#jen’s fond memories

[jazzsonly]

ʟᴏɴᴅᴏɴ.

paring(s): jenna ortega x g!p!reader

warning(s): smut, p in v, unprotected sex, mentions of past break up, mentions of drugs, smoking, drinking, cheating, sex in a bathroom, sex in front of an open window, no pronouns used for reader, uhh that’s it i think(?)

summary: you get invited to jenna’s engagement party a year after your break-up.

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the crisps sound of the cigarette burning crackled as your lips wrapped around it, taking a long drag you let the smoke ease through your nose before you threw the stick to the ground and stepped it on, twisting your heel to put the burn out.

nothing but a flickering street light mixed with the red light of the street light illuminated over you face, as the rain drizzled you stood on the empty sidewalk looking up at the new york apartment building, the white invitation, that you had ripped apart weeks ago, was now tapped together in your hand’s tight hold.

“excuse me?” you let out a faint ‘huh’, turning your head in the voice’s direction.

there stood an unfamiliar man clad in a dark suit.

“are you here for the engagement party? could you tell me which building it is? i’m little the lost.” he ended his words with a slight chuckle to ease the tension, clearly telling the mood you were in.

“yeah. i’m heading up there now, i’ll walk you up.” you offer, finally getting collected enough to even go in, in the first place.

the man smiles, stepping close and you both turn your heads to either side of the road before jogging across it.

1580.

from very fresh memory, you press code to access the apartment building’s front door.

“you live here?”

“nah. i know the person who does.” you offer in a sulking tone.

the man nods his head with his mouth in an ‘o’ shape. “you know jen?”

“how do you know her?”

“oh, uh, my girlfriend and her are really close so i got invited by association. my girlfriend is already here, i’m just running late from work.”

you nod, uninterested.

“how do you know jen?”

“who’s your girlfriend?” you ignore his question as you step into the elevator.

“emma. you don’t like answering questions do you?”

“jen and i used to date.” you shrug off pressing the number 4.

a face of realization came over the man, “you’re y/n?”

“and you are?” this elevator couldn’t be moving any slower.

“john.”

silence had fell over you two as the shaft came to a stop, you both stepped out at the same time, coming face to face with your’ destination.

music and chatter could be heard through the door that held a sign that read, ‘just come on in.’

“well, cheers. thanks for walking me up.” john offers a smile before disappearing into the direction of the kitchen.

you stay planted by the front door, scanning the place, there were a number of faces you recognized. co—stars of jenna and mutual friends of yours.

as you looked over the familiar apartment your eyes caught the big sign that hung from the ceiling, ‘congratulations to jenna and ari!’ in a fancy golden fond with glitter around it.

i need a drink. the thought waved over you and immediately your feet moved to towards the kitchen as did john.

to your good fortune the kitchen was empty.

scanning over the choices of refreshments, you skipped over the soda and water, going right the alcohol where you would find patron to occupy your grievances.

“y/n? hey!”

a mouthed ‘fuck’ followed with the roll of your eyes before you turn to face jenna’s co—star and your mutual friend, mason.

“hey, mas! long time no see.” you face excited as you let the man pull you into a ‘bro’ hug.

“i know, it’s been like a month since we last linked up.”

you nod, taking a big sip from the red solo cup. “ah, you know, busy, busy, busy.”

you catch the way he nods his head awkward, knowing you’d barely talked to any of the friends you shared with jenna since the split.

“you working on anything new?”

“yeah, i just booked this dc movie. i start directing in a few weeks.”

“that’s great! i’m glad to see you here...”

you wanted to crawl into a hole in die.

“it’s good you and jenna are on good terms after everything. you two create magic together, romantic or not.” he reaches and pants your shoulder in support.

“but i gotta get back to dylan and ethan, you should come say hi later, yeah?”

“sounds like a plan.” a plastic smile flashed from you, immediately dropping when the boy walked away.

safe to say you needed more than just a drink now but a cigarette.

downing what little was left in the cup, you easily made yourself up the stairs that led to the bathroom which held three stalls and an open window, only two girls stood by the mirror doing what seemed to be gossiping. you flash a smile, making your way over to the window where you lit another malboro.

i can’t believe she’s getting married.

all your thoughts seemed to be consumed with the same six words. to be truthful, it was justified because how you could you come to terms with your ex-girlfriend of six years, that you were very much not over getting married just as year after your split.

a deep inhale consumes you as you thoughts wash over you, your eyes counting the city view.

where did it all go wrong?

“you showed up.”

your eyes flutter at the voice, immediately you hit the cigarette.

jenna.

“of course i made it. wouldn’t wanna miss your big day.” you turn, you body language filled with as much sarcasm as your voice.

you take in her body, she looked the same if not better a year later. well, better than the pictures you found while instagram and media stalking her.

“you could’ve said hi, you know? but knowing you, you probably would’ve disappeared after your cigarette.” she gestures to the stick that sat between your pointer and middle.

your head tilts as you smirk a smile, eyes going to the stick and back to jen. “join me?”

wordlessly the woman steps forward, her eyes never leaving yours she attempts to grab the cigarette but swiftly, you pull back, nodding your head ‘no’ before bringing your hand up to her lips, letting her inhale.

“you been standing in the rain? you’re all wet.”

looking back out the window, “i was contemplating if i even wanted to come in or not. let my sorrow consume me far away from you or right in front of you.”

“always been a battle of yours, huh?”

wordlessly, you reach forward, throwing the lit object from the window.

“when did you meet your finance?” you inquire, a small smirk coming over your face to which jenna rolls her eyes at.

“6–8 months after we split.”

you scoff, “you move on quick, and i think you mean after you left. we didn’t split. you made that choice.”

she squints, stopping to study you for a moment.

“i didn’t leave. the relationship was toxic and you knew it. you knew then, and you know it now but your pride would let you accept it.”

“just because we were in love doesn’t mean we were right for each other, y/n.”

dramatically you throw your hands up, letting them harshly fall back down to your side.

“so, what? we argued? who doesn’t? that doesn’t mean our relationship was this big tumultuous thing, jenna!”

“look at us, we’re not even together, i’m engaged and somehow we are still arguing. we should’ve never gotten together, i should’ve never mixed business with pleasure.”

it was true, you and jenna started off as co-workers.

you, being a quite known director had landed one of the many positions on ‘wednesday’, a job you’d had been quite a fan of considering you’d previously had a hugeee crush on jenna as she rose to ‘it girl’ status in the film world.

not to mention, ‘addams family’ was one of your favs growing up.

essentially, after the first two to three weeks of filming you and jenna really started to form a closeness. you’d started a traditions where at least one person on set gets pranked every wednesday and jenna, being who she was, just loved this.

wanting to get in on the pranking action, she sparked up conversation with you which formed into you visiting her trailer to plan your next to prank, which then turned into you asking her out.

from there, your relationship spouted.

at the start you guys held a pretty content relationship with each other, bickering placed between you two at times but nothing too serious to break up—well, until your first real argument a year in.

you had gotten another job after the first season of wednesday aired, directing for marvel’s new show ‘hawkeye.’

normally after the first day of filming is done, the cast goes out to a dinner to celebrate, unfortunately for everyone paparazzi got a tip of one of the stars of the show, haliee steinfeld, was out to dinner so of course they showed up. in the mix of every thing a few pics of you and haliee were snapped, which caused dating rumors.

let’s just say, when you got home jenna was not happy with you. the situation even causing you two to split up, for a week, but still it was a split up.

over all, your and jenna weren’t ones to agree on the bigger things which caused you ‘break up’ in the long term of your six year relationship and somewhere along the lines it became too much for the young actress as she already had enough to stress over with fame so she called it quits, leaving you to self-destruct with drinking, smoking, drugs, and partying.

in the mix of your wicked lonesome you’d always thought somewhere, somehow you and jenna would end up on the same street at the same time but just a month ago did you receive an invitation to her engagement party.

“if you feel that way, why’d you even invite me? i believe one of the last things you said to me was about how you never wanted to see me again.”

she leans back like she’s shocked by your words.

“our relationship might have been a mess but we spent six years together, i learned a lot from you and us in those six years. you’ll always be special to me, y/n, that’s why i want you here.”

“six years gone is just a couple of months.” you grit, turning to walk away in a haste but failing as the woman grabs to your wrist.

she pulls you toward her, a little to close if you ask anyone else, especially her fiancé.

“don’t walk away from me, y/n! i know it hurts but can you just be here for me? can you just be happy for me?”

“do you even love her?”

“of course i do, i wouldn’t marry someone i didn’t love.” her hand was still firmly around your wrist.

“ok, so,” a bitter chuckle falls from your lips. “are you in love with her?”

you could see jenna’s tongue roll around in her mouth in distaste as she turned her head to the side and back up to you.

“why are you asking me all this? all i did was ask you to be here for me.”

again, you let a bitter chuckle slip past your lips. “you’re not even in love with the girl and you’re gonna marry her.”

“i never said tha—”

“you didn’t have to. i know you, jenna—i mean, come on we dated for six years, you’re gonna have to do better at lying than thi—”

“i’m not lying!” she defended, finally pulling her touch away.

“yes you are.” you couldn’t be more amused in this moment than you had the past year.

“you know what, i’m not doing this. don’t stay. i don’t care.”

this time jenna is the one to try to walk away but you grip her wrist the same she had done yours, pulling her back to you but this time even closer, your bodies together.

“kiss me.” it came out softer than you intended, almost like a whisper but raspy and firm.

“i—i can’t. i can’t do this with you.” she attempts to pull away but your arms wrap around her waist, keeping her in place.

you lean down, only getting the chance to brush your lips over her’s as she quickly turns her head to the side, fighting any and all temptation.

wordlessly, you let your lips connect with her cheek and gracefully move down to her jaw before lifting your head to stare back to the woman you were so familiarly enamored with.

“jenna, kiss me.” you grip the sides of her face, pulling her in, to which she definitely no longer fought from by the way she kissed you back, seemingly even more in need of it than you.

you could taste the cigarette from each other’s lips, her breath mixed with cherry and your’s with the drink you had, had earlier.

mindless thoughts flew through your head in the moment, your body so heated with final desire it melted to the inside of you. while, jenna’s filled with so many thoughts she could probably explode from them in this moment.

she knew she shouldn’t be doing this and not just because she were with someone else but because your relationship would bring nothing but chaos of heartache, but damn she loved you.

she were in love with you, even after all this time. even after being with someone else, let alone engaged to them.

nothing compared to then taste of your lips that were firmly, but sloppily moving against her’s with haste in these very seconds. or the way your hands traveled across her, up from her waist down to her ass, which you gripped harshly in a wanting manner.

alone in the bathroom, only your pants of eager desire could be heard. shamelessly all over each other, just inches from the big open window for the world to see.

quickly but surely, you flip jenna’s body, her hands immediately holding onto to that window as you hike her black dress up before impatiently undoing the strings on your sweatpants that you let drop to your ankles, along with your boxers.

you harden cock sprung free, hollowly brushing against her ass.

“i missed you so much.” you wish in her ear before kissing it.

“arch a little more for me.” your tone was soft spoken with desire.

with your left hand pressed against her lower back you use your right to align yourself before slowly sliding in, letting a groan fall from your lips and your head throw back. you couldn’t believe what was happening after such a long time.

neither could jenna believe her actions but as tempting as you were it was bound to happen. her head pressed against the window as her eyes closed in fancy, mouth firmly open with pretty moans to fall from them.

your hands gripped her waist, fingers digging into her sides as your hips move in a back and forth motion, going in and out of her while your eyes watched the sight in awe.

“tell me you love me.” you demand.

“i love you.” she easily complies.

“again.”

“i love you.”

“again.”

“i love you.”

“fuckkkkk.” you draw out, moving with more pace.

“i love you too.” you words were as just as much fire to jenna as her’s were to you.

you enflamed her in way you were half clueless to but could definitely feel by the way she pushed back trying to get you impossibly deeper and closer.

“fuck, baby. if you keep doing that i’m gonna cum.” your head flies back in pleasure.

gaining a smidge of strength in the mix of your motions, jenna pushes off the window into you.

“i’m gonna cum too. i wanna cum with you.”

“keep going.” you utter, moving impossibly faster as you feel the build up in your body set to release, assuming jenna felt the same by the way she clenches around you.

“kiss me, kiss me.” you order, leaning down to meet the girl’s lips.

you moved your motions a few more times before feeling jenna’s juices gush over you.

you followed shortly behind, letting everything go inside of her.

there was moments of silence before jenna was the one to pull away from your embrace, fixing her now soaked underwear and pulling down her dress.

a content smirk filled your face as you collected yourself.

“you—”

“jen? jenna?” any cocky remark you had to say was put on hold by what seemed to be jasmin’s voice, a co—star of jenna’s and good friend of the both of you.

as the woman came through the door, she paused, eyeing the distraught state between the both of you.

“ari is about to do the toast, hurry out.” was all she could manage before exiting the same way she had came.

this would definitely be the topic of discussion later. jenna thought as she moved over to the mirror to check her semi-messed up makeup.

“i’ll be on my way out. come over later when you’re done breaking the news to ari.”

━━━ 👩🏽‍💻

[jensettermandu]

nostalgia - huh yunjin

genre; light angst, fluff, sfw

pairing; yunjin x female reader

synopsis; purely based on the song Nostalgia by Suki Waterhouse

wc; 5.5k+

masterlist

a/n; i do recommend listening to the song while or before reading, just to hear all of its lyrics because only certain parts are used in the story plus it's such a good song

‘Do you still have the CDs that I burned you?’

Yunjin was aware that there was a limit to everything, even to how much of her life she could fit in her luggage before going back to South Korea to chase her dreams. It was hard to leave; leaving everything behind was what made it the hardest; the fact that she could only bring a small portion of her current life with her.

There was a fear that if she didn’t bring certain things, she would forget about them.

Of course, she was excited, but the tears of joy had also turned to tears that burned and a difficult feeling to swallow as it was thick with emotions. There were so many emotions to feel and it all ended up overwhelming her; missing her comfort.

As she looked through her last few drawers as a way to reminisce and try not to forget the stuff she would leave, in what would be her old room, her fingers stumbled upon something that held a deep past; it felt like a bitter past now when it had been so sweet. 

Yunjin grabbed the three different CD cases, grabbing onto what was left of the love she could have had. With those she picked up the walkman, she forgot to return and now never would get to return.

As she put the first CD into the player, she lay on her bed and stared at the white and empty ceiling. The girl pressed play after putting in the earphones; it burned her skin as she found herself painting out her memories onto the ceiling; reminiscing about a recent past as she listened to the voice.

Yunjin wasn’t the only one with dreams.

“These are just for you and no one else; our favourites and this one is—” Yunjin watched Y/n who trailed off, a CD case in her hand, she had already handed two to Yunjin.

It was a sweet gesture; it was affectionate and intimate and meant the world to Yunjin at the moment. Three CDs Y/n had burned her were better than anything else she could have gotten from anyone, especially Y/n. Somehow, she found herself creating the best memories when she was with her, she felt the most with her and didn’t want anything else.

They had come to the city for two different reasons; Yunjin had given up on her dreams and she fondly watched Y/n chase hers. There was some hope that it would reignite her passion again.

The girl sighed, her accent thick with her old home after coming from London to chase her dream in New York. 

“A few demos, so…” 

Carefully as if it was a flake of gold Yunjin reached for the see-through CD case in her girlfriend’s hold. This would become a core memory in her head; this was special in so many ways, Y/n’s first demos were in her hold. A smile painted itself onto her lips and she knew that she could always start creating and chasing new dreams; Y/n had become her dream.

Yunjin had never been more sure of the words that left her lips next, nothing had ever felt more right. This was something she was sure of, something she was passionate about. “I love you,” she truly did and being young, 18, she hadn’t had the opportunity to fall in love. 

This was beyond an infatuation, this was deeper, this was love and this time those three words meant what they were and she didn’t say them because she thought it was love.

Yunjin said them because she knew it was love.

Y/n let out a small giggle, a fond smile resting on her lips as her eyes gazed over Yunjin’s face as if searching for an answer to her words. There was no need for a long search because the answer was right there.

“I love you, Jen.” 

And in the moonlight that seeped through the windows in Y/n’s studio apartment as they were on the mattress that was on the floor Yunjin and Y/n both got to live through what was real love. 

The CD cases were discarded to the side, listened to during their affectionate pillow talk, and the same happened to Y/n’s shirt as Yunjin pulled it off, letting it fall onto the studio apartment's wooden floor. 

‘The T-shirt you pulled off me, the night you said you loved me?’

Yunjin reached for the t-shirt that was about to fall out of the wardrobe and onto the floor. “Hurry up or we will be late for practice!” She didn’t reply to Chaewon who had run past her to get to the door. 

She looked at the shirt, the print had somewhat washed away, the same way those memories were washing away. It hadn’t been long since she left, but the remnants of an old dream were still lingering. 

‘I love you, Jen.’

How long has she had Y/n’s shirt? Was it from all those years back when Yunjin for the first time said I love you? How did it end up in Seoul? How did a piece of her past end up in Seoul; a piece of Y/n; her old dream? Did she pack it? Did it fall in by accident? Did someone else put it in? It was here though, with Yunjin, a piece of what she had left of Y/n.

It would do her no good, the same way the CDs wouldn’t as they were put away in her drawer in her old room before her flight. Yunjin stuffed the shirt back, far back, hiding it so as to not stumble upon it again. It was time to forget, the same way they had forgiven so easily. The quicker, the better because it wouldn’t ache.

She couldn’t bring all of this with her though, Yunjin couldn’t bring this nostalgia with her, she had to forget about it even if she wished to dwell in it for eternity.

Yunjin was chasing a new dream. 

‘I still have the marks that you made on me

It's easy to forget that you are gone’

New York City would always be busy, everyone lived in a world of their own, Y/n included. She walked forward, but still always found herself stuck in the same place even after what had been months, a year almost.

She would stutter in her actions; all those times she would stare at the barista. The usual order was what she wanted, wasn’t it? The usual. The usual. What was the usual? Despite knowing the usual by heart she found herself staring at the menu above the man for a second. It was like a blackout in her mind.

It wasn’t the usual:

‘Two iced americanos?’ 

That sounded right.

“One iced americano. Extra strong.” 

However, it wasn’t right and she had yet to grow used to it. 

In the same way, it wasn’t right to reach for her phone every time she came up with a new melody or lyrics to send it right to her lover.

The same way that picture of the broken guitar at the studio ended up with the rest of the unsent pictures. 

In the same way, there was no one to expect at home yet she still always wanted to call out her name when she entered, it would be at the tip of her tongue. 

Those moments of doubt that would always disappear when she asked for opinions; opinions that had always mattered the most to her. It was just another empty reach because she realised she didn’t have that anymore. 

That blackout in her head where she couldn’t remember why it wasn’t right never lasted too long as it got filled with the present. Y/n would remember that Yunjin was gone, she was away from her. The spots would fill with a sadness that washed over her, remembering that she lived in a nostalgia of when she and Yunjin were still together.

She kept forgetting that she was just letting herself sleep in nostalgia.

Y/n’s sip of coffee was bitter, she loved it, but the bitterness from a while back wasn’t as pleasant.

‘I talk about the past like I talk about you’

Two passionate lovers is what they were. They loved big and fought for their love even bigger even if it was with the other. It wasn’t often though, it seldom happened, but when it did it was big because of their passion that only grew with the years.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/n?”

“Why would I be joking about this, Yunjin!?”

Y/n clenched her jaw, taking in a deep breath as she tried to hold her tears at bay. Yunjin didn’t make her cry, it was just her fears that made her cry, the fears Yunjin always reassured her she didn’t need to have. 

Those promises neither of them would break, yet they found their love so precious and important to them that the smallest littlest sign of possible defect sent the whole perfectly organised heart into a frenzy.

Love wasn’t easy, it came with easy parts, but so many parts weren’t. As there were beautiful parts to it, there was ugly too. 

It was still explosive, their love was, it was great; greater than most could handle, but they fought the strength of it to not let it overwhelm them. It still had those moments where it did manage to do so. 

“I don’t fucking know. You just…”

Y/n smiled, it would always be a blur whenever she was asked questions about the songs she wrote. The only story she could tell her friends was that those songs were made-up telltales most of the time. 

‘I leave out every little thing that I don't like remembering’

“Wait–Okay, no, it’s recording now.”

“You’re such an idiot.” Y/n laughed, trying to push away the camcorder that was being shoved in her face.

“Stop it, you look pretty. I need to get it on video.” Yunjin argued, pushing away Y/n’s hands, but her girl was trying to put up a small fight. 

“Is it truly such a need?”

“Uh-huh. You look pretty 24/7 and I need some of it on video.” It wasn’t hard for her to overpower the smaller girl as Yunjin grabbed hold of Y/n’s wrists with one hand and quickly straddled her girlfriend, having her pinned to the mattress. 

Those giddy giggles continued as they messed around; it was always the same, it was always as comforting as a late-night drive in light rain. It created a sense of peace to the mind, it felt serene and warm even if it was cold outside. 

“I can now declare my love for you on camera,” Yunjin stated as she angled the camera towards them and leaned down. 

The lens watched the two girls who stared at each other; Yunjin’s hand unwrapped around Y/n’s wrists and gently cupped her cheek, with the latter wrapping her arms around her shoulders. It watched as they stared at each other in a momentary silence; it caught the love in their eyes, the fondness, the adoration, the care, the comfort they felt with each other; their starry-eyed romance.

Yunjin smiled with a light chuckle as she spoke, “I Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin love you, Y/n Y/l/n, more than I can express.” 

Y/n mirrored the smile, her eyes twinkling brighter than stars in the sky, “I love you more than I will ever be able to say I do, Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin.” 

The camcorder continued to capture their love as Yunjin dropped it onto the mattress and put her lips against Y/n’s to continue declaring the love they held for each other.

It could have been that she skipped the bad parts, left out everything she would rather not remember Yunjin or their love for as she was missing the idea of the girl.

‘I miss you more than I say I do’

“Do you miss whoever that is?” 

Y/n looked over her shoulder at the guy who gave her a discerning smile; as if he knew the answer to the question. The girl grabbed hold of the journal where she had been scribbling down lyrics and spun around in the chair. 

She looked over the words, it had been three years, and then she looked up at the man. The studio was quite dim, almost a yellow and reddish colour that matched the rugs that were on the floor and hung on the walls together with the other types of soundproofing. 

That person she hadn’t seen for three years; were the songs about her? 

“I don’t, it’s just fiction,” Y/n spoke, knowing that it wasn’t fiction as she still, after three painfully dreadful slow years, strongly longed after the person most of her songs seemed to be about. 

She tried to convince herself otherwise, she tried to convince herself that she was too busy chasing her dreams to even remember who Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin was.

However, it was clear that Yunjin had never even for a second left Y/n’s frame even if she wasn’t in the picture anymore. 

The person who wasn’t there was her only muse. 

‘You had to follow all your dreams, move to New York (Seoul), away from me

You were so easy to forgive, but not so easy to forget’

Yunjin’s heart pounded, she knew that she never needed to be worried or nervous, but it was wrecking her even as Y/n jumped into her arms with a squeal. The cool wind that blew on the roof of Y/n’s apartment building was one she would remember for years; the way it left a chill on her skin all while feeling forlornness and happiness at the same time, that bittersweet taste of her tongue.

It was a taste that wouldn’t wash away. 

Y/n buried her face in the crook of Yunjin’s neck, she felt happy for her girlfriend, but she couldn’t tell if those tears that made it past her eyes were solely tears of joy. No, something was crumbling, breaking into pieces inside Y/n; was that what heartbreak felt like? Was this what true love was? It was painful.

True love was pain.

It just took some time to settle for both of them how painful love was as the other things they faced starry-eyed weren’t close to the damage this was causing them. It was hard to keep the same starry gaze. 

“I’m sorry.” The girl barely managed to let out as her fingers twisted the material of Y/n’s sweater. She truly was sorry for making Y/n believe that she was her only dream, but the second the opportunity showed itself after all this time, that spark of her old dreams ignited. 

Yunjin had spent countless years chasing something she failed to reach and now it was right at the tips of her fingers. She never thought it would happen and she had been ready to move on from it, but it was like fate was presenting itself to her. 

Y/n wanted to hate Yunjin, but she knew that she couldn’t even if the girl was breaking her heart. She loved her too much to keep her. She had moved to New York away from everyone to chase her dreams too, so she understood Yunjin, but she couldn’t lie and say that it wasn’t wrecking her; that it wouldn’t leave her a mess.

She wrapped her arms tighter around the taller girl’s shoulders who pulled her in closer; a goodbye to someone who was still there but wouldn’t be for much longer hurt her. They both hurt. They had been protecting their love, they had devoted themselves to protecting it from even the smallest defects, but they couldn’t protect it from themselves. 

As the promises they made, were the promises they never meant to break

“Don’t feel guilty for doing what’s best for you, Jen, don’t be sorry for chasing your dreams.”

Y/n forgave her for hurting her, but that never meant that she was able to forget her, let alone the pain that Yunjin caused her, the pain they caused each other. If they had known, would they still pursue a love this great? The answer was a simple yes; no matter the pain, their love was worth it until the last second no matter how much it tore them into pieces on that roof.

‘Why can't I keep you right where I want you?

Y/n stared at Yunjin, she had found herself admiring Yunjin at night whenever she couldn’t fall asleep. Then every morning when she woke up, later because she could never fall asleep, she did so to Yunjin fondly caressing her with her gaze, waiting for Y/n to wake up.

She moved the slightest, slowly twisting in Yunjin’s tight and warm hold on her waist. It was hard to imagine that it had been two years since they met and that in a couple of months, Yunjin would get a call that would reignite her dreams and leave them torn to pieces that were miles apart. 

Now on her stomach, an arm still holding onto her waist, Y/n could look better over Yunjin's face; unaware that soon her nights would be spent in an empty bed, crying and longing. Her scent was gentle and comforting to Y/n; in a few months, she would only be able to smell it on her clothes until it would fully wash away. She reached her hand up and gently traced along her cheek, thumb grazing the slight pout on Yunjin’s lips; the lips she would kiss and touch for the last time soon enough.

Y/n sighed and was about to move, “where are you going?” She hummed confused at the tired, almost grumpy mumble that came from Yunjin. The arm around her waist tightened its grip, pulling Y/n flush against her warm body. She was held in an embrace she would be missing and never be able to suffice with another one. 

She would miss it all so much that it would leave her lovesick. 

If only they were aware, would it change anything? Perhaps their words.

“Nowhere, Jen.”

“Good, don’t leave.” She mumbled before turning onto her side, sighing in content as Y/n snuggled closer, right under her chin, letting Yunjin take in the calming scent of her hair. 

“I don’t plan on leaving,” her voice held a slight rasp as it was starting to fill with exhaustion and her usually sleepless nights weren’t as bad because it was easy to fall asleep in Yunjin’s presence. Maybe it was good considering that the nights ahead would be nothing, but sleepless and draining. 

“Neither do I,” those words of security. 

Those silent promises they would break. 

Y/n closed her eyes at the security she felt, falling asleep in the home that she had found. 

‘And even though you put an ocean in between us’

Y/n blinked her tired eyes open and stared ahead, the empty room seemed to stretch for miles in the dark, the bed cold and empty even if it had felt so warm just a second before she awoke. A dull ache pierced her heart at the realisation of it being a vivid dream. It took her a while to realise it was just another dream and that Yunjin was far away.

It somehow didn’t matter that she wasn’t there anymore, it did matter because it hurt and the longing for something she couldn’t have exhausted her, it just didn’t mean that she would forget her simply because she wasn’t there. 

There was something utterly beautiful about true love, but for something to be beautiful, there had to be something ugly. Which was the miles in between them, the separate dreams they were chasing and the evergreen feelings she couldn’t express to her anymore. 

All that was left was missing the idea of Yunjin, of that something that they had.

‘I will try to keep us

Together forever, nostalgia’

It wasn’t as frequent anymore, but once in a while those vivid dreams came to haunt Y/n. She turned to lay on her back and stare at the ceiling. She watched the memories wash away, trying to not care, but then she would find herself grasping for them in panic, terrified that she would forget about Yunjin even if it had been two years.

No one had simply been able to be what she was. 

After each of these dreams, she found herself closing her eyes again and repeating those memories. Despite it all, she tried to keep them together forever no matter how faint certain parts could become. Y/n would bury herself with these memories if they ever died. She kept her and Yunjin together even after two years. 

‘I just need to know that you are happy

So if it couldn't be me, then go ahead, forget me’

As time passed Y/n would find herself slipping out of her nostalgia and into reality, instead of dreaming about her, she was wondering about the other girl. Y/n was left wondering if Yunjin still had those CDs she burned for her, together with the walkman she never got back. If that shirt Yunjin pulled off the night she said she loved her was with her even though it had been years.

Did she remember their love? The same way Y/n did. 

There was a part of her that hurt whenever she thought about the fact that she was possibly the only one who still thought about the other. However, even if that was the case, she still wanted to know how Yunjin was doing even if she was the only one who still cared about how the other was doing. 

Was she at least happy after leaving her behind to follow her dreams? 

That was all that mattered to Y/n, to know that Yunjin was happy then she wouldn’t hold it against her. She would be fine with Yunjin not thinking about her the same way she would think about her almost every day. Y/n would be fine with Yunjin never reminiscing about their past together at all; with being forgotten.

“I remember helping this one group produce a song—It’s like they are making them in factories with how many groups debut lately.”

Y/n looked up from the DAW and tilted her head back to look up at the TV that was hung above them on the wall. There was no sound coming from it, “what’s this?” She questioned, wondering why her friend was playing what was a South Korean channel. That sad little bittersweet feeling filled her as she became once again painfully aware that all that she did was escape now and that in reality somewhere among those people was Yunjin.

She was no longer here with Y/n. 

“It’s the little showcases they do when they debut or make a comeback.” Y/n had been too bitter to keep track, but she knew that she would be happy for the girl. It would mean the world to her.

The one simple thing she had been wondering for these past two years was finally answered. “What group is this?” Y/n asked, dewy-eyed. She couldn’t help but smile as relief washed over her and she grew sentimental. Her heart felt fixed for a second, it was beating like it did when Yunjin was around her and told her how much she loved her. 

She was reminded of how much tender love she still had for her, knowing she couldn’t give it to her.

“Le sserafim.” 

Yunjin looked happy, she looked passionate; Y/n felt like she achieved something just from seeing Yunjin finally live out the dreams she’d had for so many years, the ones she had strived for so hard. 

There was no way for Y/n to know if the girl missed her or at least even thought about her once or if she had forgotten all about her. It didn’t matter as long as she was happy and if that was the case Y/n would rather be forgotten.

It couldn’t be Y/n that Yunjin chose in the end, but her dreams.

‘I traced my steps back to where we first met

And hold the memory 'til you slip away’’

“Excuse me, do you have Lucinda Williams LP records?”

“I don’t really work here…” 

Y/n stopped and looked over at the taller girl with confusion, after looking up from her phone, as she was sure that she saw staff in this exact spot a second ago. Her eyes glanced away from the girl and she realised that the person she initially was going to ask for help was now a row away from her.

“I do know where the LP is though–” Y/n stuttered in her step, making the other girl do the same which created an awkward moment of confusion. “I could show it.” She pointed out the obvious she was trying to do and Y/n at last caught on.

“Thank you and sorry for mistaking you for working here.” She apologised as they walked beside each other through the endless aisles of the vintage vinyl store with both old and new LP records, including CDs, walkmans and more. The store was dimly lit with yellow and beige undertones, it smelt of cardboard and dust, and the air felt thick and warm, but was evocative. 

“It’s fine, you have a nice accent. British–” “Cockney.” The two looked at each other and Y/n looped her thumb through the hole in the sleeve of her sweater. She squeezed it, was there a tremble in her voice? There was and there never usually was one. 

“British, yeah, cockney is the dialect.” She clarified as she had answered the girl before she had the chance to finish talking. What she got in return was a bright smile, one she hadn’t seen before, especially not since she moved to New York. It felt like people didn’t have time to smile or be nice in the busy city. 

“It’s pretty,” she fished for words to say, but couldn’t figure out how to receive the compliment. Y/n found herself at a loss for words because of the stranger walking beside her. “Lucinda Williams feels specific though.” However, the pretty stranger filled in the silence that would possibly fall upon them.

“I’m looking for inspiration, I grew up listening to her.”

“Inspiration?” 

Y/n breathlessly chuckled at that, remembering how she was called a fool after declaring that she was moving to New York to chase her dreams of becoming a musician. She nodded and the both of them stopped before a big row of records, her eyes scanning for the one she was looking for.

“Yeah, I’m musically inclined I guess.”

The stranger continued to make conversation, seemingly interested in the other stranger. “As in…” Y/n looked away from the rows of records as one was handed to her and she looked at the ‘World Without Tears’ LP in the dark-haired girl’s hands. 

“As in–” She took the record from the girl with a small thank you. What she also received was a bright smile and the inspiration she had been looking for. It was hard to find a muse, but somehow a pretty and nice stranger was setting a fire ablaze. “I've always wanted to be an artist and so I moved here, to New York, to follow my dreams.”

“I’m Yunjin by the way.” She introduced herself, looking at the pretty stranger with an accent, a cockney dialect like she had said. Something grew inside her chest, someone Yunjin had just met, someone she didn’t know the name of, the girl in front of her; she had so much in common with the girl in front of her despite not knowing her name yet.  

“Or well–Jennifer when I’m back home.”

“I’m Y/n.” The girl said as they both looked each other in the eye, for the first time, but not the last, yet, locked hands. 

‘I miss you more than I say I do

You had to follow all your dreams, just wish that they included me’

Y/n reached for the record that was packed between the other ones on the shelf. The old vinyl store smelled of faint dust, cardboard and memories, evocative as always. She picked up what was the same-titled LP she had bought here when she met Yunjin or Jennifer when she was back home. 

She continued to walk along the aisles, walking through memory lane once again, remembering how this was the place where she spoke about her dreams to a stranger who then became someone who knew her better than she knew herself. That same person who would leave Y/n behind to follow all her dreams; she wasn’t upset about it.

The girl stopped in front of what was a shelf with newer artists, the new generation of artists and looked at the names. However, she knew what she came for, to see a name on the shelves yet when she saw it she continued to walk. 

It did make her heart pound and teeth dig into her lower lip to contain all these overwhelming emotions that were being stirred inside of her. If only she could share them with the stranger who became her everything, to finally be able to share what she always had wanted to share with her.

The old vintage store had changed; it had gotten modern details and more products to attract more people. The world moved forward, and nothing stayed the same, all that used to be had changed around her. 

Y/n had yet to grasp it all, she didn’t meddle in the genre and maybe it was because it only made her think of one person. She still stopped over at the section to see the mini albums. Despite being aware that Yunjin was happy, obviously since she achieved what she always wanted, Y/n still wished that she was part of why she was so happy and those dreams.

Her fingers only brushed over the mini album, letting it slip through them; she preferred the past and didn’t enjoy certain changes as she continued to walk. She took a trip down memory lane, from the beginning until there was nothing more left to reminisce until she reached the part where Yunjin slipped away and they stopped creating memories together. She played it all on a loop. It was hard to pretend when she knew the truth of who and what she longed for.

‘Together forever, nostalgia

It's crazy, baby, I want you’

To sleep in nostalgia; to escape the now, Y/n found herself giving into the beauty of an illusion.

The romance of missing the idea of Yunjin who she knew wasn't far for the first time in so long, but still it felt like miles away.

It had been three years and four months. It was crazy, but Y/n still wanted Huh ‘Jennifer’ Yunjin as she stood on the outdoor theatre stage of Coachella, singing the song she had been living for the past years. 

She too reached her dreams even though she was wistful after her old one. 

‘Together forever, nostalgia

It's crazy, baby, I want ya’

Nostalgia had never been less present in Yunjin’s life as she found herself living in the now, in her reality, but this time it was because she wanted to. This time she didn’t want to escape into a dream when the scene before her was beyond what she could indulge in reminiscence.

The sun was setting and her view felt ethereal and heartbeat familiar. It was all she needed, to see Y/n reach her dreams too, that they both had reached their dreams even if it was without the other there, without being able to share it. 

Dewy-eyed she stared with sentimental spilling from her eyes and love clogging up her throat, her body warming up in a fluttering way she had wondered if she would ever feel again. 

Yunjin still had the CDs that Y/n burned her, she asked her mum to send them just a few weeks after she arrived together with the walkman. That T-shirt, the one Yunjin put on a teddy bear she hugged each night, was still with her, reminding her each time of where her love lay and the night she said where it did lay. 

It was impossible to let go of the past, to not sleep in nostalgia and reminisce every day and think about the girl who was on stage. Impossible to not wonder how she was doing. Impossible to not wonder if Yunjin too was Y/n’s wonderwall or if she was the only one.

It’s crazy, Yunjin thought, it’s crazy that she had kept her and Y/n together forever, in nostalgia. It’s crazy how she kept something that wasn’t there, alive. It’s crazy how close yet how far she was from her. It’s crazy that she watched Y/n from the crowd and wanted her despite the miles and years apart. It’s crazy that she would bury herself with this nostalgia, this illusion if it ever died. 

‘Together forever, nostalgia

It's crazy, baby, I want ya’

That little flame for their old dreams never died, they could always start chasing them again because they had kept it alive with the romance of missing the idea of the other. They had been kept together by sleeping in their nostalgia.

a/n: idk i just had to write this 'cause i love suki waterhouse, and nostalgia is just too good, need it injected into my veins, her every song tbh. hope it was enjoyable though since i really enjoyed writing it. i really appreciate the support, especially reblogs. love yall <3

masterlist

[ykiwrite]

departure

description: the only exception when headphones are not needed is when you're around

warnings: everything and none

requested: no

Not one soul truly knew with certainty what was the bond between Jenna and her headphones.

Majority of guesses pointed towards the same chain of remarks like a broken record, over and over.

She's obviously annoyed with all the attention around.

It's to drown out the fans, obviously.

Probably for a distraction.

While most of it was true, all of them were looked at from the surface level. There laid much heavier meaning. The one that Jenna herself is not too fond of uncovering to the world and never was.

She thinks it's sweeter that way. Not everyone has the right to know everything down to little details just because she made a choice of pursuing this path. Some things are better to stay under one's wing.

But when such thing is so broad, and the center of the media conversation, she grew to hate it which ultimately portrayed her as a liar and show-off. But she knew she was no different just because she preferred going outside more than staying inside. Just because she keeps on carrying them around everywhere she heads.

"Close your eyes, come on."

"I told you, i have them closed." Jenna insisted on the truth ever since you started struggling with her trickery for the past ten minutes. Unwilling and tired from opening gifts all day long.

It still felt like summer outside despite the calendar's date passing the one autumn was supposed to begin. You don't recollect signing a deal with the sun to set so deliberately on Jenna's face. As it were placed by your hand. Offering a daily reminder of how crudely you fell for the woman.

The sooner you start inscribing each detail of hers in your memory while this scenery lasts, the better. Not that you could ever forget her, even if she was taken away this very moment and never given back again.

You're just not sure how much will change, counting from this day onwards. A lot will.

Grabbing the box that, taking into account the trouble you withstand saving for it, could have been put together prettier.

But that was not Jenna's specialty after all. Being overly picky about things, it left no gaps for worry.

Normally, a grain of unease at giving gifts would invite itself but this one felt oddly at home.

Everything did with her around.

"So...it's nothing much. Just something that you're gonna, hopefully, take along with you when you leave."

Seeing the stuffed bags and girl's belongings as they confined the room felt suffocating. It took over your composure, twisting a knife stuck in you ever since news arrived. A week ago it had a life to it, it had Jenna written all over. Now, all it will become is an empty room until she's home again.

Jenna understood the absence of your pre-gift giving speech you surely had prepared for the obvious unsaid reasons. It made her awake.

Opening her eyes and first thing being you, she thought there's not a gift out there better than you in every way and form. But blinking the haziness away, she got the full picture.

"No way." She grabbed the box with a simple ribbon and a letter attached that will be delayed from opening for now. Knowing this day would never come if it wasn't for you making the actual move. All she did was words and never actions because "it's too much and i don't need it that bad".

Exactly why she needed it.

"But how? Why did you?"

You watched her open it like it has a fragile label plastered over. "I saved up. I know your saving addiction wouldn't let you do that and then what? You'd feel guilty so this is where i show up."

"Mannn, noise cancelling? Plus, it has that thing, forgot what it's called. You know the-"

She got over the moon with the unboxing while you watched. Less listened. You tried but it weighed heavy on your mind;

"So Jen," acted as a ground zero and breaking point, "since you landed this big role you're probably never gonna be home as much."

She knew where this was heading. You've been there many visits in the past.

"I won't be there to help with stuff unless you call or something. So distract yourself with this whenever you're out because i know how you are better than anyone-"

"Don't start again. You don't know that. I'm not gonna leave."

You hindered every way from this turning into arguing. Especially on her last day here. "Just listen to me. I want you to do great, even i'm not there."

God, this really is exhausting.

She stared at the folded headphones with your writing within them. A spot where no one could see. Just like a secret you were, and always remained, and it was always against Jenna to do so.

Her hands began to shake before she preoccupied them with the unfolding. Flashes were passing through the glass. She had no one to do what you were capable of. Or at least mimic, copy it in whatever way possible. The doors were opening against her will.

It was a double edged sword sooner than a pair of headphones she carried. Eternal reminder of what's left of you as ridiculous it sounds.

Your playlist compiled over the years was on while she was led by where the job took her down without you.

"I don't think i've ever seen someone so attached to their headphones, you know?"

Of course you didn't. God, he was too pushy. You wouldn't like him either.

Jenna laughed, toning down the insincerity but it was emerging.

"They were a gift before i left home some time ago. The whole idea was to-"

"Oh, they were? From who?" The man went ahead. He struck Jenna as someone who clearly wasn't interested in treating this podcast like a podcast. Rather a second hand source of news.

"Just someone that was, i mean- is really dear to me, you know?"

She should call you after this.

You were everywhere yet nowhere. In that woman leaning at the bar, in the deep waters of the conversation. In the guy sitting at the corner, reading something she can't figure out the name of. The girl chasing a dog for ten minutes straight.

This was so stupid.

"Are you okay?" Her only sane coworker out of everyone seated at this table patted her on the back, jolting her forwards. Perhaps she needed that.

"Yeah, why?" Who is she fooling?

"I saw who are you texting, that's why. Not to pry but maybe give it a break?" She was visibly cautious about the last part but uselessly.

"There's afterparty tomorrow, after the show. Maybe try and have fun?"

Come on. Jenna looked at her and smiled, in the meantime picking up the neatly placed headphones and pushing the chair to where it originally was. "Thanks but i don't think i'll be there. I'll be off now. You guys have fun, yeah?"

The third bottlecap dropping struck the floor and it was the loudest sound of the day besides the line ringing. Piercing her sense of hearing making it the only sound stuck for the rest of the week. Without Jenna acknowledging that. The cold, high story building with a nice view was never in the position to fill the void of you.

Jenna was tired. She was staring at the phone unanswered, it was all she saw on her unlit kitchen floor.

"I know you're not sleeping, please."

As a matter of fact, there was a mutual agreement. That type neither side obeys and respects. Maybe only just in the beginning but as days fly by it starts being harder to play by the rules.

She was only to call when it was critical. And to her, every day was critical and you weren't much different. Just better at hiding.

Quiet.

Jenna dared to smile to herself, unknowing she still had it in her.

"...it's late Jenna."

That alone, more than enough to keep her at bay. If only she can capture it and lock it away somewhere, anywhere that's close at reach.

"I know, i know. I just, i miss you."

The shuffling replaced your voice as it gave you time to think. So why did you go with the question you couldn't care less already knowing the answer to it. "How was the afterparty?"

Jenna knows you better than that. It's not foolproof.

"I didn't go."

"You should. Maybe you'd find someone."

A great deal of things this device around her head witnessed but this was fairly new.

"You know i won't-"

"What if you do?"

"Because i don't care about anybody else. Don't you get it already? In these past, what? Months we have been talking on and off?"

She let a sigh slip by her lips. "It was always you."

Hoping your laugh doesn't get mistaken for a rude one, it's just a cover up for what's really playing out behind the screen, you fought through, "Well then, prove it. You've been away for too long anyway."

Not much changed since the last time.

Even though, in regards to sites she visited, this is the most peace felt.

She wasn't an actor. A celebrity. A character. Someone who dealt with vast fame. She was simply Jenna here. And it's the purest version of her.

Standing at the entrance felt like the longest, most torturous thing she ever performed. There was nothing playing over the phone. Jenna still had them on which stopped her from detecting you behind closed doors.

You're not sure how long your hand was laying on the handle, it should probably do something about it soon.

It was not dark outside, but not complete daylight either. Jenna picked up on it when the inside light escaped. Shined on her greater and warmer than any place she's been to provided.

You stood there, for the first time. The silence in Jenna's mind, thanks to your gift, created a chance to worship, take you in ever more. Just like the first time.

Slowly, shortening the painful distance between, no words were said but if only eyes could speak.

It took Jenna some time to notice you removing what kept her grounded for so long. Until she finally heard it, without drawn out ringing of the line or a faulty service.

"You don't need them anymore."

"No. I don't."

notes: as you can see i was so heavy in the feels it needed to be done, thank you for surviving through i love you

[kaynanarie]

JourneyTober! Day 14 - Lunar

            Camp was quiet and peaceful, a rare luxury for the traveling trio. The day had passed without a single yaoguai encounter and unhindered progress had been made. By the time night fell, everyone felt comfortable enough to just relax and enjoy the reprieve.

            A full moon slowly rose overhead, throwing a silvery glow over the slumbering world. Bajie laid on the grass, watching the celestial body make her nightly trip through the sky. Close by, Monkey and Jen were huddled up by the warmth of the fire. The human was protesting her exhaustion, already half asleep and leaning against Monkey’s side while his nephew poorly hid his fond amusement.

            Bajie couldn’t help but snort loud enough that both perked up at the sound.

            “What is it, Uncle Bajie?” Jen asked around a yawn.

            He glanced their way before looking back to the sky. “Nothing, just thinking.”

            “About what?”

            A suspenseful silence followed as Bajie carefully thought out his answer. Finally, he spoke, breaking the stillness of the camp. “You know I met the moon once?”

            “Really?” Jen’s drowsiness vanished in her excitement. “What was she like?”

            “As lovely as the legends say,” Bajie sighed, his mind casting back centuries. “All silver and gold and glowing light. I saw her and fell in love instantly.”

            Monkey’s disbelieving hum was hushed by Jen.

            “Did you ever tell her?”

            The memories turned sour, a melancholy falling over Bajie’s words. “No. She already had another. I couldn’t compete.”

            Jen’s enthusiasm dulled. Even Monkey looked at him in sympathy. “I’m sorry, Bajie.”

            “Don’t be,” he said, waving off their concern. “This was long ago, back when I was still part of the Celestial Court; a whole other life. Besides…” Bajie hesitated, chewing on his next words. “I found someone of my own eventually. Someone even more amazing and wonderful. The moon was lovely but my love, she was the most beautiful and unique creature I ever beheld.”

            He sat up, eyes shining in the firelight as they met Monkey’s curious stare.  

            “But I was a fool; I over looked her for too long. By the time I realized my feelings, it was over. I left her behind and now all I have are regrets to dwell on.” His voice was stern and cautionary; a lecture woven from past mistakes and guilt. "Don’t be like me, don’t overlook what’s in front of you. One day, it’ll be too late.”

            A silent staring contest stretched over the fire, Bajie’s word’s still heavy in the air. Monkey’s expression was carefully neutral, only the tiniest change in his features betraying his emotions; confusion, realization, anger, defensiveness, anxiety, fear. Bajie also took in the barely there tightening of Monkey’s arm around Jen’s shoulders.

            The tension was broken by a quiet snore. Both looked to Jen, fast asleep and cuddled against Monkey’s side. Bajie barked out another laugh, Monkey’s shush too late as Jen was roused by the noise.

            “What I miss?” she mumbled, eyes bleary and unfocused.

            “Nothing, Jen. Go back to sleep,” Bajie said, reclining back on the grass.

            She pouted. “But you were telling us about the moon,” she complained, eyes already slipping shut.

            Monkey smiled, leaning her head back against his shoulder. “Beautiful and unique.”

            “That’s not what Bajie called her…” the words trailed off as Jen fell back to sleep.

            “You should get some rest too, Nephew,” Bajie suggested. “I’ll take first watch.”

            And so he sat awake, listening to the quiet slumbers of his young companions, alone in the long night except for the company of the moon.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ (I wrote this in two hours while half asleep. Shout out to Bajie for trying to be a good Uncle. I have no I idea why this came out so sad, poor Bajie. Thanks to everyone for reading. I'm finally caught up!)

[georgiapeach30513]

Jen, marketing anon from last night!

I came to clarify some comments because I do not want people running to your page and miscontruing things and then bombarding you for no reason. There’s another blog on here that I’ve seen who works in the industry and she was not impressed with the interview either.

This is just my opinion and I am not confirming anything was scripted. But I can tell you I am 1000% sure that interviewer was reading from a page and she looked very very awkward and almost unrehearsed. It bothers me because she works for access Hollywood and they should know beyond better in my opinion.

I work in marketing, yes. My industry is tech - which means the people I work with are usually engineering nerds gone corporate. Very different vibes lol. But we just did a video recently celebrating a partnership with a very prominent bank and our CEO and the client participated in the video. They appeared in the video to be “answering questions” and bless them both, couldn’t make it more obvious they were reading from something on a screen (it’s in the eye contact). Also - the camera pointing right at them while they stare to their left and shift back and forth makes it even more obvious. However, these people are not entertainers, reporters, or actors. Them being awkward on screen is a little less cringe but still meh when this stuff gets posted on YT and Facebook.

Like I mentioned, I can tell that 1000% the AH interviewer is reading off something. Her eyes shifting back and forth and she’s clearly not staring at the camera though the camera is on her face directly. Something was awkward about it but she’s reporting for AH so that’s even more weird to me how unprofessional and very not camera comfortable she looked.

As for CE, he at least looked like he was answering from memory or making it look as such - but he is an actor. That’s what he’s supposed to do.

But I’ll say this: The way he sounded during most of the interview…wasn’t great. I’m not hating on him and I know he’s just doing what he’s told, answering questions that she asked him - but I mentioned the cut away from his face as he started to talk about “personal” stuff was very telling.

Old footage, as he talks over the images that basically don’t have anything to do with the dog food he’s promoting was interesting. To me, it felt like a shoehorn. You don’t see his face as he’s saying the personal stuff and people hear him mention someone’s name. Again.

In marketing, we often have to “insert topic” and add a word or name or buzz topic when we push or promote a campaign. Our writers and social media marketers have to somehow mention what we need mentioned somewhere in the promotion. It can be done in many ways and the intent is always to make it look organic but many times, it feels the opposite. When you’ve been in the field for a bit you can usually pick out the obvious tells of a marketing push, which is why I wanted to send that ask to you last night. Something sincerely doesn’t feel right about all this and I do feel bad because I can see fans who care so much about a celeb being upset that they’re getting yanked around.

But business is business. Please take care of your own mental health if something like this is truly getting to you.

I can’t put words into other people’s mouths but if my boss saw this interview and she was approving it to go live - she would have asked them to re record and ask him to put more life into it. 😂 Also, if the questions were pre approved he could have had a ghost writer come up with something more substantial to say. If this was coming from the heart, well…

Like you mentioned yesterday, that energy he had with his old costar at the walk of fame ceremony was what you can’t fake. He seems like a man who truly wears his emotions and heart on his sleeve and he was genuinely happy and fond of seeing his friend.

This interview though? Yikes. Again, people will see and hear what they want and take what they want from this.

I give this interview a 2/10 as well. 😝

Agree with all your points. To me it’s obvious she was reading from a script. The camera was too close to her face and we see her awkwardly looking to the side. He however, as you mention, does seem to at least “know his lines”. I don’t think it’s absurd to think these questions were pre approved and that he had his speaking points and what he was okay mentioning.

[md-confessions]

js a confession here and overall my thoughts about envy and other ships with N ever since day one, [not bashing any envy shippers! i support opinions but i also have mine.]

i ultimately believe nuzi is most healthiest ship because Uzi doesn't and never has and/or will neglect N. see, the thing with envy and J x N [i do not know the ship name, Jen is unfamiliar to me so im unsure if it's the actual name so i will just be saying J x N] is that both J AND V has treated N horribly. and N has every right to stand his ground and then move on. V has equally treated N the same way J did for as long as he could remember [for a while, at least until he got his memories back] and i mean - i'll get to why it still doesn't work out even after he regained his memories back.

but i mean, V mentions to Uzi in episode 4 about N having friends with rocks. he was lonely. in his eyes, V hardly cared. i believe he liked to believe she did, but based off his experiences, he was optimistic and loyal. he IS loyal to them, i do not think he'd after turn his back actually on J and V unless something drove him to some breaking point. other than that, he was completely lonely despite being kind to the both of them.

the thing with V is, she KNEW she was being a jerk. that was not the way to protect N from the past and what might happen in the future. the way to go was not pushing him away, and she realized this in episode 6 then died protecting him. [im sorry V fans but she literally saluted and did not visibly fight back or want to survive. i believe she's dead unless some kind of convenient clone finds her way back.]

see, the thing is nuzi is that Uzi includes N in about everything. she opens up to him and he supports her, so she does the same. he means the world to her, and the same goes for N. they help each other and their only fights was that time in episode 2 where they separated because Uzi was visibly traumatized and uncertain what was truly real and what wasn't and N decided to give her space. the time in episode 7 was because N had his loyal side come out again to who he thought was Tessa and he appeared to trust her and do his duties. Uzi saw this and thought N was going to hurt her because of Tessa, but again, a lot was happening at the moment and they couldn't process anything properly. V did just die, after all.

of course, they reunited and they embraced each other. they were happy to see each other and the two never "fought" other than that. V and J with N? ...not so much. they hurt him both emotionally and physically but man im sorry N is not stupid. not in the slightest. he is offered someone that genuinely loves him and supports all of his feelings along with opening up about their own and he has feelings for them too and you expect him to trust the people who have hurt him? it is unhealthy.

as for the time N, V and J worked at the manor, let's do a quick rundown because this is getting pretty long.

J is obviously not fond of N. N is not particularly interested either because, excuse me? she pushed him onto the floor and gave him a drawing in his book she knew he reads to kill himself? concerning to say the least.

as for him and V, she obviously had feelings for him as did he with her. but the thing is though, he remembers this but at the same time how V has went out of her way to knock him aside several times after the manor and when they're disassembly drones. i would not trust V fully either if i was in the same position as him. and clearly he seems to be in some relationship with Uzi. N was never in the wrong. V clearly and always was, sadly even from the start. her way of "protecting" him had several flaws and she knew it too.

anyhow, thanks for reading this essay lol luv this blog

⠀

[eliteseven]

[warning cheesy sappyness ahead] ok hear me out, Selune seeking out Serena during a nightly walk (Selune is known to sometimes appear to mortals during a ritual involving a solitary night-time walk under moonlight, i believe its called “night stalk”) probly appearing in her middle aged form, seems least intimidating and its her most frequented form. shes full of gratefulness for all Serenas done and sympathy for all shes endured; shes always had a bleeding heart for noble hearts kicked around by cruel fates. And compassionately restores her memories. The memories themselves are still hazy, but the emotions she felt at the time are clear as day, because those are the parts of the memories that were still imbedded in her heart, the parts Shar couldnt quite reach because god forbid she touch anything relating feeling. Selune wishing her well and telling her ‘yours is a blessed union’ before leaving her standing under the moonlight with tears streaming down her cheeks and her heart so full.

Ahhh, so you see Selûne welcoming Serena into her heart for her sacrifices for Shadowheart, restoring her memories despite her lack of faith! 🥹

That is a benevolent and kind depiction of Selûne, but I do love the wholesome implications 🥰 it would be a sweet way to reward Shadowheart and her betrothed after fighting the good fight against Shar for so long!!

I do think this fits in with our working theme of Serena and Shadowheart’s union being blessed by Selûne!! It’s how they get Jen, after all! I think Selûne might be fond of Serena, despite her apprehension to demonstrate faith or worship. Her mother is a Selûnite, and while she isn’t directly-she has always carried herself honorably and laid her life on the line for Shadowheart and her family.

It would be a sweet gift to Serena, and might give her a little bit of faith 🥰 she would cry 🥺💕

[astriiformes]

NATE BIRTH!! if you're still doing them: ✒️, 💭 ?

Thank you!!

✒️ - You are hired to write/draw a new BttF comic, and it can be about whatever you want. What in the BttF universe would you want to expand on?

Okay, I alluded to a story idea I've had for a while in the tags of one of my other ask responses, but I think a story about Jennifer and Clara having to rescue their time-traveling idiots would be really excellent. It's got everything -- Doc and Marty in peril, an expanded role for some of the ladies (and especially for Jen), the opportunity to write an extremely convoluted time travel plot... I could do it.

💭- Share a favorite memory related to Back to the Future!

I've definitely talked about this before, but back when I was in high school and first figuring out I was trans, I didn't even have a binder yet and started wearing a lot of puffer vests to combat my dysphoria. Naturally, my speech and debate coach, who was a huge fan of the movies, started making BttF jokes whenever he saw me, and even took to calling me McFly sometimes. I, of course, was all for a teacher calling me something other than my legal name, and embraced it.

Looking back, even though he didn't know he was making a trans kid more comfortable (although he has since learned, after I graduated, and was really kind about that as well, which makes the memory that much fonder), it was still one of those little moments of approval from an adult that high schoolers absolutely latch onto. It was part of why I chose to compete with a BttF-themed speech my senior year, which is its own fond memory.

Needless to say, it's one reason trans Marty is an interpretation of the character near and dear to my heart, and I'm glad 17 year-old me had some pretty neat adults in my life, too.

[cybertrad]

erin, you were such a sweetie and i hope youre ok

alice, if youre out there, i hope youre well.

serbian anna, i hope the same for you and i miss u

ade, i have fond memories of you and wish for you the best

devie, despite how bad things got, you will always be a part of me

jen, i should have stayed with you that night, things mightve gone differently

2nd anna, my russian anna, ill always love you...always

[curseofbreadbear]

jumbled f.naf movie thoughts under the cut. proceed with caution because these are ALL spoilers!!

okay i am taking the idea that mike is not related to william and RUNNING. yes, that is mike Schmidt, but still?? there's the weird abby factor too, but i'm thinking so hard abt tossing aside the name because of her similarities to charlie. that LOOKS like kid charlie, not elizabeth, and considering how impeccable the casting was otherwise, i can't help thinking that was intentional? also god the misleads on the names were CRAZY. (remember when we thought "hank" was henry???)

i might take my lore-manipulation even Further and say, given everything, that mike IS mike, vanessa IS vanessa, and abby is a parallel for charlie. there's some book parallels sprinkled in the movie (there's actually a ton that, as a book appreciator (until tftp...), i love) BUT i am thinking especially about the reference to the kids believing spring bonnie is their Friend & how abby fixed their perspective / made them realize who their killer was via drawings. carlton did that in the books iirc, but the connection to charlie and Her Story is there? they also have a brother who went missing when mike was younger and like, that reminded me hardcore of sammy in the books. he was kidnapped, mike couldn't stop it, and he keeps replaying his own memories to try and fix it- just like how, once she remembers sammy exists, charlie references the closet he was taken from multiple times.

ALSO ALSO they have an aunt jane, and i KNOW, i'm stretching, but charlie has an aunt jen in the books. their personalities would be different to some extent (jen was absent & borderline neglectful because she Knew the truth about charlie, whereas jane straight-up wants custody of abby for Greed reasons), but that's still an aunt neither of them are fond of?

also yeah i think this movie is almost like the books in that it is not main canon, but a parallel that is supposed to help you find answers about game lore. that's why vanessa is there, despite that making the timeline Wack, but still has the same overall character. i'm also super supportive of the idea that mike schmidt is NOT michael from sister location because he would also just be a good standalone character.

i actually love the twist of william being vanessa's dad. iirc vanessa also referred to her dad as "bill" in the retro cds, which made me yell abt connected dots. i know that'd fuck up the timeline if it was real in canon, but like.....i adore william being a dad that she is trying to fight against. i think, on the whole, it's meant to represent william acting as a controlling father figure in game canon. it's also representative of vanessa's overall struggle against him, hence her being a "reluctant follower." i love movie vanessa. she got more screentime than game vanessa........

i ADORE the animatronics being portrayed as friends (to kids at least), which is how i always saw them. i also love the nod to william having influence over them bc again, they trusted spring bonnie in the books until they were shown the truth.

BALLOON BOY. straight-up he was the character who jumpscared the most and it was SO funny. i love that balloon boy figurine, i want him in my house Now

my husband (who only knows fnaf through osmosis) and i agree that susie's dog is possessing the cupcake. they made a joke about susie having a pet that somehow inhabits the cupcake now and it gave me a stupid epiphany - william almost definitely killed her dog (points at "toy chica: the high school years") so like...what if dog = cupcake?? that's why it's so damn FERAL (but also protective :'))

the credits.......whoever (on twitter before i left it) said they'd cringe if the movie had "five nights at freddy's" by the living tombstone in the credits was so fucking wrong. i was already mad abt that comment but like, with how much of a love letter this movie is to the series as a whole, it's even better that they got the song from the peak of fnaf's recognition. it's super nostalgic to me as somebody who has been with these games from the beginning. i remember first hyperfixating on fnaf and having a spotify playlist that was JUST the living tombstone's fnaf song. and now i have a playlist of 500+ fnaf fansongs y'know!!!!

ok those are the biggest things i got on my first watch. i know for a fact i am going to watch this multiple times so watch out for possible updates!!!! i'm also probably going to post this several days out because it literally JUST released and i don't want to overwhelm anyone (bc god , the reason i watched asap was because of how terrified of spoilers i was).

[sav1ored]

🍒 Meeeee do me !

send  me  🍒  +  a  url  and  i  will  write  positivity  for  them. || @wiredcapability

//. MY FOREVER TWIN !!! For I have known you for many, many yeeeeeeeeeears as well ! 2017 ! Damn. How has time passed by, huh ? Before covid came in, before I had kids.... jfc... you met me when I was single and not wanting to mingle LMAO ! When I was working at applebees, jfc... those were the days. I mean that's crazy when you think about it. BUT WE MET WHEN WE WERE BOTH playing good ol ramsay bolton, and let me tell you, you are forever chefs kiss when it came to the way you wrote him, and now with negan ? you just know how to grasp any character you rp as. You take them in and make them your own, you add life into them and that's just so amazing. I can't ever express just how inspiring your writing is, and how much feels you put just about everyone in when you write. Like you already know I'm a sucker for what you and michi write first off. Like ugh ugh, never stop. LMAO.

Besides you being so good at roleplaying different amazing muses, we're about to get mushy right here when I say... and like I told Michi, how much love and respect I have for you. You will forever be another one of my virgo sistas.... that doesn't just go away. I cherish our moments together, and I'm glad to have you in my life again cause let's be real.... i had some fond memories of the two of us as well. Known you for such a long time, and us coming together again--- feels like it was only yesterday when the two of us + michi were back on skype talking shit. LMAO !! CAUSE MAN-- I remember our little group chat.

I'm thankful to have crossed paths with you back in the GOT FANDOM, I'm grateful to call you a twin when it comes to our similar taste in muses. My Ramsay loved your Ramsay. LMAO and my Negan def loves your Negan cause holla. That's his boi !! ahah ! Seriously I do hope you can come around and join me and michi on some future adventures we have planned out. And I hope you know just how important and amazing you are. How much I love you, and will always consider you a close friend of mine. Here's to many more years of friendship, I love you so much Jen ! xoxo ! Truth be told I can think of so many things to say about you. How funny you are, and duh like always right ---- #virgosareneverwrong. LMAO !! please don't change girl. you are chefs kiss, I love your Negan so much, I love your threads with Michi. I love having you on my dash, it's truly a gift. <3 xoxoxo !!!

[smolwritingchick]

Hi! I’m not sure if my question is weird or not, but I was wondering, hypothetically, in an alternate universe, if Jennie was not a part of BTS, would she still be able to meet BTS, work with them, and be close with them? And also develop a romantic relationship with Jungkook too? I’m sorry if my question sounds weird.

Hey!! This is NOT a weird question at all! I remember getting this question years ago from readers when they asked about AUs between Jennie and the members. This brought back some memories. Wow. I immediately had to type up the answer because I remember it like it was yesterday.

I had wrote smol brainstorms about it years ago too. I don’t think i have the writings for it anymore though. I had AUs for each member with Jennie strictly being AGED UP and a year or so younger than the members of their respective ages.

Taehyung: Jen would be a non idol while he is with BTS. She works at a pet store and she helped him adopt Yeontan. And they clicked and he started to become fond of her and found himself visiting the pet store more often. He would even make excuses to visit until they exchange contact info and become fast friends, slowly becoming a couple. I thought this scenario was so adorable when I thought of it years ago.

Jimin: I had two scenarios. One would him being super flirty and playful while she thought he was messing around and joking but then he starts to show a more serious side to prove he really likes her. She’d be a solo artist at big hit. Another scenario was her being a soloist and collaborating in a dance for one of the end of the year shows and hitting it off with him with them chemistry.

Yoongi: Jennie would be a non idol and working as a DJ and producer with Big Hit during the mic drop era and meet Yoongi. They would start making music together and he would end up liking her. The members would even start to notice him making more love songs than usual with her on his mind.

Namjoon: Jennie would be a famous American artist while he’s in BTS. He’d attend one of her concerts and meet backstage, wanting to collaborate. She would sign her album for him and they’d take a photo with him posting it on the BTS Twitter. This was inspired when he met Jorja Smith backstage.

Jin: Jen would be a upcoming actress in America and getting to work with Jin for a romance role

J-Hope: Jen would be a non idol and a back up dancer for Big Hit and they’d practice together with her catching his eye. I see fans noticing him smiling when she was dancing for a girl group while some assumed he was smiling at one of the girl group members but in reality it was her

I even remember writing an AU where Jennie was a year older than Jungkook, with him calling her Noona and having a big crush on her while she was a soloist at Big Hit. She’d bump into him during a music show, accidentally spilling her tea on his white shirt 😭 i think i may still have that scenario in my documents

Ok done rambling, now as for my answer to your question, in an AU with her not in BTS, I would say she’d be with her girl group, Amity and have a strong bond with all the girls. No drama. They all have successful solo careers too. She would still be able to meet BTS when she collaborates with Jungkook for a love song. I’d say this could happen around 2018 and later. She’d visit seoul and meet BTS. They’d be so friendly and welcoming while Jungkook would be mesmerized. I see him admiring her for a long time and bringing her up in interviews when asked which artist he’d want to collaborate with. I bet ARMY would be excited it finally happened.

I see her being close with all of Bangtan and asked to collaborate with the entire group for Dynamite. Jungkook would make an effort to learn more English to talk to her but then would be surprised to find out she knows Korean and can speak comfortably in his language. Afterwards I see her visiting Bangtan during their tours and spending more time privately with Jungkook. I see them officially making it public around 2022 or so, asking her out on a date.

Hope this answers your curiosity!! I’ll brainstorm my answers for the other asks in my inbox soon! 📝

[allhailthe70shousewife]

I had super square parents (not complaining at all) so all of classic rock holds no fuzzy, warm, golden memories for me. My childhood was full of Streisand, Henry Mancini, Neil Diamond, and Herb Alpert (mom) as well as Mariachi music, Tom T. Hall, and Waylon Jennings (dad). All of my records were Disneyland Records.

So I present the classic rock I learned to love after I met my husband. For those of you who have fond childhood memories of your own. With your super cool parents👍

[deafmangoes]

An Album of Christmas Carols - 3

Okay let's address the elephant in (on?) the platform:

"Scrooge" (2022, Luke Evans)

I didn't like it.

I will explain in some detail why I didn't like it, but for fairness' sake I'll also talk about the things I did like.

The main reason I didn't like it is because this isn't Ebenezer Scrooge. It's a fundamentally very different character, and for one simple reason.

Scrooge wouldn't keep a pet dog.

Quite aside from anything else, he would see it as a pointless and frivolous expense, but the main reason he wouldn't keep a pet dog is because Scrooge has utterly buried his empathy when we first meet him. He doesn't care about anything or anyone, barely even himself - there's no way he'd open his heart even a tiny crack for the sake of a dog.

The film tries to pass her off as having previously belonged to Marley but oddly fails to properly establish that in the flashback scenes where Marley's alive (although we do see a different dog).

And speaking of Marley...

Ghosts? Ghosts!

Credit to this film, Marley's design is amazing. It's a departure from the traditional but in ways that really work, and I especially loved the coins over the eyes (which makes me think someone on the team had fond memories of Robert Zemeckis' 2009 A Christmas Carol, staring Jim Carrey...), as I thought it made perfect symbolism for being blinded by avarice.

Luke Evans is too busy singing to notice Marley appear in the door knocker and this version dispenses with all the other signs except the bells (which happen mid-appearance) - Marley even excuses this as "those in charge demand a touch of pageantry".

The change to Marley's age, relative to Scrooge, was another interesting departure. They went for a "mentor/mentee" vibe, rather than the "equal partners" they're usually shown to be. It feeds into a much larger attempt to humanise Scrooge from the beginning, which I'll get into, but I do think was a mistake and chips away at the narrative integrity.

(Pictured, my expression through a lot of this film).

Christmas Past is Olivia Coleman playing an exaggerated version of herself. Her design, made of malleable wax, allows a lot of creative freedom on the part of the animators, and avoids the usual issues with the whole 'ineffable being of light' thing.

Scrooge's childhood in this film is a complete change from normal. Taking, I think, from Dickens' own experiences, Scrooge here was a child labourer (+1 sympathy points), his father went to a debtor's prison (+1 Freudian excuse), and for once his mother didn't die in childbirth! These points also come up in the 2004 A Christmas Carol musical staring Kelsey Grammar - the writers and animators of Netflix's adaptation have clearly shopped around for ideas.

A change I didn't understand was the names - Nephew Fred becomes Harry. Sister Fan becomes Jen. Curious choice. Scrooge's love interest remains Isabel this time.

We skip Scrooge's time with Fezziwig, meeting the man later in life and having Scrooge begin his romance with Isabel only after he'd started working with Marley (which... again confuses matters, he was already on the up when the engagement began instead of being a poor apprentice).

And this is when the movie threw me for a loop. It just straight up uses the songs from Albert Finney's 1970 musical.

Not even the good ones. Although it did make "Happiness" shorter and more bearable than 1970's snoozefest.

We see young Scrooge and Marley close down a bakery and are informed that it belonged to Bob's father, which I actually liked. At least within this film's logic and treatment of Scrooge, it made it feel like he took on Bob as an employee out of buried guilt.

Christmas Present was... weird. A big nod to 1970's take on the character for sure, even reprising "I Like Life" (with Gospel, for some reason), but boy howdy did I hate the Minions Cheerlings, or whatever they're called. Those pink-purple fairy bastards.

Fred Harry's party is shown, and again a credit to the adaptation - they showcase a lot of diversity that genuinely did exist in Victorian London, in this case Harry is in an interracial marriage (which does imply Scrooge might also be a bit racist). The Cratchit's Christmas runs beat-for-beat as it usually does, including a (again, mercifully shorter) version of "On A Christmas Morning" from 1970's version. Scrooge is given reinforcing visions that Bob's poverty is both directly and indirectly his fault - poor wages in the present and eviction in the past.

Christmas Present makes a, as far as I know, unique transformation into Christmas Yet To Come - sadly accompanied by the bloody Cheerlings who now become 'Fearlings'.

We're treated to a (shorter, again) version of "Thank You Very Much" delivered by Tom Jenkins the Toymaker rather than Tom Jenkins the Soup Vendor before heading straight to the graveyard.

To his credit, and the film's, Scrooge's overall more human characterisation comes out in force here - he admits his own guilt and even confronts that he might be past saving, but begs to at least exchange his life for Tim's and correct the injustice he's done to the Cratchit family as a whole. That was a good change.

Despite leaning on 1970's version for many things, Scrooge does not go to Hell. Shame.

Highlights & Humbugs

Like I said at the outset, I didn't enjoy this version. It doesn't quite know what it wants to be - a creative reimagining of the story, particularly Scrooge's character, or a nod to a famous musical adaptation of the past. The songs are schizophrenic, partly because some come from the 70s and some from the new 20s. The opening number is saccharine and lifeless, and misses out on contrasting the general happiness with something like 1970's "I Hate People". We do get "Tell Me", but it doesn't have the same impact.

Prudence the dog doesn't add to the story and messes up Scrooge's characterisation. Marley's good, though the age difference makes him less of a reflection of Scrooge's life choices and more an example not to follow. The added humanising of Scrooge works in some ways but detracts in others - rather than a "cruel, wrenching, covetous old sinner", as Dickens puts it, we get the impression of a guilt-ridden middle-aged man who doesn't know how to redeem himself but secretly wants to.

And, uh, Cheerlings. See picture above for my thoughts on that.

Overall... 3 out of 10 Humbugs. It's just not good. Sorry Tumblr fans of "DILF Scrooge".

[obigem]

Suffice to say, the second honeymoon week had treated Cam and Dre well.

They'd been having more woohoo than they ever thought they would or could, and Andrea had never been more relaxed in her life.

But now that they've treated their bodies, Andrea ws up for them to finally treat their souls.

How often did she get to be close to Cameron and just talk anymore? And not about their kids or careers, but their feelings, their hopes, and their dreams?

"So, I was thinking, maybe we could play that intimacy game tonight."

"A game, huh? I'm game." Cam went in to pull her close, but she shrugged him off.

"No, Cam. Not that kind of game. I mean like the ones Dr. Jen said we should try."

"A therapy game?" Cam rose an eyebrow.

"Babe, you wanna use our precious us time to do couples counseling homework?"

"It doesn't have to be homework. Or at least, I don't want it to feel that way. It's just, isn't there anything you've always wanted to ask me but never did or could? Why don't we try now. Ask me."

"Why does this feel like a trap?" Cam smirked.

"It's not. I promise you. I just feel like tearing down more of our walls. I don't want this week to just be about sex."

"OK, then. I agree with you. But you first."

"Fine." Dre playfully nudged him.

"So, this is something I've been wondering about a while. Years actually."

"Years?" Cam got nervous about what the question might be. "What is it?"

"Well, it's kind of embarassing, and I probably shouldn't care or wonder—"

"Dre, spit it out."

"OK. Do you remember that week that Dominic Fyers stayed with us."

"Unfortunately. It's not exactly a fond memory or something I like to remember."

"I know. For me either. But there was a moment in there, where we all went out to dinner together."

"I had my hair done up, and wore those strappy heels that laced up my calves, and I was wearing that cute frilly dress."

"Yeah, I remember."

"So....did you really think I just looked fine in that?"

"Dre, that's your question?"

"Well, yeah. I remember I spent so long that day getting ready because I wanted to look knock out gorgeous for you, and then you said I looked 'fine' and I never wore that outfit again. It was cursed, for many reasons but namely because I thought you thought I looked ugly in it."

"Dre, of course I thought you looked knock out gorgeous in that outfit."

"Then why didn't you say it?"

"Because. At that point I knew you had been dishonest, so I was upset with you. And also Dominic was practically oggling you. It made me uncomfortable and more upset."

"I didn't know if you were wearing that for him or for me, and even if it was for me, I had my suspicions about Dominic's intentions toward you. I hated him being able to see you dressed like that."

"So you were jealous?"

"Maybe a little...or a lot." Cam conceded.

[thegreatimpersonator]

Jen's Thoughts On Pride & Prejudice!

Honest first thoughts: I have a *very hard* time reading books and I am going off of memory, I read this book a few years ago and refreshed myself online. Hope that's okay!

Favorite Characters: Lizzie Bennet, Mr. Darcy, Jane Bennet, Mrs. Bennet

Some Favorite Quotes: "What are men to rocks and mountains?" // "To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love."

I think my favorite part of this book, and honestly a favorite quality in a lot of books that I love would be the character development honey!!!!! I'm a sucker for a character that changes for the better as the story goes on and learns through themselves AND! others to see the world in a different way, and that's what this story is all about! You think you know somebody and sometimes you're just wrong.

Favorite Adaptation: 2005 Film by Joe Wright

This is a feel-good story for me, it's one that I often find myself thinking about and wishing I could sit and read thoroughly. I will someday soon, hopefully. I remember feeling frustrated at parts, but it all seemed to come together so beautifully that by the end I wasn't mad anymore lol. I hope you've all enjoyed it, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts with me!

I made some fun polls that I've linked here for some characters and their favorite Taylor lyrics heheh hope you enjoy!

Lots of Love, Jen xo