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Ray of sunshine
(pre-launch page for their comic)
#I can not wait to make this comic#I have to stop thinking about it or else I cant focus#every time I start thinking about it I get all jittery. I wanna make it so fucking bad its unreal#hope to GOD I can do it full time omfg#I'll need like 500 people on my patreon paying to read ahead. ish. minimum. which is scary ahgkjsahgkjagh#but! I'll be able to put that on patreon! I cant do that right now. so thats cool!!!#just a lot of people AJGLKJGLKJASLKGGA#like it has to do well or I'm gonna have to get a different job#cause. I am NOT working for webtoon again#I cant do it they are killing me#and I'm not getting paid enough for it#I pitched this comic btw and they said they liked it but they wanted me to simplify the plot.#cause it was 'too complicated'#its literally just like. a murder mystery + a romance + a fetch quest#like its extremely not that complicated lmfao#they thought that people wouldnt be able to follow cause theres too much going on.#and I am not interested in simplifying my stories to this extent. I respect my readers and I trust they can follow plots#just. omfg I'm doing it again!!!#I cant start talking about webtoon without going off again!!!#they PISH ME OFF ! HAHAHAHAH#okay. anyways. I have to get back to work now this took me longer than I expected#like 4 hours#I'm enjoying this new illustration style I've been doing though. its fun.#its like 1 layer and then a ton of effects HAHAHAH#we were legion#zagan and luciel#zagan#luciel#how did I make zagan so hot... I'm a genius...#if he isnt hot then no one would put up with his behavior at the start of the ccomic HAHAHAHA
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[CN] Li Zeyan’s Candlelight Date (Eng Translation)
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 烛火之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡
[Translation Under the Cut]
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Subbed Video】
youtube
─────────────
【Chapter 1】
After being stuck in traffic for over forty minutes on the way to the airport, I slam on the brakes once again, staring in despair at the unmoving stream of cars ahead.
The weather outside is gloomy, the sky overcast with heavy dark clouds, and the wind howls through the crevices of the car windows.
Even though the evening has barely fallen, the sky is already darkened completely.
MC: Feels like it’s gonna be pouring hard...
MC: I don’t know if Li Zeyan’s flight has been affected.
Just as I am about to look up the flight information, his call comes in.
LZY: I’ve arrived.
MC: That’s great! It looks like there’s gonna be a heavy downpour outside, so thank goodness you landed on time.
MC: On the downside, though, I’m stuck in traffic...
LZY: Given the weather, I could guess that already.
LZY: Don’t rush, safety first. Turn on your headlights and take your time.
MC: Don’t worry, I promise to follow the traffic rules~ So, I must apologize to CEO Li and ask him to wait for me a little longer~
LZY: No worries, I’ll just take this time to think about what to make for Pudding.
The day Li Zeyan is returning from his business trip also happens to be Pudding’s birthday, and we’ve planned to have a small celebration at home.
As I picture Li Zeyan making a birthday cake for the little kitten, the corners of my lips involuntarily curl upwards.
MC: Pudding’s parents are so thoughtful! The little birthday boy is blessed with the luck of tasty treats today.
MC: Rest assured, I’ll definitely get you to Pudding safely and in one piece.
LZY: With a certain someone “braving the wind and waves” to come pick me up, I’m already luckier than those who can’t get a cab.
MC: Hehe, this time it’s my turn to be the prince who cuts their way through thorns and thistles to rescue the sleeping princess!
LZY: Well, it seems like I’ll have to wait a hundred years then.
MC: ...you just told me to take my time.
A soft chuckle transmits from the other end of the phone, and carried by the car’s stereo, it spreads through the entire space, giving me the illusion as if he is right next to me.
LZY: It’s not contradictory.
LZY: Even if it takes you a hundred years, I’ll still wait.
–
──────
[Tidbits]: This conversation here is a reference to one of Li Zeyan’s earliest ASMRs, “Sleeping Beauty,” where LZY said in response to MC’s question that if he were the prince, he wouldn’t let the girl he loves wait a hundred years. Whereas, in the reverse scenario here, he tells you that if he were the sleeping princess and you the prince, he would gladly wait a hundred years (இдஇ; ) though, for a man who literally did wait 17+10000(*n) years for you— a hundred years is, well, still unbearable to think about ahah (ノಥ益ಥ)
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 2】
I park the car near the exit, and as soon as I look up, I see Li Zeyan walking towards me, dragging his suitcase.
I immediately push open the car door and run up to him, throwing myself into his arms as hard as I can. Both his hands are occupied by luggage, and I collide against him so hard that he staggers back a few steps.
His familiar scent wraps around me securely, instantly dispelling all the tension and fatigue from the road. I nuzzle against his chest contentedly, earning a soft chuckle from above my head.
LZY: Why the lack of courtesy right off the bat?
MC: I haven’t seen you for days, and I’ve made our big busy person wait so long. I can’t afford to be polite anymore.
Li Zeyan smiles, lets go of the luggage, and draws me into his arms, lowering himself to rest his head on my shoulder.
A soft sigh sounds next to my ear, and I sense how exhausted he is. I put aside my playful thoughts and stroke the back of his head.
MC: I hoped you could get some rest after getting off the plane, but I didn’t expect this weather…
MC: I’ll head out earlier next time!
LZY: You already got here much faster than I expected.
LZY: Let’s go, there’s a birthday boy waiting at home. It’s raining hard outside; I’ll drive on the way back.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
As we head home, rain begins pouring down in torrents. Even with the wipers operating at their highest speed, the visibility only clears for a fleeting moment.
Through the impenetrable curtain of rain, the emergency lights of nearby vehicles flicker faintly. The water pooling on the ground reflects the surroundings like mirrors, and the streets have transformed into an utterly bizarre kaleidoscopic labyrinth.
I hold up my phone to record the scene outside the window when suddenly, a blinding flash of lightning splits the sky not far away, followed by a rolling thunder approaching from the distance, pressing closer and closer.
I can’t help but shrink my neck and set my phone down.
MC: This weather is just ridiculous… I’m sure today’s Moments posts are gonna be flooded with candid shots of the rainstorm.
LZY: A certain someone has made significant strides.
LZY: A few years back, you would get so nervous in this kind of weather that you’d grab onto other people’s clothes. Now, you'd just make a fuss about it on Moments.
MC: Huh? When did I grab onto your clothes?
I turn my head to look at him with a puzzled expression. Li Zeyan glances at me, and before he can even speak, a smile creeps onto the corners of his lips.
LZY: That time when you asked me if I dared to like you.
I freeze for a second, the familiar feeling of nervousness and anticipation surging to the forefront of my mind.
Memories flood back along with the warmth of my cheeks, as I’m reminded of a similar night in the past mirroring this raging storm.
The pitch-black darkness that descended after the power outage was so thick that one wouldn’t even be able to make out their own hand in front of them. I felt like danger, and the unknown would swallow me whole at any moment. But he was there with me, accompanying me for what felt like an eternity on that apocalyptic night.
Back then, I felt like I couldn’t handle it on my own, so I wanted to cling to a straw, to hold onto this steady and exceptionally gentle person beside me.
Snapping out of the reminiscence, I clear my throat to dispel my embarrassment.
MC: Y-You don’t need to remember such things so clearly!
MC: But come to think of it, ever since I met you, I don’t seem to have gotten rained on much.
MC: Even if I forget my umbrella or can’t catch a ride, you always manage to “scoop” me up right on time.
LZY: So, as a result, a certain someone has developed the bad habit of not checking the weather forecast before going out?
MC: …It clearly taught me the good habit of how to “scoop” people up in crucial moments!
The car stops at the intersection, waiting for the traffic light. Li Zeyan casts a glance my way, his lips curving into a smile as he strokes my head.
LZY: Given that the person “scooping” me up is also the one I want to see, it does feel pretty good.
His warm palm rests on my head for a moment before sliding down to my cheek with yearning. A small sense of satisfaction leaps in my heart, and I smile, poking his cheek.
MC: I think I can understand why the prince braves countless perils to reach the princess.
MC: For this moment right now, I’m willing to endure any hardship~
–
──────
[Tidbits]: The call-back of the apocalyptic night is from one of Li Zeyan’s earliest dates, “Doomsday Date,” where MC asks him if he’d dare to like her and if he’d dare to be by her side even if doomsday arrived – and the rest, as they say, is history, quite literally in this case ahah~ (இдஇ; )
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 3】
“Bzzz!”
As I step through the doorway and flip the switch for the pendant lamp, to my surprise, the light flickers and then abruptly goes out.
The inside of the house is instantly taken over by the dimness from outside the windows. Pudding, who was originally crouching at the door to welcome us, lets out a yelp and scurries under the table.
My mind automatically starts concocting a horror movie scenario, and I immediately step back a few paces.
MC: What did the power suddenly go out? It was perfectly fine before I left...
My words are barely out of my mouth when a series of extremely bright streaks of lightning flash outside the window.
The howling gale rattles the window frames, while the water pipes exposed to the downpour on the side of the building, pelted by large raindrops, are making peculiar noises.
The continuous flashes of lightning project the wildly swaying shadows of the trees onto the floor, making the storm outside seem even more terrifying.
Li Zeyan sighs and steps forward, taking hold of my hand that is frozen in mid-air.
LZY: Are there any spare lights or flashlights in the house?
MC: Yes, there are, in my room...
While saying this, I clutch Li Zeyan’s arm and carefully start walking towards my room. A hand reaches out and pulls me into a familiar embrace.
LZY: Wasn’t a certain someone “scooping people up” pretty amazingly just now? Why are you so nervous now that we’re home?
MC: ...I guess I’ve been overdoing it with the horror movies lately, and the after-effects are still a bit strong.
I laugh awkwardly and, relying on the dim light of the flashlight, dig out a large, bulging bag from the storage box.
MC: Rechargeable desk lamps, some decorative fairy lights, and lanterns.
MC: They should work if we plug them into the power bank.
LZY: ...That’s it?
MC: They can provide light and serve as tools to set the ambiance. Isn’t that wonderful?
Li Zeyan turns on a palm-sized rechargeable desk lamp and releases a small sigh.
LZY: In that case, the gift I brought you can also be included to make up the difference.
MC: Huh? What gift?
Li Zeyan rummages through his suitcase, takes out an exquisitely wrapped box, and gestures for me to open it.
I lean in closer and find a very charming candle holder with a glass cover nestled inside.
MC: It’s so beautiful! As expected, CEO Li’s eye for things can never go wrong.
LZY: Simultaneously doing the job of adding flowers to the brocade and delivering charcoal in snowy weather一 it definitely seems to be maximizing its value.
LZY: Come on, let’s go and light up all the lamps that we can use first.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
With me “lending a hand” by holding the flashlight through the entire process, dinner and Pudding’s salmon cake are soon prepared.
Pudding, who had been hiding in the corner this entire time, also forgets his fear under the temptation of delectable food and begins prancing around again.
After eating and drinking to our fill, I sit on the carpet with another small blanket, light a scented candle, and carefully set it in the candle holder Li Zeyan gifted me.
Li Zeyan then casually plops down at the foot of the bed where I’m leaning, naturally stretching out his arm for me to use as a pillow.
I look at Pudding grooming his fur not far away and can’t help but sigh with emotion.
MC: Time sure flies! Pudding has grown another year older. I wonder what progress he’ll make this year.
LZY: He wasn’t very brave when he was younger, but now he, too, looks after the house on his own and appears to be fairly calm and composed.
MC: Why did you use “too“? I suspect you’re insinuating something about someone else.
LZY: Just stating facts.
LZY: The way a certain someone acted when she walked into the house earlier didn’t exactly resemble the “prince“ who came to pick me up.
I glance again at the flashes of lightning and thunder rolling outside again, scratching my cheek awkwardly.
MC: The house just went dark all of a sudden; I wasn’t mentally prepared.
LZY: What about now?
LZY: Are you still scared?
I turned sideways to watch him. The dancing candlelight paints his side profile in a warm glow, and the subtle fragrance of the scented candle melds into his calm gaze, making me gradually relax.
I hug his arm and pull him into my arms, beaming a wide smile at him.
MC: I have my “fragrant princess“ in my arms now, and I fear neither getting swept by wind nor being battered by rain any longer. [3]
LZY: Are we sure about who’s in whose arms?
MC: Does it really make a difference who’s in whose arms?
Li Zeyan gives me a look that says “whatever you say,” and I smile victoriously at having my way before turning to glance at the pitch-black darkness outside the window.
The small lights in the room are mirrored on the glass, reminiscent of stars, blurring into a cluster of halos by the unrelenting rain.
Serenity and turmoil are separated by only a wall. I grasp his wrist and tilt my head, pillowing into his palm and nuzzling against it.
MC: Luckily, you came back today. Otherwise, I would have definitely dragged you into “simmering a pot of telephone congee” with me all night long. [4]
LZY: That wouldn’t have been too bad either.
MC: Well, that’s true, but it would have made me seem like I haven’t grown at all...
I raise my head and look into his slightly puzzled gaze, feeling a little embarrassed as I lower my voice.
MC: I’m clearly not a child anymore, and many of the things I used to fear shouldn’t be a big deal now.
MC: Yet when running into situations where I’m not entirely confident, I can’t help feeling a little afraid.
MC: For instance, a pitch-dark empty house, not being able to find the kitten, and a thunderstorm that I don’t know when will end.
MC: I still can’t seem to be like you, to be able to keep myself from thinking the worst regardless of the kind of situation I’m confronted with...
I soliloquize in a whispered tone, and the palm I’m resting my head on suddenly moves. I look up, and my fingers are immediately swept up in a reassuring warmth.
Li Zeyan is pillowing himself on my bolster, covered by a blanket that is clearly not big enough for him, creating for a rather comical scene. Yet, I find myself solely captivated by his extraordinarily serious gaze.
He quietly watches me like this for some time before finally opening his mouth to respond.
LZY: Then just be afraid.
MC: ...Huh?
LZY: Building courage doesn’t mean you should be absolutely fearless.
LZY: If you have no reaction to the unknown and uncontrollable, that, on the contrary, is dangerous.
LZY: For a dummy, knowing how to dodge in the right direction at a critical moment is also progress.
He strokes the back of my hand meaningfully, and I clasp his fingers even more tightly in tacit understanding.
In moments of fear and anxiety, I always want to hold onto something, to reassure myself that I’m not facing it alone.
And this man in front of me, as fortune would have it, always happens to be within my reach, catching my insecurities and leading me along slowly.
I think back to the first time I “grabbed onto” him, the gentleness in his tone that I had rarely seen, and I can’t help but laugh.
MC: Well then, it seems I’ve been making progress since the first time I grabbed onto your clothes.
LZY: Mm-hmm, it hasn’t been easy.
MC: But I can only advance a little bit at a time. I’ve kept you waiting for so long.
The corners of his lips curl up slightly, and his eyes, sparkling with a smile, gently embrace me.
LZY: This isn’t work; nobody is asking anything from you.
LZY: If you’re afraid, just light up a lamp.
–
──────
[Tidbits]
[3] LI ZEYAN WRITERS!!! CRIES AT THE SACRIFICE I HAD TO MAKE AND HOW THE BEAUTY OF THE WORDPLAY JUST GETS LOST IN TRANSLATION HERE 😭 anywho, as you might’ve already noticed, “rescuing the sleeping princess“ theme and the “seeming“ role reversal has been one of the running themes of this date. The term used here is 软香 (lit. meaning soft fragrance), which is usually used to refer to the delicate scent of a woman or a woman in general and, in the context of the times, a palace beauty. The full term MC uses here is 软香在怀 (lit. meaning having ‘soft fragrance’ in one’s arms), which also conveys a deep emotional closeness, a sense of security and comfort as scent is something very sensitive. What the writing does here is kill three birds with one stone— (i) conveying MC’s “prince and princess role reversal“ quip, while also delivering the emotions of the candlelight monologue two sentences prior, i.e., (ii) the fragrance melding into his calm gaze, the vivid imagery of her sensitivity to his presence itself, (iii) the reassuring effect of his being.
[4] I’m gonna cry; this is such an adorable expression haha 😭 the term MC uses here is “煲电话粥,” which really does mean “simmering telephone congee.” The idea of it is to have a marathon phone call with sb, but it’s more intimate— similar to how simmering sth can take a long time and porridge essentially is a comfort food 😂
–
•─────⋅◍♡◍⋅─────•
【Chapter 4】
The night is dark, and the rain seems to have weakened a bit. I hug the blanket and squeeze onto the small bed with Li Zeyan. No matter in which position we lay down, most of our bodies are pressed against each other.
I watch the person beside me becoming a part of the scene I’ve been familiar with since my childhood days, and for a long time, I find myself unwilling to close my eyes.
MC: It feels so surreal to have you and Pudding together at my place.
MC: It’s like having guests at home, but at the same time, it feels like welcoming new members to the family.
LZY: So, which one do you hope I am?
MC: I’ve long regarded you as the latter in my heart, obviously.
MC: However, this situation makes me seem like I’m not being a gracious host...
MC: Having to deal with the bad weather is one thing, but who knew the electricity in the house would be unstable at a critical moment, and now my bed isn’t big enough either.
I look up at the small pink pillow under Li Zeyan’s head and sigh softly. Li Zeyan, however, just smiles calmly and brushes aside the hair falling over my face.
MC: Be careful when you roll over. If you’re afraid of falling off, just hug me a little tighter~
LZY: [i’m cRY at how he just plays along with you haha] It’s certainly something to be afraid of.
Li Zeyan says this as he gets up to turn off the lights, and the room is plunged into darkness once again.
I reach out my arms towards him and am immediately swept back into his arms.
MC: Thank you, CEO Li~ How about I repay you with a goodnight kiss?
LZY: That’s it?
MC: Then what else do you want?
I blink my eyes at him, and suddenly, he lifts his hand to cover my sight.
A soft warmth captures my lips, swallowing my confusion.
He holds me too tightly in the square of his arms, and his broad palm accidentally presses on my nose, causing my already erratic breathing to become even more difficult to maintain.
I punch him indignantly, and Li Zeyan finally moves his hand away, his fingers cradling my face.
LZY: Didn’t you say you wanted to repay me?
MC: T-This isn’t what I had in mind!
LZY: Is this not good?
His warm finger pads caress the side of my face in a back-and-forth motion, leaving me with no refuge to escape but to gaze into his smiling eyes.
LZY: Instead of letting your imagination run wild every time you’re scared, why not think about something that can put your mind at ease?
LZY: For example, me.
LZY: So, consider this as collecting a tip in advance to cover your memories.
A soft chuckle drifts from above me, and he lifts my face again. With the last hint of light also overlaid, I close my eyes, welcoming this novel memory pertaining to the night’s darkness.
┈┈┈┈┈┈ ✄ ┈┈┈┈┈┈
The next morning, the sky finally clears up.
The entire city looks as if it has taken a bath. Under the early morning sunlight, there are glittering lights refracted by water droplets everywhere.
I summon every bit of my self-control and more to extract myself from Li Zeyan’s warm embrace and rise early to make breakfast.
Originally, I planned to have him take the day off and recover from jet lag, but as soon as he gets out of bed, he receives a call from LFG, saying there is an urgent matter that needs to be dealt with in person.
I watch as a certain someone at the dining table finishes his breakfast with a sullen look on his face and can’t help but burst into laughter.
MC: Who knew even CEO Li could show such a “rebellious” expression about having to work overtime.
LZY: ...It’s just that I haven’t gotten over the jet lag yet.
MC: Who told you not to sleep obediently last night?
I stand up with a laugh before he can glare at me and push his suitcase to the door for him. Li Zeyan dons his coat, seems to hesitate for a moment, and then turns back to look at me.
MC: What’s wrong?
LZY: Nothing.
MC: It doesn’t seem like you’ve left anything behind, have you?
I look around to check while speaking, but I realize that Li Zeyan has kept his gaze trained on me, with no intention of searching for anything.
I blink my eyes, and an adorable guess bubbles up in my heart.
MC: Could it be that... CEO Li is unwilling to leave?
Li Zeyan grips the handle of the suitcase, averts his eyes, and smiles.
LZY: Let Pudding stay at your place for one more day.
MC: No worries, we’ll get along perfectly.
He doesn’t give a direct answer to my question, so I take it as his tacit assent and continue along with his words.
LZY: He ate quite a lot last night, so feed him less cat food today.
MC: Understood~
LZY: Be careful with the electricity today, and if you run into any issues, reach out to me right away.
MC: Uh-huh, anything else you want to remind me of?
I stare at him, smiling giddily. Li Zeyan opens his mouth, but in the end, he just displays a helpless expression and says nothing.
The rare instance of not being able to find the words to say, the rare moments of being dumbstruck and not knowing how to reply, the rare scenario of dragging his feet about going to work...
All of this shows that he is really unwilling to leave.
I smile even happier and tiptoe up to lock my arms around his neck.
Li Zeyan seems a bit puzzled, but he promptly supports my waist and arches an eyebrow, waiting for me to continue.
MC: Hehe, consider this as a tip you’re paying in advance.
MC: This way, whenever you feel overwhelmed in the future, you will think of only me.
I mimic his words from last night, and even reach up to muss his hair.
LZY: Little copycat.
Li Zeyan seems to want to resist this “childish” act subconsciously, but his arms betray his honest feelings and draw me in even tighter.
He looks at me with a silly smile on my face, about to say something when I suddenly feel a tickle on my ankle, as if something furry is rubbing against it.
Just as I’m about to look down, my face is pinched by someone.
I’m compelled to raise my head and see the sunlight falling on Li Zeyan.
The locks of hair hanging over his forehead and eyelashes are all bathed in dazzling, golden-bright luster. He reminds one of a big cat who has just woken up, making people irresistibly want to get closer to him.
And he does exactly as I wished, taking the initiative to bring this warmth to me.
The distance between us is reduced to zero, and I naturally close my eyes, welcoming this kiss infused with the warmth of the sunlight.
Even if a person grows accustomed to the humidity of this city, they will still rejoice when the sky clears and the sunshine beams down.
Even for those who can see the person they love every day and kiss them whenever they want, they will still find that any small separation feels too long.
The meow of the kitten rises from our feet, as if it also wants to participate in this wordless goodbye. I gently bite Li Zeyan’s lips, and he, rather reluctantly, pulls back just a bit.
MC: Mr. Customer, you’re being too generous with your tip.
With his eyes cast down, he continues to gaze at me, his breath still lingering at the edge of my lips.
LZY: Because I’ve already fulfilled the conditions you set.
LZY: Now that I’ve paid double the tip, I’m asking for an upgrade on the terms.
He raises an eyebrow, as if he is genuinely negotiating with me.
At such proximity, my mind is already a muddled mess, yet I still manage to capture the answer he desires from the look of yearning in his eyes.
I strive to muster my willpower, rise on tiptoe, and kiss his lips again.
MC: Then you must work diligently and clock out early...
MC: And who knows, perhaps I’ll suddenly appear when you’re missing me?
──────────────────────────────────────────
#i'm just laughing at how paper thought- “hey you know we haven't shown the heroine's place in Li Zeyan's dating verse since December 2021–#– let's acknowledge it still exISTs i guess” LMAO 😂#i actually love how the date mentions MC's old apartment is special to her b/c it holds memories of her childhood- 🥺#also all the nods to why the thunderstorm actually makes MC jittery still. THE LIGHTNING INCIDENT & REASON FOR THEIR CHILDHOOD SEPARATION😭#all the callbacks!! A DOING THE DEED SCENE IN A SR DATE!! POUTY LI ZEYAN. OWH TO GET TO LIVE THE DAY WHEN LI ZEYAN DOESN'T WANT TO WORK 😂#OOFF SO MUCH COMFORT AND WARMTH!! i'll prolly just make a thread on twitter later to talk about the details i wanna talk about haha#also BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY PUDDING BBY!! 🥳 you really do have the best parents in the world haha 💗#mlqc victor#mlqc li zeyan#mlqc#mr love victor#mr love queen's choice#恋与制作人#李泽言#love and producer#mlqc cn#mlqc spoilers#mlqc translations#Youtube
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Eddie wants to start dating, knows he has to make an impression and maybe sort out his bedraggled mess of bird's nest hair so uses some of his monthly pay to go to one of the nice salons in town, only to find the head stylist is homecoming king and Hawkins royalty Steve Harrington. Who of course is as gorgeous as he remembers, with tight jeans and buttery caramel highlights in his beautifully rumpled wave of hair.
He expects Steve to be like he was in high school, cruel and a little aloof, but he's actually nice to him, reassures Eddie that no, he won't cut all his hair off but he will get it a little more under control. Looks mildly horrified when Eddie says he's been cutting his own hair with kitchen scissors for years. He washes Eddie's hair for him first and gives him a complimentary head message ("the best bit, right?" he says with a wink) and Eddie's so touch-starved that between the incredible feeling of Steve's fingers in his hair (soft but firm, fingernails dragging across his scalp) and how every now and then he'll tell Eddie how "good" he's being, he breaks out in goosebumps and his leg starts trembling.
#steddie#just thought of this as i went to get my hair cut fhdhdh#eddie's like a wild jittery dog being soothed
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in a happier universe, peter's main concern right now would be trying not to seem like a complete loser in front of the avengers, he throws whatever object is closest at tony when he mentions peters (limited edition) lego sets, tries to watch the news whenever someone is around, and pretends he has no interest in the new star wars when he’s at the tower.
it takes him a few months but he slowly realizes that the avengers might be even worse than he is, he catches bucky wandering around eating dry cereal out of the box and chugging a glass of milk moments after, tony has hyper fixated on gravity falls and somehow dragged both peter and wanda into it, steve and sam have well over a hundred hours on the sims, and movie night has turned into a roblox fashion famous competition ( natasha and bruce keep winning. )
they get less and less intimidating over time and peter feels more and more comfortable around them.
#this is not proof read i am so jittery ignore all mistakes#this is literally the most out of character thing i’ve ever thought of#ur telling me tony wouldn’t want to figure out wtf is going on with bill?#i just think they all are losers#the fashion famous thing is in character i will die here#ooc post#marvel mcu#peter parker#spider man#spiderman#tony stark#peter parker and tony stark#found family#the avengers#black widow#natasha romanoff#steve rogers#captain america#sam wilson#wanda maximoff#bruce banner#thor odinson
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Sometimes, you drink one coffee because you enjoy the flavor and forget that it sends you to the anxiety shadow realm
#on a day when most of my work involves sitting still and waiting for progress bars no less#i have listened to about half of an audiobook in some sort of jittery fugue state while waiting for various processes to finish#nickel for my thoughts
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hate it when anxiety manifests itself in the physical form
#fuck you anxiety#why the fuck am i fainting in the library#and being jittery since morning#and can't keep anything in my stomach for more than an hour#can't even eat mishti doi 😭😭😭#anxiety struggles#anxiety memes#anxiety disorder#desi tumblr#desiblr#desi shit posting#random#indian tumblr#chaotic academic aesthetic#desi chaotic academia#anxitey#chaotic academia#chaotic thoughts#chaos#chaoscore
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heeheehehe that's the most kills i've gotten on mch now..... that was a very fun and chaotic close match too (we won tho YIPPEEE)
#this had me soooo excited that i was a little jittery for like 10mins LOL i never thought i'd get almost 20 kills......#god. i love frontlines. but what's new!!!!!!#i think the most i've gotten before was 14 or maybe 15? not a HUGE difference but higher number makes brain go brrrrrr
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#just realized im jumpy and cheery when im around people to the point where i could come off as a kind of emotional person#but like. most of it is just masking? like most of the time its just my trained response to what i think is a social cue#and trying to figure out tone based on how people talk. so i tend to add an excessively positive tone so that i don't come across as mean#but like. my natural self is a lot more subdued.#of course there are highs and lows and a lot of the time im just zoning out and forgetting anything or anyone exists#and usually when i am hyperactive it's less the stereotypical adhd jumpiness and more... anger and frustration#i get jittery and idk what im talking about and it's not. fun.#and because i feel like it takes this additional work to kind of... be around people i tend to really enjoy my time alone#and i also. kind of suck at making friends irl. i just cannot approach people first#anyway idrk where this was going but being on tumblr all these years n especially now that i have such wonderful friends here im realizing#that im actually not as introverted as i thought. im just discouraged at the thought of having to decipher shit out with people#im truly a yapper at heart xD#but im also not as overwhelmingly positive as i seem#i just want people to know i love them. even if i really do overcompensate to show it#yeah. some self awareness stuff ig#megumi in the tags
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I just listened to the White Night VA cover and I am officially dead holy sH-
Kicking my feet, rolling around on the floor, screaming, crying, throwing up
Cheryl Taxiera’s singing has enlightened me to the truths of the universe
And Cia! And Ama! And Allegra! And CyYu! And FUCK they were all so good!!
Sinking my teeth into Kaf’s singing though this is gonna keep me on cloud nine for the next month as I endlessly repeat the part
#dont get me STARTED on corey oh my gosh#im so jittery with joy holy shit#cheryl taxiera belting out the notes gives me life#and here i thought i was done replaying white night on loop#honkai star rail#magnolia talks
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so. i had my english exam.
I FUCKING READ THE EXTRA TIME END TIME RATHER THAN MY CORRECT END TIME AND I THOUGHT I HAD 40 MINUTES BUT I HAD 5 MINUTES AND THEN THE INVIGILATOR SAID I HAD 5 MINUTES AND I FUCKING JUMPED OUT OF MY SEAT AND I SOMEHOW WROTE AN ENTIRE TWO QUESTIONS WITH A TOTAL FIVE (5) PARAGRAPHS IN THAT TIME AND WHEN THEY SAID PUT YOUR PENS DOWN I BURST INTO TEARS
FUCK MY LIFE
#my paragraphs were moderately decent actually bc i’d been planning them so i had good ideas#in addition there was a whole palaver because the invigilator thought my earplugs were dodgy which stressed me out earlier on in the exam#and i was late because there was an accident. i wasn’t late late but i was almost latr. so i was already jittery#somehow i think my essays were respectable? my aic essay was okay and my kamikaze / poppies essay was so good#idek how my unseen poetry was i didn’t have time to reread one word of that 😭#english lit gcse#english lit paper 2#gcse
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(( also got this cute lil bun in the fridge that i bought because it was named 'little coffee friend' but when i had one it made my piss smell like coffee FOR HALF THE DAY so now i doubt the legitimacy of this friendliness
#[ out of circuits ]#((nothing to do with roleplaying i just want to let yall know abt little coffee friend#is this tmi??? i jist thought it was funny#also made me feel more jittery but that could be because i was running on like less than 2 hrs sleep
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just removed my ex friends on everything
#this is crazy#i feel jittery and scared but#free#woah man#micetalk#i never thought id leave i thought id torture myself forever but#no im out.#im out.#jesus
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got to excited i need to jump up and down or I'll explode
#omg kiera no one cares#talked about horses thought about the beatles saw my homestuck beatle edits now I'm too jittery
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can finally rest easy knowing it will be here soon…….months of waiting finally put to work…..
#crow thoughts#A GOOD START TO THE MONTH#actually getting way too jittery about this#FINALLY HE WILL ARIVW!!!!!!
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In case you guys haven’t noticed, I am very bad at sticking to just one project at a time.
Just wanted to give a preview and let y’all know that I am working on stuff. It’s just taking a while and college has started up for me. Stuff is gonna be spotty for a while.
#fanfic writing#my wips#fanfiction#niki nihachu#technoblade#hermitcraft#tpp juno#I do write for fun#This is my fun#I just also like sharing it with people and that means#I get a bit jittery when my writing for fun gets neglected by myself#And then I start having the bad thoughts#So this is more for my benefit than anything else#vespa ilkay#buddy aurinko
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I was at the neurologist and they were flashing lights at me while measuring my brain activity and I started ticcing so bad I think I snapped something in my neck
#owwiee#omw home i tried so hard not to pass out or throw up from the migraine#all while i was jittery as hell#eugh#like I thought my tics were annoying enough already#whatever this was???? bad awful#only good side is that none of the tics were verbal#I would've died of shame then
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