#jk i suck ass

[healpimp]

im gonna level w you, fellow medic mains. you are a lot worse at the game than you think

[necromancer-punk]

estrogen could’ve saved her 😔…

[qcomicsy]

THERES NO WAY BERNARD GAVE TIM A NECKLACE WITH HIS INITIAL IN IT

[jeanbie]

SLYTHERIN! ERWIN ★ masterlist.

part of the “hogwarts” series  ੈ♡‧₊˚ my favourite blonde haired man <33

born into an unpredictable line of half blood wizards, erwin was expecting to be a squib or a normal muggle until his magic manifested in the worst way possible when he was around 7

i think he's always had a very straightforward and headstrong mindset about him that caused a lot of problems growing up

to the point where the idea of going to Hogwarts ended up being the most exciting thing to happen to him after his dad died

(coincidentally around the same time as his magic manifesting)

his dad was a wizard and he'd gone to Hogwarts when he was younger — his dad had been in Ravenclaw, which is what erwin was aiming for until the hat persuaded him against it, charming him towards the sea of green

the choice the hat made to put erwin in Slytherin was met with head scratches and puzzled sounds; those in Slytherin always feel like erwin's a little out of place (even though they all love him)

but as he gets older, they start to see just what on earth the hat saw going on in erwin's head and quickly understand why he's donning Slytherin robes and no other house

he's definitely a team player — not so much a quidditch player as he is a fan of it, he likes to go to the games when he can, but he's a mean competitor in chess (always beats zeke) and absolutely rules the debate club

although he can look a bit unapproachable, i think a lot of Slytherins love erwin because of how to-the-point he is

he's very no nonsense

if you want help with your homework, of course he'll try, but it can't be a regular thing because he's just got other things taking precedence

what? a GRYFFINDOR was picking on you? embarrassing that you'd let it happen, learn to fight your own battles next time, but okay he'll come help you just to make the point extra clear that if you mess with a Slytherin, you mess with ALL Slytherins

definitely an owl guy

has the cutest owl ever who he loves more than most people, though she's terrible at aiming his post in the morning

he's also very punctual — attends all his classes, engages in the work, does his assignments, never hands anything in late

but he's also a little bit selfish

he likes to do things if he knows he can gain something out of it, he's not exactly selfless enough to be a role-model for free

if his homework is stupid, he will put in the minimal amount of effort to make a point

yes, the Slytherins like him, but that doesn't mean he has to necessarily be their best friend

he's kind of like zeke in the way that he looks a looooot older than his peers which helps lend a hand to getting what he wants and/or getting other advantages

if harry hadn't have made the DA then erwin might have, though

he's not zeke's biggest supporter but erwin has to hand it to zeke for being the biggest menace next to fred and george — and erwin's more than happy helping cover up whatever mess zeke makes for the sake of house loyalty

most of Slytherin's house points are gained by erwin

always knows how to break into locked rooms, like he's just so good at getting himself in places he shouldn't be

it's been his lifelong mission to explore the lower level of the library in the restricted section but that one ghost has been pissing him off

and he's desperate to figure out a way to get rid of peeves forever

erwin hates that mf

has an albatross patronus; he never gives up on his goals and if he's hit with an obstacle, he will pursue it relentlessly until it is no longer a problem for him

his favourite sweets on the trolley are licorice swans, and he has personal beef with chocolate frogs and has never gotten around to eating one cause they always bounce off

definitely has lots of friends who are not in Slytherin; in fact, almost all of his closest friends are in other houses, and it's strictly because he lives with these Slytherins and doesnt trust them one bit

he's seen how these bitches live

and erwin really wants to be an auror after Hogwarts is over <33

and what pookie wants pookie shall get

[theflikchic]

JKR really wrote "I am not transphobic! I don't fear trans people! I'm just absolutely terrified that every trans woman I see is a secretly an abusive man waiting to rape me at every turn!" Girl, I- I just- How did this woman ever manage to write a good, narratively coherent series when she can't even keep her damn tweets straight? Like, hot dog, was HP divine intervention because there ain't no way she had that skill and it just vanished like that. This is ludicrous.

[thunderxino]

TC says happy new years & he loves u :D

tap for better quality

[lilybug-02]

chara is the voice of the PEOPLE. GET HIM.

at least SOMEONE is standing up for kris JEEZ. way to go asriel, not standing up for ur sibling, big brother of the year award /s

Asriel wtf are doing?!

YOU ARE A LIMP NOODLE.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i guess Eddie is just a gay as fuck name. who would'a thunk

[omniwhore]

This might be a hot take but I get so tired of the internets mentality of IT'S EITHER OR.

Either you buy the game nd u therefore don't give a shit about trans pple or you never touch the HP fandom w a ten foot pole again and you're ✨clensed✨

I understand both sides of this conflict so deeply.

As a nonbinary person born in a country where you still have to get sterilised in order to change your legal gender, I can come close to the outrage the trans community is feeling at people so easily compromising their principles and support for them over something like this.

But I also remember the toughest parts of my life as a neurodivergent person being stuck in depression nd anxiety and my fandoms being ny o ly reason to live and keep going. We can't control our hyperfixations and sometimes they're all we have.

All that being said I believe THERE IS A FUCKING MIDDLE GROUND.

You can absolutely, privately or publicly, consume or create HP related content without monetarily supporting JKR. JUST PIRATE THE GAME. Wait a while if you have to, you don't have to abandon your interests but you can do the bare minimum to make sure your consumption doesn't do more harm than it absolutely has to. PIRATE THE BOOKS. PIRATE THE GAMES. THE MOVIES. DON'T BUY OFFICIAL MERCH. DIY YOUR OWN MERCH. Buy stuff from fan artists whose wiews you know and support. CREATE FAN CONTENT THAT IMPROVES ON JKRS STEREOTYPE FILLED INTERPRETATIONS OF THE CHARACTERS.

The content is *yours*. Rip it from that bitch's hands and RUN WITH IT but for the love of god DON'T CONTINUE GIVING HER MONEY AND PUBLICITY

IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO for your fellow trans folk out here.

[dogscircle]

depression cancelled i cleaned up a small part of my room and also my bag

[pitske]

long fucking rant about the joy of reading a good book. (not at all accurate title)

I just finished reading Felidae! incredible book I really love the story and- okay bear with me. I got the book a few years back because my mom mentioned reading it when she was younger. I told her I'd want to read it as well and she went through the painstaking process of finding it (which was not easy because the Author is a right fucking prick so his books aren't really sold anymore.)

so we found it on ebay eventually.( god knows I am not givin that author my money) I left it alone for a few years, had other shit to read and actually did not read much at all during that time...

right fast forward I decide I should read it because one of my terrible habits is starting thousands of things at once and never really finishing any of em. SO AND THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING! I read the first 3 pages or so n talked to my mom and brother about it shortly, saying I liked the way it was written, the characters, the exposition, etc etc- AND at the mention of the plot my brother goes "oh! I've heard of that! it's the book that some german studio made into that horrifying animated movie adaptation!" AND IT ALL CAME CRASHING DOWN

because I remember what he meant because you KNOW tiny me with unrestricted internet access had seen some clips of the gory , disturbing cat-movie before! and you know what? I was unfortunate (or maybe fortunate , seeing how I'm a massive horror fan now) enough to watch "Watership down" as a kid so when I saw Felidae being ranked even HIGHER than that movie in those "ooh horrofying disturbing kids movieees ooh" lists, I swore I'd never watch it..

and here we are, I read that boook so fast and it is actually incredibly entertaining (i also just have never read a "krimi" before so I definitely have a high appreciation for the genre now)

I am incredibly excited to watch the movie. JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH a 2D animated thriller-detective cat movie with horrorfying scenes and absurd amounts of gore??? COUNT ME IN TL:DR : I realize that reading is fun if you actually have a good book to read and obsess over the story of a cat solving a series of cat murders

[pigeonxp]

i say this every day but i really want to go home so bad i hate working with every ounce of my body i cant wait until im done w college and can get a job i actually like

[jillval]

good lord, i do miss writing jill and being on tumblr. irl has been kicking my tail and also coming to a realization that i am indeed... a girl kisser. a lot of things have flopped irl and coping isn't working. have been reinstalling re series and been missing my baby girl extremely crazy. those who i'm still pals with on discord, fear not, i'll still be a little slow with convos. i sorta wanna figure out what to do. fun part about wanting to come back.

[jeanbie]

SLYTHERIN! ZEKE ★ masterlist.

part of the "hogwarts" series  ੈ♡‧₊˚ starting with the older characters first and going down the list <33

when zeke got his Hogwarts letter, he was confused

confused because he had no idea he was even a wizard

the very last thing he expected to find out on his 11th birthday was that his dad was a wizard, and, oh yeah, before his mom died, she was a witch, too

so he's very cautious and doubtful about going to a magical boarding school, no matter how prestigious his dad keeps saying it is

who names their school Hogwarts anyway?

i don't even think zeke is 100% aware of the house prejudices until he gets sorted into Slytherin and realises the cute girl he met on the train no longer wants to go near him

but eventually as the years progress, zeke becomes less bothered by the people who actually care about what robes you wear and house you represent

and very quickly, everybody around him seems to follow suit

for zeke gains his own reputation very fast — and not for any of the reasons anyone expected

zeke is a little bit rude and sarcastic, which reminds whoever needs reminding of his house and how he ended up being sorted in Slytherin, but he's also very adaptable and enjoyable to be around, which is probably how everybody knows him, if not by face then almost certainly by name

he's theeee Hogwarts gossip; he knows everything about everyone and knows how to connect you to the people you need

want some magic mushrooms from Hufflepuff but got no friends in that house? dw, zeke knows a guy, and all you gotta do in return is tell zeke if that rumour is true or not 👀

definitely that Slytherin who younger students want to turn to for help or support

zeke has lost count how many times he's been forcibly dragged into petty arguments by the younger kids (although he loves the drama)

he's also that student who looks sooo much older than everybody else, which kind of automatically makes him an eccentric big brother figure to so many Slytherins

zeke doesn't give a single flying fuck about quidditch or other sports at Hogwarts, but you can guarantee he'll be up for a mean game of wizards chess against any student who dares ask

he's not even good at chess either — he always loses, especially against some of the major competitors in his year at Hogwarts like erwin or yelena

i don't believe he had a pet going to Hogwarts because his dad was like "i dont trust you" but later on when his lil brother gets a pet for his first year (not fair btw) zeke gets theeeee ugliest fattest toad possible just to spite everyone

but his frog kind of hates being essentially imprisoned in the Slytherin dungeons and so zeke ends up losing him somewhere

(one day he swims past the stained glass windows with the merpeople and zeke's just like…ok good for u)

his best class is actually ancient runes, though he's pretty good at muggle studies since his stepmom is a muggle and he was pretty much raised by her after his mama died and grisha got with carla a few yrs later

his patronus is a manx cat, though he kind of wanted a monkey since they're his favourite animals

when someone in Gryffindor puts up posters for a debate club, zeke is the first one there, stirring up drama and giving his thoughts

despite having his own very deep rooted opinions, zeke prefers to start an argument and let everybody else fight it 

he never wears his robes correctly and is always being told off for having his shirt untucked or collar undone

and even though he cares very little for quidditch, you can guarantee that zeke has somehow acquired a quidditch jumper just because they look good

is the number 1 umbridge irritator — if the weasley twins aren't giving her more grey hairs, then zeke is

he is a yapper and cannot shut up or back down from an argument, even if he doesn't even believe in the point he's arguing for

his least favourite subject is charms, but simply because it's boring and always drags on before the end of their classes for the day

he must ALWAYS read the daily prophet whilst having breakfast

once both he and eren received a joint howler once that zeke deliberately didn't open for weeks and weeks until he forgot about it and it opened itself in the middle of the night

he's probably that student who calls the professors by their first names and despite getting endless detentions, he just doesn't stop

contrary to popular belief, zeke loves the library at Hogwarts but why tf is it so dark? he's forever falling asleep in there and has to be woken up by the librarian or one of the many ghosts

has no idea what he wants to do once Hogwarts is over — he feels like there's three jobs for wizards and none of them appeal to him, but he's got a while to figure it out yet, bless him

[just-a-girl-with-a-pistol]

I hate this room

[bioluminescentfrog]

I fucking hate my best friends sooooooo much she's making me come to terms with my feelings about a guy and im soooooooooo mad at her and she's going to never wake up again <3333333