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semimedieval · 1 year ago

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in which we continue to pretend this writeup is helping me brainstorm 3.0 instead of well probably distracting me from it

in other words: lupus and ky break up, and glimmers of larger-scale narrative value are improbably contained within said very stupid plotline

first off: normal exchanges to have the morning you break up (for less than a day)

Ky wanted to stay underneath the covers, the morning air was cold, colder than usual. "Do you want my spare jacket?" Lupus asked, pausing above her. "Sure." She replied. For a moment warm happiness replaced the cold. She loved Lupus, kind and considerate. He handed it to her with a grin, then went to help Obsidian heat up the oatmeal.

then, believe it or not, obsidian and lupus are deeply cruel to each other for no reason, no reason at fucking all. i'm not going to paste in that dialogue cause it's devastatingly embarrassing

wait JK i thought their sniping at each other over the oatmeal was just the precursor to a bigger and more interesting fight but this is literally all we get before Just so you know, Lupus hissed. "Don't you dare complain to anyone about me. I never did anything to you," he continued. "I don't know why you hate me so much." That's Lupus, he's always the victim! whispered Obsidian. "Poor Loopy Lupus who has bad dweams at night."

OBSIDIAN IS BEING SIGNIFICANTLY MORE CRUEL THAN LUPUS HERE. We find out that lupus glares at obsidian whenever he "so much as looks at" ky, which has never been established before ever i'm not positive that ky and obsidian have even spoken onpage before the previous night. anyway lupus and obsidian share a bedroom so presumably the bad dreams are something obsidian knows about and is taking the opportunity to make fun of? OBSIDIAN, *YOU* HAVE BAD DREAMS! THEY WERE DESCRIBED TO US IN DETAIL LIKE 30 PAGES AGO!

Ky felt sadness grab her heart. She hated it when they fought. "Obsidian! LUPUS!" Chuji yelled "STOP!" They looked around. "Sorry," muttered Obsidian. Lupus said nothing, just smiled at the girls and turned his back on Obsidian haughtily. Ky's sadness turned to anger. "I agree. This is taking it too far." Quartz stood up and stood with the girls. "Third the motion. Obsidian, you should know better."

shoutout to quartz and chuji for correctly identifying that obsidian is equally if not more to blame for this complete nonsense. chuji runs off into the woods and starts setting fire to things which is a fair response to your boyfriend being an utter dipshit at least it is if you are sixteen years old.

ky of course says -

Ky spun around and ran, the opposite way of Chuji. "And Lupus," she called. "We're over!"

after all these posts being like "oh they're about to break up! the next post is the infamous lupus and ky breakup!" it happening this quickly when it does happen is catching me way off guard.

Lupus's heart seemed to stop, and he leaned on the table. 'We're over,' she had said. His heart was beating way too quickly. 'This is all your fault' he wanted to scream at Obsidian, but he knew this was what had lost him Ky in the first place.

both lupus's reaction to ky kissing him and to her breaking up with him are so unusually physically and emotionally detailed for posts on adventures of the extranei element powers rpg. the material reality jars you and makes it very hard to hate him.

Lupus ran north and Obsidian ran south, while Ky and Chuji had gone east and west. (sorry, I had to do that for comic effect) Only Quartz and Spark were left in the clearing. Chuji came out of the trees, her face blank "Holy ----." "Hello, Chuji," said Quartz, keeping her voice steady. "Ky's dumped Lupus and ran off because he was being a jerk and she felt betrayed, Lupus ran off because of that, and Obsidian ran off because he felt that it was his fault alone that the three of you were unhappy."

Quartz's theories that heterosexual love makes you crazy and evil are not getting disproved anytime soon it seems. I remember my 'four directions' bit vividly, and I do think it's a very funny adaptation that in 2.0 Obsidian and Chuji came out of the woods together and were like "we didn't like, actually run off very far from each other.

also, needless to say, let chuji say fuck.

Lupus collapsed on the ground, practically hyperventilating. This couldn't be happening... Only this morning, as he gave Ky his jacket, he had been so happy. Where had this hatred led him? He realized that being nice to Ky wasn't all of it, it was being an all-around good person. Monoceros had been nice to Loop's mother, hadn't he? "And Lupus, we're over" - the words echoed in his head, Ky wished Lupus could just be the old Lupus again, the one who laughed and smiled. Had she really just broken up with him? She felt tears well up, but pushed them back. This was not her Lupus. As much as she hated him at the moment Ky wished Lupus were here to comfort her.

they are so. i think if anything the utility of this breakup is not that there should BE a breakup in 3.0 (a fight, perhaps, in 3.6 or 3.7?) but that it correctly demonstrates what i have known all along, which is that lupus when he thinks is leaving ky is not calm and collected and regretful, he is screaming and crying and throwing up.

"Seriously, people!" Obsidian exclaimed. "Rim is in danger, and we still need to bring back Tozi. I'll go get Ky, Chuji gets Lupus."

Big words from someone who is kind of directly responsible for this but i'm glad SOMEONE'S thinking about the perils of going full soap opera mode. Not helping to convince me that This Is All Lupus's Fault For Sure is spark's narration.

Spark wanted to take Lupus's side, what with all her friends ganging up on him, but she just couldn't. Lupus had been wrong. Granted, Obsidian had done his part to make matters worse, but the real culprit was Lupus.

WAS HE????? cause the most aggressive thing HE did was throw a silly little snowball.

i was excited to read the "chuji gets lupus, obsidian gets ky" sequences because a) obsidian/ky is a secretly viable ship and i enjoy their interactions, and b) i didn't write them into 2.0 because i knew there had to be reasonable limits as to how much quartz could overhear or insert herself into. so this is something i haven't read since at the latest 2018 but perhaps as far back as 2016.

First, Chuji and Lupus:

She softly walked towards lupus. She crouched next to him "Hey." she said softly Yes? he asked blankly. "It's cool, If you wanna be grouchy be so." She placed an arm around him. "Don't be foolish, She's overreacting. Walk up to her, heck kiss her without warning." "There's more to it than that. But thanks for being so kind Chuji. I feel like everyone hates me. And now I've got to go apologize to Obsidian." He stood up shakily and walked with her back to camp. Her arm slipped off his shoulder "I had problems with Obsidian. I usually felt as though he was lost and selfish, but inside him, there's light. Ky needs to see your fire, not your ice."

"Walk up to her and kiss her without warning" is the worst possible advice you could give in this situation, and my dear sweet "no amount of anime will convince me consent is optional" 12 year old self (you are so cool <3) knew it too. lupus does do this (though at a point where ky is clearly in the mood again i would think, she's like hugging him or something we'll see) but partly because jack replied to my comment saying "YES! YES! THAT SHOULD HAPPEN XD"

fucked up ideas about how relationships work aside, chuji is kind of on the money here. i respect her for being the only person in the whole friend group who is being nice to lupus because boy does he need someone to be nice to him right now.

Next, Obsidian and Ky:

Ky used her powers to make a light based Lupus, laughing and reaching out to hold her. She extended her arms, but fell through the figure, on the ground, straight on her face. She sat up and watched the light slowly diminish. Was this what his heart would do in the end? Disappear from her grasp? Obsidian came up behind Ky. "We have to save Rim and Tozi," he said softly. "Um, Ky?" he added, feeling like he'd witnessed something he shouldn't have. Ky followed him to the makeshift-camp, her cheeks still a bit pink from him seeing her with the Light-Lupus. "We'll just pretend that didn't happen," Obsidian winked.

No adjacent miracles of unusual emotional intimacy here, just silliness. The wink is weirdly casual and supports the Obsidian Is Mr. Steal Your Girl Theory, which is not actually a theory we want to support but it sure is a theory the text accidentally keeps supporting, not least through obsidian's accusation that lupus glares at him every time he hangs out with ky. which we've only seen obsidian do to talk shit about lupus, so-

anyway everyone comes back to the clearing they've been camping in (a clearing is one of those generic ur-settings in extranei and in all generic fantasy like it) and lupus apologizes to both obsidian and ky. i have been lupus's #1 defender in this story beat so far, but let the record show that this is kind of a shitty apology, not to mention a very confusing one.

"I'm sorry for being mean to Obsidian, Ky. I guess I'm selfish, because I saw it from a selfish point of view. I thought that if I was kind to you, that would be all I needed to keep you happy. Hate me if you want, but know that I still love you."

though the last line remains true to the last breakup and for a long time after it. i think it takes lupus a long time to figure out for sure that ky's not coming back, and a long time after that to know for certain that he doesn't want her back what with what has happened, and an even longer time (maybe never) for him to quit imagining alternate universes where she didn't leave.

not that i would know anything about that.

on the way to the headquarters, lupus and ky try to resolve things and fail miserably. she says "we should still break up" even though it's clearly making her miserable. lupus snaps at her defensively and she PHYSICALLY PUSHES HIM AND CRIES OUT "GET AWAY FROM ME" which is. man. sigh.

ky thinks t his, which i'm not sure is entirely true. it might be a case of RP Mind Reading, ky getting bad vibes from lupus's "how would i manipulate everyone?" internal monologue.

Why was she mad? For starters, he had been snappy at everyone in the group, yet treating her like a princess. His jokes were snide and cruel, and he seemed distant all the time.

meanwhile, we check in with lupus. who is very sad.

He didn't see the point in staying, even. He wanted to run away. He wanted his unicorn back... He wanted, he wanted. You want too much, an inner voice told him. You want too much, you're unfair, you're snappy. You only really trust one person in the group. You're a spoiled rich kid who's used to people falling at his feet and him getting everything he wanted. Stopping his self-pity, he looked at Ky. She seemed so miserable, and part of Lupus wanted dearly to comfort her. But they'd never be that way again. He'd ruined everything. He began to run again, turning his face away from Ky's so that she couldn't see it. Finally, he was about a quarter of a mile away from the group. 'She needs to see the fire in you,' he thought. But was there fire in him at all?

'spiral of insecure self-realization' is one of the easiest things to write compellingly but i can still really see my writing of people's internal monologues improving. i don't love the way "you want too much, you're a spoiled rich kid" is treated as Narrative Truth... this is the problem with an unclear backstory, was lupus doted on or was his father predictably evil as a father figure not just as a feudal lord? we don't know and we never get to find out. monoceros is not treated with enough nuance elsewhere for "he was a good father but a bad ruler nicky ii style" to really feel compelling. certainly in epng lupus is made out to be a bad father, though admittedly in an "overprotective" direction rather than an "actively cruel" one. the point is, lupus did not have a charmed life or a perfect childhood, and just because he has not had the same kinds of tragedies happen to him as obsidian, doesn't mean he is a "spoiled rich kid" the way, say, takiea in epng is a spoiled rich kid. he has textually said that a) his mother died and he misses her, and b) his father openly talked about hating magic users and it made him deeply afraid. he ran away for a reason!

i say all this partly because in lupus's apology to obsidian he says "You've experienced more tragedy than me," which is both deeply condescending and not a very fair way to compare lives or experiences. It is clearly what Obsidian believes, but that does not reflect well on Obsidian. And my experiences with grief are limited and less insane than those of these fictional teens, but it would be roughly like Gabe telling Liam "nothing bad has ever happened to you because you grew up upper middle class!" or me telling Gabe "you've only lost grandparents, not closeish personal friends and mentors!" Or if Jane responded to any personal problem that E or Gabe or I had with "well at least your dad's not dead." All immensely cruel and insane things that it's impossible to imagine saying as a real person in real life. It's hard to conceptualize when you're 12 or 15 and your life has been fairly free of permanent loss, but grief tends to make you more compassionate towards the losses of others and not eager to compare them, at least it's so once you're past the "being really mad at everyone who knew stephen less well than you and is writing shitty poetry about him" stage.

again, it's maybe possible to imagine people having this reaction to takiea in epng because she really HAS had somewhat of a charmed life - wealthy without attached dehumanizing responsibilities, adored by both parents, a rich life full of hobbies - but lupus's dad is evil, his mom is dead, and he has nobody in the world besides the extranei. so maybe i think the obsidian and quartz that i feel attached to in my head would not rewrite that history into something dunkable-on. just a thought.

i did not mean to spiral into writing Very Long Lupus Meta on the clock. they're about to reach the headquarters but as a final note about lupus, ky, obsidian, and the tangled conundrums thereof, let's check in on the followup between ky and obsidian.

Obsidian caught up with Ky. "Just yesterday, you were talking about defining points of personalities," he said lightly. "Things have changed. I guess you were right all along." Ky replied. But still, it just didn't feel right. There was a nagging feeling she should go run into Lupus's arms and tell him how sorry she was, for everything. Ky was utterly and helplessly confused. "I'm not so sure," Obsidian replied. "Perhaps you yourself were right all along." He laughed. "How our views have changed. Don't worry, if you don't feel right with him, don't hestitate to tell him so."

Hilarious attempt at 'hesitate'. How did I nearly win the class spelling bee twice again? Anyway, the underlying feelings of all this are unsalvageable, but I can see why I included it in 2.0 because it's too iconic to our RP memories not to be. It's a fascinating study, as all of the relationships in Extranei are, in How Our Preteen Selves Are Imagining Relationships As People Who Have Never Been In One. infinitely rife for biographical analysis. limitedly rife with material for a 23-year-old to reach into and cherry pick compelling things from. obsidian has spent 24 hours dunking on lupus mercilessly only to change his mind when this dunking turns out to have unpleasant consequences. sometimes this is a true thing that happens. good thing that, in this roleplay, consequences never last very long.

#og rp lb #rereads #iteration 1.0

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bangtanloverboys · 2 years ago

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just a ghost out of his grave // jjk

summary - if there’s anything jungkook hates more than being dead, it’s ghost hunters who won’t let him spend his afterlife in peace

pairing - ghost!jungkook x ghost hunter!reader

genre - humor, angst; ghost au

word count - 1.3k

warnings - ghost files/buzzfeed unsolved reference, mentions of death, jk died young (like 17-18)

author’s note - happy halloween everyone! i hope you all enjoyed these little ghost stories

tagged - @jeontier

the ghost of you masterlist

If life was long, death felt longer. It had been. . . God, Jungkook couldn’t recall how long ago it had been since his accident. Days? Weeks? Months? However long it had been, he didn’t like being dead. He knew he was dead too, which was a bit weird finding out. All he remembered was exploring the old abandoned psychiatric hospital a few miles south of town, rumored to be haunted. He was there on a dare. He knew he shouldn’t have been there, but Jungkook was never one to back down from a challenge. All he had to do was grab something and get out. He couldn’t even remember exactly what, but he knew he had it in his hand when he died. Falling through the floor.

The reason the building was abandoned was for a multitude of reasons: hospital shut down due to lack of funds, the supposed ghosts (not supposed anymore, as Jungkook was now one of them), and the building not being structurally sound. He thought those last bits were just made up to keep kids away. But hindsight is 20/20, especially when you’re dead.

At first, Jungkook couldn’t handle it, the whole being dead thing. He screamed, threw things, yelled at anyone he could see walking past through the window. But quickly, he realized that it was no use. No one heard him and all he was doing was wasting energy.

As time went on, Jungkook tried to make peace with his death. A bit difficult considering he was stuck in an abandoned hospital for the rest of eternity, but it was the thought that counts.

But there was one problem Jungkook grew to realize that he hated more than being dead. And that was ghost hunters. Every few weeks or so (usually in the summer or fall), teams of teenagers with ouija boards or grown adults with all sorts of gear would break into his final resting place and annoy the absolute shit out of him.

At first he thought it was funny, scaring the teenagers into believing he was a demon or using that very loud and annoying spirit box to say stuff like “apple-tater” and “spaghetti”. But after so many “who are you”s and “let your presence be known”s, he wished for nothing more than to be alive only to smack the shit out of these so-called ghost hunters.

Tonight was just like any other, a small group of young adults with backpacks and cameras came strolling in like they owned the place, ready to “capture evidence”. Jungkook resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the leader of the group, who seemed to be you, gave orders for where all the tech should be placed.

“Alright, Jimin, set up the laser grid in the south-west hallway. Hoseok, you do a sweep with an EVP in the west wing. Tae and I will take the REM pod up to the 2nd floor. Try and do a spirit box session and remember to keep your cameras on at all times,” you instructed, looking at each of the other guys.

“You got it.” They all sounded off as they went off in their separate ways. After watching them split up, Jungkook decided to follow after you and Taehyung, who seemed to be clinging to your side, you two seemed like he would get the most fun out of this encounter. “Tae, I love you, but you’re slowing me down.”

“You’re heading towards the spot where a guy literally died falling through the floor! You need to be careful!” The taller man hissed back at you.

Now that caught Jungkook’s attention.

You rolled your eyes at your friend. “That’s the third and fourth floor. We’re going to where he fell to.”

“You mean where he died!”

“Taehyung, we are in a psychiatric hospital. People have probably died in every room of this building. Now shut up, we’re almost there.”

You were right, Jungkook thought. It wasn’t a hard spot to miss, there was a hole in the ceiling where he fell through and another hole above that. He went through two stories, shattering all the bones in his body. . . He still felt the sickening crack of each one if he thought about it.

Jungkook watched curiously as you handed Taehyung a camera, who immediately started filming as you pulled out a device from your bag. It was an interesting circular thing, with dozens of colorful bulbs on the top. You set it down right below where he fell through, on the spot he died.

“Okay. Mysterious Teenager Spirit, this is a REM pod, the closer you get to it, it’ll light up. Can you step closer to it if you understand?” You spoke out into the air, looking about the empty room. Jungkook stood still, not sure if he should give you any satisfaction. “Here, I’ll show you.” You stepped forward, holding your hand above it, and the lights started going off. “Easy. Can you do that?”

Unsure how long he would be able to take it, Jungkook complied. He stepped closer to the device, the light bulbs pulsing.

“Woah!” You and your friend called out in shock.

“Okay! Uh, oh shit, spirit box. Hang on.” You dug around in your pocket, pulling out another device he was all too familiar with. The ever present static echoed against the walls. “My name is Y/N and this is my friend Taehyung. Can you say our names back to us?” Jungkook didn’t say anything. “Can you tell us your name?”

“Why should I tell you?” He said.

“Why,” was all the machine picked up.

“Oh shit! This is. . . this is awesome, okay. Tae, you’re getting this right?” You looked to your friend, who looked like he was about ready to crap his pants.

“Y-yeah.”

“Okay, keep rolling.” You turned back to the spirit box. “Because wouldn’t it be nice for people to know?”

“Eat shit and die.”

“Eat shit. . . Die.”

You blinked down at the spirit box, a look of disbelief written over your face.

“Did. . . did the ghost tell you to eat shit?” Taehyung asked.

“I- uh, yeah. . . .Okay. Didn’t expect that.,” you muttered. “Can you tell us how you died?”

“I fell through the fucking floor! You know this already,” Jungkook said as he crossed his arms, he hated these dumbass questions.

“I fell. . . you know this. . .”

Both you and Taehyung are completely silent now. “How. . . how did you know we know?”

“You were literally talking about it,” he scoffed.

“. . .literally talking about it. . .” The spirit box repeated.

“Okay, so you are the teenager that died here then? You fell through the floor, you were here on a dare. What were you dared to get?”

“Y/N, we got enough evidence, I don’t wanna anger it any-”

“Shhh!”

You both were silent, giving Jungkook time to respond but he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t remember.

“You went up to the fourth floor. Do you remember what’s on the fourth floor?” You asked.

Jungkook racked his brain for it, he didn’t go up there too often in his afterlife. But he recalled something. . . something about a tool from the head doctor’s office.

“Head doctor. . .” The spirit box answered after he responded.

“That’s right. The head doctor’s office is up there. And you grabbed something from that office. Do you remember what it was?”

Jungkook furrowed his brows together, trying to remember what. The more he thought, the angrier he got. He didn’t even notice the two of you beginning to shiver in your thick coats.

A beeping came from Taehyung’s pocket. “Y/N, the temperature’s dropping. . .” He said as he looked at the beeping device.

“I don’t remember,” Jungkook gritted out.

“Don’t remember.”

“You can! Just think, what’s in a doctor’s office usually?”

Frustrated, he let out a scream, causing all the equipment you had out to blitz.

“Shut it off! Y/N, let’s go!” Taehyung shouted at you, ready to bolt out the door back to the others.

“Okay, okay!” You shouted back as you turned off the spirit box, silence finally filling the room once again. Jungkook didn’t know how, but he could swear you were looking right at him. “It was a journal. You died grabbing his journal.”

#btsghostie #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts ghost au #ghost jungkook #jungkook angst #jungkook humor #bts humor #bts angst

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

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Hey Goldy, i'm positive Yoongi isn't straight and has been fairly open about it from the early years. So do u think that Yoongi could've influenced Jikook (especially Jimin cuz he is very close to him) in any sort of way on their journey?

Jimin is VERY close to Yoongi

Thank you so much for this statement😭

I feel seen and heard🤧

Not a lot of Jokers out here appreciate Yoonmin's bond😭😭😭😭

The disrespect! How dare they!

In reality, Yoonmin is one of the best ships that reflects the hyung dongsaeng dynamic perfectly in BTS in my opinion- Jinkook and Yoonkook, NamTae are heavy contenders I'd say but Yoonmin is right up there with them. Love Jihope too- if they could cut down on the flirting chilee.

No JHOPE I don't want you to call Jimin sexy or look at him like you want to gobble him with a glass of Sprite- it's weird😭😭😭

But also don't stop

From Suga 'bullying' Jimin, teasing him, praising him, mentoring him, the bickering- he is the biggest PJM right next to JK and Namjoon. I said what I said.

So thank you for this. I literally cried.

Feel so good to hear someone say that.

I'm having an existential crisis at the moment and Yoonmin is what is getting me through it at the moment.

People need to stop invalidating the members' bond. Seriously. Not cool. They all have beautiful dynamics real or not.

But he's gay? 🤔

You believe Suga is gay??

Damn.

He's queer and has been pretty open about it from the beginning???

A lot of people assume that about him actually. I think it's interesting.

Did he influence Jikook, Jimin in anyway...

If by influence you mean support then yes. I think he was and has been very supportive of Jimin and JK individually and has helped them embrace and make sense of certain aspects of themselves.

I think he's more understanding than most of the challenges and difficulties of being young and uncertain of who you are growing up under public scrutiny and in a highly hostile environment.

I think he is wise beyond his age and I have a ton of love and respect for him as both a person and an artist.

I love 'People' so much...

I think the most Iconic thing he's said so far to me is this totally woke, fanservice questioning and ridiculing statement:

'I didn't want to wear the maid outfit. I was surprised when they said it's for the fans. We don't have any interest in seeing girls wear men's clothes so why does the fans want us to wear women's clothes?'

It's weird. Fanservice is weird.

My least favorite moment of his is when he admonished JK not to say things like he'd want a tattoo when he grows up because the fans wouldn't like that.

I found that very contradictory for someone who's life motto is nevermind- or is it I don't give a shit?😏

Find it equally triggering whenever he teases JK about crying too much or being a cry baby as if it's wrong for men to cry. There's nothing wrong with shedding tears. Men cry too.

Then the bit about him not wanting tattoos or just a dot on his toe or feet or something because he has things he might want to do post BTS that having a tattoo would just be an inconvenience... quite conservative I'd say.

He don't give a fuck but then he gives a fuck?

Mans gotta be a realist or I'd chalk up these inconsistencies in his values to the clash between his Persona and his real self.

To be fair, he's not the only one. That conflict plays out in almost every member's outlook.

I see Yoongi as that one person who'd say to a person, go for it but end that advice with a caveat such as, 'but understand people will hate you for it' or some truth along those lies.

He places consequences right next to desire and as long as the person is not oblivious to and can bare the consequences of their actions, decisions and choices then I think he'd ask them to go for it and stand in their truth.

That much I know is his value and I can see how that might have impacted both JM and JK. But rather than encourage them to take risks, I think he pushes them to seize opportunities and put themselves outside- there's a difference there. Their not one and the same.

More than anyone in BTS, I think he understands the gravity of being queer, closeted or being in a relationship with a bandmate in the industry they work in.

I think he is much mature enough to understand the consequences of over attachment and risks of detachment and that too plays out in the way Jikook carry themselves around in the group.

Other than that, I think he minds his business most times.

Do I think he is open minded about conversations on sexuality? Absolutely.

But that's as far as I can go on the topic.

I do not believe he is queer and I'm not convinced in anyway he is pansexual or bisexual either- don't quote his song lyrics to me I already know. Lol.

Boy or girl my tongue will send you to hongkong....

And then his interviews about what he finds attractive in women??

'... it's not limited to boys or girls?'

Lolololololololol

I think that bit was heavily misconstrued.

'I'M NOT GAY'

This was his response when he was asked to talk about moments his heart skipped because of JHOPE. Similar to moments when the members had said their they almost fell for a band mate perhaps.

Other translations of that statement he made in the interview was, 'since we are both men, how can my heart throb for a man' and then he laughs it off.

Knowing Suga, I think he probably meant that in the most ridiculing, most mocking way possible- these interviewers be asking some stupid questions sometimes.

But imagine Suga saying that with two gay members sitting right next to him in that interview and how these members would feel hearing him say that about homosexuality.

One thing about BTS, if they be making loud openly 'woke' statements, take a shovel to their past- it's usually because they've messed up somewhere and are simply acting conscious of the things they say that can come across as problematic. In my opinion.

They do learn and grow from their mistakes. That's one thing I love about BTS.

They've all had their problematic moments as I keep saying.

To me, this interview moment would be one of such said problematic moments if not one very homophobic moment of Suga's- if the translations were right I mean. chileee. Lemme shut up. Lol.

And before anyone says but JK said the same thing too...

JK had a 'fear' of coming across as Gay in his early years. Part of the reason he wanted JM on the west of his east when the cameras came around- in my opinion.

He'd stutter when similar 'gay' questions were thrown his way- prompting Jimin to ask him straight away not to answer said question when an interviewer asked him.

You pair that with some of the members describing him as 'wanting to be manly' or appear like a manly man and it's not hard to figure out what was going on with him.

He'd pause and look at JM funny when JM would describe their relationship as in between friends and romance...

Jimin had to tell him to relax and that it was normal for men to say 'love' to men without it being weird or gay.

He knew gayism was a thing. He simply didn't want to be viewed as one- either because of his own repressed homosexual desires, in which case that would be internalized homophobia or he really really didn't like being thought of as gay- homophobia.

Suga's is different.

He either genuinely didn't know gay was a thing or that some men's heart actually beat for other men- seems to me he thought the idea of a man's heart skipping for another man absurd or impossible- or dude thought he was being a smart pants with that remark. Lol.

Baring his age in mind at the time of the interview, that in anyway reflects his ideals or assumptions about sexuality. That heterosexuality is D norm. That straight is all he can be or should be thought of as- He clearly hasn't read the blogs. He's in for a rude awakening.

If JK had this ideology about sexuality I think he would have been able to hide his sexuality better and not freak out each time people made jokes about it💀

Suga's said explicitly he is attracted to gal's who wear headphones, doesn't like gals who play hard to get- said he'd kick em if they didn't quit playing hard to get (misogynistic and abusive lyrics there but it's hiphop- let's not talk about that) finds it ridiculous that men should wear female clothes, thinks 'men' shouldn't cry.... all the making of a fine gay man😃

Should we chalk it up to internalized homophobia then??

I wouldn't.

A very dedicated Sope shipper will tell you, he said what he said to cover the fact he is gay so there's that. Lol.

I'm just not convinced Suga is part of the community but I think he is open minded now, leans less into his conservative values and more towards progressive values and thoughts.

I don't think he in any way shape or form 'influenced' Jikook to be gay or to do the gay if that's what you were asking.

But I do respect your opinion on Suga. I think we are all free to assume whatever we want in this case.

I might be wrong about him. You might be wrong about him or we could all be right. We will never know.

Thanks for the ask.

Wasn't comfortable answering it though. Lol.

I don't like when I have to watch what I say.

Sigh.

Signed,

GOLDY

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hexalt · 4 years ago

Text

CW for discussion of suicide

- She's the crazy ex-girlfriend - What? No, I'm not. - She's the crazy ex-girlfriend - That's a sexist term! - She's the crazy ex-girlfriend - Can you guys stop singing for just a second? - She's so broken insiiiiiide! - The situation's a lot more nuanced than that!

There’s the essay! You get it now. JK.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is the culmination of Rachel Bloom’s YouTube channel (and the song “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury” in particular where she combined her lifelong obsession with musical theatre and sketch comedy and Aline Brosh McKenna stumbling onto Bloom’s channel one night while having an idea for a television show that subverted the tropes in scripts she’d been writing like The Devil Wears Prada and 27 Dresses.

The show begins with a flashback to teenage Rebecca Bunch (played by Bloom) at summer camp performing in South Pacific. She leaves summer camp gushing about the performance, holding hands with the guy she spent all summer with, Josh Chan. He says it was fun for the time, but it’s time to get back to real life. We flash forward to the present in New York, Rebecca’s world muted in greys and blues with clothing as conservative as her hair.

She’s become a top tier lawyer, a career that she doesn’t enjoy but was pushed into by her overprotective, controlling mother. She’s just found out she’s being promoted to junior partner, and that’s just objectively, on paper fantastic, right?! ...So why isn’t she happy? She goes out onto the streets in the midst of a panic attack, spilling her pills all over the ground, and suddenly sees an ad for butter asking, “When was the last time you were truly happy?” A literal arrow and beam of sunlight then point to none other than Josh Chan. She strikes up a conversation with him where he tells her he’s been trying to make it in New York but doesn’t like it, so he’s moving back to his hometown, West Covina, California, where everyone is just...happy.

The word echoes in her mind, and she absorbs it like a pill. She decides to break free of the hold others have had over her life and turns down the promotion of her mother’s dreams. I didn’t realize the show was a musical when I started it, and it’s at this point that Rebecca is breaking out into its first song, “West Covina”. It’s a parody of the extravagant, classic Broadway numbers filled with a children’s marching band whose funding gets cut, locals joining Rebecca in synchronized song and dance, and finishing with her being lifted into the sky while sitting on a giant pretzel. This was the moment I realized there was something special here.

With this introduction, the stage has been set for the premise of the show. Each season was planned with an overall theme. Season one is all about denial, season two is about being obsessed with love and losing yourself in it, season three is about the spiral and hitting rock bottom, and season four is about renewal and starting from scratch. You can see this from how the theme songs change every year, each being the musical thesis for that season.

We start the show with a bunch of cliché characters: the crazy ex-girlfriend; her quirky sidekick; the hot love interest; his bitchy girlfriend; and his sarcastic best friend who’s clearly a much better match for the heroine. The magic of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is that no one in West Covina is the sum of their tropes. As Rachel says herself, “People aren’t badly written, people are made of specificities.”

The show is revolutionary for the authenticity with which it explores various topics but for the sake of this piece, we’ll discuss mental health, gender, Jewish identity, and sexuality. All topics that Bloom has dug into in her previous works but none better than here.

Simply from the title, many may be put off, but this is a story that has always been about deconstructing stereotypes. Rather than being called The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, where the story would be from an outsider’s perspective, this story is from that woman’s point of view because the point isn’t to demonize Rebecca, it’s to understand her. Even if you hate her for all the awful things she’s doing.

The musical numbers are shown to be in Rebecca’s imagination, and she tells us they’re how she processes the world, but as she starts healing in the final season, she isn’t the lead singer so often anymore and other characters get to have their own problems and starring roles. When she does have a song, it’s because she’s backsliding into her former patterns.

While a lot of media will have characters that seem to have some sort of vague disorder, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend goes a step further and actually diagnoses Rebecca with Borderline Personality Disorder, while giving her an earnest, soaring anthem. She’s excited and relieved to finally have words for what’s plagued her whole life.

When diagnosing Rebecca, the show’s team consulted with doctors and psychiatrists to give her a proper diagnosis that ended up resonating with many who share it. BPD is a demonized and misunderstood disorder, and I’ve heard that for many, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is the first honest and kind depiction they’ve seen of it in media. Where the taboo of mental illness often leads people to not get any help, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend says there is freedom and healing in identifying and sharing these parts of yourself with others.

Media often uses suicide for comedy or romanticizes it, but Crazy Ex-Girlfriend explored what’s going through someone’s mind to reach that bottomless pit. Its climactic episode is written by Jack Dolgen (Bloom’s long-time musical collaborator, co-songwriter and writer for the show) who’s dealt with suicidal ideation. Many misunderstood suicide as the person simply wanting to die for no reason, but Rebecca tells her best friend, “I didn’t even want to die. I just wanted the pain to stop. It’s like I was out of stories to tell myself that things would be okay.”

Bloom has never shied away from heavy topics. The show discusses in song the horrors of what women do to their bodies and self-esteem to conform to beauty standards, the contradiction of girl power songs that tell you to “Put Yourself First” but make sure you look good for men while doing it, and the importance of women bonding over how terrible straight men are are near and dear to her heart. This is a show that centers marginalized women, pokes fun at the misogyny they go through, and ultimately tells us the love story we thought was going to happen wasn’t between a woman and some guy but between her and her best friend.

I probably haven’t watched enough Jewish TV or film, but to me, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is the most unapologetic and relatable Jewish portrayal I’ve seen overall. From Rebecca’s relationship with her toxic, controlling mother (if anyone ever wants to know what my mother’s like, I send them “Where’s the Bathroom”) to Patti Lupone’s Rabbi Shari answering a Rebecca that doesn’t believe in God, “Always questioning! That is the true spirit of the Jewish people,” the Jewish voices behind the show are clear.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend continues to challenge our perceptions when a middle-aged man with an ex-wife and daughter realizes he’s bisexual and comes out in a Huey Lewis saxophone reverie. The hyper-feminine mean girl breaks up with her boyfriend and realizes the reason she was so obsessed with getting him to commit to her is the same reason she’s so scared to have female friends. She was suffering under the weight of compulsory heterosexuality, but thanks to Rebecca, she eventually finds love and friendship with women.

This thread is woven throughout the show. Many of the characters tell Rebecca when she’s at her lowest of how their lives would’ve never changed for the better if it wasn’t for her. She was a tornado that blew through West Covina, but instead of leaving destruction in her wake, she blew apart their façades, forcing true introspection into what made them happy too.

Rebecca’s story is that of a woman who felt hopeless, who felt no love or happiness in her life, when that’s all she’s ever wanted. She tried desperately to fill that void through validation from her parents and random men, things romantic comedies had taught her matter most but came up empty. She tried on a multitude of identities through the musical numbers in her mind, seeing herself as the hero and villain of the story, and eventually realized she’s neither because life doesn’t make narrative sense.

It takes her a long time but eventually she sees that all the things she thought would solve her problems can’t actually bring her happiness. What does is the real family she finds in West Covina, the town she moved to on a whim, and finally having agency over herself to use her own voice and tell her story through music.

The first words spoken by Rebecca are, “When I sang my solo, I felt, like, a really palpable connection with the audience.” Her last words are, “This is a song I wrote.” This connection with the audience that brought her such joy is something she finally gets when she gets to perform her story not to us, the TV audience, but to her loved ones in West Covina. Rebecca (and Rachel) always felt like an outcast, West Covina (and creating the show) showed her how cathartic it is to find others who understand you.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is the prologue to Rebecca’s life and the radical story of someone getting better. She didn’t need to change her entire being to find acceptance and happiness, she needed to embrace herself and accept love and help from others who truly cared for her. Community is what she always needed and community is what ultimately saved her.

P.S. If you have Spotify... I also process life through music, so I made some playlists related to the show because what better way to express my deep affection for it than through song?

CXG parodies, references, and is inspired by a lot of music from all kinds of genres, musicals, and musicians. Same goes for the videos themselves. I gathered all of them into one giant playlist along with the show’s songs.

A Rebecca Bunch mix that goes through her character arc from season 1 to 4.

I’m shamelessly a fan of Greg x Rebecca, so this is a mega mix of themselves and their relationship throughout the show.

I’m in a TV group where we wrote essays on our favorite shows of the 2010s, so here is mine on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I realized I forgot to ever post it. Also wrote one for Schitt’s Creek.

#crazy ex girlfriend #crazyexedit #cxg #ceg #crazy ex gf #writing #mine #mental illness #bpd #mental health #spotify #music #playlist #essay #*

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skyemak · 4 years ago

Note

Hi Skye!! 👁️✨ May I request a first kiss scenario with Jade? I'm so soft and you said you want fluffy ideas so maybe a little hand h*lding too...? Haha jk... unless..??

Take a Hike

Yuu sat at her desk, absentmindedly poking the eraser head of her pencil on her cheek. Laid before her was her homework for the night, which was almost finished. She sat on her stiff chair with one leg crossed over the other. Her foot did not quite touch the ground, and she kicked it around as a means to fidget. The girl stared out the window, not because there was anything quite worth seeing outside, but due to the rain outside. Droplets of water hit her bedroom window, and occasional bursts of lightning would light up grounds through this dusk. From the other side of the room, she heard grumbling from her roommate. Most likely he was frustrated with the homework assigned to him. Yuu knew how to pace her homework over a period of time, but Grim was one to put off things until last minute.

Heaving a sigh, Yuu set down her pencil and grabbed for her phone. She lightly tapped the power button to turn the screen on. No new messages. No notifications. Nothing. Dejectedly, she set the phone back down on her desk, and leaned back in her chair. Of course Yuu wasn’t expecting any messages, but she felt disappointed, nonetheless. A few weeks ago, she had approached Jade, and confessed her feelings to him. The girl was doubtful he would reciprocate, but figured it’d be no skin off her nose. She’d just get it off her chest and move on with life. Unexpectedly, after a time to ponder to himself, Jade said it sounded interesting, and agreed to be in a romantic relationship with Yuu. At the time, the girl’s heart had leapt out of her chest, and she was all smiles for a week. Afterward, however, no matter what Yuu would try, he’d never be available to make time for her.

Go for a walk after class? He’d have plans.

Meet up before class started for the day? He’d have plans.

Eat together at lunch? He, too, rejected that idea, mentioning something about not wanting to make their relationship public.

“It doesn’t even exist in private…” Yuu muttered to herself. Did he not know what it means to humans to be in a relationship? Is it different underseas? She grabbed her pencil again and flipped threw a few pages of her textbook. After finding the page she searched for, Yuu looked toward the window again, contemplating the thought that, perhaps Jade was just trying to be nice. Perhaps he didn’t want to date but didn’t want to outright reject her. Maybe he was just avoiding her until she called it off?

“Maybe I’ll just call it off tomorrow,” Yuu mumbled, returning her focus to her notebook. “One more question, then bed… Then I’ll ask if he wants to cut it off tomorrow…”

The girl couldn’t deny the squeezing feeling in her chest upon that thought, but found she had no other means to approach the situation.

-----

“Hey—Grim! Wait up!” Yuu called.

“You’re the one being slow!” Grim called back, about five meters ahead of her.

“There’s mud puddles everywhere!” she complained.

The night before brought more rainfall than anticipated. Throughout the path to school were a series of puddles. Not wanting to slip and fall into a puddle, the girl was being very careful to watch her steps.

“You’re gonna be late at that rate!”

“Well some of us can’t fly!”

Grim only responded with a laugh and continued to get farther away. With luck on her side, Yuu found herself with a few minutes to spare before class. As she powerwalked through the hallway, she was surprised to see a certain figure standing by her classroom door.

“Jade?”

“Oh, there you are,” he smiled toward her, walking a few steps in her direction.

“What’re you doing here?” A bit embarrassingly, Yuu was panting due to the hurry she was in. She tried to hide it but—

“In a bit of a rush this morning?”

“Uh, well—kinda,” Yuu averted Jade’s gaze, and timidly tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Oya, there must have been quite a lot of rain last night,” he chuckled to himself. “Speaking of rain, this weekend I was considering going mushroom hunting. The next few days will be a bit cool as well, so I expect to find quite a few. Would you care to join me?”

Yuu shot a look of surprise toward Jade, “Wha—?”

“That is if you’re interested,” he grabbed his chin and looked a bit bashful. “We’d leave early morning and expect not to return until evening. It’s similar to that of an all-day hike. Oh—of course we’d have food and water to nourish ourselves throughout the day.” He glanced toward Yuu expectantly.

Was…Was he asking her out on a date!? Yuu was astonished. Until now, she thought he wasn’t that interested in dating and was ready to break things off. Now she found her heart beating loudly in her chest and her cheeks flush a light shade of pink. The girl’s hair bounced as he vigorously nodded towards Jade. “Yeah! I’ll go! I’d love to!”

The eel smiled elatedly, “I’m glad to hear it. I’ll send you some advice and resources later in preparation. Now then, class is about to start, and I must be on my way. Until then.” Jade turned to leave and strolled in the direction of his classroom. Yuu could hear her heartbeat ring through her eardrums as she watched him leave.

-----

True to his word, Jade had messaged Yuu some advice and helpful tips for the upcoming Saturday. Yuu was all smiles when she opened her phone to find new messages from him. The message did not stray from the plans they had made, but she was happy to finally have something to talk about with Jade. Before and after school, she’d ask him a few questions here and there related to what she should bring or wear. His face would always light up with a smile when Yuu’d ask. Seeing him so excited about his hobbies made him seem so precious. On top of that, Yuu felt special to be invited along his adventures.

“Tomorrow is the day~” the girl hummed to herself. She laid on her bed on her stomach, reading through a few sources on her phone relevant to the next day. Yuu eagerly kicked her feet in the air as she read her screen. Eventually, she called it a night and double checked her alarm for the next morning before putting her phone away.

-----

“Oya, you look more prepared than I was expecting,” Jade commented at the sight of Yuu. He wore long black pants, a lightweight jacket, and a set of hiking boots. Hung over his shoulders was a hiking bag, presumingly stored with their food and water for the day. Yuu’s outfit was similar, also with a lightweight jacket, dark gray pants, along with her own set of durable hiking boots. She made a grin and posed. “Yup! I listened to all your advice!”

Jade chuckled pleasingly. “I see. Then, shall we be off?” He turned toward the mountainous landscape before them. “Yeah!” Yuu scampered toward him.

With the sunrise being only a few hours prior, the air felt chill as it brushed over Yuu’s face. The wind was not too strong that morning, but the girl was grateful she wore a windbreaker jacket to keep the cold air from penetrating her deeper. The ground was vast with evergreen trees, moss-covered rocks, and what sounded to be a small stream nearby. As they stepped through the grass, tips of the blades of grass still held some morning dew, causing the tops of their hiking boots became damp. The ground underneath was still cold and moist too. Yuu had to be cautious while she walked, since the terrain was rougher than she least expected. The girl was careful to follow Jade’s lead; he seemed to be very experienced with the area, or at least was good at adapting to changes of the topography.

Jade was quite thrilled when they found their first batch of mushrooms at the trunk of a nearby tree. He sweetly hummed to himself as he pinched the cap from its stem and placed it into a mesh bag. Yuu noted in her research the reason for the mesh bag was to help spread spores from the mushrooms to encourage more growth.

The morning was spent 90% walking and 10% actually finding and picking mushrooms. Jade found a number of different fungi growing about, but Yuu only managed to spot one before he did. Unfortunately for Yuu, the mushrooms she did find, Jade had said they were inedible. Her heart sank when she found out, and her mood began to spiral downward. Hours had passed since they began the day and her feet began to feel sore. He had mentioned bringing along food but had only given her a water bottle. Yuu’s stomach felt like it was about to concave from hunger, and she was hoping he’d propose a break soon.

However, a break never came. About twenty minutes after her thought of taking a break, he only offered her two granola bars from his backpack and kept trudging along. Jade seemed to be excited about the plentiful findings of the day, but more and more Yuu began to feel ignored. He’d run away without warning when he saw a bundle of mushrooms growing from the ground. When Yuu caught up to him, Jade would already be done picking them and continue on his way. Her legs grew sorer and more exhausted. She already had to quicken her pace to keep up with his longer stride, but eventually she let herself fall behind, doubting he’d even notice.

At some point, in the middle of a small forest, Yuu found a dead log to sit on. The log felt hard against her bottom, but it was a great relief for her legs. She could feel what she could presume would develop into blisters ache around her feet. The sun was overhead at this time, and rays of sunlight lit up spots of the forest floor. The girl held her head in her hands and leaned her elbows on her knees. Her eyes traced Jade’s movements as he waved through the trees, north to south, south to west, west to east, etc. Occasionally she’d see him pause at a certain spot ten meters away to crouch down and pick from another finding.

Yuu sighed, dejectedly scraping the heels of her boots into the forest ground. She felt forgotten about and questioned if he’d even remembered inviting her out here. It’d be unfortunate for her, but she wouldn’t be shocked if he left her in that forest alone. She laid her palms down behind her and leaned back on top of the log. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come…” she mumbled. Yuu absently stared at her surroundings, admiring the forest and its beauty. At least it was a nice day out and she was getting fresh air…

Abruptly, Yuu felt a bug crawl over one of her hands on the log and yelped in surprise. She shook her hand furiously and turned around to see what the culprit may have been, but what actually caught her eyes was—

“Oh, a fairy ring,” Yuu said. From behind, she heard a set of footsteps approach. When she turned around, she saw Jade walking toward her.

“You shrieked earlier, Yuu. Are you okay?” he asked.

“Jade!” she excitedly called out to him, “Look at this! I’m surprised you didn’t see this!”

Yuu hopped off the log and walked a few meters. She approached a cluster of mushrooms in a circle formation. “There’s a fairy ring over here!” she smiled gleefully, crouching down beside it.

“A fairy ring?” he asked quizzically. Jade climbed over the log and walked toward her. “I only see a collection of mushrooms though?” The eel crouched down beside her. “Though I’m unfamiliar with this species…” He reached down to pick one, but Yuu pushed his hand away. “No, you’re not supposed to disturb the ring!”

Jade blinked toward her, astonished she had made that sudden movement. “Why?”

Yuu grinned ecstatically. “Heehee~ You don’t know?” she teased. “I just read about them last night. There’s a bunch of different beliefs surrounding them. Some say fairies will dance around the ring, or sit on the mushrooms to use for tables, or for umbrellas. The ring might also be a portal between the fairy world and this world—though we have fairies here so that may not be the case?”

“Ohhhh?” Jade smiled as he balanced his cheek on his fist. He was smiling toward her, but she did not notice.

“But don’t step into the ring!” Yuu continued. “You might die young, become invisible to the mortal world, or be unable to escape the ring. I don’t remember the details, but you’re also not supposed to disturb the ring.”

“I see. It’s a good thing I brought you here, otherwise I may have taken all these mushrooms and endangered myself to an early death,” Jade said.

Yuu giggled, “Well, I’m not sure how much of that is true though.” She stared down toward the mushrooms, absently holding out her finger as if too poke one. Jade smoothly grabbed her hand and used it as leverage to pull Yuu closer to him. Suddenly, she felt his warm lips over hers. He placed a hand on the side over her head to cradle and pull her in closer. Yuu’s eyes were wide in shock at first, and her chest felt like it was going to burst. Eventually, however, she found herself leaning into the kiss, and shut her eyes. His lips felt soft on hers, but as the kiss continued, he almost seemed…hungry.

After a few moments, Jade withdrew his lips, but Yuu found herself leaning closer toward him in a futile attempt to continue. Her eyes fluttered open as he lightly traced his fingertip down her jaw and to her chin. With a teasing smirk on his face, he whispered, “Don’t you disturb the ring either. I can’t let you be whisked away or see an early death.”

The girl’s face flushed red as she stared into Jade’s affectionate eyes. Yuu was so happy she decided to tag along.

“Now then, my dear,” Jade stood up and grabbed Yuu’s hand to help her up as well. “I must apologize for my behavior today. I was so entrapped by the numerous findings, I neglected you. You don’t have much experience with hiking around all day, so I’m sure your feet are sore.”

Yuu shook her head, “N-No! It’s fine! I’m fine!”

Jade made a bitter smile and shook his head this time. “Either way, thank you for coming with me today. I’ve already filled two bags in half a day, which must be a record. Yuu, you must be a good luck charm.” He beamed, and Yuu could feel her heart skip a beat. “Let’s call it a day here. I’ll cook you something with the mushrooms I found today as thanks.”

“Okay…” she mumbled, coyly twirling her hair.

Jade led Yuu on a path for the way back to Night Raven College. This time around, when Jade walked in front of her, he’d occasionally look back to make sure she was not too far behind him. When he saw she was a few meters away, he’d wait in his tracks for her to catch up before continuing on. Part of the path included a steep hill that made it difficult to descend. He had warned her to watch her step, but along the way, she lost her footing and fell on her behind.

“Ow ow ow…” Yuu groaned.

“Are you okay? You must have lost your footing,” Jade walked up to her and offered his hand. Yuu nodded and reached for his hand. The eel helped her to her feet and kept a hold of her hand. He guided her the rest of the way down the hill until a flatter area.

However, he did not let go of her hand. Jade’s finger’s were entwined with hers. Yuu glanced toward their hands then up toward him. He just smiled back at her, “This way you don’t fall again, or at least, I’ll use that as an excuse.” Yuu felt her heart pound and her face grow hot. She squeezed his hand a bit and felt a smile grow on her face.

The two continued to hold hands for the rest of the trip home.

-----

There you are taku! 🥰

#twst imagines #twisted wonderland #twst #jade leech #twst jade

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foxymoxynoona · 3 years ago

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(1/3) Belle & Sasha are Exasperating anon here (BASE anon?): thanks for replying! It's so interesting to see how you view your responsibility to readers as including protecting them from perceived slights in the comments! Tbh as a reader-writer I see comments as extremely optional engagement for me let alone my readers bc that's content that is unmoderated and untagged, the wild west. But us neurodivergent folks have to get good at dealing w places far crueler than fic comment sections anyway

2/3) BASE anon: + I do think saying ‘X is annoying’ is a fine way to express frustration w a character or narrative BUT I think a fundamental difference in how we view writing stories is I don't believe fiction should be didactic or provide a how-to on recovery, and that's fine! that’s not what I’m interested in, nor do I project on Belle’s experience but clearly some of your readers do and have diff needs eg the very heated response to my last ask where I was accused of wanting JK to myself!

3/3) BASE anon: Lol maybe it needs to be said that I’m not out here thinking I’m ‘better’ than Belle (a fictional character...) for my ego or badmouthing her bc I think I'll marry JK? So in a way I do understand your pov now because there are apparently readers who have very different expectations of your fic than me. This is getting too long so I'll leave it here. Have a great one foxy!

----------------------

My engagement hasn't really been a chivalric need to protect anyone from anything. I always respond to every ask I get (unless it just feels trolling). I do like to discuss and explain the themes i write about, especially because I receive a lot of comments like "I never knew this! or this is beyond my experience! or I never thought about this before!" People want to talk to me about those things, which are often things I don't think people talk about enough, so we talk. I like critical thought and learning about other people's experiences, and readers share so much of themselves with me in response to my stories! It's incredible! I am restored when I get comments that are like "oh geez, I thought I was alone! But I really identify with this and I never see this represented!"

In most cases, I refrain from telling anyone they have misunderstood a character or misunderstood my story, because I think people can read a story however they want and take from it what they want and I only have so much power to actually get my intended message across. People read stories for different purposes, and expect different things from stories. I think all "purposes" of stories are great. I actually find it really satisfying to see when people respond differently to the same scene because human experience is so vast and it means I've (hopefully) managed to write something that has depth and emotional weight.

However I do like to clarify with readers when their expectations are not aligned with the story I'm writing, especially if they send me critical or negative remarks about how I'm writing a story that just isn't going to align with what they're looking for, because I don't want to waste their time or frankly, my own. It's emotionally draining to get negative comments from readers who have ignored tags, warnings, and author's notes and now are unhappy that you're doing the thing you said you were doing. I didn't set out to write instruction manuals about recovering from trauma, but I also didn't set out to write stories that would appeal necessarily to what media presents as "mainstream." I'm just writing what I want to read, that tackle some of the problems I am tired of seeing in the shows and books I consume.

The thing that's honestly missing from some of these comments that I wish was there is analysis. There was an early comment that said JK needed to stop apologizing for things that Isabella made up in her mind. I broke down all the apologies in the chapter trying to understand what they meant, and couldn't see it. If someone is having a negative response but doesn't really want to discuss or dig in on why/where that's coming from/etc., then I'm a bit at a loss on the response they're expecting. And if they aren't expecting a response, what was the purpose of sending me a direct message that they're unhappy? If they don't want to talk about it with me but came from ao3 to my blog to send me a message, what's the reason they did that? Maybe I should just ignore things more but I've tried to view these as opportunities for thoughtful discussion.

There are readers thinking critically about character motivations and actions and context and that is awesome, and I don't mind having difficult, loaded conversations about those. It’s not like Isabella’s behavior is being presented as happy, healthy, and final here! A lot of people send me reactions without much context and I can ignore those or I can try to tease out why they are feeling that way, so we can have a discussion about it. Maybe it makes someone think differently about something they've never understood. Maybe it makes someone decide they just don't like a character and this story is a waste of their time. Maybe there's something I've written wrong or badly or mistakenly in my story, something that didn't land the way I intended.

To your point about the wild west: It really is. I used to have to moderate social media for my job and I was so glad to stop that. Now I could definitely ignore more comments, but I feel like responding to the positive and ignoring the critical isn't what I want either, especially when I am intentionally writing challenging things I want people to think critically about. So kinda damned if I do, damned if I don't.

OKKKK sorry this was even longer than yours! Like I said... I like discussion and details!

#asks #amended #mywriting #myao3 #anonymous

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ellidoesstuff · 4 years ago

Text

“So What’s Band Like” pt. 2

aka random stuff people in my marching band have done but make it reminiscing on my freshman marching season edition and more focused on general events then what specific people have done

okay so like just to cover bases that one good percussionist from part one is the only percussionist that continued on into high school band

which is a fucking upgrade if you ask me

also i’m the only flute of my grade so i was flute baby™ last year

and then oboe baby when concert season came around

or as i like to call it

boboe™

oh and don’t fool yourself into thinking we have an oboe section either

it’s literally just me and my friend

anyway lets get deeper in to it then your boyfriend/S.O will ever be in you

or then you’ll ever be in your girlfriend/S.O

I ain’t gonna assume your situation

first band competition of the year we got stuck in a very hot band bus in a thunderstorm for like probably over an hour

we ended up being one of the only bands that actually stayed and performed which was cool

what was also cool is that we sang the 99 bottles of beer on the wall song and actually made it to 0

i’m also proud to say that one of the people who started that was my crush at the time, and my boyfriend now

how chaotic of him

but then again

he’s a percussionist

also my section leaders piccolo decided to just d i e and she couldn’t play for our entire performance at that competition

moving on

catch us drooling over a 200 plus member band at an away game with an elaborate Aladdin themed show

that same band played megalovania as a stand tune and when I say my band dropped all conversation and bopped to that shit I mean it

also the sunset that night looked like the teletubbie sunrise

when i informed my now boyfriend and my section leader of this they both looked at me like “why the fuck did you just ruin that beautiful sunset”

it is what it is

one time we had a flute hangout after school and before a Friday night away football game

except make it like the flute section featuring the alto sax section leader and my now boyfriend (who if you don’t remember is a percussionist)

oh and also briefly featuring one of our drum majors from last year and a trombonist

anyway we ate little caesars pizza at a playground in a neighborhood near the school

we also played on said playground

in the process putting my kermit plushie, who will most likely be a reoccurring character in this series, in the baby swing and pushing him

we then made friendship bracelets but my now boyfriend didn’t know how

so i did what anyone who knows how to make friendship bracelets and who’s crushing on someone who doesn’t know how to make friendship bracelets would do

i taught him how to make friendship bracelets

we also sat on the band bus together to and from that nights away game where I continued to help him make a friendship bracelet and then we looked at memes on the way back

some of them were funny, some of them weren’t

i laughed at all of them

why?

because i was and am…

a fucking simp

we hosted a competition the same day that we marched a two mile parade so basically everyone went home and crashed that night

Me, my friend, and my now boyfriend spent like over fifteen minutes trying to find this one band just so we could hand them a single candygram to give to some kid

that kid better have appreciated that candygram

My two friends and I also received a joint airgram from our moms so we all prompted to split the tiny piece of card stock into three and we each have a piece

It’s almost like a friendship bracelet

but one hundred times easier to loose

moving onto big boy competition territory

aka the Atlantic Coastal Championships

or at least i think that’s what ACC stands for

We were the first people to perform that day so we had to wake up at the ass crack of dawn to get to the competition in time

Like legit imagine a bunch of tired band kids on a school bus at 6am

It was actually kind of nice and very quiet

My now boyfriend and I watched Coraline on my chromebook on the way there

We also watched Coco on the way back but we aren’t there yet

I brought my Kermit plushie, as I should’ve, but he did not escape unscathed

My now boyfriend accidentally dropped him in his spilled chocolate milkshake which had made a fairly accurate rendition of Willy Wonka’s chocolate river on the stands

He was more upset about it then I was honestly and apologized a bunch while frantically trying to scrub the chocolate stain out of Kermit’s green plush flesh with his jeans

My now boyfriend also decided to spin Kermit up in the air like a helicopter and Kermit nearly flew over the back end of the bleachers since we were sat in the top row

Luckily he didn’t fly over but we quickly stopped throwing him around and Kermit promptly sat on the bleachers next to us for the rest of ACCs

Moving forward, I would highlight the game directly after I actually got together with my boyfriend but not a single fucking thing happened

Other then the fact that the concession stand ran out of hot chocolate

But not before my boyfriend, our two friends, and I could get our hands on some

Flash forward, our football team, in an act of what was probably some form of witchcraft or just downright luck, qualified for playoffs and the first playoff game was a FOUR HOUR drive away

They really said “okay everybody lets travel to the other side of the state for a single football game”

And before you say “well it would take a lot longer to get to the other side of my state!”

pack it up west coast/midwest

I live on the east coast our states are t i n y

we had to leave for this game in the middle of the school day right after lunch which meant i had to bring two separate book bags to school that day

one bag for band and one bag for school

regardless we drove on the bus through mountains and trees for four hours before stopping off to have dinner at some rando restaurant

and no offense to old white people but like it must have been senior night or some shit because when I tell you the only people in that restaurant were like 70 to 80 band kids and a bunch of old white people I am not joking

It was terrifying

And I mean like I’m not inherently scared of old white people

But what I am is non-binary growing up in a conservative area of a conservative state

And I was also holding the hand of my wonderful boyfriend who happens to be a person of color

I was scared I was about to be hate crimed

Or he was about to get hate crimed

Luckily I think the fact that we were part of a flock of like 80 other teenagers all wearing red shirts and sweatpants scared them off

Or maybe they didn’t even notice and my social anxiety just said “they’re looking at you, love ;)” when they probably weren’t

We also ran the ice cream machine at that place dry

Anyway this was like November and it was super fucking cold outside so the home schools band invited us inside the school building when we got there since it was still a bit before the game

I got to talk to some of the flutes and they were super chill

We also made this weird ass dance circle where we went back and forth doing steps that I forget but remind me of the cotton eyed joe for some reason

Maybe that’s what we were dancing?

I don’t remember I just know like the entire low brass section plus a select group of the upper woodwinds/percussion were all in on it

I also remember what I think was one of the flutes looking at me and my boyfriend who was hugging me from behind and being very physically affectionate, as he usually is, and mentioning something about wondering what instrument he played

If in some miraculous event you are reading this mystery flute girl, he’s a percussionist

you’re welcome

Nothing really stands out about the game itself other then how fucking cold it was and the fact that our football team won…

by a single point

We then all enjoyed the four hour ride back to the school

Most people spent it sleeping as it was like ten pm

Yeah you do the math we left at like 10pm

JK I’m not gonna make you do math we got back to the school at like 2am

Also notice how I said most people spent it sleeping

I probably would have been one of those people

However my lovely boyfriend, who again I do love, decided that a can of Mountain Dew at 10pm was a good idea

Baby, I love you, but why

10pm is too late for a Mountain Dew

We did end up sleeping for like an hour tho which was nice while it lasted

But then we had the glorious “Everyone we are about thirty minutes away from the school please call your parents to come pick you up” wake up call from our band director

And when I tell you that in that moment it felt like I was in between two different plains of existence

I am not kidding

It is a very interesting vibe

Anyway I apologize for how painfully long that was but I literally could go into so much more detail. This is just grazing the surface of the experience that was my freshman marching season. However, I’m stopping myself here. If for some reason you want to read more of this and aren’t willing to wait for me to make the part three that will be directed toward this years socially distanced band season, you can read the first one of these which has a remarkably funnier collection of events and a lot less cussing. What can I say, I was an eighth grader in middle school band with an instructor who was very lenient on what we did when we weren’t playing. Until next time, this has been Elliot, signing off until i inevitably find something else interesting to share with the internet.

#band #band kids #marching season #marching band #band geek #band class

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queensdivas · 5 years ago

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Hidden Blade Chapter 3

Okay. This is one long ass chapter so be prepared. It’s about 5k if that shows you how much fun I had with this. So. Have a blanket, cheez-its, some water, a shot of absinthe and ready to have some good ass writing! Jk my writing sucks but some of y’all like it for some reason?

Also! I’m going to be writing a Eugene Sledge fic if y’all haven’t heard yet. Please message me directly if you would like to be tagged it in. It’s gonna be good and I can feel it in my soul that this one is gonna hit home. (If you don’t believe in my historical fiction writing. Read 39’ and The Great Mazzello).

ALSO! Never drink absinthe straight up! It’s way too strong for the human body. Here’s an article. www.absinthes.com/en/themag/the-absinthe-ritual/how-to-drink-absinthe-4760

Next Chapter

Previous Chapter

Dear God he looks like he snorted about 5 grams of cocaine and thought it would be a good idea to turn into Susan! Does he have a tennis ball in his crotch? Dear God what the flying fuck is going on? At Least two looks somewhat natural in her role while three just looks, he looks like a California surfer douche who thought the new trend of the year was tennis! Okay I’m done for now.

So. Now for the plan of action. One is heading to the track to listen in on the conversation with the Generals and the dealer. Once they get done with the trade, four and I followed him to wherever he’s keeping the gas, kill the supplier, destroy the supplies, and then come back to the hotel for a long time in the jacuzzi!

We sat in the parking lot of the race track with the engine off waiting for one to give us the cue. We needed to fit in today, so one bought a Hennessey Venom GT, while Four and I looked like something you would see on the cover of Afar Magazine. Yet we sit here in our usual clothes of sports pants, thin shirts, tennis shoes, and a crap ton of water and Powerade in the back. Ready to go kill an arms dealer!

I read over the binder again as these instructions we’re becoming a little more easier. Let me give you the spark note version. So you pop the hood off the chamber of where the gas is stored. They put the gas into a very fragile glass tube so if we break the glass we’re kind of fucked. But anyhow. You have to disarm the tube it’s around so that it will dispense the gas.

Remember the really cool scene in Jurassic Park where that dude was putting the Dino DNA or whatever into the bottle of shaving cream? Basically that except we have multiple bottles of shaving cream to move, a very small window before more people show up to kill us, no park to keep the power running, and no threat of dinosaurs. Just people with really big guns!

So after moving the gas from the compound to the desert, which is where five and seven come into play. We found an abandoned bomb shelter from where the US Government was testing in the 50s all the way up until the 90s. One obviously bought it so we toss it down there and destroy it.

That’s the plan. Disarm the gas, take it from the compound, throw it in a bunker and keep Turgistan away from their gas attacks. Sounds pretty easy doesn’t it? But if Florence turned into the shit show that I read on Google then we’re totally fucked!

“You ever wonder why rich ass holes have to have loud race cars?” I asked as I closed the binder.

“I mean. When you truly think about it, a lot of old rich white dudes have tiny penises. And what do tiny penis people do?” He’s got a good point.

“They cause world wars and bomb their own country.” One butted into our conversation as we saw the dealer begin walking out of the track.

“You guys got a lock on him?” One asked as Four turned on the car.

“Yup. He just got into his SUV. Meet ya in the desert, over and out.” I pressed the button for the convertible hood to move back on top as Four revved the engine a little bit. He licked his lips as he was so damn eager to floor the accelerator. We waited for the SUV to almost get out of sight.

“Just don’t be stupid because I get kind of CAR SICK!” He floored it leaving a trail of smoke behind us and the smell of burned rubber. OH god I get car sick and this is a very smooth ride!

He had his five minutes of glory till we caught up to the SUV but being a few cars behind him. Trying not to look suspicious obviously which is easier than it sounds because we were behind two other very big sport cars. My stomach on the other hand is not have it’s five minutes of gloRY! Four made a sharp turn off the strip as I felt my stomach turn into more knots. Oh dear god. You’re on a smooth ride in a plane, with slight turbulence because a bumpy ride is a fun ride! A bumpy ride is a fun ride!

“Why don’t we turn on the radio.” I nervous laughed as I turned on the radio to get a blast of Elvis Presley through the speakers! TOO MUCH VIVA LAS VEGAS! Quickly changing the station to first classical music, then Mexican rap, and then finally a regular radio station. Which lead to Four turning it off because absolutely nothing good was playing.

“Well shit. Sadly nothing good is on. Do you do any pregame music for this or just go head on in?” I asked him as we began leaving the Vegas strip and out into the desert. One couldn’t find a house layout of this dudes place which is kind of shocking because I thought a billionaire could get anything! Four slowed down as the last car that was blocking us disappeared.

“Usually I’d rather just go head on in.” He was taping on the steering wheel with his leg really shaking hardcore. Is he getting nervous? Didn’t think anyone in this squad gets nervous since about all of us are hardcore killers! Well he is a thief so that kind of makes sense because I imagine killing people isn’t something he usually did in his career.

“Hey. I imagine this isn’t the first time you’ve broken into a dangerous compound, wanna know what I do before I get nervous?” He turned his head to me as I reached into my bag to pull out a bottle of Absinthe Eichelberger and two shot glasses.

“Takes the nerves away. Once we make it to the compound we’ll have a shot so that the Green Fairy will give us great fortune.” The SUV turned into what looked like a large fortress as we continued on, so we didn’t look suspicious towards them. We kept going until we were about a mile away as I pulled out my binoculars to watch them enter in the code to open the gate. Damn it! Can’t get a good look from this far. Get to it in a minute after a shot.

I poured us a shot then added some water to make sure we get the full affect. I handed him the glass as we clink our glasses together then down the hatch! Ah that’ll do it! We climbed out of the car to open the truck for our bags. He threw on his satchel as I for my book bag. I looked through my binoculars again to start the counting of the security cameras.

One..three..seven..nine..twelve and it looks like the only side the cameras that is somewhat accessible is the west side of the compound. There’s some type of tree that easily blocks one of the cameras. So. There’s about two ways we can do this and be successful. We can either A, we climb on the south side of the fence and find the gas. Or B, we try to get through with our car and possibly get shot since we don’t look familiar whatsoever. I’m going to with Plan A.

“So the westside has the least amount of the cameras and the best point of entry.” I told Four as he popped open the back of the trunk and threw his book bag on as I reached for my bag. Throwing it on my shoulders as he closed the door and locking it.

“You ready?” I asked as we began doing some quick stretching and loosen up the tension.

“Always.” We looked over at each other for a split moment as he looked a little scared. Me? Totally not shitting my pants over the fact I’m robbing a toxic compound.

We darted towards the west side as he followed the direction of the security camera. It began turning towards the opposite direction towards one of the other cameras. We made it to the wall as it turned the other direction. Just in time. Phew. I looked straight up as I got into my bag for the chalk powder, pouring a little on my hands then passing it to over to Four.

“So how do you scale walls then?” He asked as I looked straight up the wall. This place is definitely old so the walls have the knocks and crannies for an experienced climber to do their thing.

“Quickly yet carefully. You first.” Telling him as he didn’t move an inch up the wall.

“No you.” I don’t wanna go first! I’m new to the team! Newbies go last!

“No you!” We stood in front of each other till he reached into his pocket and pulled out a penny.

“Heads you go first. Tails I go.” He flipped the coin, caught it, then showed it before us. Tails!

“Yes! Have fun. Don’t die.” I chuckled at him. He groaned as he began climbing up the wall as I began planning my scale up the wall. He reached the top, looking over the wall to then motioned for me to follow up. I began climbing as he hopped over the wall to land in bushes.

“OW! Pointy!” As I looked down to see him crawling out of the pointy bush. I looked to make sure no guards were looking over in our direction. I climbed then fell straight into the bush for a not so soft landing.

“Gaaahh.” I whispered as I quickly crawled out then behind the massive palm tree. A few people came out of the SUV then more out of the house. A fat man came walking out with his hands opened wide to the dealer himself.

“You made the deal!” One of the men cheered as the dealer clapped his hands.

“Tell ya what. We finish some of the work then we head back to Vegas for a trip.” They laughed amongst themselves as we began moving towards the back of the compound. If this is where they make it, then I’m assuming they’re storing it in the basement of the compound because there’s no way this dude lives here, it’s not nice enough and it’s right outside of Vegas.

“Okay. So the gas is either in the basement of this building or it’s even back more of the compound.” He pointed to the side where it kept going way more.

“Alright. You check this house, I’ll head further back to see what we got.” We nodded till we noticed more people were coming out of the house, music started playing, and even a mariachi band came out? Two guards came walking by where we were then stopping a few feet away from us.

“So they got all the gas down in the cellar of the shed?” What a coincidence! Glad to know they got all the gas down in the cellar of the shed. Seems kind of rushing don’t you think? But ya know whatever makes my job easier than it needs to be.

We made our way over to the shed as a pack of women were standing around the balcony, talking, looking half naked, and doing cocaine off each other? Hollywood really needs to nail how these bitches do cocaine. Four stopped for a second as one of them tossed over the top of her shirt as her titties appeared before him.

“Four stop looking at the titties!” I ordered as I continued sneaking to the shed. I double checked to see if Four was following me, he’s still looking at all the now naked ladies on the balcony.

“Just a few more seconds.” I rolled my eyes as I grabbed his ear to start pulling him towards the shed.

“We’re dead and have a free night in Vegas. Just go on pornhub and watch your titties when we get back to the hotel!” I told him as we made it to the shed. He took one last look then got back into the game.

Four opened the window slowly as he climbed in as I quickly followed suit. I then closed the window as quietly as I could as Four busted open the cellar where the gas was being held. A foul stench of chemicals came out of the cellar. He reached into the bag to pull out two gas masks for us just incase something goes wrong.

“Got our shaving cream?” I asked him as he pulled out one of the bottles as I shined a flashlight into the basement. Nodding as we placed the mask over our faces then down into the dark hole of death.

The only light was my flashlight so no one would notice the lights or us moving around in the cellar. There were tables around the room with the materials they’ve been remaking the gases with. So they’re not in the bombs which is nice and makes us skip a whole bunch of steps. The only light besides my flashlight were tiny little windows that let only a little sunlight entering the room to show us the outline of the shelves. They haven’t started the production of too much gas so we hopefully have enough room for everything.

“One we made it in the cellar where the gas is. Starting our extraction.” I told one as I slid off my bag to start pulling out the bottles of shaving cream. I screwed open the bottle as we began shoving the chemicals into the bottles as quickly as we could.

A weird chirping sound began ringing throughout the cellar as four was too focused on trying not to drop any of the chemicals. It sounded like a mixture of a dying bird and a baby. It’s cries sound very familiar of one of a tiger. I grabbed my flashlight and began following the sound of the chirps. I was lead to the corner of the room where this little ball of orange, black, and white was curled up in the corner of the room. It lifted it’s head up and the poor thing look so malnourished oh my god!

I took off my jacket as the cub tried getting up, but it’s legs we’re so skinning that it could barely hold its own weight. Should I be taking you home? Yes. I wrapped it up in my jacket as the door above us busted open and what sounded like elephants running upstairs.

“Eight what are you doing?” Four asked as the cellar door opened as we both scurried around to hide behind the tables. Okay this is a horrible idea but the only way I’m going to get myself out of here is putting the cub in my bag. Dear God please don’t hate me little one, but you’re gonna have an endless amount of meat when this is over.

The guards came running down the stairs as I looked to see my book bag was only a few inches away from me after finding a table to hide behind. I put the cub on the ground as it stayed in the hoodie so I could try to reach for the hoodie.

“Hey! Who's been touching the goods?” One of the guards barked as they turned off the safety of their guns to start scoping out the cellar. I slowly rose from behind the table to see more of them coming down the stairs. Shit shit shit! Getting down as I turned the corner to just snatch my bag. I shoved the hoodie into the bag, leaving it opened at the top as the cub stuck it’s head out. I then put the bag on my shoulders as I began crawling through the cellar.

Ya know. If you take a bottle of ethanol and basically treat it like a Molotov cocktail, you can burn down a building much nicer than any regular whiskey and fire. Four was ready to kill one of the guys as I motioned him to stop, then pointing at the bottle of methanol. He nodded as he pointed to the cellar stairs as a cue for us to go up, Molotov those fuckers and kill a little birds with one stone!

On three I grab the bottle. One..two..THREE! I snatched the bottle almost knocking over a bunch of dishes. Shit shit shit! Four made his way up the cellar stairs as I crawled as quietly as I could to the stairs as the guards were beginning to come in my direction. Just stay calm..no need to panic! Just run up the cellar stairs and dump the ethanol! RIP IT OFF LIKE A BAND AID!

A very loud crash happened as one of the guards accidentally fell over one of the shaving cream bottles which gave me the cue to run up the stairs. I climbed up the stairs then popped open the bottle of ethanol to start dumping down the stairs. Once it was soaked into the wooden stairs, I kicked it down the stairs as Four pulled out his lighter then launching it downstairs. He then slammed the cellar door shut as we made a break towards the closest wall.

“Well not exactly according to plan.” He threw off his gas mask as we hid behind bushes. I think at this point we’re just waiting for the place to go BOOM! And I’d really like to see it go absolute boom because that means we just saved so many lives! The tiger chirped as four looked over to the back of my bag. I didn’t move at all as it’s head popped out of the bag which made Four almost scream.

“Why do you have a tiger in your bag!?” He whispered yelled as I turned to him.

“Why don’t you have a tiger in your bag hm?” I asked him as he rolled his eyes then just stared me down.

“We can’t bring a tiger back into the airfield! One will get rid of it!”

“I plan on raising it! I’ve worked with big tigers before!”

“Oh really!?”

“Yes real..” The shed exploded as we ducked down covering our heads as the explosion was beginning to ring through our ears. FUCK THAT WAS LOUD OH MY GOD!

The heat felt like it was going to melt our skin off our body and that's when we decided to make a break for it up the wall. I was the first climbing up as quickly as we could as the guards began yelling behind us! Crap crap crap!

“FOUR HURRY YOUR BUTT UP!” He was right behind me as they began shooting at the wall. I made it to the top then just jumped for it hoping that I don’t break my legs! I landed on the ground. Four landed right behind me as we made a mad dash towards the car.

“ONE PLANS CHANGED! WE BLEW UP THE SHED!” I yelled as he started the car as the place began catching on fire.

“What do you mean you blew up the shed? What the hell is going on?” I threw the bag into the foot area of the car as Four ran to the otherside of the car as he didn’t even close the door, just slammed on the accelerator then shifting into the fastest gear.

“I’m not much of a driver as six was, but hopefully we can get far enough away from this place.”

“Who was six.” He got quiet as he shifted gears as we slow down a little bit as we got close to Vegas.

“Six was a good friend before he got killed in Florence.” Before he could finish his story, one yelled straight into our headsets wondering what the heck has happened.

“Four! Eight! Are you two done having fun?” He yelled as I moved the ear bud out of my ear so I wouldn't go deaf!

“Well we destroyed the gas by burning the whole compound down. So mission accomplished on our end! Meet you back at the airbase in the morning. Four and eight over and out.” I yanked off the radio as I dove into the bag to pull out the cub.

“Four. How much do you think a few pounds of ribs are in Vegas?” I asked him as the cub was dead asleep in my hands.

“Ten pound ribs?” He asked as we turned towards Vegas.

“Make it fifteen. With a side of mashed potatoes.” Great minds think alike! The Tiger cub woke up a little as she began yawning.

“I think I’ll call you Anya.” Her beautiful yellow eyes opened wide as she tried licking my hand a little.

“That’s adorable oh my god.” Four commented as we were pulling up into the hotel. Damn right one got us a room at the Bellagio. I also think two and three are somewhere in here with us but on different ends obviously. He reached into the back for one of the bottles of water, pouring it into the empty shot glass from the absinthe. I held it up to Anya as she began slurping up the water from the glass.

“Tomorrow I’ll find some sort of wildlife sanctuary. As much as I would love to take care of her and turned her into a fighting machine, I’ve seen what control does to animals for most of my life. We’re just going to get ya to a bigger place with better help. Sound fun Anya?” She was so focused on the water she probably didn’t even hear me.

I know I focus on dealing with the horrid people of the world, sexual predators, corrupted Government leaders, and drug lords. But from this moment on. My ass will be going after poachers who hunt animals for money. Just now have to add them to the list which will make it ten times larger. Worth it so that one day Anya and her cubs can run around Russia in their natural habitat.

We made it to the bedroom as I put Anya down on the bed as she began sniffing around the room. Four immediately threw off his shoes and jumped onto his bed, picking up the phone to order room service.

“So we’re doing ten pounds of ribs, potatoes, and?” He asked as I grabbed the large glass so I can put some more water in it for Anya.

“See if they have any cheesecake. Make it an oreo cheesecake.” I poured the courtesy pitcher of water for Anya not to drink too much water.

“You wanna finish your story about six?” I asked him as I threw off my tank top I had on to reach into my bag for my hoodie.

“Six was a drag racer from somewhere out east who didn’t make me feel so out of place with the rest of them, till you joined the team.” My cheeks feel a little funny. They feel like they’ve been twisted a little bit as I tried to focus on Anya.

“Well. I’m glad I’ve made your experience on this team a little more relaxing because I can imagine being in this doesn’t have it’s relaxing or happy moments. Now order the food so we can stuff our faces and make One’s bank have a heart attack.” I told him as he dialed for room service then noticed something on the tv.

“Eight! We can go do a sky jump from Stratosphere tower!” Say what? I looked up from Anya to see an ad on TV about a bungee cord thing over by the tower.

“You in?”

“I’m in.” We’re two unknown people in this world and now declared dead. Let’s go have some fun then!

Now how do dead people usually have fun? Rob a bank, destroy a multi million corporation? Nope. You got bungee jumping and use the money to close it for the two of ya. Gotta love one’s money and how much can persuade two college students for the rest of their career.

“Ya know after the amount of buildings we’ve both jumped, dangled, and even fallen from. Yet I still am a little scared that it’s going to snap and I die.” Trying to calm myself down as we made it to the jumping area.

“Think of it as that jump oh my god this is going to be fun.” He was getting excited as he was the first to be put in the harness. He complained about jumping over a wall into a compound but now he’s dying to jump from a very tall needle thing in Vegas? Of course.

“See ya at the bottom.” He got a running start as he made the jump. I could hear him screaming in joy the entire way down. Is he doing flips? Oh my god it’s like being back home again. My body began to relax as it has before when I used to fly through the air when a time was much more simpler and full of color.

I was strapped into my harness as I made the running start just as four did! When my feet jumped over the edge it felt so damn freeing! The wind was rushing through my hair as I could hear the trumpets, trombones, drums, and the entire orchestra of a life before my true colors came into play!

“HELL YEAH!” I yelled as I finally did a front flip as I was getting close to the bottom. Four caught me from my jump as I tried to regain my balance from the jumping rush. He took a step back away as the kid came to help me out of this 80s tracksuit.

“Oh my god that was so much fun! I forgot how much fun that was oh my god!” I laughed as the other college student helped me get out of the yellow and blue jumpsuit.

“When we’re done with the whole turkistan mission. I think we need to take a climbing trip.” Four made the comment as I climbed out from the jump suit. A climbing trip?

“As in climbing a mountain?” I asked as we began walking off the target zone.

“Something a little smaller. Why not go scaling something in Wyoming or even Utah. I’ve heard there’s a lot of rock wall climbing out there.” Is he asking me out on a nature date? Or just a date in general? Although I’ve heard the southwest of America definitely has some beautiful views that is definitely worth the climb.

“Sure. Haven’t done a nature climbing thing in a very long time.” Well. Guess I have a date after we kill a Government leader.

How romantic. PFt hahahaha!

taglist: @filmslutt @bonafiderocketqueen @leah-halliwell92 @lazykittenstudent @radiob-l-a-hblah @itsmeaudrieee @intoanothermind @imjustboredso @4lendow-norris @wickedholland @takemetoneverland420 @raylan-c

#ben hardy #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x oc #ben hardy x female reader #6 underground #6 Underground Four #6 Underground Billy #Ben Hardy 6 Underground #Four/Billy #Four #Four x Reader #6 Underground Fan Fic #6 Underground Fiction

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k-popscenxrios · 5 years ago

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Didn’t Ask For This Pt 2 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: This one isn’t as long as the first one, but I just liked the way the cut off was for this! Things are starting to pick up, now~!

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

3.5k words | drama ✞ | fluff ♡

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

I walked into work to see one of my friends, Chaeyoung, smiling like a mad man. I didn’t hesitate to give her a puzzled look as she just shuffled up to me with the smile unwavering.

“The new people are pretty cute,” she spoke as I just nodded and headed to type in my number to clock in, “both guys and both single.”

“Why do you know they’re single?” I asked as I looked at the computer screen. I’m not entirely sure that I want to know this answer, actually.

“I just asked them,” she shrugged while I rolled my eyes, “I’m jealous that you’re training them today. I would kill to be the one training them.”

“And I would kill to be the one not training them,” I sighed and put an arm on her shoulder, “I would trade with you in a heartbeat, but I’m not about to face the wrath of the wicked witch of the west.”

Chaeyoung frowned as I sent her a sorry look. “Well at least have some fun. You’re single, too, right?”

“Hush,” I pushed her away as she just laughed and walked towards the concession stand. “I’m off to actually work now.”

“Have fun,” Chaeyoung nodded to me before she walked to the front counter to do her job as well.

I turned around and exited the back room as I made my way to the manager’s office. One of the better managers was in today which made it really tempting to run back up to Chaeyoung and switch with her, but I couldn't. The witch always found out when we would switch without her permission even when the other managers tried to keep it from her.

“Seokjin,” I smiled at my boss as he glanced over at me and sent me a smile as well. “Where are the new hires?”

He looked back down at the paper he was glancing over before looking down the hallway. “I think they’re cleaning bathrooms right now. I asked Yoongi to teach them how to restock and all that. Just wait for them to finish up, I guess.”

I just nodded and walked down the hall in the direction of the last men’s restroom that we had. I felt weird having to wait for them to walk out, but I stood a good distance away so that it wouldn’t feel as weird.

I saw Yoongi exit the bathroom as I started to take a few steps closer to the group. I always felt nervous when meeting new hires, and I couldn’t help but hope that they were nice.

...Especially if they’re cute like Chaeyoung said they are.

I watched a boy almost the same size as Yoongi walking behind him. He was undeniably attractive, and his most distinctive feature was his pinkish hair. I found myself quite liking this guy just based on how he kept himself and just how… nice he looked. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to look forward to this night if I get to spend it with-

“What the hell?”

I noticed the figure behind the pink haired boy as my heart and jaw dropped to the floor in shock. He just smirked and sent me a wave. He was just oozing pride and arrogance as I felt my fists clenching by my side.

“Ari…” Yoongi’s expression changed to worry as he turned to try and introduce me to the boys behind him. “This here is Park Jimin, and this is-”

“Jeon Jungkook,” he smirked as he stepped forward to hold out his hand for me to shake. I just looked at him incredulously before shoving his hand away from me.

“Just what do you think you’re doing here?” I spat as Yoongi and Jimin watched us in silent confusion.

“I’m working my summer job, of course,” he raised an eyebrow as I put a hand to my forehead and spun around 180 degrees in disbelief. I started to pace as I wracked my brain for a way to get out of this situation.

“What have I done to deserve this?” I softly whined as Yoongi took a step forward and held me in place. He forced my pacing to end as I took a deep breath and looked at him.

“Would you like to explain what’s going on?” he asked as I glanced Jungkook’s way. He seemed very smug about this whole ordeal, and I wanted to beat the arrogance out of him.

“I can not work with this guy,” I cried as Yoongi just raised his eyebrows and glanced back at Jungkook, “He’s an insufferable prick!”

“What?” he scratched his head before looking back over at me, “He’s pretty cool to me.”

“Then you train him,” I spun around to rush off but Yoongi grabbed my wrist to stop me.

“RaeAri, you’re acting like a child in front of the new hires, not to mention you’re insulting one of them for no reason…”

“Yeah, what have I done to you, girl I just met?” Jungkook asked as I stomped up to him and glared at him.

“What are you doing?” I mumbled through my clenched teeth as he just shrugged and started sweeping a piece of popcorn into his dustpan.

“I’m doing my job. Can you say the same for yourself?” he smiled as I felt rage build more and more in the pit of my stomach. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening to me.

“Jungkook, I know you think you’re funny but you’re not,” I spat, “Does Taehyung know you got a job here?”

Jungkook shook his head and looked back at Yoongi who was behind me, “Sorry for the confusion, Yoongi. Hot-head here and I actually know each other.”

“Unfortunately,” I retorted after kicking Jungkook’s shoe over the ‘hothead’ comment. Jungkook just laughed and looked behind him at the other new hire. The poor kid is probably confused out of his mind.

“Sorry about her, Jimin. She’s a little off her rocker,” he explained as I glared at him. I turned to the confused Jimin and softened my expression.

“I’m not like this usually. I’m sorry you had to see this,” I apologized to him as he just sent me a soft and sweet smile.

“It’s okay. I can imagine working with an ex would be annoying,” he responded as my eyes widened. An ex?

“No- Jimin you’ve-”

“It’s pretty annoying,” Jungkook nodded as he slightly elbowed me. I sent him a dirty look as he just raised his eyebrows and gave me a look as if I was supposed to know what he was trying to tell me. His eyes moved from me then to Jimin, and then back to me again.

Wait… Does he really want to take this ex lie and run with it? Why do I need him to be my ex to justify my strong disliking of him?

“I guess I’ll try and make this not as horrible as it feels it’s going to be,” I mumbled as I looked at Jungkook with a slight glare.

“Well then…” Yoongi nodded and began to slowly back away as I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I had just seriously weirded out Yoongi, one of the only staff members who I considered a friend.

“Wait,” I spoke to him as I rushed over to him and gave him a sorry look, “I’m sorry. It was really unprofessional of me to get so worked up over… my ex being here. It won’t happen again.”

Yoongi just smiled sadly and nodded before turning around to walk off. I just watched him become smaller and smaller until he turned the corner and I couldn’t see him anymore.

“Well let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

I spun around and took a deep breath. This was going to be one long night if I kept glaring at him like I was dying to do. He just knew how to push all the wrong buttons when it came to me and it made me so annoyed.

“Let’s go,” I spoke as I tried to not sound as unhappy as I felt. Just pretend like it’s just you and Jimin and everything will be okay…

…

“Okay next up is theater 12. This one is the easiest to clean because it’s the smallest theater,” I explained as Jungkook and Jimin followed behind me. We walked into the theater in question as I felt my heart drop at the huge mess I was met with. There was a large pile of popcorn right in front of the trash can instead of in it, and it looked like everyone that walked up after the spill made sure that they could crush the popcorn as deep into the carpet as possible.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I mumbled as Jungkook and Jimin leaned in the theater to look at the mess.

“Okay the best way to clean this up is to actually run your dustpan along the carpet to pick up the crumbs. If you sweep the popcorn too hard with your broom, the popcorn just breaks into several pieces and is even more difficult to clean up.”

Jimin and Jungkook walked past me to get to the spill as they started to take my advice. I went on into the theater and took a glance around. There were lots of left cups and popcorn buckets, but it didn’t seem to be too bad over all.

“So how often do you see something really disgusting?” I heard Jimin ask as I walked to where I could see the two of them.

“Well on the weekends you’re more likely to come across something revolting,” I informed as Jungkook looked up at me. I felt uncomfortable at his stare so I looked away and moved out of their sight to clean up the inside of the actual theater, “The worst that I have cleaned up was puke on my first day. The girl who was training me had jinxed us the hour before we found it because she said that she hadn’t come across throw up since her first day a couple years prior.”

“So does that mean that we’re jinxed again?” Jimin asked with a slight laugh in his voice as I shook my head.

“No, cause I’ve had to clean up puke on multiple occasions since then. It’s actually not the worst compared to some of the things that Yoongi has had to clean up,” I rambled as Jimin and Jungkook finished cleaning up the mess at the front. They joined me for cleaning up the theater as I watched Jungkook. He was being very quiet, and I was surprised that he wasn’t driving me crazy.

“So Ari,” Jungkook spoke as I internally groaned. I obviously spoke too soon. “How long have you worked here?”

“For three years,” I answered short and sweet. I noticed his smirk as he stopped sweeping and glanced up at me.

“So three years and you’re still just a normal employee?” He remarked as I realized where he was going with this. “Either you’re under appreciated or you pretend like you’re better at your job that you are.”

“That is none of your concern,” I snapped as I turned to look at Jimin. He was pretending like he hadn’t heard anything. “But back to work, make sure you get all the trash out of the cup holders because that’s what usually gets missed-”

“It’s really rude to ignore someone when they ask you a question,” Jungkook cut me off as I glared his way. He was once again wearing his signature smirk.

“It’s really rude to interrupt someone,” I countered, but Jungkook was still smug as ever.

“You were rude first, so,” he shrugged and thank goodness he left the conversations to die there.

…

We finally hit our break between movies getting out as I spent Jimin and Jungkook on a short break to get some water and cool off. I took time to clean the lobby and ended up seeing Chaeyoung restocking the lids and napkins.

“Chae,” I smiled as she turned back to glance at me. She smiled back before turning to look at what she was doing.

“Hey Ari,” she responded, “so how’s it going with the new guys?”

“It’s…” I took a deep breath as she cocked a brow, “it’s going. Do you remember my brother’s annoying friend that I told you was living at my place with us?”

“Yeah, you told me he was one of the most obnoxious people you’ve ever met.” She responded as I leaned against the freestyle coke machine to her right.

“Yeah, he’s one of the new hires.”

Chaeyoung looked at me with wide eyes as I just nodded with a sad expression. “Wow, why do all the hot ones have to be jerks?”

“Well, Jimin seems sweet and he’s pretty hot,” I mentioned as Chaeyoung blushed and nodded.

“That’s true…”

I glanced behind me and saw one of our managers watching us. My eyes widened and I pushed myself off the drink machine to get back to work.

“I’ll tell you more later,” I nodded to her as she just nodded back.

…

“I get that you’re supposed to be training us, but since when did training mean ‘make the new guys do your job for you’?” Jungkook remarked as I ignored him. This was about the fourth thing that he had said today just to get on my nerves, and I was sick of it. At this point I was just going to ignore what he said.

…

“You’re exhausting Jimin. He obviously needs a drink.”

“Jimin, you’re welcome to run and grab a drink if you’re ever feeling thirsty. I’m not going to stop you,” I turned to face the two of them as Jimin just nodded.

“Thanks… but I’m fine.”

I glanced at Jungkook with a smirk as he just pretended like nothing ever happened.

…

“Why do you want the two of us to take the trash alone?” Jungkook asked as I rubbed my forehead.

“I already showed you where the dumpster is. Just take the trash and I’ll finish cleaning the theater.”

“So just because we’re guys you want us to take the trash?” He asked as I just gave him a look of disbelief.

“Fine,” I took a deep breath and shoved my broom and dustpan into his hands, “I’ll go with Jimin and you stay and clean the theater. You better be done by the time we come back.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head, “Jimin’s a faster cleaner than I have been today. He should be the one to clean the theater.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from screaming as I looked at Jimin. He was trying his hardest to not look at either one of us.

“Okay, have it your way,” I grabbed my broom and dustpan back, “the two of us are going to stay and clean while you go all by yourself to the dumpster. Good luck pushing three trash cans by yourself.”

I motioned for Jimin to come with me as he sent Jungkook and I an unsure look. I just felt a smirk on my face as I spun around and made my way into the theater.

“You should go with me miss holier than thou,” Jungkook called as I spun around to glare at him.

“Okay, that nickname is getting really old for one,” I took a few steps back toward Jungkook and I motioned for Jimin to continue into the theater, “and two, I’m staying here. Bye!”

“I’m not leaving this spot unless you come with me.” Jungkook smirked and leaned against the wall as I didn’t back down.

“I’ll tell our manager that you’re refusing to do your job,” I threatened as he just laughed and looked down at the floor for a couple seconds.

“And I’ll go right ahead and tell them how rude you’ve been to me,” he looked back up at me as my face turned red, “and I’ll tell them that you’re forcing me to do something I’m not ready to do alone just yet. What if I get lost on the way to the dumpster?”

“The building is not that big,” I mumbled as he just raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Why do you care if I go with you or not, anyway? You’re the one who made this more difficult than it had to be.”

“You either go with me or I go to the boss,” he winked and pushed himself off the wall. “I’m giving you five seconds to decided.”

“God, you’re insufferable,” I cried as I rubbed my eyes with my fingers, “fine! I’ll go with you. Jimin! We’ll be right back. Jungkook’s being a crybaby dependent today. I trust that you’ll do a good job on the theater.”

I started pushing one of the trash cans out the door, making it and effort to leave Jungkook to push two. “You just wasted valuable time, Jungkook. You’re pettiness is putting us behind. If any people are sitting in those theaters before we get a chance to clean them, it’ll be all on you.”

“Some people sitting in a theater that’s not clean isn’t the end of the world,” he remarked as I shook my head and glared behind me.

“It gives people the image of us being gross and they’ll think we have horrible time management. That leads to bad reviews online.”

“Then that’s corporate’s problem.”

I sighed and left the conversation there. I was tired to bickering all day with him. Just an hour until our shifts are over, and then lucky for me, I also get to see him at home! My life sucks.

...

Our shifts came to a slow and painful end as Jungkook tried his hardest to just clock out and rush off without having to face the wrath of me and what I would do outside the workplace. Lucky for me, one of the managers stopped him before he could flee so quickly, and I felt satisfaction flowing through my veins. I couldn’t wait to let him have it in the parking lot.

The walk out of the building was incredibly silent as I was waiting for all my words to be said outside, and I hoped Jungkook knew what was coming. I still couldn’t believe that he pulled something so incredibly stupid and infuriating.

“Are you out of your damn mind?!” I yelled the second we exited the building. Jungkook just sighed and shrugged, squinting because of the brightness of the sun, “Did you think this would be funny?”

“Well I wasn’t wrong to think that,” he smiled as I stopped in my tracks and frowned. “Your reaction was even better than I would have imagined.”

“I can’t believe you,” I shook my head and rushed past him, brushing my shoulder against his. As much as I wanted to let him have it, his conversations drained me too much. I could hear him rushing to catch up to me as I tried to just run off to my car.

“What’s the big deal?” he asked as he grabbed onto my arm to pull me to a stop. I whipped around and took one big and violent step his way, intensely staring him in the eyes.

“Just last week my life was nice and calm. I was waiting for my brother to come home for the summer and everything was going to be fun and awesome.” I started as I felt myself start to build tears up in my system. There was no need to be that dramatic…

“Then in walks this guy who thinks so highly of himself that he won’t admit when he’s done something wrong. He takes over my home with this dumb junkfood and his expensive furniture, only to then infiltrate my workplace! I can’t even look at you right now without wanting to punch the life out of you.”

I spun around and rushed off to my car once more, and once again he followed behind me.

“I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.”

“You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head.

“I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with,” he glared as his mood shifted and he went from fairly calm to very angry. “You’re so selfish and narrow minded! You had me pegged as a bad guy the second I walked in your door. You think the world revolves around you, and guess what miss holier than thou? You’re just another bitch to me.”

He shoved past me as I took a few deep breaths to try and calm down. What was his problem? Trying to pin me to be the bad guy… I’m not the bad guy…

A/N: ahhhH. That is all I have to say. (OH, and thanks for reading!)

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

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silverlightqueen · 5 years ago

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Daisies

here's another playlist with all the songs that the songs in Daisies are based on with the spotify playlist, enjoy x

a/n: almost all of the song titles come from part names of daisies parts lol and I also wrote this super late last night but the wifi stopped working as I tried to upload it so sorry for how... sleep deprived I come across in this lmaooo x

tracklist

1. Intro: Spring - KTH = Winter Bear - V

From the very first mixtape skit, Tae suggested having Intro: Spring and Outro: Summer so y’all know I had to call the intro Intro: Spring lol. I based this one off Winter Bear bc even though Winter Bear is about... a winter bear (lmao), I thought it’d be cute to have the message of this song as even though it’s spring, the singer still loves the person they fell in love with during the winter (and winter doesn’t necessarily refer to the season, but maybe a dark time in the singer’s life).

2. Mayday - KTH & JJK = Lay Me Down - Sam Smith & John Legend

So the reason I chose this song is that it’s quite a sad and dark love song and rather than seeing it as an unrequited love song (which is what it is), I see it as more a doomed love song. From the point of view of the singer, they see the relationship as something amazing and beautiful and something they want, but there are doubts/barriers in the way. This could be reflective of how both Tae and JK initially saw their relationships with Chae and Lisa due to the whole idol dating thing, or maybe even their past with sleeping around.

3. Injustice - Jisoo & Jennie = Extraordinary - Clean Bandit & Sharna Bass

Again, this is another song about loving someone, but there are issues/doubts/barriers in the relationship. This again could be reflective of doubts that Jisoo and Jennie both had about Jin and Joon at the beginning of their attractions to one another/relationships.

4. Psychic - KNJ & Jennie = Fine Line - Mabel & Not3s

This song is all about how they both have feelings for each other, but he’s more open about his towards her. Jennie is reluctant but feels like there is a very fine line (ba dum tsh) between their relationship being casual and her falling head over heels for him.

5. Missing Out - MYG, JHS & Lisa = Take It Or Leave It - Rae Sremmurd

Now I really really love this song bc it gives me major ‘I really like you and i’m trying my best to act like I don’t really care whether you like me or not but I really do and I’m not a good actor so you already know’ vibes. It’s a real laidback and chill ‘end-of-the-night-when-everyone’s-high’ kinda song and I love it.

6. Outings - MYG, JHS, PJM & JJK = New Flame - Chris Brown, Usher & Rick Ross

I chose this song bc it talks about finding love in an unlikely place; the club. In Outings, the boys sing/rap about finding love in a different unlikely place; on tour. It’s so hectic and busy that you wouldn’t think there’d be any time, but it happened regardless.

7. Possessed - JHS, Jennie & y/n = All My Friends - Snakehips, Tinashe & Chance The Rapper

This song is the ultimate introvert anthem and talks about the idol lifestyle for idols that don’t like the idol lifestyle. y/n wasn’t into all that getting high and drunk and sleeping around kinda thing and this song reflects that mentality, and the mentality of the boys when they used to do that shit.

8. Parents - KSJ, Jisoo & JJK = Boyfriend - Ariana Grande & Social House

This song just talks about how Jin, JK and Jisoo (and Lisa) are in relationships where they really like the other person and they don’t want them with anybody else, but they’re also not quite ready to commit and put a label on it or make it official just yet.

9. Booking Flights - KSJ, JHS, Jisoo, KNJ & Jennie = Finders Keepers - Mabel & Kojo Funds

This song is about how you will not catch Jin, Jisoo, Joon or Jennie booking a flight to see the other person they’re in a relationship with; they’re not ready for that yet and they’d prefer to keep it casual and make the most of the time they do have together before becoming serious.

9.5. Skit: Brainstorm Pt. IIIII - All

This is literally just them lot brainstorming and i’m so sorry but I am too tired to come up with what they say so you can just make it up yourselves

10. Really - Girls (Blackpink Cover)

This song is a little bit of turning point; it’s where the girls have decided that ‘okay, I like you and I’m ready for us to be something more; if you feel the same way, let me know’. This is where the girls are addressing their feelings and wanting the same from the boys.

11. Reunion - PJM & y/n = Learn To Love Again - Lawson

This song is y/n and Jimin talking about how they know that they are meant for each other bc of the fact that they’ve been able to learn to love each other again and forgive each other, despite everything that happened between them; it’s an admittance of how deep their feelings for each other really go.

12. Enjoy - Lisa & JJK = Fetish - Selena Gomez & Gucci Mane

This song is about how JK and Lisa are feeling each other in a sexual way and no matter how they’ve tried to repress their feelings, they want the other; not just in a sexual relationship but in an actual relationship too (and they’re both aware of the other’s feelings). It also talks about how they don’t blame the other for liking them so a lil bit of self love in there too.

13. Blushing - Chae = Lover - Taylor Swift

There’s not much to say about this one; it’s literally just Chae admitting to Tae that she really likes him, wants to go where he goes and stay this close to him forever. It’s a really cute lil love song and I think it suits Chae and Tae’s relationship perfectly.

14. Clouds - MYG & KTH = Waves - Kanye West & Chris Brown

This song is about all the different relationships that the twelve of them have, discussing the fact that they are like waves; they change and move and (as Genius lyrics says) flux and reflux, but they never truly die and are always still there. Basically it’s about how no matter what happens, their relationships will exist and stay just as strong forever.

15. Close Your Eyes - Boys = Wake Up - The Vamps

This song is the boys admittance of their feelings for the girls and how they’re here and ready for the girls whenever their hearts are ready. That’s it, lol.

16. Babie - KSJ = This Is What You Came For - Calvin Harris & Rihanna

This song is about a really powerful woman who can command the entire room, but the feeling of her having her eyes on you. Basically, it’s just the boys empowering the girls; it’s them saying ‘you guys are really amazing and powerful and we’re honoured to even know you, let alone have your love’.

17. Forever Young - All (Blackpink Cover)

This song is literally just them talking about feeling young when they’re all together and they’ll be together the rest of their lives, making them young forever.

18. About Time - MYG, JHS & y/n = Congratulations - Post Malone & Quavo

This is just a flex bc they're record breakers and award winners bitch lmao

19. Interlude: Hedge - JJK & y/n

y’all know I had to fucking do it to you !! okay so the backing track is literally just basic asf and it’s just JK and y/n rapping the following lines together (it’s only like a minute long lmao):

sitting on a ledge, thinking ‘bout a hedge. we gon’ make a pledge to grow ourselves a hedge. our tools we will dredge (up) and in the garden we will wedge, some seeds between our flowers and grow a baby hedge. the baby hedge will grow, ‘til it can’t no mo’, ‘til it’s bigger than Tae’s toe and taller than Joon’s old ‘fro. our hedge matters most, it’ll grow from coast to coast, ‘til the world from edge to edge will fall in love with our hedge

(that’s it. I have reached the peak of crackheadedness. I will never do anything more crackhead-like than what i am doing right this second; writing a rap about a hedge at 1am in the dark with Monsters vs Aliens on the tv)

20. Apocalypse - KTH, Lisa & y/n = This Is Love - Will Smith & Eva Simons

This song is legit just how much love they all have; for each other, for their fans, for their families and friends and for their music. That’s it, ion know what else to say.

21. Lucky Stars - Chae & y/n = Unconditionally - Katy Perry

This is just another big love song about how no matter what, they will all still love each other unconditionally, without holding back anything.

22. Masterpiece - PJM & y/n = Ordinary People - John Legend

This is y/n and Jimin realising that there will be ups and downs in their relationship, but that’s okay bc that’s life and they’ll get through it bc they love each other. It’s also them realising that they need to just go slow this time and let things happen naturally rather than rushing into anything and forcing anything.

23. Tipsy - PJM & y/n = Drunk In Love - Beyonce & Jay-Z

Nothing has changed; they both still like sex a lot. Also, rapper!Jimin which we love (yes, i’m still not over that Tony Montana performance and I want it tattooed on my forehead pls)

24. Whiplash - Boys = Better Man - 5 Seconds Of Summer

This song is dedicated from the boys to y/n bc she made them better men; she threw away their drugs (lmao) and got them to stop sleeping around and helped to realise their worth and love themselves, so this is their thank you to her for changing them into better people.

25. Holiday - Chae, JJK & y/n = Malibu - Miley Cyrus

This song is about how they were reluctant about relationships at first and never saw themselves where they are now, but they love it and feel indebted to their other halves (and also their friendship group) for giving them new experiences, changing their lives for the better and making them happier than ever.

26. Promise Pt. II - PJM = Serendipity - BTS

This is dedicated to y/n (obviously) and is basically just Jimin’s promise to y/n that he loves her.

27. Angel Boy - y/n = Video Games - Lana Del Rey

This is y/n’s love song to Jimin - just listen to it and you’ll understand (listen, it’s late and i’m tired but I just wanna get this uploaded so I can finish daisies in the next couple of days and start the new au so sorry if the descriptions are too brief lol)

28. Back On - All = All Weekend Long - Jack & Jack

RTG might have left the toxic lifestyle behind them but they’ll never say no to a good party lmao

29. Business - KNJ & Jennie = Touch - Little Mix & Kid Ink

Jen and Joon like each other a lot and like to touch too lmao i’m tired forgive me

30. Peachy - KSJ & Jisoo = Toothbrush - DNCE

Jin and Jisoo not wanting just one night stands and asking the other to stay the night and the next day bc they like each other a lot

31. Dream - Lisa & JJK = Cold Water - Major Lazer, Justin Bieber and MØ

This just in: JK and Lisa really like each other and will save each other from cold cold water bc of it.

32. Worldwide - KTH & Chae = This One’s For You - David Guetta & Zara Larsson

Just a super feelgood, uplifting and empowering love song that’s totally not about football.

33. Daisy - PJM & y/n = Middle - DJ Snake & Bipolar Sunshine

This song is where I got the line ‘staring at two different views’ from and both y/n and Jimin have captioned pictures of each other with that line so I felt obliged to have this as their song, and then I called it daisy and made myself sad lmao.

34. Goodbye - All = The Time - Black Eyed Peas

They had the time of their lives on The Rose Tour and can’t wait to do it all over again on The Daisies Tour.

35. Outro: Summer - All = Waiting For Love - Avicii

They’ve all been hurt in the past but that doesn’t matter anymore bc they’ve found love in each other and that’s all that matters.

taglist💕: @khaoticamour @rjsmochii @minniestudies @oodlespadoodle @shay-the-turtle @yasbts705 @goldenchemistry @arvbellas @anothershorthuman @golden-pixie-dust-200 @onlinewhale @maknaeroni @sweetchocolategoblin @conslack @missbowkimjinju @pocketfullofsuga @booklover240 @dimple-jungkook @squishyshit @sakurauchiha2018 @keylowmonie @untainted-memories @babybluebisexual @dearbangtan07 @joyful-jimin @glossdust @mayumioutloud @needyvmin @the-real96 @brinnalaine @lovebuginlove @smolchild95 @miraisnotavailable @eilowyneleyne @kiddrauhlfeels @silverlightprincess

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ourmanifestoisfun · 6 years ago

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4x17 & 4x18 episode thoughts

IT’S OVER YOU GUYS!

That was one hell of a journey, and while I’m sad I won’t be able to write up week after week anymore, that still doesn’t mean there aren’t a lot of things left to say.

Dream ghosting! I was kind of hoping she went to the real Dr Akopian, but honestly dream ghosting works equally well for me. But falling asleep on the toilet, Rebecca? Really?

I love the red dress Rebecca wears, because that is the color associated with love and of course she will wear it on this important night.

Tim...spend Valentine’s Day with your wife. You learned about her clitoris, now learn to handle your 11-12-year relationship. Seriously.

Maya looks cute though. Love her Reveal

All of Paula’s heart decorations are marvelous. Especially digging the earrings.

The time fakeout was nicely played. I got spoiled for that going in, but I appreciated how they clarified when “earlier” actually was.

Josh’s panic about Rebecca’s decision made it sound like it was...not entirely about her, more that he had finally reached a new stage in his life and was ready to share it with someone compatible. I wish they had delved into that more.

George’s “Raven’s Nest” is terrifying

Yay for Darryl and his blended family with April. Also holy hell that is going to be a crowded household.

All of Rebecca’s flashforwards were very short, but I liked those different glimpses into different lives and how frustrated she was that the Rebeccas in them were not happy.

So much cuteness: Rebecca + Greg’s wedding dance, pregnant!Rebecca presenting a baby Ruth Gator Ginsburg to Nathaniel, and her+Josh’s family breakfast with their adorable kids

Having the episode be a little more stripped down and center on Rebecca and Paula felt very natural, because that is how the show started and it would be the way to make it come full circle. While their relationship is no longer nearly as codependent and have other aspects of their lives as priority, it is good to see them still come together and rely on each other for pivotal moments.

ESPECIALLY having Rebecca bring Paula into “that weird thing [she] does”. Seeing her run around and peer excitedly at the costumes, and being so excited about this rich imagination of her best friend is just so heartwarming.

What she needs “just happens to be here” and the handholding moments GAHHHHHH

Also ‘11 o’clock’ was PERFECT. Love how they took all of these seminal songs and brought them together with the mannequins and the outfits and everything gahhhhhhh

I’m so proud of Paula for sticking to her guns about the pro bono arm of the firm and being prepared to walk away in order to continue doing something that she felt was right. Paula now knows her worth as a lawyer - now she can figure out how to use her worth and apply it to her drive. And Julia was willing to listen, so it paid off!

Watching Josh get his heart broken was hard, because the poor boy did not see it coming.

It makes sense for him to move out, but I wish we knew what he was doing for a living now.

I like the tidbit that him and George hang out now.

Josh’s new magic club girlfriend looks super nice and cute. But meeting Rebecca must have been so awkward. Especially if she followed the saga in the Daily West Covina.

Also, I wished she had a name. Please, for fan-fictional reasons!

AJ moving in with Rebecca is fun, but also such a bad idea. I am relieved that he will never tell her whether he has a vibrator or not.

I love AJ in general. For introducing a new supporting character, they came out very strong with him and I’ve really enjoyed having him around.

I hope she does get him that Harvard t-shirt

Valencia and Beth are engaged! And it was both quiet (in bed) AND a little bit dramatic (the drone). Looking forward to that wedding.

Heather and Hector got a hot tub!

...maybe Rebecca shouldn’t be using it at the same time as them.

I liked that Nathaniel recognized what was happening with Rebecca very quickly and I kinda hope he was joking about the rock (knowing him though, he wasn’t). Still, the “you only have one life to live and you should live it the way you want” was a sweet sentiment.

Nathaniel walking away from his father’s firm was exactly what I wanted for him. I’m not sure he should stay long term in Guatemala, but a change to reevaluate his life will be good for him.

Also that he did it with the support of two psuedo-father figures and yelled ‘’I love you’ at his dad before hanging up. I am very pleased by that because Sr would HATE it.

I’m glad that Greg made it clear that he wasn’t going to wait for Rebecca

I loved Rebecca’s tribute to him at the open mic night, that he is someone who has always been ahead, and that she wants to have the passion in her life that he has for Serrano’s.

Whijo’s grumping about it was hilarious.

I am sure that Whijo had great things happen in his life too in the past year, but ouch re: the wildfire burning both his apartment and his childhood home.

To the surprise of no one, Rebecca is not in a relationship at the time of the ending. But given how they played her breakups with the boys with gentleness, and the idea that she has a focus of her own now rather than needing to actively “choose herself”, really worked for me, because romance is still important and desirable part of life. It’s just not the only part of it, and when Rebecca says that she feels ready to welcome the other side of love into her life, I believe her.

The panning shot of all of the eligible guys made me laugh way too hard.

I did want to hear her song, but that is an excellent way to close things off.

For the concert special I don’t have this kind of list, but it was fun and sweet and a perfect send-off as well. My favorite gag is either between David Hull dancing in Vella’s song, or Michael MicMillan’s sexy toothbrushes. The Period Sex choreography was GREAT. Especially the incredibly obvious maxipads. They are all stupidly talented.

It’s also really cool that they were able to have so many of the supporting cast come join them for props/backup vocals/gags. That made it feel really warm and complete.

Also loved Vinnie popping out of the bed for the Sex Medley

In many ways, this episode resolution was simple and probably predictable for anyone who has thought about the show as deeply as the people here think about it. There was so much focus on the boys in the last few weeks that it was incredibly obvious that the solution would be that she would choose none of them, because to actually have the conflict for the final episode narrowed down to that choice would go against the very nature of the show. But the way it was handled really worked for me. Rebecca has a life and routine and friends, plus now she has a passion to nurture to its full potential. This first version will be rough, but it will be something.

I do have my criticisms, because while I love this show, there have been quite a few plot points/character beats that I feel were shorted/not touched upon: Josh’s story in particular feels incomplete to me, especially when it comes to having direction in his life. I wanted to see more of Heather+Valencia this season and especially have a stronger focus on Rebecca being a better friend to her gurlgroup, which was often glossed over. I wish things hadn’t gotten so frenetic, or the love quadrangle taken up so much time that could have been spent on moving the characters more gradually in certain directions. In general, I wanted to explore other background character relationship dynamics on a deeper level. There’s also the consistent question of when and how often the writers were knowingly subverting or playing into with tropes, which I suspect also contributed to how the back half of this season was devised.

But this story has always been Rebecca’s story, for better or worse, and that focus is part of what makes this ending feel satisfying, knowing that she is in a centered, happy place, that she is surrounded by people she loves, and the room might include the guy who will be her future mate or not, and she is about to give them words from her heart. This was an apt ending to a phase in her life where she wasn’t sure what she wanted, and I’m happy for her and for everyone, and in the end that is what I wanted from this show.

“I open at the close” - written by JK Rowling, tweeted by Rachel Bloom, and applicable to Rebecca Bunch’s story. She now knows the passion that makes her happy, so we can leave her to a future wide with possibilities.

#ceg spoilers #season 4 #episode thoughts #crazy ex girlfriend #long post #there are a lot of things i'm still thinking out #but at the end of the day my reaction is contentment #and confidence that these characters will be okay going forward #and that's exactly the feeling you want from a finale

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bbclesmis · 6 years ago

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The Telegraph: Dominic West: 'Colette's husband smoked and had sex three times a day – it makes our vegan times look dreary'

When Dominic West was cast opposite Keira Knightley in Colette, to play the limelight-stealing first husband of the not-yet-famous French novelist, it was during his stage run of Dangerous Liaisons at London’s Donmar, playing a wicked libertine of quite another époque.

“I tend to get villains these days,” West muses, sinking back affably in a hotel armchair. To viewers of the BBC’s new Les Misérables, the remark may seem puzzling: after all, it’s not the obsessive Javert he’s playing in that six-hour, song-free version of Victor Hugo’s novel, but Jean Valjean, one of the most unambiguous heroes in world literature.

The 49-year-old Yorkshireman admits it was a refreshing change – if probably a one-off – to be offered such a morally upstanding assignment. Willy in Colette and Valmont in Liaisons are more like bread-and-butter characters; throw in his small-screen infidelities in The Affair, which has one last season of grubby intrigue to shoot, and he’s the actor most likely to be glared at on the street as an incorrigible philanderer.

Beyond turpitude, though, he spots something else these parts have in common: we watch him outmanoeuvred by the women he assumed he could possess.

“That does seem to be a theme in my career – being matched by stronger women. Which is probably the theme of my life, too. I've got five sisters, and three daughters! I’m the go-to guy for playing the male foil, I suppose.”

When did this shift to bad guys occur, if it was even really a shift? “You reach certain waypoints in your career – well, I played lovers, and now I play villains, and dads! A while ago, I played Iago, Fred West and some other horror, all in the same year. I must have a funny look in my eye? I don't know what it is. But I suppose the Devil's always got the best lines. They're more interesting to play, really, especially if you can play against the evil.”

Colette is being marketed around Knightley, by and large. This seems eminently fair: as a writer and actress in turn-of-the-century Paris, Sidonie-Gabrielle Colette spent way too much of her career living in the shadow of her ruthless, slave-driving publisher – also her husband, known to the world as “Willy” – to be co-credited on her own biopic with anyone else.

Still, it’s West who snuck his way into a BIFA nomination, for best supporting actor, while Knightley was crowded out. The film relies for nuance on his refusal to monster the character. He concedes that it’s not the most flattering role. “I had three different fat-suits and an appalling walrus moustache!” But in West’s hands, an odd sympathy emerges for Willy, despite all his terrible behaviour – locking Colette in an upstairs room to write, cheating on her incessantly, and eventually selling off the rights to her novels.

“I thought he was obviously an exciting guy to be around,” West says. “And a total shit, and a narcissist, and an exploiter. But she was with him because he was this incredible force of nature, really, and a sort of bon viveur catalyst to quite a lot of very good writers. I did, even at the end, have a sympathy for this Salieri figure, who realised, having been so famous, that he would only ever be remembered as Colette’s former husband. Which is ironic – no one's ever heard of him now. And if they have, that's the only reason.”

First hatched as an idea 15 years ago, Wash Westmoreland’s film has been an arduous one to get made. West mentions this slow gestation to explain how tentatively the dial moves, in terms of getting stories told about women’s creative achievements. Just five years ago, Knightley was essentially playing sidekick to Alan Turing in The Imitation Game; now it’s her turn to play the genius.

West sees it as “rather serendipitous” that so much discussion about women’s agency – not to mention male abuse – started to happen as the film got made. There’s a striking parallel, I point out, with the role Glenn Close plays in The Wife – as the true brains behind the operation in another literary marriage. “I bet that’s a commonplace story,” he agrees. “Misapplied acclaim. It’s interesting that George Eliot had to change her name to a man's to get published. But then, so did JK Rowling. Doesn't change much, does it?”

As a true-blue fan of The Wire, I couldn’t possibly interview West without touching on his lead role in that series. You could argue David Simon’s Baltimore-set, 5-season HBO epic changed everything for the actor in 2002, but you’d be wrong, because it took about five years before anyone even saw it.

West, a dabbler in Hollywood back then, was deep into his “lovers” phase – he’d been an alcoholic boyfriend to Sandra Bullock in 28 Days, a jazz-age lothario shot dead by Renée Zellweger in Chicago, a caddish colleague to Julia Roberts in Mona Lisa Smile. He was usually the debonair party animal you had to get out of the way so the film could carry on.

And then a tape he’d recorded as a joke fell into Simon’s hands. “It was just an astonishing piece of luck,” he reflects, “because in spite of myself, I landed the lead part in the best TV show of all time!”. This casting fluke lets him lampoon himself so perfectly it’s hard not to laugh. “I spent an awful lot of time trying to get out of it! I was always saying, ‘Oh gawd, not another season.’ Mainly because I was away from home, from my young daughter. And also because no one seemed to be watching it.”

Jimmy McNulty, an alcoholic cop struggling with child support and unstable relationships, was the show’s weary constant. West’s crumpled humility gave the show a relatable centre, but it finally paid him back: the slow-trickle recognition of Simon’s sensational achievement has let everyone involved live in its afterglow.

“I wouldn’t have watched it, had I not been in it,” West admits. “My daughter told me the other day, ‘Yeah, I watched it, it's very dated, dad.’ I don't think it is, though! It's been the gift that keeps on giving.” Michael B. Jordan, now a superstar after the Creed films and Black Panther, got his break there as a tragic 16-year-old drug dealer called Wallace. “I directed him in the last season, now he’s the king of Hollywood,” West remembers.

And there was Idris Elba, as kingpin-cum-politician Stringer Bell. “What happened to Idris? I don't know what happened to Idris. Has anyone heard of him since?! It was perfect. I think he knew it was perfect. He came in, blazed it, and got out. The rest of us felt slightly like journeymen, supporting these celebrity cameos.”

West socks over this kind of self-deprecation with reliable verve. He gallantly assumes it was his dancing, not Knightley’s, which led to a polka sequence being cut from Colette. “She’s pretty easy to spark off,” he says of his co-star. “And she's certainly easy to fall in love with. I had one particular scene where I'm in despair because she's leaving me, and that was a piece of cake.”

Colette was just a 19-year-old Burgundian country girl when she met Willy, 14 years her senior, and was swept off her feet. When West talks about their vigorous sex life, which branched out to multiple partners in Paris – and some they shared – there’s a hint of performative envy to his routine. “Considering what he drank and ate and smoked every day, he was also having sex three times a day. I mean, people did that, in those days. They make our vegan times look so dreary!”

Meanwhile, his approach to tackling the almost dauntingly virtuous Jean Valjean was to find the weakness in the man. “He's so obviously someone overcoming his shortcomings. Which is the only chance any of us get to be heroes. Quite apart from all the acrobatic saving of kids that he does, his great thing is redeeming his flaws, or his dark past.”

It’s an effort for us both not keep calling it Les Miz. Wasn’t he at all disappointed that he never got to belt out “Two-four-six-oh-OOOOONE!!” in his beefiest Old Etonian baritone?

“I was disappointed, but I think everyone else was relieved! I wondered where the songs were, actually. I kept trying to sing and they kept stopping me.”

Les Misérables continues on BBC One on Sunday at 9pm. Colette is out in UK cinemas from January 11 (x)

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #dominic west #interviews #articles #the telegraph

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lizuouou · 4 years ago

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1:17am

jan/18/21

NewYork NY

Today was interesting. I caught myself off guard by realizing how easily a person can get influenced by another. My cousin and I have been discussing family a lot and it feels guilty because there’s so many mistakes, mess and drama. I feel like I definitely over spilled the beans. I need to learn how to stay civil like this is not the best, I know this because it didn’t feel the best but also that my mom sent me a long paragraph explaining how I need to be mature enough to see a world through my win lens and not always be influenced by others, even if they have more votes, my opinion should be entitled to myself and not bias. Bias is a bitch.

I read about Poland springs and how the water they promise us from the springs of Maine doesn’t even have “a drop of fresh water” and Nestle got a lawsuit worth $5millll like bro serves you right we out here drinking tap water lmaooo are we kidding ourselves? Is it really false advertising? Because the last I remember ain’t nobody getting an entire carton of water for like $4? And the plastic, manufacturing, transport, and resources used to get the water itself probably costs so much more. And we’re being promised fresh water from the springs. But why would they give out fresh water from the springs? Who even are we kidding. Isnt water supposed to be worth much more? I thought there’s a war that’s going to happen on water. Shit’s precious!!!

Either ways, I was so bored that right after I actually opened Omegle. No not for any perverted business but because I just wanted to talk to someone. Anyways I came across an 8 year old who told me her boyfriend probably cheated on her and when I asked what? She said yeah haven’t spoken to him in 2 years. I had to control my laughter so hard and I just said “well if you haven’t talked to him in 2 years chances are he probably talked to someone else.” And now as I write this I realized damn, I just gave a little girl advice way too much for her maybe. She dipped faster than a wizard, b knows Whatsup, confrontational issues and shihhh. Then I came across this 19 year old girl from West Virginia who told me her parents left her with her grandmother along with her two younger siblings. They’re drug addicts. I felt kind of really bad because when I confessed I’m glad I saw her face and not a 40y/o’s dick she laughed and said “I just wanted to talk” and I felt that. We both reached out for our puff bars and simultaneously took turns to spill. She told me her dad doesn’t give a shit. We were so chill, no omg I’m sorry to hear that shit. Because let’s be real, you don’t need to be sorry. This is my life, if anything I just want God to feel sorry. Sorry as in, I’m sorry you is sad :( here are your dreams and goals in your hands ta-da. I wish. I felt bad for the girl, the internet kept twitching so I just closed the tab. An 8 y/o and a 18 y/o girl I’ll never speak to again. She told me so much about herself but we never told each other our names. Just our pain? Her boyfriend was a scum bag. Ex boyfriend. Well, I kept silent because I felt like she was being really open. I will never talk to her again. Feels so weird?

That is our generations summary of emotional connection. Short. Like all the fkn boys in my school in FPS like fam just grow up literally lmao jk. Am I? Nah. Anyways I also ditched a friend so brutally I feel bad. They booked an air bnb in front of Central Park and got food and zaza and everything but I chose to meet my best friend his mom and sister, he knew I’m no way interested in him at all. He’s actually always been this genuine. Man’s took the biggest L for us. While Yaldram, rhyme and i walked to his place, he took out a joint and lit it up. Mind it, ain’t legal. A cop literally took a u turn and Yaldram passed it to him cause he was shutting his pants and this dude said yeah give it to me nothings going to happen. BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED.

the cop showed up and asked if that’s weed and rhyme said yes. Holy shit at this point he stretched his arm out and asked for it again and he said no it’s just weed bro, then he reached out called 4 other cop cars by pressing a button (for backup) and I finally said “just listen to him man”. It was embarrassing, people walking past kept looking. Anyways he took all the blame, honestly I just took one puff and was not onboard with the idea to begin with, not even 3 minutes ago I was reminding them how that’s illegal.

He got a ticket, and then I met Yaldram’s mom for the first time and I think I made it so weird because of all what had just happened, was so anxious but whatever. Met his sister and will meet her again tomorrow even though he won’t be there. That makes me happy. I’m welcomed.

However, it was 11:35 pm and I really had to leave cause metro closes at 12am and I realized now it’s too late to go to the air bnb. I didn’t go for two reasons. 1) it’s an airbnb with one guy and stoned? Yeah kinda not the best situation to put myself in. 2) 1

But I felt really bad, this guy rhyme said nothing. He went full MIA for more than a year and doesn’t speak to anyone and didn’t even get back on social media but reached out to me and met me and actually did all this and at the end said bro it’s no worries I’ll drop you, paid for my metro djdnt even let me Venmo (or give me his # or Venmo) only contacts on insta. I didn’t tell anyone I met him because I have to respect his privacy. I apologized a few hours ago because lastnight I said sorry and just that sorry about the food. Because he ordered food there already. But in the morning he told me that I’m a gem of a person and don’t realize that. Like why are you being so nice to me? I can suspect he has a soft spot for me and I have made boundaries and this friendship completely platonic the moment it happened. And he then told me remember the first time we met? ( I didn’t )

It was 2 years ago at a party where I was crying talking to my ex after 2 years of the break up. And this guy randomly walks upto me asks me if I’m okay and gives me water. Mind you no one in a party gives a fuck. Especially that party. And especially my tears against his. It was politically warm? I don’t even know. So that guy who saw me then, came to surprise me on my 21st birthday from NY with the goodies (so illegal) and then ended up meeting my other ex and Yaldram him and I roamed around Boston. It was fun because of my friends. And I was fkn stoned. But yeah and then he looked at me yesterday at the metro and laughed saying “you’ve grown beautifully” I get ceeped out super fast but with this dude I dont. Everhone (including me) thought he’s bi or gay because every time there’s a good looking man he’d say “wow he’s beautiful” but he’s straight he said and also I realized maybe he just speaks his mind. He asked me of the rumors I heard and I told him it was 1) stealing 2) gay and he was like who tf said I’m gay bro, and then he said the guy in front was cute, and then he said “that’s so gay” and laughed. So see? This is a very unusual man. But I had to be home regardless because a) arham b) 12:35am was a perfect time to be home. I don’t like staying out too late anymore? It feels weird. Unsafe perhaps.

However I apologized properly finally. Explaining myself. Saying that I get defensive when I’m high and that the metro closes at 12am but even though the original plan was Yaldram him and I meeting at the place he booked but Yaldram couldn’t show up so I made us go to him instead and we used the time up in getting him his first ticket and in letting me meet my friend before he goes.

I will never forget this man, he told me two of his best friends died that’s why he’d never want his friends to be in any type of trouble. And you know what’s weird about it all? He literally took all the blame in a heart beat with a calm smiley face and I know he’s the one who’s the real gem because not once did he complain or remove that smile off of his face. There was also supposed to be a surprise there but I won’t know anymore. I didn’t ask either.

Writing this made me realize, I want to live harder. I want to be a gem ( no tickets ) but I want to be a gem in my own eye where I can adore myself and allow others to too, and adore them back. Oh and there was also a drunk girl after the whole popo incident who was so sus she acted drunk and said I look like Ariana grande “petit, long hair, big eyes, trust me girl you’re good” and in my head I thought yikes these are the beauty standards in her head which are normalized and thst made me realize oh no she thinks she isn’t good enough does she? Well I hope she does. But also she was sus just weird, walked with us for so long then disappeared then 14 minutes later found myself again running into her at a grocery store by his house?? And she acted as if she never saw me before so I was like oh...

Anyways it’s 1:54 am and I’m glad I wrote today. I’m glad for today, today I was a little less sadder. Particularly because I complained less, tomorrow I’ll try harder.

The end

1:55am

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un-enfant-immature · 5 years ago

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Kinnos, which makes colorized disinfectant to ensure surfaces are covered, just landed $6 million in funding

Kinnos, a New York-based startup, was founded six years ago, but what the five-person company produces is suddenly top of mind — and a new round of funding reflects as much.

To wit, Kinnos, which makes additives that causes disinfectants to turn blue long enough to ensure a surface has actually been covered, just closed on $6 million in funding, a major chunk of which came from Prolog Ventures, though it was joined by Allston Venture Fund, Partnership Fund for New York City, Golden Seeds, MEDA Angels, and numerous individual investors.

We talked with cofounder and CEO Jason Kang, who started the company while still a biomedical engineering student at Columbia University, this morning. We wanted to understand the impact of the coronavirus on his business, possible competition from the likes of Clorox, and whether Kinnos, which currently works mostly with hospital systems, is thinking about a consumer offering, too. Our chat has been edited lightly for length.

TC: Why start this company?

JK: My cofounders, Catherine and Kevin, and myself, were all undergrads at Columbia University in our junior year, and this was October 2014 during the height of the Ebola outbreak in West Africa. Columbia had this design challenge to help the healthcare workers there and they actually brought nurses and doctors in from the field. And one of the biggest problems they mentioned, over and over again was that ineffective decontamination and human errors were literally killing them. If only there was some way they could see what they were doing. And that’s really how we came up with idea of colorize disinfection.

The disinfectants that people are using — bleach, alcohol — is transparent. So when you apply to the surface. It’s actually quite difficult to make sure you’ve covered everything. A lot of the disinfectants also have a contact time, which is the time it needs to sit on the surface to inactivate the pathogens. If you touch a wet spot too early or you wipe it off too early, the pathogen can still be active and that’s how infections can also spread.

TC: How many products are you selling?

JK: Two. The first one is called Highlight powder; it’s a patented color additive platform that’s meant to be combined with existing disinfectants that hospitals and healthcare settings are already using, so we’re not competing or replacing these disinfectants but rather combining our products with them so that they can be used more effectively. Highlight is a powder that you dissolve into bulk liquid solutions of bleach and colorized blue, so when you apply it to a surface you [be sure you] don’t miss a spot and the color will actually then fade from blue to colorless after a few minutes. It was really designed to target epidemic outbreaks, so we’ve sold to humanitarian organizations that have deployed the product in Liberia and Guinea, Haiti, DR Congo and Uganda, and we recently had a couple shipments go to China for the ongoing coronavirus outbreak.

Our second product, Highlight wipes, is really designed more for hospitals here in the US, and the reason being that a lot of hospitals tend to use wipes and not sprays. You don’t see a lot of people hosing down patient rooms. And so the way that technology works it’s actually a physical little device that attaches on top of existing white canisters like a bucket of bleach wipes. We have our lids go on top of that, and as the wipes get fed through our lid, they’ll get impregnated with our Highlight color chemistry, then you have this colorized wipe that you can use to wipe down the bedside tables, bedrails, bathrooms, countertops and so on.

TC: Did you have have to go through myriad tests to ensure the product was safe in a healthcare setting?

JK: With any product being used in a medical or healthcare setting, you do a very rigorous battery of tests to make sure that you know it’s safe and effective, especially when lives are on the line. So we did have to do a lot of third-party testing to make sure that adding our highlight additive to the disinfectants wouldn’t reduce the potency of the disinfectant itself.

TC: How does the thoroughness of cleaning translate into savings for your customers?

JK: It’s not a direct correlation [to dollars] but studies have shown that about 50% of surfaces and healthcare settings are missed or not cleaned properly, and that if you are able to improve thoroughness of cleaning and cleaning techniques, you can reduce infections by up to 80%. At hospitals right now, it’s a $45 billion annual problem in terms of medical costs, reimbursement penalties, and so on. So if you are able to effectively reduce 80% of infections, that’s on the scale of billions of dollars saved.

TC: It’s a huge market. Are you thinking about creating a consumer-facing product, as well?

JK: Definitely. We’re starting with hospitals right now because this is a big problem that happens every day. Around one out of every 25 people who stay in a hospital will actually get an infection from the hospital — which is pretty ironic considering that, you know, you go to hospital to get care and treatment, not to become more sick. Once we have established a foothold in the hospital market, the next most obvious use case would be consumer. Especially with the ongoing coronavirus outbreak, prevention and effective hygiene is kind of top of mind for everyone.

TC: This seems like a no-brainer, your product. Why aren’t companies like Clorox selling the same thing?

JK: I think that it’s definitely been on their radar. The challenge is that it’s very difficult to get a color to last in a container of disinfectant at the point of manufacture and to get it to fade on the surface at point of use, especially within a certain amount of time.

The way that we got around that is by creating a point-of-use additive, so, for example for our wipes device, only as the wipe goes through our lid, right before you use, does it get impregnated with the chemistry. That way we have much more control over how the color is dispensed, the intensity of the color, and the color fading time.

TC: What about with the other product, into which the additive is added directly?

JK: We’re very proud to say that when you add our powder to a bucket of bleach, for example, it’ll last in the bucket for five hours. And then when you use on a surface, it’ll fade in about three minutes. Getting that separation of time was actually really, really hard.

#TechCrunch

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magzoso-tech · 5 years ago

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Kinnos, which makes colorized disinfectant to ensure surfaces are covered, just landed $6 million in funding

New Post has been published on https://magzoso.com/tech/kinnos-which-makes-colorized-disinfectant-to-ensure-surfaces-are-covered-just-landed-6-million-in-funding/

Kinnos, which makes colorized disinfectant to ensure surfaces are covered, just landed $6 million in funding

Kinnos, a New York-based startup, was founded six years ago, but what the five-person company produces is suddenly top of mind — and a new round of funding reflects as much.

TC: Why start this company?

TC: How many products are you selling?

TC: Did you have have to go through myriad tests to ensure the product was safe in a healthcare setting?

TC: How does the thoroughness of cleaning translate into savings for your customers?

TC: It’s a huge market. Are you thinking about creating a consumer-facing product, as well?

TC: This seems like a no-brainer, your product. Why aren’t companies like Clorox selling the same thing?

TC: What about with the other product, into which the additive is added directly?

#Miscellaneous

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