#jesus christ im down to like ten tags uh oh. anyway so long story short yes i want to come out this summer i think
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#we are once again thinking abt the process of coming out and typing it helps bc then i can go back and reread it#and notice the typos i missed in the process but skip that for now#so like. for some reason i have this HUGE urge to come out this summer and i have a few theories#the first and most realistic (hello occam) is that ive known since probably eighth grade that im Not cishet. like ive known i was Something#(read: not like other girls syndrome) but i never knew *what* i was. i didnt know if i was ace or liked girls or was a girl or was nothing#or whatever. i didnt know what i Was. i only knew what i Wasnt (cishet). now i know (like. 98% certainty. theres some shifting but im pretty#solid). anyway i Know now that im A Boy Who Likes Boys. like i KNOW this. ive done the soul searching ive taken the quizzes i know all of it#and historically i never felt the need to come out because it wouldve been pragmatically pointless. hey mom hey dad im not cishet. i dont#know for sure which part of that im not nor do i know what i Am yet. stay tuned for more details to come#like that would be so dumb lol so it was never a huge issue. i figured like ok yknow once i figure it out for myself THEN we can handle the#parent situation. which was no problemo for past lab because that bitch got to procrastinate it. but now hes ME. rude#so now that i know what i am its frustrating because usually its like. like idk but stick with me here. in coding classes youll be provided#test cases and you have to write functions to accomplish a task. then with the given test cases you test ur code and see what works#then you get past the first test case (basic test or w/e) and move on to more comprehensive ones. then once a given function passes all its#relevant test cases u mentally mark the function as done and move on to another. bringing it back around ive run all the test cases on#who i am and who i want to Do. ive completed the function i know how it works ive gone back and reduced the time complexity and all that#so for me. this is usually where i mark it as done and put it in a Finished Junk box and move on. but the prerequisite for entry into that#box is everyone else Also being aware of the function’s completed state#im not gonna bother asking if that makes sense bc if u read this far its on u to get my point. idk#jesus christ im down to like ten tags uh oh. anyway so long story short yes i want to come out this summer i think#which is a HUGE acceleration to my projected timeline of Hey Maybe Graduate College First So You Arent Financially Dependent On The People#Whose Love And Support Youre Most Afraid Of Losing yk#like. yes i could come out in september or so once ive moved back to campus and can have some space. but for some reason (probably the long#winded and unnecessary metaphor made above) i dont know if i can stand going the Whole Summer without telling them. idk#for someone who doesnt know how to shut up i sure do say idk a lot#once again. did i have a point writing this? no. did it help my brain sort through shit a little better? yeah actually#the ideal would be Talking Verbally to someone but like i said im Home and virtual therapy is very difficult to do covertly#hey lab why are u spending half an hour sitting in ur car outside? oh u know just doing therapy lol 🤪🤪🤪#simply chatting about stuff that might get me disowned or kicked our 🤪🤪 u know how i be!!#ive deleted my labhrambles tag to do this one and say. what the fuck. usually i get to 20 tags max how did we hit the Limit hello??
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