#jessica if u happen to see this i think u were there lmk if u remember this

[roylustang]

extremely not-well-remembered vent post about something that happened when I was like 8 under the cut

I suddenly remembered this happened to me and it keeps popping up in my head and I want to get it out or something idk

so I was at the summer day-camp version of the latchkey program of my elementary school one day and we were all playing in the gym like recess-style free time. I remember I walked up to a group of kids and asked if I could play with them (idr what they were doing) and they straight up said ‘no’. I was like kind of shocked and i don’t remember what my exact reaction was but it was probably along the lines of ‘well I don’t want to play with a bunch of assholes anyway’ kind of thing. So I just walked away and started playing some game with my main group of friends at the time.

Then another girl came up to our group and asked if she could play with us. I don’t remember what our reason was but we also told her no. The reason could’ve been anything from that I was still feeling petty from what just happened to me to she just couldn’t play with us right this moment because we were in the middle of a round of whatever game we were playing I literally do not remember. But then she snitched on us for not letting her join.

So naturally the adult in charge came and basically put us in a time out and we all had to sit really far apart from each other on the bleachers. I was sitting on the farthest end of the bleachers. When the time was up I saw her go to my friend on the other side of the bleachers and she talked to her for a minute and then let her go, and then she did that with my two other friends but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I assumed she was just lecturing them about exclusion and whatever and then letting them go. So when she got to me I was prepared for a mini lecture and then to be let go.

But instead she sat down next to me and asked me some version of the question “What would you do/How would you feel if you were excluded from something?” and my dumb 8-year-old ass didn’t realize she was looking for a Specific Answer. Instead, my brain went “oh I know exactly what I would do because /this literally happened to me 30 minutes ago/” and I thought she wanted like, honesty, because usually adults want you to be honest so I straight up said ‘I would be sad but I would go find other people to play with’ because that’s exactly what I did. And then she kept me in time out for even longer because that wasn’t the answer she was looking for and then I realized immediately what she wanted from me. Also i was embarrassed because I was the only one of my friends that apparently got that answer wrong. 

After I told her the Right Answer and got out of time out I was so fucking mad at everybody. I was mad at those kids who excluded me for not getting in trouble for it, I was mad at myself for not snitching on /them/ lol and also not realizing there was a Right Answer i had to give, I was mad that that girl snitched on us and then fucking went and played with other people anyway and I had to watch her do that while I was in time out like bitch?? what was the point even, and I was mad that I was so blatantly punished for telling the truth. 

thats all