#jesus christ bea

[thornedarrow]

maybe in another life

[possibilistfanfiction]

for surgeons au.,, perhaps some hurt/comfort :,)

[hbd @gohandinhand. sorry but tbf... u asked for this lol (also so many of you asked for 'what if bea gets hurt' bc we all share one collective grey's anatomy-ass braincell // also on ao3]

//

‘dr. silva is still in the tumor resection?’

it’s only, like, your fifth week being a doctor, so there are so many things you don’t know all the time; you add dr. villaumbrosia asking this question to the list. still, she’s kind of the scariest person you’ve ever met in your life — unflappable and a little mean to everyone but her patients and their families, talented and whip-smart beyond belief, willing to take on the hardest cases — and so you answer anyway with a nod. you only know this because zaire promised he would come find you just after he’d finished with dr. silva — to celebrate at the bar down the street and hopefully more than that too — but you don’t add that; you don’t think dr. villaumbrosia would appreciate it all that much.

‘okay,’ she says, more shaken than you’ve ever seen her.

‘is something… did something go wrong, or?’

‘with ava’s surgery, no, i don’t think so.’ 

ava is new; you’re not embarrassed to admit that you and basically your whole intern class has been keeping track of who’s with whom amongst the attendings, so you know they’re all either dating or friends or some kind of family. still, dr. villaumbrosia never uses first names at work. 

‘there’s a trauma being flown in,’ she continues. ‘there was an avalanche, and dr. choi was skiing in the backcountry today. i don’t — i don’t know more details.’ she worries her hands for a moment. ‘she hasn’t answered her sat phone.’

‘oh,’ is the best you’ve got, disarmed by the obvious fear that lingers around every inch of her.

‘dr. silva can’t know, if she does come in. not until after he’s finished the hardest part of the procedure and can pass it off.’

not that you were going to be the one to randomly decide to go to dr. silva’s OR and say any of this, but you nod. ‘of course.’

‘i need you to go check on tai; she’s in daycare.’

‘uh, i don’t — i’ve never —‘

dr. villaumbrosia waves you off. ‘she’s cute. looks like choi, acts like silva.’ 

when you don’t respond immediately, dr. villaumbrosia just glares. ‘yeah, of course,’ you hurry to say.

‘and then i need you to go to the ER for the trauma. dr. masters already knows you’re coming; you’re going to see what’s going on and tell me and no one else. got it?’

‘yes, dr. villaumbrosia. will do.’

‘great.’

to be honest, you have no idea where the daycare even is, and this certainly isn’t what you went to a bazillion years of school for, but whatever. maybe this will get you on dr. villaumbrosia’s good side. 

‘and dr. al-najjar?’

you nod.

‘i know this seems ridiculous. but dr. choi is — she’s my favorite person. it’s important.’

you understand in your own way: you facetime your little brother every day, no matter how tired you are, no matter how late or early it is for you. ‘i’ll tell you everything as soon as i can.’

‘good.’

/

tai is, apparently, a fourteen month old, very cute toddler, who really does look like dr. choi. when you explain, very briefly, to one of the daycare teacher that dr. villaumbrosia sent you to see how she’s doing, make sure she’s okay, she nods and shows you over to an area of the room with soft mats and some wooden blocks. tai smiles at you, all baby teeth and big cheeks, and says mostly nonsense but a few words — blocks, doctor, mama — and then promptly knocks over her block tower with definite glee. 

you snap a nice, cute picture of tai smiling in her little giraffe hoodie and send it off to dr. villaumbrosia. you’ve never been a baby guy, and you’re certain she isn’t either, because there’s no way you could ever possibly choose her specialty if you were, but she loves the photo anyway — the first and only time she’ll ever respond to a text from you like that, you’re absolutely certain — and it makes you smile, just for a moment. when you wave goodbye to tai she laughs, and you hope, very concretely, that she goes home with both of her parents tonight, or soon, at least, that her family stays as full and happy and warm as it had been this morning.

/

you feel genuinely nervous and way too invested: you’ve met dr. choi in passing a handful of times, and she’d assisted on one of dr. villaumbrosia’s surgeries once that you’d gotten to hold a retractor for, but according to emma — the best gossip and also dr. choi’s favorite intern, allegedly — says that dr. choi is kind and quiet and a wonderful teacher, patient and skilled and efficient. you’d been looking forward to being on her service soon, honestly, and, even in the past few weeks, you’re starting to understand that the people here, that you spend so much time with, are starting to feel like family.

dr. masters nods at you, her braids already tucked away beneath a cap, trauma gown on. you’re on peds, so you don’t know if you’re really here to help with anything — dr. villaumbrosia wasn’t called down for any consults, still set for the routine bowel repair she’d been scheduled for this afternoon, so you’re fairly certain there weren’t any children coming in — but she gestures toward the gown and gloves anyway.

‘just in case we need more hands on deck,’ she says as way of explanation. ‘there’s four people, and we don’t really know the extent of their injuries.’

you nod — what else is there to say — and things are very, very still until dr. masters gets a page and then everything is moving — loudly, organized, seamless — and you’re in awe, for a moment, of dr. masters’ ER. you love trauma surgery and she’s, like, kind of the biggest badass in the country, and it’s pretty fucking cool to watch her very quickly get everyone exactly where they need to be in the amount of time it takes for her to walk to the elevator that leads up to the helipad.

the wind whips from the blades when the doors open, rainy and miserable, and your heart is caught in your throat when the door opens. you see dr. masters’ hands shake, although you’d never, ever mention it, locked behind her back in tight fists, until dr. choi’s face — a bruise along her jaw, a scrape that runs underneath her eye, all the way into her hair, the tip of her nose and the tips of her ears a painful red, probably from frostbite — comes into view.

dr. choi, strapped into a stretcher, covered in a blanket and hooked up to an IV, immediately starts talking, before the stretcher is even fully out of the helicopter. ‘the three coming out,’ she starts, ‘i dug them out as much as i could. i did an emergency thoracostomy on david, you need to push a ton of antibiotics. anna needs to go to the OR immediately for her pelvis, make sure cam —‘

‘—beatrice,’ dr. masters says, rushing to her side and, if you were to bet, wanting to sink to her knees in relief. ‘oh my god.’

‘i’m fine,’ dr. choi says, annoyed at being made to stay on the stretcher. ‘i properly deployed my avalanche airbag. but mary, listen —‘

dr. masters holds dr. choi’s face in her hands and then kisses the top of dr. choi’s head. it’s tender, and you wonder how long they’ve known each other to afford that level of intimacy, that level of care. ‘i got them, bea. i promise. we gotta take care of you too or ava will kill me.’

dr. choi relaxes, just minutely, but you can tell — maybe because you would trust dr. masters with your life or anyone else’s, maybe at the mention of dr. silva, maybe some combination of both — and she nods.

dr. masters rolls her eyes and kisses the top of dr. choi’s head once more. ‘stupid hero. let me go make all your hard work worthwhile.’

dr. choi smiles, definitely reassured now. ‘you better.’

/

you’re not surprised, exactly, that chief superion is waiting to take over dr. choi’s care, but you are a little surprised when dr. superion squeezes her shoulder gently and smiles, a little sad. 

‘ava is still in surgery, so let’s get the worst of it taken care of before she’s done, yes?’

dr. choi nods, growing more exhausted by the minute. which is fair, you think, as she tells dr. superion — and you, because you’re stuck in this room until you have a real report for dr. villaumbrosia beyond the text you’d sent that just said Dr. Choi is talking and moving, no head or neck injuries — about how the avalanche airbag had worked, even if it was frightening; about how her transceiver, according to SAR, had helped them get there faster than they would have otherwise.  

‘ava always teased me about how expensive the gear was, but look who’s laughing now.’

‘well, to be fair,’ dr. superion says, looking at dr. choi’s x-rays, ‘i don’t think either of you are laughing.’ 

‘oh, yikes,’ dr. choi says, looking at the films too. she’s on a fair amount of pain medicine at this point, but she’s right: there’s a few nasty fractures along the bones in her left wrist. but, other than those and a few cracked ribs and some mild frostbite on her nose, ears, and the tips of her fingers, it seems like it’s just cuts and bruises: nothing she won’t heal from, and far better off than the others who came in with her.

‘i, uh — sorry,’ you say, feeling like you’re interrupting, but they both just shake their heads, waving off your apology. ‘dr. villaumbrosia sent me to see if you’re okay, and i’m supposed to go talk to her once i know. which, i guess i know now.’ not your best work, and in front of the chief, but oh well.

dr. choi smiles fondly. ‘thank you for telling me. i’ll never let lilith forget it.’ 

dr. superion doesn’t smile, but it seems like she wants to. ‘go ahead, dr. al-najjar. you can tell her that we’re admitting dr. choi to ortho; dr. alvarez will operate tomorrow, once the swelling has gone down.’

‘and tell lilith i love her too.’

‘i — uh—‘

dr. superion laughs. ‘go, dr. al-najjar.’

/

you’ve just finished your report to dr. villaumbrosia — in the middle of a surgery, but it’s clear her shoulders relax immediately, continuing to operate smoothly — when dr. silva flings open the door of the OR.

‘hello ava,’ dr. villaumbrosia says, not even looking up from the stitch she’s putting in. ‘she’s okay.’

dr. silva, breathing so hard her mask is getting sucked into her mouth and nose, doubles over, her hands on her knees. ‘i gotta do more cardio, oh my god,’ he mumbles, then takes a deep breath and stands. ‘you’re sure?’

‘yes,’ dr. villaumbrosia, ‘i had dr. al-najjar make sure personally. he also checked on tai; she’s doing great.’

‘very cute,’ you say and then debate just quitting residency here altogether, but dr. silva smiles at you.

‘thanks man,’ she says. ‘sorry you missed this surgery.’

‘the bowel was perforated,’ dr. villaumbrosia says. ‘it was quite disgusting, to be honest.’

‘well then,’ dr. silva says, ‘hey, you’re welcome! you got to see my adorable kid and my sexy wife. who, as lovely as your company always is, lil, i’m gonna go see now.’

‘she deployed that avalanche airbag, dug three other people out, and did a field chest tube by the time SAR got there.’ 

‘hot.’

‘insane, actually,’ dr. villaumbrosia says. ‘but give her my love.’

/

two days later you’re back on shift — after drinks and truly, genuinely great sex with zaire that still ended up happening despite everything, god bless — and you swing by ortho before you go up to peds. you’re not friends with dr. choi or dr. silva, but you do want to see how things are going anyway. your mom always says it’s better to be kinder than necessary, and you’re starting to believe it.

they’re an adorable family, you think, tai showing dr. choi her lion stuffy and babbling excitedly, sitting on the hospital bed between her legs, turning every now and then toward dr. silva in a chair by her bedside. dr. choi, her arm in a brace and a sling, looks pretty good overall: her eyes seem clear, the bruises along her jaw are already starting to turn green and yellow, a great sign of healing, and the redness on her nose and ears has lessened considerably. 

also, she’s sitting up and talking animatedly, clearly happy with her daughter and her wife there. from her chart — you looked it up in the system before you came, whatever — you’re pretty sure she’s going to get to go home today, which you suspect is what the small duffle bag by dr. silva’s feet is for. 

‘all i’m saying,’ you hear from dr. silva, ’is that your nose could’ve fallen off.’

‘ava,’ dr. choi says, exasperated and laughing.

dr. silva sits back and pouts, exaggerating with crossed arms. 

‘i will be more careful,’ dr. choi concedes, but it doesn’t feel much like a concession the way she smiles at tai and then runs a gentle hand over her wispy hair. emma — who is an incredible gossip but you’re starting to think she also just has a giant crush — had told you and zaire that dr. choi is, like, an experienced outdoors person with certifications in all kinds of different safety courses and activities; you know she and dr. villaumbrosia have done stints with MSF together too. 

‘good,’ dr. silva says. ‘because lord knows i cannot raise tai by myself.’

dr. choi frowns, then offers her good hand to dr. silva, who scoots closer and takes it with a kiss to her scraped knuckles. 

‘plus, while i would deal, obviously, you’d probably be less hot if your nose fell off.’

‘“probably”?’

dr. silva shrugs. ‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

‘would you still love me if my nose fell off?’

‘ava.’

/

‘good morning, dr. al-najjar,’ dr. choi says when you knock lightly on the open door of her office. it’s impeccably neat, a few pictures of dr. silva and tai on her desk. she’s wearing the brace on her wrist still but no sling; her bruises and frostbite have faded. in her scrubs and white coat and clogs, a fresh buzzcut and a cup of coffee in her good hand, she looks exactly the surgeon you’ve looked forward to working with. 

‘good morning, dr. choi. welcome back.’

she smiles and closes her office door, starts leading you down the hall. ‘thank you. and, apologizes in advance that you won’t have any surgeries with me for the next two weeks until i’m officially cleared.’ she rolls her eyes. 

‘that’s okay,’ you say. ‘more sleep, honestly.’

‘true. and,’ she says, opening a door to the most incredible, brand new lab you’ve ever seen, ‘i can promise that the research we’ll get to work on will be worth it.’

‘i always thought i would go into trauma,’ you tell her, ‘but i think i just fell in love.’

she grins. ‘the heart wants what it wants.’

you pause a moment but then you can’t help yourself: you laugh.

‘in that case,’ she says, ‘let me show you around, and let’s get to work.’

[disco-troy]

WHITE BEA CANT HURT ME SHES NOT REAL

[deprivedmusicaljunkie]

screaming the name of a foreigner’s god the purest expression of grief. now imagine i reblogged that six times in a row. wouldn’t that be kinda annoying. well that’s how many times andrew sings it

[queenretcon]

[grahamcore]

just binge watched the entire first season of severance and holy mother fuck that was good

[breitzbachbea]

Hate how my camera cannot capture FUCK YOU monumentality. Can't capture Mons Vesuvius, can't capture the absolutely insane San Gennaro Obelisk.

[breadsoup00]

.

[bigwishes]

Big's Perma Bulk!

(Community Requested Story, about me perma bulking) What's good bros! It's your favourite wish granting genie here to go on my own transformation journey. Normally I send this kind of thing off to another writer but a lot of you wanted me to be transformation using my own Genie gifts so I've waved my hands and started it off.

I made sure to completely forget about what you guys wanted for me to make it even more surprising but considering all you lot drool at a bicep vein I think I'm in good hands.

After waking up I definitely didn't have anything to worry about. I knew all of you just wanted me to become some big sweaty himbo. Just take a look.

Big arms, thick thighs and a solid chest. I won't lie if I were to make a choice I would of ended up so much bigger than this but hey, it's what you all wanted to I guess I gotta get used to being a himbo stud.

Woah...I guess day two was a little different. I'm a lot bigger ladz so cheers for that but damn, some of this definition is starting to fade. It looks like I'm sliding more to the tank side of the spectrum that the stud side. I'm pretty sure if I move wrong this tank is gonna split in too and my fucking stomach won't stop rumbling, every time I walk in my kitchen I down half a box of cereal, fuck, I should probably take a couple sandwiches back to my desk before I load up some games with the boys.

'BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRPP'

aw fuck, sorry about that ladz but damn. I woke up this morning and my stomach feels so tight, it feels like my abs are about to split in half. My shorts are so tight around my ass.

Damn what the fuck did you guys wish to happen to me? A slab of muscle instead of abs is one thing but fuck my gut is so bloated, ah man

'UURRRRRRRRRRPP!!!'

whoops, sorry dudes, fuck this is so tight but I still feel hungry, maybe a protein shake and a bowl of rice wont gut, surely this can't get any tighter.

ahhh fuck what time is it? 3am?? why the fuck am I so hungry. I didn't even know it was possible to feel hungry and bloated at the same-

BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP

ah man, what do I have in the fridge, mmmmm half a pizza, well I'm sure a couple of slices won't hurt. I hit the gym pretty hard today, its probably my body wanting to fuel up. mmm yeah just 3 maybe 6 slices and I'll be good for the night, probably best to turn the light switch on so I don't make a mess...

w--what the fuck happened to me! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I'M SO FUCKING BULKY, OH FUCK

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPP

DAMN....fuck well....at least it doesn't jiggle, probably just bloated from how much I've been eating recently, who knew having such big muscles would make me so hungry all the time...

hmmm, I probably shouldn't leave just 3 slices of pizza in the fridge on their, own, that's not even a snack, 9 slices is alright at this time of night yeah?

On the bright side, my muscles have continued to blow up to freakish size, my bicep is bigger than most dude's heads. On the other hand....I can't shift this tank around my mid section. I've been trying to eat less to get my abs back but fuck I can't help it, my stomach growls and I gotta eat enough to feed at least 3 people or else it feels like my stomach is gonna eat itself. It's okay, Ill just cut when summer rolls around, use this time to grow as big as I can, bet my abs will look fucking insane in a few months/

Guess the bright side is I can order that nice chocolate cake with my pizza tonight...I'm pretty sure it's cheat night tonight, or was it last night? hmm, no yeah it is definitely tonight?

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP

ah fuck, wh- UUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRPPPPP

what happened - uurp - to me?

a few *hic* days ago I was a lean mean lifting machine

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPPPPPP

and now...fuck *hic* uuurp- I'm a big, bulky brute

fuu-UUUUUUUURPPPP-ck, my gut is so tight, moving feels like a chore....I'm so fuckin stuffed and hungry at the same time. Who knew my fans would want me to blow up into a 300lsb bulky beast...

damn...I need a shower but, I could really go for a double cheese burger and a snickers protein thick shake, I'm sure it can wait -uuurrpp- maybe I should grab a couple protein bars for the road..

BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP!!!!

I can still feel the spell under my skin, I wonder how much bigger these guys will make me, or what else they'll do...

[rumble-bea]

I’m actually SO upset rn man come ON why Leslie Jordan

[oneforthemunny]

🦇🪺🌀

mafia!eddie, baby fic, pets.

"Get them back, Gareth." Eddie growled, one hand wrapped around you, steadying you as carefully as he could while the other held the small carrier. Baby Bea nestled under the bounds of blankets, squishy features slumped in adorable sleepiness.

"Don't be mean to them, Ed, they're just excited." You pouted, looking over at your four boys, each on leashes, being held back by Max and Gareth.

Eddie had insisted they be leashed when you two came home, held back in case one got scared by the newest addition.

"I'm not being mean to them, baby. 'M talking to Gareth." Eddie hissed through gritted teeth, eyes narrowing in a threatening glare towards his friend.

"I got 'em, Munson. Relax." Gareth rolled his eyes, pulling Lucifer's leash gently so he sat back.

"Did you give them the blanket?" Eddie muttered, angling the carrier behind him gently, ready to step in front at the first sign of aggression.

"Yes." Max clicked.

"All of them? You made sure they all smelled it and didn't maul it or-"

"-Jesus Christ, Ed, yes." Max groaned. "We let them all smell it, and they didn't do anything. Just sniffed it and whined. No mauling, no growling, nothing."

Eddie glared at her, annoyed, but nodded curtly in what seemed like approval, maybe thanks. "Sweetheart, you need to sit down." Eddie muttered, his hand squeezing your arm gently.

"'M fine, Ed." You mumbled, letting him guide you towards the sofa anyways, still groggy with emotions and lack of sleep from the whirlwind that was the past three days.

"Just give me to her. I'll hold her." You hum, sitting down gently, Eddie's hands hovering over your waist, lowering you into the seat.

"I can hold her, baby-"

"-I can hold her." You pressed, firmer this time. "Just pass her to me."

Eddie hesitated, scanning the room before he took Bea out of her carrier, holding her in a stiff, uncertain grip that had the tiny baby wiggling uncomfortably, face scrunching with displeasure, the slightest cry coming out.

The dogs perched at attention, eyes wide, a little startled as they watched you take the tiny baby, soothing her in your hold.

"Ok, I'm ready." You settled, Eddie moving a throw pillow under your arms. "Let them come see me."

Gareth loosened his grip on the leash, Diablo jumping to his feet. Eddie's harsh click came before he could go much further. "Just-Just wait, ok. One at a time, and- hand me the fuckin' leash, Emerson."

You swallowed back a smile at Eddie's frazzled expression, brows pulled together, eyes hard with frantic worry. He wrapped the leash tight around his fist, kept it short as he led Diablo over to you. His grip was tight, eyes glued on the dog as he sniffed you, tail wagging with excitement when you petted him. His snout stopping to hover over the baby, sniffing her with uncertainty, ears perking when she gurgled.

Eddie's eyes widened, ready to yank the dog back and far away. Diablo's tail wagged faster, a quiet whine as the leash kept him from moving further.

Each of the dogs gathered at your feet, silently sniffing the new baby with curiosity as you rocked her.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

CYOA Chapter 55 Snippet (Already?! I know!)

Lily Evans: Well I thrive on order, so she's officially on my list. But I'm finishing in half an hour because I started early and Bea and I are going shopping on Oxford Street for the evening so I just wanted to catch you now while I have a sec to say good morning and I hope you have a beautiful day and also please when you are so inclined can you catch me up on how you're getting on with your self-improvement efforts because we haven't touched base on that in a couple of days. Apropos of absolutely NOTHING Kingsley told me after your chat on Saturday night that you should narrate erotic audiobooks. Just so you know.

James Potter: that's not the first time i've heard that

Lily Evans: Lol, really?

James Potter: yeah, loads not just audiobooks, meditation apps, asmr videos you name it, someone's told me i should do it i have a hot person voice

Lily Evans: He says, so casually.

James Potter: it is what it is evans i narrated like six student documentaries when i was in uni because people kept asking me to do them if you ring the it department from any sleekeazy office globally it's my voice that gives out the opening hours and says things like "press 1 if your call relates to a prior case etc etc" i once got dumped by an ex because she said i sound like i want to fuck everyone i talk to and she didn't want any of her mates to get the wrong idea when i met them eventually you start to catch on

Lily Evans: Jesus Christ. RE: the dumping thing, not the rest. The rest makes sense.

James Potter: you think so?

Lily Evans: I mean, it does get mentioned pretty often in your fan emails, but I didn't know you heard it so much from people IRL. Also, I have functioning ears.

[burntsaltsblog]

shiny new toy

(felix catton\reader)

chapter four

details: a saltburn inspired short story.

content warning: profanity, explicit sexual content, and mentions of abuse (physical and mental)

warning for this chapter: this chapter depicts explicit sexual content. if you are not an adult, DO NOT READ!!! the aftermath of physical violence (da) is also contained in this chapter.

MNI 18+

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　

The first thing I registered was the cold, hard floor beneath me. It did little to comfort my injuries, but it was the only proof I had that I wasn't dead. And that was surprising, considering the last thing I remember was Eric preparing to slit my throat. 

A myriad of voices rang from somewhere nearby. I vaguely recognized them, but I was already gripped by the darkness, which promised to drag me back to a peaceful slumber. 

"Damnit, Farleigh. I specifically told you and Venetia to keep an eye on her."

"I did! It's not my fault she wandered off."

"And why the fuck didn't you follow her? Christ, mate, this is exactly why I needed you to watch her."

"Well, she's your fucking toy. Why the hell weren't you watching her?"

"Don't call her that. It's not like that this time, and you know it."

"Oh, do I? Because so far, it is. Tell me, Felix, when will you grow tired of treating people like objects? Because I-"

"Enough. If you say one more word, I will personally ask my father to withdraw his invitation for you to spend the summer at Saltburn. Where will you go then, hm? You'll have to shack up with one of the teachers here you've blown."

"Fucking hell, will you two shut up? Your bloody bickering isn't going to help us find Iris. I'm going outside to check the yard. Farleigh, why don't you come with me? You, little brother, can search the rest of the house."

Silence filled the air before footsteps vibrated in different directions. A door squeaked before someone above me said my name in anguish.

"Iris? Jesus, what happened?"

Warm hands braced my upper body and rolled me onto my back. It took immense strength to crack my eyes open, but I was glad I did because I saw the one person I wanted more than anything.

"Felix?" I whispered through bloodied, cracked lips.

"It's me, darling. I'm here," he said, falling to the floor and pulling me onto his lap. I whimpered quietly and buried my face in his chest, inhaling his calming scent.

Felix consoled me, tightly wrapping his arms around me to ensure my safety. "Shh, it's ok, love; I've got you."

"Damn, what happened to your face?"

I weakly craned my neck to see Farleigh and Venetia standing in Marcus Ackerly's bathroom doorway, looking equally shocked and disturbed. I suppose Eric did a number on me for people to regard me in such a way. 

"Shut it, Farleigh," Felix uttered lowly, coming to my defense. "I'm going to take her to my room so you two can return to your previous activities."

Felix stood with me, still cradled against his chest, and murmured words of comfort as my sore body protested against the sudden shift. 

"Feel better, Iris," Venetia said as we passed her and Farleigh, still hovering by the door. A small smile graced her face, but Farleigh's remained unreadable. I smiled feebly in return before relaxing against Felix as he carried me away from them and out of the house.

The walk to Felix's dormitory was quiet, and I anxiously studied his expression. It was one of stone as he tensed his jaw and ground his teeth.

"Felix?" 

His face immediately softened as he looked down at me, concerned. "What is it, darling? Does something hurt?"

Technically, everything hurt. But I didn't want to say that out of fear that I'd worry Felix even more.

"I was wondering why you looked so mad. Did I do something wrong?" 

My thoughts were spiraling out of control, and I wondered if I was burdening him too much. After all, he was taking me back to his room, so I had, without a doubt, ruined his night. I'm sure he would much rather spend his evening with a woman who hadn't just got beaten to a pulp by her crazy ex-boyfriend.  

"No, sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong," he assured me. "Someone fucking hurt you, and it kills me that I wasn't there to protect you. I should've been there to protect you."

"No, don't blame yourself, Felix. You were busy with Ollie-"

"Exactly, I was busy entertaining the pathetic fantasy of a fucking lunatic and not staying with you like I was supposed to," he growled.

"What are you talking about? What happened with you and Oliver?"

"It doesn't matter now," Felix responded briskly as he kicked open the door to his room. 

He delicately sat me on his bed and put an arm on either side of my legs, caging me in. Felix's head dipped between his shoulders, and he took a moment before speaking to calm himself.

"Iris," he started lowly, almost inaudible. "Who did this to you?"

When I didn't respond, he lifted his head, and our gazes clashed: earthy brown against forest green. 

"Who did this to you? Who fucking hurt you?" His anger was rising, and I knew the only way to subdue him was to give him the answer he wanted. 

"Is it who I think it was?" he pressed. "Was it that piece of shit who wouldn't leave you alone?"

"Yes. It was Eric," I faintly confirmed as tears blurred my vision. My throat threatened to close, but I forced myself to continue.

"He was mad about the text. He'd been watching us all night, and then when he saw I was alone, he chased me into the bathroom and cornered me there, and-"

"Fuck," Felix swore harshly under his breath. 

I wanted to say more but refrained when he dropped his forehead to mine. 

"I need you to know how fucking sorry I am, darling. I never intended to abandon you like that. I should've known that Eric would try to pull something like this." 

Regret had infiltrated his voice before the tone became more confident. "Over my dead body, will that asshole ever come near you again." 

"Felix, please, don't talk like that," I begged, shrinking away due to the topic of his death. It was something I found too utterly painful to comprehend.

"I'm sorry, love. But I'm serious; he will regret ever touching you."

"What are you going to do?" I asked, nervous that Felix would try something stupid and risk his safety. Eric wasn't worth it. 

"Don't worry. I'll take care of everything," Felix mumbled as he traced a bruise on my cheek. 

To signal that the conversation was over, Felix stepped into his bathroom. A moment later, he reappeared, holding up a bottle of rubbing alcohol and a small towel. "I'm gonna clean you up, ok?"

I nodded my head, earning a smile from Felix. He doused the towel in alcohol before coming back to stand directly in front of me. "This might sting a bit. Just squeeze my hand if it hurts." 

Biting my lip, I grasped his empty hand and was comforted by his touch.

Felix began working carefully over my face. I did my best to mask my discomfort, but when it became too much, I squeezed his hand, and he promptly leaned down to kiss my head before whispering, "You're doing so well for me, love. I'm so proud of you."

He finished cleansing the gashes on my face before moving to my hands, arms, and legs, which were covered in minor cuts due to the broken glass from the shattered mirror. 

"Almost done—just a few more minutes. I gotta make sure these don't get infected. I need my girl healthy." 

My girl

The simple phrase had butterflies erupting in my stomach. They flew widely around, and I knew there was no chance of me calming them down. 

"All done," he announced, giving me one of his gentle smiles, which I'd grown to love so much. 

"Thank you. For everything. If it weren't for you, I'd still be passed out at Marcus' place." 

Felix's face hardened, and I knew he was recalling what it was like to discover me bloody and bruised. 

"When I found you, for a moment, I thought I had lost you forever. I can't even begin to describe how fucking terrifying that was. The mere idea of losing you is something I can't bare. I need you, Iris. I need you."

His eyes were frantic as they searched my face—for what, I'm not sure—but his stare added an intensity to the air and charged it with something neither of us fully understood. But it was enticing and intoxicating.

Felix held my face between his hands, and I reached up to cover them with my own as I promised him softly, "I'm here, Felix, and I'm ok."

He tenderly kissed my forehead, and his hands, almost hesitantly, settled on my waist. He paused for a moment to analyze my reaction before placing another kiss on my temple. Gradually, Felix worked down until his mouth was under my jaw. In a daze, my head lulled back, giving him access to my neck.

It didn't take him long to find my sweet spot just below my ear. He bit down briefly before darting his tongue out to soothe the area from his assault. I moaned breathlessly and gripped his shoulders, needing something to stabilize myself. 

Felix's hands dug into my hair, pulling at my scalp and eliciting a whine from my throat. "Felix, please. I want you."

He withdrew his face from where it was settled in the crook of my neck and appraised me with blown-out pupils. "Are you sure? You've been through a lot tonight, love and-"

"Felix, I need you." I interrupted, echoing his words from earlier. My desperation oozed off me as I stared at him, wide-eyed and pleading.

Felix was quiet for a moment before he nodded and traced a finger over my bottom lip. "Ok, sweetheart. I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of my girl." 

He leaned in and brushed his lips over mine agonizingly slow. I tilted my chin up, attempting to close the small gap between us, and he chuckled under his breath.

"Such a desperate girl."

Before I could reply, Felix firmly pressed his lips to mine, causing my thoughts to evaporate. My tongue slipped easily into his mouth, resulting in him groaning lowly. The sound traveled right to the spot between my legs that throbbed with immense need. I wrapped my arms around him, bringing him closer. But even with Felix tightly against me, I still craved more. I drew back just enough to grasp the top button of his shirt. "Off," I commanded. 

With a lazy grin, Felix stepped back and nimbly unbuttoned his shirt. He took his time shedding the material, and my eyes drank him in each second he revealed more of his toned chest. 

Once his shirt hit the floor, Felix reached for his belt buckle. The clang of metal caused my legs to snap shut and my thighs to rub together in search of friction. Felix raised a brow at me. "My needy girl looks like she's going to cum just sitting there."

I pouted at him and reached my hand out." I wanna to do it." 

Felix stared at my fussing nature before approaching me so I could touch him. "Ok, baby. You can do it. Be a good girl and unbuckle my belt."

I ruefully smiled as I wrapped my hands around the brown leather, tugging it away from his waist. I then made quick work of unzipping his jeans and dragging them down his thighs before he took over and kicked them off so they joined his shirt's place on the floor. 

My eyes grazed Felix's body in silent reverence. I was convinced he wasn't a human but, instead, a Greek God carved meticulously from stone; he had no flaw in sight. I lightly raked my hands down his chest before he took hold of them and placed them in my lap. I was momentarily confused before he began fiddling with the hem of my top. Then, his intentions became clear. 

Felix pulled my shirt over my head, and he immediately gaped at my breasts that were spilling out of my bra. He wasted no time in ripping it off and tossing it aside. 

"Beautiful," he murmured before he leaned forward and used his tongue to swirl over my right nipple.

"Oh my God," I breathed, raising my hand to curl around Felix's neck, urging him to continue. 

Felix dragged his tongue along my chest, between my breasts, and down my stomach until he reached the top of my skirt. 

"Stand up, love."

I groaned in protest before Felix harshly twisted one of my nipples. My core pulsed painfully as my eyes widened in surprise.

"Let's get one thing straight," Felix said, placing a hand under my chin so I had no choice but to meet his stern gaze. "When I give a command, I expect obedience. Do you understand?"

With glazed-over eyes, I nodded my head. Felix observed me as he ran his tongue over his lips. "That's what I thought. So be a good girl and stand up."

"Yes, sir." 

The words left my mouth before I realized it, and Felix's face darkened. "Fuck, I knew you were perfect for me." 

I rose to my feet, never breaking eye contact with him. He grabbed my hips, turned me around, and placed a hand on my back, pushing my upper body down. My cheek met his soft comforter as I felt my skirt ride up.

"I think this is in the way," Felix drawled as he eased down the zipper of my skirt and pulled the garment from my body. I turned to see his reaction as he took in the black lace panties I wore, the only clothing I had left. 

A string of curses left his mouth before he delivered a sharp slap to my ass that left behind a stinging sensation. I buried my face in his bedding and pushed my hips back.

Felix pulled my panties to the side, and I felt cool air hit my pussy. "You're fucking drenched, and I haven't even touched you yet," He said, running a finger through my slick folds. "Is this all for me, sweetheart?"

My arousal began dripping down my legs, and I moaned when I felt his tongue begin to lap it up. He licked up my legs and stopped right at my glistening entrance.

"Felix, please," I whined.

"I know, darling, I know," he mumbled, placing his hands on my ass and spreading me open. A soft cry left my mouth at being so exposed, but it was apparent I loved it due to the juices that ran from my pussy. 

Felix's tongue drew tight circles over my clit, and I couldn't stop the whimpers that left my mouth. He eased his finger past my swollen lips, and I clenched around his thick digit. 

"Fuck me, please, I begged. 

"If you want me to fuck you, you need to first cum on my face, Ok?"

Felix's words made my brain short-circuit, so I only nodded in response. He tutted at my reaction before withdrawing his finger and slapping my pussy. "Use your words, darling. What do you say?"

"Yes, sir," I cried.

Seemingly satisfied, Felix lightly pinched my sensitive bud between his fingers as he started fucking me with his tongue. I gripped his sheets tightly as if they were my lifeline. 

"So good," I mewled loudly. It occurred to me that I should probably be quiet on account of the other people living in this building, but the faster Felix's tongue worked in and out of my pussy, the less I cared about who heard. 

"Are you going to cum for me, love?" Felix asked, replacing his mouth with his fingers. Two of them eased into my sopping core and curled down, hitting a spot that had me practically sobbing my answer.

"Yes, sir."

Right as I came, Felix introduced his tongue back into my opening and fucked me through my climax. His thumb roughly worked my overstimulated clit as I gushed all over his face. Felix wasted no time in lapping up my juices, and I couldn't miss the way he groaned in appreciation when doing so. 

"Such a good girl, cumming all over my face, just like I told you to."

Felix's tongue lazily traced my entrance, but my overwhelmed state caused my legs to give out. I was thankful when he caught me.

"It's Ok, darling. I've got you," he said soothingly as he picked me up and gently laid me down on his bed. My head hit his pillow, and I gave a small sigh of contentment.

"Oh no. Don't get too comfortable, sweetheart. I'm not done with you yet." Felix said, leaning over me. His gold chain dangled in front of my face, and I watched it slowly swing back and forth, entranced. 

I snapped back to the present when Felix's fingers wrapped around the waistband of my panties, dragging them down my legs. He threw them over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on me. 

"Do you know how long I've thought about this? Having you naked in my bed, looking up at me with those big eyes, just begging me to ruin you." 

"Then do it, Felix. Ruin me."

My reply had him peeling his black boxers off of his body and revealing his cock, hard and already leaking pre-cum. He stroked himself a few times before reaching across the bed and searching his nightstand's top drawer. He pulled out a small, silver package, but I plucked it from his hold, surprising him.

"No, I want to feel you," I whispered.

Felix hesitated. "Are you sure? I know we're both clean, but-"

"Felix, I want to feel you, even when you cum. Especially when you cum."

My face heated at my admission, but I'd used my fingers to fuck myself too many times, thinking of Felix driving into me, raw and deep, before cumming right at the edge of my cervix, claiming me completely.  

"Jesus," Felix breathed, closing his eyes. "You're going to make me cum before I'm even inside you."

I bit my lip as I watched him spread my legs and stare at pussy, hopelessly clenched around nothing.

"What a pretty cunt. All wet and swollen. Just begging to be stretched with my cock."

Felix lined himself up at my entrance, nudging my clit and causing me to whine impatiently. I bucked my hips, silently pleading for him to fuck me.

Finally, he entered me in a long thrust; I turned my head from side to side as unintelligible words left my mouth. I knew his size was impressive, but nothing could have prepared me for how my walls stretched to accommodate him. 

"It's Ok, sweet girl. I know," Felix said as he circled my clit, giving me pleasure to combat the pain.

"You're so big," I cried, breathless.

"But you can take it, darling. You can take it for me."

Felix's praise caused me to squeeze around him, and I watched his face tense. "So fucking tight, "he groaned. "So fucking perfect for me."

After being able to take all of Felix without much discomfort, he slowly drew out before thrusting back in. My back arched, and he took the opportunity to pinch one of my nipples. I mindlessly moaned and wrapped my legs around his waist so I could take him deeper. 

Felix soon found a steady rhythm in which he fucked me. Our cries clashed in the air, and through my hazy vision, I threaded my hands in his hair, dragging his mouth down to mine. Our tongues danced together in a passionate kiss, and it only drove me higher toward my inevitable orgasm. 

"I'm close," I gasped.

Felix smirked, driving into me harder. "Yeah? You gonna come around my cock, sweetheart?"

I openly wept as Felix wrapped a hand around my neck, applying pressure to just the right spot. 

"God, you're just fucked dumb, aren't you? My girl only knows my cock and nothing else."

"Please," I cried. It wasn't a descriptive word, but Felix understood what I needed.

The pressure around my neck increased, causing a light-headed sensation. Felix pressed his other hand on my lower stomach, causing my eyes to roll back and my mouth to hang open. 

"That's it, pretty girl. You're doing so well. You're gripping me like a fucking vice."

Felix's words drove me over the edge. My cry was guttural, and I clenched around him, causing him to omit a low groan as he reached his own climax. He thrust in one final time, coating my walls with his seed in thick, hot ropes. 

Eyes closed, I fell into a satiated state. My body was numb, yet I could feel every single nerve ending. I was barely awake as Felix pulled out, whispering soft words of praise the entire time. "You did so good for me, my love. I'm so proud of you."

As I registered his words, a faint smile crossed my lips. I glowed under Felix's compliments. 

I heard him walk around his room before feeling him spread my legs. But this time, it was to clean me up with a towel. 

Eventually, a blanket was draped over my body, and Felix pulled me against him in a warm embrace. I rested comfortably on his chest; his steady heartbeat was the perfect lullaby that lulled me to sleep. 

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼ ✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　

chapter index

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

[deprivedmusicaljunkie]

i am so happy that now in year 2024 hozier has clearly established boundaries and i’ll never have to watch a random interviewer uncomfortably hit on him ever again :)

[birgittesilverbae]

MARTIAN AU??????? I am preparing to go absolutely feral over it. I cannot WAIT.

have a snique pique

//

Bea's crying, tears streaming fast down her cheeks. Ava wants to comfort her, longs to comfort her, but there's the teeny tiny little problem of the gaping hole in her side that she should probably deal with first.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Commander, you'd think you were the one who'd been stabbed." It's crass, irreverent, far too harsh, but it does the job nicely, snaps Bea back into alertness.

"I'm not the Commander anymore." Bea gets an arm under Ava's and helps her shift the last few feet into the Hab.

"Oh?" The movement jars Ava, but she grins around the pain. "Taking on a new title? Queen of the Martians? Duchess of Acidalia Planitia?"

"Lord of the O-rings," Bea replies absently, securing the inner airlock hatch. Her footsteps pause, and Ava glances over to find her staring down at the streak of blood Ava has left across the Hab floor.

"Better out than in, I always say," Ava quips.

Bea pinches the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. "Ava–"

"Could use a little help here, Commandant."

"Not the Commander."

"How am I supposed to commit to my bits if you ruin them all in one fell swoop?"

"If my ceding command to Lilith ruins every single one of your jokes, it might be that you're just not that funny."

[the-darkness-does-not-bargain]

19:14, A: So, fancy party at your parent’s place tonight, right?

19:16, B: Not at their estate, no.  They rented out a ballroom in London.

19:17, A: Bougie as hell 😩.  You going?

19:17, B: I have to.  I’m expected to help them show a united front.

19:18, A: United front?  Are they planning on mugging someone?

She snorted softly, helplessly charmed by his choice of words.

19:18, B: Nothing so dramatic.  It’s just a militant euphemism.

19:19, A: Damn, I thought you were gonna aikido some fools into submission.

Smirking, her fingers danced across the screen, sending a response before she could second guess herself.

19:19, B: Of course not.  I’m waiting to do that to you.

19:21, A: Jesus Christ, Bea 😳

19:21, B: Did I say something wrong?

19:22, A: No!  I just didn’t expect it 😳  Can you come home now?

19:22, B: Sadly not.  But if you’re a good boy while I’m gone, maybe I’ll do more than just that.

19:23, A: You’re domming me even through my phone, unbelievable 🥴

19:23, B: Do you like it?

19:23, A: Of course I do, Bea.  You’ve got me so fucked up right now.

Her entire body felt warm, just like it had on the night they met.  His words made her feel confident in a way few things could.  They teased and enticed her to keep the conversation going, see how far they were both willing to go with it.

“Beatrice, the guests will be arriving soon!”

But of course, something had to come along and spoil it.  She sighed and looked up to where her mother was waving for her attention.  “I’ll be right there,” she called, before staring down at her phone and puzzling over what to say now.

19:24, B: I have to go.  The party is about to start.

19:24, A: Damn, you’re gonna leave me wound up like this?

19:25, B: I’m sure you’ll survive 😌

19:25, A: Can I ask you for one thing before you go?

19:26, B: What is it?

19:26, A: 🥺👉👈  Can I see what you’re wearing?

19:26, B: Really?

19:26, A: Yes!  Only if you want to, though.  Tell me to fuck off if you don’t.

She looked down at herself, taking in the dark blue satin of her dress and the way it hugged her curves.  It only had one strap, a thick one over her left shoulder bedecked in small, sewn jewels.  An exorbitant waste of money in every sense, but… If he was that interested…

She struggled for a minute to get the angle right, but with a simple snap, it was done.  She looked at the photo briefly to make sure it wasn’t blurry, and then sent it before her self-consciousness could get the better of her.

19:28, A: Holy shit, Bea

19:28, B: Good?

19:29, A: More than good.  Fuck.  You look amazing 🤯

19:29, B: I suppose my mother will be pleased.  But I would prefer something more comfortable.

19:30, A: I’m sorry.  I feel ya, though.  Me and dresses don’t really go together, if you can imagine that 😉

19:30, B: I can hardly fathom it.  But I really do need to go now, before my mother comes to summon me again.

19:30, A: Okay.  Go knock 'em dead.  Literally or metaphorically, I leave up to you.

19:31, A: And keep an eye on your phone, ok?  I believe in equal trades 😏