen. And then I had a gut feeling after our conversation. That’s all, Thomas! It was just a damn clairvoyant gut feeling!” You defended yourself, before looking at Arthur, “I swear it’s the truth.”

"Yeah, the truth," Arthur repeated, trying to overcome his insecurities.

“Oh my God, keep your witchcraft-coated excuses for someone else, Heaven. You talked at best, you work with Hughes at worst. After all, you knew him before you came into our lives” Tommy tried to come closer again but Polly grabbed him by the arm, keeping him at a safe distance, “No matter the makeup and the jewels you wear they won’t hide the Devil under there.”

“Don’t imply I have something to do with that fucking bastard!” You hissed through your teeth, hatred blooming within at the sole mention of the name. This time, Arthur’s calloused hands grabbed you by your shoulders to keep you still, for you were starting to get agitated. At this point, he was not sure if he did it to protect you from Tommy, or to protect Tommy from you.

“Heaven, calm down…” He said softly, trying to ease the wildfire of your anger.

“He’s accusing me of Charles’ kidnapping, Arthur! I can’t fucking believe it!” You protested, your doll face wearing injustice like the most beautiful jewel ever crafted. Arthur kept you firmly against his chest, his arms locking around you and his hoarse voice whispering “I know love…” in your ear.

“And I can’t believe you think I'm naive enough to believe you talked to a bloody crow and got a bad feeling. Tell me where’s my son, you Devil.” Thomas growled in the background.

Polly pulled his nephew’s arm, for he was starting to be too harsh with you “Why not? She has brought a bird back to life Tommy. I would not be surprised if she saw it coming one way or another.”

“'Scuse me?” He turned around in one vivid movement, his eyes diving into his Aunt’s. He could not believe what she had just said.

Another silence flew over the room as the rest of the Shelby family confirmed Pol’s information with a nod of the head. All the people in this office had witnessed the extent of your power at the last gathering you had organized in your garden — hence the fact they were not particularly surprised by your sharp instincts. John swallowed, recalling the way the bird first twitched in your small hands before flying away, wings flapping with newly breathed energy.

“Pol’s right, Tom,” Ada started, “I usually don’t believe in these kind of things but it’s true. I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

It was too much for Tommy, who already was on the very edge of his patience. There went his mind, aching at the thought of his sweet son trapped between the monstrous and disgusting claws of that twisted priest. His boy, the last thing that kept Grace’s memory alive, had been snatched from him and here his family was, defending the one that probably did it. Of course, he believed in supernatural forces — he was convinced a curse took Grace away from him — but Tommy needed a more rational explanation. He needed anything that could help to get Charles back. He brought one of his trembling hands to his mouth, gathering all his remaining strength to restrain himself in such a catastrophic situation, “She resurrected a damn bird, and no one told me…” He said to himself, " She resurrected a bird," He repeated, a faint and nervous chuckle escaping from his lips before vanishing as quickly as it had appeared.

“Heaven‘s really sensed it, nothing else. You know she would never harm Charles. She felt it coming Tommy. She is… She is gifted. Do you understand how useful she could be?” Polly’s words, coated with both softness and authority, managed to soothe the hurricane of violence that was raging within him. Thomas had stopped talking yet he kept looking at you with anger burning in his ice-cold eyes.

You frowned —still trapped in Arthur’s arms for your own sake—, and looked at Polly.

“Forget it, Pol. He’s not going to change his mind.” You finally said after letting out a long sigh. A part of you was well aware that bargaining with Thomas Shelby was useless. Moving your shoulders, you managed to free yourself from Arthur’s embrace and, to his greatest surprise, made your way to the exit. He almost jumped, catching your hand in his.

“Heaven.”

“No Arthur, this is fucking useless. I am not going to stay here and let him blame me for everything that happens to this family while I did nothing but share my clairvoyant feeling with him. He wants me to prove whose side I’m on? Fine! I’ll do it then! ”

Arthur opened his mouth, thinking about something that could convince you to stay but he knew you were right. He finally lowered his head, jaw clenched and eyes avoiding yours.

“Gonna come with you then,” His gruff voice mumbled.

“No, you stay there.” You said, which made Arthur frown even more and look at you with utter confusion, “Thomas needs you. He’s aching and vulnerable. Stay with him and do what you have to do, Arthur. I'll wait for you.”

“Alright.” He resigned himself, worries making his magnificent eyes shine, “ one last thing.” He said after a few seconds of hesitation.

“Hm?”

“Tell me you have nothing to do with Charles’ kidnapping.” He dared to say, feeling utterly ashamed by the fact he needed reassurance about it. But he had always trusted Tommy more than anyone else and now, he was conflicted between his loyalty to his brother and the maddening love he had for you.

“Arthur… Are you serious?” You asked, your heart hurting at such a demand. A sigh fell from your lips, whose red lipstick made even more hypnotizing. “ I promise I'm not involved in Charles' kidnapping. You have my word.” You finally said as you looked at him right in the eyes, trying to hide the pain.

“I— I trust you,” He paused, “I trust you.” He repeated, then he pulled you in a quick hug to soothe his inner turmoil. To be true, he would have probably died if it turned out you had been toying with his heart all along. But Arthur refused to believe Tommy was right, this awful thought almost leading him to the path of madness again, “Take care, love. See you later.”

You replied with a faint, exhausted smile and left the building, disappearing in the fog of Birmingham’s streets.

The fact remained that Tommy did not feel better after you left.

Or Esme getting cash for cocaine, eh, John?

All of a sudden, back in the family, Ada, eh. That’s a surprise. Out of the blue. On whose orders?

And you and your painter…

Down he went, spiraling into a paranoid craze and, to everyone's greatest surprise, you were not the only one that had triggered it.

The sound of Death Knell resonated in the night, its threatening shadow floating over Birmingham houses and souls. Following Tommy’s plan, John and Arthur roamed through the train station with the firm will of spreading calculated chaos at 10 o’clock in a grandiose murderous explosion. You can go with them but it’s better if you let them do the job, that was more or less what Arthur had told him before he left. Despite the orders given, Michael managed to leave the two henchmen behind and reached Hughes’ church without getting caught by another Peaky Blinder. It was not that Tommy’s plan was poor, but he indubitably needed to take care of this business alone. No one around him seemed to understand how deep his pain was entangled with Father Hughes. He had to wipe the priest out by himself — he had promised it to his little self after many sleepless nights recalling his dirty hands wandering on him.

And he did.

Michael was panting, a mix of thick repugnant blood and sweat dripping from his face. Still straddling Father Hugues’ corpse, the young Blinders’ hands were frozen on the knife he had thrust into the priest’s throat. The hot and sticky sensation almost made him throw up when it first poured over his skin. A crimson puddle had already formed under the body, growing bigger and bigger as minutes passed. And when that same puddle reached the floor’s grooves, it filled them with dark red blood and drew patterns on the wood.

Another grunt escaped from Michael’s quivering lips as he slowly realized what he had done. He killed. Again.

All wobbly on his legs, Michael Gray still managed to stand up and took a few steps back, his hand leaning on a bench. His fair eyes did not shift from Father Hughes’ motionless body for he forced himself to look at him— there lied the monster who had terrified him for years. There lied the child eater, his neck opened and his obscene glassy eyes staring blankly at the church’s ceiling.

Coming back to his senses the best he could, Michael stumbled to the heavy door of the room from which Father Hughes came out and opened it. All he wanted was to carry Charles in his arms, telling him everything would be fine, and flee from this cursed place. Yet, his heart missed a beat when he entered the small room and realized Charles was not there.

“Fuck!” Michael blurted out. Panic kicked in again as he tried to come up with a solution, or at least an idea of what to do. He knew he had to think, and he had to think pretty fast because Charles' life was threatened. He needed to find the kid before it was too late. The main reason behind his dedication was not only to show his worth, but also to keep a child from suffering at an Hughes’ hands ever again. However, Michael's thinking process shattered in pieces when he heard the heartbreaking cries of a kid yelling at the top of his lungs. Blood froze in his veins as he recognized Charles’ voice.

Following the screams, there was a thundering noise of something heavy dropped to the floor, and nothing. Nothing except a chilling silence that brought goosebumps to his pale flesh.

Oh no.

Michael stood still in the loud silence, as petrified as an animal in front of the blinding headlights of a car.

No, no, no!

They’ve killed him, he thought. Of course, they did. Father Hughes was probably not alone in that bloody church, even though Tommy said he did not expect them to come. Someone was here and took advantage of the chaos of his fight with Hughes to grab Charles and hurt him. Whoever his accomplice was, they had just ended Charles's life and it was all his fault. If only he had listened to Arthur. If only he had let the two henchmen do their job and handle the situation. Guilt started to beat him.

Michael shook his head, hoping it was not too late, and ran toward the direction the noise and cries came from. His heart raced in his chest as his legs almost automatically moved, winding up his anxiety like a mechanical toy, and led him to a second room he did not see at first.

“HANDS UP YOU BASTARD!” Michael yelled, storming into the room that was directly linked to a backdoor exit: the perfect spot for Hughes’ accomplice to flee with the kid in case of emergency. Or to kill him in case something happened to the priest. Pointing his gun in front of him, Michael was ready to shoot, hatred blazing in his eyes. He winced at the foul and slightly metallic smell of blood that jumped at his face as he entered the place. Michael was a brave boy. He was ready to use violence. He was ready to actively take part in the family business. Hell, he was even ready to die if that was what he had to do, but there was one thing no one prepared him to face and it was what he saw in this place.

“Oh my God!”

He cried out, his breath hitching with panic as his blue eyes, filled with tears, first caught sight of a second corpse lying in a lake of blood. If Hughes' dead body was already gruesome, it was nothing compared to his accomplice's.

The man, who was strong in stature and impressive in height, was staring at him with blank eyes, silently begging for help. His petrified face, splattered with dark blood, was distorted in a terrified expression as if he had seen the Devil itself before dying. Yet the cause of the poor lad’s death was not fright, but rather the dozen stabbing wounds that scattered his body, and the pair of huge scissors that was deeply stuck into his neck. Michael could not help but step back, so disoriented by the macabre spectacle that was in front of his bewildered eyes that he dropped the gun Tommy had given him. The sound it made when it crashed on the floor caused Charles to cry again.

“Shhhh, everything’s fine Charlie. Everything’s fine. Keep your eyes closed.” A soft and enchanting voice raised in the room, like it did the night Arthur wandered aimlessly to church. For a few seconds, Michael was convinced the voice did not come from a human being. It sounded so foreign, so alluring, it could only belong to an angel of justice, whose avenging blade fell on Hughes' associate. Then he saw her, the creature, and his eyes widened even more.

“Bloody fucking hell.“ He really tried to say something else but his brain could not proceed with the sight of Arthur’s woman holding Charles in her arms, her sweet angel face and frail body entirely covered with crimson stains.

“I know.” You simply replied, one of your hands tenderly resting behind Charles’ head to keep him from looking at the butchered dead man that had fallen on the floor when your scissors tore his jugular vein.

Michael stood still, staring at you with utter shock.

"How?" He managed to ask, one sole tear running down his cheek.

"Please Michael, don't ask questions. I just — I just want to go home." You whispered, the far too familiar smell of blood and after-taste of murder making your head spin. You closed your eyes for one second to keep the traumatizing images of your past from flooding your brain and let out a shaky exhale. When you came back to your senses, you walked to Michael and put Charles in his arms, still careful to keep the corpse out of his sight. Then you left the room.

As you passed by Father Hughes, you stopped and looked at him from above, indescribable hatred blazing in your iris.

"See you in Hell, sale fils de pute — You son of a bitch — "

Michael followed, still unable to keep his eyes away from your mesmerizing frame scattered with blood drop like millions of precious rubies. The way you looked at Hughes' corpse resonated with him so much he could not help but talk.

" Did he..." He left his sentence hanging, but you understood what he meant.

"No, he did not. But he still found another way to be the cause of my sorrow," You glanced at Michael from above your shoulder, "I'm glad you killed this bastard. There are people whose souls can't be saved, and he is one of them."

"Yes, he definitely is." Charles had calmed down in his arms, lulled by the soft movements as Michael walked outside the church by your side, "what about the second man?"

"He was about to kill Charlie and then come for you." You replied, trying your best to forget the unpleasant sensation of half coagulated blood on your delicate skin. Michael took a while to process the information and realized you had probably saved his and Charles' life.

"Are you okay?" He asked. His question brought a faint yet terribly melancholic smile to your lips for it reminded you that you had broken the only promise you did to yourself. The promise of not taking another life ever again.

"Are you?" You replied to his interrogation by another one.

"No, I'm not. I feel... Empty."

"So, you already know the answer."

When the door opened and Michael entered the house with Charles sobbing in his arms, Polly and Ada ran towards him and cried in relief as they hugged the child. Polly soon focused on his own son, whose blank expression left no doubt on what he had to do to save Tommy’s kid… He killed, and it changed him forever. She laid a gentle hand on his cheek, checking on him with tears in her eyes, knowing she could not do anything to ease Michael's pain anymore -- and what was more awful for a mother than watching his child suffer without being able to do something about it? What snatched her from the sorrowful conclusion she had come to was Ada’s gasp, who had just realized Michael was not alone. You had followed him, a cold expression etched on your face and a myriad of red ink stains soiling your whiteness.

“She helped,” Michael stated with a tired voice before anyone had the time to say something, “She helped me save him.”

Ada looked at you with surprise, trying to discover the mysteries your traits hid so well, but her focus was far too disrupted by the frightening amount of blood that was covering you. Blood everywhere on the stunning, little, murderous creature she never thought you were. Many questions raged in her skull, like a tornado of thoughts and speculations. After what seemed to be a whole eternity, she managed to speak,

“For God’ sake… It could have been dangerous!” She said, blinded to the simple possibility you had just killed someone without batting an eye, "You are wounded! Look at the blood!"

You sighed and remained silent, stealing the silver cigarette case that was on the nearby furniture. The tip of your tongue moistened your juicy lips, whose corner was stained with red lipstick you smeared all over your skin when you had tried to wipe the blood that had splattered on your face.

"It's not mine."

Your hands were still shaking from what you had to do, unpleasantly recalling their past crimes. Then, you slipped one cigarette between your teeth and lit it with the zippo you found in the pocket of Arthur’s coat that was still on your shoulders. Shivering with cold despite the fire burning in the hearth, you nestled a bit more in his coat in a desperate attempt to find a substitute for your man's comforting warmth.

"I beg your pardon? Whose blood is it?" She almost choked with surprise. Then it struck her. "Heaven..."

You did not say a single word and kept smoking in almost religious silence.

"Who the hell are you?" Ada inquired, her shaky voice coated with an odd mix of fear and fascination stirred by the eerie aura that was all around you.

You took a long puff from your cigarette before staring deep at Ada’s beautiful eyes. You looked at her for a while, then shift your focus on the fire burning in the fireplace. You watched the flames dance, the sound of wood cracking sending shivers down your spine. Ada swallowed, waiting for your answer. She, who had defended you in front of Tommy a bit earlier, could not tell anymore if you were the hero they needed or the villain they had to fear.

Saint or sinner? Spell or prayer? Blessing or curse?

Who are you, she asked.

“I am the one they really should have burned.”

A cloud of smoke came from your mouth as if hellfire was burning within you.

And somehow, it was certainly the case.

✞ gif by the talented @alicent-targaryen

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

✞ Normally, each chapter of this series can be read as stand-alone but not this one. It's far more enjoyable if you have read at least the previous chapter.

Tag: @meowtastick @babayaga67 @sired-to-hybridrid @shelbyssins @kxnnxyasdfg @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd

[queerhaw]

>:3c for the ask meme: 🎵🗺️👊🐴📜 (ily!!!!!!)

🎵- Favorite Red Dead song (either sang by camp or other)

another favorite is definitely the one the whole gang sings around the fire with javier after getting jack back <3 i just love the entire atmosphere of it and it makes me wish even more to be there with them. and Love Come Back from the original soundtrack also slaps SUPER HARD

🗺- Favorite Location in Red Dead

i REALLY love the area surrounding little creek river in west elizabeth and also tall trees! so so so pretty. and basically everything about ambarino - it’s just way too pretty. i really love lake isabella as well, it’s so nice and quiet out there in the snow

👊- Red Dead BroTP

arthur and john. hands down. absolutely chaotic and feral sibling dynamic and i love everything about it

🐴- Preferred Horse

my girl orithyia <3 she’s a dutch warmblood with a chocolate roan coat!

📜- Favorite Journal Entry

don’t know which written entry is my favorite but here are some of my favorite drawings that arthur did!

love u too! (~￣▽￣)~

[midwinterblinder]

Arranged marriage

Part 3:

“Matthew?” Y/N speaks up once they’ve settled the business side of their union. Her brother turns his head to give her a questioning look as he wonders if he might have forgotten something. “Do you mind if mister Shelby and I speak in private for a moment?” She asks as she locks eyes with her brother.

Matthew can tell there’s something serious Y/N wants to discuss with Tommy and he wonders what it could be that she doesn’t want him to hear. But he also knows when to argue with his sister and when to gracefully accept defeat, and the current look on her face might seem perfectly polite to a strangers, but Matthew knows better; there’s no arguing with her when she looks like that. “Alright.” He nods. “I’ll be right outside.” He adds as he stands up and picks up his coat.

Tommy watched the silent exchange between the siblings with interest. So far the only member of the Thompson family he had met was Matthew and he’s keen to know more about their family dynamics. “You can stop by Arthur’s office.” Tommy says to Matthew. “It’s the second door on the right.” He adds and he watches Matthew nod before he leaves the room. “What is it you want to talk about miss Thompson?” Tommy asks when the door closes behind Matthew. He’s not sure what else there is to discuss.

“A personal matter, mister Shelby.” Y/N starts as she pulls a cigarette and a lighter from her purse. “Because this might be a business deal, but that doesn’t make marrying someone any less of a personal affair.” She says before she places the cigarette between her lips and lights it. Tommy watches her inhale deeply before she starts to speak again. “Matthew tells me you have a son.”

Tommy is slightly surprised by her words and he wonders what she might have to say about Charlie. He also doesn’t like the fact that she knows more about him than he knows about her. Because he assumed he would be marrying the youngest sister, Emily, he had done research on her. When Matthew told him he would be marrying Y/N instead it was too late to get background information on her before their meeting. He should know everything there is to know about her by tomorrow, but that doesn’t exactly help him right now. “I do.” He simply says as he reaches for his own cigarettes.

Y/N can tell that he’s not entirely comfortable with the subject, but she’s impressed by how well he hides his emotions. “There’s no need to worry mister Shelby, I have nothing against children. I actually have a daughter myself.” She explains hoping it will put him a bit more at ease. She can’t tell if the information surprises him or not as she watches him light his cigarette and take a puff. “As much as this is a business deal for you and me, I hope that as a parent you will understand that I want my daughter to have a normal family life.” She goes on. “Well, as normal as possible.” She adds with a dismissive hand gesture.

Tommy nods slowly. He wasn’t sure what to expect when she brought Charlie up, but he’s pleasantly surprised by her words. “I completely understand, miss Thompson.” He says as his eyes follow the smoke that leaves her lips. “I want my son to grow up with as normal a family as possible around him as well, and I’m sure that gaining a sibling as well as a parent will be good for our children.”

Y/N is pleased with his answer and she sends him a small smile, which Tommy is sure could charm at least half of the male population and probably part of the female as well. “Then I believe we’ve discussed everything there is to discuss.” Y/N says as she leans forwards to stub out her cigarette in the ashtray on Tommy’s desk before she stands up. “I must say that so far it has been a pleasure doing business with you, mister Shelby.” She says as she picks up her purse. She truly means it. He acted much more high class than she imagined he would and it’s a relief for her to know he won’t need much polishing before she can introduce him to society as her partner.

Tommy nods slowly as he stands up and walks around his desk so he can pick up her coat which she had draped over the back of the chair she’s been sitting on sometime during their negotiations. He had been impressed by her contribution to the discussion. She let her brother take the lead, but made some clear demands as well and pointed out things both he and Matthew had missed. “I believe this is the start of a very lucrative partnership, miss Thompson.” He says as he holds up her coat.

“Thank you.” Y/N says as she slips her arms into the coat and turns to him once he lets go. He steps towards the door and gestures for her to go first once he opens it. The moment Y/N steps out of his office, she is once again met with a filthy look from Tommy’s secretary and she momentarily feels bad for the woman who has made the mistake of falling for her boss.

Tommy takes no notice of Lizzie as he steps out of his office behind Y/N. “Follow me.” He says as he leads the way to Arthur’s office, where they find Arthur, John and Matthew. John is enthusiastically telling a story and they all seem to get along. Tommy quickly gains their attention by clearing his throat. Their eyes move to the doorway and John and Arthur’s eyes quickly land on Y/N. The both seem slightly surprised by the woman in front of them and Tommy doesn’t blame, there are no women like Y/N in Small Heath. “Boys, this is Y/N Thompson, Matthew sister.” He introduces her. “Miss Thompson, these are my brothers Arthur and John.” He gestures from one to the other.

“Well it’s clear who got the looks in your family, Matt.” John chuckles as he stands up from the Arthur’s desk, which he was sitting on, and steps towards Y/N. His comment earns him a laugh from Arthur, a slight shake of the head from both Matthew and Tommy, and a small smile from Y/N. “Pleasure to meet you, sister.” John puts emphasis on the last as he sends her a wink and holds out his hand.

Y/N gracefully accepts it and Tommy thinks he can see that she’s slightly amused by the actions of his younger brother, but he can’t read her as easily as most people, so he decides to reel John in just in case. “It’s miss Thompson for now, John.” He tells his brother. It annoys him that he can’t read her. He has the same problem with her brother, he’s just as unreadable.

“Oh that’s quite alright.” Y/N says as she lets got of John’s hand and she sends him one of those smiles she gave Tommy earlier in his office as well, the one that he’s sure will make almost anyone weak in the knees, but he can’t tell if it’s genuine. He can tell that it’s working on John though, as his brother gets a slight blush on his cheeks. “There’s no need to be so formal. We are going to be family soon enough.” Y/N adds.

Tags: @annabethgranger123 @biba3434

[psycheswritings]

Now or Never - Thomas Shelby x Reader

Title: Now or Never

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Swearing and my bad writing, as per usual.

Word Count: 1595 (you all should be used to it by now, I don't know how to stop myself)

Author’s Note: This was requested by an anon, I really liked to write it and I may or may not have done a smutty second part of it, if anyone is interested, because I was on the mood, apparently.

This piece hasn't been proofread by anyone other than me, so if you find any mistakes, feel free to contact me, I'll be more than happy to fix it. As always, your feedback is highly appreciated.

(Y/N) = Your Name | (Y/L/N) = Your Last Name

Prompt from this list:

21. Kiss on a dare

She never expected her first kiss to be like this - in the middle of the muddy streets of Small Heat with a bunch of people around watching. More important than that, she didn’t expected that the first boy she got to kiss would be Thomas fucking Shelby.

It all started with her friendship with Ada, years back when they were still children. When (Y/N) and her parents moved to Watery Lane they thought, along with aunt Polly, that the both girls would warm up to each other quickly, being the same age and all. They couldn’t be more wrong - the both of them fought on their first encounter, what ended up in the two girls being grounded for a week and forced to apologize to each other.

Things actually started to blossom between them after that and not long after they became as thick as thieves. It was an interesting sight to see because they were both very different: Ada was outgoing, loud and demanding, she knew what she wanted and didn’t give a damn about what other people thought about it; (Y/N), on the other hand, knew how to hide her mischiefness behind the guise of a sweet young girl, she got what she wanted by having patience and planning when to act. Both girls were like two sides of a coin.

As an only child, (Y/N) always made a point in observing the Shelby siblings dynamic - the way they always seemed to be fighting each other but at the same time defending each other; and how Arthur hided the fact that he liked to draw, he was pretty good at it in her opinion; how John always got everyone around him laughing; how little Finn was such a sweet toddler; and then there was Tommy. She was good observer, always had been, and still she couldn’t quite figure him out.

He was sweet and kind most part of the time, always trying to take care of the others around him. He liked to work with horses and he was very good at that. But she had seen him beat men twice his size and threaten people who tried to hurt his family. On a moment he would sit and talk to her like they were good friends and the next he was ignoring her like she had the plague. More than one time she had caught him observing her as she watched the rest of the Shelby’s, a hint of a smile on her face. His ice blue eyes staring at her, making her feel self conscious about been there sharing dinner with his family, like she had been doing for the past few years.

(Y/N) just tried her best to ignore this strange feeling on the pit of her stomach and maintain the strange relationship that they had developed over the years because Ada’s friendship meant the world to her. On that specific day, the two of them were sitting at the stairs of Martha’s house talking with her and some other girls. She recognized the Shelby siblings not far from them, Freddie was there too and she saw the look on Ada’s eyes when he looked back at her.

Everything happened really fast and (Y/N) wasn’t really sure if she remembered it correctly. In a moment she and the girls were talking and giggling at Martha’s door and then in the next the boys were coming towards then, some of then flirting with the girls - like John and Martha, she had noticed it a long time ago - and some mocking them. The two groups blended together and (Y/N) wasn’t sure how the subject changed to dates and kissing but she suddenly felt self conscious, probably why she didn’t noticed the fact that Tommy had taken the place beside her on the bannister of the stairs.

“Well, Mister I-can-have-any-girl-I-want, I dare you to kiss one of the girls now.” (Y/N) froze at the sound of Freddie’s voice directed towards Tommy. She knew that he was a ladies man, Ada always talked about that with her and she had seen it a couple of times, her heart always clenching at the sight of him with another woman. For some reason, the idea of seeing her kiss another girl first hand was something that cause her a sense of distraught. Her eyes immediately fell on Alice, beautiful blonde Alice, who was always trying to catch Tommy’s attention. She was too distracted in her own thoughts to register his nexts actions.

“No problem.” His right hand closed around her left arm, bringing her to him as he sealed their lips together. She didn’t reacted at first, didn’t know how to, but instinct came in a second and when he licked her lips (Y/N) actually opened her mouth to him. His lips were soft against hers and the way he held her close to him made her feel dizzy. It was the sound of the boys praising him that brought her back to reality and in an instant, reacting on reflex, (Y/N) pushed him back and slapped him across the face.

Silence followed the action and Thomas looked back at her confused, a hand on his cheek. She didn’t said anything or looked at anyone, she just runned away to her house, climbing the stairs two step at a time to get to her room the faster she could. When she arrived in the safety of her sanctuary, she leaned into the closed door to catch her breath. What had just happened? Had Tommy really just kissed her because of a fucking dare?

(Y/N) stayed inside the rest of the day, her mother came calling her to eat but she just ignored it, feeling like she wouldn’t be able to face anybody until the next day, at least. It was already dusk when she heard the knocking on her door. She sighed, not moving from her bed, back turned to the door.

“Go away.” She shouted but heard the door opening anyway. “Ada, I really don’t want to…”

“‘am not Ada.” Her blood turned into ice on her veins as she heard his voice, footsteps approaching the bed. (Y/N) let out a heavy breath, bringing herself to a sitting position, arms crossed in front of her chest, finally facing him, as he stood on the middle of her room, looking down at her.

“I really don’t want to talk to you, Tommy.” He sighed, hands running through his hair as he took a sit in front of her on the bed, facing the door.

“I didn’t meant for it to be that way.”

“What, you didn’t meant for my first kiss to be in front of all of the street because of a fucking dare, Thomas?”

“I didn’t knew,” he said, turning to face her. “I swear I didn’t knew. Ada slapped me after you left and she told me when we got home. I wouldn’t have done that If I knew. Freddie...”

“Don’t put the blame on Freddie fucking Thorne! All he did was challenge you, choosing me was your decision, not his.” She observed as he took a deep breath before talking, his blue eyes looking straight into hers.

“Freddie challenged me to kiss somebody because he knew I was going to choose you.” Her brow furrowed at his words, arms relaxing a little as he continued. “He knew I was going to choose you because Freddie knows how I feel about you.”

“Tommy…” He moved closer to her, hands grabbing her arms and bringing her to him, their noses almost touching.

“I’ve liked you for a long time, if not since you and Ada fought at school.” (Y/N) stared at him, his blue eyes focused on her, as she weighed down the information. “Ada already scolded me about you being off limits and Freddie has been getting on my nerves since he figured it out. I’m sorry for not letting you know that I like you before but I won’t be sorry for kissing you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” (Y/N) was confused not just about his feelings but about hers too. She had been noticing that she felt different about him for a while now, but always brushed it off as some teenage crush. She couldn’t be in love with her best friend's brother! Yet, now said brother was in front of her, sitting on her bed, confessing his own feelings for her.

“Because I thought you didn’t like me. Not the way I like you.” he traced her cheekbone with the fingers of his right hand before lifting her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. “You always treated me different than John and Arthur, even Freddie. I thought I was just… your best friend’s older brother.”

“I treated you different because you intimidated me.” Tommy raised one of his eyebrows, making her giggle. “You were always observing me as if I didn’t belong there, with your family. Then the next day you would sit and talk to me for hours and then you would ignore me. It gave me backlash.” They laughed together and then he talked.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N), I’m sorry for intimidating you and I would like you to know that I’m very much in love with you.” His smile made her smile too and then he kissed her again, soft and sweet, and (Y/N) realised that she probably should thank Freddie for giving them both a push with his dare.

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​​

[squidproquoclarice]

All the questions for the relationship meme :^)

All the questions for Sadithur (as discussed!), done.  This one’s going largely under a cut because it’s long!  Numerous other people requested a single answer, but since I got this one, please go ahead and refer to this for it.

PRE-RELATIONSHIP

How did they first meet?

He came to rob her house for survival supplies, and instead ended up rescuing her from being held prisoner by the men who’d murdered her husband.  Not exactly a meet cute.

What was their first impression of each other?

Uhhhh, well.  Arthur’s first impression of Sadie was “poor shocked woman who’s had her house broken into, her husband murdered, and been attacked herself by O’Driscolls for the last three days”.  And Sadie’s first impression of Arthur is probably “large strange man who was in my house, shot the bastards who broke in, and is clearly a violent man himself, even if he saved me, and I’m not inclined to trust pretty much any man right now, let alone one with a gun.”  Not the most promising beginning.

Did any of their friends or family want them to get together?

Hosea definitely hoped for them to become a couple at some point if they survived what was to come, even though he knew at that time neither of them was in a good place for it.  Hosea’s very much the cheerleader for his kids being happy, to judge from his trying to get Abigail and John to reconcile, and given I’m sure he knows about Eliza and Isaac, he knows how lonely and traumatized Arthur is, and also sees the remarkable rapport and ease of manner he develops with Sadie.  I also think Abigail, who loves both Arthur and Sadie deeply, kind of hoped for it also.  She knows how lonely they both are, and sees how they are around each other, and we know she’s definitely a bit of a romantic and a believer in the power of love.  I suspect Tilly might have leaned in that direction too, because Tilly’s perceptive AF, and Arthur’s Big Bro. Who felt romantic feelings first?

Arthur.  Understandably so, as his grief for Isaac and Eliza is further in the past than Sadie’s for Jake.  It was still only a matter of a couple of months difference, though. Did either of them try to resist their feelings?

Not so much resisted as restrained.  They readily accepted they felt that way, and that the person they felt romantic feelings towards was more than worthy of it.  They were just questioning whether it was right and fair to put those feelings on the other person.  Both of them had concerns--Arthur felt like he had nothing to offer Sadie and had no right to impose on her like that with his feelings, and Sadie had concerns that Arthur would just be bulldozed into a relationship from just being happy to be wanted, and she was unwilling to hurt him like that.

If you had told one of them that the other would be their soulmate, what would they think? Almost immediately the two of them click in a profound way and they’re very close and comfortable with each other.  The trust and affection and deep friendship is already there, so I don’t think they’d be shocked to hear they’d be so important to each other.  But they would likely have both been very surprised at the idea of also being together romantically and sexually at some point.  Not as a reflection of the other person being unsuitable, but because after so much trauma and self-loathing and loss, neither of them could imagine having that in their lives.

GENERAL

Who initiated the relationship, and how did it go?

Neither of them really made a move.  It just sorta happened as a slow change over a couple of years from friends to a cohabiting queerplatonic couple to spouses.  

Did they have an official first date? If so, what was it like?

In a sense, their first date was that shopping-and-gunfighting trip to Rhodes, which was pretty memorable, and shows off their immediate easy chemistry and battle couple potential.  But in terms of a genuine romantically intended “first date”, not really.  They were essentially a QPR by the time they admitted to now having romantic/sexual feelings as well, so things were intense and committed enough already that they didn’t need a date.  They just moved right towards getting married.

What was their first kiss like?

They both had resolved to admit their feelings to each other after the wedding of two of their friends.  Then they got a little tipsy at the wedding, ended up saying a bit too much, and Sadie took the initiative and kissed Arthur.  Given he kissed back very enthusiastically, she could be pretty sure he wasn’t just playing along with her.  But they realized they needed to talk, so they tabled it until the next day when they were sober again and could talk about it.

Were they each other’s first anything (kiss, relationship, etc.)?

For Sadie, no.  She’d been married very happily to Jake.  For Arthur, this was the first relationship with solid grounding and a solid future rather than youthful fantasy like Mary, and he’s surprised at how easy it is to be with Sadie, including being vulnerable, because of that trust.  It’s also the first time he’s had sex and actually really been comfortable and enjoyed it rather than just being left feeling awkward and even more alone, given he comes across very strongly as some type of asexual (I write him specifically as demisexual) and didn’t have opportunities for the emotional intimacy he needs to be interested in sex.  Both of them actually had their first kiss in a same-sex romance, though Sadie wasn’t able to acknowledge hers as romantic until much later.

What’s their height difference? Age difference?

Given Roger and Alex’s heights, and their corresponding relative heights in-game looking accurate to that height differential, I put Arthur at 6’ish and Sadie at 5’4”ish, so there’s an 8 inch height difference.  As for age, it’s canonical that Arthur was born in 1863.  I have him as a July birthdate, so he’s 35 for the early bits of the game, and 36 for most of it.  Sadie appears to be 30ish (she’s definitely no 24-year-old), and I write her as having been born in April of 1868.  So she’s 31 for all of RDR2.   That puts their age difference as a smidge under 5 years. 

What’s their relationship with each other’s families?

Both of them have lost their biological parents by 1899.  Arthur’s only bio sibling (David) died even before Arthur even knew him.  Sadie lost an older brother (Henry), and she’s become estranged from her younger sister Caroline, though they patch that up.  Arthur has yet to meet Caro, though, as she’s been living in Oregon.  So the only real family in question was the gang, and clearly Sadie was not only accepted by them, she actually stepped up and led them.

Who takes the lead in social situations?

Sadie tends to, and Arthur readily relies upon and defers to her experience there.  He’ll be the first to admit his life didn’t exactly teach him the boundaries and everyday pleasantries of Victorian social order, and sometimes that’s to the good.  Sadie’s not exactly a paragon of it herself as a hardscrabble farm girl who doesn’t defer to misogyny, but she’s aware of some of those rules, boundaries, and undercurrents in a way Arthur isn’t.  So he’s not too proud to let her take the lead in a social situation, or to ask her advice in dealing with something without giving offense.

Who gets jealous easier?

Arthur would have, early on.  He was far more insecure in himself (and as Sadie admits, he’ll always be a little more fragile than her in that realm), but he was probably more likely to morosely turn doubts on himself as a perceived inadequacy and personal failure rather than to get jealous of Sadie.  Being romantically or sexually jealous really kind of requires insecurity and lack of trust, and they’ve moved far beyond that.

LOVE

Who said “I love you” first?

I had to double check.  Arthur said it first when he proposed to her, but Sadie immediately followed it.

What are their primary love languages?

For both, I think Quality Time/Acts of Service.  Showing love for both of them is in spending time together doing things, doing little things for each other, and basking in that friendship that’s the solid foundation of everything between them.  There’s a bit of Physical Touch in there also due to both of them being somewhat touch-starved.  I do think Arthur has some Words of Affirmation in there as well, because sometimes he truly needs to hear praise and affection deliberately and unequivocally stated to be able to believe it’s real, and Sadie’s come to realize that and respond to it.

How often do they cuddle/engage in PDA?

They’re not really an overt PDA couple.  What they have they consider generally very intense but private.  They do like to cuddle in private, and small touches here and there are common enough. 

What are their favorite things to do together?

Just spend time together, to be honest.  It could be reading together (silently or one of them aloud), playing music together, doing chores, cooking, spending time with the kids, training horses, lying in bed talking, or anything.  They just genuinely enjoy each other’s company.  

Who’s better at comforting the other?

It’s a learned skill for both of them since neither was great at articulating feelings, but the months at Las Hermanas when they were both healing psychologically while Arthur was healing physically did a lot. They’re both fairly good at nonverbal comfort, and reaffirming each other. 

Who’s more protective?

Pick a day.  It can vary.  ;)  I think we see in-game they’re both fiercely protective of each other.  I do think Arthur has the knack of being protective of her in a non-patronizing, non-paternalistic way, which Sadie appreciates.  It’s still been hard for her to accept that needing and taking help isn’t admitting she’s weak.  Arthur kind of had to get over that notion during his TB convalescence because he constantly needed help for things.

Do they prefer verbal or physical affection?

A mix of both.  Usually not big overt dramatic demonstrations, since that’s not their dynamic, but quick little affectionate touches (on the arm, the cheek, etc.), using fond nicknames and pet names, and things like that. 

What are some songs that apply to their relationship, in-universe or otherwise?

I’ll keep working on this and probably post some of my Sadithur playlist at some point.

What kind of nicknames do they call each other?

“Art” and “Daisy” are their private affectionate nicknames, given Sadie jokingly calling him “artsy Art” as he’s an artist, and Arthur admitting he couldn’t come up with a fitting nickname from “Sadie” and just rearranging the sounds a bit.  After Sadie used it in-game, “honey” is probably the most common pet name they use.

DOMESTIC LIFE

If they get married, who proposes?

Arthur did.  That’s not because Sadie is a traditionalist by any means.  But I do think there’s the part of her that likes to know she’s not steamrollering someone, and that they got to take their own initiative.  Then especially in Arthur’s case, I think he needed to ask.  She needed to be sure that Arthur wanted to be with her, rather than it being a case of her wanting him and him going along with it from being happy to be wanted by her.  I also think he needed it too to prove to himself he could be confident enough in what he had to offer Sadie to ask, and to stand equal to her. 

What’s the wedding like? Who attends?

They had a very small wedding at their home in Chuparosa, for several reasons. One is because they’re just not the type for huge demonstrative parties for their own sake, even if they enjoy them when they’re celebrations for someone else.  Neither of them really likes being a massive center of attention.  Two, they were fairly alone.  They’d made some friends in Mexico, but aside from Charles (who they knew went to Canada), everyone else from the gang was a mystery to them.  Three, they kept it small and quiet also since they’d sorta accidentally ended up playing fake married since Arthur’s admission to Las Hermanas in order to stick together.  So everyone already assumed they were a married couple, and they didn’t want it to become a big obvious thing.  Sister Calderon was the officiant (since it was a secular wedding of two avowed non-Catholics), and their friends Pedro and Juanita Estevez from Las Hermanas were the witnesses.  Dr. Felipe Garcia, Arthur’s doctor who’d also become a friend, also attended, as did Albert Mason, who they’d found in Escalera a few weeks before on yet another wildlife photography expedition. 

How many kids do they have, if any? What are they like?

Mild Sunrise spoiler ahoy, but as of 1908 they’ll have four: Beatrice (born 1902), Matthew (born 1903), Susanna (born 1905, adopted by them in 1907) and Andrew (born in 1908).  I also see them as likely taking in some older kids later once Susie and Andy are a bit older, because Arthur in particular would be passionate about the need to try to give a couple of orphaned and/or homeless teens and near-teens a home.  He knows the kind of people who take you in, or if it doesn’t happen at all, can make a huge difference.  As for personality, Bea’s very much a fierce no-nonsense sort but very protective of the younger kids, Mattie’s a sweet boy who’s going to become a gentle giant, and as for Susie and Andy, I’ll wait to see what they tell me.  Andy’s not born yet, and Susie’s both very young and dealing with the trauma of losing her family to Micah’s gang, so she’s understandably not showing much of her true personality just now. 

Do they have any pets?

Aside from a lot of horses?  They ended up with a black cat (Dido) at the very end of 1899, adopted during the first weeks of Arthur’s convalescence at Las Hermanas and helping keep him company during all that bed rest.  Then they picked up a stray dog (Dusty) in Armadillo in 1901 during fighting the cholera epidemic--this is the Armadillo “Mutt” in-game.  The most recent addition is a border collie puppy (Dorothy), who they’ve adopted from MacFarlane’s Ranch in 1907, given Charlie the border collie being there in RDR1.  

Who’s the stricter parent?

This ended up being something of a big fight, actually, and probably the first huge blow-out in their marriage.  Sadie felt like she was the only one providing discipline and accountability as Bea got old enough to start to need it.  Arthur understandably was feeling his way through parenting since mostly what he has is negative examples from Lyle (physical abuse) and Dutch (profound psychological abuse).  Even Hosea’s parenting was sort of indirect and elusive sometimes.  So he was being very hands-off on discipline out of a need to make certain the kids knew they were loved, and to not worry that he was hurting them.  But he couldn’t do that and leave Sadie all the heavy lifting while he gets to be identified as the “nice” parent and the joybringer, and the two of them came to realize that.  I’d say they’re about even now.   

Who kills the bugs in the house?

Both of them.  Neither is squeamish by any means.

How do they celebrate holidays?

Usually fairly quietly at home with family, but with remembrances of things dear to them.  Songs and music, decorations, favorite foods, little family rituals.  They like to keep that kind of thing alive where they can.

Who’s more likely to convince the other to come back to sleep in the morning?

Sadie.  She knows how hard farming is, so she’s up and at it when there’s work to be done.  But she never had Arthur’s long years of anxious need to stay busy no matter what so he was proving his usefulness.

Who’s the better cook?

They’re both pretty decent at it.  Sadie actually likes cooking, but she doesn’t like being expected to do it just because she’s a woman, so she’s rather protective of that notion.  Arthur came to it late, as kitchen duty was one of the first light jobs a TB patient at Las Hermanas could have after being allowed off total bed rest.  Given how bored he was by then, cooking became something really exciting, and he found out he actually enjoyed it, both the kind of soothing ritual of all those steps, and then producing something tangible by it. 

[tommyspeakycap]

omg could we have more headcanons of tommy (and the whole shelby fam) taking care of little shelby when she was a baby 🥺🥺 thanks

polly stands by the fact that you were the cutest of all the family

you were little and chubby and the most beautiful little thing ever

tiny with chubby cheeks

fat little hands

chubby legs

little baby rolls

everything about you was the cutest thing ever

arthur could be found CONSTANTLY holding you

he was #obsessed lol

he was not one to call out his father

however

the nights he would come in drunk and your crying would annoy him

arthur would challenge him then

“put her the fuck down.”

he wasn’t opposed to throwing a punch after situating himself between your crib and your father

he didn’t like other people holding you

other than like polly and tommy and stuff

“support her head-her hEAD!”

“i’ve got her fucking head, arthur for gods sake.”

“you-just, give her back time. just give her back to me if you’re not going to hold her right.”

and then he’ll most definitely take you back into his arms and cuddle you into his chest with baby you letting loose a happy gurgle

tommy’s very fatherly

he’s just busier than arthur really

but he takes the father role very quickly

especially after arthur senior leaves and their mother died and arthur junior struggles to cope

and so arthur is drunk a lot

john and ada are still basically kids too

so tommy had to take the role of dad

and he honestly doesn’t really mind all that much

because having his baby sister tucked into the crook of his arm is not only comforting for her but also to the gangster

and he’s like?? the softest guy ever around baby you

he even talks is BABY VOICES

i need to see pre war tommy lol

but anyway

and when you start walking he and arthur baby proof every possible area of the house

“you missed the fucking cupboard, arthur! she’s jammed her finger now!” tommy shouts over a screaming baby

“it’s alright, baby, you’re okay.” he tried to insist, to no avail

alas

apparently kissing it better seemed to do the trick that no medical treatment ever would

tommy carries baby you fucking everywhere

people joke that you barley learned to walk until you were like ??

probably five??

because tommy carried you everywhere

i stand by my hc that arthur puts on the best voices for the bedtime stories

but tommy has the most dramatic narrators voice

so sometimes they would partner up and become the dynamic duo of stories

and each member of the family would come in at night to kiss your forehead and tuck you into bed

you were probably secretly polly’s favourite

and ada was obsessed with you

she wasn’t a particularly soft girl

but she absolutely adored you

she loved to dress you up and teach you girly stuff

and steal you away from your older brothers to spend some quality sister time even if you could only say “ah.” back to hear in a baby voice

or sometimes

“aDA!” yelled right at her happily

ada also liked to show off to her friends that you were literally the cutest and smartest baby in all of birmingham

john’s like

a littler rougher with you

but still the softest when you’re with him

when he’s got baby sister on his hip, people know that they’ll die the minute they try to start something

it was like

he’s allowed to tease you mercilessly

he’ll call you dummy baby

and like fun at you chewing on your fist even if you don’t understand and just laugh at him

and he’s allowed to push you back when you toddle towards him as a game

but if someone ELSE tried to tease you or push you

ho ho ho

les just say it would NOT end well for them

even his other siblings

one time john nearly got physical with arthur when he jokingly called you chubby

“she’s just cushioned, arthur, don’t be so fucking rude.”

and arthur was like ????

john then snatched you from his hands and marched away

(insert kim kardashian hitting khloe with her handbag and going “don’t be fucking RUDE”)

and tommy is like....

least we know he’ll protect her?? i guess...

tommy is the one who deals with the snotty noses and pukey days

with the helping hand and the mother guide of his aunt polly

arthur couldn’t for several reasons

1) he tried not to find it disgusting, but did and could not ignore or deny that

and 2) he was a worrier and he was literally too much to handle

so tommy would put on his soothing baby voice and pout his lips as he spoke to you

his itty bitty baby sister

“i’m so sorry, baby. i know, i know it hurts. but tommy’s right here okay, i’m right here.”

and then you scream tom tom because you didn’t take being unwell very easily when you were a baby

babies don’t understand why their tummy hurts

but polly always manages to concoct up some old gypsy method that would eventually lull you to sleep on thomas’ chest

muttering his quiet; “i love you sweet baby.” softly

because yes

he loves all of his siblings

and all of his siblings love him

but there is no greater love

and no greater bond within that family

than had been between you and tommy since you were a tiny tot who knew only “tom tom” in your vocabulary

you’re his sweet girl

and he, your tom tom

forever and always

[megswritingplace]

How Do You Sleep? (Shelby Sister fic)

So, for the first time ever, I’m posting my work on Tumblr as well as AO3. This fic will follow a slightly altered timeline for the Shelby’s, as another Sibling is introduced (and John is still alive). Any thoughts/comments/questions are appreciated. I’m hoping to make this a whole story, but bare with me as writings block is strong atm.

Chapter 1

St Abigail’s School for Girls, Sussex 

“As you know from the letters we sent Mr. Shelby, we had a few tense years to begin with. But, considering her upbringing, that was to be expected,” the woman Tommy was following spoke plainly, unbothered that she had just openly insulted him and his family. He nodded along though, hoping the insult would counteract the fact that he had never read any letter the school had sent him. He never saw the need for the correspondence, it was their job to deal with any problem, and what could he have done from Small Heath anyway? 

“The recent years have shown a remarkable improvement. I would go as far as to say she’s now one of our model students,” the woman continued talking, as she led him down yet another never-ending corridor.  

Her words surprised Tommy greatly. He had hoped he was coming home with an average report at best, even that would have been better than the rest of the Shelby’s put together. Well, except Michael, and possibly Ada, although Tommy knew she only liked to think she was better than her name after living in London for so long. A ‘model student’ was much more than Tommy was expecting, especially when he remembered who he had brought here all those years ago. The thought made him apprehensive to see who he would be taking home this afternoon. If she had changed so drastically, how would she fit back into family dynamic again? 

“I apologise again for not being able to keep her here until her 18th Birthday, but we really need the space back for some of the new girls coming before September. And now she’s officially finished, we can’t legally keep her here. I know you’re a busy man Mr. Shelby, but you’re only her legal guardian for a few more months; and the last I heard there was talk of University,” the woman stated. To Tommy’s ears, she sounded more excited than she had any right to be. University was a word the rest of the family barely knew, it was sure to go down like a led balloon if it was ever brought up.  

Before the woman could add anything else to her one-sided conversation, she finally stopped walking. She had brought them before two large mahogany doors, that looked just as heavy as Tommy’s heart felt in that moment. The two brass knobs attached felt more domineering than anything Tommy had faced in years, including his now frequent trips to Parliament. He would rather face unrelenting Politicians than whoever was waiting for him on the other side of these doors.  

Tommy was able to take one deep breath before the woman pushed the doors open, forcing him to step inside. Tommy took the room in for a moment, finding it similar to his study at home. It felt just as luxurious, and ironically just as fake, as his own. His gaze wandered until it reached the one high-back leather chair facing away from him. From there, his gaze got stuck on the top of the head that was peeking out at him, covered in hair that looked incredibly similar to his own.  

“Alice?” Tommy jumped as the women’s who brought him here spoke, he had forgotten all about her. As she spoke, she began to approach the girl in the chair, whilst Tommy’s feet felt frozen to the ground. “Are you ready to go?” the woman asked with a smile, “Mr. Shelby is here to collect you.” Either the girl in the chair did not answer, or she spoke so softly Tommy could not hear her, but before he could register what was happening, the girl in the chair stood up.  

Tommy held his breath as the girl turned around to face him. He averted his eyes away from her face as soon as she turned, he could not bring himself to look into her eyes just yet. Instead, the first thing he took note of were her hands. Whilst one was cradled loosely in a fist, the other was delicately holding onto a book. With her index finger marking the page she was on, the book was turned so Tommy could read the title. Tommy’s instantly recognised the book and the cover, it was the same copy of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland he had dropped her off with. Based on the tattered look of the spine, Tommy guessed this was not first time she had reread it. A twinge of guilt pierced Tommy at that thought, though he could not explain why.  

Tommy knew he was making the situation more awkward than it needed to be, refusing to look into her eyes, and not even greet her, but something inside was stopping him. In truth, he just did not know what to say, for once. He had spoken to all manner of people over the years, and with his newly attached title, making small talk was an almost daily occurrence to him. But this was different. It was foreign but familiar. The last time he had seen her, she was ten, and did enough talking for the both of them. She could have talked for hours on end, about horses, and playing, and reading. But now, he had no idea what the girl in front of him would want to talk about. She had lived a separate life for the past seven years, alone, independent from the rest of Shelby’s and Small Heath. Another pang of guilt hit Tommy at that thought, though he knew why this time. It felt like the only similarity between now and seven years ago was the book she was holding. 

Tommy knew he had stalled for long enough. He lifted his eyes up, knowing it was time to greet the girl in front of him. However, when their eyes connected, he still found himself at a loss for words. His mind was racing trying to think of something to say. If he could not say something now, how would he cope in drive back to Birmingham? He should have brought John or Arthur, or even little Charlie with him. All three of them would be able to break this silence easily, even just by saying nonsense. Tommy opened his mouth in the hope that some words would fall out, anything would do at this point.  

However, just as he did so, a small smile came across the young girl’s face. For the first time, he noted she had an air of patience around her, a trait he never remembered her possessing before. It felt as though all she was waiting for was for him to finally connect his eyes with hers, because when he did so, she was the one to break the silence.  

“Hello Tommy,” she said in a voice as soft as her smile, something that should have warmed Tommy’s heart, had he not noticed a hard look instantly cross over her eyes. “Long time no see brother.” 

- 

Arrow House, Birmingham 

“Why the fuck are we going to all this effort Pol’?” John complained, watching yet another maid flit about the room, cleaning up non-existent mess. He was exhausted just watching them.  

“Yeah,” Arthur piped in from behind the newspaper he was reading, “it’s not like she’ll notice, she’s the messiest of us all.” 

Polly rolled her eyes at her nephews. Alice did use to be the messiest Shelby, but that was when she was ten, and lived in a house full of men. She had spent the last seven years away from them, learning things the rest of Shelby’s could probably never comprehend. Polly knew the girl making her way back with Tommy was not the same one that left with him, and she was not sure the rest of the family understood that. But they had all changed so drastically, how could they not think she had as well? 

“Need I remind you what school she’s been for the past seven years? Don’t you remember Pearl Higgn’s niece going to St. Abigail’s? She only went for a year, and look how she came back. You shouldn’t be expecting the same wild little ten year old to be walking through those doors later,” Polly knew she sounded harsh, but they had to be told. If they had unrealistic expectations for her, they were sure to be disappointed, and these boys could never hide their expressions well.  

Polly heard Arthur snort from the corner, before mumbling, “oh, we all remember how Pearl’s niece turned out,” making Polly roll her eyes.  

“Come on Pol,” John started, “even at ten, she had the most gypsy blood out of all of us. Running around the streets barefoot and filthy. Even Tommy couldn’t stop her most of the time. Do you really think the years could get that out of her?” 

Polly shook her head at John’s naiivity. Despite everything they had seen and experienced, the Shelby boys still held onto hope that their sister would come back to them just as innocent and sweet as when she left. Polly knew better though. Even if she had been in Small Heath, Alice would not have stayed innocent for long, but at least they would have experienced it first-hand and known why. Now though, seven years of mystery stood between them, and who knew what had happened to her in that time? And if Polly knew one thing, she knew the years at that school would have definitely got the gypsy spirit out of her, by whatever means necessary. 

[fyrapartnersearch]

rEEE writers inbound

hey there! i’m rhys. i am 22, live in the ct, and love ooc chatter! my ooc is pretty lax, but i promise my writing is a helluva lot more formal. i write in third person, past/present tense, and paragraph form. im not a rapid-fire writer, and won’t be able to constantly get replies in every day (i can get responses in anywhere between every couple of days to a week or two). however, i will ALWAYS put tlc into all of my posts and characters! i write anywhere between 300-900 words. it’s definitely alright if you don’t feel up to that amount at any given point, but i do appreciate keeping it somewhere in this range. im very wordy, and can spew out a novel if im excited enough lmao

  my limits are pretty general; i will not do beastiality, pedophilia, vore, or scat. i can indulge in a variety of kinks, but if it’s a little much for any average person, i’m less likely to write it out (i.e extreme ddlg or adult babies, furries, extreme pet play, etc.) but i can be persuaded to lightly touch on certain kinks as long as they’re not 10000% filth lmao i cannot, and will not, do seme/uke or top/bottom dynamics. absolutely not. queer relationships shouldn’t be defined by whose taking the D. i dont want to interact with squeamish little femboys, or awful macho men with downright rapey tendencies. versatility is key, and power struggles are what i live for! i will, however, indulge in BDSM dynamics with certain plots— although, domination isn’t always about penetration, you know?

  give me characters with aspirations, hopes and dreams, and crushing past experiences that flesh them out into who they are. no one is perfect, and we all have things that rear their ugly heads in the dark. problematic characters, male or female or anything in between, are everything. i love lgbtq+ characters, as i am part of the community myself, and will almost always be more inclined in writing queer characters. not to say i won’t write for strictly straight pairings, m/f, but usually i am iffy when approached with it if i am just meeting you.

  i write for all genders, ethnicity, and orientations! you can find a few writings examples of mine here. i am pretty welcoming of most things. smut, of course. some kink a little out there that you want to suggest? let's do it, dude. i am super OOC friendly and i am pretty much a garbled mess when i get to know you!  i’m a social person— i feel like a burden if you’re not into chatting with me, so please, if you’re not looking to be both a writing partner as well as a friend, i might not be the gal for you. i am open to crooked relationships, ones that don't function right, dark/morally corrupt characters, unconditional love, etc. my interests fluctuate! i am down, 24/7, guys! i only roleplay over email, but will ooc chat over discord or hangouts! here's a list of fandoms and pairings below that i am looking to write for atm. i do have many more, but these are just the ones off the top of my head!

_________

  Borderlands

Handsome Jack/Rhys

Handsome Jack/Rhys/Nisha

  Life is Strange

Max Caulfield/Chloe Price

Max Caulfield/Kate Marsh/Victoria Chase

Nathan Prescott/Warren Graham

Rachel Amber/Chloe Price

Frank Bowers/Damon Merrick

  DC

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd

Dick Grayson/Slade Wilson

Dick Grayson/Wally West

Harley Quinn/Pamela Isley

  Batman: Telltale Series

Bruce Wayne/John Doe

Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle

Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent/Selina Kyle

  Marvel

Stephen Strange/Tony Stark

Bucky Barnes/Sam Wilson

Thor/Bruce Banner

Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

Gwen Stacy/Peter Parker/Harry Osborn

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson/Vanessa Carlysle

  Uncharted

Nathan Drake/Samuel Drake

Nathan Drake/Harry Flynn

Chloe Frazer/Nadine Ross

  TTGOT

Asher Forrester/Gwyn Whitehill

Rodrik Forrester/Arthur Glenmore

Mira Forrester/Margaery Tyrell

Gryff Whitehill/Elaena Glenmore

Gared Tuttle/Finn

Gared Tuttle/Josera Snow

  The Walking Dead

Rick Grimes/Negan

  TWDG

Javier Garcia/David Garcia

Clementine/Gabriel Garcia

Clementine/Louis

Clementine/Violet

Marlon/Louis

Javier Garcia/Paul “Jesus” Rovia

  Far Cry (3-5)

Jason Brody/Vaas Montenegro

Jason Brody/Bambi “Buck” Hughes

Ajay Ghale/Pagan Min

Ajay Ghale/Sabal

Ajay Ghale/Sabal/Amita

Rook/Joseph Seed

Rook/John Seed

Rook/Faith Seed

  Punisher

Frank Castle/David Lieberman

Frank Castle/Billy Russo

  Mass Effect: Andromeda

Scott Ryder/Reyes Vidal

Scott Ryder/Gil Brodie

Scott Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Peebee

Sara Ryder/Vetra Nyx

  Kill Your Darlings

Lucien Carr/Allen Ginsberg

  ____________

Onto original plots!

——————

  Office romances/BDSM/Friends with benefits-turned-lovers

okay, so, i had this type of roleplay with someone a while back. maybe more than two or three years back that i fell out of contact with and i could never really get it out of my head because it was probably one of the best character-building stories i’ve ever taken part of. :’) i don’t remember their name, but i do hope they’ll contact me again if they ever see this. while some of this may seem specific, none of it is concrete and i promise i am very easy to get along with and very accomodating! the plot i remember had three different relationships— completely different people, with different lives and different worlds, with only one common thing between them being that they work in the same building. we can do all three, or we can do a few, or even  one! i dont mind.

  **pairing A; M/F preferred (lol i know broke my own rule, but i adore femdoms! extra: please come with an open mind. this is not a 50 shades AU, and i do not want it to be.) this one is between a CEO and an intern in their senior year of college. The CEO is a femdom, and freshly out of divorce, takes a liking to the clumsy intern who’d spilled coffee on her more than once. The intern has never been in a relationship with an older woman, let alone one running a multi-million dollar company, but hey, isn’t that the dream for some broke twenty-something down on his luck? She introduces him to BDSM, and while he’s hesitant, the idea is as exciting as it is frightening. He accepts her offer— while it’s difficult at times, he begins to learn more about her. Her ex-spouse, her young child, and her unwillingness to develop a sincere relationship with him. She’s had subs before, and while she tells him he isn’t disposable, he begins to feel it was the truth. He grows to have feelings for her, and while she isn’t too keen on admitting it, the feeling is mutual. I’d love to explore their dynamic in and out of sex, and the conflict between the intern and her ex-spouse. I love age gaps, and think it would be awesome to see them develop over time to find common ground to establish a personal relationship and trying to even out their power imbalances. I don’t mind playing either the CEO or the intern, but I am leaning more towards the CEO. :V**

  **pairing B; M/M preferred (this one is waaay more gritty and more dub-con than anything so please beware!) this one is between two higher-ups who have been butting heads for years— and occasionally, sexual tension neither have acted on. A is a snarky, openly gay man, and probably what some would consider shallow and noncommittal. B is a brooding, closeted ‘by the book’ type well into his thirties, and refuses to engage in anything sexual with men despite his obvious attraction; B has younger siblings he takes care of as well as his mother, and being the oldest son and only provider, hasn’t done a thing for himself in twenty years. A lives completely alone, complete with a bachelor pad and, the influx of flings that went nowhere past sex, and has risen to the top with his own sheer will. they have conflicting motives, and while both of them have an intense hatred for each other, they’ve never engaged in physical altercations in fear of losing their jobs. one day, A jabs a little below the belt, and finally, B starts swinging. this fight turns into something way more heavy in the company parking lot. what happens between them in the long run is something desperate, needy, and longing for real affection. it began as a mindless need for sex, angry and mean and formal, with B being especially unwilling to ‘give up’ his masculinity and ever be on the receiving end in fear of losing the control he needs to keep this up. i’d love to see them begin to see each other in a different light, and changing each other for the better. i’d also love to see A showing B that sex doesn’t have to be meaningless, and that he doesn’t need to fear letting A be in control. And B showing A that commitment isn’t as terrifying as it may be, with them gradually going from rivals, to friends with benefits, and eventually lovers. i, again, don’t mind writing for either! **

  **pairing C; F/F preferred. (aaa this pairing is way more fluffy and sweet, with hurt/comfort as a stable of their dynamic.) this one is between two small-office employees in the company. A is fairly tame at work in order to support her sibling(s), of which she has adopted from her father’s custody years ago. she is fairly confident with her sexuality, and while not being the type to frequent clubs, is dragged along by a few friends and there, meets B. B is a young woman who just recently got out of a relationship with an abusive ex fiance— B has only ever been with that man, and was never confident in exploring her sexuality due to a religious upbringing and parents who were dead set on traditional values. she’s never strayed from her ex, and while he wasn’t faithful or remotely good to her in return, she was heartbroken with their split. months after, he returns to the city and B’s close friends decide to take her out on a girls’ night to make her feel better— B coincidently sees her ex, and feeling childish and unattractive, heads off to the bar to get a drink. she’s nowhere near a drinker, and just before she does drown her sorrows, is hit on by A. while initially shocked, B is flustered and finds herself immediately attracted to A. they have a one-night stand, and while B believes that A would just leave in the morning, A instead lays with her until she wakes up, and leaves her number. B is too anxious to text her. they bump into each other at the elevator that Monday. they agree to be just friends, until B knows what she wants. A is willing to wait. B might have a crush, and A is intent on building B up to love herself and her body. i would overall prefer to write for A, but if you’re dead set, no prob!**

  Serial killer/1960’s/Small town sheriff

no preferred pairing! would love, love, love to see something between a serial killer and a small town sheriff in the mid-to-late sixties. we could make up a new little town, or find one to our liking! A is the sheriff who had been born and raised in this town with a good home life, loving parents, and a steady moral compass, albeit trapped in a loveless marriage. they know everyone, and every nook and cranny of the place like the back of their hand. this is the type of place where people don’t have to lock their doors at night, or constantly watch their kids when they’re out in the yard playing. that is, until people start going missing and horrifyingly mutilated bodies began to pop up around town. B is a well-liked baker in town; known to be genuinely friendly and kind, B has a very corrupt past. both of their parents were heinously abusive, and as a child, B developed sociopathic tendencies. B was inherently spiteful of the town and the people in it, for leaving them to rot in hell for eighteen years, and for never reaching out. B formed a god complex, his intentions to ‘purify the corrupt’. they keep tabs on almost everyone in town, and the victims they do take are put in the soundproof basement of his home to be ‘baptized’; tortured, beaten, and mutilated beyond recognition. A and B are friendly with each other as A comes to the bakery every morning, with B’s motives completely unbeknownst. one night, A, frustrated and pissed from the dead ends of the case of the decade, decides to head to the bar and relax. B is the one face A didn’t mind seeing that night, and one thing lead to another, with A and B in a dark alley getting each other off— i definitely see this as B grooming A to be a complicit pet, and when A gets closer and closer to figuring out who the killer is, he forms a deep connection with B. B develops a possessiveness over A, along with that sense of ownership he’d established between them. B manipulates A, coerces him into a false sense of security, and eventually— A finds out, and while B initially thinks to kill A, A is corrupted by B and forms some kind of stockholm syndrome for B. it’s up to A on whether or not they turn B in, or cover the killer’s tracks. B, despite his very sick and repulsive nature, develops a true infatuation for A, as close to love as they were ever going to get, and A is desperate enough to please B that they’ll do anything to not disappoint them.

  Post apocalypse/decades later/immunity

no pairing preferred! the plot I had in mind is loosely based off of a video game called "The Last of Us", which i am sure most of you have a general knowledge of! (definitely check it out if you don’t :O it’s a great game!!) the prompt i was shooting for goes something like this; in a post-apocalyptic world where a pandemic has killed off most living species, character A is a lone wolf with little to do with other people that don't benefit him, except for a select few. A is especially rough around the edges, as he's lived through some sick shit and lived to tell the tale. A had once been part of a group dedicated to finding a cure, but things went south, and a lot of people died. A had a close bond with the leader of said group, and coincidentally they were the only survivors. their past together, having been deeply demented and twisted, caused them to fall out. said leader has rebuilt a new group in the ten years since the last time they'd seen A. character B is the only known immune person alive, and has dedicated their life to being a resource to finding a cure. A and his (current) contact/partner in crime have something taken from them, and are determined to get it back. they do some searching, and are confronted with this group-- they have what they need, but are only willing to give it to them for a favor in return. no one can outrun their past forever. so, this plot isn't concrete. things can be changed, we can do whatever we want, and i am happy to comply to any revisions or suggestions! i'd really enjoy taking on A, if that's alright!

  TREASURE HUNTERS/ANCIENT CURSES/LOVE-HATE DYNAMICS/MODERN

treasure hunters!!!! yES!! think Uncharted or Tomb Raider. an architect/treasure hunter is being funded an expedition to find a lost treasure and they are forced to bring along a reporter in order to receive the funds. the reporter and architect certainly dont get along in the beginning— they bicker, and clash on most fronts. the expedition wasnt meant to be dangerous. what was initially thought to be a simple job turned into something treacherous; bandits, a team of hired hitmen and their leader looking to take the treasure for themselves, and some rather supernatural elements that they both couldnt quite put a finger on. the treasure hunter and the reporter have to work together to get out of this alive, and get to the artifact before someone else does. (the “treasure” is definitely up for debate!! we can chose a real life lost treasure, or just make one up!! it can be anywhere around the world, and everything is at our disposal).

  DEMON/INHERITANCE/HUNTERS/MODERN

character A has an awful time living in the city— alone, and without mom's guidance, completely lost. one day they receive a call about a deceased relative, one they'd never heard of, one that apparently left their estate and everything in it in their will to A. with nothing but the clothes on their back, A took a shot in the dark and drove out to this presumed "estate" come early summer, only to find that it's a mansion in a tiny little town with an eerie vibe and populated by the typical small town churchgoers and farm folk. living in this town was a hell of a challenge; everyone was nice, too nice, and people started to go missing. character B is an exceptionally charismatic, charming person and the only mechanic/handyman in town. A and B become friends, partially, when A needs to fix up the piping in their estate. A stumbles upon the attic one day, and for once, they start to get why this whole town reeked to the roots in weird shit-- their deceased relative was tracking something here in this town, having to do with all of the MIA townsfolk. DR has a board of possible suspects, and at the center? B. A shrugs it off as their relative having been paranoid, but the longer A stays in this town, the more apparent it becomes that DR wasnt crazy. B is, in fact, not the murderer, instead a supernatural being (open for debate! im on the fence with demons, vampires, etc.) on a mission to track down the monster, same as DR. i am so down for internal struggles, sweet gestures, and overall, two people just trying to make it work! i could also see A being hella paranoid that B is the monster, and maybe tries to throw cloves of garlic at them only to realize thats not exactly how this monster hunter business works lmao

  DEPRESSED WRITER/YOUNG MUSE/between 1920’s-1960’s/sex, drugs, & the american dream

m/m preferred! A is a severely depressed middle-aged man believing his life has been wasted. his wife left him with their child at her hip, his career was in a rut, and he had nothing left to live for. opting for suicide, he goes out one evening to purchase a bottle of gin to down with a handful of prescription sleeping pills when he returned to his apartment. instead of going directly home, he’s swept in by the music in an underground club for queers. there he meets B; all encompassing, angel faced, and the only person A didn’t know how to look away from. B is a former US Navy Seal, aspiring musician, and avid indulger of the human body— A stays a little too long, owlish and red, and after the show, B approaches him with a cattish smile. they spark a friendship, and A is thrown down the rabbit hole when B introduces him to his social circle, filled to the brim with drag queens, junkies, queers, and the overall unusual— he integrates into this community, his contemplation of suicide only a distant memory, and begins to find himself extremely attracted to B. he lights a fire in A, something dangerous and unquenchable, and A finds himself drawn in by the unpredictability. A embarks with B on a journey of self exploration, passion, and inevitable love in a world that scorned the oddities of human attraction and anyone who dared to be free.

  thanks for your time! if you've read through, please contact me at dotiscat@gmail.com on email or rhys#3615 on discord and mention kiwi somewhere in your initial message. n_n

  Rhys xoxo