#jjk 132
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epickiya722 · 9 months ago
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OH, SO Y'ALL TWINNING AGAIN?! ARE Y'ALL GONNA STOP?!
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seekers-who-are-lovers · 1 year ago
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You’re right, Mahito. I’m you. I wanted to reject you. Convince myself that you were wrong. But that doesn’t matter now. I'M GONNA KILL YOU. EVEN IF YOU COME BACK AS ANOTHER CURSE... I'LL KILL YOU. I’ll KILL YOU AGAIN. Change your form. Change your name. I’ll keep killing curses for as long as I can. That’s my role in all this. I don’t need to find meaning or a reason. Maybe a hundred years after my death, the meaning behind my actions will become apparent. In the grand scheme of things, I’m probably nothing more than a cog.
Yuji Itadori
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voxofthevoid · 2 months ago
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I'm finally going through my mentions from the last few weeks, so it's time for tag games!
Rules: Go to your (current/main) AO3 account and find the following:
Thanks for the tag, @naamah-beherit ❤️
What ratings do you write most of your fics under?
Oh, this is gonna shock nobody:
Explicit: 132
Teen and Up: 16
Mature: 16
General: 7
What are your top three fandoms?
Captain America – All Media Types: 78
Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga): 29
Hannibal: 25
What is the top character you write about?
Bucky and Steve are equally ranked, with 77 stories each.
What are your top three pairings?
James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers: 78
Gojo Satoru/Itadori Yuuji: 25
Will Graham/Hannibal Lector: 25
What are the top three additional tags?
Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence: 97
Anal Sex: 70
Oral Sex: 40
Does any of this surprise you?
NOPE. I'm a self-proclaimed and other-proclaimed porn writer, and canon divergence is my absolute favorite flavor of subgenre. And MCU and JJK are the fandoms I've written the most words for: 1.06 million for MCU and 1.08 million and counting for JJK. Everything here tracks 😂
Tagging (no pressure, as always) @actualalligator @cursedvibes @joeys-piano @eusuntgratie @m34gs @cherry-toxic @ddelline
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rats-hyperfixation-corner · 7 months ago
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day 132 of roboposting until the boi gets in
so this is Shigeru Chiba robo boi's Xrd voice, and along side voicing robo he has voiced SO many more characters like...
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voicing jogo in jjk witch i have yet to watch, but the memes are funny
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buggy the clown in one piece
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radiz in dragon ball
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hyness in kirby
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this gremlin
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Kazuma Kuwabara from YuYu Hakusho
and the goat himself
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yoshikage kira from jjba
there's prolly so much more i missed bc i know nothing about Japanese va's, and anime in general, but i just think this is neat
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bye
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wannaeatramyeon · 1 year ago
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hihi!! i thought this was funny and wanted to tell you😭
i was telling my friend about Goo and how i would absolutely marry him and they said that he needs their blessing. i asked what he can do to get their blessing and they said he needed to write them an essay about how much he loves me so, to entertain them, i wrote them an essay from Goo's perspective about why he wants to marry me with a 20 minute timer. it was 584 words in the end and I worked a miracle.
Moral of the story: Goo got the blessing😭so uhhh you can always write your way into someones life??
This tickled me, just imagining the unhinged ramblings from Goo POV mixed with your own. Drop it please.
Inbox clearing time! Non fic requests answered: 6. (Check it - plus my fave Lookism arcs!)
To the non-anon anon that I have not included and I don't know what to do with your message - No, I won't hold your hand while you poop. Good luck with that.
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Really?? I feel so... unhinged and nonsensical (even more so than usual) when I rant. Seriously thank you for reading!?!!?
PTJ did somewhat write women with more of a personality in his Life As A Loser Series so it seems more of a shame that he's lost his touch and catering much more towards teenage boys with his current series.
Which. Fine. Action manhwa - great. BUT if your target audience are teenage boys then yknow, wouldn't it be even BETTER to write some strong badass women so these impressionable youngsters realise that not all girls need saving, and oh look. Girls are human too. With their own ambitions and flaws and imperfections, just like everyone else.
If you must make them simp, form a harem. Also. FINE. At least give them something beyond that.
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Hey Black Anon! Sorry again for how long it took me to respond to your ask before, and hope it's going much better for yourself since your last request.
I'm muuuuch more responsive with DMs so if you ever wanna come out of anon - come shout at me in my DMs!!
HTF s2 is really... something. Completely lost the meaning of HTF and Viral Hit. Don't blame you for dropping it. Alas, the Taehoon grip on me is still going STRONG.
LOL. Me in a similar position, wondering if I should get into JJK.
Can I... recommend some of my fave arcs if you ever do decide to read Lookism? The ones I like are generally more story driven.
Vasco's backstory (prepare the tissues) - 52 - 57
Johan + Zack + Mira backstory (cult warning, another sad arc) - 132 - 138
Goddog (another pretty sad arc with Johan) - 199 - 213
Jacedichi Files (silly crime solving with Burn Knuckles) - 215 - 218
One Night (Johan + Jace!! Fun action) - 258 - 262
Jake Kim (PLEASE READ THIS IF NOTHING ELSE) - 302 - 318
Workers (2A) (Rescuing Sinu. Honestly, I cry almost every time. Read Jake Kim's arc to appreciate this!) - 372 - 392
Let me know if you ever get into it!!!
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Me??? Mine????? I cannot write that guy so thank you - that means A LOT to me! I will try harder to write a decent Eli (that doesn't devolve into ranting about his current direction).
Thank you for reading and being so friggin CUTE!! 💖
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I feel a vaguely threatening tone from this.
Like something Goo would recite before walking into a darkened warehouse with a crowbar 🤔
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Baby there's nothing noble about this, but it is actually more satisfying than my normal job lol (lolling through tears).
Thank you so much for reading!! My single braincell has been firing quite well with these ideas.
Anon. Honestly this is adorable, I've screenshat this for a pick me up ahhhhhhh 🥹
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My dear 🕊️ anon, thank you for reading my DG fic! I also feel very little for DG but I will admit I am coming around to him.
YES!!! I LOVE the idea of someone getting close to James Lee in his younger years, and him being soft for the reader.
And then I also like angst so let's bring those 2 things together. Heh.
Eeeee I also added that Remember fic to my list of faves that I have written.
Please. I also have a list of fictional men I am unwell over. Let's start a support group! 🫠
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posletsvet · 1 year ago
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hi arina!! i don’t know if you’ve talked about this before, but i was just curious; what’s your favorite jjk chapter? either one that you just generally enjoyed and/or really liked the writing in
Hi Eli!! <3
Oh, that's a tough one! Not to be predictable in my preferences, but when it comes to arcs, my two all-time favourites would be Hidden Inventory/Premature Death and Shibuya Incident arcs. I think what really seals the deal for me with the Hidden Inventory Arc is that Gege had to convey so much in the span of what is really just a handful of chapters, and what comes out of it as a result is a condensed, powerful message wired through and through with intense emotion. The architecture of characters' psychology is beautifully written, too. The same goes for the Shibuya Incident Arc, though in this case I'm looking more into the fights' choreography, and this arc contains fights that still have a lingering impression on me. And since this series is choke-full of characters fighting, that has to count for something!
But I'm getting carried away while not really answering your question, aren't I? That's probably because it'd be almost impossible for me to pick an individual chapter to call my favourite. And even if I could, it would depend on what chunk of the story I currently have spinning around in my brain at all hours of the day.
That being said, I do have a list of chapters that at least as of now stand out to me the most (I couldn't for the love of me choose just one, sorry):
Chapter 136: This chapter follows the resolution of one of my favourite battles in the entire manga, and, to tell the truth, I was torn between listing it or the 132 one here. But as the former is rather lore-heavy and introduces some fascinating points about the jujutsu world structure and how it functions, I ultimately decided to go with that one as I'm a sucker for thoughtful world-building. We also get one of the earliest insights into Kenjaku's character in this chapter, both their goals and motivations, and I'm forever fascinated with their manner to indulge in excessive monologues, I love this! Moreover, Yuki makes an appearance, so do I really need to say more?
Chapter 214: Sukuna taking over Megumi's body was a tragedy in the making from the very beginning, one that both characters and the audience could see approaching like dark clouds gathering over the horizon. It was tangible, it was recognized, it could be prevented. Still nothing substantial was done to avert it. It wasn't meant to be, but it still could not happen in any other way -- a prophecy in reverse. Excrutiatingly painful as it is, I find something alluring in this sort of fatalism. Sukuna's words in this chapter is also something that keeps haunting my mind as they bring up a very, very interesting discussion of the human condition. Does our ability to feel pain and still endure define us as human beings, or is suffering something we need to transcend in order to be one? Also, I love the tidbits of information hinting at some things yet to be revealed about Yuuji scattered across this chapter!
Chapter 236: If I'm being honest, it's hard to navigate through my discordant thoughts and conflicting impressions of this chapter, but perhaps that is the point as my mind just keeps coming back to it over and over again. Not to mention that I cried my eyes out over it. Aside from all the emotion that's colouring my perception, this chapter presented me with a fascinating conflict and really put the cogs inside of my brain into work. While we do get a profound insight into Gojo's character, the conversation he holds with his dead friends alone allows for so many different takes and interpretations that he still remains an enigma. I also adore Gege's use of the 'unreliable narrator' trope as this chapter drives home the point that everything characters say should be taken with a grain of salt. It somewhat made me re-evaluate my experience as a reader as one's reading of a certain character or event really says more about that person than it does about the story.
Honorable mention: Chapter 125: Nobara's backstory has a very, very special place in my heart and I can't quite place my finger on the reason why (I mean, aside from the obvious one).
I guess that would be it, thank you so much for the ask!!
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theclearblue · 10 months ago
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Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments each from Jujutsu Kaisen and One Piece? And your top 5 (or top 3) favorite characters from each series?
Ooooh this is going to be difficult for me but I am very happy to! I think I gush about the characters I like a lot on my blog already ajljfljgf so I'll just list the characters, but I'll go more in depth on my top moments for both series. Uhhh major spoilers for both series under the cut.
For JJK, my top five characters are Yuuji, Kenjaku, Yuki, Geto, and Choso (and for a top ten, I would include Gojo, Nobara, Maki, Higuruma, and Mahito).
Ok for JJK, I thought this was gonna be easier but there are really a lot of moments I love, so some honorable mentions: Junpei's death, Yuuji and Nobara vs. Cursed Wombs, Gojo sealed in the prison realm, Yuuji vs. Choso, Nanami's Death, Yuuji vs. Higuruma, Sukuna taking over Megumi (yeah I considered all of these for the list lmao)
Premature Death (Ch. 76-78)
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I certainly enjoyed JJK before this point, but Geto's character arc in Hidden Inventory is where I went "Oh, this is something special." In JJK 0, I was definitely intrigued by him and his relationship to Gojo, but without context, he comes off a little corny with how over the top evil he seems. And then we see him in Hidden Inventory, and he's just this...normal and polite kid? He wants to protect non-sorcerers? But then Riko dies. And the jujutsu system fails him, and his fall from grace is so tragic but also realistic to his character. We see him display this black and white thinking from the very beginning, "Jujutsu sorcerers HAVE to protect the weak non-sorcerers" flipped to "We need to protect jujutsu sorcerers from the non-sorcerers." Geto is a victim, but he doesn't identify the cause correctly. I think he's such a tragic character and really reinforces the themes of JJK so wonderfully, the system failed him (and really every young sorcerer), there was no support, and it really gives weight to Gojo's character and mission to become a teacher and raise strong sorcerers that can support each other.
2. Yuuji and Todo vs. Mahito (Ch. 127-132)
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This is still probably the best fight in the series and it's a really good example of how fights can push forward the characters and themes in a story. JJK loves it's parallels, and one of my favorite parallels is Geto and Yuuji, both looking down at their dead friend and just, breaking from it. Yuuji's resolve just crumbling after seeing Nobara die is so heartbreaking, he isn't able to beat Choso, or suppress Sukuna from wreaking havoc, or save Nanami or Nobara. And it presents the same question that Geto faced with failing to save Riko or defeat Toji. Why is Yuuji a sorcerer? I think that Todo coming into this fight in a support role was a really good choice, where he reminds Yuuji that he still has things and people to fight for, what has he been entrusted with? And Mahito really proves himself to be the best villain in the series here, he's such a good foil to Yuuji and the way that they push each other's character developments is unlike anything I've seen. SO many good and important moments from this fight, and ending with Yuuji's "I'm you" speech? Maybe the best moment in the whole series.
3. Maki vs. The Zenin Clan (Ch. 148-151)
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I'll always stand by the opinion that Mai's death is the best in the entire series and it's not even close. Maki and Mai's story is just so tragic, the way that they grew apart, but then reconciled but only at the end? I think their story is a really good way in how people react differently to oppressive systems, where Maki wants to break free from it and prove that she is strong, while Mai is "happy enough" to live under that system as long as she can have her sister by her side. She doesn't want to face the backlash that standing up for herself will cause. And for their family to turn on them and be willing to kill them in order to uphold the systems of power they have in place? Genuinely evil shit but it's realistic in how they treat Toji, Maki, and Mai, they are all victims of this family. Mai giving her blessing to Maki to "destroy everything" is another contender for top moment in this series, and Maki only being able to gain her full power by losing her sister, the one person she wanted to protect, is so cruel. Maki's character arc is truly one of the best in the series.
4. Yuki and Choso vs. Kenjaku
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So this is the entry I definitely have the most mixed feelings on, I don't love everything about this fight (...namely...how it ended..) but I love A LOT about it so it's still on the list. Every interaction between these characters is endlessly interesting to watch, and I could write an essay on this fight. Yuki and Kenjaku as foils to each other, wanting to achieve the same goal of optimizing cursed energy but in completely different ways. Choso and Kenjaku's fucked up relationship where Kenjaku has been so cruel to, and Choso standing up to Kenjaku to fight for his brothers and starting his new life as a human instead of a curse. Yuki and Choso having to reckon with their humanity and their inhuman nature (star plasma vessel and cursed womb), every dynamic is just so amazing. And that's not to even mention Tengen's dynamic with both Yuki and Kenjaku. So many good character moments throughout this fight and I'm so invested in all four of them.
5. Takaba vs. Kenjaku (Ch. 239-243)
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Sooo the Gojo vs. Sukuna fight was good fun and all, but undeniably I was getting pretty bored of it by the end. It's an alright fight but I think it was stretched out in order to line up Chapter 236 with Gojo being sealed in the prison realm in the anime. I needed something new, and oh man, Takaba vs. Kenjaku was completely unexpected but it blew me out of the water. This is genuinely one of if not the most unique shonen fights I have ever read, and Gege just really seemed to be in his element writing this. Not only is this one of the funniest parts of the entire series, but it does a lot of favors for both Takaba and Kenjaku as characters. JJK is big on duos, and it truly feels like they found their other half in this fight and push each other in new ways. Was the perfect breather before jumping back to Sukuna, and while I'm also not a huge fan of how it ended, there's too much I like about it to leave it off the list.
Ok, now for the hard part with One Piece lmao. For characters, I'm splitting it into a strawhats and non-strawhats list because I think it would be actually impossible otherwise ajfssdklj. For strawhats, my top five are Zoro, Robin, Sanji, Luffy, and Brook. For non-strawhats, it's Corazon, Law, Pudding, Crocodile, and Vivi.
Honorable Mentions: Shank's saving Luffy/strawhat passoff, Zoro vs. Mihawk, Nami's "Help Me", Luffy climbing up Drum Island with Nami and Sanji, Alabasta goodbye, Ringing the Golden Bell in Skypeia, Luffy vs. Usopp, CP9 Reveal, Sanji and Sogeking on the Water Train, Franky backstory, Sogeking shooting down the world gov. flag, Robin's "I want to live", Going Merry funeral, Brook's backstory, Luffy punches the celestial dragon, Boa Hancock's backstory, Ace's death, Luffy "I still have my friends", Fisher Tiger backstory, Kyro's backstory, "Raizo is safe", Brook vs. Big Mom, Pedro's death, Luffy vs. Katakuri, Yasuie's death, Hiyori standing up to Orochi, Oden/Roger backstory, Kanjuro reveal, Sanji asking Robin to save him from Black Maria, Robin vs. Black Maria, Sanji vs. Queen, Gear 5, Kuma and Bonney backstory (this is truly an evil task you've given me I love all of these moments and so many more lmao).
Robin's backstory (Enies Lobby)
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If Water 7 and Enies Lobby counted as a "moment" I would, but unfortunately those are two full arcs lmao so I decided to choose just one aspect to include here. What can I even say that hasn't been said. Robin's backstory just perfectly explains where she comes from, her strengths and her flaws, and makes her character journey and development so special. No wonder she's had a hard time accepting the strawhats help, her entire life she's been an outcast and even branded as a demon just for the knowledge she carries. Her goodbye to her mother and to Saul are heartbreaking, and to see how she spends 20 years running away and not trusting anyone? It makes it so special when the strawhats tell her "You deserve to live, we won't abandon you, we are your friends no matter what and we will help you." Such a good backstory that not only cements Robin as one of the best characters in the series, but is so important from a world building and thematic perspective for the series as a whole.
2. Zoro's "Nothing Happened" (Thriller Bark)
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This moment really cemented Zoro as one of my favorite characters, and is just a moment that has so many layers you can explore (you should check out melonteees recent video "Reframing Nothing Happened" she puts my feelings better than I probably can here lmao). I ultimately find this scene really tragic and scary, but wow does it just highlight Zoro's character development and how much he loves and respects Luffy and the rest of the crew. At the beginning of the series, this is a character who tells Luffy that if he gets in the way of his dream, he'll kill him. We see right before this that Zoro survives a near death experience and is really glad to still be alive, this isn't someone who wants to die. Yet when Kuma comes around, and he realizes he's outmatched, he starts bargaining with Kuma to save Luffy's life. He's not even giving up his dream here, telling Kuma you'll have the head of someone who would have been the best swordsman in the world someday. Him taking out Sanji and protecting him as well, just in this almost quiet anger when Sanji says "you'll have to find a new cook", it's such a good moment as well. Him accepting the pain bubble, it almost killing him, and him saying "nothing happened" because he doesn't want to upset Luffy with the sacrifice? Gahhh I could talk about this moment forever, and it's such a turning point for both Zoro and all of the strawhats I think.
3. Kuma separates the Strawhats (Sabaody Archipelago)
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Contender for one of the most evil things Oda has ever done. This arc is full of so many amazing moments, and it just builds up to this terrifying climax where it feels like the strawhats are just getting hunted down, and each strawhat disappearing one by one just made my jaw drop, I stopped watching One Piece for like five days after this lmao. Luffy's desperation to help his crew and breaking down after, Zoro having this trauma response to Kuma, Sanji noticing and trying to protect Zoro, Brook trying to divert Kuma away, the bubbles popping one by one as each strawhat is sent away? Jesus Christ, I was a mess. And the decision to send away Zoro first, the protector and really just the rock of the crew that everyone can rely on, and Robin last, after going through SO much to try and protect her and to reassure her that she's safe with them? Wow. This moment and the Nothing Happened scene just got even more depth with Kuma's backstory, it's just seared into my brain.
4. Law's backstory (Dressrosa)
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Anon I want you to know just looking at this picture and thinking about Law's backstory INSTANTLY made me tear up lmao, nothing has affected me quite like this in One Piece. Corazon's story and his personality and his just, absolute and unconditional love for Law made me fall in love with this character. He's been through SO much and instead of turning out like his brother because of it, he just becomes this very kind and caring person that wants to protect people from the ruin that Doflamingo brings. And just how Law is this very angry and hurt kid that gets taken in by Doflamingo because he sees Law's anger and is reminded of himself, and Corazon just is able to divert him from taking this path by just genuinely caring for Law, trying to find ANY doctor that will treat Law's illness and then being willing to steal the Op Op fruit in order to save his life? And just...at the end trying to not let Law that he got hurt, hiding Law away and telling him he loves him before facing Doffy, him CLINGING onto life in order to keep the silencing on Law so that he can cry and grieve for Law as he runs away? When I tell you I was SOBBING when Corazon died that's not an exaggeration. Just the pure unconditional love and the found family between them is so beautiful, and the way Law dedicates his entire life to Corazon and carries on his legacy? It just gives me chills.
5. Sanji in Whole Cake Island (...Whole Cake Island)
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Ummm I'm going to cheat here because I'm including Sanji's entire character arc in this entry, but it's impossible to choose just one moment from it. From his backstory, to Sanji vs. Luffy, to finding out about Pudding's betrayal, to him returning to Luffy, to him saving the day with making a cake, everything about Sanji in this arc is such perfection. There are so many layers to this character and similar to Robin, seeing his second backstory really answers a lot of questions about him and where so many of his strengths and his flaws come from, and how Luffy is able to make him realize "We are your family, no matter what we will help you and you matter so much to us." I think the themes in Whole Cake Island about family are so powerful, and exploring them through Sanji was such a brilliant move that really did his character lot of favors, and made him one of the most interesting and dynamic strawhats.
This was a lot of fun for me anon so thank you so much for asking!! I don't know if you were expecting like, and entire essay on jjk and one piece but I'm always happy to provide alkfjslj
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dwarfbutch · 2 years ago
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I posted 8,292 times in 2022
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I tagged 2,818 of my posts in 2022
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My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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112 notes - Posted June 18, 2022
#4
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hes had enough
245 notes - Posted February 10, 2022
#3
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#2
what about hairy WOMEN
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My #1 post of 2022
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epickiya722 · 1 year ago
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Yuji pulling a Jason Voorhees over there lmao??????
He really was pulling a Jason Voorhees. He just walks after Mahito during the sequence. And I loved it! To me at least, it just makes Itadori more frightening in Mahito's eyes.
Like, imagine you're running away from the guy you tormented and he's not even running after you. He just walks, and still manages to catch up with you!
Terrifying!
They even added the whole Mahito's ankle being twisted scene and not being able to even heal himself which reminds me how in horror movies the victim would be running away and falls, be it injury or something else and the killer not even running after them.
In the manga, he kinda looks like he's sprinting (?) after him in one shot. Don't hate it though! This is one of my favorite scenes from the manga. (Of course, it is. Itadori is my favorite.)
I feel like here it just shows how persistent Itadori is in his goal of killing Mahito. He flipped the script on him, "I am you".
The anime expanded on that chase sequence and I was not at all disappointed.
Anime or manga, I was hyped for him here.
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thatgirlonstage · 2 years ago
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I posted 5,715 times in 2022
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My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Want to cry about Johnchurch today, because apparently I do
I think about… Lucretia could only erase what she could write down. And Merle was the only one who ever went into Parley. Merle was the only one who ever met John. And Merle (Clint) notoriously has a bad memory. Whatever recap he gave to the crew, and to Lucretia for her journals, was never going to be all that detailed.
(And I’m willing to wager, even out of what he did remember, he didn’t tell them ALL of it. Some of those moments were private.)
So Lucretia does her best, but her erasure of the Parley sessions is… spotty. Incomplete. Merle can’t remember WHO the man in a suit that he played chess with was, or what happened to him, or where he met him. But he remembers the man’s face, in snatches and moments. He remembers a tumbled mix of emotions—anger, exasperation, worry, hope, pain. Never fear. He remembers thinking he probably ought to be afraid, that most people would be, that it would make a lot more sense to be afraid. But fear was never quite the right description of what he felt, thinking of the man in the suit.
His memories of the man in the suit are… strange. Fractured. His head hurts if he tries to think about them for too long or too closely, if he tries too hard to remember, to put it back in context. But snatches of their conversation drift to him, across the years. Strange, sometimes incomprehensible snippets, where the words out of his own mouth don’t make any damn sense.
(This works, by the way, with the headcanon that Merle’s spotty memory occasionally spits out something backward, something ought-to-be-voidfished, like when he says in the first episode that he feels like he and Magnus and Taako have grown apart. There’s a little bit more of an opening, a little bit more of a handhold for the memories to pry their way back in, than there is for the others.)
And he knows—senses, remembers, intuits—that he shouldn’t tell anyone else about his memories of the man in the suit. He feels, with an almost violent certainty, utterly strange considering how vague his memories of the man himself are, that no one else would understand. So he stays quiet. The man lives in his head and his fogged memories, at once intrusive and comforting. The man was important to him, or is important to him still. Merle isn’t sure which one it is. He’s never been one to let himself get stuck on quandaries, theological, existential, physical, or otherwise, though, so he lets it be. He’ll meet the man again one day. He feels quite sure of that. In the right moment, and the right place, he’ll meet the man again, and something about his shambles of a life will click back into place.
The day of Story and Song happens, and everything rushes back, and the only moment of calm he gets for the next several hours is the near-silent goodbye on the beach, during which he and John do nothing but exist side by side, for a little while. It’s all either of them really want or are able to do. Anything else is too messy, too painful. This way, it ends in peace.
Everyone else—all the other members of the red robes—they will have time to reconcile, to work through piecing back together their shattered memories and disjointed lives. Merle will have time for a proper talk with Lucretia, for a joyful reunion with Lup. He’ll have time to sit down at a table with Davenport a week later and play euchre, until both of them, almost without warning, find that they’re both crying. He’ll have time to pull his kids onto his lap and tell them his own version of the Story, of how they fit into it. He’ll have time to puzzle his life back into a complete picture.
He doesn’t get time with John.
He’s walked around with a half-static memory of the man for a decade, and there’s no time to process the truth before they have to say goodbye.
No one else knew him. No one else will ever mourn him. Everyone else is celebrating his demise. If there’s grief, it’s only Merle’s.
His end is peaceful, by the shore, and silent, because Merle has no time to unpick all the things he wants to say.
That’s alright, though. They both know that’s alright. John’s been muddled too, if differently, unable to think clearly for years, crushed beneath the collective scream of The Hunger. It’s a blessing to have that moment of clarity and peace at all.
They don’t need to say anything. They both already know.
Still, it aches in Merle’s chest at night, sometimes, like the pain of his phantom arm, all the things he might have said and never did.
210 notes - Posted January 26, 2022
#4
Do you have any good Humans are space orcs/humans are weird (that kind of thing) short story links?
Hoo okay so the reason that I was asking about the Doctors Without Borders one (which is here, incidentally, and which you should read if you haven't come across it before) is that 1) I have been doing some personal archival work to save some internet stories offline, but 2) I have been historically good about tagging my fandom stuff but have unfortunately left most non-fandom stuff untagged, and by the time I realized I ought to've created a humans are weird tag it was too late, so my blog is Not a good place to try and find them. But, since I'm trying to dig them up for myself anyway, I can share the ones I've managed to find so far. And hey: open invitation to anyone who wants to put links to their favorites of the Humans Are Weird stories in the reblogs or replies!
I'm also going to recommend you check out blogs like @what-are-even-humans and @space-australians, which exist to archive these sorts of stories. I will also do what someone did in the replies of my query post and point you to r/HFY and specifically its sidebar of links to previous classics and must-reads -- I'm not as familiar with that bc I don't use reddit so much but it helped me dig a couple of these back up.
But onto a few highlights:
Stabby the Space Roomba is required reading, he is our beloved Tumblr mascot of Humans Are Weird and you'll see Stabby referenced in other stories like this
Less a humans-specifically-are-weird and more of a Earth-is-a-death-world in general, but as I remember it, this post actually predates the explosion of Humans are Weird/Humans are Space Australians/Humans are Deathworlders on tumblr, and I suspect helped inspire it as people went from "wow our planet is full of weird shit" to "maybe... we also... are some weird shit". Take a wander through the notes of that one, it has a million different branching reblog chains and it's different every time I see it.
Humans Are Unstoppable Until They Aren't
Drake McDougal (Part One) (Part Two) (Alternate Part Two)
Last Contact
You Really Want a Human (Ginna's Story) (Miscellaneous)
I KNOW there are more that I want to find again that I'm gonna have to get creative about searching for (again, open invitation to drop your favorites on this post!) but that's what I have for now and it should get you started.
217 notes - Posted November 15, 2022
#3
Hey does anyone have a link to that one particular humans are space orcs post where the premise is like all the other planets are terrified to make contact with humans but then one planet gets the plague and a human ship turns up and it's the space red cross?
I'm sure it's on my blog somewhere but yknow *gestures at tumblr's search system*
237 notes - Posted November 14, 2022
#2
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Made a Yuri on Ice meme while talking to a friend about genre conventions in sports anime the other day and I feel strongly that I ought to inflict it on the world
[ID: The galaxy brain meme. Next to the smallest brain the text reads, “Yuri doesn’t need a sports anime protagonist superpower because he’s already an internationally competitive figure skater.” Next to the middle brain the test reads, “Yuri doesn’t have a sports anime protagonist superpower, which is not only narratively appropriate for his character but also largely the point of the whole series. He is a skilled and dedicated athlete whose greatest achievements come from passion and tireless hard work, but all of that can only flourish under the support and guidance of people who love him and see his potential, even when he cannot see it himself. YoI is about the achievements that come from commitment, because it is at heart a love story.” Next to the largest brain the text reads, “Yuri’s sports anime protagonist superpower is that he’s sexy.” /end ID]
434 notes - Posted January 2, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
The sending stone died before Cerrit made it out. And Cerrit is a full-classed rogue. No Sending, no spells at all. With nothing but destroyed continent beneath him, he’d have no way to contact anyone.
His family had *no idea* he made it out. They very probably assumed he didn’t.
When the entire continent of Dunemas went dark, when the news started to filter back of its destruction, when the scant survivors started trying to reach their families…there was no reason to believe that Cerrit had escaped.
Survivors and their stories emerge—but they’re civilians, mostly. Regular people who escaped on ships, through teleport, through trees.
The ones from Avalir and Cathmoíra have one particular story to tell: at the end, the Herald told them that the ring of gold, the magisters, the leaders of the city would go down with the ship. That no space on what lifeboats they had would be taken from Avalir’s people.
So that’s the answer: Cerrit, too, would have gone down with the ship.
His wife probably had a difficult conversation with their children. Told them about sacrifice, told them sometimes we lose people but they will always love us just the same, told them that their dad sent them away from the city because he loved them more than anything in the world and then spent every last moment he could trying to save as many more people as he could because he was a good man, because he cared so deeply, because he found problems and fixed them. These conversations probably happened amidst panic and chaos, as news of the attack of Vasselheim spread, as the gods descended and magic raged out of control across Exandria, as the Betrayer gods wrought as much destruction as they could cause.
Were they still at home, when Cerrit finally found them? Did their home still exist after all those weeks he took flying across the ocean? Did they need to flee somewhere safer? Did Kir scrawl a note somewhere the wreckage — “Wingspan: gone north-by-northeast. Look for trail markers on the trees” because he’d promised, mom, he promised, and what if he’s coming but he can’t find us because we’re not here? Did Cerrit have to bring every ounce of his investigation and tracking skills — with no magic, no Avalir, no Patia to let him look back at memories, no Quay to inspire him, no Nydas to fund or enchant any helpful items, no partner to compare notes with, nothing but his sharp eyes and his brain and utter fucking determination — to follow after his family, weeks on an already weeks-long journey, slow and messy and fearing every day he might be too late?
Did he show up almost unrecognizable, head to toe in soot and dirt, some new scar from his near brushes with death, some fresh wounds still bound in bandages for want of anyone with healing spell slots? Did he find his family weary, grieving, scared, but whole and—for the moment—safe? Did they even believe it was him at first? Did they fear he was a ghost, or worse, some horror dragged from the wreckage of Avalir and reanimated by an enraged Asmodeus? Did he take off a bandage to show he still bleeds, and bleeds red, did he kiss his children’s heads and call Kir “Talon”, and see Maya clutching the sphere as if she hasn’t let go of it since it landed in her hands, and tell her—voice breaking at the reminder of Patia, at the first thing he has seen in months besides himself that survived Avalir’s destruction—that he is so, so proud of her, and more importantly he loves her so, so much, and then they knew, then they were sure: Cerrit kept his promise.
1,469 notes - Posted June 27, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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tojiscrack · 6 months ago
Text
𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐋: 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐄𝐀𝐑
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summary: 18.1k words — you and the rest of your friend group experience all the changes and activities that high school has to offer.
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notes: so during the making of this chapter, i put up a poll where i left it up to my little liars (you guys) on what colour the school should be. as much as i absolutely HATED that the majority of you picked blue over red (i'm still salty about it) i'm glad 132 of you actually participated in the vote. now enjoy this monstrosity.
tw: swearing, mention of dicks, mention of suicide in a metaphor, and that's probably it lmao
i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.
previous chapter :)
next chapter :)
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
2017-2018 freshman year
"i don't like this."
"nobody cares, porcupine."
the two of you were currently sat in satoru's — correction: mr gojo's — office at school. it was orientation week and both you and megumi had collected your ID cards and your locker numbers. you were yet to receive your timetable for the coming year, but you were certain that they'd hand it to you some time this week, seeing as freshman year officially started in the coming week.
megumi had put up a pretty stubborn front when it came to admiring the larger corridors and the midnight blue lockers littered around the entire school (which was pretty massive, you had to note). you imagined that it would be terribly easy to get lost in, with the corridors no longer as narrow as the ones back in your middle school and with several other buildings attached to the main one in order to make room for specific departments for specific subjects. currently, you found yourself in the science department, satoru's — mr gojo's — expertise, fiddling with the new keys you'd have to take extra care of.
you'd read about jujutsu high all over the internet (and heard quite a lot about it from satoru himself). apparently, he, ieiri, and suguru attended here back in their youth. the pictures you'd seen in his camera roll, and on several polaroids, indicated that it had been a really good time ("the best time of my life," satoru would never fail to remind you). changing schools for the third time had become much easier knowing that you might experience everything that they did. it also didn't hurt that high school lasted for four long years. there were plenty of things you could do to make tons of memories in that time, especially due to the fact that yuji and nobara had both found seats in jujutsu high too.
sato— mr gojo's office was pretty decent. the walls around you were littered with several display boards showcasing a bunch of his students' work and diagrams of subcellular structures. he clearly took pride in his teaching, even if he randomly spurts out that he'd rather have their yearbook pictures up instead. apparently they had been horrendous, but a good laugh all the same. though, you'd hate to think what this man would do after you and megumi left the school. probably put up our identification pictures, you thought with a grimace.
"so," he'd said, leaning back in his spinning chair with a grin, "you nervous?"
as megumi eyed the display boards with a look of concentration you'd only seen on him when he would read the questions presented to him in an exam, you answered cheerfully.
"excited, mainly." you were seated on the chair opposite your future teacher. "but megumi was throwing a fit about it on the way here —"
"i was not," he harshly interrupted you. you did not have to look over your shoulder to tell that he was glaring at the back of your head.
sa— mr gojo paid his reaction no mind, only continued to tease him as though he hadn't spoken at all.
"i can tell! you look kinda roughed up, kid," he said, and you nearly laughed when megumi patted down his haywire hair as if it were a new thing for it to be standing on different ends. mr gojo merely flashed him a toothy smile. "i mean, that picture on your ID card —"
"that wasn't my fault," megumi snapped coldly, fiddling with his lanyard that was falling out of the pocket of his pants. "the lady kept telling me to smile."
you perked up excitedly. "but get this: he told her that is him smiling."
the picture itself was megumi being typical megumi, a bored expression that could very well be mistaken for anger. you'd never let him hear the end of it. mr gojo threw his head back and laughed.
"i'm leaving —"
"okay, okay, we're sorry!" you said hurriedly, sitting up in your chair because slouching meant that you wouldn't be able to turn and face your friend with urgency.
megumi glowered at you, but did not leave. you took that as a win as he came to stand behind you, eyes narrowed at s— mr gojo.
"i hope we get ieiri as our teacher," he grumbled, because apparently, ieiri had also taken a job here to teach.
mr gojo, looking mildly offended, simply laughed his statement off, tilting his head forward to present his weirdly-blue eyes to the two of you behind his sunglasses. you wished someone would get this man brown contacts.
"keep an eye out for your timetables, yeah?" he responded, his tone all too teasing.
you did not mind having mr gojo as a teacher, to be perfectly honest. as annoying as he could be, he was extremely laidback and matched your humour in ways many adults could not. megumi might hate him, but you supposed that it was only because you and mr gojo would team up to make fun of him, no matter the situation. there were, however, instances where you thought megumi didn't actually hate him. not really, at least. but that was a story for another time.
sitting up straight, your back to the head of the chair, you tilted your head slightly. "wait... did you do something so that we'd be the unlucky few to have you as our teacher?"
mr gojo's lips pursed. if it hadn't been for his sunglasses, you supposed that his eyes were probably wide enough to give you a shock wave and send you straight to a hospital bed.
"why would you be unlucky to have me as your teacher?" he demanded, clearly offended.
mr gojo had always put himself on this pedestal where nobody could ever find him anything but endearing. in short, he truly believed that he was above everyone and that if you have a class with him, you should be grateful, if anything.
you barely had time to respond before megumi cut in coldly:
"you'd lose your own head if it wasn't screwed on tight."
mr gojo raised a brow at him, pulling out a small mirror from his desk drawer and holding it up to take long glances at himself. "how could i ever lose such a beautiful thing?"
megumi looked as though he wanted to shatter the mirror and everything else in the room just from louring.
"you keep a mirror in your office?" you questioned, confused.
mr gojo lowered the mirror and frowned. "you don't?"
"millennials," you heard megumi sigh from behind you.
mr gojo tucked the mirror away and fiddled with the framed picture he seemed to have propped up on his desk, its back facing you. since both you and megumi had entered his office, he seemed reluctant to show it to the both of you, storing it away with a cheeky grin you felt meant trouble. even now, he seemed to be taking glances at it and chuckling to himself, as if the two of you were part of an inside joke you had no knowledge of.
with the framed picture now resting on his lap, cleanly out of your sight, he looked up at you, lazily spinning on his chair.
"are you guys taking any extra-curriculars here?" he asked, perhaps the first ever serious question he'd posed to you that day.
"no, not me," you answered truthfully. you actually hadn't even given it a slight bit of thought. "but megumi wants to take football!"
mr gojo beamed. "really?"
megumi nodded. "heard they had a good pitch and everything."
"great coach too," the white haired male added. "the old one left last year. i had to fill in for him till the new one came around. you'll like him."
in saying that, you had expected his gaze to be directed at megumi, who had shown genuine interest in the sport. however, his head had lowered ever so slightly, showing that he was looking at you instead; you, who had shown no interest in taking an extra-curricular, namely football, at all.
"were you on the football team when you were here?" asked megumi, the harsh tone he usually used with mr gojo now lowered and at ease.
mr gojo shot him a lazy grin. "nah, i did basketball."
"so why did you fill in for the football team then?"
"i'm not bad at football," he said calmly, but you already knew that seeing as the annual family football game was usually dominated by either him or toji. but for once, he didn't sound cocky about it either. "i'm really good at it, obviously. i just prefer basketball."
before either of you could respond, the door behind you opened abruptly. annoyance ran through you, swift as an arrow, for the conversation had just begun to get interesting. all three of you peered at the door, watching as a head of a blonde, stern woman popped through the gap, lips pursing at the sight of you and megumi.
"no students allowed in the teacher's lounge, mr gojo," the woman had stated icily.
you decided that whoever this karen was, you didn't like her much. she stirred up old memories of a teacher from kindergarten that you weren't too fond of, and judging by the bored look on megumi's face, you were certain that he also agreed (a rare occurrence, seeing as the two of you were usually on opposing ends of several arguments).
mr gojo didn't look too pleased at the interruption either. already slouching in his chair as it was, he barely sat up straight to respond to her.
"i'm their legal guardian," he sneered, discontent. "and this is my office."
the woman, clearly disoriented, left without another word. you let out a low whistle.
"who was that beauty?" you said, looking back at mr gojo with raised brows.
"i like to call her negative nancy," he said, before standing up and walking around his desk to gesture to the door, ushering you out. "but anyway, you should check out the football pitch! i think the new coach is out there too, it'd be good to introduce yourselves!"
you and megumi made your way over to the door, a sense of delirium washing over you. the one major thing you'd been looking forward to out of everything was the football pitch and the late night games that would take place. due to mai showing you several clips of how rowdy the games could get, you only wished that high school would come sooner in order to experience it all in real time.
as the two of you made your way down to the football pitch, passing several classrooms filled with people listening intently to an adult doing a speech, you spotted tsumiki leading a line of students down to what looked like the school library. you instinctively glanced at megumi.
"she's part of the student council," he reminded you, continuing to walk past the library and then outside the building. "she has to help out with this stuff."
"ooh, maybe i could do that too," you commented determinedly.
megumi looked down at you, monotonous.
"you have to be elected in."
"that's no big deal!"
"no one would vote for you," he said at last, continuing to walk and not stopping even though you had, stumped and stupefied.
"that's rude, porcupine!"
he ignored you, figuring that you'd follow him eventually; you did.
it wasn't long before your constant bickering had lead you to the football pitch in no time... and it was everything you'd imagined and more.
it was like any old football field, but wider, larger, bigger: surrounding the field of grass was the running track that went round in one giant oval. behind you were the seats, benches upon benches that went higher with each step in order to make space for every viewer to sit comfortably. the field itself was adorned with several white lines, each marked with expert precision, ready and prepared for any football game that would take place. on much higher ground, behind the benches, was a wide, dark blue building, with speakers attached to the left, middle, and right sides of the roof. it was also adorned with several massive windows on the front, allowing you to see that the inside also had seats. you squinted your eyes to clear your vision a bit and found that there was a microphone for each chair.
"i was hoping for the school to be red, like the one your mom wanted us to go to," you stated, eyeing the blue on the benches with disgust. 
"i like blue," megumi countered calmly. 
you scowled at him. "no, red is better. who the hell made the decision to decorate it all blue?"
megumi stared off into the distance, breaking the fourth wall and peering at the people who were left the responsibility to make the choice, deadpanned.
until you broke the silence, tugging on the arm of his shirt to grab his attention.
"am i seeing things or is there someone standing over there?" you asked quietly, pointing at the figure standing in the middle of the field, unmoving. 
you and megumi were on the pink track, therefore the distance between the two of you and the mysterious person in the centre of the field was great. you wouldn't be at fault for making a mistake with your presumption.
 "probably the new coach," your stoic friend responded, simultaneously leering at the person. 
upon further inspection, it looked to be a pretty tall man, perhaps tall enough to be at even satoru's height (and satoru was pretty damn tall, which he never let anyone forget).
"let's go," said megumi, turning away to leave the pitch.
you hadn't moved, blinking at him in confusion. 
"you don't want to introduce yourself?" you questioned, addled.
megumi shook his head; you sighed exaggeratedly and pulled him in by his arm. surprisingly, you didn't need to put any extra effort in doing so: megumi put up no fight when you dragged him along.
"don't be so shy, porcupine," you said, your tone teasing because you knew pretty well that he wouldn't like it one bit. hell would freeze over before you ever neglected a single day of annoying him till he snapped. "the emo in you is showing."
"i'll hit you."
"you wouldn't," you sang, and weren't surprised when he didn't argue with you on that. "now c'mon, malakai —"
"you're really testing my patience, mermaid —"
but you'd found no time to start a brawl with him (as you usually would) at his cruel comment. instead, you stopped dead in your tracks, your arms still wrapped around one of megumi's against your torso, but your eyes were no longer focused on him. instead, you were ogling at something in front of you, namely the peculiar being that the two of you had questioned only a few minutes prior. 
you felt megumi's free hand poke at your cheek.
"what's wrong with you—"
"MASAMICHI?" you yelled, uncaring of the fact that your emo friend had flinched at the sudden volume of your voice. 
initially, megumi had thought your cry of the name of your former p.e teacher from middle school was a mistake. after all, there were numerous times in the long years that he'd known you where you were wrong, whether it be in an argument, a factual comment, or even your opinion on something (he held no regard for the fact that an opinion can't actually be wrong, but you were always an exception for him). however, when the figure at the centre of the field became stiff with your call, he had a pressing feeling that today must've been the night of the blue moon or something: you were actually right.
"MASAMICHI YAGA!" you repeated, louder and with less questioning in your voice. 
megumi's arm had become loose in your hold, he slowly took it back, grateful for the distraction. you didn't mind.
the man had finally turned around as you hurriedly dived forward, more excitement in you at the idea that your favourite former teacher (no matter how many times he'd yelled at you) had followed you here! you had to be dreaming, there was no way this was happening.
coach yaga's appearance had changed over the years since you'd first met him. he was still as tall as ever with a muscular frame and tanned skin. though what stuck out to you the most was his hair. where it used to lie flat on his head, barely any to run his hands through, now he was sporting some that were flying up on different ends, short yet spiky. the rest of his head had remained shaved.
the final thing, along with his frame, moustache and goatee combination that had remained the same, was the tired, annoyed, and exasperated expression on his face, as if simply being in your presence was a chore.
"megumi, pinch me," you said once you'd arrived in front of your former teacher, staring up at him in awe.
"gladly," your friend had responded.
from the corner of your eye, you could see his hand flying towards yours — you slapped it away without a second thought or a single glance. 
"of all the high schools you could've gone to," coach yaga sighed, staring down at you as if you were the bane of his existence (you might as well have been), "it's the one i happened to join this year."
"right?" you perked up, thrilled. "isn't that great?"
megumi thought he looked anything but thrilled. he seemed to be questioning his choice in partaking in that long process of application forms and interviews for the job here, clearly. and when megumi caught a glimpse of you, practically buzzing with excitement, it was as if all the memories of your troublesome nature had come flooding back to him in one go. he thought he understood what coach yaga was so distraught about. he thinks he might have even experienced it once or twice.
coach yaga seemed to have come to terms with it, for he let out a long, drawn out sigh and then turned to face megumi with a critical look.
"you been practicing over the summer, fushiguro?" he said, voice gruff and stern. "you once said you wanted to take football properly in high school. you haven't changed your mind, have you?"
"no."
coach yaga regarded him stoically. 
"don't bother turning up to try-outs," he'd said after a few seconds of merely nodding. "you're on the team."
you felt megumi stiffen up beside you, so when you looked up at him, gauging out his expression, you were concerned to see that he'd completely frozen, and not even with a half-smile curling at his lips whenever he was secretly happy about something. megumi's face was morphed into an expression of distress, you might even say that it bordered annoyance. 
you couldn't help but question why: he'd been given a free position on the football team without even having to (as a theatre kid would see it) audition for the part. 
unless he was being righteous again, which always managed to irk you to a certain degree. uncle ogi called him foolish because of it, yet his mother had called him an angel. 
"favouritism!" you accused, pointing at him in shock. "masamichi is doing favouritism!"
"if you don't lower your voice, girl —" your former teacher threatened, raising a fist at you, though you knew it was a completely empty threat.
ah, this was the teacher you remembered. 
"...and it's coach yaga to you, for the millionth time." 
"sorry, but i can't accept that," megumi had intervened (though that probably was not the right word for it, seeing as the topic was centred around him to begin with).
both your heads had turned to face him. it was, perhaps, the first time that you and coach yaga could see eye-to-eye on something: you weren't happy with megumi's refusal to the offer. you couldn't understand it. 
megumi was incredibly good at football. in fact, you had so much faith in him, you were certain that even if he did take part in try-outs, he'd get in without question. you had no doubt about it. so why, you thought in your head, ready to voice it if need be, did he have to go on this whole righteous tangent if the offer could save time for both him and coach yaga?
"what the hell do you mean by that?" snapped coach yaga. "you were on my team last year, different school, but my team nonetheless. you've got a talent, i don't need to see it again to decide. you're on the team, that's final."
"you can decide after i turn up to try-outs," said megumi, clearly unmoving on his view. "it's only fair."
"fair?" sputtered coach yaga, as if he hadn't heard of the word in his entire life. you couldn't blame him, simmering in silence as you watched the interaction between them with irritation. "life's not fair, boy! you're on the team. i saw the line-up for the team last year: inumaki's on it, so you'll have a familiar face to work with."
"that doesn't matter," megumi stubbornly continued. "yuji's coming here too."
"well you can tell him he's on the team too, then," said coach yaga, also stubborn. 
megumi glowered at him. "i'm not doing that —"
"then i will!" you added, pulling out your phone from the pocket of your jeans and hurriedly opening up your texts with yuji. 
you could feel two holes being burned into your left cheek where megumi was glaring daggers at you, but you didn't care. you were happy for him and yuji. it was a moment to be proud of. the two were so good at the sport, that coach yaga felt the need to eliminate them from even trying out for the team, insisting that they were that talented. this, if anything, was something to celebrate. you knew that megumi would probably hold a grudge against coach yaga for the rest of his miserable life, but you were also aware of the fact that your grumpy teacher just simply would not care. so long as he has a winning team in his hands, he could not care less. that, you were grateful for.
in the end, like you had expected, megumi gave in (though not without a word; it was routine for him to complain about something) albeit reluctantly. later that day, when you met up with yuji and nobara, your pink haired friend had been as ecstatic as you, only to feel guilty at the look on megumi's face. one righteous grump was enough, how had he influenced yuji to be the same (minus the being-grumpy part)?
as the week continued to roll on — and you began to question when it was that they'd finally hand you your timetables — all four of you had found yourselves sitting around a table at the school, your first official day as a high schooler, excited...
only to deflate the second you examined megumi's sheet, eyes darting left and right, up and down, just to go on repeat.
"megumi!" you gasped, feeling more disappointed than angry.
the only classes that you shared with megumi, out of the nine that you were in, were chemistry, biology, and math. you didn't even share the same homeroom, and aside from the three mentioned, the only time you would be able to see him again would be during study-hall and lunch, all of which were not nearly long enough to compensate for the time lost with each other.
eyes bulging out of their sockets, when you'd darted them to ogle at your dear friend, you thought he seemed to be thinking the same thing. megumi never usually smiled, so it wasn't a shock when his lips pressed themselves into a thin line, but you could differentiate each and every one of his expressions as if they were your own, and megumi (though he'd never admit it) was not pleased with the arrangement of each of your timetables. 
at all.
"this is all your fault," you said, shaking his timetable aggressively. he snatched it out of your hands with a look of irritation. you let him. "what did you have to go and pick business for?"
he glowered at you. "can you imagine me on stage doing performing arts?"
"of course i can!" you snapped, waving a hand dismissively. "i literally edited you on a stage once, don't you remember —"
"you did?" yuji perked up, to megumi's annoyance. "show it to us!"
"yeah, let's see!" added nobara, extending her arm across the table and making a 'hand it over' motion.
"let's not see," megumi interrupted icily, slapping nobara's hand away with enough force, the sound reverberated around the hall; nobara hadn't taken that lightly either, kicking him under the table with an expression of pain and vexation.
you ignored them all, staring down at his timetable, which you'd swiftly swiped off the table again, with confusion. how was it possible that you only shared three classes with him? it seemed that these classes were based off of the end of year exams from middle school, and megumi was at the top of the class for everything, to no one's surprise. but so were you, except for math. last year, the only reason you passed with flying colours was because of megumi, because even though he'd made rude and judgemental comments when tutoring you, he actually happened to be a very good teacher.
the thought did not compute to you. when you'd compared your timetables with yuji and nobara's, you'd been over the moon at the fact that you shared several classes with them, whether it be individually or as a group. it wasn't mentioned enough (mainly because you were quite careless about it) but you had done just as well as megumi in the exams for every other subject, so why were you in only three classes with him?
clearly you'd committed a terrible crime in your past life to be punished with such a sentence. who else will blame megumi for the funny writing on the board the second everyone enters the class? who, other than you, will frame him for the aeroplanes thrown at that one kid you despised for being so cruel for no apparent reason? who, but you, will provoke him enough to start a dictionary fight from two opposite ends of the classroom simply because his angry face was belly-ache-laughter inducing?
from the looks of it, it seemed that you'd have to pass the torch on to yuji. you did always think he would be your replacement... ever since you first met the annoyance.
"this isn't fair," you sighed.
megumi agreed, shaking his head, monotoned and bored. "yeah it's just not fair."
"anyway, megumi might physically abuse me if i show it to you guys right now," you said, changing the subject begrudgingly, only to smile just as soon as a lightbulb flicked on over your head. "but satoru has a ton of pictures of him from our christmas play back in elementary school!"
you did not have to glance at megumi to know that he was scowling (what was new?). yuji beamed at your statement, eyes sparkling with curiosity that was certainly not mild enough to restrain him from demanding that you send every single one of those images to him.
"did you play baby jesus?" he asked loudly, smiling from ear-to-ear as he awaited megumi's response.
"you're intellectually challenged," your dark haired friend snapped, visibly irked at the way you and nobara laughed at the thought of little megumi, ever the grumpy one, playing baby jesus. "how the hell would anyone play a new born?"
"just... wrap them in a towel or something," yuji suggested, though he sounded less passionate now that megumi had set the record straight. if it wasn't yuji, you might have actually felt bad. 
"so what did you play then?" nobara swiftly questioned. "the shepherds?"
"maybe he played the livestock!" yuji perked up excitedly, turning to you for confirmation. he seemd to have effectively recovered from the disheartening moment of being told he wasn't very clever. "he's always loved animals, right?"
megumi let out an exhale of disbelief. "the hell makes you think i wanted to be one?"
"wouldn't put it past you," scoffed nobara. "didn't you try and stay at the zoo when your family went to visit, like, a decade ago?"
surprised at the prospect of megumi's head remaining in tact with his neck due to how fast he'd snapped it round to face you in apparent annoyance, you did not meet his gaze, resting your chin on your hands held up by the table, still examining his timetable that you hadn't returned.
"why'd you tell her?" he questioned, when it became crystal clear that you had no intention of voicing the elephant in the room. 
"it was supposed to be a secret?" you replied, looking up at him with faux innocence. but megumi knew you, and he knew you very well; well enough to tell that you had done this on purpose. if there was one thing you were an expert in, it was trying your absolute best in annoying, shaming, and angering megumi fushiguro. 
and he hated it.
how it worked, mostly, but he hated it all the same.
"uncle ogi said we couldn't tell anyone," he reminded you, firm and very visibly offended. 
you grinned at him. "what, because of the reputation of the zenin family?" you continued before he could answer. "well guess what, porcupine? i'm not a zenin."
"and neither am i," he stated, the frown on his face deepening with each passing second.
"by name, maybe not. you're literally toji's son —"
"i would've found out anyway," nobara intervened confidently. she twirled a piece of her short hair around her finger mindlessly. "you ended up on national television —"
"national television?" yuji repeated, his voice raising several octaves. you expected him to look a bit more impressed, but your pink-haired friend merely pouted at the three of you. "why am i being segregated? what happened on national tv?"
that particular day had been very hectic. a visit to the zoo with the rest of the family (along with suguru and his two girls, mimiko and nanako), was meant to be how any other family would act, admiring the animals and walking in sync with one another... only for it to turn into absolute chaos when little megumi had ended up in the gorilla enclosure and decided that he wanted to live there.
you never let him live that one down.
"megumi became one with the gorillas —"
"did you tell them about your interest in the aquarium?" he cut through your statement coldly.
your eyes widened, gawking at him in something in between disbelief and complete annoyance. if there was one thing megumi knew embarrassed you (and you don't tend to get embarrassed by much) it was the mermaid lie you'd made years ago. 
"i was interested in the sharks," you explained, growing more and more agitated with the way megumi's face became more and more dismissive, as if you were lying. "they were scary but i liked it —"
"makes sense," he interrupted again, "they're a danger to your species."
you could see yuji laughing; the knife lodged itself deep in your heart. you could see nobara holding hers in; you felt the knife twist in its place.
the irritating part of it all was the fact that your dark-haired, cruel friend deserved credit for that one. it was good, and if it hadn't been directed at you, you might have even voiced how impressed you were.
"okay i'll give you that one," you said, turning away with your nose in the air. "it was good, you got me there. but only this time, porcupine."
you hoped and prayed that yuji and nobara would forget this moment: it happened to be the only time your constant teasing came back to bite you right in the ass. you wondered to yourself how many times the four of you could sit like this together, pester megumi because it happened to be something you, yuji and nobara all had in common, a habit you did not believe would ever break for as long as you lived on this great, green earth. from the looks of your timetables, there weren't many classes where the four of you would be in altogether, only a the three that had been previously mentioned: chemistry with ieiri (who you'll now have to refer to as miss shoko), biology with satoru (who you'll now have to refer to as mr gojo) and one of the teachers you'd never met here, math, with mr kento nanami. 
he sounded strict. 
you didn't like strict.
but you also could have sworn that the name sounded familiar. 
you happened to be correct, and you'd found that out in one of your first lessons with mr kento nanami:
he was a tall man, with blonde hair that had been styled in a neat side part. his cheeks were hollow, making the cheekbones on his face seem more prominent and emphasised. he didn't smile, not even during the first lesson, which had mainly been an introduction, and he spoke very formally, like a business man. you had learned that the business attire (the suit, tie, formal pants and pointy shoes) had not been a one-off dress code for him. after attending several of his  lessons, getting to know him better, you'd found that this was an everyday fit for him. 
that tie was a bit weird though, and mr nanami was anything but weird.
so you'd been correct in assuming that his name sounded familiar. he was just a year younger than satoru, suguru and ieiri, a mutual friend (though he did seem adamant that satoru and him were most definitely not friends, no matter how many times the white-haired beanstalk declared that they were). 
mr kento nanami was a funny man, you'd decided. strict, firm, and constantly exasperated, but funny nonetheless. without even trying, that is. you liked his lessons very much. the one thing that you didn't like, however, was the learning part of it — math was not your strong suit. that had been established years ago when you first started learning it, but it only became more emphasised in his classes.
"i can't do it," you declared out loud, using an eraser to erase yet another one of your miscalculations. "this is too hard —"
"you can do it," said kento nanami, who had made you sit right across from his desk because you seemed to need the most help out of everyone in the class. it turned out, this very class had been one of the top sets. it was a miracle you'd been placed there, let alone managed to stay there. though, arguably, you had been moved down several times, only for you to fail even more because apparently, only kento nanami's teachings stuck in your head, even if it was a struggle.
"i can't," you sighed, rubbing your temples, feeling a headache starting to form. whoever created math was going to wish they hadn't. "i'm going to die —"
kento nanami pinched the bridge of his nose: he didn't like it when you became dramatic.
"you're not going to —"
"yes i am." 
"you cannot expect to do even remotely well with that attitude," he said, completely disregarding your dramatic comment. "the last exam you completed —"
you grimaced. "don't remind me! even yuji did better than me... and he never studies!"
"i do study!" the pink-haired idiot lied from somewhere behind you. 
you knew he never studied. in fact, one time, when you spent most of the day at nobara's, her grandmother had forced you to sit and work through multiple equations, meanwhile yuji spent the day teaching football to the neighbours' kids. you knew — you watched him enjoy himself through the window.
"you can't believe him kento, he's lying to you to impress you —"
"i have half a mind to believe him simply out of spite," kento firmly told you, and there was a tick in his jaw. "for the millionth time, y/n, you will refer to me as mr nanami."
there was a habit that you'd adopted, which applied to teachers you really liked, but not limited to teachers you really hated. it was something that had always existed, calling teachers by their first names rather than their last names, if only to show them that they were your friends (or you simply had no respect for them if they were seen as your foe). masamichi, kento, satoru, ieiri, are candidates you liked very much. other teachers... not so much.
"mr kento nanami —"
"mr nanami," he repeated, stoic and stubborn. "as i was saying, the last exam you completed was notably better than the one prior. that shows improvement."
you stared at him, deadpanned. "i was only two points higher."
"any improvement is improvement."
you never considered yourself a pessimist. in fact, you always looked at the brighter side of things when no one else would. but with math, it almost felt like you would become a whole different person, and the last person you wanted to be like was emo, depressed, careless megumi. the thought sent a shiver down your spine.
"this is too hard," you sighed, placing your pencil down on the table with a look of defeat. "just bury me already —"
kento gave you a long and hard look, his expression stern and brows furrowed to the point where a deep line had been formed between them. he looked at you... perhaps not at you, maybe something or someone behind you, as his eyes fell over your shoulder meeting someone else's.
you would soon find out that it had been megumi. 
as if they'd created their own form of communication through the eyes itself, you found yourself sitting by megumi's desk now, his judgemental and critical look only serving to offend you.
"i'm helping you —"
"you literally called me dumb," you scoffed, brow raised in scepticism. 
megumi's eyes grew half-lidded, apparently bored with your accusation. "no i never."
"yes you did," you said firmly. "you said i'm as 'sharp as a marble'." 
the offender simply raised his own brow at you in apparent confusion, as if to say 'and?'. 
"marbles aren't sharp!" you snapped angrily, taking everyone around you by surprise at the sudden volume of your voice.
megumi ran a hand through his hair, dragged it down his face, and let out a small groan, muffled so as to not distract the rest of the class any further. he did not seem impressed, but you didn't care. the audacity he had to call you dumb when his teaching was clearly not working spoke volumes for you. 
you leaned back in your chair, arms folded over your chest, reluctantly sliding your completed work across from you and over to him. 
"mark my work," you demanded, with every intent to make it sound as bossy as you could.
he glared at you, but did not oppose, picking his pen up and going through the questions with you with a look of deep concentration. at times, he would scratch the back of his neck, rub his brow, grasp his chin, shake his head, and you had no idea what any of those actions meant (probably that you got every question wrong, again). 
only for you to be completely stumped when he looked up and met your eyes once more, no longer sporting the look of exhaustion, but one of pride. 
at least, you thought it was pride. all of megumi's expressions tended to be the same: his mouth a straight line, his eyes half-lidded, his brows unmoving, etc. though with time, you had managed to dissect each and every one and figure out whether he was happy, or sad, or angry, and so on. right now, you thought he looked impressed. you knew for sure that he didn't seem annoyed with you — that was usually his default, too!
cautiously and gradually, you leaned over and pulled the sheet towards yourself, eyes darting up and down before finding the final mark:
7/10 - good.
beaming, you met his eyes with a toothy smile, brows raised in pleasant shock.
"i'm so smart!" you declared, confidently and immensely proud.
he let out a long exhale through his nose. "why did you have to go and ruin it?"
you ignored him, snatching the paper and rushing over to kento's desk, taking enough care to slide in between the discarded chairs and tables people are sitting at, and swiping yuji's pencil case off the table just for the fun of it. at his wail of despair, you merely responded with a quiet 'oops' knowing quite well that your actions had been very much intentional. 
you did nearly slip on one of the stray pencils that had rolled out of his discarded pencil case, to your doom, but politely flipped yuji off when he laughed 'karma'. 
by the desk, on kento's chair, sat a baffled nobara, her eyes drooping and her soft, short hair dishevelled through, no doubt, constantly running her hands through it in obvious exhaustion. like you, math was not her strong spot. also like you, she looked ready to absolutely throttle whoever decided to add letters to numbers and make it part of the compulsory curriculum. 
kento himself stood opposite her, bent forward and holding himself up with his hands on the desk, pointing at the numerous equations on her own paper, and giving her extra guidance and clarification on them.
"do you understand it now?" your teacher asked her, looking down, sombre yet patient.
her hands were hidden somewhere beneath her hair, holding her head up as she stared grimly down at her own messy work, slowly nodding.
"yeah... but i'm going to torture, and murder, and torture —"
"— the guy that created math," kento finished off, looking slightly tense as he stood up to his full height, straightening himself seriously, "i've heard it, nobara." he looked over his shoulder and noticed you standing excitedly behind him. "what's wrong, y/n —"
"i get it now!" you informed him honestly, though you could tell the enthusiasm in your voice simply encouraged kento to feel more suspicion than anything else. "i got everything right!"
the small gasp of envy from nobara did not go unnoticed by you; kento tilted his chin downwards to take a better look at your paper, held up proudly by yourself. his narrowed eyes darted left and right, examining each question, each neat tick megumi had left behind, and finally reached the bottom of the page where your impressive score had been written in a bold red. 
kento nodded at you. 
"seven out of ten," he quoted, almost like a machine. "that's more than fifty percent."
"please, ken— i mean mr nanami —" you added when you'd caught sight of the pursing of his lips, "no more numbers. i've retired from being the genius i was just two minutes ago. i got everything right!"
"seven out of ten," kento repeated, voice gruff. "definitely an achievement, but not one hundred perce—"
"i'm still a genius," you interrupted, apparently choosing to select which parts of his statement you truly wanted to hear. "megumi said so —"
"no i never," your traitor of a friend had intervened from somewhere behind you. 
you regarded him, boot-faced and unimpressed. he was sitting next to yuji now, finishing off his own work. but apparently, your little white lie was enough to break him out of this cycle of work, work, and more work. 
"stop lying," he gracefully added.
you felt your eye twitch in indignation, turning around to face kento and plastering on a smile to mask your obvious discontent.
"he's the one lying," you whispered, though that did not stop kento from believing him over you. it became a habit over time, you'd noticed. you were still trying to figure out a way to break it.
"be more humble," grumbled nobara, still slouching on kento's chair with a permanent scowl painted over her face. "some of us are being beaten black and blue with all of this."
"i can teach you!" you offered, relishing in the smile that nobara's face had formed, extending to her eyes where the spark that usually lay there had been re-lighted. 
giddy, you skipped around kento and his desk to reach nobara on the other side, ignoring his weak protests about how he wasn't sure that you were absolutely confident in your skills at the particular topic. you and nobara were in your own world, sitting on the thin arm of his spinning chair, one half of your body slumped against her side and the other hovering above her as you guided her on the questions.
it was later found that kento had been correct. helping nobara only served to take away the knowledge that your teacher had already tirelessly given her. you walked away in shame after that, completely unaware of the fact that half of the method you'd used to solve the equations out were actually correct...
and not just over fifty percent, but one hundred percent. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
due to a series of upcoming exams, you and the rest of your little group had spent majority of your break times at study hall, looking over a bunch of your notes from social studies, to performing arts, to biology, chemistry, physics. however, the only one you had to truly focus on was math.
you slumped over your textbook, your expression a mix of frustration and defeat as you stared at the seemingly indecipherable equations before you. to you, math was a labyrinth of confusion, a tangled web of numbers and symbols that ensnared your mind with its complexity. each problem felt like a battle, with your thoughts colliding like opposing armies on a chaotic battlefield. the numbers mocked you, dancing tauntingly on the page as if daring you to unravel their secrets. it was as if you were trying to navigate through a dense fog, each step forwards only leading to a hundred steps backwards. math, to you, was a relentless adversary, an insurmountable mountain that you could never hope to conquer. 
your gaze flickered over to yuji, who seemed to effortlessly breeze through the math problems with a nonchalant ease that left you envious. he was like a graceful dancer, effortlessly gliding across the stage of equations while you stumbled clumsily in the wings. each correct answer he produced felt like a dagger to your pride, a reminder of your own inadequacy in the face of his natural talent. it was as if he had been born with a mathematical compass embedded in his mind, guiding him effortlessly through the labyrinth of numbers and formulas. you couldn't help but feel like a mere spectator in the shadow of his brilliance, your own struggles magnified in comparison to his effortless mastery.
what pissed you off more was the fact that this was yuji. 
yuji.
he barely studied (no matter what lies he fed to kento, your sensible math teacher). you could pass him a math paper without a warning and he would bring it back to you without a single strand of grey in the field of pink on his head. 
so, naturally, whilst megumi tutored an ever-growing depressed nobara, you asked yuji to help you...
you wished you hadn't made fun of megumi's hair that morning, that way, mustering up your courage to ask him for help instead probably would have been easier.
"so first," yuji began slowly, carefully writing out the numbers over your blank sheet. and then it was as if your life went by in two times speed. "you do that, and then that, and then that."
you took a careful glance at megumi's watch. your life hadn't zoomed by that fast: yuji was just a terrible tutor.
he dropped the pencil in front of you, letting it roll right next to where your hand lay, sitting back on his seat with a happy smile on his face, as if he'd actually accomplished something.
you felt your eye twitch.
"how about i show you how i do this, and then this, and then this!" you said, each emphasised word paired with a harsh smack on yuji's head with a rolled up booklet you snatched off the table. you did not know who it belonged to, probably megumi, but you did not care.
"okay okay okay! — ow! — okay, woman!"
"is that my business booklet?" megumi icily interrupted, eyes narrowed, following each and every movement of your hand that waved it around.
you shot him a glance, mild fury smouldering in your eyes.
"no..."
megumi fixed his gaze on you, his face a mask of calm that barely hinted at the storm brewing in his head. his eyes were like twin daggers, piercing through your facade with chilling precision. a muscle in his jaw twitched slightly, the only betrayal of his controlled exterior. 
"it has my name in bold," he informed you, bored.
"okay..." you said, peering down at the booklet in your hands with a masked expression. "you can have it back if you teach me how to do algebra?"
megumi's mouth set itself in a firm line, conveying a silent but unmistakable challenge. though his expression remained stoic, the intensity of his gaze was like a glacier, cold and unyielding, and also a bit tired, as though he'd expected nothing less from you. with a grin, you knew what it meant: you won.
before you could carry out your plan to throw yuji off his seat and reach megumi and nobara, an external voice jolted you out of your intense focus.
the four of you looked up, distracted: it was noritoshi kamo accompanied by chad montgomery, both of whom were part of the school's official football team alongside yuji and megumi. noritoshi (who preferred to simply go by kamo) had dark, straight hair that stopped a little further down his chin whereas chad was rather big, tall, and blonde, with a friendly face to match. it was a running joke that chad was very unlike the typical chads you'd see on tv. he was kinder, friendlier, yet still rather well-known.
"nice catch at gym today, y/n," kamo had said, barely smiling. you thought he had some sort of face freeze like megumi.
"thank you!" you beamed, turning to your friends as the two boys casually walked off. "see? people do appreciate the effort i put in at sports."
"you and nobara weren't meant to be in our class to begin with," said megumi, sliding a worksheet in your direction. you accepted it gratefully, though your attention was hardly on the paper.
"touche," nobara muttered into her own hand, her other scribbling over the doodles she'd drawn around her paper. "our class is boring."
"huh? i thought you liked coach lauren?" said yuji, visibly surprised.
you tapped the back of your pen on your worksheet impatiently. 
"we do! but it's not as fun when she doesn't care about us not participating," you told him thoughtfully. "but when it's coach yaga —"
megumi scowled. "he lost his voice because of the two of you."
you mirrored his scowl. "hey, we didn't tell him to yell and chase us across the field, did we?" 
"and he wouldn't have even noticed us if you hadn't ratted us out, snitch," nobara helpfully added, levelling an accusatory look at megumi while pointing the end of her pen at him.
megumi regarded you and nobara with a blank, almost bored expression. his mouth remained a straight line, devoid of any hint of emotion, as if he were staring at an unremarkable, distant horizon. the only movement was the slow blink of his eyelids, which seemed to convey a sense of enduring your antics with the patience of a stone statue.
"you guys were standing at the back and laughing at everyone," he stated.
"wrong," you hummed. "we were laughing at you."
yuji's laughter erupted, nearly causing him to topple from his chair as he doubled over, resting against the table. his whole body shook with mirth, his laughter filling the room with its infectious energy. 
nobara sliced through it with unbridled ease.
"we were laughing at you too, you clown," she said, narrowing her eyes at him. "you and that todo guy being in your own little word —"
"it's not my fault!" said yuji, defensive. "he keeps following me, even when i go to megumi! he keeps saying we're brothers — i don't even know him!"
"i can't imagine you with a brother anyway," you said, barely registering yuji's alarm and stress, but it had completely disappeared at your comment, now masked over with an expression of pure confusion.
"but i do have a brother," he'd said, resulting in all three of you to look up at him with raised brows, parted mouths and narrowed eyes.
"huh?" nobara voiced, aggressive. "what do you mean? you never told us you —"
"i did!" he interrupted, eyes darting from megumi to you to nobara and then back again. "my half brother!"
"half brother?" you repeated, outraged. 
you spent the next few seconds thinking deep and hard as nobara verbally assaulted him for causing the three of you such distress with such a lie, racking your brain for a time where yuji had voiced to you that he had a half brother, something that you'd been blissfully unaware of for the last four years you had known him. 
"what's his name?" megumi asked, intervening loudly so that yuji would hear him over nobara's attacks.
"choso," said yuji, as though it were the most obvious and easiest thing to remember. "i told you guys!"
"so every time we watched movies at your place, how come it was only ever gramps and your parents?" you asked, notably surprised. 
on the days you'd sleep over at yuji's, you'd see mr and mrs itadori, both of whom insisted you'd call them kaori and jin, as their day shifts at their respective work places would end. never once did you see another being, another male by the name choso.
"he's much older than us, so he's already got his own place to live in," yuji explained, which, as much as you hated to admit it, made sense.
the initial shock of finding out that yuji had a half brother by the name choso had worn out after the next few minutes had been spent looking at different pictures of him and his odd family. they looked nothing alike, with choso sporting dark hair styled in odd pigtails and a more mature face and yuji having pink hair (you still insisted that it wasn't natural) and a more friendly, soft face. they didn't even have the same eye colour or remotely similar features.
somehow, the conversation had spun back to yuji's alleged brother, todo:
"maki told me that when he gets to senior year, he's planning on doing it twice," said nobara, glancing between a panicked-yuji and an exasperated-megumi for confirmation.
you nodded in agreement. "yeah, toge said the same thing."
nobara grinned at yuji. "looks like you'll be dealing with him for as long as we stay here."
yuji looked like he could be physically ill.
the rest of the day had gone by with yuji making multiple attempts to persuade the three of you that him and todo were most definitely not related by any means, and he only grew more and more panicked and alarmed when nobara would make sly comments about how todo would replace megumi as yuji's best friend and run off into the distance together, to which megumi pretended not to care (but you practically spoke in megumi-facial-expressions, and could tell that he very much did).
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
satoru's classroom was significantly larger than any of the other classes in the school. you noticed this the second you'd entered it back in september. he said it was because of the fact that he's a science teacher and therefore needs a larger room for laboratory experiments and so on, but you knew it was a lie. why did ieiri, who was also a science teacher, have a classroom slightly smaller than his? 
you ran the thought in your head multiple times, before ultimately deciding that he had probably thrown a fit over it and bribed his way up that ladder. it helped that he was also filthy rich, not that anyone else needed to know that.
there were three lab tables in his room, his desk on the left of the whiteboard and projector, and the door on the right. windows surrounded two of the four walls in the room, brightening it up so much so that on the days that you were plagued with headaches, satoru's classes became dreadful (which was saying a lot, seeing as you and several others thoroughly enjoyed his lessons).
you, megumi, yuji and nobara sat on the table in the far left, closest to satoru's desk. there wasn't necessarily a seating plan, but the one time you and nobara sat on the table furthest from his desk, he did act pretty prissy about it the entire day. 
"reproduction!" he said, a little too enthusiastically though knowing him, he most likely meant to. adjusting the circular glasses on his nose, he gestured to the board where a presentation of said-topic demanded each and every viewer's attention. no other topic within the subject of biology ever had this many balloon stickers or confetti gifs. "my favourite topic!"
"fuck's sake," you heard megumi mutter under his breath from across yuji, who was sitting nervously on your right.
the other boys in your class, sitting around the table in the middle and the table on the far right seemed to be getting a little too excited, in your humble opinion: sitting up straighter with ugly grins forming on their ugly faces, looking around and making cheeky eye contact with one another. 
"i know a lot about that," you heard tyler jenson announce, his too-happy face only serving to irk you in ways even megumi could not. but whilst you sat there with a sour expression forming second by second, nobara (seated next to megumi) turned around and voiced your thoughts.
"and yet you've never been touched by a woman."
the classroom was then filled with muffled laughter as many hid the lower halves of their faces behind their hands, giggling and chuckling as tyler's face became more compatible to the colour of a cherry rather than the colour of the skin on his hands and arms. nobara turned back around with her lips in a straight, thin line, shaking her head due to some of the hair that had fallen over her eyes. 
"mr gojo," one of tyler's minion-friends spoke up, very clearly offended. it became quite clear that tyler would not speak for himself from here on out. "aren't you going to — like — say something about that..?"
satoru raised a brow, the smile he usually adorned with pearly-white teeth non-existent, almost as if it were never there. 
"no," he said, hands resting in the pockets of his pants, "because she just demolished you."
he went back to teaching as though nothing had happened. 
the rest of the lesson had gone by quite well. few of tyler's minion friends had gotten the message and remained silent for the remainder of the hour, chalking it up to 'favouritism', though everyone knew otherwise. as many odd jokes that satoru had made, he did eventually teach the curriculum, even when the comments from tyler's other foolish friends had irked everyone by opening their mouths:
"okay," nodded satoru, visibly tense as he stood up and slammed his entire hand against the whiteboard so suddenly, with such aggression, the projector wobbled. "listen here! reproduction? sex? it's bad. who can tell me why?"
you looked around. everyone seemed just as startled as you. as fun as satoru's classes were, when he pulled random shit like this, you were more inclined to feel scared than enraptured. but it wasn't a class lead by satoru gojo unless satoru gojo became melodramatic at some point during it. 
"no one?" he continued, head turning left and right. "megumi?"
"leave me alone."
satoru promptly turned to your other friend instead. "yuji!"
"er... because... it distracts you from school work?" yuji guessed, scratching the back of his ear, a random habit you realised he'd picked up over the last few months. 
satoru nodded slowly. 
"warmer..." he'd said; yuji beamed. "nobara!"
"because men don't perform —"
"no, but i should've seen that comin'," your teacher interrupted mindlessly, the smile unwavering as he turned his gaze to you. although, it was hard to tell for certain, for the silly sunglasses he wore indoors concealed his eyes. "y/n!"
"it's a sin —"
"why on earth did i ask you to begin with?" he said, turning away and shaking his head. "okay, note this down, all of you. you can die if you have sex, yeah?"
clement roy, who was seated by the middle table (also one of the smartest in the class) spoke up with a frown:
"no you can't. having intercourse isn't dangerous."
satoru did not seem impressed. he stared at clement roy with the expression a child would give to their parent over rejection of candy before dinner. 
"all right smarty-pants, want to explain to the class what'll happen when you get chlamydia?" hedemanded, visibly nettled. before clement could even think of a response, the drama queen had already pressed on. "you'll die. you'll suffer in silence because you won't want to communicate to another responsible human being about how you were being irresponsible and then die because chlamydia got you."
you could drop a pin on the floor and the sound would echo around the room and bounce off of the walls with how eerily quiet it had gotten. had it not been broad daylight, you were certain the croaking of crickets would be the only thing perceived in this awkward silence. 
"don't just stare at me, write it down!"
barely fifteen minutes later, satoru had gone back to behaving more positively playful than negatively dramatic. 
at some point in the lesson, he'd handed out worksheets for everyone to go through and complete, filled with a series of questions based on what he managed to teach for the last thirty to forty minutes. the questions hadn't been too hard; you whizzed through them in no time. to check your answers, you stretched your body over the table and snatched megumi's paper without warning, sitting back down comfortably and ignoring his demands of handing it back.
"give it," he'd said, but the look on his face was too funny to pass up. 
megumi's default expression was always that bored, grumpy look. his angry expression, however, was much more emphasised: his nose had a way of scrunching itself up the tiniest bit, his jaw became tighter, and when his brows closed in on each other, he looked as though he'd aged ten times faster. this expression was harder to catch on camera because he always managed to swipe your phone out of your hands whenever you'd reach for it, like his sixth sense was knowing just when you'd go for the kill, the oddbot. that was why it mattered a million times more when he'd look more angry than he did bored or careless.
"i have to mark my work," you told him, placing it side-by-side with your own.
"ha! thanks, megumi!" added yuji, adding his worksheet (with scribbles, writing, and more scribbles on it) next to yours and megumi's. 
"you're not welcome. give it back, y/n —"
"hand it to me when you're done. think i got the last few wrong," said nobara, and without looking up, you raised your thumb, giving her your affirmative. 
megumi growled. "no —"
"what're you gonna do, huh?" said nobara, poking him on the shoulder with the end of her pen. "tell mr gojo?"
"what is this, mean girls?" megumi grumbled, deadpanned. "oi, regina, give me back my sheet —"
you shook your head. yuji came to your defence:
"we're not done —"
"shut up karen."
he gasped. you probably would have laughed if you weren't so occupied with scribbling out the few answers that you'd gotten wrong (based off of megumi's own work, which tended to be correct nine times out of ten). 
before you could blink, megumi's work had been swiped away from you, but not by the owner himself (you were silently surprised that he hadn't marched around the table to snag it from you by now) but by an audibly annoyed yuji, who was mumbling curses under his breath as he sketched something in the top left corner of the paper. 
vexed, exasperated, and disturbed, you pinched yuji's thigh before snatching the paper back, brows furrowed and eyes narrowed. your hardened expression became less tight at the sight of the literal penis that yuji had drawn. two seconds had barely passed before you found yourself gasping for breath, hand over your mouth at a futile attempt at muffling your own laughter. 
nobara perked up, interested and offended.
"hey, don't leave me out," she snapped, back straight and chin held high. "what's so funny?"
with the deliberate intention of ensuring that the sulky boy seated diagonally across from you had also seen his own paper, you lifted it and showed it to her. 
"what the hell?" he demanded, making a move at swiping it out of your hands, but you were quicker, sliding it across the table to nobara instead. 
megumi's face twisted in irritation as his dark eyes landed on the defaced worksheet. a faint flush spread across his pale cheeks, a rare sign of his mounting frustration. his jaw clenched, muscles tensing visibly under his skin as he took a slow, deep breath, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly, betraying the effort it took to suppress a scathing retort. he glared at yuji, his gaze as cold and hard as steel, before flicking back to the offending drawing. with a huff of exasperation, he snatched the paper back, his movements quick and brusque, clearly indicating his annoyance. for a moment, he sat still, radiating a palpable aura of vexation, before muttering under his breath and looking up at you all, clearly done with your antics.
nobara whistled lowly, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. "damn, who pissed in your cereal, megumi?"
"why would you do that?" megumi demanded, his voice edged with irritation as he fixed Yuji with a piercing glare, completely ignoring nobara's teasing remark.
yuji, with his arms folded over his chest with a look akin to a child after throwing a tantrum, returned megumi's glare with one of his own. 
"revenge," he stated simply, his tone carrying a quiet but unmistakable resolve. 
before anyone could chime in with their own thoughts, satoru materialised from behind megumi, sporting his trademark easy grin, which only widened at megumi's apparent annoyance.
"who rained on megumi's parade?" he'd asked, sounding curious yet looking devious. it wasn't a surprise to anyone that satoru enjoyed anything that made megumi unhappy (in terms of teasing, of course).
"yuji doodled a bit on his paper," you said, rolling your eyes. "now he's throwing a fit over it."
megumi shot you a sharp glare, his expression a mix of annoyance and disbelief. his eyes narrowed slightly, silently questioning your choice of words, but refrained from saying anything, opting instead to let his disapproval speak for itself.
until he couldn't.
"stop being such a grump, megumi," satoru chortled, his teasing only exacerbating the tension brewing within megumi fushiguro. "it just makes you look more like your dad, and who the hell wants to look like toji —"
"he drew a dick on my paper," megumi interjected sharply, his frustration evident in his tone, like a rope pulled taut in a tug-of-war.
satoru's laughter bubbles up, a blend of genuine surprise and amusement twinkling in his eyes. he chuckles softly, a grin playing on his lips as he shakes his head, clearly taken aback by megumi's straightforwardness and yuji's unexpected actions.
"big deal," he said, forcing himself in between nobara and megumi. "let's see de vinci's art —"
"ugh, you're squashing us!" nobara snapped, but satoru had paid no mind to her. in fact, her comment had only seemed to have encouraged him to force himself between them further, all with a knowing smile on his face.
satoru's laughter burst forth as he caught sight of the drawing, genuine amusement evident in the small crinkles that formed around his eyes. his grin widened, his shoulders shaking slightly with suppressed mirth as he took in the absurdity of the situation. his constant laughter eventually caused him to double over, and he instinctively reached out, grabbing onto nobara's shoulder for support. his fingers gripped onto her firmly, but not aggressively, just enough to steady himself as he tried to regain his composure. 
nobara's irritation became palpable at satoru's hand that had landed on her shoulder for support. she shot him a pointed look, her body stiffening slightly as she made subtle attempts to wriggle out of his grasp.
"as wonderful as this is," he sighed, wiping an imaginary tear from his shielded eye, "i have to get rid of it."
it was, perhaps, the first time in that lesson that megumi had looked up in approval.
yuji shrugged, his tone matter-of-fact. 
"i don't care, i did it to prove a point," he stated, his brows furrowing in mild annoyance.
"what point?" said nobara, apparently having given up on trying to pry satoru's hand off her shoulder. even so, she didn't look too pleased about it. 
yuji shrugged, his expression easing as the tension left his jaw and his furrowed brows smoothed out. eyes widened, and his brows lifted slightly, yuji's lips parted, and his forehead smoothed itself out. the overall expression on his face was one of genuine puzzlement. 
"i... can't really remember to be honest —"
"erase it," megumi commanded, his voice tight with irritation.
"no," yuji shot back, defensive. "maybe you should learn to be more nice to me —"
"after this?" said megumi, voice sharp and cutting, brimming with barely restrained fury. "like hell."
"there's too much testosterone on this table," said nobara, eyeing your other male classmates that sat down a little further down from the four of you. "y/n and i should've sat near the door —"
"oh yeah?" began satoru, bending down slightly to level his face with hers. he did not look too pleased. "and how well did that work for you last time, huh?"
but before she could actually answer his question, he had already moved on, looking around at you, yuji and megumi, and pointing at the cursed sketch on the paper.
"i don't want to do this," he said, leaning over to grab it and slide it towards the end of the table where he stood with an eraser in his hand. 
he pressed it against the drawing, letting out false sobs of despair with each swipe, loud enough to draw the attention of the rest of the class. it was ugly, drawn-out, and extremely sonorous. you regarded him with a look of disgust; megumi slouched in his seat, as though that would conceal him from the onlookers; nobara pressed a hand to her forehead, head bent and gaze averted; yuji watched satoru without shame, apparently still his biggest cheerleader.
"okay you can stop now," you added, when it became crystal clear that satoru would go on and on just for the sake of someone finally addressing his shameless acting. you would rather die than have it continue. 
he grinned, radiating self-assured pride as he addressed your little group.
"now i wish i took a picture before i got rid of it," he sighed, placing the paper in front of its rightful owner. 
from where you were sat, you could still see the outline of the sketch, faded yet visible. it seemed that yuji had released his anger from his hand straight to the pencil, applying enough pressure to leave a mark even when erased. if that didn't teach megumi to be more polite, you didn't know what would. 
a deep voice suddenly interrupted the commotion, cutting through the conversation like a knife. the speaker's tone was unnervingly calm and composed, each word enunciated with precision and the use of complete formal english added an air of false-authority and distance, sounding almost archaic due to the lack of contractions. 
all five of you turned your heads to stare at the figure hiding beneath the table surrounding the outer-edge of the classroom where multiple sinks were built in: malakai the emo, who you had first met in middle school. he just so happened to attend the same high school too. even so, the only classes that the two of you shared were satoru's biology and physics ones.
"there is a disturbance occurring on that table near the desk belonging to the teacher," he began, voice slow, almost snarling. "and i do not like it very much..."
satoru frowned, watching him with obvious exasperation. if there was one being that threw even satoru gojo, the drama queen off, it was malakai the emo (who, if anyone had forgotten, preferred to be called 'kai' and will visibly glitch if referred to as 'malakai').
"disturbances should never occur inside classrooms..."
you scoffed. "coming from the biggest attention-whore of today's history."
satoru waved a hand in your direction, a silent dismissal, one that very clearly communicated that he would handle the issue. 
"and this is my class," he told the emo, raising a white brow. 
"mr gojo..." malakai began, still borderline snarling, "you do not know how to manage this class very well..."
you couldn't exactly tell due to his opaque glasses, but judging from the way his brows shot up dramatically, nearly disappearing beneath his white hair, you knew that satoru's eyes widened in exaggerated shock. his mouth dropped open in a perfect 'O' of disbelief. he gasped audibly, the sound loud and theatrical. his usually playful demeanour transformed into one of theatrical indignation, his entire face a portrait of mock outrage. his head tilted back slightly, as if to better display his expression to everyone present.
"you don't even know how to stand without glitching, kid," he teased, with every intent of offending malakai. "ah-ah, not another word outta ya," he added, pointer finger raised with a smile. "i'd send you to miss shoko —"
you did not need to take a look at malakai to know that he was smiling hopefully. if there was one teacher he loved, it was ieiri, for her classroom was shielded from the light outside, and she did not have a care in the world for whatever he did.
"— but she said she'll beat my ass if i do that again. so, i'll make sure you sit on the table, kai, not under it."
context: malakai had this thing where he detested sitting in the light, hated classrooms where the blinds weren't down, and loathed anyone who wore bright colours. according to him, the 'darkness will consume him'. on the first day of high school, he'd sat underneath the sink where it was dark, tight, and cramped. when satoru made an attempt to get him to sit on the table (like everybody else) he visibly shook and caused a scene, turning animalistic over nothing.
satoru had never made another attempt since.
at some point in the year, it had come to your attention that the teachers in his other classes had forced him to sit on the tables, but not without a negotiation: he would sit on a table on his own, so long as he was at the very back of the classroom, in a secluded corner, where no visible sunlight would reach him. even then, he would glitch and tweak, but he would sit there quietly nonetheless. 
there was a time where kento had to teach one of his math classes due to his regular teacher falling ill, and when you'd asked malakai about it, he'd described it as 'hell'. you could only assume that kento hadn't let him sit under a table, nor made an effort in following any negotiations. 
but, surprisingly enough, malakai's grades in satoru's classes were the highest out of the rest of his classes. perhaps sitting under a table like he wants actually has its benefits. 
malakai let out a loud hiss at satoru's words, as if they'd burned him to the point of no recovery. 
satoru had given up.
"okay i'll risk the ass kicking, go to miss shoko."
malakai crawled out from his spot beneath the sink and sprang up, a maniacal grin plastered on his face. his arms flailed wildly, as if he had downed ten bottles of alcohol in one sitting. malakai's eyes widened, the gleam of anticipation shining through the heavy kohl lining his eyes. a wide, ecstatic grin stretched across his face, revealing a flash of his sharp canines (apparently he loved to use charcoal toothpaste). he practically bounced on his feet, his whole body vibrating with eager energy as he ran across the classroom in that weird way that he runs — body bent forward and arms extended backwards (satoru once said that he should be part of the ninjas in naruto — you couldn't get the image out of your head now).
"yes — miss shoko — and her dark, dark under-eyes —"
the rest of you watched him ninja-run out of the classroom and down the hall, his footsteps echoing and fading. 
satoru adjusted the glasses on his nose with an air of quiet concern. "there is something seriously wrong with that kid."
barely five minutes had gone by before his phone vibrated in his pocket; he took it out, checked it, and then smiled up at you all.
"if i don't turn up tomorrow, it was ieiri shoko: thirty one years old, brown hair, brown eyes, about this short —"
he did show up the next day, but with a cut on his lower lip and quite the story to tell. 
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
as several other paying customers walked into the quaint cafe, the bell above the door chimed softly, announcing their arrival. the interior was a charming blend of rustic and modern elements, creating an inviting atmosphere for its patrons. the space was not overly large, you'd noticed since your introduction to the place, but it was very clearly thoughtfully designed to maximize comfort, with several circular tables made of beige wood on each side of the room, all of which were adorned with fresh flowers in small vases. your favourite part, however, was the soft ambient lighting from the hanging pendant lamps that created a warm glow, casting a muted illumination all over the space.
the walls were also furnished with framed artwork and vintage posters, which you thought added some character and charm to the place. where you and megumi sat on the stools by the counter, a large chalkboard stood behind it displayed the day's menu offerings, written in elegant script with colourful chalk illustrations of pastries and beverages. the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods wafted through the air, tempting your senses and inviting customers to indulge in the cafe's delectable offerings. 
you and megumi tended to avoid the place during peak time, but if you just so happened to be passing by, sometimes you'd force your way to the front to offer some help to the distressed, kind lady (also known as miss B) serving everyone. since it also happened to be local, you had become regular customers and people she looked forward to seeing during the day. 
with kento's gruelling homework laid out messily over the counter before you, the gentle chatter and soft music filled the air, further distracting you from the cruel equations on the papers waiting to be solved. 
while you and megumi had come here to study together, you only did so for, perhaps, twenty minutes before the laptop you'd stolen from the bakery woman working diligently behind the counter had been used for activities other than studying math. it wasn't a new occurrence: it was a daily routine to search up the reviews on the cafe (buttercup brew) and respond to any that were badmouthing miss B, the food, or the place itself since the two of you both acknowledged the fact that she was too lenient and nice to do so herself.
"'what's the opposite of delicious?'" you read out, leaning in to megumi's side to read off of the laptop that he had pulled towards himself.
megumi scoffed, his pale fingers typing away aggressively at the keyboard before him. 
what's the opposite of clever? he had silently written.
your eyes widened in both surprise and delight, a bright, melodious laugh escaping your lips, eyes crinkling at the corners, sparkling with amusement. your laughter eventually subsided into soft giggles, and you looked at megumi with a twinkle in your eye.
"impressive," you praised, glancing back at the laptop, intrigued. "any more?"
megumi nodded, a carefully manicured finger gently swiping down the touchpad.
"'came in the day they were trialling savoury dishes. the food was bland. this is a bakery, stick to sweets,'" he'd read out, monotoned. "by a woman, this time."
your cheerful demeanour fades slightly as megumi read out the negative comment, brows furrowed as a small frown tugged at the corners of your lips. you pulled the laptop towards yourself, eyes narrowed in mild irritation.
"i got this one," you told him, reading as you typed. "you'd... know... all... about... bland... wouldn't you... no-season-susan?"
you hit 'enter' and smiled, self-satisfied. 
but before you or megumi could voice your thoughts on your comment, the soft sound of the bell chiming behind you had the two of you turning in your stools to examine the stoic man walking into the cafe. you pinched megumi's thigh, hard enough for him to angrily slap your hand away with a low grunt. you didn't mind, smiling as you watched the aloof man with the undercut walk up to the other side of the counter and order his food.
"i want to do this one," you said, voice low so as to not attract the attention of the man. "he dressed up as levi and went to the military, asking to join the scout regiment."
megumi peered down at you, blank faced. "where the hell are you going with this?"
"he got sent home."
you watched his face carefully, noting how his eyes shifted away from yours, as if he were suppressing his emotions. you could tell he wanted to laugh; it was evident in the subtle curl of his lips and the slight tremor of his shoulders as he exhaled through his nose.
"that's not levi," he finally settled on saying, glancing at the man in question. "that's ivel."
you grinned. "close enough... i was thinking more along the lines of evil."
your usually stoic friend let out a rare chuckle. with a broad smile, you nudged his side, eager to show him that you had the unique ability to make even him laugh.
"look," you called out to miss B, preparing what looked to be black coffee for mr evil-not-levi, the strong aroma of the coffee beans wafting in the air. "porcupine's smiling! quick, take a picture!"
miss B chuckled, her brows raising so that her soft bangs fell over her closed eyes as she stirred the mixture in the cup. megumi, on the other hand, scowled, any trace of what once held a small smile eradicated.
"too late," he'd said, moving the laptop so it was in front of him instead, and holding the bottom arrow to scroll further down the website with critical eyes.
"you should just take it secretly from now on," you told miss B, watching as she handed the fake-levi his coffee and politely told him to take a seat. she now stood opposite you, smiling as she adjusted the red baker's hat resting on her head. "megumi smiling is a super rare occurrence."
"why would you say that in front of me?" said megumi, looking up and facing you with an expression of mild irritation. "defeats the purpose of secrecy."
"what are you gonna do, attack us?" you challenged, rolling your eyes. "i'll tell my dad never to bring you any of those weird artifacts that you like."
"stop lying."
"okay so maybe i wouldn't do that... but i could change my mind! so you're treading on thin ice, porcupine! i'd be really careful if i were you."
megumi's eyes grew half-lidded, his expression teetering between a scowl and a look of complete disinterest as he stared down at you.
"i'm so scared right now," he stated, the obvious sarcasm making miss B giggle at the interaction. 
you had a witty response resting at the tip of your tongue, but could not execute it in time before the bell by the door had chimed again. all three of you had turned your heads so as to check who had entered. you beamed in excitement, watching as a rather beefy man waddled up to the counter to place his order.
before he had reached it, however, you glanced at miss B, lip curled in interest.
"why don't you have a go?" you asked her, sounding slightly pleading. "i promise you, it'll be fun!"
"because no matter what you say, they're paying my wages," she said calmly, though not unkindly as she prepared to walk over to the other end of the counter to take the man's order. "and it's mean!"
you pouted, looking over at megumi with slightly puckered lips and a frown.
he got the message and (as always) feigned reluctance before turning to scrutinise the stranger. you sat up straighter, a rush of excitement coursing through your veins as you awaited his theory, the disappointment that you had been feeling for all of two seconds evaporating as if it had never been there to begin with.
"he definitely had a wife and three kids with him years ago," he began leisurely, as if to build some suspense to this unconfirmed story, "but someone called cps on him because they would resemble skeletons and he'd resemble the do-the-roar-kid , but if he was older."
"he ate all their food?" you gasped, surprised at the dark turn of events. 
"and their plates too."
"oh!" you nodded, focused. "so like your dad?"
the corners of his mouth turned downwards, and his eyes narrowed, darkening with annoyance.
"i'm not having this conversation with you," he stated matter-of-factly.
you smiled sheepishly. "yeah, don't tell him i said that."
"won't make any promises."
"well then i'll tell satoru that you and hana reunited at the hilltop downtown —"
"he knows you like lying."
"doesn't mean he won't tease you for it regardless."
"..."
"yeah, that's what i thoug—"
"i'll tell everyone tonight about what happened when you lied about being a mermaid —"
your embarrassment surged like a wave, your face growing uncomfortably warm. you felt the heat radiating from your cheeks, a prickling sensation spreading across your skin. your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of anger and mortification causing your pulse to quicken, the heat of your blush intensifying as the urge to defend yourself burned inside you, evident in the way you jammed your elbow into his side. 
you relished in the pained grunt he let out as he rubbed the targeted area, slightly bent forward as he glared up at you through narrowed eyes.
satisfied and proud, you pulled the laptop towards you and scrolled down to find more rude and dishonest reviews to casually debunk and argue with. 
 "'saw rats around in the shape of two kids... they should get an exterminator'..." you read out slowly, a tense silence falling over the two of you and (in your mind) the entire cafe too. your stomach dropped, eyes widening as you snapped your head over to face an already-disgruntled megumi. "is this incel talking about us?"
"ye—"
"how dare it?" you gasped, angrily typing up a response, the sounds of the buttons on the keyboard being pressed more aggressively than it should be resonated around the small interior. "look at the profile picture, that's the guy we shouted at last week!"
megumi leaned in, chin resting a little over your right shoulder as he examined the image with a glower. 
"he could afford to skip a few sweet treats —"
"it, megumi," you corrected, hitting 'enter' after you finished typing up your response. "it could afford to skip a few sweet treats."
he read out your response, tone bland and unwavering:
"'is that why they call you the rat whisperer?'"
he locked eyes with you, his usual blank expression barely masking the faint trace of amusement in his gaze. you looked away, back at the laptop to find another rude comment to respond to. 
"oh, one star review! look!" you said, pointing at the screen enthusiastically. "'chocolate too sweet. bad.'" you stared at the review, unimpressed. "i mean, it's almost as if that's the point."
you sighed and rolled your eyes, fingers flying over the keyboard as you typed a response to the absurd comment. megumi watched quietly, noting the way your eyes narrowed in unimpressed concentration as you crafted your reply. you wouldn't be actively defending this cafe and miss B if you truly believed that her food and service was not good: her bread, pastries, cupcakes, sweet treats were the best in the town. people ought to know that.
your response was quite simple, written in the same manner this liar wrote his:
dave schlager too stupid (chocolate is meant to be sweet). bad.
the bell behind you gave a soft chime, heralding the arrival of yet another customer. however, when you and megumi eagerly and robotically looked over your shoulders to observe the newcomer, you hadn't expected to feel that familiar strain in your stomach, an itch that ran all the way up to your throat, prompting you to laugh. you usually had this reaction when you'd see men, but the sight before you proved otherwise.
the woman who had entered the cafe was a sight to behold. her hair was an untamed mass, sticking out at odd angles that defied any sense of natural order. strands of grey wove through the wild mane, giving it a streaked, chaotic appearance. her eyes were wide and bulging, darting around the room with a manic energy that made them seem even larger. her clothes were dishevelled, adding to her overall rugged and eccentric look, only making it more of a struggle for you to suppress a laugh, her appearance so wildly unconventional, that it seemed almost surreal. you had half a mind to ask megumi to pinch you, but refrained, knowing he'd enjoy it too much. 
the two of you faced the front again. megumi didn't seem too fazed, face stony and tired. you, on the other hand, found your shoulders shaking with the effort of holding back several incoming giggles. he looked down at you, very clearly unmoved. 
"i'm gonna take a wild guess and assume you want to take this one?"
you slapped a hand over your mouth and faked a cough, forehead nearly meeting the table as you hid your laughter, bent forward and chest heaving. you felt megumi's hand tapping and rubbing at your back, almost as if to hold up the act that you were ill. 
you almost thanked him before you heard his low, grumpy voice.
"you're not embarrassing me today."
you didn't even have it in you to shrug his hand off. instead, you straightened up and made an attempt to mask your expression as much as possible, facing him with a sheepish smile.
"her story's not too long," you began, almost letting a giggle slip. almost. "megumi... she stole from the bank and the fbi tased her. and then — and then she got electrocuted!"
you laughed harder at that, making little effort to conceal it. even megumi, who barely ever smiled in a day — and who you very much expected to scold you for this one — looked like he was struggling to hide one (but just scarcely).
he eventually let out a small chuckle, which only encouraged you to laugh some more. you doubled over slightly, gripping onto the counter for support, some of your abandoned math sheets falling on the floor, your infectious giggles filling the quiet air. megumi's lips twitched slightly, a silent chuckle escaping him as he watched your reaction, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. at the sight of him joining in on the fun, you pointed at him, realising something else.
"why are you laughing?" you inquired, then reached down to retrieve a mirror, holding it up so he was met with his own reflection. "haha! you both got struck by lightning!"
his smile had disintegrated, only watching you as you rocked yourself back and forth at his expression, feeling a stitch in your side with how funny the situation was. silently and angrily, he swiped the mirror out of your hands, raising his own hand to flick at your forehead. 
you choked, the minor pain at the centre of your forehead jolting you awake from your laughing fit. scowling, you rubbed at the area he'd intentionally hurt, barely registering the fact that he had taken the laptop to continue attacking the bad reviews.
you let him, acknowledging the fact that what you had said was rather mean. 
"'i came not once, not twice but THREE times for food, every time it tasted not up to par,'" megumi's disinterested voice read aloud, the annoyance from what you'd said still lacing each word with slight venom. you laughed. "why would you go back to a place if you didn't like it? idiot."
"you tell 'em, porcupine," you encouraged, anticipating his response. 
megumi's witty comebacks were always funny. he didn't even mean to make you laugh with them, but even then, they were enough to have you practically rolling around on the floor, belly aching and heart running a million miles per second. his nonchalant behaviour only added to the amusement.
he wrote his reply, sent it, and then slid the laptop over to you. you leaned forward, reading and judging:
stop coming for breakfast, lunch and dinner, we're not a food bank.
you gave that one an 11/10 — the man behind the account would need to change his name, date of birth and identity, and then remove himself from the face of the earth if he ever wanted to recover from that, you concluded wisely.
your praise sat at the tip of your tongue, only to be abandoned at the echo of the bell's chimes that bounced off of the walls, signalling the arrival of another customer. figuring that this would be megumi's turn to create a theory, you turned on your stool excitedly, only to have your jaw drop to the floor and under.
standing in front of the door was none other than your favourite (and only) math teacher of the year: mr kento nanami! 
your heart skipped a beat as you caught sight of your math teacher entering the cafe. shock painted your features as you gawked, wide-eyed, hardly believing that the business-attire man was standing in a setting that wasn't your typical school environment. you exchanged a quick, incredulous glance with megumi before hastily adjusting your posture, trying to appear composed despite the unexpected surprise.
it was typical. he still wore the same clothes (which made sense since you and megumi had too seeing as you went straight to the cafe right after school had finished). but something about seeing him enter such a cottage-vibe, almost feminine cafe made you recoil, not that you were displeased at all. in fact, you thought that this was the best arrival that the bell had drawn your attention to yet!
"kento nanami!" you yelled, ignoring megumi wincing at the sudden volume of your voice as you raised an arm over your head to enthusiastically wave at him. 
a slight scowl of annoyance marred his usually composed face when he heard you call out to him using his government name. his brows furrowed, and a hint of disapproval flashed in his eyes, portraying his strict demeanour, but you didn't mind. surely school rules did not apply outside of the school environment? surely it didn't matter whether you referred to him as kento or mr nanami or whatever?
"kento, look!" you tried again, turning halfway to grab your math homework sheets and present them to him. "i'm sitting here doing your homework! in this beautiful cafe! because of you!"
"actually, you spent the last thirty minutes laughing at my customers and arguing with the bad reviews again," miss B corrected you, apparently materialising out of thin air. 
you jumped slightly, the sheets scattering and your brows furrowing as you watched her shut the laptop and take it away. kento's response also took you by surprise.
"i was correct in believing that it wasn't you disrespectfully responding to them."
he had made his way further down the interior, leading up to the counter where miss B, you, and megumi were.
you beamed. "no, it was megumi and i."
megumi grumbled something along the lines of 'wasn't me', which you knew was a complete and utter lie. megumi was your accomplice in all of this; it didn't matter whether you were the mastermind behind it all. he still served his purpose and did it brilliantly too. you couldn't have asked for a better partner. except, perhaps, nobara, who was equally as good as him at silencing people when it was necessary.
although, kento did not look as though he believed you. you didn't like that much.
"keep an eye out for the one where he told the guy that he shouldn't come so often because we're not a food bank!" you told him honestly, still smiling despite kento's obvious disbelief.
he glanced at megumi as if to say is-this-true? 
you chortled, knowing full well that megumi would not lie with his chest, especially not in front of you.
"megumi is sensible," said kento, with such confidence, you almost felt bad for him. you wondered what his reaction would be if you told him about that one zoo incident where megumi jumped into the gorilla enclosure and declared that he'd stay there for the rest of his life? or the occasion where little you and megumi had been scolded by your parents so badly, he made the suggestion of running away together (and went through with it) even though it was bound to have failed from the beginning? or the time where he helped you torment your unfriendly, rival neighbour mrs daphne on facebook to the point where she had marched down to your houses to complain to your parents? 
megumi is sensible, you thought, and nearly laughed. how comical, loud, and wrong.
"why do you think the punctuation is so perfect?" you asked, raising a brow. "you think i'd care enough to put capital letters and full stops everywhere?"
kento's eyes widened slightly, a flicker of surprise crossing his face as he processed the unexpected news. a momentary pause followed, during which his features tensed with mild astonishment, and yours only grew more joyful. megumi, on the other hand, was silently forcing down the urge to push you off your stool and walk home without you (he would never).
"the usual?" miss B interrupted, still smiling the elegant way that she does. 
kento nodded slowly, she began organising his order behind the counter. you blinked several times.
"the usual?" you repeated, bewildered. "kento nana—"
"y/n," he snapped, still composed even so. "refrain from referring to me with my first name."
"we're not at school," you reminded him.
he adjusted the odd, spotted tie he wore, looking irked. "doesn't matter —"
"you come here a lot?" you asked, curious. even megumi seemed interested, and he had been frowning and grumbling the second kento had walked past the door. 
"this place has the best bread in town," he told you, stiff. "better than my local supermarkets."
you grinned. "and miss B is the best cashier and server ever, right?"
you sensed megumi's gaze on you, causing you to adjust the way you sat slightly in your seat. you ignored the feeling, understanding that megumi knew what you were trying to do and was making it extremely clear that he wanted you to look at him for a second, if the way he was tugging at the bottom of your sleeve aggressively was anything to go by. you slapped his hand away, grin widening ever so slightly as the hiss he let out, still getting into character. your role? temporary matchmaker.
kento watched miss B work behind the counter.
"i respect her a lot," he said, barely answering the question. 
you wanted to gruel him for some more information, but your time had been cut short when miss B's soft voice had driven a smooth knife through the heated conversation.
"here you are," she said, handing him his food in a bag. 
he exchanged it for some money, she tried to give him some change, he told her she could keep it. with a final look at you, megumi, and the homework he'd assigned you, he told you to take care of yourselves and left the cafe, his strides even and his back straight. 
what took you by surprise was the fact that miss B had followed him out, waving at him from the door and telling him to come again after a brief conversation with him that you and megumi, from where you were sat, could not hear. she never did this with any of her other customers. you were here so often that you knew she did not. the two of you exchanged looks of obvious bafflement, sitting up straighter and raising your chins to nosily observe the sight before you.
when she returned, you did not miss the rosy pink in her cheeks. 
"miss B —" you began, only for her to interrupt you with a laugh.
"he's a regular customer, quite like the two of you," she said, and then looked around at the mess on the counter that were your unorganised math papers. "and he told me to tell you that you only needed to do page ten and eleven of the booklet."
you felt your stomach flip itself upside down.
you had fried your brain for no reason at all, for you'd completed nearly half of the booklet instead of the assigned designated pages. perhaps that would teach you to meddle in business that wasn't yours, you thought you heard megumi grumble from next to you, but you weren't so sure...
not when you'd dropped your head on the table, hopeless.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
bonus scene:
megumi and yuji were both traitors. 
during gym class, coach lauren did not seem to mind that you and nobara had migrated to the corner of the gymnasium, gossiping and laughing about who-knows-what. naturally, the class grew quite boring for the two of you, so you'd snuck out and gone to the football field where you knew coach yaga's class would be residing. 
long story short: megumi and yuji both rat you out and coach yaga had kicked the two of you off his field and had you stay with him for detention. 
all. because. of. them.
so in conclusion, the two of you had seated yourselves far, far away from them in any class that you could, which included satoru's physics class.
you were wary not to sit near malakai, who always had something odd to say to nobara. in fact, when she'd come into school with a brighter, new hair-do (no longer the dark colour that you were so used to) malakai had a few things to say... but that was a story for another day. 
now, you only just realised the mistake you had made sitting on the middle table instead of your regular seats. and it was not because of megumi or yuji, no.
it was because of the drama queen that just so happened to be your male, adult, mature teacher: satoru gojo. 
when taking the register, which usually went by pretty quickly, the second he had come to either of your names, he had started an act that made you believe that perhaps he should have been the one taking performing arts as a subject:
"y/n?" he'd called out, looking around the class as if you were not seated across the whiteboard, the first seat on the middle table. 
"here," you said, unfazed. 
"huh — oh!" he said, resulting in the eyes of everyone in your class to look at you as though you'd done something wrong, as though you were malakai, even. "oh, right, y/n... are you new here?"
you scrunched your nose up in something in between confusion and annoyance. what the hell was he talking about? unlike majority of the people sitting in the classroom, this man knew of your existence since you were four years old. what game was he playing?
"you're joking, right?" you said, watching him carefully as he scratched the top of his head and shrugged. "sa—"
"o-kay!" he perked up, rushing through the register with such ease, you hadn't expected him to stop and squint a second time. but he had. "i might get this one wrong so forgive me but... no— nobara? nobara?" he called out, once more, looking up and all around the classroom as though he couldn't see her sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with you.
unlike you, she had a much shorter fuse that he'd lit.
"what's wrong with you?" she demanded, eyes narrowed. "i'm here."
he raised his eyebrows up at her and nodded, muttering to himself. the two of you were both equally confused, and so was the rest of the class, it seemed, if the whispers were anything to go by.
the register had been completed not long after that. you assumed his weird antics would also finish too, but you were proven wrong once the idiot had opened his mouth to address the class again.
"so we have two new students with us today!" he said, excited. "make them feel welcome! their names are... nobara and..." he thought long and hard before looking over at you, tilting his head forward so you could see the terrifying blues that were hiding behind the circular lenses. "hmm... what's your name again?"
your anger simmered like a pot left too long on the stove, bubbling beneath the surface. as you stared back at satoru's clueless expression, it felt like a storm brewing in your chest, thunderclouds gathering with each passing moment. his feigned ignorance was like a slap in the face, a sharp thorn pricking at your patience, igniting the flames of your frustration.
how dare he?
he moved on to teaching the class before either of you got to call him out for his bullshit. 
only for it to slowly get worse as the time went by. 
he was sat at his desk, explaining the slide from the powerpoint that he'd presented on the board with a lazy smile and stretched out legs that resting on a spare chair.
"what's at the centre of an animal cell?" he asked the class, encouraging people to raise their hands.
nobara raised hers, eager to answer.
"new kid!" he said, and when she glared at him, he backtracked. "i mean nobara! — that was scary — what's at the centre of an animal cell?"
"the nucleus," she answered. 
he frowned. "huh?"
she frowned. "the nucleus," she repeated helpfully.
he leaned forwards, a hand cupping his ear. "sorry, i can't hear you, you're too far away."
oh, it made sense now, you thought in your head. he was throwing a fit over the fact that the two of you had chosen to sit in the centre of the room, a little further away from his desk, than at the back table with megumi and yuji, closer to him.
what a diva.
he directed the question to maryam, who sat at the table closest to the door and furthest from his desk.
"you're right! it's the nucleus!" he cheerfully praised her, continuing to teach as though he hadn't just distracted the entire class due to his theatrics. even malakai sensed something was wrong, claiming that 'the darkness is starting to reach the lightness of his hair... it is consuming him', whatever the hell that meant.
it hadn't ended there though, for when the worksheets were being handed out by yuji, he had completely skipped over you and nobara (though he looked quite frightened at doing so). it was no doubt satoru's instructions he was acting on behalf of.
"give it," nobara demanded, standing up and approaching him.
yuji held the papers close to his chest. "but mr gojo said —"
"mr gojo also once said that he's married with thirteen kids, do you believe that?" 
she forcefully snatched two sheets from him, marching back to where she was sat with you and slammed them down onto the table with such force, it shook, your pencil committing suicide off the edge.
"men will be the death of everyone, mark my words," she'd said.
when you raised a hand for help, your pencil clasped in your curled fingers, he asked what happened to gravity and why an inanimate object was suddenly floating. 
that was the last straw for you. 
if he was going to pretend that you had miraculously turned invisible, then you were going to do as you pleased with this ability. pencil still in your tight grasp, you stood up, made eye contact with your childish teacher, and sprinted out of the classroom.
satoru perked up, alarmed as he ordered for help.
"whoever's closest to the door, close it before she —"
you'd already left.
he let out a long sigh, only to raise a brow when you'd returned the second you'd disappeared from view, running across the classroom to take nobara's hand, glance up at your teacher, and say...
"malakai."
— before taking off with your friend, chaos ensuing behind you.
the chaos being malakai emerging from under the sink, arms flailing around himself, eyes rolling to the back of his head, snarling and growling as he shook, only creating more issues for satoru who, everyone knew, hated dealing with the odd emo.
that'd teach him to pretend that you (out of everyone) were invisible.
lesson learned, he thought in his head, letting out a loud and drawn out groan when malakai refused to stop.
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
(random tweets cuz i think you guys waited long enough for this chapter to come out, eat well 😁)
(p.s. ignore the date on the tweet, it was meant to say 2017 lmao)
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.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・
notes: i'm so tired, gonna take a longgg nap. not my favourite chapter tbh, but it's needed to set the scene for high school because the real part of the story (the one where all the drama starts and stuff) is arriving in less than three chapters!! and we also have a lovely character, important to the plot, to introduce next chapter, so stay tuned my little liars?
previous chapter :)
next chapter :)
taglist (send an ask or comment to be added):
@1l-ynn @shaigimo @shuupiu @myguumi @momoewn @xbarrjallenx @reinaswrld @anintrovertedechoe
© tojiscrack (previously ack4rwoman)
if you enjoyed my writing, i’d really appreciate it if you tipped me — tumblr no longer has the tip function, so maybe here in my tip jar :)
i do not own any of the characters of jjk, i only own the character of y/n and her mother. the other characters belong to gege akutami.
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lethalaeipathy · 2 years ago
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I posted 26,928 times in 2022
That's 11,481 more posts than 2021!
46 posts created (0%)
26,882 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
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@terezisexbuttpyrope
@nerdofnerds
@octodaddi
@elytrians
I tagged 1,035 of my posts in 2022
#oh look a post - 42 posts
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#games - 15 posts
#jjk - 11 posts
#quizzes - 10 posts
#dabi - 9 posts
#twitch streamer - 8 posts
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#long post - 7 posts
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Longest Tag: 132 characters
#once i was having a dope dream and tried to read something to make sure i was awake and i could read it but i was mad when i woke up
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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16 notes - Posted May 10, 2022
#4
twitch_live
I’m live on twitch streaming We Were Here Forever in the dumbest way possible. Check out my twitch above or check out me and @notsoheadless multistream link here
20 notes - Posted July 23, 2022
#3
My husband is streaming tonight and is putting on a maid outfit as we speak
33 notes - Posted March 28, 2022
#2
"War is war and war is hell, and hell never changes" is such a raw line you'd think it was from Shakespeare but actually its a line from Velocipastor (2017)
74 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Me: time to read the newest email from my good buddy Jonathan
My husband: what fanfic have you been talking about this whole time? Dracula and his gay lover or something
Me: I am literally reading Bram Stoker's Dracula
1,605 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
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asher-in-the-south · 2 years ago
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I posted 1,034 times in 2022
That's 837 more posts than 2021!
65 posts created (6%)
969 posts reblogged (94%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@darkhopping
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@achairwithapandaonit
@minecraft
@inthetags
I tagged 921 of my posts in 2022
Only 11% of my posts had no tags
#bnha - 232 posts
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#howls moving castle - 95 posts
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#songs of war - 58 posts
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#original post - 41 posts
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Longest Tag: 132 characters
#also im kind of. slowly approaching choso (also jjk) and trying to jump on too of him and catch him to put with my blorbo collection
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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what have i done.
48 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
#4
Various blacked-out sections of the HMC trilogy because I was bored at 2am
Click to see the whole images since the layout kind of cropped some lines. They're also formatted a bit nicer at the bottom.
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See the full post
115 notes - Posted February 5, 2022
#3
Imagine Neil trying to teach Howl how to play his video games but Howl doesn't understand it at all, then Howl tries to teach Neil how to play rugby and Neil doesn't get it at all either so they're both looking at each other like
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152 notes - Posted January 25, 2022
#2
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yeah so anyway
199 notes - Posted January 27, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
“But isn't Howl's Moving Castle written for 10-year-olds?”
yes mother, the sexy, manipulative and womanising wizard is written for 10-year-olds
249 notes - Posted January 23, 2022
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trans-fushiguro · 4 years ago
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Chapter 132.5 - Special Bonus Chapter: Mei
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jujufushi · 3 years ago
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