#jesus i always forgot the green shark's name

[theondnonly]

also Sebastian as me!!!! :33 (ft, my friend lol)

since the last post blew up, i shouls post more doodles of this fishboy, also feel free to give me requests of him, I'm dying to draw more but have literally no ideas (/nf also this is all fun and game for the both of us!!! So don't be upset if I didn't take your request I probably didn't feel like drawing it LMAO)

[wevegottogetaway]

I love you

First I love yous...do I need to say more? Anyway, please don’t hesitate to reach out for anything, whether that be comments, requests, feedback or just to have a chat! Happy reading xx

It’s been three days of utter pandemonium ripping through your brain in complete disarray. Three days of pent up stress storming through your mind as you ran like a headless chicken to try and find a handle on a situation that frankly, you didn’t give a rat’s ass about.

It all started when your boss had called you in his office, his signature tyrant-resting face on, solid frown drafting his features in a look of severity. Well, this can’t be good, you’d immediately thought once you took a hesitant seat across his desk. You’d hoped for a benign reason behind the sudden meeting, and that the scowl on his face was merely a residual of some other trouble that had absolutely nothing to do with you.

Your prayers had fallen on deaf ears however, as the summoning proved to be a twenty minutes angry diatribe about how one of your most recent client had expressed their wish to withdraw from their deal and de facto, the company. Though it hadn’t been your fault per se, your boss didn’t have any reservations about reminding you of your supposed responsibility to keep your clients sated and on the company’s leash. He’d given you three days to fix it after that. Three days to persuade the client not to pull out of the deal, or you risked some serious downgrading if not redundancy.  

You’d called Harry for support the minute you got home and spent the whole evening brainstorming the craziest ideas to him. He’d listened patiently, holding your hand on the table as you both indulged in the Thai take-out he’d picked up on his way over. That first night, you’d barely slept as you laid in his strong arms, back to his chest. Your reeling mind had still been trying to conjure up any sort of plan that would help you out of this chaos; but for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, your hopes had dwindled some.

You hadn’t known then, but Harry couldn’t find rest either as he spooned you against him. You two hadn’t been dating long, several months at best, but already your distress was unbearable to him and every bone in his body ached to do something to help you. This feeling of powerlessness was crawling out of his skin and swimming around like a shark amidst his prevalent thoughts of support, admiration and love. Because, while he’d shown you the first and conveyed the second countless times in the past, the third had yet to tumble out of his lips, despite the confession burning their flesh a bit stronger every day.

What really had had his mind reeling though, was knowing that maybe, just maybe, he had the power to make this situation go away; and for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, his hopes grew some.

Your earlier utterance of the client’s name had been ringing through his mind in faint recognition, an itch starting to fester at his fingertips. Dialing a phone number was all it could take. A couple choice words and if he played his cards right, the deal would be back on the table. He’d known interfering was arguably a bad idea, and truthfully he’d always made a point of honor not to use his connections to serve ulterior motives (his or anyone else’s), but how was he supposed to do nothing when the person that caused you trouble was in fact a friend of a friend that might reevaluate their stance if he pitched in with a bit of charm and compelling words? How was he supposed to stay idle, watch you dissolve in an anxious mess, if he wasn’t as powerless as he thought?

So he didn’t. 

He’d originally planned on keeping you in the loop, but you’d been gone by the time his forest green eyes had fluttered back to consciousness the next morning. After a quick shower, a large mug of the coffee you’d left for him before running back to work, and locking your apartment with the spare key you’d given him a couple weeks back, he’d pulled out his phone. Two minutes was all it took for his friend to pass him your client’s number and without hesitation, he’d launched the call and brought his phone to his ear.

It took a bit longer than a couple of minutes for that conversation to take effect, but eventually his words hit their target. After all, his lovely nature could pierce through the most robust walls and stubborn minds. He didn’t even have to put on the charm that much, instead drawing earnest sentiments about your impeccable skills and rambling about how there was no better person to keep their account safe in the business. He’d gnawed at his lips the whole time, desperate to pull through but still scared to fail you somehow. You’d already been let down by the client and your boss, you certainly didn’t need your boyfriend added to the list.

The call had ended with their promise to reassess and consider your undeniable abilities in the equation, yet the next day you were once again convoked to your boss’ office with a snarly bark of your name. Puzzlement washed over you as you speed-walked after him. Why was he still so resentful with you when you’d gotten the client to reenter the contract?

Another twenty minutes of intense scolding provided you with that answer. With a disdainful gaze puncturing your poise, your boss told you that while your job was no longer on the line, you’d been given a firm warning about using your boyfriend as negotiator for the company’s dealings.

How he knew when you yourself weren’t aware of the fact, you didn’t know. In retrospect, your talk with the client had been suspiciously easy for someone who’d made their will to ditch the company crystal clear. You’d merely laid out your arguments, expecting resistance and some pushing, but were only met with a squinted look and cautious acceptance. Now you know your case had already been pleaded once, by the man who was taking more and more space for himself inside the chambers of your heart.

You didn’t quite know how to feel about it; didn’t know if you should be mad or grateful. You were specifically stunned because you knew it was out of character for Harry. Your boyfriend was the most generous being you’d ever met, but humility was even more so a prevailing layer of his beautiful nature. You certainly didn’t expect it, didn’t wish for it to happen again because you were always adamant not to ever use anyone for their assets. Yet there was a tingling, a mixture of discomfort and gratefulness, sloshing in the pit of your stomach. 

This whole thing was a mind-fuckery of emotions you were too tired to process.

What you did feel though, was the pure frustration at your boss’ hypocrisy. You both knew he didn’t really care how you’d gotten the deal back, just that you did, but his intolerable disposition wouldn’t allow him to applaud your efforts and move on.

Wanting to put this all mess behind you, you bit back the retorts that you craved to force down his throat, simply nodded through his chastising charade, and leaped to your feet as soon as the dismissing words left his stupid trap.

Now that you’re making your way inside your home, your nose is hit by a waft of delicious aromas traveling from the kitchen. Your mind is still fuzzy with every trouble and startling revelation that transpired in the past three days, but as your eyes settle on your apron-clad boyfriend, you take a moment to appreciate the sight of his soft figure stirring the content of what must be a pan on the gas. His back is facing you, but you can hear the gentle humming under his breath, as he hasn’t registered your arrival yet.

After another minute of whistling, he finally twists around and his eyes almost pop out of their socket when they find your timid stance a couple feet away. "Jesus, pet, didn’t know you were home yet," he chuckles softly before taking in your somewhat moony features. Your expression is hard to pinpoint, your delicate traits blank of any emotions yet your eyes have the same sparkle that greets him every morning and every night when he pulls you for a deep kiss in his warm embrace. "Everythin’ okay, love?"

The query snaps you out of your semblance of trance, your head looking down to the floor to gather your wits before you level your gaze back to his. "Yeah it is. Umm, my boss called me in again today," your bite your lip, not knowing how to navigate the conversation. In all honesty, you just want to be done with the whole thing, would rather spend an evening full of cuddles and potentially mind-blowing sex, but you know this ought to be acknowledged.

"Oh," his brows pull together with the same confusion you’d experienced when your boss ushered you to his office. "Did he thank you for the big save?"

"Not exactly," you clear your throat bracing yourself and Harry’s face tenses at the realization about where this is going. "My job is safe and I’m still working on the account," hie loosens up in relief, but your next words have him stiffen right back up in alarm. "But I got a warning for a certain someone’s involvement in the company’s operations. Apparently, my boyfriend called the client on my behalf and forgot to clue me in…"

Your voice is calm and doesn’t carry any reproachful tone, but Harry’s pulse is suddenly speeding with dread regardless. The fact that he could have lost you your jobs is the only thing registering in his frenzied mind, as he sets the dish towel from his shoulder down on the counter and steps closer to you. His eyes are bouncing off yours in a frantic back and forth, as he gulps his remorse down. Before you can appease him with reassuring words, and show your lack of anger, he launches in an apologetic rant, enclosing both your hands between his palms.

"M’so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to put you in a bad position. Fuck I just- I kept thinkin’ I could help since your client was a friend of a friend. And, the more I thought about it, the more I kept thinking 'I can’t do nothin’. Cause I hate seein’ you in pain an’ I really want to be here fo’ you and I know this was probably the wrong way to go about it, but damn y/n, I couldn’t stand doin’ nothing, m’sorry-"

"I love you."

The words come fast but distinct, airy but firm, not an ounce of doubt laced through their utterance. An eerie silence permeate the small space surrounding them, as Harry tries to find his own words back. It took three of them to steal all of his, but in his defense they were the ones he’d been dying to hear and to deliver himself. His eyes are wide, blinking in total surprise. He’d expected irritation, disappointment perhaps, maybe even anger, but definitely not the sweetest words he’s been keeping at the forefront of his mind. "I- you do?"

You still have that wondrous look on your face, but this time a bright smile enlivens your features, "I really do." You take your hands out of his grip to hold onto his wrists and pull him closer to you. You have to look up since he towers over you but you’ve always liked that about your relationship; the way he always seems to dwarf you in his embraces, whether because of his height or his bear-paw hands. "I mean, don’t that again," you let out a soft laugh, "but I know why you did it, and I love you for it." 

Harry smiles rivals your own now, as your hands smooth up his arms to clasp at the nape of his neck, "plus, my boss is a jerk anyway so, who cares?" You pull him in a loving kiss then and his arms wrap themselves around your shoulders in a tight lock. His lips are as soft as ever between your own, and you detect the faintest taste of pepper and other exotic herbs lingering on their edge, from his cooking endeavors. He’s always been one to have a taste or two while he’s working, whether that be in the kitchen or other rooms…and regardless, you always like it when you get your share from his supple lips.

He feels slightly distracted against your mouth though, his technique not as ravishing as it usually is. and before you can wonder why, he’s pulling an inch away from your swollen lips, hurriedly whispering your tender confession back to you as though the words couldn’t be out of his mouth and into your heart fast enough, "I love you too, pet. So much." His hands are cajoling your face, thumbs drawing soothing circles across your cheeks, and his beaming smile is melting your heart in a goo of pleasure after all the strain it suffered in the past couple of days.

"Fuck, c’mere, don’t ever wanna stop kissing you," Harry mutters against your lips before diving in for a real mind-bending, soul-shaking, tantalizing kiss this time. Just like that, all your worries and sorrow evaporate into thin air, only to be replaced by an intoxicating pink loving brume. You two definitely spend the most perfect evening with lots of cuddles and endless mind-blowing lovemaking. Screw everything else.

➪ Masterlist

[cowandcalf]

Writer’s Month 2020 - To Find A Way

Prompt No.1 – Tattoo Artist/Flower Shop AU

Flower shop au

"Ma, that's the third time you're calling! I won't arrive sooner, I'm on my way. On my way. Stop telling me to bring flowers for Aunt Christine. I have them, okay?" Danny's patience walks on thin ice. "I'm not demented and I feel kind of offended, you know? I'm a grown man." Danny pouts a little. His mother has a way of making him feel like the little boy he once was, day-dreaming with the tendency to be invested so deeply in his play that he forgot about the world.

"Daniel, I know my boy, okay? I know how work consumes you and I know you forget things. Flowers are not on top of the list of a detective. Don't make me ask Chin to save the day. Please, bring flowers and don't be too late." His mom's voice has a sweetness to it and Danny caves. She knows how she can twist him around her little finger. He can never be angry for too long if at all. "I promise, Ma. I haven't forgotten the flowers but I'll be an hour late. Work, Ma, yeah - I gotta go, uh-huh, yeah, bye Ma! Bye!" Danny makes kissing sounds and hangs up on her.

Shit. Flowers. Damn. Of course, he has deleted that task. The green stuff has dropped off his list between his first coffee and Chin's call about the body with no arms who’s terrified the tourists. The chief has been scared up with the rumor of a shark attack at the beach. He's had so many other important things to do. God. He can't show up empty-handed and he owes Chin already.

Connections are everything. He dials the number for emergency cases like this. "Kamekona, man, how are you?" He laughs.

His friend tsks him with this didactic tone the one Danny can't stand. "You need my service, brah, I can smell it. It'll cost you. You have to bring guests for lunch for seven days."

"You don't even know what I need!" Danny shouts with ruffled feathers.

"I know it's important to you and you gonna tell me what it is and I know I'll have less than twenty minutes to organize it. So, spit it out, hoaloha."

Danny feels Kame's smugness through his cell. "I need flowers, any flowers and I need them now. I'm on my way to a family gathering and I forgot the damn flowers. My mom’s going to kill me. I need something, anything on my way. ETA is fifteen minutes and I can't turn around. Any ideas? Let's make happen."

There's a pause at the other end. Danny hears Kamekona grunt and grumble. "There's one guy but, uh, you can't just walk into his shop."

"What? Who's that guy? He has a shop but I can't just walk in and buy stuff? Does he have flowers?"

"Kinda – "

"Kame! Don't drive me crazy. Are you my man or are you not?" Danny screams into his cell. Kamekona is always unperturbed by his shouting and that makes him want to yell into his phone even more.

"Give me ten minutes. I need to call him. He hates strangers. He won't let you pass. He needs my word you're a good guy."

"You're fucking kidding me, aren't you, Kame? Flowers, the guy sells flowers. God, why do I even ask, huh?" Danny scoffs and hits the wheel with his palm.

"You want flowers? You do as I say!" Kamekona's voice has changed. Danny jerks a bit with the seriousness in his tone. "He needs to know you're coming. Knock three times, have cash ready, and lose your badge and your gun. No questions."

"Jesus. Okayyy. Whatever. The main thing is to get the damn flowers." Danny gives in. “This guy has some serious issues, dude. Just sayin’”.

"His name is Steve, Steve McGarrett. He doesn't talk much. I'll make sure he's ready for you."

"Thanks, dude. I ow you. Yeah, yeah. I'll bring Chin and Kono for lunch." Danny hangs up and shakes his head. Good Gracious! He's sure he'll meet an incarnation of a hippie, chanting scary mantras and feeling utterly disturbed by the vibes of violence Danny's going to carry into his sacred space.

But he doens’t care. He’s good. He's safe. His mom won't be disappointed. His mood lifts. He's going to get his flowers. But he also sweats. His AC has given up on him this morning and he drives with open windows. He can bring his silver baby into the workshop only tomorrow.

The wind drives its fingers through Danny's hair. He turns the volume up and taps the rhythm of his favorite Bon Jovi song on the steering wheel. When the refrain blares through the speakers Danny sings along at the top of his voice 'lay your hands on me'. He performs a mean headshake and fist bumps the air 'lay your hands on me'.

He's ready for this Steve McGarrett.

Two hours later his mom still glows. Aunt Christine's smile makes the entire family happy. Normally she's grumpy and seriously hard to satisfy but Danny has achieved the impossible.

"Danny," his mom catches him alone in the kitchen, "tell me again how you've found a 'Torch Ginger'? I've never heard of that flower before. I thought you bring a nice bouquet. I'm so proud of you. You've made her very happy. Have you seen the intense red of the petals? Its incredible beauty?"

Danny kisses her cheek. "I'm happy you're happy. I have connections and yes, it’s a special kind of flower."

"Can you take me to this flower shop? I would love to get one of those bright red and magical looking plants, too." Ma Williams's soft laugh makes Danny hug her for a moment.

"I see what I can do, okay?"

Danny watches his mother walk out of the kitchen. He stares down at the tea towel but all he sees are the greenish eyes with the haunted look. Steve – Steve McGarrett. He recognizes a war veteran when he sees one.

Danny sighs and leans against the fridge. Kamekona's going to answer some important questions. A hippie, my ass. Danny feels slightly electrocuted by feelings and by the good looks of this hunk. The after-image that shows when he closes his eyes as if he has looked into a too-bright light bulb is the one of strained, corded muscles under inked skin.

TBC

Chapter 2

Also on AO3 - To Find A Way

[alabasterstoned]

Tagged by: @aestheticslyrics 🌟

nicknames: Char, Charlemagne

zodiac: gemini (with a scorpio moon 🌙)

height: 5'8" (Victoria dni)

time: 02:30am

favorite band/artist: Nick Cave, AJJ, Kate Bush, Bjork, Nicole Dollanganger, Bloodhound Gang

song stuck in my head: None rn, I'm podcasting, but here's my current hyperfixactions:

In The Land - Nicole Dollanganger (Give it up for the milk carton angel. Soaked in vomit, tied up at the kitchen table.)

Snuff Out The Light - Ertha Kitt (Revealed to me in secret signs. The mark of the magician.)

Brutus - The Buttress (What motivates me? Hatred? Is it love? What's more wrong, that I too wish to be great or my mother wished she'd had a son? // Of humble origins and born of the cursed sex. My name is Brutus, but the people will call me Rex.)

The Heroine - Unwoman (So you're a coward, who could never love me. Or you have fallen to the enemy.)

last thing I googled: I dont wanna drop names but i was looking for a specific podcaster ao3 fic 🙃

last movie I saw: waaahhhh, this is hard. I actually hate watching movies and tv shows. Oh! It was The Monkey King 3!! This is my favourite of the franchise and y'all can suck my cunt if you think otherwise 😔

other blogs: @the-napoleon-of-crime (main), @hyerballad (pink) those are the only ones I use actively but here's my hoarded urls too, strap in: @divine---trash @graysons-graymom @blood-drive-time @worlds-greatest-date-tective @im-a-fountain-of-blood @dontbeatmeupbrett @thelambtonwrym @givegriffinanenema (this is related to an earlier question, scavenger hunt) @beckygrabthestrap @doflamingopisskink @bitchofdelphi - im stopping here this is a lot and theres like a quarter more 🤐

do I get asks: not really, i think my mutuals feel free to come into my dm's

following: 3907, im sorry if you interact with my blog a lot and I don't on yours. I genuinely never see anyone I know on my dash... 😢😢

average amount of sleep: 7-8 hours

what I'm wearing: army green joggers and smoothie pink strap top (my pyjamas are always like, some kind of joggers/leggings and a strap top)

dream job: the psychologist asked me this and I accidently said I could never imagine happiness deriving from capitalism. She was like ? And i was like... Botanist. 👄 This sounds like one of those and everybody clapped stories but I was just regurgitating all the shit i read on this site day in

dream trip: machu picchu is honestly the one for me, everywhere else is twos and threes 😔🏞️

favorite food: whatever the fuck the fluffy cream on chocolate gateau is, hot sticky toffee pudding (no raisins fuck you), white chocolate, lemon curd

play any instruments: euphonium, but only to pull bitches 😘

eye color: blue

hair color: bleach blonde (Hitler after reading 😔😳)

why did I choose this username: it was a fun play/inside joke with my ex-freind arkenstoned, from the prince of egypt line "walls of alabaster stone" I love it so I'm not changing it just because we're no longer friends ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

languages you speak: English, but I like to collect both how to say "I love you" and favourite term of endearment, from my friends who have different native languages. Szeretlek 😘

most iconic song: https://youtu.be/lTaXtWWR16A

random fact: The epaulette shark is the only shark that can walk on land but did you know she is also my favourite shark 😭😭😭 did you know she's the cutest shark 😭😭😭 the best shark 😭😭😭 oh no 😭🦈😭

describe yourself as aesthetic things: deer bleeding to death on the snow of a vast forest, underneath the ice, kneeling at an altar - looking away from the mirror but your reflection keeps looking at you, that long hard stare Judas gives Jesus in the 2000 version of Superstar - Jesus bloodied/pleading and reaching out for him - until Judas turns away uninterested, Tamsen Donner alone at camp with Keseberg standing in the howling snow - just outside her tent, 11yr old Janet Hodgson - possessed - using false vocal cords - describing dying of a hemorrhage in the chair downstairs, orange lava lamp

i tag: @imageofvoid @bagofghosts @anthropo-cene @here-queer-and-dastardly @unholyywine @the-vampire-squid-from-hell @urbansockmonkey @hlh-yo @justchernobylthings @sugar-coma @damn-antihero @theshortgirlintheredcoat and anyone who wants to say I tagged them/anyone i forgot!! 🎉🎊🎉

[joa123]

Chapter 1: Oblivion

*Knock knock*, that was about the tenth knock I heard on the door. Damn these fucking loan sharks and furniture people didn’t rest. I even caught one trying to turn the knob on the front door. Can you believe that. Son of a bitch was actually crazy enough to think that I had left the door open. What the hell did he think I was gonna do, let him come in, sit on my couch and eat my pop tarts, and let him berate me for 2 hours as to why I was late for the fifth week in a row, again, fuck that. If I just stand here long enough they have to leave eventually. It looks like mom forgot to pay Rent-a-Center for the 5th week in a row. Not at all surprising to be honest. But what did I expect. We were struggling to keep our heads above water for some time and at this point struggling had become an art form. Hiding from loan sharks was the tequila that burned the back of my throat and hiding from these assholes was the lemon that quenched the burn.

My knees were hurting from leaning over on the floor trying to look under the door to make sure the rent-a-center collectors had left. They started getting smart on me. Covering up the peephole so that way I would just reluctantly open the door without looking. HA! Those morons, their balls would fall off before they saw this pretty face again. After about 5 more minutes I left to my room and locked the door. I threw off my shirt, pants and accidentally flung a sneaker at the mirror from trying to take it off so bad and walked to my bathroom. It was probably the only thing good about living in this freaking house. I had my own bathroom. Not that it mattered a whole a lot considering my mom walked in whenever the fuck it suited her. Jesus Christ, Dominican parents are the worst. If you don’t live with them they bitch and moan about how you never visit them. And if you do live in their house and pay about 80% of the bills in this bitch like I do, you get no privacy.

You have to send out memos and public service announcements to let everyone and their mother know when and if your going to fuck, shower or shave and how often your gonna do it, just to make sure that someone unexpectedly doesn’t pop in and witness your tit halfway down someone’s throat. That is if you have tits, if you have something else, then just use your imagination. Over the years I had begun to hate being home. Vacations to me were a must every so often and I felt like I was losing oxygen all the time. I felt trapped, unfulfilled and literally felt like everyone was moving on with their lives.

They say never peer through someone’s window unless you want to live in the house, but from the outside looking in, anything is better than this. I mean look at me, Jo. Living in the same house I lived in since my senior year of high school, and I’m about to turn 26. And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with being a fully grown adult and living at home, it just wasn’t my cup of rum. Besides this house felt tainted and dirty, not to mention the shit it has seen over the years. I mean I’ve been through 9 jobs, 5 boyfriends, 4 cats, 3 graduations, 2 siblings born, 2 cars.

But today was the day I was out of my wits. Anyone, from old man jenkins to the girl scouts could catch a beating. Real life lately had depleted me of any and all available fucks I had left to give. I needed something exciting, fulfilling, new and life changing. I had just started a new job in the city, I thought maybe that would do the trick. New environment, new people and it seemed easy enough. But I always felt empty. I slipped into the tub with seething hot water, hoping it would burn off the stench of misery. Today had just been a particularly rough day. Nothing and I mean nothing was going my way. Bill collectors were calling, the mailbox was filled with disconnection notices, it felt like my world was caving in. And all mom could do was cry. If you’re wondering why I don’t mention Dear old Dad, well don’t. I don’t necessarily have a problem with him. I guess if you’re an outsider looking in, he’s funny, charismatic and great with friends. The man could sell you water.

But if you’re on the inside looking out, like me, I can’t unsee the manipulative, devious, wife beating, bastard that he is. Nothing about him said father to me, and nothing about him made me want to reach out and try, so I never did. And here I am, 2 arms, 2 legs and a head later. Still walking, still breathing, still living. Well, surviving was more like it, but he didn’t need to know those details now did he. Once I saw that the tub filled up to a decent depth I closed the nozzle and let the heat overwhelm me. It felt amazing. As if the beating that reality was giving me was almost all worth it for this...well, I did say almost.

The water felt like a much needed embrace. I watched as the water first covered my toes, my legs then my stomach and watched as it eventually worked its way to my face. I completely submerged underwater, wetting my hair and felt the smooth liquid finally take my hair with it. I stayed underwater for bit, wanting the dirt from this weeks headaches to run away from my scalp. When I emerged I felt cleansed and soothed. I laid there for a few minutes, letting my thoughts run through me. I was so over it, if you know what I mean. I felt as though peace had evaded me and it has been that way for years now. I started to think, when is it all going to stop. The thinking, pondering, the yearning. Then I thought to myself maybe I should just take up a hobby, maybe that would make me feel better.

But what could be something that isn’t time consuming, expensive, yet that was invigorating and could stir up passion in me? I thought maybe writing would suit me. I had always loved English, loved reading stories and deciphering meanings, analyzing characters, maybe I could write about my shitty life and how there were days when I so badly wanted to end it. “I don’t know, I’ll think about it”, I said to no one in particular. The problem with me has always been that I lose interest in things quickly. If I start painting I'll like it for about a week. Then I’ll get bored and move onto something else or even worse, I’ll stay on airplane mode and wont even attempt to try something else. I have grown comfortable with mediocrity. What’s even worse, was that I wasn’t even attempting to make change, I just existing. Slowly but surely blending in with the rest of the mundane world. I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt my promise ring effortlessly slip off of my finger and fall to the bottom of the tub. Goosebumps ravaged my body and it felt as if someone had pulled it off and let the ring slip though their fingers. Which was strange since it fit perfectly. But maybe I had fiddled with it while I was sorting through my midlife crisis and hadn’t noticed thatI had loosened the grip on the ring.

I turned around in my tub so as to face the drain to catch the ring before it swam down the drain. It felt like the ring was running away from me. I kept smacking the bottom of the tub trying to grab the ring and it felt as though every time it slipped away, the ring was laughing at me. After about a minute of this charade, just when I thought I grabbed it, something entirely different grabbed me. I didn’t understand it then, but in that instance I was pulled under. By what, I don’t know, seeing as that my bathtub was only a foot and a half deep and about 3 feet wide, and this is me being generous.

What the hell could possibly be dragging me down a drain. A better question would be how the hell do I even fit in the damn thing. I felt as though I had gone through a door. Everything was pitch black, I felt movement but I couldn’t move myself, whoever or whatever pulled me under had an iron grip and was not about to let me go. Let it be noted that the had, although forceful in purpose, seemed soft and smooth to the touch, even though we were under water, or at least I think I’m underwater. Through my eyelids I could see colors both bright and beautiful. They reminded me of when you get hit across the face and all of the sudden these colorful circles would dance around your face.

It was strange that I couldn’t smell anything, I’m usually really big on smell. I couldn’t hear anything either I heard water splashing but I was neither wet, hot or cold. “What kind of fuckery is this,'' I thought to myself. Oh yea did I mention I couldn’t talk either? So any thought of asking my captive, “hey asshole, where exactly am I going butt ass naked”, was obviously out of the question. I finally hit the ground on what felt like dirt and rocks. It felt plush, the ground was soft and moist, not a great combination for the face but better than landing on concrete. I stood up immediately assuming the fighting position, I looked like I was in the middle of realizing I was high as a kite, knowing damn and full well I was acting ridiculous because I was high. I was ready, ready for what exactly I didn't know, but whatever brought me out of my bathtub was not about to catch me off guard, not if I could help it. Whatever happened, I was going down swinging.

I took a good luck around me, and just that quickly, all of the fight left my breath. The scenery before me captivated me and rendered me still. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Fields of grass and several different types of flowers laid before me for miles. Daisies, daffodils, sunflowers, you name it, all bloomed vibrantly and filled the air with rich fluorescent smells, and saturated the scene with vivid colors. It was as if the earth began and would end in this one place. The garden of Eden was a child’s coloring project posted on the refrigerator compared to what I was looking at. Further past the flowers was a mountain. The contrast between its snowy white peak mixed with the dark colors of the earth with the greens reds and oranges of the field, made the scenario all the more picturesque and surreal. Just when I was beginning to notice that there was no sign of life I noticed butterflies, at least that’s what they looked like, fluttering about I noticed that they had kaleidoscope colored wings that were transparent. This contrasted with the black details and definition of their antennas.

They were beautiful works of art that flew majestically. Unbeknownst to them, I envied them. Not only were they indescribably beautiful, but they were free, free of burden, free of remorse, debt, hatred and all of the things that plagued me on the inside. I bet they didn’t even know how beautiful they were or how pure they seemed. After all, how could something so beautiful carry any sort of malevolence. How I longed to be this free and transparent with my surroundings. I wanted to feel anxiety free, stress free. Perhaps if given time, this too can happen for me. “One day”, I muttered to myself. Just as I was about to grab this so called butterfly, as I was mere inches away from it, it popped right in front of me, as if I was blowing bubbles. It disappeared completely and not a single trace of it was left. “This day is just getting weirder and weirder”, I said to no one in particular.

I decided to walk around and see if I found anything to give me a clue as to where I was. The atmosphere was so clean, warm and inviting. I couldn’t really describe it. I was feeling everything at once. Happy, excited, wanted. It had felt as though no matter how nervous I should be in the not knowing where I was, nothing mattered more than being in this very place right here, right now. I had noticed that not a single piece of trash littered the ground anywhere. How the city paled in comparison to this paradise. There was no smell of waste, no debris, nothing even remotely unattractive.

Whoever came up with this place, must’ve been God himself. I saw a stream and walked towards it wanting to see if I recognized any animals. It was a dumb idea, I know but call me optimistic. I walked over to the bank, knelt down as carefully as I could not wanting to fall in the small body of water and risk getting wet this time. I looked at my reflection and it suddenly hit me. Why wasn’t I wet? Or cold? Or naked? I looked over at my reflection closer this time and saw that I was wearing what I could only describe as a large sheet cloth with an off white color.

The dress wasn't accentuating my curves at all, but nor did it make me look or feel any less feminine. I had just realized right then and there that this was the first time that I had seen myself all day. Lately I had felt so disgusted and disappointed in my life that I had left the thoughts of vanity to elsewhere. I brushed my hair aside and tucked it behind my ear. I had just recently cut it into a bob hoping that was the change I needed, sadly it was not. I got a good look at my tan skin, very smooth and blemish free, my small head in which I saw the high cheekbones, a plump bottom lip,a nose that I finally grew into and hazel eyes with a slight hint of yellow with an eerie glow. “What a minute”, I said silently as I leaned in closer to the water and was shook. My eyes were glowing. There was no way of unseeing what I saw. Not only did I see the yellow glow beam from my eyes. I could feel it. It felt as though my eyes were so bright from within me that it bothered me to have them open for too long.

I stood up quickly as if not looking in to the water would make what I saw any less true. I walked backwards, turned around on my heel and once turned around, tripped over a vine on the ground. My hand landed on what felt like a shoe. I looked up, effectively shaking the dirt off of my chin and saw a rather shiny shoe, both sturdy and leather. I looked up with hesitation and saw the most beautiful deep sea green eyes stare right back at me. The owner wasn’t half bad either. As I steadied myself back to my feet I noticed he was excessively tall probably around 6’4, if I had to guess with strong arms, a puffed up chest, steal muscles, and long hair, right around shoulder length but definitely longer than mine.

He was about two shades darker than me in skin tone. with a straight nose, high cheekbones and powerful legs that could probably outrun a horse. Yup, this dude definitely took his fitness seriously. He looked calm, yet a little too smug for my liking. I thought I’d take the initiative in the conversation seeing as we both stood what felt like an eternity staring at each other and neither one of us said a word. Although I have to admit my stare was more like ogling him with googly eyes, his was more out of curiosity and yet, with a slight hint of satisfaction. Almost as if he had caught what he was looking for. “So is the part where you try to kidnap me and I fight you to the death or what”, sure that’s what you say to a guy twice your size. He cocked his head to the side, it reminded me of when you were disciplining a puppy and it didn’t understand what you were saying. “I am confused, do you think me capable of hurting you,''he said calmly and soothingly. I could hear this guy talk to me all day. It definitely was not the answer I was expecting, but I’ll roll with it for now.

“Well I just fell through my shower drain into a magical universe with a Thor looking wanna be I don’t know, so my guess is yes Hercules”. The scrunched look on his brow indicated how annoyed he was at my description of him. “I am not Hercules, my name is Magales, warrior of the Western Pavilion and I am here on an assignment of which I intend to complete”. If his physique wasn’t going to make me like him even more, his name sure as hell would do the trick. He was sexy, in an ancient kind of way. His body was young looking but he looked wiser beyond his years. He looked to be about 30 years of age, but could pass off as someone in their mid twenties. The man named Magales folded his arms and held his position, letting it be known that he wasn’t budging. “Oh yea and what sort of assignment is that? Cause from over here it looks like your trying to win a staring contest”. He took two steps and was meet inches from my face. I was stunned at how broodily gorgeous he was. “ I am here to return you back to the land where you belong. With that being said, Welcome home, Guardian.

[tactical-sunglasses-blog]

Honestly I just wanted to do this

1: Name: Ivy

2: Age: 18

3: 3 Fears: The dark, abandonment, spiders

4: 3 things I love: Music, memes, Uncharted

5: 4 turn ons: Uhh I don’t really know, I guess (in a sense of imitating character voices or something) roleplaying, scratching, light hair pulling, dirty talk???? Idk man

6: 4 turn offs: Ego the size of Betelgeuse (the star), pushy attitudes, jealousy, too clingy

7: My best friend: The Internet

8: Sexual orientation: I don’t rightly know what to consider myself, can I put down “Undetermined”?

9: My best first date: I’ve never really been on a proper date

10: How tall am I: 5′ 10″ 

11: What do I miss: My cat

12: What time was I born: 4:02 pm

13: Favorite color: Black

14: Do I have a crush: Yeah kinda but we’ve only exchanged the phrases “I brought reusable bags” and “Have a nice day” rip

15: Favorite quote: “I won’t be able to enjoy a single one of these coins knowing you and your worthless brother are still sucking air”

16: Favorite place: Anywhere with food

17: Favorite food: Really any kind of red meat or potato

18: Do I use sarcasm: How do I properly answer this

19: What am I listening to right now: The Sound of Silence (there’s nothing on)

20: First thing I notice in new person: Their aura, like what kind of vibe they give off

21: Shoe size: Women’s 11, men’s 9

22: Eye color: Blue

23: Hair color: Brown, dyed blue/mint green undertone

24: Favorite style of clothing: Is black a style

25: Ever done a prank call?: Yeah but I forgot to *67 so it didn’t work lmao

27: Meaning behind my URL: Rafe is daddy af

28: Favorite movie: Idk man I guess Labyrinth

29: Favorite song: Midnight in Transylvania (Indoor Percussion show)

30: Favorite band: Rammstein or SOAD

31: How I feel right now: I’m pretty bored

32: Someone I love: Platonically or what? Platonically I’d go with like David Tennant cuz he’s my dude but like if it were like a legit love interest I’d have to say ya boi @marshythevamp

33: My current relationship status: Single :/

34: My relationship with my parents: Love my mom, dad is reaaaaaaally iffy

35: Favorite holiday: Halloween

36: Tattoos and piercing i have: None

37: Tattoos and piercing i want: Tattoo of something Uncharted related on my arm or something, like a quote

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I’m trash and I wanted easier access to fanfic

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: yES

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? Yeeeeees <3

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: No

42: When did I last hold hands?: I don’t even remember

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: Like 10 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: I think so?

45: Where am I right now?: My room

46: If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Why would I be drunk tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Depends

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Just mom

49: Am I excited for anything?: Yeah boi boutta send a birthday present to my best friend that isn’t the Internet

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Yeah man

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: Yeah, at work

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: Yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I wouldn’t really care much, but I’d warn the poor girl

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: I don’t think so

55: What is something I disliked about today?: I worked out for the first time in like ever

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Nolan North

57: What do I think about most?: Food probably oops

58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can bend just my fingertips and clover my tongue

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Public restrooms ????? And black toilets honestly those things are scary, they look like a void

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: I like both

61: What was the last lie I told?: “Oh yeah working out was fun”

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Neither really

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: Ghosts, yes. Aliens, no.

64: Do I believe in magic?: What kind of magic? Tricks or like legit stuff--

65: Do I believe in luck?: In a sense

66: What's the weather like right now?: Gloomy, it just rained

67: What was the last book I've read?: Where The Wild Things Are

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: Not really

69: Do I have any nicknames?: Adler, Fern

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?: I broke my foot in sophomore year, broke my elbow in kindergarten. Not sure which was worse.

71: Do I spend money or save it?: A bit of both

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: Ew no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: This one Jesus candle I bought as a gag

74: Favorite animal?: Shark

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Eating a quesadilla

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Morningstar, duh.

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Catgroove

78: How can you win my heart?: Be nice and respect who I am, it doesn’t really take a whole lot.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?: “This user is Stefan Karl’s meme friend”

80: What is my favorite word?: Hinky

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: Comeonrafe, behold-the-goddamn-silver-fox, galaxycat-1459, unchartedwrites, mine-uc BUT LITERALLY I LOVE EVERYONE

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: “If Sonic is so fast why does Eggman keep catching up to him?”

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: I think so lmao

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Wait is this a Simpson’s reference--But I’d choose the ability to bring characters to life (Is that a superpower?)

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: Idk???

86: What is my current desktop picture?: I don’t own a computer man, but my lock screen is Sully

87: Had sex?: Nah

88: Bought condoms?: Nope

89: Gotten pregnant?: Unless I’m the Virgin Mary, no

90: Failed a class?: Yeah oops

91: Kissed a boy?: Ye

92: Kissed a girl?: Ye

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: I don’t rightly remember

94: Had a job?: Yeah

95: Left the house without my wallet?: Guilty

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: Only if they started shit with me

97: Had sex in public?: No ?????? Guys why

98: Played on a sports team?: Marching band counts, right? It better count.

99: Smoked weed?: Once or twice. I didn’t like it much.

100: Did drugs?: Other than Mary’s iguana (lmao) no

101: Smoked cigarettes?: One, didn’t like it. Sam, keep your ciggies.

102: Drank alcohol?: Yee don’t tell the cops

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: Nah

104: Been overweight?: I don’t think so

105: Been underweight?: Yeah :/

106: Been to a wedding?: Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: Those are rookie numbers

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: ROOKIE

109: Been outside my home country?: No :’)

110: Gotten my heart broken?: More than once

111: Been to a professional sports game?: Kinda? I don’t know if you’d call the Reading Phillies “professional”

112: Broken a bone?: Two or three

113: Cut myself?: By accident? Yeah. On purpose? No.

114: Been to prom?: Yeah

115: Been in an airplane: Ye

116: Fly by helicopter?: Nope

117: What concerts have I been to?: Only my own, unless you’d consider Blue Man Group a concert

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Yes

119: Learned another language?: Yes kinda

120: Wore make up?: Only on occassion

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: No

122: Had oral sex?: No

123: Dyed my hair?: Yeah

124: Voted in a presidential election?: No

125: Rode in an ambulance?: No

126: Had a surgery?: No

127: Met someone famous?: Ye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: Yes oops

129: Peed outside?: YEAH MAN

130: Been fishing?: Yeah

131: Helped with charity?: Yeah

132: Been rejected by a crush?: Mmhm :(

133: Broken a mirror?: No

134: What do I want for birthday?: Meet a voice actor or meme dad himself, Stefan Karl