#jennifer's body and red eye in particular i love to the moon and back. but they are time capsules

[konakoro]

The 4 movies I watched during adolescence that formed my taste in movies, for better AND for worse (mostly worse)

[buckybarnesbingo]

As part of our Discord party, we took song recs!  Here are some excellent, Bucky-flavored tunes!

My Body Is a Cage - Arcade Fire  (@blurockets)

Control - Halsey  (@writing-mermaid)

Summer Rain - Belinda Carlisle  (@fightingforcreativity)

This song just screams Bucky's story before the whole hydra thing to me. he was happy, struggling with life but happy with his friend/love had plenty fun and survived. Then he is send out and he's still saying he'll be back but he doesn’t want to go. and he never came back in the end. Because the person coming back after is not Bucky from before anymore.

Behind Blue Eyes - The Who  (@polizwrites)

Take Me Home - Ryan Dolan  (LiquidLightz)

We Three (My Echo My Shadow And Me) - The Inkspots  (@blurockets)

An Oldie that you could go into thoughts of identity and how there are sort of three facets to Bucky. The Echo prewar and maybe during war, my shadow ws and Me and it's also just pretty.

In Chains - Shaman's Harvest  (@menatiera​)

Whole Again - Granian  (@27dragons)

This song is about recovering from trauma (and the pressure that well-meaning friends can put on you to recover faster without really helping, or maybe that's just my interpretation).

More under the cut!

In Case You Don't Live Forever - Ben Platt  (@aoifelaufeyson​)

The Becoming - Nine Inch Nails  (@blurockets)

It's part of the Downward Spiral and that whole Nine Inch Nails is a concept album following a guy that falls into a spiral of drugs and things that culminate into a breakdown and well death

Stand By You - Rachel Platten  (@writing-mermaid)

Losing Your Memory - Ryan Star  (@rebelmeg)

The whole song has strong post-Cap2 vibes.  But there’s one particular part that talks about Montauk in the winter, that makes me think of freshly un-Hydra’d Bucky visiting one of the beaches in NY that he remembers being at with Steve when they were kids, struggling to catch more wisps of memory while he stands there on the shore.

New York - Snow Patrol  (LiquidLightz)

Stucky feels... Bucky thinking of Steve

Older - Ben Platt  (@aoifelaufeyson​)

We'll Meet Again - Vera Lynn (@rebelmeg)

Another one with Bucky remembering, haunted by a song he knows he’s heard before, and all kinds of faces and voices in his mind that he can’t quite place.

I Am Machine - Three Days Grace  (@pherryt)

Kill Our Way To Heaven - Michl  (@tisfan)

Nightmare - Set It Off  (@menatiera​)

This another Bucky & Winter, just the angsty version where Bucky is terrified of his "monster" self and would very much like to run away from it but can't

Demons - Imagine Dragons  (LiquidLightz)

Through The Long Night - Billy Joel  (@polizwrites)

This has major Stucky feels for me

Lost n Paradise - Evanescence  (@lbibliophile-mcu​)

I Know Places - Taylor Swift  (@writing-mermaid)

Clearly it's about people trying to runaway from people that are chasing them. I started to write a story inspired by that song

Bad Guy - Billie Eilish  (@aoifelaufeyson​)

Hey You - Pink Floyd  (@blurockets)

Imagine like a weird hallucinatory sequence that ends with Bucky being thrown into cryo

Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive  (@phoenixgryphon)

well you can tell by the way I use my walk i'm a hydra man no time to talk

Breathe Me In - Jared and the Mill  (@pherryt)

Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd  (@polizwrites)

Pink Floyd song that gives me Bucky/Stucky feels

Cat People - David Bowie  (@phoenixgryphon)

See these tears so blue / An ageless heart that can never mend / These tears can never dry / A judgment made can never bend / See these eyes so red / Red like jungle burning bright / Those who feel me near / Pull the blinds and change their minds

In the Mood - Glenn Miller  (@phoenixgryphon​)

The Sun Will Rise - Kelly Clarkson  (@writing-mermaid)

She's my favorite singer and I wrote a story based on that song, I think this is a pretty optimist song that shows that even if something bad happened, the next day can be brighter and the light will chase the darkness.

Talk Dirty To Me - Jason Derulo ft. 2 Chainz  (@aoifelaufeyson​)

Coming Back to You  -  Jennifer Warnes via Leonard Cohen  (@polizwrites)

My first Stucky fic (Another Mile of Silence) was based on this song

Slip - Elliot Moss  (@blurockets)

The Unforgiven - Blakwall  (@psychiccatpanda​)

Bucky Nat where they are so close to something good but because of the nature of their wonky memories it doesn't quite happen.

A Monster Like Me - Mørland & Debrah Scarlett  (@writing-mermaid)

Another song that inspired me for a story. It's about someone that made horrible things when he was younger, telling his love one to go away because he's a monster.

Coney Island - Antje Duvekot  (LiquidLightz)

preWar Bucky, Stucky feels

Dancing Queen - Abba  (@phoenixgryphon​)

Sleeping Sickness - City and Colour  (@blurockets)

Post WS Stucky Especially with that movies theme of things breaking down.

I've become / A simple souvenir of someone's kill / And like the sea / I'm constantly changing from calm to ill / Madness fills my heart and soul as if the great divide could swallow me whole / oh how I'm breaking down

Song of Bernadette - Leonard Cohen, cover by Jennifer Warnes  (@polizwrites) 

a WinterIron song for me — tho I ended up using a line from it for a   Tony/Bruce fic.

Sugar, Sugar - The Archies  (@phoenixgryphon​)

Believer - Imagine Dragons  (LiquidLightz)

recovering WS Bucky

Dark Side - Kelly Clarkson  (@writing-mermaid)

When We Were Young - Adele  (LiquidLightz)

Bucky recovering , Stucky feels

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons  (@writing-mermaid)

Nightmare - Set It Off  (@menatiera​)

This another Bucky & Winter, just the angsty version where Bucky is terrified of his "monster" self and would very much like to run away from it but can't

The Phoenix - Fall Out Boy  (LiquidLightz)

angry anti-Hydra WS Bucky

Animal - The Cab  (LiquidLightz)

sexy WS

Dyin' Ain't So Bad - Bonnie and Clyde (Original Broadway Cast Recording)  (@book-dragon-13)

Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy - The Andrews Sisters  (@rebelmeg)

This one just screams Bucky!  Especially the part about the Cap going out and grabbing him a band!

Behind Blue Eyes - L'Orchestra Cinematique  (@menatiera)

Firework - Katy Perry  (@phoenixgryphon)

Ghost Story - Charming Disaster  (@blurockets)

stucky imagine an iw war au where after the snap everyone snapped is a dimension off only the slightest bit so it feels like people in a shares space are haunting each other

Lone Digger - Caravan Palace  (@ibelieveinturtles)

Shadow on the Wall - Mike Oldfield  (@fightingforcreativity​)

for over 70 years Bucky has been nothing but a weapon, a toy, a shadow of himself. something like that leaves traces and that sometimes you don't feel like much of anything anymore. So when he starts to remember, starts to have flashes of what he did and he has this one person standing up for him, tearing the world apart for him, he tethers himself to them like their shadow on the wall. Building his own prison, the prison which follows the person helping him whoever that is

A Bad Dream - Keane  (@menatiera​)

Secret - Heart  (@fightingforcreativity​)

this is a winteriron or pre war stucky song for me. Because Bucky no matter which pairing I look at in that situation feels like they can't be out. stucky: because of the homophobia back then 

WinterIron: because they're supposed to be enemies sort of and Tony and Steve are standing at two different sides of the line, the line to which end Bucky had sworn to follow steve

Deliverance - The Mission U.K.  (@ibelieveinturtles​)

Most of what I have for Bucky is specific to fics I'm writing but I think this is a good one too

Red - Nightcore male version, original from Beth Crowley  (@menatiera​)

this is my post-WS angry Bucky to-go song

All Along The Watchtower, Bear McCreary (Battlestar Galactica version)  (@ibelieveinturtles​)

this one is from a dragon!Bucky fic I'm determined to finish one day...

Bring Me To Life - Evanescence  (@psychiccatpanda​ and @lbibliophile-mcu​)

Holding Out For A Hero - Bonnie Tyler  (@ibelieveinturtles​)

Hollow - Icon For Hire  (@fightingforcreativity​)

This is kinda self-explanatory considering that the song is about mental health

Not alone - RED  (@menatiera​)

this is kind of the song I often base my Bucky & Winter relationship to each other, how they worked through hell to keep each other alive and how they relied on each other. Mostly this is Bucky reassuring Winter and keeping him, well, human, by being there for him in his head.

Whisper - Evanescence  @lbibliophile-mcu

Memories - Within Temptation  (@fightingforcreativity​)

A song about memories, keeping ghosts alive and yet not really

On Every Street - Dire Straits  (@dreaminglypeach​)

More Steve looking for Bucky post WS, but still. 

 three cord symphony crashes into space / the moon is hanging upside down / don’t know why it is I’m still on the case / it’s a ravenous town / you still refuse to be traced / seems to me such a waste / and every victory has a taste that’s bittersweet / and it’s your face I’m looking for on every street

Chlorine - Twenty One Pilots  (@aoifelaufeyson​)

It’s My Life - Bon Jovi  (LiquidLightz)

[imdifferentshadesofpurple]

the Color of Fate.

Pairing: Mark Tuan x Reader Genre: Um. I’m gonna go with fluff (though I felt angsty while writing it lol).

A/N: I was supposed to be writing something completely different but this just...took over. I’m not sure where it came from lol but enjoy nonetheless. xoxo

Every time you meet, he’s a stranger.

Even though there’s a pull, a tether between you both, he never knows your name when you bump into him on the subway.

Or reach for the same book in the library.

Hundreds of years and he still wears a confused yet gentle smile when you say hello and introduce yourself.

This time, it’s Valentine’s Day.

It’s 2018 and instead of hand written notes left wedged in mailboxes, people text their feelings or attach a gif of blooming flowers to an email.

When you had seen him last, it was 2004 and he was only twelve, shy but curious as he rolled along on his new skateboard. 

Seeing him now, handsome at twenty four, the walls of your heart constrict and you want to cross the street and latch onto his hand. You stop yourself, you have to every single time you happen upon him, and remember he doesn’t know you. 

He never knows you.

With every reincarnation, he forgets the time spent together, the memories that came along with that particular life.

You’re the only one that can hold onto what once was. 

You clutch tightly to the lapel of your coat, the chill of the approaching evening running through your body. You let yourself stare from your seat outside the café, coffee in front of you going unnoticed as soon as he laughs.

His laugh is always the same. Loud and high pitched, full of teeth.

You chuckle lightly under your breath when you remember 1892 and the endless laughter you shared on a beach in Taiwan during a birthday trip his parents had surprised him with.

Even then, you were strangers. It was simply luck that brought you there.

It’s always luck when you bump into him, if luck was the right word.

You’re never sure why it’s him, never bothered to actually find out. All you knew was that you couldn’t age. Couldn’t die. And at some random moment in time, the universe brings you to him.

You meet. You become friends. You fall in love. He dies. You don’t.

It was an endless and vicious cycle, one you came to realize was unavoidable. 

You were always brought together, always. No matter how many times you avoided him, cried yourself to sleep because you knew you had to stay away, you found yourself in front of him.

You had tried, once upon a time, to remove yourself from the equation. You were convinced it was your fault and sought to rid yourself from the world. 

As a doctor, he had refused to let you go.

After all this time, you had come to accept it.  The cycle that would always continue. The pain that came with loving and losing him. 

Your gaze lingers on his blonde hair, the brown from before nowhere to be seen. He’s wrapped up in hoodie too big for him but seemingly the perfect fit, fingers disappearing into the sleeves everytime his arms go down.

He’s with friends, six of them you recognize.

With every life, the seven of them were clustered together, bond so tight that no amount of time or space could separate them.

Jaebum slings an arm around him and you remember what he was like at eleven, gaze cold as he tried to protect his best friend from bullies. 

Even as you watch his grin widen and eyes form half moons on his face, you can see his hold tighten against the fabric of the hoodie, as if to be a shield against anything that could hurt his friend. 

Your ringtone snaps you away from your trance like state and you see it’s time to go, taking one last sip from the mug you barely touched, leaving something extra behind for the lovely waitress that served you. 

You join the hoard of people crossing the street, shoulders brushing against shoulders as you find yourself passing the very thing that had stolen your attention in the first place. 

You do your best to ignore the pull, the thin red thread binding you both together throughout the spans of time, gritting your teeth as you angle your head down.

You’re almost far enough, you can feel the buzz in your veins die down, until a voice calls out.

“Miss! Excuse me!”

Breath catching forcibly in your throat, you turn and are face to face with the boy you’ve loved for, quite literally, forever.

“Y-yes?”

He smiles and you feel faint. “You dropped this, it fell right out of your sleeve.”

You look down to see his hand clutching the bracelet you swore was on your wrist just moments ago, the bright red of it standing out against his fingers.

A gift, braided together under an oak tree, promises of forever and true love whispered into the night sky.

A gift tied around your wrist the year you found out you would no longer age.

It was the only thing he had ever given you, the only thing that kept you from truly going insane.

“T-thank you. It’s very precious to me, I would’ve been devastated if I lost it.”

“You’re welcome. I couldn’t just leave it be right there on the sidewalk. Here, let me...”

He gently takes your hand in his, pulling the sleeve of your coat back before carefully tying your bracelet back on your wrist. There are dozens of people moving past on the sidewalk, swift movements around you both as they try to get to their destination.

But you feel as if time has stopped, air knocked from your lungs as you watch him. It feels like this every time you first meet.

Strangers. Until you aren’t. 

“There,” he whispers gleefully, grinning at his handiwork, “safe and sound.”

His eyes meet yours and there’s a flash of something -- recognition if you were being hopeful.

You hope the smile on your face is casual, “Thank you again. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been so kind.”

A slight pink color rises on his cheeks and your heart flutters at the sight. He scratches at the nape of his neck, as if embarrassed. “Really, it’s nothing. I’m glad I was able to get it back to you. Keep it close, not everyone is as nice as I am. You may drop it and never see it again.”

You chuckle and bring your hand up to your chest, “I’ll remember that. Um. I hope you have a good day. And thank you. Again.”

You turn, shutting your eyes and inhaling slowly, before walking away. 

Jackson, still as loud as when he was ten, asks him if he’s just going to let you get away. It reminds you yet again of another life, more moments you hold dear. 

You will yourself to move, to resist the fierce urge to hold him. To kiss him. To tell him you miss him and want nothing more than to be by his side.

You try to resist. But he’s always been persistent.

And the universe never lets the first meeting be the last.

“Wait! Please wait!”

Your heartbeat quickens and you pretend not to hear him, dodging bodies as you see your car come into view.

“Wait!”

Keep walking.

“Wait! Miss, wait! Please!”

My heart will hurt if I wait.

He catches up to you, hand on your shoulder gentle yet demanding you to turn.

You feign surprise as you face him again, cheeks now flushed from exertion instead of embarrassment. “Um. Did...did you need something?”

“Y-yes just -- hang on I’m -- wow I thought I was in better shape than this. Going to the gym doesn’t seem to be working.”

You laugh suddenly and he seems pleased to have been the reason. 

You can’t help it, he always makes you laugh.

“Your name. I wanted to know your name. My friends think I’m an idiot for letting you walk away so here I am, asking for your name. And if you like french fries.”

“Who doesn’t like french fries?”

He shrugs, “You’d be surprised. Potatoes in any form aren’t always a thing for people.

“Those people must feel so lost.” “If only we could help them, spread the potato love.”

You’re biting your lip now, grinning crazily. “I like french fries. And my name is Y/N. Yours?”

You know what it is, it’s etched onto your heart like a tattoo, but he’s a stranger and you have to play along.

And you’d never admit that when he says it, it makes you feel something, an indescribable something that never gets old.

“Hi Y/N. I’m Mark Tuan. Would you like to go get some fries?”

You should say no.  All these years, the cycle continues.

But you loved him.

And soon you wouldn’t be strangers.

So you say the same thing you always say.

“Yes.”

“I met a boy whose eyes showed me that the past, present and future were all the same thing.” - Jennifer Elisabeth

[thorne93]

Unexpected Guest (Part 1)

Prompt: Imagine working a party and seeing a mysteriously handsome man who captures your entire attention. There’s one catch: you’re engaged to a different man.

Warnings: angst, fighting, negative relationships, flirting, language, smoking (cigs? Is that even a warning? idk)...

Word Count: 3078

Notes: Inspired by Gorgeous - Taylor Swift...Beta’d by my amazing @like-a-bag-of-potatoes. I’m so blessed to call you a friend, love. OFC/OC Jeremy

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please@superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Putting the finishing touches on your hair and looking over your daring bright red dress in the mirror, you smiled in approval at the outfit. You were donning a red, form fitting cocktail dress that had a see through sash sweep train, the sash train nearly reaching the floor, landing just above your bright red heels to match. Unfortunately, you didn’t have a good necklace to match but you did have earrings so you popped those in, did another once over, and went out to the living room of your shared home with your fiance.

“So what do you think?” you asked, stepping in front of the tv and twirling, playing with the sash a bit.

Jeremy, your fiance, grunted and tried to peer around you, waving you to move from his sight. “What the hell, Y/N? I’m trying to watch this.”

“So pause it,” you tried. “How do I look?” you asked, your ego already deflated and at this point not really giving a shit what he thought.

He frowned angrily and looked at you as if you just interrupted the biggest business deal of the year. He whipped his face to your body for half a second. “You look fine.” His eyes shot back to the screen before asking, “Where you going?”

“I told you this every day this week, I’m going to a party for Nicholas Hamilton. We’re catering...for the It party?” you said as a reminder, your voice going up to try and trigger some remembrance.

He barely shrugged.

You sighed. “Good night. I’m not sure how long the party will run, but we’re supposed to be catering and serving alcohol all night so don’t wait up,” you informed as you grabbed your clutch. “If you could, do the dishes, please.”

“Yeah, yeah. Have fun at your shower,” he called as you went out the door, his remark making you roll your eyes. His behavior wasn’t atypical. This was normal for him to not know what you were doing, or where, or when. You would tell him and he’d forget or just flat not listen. For the past three years since you’ve been engaged, you’ve chalked it up to him not wanting to be involved with the girly part of your life or the infamous myth that “men never listen”.

You hopped in your car and drove through LA to the home of Nicholas, to meet your team. You had a team of around eleven people for this party. It was a simple, typical Los Angeles house party. He expected one hundred guests, so you would accommodate that with two bartenders, five servants--three circulating the party, two on standby at the buffet to serve--and you had five cooks back at the restaurant to prepare it all. You didn’t need to be at this party, per se, but being a control freak, it certainly helped your nerves to know that your staff was doing their best and that the food looked and tasted perfectly.

On this particular party, you didn’t prepare any of the food, but they were all your recipes and creations, but you trusted your chefs fully to prepare this food. Typically, you would help, but in this case you just wanted to oversee the event.

You finally arrived at the home, just in time to see the team unloading the trays of food, utensils, flatware, and glassware.

“Oh good, you’re on time,” you breathed as you rushed up to your staff.

“Of course we’re on time,” Jeff responded with a scoff, one of the young servers you’d hired. He was a definite asset to your team.

“Well I was just--” you started before a chorus of workers cut you off.

“Worried.”

“Yeah, we know,” your best friend and top employee, Ida, stated as she grabbed a tray, her raven hair pulled up in a sleek bun. “You don’t have to fret. We know how to do this,” she assured.

“I know but I just can’t help it,” you reminded, slightly wringing your hands. “Have you all been inside yet?”

“Nope, just got here,” Jeff informed.

“Ah, great.” At that, you ran up the sidewalk to the front door and rang the bell. Nicholas answered, greeting you with a smile and a hug.

“You’re here! Awesome!” he said opening the door.

“Absolutely! Where would you like us to set up?” you questioned.

“I’ll show you. Come on,” he said, gesturing inside the moderately sized home. You led the way for your staff of seven through the house to a fairly large kitchen with an island and plenty of counter space. “So use whatever space you need. If you need anything, let me know. The party will start in about an hour so…”

“Thank you,” you said sweetly. “And thank you again for picking us to cater the event.”

He shrugged. “Hey, your food is freakin’ awesome. That stuff was like crack on set. I knew I had to have you again.”

“Well thank you again. We’ll get everything set up and warming,” you informed as the staff filed past you with trays, dishes, and a myriad of other goods. “Okay, Ryan, put that tray over there. Jennifer, could you start the warming trays--”

“Y/N, stop,” Ida commanded softly. “We know what we’re doing. How about we set up and you can correct us if you don’t like it?”

It took you a second to concede, a little unwilling to relinquish power but you nodded. Everyone seemed to relax by a fraction and they set to work. You watched them, quietly, observing how they set it up, how fast it took, if they did it properly and in a sanitary manner. So far they were doing everything exactly as you would want done. The hors d'oeuvres were arranged neatly and in an appealing manner. The main dishes were on their warming trays. The plates, glasses, and utensils were arranged perfectly. The bartenders got set up with their glasses, tumblers, and a small bar that you’d purchased. It was a collapsable sort of bar, but it was sturdy and well made. This way, it gave the real feeling of being at a bar, and the bartender could keep an eye on his glasses, the alcohol, and tips. All the while, the crew was back and forth from the van, bringing in more of everything.

About thirty minutes later, a DJ showed up. He was actually one of the hotter DJs in LA right now. You only knew this because you’d seen him at a few of the events your company catered, and being one of the top  three caterers in the city was a good indicator you were at all the right events.

Though being at all of these glamorous parties, it didn’t have the effect on you it might have other people. You hardly ever watched TV or movies. You never went to the theater, you didn’t binge Netflix, you didn’t rent redbox, you didn’t have Hulu. Every once in a blue moon, you’d watch a movie, if you’d seen the trailer for a movie that was spectacular, but typically you didn’t watch anything. Instead, you read or you were working on recipes. You didn't have a lot of time for much of anything else, and if you did, you didn’t use that time for it.

In a way, it was a blessing. Because if you knew who these people were, what they played in, it might make you act differently. Like being star struck, and you didn’t want to be that way. You knew a lot of actors, actresses, directors, or producers names. You knew most of the “big” ones, the ones people could only ignore if they lived under a rock, such as George Clooney, Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie...But even then, you held your composure. If you worked directly with a big name in Hollywood, they quickly turned into any other customer: what food do they want, where and when do they want it. The whole mystique of the title of being an actor or director fell away when you were working on how many shrimp cocktails they wanted.

So when Nicholas reached out for this party, you were pleasantly surprised. You’d catered for the set of It for about three weeks towards the end of filming, but that was nearly a year ago now. You’d brought them lunch every day, and got to see a glimpse of the magic happening for that movie. Now, Nicholas was throwing a party one week before the premiere.

Part of you wanted to see it because you’d read the book long ago, part of you didn’t care if you never saw it. In fact, you weren’t sure who played the clown. You knew most of the kids because they would storm the food table as soon as the director let them loose for lunch and you often joked around with them, but the clown would stand up, stare at you for a moment, which usually creeped you the fuck out, then he would disappear. You always assumed he just went to get out of makeup or went to take a rest because he never approached the table to get food, at least while you were there.

The party had just started, with people filling in quickly, heading straight for the food. You made sure to get the hell out of the way as people grabbed plates and glasses and filled up on food and drink then set out to mingle in the house or out in the medium back yard with pool and patio. It made you fill with pride and happiness to see people take bites of your food and light up.

After about an hour and a half into the party, and you mingling with some of the younger actors you’d met on set, along with other people you’d never met, a man showed up at the party. He was tall and lanky, but he took your breath away. He was absolutely gorgeous with dark hair and eyes that made it impossible for you to move. He entered the house, his eyes scanning the party before they landed on yours, and when they did, a small smile touched his face. He nodded to you before setting off through the throng of people.

Your jaw was hanging open. You weren’t sure what had just happened. That man had completely captivated you, but you were sure you’d never seen him before. No, eyes and a face like that you would’ve remembered. Your eyes were glued to his back as he made his way out to the back yard.

Finally, you regained composure and went back into the kitchen where Ida was refilling one of the platters. You stood against the counter, speechless, as Ida saw you out of the corner of her eye.

“You look like you saw a ghost. What’s up?” she questioned before turning her attention back to her task.

“This guy...He...I don’t know. He just walked in and he looked right at me and…Ida, he was gorgeous,” you said in a breathy voice.

She chuckled lightly. “That good, huh? You need to pick your drooling chin off the floor though. You have a fiance,” she reminded.

Just then, you remembered, you did. How awful of a person were you that a pretty face made you entirely forget about the man waiting at home for you? Even if Jeremy was sometimes a passive dick, he didn’t deserve what you’d just done. You shook your head, the self loathing starting to wash over you.

As soon as Ida stepped away, you went back to mingling, subtly asking people if they enjoyed the food and nearly illuminating from head to toe when they raved about it. Yet all night, as the music sounded through the air, the lights dimmed outside and in, the mysterious man would appear then disappear, each time, the two of you would steal glances, no matter if he was talking to someone or you were, your eyes always found each other. When your gazes did meet, you were frozen for those few seconds, completely transfixed, as if he had a spell on you. You’d stare at each other a moment, then go back to mingling. Sometimes he broke the gaze, sometimes you did, but it happened an insurmountable amount of times.

The jitters of the party and praying everything went well, along with the captivating guy, you needed a break. You stepped outside on the patio and fished around your clutch for the small pack of cigs you kept. Typically you were a social smoker but your anxiety had peaked due to the party, the tiff with Jeremy, and this guy so you needed some nicotine related relaxation. The quiet of the outside and the zero guests made it appealing.

Why was this guy so damned gorgeous? And why did it bother you? You worked in LA, hot men paraded in and out of your store and at parties and events you attended all the time. What the hell did this fucker have that you’d never encountered before? You lit the cigarette and took a drag.

“Having a good night?” a smooth voice suddenly sounded beside you. You didn’t recognize it so it wasn’t Nicholas or anyone on your staff or anyone you’d talked to tonight. You turned slightly to your left to see the man in question. Instantly your mouth dried and your heart raced.

“Uh, yeah. I am,” you responded, stammering a bit, then frowning at yourself for acting like a total spaz. He got closer to you, pulling a pack out for himself and lighting up, but you couldn’t look at him, he was too intimidating. “And you?” you questioned. “You having a nice evening?” you inquired before flicking your ash.

“Not really, but then I saw you,” he stated.

You half smiled, the other half wanted to roll your eyes at his statement. So you turned to look at him to tell him off for using such a lame ass line, but when your eyes landed on him, you couldn’t breathe. He had the cigarette poised in his mouth, his fingers cradling it, taking a drag. This was the first time you’d been this close to him all night, face to face. The sight of him and that cigarette, made your insides do things it hadn’t done in a long time for anyone, including Jeremy. Not to mention the dark sweater and jean combo he was wearing that complimented his fair skin nicely.

“Uh...Um..wow, what a poor excuse for a pickup line,” you chastised when you gathered your senses.

“Who said it was a line?” he asked before blowing the smoke out.

Just then, a blush hit you hard. It was a big assumption on your part that he was hitting on you.

“Oh...I…” you stuttered, feeling like a dumbass.

He grinned at you. “It was, a bit,” he confessed, saving you from your meltdown. “But seriously. You look amazing tonight.”

“You say that as if we’ve met,” you noted curiously.

“I saw you on set,” he informed.

“Oh,” you said, realizing why he said what he said.

“Yeah,” he continued.

The blush heated your cheeks again. “Well...thank you.” A moment of quiet passed between you two. “So you worked on the set for It? Were you on the crew?” You only asked because, if he was an actor, you would’ve met him, and you hadn’t.

He gave you a strange look, almost puzzled, before he gave a slight nod and said, “Yeah, something like that.” A sideways smile crept on his face and you found yourself smiling like an idiot back at him. “So you’re with the caterers?”

“It’s my business,” you informed nonchalantly, gesturing inside back at the party. “I’m just here to oversee,” you informed.

He nodded toward you. “Ah. Well the food is exceptional. Your recipes?”

“Every last one,” you answered. “Can’t say that I’ve seen you eat them though,” you noted.

“I’m good like that. I get the job done and no one’s the wiser,” he said with a wink before taking another drag.

“Ah, I see.”

Just as you were about to ask about his name, and introduce yourself, Sophia, one of the young actresses ran out onto the patio and grabbed his sleeve and began tugging.

“Come on! We’re about to watch the trailer together! Come on!” she encouraged excitedly.

He laughed lightly at her enthusiasm. “Alright, alright, let me put this out,” he said before taking another hit then throwing it on the patio and snuffing out any flame with his shoe. He gave you a polite apology smile, due to the over excited cast member and you nodded and shrugged, waving it off. “Nice to see you,” he said as he was drug inside the house.

You gave a small wave before finishing your cigarette and joining the others back in the living room. You found your way to the back, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, your eyes on the huge tv, watching the trailer for the first time.

The footage rolled and you couldn’t help but still be creeped out by the clown. On set he was much more menacing looking than on screen. But the trailer itself seemed to scare you, enough that you felt jumpy the rest of the evening. As soon as the footage ended, the guests cheered and roared, grabbing each other for hugs or high fives. You smiled at the lot of them and the work they’d done.

It was around midnight and the food was low, but no one was really eating any more, mainly drinking. The team started to pack up the food and trays, while your two bartenders stayed hard at work.

“I’m gonna go home,” you informed Ida, to which she nodded.

The mystery man continued to fade in and out of your view all evening but you didn’t speak to him any further. You left when you didn’t see him, escaping into your car and driving home, to meet a sleeping Jeremy who hadn’t made dinner and left the dishes in the sink, unwashed. You got angry for a moment, but then took a deep breath, trying to remember that maybe he was tired and needed a break. Then you headed for bed, knowing you’d have to get up early to deal with the dishes.

[x-irememberyearsago-x]

You, little human. Part. II – Derek Hale x Reader

Summary: Focused on season 3A of Teen Wolf. I’ll play with the way the pack discovers who Darach is. In this imagine, the Reader is twin sister of Stiles Stilinski, belongs to the same social circle that he, except for the detail that she knows nothing of the supernatural creatures, mainly to protect her. The Reader has a crush on Derek Hale.

Words: 3141

Enjoy it!

Reader’s point of view

Don’t miss Part. I

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The only thing that asked me at the moment, What the hell happened to me? Or how many times did Stiles pass the Jeep over me? It hurt to the last bone in my body. I was between sleep and consciousness, I could hear footsteps around me, whispers but my mind was lost again in that dark forest that accompanied me every night while I slept, or tried. I was on the ground, I couldn’t feel the grass under my hands but when I looked up I met those red eyes again, looked back fiercely as they slowly grew larger. Suddenly, the clouds dissipated and they let the full moon, which, like its luminosity, allowed me to see the owner of those eyepieces. I didn’t say anything when Miss Blake's silhouette formed, but her eyes were no longer red, yet the sharp look was still there as her hands, strangely clawlike, were thrown against my neck.

I didn’t realize I was screaming until a powerful hands held me by the shoulders. I opened my eyes quickly and look every inch of the place where I had finished. We were no longer in high school. I struggled to identify the new site more, however, my eyes clashed with those of Derek, the owner of those hands on my shoulders. I also didn’t realize when I sat in what appeared to be a bed, too comfortable to be the floor or a sofa. I relaxed just a little.

"Are you sure my sister is not ... that thing that is Lydia?"

My glance quickly returned to Stiles's voice, who pretended to scratch his ear. But how heavy, i hadn’t screamed so loudly, had i? Beside he, was Lydia who rolled her eyes and shook her head, then came up to me with a glass of water, I accepted it without knowing what the hell happened after seeing those black veins in Derek's arm.

"What happened?" I asked, looking at the crystalline liquid in the glass.

They were silent for a long time.

"It's a long story," Derek commented, removing his hands from me. My stomach contracted with his touch.

"You can start with ... the thing that you are." I pursed my lips and looked at Stiles who looked more uneasy now. "Miss Blake mentioned something about Scott's pack." I looked at the three who were there with me.

Lydia and Derek exchanged glances.

"Seriously, it's a very long story, little sister." Stiles approached. "Derek is a werewolf ... a bad werewolf." This one looked at him without a smile. "Scott was converted by Derek's uncle who is hanging around, Cora is also a werewolf. Derek became an alpha when he killed Peter, his uncle” Lydia rolled her eyes, again "And I’m  the mastermind behind these puppies "

I tried to assimilate the tangled and confusing information that my brother gave me, i knew him, knew his entanglements and that was almost lousy explaining, but I was left alone to know who were werewolves.

"Derek killed his uncle ... but he's still alive?" I mumbled.

"Long story" Stiles and Derek responded at the same time.

Really? I was beginning to hate that phrase.

"I think that was my fault," Lydia said, pursing her lips.

 "Isaac is also a werewolf." I looked nowhere in particular.

"Converted by Derek," my brother said. The man nodded.

I also did it and I began to remember when it was the exact moment when Isaac began to change his attitude, he looked confident but at the same time nervous, also, from one day to another began to look like the typical bad boy, but Is Isaac it? There was nothing left for him. I also remembered the moments when Scott and Stiles looked attentive in his presence, as if they were waiting for him to launch into someone's throat. Then two other people covered my mind.

"If Isaac is a werewolf, then ..." My eyes only stopped at Derek "Erika and Boyd" Only a few days after the death of the latter "They were ..." Der looked down and nodded "They didn’t die in an accident , did they?"

Stiles put a hand on Derek's shoulder, if Isaac was converted by Derek then the other two too, they were his "pack”  I pursed my lips, watching the werewolf's countenance, seemed hurt, restless, suffering, although this last thing I noticed in the day to day of him. I knew his story, it was no joke that of being friends, somehow managed to come to trust me, at least not as much as I thought. There was still the issue that I have been hiding this from since I don’t know how much.

"Why didn’t  you tell me about this?"

"For your protection," Stiles answered. This time I noticed his duller look. "We wanted you to be out of this, to lead a normal life, even if you said it was boring, but at least you were safe"

"Did we want to?"

Stiles looked at Derek, there was the other reason why I keep ignorant.

"I wasn’t so safe considering that Jennifer took me to high school with lies" I bit my lip remembering that little nightmare in the classroom, where I thought it was a simple outburst of jealousy by that mad woman. Then she is also something  "She said that only Stiles was human"  I looked at the redhead  "Lydia?"

"She is something", answered my brother again.

Lydia licked her lips and hesitated.

"I'm a ... banshee"

I looked at her, a what? How many supernatural creatures existed in Beacon Hills? Would a clan of vampires find me? In that case I could have my own vampire movie, except that in this issue, I would probably stay with the werewolf. I shook my head and turned back to my twin.

"Does Dad know about all this?" My brother's eyes went out again, I even noticed that he got moistened, but what? No. My heart started beating in a hurry, not my dad "Stiles?" I trembled, "What happened?"

"We think Jennifer captured him, we don’t know where he is" This time it was Lydia who responded. I felt a lump in my throat.

"And Derek literally slept with the enemy," my brother said.

"Stiles!" Exclaimed Derek. I looked away.

"Then ... you told me these last days that he would be late and left very early in the morning ... never got home, Stiles." My eyes filled with tears. My father, they didn’t know where he was, much less if he was well.

"I wanted to protect you, he didn’t want you to know the truth either"

"God" I hugged my knees and hid my face between them. I was beginning to feel dizzy. It was too much to assimilate, too much to live for, and not only that, my dad was kidnapped and I didn’t even know if he was still breathing or not. How long had Stiles thought I would keep under that deception? At some point I had to realize.

"Stiles" I heard Derek. The rest of them were surely exchanged in silence.

"We're going to wait for Scott." I heard Lydia's voice, then her steps away.

I knew that in the loft, which was where I finally discovered that I was, only Derek and I remained. I was sitting on his bed, honestly, I didn’t expect to end up here like that, not with so much to understand and discover.

"Y/N"

"Why?" I raised my eyes full of tears to him.

"Protection, remember it"

"No, why my father?"

Derek grimaced and put his hand on one of my arms. To say that I was comforted by his touch was a lie, but right now I just had to stay here and listen to everything he had to say, besides, I felt that there was a lot of what he and I had to talk about, and not precisely about the subject Of the werewolves.

"You were dating her, right?" Derek nodded "Oh"

"I didn’t know she was something ... in your unconsciousness, Scott and Stiles told me what they know"

"I don’t worry about that"

Derek shrugged. Yes, I wanted it to be more explicit.

"why her? Der, you know my feelings for you"

"Y/N, I'm much older than you. We can’t"

I went a little closer to him, my inner jumped because at no time he pulled away or stopped me. I smiled halfway.

"Just a few years. Why do you break my heart? "

"It wasn’t my intention." He looked into my eyes. His blue ones fascinated me, I couldn’t stop seeing them once I was with them. "I thought, being with you would put you in more danger. It was better when you didn’t know anything "

"Why?" Would he rather have me in ignorance so as not to deal with my feelings? Now if I'm going to vomit "Would you get rid of me easily?"

He smiled, as he rarely does.

"Not exactly." His hand rose to caress my cheek. I sighed "With you I started to feel less ... alone. You have always been there to listen to me even though I couldn’t tell you everything about me, you conformed to what you knew " I shook my head "Believe me, not a pack of ten werewolves would make me feel less alone, as you have done "

"What does that mean?"

"That I fell in love with you, Y/N, but I couldn’t have you by my side, not with all that entails. As Stiles said, you deserve to live a normal life"

"And boring. I hate that" I complained "But, now I am in your world, you can do nothing, Derek, unless you know to erase the memory"

Another smile ... and a laugh. I also smile. Derek nodded and pressed his lips against mine, how many times had i imagined this? Uncountable, it felt like an eternity to have waited for this moment. His lips against mine, age no longer mattered, nor were we different species, none of that interested me, I was in love with Derek Hale, not the werewolf. But the situation didn’t allow us to arrive at more, I mean, we wouldn’t sit down to see Netflix or we would go through the streets announcing that at last we were together. Knowing certain things now brought new responsibilities and even if they didn’t want it, perhaps i was about to belong to his pack. I could help, somehow.

The loft doors opened with haste we barely allowed and we parted.

"Bad time," my brother exclaimed, looking away. I blushed "And I say it for you, not for us"

"She's on her way, I heard her," Scott said. Derek stood up and helped me do it too.

"I know what to do, go." Stiles and Scott went to hide in a corner. I didn’t see Lydia anywhere "Hide it, you'll be fine"

She? Was Jennifer Blake back? I nodded quickly and ran behind the stairs, because it was night and the dim lighting around us, lent itself to a good hiding place. I only fought the tremors of my body and my breathing. That I knew all this was just scary and then, Derek alone in the middle of the loft without support apparently, I was going crazy, if that woman was something, then it became a danger. For all of us. Suddenly the werewolf moved toward the stairs, Without taking a look to me, hiding in the dark. I held my breath and the temptation to touch him. I hid a little more in the night.

The loft doors opened. My heart pounded a little faster.

"Derek." Her voice pierced my ears. "Derek, where are you?" I spotted her in the middle of the room looking around, for a second I feared she might find me, or my brother and his best friend.

Derek stepped out of the shadows and I had to fight not to jump on him, it was too much for me to see him alone with her and not because she was a supposed rival, but because she was the enemy, my father's alleged kidnapper. I covered my mouth when she hugged him ... and he returned the hug. From where I was alone I could see part of the silhouette of her, because Derek's back covered almost the whole scene.

Jennifer said something that had happened in high school, my attack of course, so I understood. She had never seen Derek in the hallway helping me. She didn’t know that he was already aware of what he had done and that she was the enemy they were looking for. I bit my lip.

She let go of the embrace and looked around, I was afraid she realized that they weren’t the only two in that place. I feared to spoil everything, but her eyes connected again with his.

"I need to tell you something before you hear it for someone else." What? Was she going to confess what she did to me?

"From whom?" I loved the way Derek fooled her. I smiled halfway.

"Scott and Stiles. They are going to tell you things ... things you shouldn’t believe. You have to trust me, you have to trust me"

I looked to one side, where I supposed the other two were hidden. What would they be thinking? Of course the three of them already had a plan I knew nothing about, my collaboration here was to keep myself hidden as a damsel in distress. Awful.

"What is it?"

"Promise me to listen to me." I rolled my eyes, how could anyone be so fake?

"I promise." My heart skipped a beat just to hear those words.

But what almost made me scream is when she kissed him. I couldn’t see if it was matched or not but I had to cling to one of the edges of the stairs to avoid ruining the whole plan. So I just swallowed the lump in my throat and waited there, full of impotence. Then the kiss was over and she walked away with a different face.

"They're here, aren’t they?" Her voice had deepened. Hell, she'd discovered the plan, though i didn’t know exactly what it was.

I heard footsteps, I went a little closer to them without getting out of the darkness that protected me. I got to see Scott and Stiles, the latter seemed to have tears on his cheeks. I knew what he was thinking and soon the tears also reached my eyes.

"We told her that you're the only one killing people," Scott exclaimed.

Jennifer turned and smiled, just as she had smiled when she cornered me in the classroom.

"Oh true, human sacrifices cutting their throats," she said sarcastically. "Yes, I probably did it on my lunch break, considering the rest of my time was spent in a classroom teaching you English. That makes a lot of sense!

I rolled my eyes.

Where is my dad?

"Where's my dad?" I thought about it and my brother said it. More tears came from my eyes.

"How should I know?" She turned to Derek. "Tell me you don’t believe in this." Again the honeyed tone.

The silence that made me terrified, why Derek didn’t respond? Why didn’t he tell her that he didn’t trust her? Was he hesitating? I hated not being able to see his countenance.

"Do you know what happened to Stiles's father?" He replied in response.

I closed my eyes, I would have liked to know where my dad was, and whether he was right or not. I would have liked myself to have Jennifer talk, she couldn’t mess with my family, I couldn’t lose my father, I couldn’t stand it. I heard voices, as they continued to argue, as she tried to become the martyr, I heard the mention of Lydia, so she did something to her too. I sighed. I was beginning to get dizzy, I needed to know already that my father was perfectly well.

"... And one that they can’t prove, by the way" I returned to the present.

Jennifer was looking at my friends with threats. Did she seriously plan on remaining the innocent and victim of this? He had bruises that proved the opposite.

"What if we can?" I looked at Scott, holding a jar in front of him.

"What is that?" Jennifer asked, as did my mind.

Scott explained that it was a powder she could use, that his boss had given him ... Deaton? Did he also know about this? And that same dust could be used against her.

"Mistletoe?"

She barely gave time to ask when Scott threw that powder at her. Derek stepped back to allow me a clear vision of the woman who in seconds became something I had to cover my mouth to avoid shouting, But what the hell was that? Then she returned to the human form. I slammed my back against the ladder. Jennifer looked at Derek for a few seconds before attempting to escape but he caught her. I let out a gasp, Stiles and Scott took a step forward.

"Wait, Derek, you need me." I heard Jennifer. "I'm the only one who can save your sister. Call Peter. "Derek obeyed but I couldn’t hear what he was talking about with this Peter, his voice was too low for the distance I was in. I started to shake, what if he killed Jennifer?

"Derek, what are you doing?" Scott sounded terrified.

"Her life is in my hands!" She groaned.

I noticed Derek lifting her, making the grip even harder.

"Stop, Derek, stop." I heard Stiles.

That was the moment I decided to leave. I bumped into Derek's back and rested my hands there, he realized but it didn’t help.

"She knows where my father is ... please, Derek ... stop." He didn’t loosen his hand. I stood beside him and placed mine on his arm.

"You’ll never find Stilinski." She gasped.

"Please" I begged in a broken voice "I can’t lose my father"

"Derek," Scott and I exclaimed in unison.

Derek let go of Jennifer who collapsed on the floor and pulled me out of the way. I started crying with my hands on my chest, all this was worse than my nightmare, I preferred to be in there instead of this place.

Jennifer started laughing and looked at us all, finishing her eyes on me.

"It's true, you need me" She looked back at Derek and then at my friends "You all need me" He turned her eyes to mine "And you too, little human"

"Go!" Exclaimed Derek. "We'll find us there”

I was only aware when Scott took Jennifer's arm, after which I was caught by Derek's arms and chest.

Masterlist

[ddproductionsw77]

She Always Is.

Fandom: Girl Meets World

Pairing(s): Riarkle (Mainly), Markle (Platonically but you could read it as one-sided romance???), Stuart x Jennifer

Characters: Farkle Minkus, Riley Matthews, Maya Hart, Stuart Minkus, Jennifer Bassett Minkus

Prompt from lucasfriarfan: Part 2 of They are Always. Can be read without part 1, but it might be confusing? This is Farkle recovering from being shot.

Part 1: They are Always

Author’s Note: Speaking with the person who gave me the original prompt for They are Always inspired me to do a part 2 for it… and so here it is… so many emotions!!!

Maya decides it is best for her to watch from afar.

Her two best friends are so wrapped up in each other that she wonders if they even realize they are still occupying a crowded hospital room. Riley tangles Farkle’s fingers with her own and presses the back of his hand into her chest, forehead-to-forehead as she quietly hushes him.

He’s two days out of being shot and he doesn’t like how the pain medication messes with his head so he has started refusing it.

Well, Maya doesn’t like how the pain messes with his everything so she’s about two seconds from forcing the pills down his scrawny throat.

But instead, she watches from afar and lets Farkle groan and whimper through the flare until he settles back in. He clutches Riley’s hands the whole time, his other fist tight on his blanket with white knuckles. Maya knows the grips gotta hurt but her best friend doesn’t so much as flinch, just whispers comforting, sweet nothings for only the boy to hear until it passes.

When it does, Farkle’s whole body relaxes and he’s a little out of breath. His hand goes slack in Riley’s but she keeps their fingers intertwined, pressing a kiss to his forehead before she slides back into the seat at his bedside. Sleepily, she uses one hand to rub her eyes.

Maya steps forward and glances over at Jennifer Minkus, who is busy typing on her phone, before turning back to the brunette.

“How you doing, Riles?”

Riley’s big, brown eyes fly open and she sits up straight, “Me? Oh, I’m fine.”

Maya knows she’s not. It’s been at least twenty hours since Riley had gotten any sleep and even that had just been drifting in and out. There is no way she was running on anything but fumes. She quirks an eyebrow at her friend.

Running a thumb gently over Farkle’s knuckles, Riley looks back up at her boyfriend. He’s already drifted back off, pain and exhaustion leaving him in a constant state of almost-asleep.

“He needs me.”

Maya’s heart aches in her chest at Riley’s words. She knows it’s true. Farkle needs Riley and as long as he does, Riley will be there.

Even if it takes everything she’s got.

So, Maya sighs in resignation and decides it is best for her to watch from afar.

“Mom, can you just-“

“I cannot believe this! Do these doctor’s know who we are?! We have the money for you to stay here until your dying day and they want to send you home?!”

“Mom! Really-“

“No, Farkle! I will take care of this!”

Riley presses against the wall as Jennifer Bassett Minkus whirls past her and out of the hospital room. She tries to bite back a smile at the woman’s antics but it’s no good the moment her brown eyes meet Farkle’s rolling blue.

Coming more into the room, the girl crosses her arms over her chest, “So, she’s not happy that you got the go-ahead to go home.”

“Uh, no,” Farkle answers with a tired smile even though Riley had made more of a statement than a question. He’s sitting on the edge of his bed, dressed in normal clothes for the first time in days and even though he’s still sitting rigidly from pain and discomfort, the sight alone makes it easier for Riley to breathe.

He’s okay. He’s okay. He’s okay.

It’s all she can think most of the time.

As if reading her mind, Farkle takes one look at her and jerks his head in a gesture for her to come closer, “Come here, babe.”

Babe. 

It’s one of the small pieces of this new thing that they are and she holds it close to her heart. She’s never liked that particular pet name and yet she melts when he says it.

Bashfully, Riley moves to stand inches from Farkle, his height making them level even with him seated. Peeking up at him through long eyelashes, she doesn’t risk leaning into him like she would have before. She can’t stand the idea of causing him pain.

That doesn’t stop Farkle from wrapping her up and pulling her closer anyways. He buries his face in the crook of her neck, in her sunflower and strawberry hair. His breath warms her skin as he mumbles, “What’s a matter?”

Reaching up with some lingering reluctance, Riley combs her fingers through the hair at the back of Farkle’s neck. It’s been days since he’s been able to style it, so it’s soft like down feathers. God, she loves his hair.

“I’m not sure I’m so happy you’re going home either,” Lightly grasping the fist full of hair, Riley pulls Farkle’s head back so that their noses are inches apart. “Convince me, Dr. Turtleneck.”

It's supposed to be witty and joking and at ease but Farkle can read her as easily as he can read the periodic table so he knows better. He hears the fear and desperation underneath, the panic. It still astounds him that Riley Matthews panics over him.

Gripping her hips, Farkle pulls even her closer and ignores the unforgiving pain that shoots from his wrapped bullet wound.

“Riley, my vital signs have been ideal and consistent for an extended period of time. My wound is clean and wrapped, showing no unusual signs of redness or tenderness. I haven’t had any fevers or indications of infection and I’ve been off of opioids for over forty-eight hours without relapse. In summary, I am okay.”

Worrying at her lower lip, Riley nods but doesn’t meet those electric blue eyes. Seconds pass and then soft, warm, perfect lips are pressing against her own and her brain temporarily short circuits.

All she feels is Farkle’s hands against the small of her back, the erratic pounding of her own heartbeat in her chest, and the flush settling over her cheeks. All she cares about is the scent of fresh laundry and the gasp Farkle steals from her when his tongue skims over her lips. All she knows is God, she loves his hair and he's okay.

He goes home and he has nightmares where things go a little differently.

Farkle knows by the fourth night he shoots up in his bed, sweating and gasping, that he probably needs to address the issue but part of him is embarrassed.

He manages to be Maya and Riley’s hero one time and he can’t handle the emotional fallout afterward. For about five minutes, he considers just powering through but then he realizes that means he’ll have to keep having that nightmare and decides it’s just not worth it.

He can’t watch the man in the alley point his gun at Riley again.

He can’t hear the bullet fly from the chamber again.

He can’t see Riley fall again.

Riley helps the nightmares when she’s there.

They don’t come at all if her body is curled into his side, the warm Star Wars-themed comforter cocooning them together. She keeps making comments about how he’s her hero and how he’s saved her life three times now but Farkle knows the truth.

Riley’s his hero and she saves him every day.

When the Matthews insist that Riley has to go home for a night or two, Maya stays with him. It’s a fundamental part of Maya that she is different from Riley and her differences don’t make Farkle love her less. They make him love her differently. And she comforts him differently.

She plays cold, uses humor and mockery to keep herself distant, but there’s a fire in her eyes and soul that make it abundantly clear how much she cares.

They lay side-by-side and look up at his planetarium, without speaking. He’s on his back and she’s on her stomach with her head tipped back, blonde hair spilling down her shoulders to the sketchbook open before her.

When he ‘star gazes’ with Riley, it is hours of whispering the names of constellations and pointing out each planet and listing every moon. With Maya, it is nothing but silence as he contempts and she sketches and sketches, every now and then glancing over at him like he might just fade away if left unacknowledged for too long. He always just meets her gaze, telling her without words that he won’t.

The nightmare still comes when Maya is with him, but he can shake them once he sees her alive and asleep next to him.

It’s the first night that he has to go without Riley or Maya and his mother has to rattle him awake so as to stop his screaming that he finally admits he needs help. Someone outside of the two girls might be able to help him through this, though he’s not confident.

Sitting on the crinkly paper of the exam table, Farkle doesn’t quite get it.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The doctor slaps a nice, neat name on it and that makes his parents believe everything is solved…But it’s not. The guy scribbles his hard earned MD on a prescription for anti-anxiety medication and sends the family and the boy on their way. Farkle can admit that he’s a little on edge but it pisses him off that he still doesn’t feel like he has any real answers.

Physically, he understands the problem, he knows what’s wrong with him.

On a chemical level, the issue is an excess of stress hormones like cortisol in his bloodstream. This causes him to feel stressed, depressed, lackluster. They create the nightmares and the new ticks he keeps developing, seemingly daily, and even make him lose his appetite at every meal.

The pills are meant to stimulate the gamma-aminobutyric acid in his brain and release the gratification hormone, dopamine, into his system. It will relax him, supposedly calm him. A little dopamine can go a long way, his doctor actually jokes. Farkle thinks it’s pretty tactless.

But Farkle’s whole life has been one anxious moment to the next. He knows how to deal with anxiety and this, this all-consuming panic and random bouts of blinding fear; it’s different.

Something is wrong with him.

And no one seems to hear him when he tries to tell them. It makes him feel even crazier than he’s already starting to think he might be and that makes him want to just stop trying to tell them anything.

Riley listens, at least, but she doesn’t understand.

A piece of him, an essential part of his being, something fundamental is missing or broken or something. He doesn’t know, he isn’t sure, but he can’t shake the weight and emptiness of it. Pills aren’t going to help that.

Besides, the medication makes his head foggy, so it goes in the trash.

It doesn’t take long for him to get caught, surprisingly.

“I found them in the trash, Stuart! The trash!” Farkle can hear his mother scream which is impressive considering how far across the top floor she is. “He threw his medication away!”

A hand tightens on his bicep and he looks down at Riley’s dark eyes in the soft glow of the planetarium. They are nestled together under his covers, warm and secure. He actually feels safe with her right there, a feeling he’s beginning to forget more and more every day.

“Tell me you didn’t.” She says, her voice quiet and wavering a little.

He doesn’t want to let her down but he can’t lie… They don’t lie to each other.

Riley sighs and sits up, hovering over him with the ends of her long hair tickling his cheeks. Tears pool in her eyes and he feels like complete shit because not only did he let her down but now he’d made her cry and goddamn it, Minkus…

“PTSD is serious, Farkle. I understand that the pills don’t work for you, but promise me you’ll find something that does. Don’t just let this go. Promise.”

Farkle stays silent and his gaze flickers back up to Cassiopeia over Riley’s head and then to Orion. Orion, the Hunter, who in his myth had been killed by a single, small scorpion after conquering all of the beasts of the land. He’d underestimated the severity of his opponent and it had cost him.

Reaching up, Farkle takes Riley’s face in his hands and kisses her, hard. After a long moment, the two pulled apart, both breathless, and his heart stutters because she’s smiling at him again and it’s been a while since she’s done that.

“I promise.”

It takes time.

However, Farkle has learned from his experiences with Riley Matthews that all great things do.

He has a panic attack the first day he returns to school and it’s Maya who finally manages to pull him back. Lucas joking smacks his shoulder about a month later and receives a hard right hook to the jaw out of instinct and fear but Farkle is forgiven instantly. Now, Smackle asks before she gives him a hug, the same way he once asked her. And Zay actually gets him to laugh.

It takes time.

But slowly, he learns to walk the streets of New York alone again. Reluctantly, he gets to the point where he can go outside without feeling like someone is lurking around every corner. And eventually, eventually, he starts sleeping through the night again on his own.

It takes time. But Riley is there.

She always is.

PTSD, depression, and anxiety are no joke guys. I wrote Farkle’s trauma from a different point of view as I do not have PTSD but I do have several anxiety issues and disorders and struggle on and off with depression. If you are suffering, remember you aren’t alone. If you ever need someone to talk to, PM me or contact the suicide prevention hotline at: 1-800-273-8255.