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skateboreds · 2 years ago

Text

A Slice of Orange

chp. 2

*FKA The Orange Slice*

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: The most dangerous man in town has been staring at you nonstop, but keeps his distance until the night he walks you home...

tags: smut, medium burn, sexy stuff starts in chp.3, age difference, M/F, a lot of goddamn eye contact that turns into porn, porn w plot, zaddy joel, hand/finger kink, praise kink, mild blood in later chps, TLOU pt.II, NO Y/N

notes: Set at the beginning of The Last of Us Part II when Joel and Ellie live in the Jackson, Wyoming community, a few years after TLOU part I. Deviates from canon apart from that. Characterizations based mostly on the first game.

AO3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45087460/chapters/113424397#workskin

CHAPTER TWO

Ever since you arrived in Jackson five months ago, music nights have been your favorite. Once a month, the town gathers in the meeting hall, the biggest building in town, to play music and drink and dance. It’s become the highlight of your time here, and if you’re being honest, maybe the highlight of your entire life since outbreak day. Which, it’s not like you remember much from that time prior. You were only four when it happened, but the memories of your family before are happy, albeit hazy and brief.

You smile as you walk in from the brisk cold of a March night, hanging your coat on the hooks lining the entrance, already full to the brim with jackets and scarves. The hall is lit as it usually is, with a spiderweb of hanging twinkly lights, making the room warm and golden. You hate to admit it but you search the room for him, quickly scanning the faces around you without trying to seem too obvious. But, to your extreme disappointment, you don’t see him. You kick yourself for the forming frown as you head towards the bar.

It’s ridiculous, you don’t even know him, but ever since your interaction with him a few days ago, your mind has been a non-stop storm of Joel. It’s laughable that you thought you used to think about him constantly because the last few days had bordered onto obsession. You woke up thinking about his eyes when he looked at you with that curiosity, that hunger. Walked to the stables with the image of his broad shoulders behind you, dwarfing your frame. Went to bed imagining his rough hands trailing over your soft skin, drawing lazy circles on your stomach, lower and lower, painting in your wetness, raising those dripping fingers to his open mouth… You stop yourself short when you almost slam into a woman standing before the bar, nearly making her spill her drink.

You apologize profusely and side step away.

Ok, let’s stop fantasizing and just have a nice time, shall we? It doesn’t matter if he’s not here, maybe you’ll never even see him again!

This thought makes the frown deepen on your face. You don’t want to admit just how much that possibility disappoints you.

While you wait for the bartender to pour you a glass you turn to survey the room. There aren’t many beautiful things in this world anymore, so whenever you see one, you make sure to note it. This hall is filled with amber light and laughter and touch and freedom. A band plays in the corner, guitars and fiddles and violins, cheery and upbeat. It’s truly dazzling. Your frown is slowly replaced by a genuine smile. And the longer you look at the people swaying and laughing, you can’t help it, you giggle. At the sight of the spirit of human resistance. That people will always make room for beauty even when survival isn’t guaranteed. You’re standing there, laughing like an idiot when your eyes sweep directly into Joel’s, who is already looking straight at you. You stop short, making an audible noise of surprise. He is sitting in the far-right corner partially obscured by a pillar, which is how you missed him on your first sweep, you realize. He sits with his brother Tommy, and Tommy’s wife Maria. The married couple talk animatedly while Joel sits to their left side, a beer in his hand, and his eyes on you.

His gaze is intense…so intense you aren’t sure if he’s mad at you. Which you truly can’t fathom why he would be. Is he mad that he gave you so many cards? Maybe he feels like he was forced into showing you kindness since you were on the brink of being thrown out and he took pity on you. And now he’s annoyed that he made less than he would have. Maybe he wants them back, you realize with horror. That would tricky; you already spent them on food and a new hat. His expression is stiff, a wild light dancing in his eyes as he just looks at you. Maybe he’s just uncomfortable that you are so obviously interested in him, and he wishes a girl like you would stop mooning over him in public. But you hadn’t even seen him in days! Maybe he was avoiding you, you think with despair.

All of this races through your mind while he spears you with his gaze. His face is still, but his stare is full of molten heat as he slowly takes his eyes off yours and rakes them over your body, down…up…and back to your frozen face. You become extremely aware of the clothes on your skin, what is exposed and what isn’t. You think perhaps you are trembling and your heart thuds in your chest, the world starting to spin, and his eyes still continue their strange burning.

Finally, someone taps you on your shoulder and the curse is broken. You realize you haven’t been breathing and suck in a shaking breath as a young man comes into view, probably around your age, plain-faced and smiling. He points to your unattended beer at the bar.

“This is yours, ain’t it?”

You don’t know how long your drink was sitting there after it was called out, how long you stood there, consumed by Joel’s attention.

“Oh, yeah thanks. Forgot about that.” you mutter.

“I don’t think I could ever forget about a beer once I’ve laid eyes on it.” he says, looking to be expecting a laugh for that.

Fully ignoring him, you pick up your beer, realizing your hand is shaking as you bring it to your lips. You sneak a look back towards Joel and he is talking to Tommy, seeming perfectly calm, normal. There doesn’t seem to be any trace of the bizarre fervor from before, except for perhaps a lingering tightness to his jaw. You can’t be sure though and look away, down into your glass. Did you just make all of that up??? You feel like you’re slowly losing your mind.

“I’m Adam.” the boy says, sticking out a hand. You don’t look up.

“You don’t have a name?” he asks.

He’s fucking annoying, you think.

“Not interested.” you reply, dryly.

He barks a laugh and shrugs.

“Suit yourself, not interested. I don’t need to know your name, we don’t even have to talk. Just give me one dance.”

His hand is still extended and he pushes it closer, indicating he is wanting to pull you onto the floor. You don’t usually dance when you come to these things, you know some people in town, but not anyone you’d come to these nights with. Not anyone you’d dance with. There’s only one person you fantasized about pressing your body up against while swaying to music. But the thought of that is so ridiculous, stony Joel leading you on a dance floor, that you beat the image back every time it enters your head.

You’re ready to tell Adam you’d rather snort an ant pile then dance with him when your eyes flit back to Joel and you pause. His daughter Ellie and her friend that works at the daycare, you can’t remember her name, are standing by him now. The girls talk energetically and Joel looks up at them, smiling. He’s a different Joel now, his eyes are soft and warm, echoing the light in this room. Tommy chimes in now and Ellie responds by picking up a couple peanuts from the table and tossing them at him. Everyone at the table laughs, including Joel. It’s a laugh you can only see, not hear from where you stand, but it seems genuine and deep.

You’ve only ever seen Joel laugh like that, with abandon, one other time. It was when you originally arrived in Jackson and the first time you ever saw him. You were at the stables looking for work when he and Ellie arrived back from a patrol. They were putting their horses in their stalls, chatting, and they didn’t see you waiting by the back door. Ellie told him a joke, something you can’t remember now, and Joel threw his head back roaring with laughter, his whole frame shaking with it. She giggled, pleased with herself as he ruffled her hair and stared at her with the most love and adoration you had seen in years, maybe ever. The late afternoon sun pierced through the wooden barn roof like swords, and a shaft of light fell on Joel’s beaming face, his tan skin glowing, his eyes soft and shining. He was more than just handsome. He was wearing the proof of love and family and belonging all over his face. He was beautiful. You couldn’t help but stare. That’s when he looked up and noticed you.

You froze as his eyes, quick and perceptive and still warm from laughing, roved over you. They darted over your face before looking your entire body up and down. You don’t know what he beheld when he looked at you, only that his face held first surprise, then relief at not detecting a threat, and finally, a slow intensity that you had come to recognize from him. Something deepened in his regard and you didn’t move a muscle until Ellie noticed where Joel’s attention had gone. She turned towards you.

“Hey! You new? I don’t think I’ve seen you around.” she asked, smiling.

You turned to the girl before you, maybe in her late teens, a happy, pretty face.

“Y-yeah, got here just last week.”

The short conversation you had with his daughter had been the first time you socialized since arriving, and you were grateful for her kindness and openness. But for the entire quick introduction you got of them both, before she excused themselves to go home, Joel didn’t say a single word and his eyes didn’t leave your face. And you had no idea why.

You are brought back to the moment before you, to Joel and Ellie and their family. To the indisputable togetherness they exuded, and you suddenly feel so, sickeningly lonely. You are tired of being alone, of having no one to talk to, to laugh with, to touch. You want to belong and to feel someone want you. Hold you. You miss people.

All of this these thoughts pass through you in the span of only a couple seconds, and before you can think about it took long you are taking Adam’s hand and leading him to the middle of the floor. You don’t think about how he smells like sweat and beer, or how his hands go a little too low on your back, but mostly that someone is witnessing you right now. You are a part of someone else’s story in this moment. For the first time in a long time, you no longer feel like you are disappearing along with everything else in your life that has already evaporated. You spin in Adam’s arms for the rest of the song, the band’s music rising to a roaring crescendo. You don’t pay attention to anything besides how good the pressure of human hands feel on your body, even if they aren’t quite as big as the ones you’ve been fantasizing about. Around and around you twirl, the lights blurring, the other couples swinging near. You’re not focusing on anything until you spot Joel over Adam’s shoulder. He sits alone at the table now, and his face is completely unreadable. His eyes aren’t focused on yours, but rather Adam’s hands grabbing at your waist. You’re not sure what thoughts are behind that strange expression but you notice his hand is squeezing the arm of his chair so tightly that his knuckles are white. Before you can ponder this too long, Ellie and her friend dance past you, smiling at each other. They gaze at each other with shyness and excitement, and you wonder if perhaps they are more than only friends. The thought makes you smile. You are equally happy for their joy as you are jealous of it. You mean to turn back to Joel, to decipher his mood, when Adam suddenly yanks you towards the edge of the dance floor.

“Hey!” you half yell. You weren’t done having fun yet.

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks you, smirking and stepping close. He slides a hand south on your side and squeezes at the flesh on your hip.

Fury flares as you are suddenly very uncomfortable with every place he put his hands on your body, feeling like they left a hot, oily mark on your skin.

“I am not your baby, Asshole.” you say, shoving away and trying to pull your hand back, but he has it grasped tightly.

“Come with me to my place, and we can keep the party going.”

“Get your grimy little hands off me, imbecile.” you respond and this time you yank your arm hard enough to free it.

Adams’ face shifts into something more sinister as he takes a step towards you. You are suddenly very aware of how few people you know in this dance hall, how no one might pay much attention if you were pulled out of here by this idiot. You start to retreat, the hairs on the back of your neck raising as Adam stalks another step. Tensing up, you suck in a breath, ready to yell or punch if need be. You don’t know how to fight but this guy seems drunk and isn’t that large, so you figure you have a pretty good shot of getting past him. But before you can do any of these things, Adam freezes his advance and his gaze slides up off your face onto something much taller, right behind you. You still as you feel the heat of a body standing very close, the lights above you slightly shadowed now.

“I’d suggest listening to a woman when she tells you no.” Joel says from behind you, his voice low and even. Something deadly is present behind his words.

Adam just raises his hands and puts on a sheepish, false grin, the serpent back behind the mask.

“Hey man, we were just having fun.”

“I’m gunna give you two seconds walk away before I bring you outside, Adam.” Joel says icily, somehow the quiet of it sounding so much more dangerous. He enunciates Adam’s name, a threat of knowing who he was.

Adam stiffens and doesn’t so much as throw you a glance as he whips around, disappearing into the crowd. Joel rounds your shoulder then, coming to face you. His eyes are hard, but there seems to be real concern there too.

You look up at the face of the man you’ve been thinking about nonstop, suddenly so close to you. Without warning, you feel a crack snap through the steady hold you’ve been keeping on your emotions for the past five months. It hits hard and deep and the sudden imbalance makes you start giggling; it bubbles forth without your consent. You feel delirious, the entire weight of everything falling on you at once. Your desperate loneliness. Your constant fear and hunger and stupid desires. The fact that you let loose for one moment and some clown tried to pull you out of here. Your anger masked the true, debilitating fear you felt about men. And your biggest nightmare almost just came true. And then your devastating obsession with someone you don’t even know. The fact that Joel, Joel, came to your rescue tonight. When a moment ago it seemed like he wanted to evaporate you with his gaze. Why did he help you just now? Why did he give you ration cards and then stare at you like he couldn’t stand you? And why did he share that stupid fucking orange with you just to take it all back!!??? It doesn’t make any sense. It doesn’t make any sense. You’re laughing for real now, unable to stop the mania that had begun.

“What’s so funny?" he asks warily, his expression creased with far more worry now. You probably seem like you’ve lost your mind.

You can’t figure out how to explain the weight of everything you feel, so you take a second to let the laugh die down and take a calming breath. You decide to settle on a small truth.

“I wish I could scare men off as easily as you do.”

Joel considers this for a moment, searching your face, seeming to try and pick what path to go down. After a beat he slides his hands in his pockets and gives you a smile.

“Oh, trust me, there are plenty of men here that are terrified of you.”

You’re not too sure what he means by that. You’ve never felt like anyone in town even noticed you much, save for the plenty arguments you found yourself in, especially when you first got here. But you didn’t want to fight, you were pretty tired of it, actually. So, you mainly tried to keep to yourself now. Emphasis on the word try. Except for Tate. That guy can go fuck himself. “I don’t think I scare the men I argue with very much.” you respond.

Joel furrows his brow at that, seemingly genuinely dismayed at your interpretation of his words.

“You must notice how they all look at you.” he finally says.

You weren’t expecting him to say that at all. You don’t think you ever particularly noticed anyone looking at you for very long, except for him. Joel searches your eyes and finally nods subtly to the bar. Following his line of sight, you see a gaunt man standing with a mostly empty glass. He is looking at you, which you figured might be due to your proximity to Joel, but the man isn’t looking at him, just you. He notices your attention and smiles, timid. You focus on his expression, and it reminds you of how you must look when you stand in front of the bakery’s window, unable to afford the golden pastries. How you maybe look when you see Joel. He seems actually…interested. In you. He even seems intimidated. You stand there, shock coloring your face no doubt. Joel chuckles slightly and turns his head now to also face him. When the man meets his gaze he quickly ducks his heads and turns back to the bar.

“Is that really the first time you’ve noticed that?” he asks.

“But… I’ve never had anyone…say anything...” you trail off.

“Might be due to the fact that you seem to bite any man’s head off who gets near you.” he responds teasingly.

“All men want is trouble.” you respond.

“You’re not wrong about that.” he says to you, smirking, a double meaning seeming to swim under those words.

Instead of focusing on that though, you instead swivel around the room and sure enough, you meet about three, now four, different men eyeing you up and down. Each one seems perhaps timid, mostly curious, the desire clearer to you now. Joel follows your sweep, looking at the men a second behind you and one by one they drop their gazes, shy intimidation replaced by genuine anxiety when he locks eyes with them.

“You’re scaring off my admirers.” you say, awe tinging your voice.

“I can leave you to ‘em if you want.” he says watching you.

You realize, to them, you appear spoken for. The fear is clear. You’ve seen it when Joel walked through town, or claimed a seat somewhere, or reached for something. A quality you’ve always been envious of. People moving out of his way, careful not to touch what he had his eye on. Real terror. Of what would happen if they got in the way of his intent. It’s a prehistoric way of thinking, that you could be owned like a gun, that you could be something that Joel had. This thought would normally bother you, but the concept of you belonging to Joel sends a ragged thrill to your core, sharp and electric. The crack in your veneer lets a little of that thrill out and you can’t stop what you say next.

"I prefer being claimed by you, I think." you say, staring up at him.

His gaze on you transforms into something dark and starving, something predatory. And as opposed to Adam’s snake-ish look, this one kindles a heat inside you, pooling low in your belly and wrapping down around your knees, threatening to knock your legs out from underneath you. You’re breathless and your skin feels feverish as he advances towards you slowly. So slowly, like he wasn’t even conscious of doing so. He takes steps towards you, until there are only a few inches between your bodies and you’re having to crane your head upwards to look at him. His face is so close and fully in focus for the first time. You can see a scar sloping off the bridge of his nose and you wonder how he got it, wishing you could trail your finger over the short dash. You can also, finally, see his eyes clearly. They’re not brown but…hazel. A mix of jade and warm brown, like staring up at the trees on a summer’s day. They gleam with such illumination, you take his face in now, and in the glow of the gold light he looks…resplendent.

Dear God, you want to touch him so badly; you feel like your skin will light on fire from the desire. You want to hold his face between your hands and stare into those hazel eyes, you want to crush your mouth against his and swallow his every breath. You want to feel his hands explore your skin, greedy. You want him to slam your body to his, you want to feel yourself melt into him until it would be impossible to ever be alone again. You want him, you want him, you want him. With the high of your desire mixed with that new crack in your chest, you feel yourself unravel more and more and you make a decision that has now become unavoidable.

You hope your face reflects your endless craving, so he understands, and you blink up at him, slowly biting your lip.

You can’t be sure over the din of the hall, but you swear you hear a low groan escape his throat.

The sound erases everything else in the room and you can’t help yourself as you reach for his broad chest, your fingers just brushing the tan fabric of his jacket when, quicker than you’d expect, his hand grabs yours, stilling it. The disappointment of not reaching his body is replaced by the sharp low thrum you feel from having his hands around yours. It’s so much larger than yours, the skin warm and calloused and rough. You feel fucking feral. Joel says your name softly and you snap up to meet his eyes, equally crazed to how you feel in this moment. He indicates to the other side of the room though and, with much effort, you tear your gaze away to look. Ellie stands with Maria and Tommy, the latter looking right back, inspecting your hand clutched in his. Tommy raises a brow at Joel questioningly, playfully. Joel drops your hand at this and it falls limply at your side, the absence of his grip suddenly icy and painful. Like hopping out of hot water into icy snow. It feels permanent.

Right. Get a hold of yourself. His family is right there. What were you going to do anyway? Jump his bones in public? In front of his daughter? Does he even think of you in that way?

Doubt fills you, making you feel sick. The noise of the hall is suddenly too loud, the people dancing too hot and close. You’re not sure what your face has twisted into but Joel reaches a hand up to your cheek, stopping before he makes contact. He shoots another glance to the side and Tommy is whispering something to Maria, a smile dancing on both their lips. Next to them, Ellie notices their pointed attention and turns to you both. Joel drops his hand, lightning fast again.

“Can I walk you home?” he asks, sounding almost desperate.

You’re not sure what anything means anymore, but you nod weakly.

159 notes · View notes

mssalo · 2 months ago

Text

dirty old man - sleeping

In the quiet of the night, Joel can’t resist the temptation to have you just as you are - sleeping, warm, and all his to use. By morning, you’re eager to give back, slipping under the sheets to wake him up with your sweet mouth, proving that sometimes, the best dreams are the ones you wake up to.

Warnings: MDNI, 18+, somnophilia, age gap, caretaker f!reader, Joel is a perverted old man (imagined age 60-70), reader in her 20s, DDLG dynamic, daddy kink, consensual somnophilia, intense possessiveness, penetrative sex, p in v sex, cuming inside, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, power dynamics, and themes of control, degradation, size difference, explicit sexual content, Joel having to pop some pills to keep up with reader bc hes an oldie

more dirty old man in masterlist

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

It was the dead of night, and a profound stillness blanketed the world outside, making it feel as though you and Joel were the only two souls in existence.

He lay beside you, his warm body pressed against yours, a comforting presence that filled the space between you. His hand rested on your thigh under the covers, the gentle weight of it stirring a heat within you even in your deep slumber.

Hours had slipped by since you had drifted off, lost in dreams, while Joel remained wide awake, his thoughts consumed by a singular focus: you. Every gentle rise and fall of your chest, the way your lips parted slightly as you breathed, captivated him.

You had unknowingly spent the day teasing him, your playful glances and lingering touches igniting a simmering desire that he found impossible to ignore.

As he lay there, his dark eyes roamed over your peaceful face, memorizing every detail—the soft curve of your cheek, the way your hair fell across your forehead. So damn pretty.

It was a temptation that felt like a potent spell, pulling him closer to the edge of something he craved deeply. The urge to wake you, to make you aware of his need, pulsed through him, igniting a fire that flickered in the pit of his stomach.

With deliberate slowness, his fingers began to explore your thigh, inching higher, savoring the softness of your skin beneath his touch.

The intimacy of the moment was electric, every subtle movement charged with anticipation. He knew you were his, entirely and completely, and the thrill of that realization made his heart race. The way you teased him without even knowing it had awakened a hunger in him, one that demanded to be satisfied.

Tonight, there would be no holding back.

His hand slowly slid higher up your thigh, grazing the hem of your shirt, slipping beneath it.

You weren’t wearing anything underneath, just like he like - easy access, always ready for him.

He let out a quiet groan, feeling the slickness between your legs, even in your sleep. His cock twitched at the thought, already hardening against your backside as he pressed himself closer.

“Fuck, baby,” he muttered low in your ear, his voice thick with need. “Even in your sleep, you’re ready for daddy, huh?”

You stirred slightly, a soft sound escaping your lips, but you didn’t wake up.

Joel grinned to himself, his fingers slipping between your folds, spreading your wetness as he teased you gently.

He loved this—having you completely at his mercy, knowing you were his to take whenever he wanted.

“You know what daddy wants, hm, sweet girl?” he whispered, his voice dripping with lust. “Gonna fuck you nice and slow, baby. Show you how much I need this sweet little pussy.”

You mumbled something incoherent, half-asleep, but your body responded instinctively, shifting toward his touch.

Joel took that as all the permission he needed. He reached down, positioning his hard cock at your entrance, pressing the tip against your slick folds.

“That’s it,” he muttered, pushing inside you inch by inch, groaning at the feeling of your tight, warm walls enveloping him. “So fuckin’ tight, - even in your sleep.”

Your body tensed for a moment, adjusting to the sudden fullness, but soon you relaxed, letting out a soft whimper as Joel started to move. He kept his pace slow, dragging his cock in and out of you, savoring the way your body clenched around him.

You were still half-asleep, your breathing deep and even, but the pleasure was unmistakable.

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby,” Joel growled, his hips pressing against yours as he buried himself deeper inside you. “Always so fuckin’ good for daddy, even when you don’t know it.”

He thrust into you slowly, his hand gripping your hip to hold you in place.

You whimpered again, your body stirring as the pleasure built inside you, even in your sleepy state. Joel smirked, loving how easily he could turn you on, how quickly you responded to him.

“You love this, hm?” he teased, his voice low and filthy. “Love bein’ daddy’s little fucktoy, lettin’ me fuck you whenever I want. "- always so ready for it, sweet one.”

His dirty words sent a shiver through you, even in your haze of sleep. You moaned softly, your hips moving against him, and Joel chuckled darkly, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you.

“that's my little girl,” he murmured, his voice softening just a bit as he slowed his thrusts. “Daddy’s gonna make you cum, just like always. - gonna fill you up so good, baby. 'You need that, don’t ya? Old man cum inside your sweet cunt?”

You moaned softly, barely able to form words, but Joel didn’t need a response. He kept thrusting into you, his pace picking up just enough to push you closer to the edge. Your body trembled, the pleasure building inside you, and before you knew it, you were coming undone around him.

“Fuck, baby,” Joel groaned as your walls clenched around his cock, milking him for all he was worth. “That’s it, come for daddy. Let me feel how much you love this.”

He fucked you through your orgasm, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he chased his own release. You were barely conscious, your body limp against him, but Joel didn’t care. He loved having you like this—completely at his mercy, his to use however he wanted.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he growled, his hips slamming into yours as he finally reached his climax.

He buried himself deep inside you, groaning as he filled you with his release, his cock twitching as he emptied himself into you.

For a moment, the room was silent, the only sound the heavy breathing of Joel as he held you close. He stayed inside you, his cock softening as he pressed kisses to your neck. And lastly to your soft lips.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he whispered, his voice softening as he stroked your hair. “So fuckin’ perfect.”

And as you drifted back into a deeper sleep, you couldn’t help but smile.

· · ────

The morning sun was barely creeping through the curtains when you woke, the soft rays painting the room in a gentle light.

Joel was still fast asleep beside you, his chest rising and falling steadily, a peaceful expression on his face. But as you lay there, the memories of last night flooded your mind—his hands gripping your hips, his filthy words in your ear, the way he used your body like he owned it.

The thought of it sent a familiar heat coursing through your veins. You couldn’t help yourself. You needed him again.

Carefully, you slid under the covers, moving quietly so as not to wake him just yet.

Your lips brushed against the soft skin of his stomach, trailing lower until you reached his cock. He was soft, but the weight of him in your hand made your heart race.

You wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking gently, savoring the taste of him.

Joel stirred slightly, but he didn’t wake. Not yet.

You smiled to yourself, your mouth sliding further down his length as you began to suck him off, slow and deliberate. The heat between your legs was already growing, the memory of how he fucked you last night playing over and over in your mind.

You couldn’t get enough of him—could never get enough.

As you worked him deeper into your mouth, you felt him begin to harden, his cock swelling between your lips.

His breathing changed, a soft groan escaping his throat as he slowly woke up to the sensation.

“Mmm… what’re you doin’ down there, sweet girl?” Joel’s voice was rough with sleep, but there was a smile in it too. His hand found your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he finally opened his eyes, looking down at you with that familiar hunger.

You leaned forward, the soft graze of your lips against his skin lingering as you looked up at him with a playful gleam in your eye.

“Thought I’d remind you of last night, daddy” you murmured, your voice dripping with mischief, heat in every syllable. “Couldn’t stop thinking about how good you fucked me.”

A rough groan tore from Joel’s chest, his fingers tightening in your hair, his hips pushing up slightly, his cock heavy and throbbing under your touch.

“Knew I’d spoil you too good,” he muttered, the edges of his voice low and gravelly, thick with lust. “Spoiled from Daddy’s cock, huh? Look at you. Young thing, just desperate for it…”

You only hummed in response, eyes darkening as you took him back into your mouth, feeling the weight and warmth of him press against your tongue.

You let him feel every inch of your attention, the way you circled your tongue around the head, teasing the sensitive skin there before sinking lower, deeper, lips sliding slowly down his shaft.

His rough breaths filled the air as you worked him over, and the steady beat of his pulse against your tongue was just as intoxicating as the groans slipping from his lips.

“That’s it,” he rasped, his voice thick with satisfaction, his hand guiding you further down his length, pushing you to take him deeper.

“Suck me like that, sweetheart. Just like that.” The words only spurred you on, adding a new spark to the hunger simmering inside you.

You worked him harder, hollowing your cheeks as you moved, watching his eyes go dark with lust as you took him in, inch by inch.

His fingers tightened their grip in your hair, his hips thrusting up to meet the movements of your mouth, filling you over and over, his cock sliding deeper each time.

You could feel his gaze on you, heavy with admiration as he watched your lips wrap around him, taking him so eagerly. The rough timbre of his voice made the heat between your thighs ache, every word only feeding your need.

“Just can’t get enough, huh?” he murmured, his eyes darkening as he continued to watch you. “Look at you, sweet girl, so damn hungry for it. Daddy’s cock got you addicted already?”

Your cheeks flushed as you looked up at him, your lips tightening around his shaft as you answered with another hum, letting him feel every inch of you.

His breathing grew more ragged, his cock twitching against your tongue as you took him deeper, savoring the way his hips bucked, the way he couldn’t hold back.

“Fuck, little one,” he muttered, his words edged with tension as he kept moving, guiding you, thrusting steadily into your mouth, each stroke deeper than the last.

“Just—look at you, a pretty young thing like you, all wrapped around me like this.” His hand flexed in your hair, the heat in his eyes pushing you further as he muttered, “Goddamn perfect, sweetheart, fuck…”

You moaned around him, the sound vibrating against him as you took him down again, feeling the rush of satisfaction every time he cursed, every time he let out a rough groan.

His hips thrust up with a final, shuddering need, and you could feel him reaching the edge, his body tensing, his grip in your hair tightening as he moved harder, needier, voice low and thick.

“Gonna make me cum, baby. You want that? You want Daddy to fill your pretty mouth?” His voice broke, heavy with lust, his words hitting you like sparks as he thrust one more time, hips jerking as his release spilled down your throat.

You took him in, swallowing every drop, not letting an ounce go to waste, savoring the taste as he finally began to relax, his breathing slowing, his hand slipping from your hair as he looked down at you, his expression somewhere between satisfied and awed.

“Jesus,” he murmured, his thumb tracing over your swollen lips, eyes warm, a smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. “You’re somethin’ else, baby.”

You wiped your lips with the back of your hand, smiling up at him. “Just wanted to make sure you woke up with a smile.”

Joel chuckled, pulling you up into his arms, his lips pressing against your forehead. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”

You grinned, your body already pressing against his, craving more. “Not before you fuck me again.”

“Damn, sweet girl,” Joel groaned, his hand sliding through your hair, tugging gently as he gazed down at you with a smirk of pure satisfaction. “With that mouth of yours… I’m gonna need those pills if I’m gonna keep up with you. Go get ’em for me, sweetheart. I wanna take my sweet time with you.”

He released a long breath, his chest still rising and falling from the aftermath of his release.

His thumb brushed your cheek, his eyes softening slightly as he spoke again. “Ain’t never felt this before. Not ‘til you came into my life. You make me feel like I’m twenty again, darlin’. Like I can’t get enough of you.”

His fingers slid down the side of your face, his touch tender now, petting your hair like he couldn’t stop admiring you. “God, you’re somethin’ else. My good girl, takin’ care of me like that.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you couldn’t help but smile, feeling the familiar heat building between you again at his filthy praise.

You leaned into his hand, knowing full well that the moment you got back with those pills, Joel wasn’t going to hold back.

He was going to take his time

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

uhh......yes <3

2K notes · View notes

theetherealbloom · 6 months ago

Text

I LOVE YOU, I'M SORRY

Summary: Your soulmate’s birthday is written on your arm, and it just happened to be the day the world ended.

Paring: Jackson!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Soulmate AU, Apocalypse, ANGST, Fluff, Infected, Violence, Scratching, Age-Gap (the reader is in her 20s) Romance, Unrequited, Longing, Yearning, Secrets, Injury, Blood, Jealousy, Secret Glances, Metaphors, Character Death/s, Raiders, Ambush, Hospital, Stress, Hurt-To-Comfort,

Word Count: 7k

A/N: I 1000% came up with this one night while scrolling through prompts and AUs I could do for Joel. I saw the Soulmate AU and I was like “oh, yeah,” *evil laugh* and then I heard the snippet for I love you, I’m Sorry and I was like, “yep, perfect, time to go through pain :D”

Side note: I’m dyslexic and English isn’t my first language! So I apologize in advance for the spelling and/or grammatical errors. As always, reblogs, comments, and likes are always appreciated. Thank you and happy reading!

Song: i love you, i’m sorry by gracie abrams

| Main Masterlist |

September 26, 1967.

The date emblazoned on your wrist felt like a cruel joke, a bitter reminder of a world that had crumbled around you. The small pulse of the glow on your wrist thrummed, a haunting echo of the past. September 26 was outbreak day. The day the end of the world had come crashing down, leaving chaos and devastation in its wake. The inked numbers throbbed on your skin, a constant reminder that your soulmate was out there, somewhere in this apocalyptic wasteland.

You traced the numbers on your wrist, the ink seeming darker today, wondering if you’d ever meet the person who was meant for you. What kind of person could they be? Were they strong, gentle, kind, or hardened by the harsh world?

Hiding the mark from Joel for almost a decade took more than just care; it took an absolute miracle. You met Joel, Tess, and Tommy on your way to the Boston QZ. When you saw Joel’s wrist and the date there, you almost stopped breathing. Your birthdate on his skin was an unexpected blow. The ink on your wrist seemed to burn, yearning to connect with Joel. But his mark didn’t seem to react the same way.

When Joel and Tess started sleeping together, the walls between your apartments were paper-thin which seemed to amplify every intimate sound. You often found yourself wandering the hallways late at night, evading FEDRA officers, sitting on the rooftop, looking up at the empty night sky, stars twinkling, the moon bright. You wished for something good in a world gone bad.

You always wore long sleeves, even in unbearable heat. If you wore a short-sleeved shirt, you never took off your jacket, always coming up with some insane excuse about how cozy it was. It had become second nature, a routine you hardly thought about anymore.

As you kept your head down and worked, the grime and sweat accumulates on your skin. In exchange for your labor, you were given ration cards to obtain basic necessities.

"If it's so hot, why don't you just take off the damn jacket?" Joel gruffly asks, his irritation evident in his tone.

You stay silent and shrug, avoiding eye contact as you try to walk away to the next station, hoping to distance yourself from him. But he grabs your wrist, causing you to yank it away in surprise. "Joel, what the hell?"

Joel's tone is sharp and accusatory, causing you to instinctively flinch. "You're being awfully quiet," he scoffs.

You meet his eyes, trying to hide the turmoil inside. "What?"

"Something's off with you. What aren't you telling me?" Joel steps closer, invading your personal space, and you instinctively take a step back.

Panic sets in as you desperately search for a way out. You can't tell him the truth, so you grit your teeth and force out a lie. "I'm just tired."

"You're lying." Joel's words cut through you like a knife, making your heart race and palms sweat. The intensity of his gaze makes it clear that he won't let this go easily.

You try to remain composed, forcing a small smile. "I'm just tired from working all day."

Joel narrows his eyes, clearly not buying your excuse. "Bullshit," he says bluntly.

You bite your lip, feeling the weight of the lie in the pit of your stomach. "I promise, it's nothing."

Joel takes a step closer, making you back up against the wall. Your heart races as you feel trapped under his intense stare. "I know when something's bothering you," he says softly, his tone filled with concern.

You look down at your feet, unable to meet his gaze any longer. You've been hiding this secret for so long that the thought of telling anyone, especially Joel, terrifies you.

"Please," Joel pleads, his hand reaching out to gently touch your arm. "Just talk to me."

"I have to go," you urgently declare, heart pounding as you turn and bolt away, ignoring Joel's desperate calls for you to stop.

Your heart races as you run through the dark, narrow alleys, trying to put as much distance between you and Joel as possible. The fear and adrenaline pumping through your veins drive you forward, but at the same time, your mind is racing with thoughts of guilt for leaving Joel behind.

"Why did I have to lie?" you think to yourself. "Why couldn't I just tell him the truth?"

But deep down, you know why. You know that if you were to tell anyone about the secret burdening you, it could cost both of your lives. And as much as it pains you to not tell Joel, there is no other choice.

The memories hit you like a tidal wave, pulling you back to that moment in time. But this time, it feels like you're watching from a distance, like a bystander in your own body.

"You can convince them. You always do." The words echo through your mind as Tess begs you and Joel for help. Tears stream down her face as she pleads, "You have to get her there. Keep her safe. Make things right." Joel shakes his head stubbornly, but Tess doesn't give up. "Please, Joel. Please say yes."

Everything feels surreal as you remember the infected pounding at the door, their screams like a constant reminder of what's at stake. And then Tess is gone, sacrificing herself with the rest of the infected to save the others.

Tess, your friend died that day.

But then everything shifts and you're in a different place, a house belonging to Bill and Frank. Ellie is reading a letter aloud, and you and Joel are there listening. "I used to hate the world," Ellie says, "but I was wrong. When I met my soulmate, there was one person worth saving. That’s why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do and God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep…”

You remember Joel storming out of the house with the letter, his grief and pain palpable in every movement he makes. It's a bitter taste in both of your mouths, but it's also a reminder of why you keep fighting – because there are people worth protecting and worth saving.

Joel may not even realize it, but you've been waiting for him your entire life. And the same goes for Joel.

The scene changes once more; the deafening sound of gunshots pierces your ears and suddenly you're back in the hospital. You're behind Joel, gripping a rifle tightly as you navigate through the chaos and bodies scattered throughout the halls.

Suddenly, you startle awake. Your heart races in your chest, and sweat trickles down your skin as you struggle to catch your breath.

You’re not out there. You’re in Jackson. You’re safe.

You briefly close your eyes, trying to shake off the lingering feelings of fear and loss from the dream. It had been two years since that fateful day in the hospital, and you were now living in Jackson with Joel and Ellie.

You gasped for breath and clutched your chest, trying to steady yourself with one hand on the softness of the sheets. You clambered out of bed and made your way to the bathroom, washing your hands and then your face. The cool water felt refreshing against your skin as you wiped it with a towel, trying to calm your nerves.

Taking a good look at yourself in the mirror, you saw the exhaustion written all over your face. The restlessness was evident in the dark circles under your eyes, and your hair was in a state of disarray.

"I look like I've been through hell," you muttered to yourself, sighing heavily.

You decided to take a shower, hoping it would help numb the pain. As the water cascaded over you, you let yourself sink into your thoughts, not really focusing on anything except the sound of water hitting your skin. Your bleary vision noticed the small cracks in the tiles on the wall.

Once you dried off and got dressed for the day, you headed downstairs to your small kitchen. The space had seen better days—cabinet doors hung slightly askew, and the pantry door refused to close all the way no matter how hard you tried.

You sighed, pushing the pantry door shut one more time before giving up and grabbing a mug from the chipped shelf. You poured yourself a cup of coffee, the bitter aroma filling the air as you took a tentative sip, savoring the warmth.

Later that morning, you stepped out of your little house in Jackson, pausing to take in the crisp air. The sun was just beginning to rise, casting a soft golden light over the town. You noticed the creaky and loose steps of your porch under your feet, each step emitting a groan of protest. The railings wobbled as you gripped them for balance, making a mental note to add them to your growing list of things that needed fixing.

It was just about daybreak, the sun slowly peeking over the horizon, casting a golden glow. You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your jeans, the cozy sweater you wore providing some comfort as you made your way to the stables.

You were part of the barn support staff on rotation and consistently helped out in the greenhouse. Sometimes, you were out on patrol, but today was a barn day.

As you cleaned the barn and took care of the horses, you unconsciously rolled up your sleeves, figuring no one else would be up this early. You were alone in the stables, or so you thought.

Lifting a hand to wipe the sweat from your brow, you sighed. Suddenly, you heard the sound of something dropping and a familiar voice exclaiming, "Holy shit!"

You whipped your head around to the source of the sound and saw Ellie standing there, her eyes wide as she stared directly at your wrist.

"Fuck," you muttered under your breath, hastily pulling your sleeve down.

Ellie took a step closer, her curiosity piqued. "Is that... a soulmate mark?"

You avoided her gaze, feeling exposed. "It's nothing, Ellie. Just... don't worry about it."

"Nothing?!" She looked incredulous. "You’ve been hiding it all this time. Why didn't you tell me?"

You sighed, the weight of your secret feeling heavier than ever. "It's complicated, Ellie. Joel... Joel doesn't know."

Ellie’s eyes widened even more. "Joel? As in... Joel?"

You nodded, unable to find the right words. The truth was out now, and there was no going back.

Ellie moved into your space, her curiosity getting the better of her. Without warning, she grabbed your wrist, yanking it towards her. Her eyes zeroed in on the birthdate etched into your skin, her face a mix of shock and realization.

"September 26, 1967," she read aloud, her voice barely above a whisper. Her gaze snapped up to meet yours, eyes wide. "That's Joel's birthday."

You tried to pull your wrist back, but Ellie held on tight, her grip firm and unyielding. "Ellie, please," you started, your voice shaky.

"Dude," she cut you off, her tone urgent and insistent. "You need to fucking tell him."

You took a deep breath, trying to gather your thoughts. "Ellie, it's not that simple," you began, but she shook her head, not letting you finish.

"Not that simple?" she repeated, incredulous. "You've got his birthday on your wrist. You're soulmates! How much more complicated can it be?"

Your shoulders slumped as you finally managed to free your wrist from her grip. You rubbed the tender skin, feeling exposed and vulnerable. "You don't understand," you said softly. "Joel... he's been through so much. And so have I. Telling him now, after all these years... it might just make things worse."

Ellie's expression softened, but she didn't back down. "You think keeping it a secret is any better? He deserves to know. You both do."

You turned away, unable to meet her eyes. "Joel... he's moved on, he doesn’t want anything to do with relationships, and I don’t want to disrupt that."

Ellie snorted, crossing her arms. "Moved on? Joel’s not exactly the moving on type. He carries everything with him, all the time. You think he doesn't feel something for you?"

You glanced back at her, tears welling up in your eyes. "And what if he doesn't? What if he sees this and... and it means nothing to him?"

Ellie sighed, stepping closer and placing a hand on your shoulder. "You'll never know if you don't try. And trust me, he’s stronger than you think. You both are."

Her words hung heavy in the air, and for a moment, you just stood there, lost in thought. Finally, you nodded, a small, tentative movement. "I'll think about it," you whispered.

Ellie squeezed your shoulder gently before letting go. "Good. Because secrets have a way of coming out, one way or another. And it's better if it comes from you."

As she turned to leave, you stared down at the date on your wrist, the ink seeming to pulse with a life of its own.

Maybe Ellie was right. Maybe it was time to stop hiding.

You sat alone on the bench in the food hall, picking at your meal and lost in your thoughts when a familiar drawl pulled you back to reality.

"Hey, darlin’."

The sound of Joel’s voice made your heart skip a beat, and a sudden warmth spread through your body. You nearly choked on your food, glancing up to see him settling next to you, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Hi, Joel,” you sputtered, trying to regain your composure.

Joel chuckled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “Didn’t mean to startle you. Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head, swallowing hard. “No, not at all.”

He leaned back, his shoulder brushing against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through you. “How’s your day been?”

You shrugged, trying to appear casual. “Busy, as always. Barn duties and all that.”

Joel nodded, his gaze lingering on your face. “Yeah, I hear you’ve been workin’ hard. Always see you runnin’ around, takin’ care of things.”

A soft blush crept up your cheeks under his scrutiny. “Just trying to keep busy, you know? What about you?”

“Same old,” he replied, his voice low and soothing. “Patrols, repairs, keepin’ an eye on Ellie. She’s a handful.”

You laughed, the sound easing some of the tension. “She definitely keeps us on our toes.”

Joel’s eyes softened as he watched you, and for a moment, the world seemed to fade away. The bustling noise of the food hall became a distant hum, leaving just the two of you in your own little bubble.

“You look tired,” he said gently, concern evident in his voice. “Everything alright?”

You hesitated, the weight of your secret pressing down on you. “Just… a lot on my mind lately.”

Joel reached out, his hand resting lightly on your arm. The touch was brief but sent a shiver down your spine. His eyes searched yours, concern evident. “You sure you’re alright?”

Your breath hitched at the back of your throat, but you forced a smile. “Mmm... yeah. Just going through a to-do list in my mind right now.”

Joel’s brow furrowed slightly, his gaze never leaving your face. “Anythin’ that needs fixin’, darlin’?”

You shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant. “Just a few kitchen cabinets... the hinges squeak, and the pantry door doesn’t close all the way. Also a couple of loose steps and a wobbly railing too.

He nodded, his lips curling into a small smile. “Well, why don’t I take a look? Might be an easy fix.”

Your heart fluttered at the offer, a mix of gratitude and the thrill of being near him. “You don’t have to, Joel. I know you’re busy.”

Joel chuckled softly, his hand lingering on your arm for a moment longer before he let go. “I’ve always got time for you. Besides, can’t have you fightin’ with those cabinets every day.”

You laughed, the tension easing slightly. “Alright, if you insist.”

Joel’s eyes twinkled with a warm light. “I’ll swing by tomorrow mornin’, if that’s alright with you.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the thought of spending more time with him. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’d appreciate the help.”

He gave a slow, easy smile that made your stomach flutter. “Great. I’ll bring my tools and we’ll get this place sorted.”

The way he said “we” filled you with a sense of comfort and belonging. “Thanks, Joel. It really means a lot.”

Joel stepped closer, his hand brushing against your arm in a way that sent a shiver down your spine. “Anytime, darlin’. You know I’m here for you.”

You nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I know.”

His gaze held yours for a moment longer, the air thick with unspoken words and the electric tension between you. Finally, he took a step back, breaking the spell.

“I should get goin’,” he said, his voice a bit huskier than usual. “Gotta talk to Tommy ‘bout somethin’.”

“Right, of course,” you replied, feeling a pang of disappointment but also a thrill of anticipation for tomorrow.

Joel lingered by the table, a hand on your shoulder. “Take care, okay?”

“You too, Joel,” you said softly.

He nodded and turned to leave, but not before giving you one last, lingering look. You watched him walk away, your heart pounding and your mind racing with thoughts of what tomorrow might bring.

The next morning, you were up at dawn, nerves and excitement thrumming through you as you tidied up the kitchen. Each movement was deliberate, an attempt to keep your mind occupied. But no matter how much you tried to focus, you couldn’t help but glance at the clock every few minutes, your heart racing each time the hands inched closer to Joel’s promised arrival.

As you finished your second cup of coffee, the knock on the door startled you, sending a jolt through your already frazzled nerves. You took a deep breath to steady yourself and opened the door to find Joel standing there, a toolbox in one hand and a warm, familiar smile on his face.

“Good mornin’,” he greeted, stepping inside, his presence filling the room.

“Morning, Joel,” you replied, the rush of warmth at seeing him making your voice tremble slightly.

He set the toolbox down and looked around the kitchen with a critical eye. “Alright, let’s see what we’re dealin’ with here.”

As Joel began inspecting the cabinets and pantry door, you couldn’t help but steal glances at him. Every subtle flex of his muscles under his shirt drew your attention, and you found it hard to look away.

“Found the problem,” he said, pulling you from your thoughts. “Just needs a little tightening and some oil.”

You nodded, trying to focus on his words rather than the magnetic pull of his proximity. “I’m glad it’s an easy fix.”

Joel smiled, his eyes locking with yours, sending a spark of electricity through you. “Told you it wouldn’t be a problem.”

As he worked, you found yourself drawn to him, moving closer under the pretense of handing him tools or holding a flashlight. Each accidental brush of your hands sent a jolt through you, the air between you charged with unspoken desire. You felt your pulse quicken every time his fingers grazed yours.

“There,” Joel said finally, standing up and testing the now-silent hinges. “Good as new.”

You smiled, genuinely grateful and a little breathless from being so close to him. “Thank you, Joel. You’re a lifesaver.”

He chuckled, wiping his hands on a rag. “Just doin’ what I can.”

You both stood there for a moment, the kitchen suddenly feeling too small and too big all at once. The silence between you was heavy with everything you weren’t saying, a tension that seemed to thicken the air.

“Joel,” you began, your voice trembling slightly. “I really appreciate this. More than you know.”

He looked at you, his expression softening in a way that made your heart ache. “I’m glad I could help. And I meant what I said yesterday—you don’t have to do everything alone.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you took a tentative step closer, the distance between you feeling like an unbearable chasm. “It’s hard to ask for help sometimes. But knowing you’re here... it makes a difference.”

Joel reached out, his fingers lightly grazing your arm, sending a shiver down your spine. “I’ll always be here for you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

The intensity in his eyes made your breath catch. You felt drawn to him, the unspoken connection between you growing stronger with each passing moment. Without thinking, you closed the remaining distance between you, your heart pounding in your chest.

His breath hitched as you moved closer, the air between you charged with a heady mix of anticipation and yearning. You could see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between holding back and giving in. The warmth of his body so close to yours was intoxicating, and you felt your resolve weakening with each passing second.

“Joel,” you whispered, your voice barely audible but filled with all the longing you’d kept hidden for so long.

He swallowed hard, his gaze never leaving yours. “I—”

Just as the air between you thickened with unspoken words, a sudden, sharp knock on the door interrupted the moment. You both turned to see a young woman standing there, her eyes lighting up when she saw Joel.

“Hey, Joel!” she called out, her tone annoyingly bright. “I heard you were here and thought I’d bring over some coffee. Figured you could use a break.”

Joel’s jaw tightened, and you could feel the tension radiating off him. “Uh, thanks, Vanessa,” he replied, his voice strained. “But we’re kinda in the middle of something.”

Vanessa’s eyes flicked to you, her gaze turning cold. “Oh, I see. Well, maybe I could help?”

Before you could step away, Joel’s arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close. The unexpected gesture sent a shiver through you, and you looked up at him, your heart pounding.

“We’re busy, Vanessa,” Joel said firmly, his hand resting possessively on your hip. “Thanks for the offer, but we’ve got it covered.”

Vanessa’s eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed in obvious jealousy. “Right. Well, if you change your mind...” She trailed off, her eyes lingering on you with a mixture of disdain and envy before she finally turned and walked away.

As soon as she was out of earshot, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Joel’s grip on your waist loosened, but he didn’t let go. His eyes met yours, the intensity in them making your pulse race.

“Sorry about that,” he murmured, his voice low. “Didn’t mean to make things awkward.”

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. “It’s okay. I appreciate the backup.”

Joel chuckled softly, his thumb brushing against your side in a way that sent tingles down your spine. “Guess we should get back to work, huh?”

You nodded, reluctantly stepping back, though his touch lingered in your mind. “Yeah, the step and railing on the porch still need fixing.”

Together, you moved outside, the tension from earlier still simmering between you. As Joel inspected the loose step, you couldn’t help but steal glances at him. The way his hands moved with such confidence and skill, the way his brow furrowed in concentration—it all captivated you.

“Can you hold this steady for me?” he asked, his voice pulling you from your thoughts.

You nodded, stepping closer to help. Your hands brushed against his as you held the wood in place, and the contact sent a jolt through you. The proximity, the shared task, the quiet intimacy of the moment—it all felt like a dance, each movement charged with unspoken feelings.

“Almost got it,” Joel murmured, his breath warm against your skin. You could feel the heat radiating off him, and it took all your willpower not to lean into him.

Finally, he tightened the last screw and tested the step, making sure it was secure. “There. That should do it.”

You smiled, genuinely grateful and more than a little breathless. “Thank you, Joel. You’re a lifesaver.”

He looked at you, his eyes softening. “Just doin’ what I can.”

As you both stood there on the porch, the morning sun casting a golden glow around you, the world seemed to shrink until it was just the two of you. Everything you wanted to say but didn't wash over you in the awkward stillness, and the feelings you shared were nearly visible.

The sun was beginning to set, casting long shadows over the landscape as you and your patrol partner, Mark, scouted the perimeter. He was easy-going, always ready with a joke or a reassuring word. You found his presence comforting, a steady rock amidst the chaos.

“Think we’ll find anything today?” you asked, keeping your voice low.

Mark grinned, his eyes scanning the horizon. “Nah, it’s been quiet for a while now. Let’s hope it stays that way.”

Just as the words left his mouth, a shot rang out. The next few moments were a blur of chaos and violence. Raiders, hidden in the underbrush, launched their attack. Mark managed to shoot one off you, his quick reflexes saving your life. But then, he was hit, and you watched in horror as he crumpled to the ground.

“Mark!” you screamed, dropping to your knees beside him. Blood poured from a wound in his chest, and his breaths came in ragged gasps. You pressed your hands against the wound, desperately trying to stem the flow of blood. “Stay with me, Mark. Please, stay with me.”

But his eyes glazed over, the light fading. You choked back a sob, fury and grief surging through you as the raiders closed in. You fought with every ounce of strength you had, slashing and stabbing, your vision blurred by tears and the pouring rain that had begun to fall. Blood and dirt smeared your face, and pain lanced through your body from multiple wounds.

The storm roared with fury, whipping the trees and lashing the ground with torrents of rain. You stumbled through the churning chaos, your clothes drenched and clinging to your skin, your muscles burning from the effort of pushing forward. Your vision blurred by the onslaught, you fought to keep moving, each step a battle against the ferocious elements. In that moment, all that mattered was survival - staying alive until the tempest passed.

It had been hours since Joel last saw them. His graying hair was in danger of being pulled out in frustration. You and Mark were supposed to be back by now. The patrol route you both took was supposed to be a shorter one.

Joel paced back and forth in the settlement, struggling to contain his anger. “Why the hell can’t I go out there, Tommy? She’s my partner, my—” He cut himself off, frustration and fear etched into his features.

Tommy placed a hand on his shoulder, his voice firm. “You’re too close to this, Joel. You need to stay here. I’ll find her.”

Hours dragged by, each minute an eternity. Joel’s rage simmered, his helplessness gnawing at him. He punched the wall, his knuckles splitting, but the pain was nothing compared to the fear of losing you.

Tommy had taken a small team out to search for you and Mark, but there was still no word. The storm raged on, making it even harder to find any trace of you.

Joel’s mind raced with possibilities – had you and Mark been ambushed? Taken by the raiders? Injured and unable to make it back? His heart clenched at the thought of you hurt or worse.

He cursed himself for not going out with you both, for letting his emotions cloud his judgement. He knew better than anyone that in this world, you couldn’t afford to let your guard down. But he had let himself become complacent, too focused on protecting you rather than seeing things clearly.

Bile rises in Joel's throat, the taste of fear and worry leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. He swallows hard, trying to push the feeling down as he anxiously waits for any news.

The bitter taste of regret and fear lingered on Joel’s tongue, each thought of what could happen to you making his stomach turn.

The metallic taste of blood was thick on Joel's tongue as he bit down on his lip, trying to hold back his emotions. The rancid taste of fear and worry lingered in his mouth, coating his throat and making it hard to swallow.

Meanwhile, Tommy pushed through the storm, his eyes straining to pierce the darkness. The wind howled around him, carrying with it the distant echoes of thunder. He called out your name, his voice barely audible above the roar of the tempest. His heart pounded with a mixture of fear and determination, each step sinking into the mud as he trudged forward.

The rain came down in sheets, making it nearly impossible to see more than a few feet ahead. Lightning flashed, illuminating the twisted branches and slick ground for brief moments. He stumbled over fallen logs and through thick underbrush, the storm making every movement a struggle.

Tommy's eyes darted around, searching desperately. He felt a gnawing dread in the pit of his stomach, a fear that he was too late. Then, in the distance, he saw a figure lying still. His breath caught in his throat as he hurried over, praying that it wasn't you.

As he got closer, he recognized the bodies of the raiders, their lifeless forms sprawled across the muddy ground. The sight was gruesome, the aftermath of a brutal fight. His heart sank when he saw Mark, his friend and comrade, lying motionless with a fatal wound. He forced himself to look away, his focus now solely on finding you.

Finally, his eyes landed on you, crumpled and barely breathing. His heart pounded in his chest as he knelt beside you. Blood soaked your clothes, mingling with the dirt and rain, creating a grim tapestry that told the story of your fierce struggle.

“Hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Tommy murmured, his voice trembling with urgency and concern. He gently lifted your head, cradling you in his arms. You stirred slightly, your eyelids fluttering open to reveal dazed, pain-filled eyes.

“Joel?” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the storm. The confusion and pain in your gaze made Tommy’s heart clench.

Tommy’s eyes widened as he saw the mark on your wrist, illuminated by a flash of lightning. It was the same date he had seen on Joel’s wrist—the same mark. Realization hit him like a freight train, the pieces falling into place with a sudden clarity. “It’s Tommy,” he said softly, his voice thick with emotion. “I’ve got you. Just hold on.”

But you had already slipped back into unconsciousness, your body limp in his arms. Tommy’s heart raced as he gently but urgently lifted you, securing you on his horse. He mounted behind you, holding you close to keep you steady, and spurred the horse into a gallop.

The ride back was a blur of rain and darkness, each second stretching into an eternity. The storm seemed to rage even harder, the wind whipping through the trees and the rain stinging like needles. Tommy’s mind was a whirlwind of thoughts, fear for your life mingling with the shocking revelation of your connection to Joel.

By the time Tommy reached the settlement, his clothes were soaked through, clinging to his skin like a second, frigid layer. Every muscle in his body ached from the grueling ride and the weight of your unconscious form. The rain had not let up, and his vision was blurred by the relentless downpour. But he didn't stop, carrying you swiftly yet carefully towards the infirmary, each step a struggle against exhaustion and worry.

Joel was just by the large gate of Jackson, pacing anxiously. The moment he saw Tommy approaching with your limp body, his heart seemed to stop. His face, already drawn with worry, twisted into an expression of sheer desperation.

“Is she okay?” Joel asked frantically, his voice cracking. His eyes were wide, darting between Tommy and your pale face for any sign of hope.

“She’s alive,” Tommy said, his voice steady but laced with urgency. He handed you over to the medics who were rushing to meet them. Joel instinctively moved to follow, but Tommy grabbed his arm, his grip firm and unyielding.

“Joel, wait. Look at her wrist,” Tommy urged, his voice low but insistent.

Joel’s eyes followed Tommy's gaze, landing on the mark on your wrist. Recognition hit him like a punch to the gut, the date etched into your skin unmistakable. It was the same as his. Realization dawned with a mixture of awe and dread. “Fuck,” he breathed, the weight of it crashing over him. The one person he couldn’t afford to lose was you, and now he knew why.

The medics were quick, their movements efficient as they assessed your injuries and began to prepare you for treatment. They lifted you onto a stretcher, intent on rushing you inside where they could better tend to your wounds. Joel moved to follow, his protective instincts kicking in, but the medics tried to hold him back.

“Sir, you need to let us do our job,” one of them said, a young woman with a firm but gentle voice.

“No,” Joel growled, his eyes blazing with determination and fear. “I ain’t leavin’ her side.”

Tommy stepped in, trying to reason with him. “Joel, you gotta let the doctors work.”

Joel’s fists clenched at his sides, his whole body trembling with the effort to contain his emotions. “I can’t… I can’t lose her, Tommy,” he choked out, his voice raw with pain and anger.

“I know, but you stayin’ in there won’t help her. You’ll only be in the way,” Tommy said, his tone gentle but firm. He placed a reassuring hand on Joel’s shoulder, trying to ground him. “You’ve gotta trust them to do their job. Let them help her.”

Joel’s jaw tightened, his eyes locked on the door to the infirmary where they had taken you. Every fiber of his being screamed at him to be by your side, to make sure you were safe. But he knew Tommy was right. With a heavy, reluctant nod, he allowed himself to be led away, his heart aching with every step.

The minutes stretched into an eternity as they waited. Joel paced back and forth, his mind racing with worry. He could still see the image of you, broken and bloodied, every time he closed his eyes. The mark on your wrist haunted him, a constant reminder of the bond that tied you together. He knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he couldn't bear to lose you.

Tommy stood by, watching his brother with a mixture of sympathy and concern. He knew how much you meant to Joel, and the revelation of the soulmate mark only intensified that bond. He wished there was something more he could do, some way to ease Joel’s pain.

Finally, a medic emerged from the infirmary, her expression tired but relieved. “She’s stable,” she announced, and Joel felt a weight lift off his shoulders. “She’s got a long road to recovery, but she’s a fighter.”

Joel nodded, his eyes filled with gratitude and determination. “Thank you,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. He would stay by your side, no matter what. The bond you shared was too precious to ever let go.

Days blurred into a haze of sterile white walls and the rhythmic beeping of machines. You drifted in and out of consciousness, each time greeted by the comforting sounds of Joel and Ellie. Joel's low, soothing voice often filled the room, whether he was talking to you or humming a soft tune. Ellie would sit by your bed, recounting stories with her usual animated flair, her voice a bright spot in the darkness.

One evening, as the storm outside mirrored the chaos within, you stirred slightly. The weight of Joel's hand on your wrist was a grounding force, his presence unwavering. He looked exhausted, his eyes heavy with worry, but he never left your side.

In one of your more lucid moments, you caught snippets of Joel's soft singing, the melody wrapping around you like a warm blanket. His voice was a balm, a tether to the world you were trying so hard to rejoin. He would often lean down to press gentle kisses to your forehead, his touch both a promise and a plea for you to come back to him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, you awoke fully. Your throat was dry, and every muscle ached, but you were aware. The weight on your wrist brought your gaze to Joel. He was slumped in a chair beside your bed, his head resting on the edge, fast asleep. He looked worn out, dark circles under his eyes and a shadow of stubble on his jaw.

“You’re awake,” he murmured, his eyes fluttering open as if sensing your gaze.

“I...” Your voice came out as a croak, and you winced.

“Here, drink up,” Joel said, quickly pouring a glass of water and holding it to your lips. You drank greedily, the cool liquid soothing your parched throat.

After a few sips of water, you managed to find your voice again. “How long have I been out?” you asked, your throat feeling slightly raw from disuse.

“Almost a week,” Joel replied, his eyes never leaving yours.

“A week?” you repeated in shock. It felt like only a few hours had passed.

Joel nodded, his hand gently caressing your cheek. “You were pretty out of it for a while there.”

You felt a pang of guilt for causing so much worry and trouble for everyone. “I’m sorry,” you said softly.

“Don’t be sorry,” Joel said firmly, his eyes filled with intensity. “Just focus on getting better.”

“I will,” you promised, grateful for his unwavering support.

The relief on Joel’s face was palpable, but as he set the glass aside, a flicker of anger flashed in his eyes. “Were you ever going to tell me?” His voice was quiet, but the intensity of his gaze was almost too much to bear.

You looked away, shame burning your cheeks. “Trust me, I know. It's always about me.”

Joel's jaw clenched. “I just… I didn’t think you could ever want me.” Your voice broke, the years of hiding and pretending catching up to you.

Joel’s expression softened, and he took a step closer, his hand reaching out to touch your cheek. “You’ve always been more than I deserve,” he murmured. “I just wish you’d told me.”

Tears filled your eyes, and you struggled to breathe. “I love you…” you choked out, the words finally escaping your lips after years of being held back. “I’m sorry.”

Joel pulled you into his arms, holding you close as you sobbed. “I love you too,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “We’ll get through this. Together.”

In the midst of life's storms, a quiet calm settled around you both, like discovering an oasis in the desert. Amidst chaos and pain, you found your soulmate, and love emerged as the unwavering light guiding you through the darkest nights.

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josephquinnswhore · 15 days ago

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replicate failure to protect - joel miller x female reader

summary: Joel cannot bare to lose you, not the same way he lost Sarah. Through his own self declared failure to protect.

word count: 1.8k

content warnings: ptsd episode, panic attack, mention of past attempted suicide, reader gets fucked up ig, blood, murder, guns, violence, age gap- unspecified. Established relationship.

It feels euphoric, the numbness that spreads from your side up your arms, parts of your body are fizzing with a lightheaded tingle as the blood seeps out of your body. Past the point of pain, the searing sensation of a dull arrowhead being pulled forward, taut at the hands of a single raider camouflaging into the surrounding bush—whistled silently through the air. The metal savagely tears through your flesh and stops right below your bottom rib on the left side.

As you lie on the ground, you’re unable to make sense of the blurred shapes and colours of the overgrown foliage on the slanted buildings, the sound of explosive gunfire is muffled by the ringing in your ears—you feel something. A tugging sensation, one that vibrates through the arrowhead and emits a protestful rumble from your lungs.

All you can make out is muffled ringing in your ears and some incoherent mumbling, watching the blurred outline of his lips move.

You can barely make him out, as he kneels above you, having snapped off the end of the arrow and tossed it behind him, knowing better than to take his eyes off of you for one moment. He’d looked away once, when he’d apprehensively watched you drop to the ground once the arrow had hit. In a moment of necessity to eliminate the enemy.

All you can make out is muffled ringing in your ears and some incoherent mumbling, watching the blurred outline of his lips move.

He knew tearing his gaze off of you a second time was a death sentence.

It had happened once before—the split microsecond that his deep brown teary eyes had sought reassurance from his younger brother in a moment of pure desperation. Pleading for any kind of comfort his brother could promise that she would survive, but she’d slipped away in his arms. The life in her eyes had faded the moment he looked away. Missing the last moments of light in her eyes that solitudes life.

This could not happen to you.

His aching fingers tear off a segment off his flannel below the last button, bending down to manoeuvre your body to slide the fabric under your back, wrapping it around the arrow to keep it stable.

The crimson blood had begun to seep through the flannel before he had finished tying a knot in the shredded fabric, even the loose strands of twine were stained.

But the blood.. your blood covers his hands, the colour burns the back of his eyelids. A burning sensation rises up his throat at the recognition. As he leans over you, the blood makes contact with his flannel, smearing a messy, damp pattern onto his clothes. He was reliving hell all over again two decades later.

But he broke his own rule, tearing his focus gaze away from your face to finish this task, it had been mere seconds of the process. He looked away a second time.

Speaking to you absentmindedly, his gaze returns to your face, dread filling his chest when he sees that your lips are slightly parted. The stress line in your forehead has ceased as your head is lulled to the side, the supple skin of your cheeks is grazed on the surface of the dirt on the ground.

Those beautiful, teary orbs that had just been staring at him with an unfocused gaze were now clamped shut.

A part of Joel wants to give up, reliving the traumatic event that had torn apart his will to live two decades ago, and left him with physical and psychological scars.

“No.. no, no no!” The shout is primal, a clear denial of acceptance that this was your fate.

The sight of you sends a jostle of dread through his veins. All he could see was himself re-living through the devastation of losing Sarah. On the account that he had failed once again to protect someone he loves.

Gathering his thoughts and thinking fast, he intertwined his hands and placed them in the centre of your chest, ignoring the ache in his knees against the crackled rubble of the concrete ground. He positions himself above you, bringing a inhuman-like strength into pounding his hands against your chest as he begins his compressions.

“Not you, not you baby.” He utters desperately, voice thick with emotion.

Unaware of his little brother’s presence—Joel’s eyes darken, black in colour and exerting a burning gaze through your eyelids, prompting you to open them.

To look at him. To prove he hadn’t failed you too.

An exhausted, broken cry rolls between his lips into the stale air between you, spit flying from his mouth as his actions become less precise and more desperate and harmful. Ignoring the fact that he had heard a substantial crack vibrate through his palms.

The burning sensation is all over, his shoulders, arms, wrists, knees. His heart.

“You’re not doin’ this, y’hear me? You have’ta stay.. you stay f’me baby.”

All the while your body is unmoving, limbs shaking with each downward thrust of his hands. “Just open ‘em for me, just look at me.”

Tommy watches the horrific scene, unaware of what your state was like—but he had seen Joel live through this once before.

“I ain’t mad at’cha baby. Jus’ open ‘em for me.”

Joel is begging you—if you can hear him, he can’t will himself to bring his fingers to your neck or wrist to feel your pulse point, petrified of feeling nothing.

His resolve crumbles when he sees Tommy, unable to stop.

“Joel.. Joel stop. Let me check, alright?” His voice hadn’t been this soft and insistent since he had pried his niece's cold body from Joel’s arms to bury her.

Joel falls backward onto the ground out of exhaustion, the ache in his chest is pressing upward into his throat, squeezing the life out of his oesophagus making him feel dizzy.

“She’s alive.” Tommy murmurs, turning to look at his older brother.

FOLLOWING MORNING

“You look like shit, Joel. Have you moved since we’ve been back?” He hears Tommy’s scornful voice, but he can’t bear to tear his eyes off of you. Watching the subtle rise and fall of the blanket that covers your chest.

“I ain’t movin’.”

Not an inch, not once did he allow his gaze to tear away from your chest, the proof that you were still alive. Some semblance of hope he was clinging onto that you would make it.

“You see her chest movin’?” He utters to his younger brother, seeking reassurance.

Without so much as a wink of sleep, he had begun wondering if he was hallucinating the faint movement from sleep deprivation.

“Course I do. You’re just tired.” Tommy reassured, holding out a mug of warm, black coffee.

Joel’s movements are piloted, automatic. Stiff as his arm lifts the mug to his lips, swallowing coffee with a bitter aftertaste of anxiety. The same heavy feeling builds in his chest for the second time he’d returned with you.

The pressure of his anxiety escalates, unable to focus his vision of you, or Tommy’s concerns he speaks, lungs stuttering and struggling to inhale as his hand begins to tremble.

Just shy of his fifties, Joel Miller was having a fucking panic attack. Again.

“Joel,” the weight of his younger brother’s hand digging into his shoulder with a firm grasp, withdraws him from his dissociative state, lying on his bed.

Tommy was staring down at Joel with a knowing expression. “She’s wakin’ up.” He repeats a second time.

Tommy and the coffee are long forgotten, set aside as Joel rises to his feet, looming over you in heavyset silence of anticipation and exigency.

His hands grasp onto your cheeks, cradling them as he lets out a long exhale of relief, staring into the familiar colour of your irises.

“Baby I thought you’d left me..” he utters shakily between the two of you, thick tears fall from his wet eyes down his face.

He watches as your dry lips part, a hoarse croak rolls off of your tongue in an attempt to speak.

“Don’t say nothin’, save your strength.”

His hands tighten around the small mug, tucking his thumb into the handle instead of four of his fingers, for the reason that his hands were too large to navigate the small curated gap.

Thoughtfully, he’d filled it only halfway with water and left it by your shared bed the previous evening, in the expectation of you regaining consciousness.

“Here,” he murmurs, with his free hand he urges you to tilt your head backwards. “There you go.”

Bringing the rim of his mug to your lips, he slowly tilts it upward until a small amount of water has seeped into your lips, allowing a small relief for the uncomfortably dry surface of your mouth.

The second time he encourages a little more, brushing the single few strands of hair from your face as you begin to sip on the water with a loud slurp.

When he’s satisfied you’ve had enough, he pulls the mug away and sets it back on the bedside table.

Your lips are tugged upward in a small smirk, the smallest huff of a laugh vibrates through your nose, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Straight back to annoyin’ me huh? Seems like my girl is feelin’ more like herself already.”

The coo sends your heart through an extra murmur, pulse erratically causing the flesh in your neck to pulsate.

“Know.. you..” your voice is strained, and hoarse from lack of water. “Love it.”

A hum reverberated through his throat in agreeance. Placing his hand on top of your own, clasping his fingers in between your own.

“I do love you.”

For a first confession, the words linger heavily in the air between you. An intense gaze is shared before you could process the weight behind them.

“I love.. you.” Taking a wheezing breath, you continue, the attempt to squeeze his fingers albeit weak—conveys the message. “Even if you.. cracked my ribs.”

His golden complexion reinforces a bright pink hue across his cheeks and ears. “Y’heard that, huh? I’m real sorry ‘bout it.”

Blinking lazily, you nod once, waving off his apology. “That an’ everything else.”

Continuing on from a brief pause, you place your second hand on top of his, grounding him, offering him a sense of security and reassurance he didn’t often receive as self appointed protector.

“You saved me.”

The look in your eye expresses deep gratitude and understanding, promising him that you wouldn’t end up like Sarah, that he would never have to endure pain like that ever again.

Not as long as you lived.

“No, baby. You saved me.”

There are many things you’ve saved Joel from, but he leaves them unspoken, because you know, whether or not he’s mentioned it—you know.

“Get some sleep Joel..”

He obeys, sliding under the thick duvet beside you in the bed you shared, unwilling to break the hold of your hands.

#joel miller tlou #joel miller the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel fucking miller #joelmiller #joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller ptsd #joel miller angst #joel miller hurt/comfort #hbo joel miller #Pedro pascal Joel miller

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pimosworld · 6 months ago

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Back in your day

Joel Miller x reader

Summary-Just a little Drabble about teasing Joel about his age. Who can’t resist teasing that old man, especially when he’s been around so long.

CW- Unspecified age gap, Joel is grumpy and sweet( sour patch Joel), reader is a menace, fluff, teasing.

WC-444

[Joel Miller Masterlist]

You just love to push Joel’s buttons.

The way he narrows his eyes at you when he knows you’ve got something smart to say about his age. It used to bother him at first, the stark contrast of things you could relate to. Now that he's grown used to it you won’t waste an opportunity to poke the bear.

“What’s on your mind darlin’?” He’s sitting at your kitchen table reading the newspaper. Perhaps the only person you know who still religiously buys one.

“Oh nothing.” It’s said innocently enough as you wait for him to look up at you. His eyes peek over as he lets out a huff of breath to say get on with it. “I was just wondering what it was like to vote for Roosevelt.”

He flips the paper over in his hand as he looks suspiciously at you. “Roosevelt?” He opens and closes it again as you try to keep your face as neutral as possible. “Roosevelt!? I never…I wasn’t even-“

You can’t help your laughter as you steady yourself on the kitchen chair next to him.

“Oh, you just think you’re a regular fuckin’ comedian don’t ya?” He sets the paper down again and the brown in his eyes have practically disappeared with the way he’s looking at you.

Knowing when to quit was never really your strong suit….and Joel didn’t like quitters anyway.

You slide up behind him and smooth your hands down his shoulders. For such a stubborn brooding man, he really was easy to lure in. He immediately relaxes into your touch as you kiss the side of his face, breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo and aftershave.

“I’m not trying to make fun honey.” He hums as your fingers graze his forearms and revel in the goosebumps left on your wake. “It’s just that you can show me things I never got to experience. Like black and white movies.”

You’re down the hall before he can will his knees and his back to move out the chair. A litany of curses flowing from him as his heavy footsteps echo down the hall to your shared bedroom.

Joel knows it’s all an act.

If it really bothered him when you were being a “pain in his ass.” You’d stop and he’d never hear another word of it. He loves it, you keep him young and you laugh at his jokes. You make him smile until his cheeks hurt and he doesn't think he could love anyone more than he loves you (bratty behavior and all).

And at the end of the day he can teach you a lesson.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller drabble #joel miller fluff #joel miller fan fiction #pedro pascal characters #joel tlou #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #grumpy joel #peepaw joel #joelmiller

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cherry-holmes · 8 months ago

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The last thing you remembered was Joel thrusting deeply inside you, the gentle patter of rain outside his bedroom. The sweat-soaked bed beneath your naked form and tears of pleasure in your eyes as you succumbed to a powerful orgasm.

Then, he was calling your name, his voice laced with concern, his hands delicately holding your cheeks, guiding your head. As you opened your eyes, you met his gaze filled with worry.

"Fuck, thank goodness," he sighed in relief, touching his forehead to yours. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"W-what? What happened?" you stammered, feeling slightly disoriented, the remnants of your climax still lingering, making it difficult to focus.

"You fainted," he whispered, his eyes locked on yours searching for any sign of discomfort.

"I'm so sorry," he murmured, his voice filled with genuine remorse. "I didn't mean to push you that far." He gently pulled the covers over your body, tucking them around you with care.

Did you what? You felt a bit confused of what he was saying, and also embarrassed from the little you get to catch. Did you actually faint making love with your boyfriend?

You shook your head slowly, your cheeks burning from both your climax and the embarrassment, trying to clear the fog in your mind. "It's okay," you managed to say, your voice still shaky from the intensity of the experience.

Joel brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch gentle and reassuring. "I should've been more careful," he admitted.

The warmth of the blankets and the soothing rhythm of his breathing beside you tempting you into a deep, peaceful sleep.

"I'm okay, my love," you reassured him, brushing his forehead and cheek delicately with your fingers. "It was just... incredible," you added, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks.

You shifted slightly, moving closer to Joel's warmth, seeking solace in his embrace. His arm instinctively wrapped around you, drawing you in even closer.

He let out a soft chuckle, his eyes filled with a mixture of tenderness and allure. "I'm glad you enjoyed it," he replied, his voice a gentle whisper in the quiet of the room.

#pedro pascal #fanfic #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller x reader #joel x reader #joel miller smut #joel miller #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joelmiller #the last of us #tlou #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x female reader #joelmiller x f!reader

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saintgoths · 1 year ago

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☾༺♰༻☽ʜᴏᴡ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ꜰɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴍᴇɴ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ʏᴏᴜ☾༺♰༻☽

mdni very 18+ - just nasty sex.

includes simon 'ghost' riley, joel miller, levi ackerman, carlos oliveira and will herondale.

feedback/comments would be appreciated :)

SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY

Like the man he is, he would fuck you in a position that asserts his dominance, a possessive grip that puts you in a firm stance telling you that you’re his and no one can fuck you the way he does, with his hand gripped tightly around your hair while he plows into you, forcing you to roll your eyes towards the back of your skull. “Take it,” he grunts and loud you shamefully moaned, “you pretty girl, all ruined and tight for me,” he moaned.

Proud he feels the way your body trembles under his touch, the width of his cock opening your pretty little cunt while the increased wetness inflates around his shaft. “Atta girl,” he groans as the tip of his cock licks against the skin of your cervix, pushing you into an intense high while your knees steeply dig into the sheets of the bed.

Your moans pathetic as you could feel your body weaken as another strong wave of orgasm pushes through you, your nectar spilling all over his bed and cock as you release a loud cry of pleasure as the thick and hot spews of his lewd semen coat your walls, your sensations ecstatic as he finally lets go of your figure and watches it shamelessly pummel against the bed.

“Y’did so well babydoll,” he muttered ere he dragged himself off the bed.

POSITION REFERENCE

JOEL MILLER

He’s so possessive with the way he fucks his girthy cock into you, beastly you feel the arch of his shaft pull forward inside your tight cunt, his loud, prideful of the erotic noises that purrs out of his mouth, while the tightness of your pussy clenches around him swallowing his large size as he loses himself inside of you.

His arms possessive around your body while the balls of his cock wetly slaps against your ass. “You’re such a good girl,” he drooled and in response you release a shameful whimper answering with degrading and shameful words declaring how you’re all his.

“Daddy, daddy!” You wept, over-stimulated by the brute forces of his large shaft beating and possessively marking the balmy and tepid of your cunt.

“There, there,” he whispered, “so good, such a good girl,” he moaned and the second he felt the thermal wetness of his load fill the tight size of your cunt the softness of his lips pressed against your neck leaving a sweet mark of his love.

POSITION REFERENCE

LEVI ACKERMAN

He loves the way his hand perfectly wraps around your breast as you hungrily bounce on his cock, your back pressed against his chest while the juices of your pussy squelches around his shaft, your cunt compact while the veins of his long manhood stroked the walls of your heat.

You bite your lip while the pad of his fingers twirl around your nipples, your breast plump and delicate, fondled by the adept hands of Levi Ackerman, who had been drunk with eroticism, his eyes dark with stimulation with the face of his cock that pummelled against the soft knob of your cunt, you throw your head back, your mouth drooling with piquancy as you had now been capable to speak.

“C-captain!” You moaned, your cries shameless while the arc of his cock hungrily blow and stroke the soft areas of your pussy, he had been focused, with his member that had softly shook in your tight space, one hand above your pearl that had gently whirled, possessive and hoggish with the way your body rolled against his.

“Just like that,” he whispered, “keep going!” He moaned and in obedience you continued to bounce up and down his length, your eyes wet with desirous tears as your body heaved forwards, numb and intoxicated by the member that had filled your heat paired with the sticky cum that had greedily clung onto your walls, feeling the depth of loneliness the second he pulled his cock out, but now his lip had been pressed against your jaw, tender and supple.

POSITION REFERENCE

CARLOS OLIVERIA

With his big and strong arms, he holds you up while fucking his wide cock up your cunt, his shaft easily slipping and sliding and the tip of his member greedily licking the soft lumps of your pussy while you tightly wrap your arms around his shoulders, securing yourself against him while his fingers grip into your skin, “That’s it princess,” he murmurs into your ear while frantically bucking his hips forward searching and sailing for his climax while your sweet cries fill the room.

Your lips tight and eyes white while the head of his shaft lick the coat of your cervix, eager to spill and fill its juices and give into the animalistic nature to breed. “So good for daddy,” he moaned and desperately you nodded your head, and in bold need for his authoritative approval you obeyed every demand that left his tongue, “Say it, say your my princess,” he commanded and frantic you felt your tongue slip out of your mouth as you hopelessly tried to gather the words he imposed from you.

“I’m—” you cried out and before you could finish your sentence a strong shriek was pulled out from your mouth as you could feel his shaft move deeper inside of you, sending you into a bold crying hysteria, how shameless you looked, disoriented and a mess due to his touch. “I’m your princess!” You chanted while you could feel your orgasm explode and spill against the cold floors of your room; and sapped you had fully leaned against Carlos, your arms still hung around him, wasted.

“You feel that?” Carlos hummed as he slowly pulsed in you and weakly you nodded as you had recognised the soft sensation of his fluid filling your wet cunt. “Good girl,” he then kissed your cheek before he rested you against the bed.

POSITION REFERENCE

WILL HERONDALE

He holds onto you so fucking tight, craving and selfish with the way his fingers dig into your skin, so snug, he thought, so supple your cunt had felt around him, how well you had taken his size and how you were just for him, only his, restricted to be shared, he had hated the idea of you being somebody else’s, glad, that the pliable and wetness of your vagina was his to claim and he swore that nothing would take you away from him.

“My love,” he moaned, his hand cupped beneath your knees as your body had bounced against his, your walls had clenched around him, taut and firm and so soothing and narcotic like he was some ill-man, and the feeling of your opiate cunt being the only thing that could cure him, he loved it, and could care less that he moved like a starved man.

Beastly while the nectar from the previous orgasms had melted and thawed with each other and the cloying cries of your over-stimulated moans had been a glacé music to him, he could feel another round of his orgasm build up and with the way you had whimpered to his touch, and with the way your body had twitched under his grope, another ecstatic rush wanted to overcome your petite figure.

“Fuck!” You loudly cried out feeling the face of his cock slickly brush and speck against your spot and once more, your eyes rolled backwards uncaring if anyone in the institute could hear your lewd cries, prideful that you had been ravished by Will Herondale, having his shaft stroke and tinge every good nerve in your pussy while he whispered sweet and amorous words in your ears, talking you into another amative and carnal climax.

POSITION REFERENCE

♆

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koshkamartell · 3 months ago

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summary: DDDNE one shot AU. No outbreak. You had a mind blowing encounter with Joel one night after meeting at a club. When you evade him, he decides to track you down and teach you a lesson.

warnings: noncon PIV, stalker!Joel, perverted!Joel, slut shaming, unspecified age gap.

notes: please interact and leave comments if you enjoy my work. It really does encourage me to keep writing.

Joel wasn't going to let you get away this time. He was going to make sure you couldn't up and run like you did the first time - that night two weeks ago, when you had taunted him and tantalised him and even let him taste you, for fucks sake, just to have you disappear into thin air. You had robbed him of pleasure that was rightfully his to take. Tonight, he was going to prove a point.

Joel was going to make you his bitch.

He parks his truck across the street from your apartment and turns off the engine. Your street is shroud in shadows, the dull street lamps doing little to illuminate the area - he doesn't need to worry too much about keeping concealed.

He taps the back of his knuckles on the steering wheel, his eyes vigilantly surveying up and down the sidewalk. He would wait as long as he had to for you to eventually traipse home from a long night out of doing whatever the fuck you and your whore friends do on a Saturday night. He was a patient man. Persistent.

You show up sometime after 2 am. When the taxi pulls up outside your apartment and Joel sees you emerge from the backseat, his hands grip tightly around the steering wheel and he sucks in a sharp breath of air. There you are, finally.

His eyes stay trained on you, transfixed like a predator stalking it's prey. The taxi drives away and you are left alone to totter unsteadily in your highheels up the pathway to your shitty little apartment. He wonders how drunk you are. Your dress is so short that he can almost see your asscheeks. Typical fuckin' slut. His cock thickens in his jeans as he watches you rifle around in your handbag for your housekeys, totally oblivious.

Joel gets out of his truck and swiftly stalks over to you on his long legs, his movements agile and panther like. You don't hear him approach you, too busy concentrating on pushing the key into the lock. Just as you turn the door knob and open the front door Joel clamps his large hand over your mouth and wraps his other arm around your waist. Before you can instinctively scream and fight back he manhandles you into the apartment and slams the door shut behind him with a kick of his boot.

Your keys and handbag fall to the floor. Your body wriggles futilely in his grip as Joel drags you down the hallway to your bedroom, where a lamps brightens the otherwise dark apartment - smart girl, you never know who could be hiding in the shadows. Your hands scratch desperately at his forearms and you squeal into the calloused palm of his hand, your chest heaving as you try to suck in air through your nose. Your back is pressed against his broad chest, his clothed erection jabbing into your ass.

"Quiet," Joel growls. He digs his fingers into the flesh of your cheek and gives your head a shake. "Don't make a fuckin' sound or I'll make you regret it, you hear me?"

You are sobbing in fear now, your body shaking and shuddering. He can feel your heart pounding in your chest. You're so fucking scared - good, you should be, you deserve to feel like this after the shit you pulled last time.

"Nod your head," Joel whispers in the shell of your ear. "Show me you understand."

You nod your head quickly to demonstrate your compliance. He slowly removes his hand from your mouth, your breath hot and shaky as you gasp in a lungful of air. He keeps his arm wrapped securely around your waist, pinning you to his front.

"You remember me, don't you?" He murmers into your ear. His hand trails down to your neck and comes to rest lightly on one of your breasts. "I'm the man who ate that slutty little pussy and gave you the best orgasm of your life."

Your breath hitches briefly, your body stilling momentarily. Yes, you remembered.

How could you not? The chemistry between you that night had been insane, the flirting more thrilling than anything Joel had experienced in a long while. And when Joel had cornered you in a secluded corner of the bar rooftop garden and gone down on you, it was clear that your body had wanted him just as much as he wanted you; your juice gushed in his mouth as you came, barely able to stifle your squeals with your fingers tightly threaded through his salt and pepper curls.

"Ain't gonna run from me now, are ya?" Joel purrs. You shake your head, seemingly too frightened to speak. "Good girl."

He buries his nose in your hair and inhales the sweet scent of your perfume. You smell so fucking good, just as he remembered.

His hand squeezes your breast and kneads it, groaning at the feeling of your soft flesh in his grip. He ruts his hard cock against you, the friction from his jeans causing it to throb and leak.

He needs to feel you. Now.

Joel slides his other hand over your belly and dips it down underneath your dress and inbetween your thighs. The pads of his fingers caress the top of your mound before moving to press on your clit. He feels the scant crotch of your panties sticking to the warmth of your core. You're probably wet, too.

He rubs circles over your clit and you squeal and try to shut your legs to push him away, prompting him to deliver a harsh smack over your pussy. You jolt forward and whine loudly.

"Nuh-huh," Joel tuts. "You're mine tonight, baby. I'll do whatever I want with ya."

He presses his fingers back onto your clit possessively and resumes massaging it in tight swirls. Your thighs tremble and you gasp and mewl, overcome with conflicted pleasure.

Joel smirks to himself - he knew you'd be unable to resist. His other hand continues groping your breast, his thumb swiping back and forth over your hardening nipple.

"Oh my god," you half whisper, half sob. Joel chuckles and grinds his hips against your ass, using his firm grasp on your body to pull you back into his crotch.

"Yeah, honey," he cooes into your ear. "Knew you'd want this, can't help how desperate your little pussy is, huh?"

It would be easy for Joel to get lost in the moment, to drop to his knees and worship your body until you come undone, screaming and moaning his name. He's naturally a giver. He would love to make you cum again - on his tongue, with his fingers, with his cock.

But he has to stop to remind himself why he's here. He needs to remember that tonight isn't about your pleasure. It's about his. It's his fucking turn now.

Without warning Joel abruptly seizes the band of your thong and tears it apart, then flips you around and shoves you forcefully onto the bed. You squeal when your back thuds against the mattress. Within a couple of seconds he's kneeling inbetween your legs and briskly unbuckling his belt, his dark brown eyes looking possessed as he stares at you with intense carnal hunger.

"Thought you could run away," Joel grunts. He hurriedly unzips his jeans and wrangles his thick cock out from his underwear. "Leave me high and dry, like a goddamn asshole, huh?"

He feels a smug sense of pride when he clocks the way your eyes widen in panic at the size of his dick. You shake your head frantically and cover your the area between your thighs with your hands, desperately trying to protect yourself from the inevitable destruction Joel is intent on unleashing upon you.

"N-no, I s-swear," you babble pathetically.

Joel huffs a mirthless laugh. "Thought I'd be like all them other losers at the bar, didn't ya? Let ya play those little tricks to get what you want, then fuck off?"

He grabs both of your wrists in one of his paws and wrenches them above your head. He spreads his knees wide between your thighs and peers down at your sweet pussy. The mere sight of your puffy lips and glistening hole makes his cock weep with precum.

You're all Joel has been dreaming and fantasising about for the past week; it had been impossible for him to focus on work when his brain was constantly envisioning your bewitching body and angelic face, the taste of your juicy goddamn pussy on his tongue.

And now here you were in the flesh, the luscious object of his degenerate desires, trapped right underneath him.

Joel strokes the small tuft of hair on your mound before using his forefinger and middle to spread open your pussy lips. His tongue darts out to lick his bottom lip. He knows he should finger you first and make you cum atleast once before he fucks you with his cock; he knows he's big and that it'll hurt you, especially if you're unprepared. But fuck it, it's your punishment for being a teasing whore. He'll make it fit, whether you're ready or not.

Joel grips his cock and gives it a few pumps before shuffling a little closer to your crotch. He angles the blunt head against your slit and slowly begins to push inside you. You quiver and sob below him, fresh tears leaking from your eyes as you beg him to stop. He's only just inched the tip of himself inside your tight heat when you snap and begin to fight.

"No! Fuck off!" You scream and writhe, trying in vain to kick at him with your heeled shoes and wriggle away. Joel let's go of your wrists but quickly collapses ontop of you, the weight of his much larger body instantly restraining you. He hurriedly slaps his hand over your mouth to silence you.

"None'a that, now," he hisses, his nose nuzzling against your cheek. He propels his hips to further push into your cunt, earning a stifled shreik from you. "You're gonna take this fuckin' dick, right here and right now."

You dig your nails into the flannel of his shirt as he rocks his hips back and forth slowly, gradually feeding more and more of his length. You are crying and struggling to breathe through your nose underneath his palm but he doesn't care. He continues the shallow sawing motion for a minute, only allowing half his cock to enter you, mercifully granting your walls a short time to adjust. His hand comes up to stroke over your hair soothingly.

"You're tight, baby. Relax, let me in."

Joel gives one final stuttering push and buries himself all the way to the hilt, his heavy balls pressing against your ass. He lets out a rumbling moan, luxuriating in how your walls contract around him while you struggle to accomodate the entirety of his thick length. Your body wracks with shudders and your thighs quake against the solid flanks of his body, your muscles no doubt straining from the weight of him slotted between your legs.

Joel withdraws his hips until his cock pulls almost completely out of you, momentarily granting you reprieve, only to suddenly slam back inside. You choke out a scream as your eyes roll back into your head. He repeats the motion again and again, over and over, parting your insides and carving a space so deep that you swear you feel him in the pit of your stomach.

His deviant hunger is growing more fervent with every second, his wicked desire to claim you burning to a fever pitch. He had wanted to go slow, to savour the experience, but his conviction is rapidly dissipating.

Joel's movements soon escalate into a rhythmic assault, his cock plunging into your pussy with brutal, deepseated strokes. He presses his nose against your cheek.

"Feel so good, baby," he moans between panting breaths, "knew this pussy would feel like fuckin' heaven."

He maintains the savage pace of his hips crashing against yours for several minutes, reveling in the euphoric pleasure your body grants him. How dare you deny him such bliss, leaving him wounded and unfulfilled and fucking pissed off. Why hadn't you just given him a chance? Was he too old? Was it all just a funny game to you?

A firey flame of indignation and rage rips through his ribcage and guts, urging him to punish you. He wants to ruin you, to show you just how utterly he can break you.

Joel smushes his palm harder against your mouth as he fucks his cock in and out of your abused hole; you wail with every thrust but it comes out as nothing more than a muffled whine.

"Yeah, you feel that?" Joel growls into your ear. "Feel that cock rippin' you apart, ya bitch? Can't run from me now, can ya?"

He pounds into you with fervour, panting and grunting with animalistic voracity, drowning out the noises of your stifled sobs. The bed squeaks against the bedroom wall from the momentum of Joel's unrelenting barrage. He's so lost in his own depravity that he doesn't realise just how quickly his orgasm has approached.

"Gonna cum in this slutty pussy," Joel groans, delirious from the intense pleasure of your cunt squeezing around his dick. "Fill you up til you're fuckin' burstin'. Won't ever forget me now."

Your body goes lax underneath Joel's weight as he jack hammers into you, chasing his climax. Less than ten seconds later he's coming undone, his orgasm reaching its peak. The pace of his hips falter and warm ropes of his cum paint the insides of your tortured body. He pants wildly, nose crushed against the side of your face, his face damp from your tears and the sweat of his exertion. He removes his hand from your mouth and strokes your cheek with his thumb, unbothered by the deep inhale and subsequent weep you cough out from your throat.

Joel stays like that ontop of you for some time, catching his breath and coming down from his high. When the cloud dissipates from his mind and his cock begins to soften inside your walls, he presses a chaste kiss to your temple and carefully pulls out.

He stands up from the bed and groans, his body now worn and weary. You remain exactly where you are, staring up at the ceiling with your body trembling.

Joel hitches his underwear and jeans up and glances up at you as he buckles his belt. He smirks at the sight of your parted legs and ruined cunt, the trickle of cum leaking out and staining your bed sheets.

"Learned your lesson now, didn't you, baby?" He sneers smugly. "Gonna stop and think before teasin' an old man like me ever again, ain't that right?"

All you do is sob and roll over onto your side, facing away from Joel. He chuckles to himself and shakes his head, as if the whole scenario were a joke. "Don't got to worry too much anyway, honey. Ain't no man is gonna want that sloppy pussy now."

He crouches down and picks up the torn scrap of your underwear and shoves it into the pocket of his jeans. "You stay safe now, sweetheart."

Joel doesn't bother to give you one last look before he swaggers out of your bedroom, his ego satisfied and satiated, leaving you alone to wallow in the shattered remains of your soul.

credit to @saradika-graphics for the border used.

#joel miller x reader #joel miller #joel miller dark #dark! joel miller #joel miller dark fic #dark! joel miller x reader #joelmiller #dddne

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missmarveledsblog · 4 months ago

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ITS A START part one

summary : when joel is settling into life in jackson there's one thing that has his attention , a woman of the name Y/N . The loner who barely spoke to anyone other than his brother til joel and y/n are sent to find supplies he soon finds out the reason why the girls quiet as he tries to break down the walls she built so long .

warnings: mentions of death of family and children ( readers brother and joel's daughter) , animals being eating since its the apocalypse , pain and sadness but some happy tones in there too . Mention of domestic violence too so

Coming to jackson was never meant to be anything but temporary of course everything changes nothing is set in stone in a world that fell to pieces one day . it wasn't suppose to be long and yet it dawning on two years since ellie and he arrived in jackson . it had what he needed the rest be dammed , his brother was here , ellie had stability something that the girl never had before , it was like everything in the damned town amazed her but then again most of the kids or young folk were amazed at things from the past if it seemed new. It seemed like jackson had it all , community , security and god damn it was he too old to be kept on the damn road yeah jackson was the end stop to plant roots and live it out til the day he took his last breath .

what joel didn't expect jackson to have was Y/N . She arrived a little before joel and ellie , she kept to herself most times hell knows what the woman had seen or had to do but he knew it wasn't pretty , he knew that look one of a person forced to do the unthinkable just to keep going. She kept quiet maybe she was still not trusting of it all he couldn't blame her hell he had his reservations. He watched her eyes observing everything around her waiting for it to go bad at some stage and little by little she relaxed yet still kept herself to herself and it wasn't for lack of trying hell every single man in town had tried to chance their arm with the woman which he couldn't blame them she was a pretty one he couldn't deny it. But she was too closed off only ones that could get her to talk was tommy and maria and even at that it was short and to the point.

He was surprise one morning to find her and tommy standing on his doorstep , confusion didn't last long when tommy explain she would be joining joel as he went on a scavenge hunt looking for things the towns folk were low of .

" you know how use a gun and knife" he asked expecting the usual nod or shake of her head when people talked to her.

" yes sir" he was surprise to hear how soft her voice was , how sweet the tone it help in those two words.

" well i'll meet you in the stables in twenty minutes don't keep me waiting" he said wondering would she speak but it went back to the gestures of answers . " go get ready i'll see you then" he said before heading into his house nearly running into ellie on his way .

" i guess i'm staying with tommy and maria huh" she asked.

" Yeah, so keep the language to a minimum. we don't need that baby coming out swearing like a sailor," he teased, shooting her a little smile . " work a miracle and get the pretty one to crack her shell because that will be day i stop fucking swearing old man" she snorted heading into the kitchen ready to tease the old man make sure get some extra shots for the road too . he never took it to heart it was just here being a teenager, which was all he wanted for her now . Packing the small bag of things he would need he dropped ellie off at his brothers before heading to the stable not seeing her outside , he headed in thinking he'd get the horses ready so they could just go but what he didn't expect was the quiet woman had same idea both horses ready and the ones he would of choose at first.

" Ready," he asked .

" yes sir" she said again bit louder.

" call me joel," he simple said as they took off heading to a town not so far away maybe a day trip so it wasn't too much for the woman's first outing .

" we'll ride for couple of hours there's a cabin couple hours away stop for the night check around for some deer or something then hit the town first thing in morning" he explained.

" why not get the deer on way back meat would be fresher" she asked .

" or we could do that" he chuckled shaking his head.

" is it a list sort of thing or grab whatever available sort of thing" she asked again that damn voice calling him like a siren to a sea , how the hell could something as simple as a voice effect him so much maybe he been out of the game to long yeah that was it .

" grab whatever is well not broken beyond compare but the likes of medical supplies shit like that is always needed" he said taking the lead as the two looked for the nearest town or maybe the next one to that .

It was still daylight thankfully when they arrived in the town , it was completely void of anything that would be considered life . seemed a complete ghost town not even an infected about although it was never completely ruled out. They tied up the horse before setting off he notice her movement got more quiet but yet still efficient like this part she was born for and maybe she was granted she was probably twenty years younger then him . she probably was only a baby when this whole world went to shit which was sad kids now and young adult such as the one at his side never knowing what it was like before all the infected business like what it was like to go out with friends to the mall or movies or nightlife of dancing at clubs and bars it was simple things but they were missed by alot of the older folk . each house had barely anything few clothes that could be fixed up for the younger folk. One house they came to she took the upper level while he checked out the lower floor. He'd have to give it to her she move silently but when he was searching through a kitchen he noticed it was too quiet something that about that sent him into gear almost taking the steps two at a time.

Only to stop seeing her standing holding a blanket in her hands looking completely broken til she noticed him instantly that wall came up and she was almost emotionless again shoving the blanket into her bag and continuing the search pretend he didn't catch her in a moment of weakness , maybe it reminded her of life at some point but he wasn't going to push not now anyway instead silently he came to her side and looked with her , no words exchanged as the two set about there business.

The haul was surprisingly good they found shit ton of things that the town folk would appreciate even a couple of good sewing kits although she kept one and he was keeping the other not that he knew how to sew but couldn't be that hard . last house was all the needed to check and then it was it he took the top floor as she took the lower both taking turns even though it wasn't planned it worked well . what he didn't expect was as he searched the bathroom , a small smile on his face as he found a first aid kit fully stocked it was like finding gold as he added it to the bag . then he heard it that noise everyone dreaded when he looked up seeing the infecteds reflection in the small broken mirror . he went to turned as it dove at him , he felt like it was the end knowing this was it , this was going to be the last breath he drew but even in that sentiment he was going to go down fighting kicking and scratching if needed. He was ready to give it all he got only for a knife to be drove into the sweet spot instantly killing the fungus riddled bastard as it fell she stood calm as a peach pulling the knife out of the skull and wiping it clean on ratted up shower curtain .

" you good" she asked slight pant to her voice.

" yeah i'm good lets go before more come" he said only to earn a nod of agreement pulling the bags they walked quietly but fast towards the unharmed animals and setting off to the cabin needing some form of rest. He almost died nearly let an infected take him, and yet he was still standing all because the silent beauty was there . they barely spoke, scoping the place out wasn't only the infected you needed to be wary of, but the coast was clear , the area was empty bar some deer prints they could check out in the morning. Like it was second nature, she checked around the cabin before setting her things do, n grabbing some wood for the fire and grabbing some food they found . he barely registered his own voice as the words came from his mouth .

" thanks back there woulda been goner if it ain't been for you" he said almost gruff whisper.

" you woulda done same fer me" she shrugged.

" still a girl in jackson would be grateful" he couldn't help smile as he said it.

" well i'm glad i could save her daddy nothing worse losing family" she said so sadly .

" she not my daughter i'm just looking out for her , she alone needs some guidance is all" he explained.

" ellie right , nah that's your daughter you look at her like she is doesn't take blood to be family as much as people might think" she shook her head and he could of sworn he'd seen her mouth twitch up maybe for a second but he saw it.

" good she has you , worlds shit enough without trying to navigate it alone that's for sure" she added.

" you know i think this most i've heard you speak hell i think today is first time i've heard your voice" he chuckled .

" i guess being alone for so long you forget how to talk sometimes" she nodded.

" well you should get to know the folk of jackson, there good people and won't be so lonely" .

" lonely don't get you hurt" she said easily.

" the blanket earlier remind you of someone" he asked seeing it peak out of her bag.

" my little brother , he was four when he died , happiest little boy just full of life could make you forget the shit going on in the word , raiders came to my families camp wanted everything we had , my daddy gave it to them then they wanted me well my daddy shot the man that grabbed me quicker that you could draw a breath it all happened so fast bullets fly , lucas got scared went to run to my mama and she ran to him telling him get down then they were both down not moving , the only thing that made the world seem like it was ok was gone my daddy lost it seeing them like that he began shooting hitting them all only as he went to check on my mama, one wasn't as dead as he thought shot him i didn't even think i just picked that gun up and shot then i was alone all my world was gone in an instant maybe if i went with them he'd be alive now" said softly her voice cracking ever so slightly as her hand felt the material . " i've been alone ever since twenty plus years of living on this planet and i ain't never wanna feel that kind of pain again" she not daring to look up at the man .

" you must of been young yourself men like that are animals could of done all sorts" joel tried to reason yet he was more shocked she opened up. " i was fourteen i could of handled , then I thought I was safe , he made me feel safe but like most it was a trap , called his wife , you believe that way he treated me wasn't how man should treat his wife , my daddy showed me how from way he loved my mama been alone ever since " she said finally looking up . " well now you ain't got to , look i know what ever you had to do wasn't pretty i know that more than anyone i lost family but i also got family and wise person told me it don't take blood to make one" he winked .

" well they weren't my blood my real folks died and they took me in ,they were my family" she sniffled hating she was letting herself be so vulnerable how the hell was this man able to crack the what she though was indestructible walls so easily .

" come ere" he said softly watching her fighting on whether or not to take that step let herself to let someone in or not and yet she did she was tired of being the one that picked herself up even if it was just that night well she was going to let someone in. she slowly crawled into his arms letting it all out ten years of emotions spilled out of her the moment his arms wrapped around her. She must of cried herself to sleep because she woke during the night seeing herself still in joel's arms the man as rubbing her head and telling her

" i got ya " , " let it out". Letting the man sleep she pulled out of his arms letting the man rest as she sat in the stool near the door watching out for any sign of a threat that could be lurking in the darkness .

That was exactly how he found her eyes watching at the sun began to rise . " why didn't ya wake me" he said voice lace with sleep as he stretched his aching muscle out.

" ain't nothing i can sleep when i get back , you looked deep in sleep plus that snoring had to make sure you didn't lure the infected here" she said heading off to the back where the back room was could of sworn there was a playful lilt to her voice .

shaking his head he grabbed his water bottle and small pot to began making much needed breakfast a little proud of getting her to open up and from how hard she was crying it was like she needed it . When she walked out she seemed less tense , less tightly wound up like before .

" breakfast then we hunt that deer" he said nodding for her to take a seat.

" i brought coffee" she said pulling the small bag of it out of her bag.

" the most important thing in the morning" he joked and she actually laughed it was low but he heard it.

" you think that deer is still around" she asked seemly wanting to try the whole talking thing more .

" he's a round some where close if not sure rabbits and stuff are around" he said pulling two cups from his bag .

" whats the worse animal you've eaten" she asked getting set on her task.

" hmm id say cat" he winced remember it wasn't a great moment .

" i'd say rat"she chuckled again bit loud be if it wasn't the sounds of an angel he wasn't sure what was.

" rat ain't bad not much to em" he said.

" my daddy said he ate a hamster before said it worst thing he's ever eat although bless the man couldn't cook for shit" she shook her head smiling .

" how long where you with them" .

" oh since a baby , my birth mama was dying and she asked them take me , they could of said yes and just left me but they didn't , raised me as i was there own same with lucas was like the same thing all that history repeating itself sort of thing they didn't even think twice and took him" she said voice cracking .

" i know what it's like to lose family , i lost my daughter sarah , died in my arms just as the world was falling , it never leaves you and i did what you done i never let myself get close but that ain't living either hell she'd give me hell for doing it" he said his own voice wavering but if she could bare that part of herself well he could do the same.

" i'm guessing ellie didn't give you much choice did she" she asked smiling more that was his new favourite thing about it all was her smile .

" no she didn't , got mouth of her too i mean she would put a sailor to shame" . " come on lets eat and get that deer i doubt there's hamster about" he joked as he began plating up the food as the two made small talk learning little things about each other , joel would tell her about life before infected and she would tell him places she'd been seemly all over the continent the sad part was she was alone through it all dealing with things no one should at such a young age with the hands of a monster .

They followed the tracks , again quiet as she walked both hiding behind a tree , the deer indeed had not strayed too far . he held up his rifle ready to shot until the deer headed off running and they heard them coming . least three voices getting louder and louder as the hide out of view .

she was pale , he could see fear in her eyes she though it was history repeating itself , god she was idiot for letting him get close and now it was going to be all over. They spotted them coming closer she went to move towards joel only for a hand to pull her away.

" well look what we have here" the man snickered looked down her frame hungrily .

" let her go and be on your way" he almost growled the other two held out their knife .

" or we take her and not kill you" the man pulled her harder to his chest smelling her hair making her body cringe.

" joel" she said softly telling him what she wanted to tell her father all those years ago he could see it in her eyes . " can take care of yourself" he said almost telling her to look past that fear and thankfully she did pulling the blade from her belt and holding it to the man's crown jewel.

" i wouldn't move if i was you i got ammo and she got him by the balls" he said holding the rifle up at the men.

" how about you turn your asses around and go back where you came" she said pushed the tip hard as if pierced through his jeans yet didn't touch anything.

" KEEP YOUR CRAZY BITCH" The man gulped pushing her forward out of his grasp only for her to pull the pistol from joel's belt.

"Says the scum that sniffling my hair drop your weapons and fuck off" she yelled.

" aint gonna use that princess" which was perfect timing for her to spot something fussy as she took the shot sending the men running .

" i got dinner" was all she said walking and picking up the now dead rabbit.

" you were going to let them take you" he growled.

" i would of gotten away" she said .

" well you ain't alone anymore so i ain't leaving if trouble come you got me .. im your friend " he said heading back in the direction of the cabin .

" they would of attacked you" she said getting annoyed.

" i got a gun" he said. But she stayed silent holding out his gun for him to take it back slight guilty seeing he was hurt she was gonna let them take her but she didn't want the first friend she's had to get hurt because of her.

" truce i don't have the social awareness to deal with an argument" she asked being honest but it did make him laugh.

" enough to crack joke next time no being alone no more , you got me now" he said taking the gun.

" do i have a choice" she asked trying to not smile .

"no come on that gun shot might attract infected" he nodded as two headed back to the cabin packing up their things and heading back.

Tommy opened the gate as they headed in following the two to the stables ready to help with the suppile .

" what you get" he asked as they tied up the horses she handed over the bag of thing as well as the rabbit that was still dripping of blood.

" wait here" joel took the blanket out and handed it to her clean hand .

" really" she asked .

" really take it , she good out there saved my ass a couple of times" he said turning to tommy . " doesn't shut up talking though" he added .

" says the one what is it with you millers and talking so much i swear y'all could talk for texas" she called over her shoulder as tommy's jaw dropped in shock .

" i'll be damn she's cracking joke i think that loudest i've heard her voice what hell you do out there" he turned to his brother.

" didn't give her choice i mean she aint gonna be social butterfly with but it's a start" he chuckled heading out to his own house leaving his brother stunned completely at the even thought little but major interaction from the towns two most social awkward people .

" it a start" the younger miller chuckled to himself wondering where this was heading but boy was he excited to see it unfold because it a start of something .

Part two

#tlou joel #the last of us joel #joelmiller #joel tlou #joel miller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #tommy miller #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #maria miller #pedro pascal characters #the last of us fic

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yourmomsawh0r3 · 3 months ago

Text

Fight for me 🍒

pairing: Joel miller x f! reader

warning : NSFW, 18+

summary: After Y/N confronts Joel about her unresolved feelings and receives a crushing rejection, she goes on patrol for weeks leaving Joel to grapple with his guilt and a looming realization that he might lose her forever.

It had been a long day in Jackson, and as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the town square in a soft orange glow, Y/N stood waiting. She had finally worked up the courage to confront Joel really confront him. They’d been dancing around their feelings for weeks, their stolen glances and the subtle touches that lingered longer than necessary. But Y/N was tired of the waiting, the mixed signals. She needed to know where they stood, even if it meant risking her heart.

Joel approached her cautiously, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his worn jacket. He looked tired, the weight of the world always seemed to rest on his broad shoulders, and today was no different. His brow furrowed slightly when he saw her, his gaze scanning her face as though he already knew what this conversation would be about.

“Y/N,” he greeted her quietly, but she didn’t waste time with pleasantries. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her pulse quickening as she took a step closer to him.

“I need to talk to you, Joel,” she said, her voice firm but soft, vulnerability shining in her eyes.

Joel swallowed hard, already sensing the tension in the air. “I know. I reckon I do too.”

There was a beat of silence between them, the distant sounds of the town fading into the background as the moment grew heavier. Y/N gathered her courage, her hands clenching into fists at her sides to keep from shaking.

“I have feelings for you,” she finally blurted out, her voice trembling slightly but steady enough to get the words out. She watched Joel’s face as her confession sank in, but he didn’t look surprised. His expression didn’t change much at all.

“I care about you, Joel,” she continued, taking a small step toward him. “More than I should. More than I’ve wanted to admit for a long time.”

Joel’s eyes flickered with something regret, sadness, fear but he remained still, like a stone. He didn’t speak, so she kept going, desperate for some kind of response.

“And I know you feel something too. I know you, Joel. I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not watching, the way you always pull away before we can get too close.” Her voice wavered, but she held herself together. “But I can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t mean anything. Not anymore.”

There was a long, suffocating pause before Joel finally spoke, his voice low and gruff. “You can’t have feelings for me, Y/N.”

His words hit her like a punch to the gut. She had braced herself for rejection, but hearing it out loud still cut deep.

“Why?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Why can’t I?”

Joel’s jaw tightened, his eyes dropping to the ground as he tried to find the words. His fists were clenched in his pockets, his whole body tense with the effort of holding back what he really wanted to say.

“Because I ain’t good for you,” he muttered, his voice rough with the weight of years of guilt and loss. “You deserve better than what I got to give.”

Y/N’s heart twisted painfully in her chest, but she refused to back down. “You don’t get to decide that for me, Joel.”

His eyes shot up to meet hers, dark and conflicted. “Yes, I do. I can’t, I can’t do this.”

“Why not?” she pressed, her frustration bubbling to the surface. “Why won’t you let yourself feel something? Why won’t you fight for me?”

Joel took a step back, shaking his head. “Because I can’t, Y/N. You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand!” she pleaded, stepping closer to him. “Tell me why you keep pushing me away when I know you feel the same!”

His eyes glistened with something unreadable as he stared at her, and for a moment, Y/N thought he might actually break, that he might finally open up and tell her the truth.

But instead, Joel’s face hardened, and he took another step back, his hands trembling as he pulled them from his pockets. “I’m broken, Y/N. I’m not the man you think I am. I’ve lost too much. I can’t lose again.”

His words stung, the rawness in his voice slicing through her, but Y/N wasn’t giving up not yet. “You don’t have to lose anything. I’m right here, Joel. All I’m asking is for you to take a chance. Just… fight for me.”

Joel’s face twisted with pain, and for a fleeting second, she saw the cracks in his armor, saw how badly he wanted to take her hand, pull her close, and never let her go. But then, like a switch, the walls came back up, and his expression turned cold.

“I can’t,” he whispered, the finality in his voice breaking her heart. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat, her vision blurring with unshed tears as she watched him turn his back on her, walking away without looking back. He left her standing there, alone in the center of the town square, her chest aching as she watched him disappear into the crowd.

She had laid her heart bare, and he had walked away.

Days passed after that moment. Joel avoided her, throwing himself into work, doing everything he could to keep his mind off the mess he’d made. But the gnawing guilt, the anger at himself, wouldn’t go away. He’d see her around town talking to people, carrying supplies and each time, the knot in his stomach tightened. He had been so stupid. She was everything, and he’d pushed her away, too scared to even try.

Joel was a man who built walls high enough to keep anyone from getting too close, and lately, he'd found himself battling his emotions more than ever. For weeks, Joel had been caught in a constant struggle with himself, feelings of guilt and shame pulling him in opposite directions as his attraction toward Y/N grew stronger.

She was everything he hadn’t allowed himself to want in a long time kind, sharp-witted, and brave. She brought light to the dark corners of Jackson, a beacon in a place where hope was scarce. Joel had spent countless nights alone, staring at the ceiling in his small cabin, wrestling with his thoughts, questioning whether he deserved to feel something for her. Sarah, the loss, the years spent surviving rather than living it all weighed heavy on his soul. How could he possibly think about moving forward? How could he let someone in again?

His frustrations with himself only made things worse. He’d been distant, cold, pushing Y/N away every time she tried to get closer. It wasn’t fair to her. But Joel was too damn scared to let himself care. It was easier to stay in his misery than risk feeling that pain again.

“Joel, you can’t keep doing this,” Tommy had told him more than once, his brother sensing the turmoil simmering beneath the surface. But Joel always brushed him off, muttering excuses about keeping things professional or how he didn’t need more complications in his life. Yet, no matter how much distance he put between them, he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting to Y/N.

Then today, it was worse. Y/N had gone out on patrol.

Jackson’s patrols were routine by now, but they weren’t without their risks. Joel usually joined them, but this time he’d opted out, knowing she’d be out there. He thought it would help to put some distance between them, maybe clear his head. Instead, it only made the gnawing ache in his chest worse. The hours dragged on, each passing minute fueling his restless energy. Joel couldn’t sit still. He was on edge, pacing his cabin, berating himself for how he’d treated her. All he could think about was her smile, how she used to lean against his shoulder after a long day. How he’d shrugged her off the last time she tried to talk to him.

“Damn it, Joel. What the hell is wrong with you?”

His mind raced with the guilt of pushing her away. Y/N was out there, doing her job, and all he could think about was how he’d been too much of a coward to let her in. He grabbed his jacket, ran his hands through his hair, then stopped in his tracks. She deserved better than what he had to offer. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

But a sudden, gut-wrenching feeling pulled at him a fear he couldn’t shake. Something wasn’t right.

His boots thudded against the wooden floor as he headed for the door, an anxious knot tightening in his chest. He made his way toward the gates of Jackson, as if his feet had taken over, instinct pulling him there without thought. His hands were shaking, and he shoved them into his pockets to hide it. “She’s fine. She’ll be fine.”

But the moment he saw the group returning through the gates, the world around him seemed to stop. He spotted her instantly, Y/N walking, limping slightly, with blood streaking down her arm and a nasty cut along her forehead. His heart lurched into his throat.

“Y/N!” Joel’s voice cracked as he pushed his way through the crowd, ignoring the questioning stares. Panic surged through him as he reached her, his eyes wild with concern.

Y/N’s gaze met his, her eyes tired but still as strong as ever. “Joel—”

He didn’t give her a chance to finish. “What the hell happened? Are you okay?” His voice was thick with worry, his hands already hovering over her injuries, unsure of where to start. He could see the blood seeping through her clothes, her shirt torn and stained. “Jesus, you’re bleeding.”

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” she tried to assure him, but Joel’s jaw tightened.

His hands, rough and calloused, gently cupped her face as his eyes frantically scanned over her wounds. She winced slightly at the touch, but her lips twitched into a small, reassuring smile.

“Joel, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not fine,” he snapped, his voice low and strained, filled with guilt. “I shouldn’t have let you go out there. I—”

“It’s my job,” Y/N interrupted softly, her hand reaching up to grip his wrist. “I’m okay, really.”

But Joel wasn’t hearing it. The panic, the fear that had consumed him the moment he saw her hurt, was too much. His chest felt tight, and the world around him blurred. He had pushed her away for weeks, told himself it was for the best, and now seeing her like this, it was like a punch to the gut. “He had fucked it up.” He couldn’t lose her, not after everything.

“Don’t..don’t do that,” he muttered, shaking his head as he pulled her closer. “Don’t pretend like this is nothing. It ain’t nothing to me.”

His confession hung in the air, heavy with emotion. Y/N blinked, her brows furrowing as she searched his face.

“Joel, what are you?”

“I’ve been a damn fool,” he admitted, his voice rough and broken. “I’ve been pushing you away, and I don’t even know why anymore. I thought I couldn’t thought I wasn’t allowed to feel this way again. But I can’t lose you, Y/N. I can’t.”

Her breath hitched at his words, the raw vulnerability in his voice catching her off guard. She had always known there was something more beneath his gruff exterior, but hearing it like this… she hadn’t expected it.

“You won’t lose me,” Y/N whispered, her hand moving to rest against his chest, feeling the rapid thump of his heart beneath her palm. “Joel, I’m here. I’m right here.”

He exhaled shakily, his forehead resting against hers as the weight of his fear and guilt crashed over him. His fingers gently traced the edge of the cut on her forehead, and for the first time in a long time, Joel allowed himself to feel to really feel what had been building inside him for so long.

“I should’ve told you,” he muttered, his voice hoarse. “I should’ve been honest. I’m sorry.”

Y/N leaned into him, her lips brushing against his cheek in a gesture of comfort. “It’s okay, Joel. We’ll figure it out.”

And for the first time in weeks, Joel believed her. He hadn’t lost everything he hadn’t lost her.

Y/N gazed up at Joel, her heart pounding in her chest as she took in the raw emotion etched into his handsome features. His hands trembled slightly as they cupped her face, his thumbs brushing gently over her cheeks. The air between them crackled with a tension that had been building for weeks, the unspoken feelings and longing finally boiling to the surface.

Joel's eyes searched hers intensely, the blue depths swirling with a maelstrom of emotions fear, guilt, regret, and something else, something that made Y/N's breath catch in her throat. His voice was low and rough when he spoke, each word laden with meaning.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Joel murmured, his forehead resting against hers as he struggled to find the right words. "I'm sorry for pushing you away, for not being able to see what was right in front of me. I was a damn fool."

Y/N's heart clenched at the raw vulnerability in his voice, her hands coming up to grip the front of his shirt. "Joel, you don't have to apologize," she breathed, her lips brushing against his jawline. "I understand. I do."

"No, you don't," he insisted, pulling back just enough to look her in the eye. "I've been so caught up in my own head, in my own pain, that I couldn't see how much you've come to mean to me. I couldn't let myself feel it."

Y/N's brows furrowed, her fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. "Joel, I'm not going anywhere," she whispered fiercely. "No matter what happens, I'm here. I'll always be here."

Something shifted in Joel's expression, a flicker of determination hardening his jaw. "I don't want you to go anywhere," he growled, his hands sliding down to her waist, pulling her flush against him. "I want you here, with me. Always."

Joel Miller cooked a romantic dinner for Y/N, complete with candles, soft music, and a delicious meal. After dinner, he walked her to her door, his hand warm and strong in hers.

As they reached the doorway, Joel turned to Y/N, his blue eyes filled with tenderness. "I had a really nice time tonight," he murmured, squeezing her hand. "Dinner was perfect."

Y/N gazed up at him, a soft smile on her lips. "It was lovely," she agreed, squeezing his hand back. "Thank you for cooking for me, Joel. It means a lot."

Joel brushed a stray curl behind her ear, his fingers lingering on her cheek. "Anything for you, angel," he said softly. "I'd do anything to make you happy."

Y/N's heart fluttered in her chest at his words. She could feel the love and devotion radiating off him, and it made her feel cherished and adored. "I'm so glad we found each other," she whispered, leaning into his touch. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Joel's hand slid down to cup her chin, tilting her face up to his. "You'll never have to find out," he promised, his voice low and intense. "I'm not going anywhere, Y/N. I'm yours, always and forever."

Y/N's breath caught in her throat as Joel's head dipped down, his lips brushing hers in a tender kiss. She melted into him, her arms wrapping around his neck as she kissed him back with all the love and passion in her heart.

The night air was cool as Y/N and Joel strolled back to her place, hands lightly brushing against each other, fingers occasionally intertwining. It was a comfortable silence between them, the kind that spoke volumes about their connection. Joel's heart was racing, knowing that he was about to spend the night with this captivating woman. Her green eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and her freckles, dusted across her cheeks, seemed to dance as she smiled at him.

As they reached her doorstep, Y/N turned, facing Joel, her expression a mix of desire and shyness. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, Joel. Goodnight."

Joel's throat went dry. He wanted to say something, something meaningful, but all he managed was a hoarse, "Goodnight, Y/N."

He turned to leave, his footsteps echoing on the pavement. But something pulled him back, an irresistible urge to see her again, to feel her warmth. He hesitated, then, in a swift motion, turned on his heels and headed back towards her house.

Just as he raised his hand to knock, the door swung open, and Y/N stood there, a mischievous glint in her eyes. Without a word, she grabbed the front of Joel's shirt, pulling him inside with a force that surprised him. The door slammed shut behind them, the sound echoing through the quiet house.

"Thought you'd leave without saying goodbye, huh?" Y/N teased, her voice low and sultry.

Joel, caught off guard by her sudden aggression, found himself pressed against the closed door, Y/N's body flush against his. He could feel her breath on his neck, sending shivers down his spine. "I... I couldn't leave without seeing you again," he managed to whisper.

"Good," she purred, her hands now roaming freely over his chest, making his heart pound even harder. "Because I've been thinking about this all night. About how good it would feel to have you inside me."

Joel's breath caught in his throat as her words, laced with raw desire, washed over him. He felt his control slipping away, replaced by a primal urge to possess her, to brand her as his.

Y/N's hands found the buttons of his shirt, deftly undoing them one by one, her touch sending sparks of pleasure through his body. As the fabric fell away, she traced her fingers along his chest, her nails lightly scraping his skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered, her lips brushing against his ear, sending shivers down his spine. "I want to taste every inch of you."

With that, she dropped to her knees, her hands working at his belt, fingers fumbling with the buckle, driven by her eagerness. Joel groaned, his hands threading through her hair, the soft strands slipping between his fingers. He felt exposed and vulnerable, yet utterly consumed by desire.

Y/N's lips found the tip of his erection, now freed from the confines of his pants, and she took him into her mouth, her tongue swirling around the head, tasting him, memorizing every inch. Her hands cupped his balls, gently massaging them as she took him deeper, her throat working to accommodate his length.

"Fuck, Y/N," Joel gasped, his head thrown back, his body arching towards her. "You're incredible."

She pulled back, a satisfied smile on her face, a glistening strand of saliva connecting her lips to the head of his cock. "I aim to please," she whispered, before taking him into her mouth again, this time with more urgency.

Joel's hands tightened in her hair, his hips thrusting gently, encouraging her actions. He could feel the pressure building, his breath coming in short gasps, his body on the brink of something explosive.

"Wait," he managed to say, his voice hoarse with need. "I want you, all of you."

Y/N rose, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. She kicked off her shoes and swiftly undressed, revealing her slender body, her breasts full and pert, her nipples hard with desire. She wore nothing but a smile and a small silver chain around her waist, drawing Joel's eyes to the glistening wetness between her thighs.

Joel kicked off his shoes and shimmied out of his pants, his eyes never leaving her. He was hard, aching with need, his cock standing proudly, twitching with anticipation.

Y/N backed towards the nearby couch, her movements graceful, like a feline stalking its prey. She sat on the edge, spreading her legs, inviting him with her eyes. Joel needed no further encouragement. He moved between her thighs, positioning himself at her entrance, feeling her heat enveloping him.

With one smooth thrust, he filled her, their bodies becoming one. Y/N's eyes widened, a soft moan escaping her lips as she adjusted to his size. Joel paused, giving her a moment to acclimate to his presence, his hands gripping her thighs, feeling the softness of her skin.

"You feel so good," he whispered, his voice thick with desire. "So tight and warm."

"More," she breathed, her hands pulling him closer, her nails digging into his shoulders. "Please, Joel, more."

Joel began to move, his hips thrusting slowly at first, then with increasing urgency, each stroke pushing deeper, eliciting moans and gasps from Y/N. Her fingers dug into his back, leaving marks that would remind them of this moment.

"You're so beautiful," he groaned, his eyes drinking in the sight of her, her hair tousled, her freckles more pronounced as her passion rose. "Your freckles are perfect, like stars in the night sky."

Y/N's eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze, and she smiled, a smile that reached her eyes, making his heart skip a beat. "I love the way you look at me," she whispered, her voice breathless.

Joel's movements became more frantic, his body building towards an inevitable climax. He felt Y/N's walls clenching around him, her body responding to his, their connection deepening with every thrust.

"I'm close," she panted, her nails scraping his back, marking him as her own. "Oh God, Joel, I'm so close."

Joel's body was on fire, his senses alive with the feel and taste of Y/N. He thrust harder, faster, wanting to give her everything, wanting to see her fly apart in his arms.

"You're so tight around me," he grunted, his voice raw with desire. "I'm gonna cum, Y/N. I'm gonna fill you up."

Y/N's eyes widened, her body tensing, and then she was crying out, her climax crashing over her, her walls rippling around him, milking him as she rode out her orgasm. Joel followed, his own release overwhelming him, his cock throbbing as he emptied himself deep inside her, filling her with his essence.

They collapsed, a tangle of limbs, onto the couch, their hearts pounding, their breath coming in ragged gasps. Joel held Y/N close, his hands stroking her back, feeling the rise and fall of her chest as their breathing slowly returned to normal.

"You're incredible," he whispered, his lips brushing her temple. "I've never felt anything like that."

Y/N smiled, a satisfied, post-coital glow on her face. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Joel Miller," she purred, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest. "And you taste like cherries, did you know that?"

Joel laughed, a deep, contented sound, and pulled her closer, burying his face in her sweet-smelling hair. "I think I'm gonna need a lot more of your special flavor, Y/N. I'm not sure I can ever get enough."

They lay there, wrapped in each other's arms, their bodies still buzzing with the aftermath of their passionate encounter, both knowing that this was just beginning of their story.

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #joel miller #joelmiller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagine #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joelmiller #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x original character #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character

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skateboreds · 2 years ago

Text

A Slice of Orange

chp. 1

*FKA The Orange Slice*

pairing: joel miller x reader

summary: The most dangerous man in town has been staring at you nonstop, but keeps his distance until the night he walks you home...

AO3 link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45087460/chapters/113423947#workskin

CHAPTER ONE

This guy’s a real fucking asshole, isn’t he?

The thought forms while you take in Tate, the man who runs Jackson’s trading post. He stands there sneering, withered inside and out. He has always been a condescending short-changer and a grade A, absolute-mother-fucking, asshole.

“These boots are worth at least twenty, Tate.” you say with as much venom in your voice as you can muster.

The boots were old, but the leather was still good and you weren’t walking away without fifteen cards at least. Rent was due soon and you’ve been skipping meals more often than you’d like in order to make sure you had enough.

“I figured you were stupid sweetheart, but not that stupid. Those piece of shit boots are barely worth five.” he drawls, leaning over the counter towards you.

Five!? Five was barely anything, five was a handful of buttons at best. He smirked, clearly on an ego high. That smirk, the smirk of men who didn’t think you had a place to fight in this new hardened world, all too familiar, set you off. If you were smart, you’d keep your mouth shut and take what you could, but anger propels you to take a step towards him, to show him you’re not afraid.

“And I figured the most disgusting thing I had ever seen was a bloater with half its brains blown out till I saw you.”

Tate’s face grimaces and you prepare to have your boots thrown in your face when a short laugh comes from the entrance of the cramped shop. You both whip your heads, craning yours to look almost directly behind you. All the anger fades out of you as you see him. Large, broad shoulders, faded flannel shirt pushed up his forearms to show tan skin and corded muscles. You swallow dryly.

Joel Miller.

He’s leaning against the open doorjamb, arms folded over his chest. His face is hard, eyes cold as they always are, but there is a small smile on his lips. You didn’t hear him come in, silent, always so silent. It’s happened more times than you can count. You’d be getting a drink, or on a run to the general store, and the air would change. People would get quiet and careful all of a sudden, the only clue you ever got that he was around before you saw him. And then you’d spot him, sidling up at the bar, or filling a pack with supplies. His massive frame in his usual tan outdoorsmen jacket, his salt and pepper beard and thick waves of dark hair, his quick eyes looking at you. Why were they always looking at you? You wondered this constantly. Were you making it up? You didn’t think like you were, you could feel his eyes on you when you were in the same room, never for long, but always impossibly intense. You wondered if you bothered him. If the flame in his regard was because he disliked you, like a lot of men in this town did. You were used to that; you were a loudmouth, known for telling off anyone who got in your way, and here that happened quite a bit. When you’re a girl and you don’t know how to fight, you learn to scare people off with your words. And it usually works, until it doesn’t. Like with Tate. Which brings you back to the moment you’re in.

You have the satisfaction of seeing Tate stiffen with fear, his face blanching as Joel eases himself off the doorframe and slowly approaches you both. He stops when he reaches your left shoulder, your arms almost brushing as he places three plump, dead pheasants on the counter. Your body has two very strong reactions to this. Firstly, electricity zings on your skin at the lost touch. Secondly, your stomach growls at the sight of the birds and how long they’d keep you fed. You hope he can’t hear the latter.

“I’ll take fifty for these, and twenty-five for the boots.”

Your eyes widen. So do Tate’s.

“Oh, you can’t be serious, Joe-“

Joel cuts Tate a look that stops him dead in his tracks. He stares back at Joel, trying to muster half the intimidation the man besides you holds and fails miserably. He takes too long to move though, so Joel takes one step forward and Tate backs away.

“Fine.” is all Tate says as he grabs the dead birds and your boots and walks to the back of the store.

You’re only aware that you’re gaping at Joel when he slowly steps back and turns to take you in. You snap your mouth shut, realizing it’s been hanging open like a beached fish.

You don’t know what to say so you just stare back at him. Several moments pass.

“You run your mouth to everyone in this town yet got nothing to say to me?” he finally speaks.

If anyone else had said that to you, you would have flipped them off. But Joel’s eyes are different now, not warm, but not ice cold like before either. They seem curious, and that amused smile is tugging at the edge of his mouth again.

“Th-Thank you.” You clear your throat trying to cover the embarrassing stutter that escapes your slightly trembling lips. “But you didn’t have to do that. I can do just fine on my own.”

“I’m sure you can.” is all he replies, eye boring into yours.

You’re pinned there, under his gaze. This is the closest you’ve ever been to him, the most you’ve ever heard him speak. You always wondered what color his eyes were, they looked brown from afar. But there were several times, caught in a slice of sunlight, that something lighter seemed to gleam. Looking at him now, you can make out the shape of them better, surprisingly sweet for such a hardened face. The color remains muddled though, his face backlit and mostly in shadow as you look up at him, a full head taller than you. You haven’t wanted to admit to yourself just how much of a giant crush you have on this handsome man double your age, but standing before him like this, it feels undeniable. You think about him a lot. When you go into town and he’s there, when you go into town and he’s not. When you let yourself write about him in your tattered journal. When you go to sleep, mostly, and whenever you dip your hands below your waistband in your small bed. That, you’ve done an embarrassing amount. You have the same fantasy on loop, of his fingers and what they’d feel like if they worked between your thighs… You don’t want to be thinking of all of this while you stand before him, but you can’t help it and you’re left feeling like he can read it in your thoughts. Like all your hopeless, stupid yearnings are written all over your face and he’s going to see them and laugh out loud. Your cheeks start to burn hot and red and the curiosity in his eyes grows sharper, almost…hungry.

You’re holding your body so rigidly you feel as if you might snap when Tate, thankfully, returns. You are released from Joel’s gaze as he accepts the wad of ration cards that Jackson uses as currency. He turns to leave and gestures at you to follow. You’re surprised at this but you oblige, pausing only briefly to stick out your tongue at Tate. He flips you off as you hasten after Joel into the dim twilight.

The dusty road has a good amount of people on it, and you’re very aware of the fact that you’re now walking alongside the Joel Miller. A few eyes look you up and down as you both pass, no doubt wondering what the likes of you is doing with the scariest man in town.

You follow him wordlessly, not paying any attention to where he is leading you, or why, taking in the wooden buildings around you instead, most streets lined with string bulbs, illuminating the dusk. However, there aren’t as many lights on this side of town, closer to the outskirts, and the indigo outline of snowcapped mountains looms in the distance. Suddenly, Joel pulls something from a side pocket of his pack. In his large hand, he begins peeling a lopsided orange. You can’t help but eye how long his fingers are, working the rind off the fruit. And instead of throwing the peels on the dirt road, like most would, he places each piece into his pocket. You notice this, how gently he handles the fruit, how careful he is not to drop a single scrap of skin. Unusual. His meticulous fingers bring you back to your recurring fantasy. You’re snapped out of it when he then breaks the orange into parts and extends one half out to you. You look at him surprised. He looks back, nonchalant.

Why is Joel Miller offering you half an orange?

Despite your confusion, you can’t help but want it. Fruit isn’t plenty here in the mountains, and oranges have always been your favorite. So, you reach out and take the half from him. Your fingers brush as you grab it, and you feel like you’ve been electrocuted. He pulls back quickly and looks ahead as he pops a slice into his mouth. Slowly, you do the same, trying to hide the tremble in your hand. It’s pretty fucking good. As far as oranges go, this one’s especially sweet. You can’t help the slight smile that pulls on the edge of your lips, but you drop it before he can notice.

You both walk in the growing dark, eating orange slices, when you realize if you are ever going to speak to this man again this might be your only chance.

“It must be nice to have everyone here afraid shitless of you, to know you can make any trade you want” you say truthfully as you pull a fiber of white off your last slice, and carefully pocket it.

He doesn’t answer you.

For some reason this bothers you, mostly because you don’t want him to think that you’re like everyone else, terrified of him. Because you’ve seen him be gentle, mostly when he was with his daughter Ellie, but also moments like now. The perfectly peeled orange half was proof of that. You knew there was something tender in him, deep down. You speak before you think.

“Well, they might be afraid of you…but I’m n-not.”

It comes out sounding like a lie, because it sort of is. You are terrified of him, but for very different reasons from everyone else. Joel stops now and turns to look at you, arching a dark brow.

“Is that so?”

You don’t know how to say anything that could even remotely intimidate this man, so you just set your jaw and stare back with as much bite as you dare to give someone with a hunting rifle slung over their back.

He smirks at this, eyes dancing, and pulls out a wad of card rations, handing it to you.

“Your cut.”

You completely forgot about those, you realize, having followed him just because he asked you to. Your face burns again with the embarrassment of this, following a grown man you hardly knew down winding, dim streets to who knows where. You can’t believe how stupid you feel around him. You look away so he can’t see you blush twice in one day and in doing so you realize where you both stand. To your right is Mabel’s shop, a kind woman who accepts minimal pay for clothing repair. And above that is a series of tiny rooms in a hallway, rooms she rents out to people without much money or family. The one directly on top of the shop front, facing the street with one small square window, is yours. It takes you a second to register that he has brought you home. That he knows where you live. Your thoughts stop and then sputter into chaos.

How does he know where you live??

You open your mouth to question him when, he pops his last slice into his smirking mouth and saunters off without a word of goodbye, his long legs moving swiftly.

How does he know where you live!!!!!!!!!!??????

You try to figure out whether you should be freaked out or impressed by his knowledge when you look down at your rations, expecting to see twenty-five but counting too high. Your brows furrow and you count again, getting the same number. You look up, taken fully aback at his retreating figure, heading towards the residential part of the city.

You’re not sure what it means, and you’re not sure why, but for some reason that you know isn’t a mistake, Joel Miller gave you fifty cards.

144 notes · View notes

mssalo · 18 days ago

Text

ma'am

Joel Miller’s spent a lifetime in control, but under your confident lead, he’s discovered just how good it feels to let go. As your right-hand man in Jackson, he’s desperate to please, finding himself worshiping you in ways he’s never dared before—and loving every filthy second of it.

Warnings: MDNI, 18+, sub!Joel, dom!f!reader, oral (male and female receiving), nipple play (SUCKING JOEL’S NIPPLES like he deserves), premature ejaculation, dirty talk, praise kink, begging, desperation kink, Joel whimpering, explicit sexual content, mutual devotion, protective partnership, reader is emotionally supportive but firm, Joel finds comfort in being cared for (he’s babygirl) and Joel being so far gone it’s frankly adorable.

11k. enjoy.

part two: after hours

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

Joel Miller had always been the guy people turned to when things needed fixing—whether it was a busted fence, a tough decision, or clearing out a horde of infected, he was the dependable one. The solid one. The man who got things done without flinching.

But with you, it was different.

You weren’t like anyone else in Jackson. You’d arrived last winter, stepping into the town’s bustling life like you’d always belonged, and somehow, you’d made it your own.

People respected you—trusted you—not because you demanded it, but because you commanded it. You were sharp, resourceful, and unshakably confident.

Joel couldn’t decide if you reminded him of a soldier or a queen, but either way, it made his chest tighten every time you spoke.

It started innocently enough.

“Joel, we need these supplies moved to the north gate before sundown,” you said one day, standing by the depot, that calm, no-nonsense tone that made Joel’s stomach flip.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied without thinking, the words slipping out as easily as breathing.

You’d looked up, a flicker of amusement in your eyes. “Didn’t peg you for the ‘yes ma’am’ type,” you teased lightly, your lips curving into that small, knowing smile.

Joel had flushed, shifting on his feet like a boy caught stealing. “Guess it’s just… habit.”

You didn’t push, just nodded and turned back, but Joel couldn’t get the moment out of his head.

Something about the way you spoke to him—firm but never condescending, confident but never overbearing—lit something inside him he hadn’t felt in years.

Respect, maybe. Or something deeper, darker, and far more dangerous.

The more months you worked together, the worse it got for him.

“Joel, grab the shotgun and cover me,” you ordered one day, crouched behind a rusted-out truck as infected skittered through the woods ahead. Your voice was steady, even in the heat of the moment, and Joel’s chest swelled as he followed your lead without question.

Another time, while patrolling the perimeter, you had said, “Check the west side at dusk. Let me know if anything’s out of place.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Joel had answered automatically, his voice softer, almost reverent.

You didn’t always notice how easily he fell into step with you, how much he craved the way you trusted him to follow through.

But Joel noticed. Every damn time.

And it wasn’t just respect—though that was there too—it was something raw and magnetic. Something that made his chest tighten and his cock stir in ways that left him fumbling for composure.

It wasn’t just the way you spoke. It was the way you carried yourself. The way you moved through the world with confidence that was effortless, never forced.

You weren’t trying to prove anything to anyone—you just were. You called the shots when they needed calling, and people listened, not because they had to, but because they wanted to.

Joel wanted to. And more than that, he liked it.

One night, it all came to a head.

Jackson was quiet, the streets bathed in the soft glow of lanterns strung between buildings. Joel was walking back from the stables when he spotted you on the porch of the town hall, a map spread across the railing in front of you.

The way the light hit your face, catching on your jawline and softening your features, made his chest ache.

“Joel,” you called, your voice slicing through the stillness like a blade.

He froze for half a second before making his way over, his boots crunching softly on the gravel.

His pulse quickened as he got closer, his eyes darting over you—your loose hair falling over one shoulder, the curve of your wrist as you held the edge of the map, the faint furrow in your brow that he desperately wanted to smooth away.

“Everything alright?” he asked, his voice rougher than he intended.

You glanced up, your eyes meeting his. “Come take a look at this,” you said, motioning him closer.

Joel stepped up beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he looked at the map.

The faint scent of soap and leather lingered on you, and Joel had to force himself to focus on what you were pointing at—a marked spot near the riverbank.

“Been seeing signs of movement out here the past couple nights,” you explained. “Could be nothing, but I want to clear it tomorrow. Need someone to back me up. You in?”

“Always,” Joel said immediately, his voice quieter than he intended but no less firm. His fingers brushed yours as he took the map, and he swore he felt a spark.

You smiled then—just a small curve of your lips—but it sent heat rushing through Joel’s chest. “Good. Be ready at dawn.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Joel murmured before he could stop himself.

Your brows lifted slightly, amusement flickering in your expression. “You don’t have to keep calling me that, you know.”

Joel rubbed the back of his neck, his cheeks warming. “Can’t help it,” he muttered, his gaze sliding to the ground. “Suits you.”

Your smile widened just enough to make his heart stumble. “If you say so.”

With that, you folded the map, tucked it under your arm, and disappeared into the town hall, leaving Joel standing there like a damn fool, his chest tight and his jeans uncomfortably snug.

He swore under his breath, adjusting his stance in a futile attempt to ease the ache building low in his belly.

It wasn’t fair.

The way you got under his skin without even trying. The way you made him feel… lighter and heavier all at once.

Joel had spent his whole life being the one people leaned on, the one who carried the weight, and for once, he didn’t mind letting someone else take the reins.

Hell, he wanted to.

He wanted to follow you, to listen to you, to give you every ounce of control you asked for.

Joel stayed rooted to the spot, staring at the closed door of the town hall long after you’d gone inside.

His pulse pounded in his ears, the ache in his jeans growing unbearable as his mind replayed the last few moments—the way your voice curled around his name, the subtle command in your tone when you told him to be ready, the approving smile that lingered on your lips when he’d answered.

It was ridiculous, he thought bitterly, rubbing the back of his neck. He was a grown man, for Christ’s sake, and yet here he was, rock-hard in the middle of Jackson like some lovesick idiot.

His cock throbbed against the tight denim of his jeans, a constant, humiliating reminder of how badly he wanted you—how badly he needed you.

Joel swallowed hard, adjusting himself as subtly as he could manage, though the motion sent a shiver of frustration through him.

This was nothing new.

Every time he was around you, it was like his body betrayed him, reacting to the sound of your voice, the sway of your hips, the smallest flick of your wrist as you gestured for him to follow.

He couldn’t stop thinking about it—about you.

The way you carried yourself, confident and composed, made his chest tighten in ways that were equal parts admiration and raw, aching need.

You were everything Joel wasn’t. Steady. Collected. In control. And fuck if he didn’t crave that about you.

More than anything, he craved the way you made him feel. Like he could just… let go.

The thought sent a fresh jolt of arousal straight to his cock, and Joel bit back a groan, his hand clenching at his side.

He’d spent years—decades—being the man people turned to, the one who handled the tough shit without complaint.

But with you? He didn’t want to be the guy in charge.

He wanted to be the one following orders, wanted to be the one looking up at you, waiting for your approval.

He wanted to make you proud.

To hear you say his name the way you had earlier, with that faint hint of amusement, like you saw something in him that no one else ever had.

Goddamn it, he was pathetic.

Joel shook his head, muttering a low curse under his breath as he turned away from the town hall.

The walk back to his house felt like a blur, his thoughts too tangled to focus on anything but you.

Every step sent a dull throb through his cock, and by the time he reached his front door, his hands were trembling, his jaw tight with restraint.

Inside, Joel leaned heavily against the door, the cool wood pressing into his back as he exhaled shakily. His chest rose and fell in uneven waves, the pounding of his heart loud in the stillness of the house.

The faint creak of the floorboards beneath his boots reminded him he wasn’t dreaming, though he almost wished he were—wished the memory of you wasn’t so vivid it set his whole body on fire.

His jacket slid from his shoulders and hung limply on the hook by the door, but the ritual did little to calm him.

His hand lingered against the fabric, fingers gripping tightly for a moment as though holding on to it might anchor him. But there was no escape—not from the way you lingered in his thoughts, the way your voice echoed in his ears like a melody he couldn’t shake.

C’mere, Joel. I need you to check this.

C’mere, Joel….

The words played on repeat, the confidence in your tone, the subtle curve of authority behind every syllable.

The way you’d glanced at him tonight, your eyes catching his for just a second longer than necessary—it was enough to drive him insane.

Joel groaned softly, the sound rough and guttural as he pressed the heel of his palm against the stiff, aching bulge in his jeans.

“Jesus,” he muttered, shaking his head as if that might clear it. But it didn’t. It never did. He’d thought about you like this too many times to count.

Late at night, alone in the dark, his fist slick and tight around his cock, imagining you leaning over him, your voice a breathy, commanding whisper.

“Good boy, Joel. Just like that.”

It was the praise that undid him every time, the approval he ached for, that soft edge of control in your voice that made his chest tighten and his hips buck into his hand.

Joel’s teeth dug into his bottom lip as he pushed off the door, his steps hurried and uneven as he made his way toward the bedroom.

His body was hot, his skin flushed as he kicked the door shut behind him and leaned against it, his breath coming fast and shallow.

He didn’t bother with the lights. There was no point when the image of you burned so brightly in his mind.

His hands fumbled with his belt, the leather sliding free with a sharp hiss before he shoved his jeans down his thighs, kicking them aside.

His cock sprang free, thick and heavy, the tip already glistening with pre-cum.

Joel wrapped his calloused fingers around himself, his rough palm dragging slowly along the length as his head tipped back against the door.

A soft, broken groan escaped his lips, and he tightened his grip, savoring the sharp sensation.

“Yes,” Joel whispered hoarsely, his hips jerking into his hand as the thought took hold.

The image was so vivid it made his knees weak.

“On your knees, Joel. Let me see how much you want it.”

He imagined you standing over him, your hands on your hips, your lips curved into that wicked, knowing smile.

You’d look down at him like you owned him, and Joel would crumble beneath that gaze, his body desperate to obey.

His hand moved faster, his strokes rougher as his chest heaved. “Fuck,” he muttered, his voice thick and broken. “I’d do it. Anything you want, darlin’. Just… just fuckin’ tell me.”

And then, there was the fantasy he couldn’t shake. You’d guide him down—your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling just hard enough to make him hiss as you tilted his face up toward yours.

“You want to make me feel good, baby? Show me.” You’d press his face between your thighs, your warmth surrounding him, and Joel would lose himself.

He could almost feel it—the softness of your skin, the slick heat of your cunt against his lips. His tongue would trace slow, deliberate circles around your clit, savoring the way your body trembled beneath his mouth.

You’d moan his name, your voice breathy and broken, and it would be the only thing he cared about.

Joel groaned loudly, his hips jerking off the door as his hand tightened, the slick sound filling the room. “Please,” he rasped, his voice shaking. “Please, darlin’. Let me be good for you. Let me—”

He imagined you grinding against his face, your thighs clenching around his head as you guided him, demanding more. “That’s it, Joel. Just like that. Don’t stop until I come, baby.”

The thought of your approval, of hearing you call him a good boy as he worked tirelessly to please you, made his cock throb painfully in his hand. “I’d do it,” he muttered hoarsely. “I’d fuckin’ worship you, darlin’. Just say the word.”

The tension snapped, his body locking up as his release hit. Hot, thick spurts spilled over his hand, his voice breaking into a low, guttural groan as his hips jerked helplessly.

Your name fell from his lips, raw and reverent, as the pleasure coursed through him, leaving him trembling and spent.

For a long moment, Joel stood there, his chest heaving, his hand still wrapped loosely around his softening cock.

The air was thick with the scent of his arousal, the evidence of his need dripping onto the floor, and yet all he could think about was you. Your voice, your smile, the way you made him feel like he could let go of everything and just… be.

Joel swallowed hard, his jaw tightening as he finally pushed off the door and reached for a towel.

He cleaned himself up quickly, his thoughts still tangled, his body still thrumming with the remnants of his release. But even as the tension faded, the ache lingered—the desperate, aching need for you.

For your voice. For your touch. For your approval.

And Joel knew he’d never stop wanting it. Never stop wanting you.

Because this wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. Not until he had you.

Not until he could hear you say his name the way he’d always dreamed, soft and breathless, your hands gripping his shoulders as you told him exactly what to do.

· · ───

The sun was barely cresting the horizon as you and Joel set out toward the riverbank, the chilly morning air biting at your cheeks. Joel kept a steady pace beside you, his rifle slung across his shoulder, his eyes scanning the dense treeline with practiced precision.

Despite the tension that always came with patrols, there was a comfort in your presence—a grounding force that he couldn’t quite put into words.

The faint scent of soap and leather lingered on you, familiar and steady, and Joel found himself stealing glances at you more than he should.

You walked with such assuredness, each step purposeful, and the soft sway of your hips had him swallowing harder than necessary.

He tried to focus, but your commanding presence made it impossible not to feel both overwhelmed and grounded.

“See this?” you murmured, crouching near a patch of disturbed dirt. Your voice was low, clipped, yet patient as you gestured for him to come closer. “Looks like someone’s been through here recently. More than one.”

Joel crouched beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he examined the ground.

The way your hair caught the morning light, the subtle curve of your neck—it was too much. His chest tightened as he forced his gaze to the dirt and away from the way your lips parted slightly in concentration.

“Yeah,” he muttered, his voice rougher than intended. “Could be raiders.”

“Could be,” you agreed, straightening and adjusting the strap of your pack. “Let’s keep moving. Stay sharp.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Joel said before he could stop himself, the words slipping out instinctively.

You glanced at him, one brow arching, the barest hint of a smirk tugging at your lips.

You turned without a word, leading the way through the uneven terrain. Joel followed close behind, his pulse quickening with every step.

You always had this effect on him, like you were a magnet and he couldn’t help but be pulled in.

The ambush came fast.

Raiders poured from the treeline, their weapons raised, shouts breaking the morning quiet.

Joel moved on instinct, diving behind a fallen log and returning fire, but it was you who commanded the chaos with sharp, decisive orders.

“Joel! Left flank! Cover me!”

He obeyed without question, his rifle steady as he took down one of the raiders attempting to circle around.

Even in the heat of the moment, his eyes kept darting to you—how you moved like a ghost through the underbrush, your aim deadly, your composure unshaken.

But when one of them charged at your blind spot, Joel didn’t think. He moved.

The gunshot echoed like thunder as he dropped the man with a single shot.

You spun to face him, your eyes wide—not with fear but with something else. Relief? Gratitude? Whatever it was, it made his chest swell.

“Thanks,” you said, your tone steady despite the chaos. “But I told you—stay back.”

Joel gritted his teeth but nodded, ducking back behind cover as you finished off the last of the raiders.

When the dust settled, you stood amidst the wreckage, your rifle slung over your shoulder, your expression calm but sharp.

You scanned the area one last time before nodding.

“We’re clear,” you said, turning toward him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Joel replied, though his arm burned where a bullet had grazed him.

He shifted, trying to hide the blood seeping through his sleeve.

Your eyes narrowed. “You’re hit.”

“It’s nothin’,” he muttered, brushing it off.

“It’s not nothing,” you snapped, stepping closer. Your hand grabbed his arm, firm but not harsh. “We’re done here. You’re going back to Jackson. Now.”

Joel stiffened, his jaw tightening. “I can keep goin’. I’m fine.”

You tilted your head, the corners of your lips pulling into a wry, almost dangerous smile.

“Joel,” you said, your voice low but laced with authority that sent a shiver down his spine. “Do I look like I’m asking?”

Joel swallowed hard, his pulse hammering in his ears. “No, ma’am,” he muttered, his voice quieter this time, almost reverent.

“Good.” Your fingers lingered on his arm for just a second longer than necessary, the heat of your touch branding him, before you turned toward the horses. “Let’s move.”

At the clinic, Joel sat on the cot, his shirt discarded, the gash on his arm raw and angry. He winced as the doctor worked, stitching the wound with quick precision.

But his eyes weren’t on the needle or the thread—they were on you, leaning against the doorway with your arms crossed, your expression unreadable.

“You’ll need to rest for at least a couple days,” the doctor said, tying off the final stitch. “No patrols, no heavy lifting.”

Joel opened his mouth to argue, but your sharp glance silenced him immediately.

“Got it,” you said curtly, nodding at the doctor. “Thank you.”

When the doctor left, you turned to Joel, your arms dropping to your sides as you stepped closer. “Let’s get you home.”

Back at his house, you guided him inside, your hand on his arm, your touch firm and steady.

Joel sank onto the couch with a groan, his body heavier than he wanted to admit. You moved with purpose, disappearing into the kitchen before reappearing with a damp cloth and a glass of water.

“You don’t have to—” he started, but you cut him off with a look that had him snapping his mouth shut.

“Let me,” you said, your tone leaving no room for argument.

You knelt beside him, pressing the cloth gently to his arm. Joel swallowed hard, his breath catching at the sight of you so close, your fingers brushing against his skin.

The faint scent of you—clean and sharp, with a hint of something sweet—filled his senses, and he had to clench his fists to keep from reaching out.

When you finished, you sat back on your heels, your eyes meeting his. “Joel,” you said softly, “why do you push yourself so hard?”

Joel looked away, his jaw tightening. “Don’t wanna feel useless,” he muttered. “Don’t wanna… be a burden.”

“You’re not a burden,” you said firmly, leaning closer, your voice carrying a weight that made Joel’s chest ache. “You’re the furthest thing from it.”

Joel’s eyes flicked to yours, his breath catching at the intensity in your gaze. “I just…” He hesitated, his voice breaking. “I just wanna be good for you. Wanna make you proud.”

You tilted your head, a slow, knowing smile curving your lips.

“You already are, Joel,” you murmured, reaching out to cup his face. Your thumb brushed over his cheekbone, and Joel leaned into your touch like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

Joel’s breath was uneven, his good hand curling into a fist on his thigh as he struggled to find the words.

You sat beside him on the couch, quiet and steady, your eyes on his face, your expression calm yet unreadable. It only made him more frantic.

“I—I can’t stop thinkin’ about you,” Joel stammered, his voice rough and breaking.

He rubbed a hand over his face, his palm trembling slightly as if he was trying to physically hold himself together.

“I need… I need you close. I don’t know what the hell I’m doin’, but I—I can’t keep this to myself anymore.”

Your lips parted slightly, but you didn’t speak. You just nodded slowly, your gaze unwavering, and it made him feel both exposed and comforted all at once. The tension in his chest was unbearable.

“I—dammit,” he muttered, his voice thick, his gaze darting everywhere but your face.

“I’m tryin’ to say it right, but I don’t—I can’t—I need you, alright? I can’t stop thinkin’ about you. About how you—how you’re always so damn steady, and you—”

He sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes finally locking on yours. They were glassy now, his vulnerability laid bare. “You make it easier, y’know? Just bein’ around you… I feel like I can breathe. Like maybe I ain’t so—so broken after all. And I… I need that. I need you.”

You tilted your head slightly, your lips curving into the faintest smile. It wasn’t teasing, wasn’t pitying. It was understanding, warm, and Joel swore it made his chest ache even more.

“Baby,” you murmured softly, the endearment sending a shiver down his spine. “You like me…romantically?”

Joel froze for a moment, his breath catching as your words settled over him. His lips parted, but all he could do was nod, the movement small and jerky, like he was afraid to admit it outright.

“Want to be good for me?” you asked, your voice a low, soothing hum.

Joel’s nod came faster this time, his breathing growing heavier as he leaned into you, desperate for something he couldn’t quite name.

You leaned in slowly, cupping his face with one hand, your thumb brushing over the rough stubble along his jaw.

Joel’s eyes fluttered shut as you pressed your lips to his, soft and lingering, and the low, guttural sound he made against your mouth was filled with need.

His hand reached out, gripping your waist as if anchoring himself to you, and his lips parted under yours, seeking more.

But just as he leaned into the kiss, you pulled back, your face still close enough that your breath mingled with his.

“Get better for me first, yeah?” you murmured, your thumb trailing along his jaw.

Joel’s eyes snapped open, his brows furrowing as he shook his head. “No, please,” he whispered, his voice rough and desperate.

“Please, I can’t—I’ve been waitin’ for so long. Please don’t make me wait anymore.”

You shushed him softly, your fingers sliding through his hair, and Joel practically melted under your touch, his body trembling with the effort to hold himself back.

“You’ll wait,” you said firmly, though your tone was still warm. “Because you’re mine, and I’m not about to let you go. But first, I need you strong, Joel. Need you rested. Yeah?”

Joel let out a shaky breath, his forehead dropping to your shoulder as he nodded, though his grip on you didn’t loosen. “Alright,” he rasped, his voice barely audible. “Alright. But just… just promise me you’ll be safe.”

“Well…you know me, baby,” you whispered, your lips brushing against the crown of his head.

Joel’s breath hitched again, his arms wrapping around your waist, holding you close as if to prove to himself that you were real. And as the weight of the moment settled between you, he felt something he hadn’t in years—peace.

· · ───

Joel had never been good at resting, but being sidelined for days was pure torture.

His arm still kinda ached where the stitches pulled at the edges of the wound, but the pain was nothing compared to the gnawing anxiety that came from not seeing you.

Three days felt like a lifetime, and every hour that passed without you made his chest feel tighter.

You’d been on patrol since the crack of dawn, and Joel had spent most of the day pacing around his house, every creak of the floorboards setting his nerves on edge.

He hadn’t wanted to push his luck with the doctor or you, so he’d stayed home, but the absence of your presence was like a physical ache.

He’d heard the patrol schedule—you were checking the area near the riverbank, where the raiders had been sighted.

The thought of you out there, alone or with someone who wasn’t him, made his stomach churn.

Joel knew you could handle yourself—he’d seen it firsthand—but the idea of you in danger without him there to back you up was unbearable.

By the time the sun dipped below the horizon, Joel couldn’t take it anymore.

His boots thudded against the wooden floors as he grabbed his jacket and rifle, the pain in his arm be damned.

If he didn’t see you soon, he was going to lose his mind.

The gates of Jackson were quiet, the air cool and crisp as Joel made his way toward the watchtower. A few guards gave him curious glances, but no one stopped him. He wasn’t exactly known for staying out of trouble, injured or not.

“Have you seen her?” Joel asked one of the guards at the gate, his voice gruff.

“Think she’s still out near the west ridge,” the man replied, tilting his hat back. “They were due back an hour ago, though.”

Joel’s jaw tightened. An hour ago. His grip on his rifle tightened as he set off toward the west ridge, his boots crunching against the gravel.

The relief was like a flood when he spotted you in the distance, your silhouette unmistakable against the fading light.

You were walking back toward the gates, your pack slung over your shoulder, your rifle in hand. Joel’s breath hitched at the sight of you, his steps quickening as he closed the distance between you.

“Where the hell have you been?” Joel barked, his voice harsher than he intended as he reached you.

You raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by his tone. “Patrol. Where I said I’d be.”

“You were late,” Joel muttered, his gaze sweeping over you, searching for any sign of injury. “Anything happen out there?”

“Couple of runners,” you replied, brushing past him toward the gate. “Nothing bad.”

Joel followed you, his chest tight as he struggled to find the right words. “You could’ve sent word. Let someone know you were runnin’ behind.”

You turned to face him then, your eyes sharp. “Joel, I’m fine. I’m more worried about why you’re out here when you’re supposed to be resting.”

“I was worried about you,” Joel admitted, his voice quieter now, though no less intense. “Didn’t like not knowin’ if you were okay.”

Your expression softened, and you let out a quiet sigh. “Joel, I told you I’d be back.”

“And what if somethin’ had happened?” Joel pressed, his voice growing rough. “What if—” He stopped, his jaw clenching as he looked away.

You stepped closer, your hand resting gently on his arm. “Hey,” you said softly, your tone soothing. “I’m here. I’m okay. And you need to trust that I can take care of myself.”

Joel’s eyes flicked back to yours, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly at the steadiness in your gaze. “I know you can,” he muttered. “Doesn’t mean I’m not gonna worry.”

You smiled faintly, squeezing his arm. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Joel huffed a laugh, the sound low and rough. “Ain’t what I meant, but… yeah, take it how you want.”

“Come on,” you said, nudging him toward the gate. “Let’s get you home. You’re not supposed to be out here.”

Joel wanted to argue, but the warmth in your voice and the steady grip on his arm made it impossible.

He let you guide him back toward his house, the tension in his chest slowly unwinding with every step.

The walk back to Joel’s house was quiet at first, the two of you falling into an easy rhythm. But as you neared the porch, Joel’s tongue loosened, and the floodgates opened.

“What was it like out there today? Was it quiet before the runners? Were they close? You eat somethin’? Drink enough water?”

You chuckled softly, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. “Joel, I’m fine. I promise.”

“I know, I know,” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, his steps faltering slightly as you led him inside. “Just… can’t stop thinkin’ about it. About you. Out there without me.”

His voice was rough, his words tumbling out so quickly he barely had time to filter them. “I mean, I know you’re capable—hell, more than capable—but I wasn’t there, and… I hate not bein’ there.”

You stopped just inside the doorway, turning to face him. Joel’s eyes darted over you, like he was trying to memorize every detail, his breathing uneven, his hands twitching at his sides as if he wanted to reach for you but didn’t quite dare.

“You’re rambling, Joel,” you said softly, your voice calm and steady as you reached up to cup his cheek.

Joel froze, his breath hitching at your touch, his wide eyes locking onto yours. “I just…” he began, his voice faltering. “I just—”

“Hush,” you murmured, your thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “I’m here. I’m fine. And I’m not going anywhere for another 4 days.”

Joel exhaled shakily, leaning into your touch like a man starved. “I know,” he rasped. “I know, but I can’t stop—”

You silenced him with a kiss, your lips soft and warm against his, and Joel melted beneath it, his whole body going taut before he relaxed into the moment.

His hands found your hips, tentative at first, then firm, gripping you like he was afraid you might disappear.

When you pulled back, his lips chased yours for a heartbeat before he caught himself, his eyes fluttering open. He looked dazed, his chest heaving, his pupils blown wide as he stared at you.

You smiled softly, the sound of his uneven breathing filling the space between you.

Joel’s lips parted as if to speak, but before he could, you leaned in and kissed him again, slower this time. His groan was low and deep, the kind that seemed to come from the very center of him, vibrating through your chest.

His hands tightened on your hips, pulling you closer, his need unmistakable.

When your lips parted and your tongue brushed against his, Joel whimpered—a sound so desperate, so raw, it sent a rush of heat straight through you.

You couldn’t help but laugh softly into the kiss, and Joel’s grip faltered for a second, his lips pulling into a shaky smile against yours.

“Why’re you laughin’?” he asked, his voice rough, his forehead pressing against yours as he caught his breath.

“You’re eager,” you teased, your hands sliding to his shoulders, feeling the strength there. “It’s sweet.”

Joel groaned again, his cheeks flushing as his hands smoothed up your sides. “Can’t help it,” he admitted, his voice dropping lower. “You’re drivin’ me crazy, darlin’. Been thinkin’ about this for too long.”

His gaze dropped, and his eyes darkened as they settled on the curve of your breasts, visible through the gap in your blouse.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his hands twitching like he wanted to touch but didn’t dare without permission. “You’re perfect.”

You raised an eyebrow, tilting your head as you ran your fingers along his jaw. “Joel,” you said, your tone firmer now, and he immediately snapped his gaze back up to meet yours, his breath hitching. “What are you lookin’ at?”

His cheeks went even redder, but he didn’t look away.

Your lips quirked into a sly smile, and you reached up to unbutton the top of your blouse slowly, deliberately. Joel’s eyes tracked every movement, his throat working as he swallowed hard, his cock straining visibly against his jeans.

“You’ve healed up, huh?” you asked, your tone playful, and Joel nodded quickly, his hands shaking slightly.

“Barely feel it,” he murmured, his voice trembling with anticipation. “Please, darlin’. Please let me—”

You sighed dramatically, shaking your head as you pushed the blouse from your shoulders, revealing the smooth curve of your skin.

“Go ahead, Joel,” you said, your voice steady but laced with heat. “If you think you can handle it.”

Joel groaned, his hands finding your waist again, pulling you flush against him as his mouth crashed into yours.

His kisses were messy, desperate, his lips sliding against yours like he couldn’t get enough. His hands roamed your body, shaky but reverent, sliding up your ribs and hovering just below your chest.

“Eager little thing,” you murmured against his mouth, and Joel whimpered at the words, his hips pressing against yours as his arousal became undeniable.

“Can’t help it,” he breathed, his voice shaky and desperate. “Been wantin’ to get my mouth on you for so long. Wanna lick every inch of you. Fuck, those pretty nipples—been dyin’ to suck on ‘em, darlin’. Let me taste you, please.”

The way his voice cracked, the way he clung to you—it was enough to make your resolve waver. But you weren’t going to let him get off that easily. Not yet.

“Bed,” you whispered, pulling back just enough to guide him toward the bedroom. Joel followed without hesitation, his hands still on you, his body trembling with barely-contained need.

“Sit down, baby,” you murmured, your voice firm but teasing as you pushed him gently onto the mattress.

Joel sat immediately, lips wet and swollen from your kisses, his pupils blown wide as he stared up at you like you were a goddess he was desperate to worship.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his gaze flicking to your chest, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

You stepped between his legs, running your hands up his thighs, feeling the way they trembled under your touch.

“Is this what you’ve been dreamin’ about, Joel?” you asked, your voice low and sultry as you leaned in close. “Me, standin’ over you like this, lettin’ you look your fill?”

Joel groaned, his head tipping back as his hips jerked involuntarily. “Yes,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Every night, darlin’. I—fuck—I think about you all the time. Can’t stop.”

You smirked, running your hands higher until your fingers brushed against the hard, throbbing bulge straining beneath his jeans. Joel’s breath hitched, his hips lifting slightly as if to chase your touch.

“Bet you’ve been strokin’ that cock to the thought of me, haven’t you?” you purred, your nails scraping lightly along his thighs.

“Thinking about my tits, my mouth, wonderin’ what it’d feel like to have me all over you?”

Joel let out a broken whimper, his hands gripping the edge of the mattress as he nodded. “Yes,” he rasped, his voice thick with desperation. “Fuck, yes. I think about you all the time—Drives me crazy.”

You laughed softly, Joel’s eyes focused, his chest heaving as he took in the sight of you, his gaze zeroing in on your breasts, the way your nipples pebbled in the cool air.

You reached up, cupping your breasts and squeezing them lightly, your thumbs brushing over your nipples. “Wanna taste them, baby? Wanna feel my tits in your mouth?”

Joel groaned loudly, his hands clenching into fists as his cock strained painfully against his jeans. “Please,” he begged, his voice breaking. “Please, let me—fuck, let me taste them."

You smirked, stepping closer and guiding his hands to your hips. “Go on then, baby,” you murmured, leaning in until your chest was level with his face. “Show me how much you want it.”

Joel didn’t need to be told twice. His hands slid up to your waist, pulling you closer as his mouth latched onto one of your nipples with a desperate groan.

His lips were hot and eager, his tongue swirling over the sensitive bud before he sucked it into his mouth, his teeth grazing just enough to make you gasp.

“Fuck, that’s it,” you murmured, threading your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly. “Good boy, Joel. Just like that.”

Joel whimpered against your skin, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts, squeezing them gently as he switched to your other nipple. His tongue worked in slow, deliberate strokes, his lips tugging and sucking as if he couldn’t get enough.

“Finally” he muttered against your skin, his voice muffled but no less desperate.

You chuckled softly, grinding your hips against his lap, feeling the hard line of his cock pressing against your thigh. “You’re so needy,” you teased, your voice dripping with satisfaction. “Can’t even keep your hands to yourself, can you?”

Joel shook his head, his mouth still attached to your nipple as he let out a low, guttural moan. His hands slid down to your hips, gripping you tightly as he rocked against you, his cock throbbing beneath the rough denim of his jeans.

“Can’t help it,” he rasped, his voice hoarse. “You’re all I think about. All I want.”

You leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear. “Then be a good boy for me, Joel,” you whispered, your voice low and commanding. “Keep sucking.”

Joel groaned, his hands tightening on your hips as his lips moved back to your breast, sucking and licking with renewed fervor. His hips bucked against yours, his need spilling out in every touch, every sound.

“You like these, baby?” you murmured, cupping your breast and brushing your thumb over your wet, glistening nipples. “My sweet boy likes them, hm?”

Joel froze for a moment, his pupils dilating as the meaning of your words sank in. His hips bucked sharply, and he let out a strangled moan, his whole body trembling beneath you.

“Fuck, I-,” he groaned, his voice cracking as his head fell back against the headboard. “Shit, darlin’, I’m sorry—I can’t… I’m—fuck!”

You felt the unmistakable heat and dampness spreading as Joel’s hips jerked one last time, his moans spilling into the quiet room. His face flushed a deep red, his chest heaving as he realized what had just happened.

“Shit,” he muttered again, his voice thick with embarrassment as he covered his face with one hand. “I didn’t mean to… fuck, I’m so sorry. This is so stupid—”

“Joel,” you interrupted, your voice firm but soothing as you brushed his hand away from his face. “Look at me.”

He did, his eyes wide and vulnerable, his lips parted as he struggled to catch his breath. The sight of him—flushed, desperate, and utterly wrecked—only made you want him more.

“It’s okay,” you murmured, your lips curving into a wicked smile. “I’m flattered, baby. You just couldn’t help yourself, could you? Had to come in your pants for me.”

Joel let out a choked sound, his hips twitching involuntarily beneath you.

“I… fuck, darlin’, you make me crazy,” he admitted hoarsely. “Can’t stop thinkin’ about you. I need you. Please… let me make it up to you.”

Your smile widened, and you leaned down, brushing your lips against his ear. “Still wanna keep going, baby?” you whispered, your voice dripping with mock sympathy. “After you’ve already made such a mess?”

Joel nodded frantically, his hands gripping your hips like a lifeline. “Yes,” he rasped, his voice breaking. “I don’t think I ever wanna stop, ma’am. Please… let me taste you. I’ll be so good for you, I promise.”

You pulled back slightly, tilting your head as you studied him, your expression unreadable.

Then, slowly, you smiled, your fingers trailing down his chest. “Undress me,” you commanded, your voice soft but firm.

Joel flushed, his hands moving to your waist again. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your pants, his eyes flicking up to meet yours for permission.

You nodded, leaning back onto the bed as you let him guide the fabric down your legs, his touch careful but firm.

By the time your pants were off, you were sprawled out on the bed, your back resting against the pillows.

Joel knelt between your legs, his chest heaving as he stared down at you, his eyes drinking in every detail like he was trying to commit it to memory.

"You're beautiful," he said again, his voice breaking slightly as his fingers slid along the waistband of your panties.

Joel groaned low in his throat, his hands clumsy but desperate as he unbuttoned your pants and slid them down your legs.

He paused when he saw your panties, a visible wet spot already soaking through the fabric. His breath hitched, and he let out a shaky, “Fuck… look at that. So wet for me, darlin’. Goddamn.”

His hands trembled as he paused, glancing up at you for reassurance.

You smirked, one eyebrow arching as you propped yourself up on your elbows.

"Go on, baby," you murmured, your voice soft and encouraging. "You've got me all to yourself. Do what you've been dreaming about."

Joel’s hands hovered over your hips for a moment before he finally let them settle there, his thumbs brushing against the edge of your panties.

Joel settled between your legs like he was kneeling before an altar, his chest heaving and his fingers trembling as he slid along the waistband of your panties.

His eyes flicked up to yours, dark and wide with need, and you gave him the softest smile, threading your fingers into his hair as you gently tugged him closer.

“yeah, baby” you murmured, your voice dripping with encouragement.

His breath hitched, and he leaned down, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs.

He kissed you there, slow and reverent, his beard grazing your flesh and sending shivers through you. Each kiss was accompanied by a low, throaty groan, his lips moving steadily closer to the source of your heat.

“Jesus Christ,” he rasped, his voice breaking as he reached the edge of your panties. His nose pressed against the damp fabric, and he inhaled sharply, the sound guttural and desperate.

“Fuck, you smell so good, darlin’. Like heaven—sweet, wet heaven.”

His hands trembled as they gripped your thighs, holding you open as he buried his face against you, nuzzling and inhaling like he couldn’t get enough.

The rough fabric of his jeans rubbed against your calves, a sharp contrast to the warmth of his breath and the wet heat of his mouth against your panties.

“Been dreamin’ about this—about your sweet cunt for so fuckin’ long. Want it so bad, baby. Wanna taste you—wanna lick you, suck that pretty clit between my lips and drink you down till there’s nothin’ left.”

You moaned softly, your fingers threading through his hair and tugging gently, encouraging him.

“Yeah?” you whispered, your voice low and breathless. “You wanna eat me out, baby? Wanna show me how good that mouth of yours is? Then take them off.”

Joel knelt between your thighs, trembling as he slid your soaked panties down your legs.

He didn’t even try to hide the way his breath hitched when your cunt was fully exposed to him, glistening and perfect.

His chest rose and fell in quick, uneven breaths as he just stared for a moment, his lips parting like he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words.

“You just gonna look, Joel?” you teased, your fingers slipping into his hair and tugging gently. “Or are you gonna be a good boy and show me what you can do?”

That broke him. His head dipped instantly, his breath ghosting hot over your slick folds as he whispered, “Yes… yes, ma’am.” His voice was low, reverent, almost a prayer.

The first touch of his tongue was hesitant but deliberate, a slow drag from your entrance to your clit, as if he wanted to savor you.

He groaned into you, the sound muffled but deep, and then he leaned in further, pressing his mouth to your cunt like he couldn’t get close enough.

“Good boy,” you murmured, your voice soft but thick with pleasure. “Fuck, you’re so eager for it. Just like that.”

Joel didn’t answer—couldn’t answer.

He was too focused, his hands gripping your thighs to hold you open as he worked his tongue through every inch of your folds.

His breath hitched as he tasted you, his lips sealing over your clit for a moment to suck softly before his tongue returned to explore your entrance.

“Oh, baby,” you breathed, your hips arching slightly into his mouth. “You’re so fucking good at that. Look at you, so hungry for me. You love this, don’t you? Love worshipping my pussy.”

His only response was a desperate, muffled groan and moaning as he shifted his grip, spreading your thighs wider.

His nose pressed against your clit, and he rubbed it there as his tongue delved inside you, slow and deliberate, tasting you from the inside out.

His breathing was ragged now, warm puffs of air against your heat between each swipe of his tongue.

“Fuck yes,” he whispered hoarsely against you, his voice barely audible over the sound of his mouth working your cunt. “Fuck… taste so good. Yes. Yes, ma’am…”

You tugged his hair lightly, guiding him just where you wanted, and he followed without hesitation, his moans vibrating through your core.

His nose nudged your clit again, his tongue lapping at your entrance with long, languid strokes, and your moans filled the room, soft and breathy.

“That’s it,” you encouraged, your voice breaking slightly as he found just the right rhythm. “Such a good boy. Keep going, baby. Make me come.”

Joel groaned deeply, the sound muffled as he pressed his face impossibly closer to your core, his lips locking around your clit.

Each sound he made was guttural, desperate, like he was losing himself in the taste of you.

His hands gripped your thighs tightly, anchoring himself to you as his nose pressed against your folds, adding pressure in all the right places.

“Good boy,” you whispered, your voice trembling as you combed your fingers through his hair, guiding him exactly where you needed him. “Keep going, baby. Suck my clit just like that.”

Joel whimpered against you, the sound low and wrecked, and he obeyed without hesitation, sucking harder, his tongue darting out to flick over the swollen nub between pulls.

He groaned again, his hips shifting slightly as if he couldn’t help but grind against the mattress, completely undone by the act of pleasuring you.

Your breath hitched, your body trembling as the tension in your core tightened to an unbearable degree.

“Fuck, Joel—don’t stop. Don’t you fucking stop.”

He moaned louder at your words, his hands tightening on your thighs as he doubled down, his lips creating just the right amount of pressure while his tongue worked you mercilessly.

His nose nudged against your clit in rhythm with his sucking, the sensation pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

“Please,” he murmured against you between strokes, his voice trembling with need. “Wanna make you come, ma’am. Wanna feel you fall apart on my tongue.”

That was all it took. Your body tensed, your back arching as your orgasm slammed into you, waves of pleasure crashing through you so hard you couldn’t even form words.

Joel groaned against you, his tongue and lips relentless as he rode out your release, his moans vibrating through every sensitive nerve ending.

When you finally came down, your thighs trembling and your breath shaky, Joel slowly pulled back, his lips glistening and swollen, his face flushed and eyes glazed with pure adoration.

He looked like a man on his knees at the altar of a goddess.

“perfect,” he whispered, his voice wrecked, his gaze fixed on your blissed-out expression.

“Did I do good?” he asked quietly, his voice raw and hoarse.

You smiled, brushing your fingers over his cheek. “Better than good, baby,” you murmured. “Fuck.”

Joel’s eyes darted to yours, wide and full of something raw and pleading.

He leaned in again, his lips brushing against your inner thigh as he spoke, his voice trembling with need. “Please… can I keep goin’? Just a little more. I don’t wanna stop. Wanna taste you again, ma’am.”

His mouth found your clit in a featherlight kiss, his tongue flicking out experimentally, careful and reverent as though seeking permission.

His hands slid up your thighs, holding them open like you might change your mind.

“Joel,” you said, your voice soft but firm, your hand threading into his hair and tugging just enough to stop him. “No, baby. I wanna feel you now.”

Joel froze, his breath hitching, and he whined softly against your skin, the sound almost pitiful. “But—” he started, his lips pressing to your clit again in a desperate, fleeting kiss. “I can make you come again. Please, I—”

“Joel.” Your voice was sharper this time, not cruel but commanding. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, his lips glistening and his pupils blown wide. “You’ve been so good, baby, but I want you now. Don’t make me ask twice.”

The words sent a visible shudder through him. He hesitated for half a second before pulling back reluctantly, his lips parted as if to protest but no words came out. His hands lingered on your thighs, squeezing gently as he swallowed hard.

“Yes, ma’am,” he finally said, his voice low and hoarse, the respect and submission in his tone sending a fresh wave of heat through you.

He sat back on his heels, his eyes never leaving yours as he waited for your next command.

You leaned up slightly, cupping his cheek with one hand, your thumb brushing over his flushed skin. His lips were parted, breathless, as if he couldn’t quite believe this was happening.

“You’ve done so well, baby,” you murmured softly, letting your other hand trail down his chest. “But I need to see all of you. Let’s get this off.”

Joel’s breath hitched, his wide eyes locking onto yours as you reached for the buttons of his shirt. “Yes,” he whispered, the words shaky and reverent, like he couldn’t believe he was allowed this moment.

One by one, you undid the buttons, the fabric parting to reveal the broad expanse of his chest.

You slid the shirt off his shoulders, letting it fall to the bed as you sat back to admire him.

Your gaze swept over the planes of his body—the strong curve of his shoulders, the scars that marred his skin, the soft dusting of hair on his chest.

“Fuck, Joel,” you murmured, your voice full of heat and awe. “Look at you. You’re beautiful.”

His cheeks turned a deep red, and he looked away, swallowing hard. “Don’t know about that,” he mumbled, his voice low and unsure.

You leaned forward, your hands sliding over his chest, your thumbs brushing along the ridges of his scars.

“Oh, I do,” you purred, your tone leaving no room for argument. “You’re fucking perfect, Joel. Every inch of you.”

Your fingers grazed his nipples, and Joel froze, his breath catching audibly. The faintest shiver ran through his body, and he let out a soft, shaky, “Ma’am…”

You smirked, leaning in closer. “Sensitive, huh?” you murmured, circling the hardened peaks with your thumbs.

Joel let out a broken gasp, his hips jerking into the air as his hands gripped the sheets beneath him.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his voice low and desperate. “Didn’t… didn’t know I -.”

“You didn’t?” you teased, leaning down to press a soft kiss to one nipple before flicking your tongue over it. Joel’s reaction was instant—a guttural moan that sent a wave of heat straight through you.

“Sweetheart I-” he gasped again, his hands trembling as they hovered near your waist, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to touch you. “I—fuck, I—”

“Hush, baby,” you whispered, shifting to his other nipple and sucking it into your mouth.

Joel cried out, his head falling back against the pillows as his chest arched into your touch.

His hips bucked again, and you could feel how hard he was, straining against the confines of his jeans.

“Fuck,” he whimpered, his voice trembling. “I didn’t know… didn’t know I could feel this good. Please, don’t stop.”

You hummed against his skin, your tongue teasing over the sensitive bud before you nipped at it gently. Joel’s whole body jerked, a sharp gasp escaping his lips.

“You’re so sensitive, baby,” you murmured, sitting back to admire the way his chest heaved, his eyes wide and glassy. “Bet no one’s ever touched you like this before.”

Joel shook his head frantically, his hands gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles turned white. “No,” he breathed. “Never. Fuck, it’s—ma’am, it’s so good.”

You let your hands drift lower, tracing the sharp lines of his ribs and the soft curve of his stomach. Joel’s eyes fluttered shut, and he let out a shaky moan as your fingers teased the waistband of his jeans.

“You want more, baby?” you asked softly, your voice teasing and full of promise.

Joel nodded frantically, his voice barely above a whisper as he rasped, “Please… please, ma’am. Anything you want.”

You hooked your fingers into the waistband of his jeans, slowly pulling them down along with his underwear, your eyes drinking in the sight of him as he was finally exposed.

Joel’s cock sprang free, flushed and thick, the head an angry, swollen red and glistening with his earlier release.

Pearly streaks of cum had smeared down his shaft, pooling at the base and even dripping onto his balls. You let out a low hum of approval, your lips curling into a wicked smile.

“Such a mess,” you tutted, your voice thick with teasing affection. “You’ve really made quite the mess, baby.”

Joel’s chest heaved, his breath coming in shaky gasps as he avoided your gaze, his embarrassment clear. But his hips jerked slightly, almost involuntarily, at the heat in your voice.

“Aw, don’t get shy on me now,” you teased, your fingers curling gently around his cock, feeling the slickness of him against your palm.

“This is nothing to be embarrassed about. It just shows how much you need me.”

Joel whimpered, his voice breaking as he finally met your eyes. “I… I can’t help it,�� he admitted hoarsely, his voice trembling. “You make me—fuck—you make me crazy.”

Your thumb stroked up the length of his shaft, smearing the sticky remnants of his cum before circling the sensitive head.

“I know, baby,” you cooed, your voice softening just a touch. “And I love how desperate you get for me. Let me clean you up first, okay? Can’t leave my good boy all messy like this.”

Joel nodded frantically, his lips parting as a shaky moan escaped him. “Yes, ma’am,” he whispered, his voice thick with submission.

You leaned down, your tongue darting out to trace along the underside of his cock, starting at the base where his cum had pooled and slowly working your way up.

The taste of him was intoxicating, salty and musky, and you let out a quiet, pleased hum as you licked him clean. Joel’s entire body trembled beneath you, his hands gripping the sheets tightly as he struggled to stay still.

“Fuck,” he gasped, his voice barely above a whisper. “Ma’am… oh, fuck…”

You didn’t stop, your tongue swirling around the head of his cock, collecting every drop of his release before moving lower.

Your lips closed around one of his balls, sucking gently as your hand continued to stroke him, coaxing soft whimpers and gasps from his lips.

His thighs trembled, his breath hitching as you moved to the other, lavishing it with the same attention.

“You taste so good, Joel,” you murmured, your voice low and sultry as you pulled back slightly to admire your work. “Such a pretty cock, too. Look at you, all clean and perfect for me now.”

Joel moaned loudly, his head tipping back as his hands clenched the sheets even tighter. “You’re—fuck—you’re perfect,” he stammered, his voice cracking. “I don’t deserve this.”

You grinned, your fingers brushing along the length of his cock, your touch light and teasing.

“You deserve every bit of this,” you said firmly, your voice dipping into a commanding tone. “You’ve been such a good boy for me, haven’t you? Letting me take care of you like this.”

Joel’s hips jerked against your hand, his breath coming in short, ragged gasps as he nodded frantically.

“Yes,” he whispered, his voice trembling. “Yes, ma’am. Please… please don’t stop.”

You leaned in again, pressing a soft kiss to the tip of his cock, your tongue flicking out to tease the sensitive slit.

“You want more, baby?” you murmured, your voice dripping with seduction. “Want me to make you feel even better?”

Joel’s eyes fluttered open, his gaze locking onto yours as he nodded, his desperation palpable. “Please,” he rasped, his voice breaking. “I’ll do anything. Just… please let me feel you.”

You smiled, soft and knowing, before leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “Anything, huh?” you teased, your voice low and dripping with promise. “Then show me, Joel. Show me how much you want this.”

Joel’s hands trembled as he gripped your hips, helping you straddle him. His cock pressed against your slick heat, and he groaned deeply, the sound vibrating through both of you.

His eyes flicked between your face and where your bodies were about to join, his chest heaving with anticipation.

“Don’t make me wait,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and wrecked. “Please, ma’am. Let me feel you.”

You reached down, guiding him to your entrance, your breath hitching as you slowly sank down onto him.

The stretch was delicious, the thickness of him filling you completely, and you couldn’t help the moan that spilled from your lips.

“Fuck, Joel,” you gasped, your hands bracing on his chest. “You feel so good, baby. So big—.”

Joel’s head fell back against the pillows, his lips parted as a choked moan escaped him.

“Goddamn,” he muttered, his voice shaky. “You’re so tight, so fuckin’ perfect. Feels like heaven, darlin’. I—fuck—I can’t believe this.”

You rocked your hips slowly, letting yourself adjust to the feel of him before setting a steady rhythm.

Joel’s hands gripped your waist, his fingers digging into your skin as he bucked up to meet you, his movements desperate and hungry.

“Good boy,” you murmured, your voice low and commanding as you leaned over him, your lips brushing against his ear. “That’s it, Joel. Let me take care of you. Let me give you what you need.”

Joel whimpered beneath you, his hips stuttering as he clung to you.

“You’re… you’re so fuckin’ good to me,” he rasped, his voice cracking with emotion. “The way you—fuck—the way you handle everything. The way you handle me.”

You tilted your head, studying him with soft affection as your hips moved steadily against his.

“Finally can let go, hm?” you murmured, your tone soothing yet commanding. “Yeah? Let me take care of you, Joel. You don’t have to worry so much.”

Joel’s eyes squeezed shut, his breath hitching as his hands slid up to cup your waist, holding you like you were his lifeline.

“Fuck,” he moaned, his hips bucking harder into you. “I—I worry about you, darlin’. But… but it’s an honor to. Always an honor.”

Your heart clenched at his words, and you leaned down to kiss him deeply, swallowing the desperate sounds spilling from his lips.

His thrusts grew erratic beneath you, his chest heaving as he neared the edge.

Joel’s hands gripped your waist tighter, his fingers digging into your skin like he was afraid to let go.

His breath came in short, ragged bursts, and his hips moved with a frantic rhythm beneath you, desperate and unrelenting. Each thrust sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, your body moving in perfect sync with his.

“You’re so fucking good, Joel,” you murmured against his lips, your voice heavy with affection and desire. “So perfect, baby. Keep going—don’t stop.”

His head tipped back, exposing the vulnerable curve of his throat, a choked moan escaping his lips.

“I—I can’t—fuck, darlin’,” he gasped, his voice trembling with raw emotion. “You feel so goddamn good. Can’t… can’t hold on much longer.”

You cupped his face, bringing his gaze back to yours, your thumb brushing over his flushed cheek.

“You don’t have to hold on,” you whispered, your voice a soothing command. “Let go for me, Joel. Let me feel you.”

Joel’s eyes widened, his pupils blown, and his hips snapped up into you with desperate force.

“You’re—God, you’re everything,” he groaned, his voice breaking as his hands slid up your sides, trembling as they roamed over your body. “Everything, darlin'. Don’t wanna stop… don’t wanna lose this.”

“You’re not gonna lose anything,” you reassured him, your own voice breathy and uneven as you rocked against him harder, the friction pushing you closer to your own edge. “I’m here, Joel. Always. Now, give it to me, baby.”

Joel’s body tensed, his back arching off the bed as a guttural moan tore from his throat.

“Fuck!” he cried, his hands gripping your hips as his release hit him, his cock pulsing inside you with a heat that sent you spiraling.

The intensity of his climax triggered your own, your body tightening around him as waves of ecstasy crashed over you.

Your cries mingled with his, the room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure, raw and unrestrained.

Joel’s hips stuttered beneath you, his movements slowing as he rode out the last shuddering waves of his orgasm. His hands loosened their grip on your hips, sliding up to cradle your back as he pulled you down against his chest, holding you close.

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the only sounds in the room your labored breathing and the faint rustle of the sheets. Joel’s fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin, his chest rising and falling beneath you as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“You’re… you’re incredible,” he murmured, his voice hoarse but filled with awe. “I don’t deserve you, darlin’. Don’t deserve any of this.”

You lifted your head, brushing your lips against his with a tenderness that made his breath hitch. “You deserve it all, Joel,” you murmured, your voice steady but warm. “Every damn bit. You’re good to me—you’re good for me.”

Joel’s eyes searched yours, shining with an emotion he couldn’t quite name but didn’t want to hide. His arms tightened around you, his lips brushing your forehead in a lingering, reverent kiss.

"Now rest up. We’ve got work to do.”

· · ───

From then on, you and Joel became Jackson’s most formidable pair. Whether it was managing patrols, handling disputes, or protecting the town, people knew better than to question the two of you. Joel was your rock, steadfast and loyal, while you were the sharp, commanding presence that kept everything moving forward.

He was at your side for every decision, every challenge, always watching your back—and stealing those quiet moments when it was just the two of you. Joel wore his pride in you like a badge, unspoken but deeply felt, in the way his gaze lingered and his touch steadied you.

And every night, as the world outside grew dark, you both found solace in each other—a partnership built on trust, strength, and the kind of love that didn’t need words to be understood.

Joel always said it best in his own way: “Ain’t nothin’ in this world I wouldn’t do for you, darlin’. Always.”

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

I am not beta reading all of that so if y'all find any errors tell me or ignore them like I did the past 22 years. Hope this was fun for you - please comment your opinions (plsplspls). I kinda feel like this is too long idk-

love youuuuuu

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