#jj routinely treated john very well

[graysistance]

“It’s so difficult to manoeuvre,” he says, exhaling deeply, visibly calibrating the level of professional diplomacy to display. “You get yourself involved in projects and you’re not necessarily going to like everything. [But] what I would say to Disney is do not bring out a black character, market them to be much more important in the franchise than they are and then have them pushed to the side. It’s not good. I’ll say it straight up.” He is talking about himself here – about the character of Finn, the former Stormtrooper who wielded a lightsaber in the first film before being somewhat nudged to the periphery. But he is also talking about other people of colour in the cast – Naomi Ackie and Kelly Marie Tran and even Oscar Isaac (“a brother from Guatemala”) – who he feels suffered the same treatment; he is acknowledging that some people will say he’s “crazy” or “making it up”, but the reordered character hierarchy of The Last Jedi was particularly hard to take.

“Like, you guys knew what to do with Daisy Ridley, you knew what to do with Adam Driver,” he says. “You knew what to do with these other people, but when it came to Kelly Marie Tran, when it came to John Boyega, you know fuck all. So what do you want me to say? What they want you to say is, ‘I enjoyed being a part of it. It was a great experience...’ Nah, nah, nah. I’ll take that deal when it’s a great experience. They gave all the nuance to Adam Driver, all the nuance to Daisy Ridley. Let’s be honest. Daisy knows this. Adam knows this. Everybody knows. I’m not exposing anything.”

He is on a breathless roll now, breaking his long corporate omerta to touch on the unthinking, systemic mistreatment of black characters in blockbusters (“They’re always scared. They’re always fricking sweating”) and what he sees as the relative salvage job that returnee director JJ Abrams performed on The Rise Of Skywalker (“Everybody needs to leave my boy alone. He wasn’t even supposed to come back and try to save your shit”). Even though he also acknowledges that it was an “amazing opportunity” and a “stepping stone” that has precipitated so much good in his life and career, he is palpably exhilarated to be finally saying all this. But to dismiss these words as merely professional bitterness or paranoia is to miss the point. His primary motivation is to show the frustrations and difficulties of trying to operate within what can feel like a permanently rigged system. He is trying, really, to let you know what it feels like to have a boyhood dream ruptured by the toxic realities of the world.

‘NOBODY ELSE IN THE STAR WARS CAST HAD PEOPLE SAYING THEY WOULD BOYCOTT THE MOVIE BECAUSE [OF THEM]’

[kirascottage]

dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable. 

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care. 

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself,��he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you) 

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

•  even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style: 

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

or

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe. 

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can. 

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.  

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely. 

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are. 

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3

[theobxhummingbird]

SLIPPING NOTES. -JJ MAYBANK X READER

Summary: From calling her ugly, to not taking his eyes off; JJ Maybank couldn’t hold back his feelings for Y/N.

A/N: Here’s me and my JJ x reader imagines again. I hope you like this one and please request an imagine. Just click on ask annika and I’ll be more than thrilled to write it for you. 🥰 P.S: Look at those arms dude (sorry I had to 🤤🤤🤤)

It all started with a few words, from the boy she didn’t ever want to hear a word from. Or, at least never hear the words he said to her face. Y/N had never been insecure about her body. She dressed in simple clothes; simple being her style. Sometimes, when she had to go to a birthday party or a kegger; jewelry or bandanas were her touch up. Her hair was, what their friends stated, the most beautiful they’ve ever seen and she really took a good care of it. It was naturally pretty and she had no problem with it. And it all went perfectly fine, until that one boy, known for his chase-tailing girls around Outer Banks and his masters in what type is the hottest or prettiest, had the drunken idea of telling his long time friend that she’s ugly. Yeah...ugly.

From that day on, Y/N never went to keggers again, neither did she attend any public events that involved JJ. He was a handsome guy; blonde hair, blue eyes, tanned body; your known heartthrob. But, Y/N and her little crush on him never really got the same reaction and attention as much as he did.

Her friends hadn’t been hanging out with her lately and they really got concerned of why she preferred being home more, than at the Chateau or the Wreck. Sarah contacted her through texting the group chat her, Kie and Y/N have:

Sarah💅: Y/N love, are you alive in this world?

Kie🐬: Yeah Y/N, we haven’t seen you for weeks now. Are you okay?

Y/N🥰: I’m doing fine guys, don’t worry.

Sarah💅 :Yeah, but we do, when we haven’t seen our best friend for weeks. Can we come over, are you free?

Kie🐬: I need to show you the new clothes I bought earlier asap!!!

Y/N🥰: Of course you can come. I’m waiting for you.

Sarah💅: See you girlie😘

Kie🐬:💋

While she prepared some snacks and drinks for when Kie and Sarah come, Y/N listened to some music. She didn’t put the volume up too much, so she could hear the door. And when she did, the two girls came inside, getting suspicious at why their friend’s wearing baggy clothes in the middle of the summer, but they shrugged it, happy to see her after a long time.

-There’s a kegger tonight, and I’m definitely wearing one of these shirts. -said Kie, putting the stylish clothes she got in the bags.

-Who’s hosting the kegger?

-JJ and John B of course. JJ’s been looking forward to it for a whole week now. He said that there were new girls in town and he was going to get lucky or something. -said Sarah, rolling her eyes.

-Right. Well, have a great time.

-What do you mean?! You’re not coming?

-No, I am not coming.

-Y/N, you’ve been skipping these public gatherings for a long time now and we start to worry, what’s the problem? -Kie placed her elbows on the table.

-Nothing’s the problem----just----I got bored of keggers, that’s all.

-Come, please, we’re going to have so much fun. -pleased Sarah.

She quietly started to think and decide, if this is her night of finally getting a small revenge on JJ’s words: “You are ugly!”

-Okay, I’ll come. -she assured them and drank her water. Sarah and Kie high fived each other and enjoyed Y/N’s company, until they separated to go and get ready for tonight’s party. Y/N told them not to wait for her, because she’ll arrive alone, giving an excuse of helping her mother quickly, before attending the party.

-

She was stood in front of the mirror, observing her put together self. Thigh length, white jeans, a white cropped top and a purple and pink flannel with purple, short heels. Her body was now perfectly curved and her skin was clear from the constant care and sunbathing. Her hair smelled nice and it was wavy. Y/N was definitely ready for this party.

All eyes were on Kie and Sarah that night; everyone looking at their outfits, until they were no longer looking their way, rather now their mouths were split in shock and looking at the entrance. She walked to her two friends like a model and all the boys whistled her way to them. Sarah and Kie still couldn’t make out if it was Y/N or some other girl.

-Are you---Y/N or am I tripping? -said Sarah.

-It’s me. -said Y/N, trying her best not to run home and change into something she’d normally wear to a party.

-You look stunning and in its every meaning. -said Kie, spinning her around.

JJ’s eyes, trailed down her perfect body, getting a bit too lost at a girl he called ugly not too long ago. His skin was sprinkled with goosebumps and his heart rate was faster than ever. He hardly held back himself from not going to her. But when he heard Pope and John B, deciding to approach them, he couldn’t miss the chance.

-Hello, girls. -said John B, throwing an arm around Sarah; Pope doing the same.

-Hi. -Y/N said quickly.

-Dude, -started Pope, -how did you manage to change so quick?

-What do you mean? I just treated myself a new style.-she winked at the boy.

-It looks great though.

-Thank you Pope.

-You literally had the biggest change of your life, but it suits you well. I mean, you can see that, since all eyes are basically on you. -said John B, looking around him to see guys smirking their way.

-I feel uncomfortable. -said Y/N, slightly closing her flannel. JJ didn’t say a word; he was stunned to his very core and all he could do was just admire her.

-

-Jack! -said a guy from behind Y/N with a put out hand.

-Y/N, nice to meet you.

-Are you alone? -he got closer so Y/N could hear him better from the music.

-No, I’m with my friends.

-No, I mean, do you have a boyfriend with you?

-I don’t. My friends and I are a whole group. -she tried to point out how uninterested she was at the moment.

-Do you want me to accompany you?

And these moments really stressed her. She didn’t want him to accompany her, at all, and it was tying her stomach in knots.

-No, I’ll be fine on my own.

-On your own? A hot girl alone at a party. See that really doesn’t sound safe.

-Like I said, I’m not alone, my friends are here.

-Come on babe, we’ll have a lot of fun. -he started to come closer and closer, catching her wrist as Y/N tried to let go off him.

-Get off her man! -yelled someone from behind him. Y/N’s gaze turned to the blonde; his eyes were flickering in anger and it didn’t seem to safe at the moment. He was JJ and fights for him were a daily routine. -I said, get off her.

-What will you do if I don’t?

-I repeat, get off her. -JJ tried to stabilize his slightly drunk self.

-JJ...-Y/N tried to warn him.

-She’s alone dude, and I felt the need to accompany such a lady.

-Get-off-her!

-If it means fighting a grasshopper like you, then sorry my man, I won’t let go. -he now used his strength to pull Y/N away with him. JJ caught his shoulder, spinning him around and punching him right in the nose. Y/N jumped back, trying to stop JJ from fighting, but his eyes were too blinded with jealousy that punches didn’t stop.

-JJ! -Y/N pulled him by his biceps.

-Don’t hold me back, princess. -he yelled and Y/N was finally able to pull him away. Placing a hand on his chest to stabilize his breathing, she intertwined their hands and took him as far from the kegger as possible.

-JJ what the hell is wrong with you? -she said; her voice filled with worry. -Why did you do that? And what for?

-For you, Y/N, I did it for you. -he stated. -No one should treat a girl like that.

-I could’ve solved it myself and no one asked you for help.

-Yeah, I saw how you were solving it. But you know what? I should’ve left you go with him, since I see you dressed to impress, you know, leave you to him.

-Dressed to impress? JJ, I didn’t dress to impress. I for once dressed in something that’ll make me feel free and modern. Plus, I combined my clothes into my style but still appropriate for a kegger. And why am I giving you an explanation; you were the one to call me ugly.

-You’re---not---ugly. -his voice softened.

-Well according to you I am, Maybank. -she said, -I’m going home. It’s enough.

-Wait, why are you leaving when you literally didn’t even have a drink or something?

-I don’t drink JJ, sorry. Bye. -she turned her back and started to walk away from him. His whole face was covered in blood and he couldn’t feel his bruised stomach. JJ thought she would offer to take care of him, but it seemed she was too broken from his side.

-

Her arms were wrapped around her freezing body, as she walked a long way back home. The streets were bare, without any sign of a human form. She tried her best not to turn around the lights that beamed behind her, as a car slowly approached her way.

-Y/N, get in. -said her well-known voice.

-Why did you come after me?

-Because it’s night and you’re not walking home alone.

-Like you care, JJ.

-If I didn’t, would I be here.

He was right. JJ would’ve been at the kegger now, macking on a touron, totally clueless he has another girl in his mind while kissing her. He parked the car and got out, coming face to face with frozen Y/N. His blues stared straight into her eyes, softly glancing to her lips.

-What? -she said, after a long time of just looking at each other in the middle of the road.

-Nothing, I’m just admiring your beautiful face. -he confessed.

-Yeah, after I took a great care of it. Calling me ugly, stayed and will stay with me, Maybank, so sorry, I take this as just a big lie.

-No really, your face is beautiful and was beautiful. I just couldn’t say it so saying the opposite was easier.

-Yeah, yeah, okay I get it JJ. Never mind. -she brushed next to him and started to walk away.

-Now you’ll play hard to get? -he yelled after her.

-For who? For you? Hah, you’ll only see it in your dream, Maybank.

And surprisingly, he really did. When he and John B, returned to the Chateau, he dreamed about Y/N and how she played hard to get and he tried to win her heart back again. The best part though, was that in JJ’s dream, he finally kissed her.

He got out of his bed, hearing someone sing in the kitchen and it wasn’t John B; for else he would’ve recognized that bad singing ability. His feet slowly made their way to the kitchen, surprised to find Sarah and Y/N preparing breakfast. More surprised, she was wearing the same exact clothes like in his dream. Hope was born in his heart. And since she was now alone in the kitchen, just like in his dream, he had the only chance, of making it come reality. Without thinking twice, he spun her around and placed a deep kiss to her lip balm covered lips, getting the taste of it on his own. Y/N didn’t have time to react; she just took in the surprising moment. When they split apart, their faces red as JJ’s cheeks, Y/N avoided any eye contact.

-I’m madly in love with you. -he said and now her eyes were deeply fallen into his. Her mouth split in shock and JJ lifted her chin to close it.

-Wha-ho-why-uh...-she stuttered, rubbing her cheek.

-I should’ve said it a long time ago, but didn’t have the guts to. Guess my dream pushed me into doing it. Or at least, give me some support.

-Your dream? -she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

-Yes, I dreamed of kissing you, right here, in this kitchen. -he trapped her on the counter.

-Wow. -was the stupidest thing that came out of her mouth in the moment. JJ licked his lips, glancing once again at hers. Her shy and embarrassed self, placed quick kisses to both of JJ’s cheeks and jogged to the table to serve the breakfast. She sat down and stuffed her mouth with vegetables, so no one can ask her a question.

-So, guys, what do you want to do today? -JJ came right after her, approaching her chair. He placed his thumb on her back, stroking her bare place as she straightened her figure at his touch.

-We can take the HMS Pogue for a ride today, see if we catch anything? -offered John B.

-Perfect. -said JJ, sliding his finger to her waist, then moving the chair next to her and sitting down. She cleared her throat and continued with her breakfast.

-

The Pogues were now on the HMS Pogue, and everyone put sunscreen on. The boys were enjoying their beers while Sarah and Kie jumped in the water. Y/N was sunbathing, getting that extra vitamin D. JJ’s eyes couldn’t leave her view and all he wanted to do, was comfortably flirt with her in front of his friends. And he got the chance to, when everyone decided to get in the water. John B was first, followed by Pope. JJ let Y/N get closer to the edge, lifting her in his arms and jumping together in the water.

-JJ. -she rubbed her eyes, when she was on the surface. -Oh my.

Her eyes stung from the salty water and he swam over to blow at them. The others immediately got suspicious and decided to observe from afar.

-Sorry baby, didn’t mean to hurt you. -he caressed her cheek.

-It’s fine, I didn’t close my eyes myself anyways. -she let out a short, cute laugh.

-Yeah, because I didn’t give you time to think. -he winked at her and placed a kiss to her knuckles.

The others started spraying each other with water and Y/N seemed to somehow find herself trapped in a big fountain of water. JJ saw her and swam over. He engulfed her in a hug to protect her from the amount of waves the other created by diving, jumping, splashing.

-What’s this? -he stroke her red wrist.

-I don’t know, it’s the first time I’m seeing it.

-Did I do this? -he shot up his worried eyes.

-No, I don’t think so. It was Jack definitely.

He placed his wet lips to the place and started to kiss her wrist. -Give me the pain. I’ll take it so you don’t have to go through it.

She was stunned from him, not waiting for him to ever say those words. But he did and she started to slowly push aside her stubbornness.

-I love you. -she almost whispered while looking at JJ with love. His wide eyes shot up to her face now, getting that happy smirk on curved on his lips. She shook off her dazed feeling and looked everywhere except at him. He caught a grip of her hands and telling her that they’ll go underwater, she nodded in assurance. He slowly pulled her with him and attached his, to her lips when they were under.

-

Kie invited them to the Wreck, for a tasty lunch after their fun in the water. They were all sat around the table as it was filled with fries and burgers. JJ was holding Y/N’s hand the whole time, working with only one.

“You are basically, the only thing that keeps me entertained in this place.” -he slipped a note from under the table.

-I’m not even talking that much. -she unnoticeably whispered to him.

-Yeah, but you’re the cutest, ya know? -he winked...and her whole body roamed heat through her brain and finally her cheeks.

“Can we date?” -he slipped another one.

Y/N took the piece of tissue and wrote something, slipping it under the table. - “How could I say no to your handsome face. Of course we can.”

He didn’t plan to have a positive answer from her, rather waiting for her to be stubborn about everything and never forgive him for calling her ugly.

“I’m sorry I called you ugly. Because I didn’t mean it, I promise.”

Y/N send him a reassuring kissy face and it was enough for JJ to know she has forgiven him. They soon announced their relationship to the Pogues, JJ finally getting the chance of calling her his in front of everybody, even getting the chance to cuddle her in front of Jack. Y/N was happy and it was what mattered to him the most.

[angelliev]

Lover Boy - JJ Maybank x OC - Part Fifteen - Like Mother, Like Daughter

Word Count: 3K 

Summary: Aria suffers with the aftermath of being disowned by the man who raised her, and seeks the truth from Elaine, her mother. 

Warnings: Pregnancy, morning sickness, crying, light angst, typos probably and fluff. 

A/N: I am so sorry I haven’t posted for almost a week now. To be honest I have been on a writer's block and had no idea where I wanted to go with this series, but know I'm back on track and ready to write my big fluffy heart out. Enjoy. (Not my GIF. Credits for the owner. I don’t own the show or any of the characters.)

Lover Boy Series Masterlist

Feather light kisses are placed delicately on my peach soft skin by JJ’s luscious lips. I sigh as he finds my certain spot. His rough hands roams my body, treating me like porcelain. I smile at him as he kisses downward until he reaches my stomach, places a sweet gentle kiss. He hugs my waist as he lays his head on my stomach for a moment. He just smiles for a moment, not saying a word.

“I love you. You know that?” He looks up at me with such admiration. “I know. You make sure to not let me forget.” I chuckle, playing with a strand of his hair. “Need to make sure my babygirl feels loved.” The two of us giggle together. “I still can’t believe I’m gonna be a dad.” I take his hand in mine before leading it down to my stomach. “Well, this baby is going to have one amazing father, and I’m more than happy that I’m having your baby.” I kiss him sweetly. He smiles softly. Ever since we learned about the pregnancy, he’s been extra gentle with me. It’s kind of adorable to be honest. He treats me like glass, I swear. “C’mere.” He says seductively.

I giggle as my head hits the pillow. His lips massage mine. His hands find my waist. His body nestles between my open legs. I pull him closer, leaving no space between our bodies as our make out session ensues. I let out a gasp when his hands cup my breast, toying with the buds, causing them to harden. My hands travel down his naked back. Just as they find his belt, John B busts the door open before shooting us with the damn squirt gun.

“C’mon man! Cut it out!” JJ throws a sock at the cockblocker. “Nope! Trust me I’m happy for you two, but before you know it you’ll be popping out like ten babies! Stop attacking the pink fortress!” He scolds JJ before leaving, keeping the door open. “Did he seriously say the pink fortress?” I asked in disbelief. JJ just nodded in embarrassment. The two of us eventually get up and make our way towards the kitchen where John B was cooking. The smell of bacon invades my nostrils, making my stomach turn and face go green. I waste no time to sprint to the bathroom, JJ follows behind me. I hunch over the toilet as I vomit the contents of my stomach. JJ hands grab a hold of my hair.

I release a string of coughs and wipe away a few tears as I finally finish. JJ wipes my mouth with a few napkins. The disgusting taste of vomit still lingers in my mouth. “I’m sorry. God, that’s so embarrassing.” I mutter under my breath. “You have nothing to be sorry for babe.” JJ hands me my toothbrush and toothpaste. I slowly brush my teeth as I lean over the sink. “I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes. “Are you sure?” He asked. “Yeah. Go eat breakfast. I just need a minute.” I reply. He plants a kiss on my temple before leaving me to gaze at my reflection.

I’m pale as shit, my lips are chapped, my hair is a mess and eyes are glossy. I look like a fuckiing train-wreak. I’m four weeks pregnant as of now. I haven’t been to school ever since I got out of the hospital. I’ve been crashing out at John B’s since Claude kicked me out. I haven’t really found the courage to talk to my mother. Thankfully, she’s giving me space. I don’t hate her. I can’t. She is so sweet to me and has never let me down, so how could I? I just haven’t talked to her because I’m avoiding a certain conversation.

I’m still having a difficult time trying to acknowledge the fact that Claude isn’t my dad. Learning the truth made me feel multiple things. For starters, I felt sort of relieved to know that I wasn’t related to someone as despicable as him. But then I felt upset that there was someone out there who was my real father and I don’t even know his name. I begin to wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I knew him though.

I walk out of the bathroom to see the boys slinging their backpacks on. “Feeling better?” Asked JJ. “Yeah, just some morning sickness.” I blow it off. “There’s still some food left if you’re hungry.” John B points to the pan. “Thanks, I’ll eat in a minute.” I smile at the offer. “You sure you don’t want me to stay here with you babe?” JJ asked, holding my hands. “Positive. You need to go to school.” I lead him towards the van. “Okay, but if anything happens, call me.” He demands. “Yes lover boy. Be good.” I peck his lips through the window before the two drive off.

I’m grateful for John B letting me crash out at his place. I can’t stay with Sarah, since her parents hate me, and I definitely can’t stay at Charis’ since her mom no longer wants to be associated with the Prescott family. Thankfully, John B stepped up and offered his place until we had my living situation under control. Ever since then, I’ve been sharing a room with JJ. Living in the chateau wasn’t bad though. I adore the little fish shack on the marsh. I decided now would be a good time to clean up around the shack since the boys were. Plus, I have nothing else better to do.

I think telling the pogues about the pregnancy was scarier than telling Claude. My worst fear was losing them, since they’re like a second family to me. I expected them to judge me as I broke down in tears. Instead, they all wrapped me up in their comforting arms.

It was around noon when Sarah had decided to stop by. Lately she has been bringing me my homework, since I refuse to show my face at school. We talked about the usual. The school has been talking nonstop about me being pregnant. I couldn’t help but laugh at the stupid rumors Sarah told me about. Might as well let them think what they want to think. “So, I ran into your mom this morning.” She said all of the sudden. “How is she?” I asked nervously as I fiddle with a pencil. “She misses you. She’s a little scared though. She thinks you hate her.” She answered. “I don’t hate her. I could never.” I say. “Then talk to her. Let her know that. She wants to explain herself. She wants to tell you about your father.”

“You want some coffee?” I attempt to change the conversation. “You can’t ignore this forever you know? Might as well hear her out. Aren’t you at least curious as to who your dad is?” “I’m curious, but I don’t want to meet him okay?” I mumble. “But why not?” Sarah pushed. “Because I’m scared. What if he wants nothing to do with me? How would he react to find out he’s a father and soon to be grandfather?”

“You won’t know unless you find out. I can’t say I know how he’ll react, but I do know that whatever happens, you’ll still have me, JJ and the pogues by your side.” She takes my hand, running a thumb over it. “I’m not saying you have to meet him right now, but you should really see your mom. Please? For me?” She pleaded with her puppy dog eyes. “Fine.” I reluctantly agreed with the persuasive girl.

Later…

I didn’t know what to expect as I walked through the hospital halls to my mom’s office. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing from the nerves that were piled up in my body. I hesitated for a moment before knocking on the door. Her head pops up and her eyes light up to see me. She doesn’t wait to jump out of her seat and engulf me in a hug. “Aria! I was worried about you. I’m so sorry about everything.” I couldn’t help but return the tight hug. “I’m okay mom, and you don’t need to be sorry.” I reassured her.

“What brings you here?” She asked curiously. I sigh. “I came here to listen.” I answer. “Oh, well what do you want to know?” She asked. “Everything. I just want the truth.” My mother sighs before sitting back down. I take a seat from across her desk. “I want to know about my real dad.” I said, instead of beating around the bush. My mom hesitates for a moment, not sure if she wanted to speak.

“Before I met your father, I grew up in the outer banks on figure eight. Growing up my parents were very strict. Believe it or not, Pogues vs Kooks was still a thing back then. I never really cared for it though. To be honest I envied the pogues for the longest time, because I was sheltered. All the friends I had were fake. Every day was the same old routine. My life was agonizingly bland. I absolutely hated it. I already knew what the rest of my life was going to look like. That was until I met your real father. His name was Jamie Wilson. He was a Pogue at heart. Carefree, rebellious, energetic and adventurous. He was a bit of a heartthrob. He made me feel like a princess. He changed my life. He taught me how to love and be truly happy. We started dating. My friends stopped hanging out with me and my parents were pissed. I was forbidden to see him, but I didn’t let that stop me. I spent every day with him, much to my parents' dismay. I have never been so in love with someone in my entire life. To this day I hold him close to my heart.” She smiles at the memory of him.

“So what happened?” She lets out a long sigh. “My father purposely took up a new job in Connecticut. They packed up quickly and I was forced to say goodbye. He gave me this promise ring that he saved up his money for.” She showed off the vintage ring on her finger. I’ve seen her with this ring for years, but never thought anything of it.

“He didn’t promise me marriage, yet he promised to always love me, no matter how far apart we are, no matter how old we grow, he’d never stop loving me. He didn’t want to hold me back, he wanted me to move on with my life.” A tear fell down her face.“Two years later I had graduated and went to Yale University. That same year I was introduced to Claude. I married him at nineteen and had your brother when I was twenty. At first our marriage was going pretty smoothly and the two of us were happy. He was a different man back then. I was able to move on.” This all came as a shock to me. “What made him change then?”

She just shrugged her shoulders. “I had Jennifer when your father started to change. He was just becoming more stressed with work, his alcohol intake grew, he started to close off from everyone and he began having a wandering eye. I had suspected for a while that he was seeing other people, but I never wanted it to be true. So I denied such things, that was until I had caught him with one of his mistresses. At that point I had broken down. I had gotten so mad, we both just started yelling at each other. I walked out that night, which seemed to scare him, cause the next morning he was apologizing. It was then I told him that I needed some time apart from him and the kids. Damian was sent off to boarding school and we had hired a nanny to watch Jennifer.” My mom seemed embarrassed to admit that.

“I decided to take a trip to the outer banks. All of my happiest memories were there and that’s what I needed the most. Part of me was hoping to find Jamie, yet I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I can’t even describe how I felt when I saw him. For a moment I thought he wasn’t real, that was until I was in his arms again. At that moment I didn’t want to leave, I had considered running away, leaving my life behind to be with him, but I couldn’t do that to your brother and sister. I was happy and carefree that whole week. I had fallen in love with him all over again, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of our love. When I got back to Connecticut, I had made a deal with Claude. I said I wouldn’t go through with the divorce, but we had to move, have a fresh start. He had agreed and we moved to Chapel Hill. He still continued to cheat on me, and I continued to see Sam, since we were closer. I’d go see him whenever Claude was on a business trip, which was often. Things got serious however when I got pregnant with you, by Sam. Thankfully, I was able to convince Claude that you were his, due to his many blackouts.” My mom rolls her eyes.

“Does Jamie know I’m his?” “Yes, I told him immediately about the pregnancy. Sometimes when Clause was on a business trip, I’d take you to see Jamie as a baby, but as you got older he couldn’t really see you without you or Claude becoming suspicious. So, I had convinced Claude that we move to the outer banks. I didn’t want to divorce Claude until you turned eighteen, because I didn’t want to risk losing you and the kids in a custody battle." She begins to cry. I can’t help but feel slightly guilty. “Are you still seeing Jamie?” I asked. “Yes. Aria, I’m so sorry for any pain that I have caused you. I should’ve thought more about you and your siblings, but Claude threatened that if I divorced him, he’d make sure I’d never see you guys again. He's a powerful man Aria, if he wants something, he’ll get it. I can’t help how I feel about Jamie. I love him the way you love JJ. I just hope you don’t hate me, because I love you so much sweetheart.” She sobbed. I couldn’t stop myself from hugging her.

“Please don’t cry mom. I don’t hate you, I could never. I love you too. You have always been there for me. You’re like one of my biggest cheerleaders. I couldn’t ask for a better mom. Your happiness is mine. If Jamie makes you happy you should stay with him. Just leave Claude. I’m an adult no, there’s no point in a custody battle now.” “I don’t want to let anyone down.” She wiped away her tears. “Mom, for years you have worried about everyone else’s happiness, for once just worry about yours.” I tried to convince her.

She just smiles at me sweetly. “Thank you sweetheart. I guess we’re more alike than we think. Always chasing the boys we can’t have.” We laughed together. “Like mother, like daughter.” I laugh. She tucks a piece of hair behind my hair. “Love is a wild ride isn’t? I swear, us girls are cursed to fall in love, it’s what makes us girls.” I nod in agreement.

“Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?” She questioned. I thought about the offer for a moment, not thinking of anything I could possibly want or need, but something that somebody else needs. “Now that I think about…”

Later that night….

I came back home just as the sun began to set. I find JJ tinkering with the car. His eyes are so focused and trained on the vehicle and tools in his hands, he doesn’t even notice me approach him. “Hey baby.” He’s taken away from his zone, surprised to see me. “Hey babe. Where’d you go?” He asked, pecking my lips. “I went to see my mom.” I answered with a small smile on my face, he smiled back. “Really? How did that go?” He was interested and surprised. “Great. We just talked. She told me about my dad.” This made JJ take me in his strong muscular arms. “He lives here in the cut. He’s a firefighter. His name is Jamie Wilson.” This makes JJ jump up all of the sudden startling me. “No way! You’re dad is THE Jamie Wilson?!” JJ’s voice was laced in excitement, like a child meeting their favorite character at DisneyLand. “Wait, you know him?” I asked confused. He looks at me with a bewildered face. “You don’t?!” He almost looked offended.

“I wasn’t aware he was a celebrity around here.” I chuckled at JJ. “Are you kidding me? Everyone in the OBX knows him. Everyone down here in the cut admires him. He’s like most Pogue person you could ever meet.” Well I wasn’t expecting that. “So, what did he do to deserve such fame around here?” I asked, this also surprised JJ. “Before he became a firefighter, he used to race. At first it was cars, until he saved up his money to buy his own boat. He’s also an amazing surfer! I can’t believe he had a kid. As of now, I’m looking down at the legendary offspring of Jamie Wilson, and she’s all mine.” This made me burst out laughing. “You’re adorable JJ, you know that?” I admired his smiling face. “Of course I do. I get that a lot.” This just made me roll my eyes, before planting my lips on his in a passionate kiss. I wonder if the baby could feel the butterflies fluttering around my stomach.

“Can I tell the pogues? They’ll be stoked.” He asked with his puppy dog eyes. “I suppose.” I smile, when he littered my face in sloppy kisses before running off into the Chateau. “Guys! You’re not going to believe this!” His voice could be heard throughout the whole shack. I giggled, knowing that the pogues are never going to let me hear the end of this.

[idemandoolong]

When You Can Handle The Lies, Backstabbing, and Unfair Treatment, Then You're Allowed To Be Famous

Most of us have fantasized about what it’d be like to be rich and famous. The paparazzi, the photoshoots, the money, the power, the adoring fans…but what we don’t seem to think about is what famous people tell us ALL THE TIME:

Being famous is unfair, AND it’s every person for himself/herself.

Now, most celebrities don’t flat out say this, but they’ll say it in roundabout ways or with cute little slogans like “Ain’t no friends in the game.”

We romanticize this and think it’s cool and trendy, but that shit would destroy 99% of us. The majority of us can’t handle the negative aspects of fame, and I’m not talking about the rumors and loss of privacy. I’m talking about how you’re essentially forfeiting loyalty and trust–which are things we regular folks take very seriously.

Allow me to explain.

In 2007, during Cycle 9 of “America’s Next Top Model,” Ebony Morgan was in the bottom two with Ambreal Williams. Ambreal was sent home, but Ebony opted to go home instead, thus allowing Ambreal to stay.

Now, five years later, during Cycle 18, Eboni Davis and Alisha White were in the bottom two. Eboni was eliminated, but Alisha opted to forfeit. Same situation, right? Well Eboni was told she’s still going home.

You may explain this away by saying “Well maybe the rules changed.” But THAT’S why you can’t handle fame, silly rabbit. You just don’t get it:

There are no rules in Hollywood.

You’re so used to rules and laws and consistency, but in the fame game, that doesn’t exist. It is solely up to Tyra Banks (and the producers) to decide whom to eliminate. It doesn’t matter if all of America says you’re the best. It doesn’t matter if the “judges” are being hypocrites. Nothing matters. You don’t matter. They don’t care about you, and that’s something most of us can’t deal with.

In fact, the winners of “Top Model” have come out and said they’re not taken seriously in the modeling world, so it’s hard for them to book jobs and gigs. And it’s not like Tyra Banks is using her name to get them jobs. She doesn’t give a damn. Their usefulness is over as far as she’s concerned. Boom. Bye. On to the next wannabe model.

I’ll give you another example.

Janet Hubert portrayed Vivian Banks on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” from 1990-1993. She once told a story how Countess Vaughn (Moesha, The Parkers, Hollywood Divas) once auditioned for a role on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” and was given the part. Now, before taping a show, the actors and actresses sit around and do what’s called a table read.

They literally sit at a table together and read the script aloud while the writers and executives and producers are there taking notes to decide what they want to change.

Anyway, Countess is there reading her lines and everyone is laughing. They love her. She’s perfect for the role and she’s excited about taping her episode. She goes home…and they never call her back. She doesn’t know what happened. Some time later, she runs into Janet and asks what happened. Janet explained that Will Smith was afraid she’d upstage him, so he had her dropped.

Nobody fought for Countess. When she got dropped, they just went on with their lives. Nobody even tried to contact her and say “Hey, look��this is what’s happening…”

Now before you say Janet is making up lies and is bitter, Countess alludes to this very story in an episode of Hollywood Divas:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04cTELr5Fxc

We regular folks aren’t used to be being treated like that. Imagine if you got a job and were told on your way home from the interview, “Actually we want somebody of a different race.” You’d sue, and win. But you can’t do that in Hollywood.

You can get fired from a movie for being too young (Stuart Townsend from “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring”).

You can get fired and have your scenes re-done by a replacement (Chloe Grace Moretz in “Bolt”).

You can spend months recording all your lines AS THE MAIN CHARACTER and get fired because the gender of the character changes (Holly Hunter in “Chicken Little”).

It doesn’t even matter. As I said, in Hollywood, you don’t matter. Very few people actually give a damn about you. Now take this a step further and imagine being a person of color in Hollywood. Those three people I just mentioned are all white. If they’ll do that to white folks, imagine what people of color endure.

Even your bandmates who you’ve grown up and were your best friends for ten years will leave you in the dust at the drop of a hat. Remember what happened to Destiny’s Child?

If you don’t, long story short, best friends Beyoncé Knowles, Kelly Rowland, LaTavia Roberson and LeToya Luckett formed a band known as Destiny’s Child. After two platinum-selling albums, one day in early 2000, their music video “Say My Name” premiered with two new members, Farrah Franklin and Michelle Williams in the band, lip-synching over LaTavia’s and LeToya’s vocals.

There was no announcement. No press conference. No nothing. Just boom. LaTavia and LeToya didn’t even know they had been fired until, like everyone else, the video premiered. After a whole bunch of back and forth and “he said, she said,” it later came out LaTavia and LeToya were having disagreements with their manager, Mathew Knowles, the father of Beyoncé. He was the group’s manager AND the manager of the four singers individually.

LaTavia and LeToya fired Mathew as their personal managers due to financial reasons and for the way he was allegedly mistreating them. He responded by hiring two new singers and the show went on until Farrah Franklin quit due to Mathew’s alleged mistreatment five months later. Destiny’s Child told the public for years that Farrah couldn’t “handle” being famous, but the truth is she asked too many questions like why was Solange Knowles (Beyoncé’s younger sister) getting a cut out of the band’s paycheck as a backup dancer when she not once danced….until after Farrah quit. She also didn’t like that she, Michelle, and Kelly had to go to tanning salons to appear darker so Beyoncé would be the lighter one, she became sick overseas and nobody seemed to care, Mathew would literally yell at her and verbally abuse her….she couldn’t take it anymore so she left.

How would you feel if you quit a job due to unfair treatment, but everyone was told it was because you “couldn’t handle” the job?

Still think you could handle it?

Ok, big shot. Try this on for size.

Karan Ashley portrayed Aisha Campbell on “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers” from 1993-1995. It’s a bit complicated, but the creator of the show was making millions of dollars from the success of the show, and the actors weren’t paid very much. Keep in mind, “Power Rangers” was one of the most successful shows in the US, and the actors’ likenesses for toys, video games, and all sorts of merchandise was being used…and they didn’t get a dime for it. In fact, Walter Emmanuel Jones portrayed Zack Taylor from 1993-1994 in 81 episodes, and lived with roommates the entire time. That’s how little he was paid.

When 20th Century Fox approached “Power Rangers” to make a movie, the actors were severely lowballed with how much they’d get paid. He, along with co-stars Thuy Trang and Austin St. John asked for more, they were rejected, so they quit. Karan Ashley, Steve Cardenas, and Johnny Yong Bosch (who is half-Korean and was told by producers to use his mother’s maiden name of Yong in his name to seem more Asian…because, I guess, nobody can tell you’re Asian unless your mother says so) were immediately hired as replacements and filmed the movie.

Anyway, in 1995, Karan Ashley wants to be let go from the show. Not only do they film for about 16hrs per day, but again, the pay is low. She’s told her character will be given a ten-episode story that will have her leave the series.

So the actors go on a much needed two-week break after 61 episodes, and when they return, Karan is told “Oh, we don’t need you anymore. You can go.” Just like that. No ten-episode story. No going-away party. No nothing. Boom. Gone. Bye. And the show just went on without her.

I could go on and on with similar stories.

Mo’Nique’s show being cancelled despite being the top-rated show on BET at the time of its cancellation.

Cree Summer being fired from playing Meg on “Family Guy” as she’s on her way to work.

John Amos and Esther Rolle being fired from “Good Times” after complaining the JJ Evans character was stereotypical, but the press being told they were envious of the character’s success.

Jamie Lynn Spears getting pregnant at 16 years old, so all the actors lose their jobs on “Zoey 101.”  

But I’m telling you these stories to say being famous is simply not fair.

You get fired from jobs for reasons that aren’t your fault. Promises are routinely broken. Your friends and co-workers don’t stick up for you. There’s no consistency. People say one thing and do another all the time. You’re lied to all the time. And nobody cares because it’s done to them, too.

Think of all the times you were treated unfairly or lied on or lied to or did a whole bunch of work for nothing…now imagine that happening pretty much every single day.

That, ladies and gents, is what it’s like to be famous.