#jim pickens x grim reaper x agner

[justanotherboringwriter]

||TWO undead lovers :3||

Summary; after a few years and a whole lotta mur–Er, deaths that coincidentally followed Jim like an annoying mosquito (Totally not his fault)–Jim Pickens meets an old flame and introduces him to his new husband and they’re all happy. And in love. And weird.

A/N; I’ve been watching CallMeKevin vids for like 2 days and I honestly adore the Jim Pickens storyline, especially the romance between Jim and Agner and Jim and Grim so why not just make them polyamorous? Yet another win for our dear leader Jim Pickens!

Wordcount; 1,021

Jim finished settling a grave down, standing back and admiring the few graves beside his stand. He looked to the small oven and walked over, sliding the tray out and settling the pizza in a box beside two other pizza’s, waiting for more customers as he adjusted the four plates of Pufferfish Nigiri. He sang ‘Country Roads’ to himself, thinking of checking on his farm soon.

He hoped Kevin wasn’t busy doing something dumb again. Or that Santa had been pecked to death by that evil chicken but what’s the point of having an evil chicken other than having it randomly kill people? He heard a drawn out groan and looked over, a bright, psychotic smile overcoming his face as he was greeted with the sight of one of his many lovers. “Agner!” He said enthusiastically. Agner let out another long groan, looking tired and slightly annoyed.

Jim rushed around the stand, jumping into Agner’s arms, wrapping his arms around the zombie’s neck. “I missed you sooo much, honey!” He said, kissing his cold cheek as Agner held him up, leaning into the kiss. “You’ve missed out on so much–Being dead must take up a lot of time, hm? But that doesn’t matter anymore because now, we’re finally together again!” He added as he was settled on his feet. “C’mon, I have someone I want you to meet!”

After a while, they arrived at a bunker. “I hope you don’t mind the mess..I live with a few people and it’s pretty hard to keep up good looks when there’s four adults, a teen, a child, and a dog in your bunker. You can stay in my room!” Jim chuckled awkwardly, pushing open the door to the bunker and shutting it behind Agner. “You first.” He said flirtatiously and watched as the zombie slowly made his way down into the bunker, followed quickly by Jim. Jim took his hand again, “You wouldn’t mind a polyamorous relationship, right?–It’s when there’s more than two people in a committed relationship. Things got a bit..intimate while you were gone. And I have a teenage alien son.” He sighed, leading Agner through the bunker and to his own bedroom.

“Stop barking!” Jim yelled angrily at Scobay Du who was barking while running in a circle, chasing his tail. Agner raised a brow but didn't speak, continuing to be led along. Jim pushed open the door to his bedroom, “This is the best place in the bunker! Only for you, me, and Grim!” He said proudly. “Oh, you don’t know Grim, do you?–No, wait, you do. He’s the Grim Reaper. And he took you when you died. Then when you died as a zombie.” He added, sighing and looking off.

Grim, laying in bed sleeping, woke up. “What are you yelling about now, darling?” He asked groggily as he sat up, rubbing his always tired eyes, annoyed at being woken up by his insane husband’s rambling. “Hi, baby. You remember Agner, right?..” Jim replied awkwardly, motioning to Agner as Grim threw the covers off his legs, walking to Jim and taking his hands, leading him aside. “Jim, darling, listen, I love you–It’s the reason I proposed to and married you, but you really can’t keep doing this stuff. I know you’re the leader of The 15th Street gang and you’ve dealt drugs but I’m convinced you still have some of your stash and are doing it every 4 hours. Be honest with me, is it the cocaine or are you naturally like this?” He whispered.

“I still have my stash but I’m not doing it! I may have dealt it, but I never actually snorted any of the coke, okay?” Jim huffed.

“I’m just naturally like this, baby. Did you not realize I had a few screws loose? I thought this was part of my charm! People love being a little crazy, don’t they? I mean, why else would everybody always be so interested in me?” He added, pulling Grim close and wrapping an arm around his waist and giving him a brief kiss on the lips. “It was but also, you’re a damn mermaid. People can’t really resist the allure of an ethereal voice and otherworldly beauty. Plus Southern charm..” Grim muttered. “But that’s not the point; you have to discuss things such as polyamory with me before you drag home your undead boyfriend. It’s just something that makes me uncomfortable, alright? I have no issue with it but talk to me about it first, okay?” Grim held Jim’s free hand, pressing featherlight kisses to the skin of his calloused knuckles.

“Good to know. I assume that’s a yes?” Jim responded, enjoying the affection. “Yes, it is.” Grim replied. “And next time you come into our room, don’t immediately start with the schizophrenic rambling, alright? Pretty rude way to wake me up, darling.” Grim gave Jim a kiss which the mermaid leaned into, kissing him back and smiling against his lips. “Alright! So, Agner.” Jim looked to the zombie as he was inspecting a picture on a nightstand.

It was of Jim and Grim’s wedding with Grim in a white suit and Jim in a wedding dress, Grim holding the man up bridal style as rice was thrown on them from cheering bystanders while Jim was smiling brightly and Grim had a slight, calm smile on his lips. Agner lifted up the framed picture, looking at it even closer, stoic. “Don’t worry about that, Agner. You’re our boyfriend now. How about we go to bed?” Jim tilted his head, taking Grim’s hands and leading him into bed, kicking off his shoes. Agner settled the picture down and nodded, getting under the covers with the two other men and cuddling against Jim. Grim sighed and also cuddled against Jim.

“And when you wake up, don’t be loud.” Grim muttered to Jim. “I won’t! I promise. Pinky promise.” His husband replied. Grim gave Jim a kiss on the cheek, “Good. And, I know you won’t be loud either.” Grim reached over and gave Agner a kiss before laying back down, closing his eyes and relaxing.