#jem song : visage.

[sorrymcm]

tag drop : muses pt. 1

[artificialqueens]

Flying Low Chapter 12 (Group Fic) - Jem

An: You guys have no idea how happy all of the feedback has made me. Thank you everyone who has read, liked, or commented. This story has been such a wonderful journey to write. This is almost the end, and we’re looking at probably only an epilogue after this.

Summary: Sharon surprises Alaska

Chapter 12

“Sharon.” Alaska said, her voice shaking. “I’m not sure about this.”

Her hands reached for the blindfold around her eyes as she tentatively stumbled forward. There was so much noise all around her, but she couldn’t make out anything specific.

“It’s ok, we’re almost there.” Sharon reassured her, hands guiding her firmly by the shoulders. “But if the blindfold doesn’t feel good you can take it off, you just have to promise to keep your eyes closed.”

“I’ll be fine.” Alaska said, trying to convince herself. She was with Sharon, so of course she was safe; it was just a little unnerving. The hustle and bustle began to condense and shrink, and Alaska could tell they’d stepped inside somewhere. Sharon led her around a few turns and twists before she finally stopped and told her to take off her blindfold.

“Surprise.” Sharon whispered in her ear as she opened her eyes.

Bright lights hit Alaska’s retinas and as she focused, she saw the familiar faces of all her friends.

“Alaska!” Adore yelled, running up and asking to hug her. There were others too, Courtney, Willam, Bianca, Jinkx, Katya, Roxxxy and Detox, even Alyssa.

They each came up to hug her in turn, and Alaska let herself be swept up in the love and support surrounding her. Willam pretended to be mad that Alaska hadn’t been answering her calls, but she knew she was just happy to see her. The AAA girls were reunited, and Courtney forced them into a group hug with her tiny arms. Alaska could see they’d both been worried about her, despite the jokes they made about her ‘leaving the band’. She’d missed all of her friends a lot, and she hadn’t even realized.

“Hey baby,” Detox squeezed her arm and Roxxxy joined beside her.

“Hey D.” Alaska could tell that someone had told them what had happened. She could see the pity in their eyes, and tried not to let it get to her. They may not have been the clique that they’d appeared to be on the Race, but Detox and Roxxxy could read her like a book even now.

“How are you, Lasky?” Detox asked, brushing Alaska’s hair gently with her fingers.

“I’m ok.” She told them both. “Really.” They seemed convinced, and that’s because it was true, this time. “What have you guys been up to?”

They filled her in on their lives. They’d both been doing shows around the states, and Detox had been working on some music. Alaska couldn’t help but feel like her own career was at a bit of a standstill in comparison to what they’d accomplished in the past few months. She supposed that’s what happened when the world kept working at such a fast pace while she’d been hiding away. Some of the queens had been back on BOTS, and Alaska wasn’t sure if they were lying when they said it wasn’t the same without her. She tried not to think about it too much. A part of her longed to be back at work, but another part wanted to stay in the blissful peace she had with Sharon.

Finally, Michelle Visage herself made her way up to the tall queen, squeezing her a little longer and tighter than the others had.

“I’m sorry,” Alaska whispered into Michelle’s shoulder. She had a lot to apologize for: being a brat, not answering Michelle’s calls, not taking Michelle’s advice, snapping at her once or twice. But she knew that Michelle didn’t take it personally, and the woman just rubbed her hands in circles on her back for a few seconds as if to say that it was all ok.

She could see now that they were in a small dressing room, and all the queens were in various states of getting in drag. Sharon took her hand and led her over to a mirror, where her costumes were hanging on a rack and her makeup and wigs were stored on the counter. The door of the room opened, and Alaska was greeted with her dear musician friend, Jeremy.  

“Jeremy?” She couldn’t help the smile that grew on her face.

“Hiya, doll.” He said softly, with a grin. Alaska hadn’t seen him since before she’d left for BOTS and hadn’t realized how much she’d missed him.

Everyone got settled in, and Michelle came up to Alaska’s station to explain what was going on. As much as Alaska loved seeing all her friends again, she was admittedly a little confused about why she was here.

“We’ve got a small show planned for tonight.” Michelle began. “ All the girls are gonna do a little something, but it’s very low key and a small venue. We thought you might like a time slot.”

“How the fuck did you plan all this without me noticing?” Alaska asked, looking around the room in awe.

“We haven’t been thinking much about drag, lately.” Sharon wiggled her eyebrows. Obviously she’d had a large hand in planning all of this.

“We know it’s a lot.” Jinkx told her. “But that’s why it’s here, and you can just watch in the audience if you want, but we thought you could try?”

“I-I don’t have anything prepared.”

“You know I can play anything you want. You can just sit and sing.” Jeremy drawled gently.

Alaska pondered for a moment, and the usual worry began to seep in. Performing again sounded amazing, and it had been all she wanted to do for so long, but now, she was afraid of what could happen. She hadn’t practiced anything in a long time, and she was a little worried that she’d freeze up on stage.

“Don’t you think everyone’s going to ask me where I’ve been?” She asked, her voice small.

“You know what I think?” Sharon began. “Fuck them. I know we all love our fans and owe them a lot, but you don’t owe them your personal life. You don’t have to tell them anything, just be back and better than ever.”

“Ok.” Alaska said firmly, making up her mind.

“Ok?” Jinkx looked hopeful, a glint of excitement in her eyes.

“Ok, I’ll do it.”

———

Alaska relished in the routine of getting in drag again for the first time in months. Sharon had made sure they arrived early so she’d have as much time as she needed. The spooky queen was sitting out on performing tonight, and instead helped Alaska get ready.

It was a bit like the old days, minus the secret resentment they’d had for each other after they’d both been on the Race. Sharon brushed out her wig to the best of her ability, complaining about how Alaska hadn’t changed in terms of proper wig care.

She really took her time on her face, enjoying how she transformed from awkward Justin, to Alien Princess Alaska again. Maybe she went a little overboard with the glitter, but she was a fucking drag queen and being drowned in glitter was a right.

Finally, she was backstage waiting, and the panic began to grip her again. Her body tensed up and she couldn’t make herself relax. Time was ticking, and if she wanted to back out it had to be soon.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” She whispered, her brain was conflicted. To run? Or to stay?

“I know you can.” Sharon reassured her. “And if you really want out it’s totally fine, we can go sit in the audience, or watch from backstage, but just know that we’re all here rooting for you no matter what.”

“I have missed it.” She admitted, trying to remind herself.

“You can just do one song, or as many as you like.”

Sharon was right. Alaska had got this. She’d done much bigger shows a hundred times before, and this didn’t have to be any different. She was worried about the fans, and how they’d receive her return, but it was such a small venue that she was sure not too many people had their eye on her.

“And remember, if they boo you off the stage, boos are just applause from ghosts.”

Alaska laughed, and Sharon brushed a kiss against her cheek. “I’ll be in the audience, you can join me after or watch from backstage. Good luck.”

She slipped away, and Alaska didn’t have to miss her too long before another hand gripped hers: Jeremy. He didn’t have to say anything but she immediately felt calm in the familiarity. She was going to be fine.

——–

As Alaska stepped onstage and the lights hit her eyes, everything changed. The audience screamed, but not any more or less than usual. She could hear them speaking her greeting, so she couldn’t not join them in a long “Hieeeeee!”. Jeremy settled down at the piano, and Alaska moved the mic stand to her height. Willam had done a number before her and wasn’t nearly as tall as her. As much as Alaska would have liked to do some of her more upbeat pieces, she didn’t have any choreography or music, so the laid back ones would have to do.

She fell back into the familiarity of singing with just Jeremy to support her. Any time she slipped up, he was there to catch her. They ended up performing Legendary, Killer, and Everything Tonight. The crowd was such a good group, and they seemed to appreciate some of her lesser known songs anyways.

At the end of the set, she looked out into the audience and saw someone had scribbled on a piece of paper to make a sign. It read, ’We Missed You Alaska’, with about a dozen hearts drawn underneath. Alaska was hit with a tornado of emotions at the sight. She’d missed this, the music, drag, the fans, so much too. She managed to make it backstage without making a scene, and Courtney went up to perform some songs from her album, looking gorgeous in a new wig from her wig company. As Alaska stood and watched from the wings, she realized that her breath wouldn’t slow down, and tears began to form in her eyes.

A few minutes later she heard someone coming up beside her, Alyssa, and she tried to hide her face as the older queen approached her.

“Oh, baby, you’re crying.” Alyssa put a hand on Alaska’s shoulder. “You know I always hated it on our season when you’d cry.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine.” Alaska tried to get a grip but she could stop the tears. God, why was she so emotional? She was so happy, why was this happening? Everything just felt so overwhelming.

“Come here.” Alyssa pulled her into a hug. “Now now, I’m serious, if you don’t stop this sniffling business I’m gonna be right behind you, honey.” Alyssa joked.

“I was such a baby on our season, wasn’t I? Probably annoyed the shit out of everyone.”

“No, honey. I mean, you did cry a lot but it always made me sad to see you sad.”

“I’m happy, I swear.” She tried to convince Alyssa. “I’m just feeling so many emotions at once, and it’s a lot.”

“I know, baby.” Alyssa began to stroke Alaska’s hair until her breathing slowed. “Do you want me to go find Sharon?” Alaska nodded against her. “Yeah, let’s find Sharon.”

Alyssa led her back into the dressing room from backstage, and Sharon was standing by the wall holding a paper bag of takeout. Clearly she hadn’t been expecting Alaska back just yet.

“Lask?” She asked, and the relaxed look on her face immediately turned to one of worry as she saw Alyssa practically supporting the skinny queen’s weight. She threw down her bag, obviously ready to help with whatever Alaska needed.

“She’s good, Sharon.” Alyssa told her as Alaska untangled herself from the older queen to practically throw herself into Sharon’s arms. Her face was still wet with tears, but she’d stopped sobbing and she couldn’t help the big smile forming on her face.

“Thank you.” She told Sharon as the queen pulled her close. “Thank you so much, you have no idea.”

“Anything for you.” Sharon whispered back. She helped Alaska fix her face from crying and the two of them headed into the audience to sit. Luckily, no one seemed so curious that they needed to bother them, so they managed to slip into their seats with little fuss.

Alaska loved drag and as each of her friends went up to perform, she felt grounded with reality again. This was what she was meant to be doing, and she was so grateful to have people in her life who loved her enough to plan something like this. It was a wild show, with a mix of singing, dancing, and comedy. The best kind of drag show.

Adore began to perform onstage, and as the music played, Alaska recognized that it was their song together. Adore started off on her own, but as she neared Alaska’s verse, she beckoned for her to come up on stage. Alaska looked over to Sharon, asking with her eyes if she should go, and the older queen gave her a gentle push on her shoulders.

“Get out of here, bitch.” She said, but her mouth was quirked up in a smile, showing the gap in her front teeth. It was cute.

Alaska hopped up to join Adore, and though neither of them had planned choreography, the audience seemed to eat it up. Adore was a naturally cuddly person, and she gripped onto Alaska’s waist with both hands as they strutted the stage, looking pretty fuckig cool. When the song finished, she grabbed Alaska’s hand and held it high up in the air as the crowd cheered. This was better than winning a sports tournament, a wrestling match, or even Rupaul’s Drag Race itself. The show came to an end, and Michelle Visage came out to give a final goodbye to the audience. The other queens joined Adore and Alaska onstage, clasping hands together and making an awkward group hug.

They were proud of her, weren’t they? Michelle wouldn’t stop smiling and Alaska looked to the audience to see Sharon and her scruffy hair standing and clapping for them all. They were all here because they loved her, and that meant everything to her.

But more than all of that, Alaska was proud of herself.