#jks i took school very seriously and i think i just didnt have time which is a shame :/

[husbo-venus]

stawwwp i just found my old wordpress 😭😭

[fmdxjerome]

hello people from old and new! naomi is back in action with her son jerome. i’ve been stuck in my sisters house for the last weeks of my absence because she went on vacation and i had to take care of a sick rabbit who peed everywhere. i might have a disease now at the amount he bit me but what can you do. im joking. you might ask “but naomi doesnt your sister have wifi” yes she do but i’m an anxious wreck so spending my days on a first floor apartment  with my sister on the other side of the world w an infected foot had me fucke d upppp boiii but now i’m back in my own home and my sister + her boyfriend are safely home!! foot all fine!! and everyone is calm again!! so!! i can return with a good heart. i’ll be sliding in the dms of the people who bear emoticon’ed me 600 years ago and bc i suck w introducing myself to new people i’ll just hi!!!!! i think when i wake up i’m gonna do a “bio reading” marathon as i write bc i need to appreciate. also shit i need more threads wow i suck might see me replying to some open starters and def need to get back to plotting bc there are some people i’ve been dying to thread with ;^;

its like 6am now so i might b heading 2 bed now but under the cut there will be a reintroduction to jerome (one i promised in januari i believe) as im rewriting his bio (no major things change really its just minor things nd its time for an upgrade) so yes! hello (ims will come tomorrow as well ;3;)

also fact. mullet daddy jaebum is jerome rn dont drag him dont @ him its gone before you know it. probs after idolized its a look tho wow i love- a chic farmer (... the short bangs are tragic tho jerome honey i kno u liked them on wren but ur not wren. jerome: but i- me: no. this this not this jerome: :( ok fine me: fuego 

anyway before i pass out here is reintroduction. the triggers are; adoption, racism themes??? like yeah ok!! apologize if this is shit. hope everyone is having a good day though you all are great!

Jerome Gauthier aka Yuddy

-Anti idol

-Has an okay reputation but that’s because he’s smart about things.

-BC eyeing him tho *eyes fake friends with good reputation for him to hang out with* (hmu for fake friend plots. funny the person w the best rep of all actually likes jerome. bless jisoos christ. guess that praying on knees worked out in the end huh jerome. /dont/ sainthood is waiting)

-Talented™. (ask him to write songs for you) (Actually have a few songs in my library i want him to write but not sing so *eyes*)

-Passionate as fuck don’t mess with him in the studio (passionate all over tbh)

-Adopted and in search of his bloodlines

-Hoe but not really

-Actually, scrap that. Nicknames him JerHOEme

-Is actually lovely

-But acts like a shit

-Slips up and is soft to people sometimes before being a complete and utter asshole the next second

-bc soft jerome whOMST i only know deMON

-Suave Fuckboy who’s nonchalant about everything

-French™

-Will call you baby at some point in your life

-Signature smirk

-Egotistic???? Narcissistic??? a lil bit don’t stroke his ego

-Secretive™. not much info on his time in france

-Secretly a dad without children (except for his actual biological son insoo aka chorizo sausage who he goes to play ball with- i mean work on songs in the studio. seriously catch him picking up his son from soccer practice i mean shit no i mean- ok insoo is really his son dont fight me on this.)

-And also has a daughter an Oriental shorthair cat called Edith who he is so soft with he kicks out girls to cuddle with her. (one meow and he’s home)

- we support WISH hating jerome in this household. please people who have girls in WISH dont let them like him (or be a rebel and go against the mothers wishes but you’ve been warned)

-Dont let him get in your pants too like ask wren you dont want that (or i mean with the list of kinks i peeped maybe idk who am i to say what your muse wants or does not want idk im just protecting people from satan)

-Unlikely he’ll get in any pants now anyway tho bc he a proud shopper at papa juliens pizza and y’all some other brand type ish domino lookin asses NAH *throws hands up* rome’s in the house (no but guys. this is his soulmate THIS IS HIM. dISgUStiNG- )

-In 2016 interview took him out of context and it looks like he hates all idol rappers but is not true. He just doesn’t like companies making rap out to be like this thing you can do if you’re pretty and you can’t sing and he doesn’t like it when said pretty idols know nothing of it. he gets the grind but will side eye (benjy nd jerome already have a rivalry bc of this shit thank u interviewer)

-Dating scandals?? EHH. He almost had one with a Japanese model called Momo in the beginning of his career but BC did well of spinning them as friends and he legit had one with his ex last october which?????????? shit she touched his *spoiler* and it was *spoiler* . BC about to ban him from fashion shows damn. yoonah and him have to go to paris fashion week quick

-BC has yet to force him into a relationship tho. but damn he gonna be angry when that ever happens yoo. 

-Studied to become a cinematographer. Now is annoying as fuck during recording MV’s bc he butts into everything (BUT thats why his his mvs so AESTHETIC. eye for beauty bois)

-Holler at ya boi if you want a nice mv he’s involved like that

-Also to the girls who have been in an MV with Jerome.. know he probably flirted with you between takes bc during he’s grade a professionalism but he still a ho

-Actual catlady no questions asked (he feeds stray cats and gets cut up by edith when she smells other cats on him rip)

-Actual wife material no questions asked (to quote the great Halit Yilmaz during that time Jerome stood in the kitchen for hours making baklava and other Turkish treats for Halit’s Eid al-Fitr: “Shit, Jerome if you were a girl i’d marry you in a heartbeat.” and its true. we would ALL marry jerome. who says no is lying. )

-Smooth™

-Ok the ego thing btw its weird its an act but hes weird about it dont ask

idk what else to write ok short rundown of his bio as again i’m writing a new one and i cringe every time i look at my old one. im probs forgetting a lot but EYO ITS 6AM WHO CARES

CHILDHOOD age 0 to 10

-Born to a single mom who got fucked over by a smash nd dash dad. (we side eye Ok Chanwook in this household.)

-Moms family discouraged her from taking care of him herself so putting up for adoption it is.

-Very emotional not ok mom boram cry a lot pls. (got v angry too like boi if she ever sees chanwook again he can change his name to no dick larry)

-Adopted by a French couple called Lucas and Daphné (previously named Annelies). pretty kool peeps

-JK racist assholes who fetishize jerome a lot. PLEASE. the yellow fever runs deep. take him away from them,

-Raised in a small town in France and knew 0 Asians growing up. so thats nice

-Loves his adoptive grandpa to death tho (who’s he named after u3u)

-Actually hates the rest lol

-Ok uncle Rémy pretty cool bc he laughs at teen!Jerome shit talking his parents and aunt Camille. She a sweety ;3; a bit odd but a sweety #stanauntCamille

-Basically the people on the Gauthier side and born from Jerome and Clemintine are ok, the rest is shit (except for his dad Lucas. He a Gauthier but he shit)

-Junior/Senior relationship w granpda ;3; “Pépé!!” “Junior!!” *tiny jerome swings around grandpa’s neck* LOVE

-Grandma passed when he was 9. (he loved her very much and would always show her his drawings on her bed ;-;)

-Hard time adjusting at first when he was a tiny toddler. had a lisp talking french. ;3; baby rome

-young jerome had a bad case of the abandonment issues he literally held onto his dads leg for like 30 minutes before the teacher finally peeled him away from him. my smol boi

-Elephants. remember this. is important. /sob

-TLDR; biological mom didnt want to loose him. adoptive parents and dad are fucks. grandpa is kool. jerome had a good childhood until he didnt. thank u ignorance

TEEN YEARS age 10 to 20

-middle school very nice

-j FUCKING KKKKK EMO JEROME INBOUNDDDD

-kids are mean. teens are mean. young!jerome v lonely

-honestly he had no friends. except for like maybe this one kid on his sport called mattheo but he kinda a weeb so uhhhh ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-the time comes that he feels uncomfortable with everything korean. he already learned korean along side french and english when he was growing up but now distances himself from further learning. he clings to french culture a lot and even to this day he refers to himself as french and european, and rarely refers to himself as korean or asian.

-feels disconnected from both though. its like.. his parents took his korean culture away from him by using it for their own amusement. it was not his to have basically. and french- a lot of people around him give the vibe he’s not “allowed” to call himself fully french. they see him as korean, korean-french but never just french. he feels very misunderstood. lack of identity and just not fitting in

-around this time (or earlier i’m musing still) his cousin Antonin (moms side) kind of fell out on him. like. wow. not good. fucked jerome up a lil. (issues intensify)

-inferiority complex inbound/ is he ok? no he isnt. he starts writing to get his emotions out.

-Blessed Freddy rolled in teen jerome’s life like: guess we need to do history homework together jerome: aren’t you gonna make a ‘do my homework bc you’re asian’ joke freddy: why would i jerome:

-they bond over music, freddy is the one who gets him serious about getting into it (we thank our lord freddy for this gift of life we call singer/songwriter jerome. pray to freddy 10 times a day *srry jisoos christ but ur out*)

-literally young jerome would be a great soundcloud artist in this day and age. he was like joji meets rei brown with more of an rnb tinge. he liked ambient because it calmed him.

-in his old bio thats still up bc im a slow writer his old name was some dumb shit like l.only DUMB its romeles now (get it.. jeROME LESlie gauthier. im smart)

-OK IM GONNA GO QUICKER NOW

-eMO FOR A LONG TIME BC OF LONELINESS AND OTHERING FREDDY IS HIS BEACON OF HOPE WE LOVE FREDDY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD!!!!!!!

-had a big ass fall out with his parents when he was around 15? was like “UHHH FUCK Y’ALL” and moved in with his grandpa (he was very disrespectful like damn boy but you know what. i support)

-best decision of his life because grandpa v lonely after his wife died and Jerome^2 is… so soft.

-Jerome dancing/singing to old tunes and being engrossed with old movies

-Learning how to cook ;3;

-I mean bc his middle and highschool were in Laval he spend a lot of his time w his grandpa already so he already had a bed and ;-; #jerome^2

-Halit rolls into his life. Braces, huge smile, lil prepubescent stash ohmygod. My child.

-BLANC is born. Freddy/Jerome/Halit’s musical trio. Stan the Three Musketeers

-Found his first best friend and a purpose in Freddy. Found a home in Halit. (sob)

-Finds solace in rnb and hiphop. People start noticing him because of it. Writes songs and performs them in café’s. Found his niche. 15 to 19 where his “best”  years

-THE BIG MOVE. After a concerned halit mom, a proud freddy mom and a “WHAT THE FUCK JEROME NO DONT GO” jerome mom they pack their bags and PARIS HERE WE COME

-Enter ex who haunts his life, Seo Yumi aka Marie (now model, v pretty, makes me cry)

-Spots her in the summer doing yoga in the park and boi he an assman so he got fucked up (jk he saw her face and was like wHAT love at first sight

-enrolls in film school, meets her there again and wow falls in love hard like wow calm down boy

-Dating~~~v possessive not good at ALL cALM DOWN JEROME

-ok he got his issues nd marie was the first one who openly listened to his problems and understood and made him appreciate his korean heritige bc she’s korean and showed him cultural aspects without the gross fetishizing that came with his parents and he just- he got intense ok. he already got a v intense personality so- still not good tho he needs to dial it down

-she thought so too and like after a year she was !!!! what the fuck. she is not one for serious relationships but jerome was like ehhh why not in the beginning its v nice to hear nd be seen as the most beautiful ok but then it got suffocating but instead of breaking up with him she kept him around. he a safe haven ya know. reliable. someone to built on later. *i wanna say she also didnt break up w him because his emo stories but marie,,, eh...* (funny tho like she got a thing for bad boys so she just “this is the fifth time you called me beautiful just degrade me lil like choke me idk” and jerome just “w-why would i do that you’re beautiful i dont want to hurt you” ah *looks into the future* ohhowthetableshaveturned.mp4 )

-Marie cheated on him the second she got the chance which was when jerome went to america w his bros

-Got offered a job as a songwriter when in ny. Wouldnt think he’d take it but after getting kicked out of school for beating the shit out of the guy marie cheated on him with and with marie out of the picture nothing held him back from starting a new life.

-TLDR; emo era. silver era. emo era 2 emo harder

ADULTHOOD age 20 to now

-Seoul make way for the rise of YUDDY™

-the name yuddy is from the film days of being wild. the character is kinda yuddy-ish too so he saw the film again and yep. thats my name

-Fuck_love.mp3

-Visits his orphanage. they like “nah boi u aint got no papers boi”

-Parents can give him access to his birthmother btw, aren’t doing it lol

-EMO

-Drinks. Sleeps around. Gets a reputation. You kno how it is. (gr8 ride tho. highly recommend. 5 out of 5 stars on yelp)

-SMASH ND DASH. Chanwook is that u??????

-One girl who he got with multiple times reminded him of Marie tho and that fucked him up for a bit (PSST ITS A PLOT WINK SO IF YA GIRL OF AGE IN THE 2013′S HMU BC ITS DRAMATIC HE GHOSTED THE SHIT OUT OF HER)

-Writes a lot of songs, a few for BC (knight baes). BC like *eye emoji* who dat boi who him iz

-Gets sign w BCreate and is like eyy life pretty good

-but lmao he debut and oh who’s that pretty girl promoting that lipstick?? oh.. its marie ;3;

-imfine.jpeg

-Joins main label and literally joins w a blessing stream limbo on spotify

-wgm era was a great era of jerome lmty his hair was great, shared cute personal things, manager was happy, slept with his best friend, was married to a sweet beautiful girl ya know the good stuff  👍 no im not crying you are

-triple fantasy era was awful we dont talk about that he looked like his brother and i’m still emotional about him wow. 

-instagram is a great song

-Interviewer: u mention an ex in ur song tell me more Jerome: *SWEATS*  

-Marie: my short hair DOES look pretty thank u babe ur red hair was cute too <3<3

-The fact she linked to him now is spook

-But ok he still flirty, still daring, still yuddy™ but definitely less of the whole “sleeping around” thing now bc he… he uhh closetoyou.mp3

TLDR; he turned into his dad but romeo is rising AND HE IS SCARED!!!!!

also never forget jerome is the messiest king in this ok non y’all are as messy as him. he fucked his ex’s friend oK THERE IS NOTHING MORE MESSY. dONT COME FOR HIS CROWN

[gorsime]

ill delete this soon

bad cop hogwarts au

@pouncival

points to cover: houses, prefect stuff, meetings, classes, Naughty Stuff, other cats, pets, life after hogwarts, quidditch >:((, HYDRATION, teachers, uhhhhh and anything else i can think of

HOUSES: rumples a gryffindor. the sorting hat took about three seconds. alonzos a hufflepuff even tho his family have always been ravenclaws and he desperately wanted to be a gryffindor, he cried after the sorting ceremony also: jenny is huffpuff head, skimble is p much hagrid, jelly is raven, gus is gryffdor and grizabella is slytherin,,, headmaster deuteronomy lmao

PREFECT STUFF: alonzos a prefect. Obviously, i mean come on. he takes it so seriously,,, hes already dating rumple when he becomes one and she delights in the fact that he can sometimes b persuaded to let her go with a warning bc yo thats what u get for fucking a prefect,,, once she wanted to get in ravenclaw tower and she didnt know the answer to the riddle so she was like "LONZYYY I HAVE A RIDDLE THAT I NEED TO FIND THE ANSWER TO FOR HOMEWORRKKKKK" and hes a library fiend so he spent like an hour looking it up and then he told her and she was like "ok thanks im going off 2 ravenclaw tower now" and he was so distraught he took ten points from hufflepuff for helping her. the other prefects Donut Understand their relationship ghdkhgd bc mungo and rumple r worse than fred and george but eventually it gets to the point where they catch her doin some rulebreaking and shes like... do u seriously feel like dealing with me so they just go get alonzo. she gets drunk on firewhisky one time and he takes her back up to gryffindor tower and spends ten minutes trying to get the fat lady to let her in but the fat lady is annoyed and refusing and it goes like "rumple tell her the password" "nooOooOoOooOo" "do you know the password" ">:3c" "rumple teLL HER THE PASSWORD" for another half hour and eventually gives up and decides to wait for the next gryffindors to come along and let her in but the next one to come along is mungo and then its twice as bad when alonzo becomes head boy (munk is the year above them) he cries, and rumple opens her letter like I GOT HEAD GIRL??!!!!????? and hes like. What. and shes like hehehehehe just kidding who the fuck do u think i am,, also. prefects bathroom. he ends up letting her find out the password and then shes constantly in there and then Somehow (i wonder how) mungo finds out and then they have to change it before the whole school knows,,, oh my god the other prefects tease him so much and at first hes like eh..heh...yeah but after a while hes like fuck off please, stop shittalking my girlfriend to me, and he gets a wee bit defensive about it so they give up especially in their final year when hes head boyyyy

QUIDDITCH: OKAY so alonzo wanted to play quidditch as a seeker bc ofc he did right?? i mean theres so many rules. such nice uniforms. but he never made the tryouts bc he wasnt willing to take the risks needed to get the golden thingy (also, vitiligo, hes got autoimmune shit and he has 2 b careful w his health),,, rumple however. rumples grown up loving the harpies and desperately wanting to be a beater. then she meets mungo and the two of them are fucking terrifying beaters, they are So Good, its honestly the only reason why gryffindor hasnt lost the house cup every fucking year, them helping win p much every game kind of balances out all the points they lose for being shits lmao,,, we had a thought that she gets hurt sometime in a game, and alonzo is. so terribly smothering he brings in all his books to study by her bed in the hospital wing and takes notes for her and is way too cautious after that and begs her to stop playing and she just. Looks at him. :| anyway she does eventually become quidditch captain nyehehe and so shes captain, hes head boy, they are a glorious power couple,,, the nerds love alonzo, the delinquents and sportheads love rumple, together they are So Respected,, it also means she gets actual access to the prefects bathroom which changes very little except for how sneaky she has to be to get in

MEETINGS: okay so in true hogwarts au fashion they first meet on the train as first years,,, rumple: hi can i sit here (she says as shes sat down) are u muggleborn im a halfblood alonzo: im from an old wzarding family my name is draco malfuck you rumple: wow u sound like an asshole. what house r u gonna be in. im gryffindor alonzo: me too rumple: u dont seem like one alonzo: you do :// rude fuck. this is my owl her name is aegolius im pretentious rumple: cool name. this is my cat her name is gwynog GO HARPIES alonzo: ive never had physical contact with a living thing in my life can i pet her rumple: sure alonzo: soft anyway after they get sorted they never talk again. End Of Au. jks but forreal they dont talk for years until they get their electives and theyre partnered in care of magical creatures and finally talk again and it goes like rumple: hey youre that kid who cried at the sorting ceremony alonzo: rumple: sup somehow the whole Falling In Love part is the one bit we havent really talked about but it happens and its cute

id also like to add that alonzos parents are an old italian wizarding family but they pride themselves on being chic, modern wizards who incorporate certain muggle things, mostly fashion, his mums a fashion designer, so all his clothes are beautiful and tailored and more Modern than most,, ANYWAY they also Want The Best for him and when he tells them who hes dating (A HALFBLOOD RAISED AMONG MUGGLES??? A GIRL BEATER???? LOOK AT HER SCHOOL RECORDS DARLING SHES A DELINQUENT!!!!!!) and they refuse to let him stay at her house or let her come over,,, until he writes home one day like. shes captain of the quidditch team what more do u want shes going to do it professionally) and theyre Sporty Folks who are So Fucking Into Quidditch and by this point theyve realised that she's not turning him into a Bad Kid so they finally accept her

CLASSES: ive forgotten like all of their classes kmn anyway alonzo wants to be an auror. thats all he wants. thats his ambition. so he studies his ass off from day one and gets perfect grades and is a model student. rumple is. perhaps not. just think fred and george thats her and mungo, shes a terror but somehow she still manages to pass everything through an annoying natural talent. alonzos kind of hellbent on making her get good grades and they spend much of their time in the library, hes in there Every Day, he pretty much has a reserved table, rumple sits around practicing jinxes on any unfortunate passerbys and trying to pester him and/or make him kiss her he loves presentations, hes so good at them, he prepares for weeks and then the entire time rumples in the back of class making Naughty Gestures. he chokes on his water when she does presentations theyre short but shes really charismatic so he just kind of sits there staring at her like an idiot because gosh she has a nice voice rumples a pro at brooms obviously, alonzos Hella Nervous on them, he has the best and safest model, she offers to give him private lessons but really its just an opportunity for dick jokes what can u do. he gets her a really good really SAFE and fast broom for christmas one year bc what else does a rich boy get his girlfriend who kicks ass at quidditch which brings me to

NAUGHTY STUFF: kittens look away! look for like. a full three months hes like Im Not Having Sex At School Its Against the rRULES!!!!!! and rumples like. well then we either abstain until we graduate or we can do it at your parents place and. No. The Horror. he changes his mind very quickly. they happen to stumble across the room of requirement a few times when.uh. the need is great. u know how it goes. im also gonna go out on a limb and admit that alonzo is rather fond of the Luxury Baths in the prefects bathroom and rumple is very good at catching him when hes in there and enchanting the door or some shit so nobody disturbs them :-)) this is from one of those hogwarts au headcanon posts but i love it, he gives a presentation on sex ed and shit (lets pretend hogwarts is better than it is) and rumple sits in the back asking the worst questions and inside he wants to scream u KNOW what that is we did it last nIGHT

other cats: yes ok here we go. in their year is misto, victoria, admetus, mungo, coricopat, tantomile and im sure im missing people here, year above them  is munk, tugger, deme, bomba, cassandra, macavity (???!!!???) and everyone else is younger by a year or two, also worth mentioning is etcetera being rumples younger sister and theyre adorable and lovely etcetera for president of the world munk and cass or deme are probably head boy and girl of their year,  cass is dating tantomile, bombas dating demeter, alonzo has the biggest crush on munk as well (optional polyamory for u fucks) (worth saying that the reason rumple went to sneak into ravenclaw tower was to see victoria btw),,, alonzo and victoria are head boy and girl of their year, and probably jemima andddddddd idk maybe g eorge fuck me man idk admetus is another prefect, so's tantomile tbh,,, id say victoria but she wants to focus on her studies

PETS: alonzo has this beautiful eagle owl, scariest of all owls, her name is aegoleius (pronounced ay-JEE-lee-us) it means bird of prey and he adores her. shes beautifully trained. rumple has a kitty that im personally in love with who is basically rumpleteazer as a cat lol shes a calico but her name is gwenog after the famous beater of the harpies <33333 eventually they'll get another cat thatll be a suspiciously familiar black and white patched triangle shorthair named Faolan (sorta like FWAY-larn) even tho it means little wolf because he thought it sounded cool and he read it in a book and thought it was pronouned faow-lahn, honestly they probably end up getting a whole ton of cats

LIFE AFTER HOGWARTS: WOO im excited for this bit. okay. so. alonzo wants to be an auror. hes spent his whole life training for this. he immediately applies after graduation and gets in and starts his rigorous three year training process. in the meantime rumples gone into professional quidditch, and shes really really good at it but shes like.... this isnt fun anymore. bc its not just a school game anymore, its a professional sport, and what do u mean u cant jinx the opponents!!!! so for a while she just helps him train "ok so if you walk like THIS and use this charm your footsteps will be totally silent blah blah boh my god i should be an auror" and hes like. You. want to be an auror. and shes like. Yup. and its a damn good thing he was so obsessive about her getting good marks bc her newts are good enough that she can apply. they do a criminal record check, but mind u that altho rumples done naughty stuff, shes never actually. Been Caught doing anything particularly bad. so her record is somehoW CLEAN and she gets in. its a miracle. "what did you do. who did you blackmail" "i sucked every single aurors dick lonzy" "HOW DID YOU GET IN" "EVERY! SINGLE! DICK!" but hes also really really prouD AND THAT MEANS THEY CAN HELP EACH OTHER TRAIN!!!!! cue training montage. rumple pulls a tonks and coasts thru a lot of it rlly easily and almost fails some but they both eventually graduate and become aurors and work together and she covers her trenchcoat in patches and he keeps asking if he has to wear his because sweet jesus it is ugly ITS BROWN, and at this point his parents r more than content with rumple lmao, anyway they live together in a lovely little house that is kept in perfect order, rumple enchants EVERYTHING to talk, its cute, fucking domestic shit yes please

HYDRATION LOL look this isnt even important but alonzo is so deeply into that health shit. he only eats dark chocolate, and most importantly he fucking loves spending time in the kitchen with jenny. she cooks, he makes custom face masks, and also infused water. so much infused water. he has different """recipes""" and he always has a bottle of lovely chilled water with fucking apple and ginger and lemongrass shit in it that he made the night before, and since rumple fucking hates drinking anything thats not tropical sunshine punch fruit juice he constantly is trying to figure out a recipe of infused water that she'll drink becUSE ITS NOT HEALTHY RUMPLE!!!!!!!! YOU NEED WATER, but she thinks its disgusting and eventually he gives up and carries a bottle of juice with him in case he sees her because its better than nothing,

yeah ok im,,,,, i assume there will be more to come but for now this is what u get

[viewofsal]

Alrighty. EFF IT- LIFE UPDATE POST!

Soooo a lot of good things have been happening in my life. I know from my posts I sound bitter, sad, heartbroken, blah blah but its been a rough time in my life and I’m finally understanding and accepting my life, my lessons, my blessings, my mistakes and experiences. *Someone told me recently my blog is very raw* but I like to keep it real and what not, plus no one knows me on here lol i have followers from all over the US to international countries as well. Also I feel like I haven’t done an “intro” about myself in a long time.. I think since I’ve started blogging so what the hell…. this is going to be long but hey whatever!

Intro!-

Hey guys! Im Salia Sheikh, 25 (old af, jk!), I look younger than my age (thanks to good genes lol), I am still in school, pursuing a career in Business. I love to read, write (duh I have a blog for a reason!), paint, work out, try new food, BIG FOOD JUNKIE, binge watch amazing shows on Netflix (bae for life), I love the color purple and blue. If school wasnt so damn expensive and I didnt have a timelime (being brown aint fun… sometimes) I would definitely get a degree in business of course, dermatology and psychology. I love learning new things and expanding my mind. I come off as a bitch sometimes to people because of the way my face can be… AKA RESTING BITCH FACE. But honestly its just me observing and understanding how people think and work. I know I am a weirdo but whatever! Humans are so freaking interesting. Oh did I mention I live in PNW!? Seattle. <3 Rain city lol. If I could live anywhere else it would be California, Chicago or New York. Anywho enough about me… lets get into the juicy stuff right?

This summer I had a lot going on! I was at the doctors a lot, i went through a lot exams for my breast cancer and it was a very rough time… but I got through it. Alhumdulillah I have such amazing friends and family to support me and were there for me. Along with that,  I went through a very harsh break up and I know that a few posts below this one I went off on my ex FJ, but in this post Im not going to bash on him or anything. Honestly…. my tumblr isnt made to bash on anyone. I wouldnt want to be talked about on the internet but sadly… it happens. So anyways, I went through a rough heart break that honestly I dont blame anyone but myself and because of this heartbreak I am beyond hard on myself with a lot of things but especially guarding my heart, my feelings and letting anyone in. I was told by someone that I wore my heart on my sleeve and that I took this relationship too seriously. Its true, I was madly and crazy in love with him but he wasnt. I would push and force him to make it work but when the other person doesnt see any solution or anything to fix it, you should really just back off Sally. One person cant do all the work, it becomes so draining. I literally have so much love to give but at the same time Im just kind of tired, exhausted, bitter and numb. Its weird because I just said Im full of love but at the same time a heart break really gets you guarded. But you know this was a lesson for myself, to not get ahead of yourself, dont have expectations and if you arent getting what you deserve please walk the fuck away, like ASAP. Just abort lol. Because at the end of the day as hurt as I was, I made myself go through hell because I chose to be like very stupid, LIKE VERY. But at the same time, I take it as a blessing in disguise in many ways and a lesson I would love to teach my daughters and possibly sons. Anywho… along with this I was in school UGH, but because I have a goal and I am so motivated I didnt let it affect my school at all. One thing I did do in the past was let such little things like this get in the way of my focus in school and at the end of the day my dreams and career will be right next to me but the person whos temporary will not be. I will not sacrifice my school for anything. This summer I went to Atlanta with all of my cousins and we had so much fun! And then I came back and attended another wedding. It was a lot of chaos but a lot of fun. I come from a very huge family on both sides, and if youre brown you know three day weddings are HECTIC AS HELL! But I gotta say it was a roller coaster type summer.

Once all of the wedding shenanigans were over and all of my cousins flew back to the East Coast and I started school again. After my break up I really started focusing on my mental health, focusing on school, having a better relationship with my parents (its been a rough road but alhumdulillah I am so blessed with such amazing parents. esp my mom helping me a lot through my break up and all .) I didnt even think about talking to any guys or whatever it was literally not even in my head because I was so focused on myself. But a little birdie out of the blue and into my life for a short time but a sweet time. HA is literally every brown girls dream man. A little white wash (EDM LOVER), knows urdu, deen, open minded, handsome as hell… and family orientated. OH AND TREATS A WOMAN RIGHT! Honestly my first impression was like “fuck boy. STRAIGHT UP F BOY! Cocky, too into himself, thinks hes better than anyone…” OH ALSO- didnt meet him off of dating apps lol, its called IG thats the new hook up spot jk! But when you actually talk to him and stuff omg… he is so different. I dont think I have laughed this much while talking to someone, he is so hilarious. He opened my mind to a lot of things that I didnt know about or he pushed me to see things differently, which I loved. When we started talking I was very upfront and blunt with him. As a brown girl I dont have the freedom to just get up and leave for a guy. Period. He understood that and accepted it. He told me he had no expectations. What I really liked about him was that he would always communicate, he was very honest and he was really respectful. When I say REALLY RESPECTFUL, like super. We were talking about our exes (no I didnt say bad shit lol) and he brought it up and he told me that his ex would everyday for six months since they were together would ask, “when are we getting engaged?” Not once did he say, omg shes bat shit crazy.. or annoying or whatever. He just said that much and he was like “you know I felt pressured and I wanted to explain myself why I broke up with her.” I mean if he wanted too he could made her the victim… but damn. Very kind. Not just that when he came here he was showing me a convo with this girl who was kind of mentally not there, and she would act weird its really hard to explain but he talked to her respectfully and was like “hey listen if you want to make friends you have – “ something along those lines. He was just really nice to her because he knew that something wasnt right with that girl at all. I mean I know a lot of people who would straight up just cuss her out… like without a doubt. I remember one time he asked me over FaceTime, “why are you waiting after you get your degree to get married?” I kind of just ignored it lol. But then one night he was with his cousins and cousin’s wife in DC and he FT’d me and all I heard was a girl yelling, “Who are you talking too!? Who is this bitch!?” And he goes “oh this is bae”, and after she saw me (without make up and my raspy voice at 12am lol) she was like “OMG SHES SO PRETTY and her voice is so cute! Shes such a good girl  being at home lol.” Then he goes, “Hani, ask her why she wont get married while being in school?” And she said, “look Im 23, still in CC and Im married, you can too.” I wasnt going to put anyone under the bus and be like “well arent you going to be rolling the dice on me!?” - (because someone said that once to me…) like I said, I dont bash on my ex at all. Even after that, he asked me again lol, “IF we were to get married why wont you get married, transfer your credits and stuff? You can work if you like but even if you dont its okay… just go to school. I gotchu bae.” Im just like “uhh…. wouldnt you want someone who has everything set?” He literally probably wanted to slap me for saying that and he was like “No… what am I here for?” Honestly he was so accepting of me, my past, my dreams, my goals, honestly everything. Even when he came here it was like I knew him from a long time ago, it wasnt causing me to have anxiety or feel scared. We laughed so much, watched so many shows and ate such amazing food. OMG. It was so good to be true, i mean we trusted each other, communication was there. He told me some things that really made me realize wow he is so freaking amazing… His brother doesnt have his AA or degree, his sister in law has her AA but he helps a lot around the house. Hes such a good son and omg, when I say more guys should be like him I MEAN IT.  He was suppose to be a police man lol but then he went back to school and took a few classes and became a consultant. He didnt have a stable job until he came back to VA. I mean he was on contract to contract and even jobless for a few months but he was so positive and happy, which is why I loved being around him. Whenever he would FT me, he would be around his cousins and they would always say, “H is so loyal and faithful, family orientated and he will treat you right.” like as if I didnt know that lol. But you know after he left something really unexpected happened and it wasnt in our control to save it. But it was no ones fault either, sometimes life does a plot twist on you when you least expect it but I had accepted the unexpected and like someone wise said (Jatin, this is your shoutout), “you cant compete with history.” It took me a while to understand but I definitely knew that he was always honest, communicated with me and he was amazing. We didnt really need closure but trust me the way we had closure was like I dont even need to talk about this again. Not every situation needs it but sometimes you need it. But you know, this was Gods way of showing me and saying, “Salia… dont lose faith in guys. There are good guys out there.” And you know, there are. But I dont want anyone right now. Im perfectly fine being single. Plus I am already a brat, sassy mc sassy… with me being a little numb sometimes… I think I have a lot to say sometimes and I have a strong personality lol, it would drive someone nuts. But Idk everytime I talk about HA my heart melts just a little because I was treated with so much respect and he would always tell me that I was a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. But sometimes good things dont last forever. I accepted it.

Along with losing him, I chose to cut off a friend who meant the world to me. She was like a little sister and a best friend. After going through so much in just a few months I realized what I want, who I want in my life and what Im going to do about it. I cant handle negativity… like AT ALL. Friends are suppose to support you, be happy for you and be there for you. This friend lol.. she wasnt there for me at all during my break up, i get it YOU DONT LIKE FJ but I need my girl to be there for me.. shit. I felt like she was jealous and trust me I aint hot shit… Im very like normal, pakistani, short girl… living life. But the vibe and the way she started acting about HA was weird. None of my best friends asked me questions like, “Did he kiss you?” like what…. thats not why he flew here for from VA…. But either way she was asking weird questions like, “was it just fun and games”- PAUSE! So I know Im 25, brown girls get the pressure once theyre in their 20s… But I am in no rush to get married and that is not because I dont have a degree- TO HELL WITH THAT. I can burn that shit and I would still be amazing. But like you dont talk to a guy and jump into the marriage topic, wth? HA and I had a very clear understanding that we are going to take baby steps, no telling parents, siblings, whatever… no labels. TAKE IT SLOW. But either way she was just a total bitch. She loves saying, “I told you so.” Either way I had enough of her, her nazar (evil eye) and negativity. Like I dont need that… I need to be around people who support me, love me and dont bash on my ass. I love my circle small and ever since I cut her off of my life, I am doing so much better because I dont have a gun to my head. It wasn’t even over a guy that I ended our friendship… it was because she wasn’t a good friend and she was jealous. She was never truly happy for me about anything. She envied the relationship I have with my mom and would always be like oh your mom was okay with that? Isk just very weird vibes…. I really wish that she changes her way of approach and what not. No guy is going to love a girl who expects so much and no girl is going to be with a friend who is so judgemental as fuck. Period. I never cuss any of my girlfriends out ever. But she really pissed me off and I felt judged and like a hoe. I really dont need that, thanks anyways.

Now that I got that out of my way, like I said earlier… I have been working on myself. I started going to the gym but its been a while because of school and working a ton of hours. But now that I am on break I am going to go back to the gym, start reading my book- EVERYONE MUST READ “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life“- literally eye opening and so funny! It has changed my life. Reading really does help with your knowledge and growing as a person. If anyone knows any good reads, please drop me a message! :) Im also going to start reading the Quran but in English translation because I really want to know what Im reading and what the Quran is saying, I just want to self educate myself and know about my religion, I am not religious at all… but one thing I do want to start doing is praying and being connected with Allah. I think having a spiritual connection is so good for the mind and soul.

As I was turning 25 I was thinking a lot about myself, my past and my future. I am a thinker but I also love testing myself. When I was 23 going to 24 I was a very weak person. I was fragile and sensitive to a lot of things. I didnt have thick skin at all. I will admit that and I was little a push over. I lost myself at the age of 23, I had a stalker who ruined my life. I never had anxiety my whole life… I took everything like it was nothing. But after dealing with that… it made me weak. I wasnt the Salia that everyone knew. But now that Im past it, I went through some tough stuff in 2017… it made me wiser, smarter, grateful and stronger.  I dont get affected by anything lately… and I was very hesitant to post this but its my blog, my page and I will do whatever to it. Plus I love to write. I feel like a lot has happened but I have been just writing bits and pieces here and there. But I guess I thought I would write something its been a while. lol.

ALSO- Im flying out to Arizona next week for the weekend and I am so excited! to celebrate and have a vacation and to be not dealing with school for a month! Hell yaaaaaa. *THIS WAS MY FAV LIFE UPDATE IN THIS LONGGGGGG POST*

Okay guys… its 1246am here! Im off to bed. Have fun reading this, judging this, whatever you want :D