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i hate when one (1) minor inconvenience happens and all of a sudden i want to crawl into a hole, denounce humanity, and never speak to anyone again in the history of ever
#anxiety is such a fucking bitch#i hate it#like even if i don't get yelled at if i so much as hear a 'please dont do that' for any reason (usually from a prof or employee or whatever)#i am immediately surprising panic and it takes everything in me to not just run away and go lock myself somewhere#I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT#the most minor of shit and im already losing my gd mind#mayhaps i was just not meant to socialize#mayhaps i am just meant to live in my lil rat cage with blinders on for the rest of forever.... sigh#/neg#jj.txt#jj.tagspeak#jj.tagvents#i'd say delete later but this is too much of a mood to ever just 'go away'like that ....ugh
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will you go to brunch: a quiz
#given that i woke up at like 5pm and am currently procrastinating mad hard on an assignment due in 45 mins i havent even started on yet.....#fat mf mood.#these discussions are worth like 4pts and are like 20% of the final grade ....and ive only done like 1 of 3 or 4 so far 💀💀💀#and this class is important and the prof aint even bad but like....#give me all the quizzes and make me write or do exams like literally ANYTHING but discussion posts and replies....#much less to weird ass yt vids she finds and makes us psychoanalyze THE FUCK out of.....#feminist theory perspective on a maury vid???? and im supposed to like fight ppl doing cbt that actually might make sense??¿¿¿ fuckfkfkfk#feminist theory aint bad i just.... how tf do i use it to 'therapize' a situation like these whack ass vids bro........ 😕#k/m \ $#jj.tagvents
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name me one better feeling than this 💆🏻♀️
also why does this lowkey look like the impostor screen lmfao
#can't wait for finals week to finally fucking be over already#one down two more to go#and then there's the one prof who decided to have assignments due this week too.... mf punk ass-#my exams and assignments this semester have been t r a s h#my profs have rly fucked things up left and right but then we gotta pay for it. fucking up the questions or the dates or the site ..... a y#jj.tagvents
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#the shadow post just really reminded me of this moment in the gc today#bc why not#jj.jpg#//#Tw death mention#jk wrong ss i also mentioned my friend's ac island having tombstones for the Halloween event#And said smth abt my real bday gift being her finally taking me to an early grave#Fhsjdkfkdn why are we(i) like this#.....but ngl i prob should get back to therapy again. I just need a better therapist#....and some space prob my car idk. I am not fucking w/ a video call at home ugh#jj.tagvents
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life's just one big bruh moment after another
#so as it turns out.. i think my former therapist was right all along..........#on top of depression/anxiety... undiagnosed (until she mentioned it and brought back memories) adhd seems very likely ......#been looking into it a lot this year and just read some articles and experiences and sci journals that felt like they smacked me in the face#adhd & possibly even rsd from the looks of the assessments i did......#sorry i just really needed to vent bc like... no wonder man.... feels like it's all starting to make more sense now ...#why ive always been so jittery and why my teachers used to call me out and shit for pen clicking or foot tapping all the time and stuff#or for spacing out and forgetting shit all the time. one prof called me out in front of everyone and handed me a planner .....yikes bruh🙃#anxiety/depression i could tell i'd been dealing with since i was like 15/16 bc it was just painfully obvious lol#sooooooo yeah..#delete later#jj.tagvents#vent/rant#jj.psnl#personal
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#delete later#jj.tagvents#havent been on in a phat minute hope everyone's doin alright l#just poppin in to inform yall I'm even LESS social than before now apparently so like.. yikes#will i be at neet status soon.. god only knooowwss 😎🤘🏻#finished ghost stories and arifureta and started noragami s2-#like im so bad at binging shows i tend to get hooked more on interactive shit like games#look ive been semi productive i actually cooked yest and my depression is shit as always bc im never motivated but#hey at least im gonna to make mozzarella sticks and paint my nails (and finally wash my goddamn gross ass hair..ihope🙃)#ah yes the latest faith from apple ihope- ignore me Ghost Stories and its fucked up jokes keep getting to me#i forget being a bit of an asshole isnt a full on personality trait sometimes (and yes im joking im just a cynical bitch on occasion or w/e)#look just..lemme vent in peace herE PLEASE 🥴✌🏻#anyway wtf was i eveb saying anymkre uts like 8am and its been a long day or night or whatevrr rf#look time is a social contrust or whatever and we make shit up all the time evrtuthing eveb langyages nothing matters a& we all die the end-#wow great positivity there folks lmao but anywat tiss whatbism nlkknown for uuhhmm where tf was i hold up#anyway yeah just been binging a bitch of abime lately bc j have no life and near no r3ason to leave my room adnwhatnot so fick it#im not drunk my nails are too long and I'm toolazy to fix thus shit#bunch of anime** lmfaaaooo rip. can't wait to cit these fucksers tomorrow. auto correct is off and im roo lazt to swtpe so were qll ficked#godr belss anyone ssoul who tried to read thus shit 💀💀💀💀💀 i prob qont wven refognize it tmrw like im so FUCKING tired bro.#i havent held an actual conversation w/ someone besides my parents in a fat minute and its obv my fault for locking myself up but like...#quarantine has me feeling like my alr non-existent social akills just got so much worde like idk if i even wanna interact & embarrass myself#jfc i feel so gucking pathetic lately. I'll be doing basic shit minding my own business but feel like i need constant validation-#-in the sense that like i never feel like im doing anything right and i constantly have to keep asking if it's ok and just....bro#when you start to annoy yourself thats just how you KNOW...... ugh I'm so fickint uselelesss#but anyway i kinda maybe wanna satrt pallaying the new alter ego mobile game it looks interesting??? all i do lately is play spsrtsmtown-#-and log in to a few other shit (dont even play just log in for the bonus and go.. like im tHAT latzy) &then just sit around or watch shit..#its so poetic.. truly.. havent written or bothered with art or done anything i said i gaf about working on in so long..#think ive just kinda given up on most of my hobbies...like I'll dance a lil everu now snd then but like..wheres the quarantine thriving me??#the me who took up working out and like 2 languages and kept up w/ all her msgs and actually fuckijg tried at anything ever im- .....jaysusj#anyaway take carr sndstay safe yall see ya when isee ya (notthatanyonecareslbrherehaha) but anyway best wished everyone & pls take care!! xo
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