#jkjk it's just that i really don't want to talk to her all that much

[teddybeartoji]

i have two objectives for tomorrow and i want to do exactly Neither of them😐😐😐😐😐

[ktaerssoi]

summary: after caitlin gets drafted into the wnba, you two have a chat (based on the song love will tear us apart, by joy division!!)

caitlin clark x reader

love will tear us apart.

(492)

You had gone to draft night, and you loved every moment of it. Seeing your girlfriend be so happy and excited about her future was definitely a sight to behold.

That being said, you knew that her being drafted for Indiana meant that she would be moving pretty far, and you guys would definitely need to talk before she leaves.

-

once you two had gotten back home the following day, Caitlin finally brought up the situation you guys were in.

"I want you to go with me," she says quickly the night you two get back, unpacking some things to do laundry. you look at her after the words tumble out of her mouth, a look of shock on your face. "c'mon, I mean, I know you still have a year left in school but why don't you just transfer to a school close to me? We can get an apartment, and a cat if you want. or a fish if a cat is too much, I mean I just rea-"

"Caitlin, you know I can't do that," you had cut her off, your words quiet but heard. your eyes watered slightly, sad that you guys could potentially be parting ways after this conversation. "lin, you know how much I love this school, I can't just leave for my senior year." you pause trying to get a read of what she was feeling, but for the first time in a while, you couldn't tell what was going through her head.

"c, I'm not saying that this is goodbye, I just really love where I am right now, and I love that I'm with you but I need to be here. all that you suggested sounded great, but I truly cannot fathom doing my senior year anywhere else." you bite your lip, waiting for her to say something, but she just nods her head, going back to unpacking. you sigh, putting your bags into their usual spot.

you feel Caitlin's arms wrap around your waist, her head resting on your shoulder as you make your bed. "I just can't live without you, I mean seriously, I would rather quit my entire career right now than leave without you," she mumbles, your hair muffling her voice a tad.

"c, just because we're going to be apart doesn't mean that we won't be together again." you turn to face her, your bodies pushed close together.

"come on y/n, we both know love will tear us apart." she looks down at you, and you see her cheeks are damp with tears.

"c, even if that does happen, the chances are slim, but if it does, it's okay because I will always find my way back to you. doesn't matter if you are halfway across the world, you are my person and I don't think I would be able to stay away for long." you smile, wiping her face with your thumbs. "we'll get through it, Caitlin."

i actually hate this dont hmu. jkjk caitlin is such a cutie, i have way to many edits saved 😭. ALSO the girl like texted me i might actually be pulling. - kate!

(not proof read)

[winwintea]

WayV as my favorite songs

AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ no one asked for this but i can do whatever i want lol. i need to flesh out every single nct member and this is the easiest way for me to write for them: music

PLAYLIST ↬ here just in case you would like to listen to any of them lol

OTHER VERSIONS ↬ dream | 127 | wish (when i post them eventually lol)

LIU YANGYANG ↬ 火 - A-Mei

yangyang is a certified y2k baddie. i'm fully convinced he was born in the wrong era. like he would've rocked the 2000s so much, if only he was born 10 years earlier. 火 is quite literally yangyang, don't tell me other wise, like yangyang is🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥the lyrics are so him coded. HE JUST LOVES MUSIC DON'T TELL HIM TO STOP! in true wayv fashion the song is probably about sex

XIAO DEJUN ↬ 爱 - 小虎队

my god. dejun....... literally such a romantic, but he's like the youthful style romantic?? (does that make sense) 爱 just fits him so well cause it's like young love, peaceful vibes, literally i'm in love with this man. I BET YOU ANYTHING HE KNOWS THE SIGN LANGUAGE TO THIS SONG BY HEART. heartthrob dejun of the 90s. LIKE CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM IN THE 90s???

QIAN KUN ↬ 你是我永远的乡愁 - fei yu-ching

you know the guy that sings the xue hua piao piao song? yeah this is one of his songs. another way for me to call kun a boomer but am i wrong??? is this man not a boomer??? i'm sorry. nah but i got a feeling that kun really likes old old music. i'm talking teressa teng, all those classics. and i can't blame him they're bangers. couldn't go straight with a jay chou song bc that'd be too easy i wanted to challenge myself.

DONG SICHENG ↬ 我愿意 - faye wong/王菲

i love love love faye wong....... all of her songs. she's so talented bruh. and i love winwin! wow those go great together! jkjk, i have reasons for this too. this song is quite literally so special so romantic like damn. i have a feeling that winwin, whoever his partner is, he would literally worship the ground they walk on. HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THE ONE HE LOVES. these are literally all love songs but my wayv boys... i picture them in love all the time okay.

WONG KUNHANG ↬ 失戀 - grasshoper

everytime i hear this fucking song i laugh so hard bc WHO WROTE THIS???? WHY DID YOU MAKE IT HAPPY??? hendery is such a comedian, we all know that. he just has this extremely playful vibe to him. the lyrics of this song... are certainly tragic.... it's about a dude who's chasing after girl who doesn't like him but also talking to another guy who likes the same girl and they both cope with their misery together. LIKE... hendery gives me the vibe that for all his misfortunes and troubles he would just laugh it off. which is not okay, but it's how he is. :((

CHITTAPHON LEECHAIYAPORNKUL ↬ play/我呸 - jolin tsai

literally do not know any thai songs i apologize, but if you got any good recs. really any jolin tsai song could fit ten's vibe tbh, like especially 舞孃 could work too. i chose play bc the gays like it (this is a joke but also kinda true) i could say that she's basically the "lady gaga of cpop" (not my words okay) play is just so sassy, and playful, really fits the vibes that ten has going on there. gay.

perm taglist ↬ @lyvhie

[kanonavi]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I was tagged by @hua-fei-hua, thank you much <3

~

How many fics do you have on AO3?

30, currently. I've had a few more in the past that I've since orphaned, and most of my stuff from old fandoms is archive-locked, but that's the total number.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

142,199

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently just Genshin Impact, though I've had a couple ideas for other fandoms that get to stay in the ideas box because I'm simply too busy for them. In the past the fandoms I've written most substantially for were Noragami, BSD, and Persona 5, and there are a few other random ones in there too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When Suikou Met a Little Bird (Genshin) - 287

The Nighttime Routine (BSD) - 257

The Petrus Will Taste Less Bitter (BSD) - 252

We'll Talk the Stars Down from the Sky and I'll Not Forget the Chaos in Your Eyes (Genshin) - 217

This Wine Pairs Best With Your Love (BSD) - 187

Considering that I'm not really attached to BSD anymore, it makes me so happy that one of my xiaoven fics has actually managed to top this list. (Also, another one of my xv fics, A Brief Respite from Lantern's Light, is a close 6th with 183 kudos, so if anyone wants to go drop a few kudos on it to get it back in the top 5........... jkjk lolol)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I used to not respond to comments because I was shy and was never really brought up in fandom to know how to interact with other community members without feeling awkward. But now I try to respond to every comment I get, because I know I always get serotonin when authors reply to my comments, so I'd like to hope that I can give that feeling back to others.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The only fic I've ever written that had MCD was a BNHA fic I wrote based on the song Ghost Rule by Deco*27, so I'd say that one (but please don't go read it that fic is so old agh). I prefer happy endings, so I don't write stuff like that very much.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics don't have particularly high stakes imo, so it's a little hard to compare in this regard. If I interpret this as the most hopeful ending though, I'd say either Disambiguation, the Persona 5 fic I wrote for the 2020 Goro Big Bang, or The Petrus Will Taste Less Bitter.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no. I've gotten a couple of comments that offered unwanted constructive criticism or sort of pedantic corrections, and there was one person who commented on the collab fic I'm writing asking my co-author when she would update another one of her fics, which sucked. Largely though, people have been very kind about my fics, which means the world to me <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written smut before, but only for fun so none of it has ever been posted. I do hope to write some in the future though, so I'll leave what it's about as a surprise ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written?

I'm not a big fan of crossovers, so I've never written one. I have written a fusion au of BSD and Persona though, which was pretty fun.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope, I've never hit it that big lol

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I'm currently co-writing Talk the Stars with my lovely friend Miki, and I do also have a BNHA crack fic writing roulette that I wrote with a group of fandom friends waaaaay back in the day.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

There hasn't been a ship of mine that I would say has proved itself entirely timeless yet, but as of now my favorite ship is still xiaoven (Xiao/Venti) from Genshin Impact. If we ask AO3 though my most written for ship is still (unfortunately) soukoku (Osamu Dazai/Chuuya Nakahara) from BSD.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My only current wip is Talk the Stars, and I want to remain optimistic about it, so take my entire box of ideas that I want to write but may never get to instead!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I've been complimented on my characterization in the past, which is always an incredible honor!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Actually writing- Joking, I'm joking! I feel like I've always struggled with the minute descriptions that go between dialogue. Like I'm good at dialogue and I can describe things fine when no one's talking, but I can struggle with the little movements and facial expressions that go between.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't mind single words or little phrases, I know I've attempted (to a questionable amount of success tbh) to use German pet names in Venti's dialogue, but they never really sound right, probably because I don't speak German and don't understand proper usage. The one place I really object is where people will write entire sentences in a foreign language in the fic and then not provide a translation even in the author's note, which I have encountered and is quite annoying.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

My first fic on AO3 was a little one-shot for Kagerou Daze!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Call it recency bias, but my newest fic, A Mora for the Bard, Held Between Your Lips, is one of the best things I've ever posted imo. I put a lot into it, and I think the end product speaks to that. I don't think it'll be my favorite forever, of course, but for now it holds a special place in my heart

~

Tagging: @radellama, @stardustdiiving, @morkiiimoo, @mango-jpeg, @ghostofdiamonds

[rottencoreflesh101]

THIS SIMP WANTS TO HEAR ALL ABOUT IT, PLZ TELL ME ON AND ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT YOUR FICTIONAL BFS & GFS!!!!!!! If you want ofc

WWWAAAAAAA REALLY?????????????? I WOULD LOVE TO!!!!!!

Okay okay first stop, that makes my heart go BADUM BADUM!!! ILYSM ANON THANKS FOR ASKING IVE NEVER GOT TO TELL SOMEONE ABOUT ALL MY BABES. Warning: it contains spoilers of KNY

Kyojuro Rengoku: Dear lordddddd, I love this man with all my being, yall don't understand. He's my husband. I love his eyes, I love how bug eyed they are, I love his thick bushy eyebrows, I love how "himbo" he looks. I had many people say that Kyojuro is creepy or ugly but I simply dont care, how can you hate a man that screams golden retriever energy. I love his energetic self, I love how he talks, I love his loud voice, I love EVERYTHING. I love his design, god what a finger licking design, bless the designer. Also I like man tiddies, I like to think he's ripped but not like Tengen, a little lesser than Tengen actually, like his uniform's buttons are struggling to be kept together bc its tight on his chest. MMMMMM I would like this man like a dog nvqnqeuheuvh-

Genya Shinazugawa: I love him so much. I've always liked edgy characters and Genya just fits right into it. I love his design, I love his big widen eyes, I find his angry expression so cute, he is the only character I have found attractive with a haircut like his. Genya is definitely the type of person who would act all "bad boy, idc about you or anything" but he would have a soft spot for you and you only. I love his scars, I would kiss them every time I had the chance istg. In my hc, I like to think he would be all soft with you, give you kisses and smile at you but when someone walks in, he quickly goes back to his serious angry expression and pretend like none of the affection he just gave you seconds ago happened bc he doesn't want to appear weak, specially to Sanemi. He's also just a cool character, like hello???? HE CAN TURN INTO A DEMON FFS, imagine a man just like Genya towering over you with his cute fangs and demon eyes on you, plz bite me sirrr pleaseeeeeeee. I desperatly need a DEMON GENYA FIC GRRRRRR-

Douma/Doma: He's hot, next. JKJK tbh I dont have much to say about him, I just find him attractive, I like his personality, I like his all happy type attitude even tho he does it to just try making everyone in the room like him or find him annoying. He can eat me and ill thank him, I know he haves committed a long list of crimes, but I just love him. I just think this tall man would pick you up like if you weight a feather into his arms and pepper kisses on you, he would be so clingy, he would do ANYTHING for you, call you cute pet names and he traces his fangs against your skin with his stupid cute smile, AAAHHHH I want him so bad ;(. I also have a softer spot for monsters, idk why but ever since I was a teenager, I loved zombies, werewolves, vamps, demons etc. and I just find them attractive.

Mitsuri Kanroji: I adore her, who doesn't? Its maybe because I kin her, she me frfr. I just adore her, Idk what it is but I just do.

Iguro Obanai: Well like I said before, I love edgy characters but him??? oh boy he's the whole cake. He's emo, what more can I say?? also his design is super cute tho not a really big fan of his personality, but he won me over when he was comforting Mitsuri on their last moments. I also love how he's so mean and selfish yet he haves a soft spot for Mitsuri, that's so cute.

Kukoshibo: Already went off on him teheee

[moon7jay]

youdidsomanythingstogetmehookedtoyourworks. okay soo lemme type properly now. ehem. serious talk. jkjk. LEMME JUST SAY CHERRY WAS OMG EVERYTHING I COULD ASK FOR. THE WAY YOU DID EVERYTHING IS LIKE A PUZZLE THAT FITS SO GOOD. AND LIKE THE OC? she was so relatable esp the part where she longs to feel wanted. thats sooo me and yeah high five oc, we both choose the same seat in the cafeteria with the same dressing style, the same book choice and THE SAME LOVE WE HAVE FOR HEESEUNG. idk why but i just have this attraction to yandere (might be cuz of lonliness that ykyk i developed thses stuff. im so weird loll and so awkward) heeseung was portrayed so nicely and omg cant wait for the sequel. AND JIHOON THAT CUTIE POOKIE WOOKIE BEAR? OMG PLS LEMME HAVE HIM TOOO. ILL TAKE HIM TO PLAYGROUDS ALL THE TIME AND ICECREAM AND CUDDLES AND GUMMIE AND SWEETS AND LECTURES TO TAKE CARE OF HIS HEALTH AND ILL SKIP UNI FOR HIM AND WELL STAY AT HOME TGT WITH SUZY. jay part. (gets into real serious mood) JAY THAT MF, i knew he was up to no good. when he spit those bitter words out, dread filled my whole body. i was like "not agian nooooo oc got hurt too many times" and i shut my laptop took a walk and yeah THAT JAY. I WAS MAD AT HIM FOR THE WHOLE DAY. THAT MAN. HOW DARE HE. that feeling of getting humiliated is so familiar to me and i felt soososososooso worked up. and the body insecurites, i relate to them a lot. i have lots of stretch marks too and i learned to love myself cuz no ones does so might as well be the one for myself. THANKTOU HEESEUNG FOR TAKING OC TO UR VEDI LOVELY HOUSE AND BEATING UP HER DAD AND FOR RIPPING JAY'S FACE. AND FOR OFFERING TO TAKE CARE OF HER. I NEED A HEE TOOOOOOO I'VE GOT NO ONE. I NEED A HEE TO THROW PAPER BALLS AT ME FROM THE SEAT BEHIND ME TO ASK IF I PREFR LILIES OR ROSES OR IF I SLEEP ON MY BACK OR SIDES OR WHAT MY PLANS ARE AND I NEED HIM TO DRAG ME INTO CLOSESTSS. cherry and hyungline reaction on s/o havign ed are my fav stuff.THANKOUY THANKYOU THANKYOU FOR CREATING ALL THIS LOVELY WORKS AND I LOVE YOU SM AND YOUR WORKS TOO. omg. im so sorry for the grammer spelling anf the yapping. btw can i still be the lovely anon??? (want to be the lovely one for you since ykyk im so not lovely for anyone) - XYNIA'S LOVELY ANON

Okay first of all. Thank you for taking your time and typing this long feedback, I don't think you understand how much this means to me. I always come back and reread these sweet messages everytime I feel low, so really, thank you 🫶🫶

Also you're not weird bb, it's okay to be mentally fucked up it's not your fault🫂. Also yes, jihoon, I love him so much ajshsjshj, I understand why you want to adopt him😭. I do hope you find your own heeseung in time my love, you're not alone and there are more people like you than you think, so keep going , you're doing so well for yourself 🤍

Thank you for loving my works, it's sad that you relate to those two works specifically so sending hugs to you 🫂. and yes you can be my lovely anon, you don't need anyone else I got you bb🤍

[kfanopinions]

[WAYV] who is mtl to be possessive?

*taking this from the exo request i did, loved looking into this and learning more about astrology and such ^^ plus, like i've said...i need more wayv on here hehe love those guys*

*a little fyi before you continue, this is my personal opinion + their sun signs ♥*

MOST

kun

winwin

xiaojun

hendery

yangyang

ten

LEAST

kun:

okay, kun is a capricorn and they have a tendency to feel possessive/jealous when someone comes in with higher specs than they have. what i mean by higher specs [in the updated version of kimi wa petto the main girl talks about wanting a boyfriend who: is tall, went to a prestigious school [harvard etc], has a well paying job [more than not makes a higher salary than her] so think of specs in that sense. kun is such a multi-talented person and seems to want to try out and get some kind of certificate in a lot of his hobbies ☺️

with all of his interests [no doubt he has done stuff we don’t know and it’s probably awesome to hear everything he’s done] i think if he got a whiff of some person walking in like "yeah i went to blah blah blah school" and "i've invested blah blah blah into w/e" and “i've been to blah blah blah country doing this type of work for w/e reason" and his s/o shows signs of intrigue/interest or astonishment that is when he'll feel like "hold up..." 😠😤

winwin:

he's a scorpio the end.

jkjk despite the fact that winwin is a scorpio [my scorpio brother from another mother] i wanted to put him further down on the list. it's weird...i'm either not paying attention to him as much as the others [he does sometimes fade into the background for me, typical scorpio behavior at times] so it's like..."in what situation would winwin be jealous?" 🤔

however, with scorpio's we get possessive/jealous when someone enters our territory. look i've read on so many occasions and i've experienced this myself, but we can sum up whether someone is good/bad/whether we like them or not, from the first couple of seconds of meeting them. it's a weird thing and i have a pretty good winning streak in this department 😉 so if he deems someone as a threat you better believe he’s going to act possessive in some shape or form

i'll also say this, we're constantly trying to figure people's intentions out and that in itself can mean some possessive behavior. i'ts like always wondering what a persons ulterior motive is. so with winwin being a scorpio [even if i don't 100% see him being this high up on the chart] something is telling me to put him here, so i'm going with my gut!

oh and one last thing…it takes scorpios sooooooooooooo and i do mean soooooooo long to put their faith and trust in people. when you’ve worked that long trying to trust someone i can tell ya this — you will fight to keep that person in your life 😋 c'est la vie to whoever tried to barge into the relationship 🤣

xiaojun:

xiaojun is a leo and this may come as a shocker [not really] but leo's like to be adored [think alex the lion from madagascar 😊] he wants to be his partners one and only [so sweet] 🥰 and he wants all their love and attention and when that is going to someone else...well...those negative feelings start to bubble. it’s not bad, his s/o just needs to shower him in affection and attention and remind him how much they love him and he'll be fine

[i have a leo friend and he gets sulky if i don't give him attention...it's exhausting 😮‍💨😅]

hendery and yangyang:

THE LIBRAS ♥

okay, libras are about balance ⚖️ but i'll say this just like virgos [my mom's a virgo] they COMPARE/ JUDGE [well mom judges but same diff in this case] libra's will feel this possessive/jealous feeling when they look at others as a possible threat. in this case, "man he's taller than me" or "why is he so good looking...is he even real?" think about things like that.

i think both hendery and yangyang are soooooooooooo chill but i mean...yangyang has said it that he thinks he's cute [he is love you yangyang] but it's when negative nancy decides to pull up in her car with comparison charlie [totally made up comparison charlie 🤣] is where things get muddled and the need to keep their partner away from that person, or wanting to keep their partners focus on them comes into play

ten:

finally, our pisces...

okay, so my dad is a pisces and i don't know if it's a trait that pisces people have but they just seem to have A LOT OF CONFIDENCE... like “yeah i love love and i know how to work a room and my charms to get what i want”

[ten saying he has honey skin and you need to taste it as an example] 😅

don't get me wrong pisces people do get jealous and possessive but out of the other signs, not as much. it's like they know when they get jealous and then stop it before it gets out of control. also, they seem to be in their own dream and fantasy world half the time [no offense my pisces people love you guys] but unless someone was flirting right in front of him, or he caught on rather quickly to a situation happening he probably won't know. also fyi, this is definitely not a sign you want to make jealous - he'll feel hurt/disappointed more than jealous/possessive so please be careful with a pisces they feel their feelings so deeply

[sixeyesgojo]

Tag! You're it! Ship your mutuals with fictional characters! 🎉

How convenient that I am not real and therefore I am a fictional character, so it's all just Yoru x my moots jkjk

You'll get the top 10 mutuals I last talked to (that I remember):

@yunagiri I don't know much about you but your Mahito icon stuck... *looks away*

@kurohebi Rangiku, I know you're her biggest simp (understandably so, as you should)

@solaoi I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT Utahime (maybe it's your pfp on twitter) aaand Nemu.

@malewifebarou Tomioka, I want to see you and him together PLEASE you'd be cute and awkward but CUTE

@adviswhore bro i don't know but you're stuck with blue eyes white gojo for now, i am SO (not) sorry

@shirohyorin hitsugaya (anon) because you simp for him a lot + bonus: hyorinmaru because you have a sword kink.

@mephiis you always want gojo to smack your ass, so i have no choice, really. don't you dare make him bald.

@nozomiasl i don't know you well yet mai but you're literally so sweet and so caring, i have to pair you up with tanjiro so he can take care of you and your pure soul

@charlie-xo spider!sukuna because your status is still hiss hiss motherfucker. i have said enough, i think.

@cursedmoonchild gorgeous gorgeous girls date gorgeous gorgeous men and by gorgeous man i mean kyouya oiranzaka because i need him to spoil you rotten

[one-abuse-survivor]

i really need to vent im so sorry. my sister is driving me to literal insanity. i dont know if im a manipulator or shes truly being a horrible person to me. i talk to my bf a lot. facetime pretty much all day every day, and she can hear me talking through the wall, mostly mumbles no words, but still noise, and she doesnt say anything. she games at the WORST times, honestly, at least we stop talking at 8/9pm, but thats when she starts gaming with her friends, screaming (yes. literal ear piercing screams from horror games) shouting and overall joyous loudness from her room. i put my headphones on and try to block it out, knowing shes just having fun and i need to put up with it. its been like this the whole year practically. the past week shes been getting closer to dad again. dad. the guy who hates me with a passion and mentally abused me for 2 years straight and never got a consequence for it. every. single. time. she hangs out with him, or games with him, she turns into this horribly mean snarky person who is so so rude. and ik im sounding dramatic but shes literally the opposite otherwise. but other than dad shes also got a new friend whos very judgemental and snarky so ig shes impressionable. but anyway the past week shes been very rude and mean to both me and my mum. mums a huge pushover so being mean to her is like kicking a dog, and i truly hate it when shes mean to her. cos mum loves her more than she loves me (its evident and shes told me multiple times i promise im not inferring it) so shes much more of a pushover with my sister 'everything has to be perfect for her'. i hate it. ik ik its jealousy but im dealing with it or at least trying to. so tonight she was singing horribly and ive not had a good day, im stressed, tired, and trying to sleep and here she is humming away purposefully sounding awful. i ask her to be quiet, continues, tell her to shut up, she continues, so i bang on the wall and i kid you not she slowly gets wuieter and quieter til its barely a mumble i can hear from her room and it makes me so unfathomably angry and i truly have no idea why. its like she knows every single button of mine and pushes them at will. so i texted her saying, why are you being such a dick lately its so annoying, to which she was like "i put up iwith you blah blah you cant put up with me blah' i told her to stop playing victim so she told me i need to learn to shut up and put up. a phrase straight from dads book. she knows it is and it throws me into a spiral ehenever i hear it and she knows!! so here i am angry af trying to calm down and not do something ill regret tomorrow, whilst shes happily downstairs making light conversation with dad. i hate it so so much. i did respond back, are you being sarcastic rn?? if not i dont want to speak to you ever again. and she said ok. ik ik its dramatic af but i just cant with her anymore she makes me feel how dad made me feel and i then react like a child, to a child. ik my responses are in the wrong, i really am sorry if i sound really childish or just plain stupid and im truly in the wrong, pls pls tell me if i am. i just cannot handle her at all lately shes literally been a demon lmao (jkjk) thank you for letting me vent to you, the safe space youve created really means a lot <3

hi im the anon whos mad at my sister, uhm - im very close to starting my period and have come to the conclusion that its the reason for the anger lol. Ik i do have some issues but i think it was mostly irrational anger when i wrote the vent, and not an acc issue, or at least thats what im really hoping is the answer lol. im super sorry about it, and i hope youre having an awesome day 💕

Hey, nonnie. I'm glad you could let out some of your frustration and anger here ❤️ I didn’t see your second ask until after writing the reply below, but I think all of it applies anyway, becuase we’re allowed to have days where we’re more irritable. I’m having a good day today, I hope you are too!

I don't think you sound childish or stupid, nonnie. It sounds to me like you might have had a trauma reaction toward her because of the abuse your dad put you through. Trauma reactions (ie. having flashbacks, going into fight/flight, becoming hypervigilant...) don't just appear when we're interacting with the people who abused us; they often also appear when other people do or say something that reminds us of the abuse. Your sister knowingly used a line your dad has used to hurt you before, so I think it is completely understandable that you had an emotional reaction that seems "dramatic" in retrospect. I can only talk from personal experience, but I've also done the same over text in the past, and it was always after something/someone sent me into a fight response.

And, nonnie, even if trauma responses don't justify our actions (they only explain them), I think it's fair to say that this situation with your sister escalated from both sides, not just yours. It wasn't you exploding at her out of nowhere. As you said, she was pushing your buttons, and she knew she was upsetting you, because you'd asked her to be quiet several times.

So yeah, if she makes you feel like your dad made you feel, I think it's understandable that you're having these big emotional reactions toward her when she oversteps your boundaries and purposefully pushes your buttons. You said you react "like a child" toward her, and I think it might be helpful to think about why your reactions feel like those of a child. Children—especially abused children—feel small and defenceless, and sometimes they lash out to protect themselves when this fear and defencelessness become overwhelming. So "reacting like a child" doesn't have to necessarily mean "oh I'm being so immature and stupid". It can mean "I feel threatened and helpless, so my body is having an instinctive reaction to protect me".

What I'm trying to get that is I think you ought to be a little bit kinder to yourself, nonnie. You're allowed to be affected by her attitude toward you. You're allowed to acknowledge that these reactions you're having aren't a flaw on your part, but a sign you're going through a lot of distress and your body is protecting you in any way it can.

I also think you need to be kinder to yourself about feeling jealous that your mum loves your sister more than you. Your jealousy isn't the thing that needs to be fixed in this situation. Your jealousy is a very appropriate reaction to a very unfair situation to you. You deserve to be loved and cared for and protected from harm as much as your sister. You never deserved to hear that your mum loves her more than you. You're not being selfish or childish by feeling jealous; you're just acknowledging your unmet emotional needs and acknowledging that you deserve better than this. And you really do. You deserve so, so much better than this.

Your emotions are allowed, nonnie. Your anger and your jealousy and your defensiveness when she's mean to you and your mum are all allowed. Please don't forget that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

[onewingedsparrow]

This is very informative and tbh I’m fascinated but how dare you assume I have sentience (jkjk)

Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUse ME, Princess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I hope you notice though that I didn't assume you were human. That would be bold of me.

Also dang Optimus prime quote is *chefs kiss*

Isn't it a compelling quote? It dwells in my spark rent-free, ever reminding me of my purpose. It is, I am loath to say, one of the few good things to come out of Michael Bay's...infamous...live action cinematic universe. But, out of the scrap pile we exhume great recycling.

Also I think I remember you posting art about sparklings(? Thinking about one of your OCs specifically, forgotten most things I’m sorry) like baby/children cybertronians? Is that a fanon or a canon thing? Do they change from baby to adult in an organic sense or is it more…. Inanimate object like?

It's okay that you forgot, I was vague about her on purpose and didn't even tell you her name ;) Yes, I drew my sparkling! She won't be a sparkling forever...the story has great plans for her, hehe...but her story with RiD Bumblebee does begin when she is a sparkling and he finds her in the scrapyard. When it's finished one day, I hope you'll read it. <3

Cybertronian sparklings, my beloved! There was a considerable length of time when I was not onboard with the concept, but fandom eventually swung me. Sparklings are arguably more of a fanon thing than a canon thing, because fandom loves how cute they are—but, that being said, even canon that does not explicitly show sparklings nevertheless acknowledges the physical growth of Cybertronians in their life cycles. This time I will actually cite a few sources: -Earthspark has a flashback where you can see past Bumblebee was smaller than present Bumblebee.* -Robots in Disguise (2015) proves that Bumblebee clearly grew between adolescence and adulthood, but, I can't talk about that without spoiling something. - Age of Extinction references Bumblebee going through a rebellious phase reminscent of a teenager. Come to think of it, - The Last Knight directly shows sparkling Dinobots (but don't get me started on the worldbuilding in this movie because...well...just trust me). ...I wasn't intending to deliberately use Bumblebee across these examples lol but since he's usually one of the younger Autobots, it makes sense that he exemplifies. *however, Earthspark is also one of the few continuities where we get to see a Transformer come to life: while not "Cybertronian," the Terrans, including Twitch and Thrash, are "born" onscreen and are far more developed than human babies when they first appear; they act more like single-digit kids than like toddlers or infants. It technically debunks the idea that Bumblebee was a sparkling, but, at the same time, one could argue that, since the Terrans are "born" differently than the Cybertronians, as the Terrans originate from something besides the Allspark, it is theoretically possible that Cybertronian sparklings could still exist in this continuity. We'll have to see if Earthspark gives us any more flashbacks about Bumblebee....

~

Fun fact: "Sparkling" was actually a fanon term that canon later adopted, so that's pretty dang cool. Since sparklings are more fanon than canon, there are many interpretations of them. It all returns to the grand concept of "How do you believe the Allspark brings Cybertronians to life?" and, of course, no one can agree on that.

The concept of sparklings requires its own post if you really want to know how I personally see them, but I'll keep my headcanons brief: 1. Cybertronians do not reproduce sexually and I will not be dying on this hill because I'll forever be holding this hill in victory, not death. 2. Thus, sparklings are neither birthed nor built. 3. As Cybertronians develop from sparkling to youngling to adult, they do grow physically, mentally, emotionally, etc., but their overall lifespan is much longer than a human's lifespan, so the development appears to occur slowly from a human's perspective. @brb-on-a-quest From the bottom of my spark, thank you for asking all these questions! I adore your curiosity towards Transformers and I welcome any request for me to Nerd about one of the fandoms I am most passionate about. <3 Transformers science in particular is such a fun topic to explore.

Do transformers eat and/or sleep? What makes them sentient?

*rubs hands together excitedly All right, Brb my beloved, you have discovered one of the things I am most passionate about: Cybertronian physiology. Buckle in. I'm intensely invested in Transformers Science, particularly biology, so you've come to the right place. @brb-on-a-quest First, let's set the record straight: there are two major acknowledged branches of Cybertronian science: Canon and Fanon. Within each branch is a countless spread of other offshoots. As expected, Canon splits into various continuities, from comics to video games to novels to TV shows to movies to everything else under the sun. Fanon is likewise orderly, but a bit more freeform, splitting into Canon-But-Explained-to-Make-More-Sense (which is comprised of but is not limited to Robotics-Inspired, Vehicle-Inspired, and Creature-Inspired); Popular Headcanons That Have Just Been Around Forever; and Pure Imagination and Whimsy. (Canon is certainly also affected by Pure Imagination and Whimsy, but Fanon takes the time to explain how things work whereas Canon is more likely to gloss over it.)

I bring this matter up to set in stone that there is no "one right answer" for Cybertronian science. Continuities within canon don't always agree with each other, even without adding the orderly chaos of fandom interpretation. With that in mind, instead of answering this question with the highest level of accuracy, citing sources from various continuities and comparing and contrasting Canon logic and Fanon logic to see what truly makes the most sense in regards to Cybertronian physiology (as I normally enjoy doing), I'm going to simplify it all and give you a concise reply that is backed up by multiple canon continuities. Note: I will be using the word "Cybertronian" a lot in this reply. The term is used to refer to the native inhabitants of the planet Cybertron: sentient robotic organisms. On Earth, we know them as "Transformers," commonly translated to "robots that turn into vehicles." However, "robots that turn into vehicles" is a rather misleading idea, because while Cybertronians are robotic, and do take forms of vehicles, they are also organic first and foremost. A Cybertronian is not just wires and nuts and bolts come to life. Cybertronians have blood (called energon), organs (some of which are called biomechanisms), and souls (called sparks, though, the term "spark" itself is quite complex and refers to the heart, soul, and spirit all in one), to name just a few aspects that set them apart from your typical "robot." Cybertronians are aliens first and foremost: people that live on another planet. Just because they're robotic doesn't mean they're "robots." They don't follow programs; they have freewill. Now, to return to your ask.

- Do Transformers eat? In the most basic terms, yes. Cybertronians need to consume sustenance to go about their daily lives. Their standard food source is energon. (Yes, I said that was their blood, but really, it's fuel, same as your blood is a source of fuel for your body.) Energon is processed, consumed, and then circulates throughout the body. Simple!

As far as "How do they eat?" goes: that's a question I can only answer continuity by continuity. Some stories have them drink it through their mouths like we might chug water, some stories have them inject energon into their arms or their torso or elsewhere...there's no "right answer" here. So, yes, you can have fun imagining Optimus Prime drinking a giant glass of what looks like blue Gatorade, or, imagining Megatron chomping down on a giant-rock-candy-crystal of diesel-pink energon, or whatever strikes your fantastical whimsy. Some people imagine them having proboscides like insects or hummingbirds. It's rather fun all around. - Do Transformers sleep? Yes. Canon doesn't always have show that they sleep (because that's kind of a boring movie or TV show to watch) but canon regularly implies that Cybertronians need some sort of rest. "Recharge" is the term most commonly used in fandom. But, the life cycles of Cybertronians are very different from the life cycles of humans, so just because we don't see them sleep for a week doesn't mean they don't sleep at all. The way they engage with time is different from humans. It's logical to assume they don't need to rest as quickly as humans do. - What makes them sentient? What makes YOU sentient, dear friend? ;) This is one of my favorite questions to answer about Transformers. See, like I said, Cybertronians aren't robots, they're robotic aliens. They're people, with souls. When they "come online," they're sentient. The way Cybertronians are "born" (so to speak; actual birth is not involved) is their spark is brought into the world from a great light known as the Allspark. The Allspark is the source of Cybertronian life, and, so too, is the place that sparks return to when Cybertronians die. For yes, they can die, just as you and I. A spark is metaphysical; the Allspark is metaphysical. Who is to say what makes a soul sentient? Who can say they know exactly when life begins?

To quote Optimus Prime from Age of Extinction, "There are mysteries to the universe we were never meant to solve...but who we are and why we are here are not among them. Those answers we carry inside."

There are some continuities that claim that "Transformers were built." Forged by other creatures. Created by physical hands. However, I prefer the stories that leave the Allspark intact as something that cannot be fully understood—sanctified by the mystery of life itself. I think there is something special about stories that treat the metaphysical with gravitas. I believe Transformers is so much deeper when Cybertronians are truly more than meets the eye.

[oikaw-ugh]

LEIA!!!!!! 💖💞💗💕 HOW ARE YOU??! I saw you were doing match-ups! Can I have one but is it possible in a best friend way instead of lovers? Only if you want to and if you have time ofc! I'm 156 cm (almost 5'2 so don't call me 5'1 T^T) I barely get angry and I smile unconsciously a lot. (it's because I'm looking at your posts ;D jkjk) I'm a aquarius and I have hair which is a cross between Yachi's and Oik's hair. I look serious but actually am kinda sweet. Eh, if you need more deets, tell me!!😘

👁 PILAR BB HELLOOOOO THIS IS SO CUTE 🥺 was planning to do this the next weekend but as I write this (this paragraph), I am stuck in a group conference I don’t really want to. I hate the people and their humor :v that’s so rude of me.

And oooooh a bestfriend, now that's knew. But the moment I read this, the Holy Spirit told me your bestfriend would be...

Tsutomu Goshiki! (｡♡‿♡｡)

I don't know thoughhh but it just screamed Goshiki

Also, because you said you smile a lot? I think that makes Goshiki interested with you? But that’s just me LOL.

You’re childhood friends, alright?

Probably it’s either Goshiki’s family went to your neighborhood or yours to his!

But either way, we gotta thank your mothers for being so friendly with each other. If it weren’t for them, you wouldn’t be bestfriends with Goshiki!

Like, imagine your moms just chatting at the dining room, and like, you’re at the backyard playing with your toys?

Goshiki with that cute frown on his face: Wʜᴀᴛ...ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ...ᴅᴏɪɴɢ???

He thinks frowning is manly let the child be

Pilar: These are my toys. Do you want to play with me?

Goshiki: ...I ɢᴜᴇss I ᴄᴀɴ ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ.

When you were youngerrrr (like elementary/middle school young)

I feel like Goshiki was a loner

Like, no. Not the sad loner. Just that awkward dude that nobody wants to be friends with.

Because he’s just so proud of himself and like??? we don’t really want a show off as a friend yk what I’m saying?

So Goshiki is contented with being friends with you!

Pilar: Goshiki, you should try to be friends with others.

Goshiki: Hmph! I don’t need them! I’m already great by myself!

Also Goshiki on the inside:  🥺😢

Somehow, you kind of felt like you need to be at Goshiki’s side all the time? Because you know that he knows that you both know that he’s just too shy good for everyone.

So you try to be there for him at all times

Which is like, not that much because you’re pretty friendly yourself.

So it’s inevitable that sometimes, you kind of forget about him as you mingle with your other friends.

Whenever this happened, Goshiki is just silent at his seat, glaring at you, mad. 

Mad at what? I don’t know? The leaf? He’s kind of confused himself. He didn’t know what to do.

Going home together is a thing too! 

Goshiki wouldn’t admit it but he loves to go home with you.

Because it’s more livelier with you around, especially with how easily you get distracted. + he can boast at you, too!

Both of you: *silently walking*

A cat/ a doggo: *breathes*

Pilar: gOSHIKI, LOOK!

Goshiki: *groans* 

But deep inside, he likes it when you two get sidetracked when going home.

He hates it when things suddenly don’t go according to plan?

One time it was already dismissal and it’s time to go home. 

But you were so into your friends’ conversation you didn’t even know it was time to go home and Goshiki is growing impatient on his seat.

Pilar: Goshiki! Let’s go home?

Goshiki: *scoffs at you while blushing in anger* Yeah, right! I can go home by myself!

but he waited for you lol

Highschoollll

I think this is where your friendship grows more.

To the point that you both went to Shiratorizawa because you didn’t want to be separated from each other.

Well, Goshiki went like, “I don’t care if you don’t go with me to Shiratorizawa! I can handle myself.” but we all know that’s a lie.

He wanted to be a volleyball player.

AND YOU’RE DEFINITELY SUPPORTING IT!

Mainly because volleyball is just a very crowded sport? And thinking of Goshiki interacting with other people just??? makes your heart??? melt???

you hope his arrogance do not piss them though

He tells you that he met the team’s ace. 

And like, he’s trying to dethrone him because their ace is actually very popular!

Pilar: Are you sure with that though?

Goshiki: Of course I am! What? You think I can’t do it?

Pilar: Nah. I know you can do it! *sincere smile*

Goshiki in a nutshell:

Let’s talk about you two on a daily basis

NON STOP BICKERING

IDKKKKK just casual fights though (LMAO IS THERE SUCH THING AS CASUAL FIGHTS????)

Goshiki is very proud and he does not hesitate to tease you >=]]]

Goshiki: This is why you’re still 5′1″. You keep on eating sweets. you need to eat healthy foods to become taller.

Pilar: eXCUSE ME I AM 5′2″

Honey, there’s really not much of a difference in the eyes of a 5′11″ :(((

The fights are really petty jdbfdf but like, not the types that make you go mad yk (I’m so sorry Pilar BB my words are just failing me).

Pilar: You’re supposed to put cereal before the milk, Goshiki!

Goshiki: CEREAL IS A SOUP. MILK BEFORE CEREAL!

Pilar: iT’S NOT A SOUP-

Things are shared between you two c:

Like, your classmates wouldn’t be surprised when today, Goshiki wears his purple varsity jacket and the next day, you arrive at school wearing it.

Pilar: Goshiki~ can I borrow your hankie?

Goshiki: Pilar, do you still have those oil absorbing sheets?

Pilar: Goshiki~ you’re going home late today, right? Should I leave my umbrella for you?

OH, AND BY THE WAY! Somehow, Goshiki is able to open up to others well now??? Like, the people around him just take his arrogance lightly? They love him AND THIS MAKES YOU SO PROUD.

Goshiki: ...Are you crying?

Pilar: No. I’m sweating with my eyes ;)

Suitors? Frowned upon.

A no-no for Goshiki >=[[[

Goshiki: Do you hear yourself? You think that guy can take care of you? Does he even know your zodiac sign?

Pilar:  👁 👄 👁

Pilar: ʷʰᵒ ᶜʰᵉᶜᵏˢ ᵒᵗʰᵉʳ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ'ˢ ᶻᵒᵈᶦᵃᶜ ˢᶦᵍⁿˢ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᶦʳˢᵗ ᵐᵉᵉᵗᵘᵖˀ

Pilar: ʷᵃᶦᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵐᶦⁿᵉˢˀ

But truth to be told, Goshiki is just uncomfortable with the thought that you might get hurt by other boys’ if ever you let them court you.

But your happiness >>>> before anything else so as much as Goshiki hates it, he’d let you entertain your suitors anyway...

BUT that does not mean he’s not going to pry >=[[[[

Your suitor(s) can only approach you at your BREAK TIMES

Break times=snacks and lunches WITH GOSHIKI

Your suitor is uncomfortable with Goshiki glaring at the side? TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.

Your suitor would like to drive/walk with you home? I’m sorry, Goshiki is already at the gate waiting for you

Goshiki: What? You’re taking her home? Do you even know where she lives? I’m the only one who know where she lives! *proud*

Goshiki: You don’t even know her mom!

You:

Your suitor: :V

You try to discuss this with Goshiki, though. But he is hardheaded!

Goshiki: I’m just trying to protect you! Those boys are just going to break your heart, you’ll see!

But anyways, at the end of the day, it’s: Goshiki >>>> before anyone else for your case so when your suitors couldn’t take Goshiki’s sharp tongue, I’m sorry then they’re not worth keeping.

Bye, bitch.

serious fights...

I think that could happen if Goshiki takes his sharp tongue too far!

Like, when he boasts too much he wouldn’t he has offended you?

It happens rarely since you aren’t the type who gets mad easily but whenever this happened, it takes sooo long to patch up?

And Goshiki at these times would be so down! The volleyball club would find it odd how he’s not saying his normal banters (like, he’s the better ace and stuff).

Your parents would find it odd how you went home alone when you’re usually with Goshiki?

Mom/Dad/relative: Pilar, you’re home? Where’s Goshiki?

You: I don’t know with that bowl cut pole.

Them: Ahhhhh. A fight.

I CAN SEE YOUR FAM AND GOSHIKI’S INTERVENING!!!!

Like, they’d purposely hold dinner together or something. And both of you are like: ???? of all times? Why?

Like, it’d be so cute if they’d let you buy something at the groceries for “dinner”. And you both would be so awkward because??? you’re in a fight.

Goshiki tries to break the ice first though. After hours of silence, he’d randomly say things like, “Hmph! The Milo model looks ugly. I look better than him!” he said that while reaching for the Milo in can.

And you’re like:...you’d look better if you change your haircut.

Goshiki, obviously offended: eXCUSE ME?!

And before you knew it, you two would laugh your ass off because of that and you’re back to being besties! :>>>

Here you go, Pilar! I’m sorry if this took long BB :> and I hope I’m accur8 or something ehehhe :))))

[092219archive]

OZYMANDIAS FOR THE GUSHING MEME THE PEOPLE MUST KNOW (jkjk if you don't want to go ahead and do ereshkigal if u wanna) - maddie

ephraim was answered for! robin hood will… have to wait. for reasons.

i would’ve… answered these earlier but. well, i’ll get into it under cut.

long story short, i’ve been struggling with a lot of things which is why these have been sitting in my inbox and collecting pixel dust (but after these are answered, my inbox will be cleared which is neat).

ozymandias is a really… difficult character for me to understand and fully grasp despite having a straightforward character— the sun god, carries old egyptian beliefs as that was the time he came from… a man of (his own) culture, if you will. i’m still pining but as of late… i feel like my feelings for him have changed a bit, where i’ve come to… accept him a bit. you can thank a handful of people for that.

they have exposed me to way too much ozymandias content and now i feel like i’ve caught a fever with how heated i get.

i hate the fact that he fits the “is this eren’s potential new fave?” criteria, but i also… like his character? he knows his status as a pharaoh, the king of gods. he knows he has the power to give orders, he knows that he’s strong. he knows who he is, and he would never second guess his status as ramsses ii. he knows that if he wants something, he’ll get that something since everything belongs to him as the pharaoh.

but i’m a fairly reserved person, by choice but sometimes by nature if that makes sense. i don’t yell to people about feelings unless we’re close and i can absolutely trust you with information, not because of the fear that you will tell others but because this is generally personal stuff that i want you to be aware of. think of it as like… a status update. a patch note, but a life patch note.

ozymandias doesn’t hide his feelings. i do. ozymandias is loud. i’m not. he talks a lot! i don’t. he likes to be around people, wants people to bathe in his presence as the sun and the king. i prefer to be alone, away from the crowd because generally, people make me anxious.

finding out that i had feelings for ozymandias was a ride. yes, there are other characters that are confident, but that’s one of the only traits a lot of my faves share. overall, they’re not as “out there” as ozymandias. they stay inside their circle and come out when they want to.

but ozymandias? that man does the sun’s job — his presence is always there, whether you like it or not. in fact, you will appreciate his work, and you will look upon them and despair because of how mighty he is. that’s who he is. i don’t appreciate the sun, and i don’t like people that flaunt their everything.

but for some reason, i found myself pulled to this man. i found myself wanting to learn more about this man, to understand why he acts the way he does, why he says the things he does, what does he mean, is there an underlying reason for why he sounds less upbeat in his bond level 5 quote, why his tone changed in [this] part of the dialogue, how would he react in [this] situation—

i think about him more than i’d like to admit. he’s overwhelmed my thoughts at this point and needless to say, he has… become this unavoidable beacon of light in my mind.

he’s interesting, he’s unique compared to characters that have a similar personality to ozymandias. i hate what a show-off he is. our personalities just… contrast, theoretically.

i don’t want to toot my own horn or anything but… i feel like we would… mesh surprisingly well, even if on paper it sounds like a recipe for disaster. he decides what he wants, and he decides what he’ll get. everything, and i mean everything, is his. he doesn’t treat people of royalty differently unless they were “endowed with the power of a king upon birth, and understand its responsibilities.” under ozymandias, things have equal value until he determines that they don’t. all things are his and he decides what to do with those things.

yes, it’s because he is the pharaoh that he owns everything for himself. it is because he is the pharaoh, the king of gods, that he doesn’t even consider other royalty to be special. but it is also because he was the pharaoh that despair was brought into his life, that he continues to love nefertari even if he doesn’t see her anymore, that he realizes he cannot have everything even if his status states that he can, that there will soon be a poem for him that talks about how great he was but how he is now less than what he was.

but he continues to hold his status as a pharaoh with his head held high, with his scepter in his hand and the ability to harness the sun’s rays to bring victory. he is aware of the misfortune of what has happened in his life, and he has taken it as his own power to stand on his feet, tall.

i dwell on my problems for years and onward. i discover problems i never knew i had. i haven’t been seeing myself in the most positive light even after reminding myself of the kind words that have been said to me by friends.

i have to chant to myself, that i am worth something even if i don’t feel like i’m worth anything right now, but as of late the words have felt empty and i find them hard to believe.

but this is where ozymandias comes into, well… my life.

as the king of gods, his word is certain. if he wants something, he will get it. if he orders something, the order will be done. and if he wants his master to care for themselves? well… who would reject the his orders?

with the kind of guy he is… he’d leave an impact onto me. he would leave his mark on my life and my history, and he’s not afraid to leave his name on places he thinks requires one. it would be a… difficult process for the both of us due to his disinterest in a lot of things, and how i avoid dealing with my feelings… within due time, i would definitely think that… things will eventually come to blend in together, it’ll be a… pretty gray, i would like to think.

i guess what brought me to him was just how he is. i… did talk smack about him in the beginning but i mean well. few boisterous characters interest me, if at all, so as i said earlier, finding i had feelings for ozymandias was… a bit of a ride.

he’s… i hate to admit this but as stressful times have arrived, he’s become oddly special to me. i like how his character was handled, i like hearing his dialogue even if it’s long… hearing him talk during battles always brings a smile to my face because of how ridiculous he sounds but… that’s who he is and i appreciate his character as a whole.

[staysuki]

hello????? omg??? just finished slc 😭😭😭😭 i did not expect a lot of those things just now 😭 I LOVE IT 😭

(also, minor interval of the praise ahead. this is for me simping so hard for slc seungmin 🤧 go off my hot model attorney 😩💗 istg i want to either bite him aggressively or kiss him very affectionately and softly??? wtf havr you done to me kim seungmin??? 😭😭😭)

anyways back to the topic 🤧

NAYEON AND JAE??? 😭😭💗💗 I SOBBED UNTIL I READ THE BONUS CHAPTERS SOVJSJAIBJA SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭 ALSO NAYEON MY SWEET GIRL, JUST ANSWER JAE 😩 man's literally getting old 😩 (lmao? 😭) but for reals 🥺 I'm so glad nayeon got to at least open up even if it was in her last moment, and it lead to good things 🥺💗

next we have the mcs 🤧💗 YES 😩 love it 😩💗 they're cuter than ever 😩😭💗 i cannot fathom how much I'm so proud Hyunjin and y/n talked through everything in a healthier way and it mended their relationship 🥺💗 (i was expecting the worst, good thing it didn't happen 😭) also jake??? 😭 omg? 😭 man's faster than our wifi 😭 but hey 🤧 at least we get the two mcs their happily ever after 🥺 really hapy with the ending 🥺🤧💗

and finally. THAT PLOT TWIST 🧎🏽‍♀��

surprised but also not surprised???? 😭 it's either my bad trust issues, but i really had that feeling lix was still alive 🤧 it was such a heavy gut feeling, and it turned out to be true 🤧 CAN'T WAIT FOR HDD 😭💗

(anyways, all of those aside, I'm happy that you finally finished the series 🥺🥳💗 i do hope you're off to resting now 🥺💗 work is endless, but rest is important; so i hope you're keeping yourself safe and healthy and well hydrated 🥺💗 you deserve a big hug and comforting pat for doing a job well done with the series 🥺 i really hope to read more from you 🥺💗)

- lot's of love, anon (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

JSHWJSHWJS yes, lots of unplanned things just popped up in this fic and honestly, i'm glad that i got to explore a lot of different ending scenarios in this fic even though they all led to a somewhat happy ending, after all the angst and suffering that the characters went through, i think they deserve a happy closure 😭✨

JSHWJHSW PLS JAE IS OLD. HE JUST WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN ALREADY 💀💀💀

I CAN'T WITH JAKE PLS 😭, i honestly really wanted a cute airport scene, that's the only reason the fic ended like that JSHWJSHS jkjk. but honestly, that was a treat to write. it stings a bit but everything gets resolved in the bonuses anyway~

Y'ALL JUST LOVE FELIX TOO MUCH THATS WHY 😭 but don't worry, i do too. hence why i kept him alive and gave him his own spin-off JSHWJSHSH

and thank you so much 💕 i'm glad you liked it. i hope you like the next one just as much. i can't wait for it either accckkkk. this is actually making me want to start writing for it already JSHWJSHSH. but yes, rest time for me first 😼💕 i'll be back soon. thank you anon! lotsa love 💘

[in-for-a-pennyx]

Oh my god it's finally here and it's perfect! I literally smiled throughout. Javier Peña you absolute heartthrob, how dare you be so perfect!

I just want to say @furious-rogue-stuff: your story crafting still astounds me. To weave such a rich and detailed world, and do it consistently, is such a talent and I'm forever thankful that you share it here! I could pick out whole paragraphs that made me feel so much love for these two and the world you've created.

Rest of my flailing below the cut.

Ahh so happy for Ellis and Anita! But sad to have their departure come closer than expected. I absolutely love Ellis as an OC. @furious-rogue-stuff you've written him so well and he's been so present in the whole story that I sometimes forget he's not actually in the TV series. I'll be sad to see him go!

JAVIER GOING DRESS SHOPPING WITH QUERIDA. That's it that's the post. (fuck no I need to talk about this). Ok the YEARNING this launched in me!!! I just love how easy it was for Javier to comfort Querida and for her to actually receive the comfort from him. My heart!!!! This was so sweet!! Javi being a love struck fool and complimenting Querida so freely and honestly really fucking gets me going ugh. I'm sorry I don't have a more nuanced comment on this bit but like my mind is putty right now. Also the tie banter was top notch. Later Querida picking out his outfit for the wedding was such a cute scene to read. That whole exchange was so domestic and fluffy and sweet and safe. It was so normal for two kids in a usually tricky world.

Javi and Querida talking about apartments 😭 😭!!! It's almost surreal that we've reached this point in the story.

"Nope. You want an annoying cat, so wherever we consider has to allow for it," Javi quips in a chivalrous tone before nuzzling into the back of your neck. "Let's make appointments to check them out next week?

Like are you kidding me!! My fucking heart can't take it sir please stop. You can't be this lovely!! Just this whole scenario is making my heart fly.

But, when they talk about telling Crosby, they actually communicated! My babies were calm and collected! Any time earlier they would've definitely fought about it but they didn't. I'm so proud of them. Second point where Querida would've definitely lost it earlier would be at the hotel when Javi mentioned Helena. But she listened and recognised the guilt he carries and gave him some tough love and told him he's a good man rather than getting defensive about another informant Javi slept with. I'm so proud of her and yes! Javi is a good man who deserves all the love and peace in the world!

Also I want to shout out the throwback to the first season. It's nice to see the story stay connected like that. And thank you for bringing some closure regarding Helena! I hated that the show-runners never wrapped up Helena's story even if she was just there for one episode. So I really appreciate you giving her some closure.

The whole wedding filled me with such joy 🥰 It was lovely and as a reader it was so nice to read about different traditions. Javi being a charming mfer was a surprise to absolutely no one, especially not Buela haha! Javi being next! (He secretly loves it) It was just so nice to see Javi interact with the extended family and fit in so well and it makes me want to see Querida meet Chucho even more (please do it Rogue, even just a drabble please 🥺)

And now, the third point they could've fought was talking about kids. It such a treacherous topic anyway and they both did so well. BUT ALSO JAVI WANTS KIDS WITH QUERIDA I'M WEAK!!!!! Javi has something he wants to live WELL for, not just survive. He wants to make plans, he wants to have family. YOU DESERVE IT ALL MY SWEET!!

I'm not gonna elaborate the smut because HELLO it as perfection as always. Javi getting turned on by Querida in heels - I feel you bebito. That's how I like my women too 😏 (jkjk). Him being so doting and soft when Querida has her visitor has me in my feels always. I just want someone (or Javi) to call me mi media naranjita 🥺

Wow, I said I'll be brief but I'm clearly incapable. I regret nothing! I've waited so long and this was perfect. Except the last few lines, I'm scaaaared!! But I promise not to speculate too much this time.

Can't wait for the next chapter! 😘

Heat Chapter 34: Worthy

My dear, patient sweeties~! So sorry for the sizable lull between posting. Life got insane. As a sorry, please enjoy this super-sized, fluff and smut-filled chapter 😁

Pairing: Javier Peña/F!Reader

Rating: Mature/Explicit 🔞

Character Count: 21,500+

Summary: During the lead up to a happy life event, you are confronted with news that leaves you emotionally vulnerable. Javi supports you and finds himself longing to be your comfort, but will being shown what your life together could be encourage you both to seek it, or inspire other doubts to bubble up between you?

Warnings: Javier Peña being the God-level BAE. Graphic descriptions of sex, including explicit depictions of oral (m+f receiving) and unprotected sex. Mentions of hurt/comfort, emotional trauma, toxic coping mechanisms, and adult situations. Descriptions of raunchy behavior, light dom/sub play, cum play, ass play, size kink, praise kink, and dirty talk. Allusions to triggering events, familial strife, and emotional trauma. Some Protective!Javi, Dom! Javi, Sub!Javi, Sub!Reader, Soft!Javi. In the vein of Narcos being a bilingual show, and Javier Peña being fluent, I felt it was apropos to include Spanglish and Spanish throughout.

Heat Masterlist

Previous chapter - Chapter 33: Amor

Chapter 34: Worthy

The jarring stunt via trigger object left on your desk aside, the rest of your week leading up to the wedding is one you expected to be filled with the silly stresses of errands needing to be run, arrangements requiring your attention, and plans to be made to fit everything within your hectic schedule.

You don’t expect it to be the beginning to the series of massive changes that will alter all your current plans.

Keep reading

[istgimamess]

Hii!! I just saw the ships you gave me and omg thank you so so much!!

Firstly, I meant for you to ship me with only 1 member from NCT but you actually went ahead and gave me 4 incredibly adorable ships omg :') thank you so much for all your time and effort spent on that. Also Lee Hyunwoo is an absolute cutie omg I have to admit I'd only heard about him before this but now I'm going to go watch some of his work to know him more because you got me so intrigued??! Maybe I'm start with Secretly, Greatly ahahah since my boi Soohyun is there as well :)

Also I wanted to say how beautiful each of the moodboard were omg they fit my aesthetic perfectly like I can't stop staring at them!! And your writing is so beautiful damn you're really gifted in this pls don't ever stop! Also thanks for the compliments uwu like Kim Jiwon?? I can't believe you just compared me to such a queen omg

Also I actually haven't requested from you before but that means I might have a doppelganger out there omg when you find her maybe you could introduce me HAHAHAH jkjk (not really) Anyway thanks so so much again and have an amazing day!! xx

You’re sooo welcome! Yayyy! I’m sooo glad you like them! Haha and thank youuu, oh my god you’re sooo sweet! My hearteu!!! 🥰🥰 Thank you for the compliments, I’m blushingg 🙏🙏 

Secretly Greatly is really great, completely and utterly underrated, but (TRIGGER WARNING!!) prepare your tissues! 😭 and please let me know what you think after you watch it!! I’d love to hear your opinion! Hyunwoo is so precious in it, an Soohyun be snatchin’ all the wigs! Lol. 

And, yes, queens recognize queens haha 👸 Both you and Jiwon have that uniquely feminine aesthetic but bad ass vibe! I live for it! Stay beautiful, queen! And feel free to request to your hearts desire; my inbox is always open if you ever need to talk. Stay safe and healthy~ (the worlds a bit crazy atm) 🥰

[bbysamu]

HEY DOLL 🥁 since it's your theme, I FINISHED WATCHING JJK 😭 I CANT,,, I WANT MORE BUT THERE'S NO SEASON 2 YET ASDFGHJKL im sorry but i think ill steal Megumi from you or steal u from him, that's good either way😉 u brought this upon yourself when u said JJK is good and that i should watch it 🤧but i honestly can't still decided who's my favorite yet in jjk like there's the man himself, yuji/sukuna, then there's precious megumi, heart-stealer gojo, if-u-cry-ill-cry Inumaki, badass-can-kick-my-ass nobara, step-on-me-and-ill-even-thank you, nanami and etc........... *insert awkward silence*

ANYWAY, regarding your reply to my last ask, I was referring to the scene where nobara straight up asked the model recruiter(?) 'what about me?' It was funny but it really gave me second-hand embarrassmentDHKJASDH but my love for her continues to grow w/ every appearance she makes 😭 so yes shame on me shame on me

and aaaaaaaa u have an Inumaki anon!! He's so cuteee i love him even if I haven't mastered his language yet lolol but that's fine I'm watching a compilation of him rn and I'll master it in no time. AND OMG so many anons came, that's great to hear! i hope u won't forget about me when this continues on😔 jkjk HAHAHA that just means people are giving the appreciation and attention u deserve ❤️ i wish i was there to see the chaos unfold, maybe next time HAHAHA

Also, calling Pick me Boy Megumi! I know you're lurking somewhere here so pls show up already. Don't keep this pretty girl waiting!!

-Angst anon who loves Ceci very much and wishes that she's ok😚

oh, to be called doll by my angsty baby. YOU DID?! congrats bb, its so good eh? I loved that show, one of my favorite anime ever ever everrrr.

you can steal me, I don't mind insert lip bite emoji or steal Megumi, but he ain't even here for you to steal 😭 you know how there's a lot of versions of Megumi I want to collect? Pick me Boy Megumi, Yeehaw Cowboy, sweet Megumi? etc etc...now all I want is just Megumi Fushiguro as himself.

Yet, you know what would be hilarious? if all these versions of Megumi came but I can never get the OG Megumi to come. That would be hilarious to be trolled like this and I would love every second of it

I absolutely love the character descriptions you've put in for each. "if-you-cry-i'll-cry" Inumaki. Thats exactly how I feel. And okay yeah I feel you about that modeling scene, but seeeee? she really grows on you and I'm glad you love her now

YES I DO. I love my inumaki anon 😭 I hope he comes back to visit sometimes though. He's absolutely adorable. And yeah, we're really expanding Ceci's anon family, but don't worry my love, I'll never forget you. You're my angsty baby

Definitely join in on the chaos next time. It was so chaotic I was like 😭 and 😂 all at the same time.

PICK ME UP MEGUMI, you see what angst anon said? Please come hither if you exist

I love you very much too darling 😚 can't wait to talk to you soon!