#jeffrey dean morgan's smile might be the best thing in the world

[linusbenjamin]

The Boys 2.01 "The Big Ride" // 4.06 "Dirty Business"

[luxshine]

The Great Supernatural Rewatch Project - Salvation

I started writting this in the middle of season 13 but RL and work and some mental health issues made me take a step back from fandom in general and well, I was also fearing this would be an unending job since the series JUST.KEPT. GOING.

However, now that the series is done (And omg, what a clusterfuck that was. My tallies are going to go insane if I get there) and thus there’s an ending in sight, I will do my best to finish season 1, and try and get the rest of the seasons in a more timely manner. Say, before they do the inevitable reunion and ignore the last episode completely.

(I’m going to be honest, part of the problem was that Supernatural used to be SO good back then, and when I see the new episodes I weep a bit inside. I can’t believe they were so much better at creating story arcs when they weren’t TRYING to create story arcs)

Of course, now we all know that Dean’s plots in general will not have a happy ending no matter what, and that makes that particular tally bittersweet. But there are STILL people who claim that nope, Dean was never mistreated by the writers and well, Jack damn it, I am not going to let that claim go without bringing numbers to the table. Hopefully, it won’t take me 15 years to finish (Because by then, I would be the only one caring I guess)

In any case, last lap for Season 1 and we begin with Salvation.

General stuff

A specific reason for me having rage quitted this episode in particular for so long: For some stupid copyright thing with Netflix, they don’t have Carry On My Wayward Son as the song for the final recap –at least in Netflix Latam. And Supernatural without Carry On My Wayward Son is no Supernatural. So I had to hunt my DVDs. Then my computer DVD player died. Then I decided to make 5 webcomics at the same time. THEN I decided to start doing illustration works, and three other projects and let’s just say I am a bit of a workaholic and leave it like that as the rest is not SPN-related.

Ahem.

Funny thing about the Road so Far –you know, besides being a LOT shorter than the ones we’re getting now- is that it focuses a lot more on DEAN at the beginning, while if you watch the show, well, we know most of those Dean scenes come from MoW episodes and not the actual mytharc. Another interesting thing is that if one believes those things to be chronological, it makes it as if the Colt had been with the brothers for a lot longer than half an episode, and that Sam’s issue with the visions is not that recent. Edition Magic everyone! Also, omg, they were babies when the series started, and how WEIRD is to see John looking at them with pride and smiling at Dean at some points.

Anyway, the recap and the epicness that is Carry On my Wayward Son ends and we start the actual plot.

Hello Pastor Jim. Goodbye Pastor Jim. And here Supernatural begins the long, long tradition of killing characters who could’ve been useful later on, and more importantly, that could’ve been the boys’s support system later on. While here it’s understandable since we need to show how dangerous and vicious Meg is –ah, irony that in about 8 seasons people will be rooting for her Redemption- it also makes the Hunters kind of useless. I mean, he has all that weaponry and only uses a knife? Sigh. Really, a waste. Pastor Jim as a concept was really intriguing –and I don’t think we’ve heard of any other hunter who was also a priest. Funny, when we have so many demons free now. There’s also the fact that when Pastor Jim claims that she can’t be in the church because it’s hallowed ground, she replies that “That might work with the minor leagues, but not with her” and I wonder… did we ever got a demon that couldn’t enter a church? Because right now out of the top of my head I can’t remember, and yet Pastor Jim was surprised but later no one seems to think it weird there were signs of demonic activity around his body. Another sign that, as engaging as the series was, once we start digging the world building, things fall apart very quickly.

Actually, if I may digress for a bit, here we have the very first look at Supernatural´s second biggest problem: killing support characters that may have been useful lately. Here it is because Kirkpe had this weird idea that Hunting would never be glamorized by the show/fandom and it would be a completely miserable and lonely existence. He also didn’t think that the series would survive past season 2. So, ok, killing the guy we only knew by throw away lines didn’t seem so bad. By season 13 every single recurring character had died at least once –and there were petitions to bring back I think every one of those who haven’t come back- it’s a big problem.

As I restarted writing, I also realized that the mere existence of Pastor Jim and his room of awesome research and weapons creates a problem in the future about the Men of Letters because… ok, so ONE member of the clerigy knew enough about demons and stuff to be a hunter and have THE Hunter as his main contact (John Winchester was sort of a legend back then. And he had also fell out of contact with many others so the fact that he and Pastor Jim were still friendly? Kind of interesting), but what about the rest? Did the Vatican have any contact with the British men of Letters or the American ones? And if so, what the hell did they think when suddenly ALL the Men of Letters disappeared? Ok, so that’s a lot of stuff that doesn’t matter right now as it won’t actually exist until much, much, MUCH latter, but see what I mean when I say that they didn’t plan anything and the lack of a series bible hurts the show more than it helped it thrive? I am realizing right now I could write a whole treaty on the Men of Letters and their non-relationship with hunters ONLY using this cold beginning and the Henry Winchester episode.

But this is not the time for that, so we get our title card and a very, VERY young Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

We move to John who is explaining off camera everything he knows about Yellow Eye´s plan. We can tell it´s not much as he thinks it came out of hibernation and that the whole attacking families is part of a cycle, but back then it was impressive how much he had managed to find out about this demon. We also know that it attacks exactly when the baby in the house is six months old, which brings us to this little jewel:

JOHN It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us.

SAM Families with infants?

JOHN Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday. 

SAM I was six months old that night?

JOHN Exactly six months.

SAM So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of me?

DEAN We don't know that Sam.

SAM Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Dean.

DEAN For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault. 

SAM Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem.

DEAN No it's not your problem it's our problem!

 Now, in the following seasons we will know that yes, it was ALL about Sam. But right now, the characters and the viewers don´t know that. We know that a lot of families were killed by the demon (That at this point was still “The demon” and wouldn´t become Azazael until later), and that he doesn´t take the children. So… how did Sam leap from “this demon attacks families with 6 month old children” to “It´s all about ME!”? He even ignores that Dean and John lost Mary for his last line, when he decides it´s his problem and not their problem. Also, and this is important for the “Dean is the most awful person to Sam” crowd… Dean immediately tells Sam that no, it´s not his fault. While he could harbor some ill feelings against Sam –and demon Dean, 8 seasons later, will voice them- at this point he is 100% on Sam´s side. There’s also a sideway glance from John to DEAN when Sam claims that everything is about him, and then I wonder exactly why, if John knew all about the fact that the demon chased six month old children specifically, he never resented Sam over it. One would think that given John’s love for Mary and deep desire to revenge, Sam would really be the outcast and the one only treated like a soldier (as he claims he was, but not really as we’ve seen), instead of Dean who was completely blameless in the whole thing.

(Also, this is the first time we see that Azazael´s plan didn´t make much sense IF we believed that Kirkpe had everything planned. But that´s a discussion for another time)

Anyway, John interrupts the argument to explain that while he has no idea what the demon is after (Another thing that later would be contradicted as he knew Sam had powers), but that he has managed to figure out his pattern of attack to the point that it even repeated it for Jessica’s killing (Even if much, much later, we’ll learn that it wasn’t Azazael the one who killed her, and Demons would completely forego the signs when attacking. Have I mentioned I miss the times when the myths made sense?) and the three of them pack up for their first real hunt together as they decide they will save the next baby on the demon’s list, in a town named Salvation.

Important thing to note: when John recites the demon signs, Dean immediately replies “that happened in Lawerence”. He remembers, quite clearly, what happened a week before his mother died even if logistically, at his age? He wouldn’t care nor notice. Sure, he remembers his mom’s death because that was traumatic. But random cow deaths before that? Weird show.

If Sam noticed or not the signs before Jessica died, we don’t know. John is the one who points out they happened.

After two gorgeous road shots where we see John’s truck being followed by Baby (yet another thing we lost, John’s truck. I know we needed to have the guys together all the time, but man, if Sam had inherited it, they would’ve been able to cover more terrain at times, have double the arsenal and maybe not being identified by everyone and their leviathan in season 7, but I digress), and just entering Salvation John stops, obviously spooked by something. As Dean stops behind him, they find out that Pastor Jim is dead, and John got a call from another hunter named Caleb to tell him. They assume it may be the demon they’re chasing, or maybe another demon that was looking for Pastor Jim specifically but that last theory is not very probable.

Here I have to pause to applaud Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s acting, as you can practically FEEL John’s despair at knowing an old friend of him died, and that HE was probably the cause for that death. A Winchester trait, of course, blaming themselves for everything bad that happens in their world, but unlike Sam’s early outburst, here it seems far more desperate. Of course, JDM had a lot more experience than Jared at that point, but I really wanted to make a note of it because we lost a LOT of that characterization for John, where he actually WORRIED about people and not just the hunt. Even as he decides the plan for finding out what baby the demon will take in a week, we can see him broken and confused. So much that while Sam calls him “sir” when receiving orders, Dean continues the conversation by calling him “Dad”.

John then declares that this ends now, obviously feeling responsible for what happened to his friend. A long shot from the flanderized man we’d hear about in future seasons who was infamous for letting his hunting partners die without so much as a second glance.

Also, and not to be mean to the writers, but in their endless accidentally making Sam unsympathetic, they made him say that there were too many children in the county that could be a victim and that it would take forever to check all of them. While I KNOW the intent was to make clear that they had a deadline of one week, it comes out weirdly as “I don’t want to do the footwork.” Seriously, writers should be careful with that.

Actually, let’s dissect that. Because I just thought of two ways they could’ve fixed it AND give us more info.

JOHN Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health centre in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week.

SAM Dad that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which one's the right one?

JOHN We check em all that's how. You got any better ideas?

SAM No sir.

So, first way to make Sam not look that bad: Give the line to Dean. I wouldn’t like it specially, but hey, he’s the sidekick, not the hero, and so far he has only wanted to bail on ONE hunt because he wasn’t sure it was a supernatural hunt so he’d be better standing than Sam in that regard.

Second way: Make Sam say that YES, he has a better idea. Because the brothers ALREADY faced Max, so he could say they could look for a baby that was a bit “strange”, like, with poltergeist stuff going around. John could not believe him, but at least Sam would be being proactive.

In any case, they separate as John planned and we see each of them get into the hospital records. We get a glimpse of John’s collection of fake IDs, that include one for a Morgue forensic doctor, then Sam getting a homely nurse giving him files and him taking notes, and Dean… getting flirty with a very hot nurse.

And I make a point of the “Oh, look, Dean is an irresponsible womanizer” trope because once again the writers shoot themselves in the foot by showing the opposite of what they were telling (And no, this time I can’t blame it on Jensen’s acting and refusal to look at his female co-stars without respect).

WOMAN Hi. Is there anything I can do for you?

DEAN (smiling) Oh God yes.

She smiles and looks down.

DEAN (Holding up his ID) Only I'm uh....working right now, so...

The writers here make us remember that a) Dean is AMAZINGLY charismatic, as the woman IS flattered and seems interested, and b) That he will NOT dump his work for a quickie. We don’t even get a “maybe later” that could make him look as if he was really into her. It’s just that he flirts naturally, or at least, this is what we can infer now, as so far he hasn’t had any one night stand fling. The one time we saw him have a sexual encounter in the middle of a hunt was with an ex-girlfriend.

And again I have to wonder what was Sera Gamble’s intention with those scenes as yes, this was written by the same team as Faith, another episode where Sam’s good intentions tend to have a darker side, and gave Dean some amazingly cool scenes.

We don’t know what Dean says to the woman, as we cut back to Sam, coming out of the hospital just in time to have a very convenient vision of a woman, a nursery and a fire. Thankfully, the vision also comes with the useful audio hint of a train passing by, so Sam gets out his map and starts checking where that could be, which leads him to the house in his vision.

And by this point, we know we’re in the right track and this is an important Myth Arc episode, because Sam only has multiple visions in Myth Arc episodes, and he has one the moment he steps in front of the house in said vision. The gods of convenience smile upon him as right then and there a woman pushing a pram comes by, and he manages to talk to her, all friendly like by pretending to having just moved. Then Sam learns the woman’s name is Monica, her baby is Rosie, and Rosie is just six months old, exactly to the day.

Also, that she’s a very quiet baby and that it sometimes seems as if she was reading your mind. Oh, and that Monica really is blind to suspicious men asking her about her family with a face that reads “Oh shit, this is bad”.

Now, HERE is where the whole “five year myth arc” story falls completely. I mean, we already knew it was pretty unlikely it was real, given Kirkpe’s original interviews, but the mere existence of Rosie contradicts every single future story beat. Because if SHE has powers before Azazael goes into her house, then it means that the babies he was hunting didn’t get powers because of him, just that his blood either connected them (hence Sam’s very specific visions), made said powers far more powerful (quite likely), or made them a little bit more prone to violence/prideful behavior. All of those possibilities match with the plan of “raising” a new King or Queen of Hell, that would be faithful to Azazael, but are a bit iffy on the “finding Lucifer’s vessel” thing. Especially since we later learn that the Angels were also helping, and all Hell knew that Lucifer’s vessel HAD to come from the Winchester/Campbell bloodline due to Cain and Abel being the roots of said bloodline, and later pretty much everyone knew Sam was Lucifer’s vessel so the whole targeting a ton of kids, in particular after Mary’s death, is kinda weird.

Oh, Lux, you will say, it is because he wanted to hide his true intentions! No one knew that Sam had been feed demon blood!

Except that the important parties, namely Heaven and Hell, did. Michael had Heaven convinced of his orders, so even if a rogue angel found out that they were speed running the Apocalypse, said angel could be killed. And any demon who was against getting Lucifer back on top would be smart enough to keep quiet so, why the secrecy?

And again, ok, I buy the original demon blood kids being important to “hide” Lucifer’s vessel but… Rosie? What good would it do to Azazael’s plan to have a psychic 4 year old when Lucifer rose? Was “little four year old girl” a good match against a grown up hunter? What was Azazel thinking, if that was the plan all the time?

Now, I want to make clear this doesn’t make THIS episode or the Season-myth arc bad. This original “Boy King of Hell” storyline WAS good. It had a lot of potential, made sense for Sam and since it was before the days of the eternal “What is wrong with Sam?” seasons, there was no boredom of a repeat. It also set a very good question of what made a monster a monster, which would be explored a bit more in Season 2. And it was long before we realized Dean having a myth arc was a pipe dream, so there was no issue there either. It made sense.

But the fact that the writers kind of forgot about everything I just pointed out with Rosie’s scene to try and weld this to the “Heaven vs. Hell” storyline in season 4, and then just promptly forgot because Sam’s powers were then firmly connected to Azazael’s blood so they never came up again and even worse, we never find another psychic kid that could’ve been feed blood by Azazael THIS year that John was chasing him? (Since we know there were no other survivors from Sam’s generation, and later we have a scene that proves that there were no previous generations to Sam’s), it's kind of weird. Personally, I dunno about you, but maybe a return to this storyline in season 6 would’ve been a lot better than we got. Maybe.

By the way, I am not counting the Boy King of Hell story arc as a dropped plot for Sam yet, as we’re going to keep with this at least until season 3. Yes, now we know it didn’t go anywhere, but at the time, and for these episodes in particular, it was THE myth arc of Supernatural. So it can’t be counted as dropped plot yet.

In any case, Sam goes and tells John and Dean about his vision and… oh, boy do we have to move John’s reaction to Emotional Violence.

It’s not good.

But before he can do more damage to Dean’s psyche, Sam gets a call from our favorite demon, Meg. Even if he doesn’t recognize her voice immediately which is weird because a) he did throw her off a window and one would think that makes a girl memorable, and b) it’s not as he knows that many girls who would call him, despite Dean’s best efforts to get him a new girl.

Meg dismisses Sam and asks for John. She makes clear that she is not playing, that she knows he has the Colt and that he will kill every single person who has ever helped John unless he gives it to her that same day at midnight. And to the brothers’ surprise, John accepts those terms (Unfortunately not before we loss Caleb too. I have a lot less interest in Caleb as a character given that he has exactly half a line in the whole show, but it’s still it’s sad to see a guy so defiant even in the face of death go so soon).

Meg also points out that John having the Colt is a “declaration of war” which is interesting as it sort of implies that if he hadn’t gotten it, then the demons would leave him and the brothers alone. And I find that incredibly funny since… no they won’t. And Azazael would’ve been ok if Sam kept the gun anyway, given why they really wanted and once again I am putting holes on the idea that this was planned from the start, aren’t I?

In any case, John declares that Meg is a demon “or is possessed by one” which… ok? First and only time we get the possibility of a demon not using a meat suit. I don’t think this is a mistake, because after all, this is back before the guys faced demons in a normal basis so they could believe that they had their own bodies besides the ones they possessed (And, more importantly, before there was a retcon that made the brothers face and know about demons since pretty much ever). To be completely fair, as much as I love Jimmy and the whole Lucifer arc once it started to make sense… I would’ve been ok if vessels weren’t needed. It added a lot of complications and ended up making the brothers actual serial killers.

Ahem.

After that little gem of wisdom that will be ignored forever, John declares that he will be taking the gun to Meg to avoid more killing and we get another questionable line for Sam. And I am curious as to how to tally it as it’s the opposite of him wanting to leave the hunt, but it’s not that nice either:

DEAN What do we do?

JOHN I'm going to Lincoln. DEAN What? JOHN It doesn't look lilke we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die.

SAM Dad, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over.

I mean, yes, it is true that the demon is coming for Monica (Well, actually, he’s coming for Rosie, the baby, but I will let that slip pass. Sam is not interested in married ladies), and that with the gun they can kill the demon but it’s not all they’ve got. By this time, Sam has already had his big hero moment when he exorcised a plane in free fall so they could do that, then chase the demon again and then kill it.

But what is jarring is how he hears “a lot of people die, OUR FRIENDS die” and he goes “yeah, whatever, we have a mission to fulfill”.

Which is precisely what later episodes will tell us John used to do, and was the reason why John was not exactly liked by the general hunter population. And at the same time, it’s an eerie reminder of Wendigo, where Sam is willing to let innocents die (his family friends, in this particular case, just as he heard Caleb choke on his own blood) in order to get his way (revenge on the demon that killed Jess. NOT revenge on the demon that killed his mom, since at this point, Sam is still on the “I never knew that woman” train of thought).

Sure, his mind is in the hunt, and that’s commendable because yes, in the long run, killing Azazael would save more innocents (And probably stop the Apocalypse, not that Sam or the writers at that time know it), but it is still strange to see our nominal hero simply not care for his friends’ lives. I mean, at this point WE don’t know about Bobby, so the closest to a parental figure that is not John that Sam had was Pastor Jim and he just DIED.

Worst part is, this could be solved really easy: Just have DEAN be the one who voices the complaint, and have “empathic” Sam mumble that there has to be a way to save everyone (Which, of course, John will mention in a second). It would make Dean look bad, sure, but we’ve been told once and again that Dean never, EVER goes against John plans. Which… not true, ut we will talk about that later. The scene continues, and John declares that he will go to Meg alone, with a fake Colt and while Dean thinks that that won’t work, Sam has a different complaint:

DEAN Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?

JOHN I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all.

SAM You mean for Dean and me. You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?

JOHN No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home. I want....I want Mary alive. It's just....I just want this to be over.

And oh, boy. Do this four lines again hold so much weight.

First, once again, Dean seems to be worried for John (logically, he’s their dad), while Sam is making the weirdest line in the universe sort of work because he’s complaining that John is trusting them to kill the demon, something HE wants to do and not four seconds ago was saying they had to do, as if it was John shifting HIS job to Sam. Seriously, I don’t want to think the worst of Sam but when you take out Jared’s acting, the text doesn’t do the younger Winchester’s any favors.

And finally… John’s lines that encompass pretty much Dean’s philosophy in the following seasons. “I want to stop losing people we love” is pretty telling, but what comes next? He actually WANTS Sam to go back to college and not worry about the Supernatural. He actively agrees that Dean doesn’t have a home, and WANTS Dean to have one. It’s as close as love as we’ll see from John to Dean in Season 1, and it hurts. It hurts because we can tell he knows he won’t be there to see it… and now, in hindsight with the finale having aired, we also know Dean didn’t get that. (And to be fair, this is the John who did deserve Heaven. Not the flanderized version we’d get in the future)

Although, ironically, Mary got to be alive again, so… One out of three?

(No, seriously, it’s obvious the writers didn’t even remember this speech when Season 12 hit, much less Season 15)

Ahem.

Dean is sent to get a fake Colt, while Sam and John wait for him. If they talked about anything, we don’t know, but when they exchange guns, Dean voices what we all know is true:

DEAN You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?

JOHN I can handle her. I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets...

DEAN Dad... JOHN What? DEAN Promise me something. JOHN What's that. DEAN This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead. JOHN Same goes for you. (There is a long pause) All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count.

SAM Yes sir.

JOHN Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you boys now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?

 Again, I wish they remembered all they had to get rid of demons before, you know, killing everyone willy-nilly. I mean, I don’t even think I know what Mandalac IS but hey, John says it works, it works. And once more, Dean gets a line that makes clear he is the empathic, loving brother, when it wouldn’t have hurt Sam to say it. In fact, it would make clear that no matter what, he doesn’t hate John. But nope, Sam only acts like the soldier we’re TOLD Dean is, while Dean makes clear that for him, family is more important than revenge (And boy will that come to bite him in the ass later, not in the series, but in this same episode).

Also, I have to admit. When I started this rewatch, John’s final line was just a good moment for John to start letting go of his anger. Now? After that horrid finale? It hurts so, so much. But it hurts more because I KNOW that there’s no way it was intentional. Obviously, Kirkpe didn’t know the series would last 15 years, and I highly doubt Dabb remembered this scene when writing 15x20. But even so, it ends up being Dean’s epitaph. OUCH.

In any case, the Winchester separate again, and we go into act three. Get ready for the feels.

John Winchester hunting alone is a thing of beauty. Seeing him scope the place, check the water tank and immediately think of a plan? Makes me wish Jeffrey Dean Morgan had stayed longer on the show. Sure, John became an asshole, but in this episode he’s still not that bad, we still have no episodes that make clear he didn’t care for Dean, and wasn’t textually abusive. And I am willing to bet that if JDM had stayed, John would’ve evolved more to be a Bobby-like character. But well, What ifs is not why you came to this meta for.

As John is hunting, the brothers are staking out the house were they know Azazael will attack. And while they talk and decide that they have no way to get the family out (In a nice callback to how none of their excuses ever work) we get to this little gem of an exchange:

SAM I wonder how Dad's doing.

DEAN I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up.

SAM I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up.

Where once again we see where the brother’s priorities lie, and I wonder why the hell the writers ever thought they were writing Sam as an empathic character.

Because yes, Dean is wishing he could be out there helping his Dad, proving that for him, it has always been about the family. Not the hunting, but the protecting. But Sam doesn’t want to protect John. He wants John protecting Them. And helping them in the revenge hunt, not trying to save others.

Sure, we know the brothers are there to save an innocent mother, but John is also saving a ton of hunters and people who, in the past, were nice and open to the family. And it would’ve been so much easier to make Sam look better if he instead had said “I’d feel a lot better if we hadn’t had to separate” or something like that, that proved he saw BOTH missions were important.

Seriously, I do wonder why the writers made these choices, and I wish someone had asked this at cons.

We go back to John, who, really, Is an amazing hunter even if he is a horrible father. Also, I wonder if he got ordained at a web church, in order to be able to sanctify water. That would be such a John Winchester thing to do, and I do wonder why the boys never did it too. ANYWAY, he hands the gun to Meg, and to her ally that came so that we could have a scene to prove the Colt is fake as the ally shoots Meg.

As John says, Meg was lucky the gun was fake. And once again, I do wonder what the plan was if it WAS the Colt. I mean, Meg was Azazael’s second in command. Why would nameless demon risk killing her? Or did he kinow the gun was fake?

In any case, this makes the moment where we can be 100% sure that Meg’s meat suit 1.0 was dead. I mean, she could’ve survived the fall in Shadow, but a bullet to the chest? No way.

We go back to the brothers, and Sam breaks every single law of a procedural show by giving this great speech about how thankful he is to Dean for everything, and how he needs to say that “in case” something happened.

Dean is definitely not impressed and reminds him that the only one dying today is Azazael.

As we see John temporarily escape from Meg and her muscle boy, we go back to the brothers who see the demon omens start up so they get ready for the final fight.

The brothers manage to save Monica and her baby, despite the very understandable interference from Hubbard, the husband (I mean, you would not react nicely to two strangers intruding in your house and yelling to your wife to not go into the nursery room), however, before Sam can shoot Azazel, he disappears into smoke (A really interesting question here is, WHY did Sam wait to shoot and then wasted a bullet, but I digress).

Going completely against M.O, Azazael makes the CRIB burst into flames, but fortunately Dean has already gotten Rosie out of it so the brothers escape the flaming house. While Monica cries her thanks, Sam notices that Azazael is still inside, and tries to go after him, but Dean stops him because he is not going to lose his brother to the fire. By the way, I am not counting “Dean stopping Sam from going into a burning building” as “Dean forcing Sam to do something” since, uh, he was saving Sam’s life and it’s something anyone in Dean’s place would’ve done.

At the same time, we see John getting captured by Meg and her muscle boy because he didn’t think about getting a third escape route (But honestly? That was pretty much a plot necessity. John was HEAVILY prepared for that fight)

Back in the hotel, Dean is worried that John is not answering his calls, while Sam is furious that Dean didn’t let him kill himself by running into a burning house. They have a nasty fight that mirrors the one they had back in the pilot, but since it IS a fight between the brothers, you know the drill. We’re examining it under Violence.

Once Sam calms down, he tells Dean to try calling John again. Unfortunately, it’s Meg who answers and she tells Dean that they’re never seeing their dad again.

And we get the first “To be continued” for the series (Which to be honest, despite all the little continuity mistakes I mentioned here? Is still pretty epic)

Violence

Well, we had to run out of episodes where the brothers don’t fight each other at some point, didn’t we?

This fight, over Sam wanting to kill himself in his search for revenge, is a very neat parallel to the fight they had back in the Pilot, over Sam NOT wanting to even involve himself in the family’s search for revenge. Which I know it’s supposed to be ironic and a show of character growth since now Dean is the one saying that revenge is not worth their lives but… it falls a little bit flat because the reason why Sam is so gung-ho in killing Azazael is, once again, a very selfish one and the way in he expresses it makes it quite clear. (Again, I do wonder if the writers stopped to think about the implications of Sam only getting really into hunting when it was about him or his losses?)

But let’s start at the beginning:

SAM If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this.

DEAN Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life.

SAM You don't know that.

DEAN So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?

SAM Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am.

DEAN Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around.

This right here? Is a nice summary of the relationship of the brothers for the whole series. Sam wants to do something stupid, like, say, running into a burning building, Dean is there to stop him before he hurts himself.

Also, let’s make clear the use of first person by Sam. It’s not “We coulda ended this”, as in the family ending the hunt, but “I coulda ended this”. Again, at this point, not something that is a problem, but considering hindsight, we can see how the writers are completely invested in SAM as a sole main character, and write him as such, while Dean is more of the sidekick.

In any case, the argument continues, still not escalating to violence.

SAM What the hell are you talking about Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about.

DEAN Sam I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over.

SAM What?

DEAN I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing.

Important thing how Sam apparently forgot he left for four (two) years and wanted out of the family business, now that he is angry and into the revenge thing. It’s not “You’ve been searching for this demon your whole life”, which would’ve been correct AND a logical counterargument against Dean. Before this episode, Sam was supposedly the brother who understood that revenge was a way of living, while Dean is the one who was Daddy’s little soldier. But here, when it actually would matter to the narrative, it is as if Sam’s wishes for a normal life are completely forgotten and it’s Dean the one who understands that there’s more to living than revenge (Which, btw, is consistent through the season despite everyone claiming that Dean needs Sam to keep hunting. All season, Dean has been giving Sam outs, telling him it’s ok to quit)

And of course, Dean here proves that Sam is more important to him than revenge for his mother, as he is willing to never get to kill the demon as long as his family, his brother in particular, survives.

Poor Dean.

SAM That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom.

DEAN You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back.

SAM Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that.

DEAN Sam look. The three of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you or Dad....

Unfortunately, script doesn’t quiet convey the scene as there’s a LONG pause between “That thing killed Jess” and “That thing killed Mom”. Enough so that we can believe that Sam is using that second phrase not because he cares (in the Pilot he made clear he didn’t), but to make Dean get on board with the whole “I can kill myself if it means getting revenge” plan. In other words, once again, Sam is weaponizing Mary against Dean, and that is a really nasty habit the younger Winchester never quite shakes out of. Instead, Dean shows how he LISTENED to Sam back in the Pilot and repeats Sam’s words to him on the bridge.

Which is when Sam loses it and pushes Dean against a wall, Dean not defending himself at all, and yells that Dean has no right to say what Sam told Dean the very first hunt they had together after years of separation.

And of course, once Dean mentions their father, Sam starts calming down. NOT when Dean says that he’s barely holding it together, or that he only has them.   Just when he mentions their father who is, in Sam’s mind, the one who can help him get revenge.

The fight ends, but Sam never once apologizes for what he said to Dean, nor for the fight. Which, by the way, contradicts his claim that Dean “always has his back”.

Emotional Violence

Whenever we have John on an episode, we’re going to have to talk about emotional violence and I kind of hate that because on one hand, I get how John could’ve been a very tragic figure that loved his sons but still wanted to avenge his wife, and not being the abusive bastard we know and don’t love that much.

When Sam and Dean explain about Sam’s visions, and how they started as nightmares but have grown in intensity, his reaction is quite subdued, but clear. He is not happy, but the problem isn’t the visions –for a man obsessed with the supernatural, his outward reaction to his younger son being a psychic is quite calm- but that they didn’t inform him of what was going on:

JOHN All right. When were you going to tell me about this?

DEAN We didn't know what it meant.

JOHN All right, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me.

DEAN dumps the coffee jug and cup back on the counter and strides toward JOHN.

DEAN Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad I called you from Lawrence all right? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery.

JOHN You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry.

And let’s be clear, John’s anger is not directed at Sam, it’s directed at Dean. “Something like this starts happening to your brother” is not “Something like this starts happening to either of you”. Which is also a show of how good an actor JOHN is in universe because WE know that he knew. Missouri TOLD him point blank that Sam was powerful and that he could have known that John was around during the Home episode. But here, he acts as if this was news to him when he could ALSO have told them what to expect if that happened. (Mind you, I am assuming that Sera Gamble knew or remembered about Home’s script when writing this and didn’t just forget or was unaware that John was supposed to know)

Now, all season, Sam has been complaining and yelling about how John doesn’t answer their calls, doesn’t seem to care what’s going on with them. So it’d be logical and in character for Sam to say something here. But instead is DEAN, Dad’s little soldier, the one we’ve SEEN obeying John without question finally have enough and talk back to his father with some truths. And it’s VERY interesting that his first complain is not that John didn’t care that Dean almost died, but that he didn’t reply when Dean called from Lawrence. One could almost infer that Dean expected John not to care if Dean died, but was honestly hurt that he didn’t care about a case that could’ve involved MARY.

John, surprisingly, sort of agrees. He does say “I’m sorry”, which makes him the Winchester who is quicker to say those words… but he still manages to make a threat against Dean “I am not too crazy about this NEW tone of yours”.

Making it clear that before? Dean never talked back. And John doesn’t like it when his soldiers talk back.

It makes it hard to believe John ever thought of Dean as his son and makes it very clear why Dean never understood Sam’s confidence that Dean was the favored one.

Speeches and Apologies

I considered not including this particular speech, but then I remembered that Supernatural is ALSO famous for their big emotional speeches, and this is Sam’s first, and also, Dean’s first time listening to someone he cares about give him the “I am saying goodbye because I am going kamikaze” speech and after all the drama in season 15, I guess it’s necessary to do some dissection.

It is important that despite all the things that Sam has done to Dean, the words “I’m sorry” are never uttered here.

SAM Dean...ah...I wanna thank you. DEAN For what? SAM For everything. You've always had my back you know? Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you. And ah...I don't know I just wanted to let you know, Just in case DEAN Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me? SAM What? DEAN Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man. Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?

 This is not a bad “freaking speech”. I understand why Dean didn’t want to hear it, because it is like jinxing the mission (And, let’s be honest, it did), but it’s not a bad speech.

Except that, reading it again, it lacks one important part. Sure, Sam thanks Dean for always being there (Forgetting that, at least three times this season alone, he has accused Dean of not having his back and being unreliable. Which will ALSO be a constant theme in the series’s long run), but he never mentions the times HE did things that would be hard to back up. Which, again, I am not counting as a bad thing against him in this precise moment in time, since he is young, in his roaring roadtrip of revenge, and we’ve only know the brothers for a year, but it is the beginning of a series’ long crutch to make us forgive all of Sam’s sins without him actually doing the work to be forgiven.

On the other hand, it all goes to waste a bit later when Sam starts hitting Dean for the horrible sin of not letting him run into a burning building and kill himself so… it’s not really a “thank you for having my back” speech but a “You better remember, you never fight me and my choices are the best” speech in hindsight. Which… not good on Sam, no.

Double narrative standards

This episode is kind of balanced, except for that little moment where we’re supposed to think Dean is wrong for telling Sam that revenge is not worth their lives. So there’s not much to write in this particular segment.

Final Tally

Ok, back in the saddle. And after all that, I decided not to tally Sam’s little slip about not caring if their loved ones die as long as he gets to kill Azazael. Let me know if you disagree.

The count is still not good on Sam’s side, but as always, you are free to disagree with me, and dm me if you think I missed a tally or I should change one. If your argument is solid and canon based, I will listen to it and may change the numbers.

Numbers (or the TL;DR summary)

(Episode/Total so far)

Times Dean has lied to Sam or to a loved one: 0 / 0

Times Sam has lied to Dean or to a loved one: 0 / 3

Times Dean has been caught in a lie: 0 / 0

Times Sam has been caught in a lie: 0 / 1

Times Dean has hit Sam in anger: 0 / 1

Times Sam has hit Dean in anger: 1 / 4

Times Dean's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 0

Times Sam's lies or secrets have caused someone's death: 0 / 1

Times Dean has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 0

Times Sam has abandoned (Or wanted to abandon) a hunt in the middle for his own needs: 0 / 7

Times Dean forced Sam to do something: 0 / 0

Times Sam forced Dean to do something: 0 / 7

Secrets kept by Dean: 0 / 1

Secrets kept by Sam: 0 / 2

Times Dean has blamed Sam for something: 0 / 0

Times Sam has blamed Dean for something: 1 / 4

Times Dean has apologized with words to Sam: 0 / 3

Times Sam has apologized with words to Dean: 0 / 2

Times Dean has respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 7

Times Sam has respected Dean's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Dean hasn't respected Sam's boundaries and/or rules: 0 / 0

Times Sam hasn't respected Dean's boundaries and / or rules: 0 / 13

Times Dean has made fun of something Sam does or has: 0 / 6

Times Sam has made fun of something Dean does or has: 0 / 31

Times we focus on Dean's needs: 0 / 1

Times we focus on Sam's needs: 1 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Sam: 1 / 7

Filler episodes dedicated to Sam: 0 / 6

Arc episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 0

Filler episodes dedicated to Dean: 0 / 4

Arc episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Filler episodes dedicated to both brothers (or to none): 0 / 2

Dean's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 1

Sam's Dropped Plotlines: 0 / 2

[ffakc]

A Midwest Christmas - a Jeffrey Dean Morgan fanfiction

Again, I’m aware I’m late posting this. I know it’s no longer Christmas, don’t yell at me. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays and I LOVE writing stories that are based around Christmas.

Jeff crushed out his cigarette and breathed hot air into his hands to warm them. He shrugged his shoulders a few times, almost as if he was psyching himself up.

“You okay, babe?” I ask and kiss his cheek, shutting the car off.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t know why I’m so nervous! I’m a grown ass man, damn it,” my boyfriend chuckles.

“They’ll love you, Jeff. You know my mom and dad love you already, you have nothing to worry about, baby” I give his thigh a squeeze and kiss his neck deeply. Jeff moans and tilts his head to the side.

“Please don’t give me a boner before meeting your female relatives,” Jeff chuckles. “I don’t know, babe. Dad might not love me after I walk through the door,” he gestures to his Seattle Seahawks beanie.

“He’ll get over it,” I laugh and open the car door. Jeff grabs the box of gifts from the trunk and holds my hand as we walk to the front door.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” I holler from the foyer. Jeff kicks off his boots.

“Hey sweetie! Hey Jeff, what’s up, brother?” my dad calls from the den.

“Hey, Mr. C,” Jeff smiles warmly.

“Oh no, oh no. You take that hat off! You’re in Bear country!” my dad laughs. “Just when I thought I liked you!”

“I knew you’d say something! GO HAWKS!” Jeff chuckles and tosses it onto the bench. My dad jokingly makes a fist. I roll my eyes playfully and ruffle his hair as we head upstairs. Men and their sports, I’ll never understand it.

“You can just set the gifts under the tree,” I whisper to Jeff and give his arm a squeeze. He waves at my female relatives at the table.

“Hiiiii! Merry Christmas! I’ve missed you!” my cousin Amy hugs me. “How’s New York?”

“Absolutely incredible. Every day feels like a new adventure with this one,” I gesture to my man standing behind me. “This is my boyfriend, Jeff!”

“Hi there, you must be Amy? I’ve heard so much about you!” Jeff shakes her hand and kisses her cheek.

“All good things I hope!” Amy laughs.

“Yes ma’am. I’ve heard y’all are super close, and I love that. Family togetherness recharges the batteries.”

“I’m glad to hear it! I can’t think of a single holiday we didn’t spend together,” Amy gestures around the table.

“Have a seat!” my mom says. “Can I get you anything to drink? We have wine, beer, Coke Zero...”

“I’ll have a Coke,” Jeff replies and sits next to me at the long dinner table. I pull a small bottle of Crown Royal out of my bag.

“I’ll take a Coke as well,” I laugh.

“You came to party! I’ll take some too,” Jeff wraps his arm around me and kisses my cheek as I add the liquor to his glass of ice, “It smells amazing in here, Ma,” Jeff says to my mom.

“Thanks, Jeff! It’s a tradition on Christmas that we have Grandma, my mom’s, tacos. The shells are from a tiny little Mexican kitchen downtown, that’s how my mom always did it. I think we’re just waiting on Jessica and then we’ll be ready to eat!”

“Sounds delicious,” Jeff sips his drink.

“How’d you guys meet? You look super familiar, Jeff,” my aunt Janine remarks. I rest my head on Jeff’s shoulder.

“It all started when I began frequenting this coffee shop that opened near my, well, OUR farm while on hiatus from work. I couldn’t take my eyes off this brown eyed manager with the messy bun in her hair who would always ring me up and make my drink. Golly, she looked cute in that apron,” Jeff nudges me and everyone laughs as I blush. “I finally had to ask this pretty young thing out. I invited her over for dinner and the rest is history. One year and some change later and I can’t imagine my life with anyone else but my baby gal,” he kisses me softly. “Oh! I’m an actor, by the way. I’m currently on a show called The Walking Dead, I play the bad guy named Negan. A lot of people still recognize me as Denny from Grey’s Anatomy and John Winchester from Supernatural though,” Jeff smiles warmly.

“I knew those eyes looked familiar!” my aunt exclaims. “Wow, girl, a famous actor? Check you out!”

“He’s pretty great. I thought the concept of soulmates was cheesy til this man came along. I mean, nobody’s perfect, but Jeffrey comes pretty darn close,” I rub his thigh under the table.

“How old are you anyway? That gray beard says you’re old,” my 13 year old cousin Alyssa asks.

“Lys! You can’t just say that!” her mom quiets her.

“It’s okay, hon! I’m not offended at all! I AM old, real old. I’m 54,” Jeff laughs.

“And how old are you?” Alyssa turns her attention to me.

“24,” I link my arm with my man’s and nuzzle his shoulder.

“Sooo, you were 30 when she was born?” Alyssa makes a sassy face.

“Don’t push it, little girl,” Jeff teases and we all laugh.

*Jeff’s POV*

“So, this is the man cave, huh?” I glance around at the fishing poles adorning the chocolate brown wall and Chicago sports gear.

“Yeah, it’s pretty nice! It gets cold down here, but the fireplace helps!” my girlfriend’s dad Tim tosses some kindling on the fire.

“Super cozy,” I remark. I haven’t been this nervous in a long time. I had something I desperately wanted to ask him, but I didn’t want to just get right to it.

“How you doin’, bud?” my girlfriend’s grandfather Ray asks.

“Good, Ray! I’m really good, fantastic actually. It feels so nice to be off work for the holidays! Thank you guys so much for welcoming me into your home. Dinner was delicious and the Midwest hospitality is much appreciated.”

“You’re always welcome here,” Tim says.

“This is for you,” Ray reaches into his coat pocket. He passes a CD my way with small writing on the jacket, “To: Jeff. Love, Grampa.”

“Aww, what’s this?” I say, pushing my glasses up.

“Elvis Christmas songs. Something for you and your girl to dance to. You better treat her good,” he smiles his adorable old man smile.

“Thank you so much, Grandpa,” I get up and give him a hug. “You didn’t have to get me anything. So, um,” I clear my throat as I settle into the couch. “There’s something we should talk about. I mean, something I need to ask you. I don’t know, I’m shaky as hell. So, how do I put this?” I pull a small velvet box out of my pocket. “I brought this with me.”

“You want to marry me? Let me go get my dress!” Tim teases. Whew, a joke to break the tension.

“Yeah, totally! I, wow, I’m going to cry. Pull yourself together, Jeff. I wanted to know if I can ask your daughter to be my wife. She’s got me wrapped, man. When I look into her eyes, I just fall in love over and over again. I know it’s old fashioned of me to ask, but I thought I’d do the right thing and ask for your blessing. I love your girl so damn much, you have no idea,” I wipe tears away.

“I had a feeling this would be happening. You kept staring at me all through dinner with this lost puppy look in your eye, like I was going to yell at you or something! Jeff, I see the way she looks at you and it warms her dad’s heart. Every time you speak, she stops immediately what she’s doing and stares at you with hearts in her eyes. I’ve never seen my daughter so happy. Of course you have my blessing.” My heart begins hammering in my chest as my soon to be fiancée’s dad pulls me into a hug.

“Thank you so much, sir! Oh my god, I’m freaking out. Thank you, thank you! So, next question, where’s the best place to propose around these parts?”

“Well, downtown near your hotel on 5th Avenue, it’s all decked out in Christmas lights. Maybe you guys could take a walk down there?”

***

“What a great dinner, your family is so kind and welcoming!” Jeff says as we climb into the warm car. “I love you so much, doll.”

“I’m so glad you had a good time, honey. I knew you would! I love you too, Jeff. I’m so looking forward to the hot tub when we get back to the room, I don’t know about you.” Jeff slides his hand over my upper thigh seductively as I drive through the city in the direction of the hotel. I glance over at my boyfriend and he gives me the sexiest bedroom eyes. I could have just stopped the car and taken him right there. We jam out to our favorite Christmas songs and giggle like kids.

“Fifth Avenue,” Jeff mutters. “Pull over, babe.” I pull into a parking spot and Jeff grabs my face and kisses me deeply, “Let’s go walkin’ in a winter wonderland.” I smile and shut the car off and follow behind him. Jeff’s adorable spontaneity was one of his best qualities. He takes me by the hand as we look at the twinkling lights. There’s no cars on the road and the snow dampens all the sound.

“Hey, sweetheart?” Jeff places his hands on my hips.

“Yes?” I wrap my arms around his neck. We hold each other close.

“You’re so damn perfect,” he pecks my lips, I run my fingers through his soft gray hair. “I tried to come up with a long romantic speech, but words are failing me. You’re everything I’ve hoped and dreamed for. You’re the reason I wake up in the morning. You’re the reason I can’t wipe this smile off my face. Every time I look into those gentle brown eyes, I’m reminded of why I fell in love with you all over again. A life without you is a life I don’t want to live. You’re my entire world, sweet girl.” Jeff pulls away and reaches into his pocket.

“Oh my god,” I sigh, “Jeffrey, I-I-“ I’m utterly speechless. Jeff brushes away the snow on the sidewalk with his gloved hand and gets on one knee.

“Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?” Jeff smiles widely, opening the velvet box and revealing a simple, shimmering band. That man knew me so well, it was exactly the

“Oh god, Daddy! Yes! Yes, Jeffrey, yes I’ll marry you!” I jump up and down excitedly. Jeff’s hands shake as he slides the ring on my finger. I gasp with delight, “I love you. Oh baby, it’s beautiful!” Jeff gets to his feet and rests his forehead against mine as we both cry tears of joy. My breath quavers from excitement and the biting cold as Jeff kisses me over and over again.

“I want you to be mine forever,” he whispers against my lips.

“Forever and ever. Oh my god, my heart is racing! You’re so amazing, I love you so much.”

“I love you the most, baby gal.”

***

Jeff and I could hardly keep our hands off each other as we hustled to the elevator.

“Merry Christmas!” the front desk agent calls out.

“You too!” Jeff replies with a friendly wave. I untie my coat as the door to the elevator shuts. I tangle my fingers in my silver fox’s thick hair and moan as he kisses my neck and pulls down my sweater, brushing his scruffy beard against my chest as he kisses and sucks gently.

“Jeffrey, you naughty boy,” I gasp. His large, slender hand find its way between my thighs. “Please, Daddy,” I whine. Jeff slides his fingers down the front of my leggings. He pulls them out just as the elevator chimes, my face goes red as I readjust my Christmas sweater and Jeff fixes his hair as if nothing ever happened.

“Merry Christmas!” an innocent, elderly Mrs. Claus looking woman greets us.

“Merry Christmas to you too!” I reply, the cool air of the hallway hitting Jeff’s saliva on my chest, causing me to shiver with delight. We laugh to ourselves as Jeff opens the door to our suite. Oh, that poor old lady, I hope she didn’t hear too much.

“Let’s see, how about we celebrate with a drink!” Jeff says with a wide smile, slinging his coat over a chair.

“Hmm, how about something sweet? I kind of want dessert after all those tacos,” I wrap my arms around my now fiancé’s waist as he kisses me, his large hands squeeze me closer.

“Your sweater reminds me, how about a White Russian?”

“I am, in fact, the Dude. One of my favorites,” I reply with a laugh.

“Hmm. Vodka, check. Coffee liqueur, got it. Cream, hmm. Cream, cream, cream,” Jeff taps his chin. “Got it!” he grabs some half and half packets from the coffee station.

“Ah, resourceful! I like that!” I kiss him and sit on the bed, “I’ll get the bath ready.”

I draw the bath and Jeff hands me a drink, setting his on the rim of the tub. He unbuttons his shirt revealing his hairy chest and stomach. He kisses me.

“I love you so much,” he says. “Nice ring you’ve got there.”

“Thanks!” I run my fingers down his chest, “My handsome fiancé gave it to me.”

“He must be a lucky guy,” Jeff’s pants come off and he slides into the tub with a loud groan.

“Jesus, that feels so fucking good,” he runs his fingers through his hair. “Come on in, baby gal, the water���s fine.” Jeff bites his lip eagerly as I take my clothes off. “You’re so sexy, you know that?”

“I could say the same about you, darlin’,” I reply, tossing my bra on the floor. I tie my hair up as my fiancé looks me up and down. I climb in the tub, opposite of the rugged older man that I was so lucky to call mine. Jeff grabs my leg and begins kissing the length of my calf.

“When and where do you want to get married?” he asked with a sly smile, kneading my legs.

“Honestly, I’ve always dreamed of a fall or winter wedding. You know how I feel about hot weather,” I take a sip of my White Russian.

“Babe, it’s too hot! This is stupid! Ninety degrees? Ew, fuck that!” Jeff imitates my whining. I laugh.

“You know me so well!”

“Daddy, I have a headache!” Jeff cackles.

“Will you shut the fuck up?” I playfully splash water in his face with my foot. Jeff sputters.

“I give you shit because I love you!” he wipes his face.

“I know, and I give it right back to you, asshole! What were we talking about again?” I giggle.

“Wedding plans?”

“Oh, right. So, definitely a fall wedding. What about on the farm? Ballrooms have never really struck my fancy. That little area off beyond the pastures would be beautiful, don’t you think?”

“I agree, I don’t need a big gala with a stuffy tuxedo to show everyone how much I love you. Ooh! How about under that big tree where we had a picnic and carved our names?” Jeff places my legs on his shoulders.

“J hearts K, yeah, I remember,” I sigh longingly. “That’s where you first told me you loved me.”

“Aw, it was, wasn’t it? You packed us a picnic and everything! You’re just a regular Ina Garten, aren’t you? Remember me yelling at the dogs to stay away from the alpacas? ‘Guys, those aren’t puppies, they’ll kick the shit out of you!’” Jeff laughs.

“Well, if I’m Ina, you’re Jeffrey! Hey, look at that! It works!” I tap my glass against his. “Those dogs are so cute, but they’re little shits sometimes.”

“Oh, absolutely they are,” Jeff agrees. “Wow, that cute barista who I was scared to ask out is going to be my wife? How did I get so damn lucky?”

“You were scared to ask me out? Why? We would always chit-chat back and forth.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why. I think it’s because I didn’t want to be THAT guy. You know, the guy who thinks the food service worker is flirting with him just because she’s being nice,” Jeff rolls his eyes.

“I didn’t get that impression from you at all! I think you’re sexy as fuck, and have since the day I first met you. If I thought you were a scumbag, I wouldn’t have flirted back. And I wouldn’t have had sex with you on the first date, would I?” I tease.

“You’re right. Man, that was a wild night, eh? My heart still beats fast when I think about it,” Jeff grins. “You looked so damn good in my shirt too. Come here,” he holds out his arms and I make my way to his side of the tub, sitting on his lap. He runs his manly hands all over my body and buries his face in my neck, kissing and moaning, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me, Mrs. Morgan.”

“I love the sound of that. I get to be your wife and I’ve never been happier in my entire life. I love you so much, Jeffrey.”

“I love you too.”

We eventually climb out of the tub, after kissing and laughing and talking til the water turns our toes to raisins. I wrap myself in a fuzzy bathrobe and Jeff quickly does the same. I climb in the big, fluffy bed and Jeff snuggles next to me. He wraps his slender arms around me and I immediately drift off to sleep.

***

“Merry Christmas, gorgeous,” Jeff’s croaky, sultry morning voice rings in my ears like church bells. He kisses my forehead, his scruff brushing against my skin. I squint my eyes at the bright sun bouncing off the snow and flooding our suite.

“Merry Christmas, Daddy,” I curl up closer to his warm body. I close my eyes and bury my face in his chest, “Has anyone told you that you look like Santa Claus with your beard?” I laugh and kiss his collarbones.

“Every damn day on social media,” Jeff chuckles. He moans softly at my touch. I stop and hold out my left hand, my vintage gold band shimmering in the light.

“Just had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming,” I smile.

“You ain’t dreamin’, sweet girl. You’re going to be my wife,” Jeff kisses me and strokes my hair. He climbs on top of me, our naked bodies still cloaked in the beige comforter. He buries his face in my neck, leaving sloppy kisses.

“Daddy,” I whimper.

“Yeah, baby?” I hold his face in my hands.

“Nothing, I just like looking at you. You sure are pretty. What do you say we have a little fun before going back to Mom and Dad’s?”

“I would want nothing more,” I reply as Jeff pulls the blanket over his head and begins kissing down my body. I giggle with delight as his beard tickles me. Best. Christmas. Ever.

Tag list: @negans-attagirl @jdmbbycakes @iluvneganandjamie

[thewincestgospel]

do you have any wincest fic rec in which sam and dean are actual fbi agents or something similar? even just the two of them being partners at some normal job, police-y or not. thanks ♡

Okay that gif is a little aggressive but you get what I mean.

FBI Agent Dean

Alternate World by EimiWinchester (Siyah_Kedi)   Sam casts a spell to take him to where Dean is whole and alive, and ends up in another world.     

Counting Bodies Like Sheep by  abeautifullie3 Sam D'Eboli is a mobster.  Special Agent Dean Winchester is assigned to take him down.  Dean's okay with that double entendre...until he isn't. A connection that won't be denied, and secrets revealed, Dean's objective may no longer be the same as the FBI's.      

FBI Agent Sam

Federal Temptations by Mrs_SimonTam_PHD  Dean Winchester is a career criminal who is caught by the FBI. The FBI calls in their best interrogator, Sam Wesson, to crack Dean, and Dean learns something about Sam.  

You Were Made For Me by blackrose_17 Sam Wesson has belonged to Dean Winchester since he first laid eyes on him and it doesn't matter that Sam is with the FBI sent to take him down, Sam is his. Sam just needs to remember that                

FBI Agent Jensen or Jared

Broken Angel by  moviegeek03 Senator Fred Lehne has been brutally attacking, raping, and murdering young men for over a decade, but always evades arrest thanks to his money and power. He has everyone fooled, except one team of detectives headed by Captain Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his protege Jensen Ackles. When things become worse, Morgan goes to FBI agents Misha Collins and Jim Beaver for help. They offer it in the form of Jared Padalecki, hotshot profiler who also happens to be Jensen's boyfriend. But there is more Jared...he also happens to be the only surviving victim of Lehne's..

Coming Home by sasha_dragon F.B.I. agent Jared Padalecki works in the L.A. Under cover Unit as a handler.   He has fallen in love with the under cover agent he looks after but has never met. Now Jared is engaged in a race against time and across L.A. To get to him before it’s too late. Can Agent Jensen Ackles hang on long enough, to finally meet Jared.

Shape of My Heart  by ashtraythief There are two things that make Jensen feel: killing people and thinking of the boy with the sunshine smile.

Police Officer Dean

Arachnophobia  by JuniperLemon   There's trouble going down in Sam's apartment. Unfortunately, this leads to a neighbor calling cops, Winchester and Novak.              

Impurity in the Night by CleverUsernameHere Officer Winchester is called to handle a noise disturbance. When he arrives he finds a high school party and gets more than he bargained for when he sees a familiar face  

Let's Get Frisky by ShadowBiscuit  What do you do when the city's hottest cop has his eyes on you and chases your fine ass down streets and alleys? When you can't help but want him to catch you and fulfill your dirtiest fantasies?Sam's solution to this problem is relatively easy: just be a flirtatious little brat and see where it gets you.      

Look the Other Way By: Candle Beck    Dean is a cop and Sam is his no-good brother.        

Mírë by  blackrose_17   Dean Winchester had an okay life as sheriff of Sioux Falls, sure his love life was a little slow but that was fine with him then everything changed the day Sam Wesson and his son Jack and friends moved into the empty Wesson Manor. Dean finds his world changed as he is drawn to the single father and his young son and his life is changed as his eyes opened to the fact magic is real and Sam is being hunted by someone who refuses to let him go. Dean will do whatever it takes to protect his new family.              

V I C E by awabubbles   Dean Winchester works in the human trafficking unit for the Vice Control Section of the Chicago PD. While undercover, Dean meets "Baby Boi" aka Sam, an underage prostitute with a strange fascination for the macabre. Sam has cast himself as Bonnie in a real life reenactment of the infamous outlaw duo, insisting that Dean is his Clyde. When Dean finally agrees, they run off to fulfill each other's deepest, darkest fantasies. For Sam, it's a dream come true; until Dean starts to spiral out of control.              

Police Officer Sam

  Blue on Blue  by  bingsboba  Sam Wesson, a young narc with intelligent eyes and a naïve spirit, meets Dean Smith, a man with a charming facade and a dangerous interior, in a drug bust mission turned into a failure. With no evidence to pin Dean to a crime, Sam is unable to move forward with his first loss in his job. Determined to have the biggest drug bust tied to his name, Sam goes after the con artist, but Dean turns out to be more than Sam can handle.   

Deeply Dangerous Dean  by ScorchedAngel   Dean is a quiet blood spatter analyst who keeps himself to himself and Sam is a detective on the hunt for the man who murdered his girlfriend Ruby. They've both been keeping secrets from each other and everyone else that have the potential to turn their world upside down.              

The Orange Hour  by  Deeranger     The Winchesters have gone undercover in a prison while working on a case: Dean as an inmate, Sam as a correctional officer. This way they will be able to gather information from both sides of the bars. A smart move, right? Or so they think. Because on a seemingly peaceful evening a riot breaks out, and the brothers are suddenly forced to question themselves - but most of all each other. What is real and what is not? And just how far are they willing to go to keep each other alive?

Perfect, Twisted, Bloody Family  by orphan_account   Dean has a great life. He’s got amazing boyfriend and a successful business, lots of friends, and a smart detective for a brother. They have awesome dinners at each other’s houses, poker nights, and a relationship most siblings would envy. Dean also has a deep, secret lust he’s been harboring for said little brother. That, and the occasional murder of a pimp or drug dealer, just to keep things interesting. C’est la vie.

Stop and Search   by JuniperLemon   Dean is trying to get out of town after a hunt when he is pulled over by Officer Wesson. Things go slightly unexpected when his hunting equipment is discovered. Unrelated wincest.  

Two Sides Of The Same Coin  by ShadowBiscuit   Sam Winchester, police detective.He's trying to find the notorious serial killer who has been leaving mutilated bodies all around the city. The police hasn't been this baffled since the time of Jack the Ripper. This mystery killer is just simply impossible to catch...But Sam isn't one to back down from a challenge. So he hunts the monster that preys on the innocent, however this time, he's not sure if he wants to win.Not when the "Righteous Man" might be his own flesh and blood, his big brother.                                                            

Police Officer  Jensen or Jared  

The Balance (Constantine Fic) by storyspinner70   Jensen Ackles spent his days coughing up his lungs and killing demons, hoping to earn his way into heaven. Jared knew his sister didn't kill herself, no matter what the Church had to say, and a hateful exorcist with a mission and a chip on his shoulder may not be his first choice for a guide, but Jensen was going to help him – if he didn't die first. Trips to hell, lung cancer, a conniving archangel, and even the devil himself weren't going to stop Jared from getting his sister back where she truly belonged.              

Creature Feature by Saone Something hungry is lurking in Lake Winchester.

Cuffs by TwoBoys2Love   Detective Ackles gets a new partner who may be a bit of a challenge. They have different views about everything. Ackles picks up some work on a new case that reveals his partner's secret and dredges up the past              

I'm A Broken Man With Addictive Tendencies  by robin_writes  In Jared’s mind they were a new brand of a tale as old as time; Romeo and Juliet. From two different worlds, destined to be kept apart, and both of them too fucked in the head to survive what they end up doing to each other.Jared is a cop who is a dom and Jensen is an underage prostitute. Jared tries to tuck away his 'dom personality' but you can't hide yourself from yourself.              

The Lion The Beast and The Beat by storyspinner70   It’s the typical story: boy goes through an ugly divorce, boy falls in love with the late night DJ that keeps him company on all his sleepless nights, boy saves DJ from his “number one fan”. The DJ is very grateful.

Mischief and Mayhem  by LoveThemWinchesters   Jared is a police officer.Jensen is his biker/bar owner husband of several years.Chaos ensues when something very important is lost.  

Out of Silence  by Annie46fic When hardened, but lonely cop, Jensen Ackles meets Jared Padalecki in his family’s diner, he doesn’t realize that his life is about to change drastically. Jared is a complete innocent, deaf, mute and unable to communicate, he needs a friend. Can Jensen be that man?

Pure like Blood by Ephermeralk   They have a deal. It’s two years (730 days, 17,520 hours) before Jared turns eighteen. And if, by some miracle, Jensen’s not in prison and Jared’s not another Joe Doe in the morgue, they’ll both leave Denver and start a new life. But, until then, Jared’s still got work and Jensen’s still a cop who’s hell bent on putting away the rest of Jared’s clients.          

Shades of Cool by tebtosca   Officer Ackles tries to keep the peace, but that Padalecki kid doesn't want to play nice.                            

Some Kind Of Hold On Me  by KatStark   Cop Jared comes home to his boyfriend, who has a special night in mind.      

Speaking Softly by femmefatales   Jared Padalecki, a 27-year-old police officer with a psychology degree gets assigned a special case. His job is to do one thing and one thing only-- Get Jensen Ackles, a seventeen year old boy who's been badly abused, to talk.                                

Stray by  storyspinner70   Officer Jared Padalecki is on his way home, but catches one last call that's near him. He has no idea exactly how eighteen year old werecat Jensen Ackles is going to change his life, but sometimes the best things in your life are things you never saw coming. 

Trust in me by Winmance It isn’t the innocence of the boy’s voice that was making such dirty sexual innuendos that made his blood run cold, it was the suggestive smirk he plastered onto his face while saying it. The way he leans too far forward on the chair, that it was impossible not to look obscene, and the large spread of his legs while he does so, almost inviting Jensen to look.When Jensen's best friend asks him to questionned the young prostitute he just came back with, Jensen has no idea that his life is about to change. Neither does Jared.                           

[crzcorgi]

Love on Board

Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader x Jon Bernthal

5200 words

Warnings ~ NSFW

Who would think that a cruise could change your life?

tagging ~ @namelesslosers @walkingdead96 @chelseafartnoise @yedi16 @mypopculturediva @londoncapsule @xsophiaxox @hobobilbo @dramaqueenarg @sarahlee8793 @trees-and-ink

   I couldn’t believe it. I was finally living my dream. My bestie Suzy and I were on The Walking Dead cruise. A boat full of other fans as crazy for the show as we were. And we were joined by a handful of the show’s stars. Which is why I was here.  Actually, I was here to see 3 of those stars specifically. 3 breathtaking men that turn every red blooded woman crazy with lust. Suzy and I were getting ready for a panel with one of those men, the other two having a panel later on.

 Once we were dressed, our swimsuits on under our sundresses, we headed down to the deck that held the panels.

   A last minute change in panels caused them to place the 3 men I was most eager to meet, the men that haunted my dreams, together. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Norman Reedus and Jon Bernthal.

 “Can you believe this?!” I whispered to my best friend, Suzy. “It’s like a dream come true!” I worked my way through the crowd, hoping to get closer to the stage. It was like the clouds parted as I was  able to reach the edge of barricades separating the crowd from the stage.

 “Desperate much?” Suzy jabbed my side, a smirk on her face. I laughed her off, I was way too excited to care.

 Just then the moderator stepped up on the stage, walking to the middle. “Is everyone ready? Can I hear some ‘Hell ya’s?!’” The crowd erupted in cheers, me included.

 “Let’s give it up for some of our favorites from the Walking Dead world. First up, you know him as Rick’s partner, Shane Walsh, and now starring as Frank Castle, The Punisher, Mr. Jon Bernthal!

 As he stepped onto the stage, I couldn’t help but swoon a bit, he was, after all, my first Walking Dead crush. My bestie whispering, “He’s better looking in person!” I didn’t want to miss a thing so I just nodded in agreement, my eyes never leaving the stage.

 “He’s everyone’s favorite lovable redneck, Daryl Dixon, Mr. Norman Reedus!” As Norman stepped on stage, the crowd erupted in hoots, a chorus of “I love you’s” and whistles, Suzy quickly joining in. He was her favorite so no surprise.

 “He’s the bad guy everyone loves to hate, or hates to love, the man with the bat, Negan, Mr. Jeffrey Dean Morgan!”

 The crowd, which hadn’t calmed down from Norman’s entrance, became much louder and rowdier. And I, of course, joined in.

 “Calm down y/n!” Suzy grabbed my arm, acting like she was disapproving but quickly joined in.

 “I’m sorry Suzy, but he is freaking gorgeous! They all are!” As I was staring at Jeffrey, I kept taking quick glances at Norman and Jon. As the men began joking with each, I became utterly enthralled. These men, honestly took my breath away.

I wasn’t even sure I took in what they were saying, just watching them, each one so amazingly handsome in their own way. But you always seemed to gravitate back towards Jeff & Jon.

Norman, though not conventionally handsome, had a certain rough around the edges charm. Very handsome in his own right.

Jon was swoon-worthy, so very manly, a masculinity that just made me gasp.

 Jeffrey, he was the whole package. The whole sexy swagger, manly man, rugged as fuck, that made your panties wet. His lip-licking, nose crinkling, adorably dimpled damn face that you just couldn’t look away from.

 Yes, I had it bad.

 “Y/N, what next?”

 “Huh?”

 “It’s over, whatta we doing next?”

 Looking up on the stage I realized it was over, the men standing up, chatting with each other.

 “Can we just hang out here, poolside for a bit?”

 Suzy began giggling. “Oh, just want to watch them? I get it, they are all sights to behold! Sure why not. I’ve got a bit of a buzz and am in a good mood.”

 We made our way to a couple of lounge chairs, making sure we could still see the stage.

 “You know you’re practically drooling there, y/n?”

 “Oh, pffishh! I am not!”

 I tried not to stare, but how could I ignore them? These men were gods, or at least, god-like. A little bit of heaven on earth. And I was this close to it. And I wanted them. Badly.

I closed my eyes, the afternoon sun feeling so nice on my face. Falling asleep, I began dreaming, a wonderful dream featuring those beautiful men. But I was soon rudely awakened.

 “Wake up! Let’s go back to the cabin and get ready for the party tonight. I haven’t a clue which outfit I’m wearing and I need your help.”

 Back in our cabin, trying on outfits, enjoying some nice wine, I all but forgot about my desire.

 Heading down to the deck the party was on I started feeling excited. It had been awhile since I’d been out. I missed it, the parties, fun crowds, the drinking. I never drank to excess, but feeling that fun high from just a bit too much was so fucking enjoyable.

 We made our way through the crowd finding an empty table. “I’ll go get our drinks.” Suzy said as I climbed up onto the bar stool.

 I took a look around at the crowd. There were people of all ages, everyone mingling, chatting, laughing. It seemed a bit more laid back than the usual bar scene, everyone there for the same reason, their love of The Walking Dead bringing them together in a different kind of friendship.

 I was looking down, noticing one of my freshly manicured nails had a tiny chip, making me frown.

 “Shit!” I muttered to myself.

 “I’m sorry?”

 I knew that voice, but couldn’t believe it. Wasn’t sure I wanted to lift my face to see him, to look into those eyes. This had to be a dream. He cleared his throat, trying to get my attention thinking I must not have heard him. I had to look at him. And so, I did, slowly lifting my head to face him.

 And I choked, on nothing but air. There he stood, all 6 foot 2 inches of fucking manliness.

 “You okay sweetheart?” He placed his large palm on my back, patting it lightly, then rubbing it softly. I could feel the heat radiating off it. It felt so good.  

Breathe, breathe! I had to will myself to keep up bodily functions that normally would be automatic. I knew I needed to speak, but how? But I was saved when Suzy appeared, drinks in hand.

 “OMG! Hello! Uh, we love you!” She put the drinks down, non stop giggling as she sat next to me.

 “I’m afraid I scared your beautiful friend.” Jeffrey told her. “I was just going to ask if this seat was free, I’m so sorry darling, I’ll just be on my way.” He removed his hand from my back, making me audibly sigh.

 “No, uh, please, this seat is free!” I squeaked out, my voice so much higher than usual.

 “Are you sure?” He leaned down, so much closer to my face, looking directly into my eyes.

 “We’re sure!” Suzy chirped, kicking the extra stool out with her foot.

 He moved away from me just enough to grab the stool, pulling it directly next to me and sitting down.

 “So, how are you enjoying the cruise so far? No seasickness right?” He smiled, those damn dimples on full display.

 Suzy spoke up. “Nope, we’ve been juuuust fiiiine!” She giggled, obviously the wine she’d had earlier plus the whiskey she just downed, going to her head.

 “That’s good. Don’t want this beautiful lady sick in bed.”

 Was he talking to me?! I couldn’t wrap my head around it. So I just smiled nicely at him, grabbing the glass of god knows what Suzy had brought me, and downed it in one shot.

 Jeff grabbed my hand, causing me to squeak. “Easy there sweetheart! You’ve gotta pace yourself. We have plenty of night left!”

“Fuck dood! We’ve been lookin’ for ya!” It was Norman Reedus. And behind him, pulling away from eager fangirls, was Jon Bernthal.

 I’m drunk and dreaming, that’s it. Because this can’t be real. I can’t be sitting here with Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Jon Bernthal and Norman Reedus. Nope.

 “Mind if these gentlemen join us dolls?” Jeffrey looked right at me, those hazel eyes boring into me.

 “Oh, of course they can!” Suzy hiccuped, covering her mouth and giggling. “Come sit here Norman!” She patted the stool nearest her.

 I began to feel braver, figuring if I was dreaming, why not enjoy myself? No one would be the wiser as it would all be safe inside my head.

 We all began chatting, Suzy and I peppering them with TWD questions. And they answering us both happily. It was like we were old friends just catching up.

 “Can I let you in on a little secret doll?” Jeff had leaned into, almost whispering into my ear, the vibrations from his deep baritone heading straight to my core, making me rethink my panty choice.

 “Um, sure?!” I was almost afraid to ask.

 “We saw you from the stage. All 3 of us.” He winked, his tongue darting out across his bottom lip. “We know how you feel about us.”

 My eyes must have grown 3 sizes bigger. How could he possibly know that?

 “Uh, you saw me?”

 “I most certainly fucking did. And I pointed you out to Bubba and Jon.” His eyes never leaving mine as his hand landed on my bare thigh.

 I tried to stay calm. But all I could think of, what I realized, was that his hand, on my leg, was most certainly not a dream. It was real. Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s hand was touching my bare skin, very close to my… UGH!

 “So…” He had now moved impossibly closer, his lips grazing my ear. “what do you say to going somewhere much more private?”

 I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, so afraid I might make a noise, panicked my body would betray me and he would know exactly what he was doing to me. I wanted, needed, to look cool, unaffected by his moves.

 “Uh, but I’m here with my frie…” I looked up to see Suzy was gone, Norman too. “What the?!”

 “Looks like she saw what she wanted and fucking took it. That leaves me and Jon. All alone doll.” He gave me this sad puppy dog look, pouty lips and all. I couldn’t help the giggle.

 “Whatta say sweetheart?” Jon was suddenly standing behind me, his hands reaching out lightly to massage my shoulders.

 Something inside me switched, on or off, I’m not sure. All I know is in that moment, that glorious moment, I decided to throw caution, and god willing, my panties, to the wind.

 I began to stand, both men attempting to help me. Jeff taking my hand while Jon pulled my bar stool back.

 “So where to gentlemen?” I winked in both their directions. A smirk on my cherry red lips.

 “How about my stateroom Doll?” Jeffrey purred in my ear.

 Not counting on my voice, I just nodded. We left out of the bar, heading straight for the elevator. As the doors opened, we stepped inside, Jeff’s hand landed on my lower back causing shivers to run up and down my spine.

 “Nervous darlin’?” Jon asked, startling me out of my thoughts.

 “Kind of?” I wasn’t sure how to answer, I didn’t want to scare them away with the wrong words.

 “No need to be.” Jeff whispered in my ear, causing another wave of shivers.

 “But we also want to make sure you are sure of this?” Jon motioned between you all.  

 “Yes, I’m sure.” I glanced up at them both, a shy smile on my lips.

 “You are fucking adorable doll face!” Jeffrey pulled me tightly into his side making me squeak.

 “We’re sharing Morgan.” Jon snickered, leaning down to kiss the top of my head.

 Whoa, wow.

 The elevator chimed, letting us know we reached Jeff’s deck. The doors opened and Jeff gently guided me out the door.

 “To the right sweetheart, fifth door on the left.”

 We reached the door, Jeffrey bringing his keycard out to open it. I stepped inside, taking in the opulence.

 “Wow! This is so nice!” I couldn’t help it. It was a beautiful room.

 “They do set us up nicely.” Jeff spoke, leading me over to a sofa. “Sit doll.”

 I sat down, Jeff sitting next to me, right next to me. So close our legs were touching, his body heat sinking into my bare thigh. I closed my eyes, trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

 “I gotta use your bathroom Morgan, pour me a glass?” Jon yelled as he stepped out of the living area.

 “I’m not your fucking bartender Bernthal!” He stood up, turning quickly to offer me his hand. “Come help me y/n, I’ll pour us all a little something.”

 I stood, making sure my too short dress was hiked up too far. I followed him to the bar, still a bit wobbly from the drinks I already had.

 “So what will your poison be sweet thing?” Jeff’s tongue darting our across his lips, causing my thighs to clench together tightly.

 “I think maybe I should pass, I’m still a bit tipsy.” I giggled. I turned to look out the window noticing the huge deck. I jumped when Jon’s hand landed on my ass, just a light slap.

 “Fuck girl, you are smoking hot from behind!”

 Giggling again, my voice almost a whisper as I thanked him. Hoping he didn’t notice the blush forming on my cheeks.

 “Let’s head out on the patio.” Jeff led the way outside to a grouping of soft seats.

 I sat down in a chair, both men just staring at me. Shit, did I have something on my face, in my hair?

 “Y/N, why are you sitting by yourself, get that sweet ass over here!” Jon patted the empty seat between both of them. I swallowed hard, standing to make my way to them.

 And then it happened, so quickly I couldn’t stop it. I tripped. Landing right into Jeff’s lap, my face that is.

 “Sweetheart! Are you okay?” Jeff was pulling me up and onto his lap. And I was trying so hard not to cry, the tears beginning to form. “Oh sweet girl, it’s okay! Are you hurt?” He began rubbing my back, pushing my loose hair back from my face.

 “I’m…okay, I’m just, so embarrassed!” I brought my hands up to hide my face. Humiliated.

 “No, no need to be embarrassed sweetheart, that rug is loose, any one of us could have tripped.” Jon took a hold of my feet, pulling them up into his lap, taking my shoes off and rubbing them. And fuck if that didn’t feel good.

 Jeff was now wiping the few tears that had made their way onto my cheeks, surprising me when he leaned in to kiss all over my face rapidly finding my mouth. It was such a sweet gentle kiss that turned heated when his tongue snaked its way over my lips and into my mouth. Our tongues began dancing the dance of domination, Jeff quickly winning. I brought my hands up behind his neck and into his short waves.

 I was so into our ministrations that I almost didn’t feel Jon’s hands slowly massaging their way up my legs, reaching my dress hem and sneaking underneath. He continued moving upward, my dress bunching up, until he reached his destination.

 “Silk, my favorite.” He growled as he ran his fingers over my now damp panties. “May I?” He had a hold of the lace waistband, asking permission to remove them.

 As we pulled away for air, I looked down towards Jon.

 “Yes.” I panted.

 Jeff was now nipping at my neck, finding that sweet spot where my neck melds into my shoulder. One hand grasping at my still clothed breasts, the other reaching around to my back, unzipping my dress.

 Jon’s fingers pulled at my panties, sliding them down, not stopping to touch me, just drawing it out, taking his time.

 I felt so many sensations at once, it was almost an overload. Jeff’s nips and licks on my neck, shoulder. His hands pulling my dress down, one hand undoing my bra hook. My bra falling, my breasts freed, my nipples becoming hard from the cool night air. Jon’s fingers gently tugging my panties down my legs, the delicate feather touch causing goosebumps to erupt all over my over sensitive body.

 As quick as it all began, it ended.

 “Can you stand up baby?” Jeff asked in his gravelly voice causing me to shiver.

 “Yes? I think?” I was a bit confused as to what was going on. My dress was around my waist now, my panties in Jon’s hands. My bra god knows where, my breasts exposed.

 I slipped my feet off of Jon’s lap, dropping them to the floor. As I stood, my dress slid the rest of the way down my body, pooling at my feet. I stepped out of it, pushing it aside. And there I stood, completely bare, my naked body fully exposed. In front of two men that I adored.

 “Fucking breathtaking baby, fucking breathtaking.” Jeff breathed out.

 “Gorgeous darling.”

 I felt self conscious, on display, bare, all of me. It must have shown on my face because both men leaned forward, each taking one of my hands.

 “It’s okay y/n. Let’s go inside.” Jeff stood, as did Jon, Jeff taking the lead while Jon waved me ahead. When we got back inside, Jeff spoke.

 “Bed?” He looked hesitant, but I nodded yes. I wanted them, I did. And I wouldn’t let my self doubt or nerves stop me from this once in a lifetime experience.

 As I made my way towards the bed, I glanced over my shoulder at both men. How did I ever end up here? My own fucking personal heaven.

 I crawled up onto the bed reaching the headboard and turning around. Both Jeff and Jon standing at the end of the bed, watching my every move. Their eyes lust blown and so very dark. Glancing down their bodies I notice both are quite “ready” for what was coming, in more ways than one.

 Their “looks” sent a wave of different feelings, sensations, through my mind, body. I felt totally exposed, on display. But I was not at all self conscious from it. They looked at me as if I was the most beautiful, most glorious creature they had ever laid eyes upon.

 “You are fucking marvelous darlin’, a sight to behold.” Jon spoke, a smile a mile wide upon his handsome face.

 “Amen brother. A piece of art, a fucking masterpiece doll. And as much as I would love to stand here drinking you in, I have a few other things I would fucking rather be doing with you right now.” Jeff growled, his tongue running over his amazingly white teeth.

My desire for both men causing me to become suddenly, and extraordinarily, bold.

 “How about you both give me a bit of a show?” I sat forward, beginning to crawl down the bed to where they stood. Reaching the end, I sat back on my feet, my hands itching to touch them.

 They laughed, a gruff throaty sound coming from both.

 “Wanna see us strip doll?” Jon winked at me as he backed up to sit down in a plush chair across from the bed. He slipped his boots off, socks next.

 Jeffrey did the same thing, dropping into a chair that was in the opposite corner. His eyes never left mine as he began to undress, boots, socks, pants, shirt. Until he was left in a pair of black boxer briefs.

 I wasn’t sure where to direct my eyes. Jeff stood, walking back over to the bed, his gaze never wavering. And I was staring at his very obvious bulge.

 “Like what you see sweetheart? Wanna touch?” He purred, his hand reaching out to cup my chin, tilting my face upward. “Now, as much as I would enjoy your delicate hands on my very hard cock, I need to touch you, every fucking gorgeous inch of you.”

 Jon appeared beside him, completely naked. I tried not to show the surprise, the shock, but my face betrayed me.

 “S’ok sweetheart, you can look, no need to be shy.”

As Jon spoke, and I unabashedly stared, Jeff climbed on the bed unbeknownst to me, his arms slipping around my waist, his lips on my neck causing me to yelp in surprise.

 In a muffled voice, Jeff laughed, his face now buried in me. “Sorry baby, I couldn’t wait.”

I felt the bed dip as Jon joined us, his hand running up my leg. Jeff’s hands coming up to my cheeks. “I need to taste you y/n, may I?” He sounded almost out of breath, desperate.

 “Yes, yes.” I blurted out.

 “Can you lay back doll, let us take care of you?” Jon asked.

 I nodded my head, crawling backwards up the bed, my eyes watching them both, not wanting to be surprised.

 Jon followed me up the bed, laying beside me. I sighed, he was so handsome up close and I just wanted to take it, him, all in.

 “Fucking gorgeous.” Jeff growled, his hands on my calves, slowly moving upwards. Taking his time, drawing out the delicious pleasure of his touch.

 Jon’s fingers began threading through my hair, his eyes gazing at me. I felt so special, so loved. Jon leaned in, his face inches from me. He lips brushed over mine, just barely touching. His tongue tickling my lips, requesting entrance. Which I gave willingly. Our tongues intertwining, tasting each other.

 Jeff’s hands now at that oh so sensitive spot that can make a girl beg for more. His fingers crawling closer to my core. Suddenly he pulled his hands away, his face replacing them. I could feel his warm breath on my damp center, making me twitch with excitement.

 “Be careful darling!” He snickered as he placed his hands on my thighs, propping them open.

 Jon’s hands were now on my breasts, squeezing each one with a featherlight touch, slipping upward and delicately tweaking each nipple into a hardened peak. His lips were now on my neck, my ear, licking, nipping, kissing my over sensitive skin, causing shivers all over.

 Jeff’s face was now right at my entrance, just sniffing, breathing me in. “Fuck baby girl! You smell like fucking dessert! And I’m gonna enjoy myself!” He dove in, causing me to jump, almost knocking Jon off of the bed.

 “I’m so, uh… l so sorry!” I gasped, his tongue running back and forth between my clit and pussy, driving me mad. I wanted to squirm, tried to. But Jeff’s large hands had a death grip on my thighs.

 Jon was laughing at my reaction, making me a bit self conscious. I frowned, imagining that he was rethinking his decision to be here.

 “I’m sorry y/n, I wasn’t laughing at you,” his hands clutching my neck. “it was more of a nervous laugh. I’d never laugh at you beautiful.”

 Both men had stopped their action, Jeff now moving up towards the head, a look of concern on his face.

 “Baby doll, are you second guessing this? We would never force you to do anything you don’t want sweetheart, you understand that right?” Jeff was now on my right, his hand running up and down my arm, the heat building up.

 “Jeff’s right sweets, say no and we’ll stop. I won’t lie and say I won’t be disappointed. But shit doll, speaking for myself, I want you to be happy with whatever is going down.” He leaned down, lightly kissing my temple.

 “Ditto everything Jon’s said, darlin’. This is all about you. But fuck, the things you are doin’ to me!” He licked his lips, moving to place a soft kiss on my lips.

 These men were everything I dreamed and more. I hadn’t been treated very well by men in my past, causing me to be very much gun shy. But Jeff, Jon, the way they looked at me, spoke about me, like I was someone to be revered, adored, loved.

 “I want this,” I whispered “whatever this may be.” I closed my eyes, sighing. “Just please don’t break my heart.”

 “Oh fuck, sweetheart, I’d never do that. You are a princess, and should be treated as such.” Jeff pulled me completely into his arms. “And I want nothing more to show you the effect you have had on me in such a small time.” He nuzzled into my hair, kissing my head, his lips staying there.

 I could feel Jon’s hands on my back, a gentle caress. “You are way to amazing, a stunning beauty that can fucking steal a man’s heart with one glance. Doll, don’t ever doubt that. Fucking kill me if I ever do anything to hurt you.”

 I don’t know what came over me. Maybe it was truly feeling love for the first time. Maybe it was the being in the arms of two incredibly handsome, sweet and sensitive men. Maybe it was the salt air, I didn’t know, and honestly didn’t care. I just knew what I wanted, what I needed. And I would get it.

 “Take me, please!”

 I could tell they were silently communicating with each other, feeling a thickness in the air. Jeff took a hold of my face, our lips meeting in an instantly hot and heated kiss, his tongue discover mine and fighting for dominance. Jon’s hands moved downward from my back, over my curvy hips to grasp a hold of my ass, squeezing tightly and making me squirm.

 While Jeff and I continued our kiss, Jon grabbed my hip with his left hand, his right squeezing between my clenched thighs, urging my leg upward. His fingers finding my wet and wanting pussy, causing me to moan into Jeff’s mouth.

 Jeff pulled his hands away from my face, placing them on my breasts, rapidly squeezing and tugging at my nipples. Our lips pulling apart only to catch a quick breath.

 Jon slowly entered me with two fingers, another slipping forward to find my eager clit. I writhed around as much as I could with their heavy bodies pinning me in place. I was nearing my end, quicker than I ever had before. As I came, each man slowed their ministrations, just light touches and soft whisper kisses all over my body.

 “I don’t know about Jon, y/n, but I need you, now.” Jeff growled in my ear.

 “Fuck yeah. Are you up to both of us sweetheart? I promise to be gentle and will stop the minute you say so.” Jon spoke into my hair, causing shivers.

 “Yes, yes, please. I need you both.”

 It happened so quickly, a whirlwind of movements arms, legs, lips, delicate touches and both men were well seated inside me, moving slowly, soothingly, as if I might break. But it felt like heaven.

 They began quickening their pace, moving in perfect unison. As Jeff joined our lips once again, Jon began nipping at my neck, quickly finding out how much I enjoyed that small spot where my shoulder meets my neck. His tiny licks and nips driving me wild.

 I felt a change of pace, both men nearing their ends, Jeff was now slamming up, his tip hitting my cervix and causing me to whimper from the pleasure. Jon was keepers by his pace steady, trying hard not to be too rough, but I could take it. I reached back to grasp his neck, whispering “it’s okay.”

 Upping his speed, I wondered if it was possible to die from too much pleasure. Soon the cabin became full of moans, grunts, sighs and screams. I was a bundle of hyped up nerve endings, shocks, sparks, shakes and shivers running up and down me, head to toes. I felt a great warmth entering me as both Jeff and Jon came, filling me up with their seed. It became surreal, almost otherworldly, the pleasure, the overwhelming feeling of love.

 We laid together, a big mess of sweaty legs and arms intertwined together. But it felt wonderful to me. The smell of each man, Jon, a strong manly cologne mixed with liquor and mints. Jeff, a lighter clean smelling cologne, with a hint of leather, coffee and cigs.

               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 I was startled, trying to sit up but realizing I couldn’t move, a heavy weight on me. What the hell? And then it all came rushing back. The panel, the bar. Jeff, Jon. I turned my head to see Jeffrey, sleeping with both arms encircling me, his head against mine.

 “Morning darlin’. Sleep well?” His gruff voice turning me to mush.

 “Uh, good, great actually. You?”

 “Like a fucking baby.” He pulled me tightly, causing me to roll over onto him. “That’s better.” He began rubbing my back. “Jon had early morning ops so he left after you fell asleep. Said he see you later.” He kissed my forehead. “But not if I can help it.”

 I tilted my head to look up at him, silently questioning his comment.

 “Last night was a one time thing. I’ve never done that and don’t plan on doing it again.”

 I was stunned. I mean, I knew that this was just a fling, a shipboard romance. I understood that. But wow, what he said, so blunt and to the point. It stung. And he must have seen the look on my face.

 He sat up, bringing me with him, pulling me into his lap. “Fuck! Sometimes I speak before I think! NO! I didn’t mean that WE are a one time thing! I mean sharing you, Jon, THAT is a one time thing.”

 Tilting my head again to look at him, “I’m confused?”

 “Sweetheart, I had an amazing night with you. I didn’t care if I had to share, if that’s the only way I could fucking be with you, then so be it. You did something to me, the minute I first laid eyes on you. And I knew I had to pursue you, couldn’t let you get away. And I would like to find out what it is between us.”

 Was he saying what I think he was saying?! “Uh, yes, yes, I’d very much like that. I feel it too. No one has made me feel like this, so special, like I matter.”

 “You matter y/n, to everyone. But most especially to me.” And then he kissed me. A sweet deep kiss that almost sucked the air right out of me.

 When we finally came up for air, he placed me beside him on the bed, standing up.

 “I’ve gotta shower, join me doll?” And he gave me the triple threat, a wink, dimples on full display, and the tongue dart out.

 And I knew I was in trouble.

[aion-rsa]

The Walking Dead Season 10 Ending Explained: What Happened in “Here’s Negan”

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This Walking Dead feature contains spoilers.

With Maggie back, there’s no doubt that Negan’s time in Alexandria is going to get harder. After all, she is there with little Hershel, and every day she has to walk by the man who killed her husband. When you add in the fact that Negan was there as Alpha’s second in commend when she burned Hilltop to the ground, it’s clear that there’s no road to forgiveness in Maggie’s eyes. 

Carol wisely steps in and attempts to defuse the situation by moving Negan and all of his stuff to a cabin nearby. Out of sight, out of mind. The only downside is being on his own gives Negan plenty of time to think. Negan looks back at the road that led him here. What turned him from a high school gym teacher into the leader of the Saviors? What terrible things did he do in an attempt to make sense of a senseless world?

The back half of season 10 went out of its way to avoid pushing the plot forward very far. “A Certain Doom” remains the season finale in truth, if not on paper, but the extra episodes have served as admirable attempts to push forward individual character arcs. Some have worked better than others, but none have worked quite as well as “Here’s Negan” did.

Here’s what the final episode of The Walking Dead season 10 revealed about Negan and where it leaves him going into season 11:

Finding Lucille the Bat

Exiled from Alexandria and stuck in Leah’s old cabin, Negan sits by the fire and confronts the worst possible version of himself. Negan, broken and attempting to rebuild himself, meets Negan at the top of his game. The leather clad, bat-swinging, shit-talking boss of the Saviors plops down in the chair and immediately starts dressing himself down. Negan as he is comes face to face with the Negan that the people of Alexandria cannot forget, no matter how many good deeds he’s done since the end of his war with Rick. Negan confronts this “cult of personality,” rejects the idea that he’s nothing without his past self, but he also comes to understand that he can’t just bury his past. Negan digs deep in this episode to figure out where he went wrong and why he’s ended up alone.

In fact, he does some literal digging. Negan goes back to the scene of his greatest failure and reunites with an old friend. Throughout his imprisonment, Negan wanted nothing more than to get Lucille back, to know she was safe and sound and somewhere in Alexandria. But she wasn’t. We learn in this episode that his bat was abandoned under the tree where he had his final battle with Rick Grimes.

After digging countless holes, Negan finally discovers Lucille’s resting place. Fingers around a maple handle. A big crinkly-eyed smile. Heroic lighting. And then the first flashback of the episode.

Saving the Real Lucille

A bag removed from a head. Negan tied to a chair, bloody, with two bikers giving him a once-over. He’s got medical supplies, and they want to know where he got them. Negan begs to be let go; his cooler is full of chemotherapy drugs for his wife, who is sick with cancer. He’s already led them on one wild goose chase, and if he does it again, all those rare drugs go down the toilet while Negan watches. With pain in his eyes, he relents.

Negan knows of a medical caravan with access to a warehouse full of life-saving drugs and supplies. He tells the bikers where they can find the doctors before they pack up and move to the next stop on their route. He knows these guys don’t have good intentions, and probably won’t keep their word, but he’s desperate. He’s desperate to get back to his wife before she succumbs to her cancer. He’s a man with everything to lose.

While the flashback is really meant to explore Negan’s relationship with his wife before he turned bad, it also reveals how he met Lucille the Bat. We learn that both Lucille’s are tied together by one specific event. Two or three days before being captured by the bikers, Negan, hungry, desperate, and exhausted, tries and fails to rob a doctor named Franklin and his daughter (who we learn is Laura, Negan’s future Savior lieutenant) with an unloaded gun. For his troubles, he gets a kiss from Lucille the Bat, and wakes up hours later being attended to by the very same doctor he tried to rob. They give him the chemo drugs he needs, and Negan is surprised that they expect nothing in return. They just want to help people, and what goes around comes around. It’s a philosophy that will eventually get you killed in the post-apocalypse.

Negan, of course, doesn’t make it home with his chemo drugs intact. After giving up the medical caravan’s location, the bikers head out to capture the doctor while Negan is locked in a storage room, agonizing over the drugs he needs to get to Lucille.

This time the information is good. The bikers get the doctor and Negan is let go with his chemotherapy drugs intact. No mention is made of what the bikers plan on doing to the Franklin and Laura, but the screaming of a girl suggests nothing good. Negan ignores that and rushes back to try to save his wife’s life. 

Negan’s Change of Heart

It’s clear Negan loves his wife and will do anything for her, but their marriage wasn’t an easy one, especially before outbreak.

Negan, seven months prior to the end of the world, was nothing but a selfish jerk. He bought a $600 leather jacket. He was fired from his job as a high school gym teacher because he beat up a guy in a bar fight. He yelled at kids while playing video games.

Worst of all, he had an affair with one of his wife’s friends, even going so far as to leave her waiting in the doctor’s office parking lot the day she was diagnosed with cancer while he was off with Janine. She’s smart enough to figure it out, eventually, but she doesn’t tell him she knows about the affair. When she gets home, she just tells him that she has cancer. That’s a turning point for Negan, the moment he becomes the husband willing to do whatever it takes to save his wife’s life.

Read more

TV

The Walking Dead: What the Commonwealth Means for Season 11 and the Ending

By Alec Bojalad

Comics

The Walking Dead Comic: Negan Ending Revealed in Final Issue

By John Saavedra

Months later, they are locked away in their boarded-up house, a generator running whenever it won’t draw walkers, and all the while Negan is catering to Lucille. He reads to her, they watch James Bond movies on DVD, he makes romantic dinners with dog food as the main course, and he makes sure she sticks to her scheduled chemotherapy regimen, no matter what he has to do to make sure it happens.

It’s a side of Negan the show has never really showed before. We knew his bat was named for his wife. We knew she died of cancer. But what hadn’t been established before now is just how hard he worked to keep her alive while she suffered through nausea and chills, losing her vitality and her hair in the process.

Just before Negan leaves to go find Lucille’s drugs, she tells him that she knew about Negan’s affair, but that he’s made up for all of his mistakes. It’s a beautiful scene between Hilarie Burton and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Lucille Dies, Negan Lives

By the time, Negan returns with the drugs, it’s too late. Lucille is dead and come back as a walker. It’s a moment that would break anyone, and it certainly changes Negan. With his wife gone and his home burning down in the background, Negan grabs the two things which are now most important to him. The leather jacket that was his wife’s final gift to him and the bat that will carry her name forward. Using barbed wire from the fence around their house, Lucille the Bat is born, and she’s thirsty for revenge. Negan backtracks to where the bikers have Franklin and Laura imprisoned, and while he has never killed any people (and was even hesitant about killing the dead), he has a natural talent for it.

Negan gets his revenge on the bikers who captured him and, for what might be the last time, does the right thing and frees Franklin. However, with the bat and with his leather on, it is clear that the Negan who cared for his doting wife is fading away, and he’s transforming into the loquacious murderer Negan. As he says to the lead biker tied to the chair, “This time you best hope I never stop talking because when I do, something very terrible is going to happen to you.”

Negan has cast off the old world, and with the Viking funeral he holds for his wife, he is getting rid of that last little bit of the old world that he carried around with him. It’s a new day, and he is a new guy. Seeing red is not a bad thing anymore, and neither is killing in the right situation and for the right reason.

The Death of Lucille the Bat

The real Lucille was sent off in a fire after overdosing. She was trying to free Negan of his responsibility to her and to give him the freedom to move on. Sadly, it took a while for him to get around to doing that. His last link to the old world died when she died. 

His last link to Negan of the Saviors dies when Lucille the Bat breaks against the skull of a zombie. Negan might still be seen as the villain who killed Glenn and so many others all those years ago, but he’s not that guy anymore. As the remains of one Lucille hit the flames to join the remains of another Lucille, Negan shakes off the ghost of a different person, and a different life, to rejoin the community he has put himself at risk for. Maybe Maggie will kill him for it. Maybe that’s what he is counting on.

Either way, the Negan walking up to Carol and company is not the same man Carol left at the cabin. No more bat. No more swagger. No more shame. No more asking for forgiveness. No more expecting forgiveness for his past actions. New outlook, new Negan. 

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For the first time in forever, and perhaps the first time ever, Negan is at peace. He cannot change the past, no matter what good deeds he might do to try to re-balance the scales in his favor. Maybe he will never get a clean slate, but he can do good for the sake of doing good and hope that what goes around actually does come around in the end.

The post The Walking Dead Season 10 Ending Explained: What Happened in “Here’s Negan” appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[hornsbeforehalos]

Whiskey, Sweetheart: Part 2

Pairing: Norman Reedus x OFC, Past JDM x OFC Warnings: RPF, Language, Breif Violence, Jealousy, Angsty.

Series Masterlist

Summary: After Jeffrey’s neglect pushed her away and into the arms of his best friend, Norman and Ky have to figure out if their new relationship can withstand not only the aftermath of the unspeakable crime they commited to keep her safe, but the backlash that comes from being co-workers with a very betrayed Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

A/n: This is the Sequel to Anytime, Sweetheart and The Conquests of Norman Reedus. You’ll probably be a bit confused if you haven’t read Conquests yet, though, or at least the Finale, but you could probably figure it out on your own if you don’t want to. But I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to, lol.

A-S Tags, (please let me know if you want to be untagged for this series.)

@elinyaes   @jml509  @jesbakescookies @daddy-kink-confirmed @aquivercactus   @xagateophobiax @sorenmarie87@missghoul18 @jdmfanfiction @jeffreydeanneganstrash @through-thesilver-lining @beffyblueeyes @docharleythegeekqueen @make-things-beautiful2 @srj1990  @dragongirl420  @reedusteinrambles  @youandyourstupidrope @addiction-survivor25 @fireheartart @redm81 foreveror-never @zombeeemomeee @blacklightguidesnic @jackybehappy @jodiereedus22

“You mind filling me in on what the fuck is going on?” Vicky demanded through her end of the phone, earning her an eye roll from me. “Uh, shit happens?” I replied, cringing at her tone as I continued to pack up my things into my suitcase. “Kylin.” She said, a motherly tone to her voice as if she as speaking to one of her kids. “Victoria.” I answered simply, pretending like I didn’t know any better. “Was it good?” “Of course it was, you think he would be bad?” I snorted in reply. “I haven’t ever thought about it.” She said matter-of-factually. “Lyin’s a sin, Vic.” My eyebrow quirked in amusement. “Yeah and so is sex before marriage, but here we are.” She deadpanned. “I worry about you sometimes.” “So, how big is it?” “How big is what?” I retorted innocently. “The dick” “Who’s dick?” “Who’s dick have you been fucking? Jesus!” “Jesus Christ. It’s big okay?” “Bigger than Jeff’s?” “I’m not disclosing that information.” “Fuck you, I’ll find out, one way or another.” “Any fucking way, you’re still picking me up from the airport, right?” “Yes ‘mam, even though I really don’t know why you’re coming back here when you’re going back next week and then having to come all the way back here for the con.” “Because I like jet lag, I guess. I don’t know, seemed like the thing to do at the time.” “Kinda like Norman?” “I’m gonna kill you.” I chuckled, shaking my head as I zipped the the bag closed. “No you’re not.” “I’m hanging up the phone now.” “So what happened?”

“Drama, Vic, fucking drama.” I sighed as I went into the tale of Jeffrey missing my birthday and Norman being there to pick up the pieces. I let the tears flow as she comforted me in true Vicky fashion, promising me that the next time she’d see Jeff she was gonna pop him in the back of the head. “What a dick, dude. I mean, obviously you’re gonna need him to be by your side while you cope with what happened, I mean, I wouldn’t be able to be as calm about shit as you are.” Vicky griped. The fact that I had actually murdered someone stayed a secret between our small group. It was kept from Josh and our parents, not wanting anymore people to be involved than needed. “That’s what I’m saying, Vic, he wouldn’t even talk to me. He’d call me and it’d be quick little ‘Love you, byes’ and I’m supposed to be okay with that? After everything that that psycho did to me? It’s like something switched inside of him or something.” “Maybe he feels like he failed you.” “He did! He kept telling me that he was handling it but never did, and then he can’t even be there for me afterwards? That’s not how it’s supposed to work!” “And Norm’s been there?” “Yes, girl, yes. He’s called me almost every single day to check on me since it happened. He cancelled shit to be there for my birthday.” “He’s always had a crush on you.” “Everyone keeps telling me that, but I never seen it.” “You have a tattoo for him, of course he likes you.” “It’s not just for him, Vic,” I rolled my eyes. “Oh yeah, him and his other incredibly hawwwwwt co-star” “You’re married, Vic” “To your brother’s incredibly hawwwwt boy toy, yes, I’ve been informed.” “Jesus Christ-” “Had nothing to do with it. Now, what are you two doing about this situation?” “Playing it cool, I guess, until shit calms down.” I shrugged, not really sure myself. “You really think Jeff is gonna let that happen?” “Fuck no. I know him better'n that.” Another snort left my lips as I collapsed on my childhood bed. “Exactly. How are you going to deal with San Diego?” “Stay as close as possible to Misha as I possibly can.” I replied like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Like that’s gonna work.” I sighed, my lips flapping together with the motion, “I don’t know, dude, it’s not like I’m going to be able to avoid him all weekend if I want even a moment to spend with Norm, but…I don’t really know. This is all so fuckin’ messy.” “That’s what happens when you get yourself into a love triangle.”

“I didn’t ask for this, you know.” “No, but you didn’t want to be with Jeffrey anymore, and you drunkenly slept with his best friend and co-worker and now if you want to continue sleeping with said best friend and co-worker you’ve gotta figure your shit out. It’s gonna be ‘messy,’ Ky. It’s gonna get fucking nasty, I’d put money on it. He’s not gonna let this be a easy thing for you.” “I knowwww.” I groaned. “Well, bite the bullet and figure it out.

“The Walking Dead star Norman Reedus was arrested yesterday in Manhattan after an altercation with a paparazzi photographer for the New York Times. A police officer witness the assault and immediately placed Reedus into custody. No charges have been pressed and Mr. Reedus was released early this morning.” Happy Fucking Thanksgiving to me.

“Real good job at pickin’ boyfriends, sis” Jensen rolled his eyes as our father flicked off the TV screen before returning to his duty of cutting the Turkey “Fuck youuuu, brother,” I sang back with my eyes rolling, “Dude was prolly an ass or something.” “I thought you were with Jeffrey, sweetheart?” My dad questioned, brows furrowed as he sliced through the meat of the bird. “Shut the hell up, Alan.” My mother hissed and swatted at him with a dish towel, shaking her head at him before turning to me, “Ignore the ignorant men, baby,” “I always do.” I snorted in return, helping myself to the mashed potatoes Dani had past me.

“Wonder what happened,” She said curiously, passing her plate to me so Dad could load it full of Turkey. “Who the hell knows man, everywhere he goes he’s swarmed.” I shrugged, waiting patienly as the plates made their rounds before everyone settled down for Grace. The rest of the dinner was quiet and simple, conversation drifting to Jensen and the show until the meal was done and the men retired to the living room for the rest of the afternoon to be filled with football and beer. I feigned tiredness and made my own way up to my old bedroom, collapsing in the messy sheets to throw my arm over my eyes at the same time my phone started to buzz. “Hello?” I groaned as pressed the phone to my face, not even looking to see who it was. “Well hello to you too, jeeze” Norman chuckled through the speaker. “How you doin’, Jailbird?” I teased, smirk playing on my lips. “Heard about that, did ya?” He chuckled back. “You were on the news.” “Offff course I was.” “Sooo….what did you do?” “Punch a guy in his face for talking shit.” He answered simply, probably shrugging his shoulders. “About?” “You.” “Norman!” “What?” “You can’t just go around punching people!” “The dude was a dick, I’m not even gonna repeat what he said about you.” “It doesn’t matter what he said about me, babe! I don’t care! People have been saying shit about me since I started going to conventions again.” “You shouldn’t have to put up with that shit.” “I’m an easy target, I guess, I don’t fuckin’ know. It’s the price you pay to be dating a celebrity. People are gonna talk shit, especially with once people figure out about us. It’s just going to get worse.” “I won’t let it.” “It’s not gonna be a thing anyone lets happen, Normie.” He sighed, giving up because he knew I was right. I smiled into the phone at the sound of him huffing, giggle coming past my lips at the thought that he was trying to be sweet. “You’re cute, you know that?” I snorted at him. “Whatever,” He quirked back, and I envisioned him blushing on the other side of the phone. “You excited about the convention?” “I’m excited about seeing you.” “See, look at you, being all cute.” “Stop.” “Never.” “Whatever,” He chucked, “Do I get to kiss you when I see you?” “Is that even a question?” “Well?” “If you don’t then I’ll be severely disappointed.” “That’s my girl.” “Mmmm,” I hummed as the smile on my face widened at the use of the term 'his.’ It felt good, right, sweet. I genuinely  missed him, even if it had only been a week apart. Jeff and I had become accustomed to being apart from each other so the yearning eventually got easier to deal with, but this was new and fresh and my heart almost literally ached at the sound of his voice. “I miss you.” He rasped lowly, almost whispering, “Can’t wait to see you.” “I miss you too,” I mimicked back, rolling over into my bed to lay on my stomach, “So much.” “It’s not gonna be easy to keep myself composed 'round you, you know that?” He breathed, enticing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. “You’re just gonna have to figure it out,” I giggled, smug smirk playing up my tone of voice. “You’ll have to figure it out with me, love, might need some assistance.” He purred, voice rough and gravely as he pressed his lips closer to the speaker, “If you know what I mean.” “Mr. Reedus, you are not very nice.” I whined. “Never said I was.” He growled, voice dropping even lower as the cuteness I’d been talking about moments before disappeared. “Fucking Christ.” “Awhh, am I getting to you sweetheart?” “Fuck you,” “That’s the plan, hun.” he chuckled darkly. “Are you meeting me at the airport in San Diego?” “That’s also the plan. Our planes land at basically the same time.” “Manuevering through that mess will probably be fun.” “Oh, I’m sure it will be.” He gave another laugh. I giggled in response to him as my door opened and Dani appeared, quietly stepping in and closing it behind her before crawling into bed with me. I rolled my eyes at her as she looked at me knowingly, just waiting on me to get off the phone so she could drill me with questions. “Hey, babe, I gotta go. Best friend walked in and she’s got that look in her eye.” “Ooooh what kinda look? Am I missing out on some sister-in-law fun?” “You’re disgusting.” “You love it. I’ll talk to you later, Whiskey.” “Bye, babe.” I rolled over to face Danneel as she propped herself up on her fists, elbows burried in the covers. “Sooooo, spill, bitch.” “I don’t understand that reference.” I deadpanned with a smirk. “How are y'all gonna deal with Jeff this weekend?” “Avoid, avoid, avoid.” “All weekend? Norman’s gotta pannel with him, doesn’t he?” “Pretty sure. That should be interesting. “What are you gonna do if Jeff says anything about it?” “I honestly have no idea, and I’m nervous as fuck about it. I know he’s gonna start some shit, Dan, I just don’t know how or when.” “Maybe he won’t.” I cocked an eyebrow at her sarcastically, she shrugged in reply. “Are you and Norm going public about eveyrhting yet?” “Not until we figure out what Jeff is gonna do. We’re gonna attempt to keep as low key as possible but…” “Yeah, we’ll see how that goes.” “That’s what I keep saying,” I sighed, running my fingers through my hair with annoyance, It’s gonna get worse before it gets better I guess.“ "Do you think it’s even really worth it?” I exhaled deeply again, crawling out of my bed slowly and cracking the window to my room. I dug around in my purse and found my cigarettes and sat on the window seal and lit one.

“You do.” She smiled.

“I do.” I let the plume of smoke filter out of my mouth as I looked at her, her eyes wide for a moment before she curled her lips into a smile and got up to prance towards me. “If he makes you happy, I’m all for it. Just be sure you’re 100 percent done with Jeff before anything gets serious with him. Don’t wanna lose more friends then you need to, you know? Be careful and take care of yourself” She cupped my cheek and moved her thumb over my cheekbone as she stole the cigarette from my fingers to take a drag, returning it to me on her exhale. “I’ve tried to be careful this entire time. All it got me was a fucked up relationship again and another broken heart. I loved Jeffrey with all of me. Fuck, I know I wasn’t perfect, but damn, it’s like he just stopped caring.” “I know, Ky. I know. After everything with Anthony… I just don’t think he was ready to deal with that.” I nodded in understanding, “I get it, I really do, but he should have been honest with me.” “Of course he should, but then again, you shouldn’t have fucked his best friend.” she said, watchign me as I inhaled the nicotene again “I just happened, dude. And I care about Norm, and he cares about me. We’re seeing what happens, and if we figure out it ain’t worth it, well, at least we tried.” “How romantic,” She rolled her eyes at me and stole another drag. “Shut up,” I giggled, tossing the cigarette out of the window and wrapping my arms around her, “Thanks bestfriend.” “Anytime, Sister.”

The flight to San Diego was nerve-wracking, to say the least. Paired with my already uneasiness to fly, my brother insisted sitting directly beside me and talking my ear off, then there was so much turbulence I was positive that the giant metal contraption was going to fall out of the fucking sky at any given moment. The entire time Jensen was hounding me about how Norman and I were going to act, reminding me to expect the worst from Jeff and just generally fueling my already plaguing anxiety. It wasn’t until we were off the plane and out of the terminal and I saw him waiting for me where he said he’d be that all the rest of the world drifted away. I did my best to keep myself composed in front of the waiting, watching eyes and cameras pointed in our general direction as he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head, his fingers digging in greedily where they rested on my hips. My nails dug into his worn band shirt at his hips as I clung to him, Jensen slapping him on the shoulder in greeting before making his way past us. “Jensen! Are you excited about Comic Con?” the reporter asked, her microphone tilted in my brother’s direction. I didn’t have a chance to hear his answer because another mic was forced into my face as someone shouted, “Kylin! Where’s Jeffrey? Is he not picking you up?” I ignored it, Norman tucking me in closer to his side as we attempted to make our way through, but the shouts kept coming, “Does Jeffrey mind you cuddling with Norman?” “Kylin, are you having an affair with Norman?” “Did you and Jeffrey break up?” “Kylin!” “Norman!” “Jensen! What do you think about your sisters friendship with Norman?” “Jensen!” “BACK THE FUCK UP!” Jensen suddenly roared, backtracking to put himself between me and the group of frozen paparazzi, “HAVE SOME GOD DAMNED RESPECT, JESUS!” Jensen turned back on his heels and wrapped his arm around the other side of my shoulder as Norman did the same, both men escorting me through the doors of the exit to the waiting car that had made it’s way around to the pick up area. “Jesus fucking Christ.” Jensen cursed as he crawled into the passanger side. Cliff was in the driver’s seat, a concern look on his face as he looked in the rear view as Norman closed the door after I climbed in. 

“That was fucking stupid,” Norman grumbled, arm throwing itself back around me as he took his glasses off with his other hand and shook his head, “I hate that shit.” “Ya’ll okay?” Cliff asked “Yeah, just stupid paps and their stupid assumptions,” Jensen explained bitchily before turning to look back at me, “I told you some shit like that would happen.” “I know, brother.” I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms infront of me, “Didn’t expect it to happen within the fuckin’ week, though.” “Jeff might have already said something to someone, sis, you know how he is when he’s pissed.” “PFftchyeah, we all know.” Norman rasped, propping his chin up with his elbow on his knee, “This is gonna be a fun weekend.”

Norman and I weren’t actually booked at the same hotel, but the company has booked his room directly across the hall from Jeffrey’s, and he didn’t feel like dealing with that, so he piled all his stuff in mine for the time being until he could see about getting it changed. “Hope you don’t mind,” he grinned, throwing himself down on the mattress as he kicked his shoes off. “Make your self comfy, why don’t ya?” I giggled back, shaking my head at him as I looked down from the edge of the bed. “Come’re” He growled lowly, his hand stretching out to grab my wrist as he stared at me behind his fringe. He pulled me down on top of him with a thud, a huff of a laugh barking out of me as he attached his limbs to mine and sealed me against his chest, “Missed you.” “I missed you, too.” I breathed, inhaling his cologne and smoky scent as I nuzzled my nose against him. 

He lightened his grip around me to pull my face up to his, planting a chaste kiss to my lips that quickly ignited as I adjusted my hips around his to hold myself up. His mouth parted as his tongue snaked its way past my teeth, enticing my own into a provocative dance that lead his hands to find their ways into my hair and across my back underneath my shirt. He moaned into the kiss, his teeth grazing my lower lip as his grip tightened at the nape of my neck. His hips bucked upward as I sucked at his mouth, my own grinding down against the denim separating us. “Need you, Ky,” He rasped as he rolled us over, holding himself up with his hands on either side of my head, shaggy hair dripping into his face as he hovered over me. “Need you too, Norm” I mumbled as I leaned up, my lips finding his neck and fingertips seeking out the hem of his shirt to pull it over his broad shoulders. He helped me dispose of it, pulling away for a second before caging me in his arms again to sink his teeth into the tender flesh of my shoulder. “Fuck, Norman!” I hissed at the sensation, my legs instinctively wrapping themselves around his waist to pull him closer to me. My hands scrambled down his bare chest to his belt, fumbling with the buckle before it finally was pried open with his button and fly. He leaned up again to work at my own jeans, and I lifted my hips for him to pull them off at the same time as I rid myself of my own shirt and bra. “Fucking hell, girl,” He grunted as he hiked my leg up around his shoulder, his body sliding down the mattress as his face became eye-level with my wetness, “So fuckin’ hot.” His cold tips of his index and middle fingers spread my aching lips apart slowly, his head cocking to the side as his tongue darted out to tease at my exposed clit. “Yaaaaaah! Norman!” I gasped, body instantly tensing at the sensation, earning me a chuckle from the man between my thighs. “Mmmm, so fuckin’ pretty.” He mumbled before reattaching his lips to my flesh, this tongue circling over the stimulated bundle of nerves again and again, his fingers moving down to gently tease my entrance but never go past the first thick knuckle. “Fuck, fuck, fuck” I panted, breathing ragged and labored as my mind shot off firecrackers behind my eyelids as I bit my lip, trying to hold back the throat ripping scream that loitered on the other side of my vocal chords. “Mmmmm” He hummed into me, the vibrations combined with the slick rolling of his tongue over me and the gentle pressure of his fingers triggered my release, the string of tension finally snapping and my mind clouding with blissful pleasure. 

“That’s it, girl, come for me,” He panted as he lifted his head, his fingers still working me over as he watched and felt my tenderness convulse, “Mmm, lookit you.” “Fuuh-uh-uhhhk” My voice shook as the shock waves continued to roll over me, the stimulation finally too much to handle, my hand shoving him away from the sensitivity and pulling his face up to mine. His kiss was deep, and rough, and I could taste my fluid seeping from his goatee, pulling a groan out of me as his tongue fought towards the back of my throat. His knees spread to push mine apart, his thick cock rutting against my sopping folds before sinking into me with one deep penetrating thrust. “Fuhk!” I gasped as the blunt head pushed itself all the way into my cervix, the painfully erotic explosion triggering a second orgasm almost immediately. “Oh, yeah?” He chuckled with a groan as he felt my walls flex and flutter around him, “Fuck, I love that.” “Yess! Norman!” I keened as he pulled out of me almost all the way and dived back into me, setting a controlled pace of not too hard and not too slow, causing my eyes to roll into the back of my head and him to burry his face into the crook of my neck. “Fuckin’ amazing,” He mumbled into my skin, biting and sucking at my neck and surely leaving bruises. My thighs wrapped tighter around him as he raised up onto his knees, pulling my ass into his lap by my hips and digging into me as deep as he could. “Look at you, take it…so…fucking…good,” He praised as he thrusted, his large hands splaying across my tiny stomach as he pistoned his hips in and out of me, my constant wails and keens spurring him on until another wave of ecstasy thrashed through me. Upon feeling the constriction, he pried my legs off of his waist and over his head, closing them and positioning them on his shoulder together before bending me in half to bring his lips to mine again. The new angle thrust his throbbing head into another deepness that sparked another orgasm before the last one even ended, a hoarse scream emanating from my lungs as he plunged into me with a quickening pace. “Fuck, gonna-” He started, and I instantly used the strength of my thighs to push him off and out of me before scurrying my body around to attach my face to his abdomen, his dick sliding down my throat with ease as the thick ropes of come spilled into my mouth. “Holy fuck, shit yeah!” He barked out with a huff of a laugh, his hand pushing my hair back from my face as he watched me drink all he had to offer me, “That’s the fuckin’ sight right there.” I grinned around his still hard cock at the same time as the door beeped and the sound of Misha’s voice flooded through the entry way “Kylin, I brought you your- Oh, hello there.” Misha was greeted with the sight of me with Norman’s dick still in my mouth, my eyes widening as I popped him out of my lips and he snatched the sheet from the bed to conceal himself. “Fuck, man, knock!” Norman snapped as I burst out laughing at the sight of Misha’s shocked face. I took the pillow that was nearest to me and sat in my lap, effectively covering as much as I could, not really caring since Misha had seen me naked countless of times before. “Where the fun would that be?” Misha chuckled as he shook his head, walking the rest of the way into the room and tossing a bag into my open hands with a smirk, “I found this with all my shit, looks like your warpaint.” “It is.” I confirmed, opening it slightly to see my makeup, “Thanks, Mish.” “No, thank you” He winked, still giggling, “Gonna have to add that one to the spank bank.” “Hey man, fuck you.” Norman grunted, his brows furrowing. “Oh, Normie, if you only knew the things I’ve seen that girl do.” he teased with another wink. “Shut the hell up, Misha.” I barked back, standing up to escort him towards the door. “You need a shower, you smell like sex and your breath reeks of dick,” Misha continued to torment as he walked backwards towards the exit, one of my palms planted firmly on his chest as I held the pillow to me with my other hand. I blew a breath of air in his face in reply, his head recoiling back as he opened the door to let himself out. “Good bye, Mishka, see you in a little bit!” I sang  as I poked my head out the hall at him before reentering the room and closing the door. “That was…does he do that a lot?” “What? Try to make people uncomfortable with how comfortable he is with nudity and sex? Yes. It’s partially my fault he walked in, I should have known to lock the deadbolt.” “Have you two…?” Norman asked quietly, looking up through his bangs as he made his way into the large bathroom. “What?” I questioned with my own quirked brow as I followed him, “Have we fucked?” He shrugged as he started the water to the large shower stall. “No, Norman, we haven’t. I did fuck his wife though.” I said matter-of-factly. Norman’s eyes widened as he straightened himself, a look of pure shock on his face. “Look, Misha has been one of my best friends since I was 17. We’ve been through hell and back together just about as much as you and I have.” I smiled at him, my hands reaching for his as the steam started to rise from the stall. “So he gets to see you naked? I don’t like that shit, girl. If your gonna be mine, you’re gonna be mine.” He drawled, eyes hardening slightly as he rubbed the tops of my hands with this thumb. “If I’m yours, then you need to trust me. I’m not losing my family over a relationship again.” Norman stared at me through his fringe for another moment before nodding his head gently. I nodded once as well before guiding him into the shower with me to wash off the stench of airplanes and sex, our hands soaping each other up and rinsing each other off before drying off and going on about our usual routines of getting ready. I had blow dried my hair and was applying my thick eyeliner to my lids when he returned into the bathroom to comb his hair and brush his teeth, his eyes never leaving my reflection as I globbed on the thick black goop. “What are you staring at?” I said without looking at him, adjusting the fallout under my lids before tracing my lips with liner as well. “Still tryna figure that one out.” He joked back, earning him a snort from me. “I say the same thing every time I look at you, Reedus.” I finished applying the dark red lipstick to my face before pressing a kiss to the man’s cheek, a bright mark appearing on his skin. He made no move to wipe it off as he assessed it in the mirror, an amused smirk playing on his face as he shook his head slightly. “Markin’ your territory or something?” “Or something,” I snarked back, hopping down from the counter and returning to the room to get dressed in a pair of jeans and Metallica shirt with a over sized flannel covering it. I tied my converse as Norman reappeared from the room, the blood-colored mark removed but a tinge of red still staining his cheek. “You coming to the cast panel this evening?” Norman asked as he stuffed his feet into his own shoes while holding his phone in front of him. “Yeah, figured I might as well see what I should expect tomorrow for him and Jensen’s,” I sighed as I flopped down onto the bed one more time, looking up at him from my hair that threw itself over my eyes. He smiled down at me fondly, his hand extending out for me to take hold of so he could heave me up. “Come'n, Whiskey, let’s go see what the wolves have in store for us, yeah?” He said, a small smile on his face as he wrapped his arms around me. I stood up on my tip-toes as he leaned down to give me a kiss. I sighed up at him as he squeezed me before stepping away to put on his hat and glasses. “And here…we…go…”

[spnbaby-67]

Craving You Chapter 15 A

Summary: The reader has to say goodbye to her best friend, she doesn’t want to go because Austin is her home. But she knows she has to fight for her job. Goodbyes are the hardest thing ever. 

A/N: Hey ya’ll I’m so sorry that I have not been able to get this chapter out to you in time. I have been so stressed with a lot of things lately my mom’s death anniversary was on Thanksgiving day, and I just couldn’t deal. Work has been so busy with our sales and I’ve just barely enough time to breath. But Alas here is it, it’s in two chapters A and B, I hope you like it, I don’t but that what I can do atm. Thank you al lfor understanding it means a lot to me. Thank you to Gaynor for beta’ing this chapter, and to Leia my dear friend and spn sister who done the sex scene for me so if your 18 dont go past the keep reading, just saying. lol Also Taylor @impalaimagining for her help on the next chapter part b. My work is to not be posted on any other sites without my permission.. Happy reading. 

Warnings: Emotional reader, Fluffy stuff, Saying Goodbye, Shower Sex, behind entry, jensen’s chest. 

Pairing: :Jensen and Reader, Jo OFC Jeffrey Dean Morgan. (Mentions of Jared)

Word Count: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG  lol 

Catch Up Here

Reader’s POV

After my talk with Jensen, I told him to lay down and rest. It was still early morning, he looked like he needed extra sleep.  If he was going to be driving for awhile tonight, he needed some sleep. I told him I could drive myself and I that I would've been alright, but he wouldn’t hear of it. So, I agreed for him to go on the condition that he rested till it was time to go, also after he had a hot shower so he’ll be refreshed and ready to go. He grumbled but gave in and laid back down on the bed where we were previously, I stayed with him until he fell asleep. I kissed his forehead, then went to find Jo.

She was sitting in the living room reading a book, she’s an avid reader. I sit down next to her. “Hey, you got a minute?”

She closed the book and looked at me. “You ok? How’s Jensen?”

“He’s ok, he’s resting,” I turned to my left side and pulled my knee to my chest. “Um, I have made a decision and I don’t want you to be upset.”

“Why would I be upset? Y/N, that project was your’s from the word go. You worked your ass off for it and to be taken advantage of like that? That’s crazy, I would have dropped everything and gotten on the next flight.”

“I know, but you know my fear of flying. With the two panic attacks almost back to back with of each other, I don’t think I can handle another one if I got on a plane with or without Jensen.”

“So you’re going to drive back?” She asked questioningly. “You know it’s going to be long and tiring.” As she looked worried.

“I know, the thing is Jensen wants to go to. I told him I would be fine, but he wouldn’t hear of me going by myself. I’m just worried about his shoulder, I mean the stitches could bust open or something.” I held my head down and fiddled with my hands, I do that when I get nervous.

“Well, you won’t be able to stop him from going Y/N, once he’s determined to do something.”

“Yeah, but I’m just worried about him Jo, I could’ve lost him in that fight at the store.”

She looked at me quizzically, “That’s what he told you?”

Why do I suddenly feel like there’s something he’s not telling me. Jo, what's going on? Do you know more than I do?”

“No, I don’t really know much myself other than what Jeff told me.”

“What did he tell you?” Ok my curiosity was way up now.

“One of the gunmen in the store had him in a choke hold, Jeff gets there just in time to knock the guy out. But Jensen had fallen unconscious they thought he might had a concussion, that's why he was in the hospital all night.”  She hated that she was lying to her, but she had to for her own safety and so that Jensen wouldn’t be transferred off the case if she didn't back his story.

I felt a pang in my stomach, “that's the reason why he had the bruises on his neck then, he really hasn't told me much,” I told her.

“Yeah, he was very lucky. I know it was a graze to the arm, but Y/N if that bullet had gone over a few inches. No telling how much damage to his arm could have been.”

“Wow thanks for sugar coating it Jo,” I felt my stomach do a flip and not in a good way after hearing that.

“It’s not just that Y/N, just make sure you are prepared in case anything happens on the drive there. Don’t let him take any medications that will make him sleepy. You drive if he does that, because he’s going to be in pain, and very uncomfortable I’m sure.”

I sighed, she’s right. I said to myself. There’s no telling what could agitate his arm, and I need to keep my eye on him for sure. “Alright, I’m going to go check on him. If he’s up to it, we’ll leave this evening. Thanks for the talk and understanding. I love you and I’m going to miss you.”

“Anytime Smalls,” as she gave me a quick hug. “I’m going to miss you to.”

I went back to my room and Jensen is still sound asleep. He was tossing, restless, in his sleep like he was having a bad dream. I climbed in next to him and rubbed my hand gently down his face as he settled back into a fitful sleep. I whispered, “It’s ok babe, you're safe. I am here for you,” I laid my chin on his shoulder with worry, then  I kissed his forehead to let him know I was actually there. Thinking I shouldn’t have done that, that he will wake if I kissed the side of his neck and shoulder. But to my surprise, he settled down and I soon fell asleep as well.

Jensen’s POV

I woke before her that afternoon, the pain in my arm was killing me so much that I needed to take something for it. I’ve been shot before so this was nothing new, but the pain it’s all the same. I had to get up and take a shower before we left, part of the condition of me going with her. But once I turn to see her still asleep, my self control slipped as I wanted to touch her. The way the afternoon sun peeked through the curtains, highlighting her face perfectly was breathtaking. You could see all her freckles dusted in place on her face like they were meant to be, her eyes danced under her eyelids as she slept. Her lips semi apart looking kissable that it took all of my self control to hold back and not wake her.  She was so beautiful and peaceful sleeping next to me, that I couldn’t help but stare at her. It was like I was trying to memorize every single curve of her jawline, or to count her eyelashes that rested in place. I watched her a bit longer, the cutest thing I've seen was when her breath would escape her lips. When she did that, the hair that laid gently on her face would move. It was adorable.

I hated lying to her, but in all honestly, I had to, also Jo and Jeff had to, too. The three people she cared about the most in this world were lying to her. It killed me the most, because of what she told me about her life. How she had been hurt so much by people lying to her, it was crushing weight on my heart. No telling what is going to happen when she learns about Jo lying to her this whole time about her knowing me.  Jo is her best friend who has been with her through thick and thin and I’m not sure if their friendship will be savable. I’m not looking forward to the day when she does find out. I would love to tell her honestly I would, but the minute I do, all hell will break loose. Tears fell down my face, I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I gently reach over to her and tucked a strand of stray hair around the back of her ear. She felt so warm and soft that I laid my hand on her cheek.  

She didn’t open her eyes right away, but I knew she was awake. “Good afternoon sweetheart, you sleep well?” I kissed the bridge of her nose.

She moaned, “Hmm, I did,” she took a deep breath in then opened her eyes to see me smiling at her. “What about you? Did you sleep ok too?” she tilted her head sideways as if to see me clearly.

“Yes, I did. Knowing you were here with me, helped. Thank you,” I winked at her.

She sat up a bit resting her elbow on the pillow then her head on her hand. “After my talk with Jo, I came in to check on you and you were tossing back and forth like you were having a bad dream. I climbed in behind you to hold you, you settled a bit then. I moved in then to  hold you so I wouldn’t hurt your shoulder. How does it feel, any pain?” She touched the side of my face with her hand, I think she likes to do that. I chuckled at her soft touch.

“It’s fine, It’ll heal in time. Are you ready to get things together and go?” I leaned in to kiss her lips.

“Yeah, I’m packed all we got to do is take a shower and dress comfortably, don’t you need to go to your place to get your stuff?” She sat up on the side of the bed then to stretch. The curves of her back were lined in place like an hourglass. I had to bite my lip to hold back a moan.

“We can, my bag is at the Padalecki’s. We can get coffee there before we head out of town if you like.”

She turned her head over her shoulder to look at me, “Oh I would love that, maybe Gen could set me up with some of that amazing banana bread she makes.”

The way her eyes lit up was like pure heaven at the thought of Gen’s banana bread, “I’m sure she wouldn’t mind. Are you ready to go shower?” I stood up and stretched a bit as well.

“Hmm, wanna join me?” She raised both her eyebrows at me.

“Hell yeah,” I matched her mischievous smile.

Reader’s Pov,

Once in the bathroom, I helped Jensen take off the sling. After his arm was free, I unbuttoned his shirt one by one, revealing his chiseled chest. Lifting my hands, I gently place them on his shoulders for a moment. It was like an unforeseen force that took a hold of me, like I couldn’t help but stand there and admire his chest. I placed my hands on his skin, feeling how smooth and ripped he was. It was a mistake to look into his candy apple green eyes. They were intoxicating, almost like a kaleidoscope of colors that showed his compassion and desire for me. We stood there for what seemed an eternity as our eyes met, and for a brief moment, it was as if he was looking into my soul. The tension between us began to build. I’d never had a guy look at me this intensely before, or show me the love he had was true.

They were the most beautiful color of green that I'd ever seen in my life, and it was then I knew I could just look into them forever. I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to walk away. I took a quick breath, then forced myself to turn away long enough to begin the shower. As the steam began to billow, I ignored my fear, and began to unbutton his jeans. I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised to feel the hard bulge beneath my fingers. I slowly knelt down, releasing his legs from the denim material. He was bare underneath, standing before me with nothing but a seductive smile. He held out a hand to help me to my feet. The touch was electric, and I felt my heart skip a beat as he began to undress me. Nervous, happy, scared, excited emotions ran through me. His arms wrapped around my waist as he brushed his lips against mine.

Pulling back for a split second, he opened the door to the shower, and guided me to step inside. The water was luxurious as it hit my skin. I stood in the warm water, letting it saturate my hair. As I reached up to wipe at the water on my face, Jensen's lips began to trace the curve of my shoulder, and sought their way up my neck. His hands roamed until they cupped my breast, teasing my nipples until they became hard peaks. I threw my head back in pleasure as he left his own trail of wetness on my skin.

He lowered one hand, until his fingers found the folds of my most intimate area. He groaned as he felt the warmth and wetness that he knew he had created. Gently turning me to face the shower wall, he steadied himself, still behind me, and swiftly entered my womanhood with his large, throbbing shaft. I cried out with satisfaction. He felt amazing inside of me, each movement pushing me closer and closer to the brink of release. I reached my hand upward, wrapping my fingers around his neck as he kissed and licked at my neck. His thrusts became harder, faster, until we both began to pulse with our own orgasms. Once our climax hit at the same time, Jensen bit down on my shoulder marking me as his own. I moaned out with pleasure, as it swept through my body. I leaned into him, still holding my hand on his neck, letting him finish his release.

He was kissing my neck and fondling my breast when I turned to look at him. My nose touched the side of his cheek affectionately, letting him know I want to be kiss. He stopped kissing my neck, I love how he does this thing with his tongue, it like sends a shiver of want down to my core. He starts out exploring my mouth a bit, then when I least expect it he will tuck his tongue under mine. He slides the tip of it upwards from the middle to the tip of my tongue, then with his mouth he sucks on it. It’s the most desirable thing in the world. Let’s just say my toes curl every time.

I help him out of the shower, then put a towel around his waist after drying him off.

He puts a finger under my chin to have me look at him, “That was amazing,”

I blushed naturally, “It was, thank you. You have no idea how much that meant to me.”

He winked at me, “Oh I think I do,” as he bent down to kiss me.

I pulled back from him, “You're distracting me Ackles, I need to rebandaged that arm and we need to get going.” I went over to the counter to gather some things to clean his wound and rebandaged it.

He comes over to me and holds me from behind. “Hey, do you think Jeff will let me borrow some clothes? At least till we get to the Padalecki’s so I can change?” He took his right hand and removed some hair from my neck to kiss the mark he made earlier.

“Sure, I can ask him. After I fix you up, now behave,” as I gave him a stern look.

“Yes ma’am.”

I look over at his arm as a new set of fresh tears start to build. I gently take an extra hand towel to pat at the bandage to dry it, that I had previously wrapped before our shower to protect it from getting hit by the water jets. He saw my face how it showed my concern.

“Babe, look at me,” he took my chin as I wouldn’t look at him. “It’s going to be ok, alright?”

I bit my lip and nodded my head agreeing with him, but that didn’t stop the tears falling.

------

I said goodbye to both Jo and Jeff, thanking them for their hospitality. Jeff said he wouldn’t have it any other way, and that I better come back again soon. I told Jo that I would and as she agreed to let me go. She didn’t want me to, but she understood. I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s my rock, my best friend, my everything to me and she knows all this. Jeff is definitely getting one of the best. I had went outside to put my suitcase in the back, Jensen’s truck has a cover over it which I’m thankful for incase it rains. I didn’t see or hear the conversation they were having.

Jensen’s POV

“You take care of her Jay, she’s my best friend and I know she’s going to be pissed as hell at us when this all goes down. But this was my idea for you to be on this case,” Jo said.

“I know, and I will take care of her. I wish we didn’t have to lie to her, but I know it’s going to save the company. They don’t suspect a thing, Kali is keeping up appearances there even as we speak. It’s getting closer to the end,” he took a look at the door to see her walking slowly back to us.

“You leave the rest to me, she’s going to feel broken at first. But I know how to fix it, I’ve patched her up millions of times. So when the truth does come out, I’ll be ready to help you and her stay together. She loves you Jensen, and I see you do her. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she reaches up and hugged me. “Thank you for agreeing to do this,”

I smiled at her, “She’s beautiful and like you said she needs someone in her life that won’t leave her. I’m scared how this is going to turn out, but I love her,” he shrugs his shoulders at the unknown.

“I know you do, and thank you for that,” Jo hugged me just as she walked in.

Readers POV

I walked in to see Jo hugging Jensen tensely, it’s like I walked in on something important and they are hiding something from me, “Um, the trucks ready Jensen.” I interrupted their hug.

I heard him sniffle as he pulled away from Jo, “Thank you for everything.”

“You just promise me you both will drive safely, can be crazy weather in Montana this time of year.” She looked at us both.

“We will Jo, I’ll call you or text you every couple of hours or so to let you know how we are doing.”

“You better,” she hugged me. “Just remember, I’ll always be here for you for anything. No matter what happens, just know that you’re my sister, my best friend, my rock. I love you Smalls.” She wouldn’t let go of me, so Jeff practically had to pull us apart.

“Babe, I know you don’t want her to go. But they need to get going, it’s getting late,” Jeff held her.

“Alright,” she let out a sniffle. “I’ll see you soon Smalls.”

“Definitely, I love you to,” I hugged her one last time as Jensen and I left towards his truck.

We said our final goodbyes and then we went to see Jared and Gen to get Jensen’s things, once we left there, we were on the road heading home.

Tags: are ope

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[irenewolfland]

Negan x reader

Hi guys! There are 3 days left until I leave for Walker Stalker Nashville and I am beyond pumped and ready beyond belief! So here is a little fanfiction to tide me over while this torturously slow weak slugs by. In honor of Jeffrey Dean Morgan I give you a Negan x Reader fic… “Gone?” (Negan pov) It had been a looong day of fighting both the dead and the living. Some of the groups still had to be put in their place, but it usually wasn’t anything that a humorous threat couldn’t solve. Other than a few loosey goosies here and there the run had been overall successful. Food in their bellies, supplies for the Sanctuary, and guns for the amorey. Yep… a good day if he did say so himself. And he did, with a little grin. With a bit of a pep in his step, he headed upstairs towards the wives’ parlor room; Lucille swinging almost giddley in his grasp. “Well, hello ladies,” he drawled out as he practicling swung himself through the open doorway. They all turned at the sound of his voice, knowing that when Negan entered a room it was best to pay attention. Sauntering over to the bar, Negan poored himself a glass of scotch and tossed it back with a gulp. He chuckled as he wiped the moisture from his lips. Sharry approached cautiousley. It was very rare that their leader was in such a good mood, and the last thing that she wanted was to accidentally set him off. “Good day?” she inquired. He replied with a full toothed smile, “Hell of a fucking good one! Almost perfect, except for a few loose ends. But, Lucille can handle that kinda shit, heheh!” Sharry had to keep herself from rolling her eyes at his crude comments. She knew that the other wives would agree in that they didn’t want to know what Negan got up to when he wasn’t around. Breathing out an exaggerated sigh, Negan rolled his shoulders allowing tight muscles and sore joints to strech and pop. “Yep,” he said; popping the p at the end,“I believe a massage from one of my beautiful fucking wives will do me some good right before bed.” He almost laughed when they all went suddenly silent. He wasn’t bad to them, but he knew that any one of them would drop him, given the chance to do so. However; he couldn’t keep himself from needling them. “Aaaw, now don’t all speak up at once.” “It’s Y/N’s night,” Amber’s quick whisper broke the silence and all eyes turned to her hunched form on the couch. Hearing Negan’s happy chuckles, Sharry turned to face him with a glare. “Well, I guess tonight’s gonna end up pretty fucking perfect. AFTER. ALL,” he said emphasizing every word. With that he drug his tongue over his teeth until his lips landed in a devilish smirk. His version of a fuck you to Sharry. Pushing off from the bar he strutted out the door and down the hall, whistling as he went. Closer to his room was a narrow door that lead to the only other room up there. Y/N’s room. She hadn’t liked the idea of staying with the other wives so she had begged him for her own room, and it was getting to where he had a rediculously hard fucking time saying no to that woman. And, it was getting worse as he spent more time around her. The other wives simply sat in the parlor all day and were as content as could be wether he came around or not. But, he had known Y/N was different the moment he met her. Since her agreeance to being his wife about two years ago; she had convinced him to give her her own room, let her accompany him on his dailey walk abouts, show her how to use a gun and knife, and she’s even cleaned Lucille a time or two. She has him so God damn wrapped around her cute, little fucking pinky finger that he can feel the collar pulling tight around his neck every now and then. Oddly enough, he’s grown rather used to and maybe… a bit fucking fond of the feeling. Giving in to Y/N’s little demands reminded him of a simpler time that he usually didn’t like to be reminded of. Raising Lucille from her perch on his shoulder, Negan tapped the bat in a knocking motion on the metal door. “Open the fuck up, baby doll! Haha, you have the honor of dealing with my gorgous self tonight,” he chuckled. … No answer. Blinking in confusion, he tried again. Knocks a little harder; the bangs echo through the quiet hall. “Doll! Are you napping in there!?” … Silence. Grumbling curses under his breathe, Negan throws his weight into the door shoving it open and almost breaking it. He’s stopped short when he sees that the room is empty. The bed is made with no one in it, the bathroom door is flung open with no body inside, and the whole room is dead silent except for his breathing. Heaving a heavy sigh and running his hand through his hair, Negan walks out of the bedroom and down to his own. He opens the door and begins pulling off his jacket, scarf, and propping Lucille up against the wall. A large relief falls over his mind as he realizes that he knows where Y/N is, now. Back when she’d first moved into her room next to his, she had bad insomnia. And since he couldn’t very well have her fucking wandering around the damn Santuary at God knows what fucking hour, he’d offered her to sleep in his room so that she wouldn’t be alone. Thinking now, he couldn’t really remember when it had gone from Y/N crashing on his couch to her now crawling into his bed every other night. Now days if he didn’t find her in her room at about this time of day it meant that she had snuck into his for an earley nap. He couldn’t count how many times she had been waiting for him, whenever he got home. No one else ever waited or even cared if he got home at all. A small smile tugged at his lips as he walked over to his bedroom door. He knew that he’d find Y/N curled up in his blankets and hugging his pillow just like he always did when she’d chosen to spend the night with him. “You better have something fucking good for me in return for having to play hide and seek with your ass, doll!” he joked; pushing the door open. The door creeked open and his smile slowly left his face. The bed was empty and made as he had left it this morning. The bathroom door was open, revealing that it too was vacant. The room hadn’t been touched, which meant that Y/N had not been here. She wasn’t here. She wasn’t in her room. He didn’t know where she was!? WHERE THE FUCK WAS SHE!? Breathing heavy and labored, Negan turned and sprinted out of the room; knocking Lucille over in the process. But, he didn’t notice. He had to find Y/N! She wasn’t where she was supposed to be; she wasn’t where she always was! He jolted to a stop in front of the wives’ parlor. They all jumped when he slammed the door open. He was huffing and puffing from anger, exhaustion, and … fear. “WHERE IS SHE!?” The women only looked at him with fear and confusion. They didn’t know what he was talking about. He roared, “Y/N! WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE!?” He was losing his grip on what little patience he had. They all trembled, afraid that this was going to end in bloody punishment. Thankfully, Sharry stepped up. “We don’t know. We havn’t seen her all day.” The air left Negan’s lungs. His shoulders slumped as he ran through a million thoughts in his head. The wives didn’t know where Y/N was. No one else in the Santuary really knows Y/N, so none of the regular workers would be able to tell him where she’d gone, either. And, the only savior who knew her was Simon, but he had been on the run wih Negan today. He didn’t know where she was! And he had no way of finding out! With one thought in his head, Negan stormed out of the parlor and ran down the hallway until he reached the kitchen. It was around supper time so the big cafeteria was crowded with people waiting to be served and the cooks who worked in the back. Just a normal night. That is, until the big bad leader comes sprinting into the room looking like a ghost was on his tale. After placing himself in the middle of the crowded mess hall, Negan almost choked on his own breath as began to shout. “Y/N!” He was hyperventalating, and clawing his hands through his disheveled hair as he continued to search the crowd in a panic. “Y/N! FUCK, BABY DOOOOLLL!?” Everywhere he looked he saw faces fucking staring at him. Some that he recognized, some that he didn’t. But it didn’t fucking matter, because none of them were Y/N. Taking one last wheezing breathe and preparing to scream his lung out, Negan gave one final call. “Y/N!!” “Negan!” His head jerked in the direction of the sound. When his dark eyes met hers through the crowd, Negan felt as if gravity itself was forcing him towards her. He ran. He ran until he reached her and when her tiny body knocked into his chest he quickly locked his arms around her. With shaky breathes, he pulled back so he could look at her. Y/N was smiling like she always did whenever Negan would hug her or kiss her. Not a care in the world. But at the moment, he felt as if the world had just fucking shattered. And, he was still trying to put the pieces back together. Bringing his hands up to cup her face, to touch, to reassure himself that she was there; Negan let out a shaky breath, “W..Where the fuuck were you?” Y/N cocked her head, brow raised. Her wide eyes full of the innocence of a puppy. “I was with Simon,” she answered. Her voice was low, worried that she might further upset Negan. Just then, Negan realized that Simon was standing behind Y/N with a look of concern. With a small smile; the savior explained,“She found an apple tree just outside the gates. She came and grabbed me just as soon as we got back. We went and picked a few to bring back to the kitchen.” Sure enough, Simon was holding a small whicker basket full of green apples. A big smile broke out on Y/N’s face as she looked back at Negan. He felt her arms hug him tight as she spoke animatedly. “Me and Simon even found a bunch more trees! He said that if we could fence off that little space of woods that we could have our own orchard!” Her eyes were shining with excitement; she was so proud of herself. Negan could practically feel her bubbling happiness, and that had him smiling back at her. But, he could tell that his face was strained. After noticing this, Y/N suddenly fell serious. “Negan?” she asked; her head tilting in that inquiring way. “Y-yeah, baby doll?” he was still shaking; but his full attention was zeroed in on her. Eyes pleading, she gently intwined her tiny fingers with his own. “Can we go home?” In that moment, he would have given her anything. Hell, he would have given her anything at any fucking moment. So, with a tired sigh of both relief and exhaustion; he simply nodded his heavy head. Tightening his hold on her hand, Negan turned to lead them out of the crowded cafeteria when he realized that everyone was staring. “WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES LOOKING AT!?” Of course, this quickly sent everyone into minding their own buisness. Shaking his head, Negan quickly lead Y/N through the halls and up the stairs until they reached his room. He closed and locked the door, not wanting any interruptions lest he kill somebody. He wasn’t exactly feeling his fucking fittest at the moment. “Lucille!” the squeel made him jerk around until he saw Y/N picking his prized possesion up off of the floor. “What are you doing on the ground?” she said as she held the barbed bat with gentle hands. Negan was always amazed at the amount of respect that Y/N showed Lucille. She didn’t know how or why the weapon was so important to him, but all that matters was that it was. So, he could only stare wide eyed as she carefully placed the bat in it’s designated spot. The chair by the window that nobody used. Honestly, Negan couldn’t remember if he’d knocked Lucille over or not. He had been in a fucking panic like no other. He felt bad that he hadn’’t even thought to pick her up. “Ready for bed?” asked Y/N as she turned away from Lucille. She could tell that something had been bothering him. Something major. But, she also knew that Negan would rather chew a pinecone than tell her. So, her best bet was to get him into bed and get him relaxed. She didn’t like how on edge being the leader made Negan. “Um …yeah,” he answered with a small nod. After the huge emotional cataclysm he’d just been through, his body and brain were a bit numb as the reconstruction was going on. Y/N giggled at his slow ass reply, before waltzing over and taking his hand in hers. “Let’s go then. I’m pretty tired too,” she said as she lead him to the bedroom. Negan followed; again, too fucking numb to really do anything else. Just like all the times that they had slept together before, they were completely comfortable with each other. Y/N stripped out of her day clothes and stole one of his white t-shirts that landed just bellow her ass. Too hot to sleep in anything more, really. Meanwhile, Negan lost everything but his tight fitting, black boxers. They both crawled into the huge bed. Him on the right side that had always been his, and her on the left that she had gradually claimed as hers. After flicking the lamp off, Negan felt a tug on his bare shoulder. He knew what she wanted, and sure enough, when he rolled over to face her in the dark he could still see her arms thrown out towards him. Reaching for him with adoration in her eyes. When his only reply was a cocked brow, Y/N stuck out that bottom lip and did her best God damned impression of a kicked puppy. She was fucking cheating! “Please, I need it,"she whispered; which actually meant that she thought that he needed it. And after the mother fucking day that he had had, he sure as shit needed it. However; he was not going to fucking admit that to anyone. So, Negan answered with an indignant grunt, "Fine.” Y/N smiled as he crawled over her; the bed dipping comfortingly beneath their combined weight. Negan finally let himself settle into her embrace. His head rested comfortably on her chest, just above her breasts. Their bodies were alined and pressed together from the stomach down. She held him close, arms wrapped around his neck. Small hands running absentmindedly through his hair. And, he held her even closer. Arms looped around her waist, pulling her tightly against his body. As he laid there with his ear pressed to her soft skin, listeneing to her steady heart beat; Negan thought about how bad today could have gone. It had turned out to be nothing but a shit ton of bad timing, but what if it hadn’t been? When he hadn’t found her in her room, Negan had immediately felt that tug of worry in his guts. He hadn’t liked it either, but it passed rather quickly. However; when he didn’t find her in his room either, his brain had jumped to the worst fucking conclusion. Y/N had been gone, and Negan had had no way of finding her. How was he supposed to have known if she was hurt or not? There was no way for him to fucking know, and he really hated that. He also hated how quickly he’d flipped his shit. Negan couldn’t really describe the feeling because he can fucking remember the last time he’d felt anything like it. But, It had felt like an ice pick was slowly clawing into his chest. Like he’d had a fucking noose around around his throat. Like all of the bones in his body were too fucking heavy to move. He’d felt … hopeless. Fucking hopeless! What if instead of Simon being with Y/N, he had come back alone? What if he had told Negan that she had run away?! What if she had gotten killed on a run?! Or … what if she had been bitten?! “Negan?” The voice was quiet but it still made him jump. He was fucked and he knew it. Y/N continued to speak still petting his head all the while. “I’m sorry for goning out today, but I took Simon with me just like you told me to.” Great. Now, she thought that she was in trouble. “I know baby doll. And I’m real fuccking proud of you for following my rules. But, do you think that you can follow one more?” he asked with his head still lying on her chest. Negan didn’t think he could face her with the level of fucking embarrassment that he was at. He felt her face nod against the top of his head. “You can ask me for anything, Negan,” she replied with pure sincerity. She knew that he always gave her what she wanted without thought, so it was only right to offer the same to him. God fucking damn, did his name sound sweet on her lips! “Fr-from now on, I want you tell somebody when you go out. I don’t care if it’s me when I’m here or Sharry when I’m fucking not. Just somebody, so that I can find out where you’re at. K?” Negan groweled at the fact that the situation had shook him so badly. He was supposed to be a mother fucking leader for Christ’s sake! Unaffected, in control, and fucking heartless! “K,” she replied as she yawned, “Were you worried?” Negan’s head popped up to face Y/N, his dark eyes met hers. Worried? That was a stupid fucking meaningless word that should have no place in his vocabulary after all the shit that he’s been through. But……. yes. He had been worried. Worried out of his fucking mind, when he couldn’t find her. Worried, when he’d thought that she was gone. “Yes” he said softly, before just letting his head drop back down to her chest. Negan just felt raw, and so he simply goes limp in her hold. Not wanting to think, at all. A couple minutes of blessed fucking silence later is broken by a quiet whisper. “I love you, Negan.” A content sigh left his lips when he felt a light kiss pressed to his forehead. Just like she always did after a rough day. Comforting him, and he never even thought of all of the fucking awsome things that he would miss about her if Y/N was gone. He placed his lips against her collarbone and released a quiet breath. “Well, I don’t know when or how or fucking why; but I love you too, sweetheart.” A little laugh escaped her mouth, and Negan knew that she had probably just been waiting on his stubborn ass to say something. She was smart like that. But she gave him the time to come to the realization on his own, because she knows that he had to accept the fact that he could still care about shit in this fucked up world. And,Negan did care about her. Haha! He fucking loved her! And today was just a small taste of how fucked he’d be without her. THE END If you liked this fic, feel free to request something

[geek-gem]

That 2018 Rampage Movie

I wanted to make this but first wanted to check what day the movie is releasing next year and it's April 20th 2018. Also I'm gonna make a new tag anyone else use it or if you don't want to lol man. It's just when I look up Rampage on Tumblr their are interesting results. Yet I've talked about this on DeviantArt about the latest news, I've liked and reblogged stuff. I'm gonna say I'm honestly excited for this film including as of now man lol. Just I'm smiling a lot but this movie being based upon the Rampage video game series mainly the first one. I feel like this movie is gonna be a lot fun. But also the fact it's a giant monster movie a Kaiju flick in a way ha, along with actors like Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Jeffery Dean Morgan, mainly those actors I know, and by the director of San Andreas, just saying I was okay with that movie. Honestly again I'm so excited and thought my bro was at my door and turned off my phone some what ha man mainly when spelling Dwyane but okay back to the movie. I'm gonna say some stuff I like Rampage, I'm not the biggest fan. Yet I've played Rampage Total Destruction as a kid and wanna get it for my GameCube since I'm older. Also played the original and World Tour that were featured in that game. In fact when I was younger I had a chance to play I think World Tour at a pizza place when I was very young. So I have some history with the series. Including since I'm older think I appreciate it more a shit ton. Along with my love for Godzilla and giant monsters seems to be really growing and coming back lol coming. But about the movie I'll be honest about this. I seriously hope this movie and I can image it. Almost put but first again ha mate yet...I was a bit bothered by the news George, Lizzie, and Ralph aren't gonna be humans turned into monsters. My theory is why they went with that idea cause maybe they don't want to deal with character development for these characters and having them being human I feel they might wanna focus more on them being monsters rather then humans which I can get. In fact before the news that they were gonna be regular animals people had theories of who were gonna be their actors even The Rock ha which is reasonable. Yet I'm okay with them being animals. Including the Rampage series as I know isn't the most story focused series which makes this a whole lot easier making this film ha man. Yet about the animals thing this idea I swear to God I feel like with Dwyane's character who I looked on the movies Wikipedia page is called Davis I imagine the story is gonna be like, "Hey I understand these guys are destroying cities and eating people, but can we not please kill them, these animals are basically like my kids so can you please not kill them. Also I'm gonna kick the assholes ass who mutated them". In fact I thought Jeffrey Dean Morgan might be the villain but he doesn't seem to be just...lol that God damn smug look can we have him as Dr. Eggman yet Bryan Cranston is really good man. Yet lol the story is like it's weirdly adorable. Because when Dwyane revealed the story details it mentioned that George is his best friend. I'm sorry I'm smiling but it doesn't talk much about Lizzie and Ralph yet I'm hoping they get the same kind of treatment where Dwyane's character cares about them a lot. I can imagine cute fan art where all the animals the ape, the crocodile, and the wolf are all cuddling and just being near Dwayne's character. Almost left the word ate ha man yet just the idea is cute and I'm okay with the change ha. It would be cute and funny. Seriously even thought have Dwyane's character be a animal whisper and he's like a father figure to any animal that gets mutated. Get a Great White Shark there and a Anaconda, make it more crazy. I don't know if theirs a snake character but I know theirs a shark character from Total Destruction cause that game introduced a lot of new monsters. I mean seriously lol I can imagine a sequel happening and featuring other monsters like the rat and crab is it lol man. Just okay Own channel on but I'm smiling. Maybe the sequels are named after certain games like World Tour I don't know if they would do that ha man also it's a reboot of the franchise, including maybe the third being Total Destruction, yet that was in a way a possible remake well reboot too cause it doesn't connect with the other games ha. Sorry mainly....I'm smiling my God yes aliens not gonna say time travel but....also I'm really interested of how they are gonna design George, Lizzie, and Ralph. I keep thinking and mistaking Legendary is in charge of this but they aren't it's New Line Cinema, yet I keep imaging the monsters just hope their huge maybe a 100 feet or more ha man. This makes me happy so okay thanks twice but put rampage 2018 movie and rampage movie but I'm not seeing any tags man lol. Anyway I'm excited and....I feel like a War Of The Monsters movie would be difficult I also reblogged some posts about the game glad I remembered it. Yet also next year is well....the year Godzilla 1998 premiered and I thought the Rampage would be close to it lol. Honestly I think that movie is gonna be better then that ha man just lol

[fathersonholygore]

AMC’s The Walking Dead Season 7, Episode 11: “Hostiles and Calamities” Directed by Kari Skogland Written by David Leslie Johnson

* For a recap & review of the previous episode, “New Best Friends” – click here * For a recap & review of the next episode, “Say Yes” – click here Things at the Saviors compound are looking grim for Dwight (Austin Amelio). After discovering Daryl gone, the others arrive back with their spoils, including Eugene (Josh McDermitt). Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) greets his new guest with a smile, and Lucille. But what about when Negan finds out one of his captives is missing? Won’t be happy. And someone’s always got to pay. In the meantime, Eugene comes to find he isn’t being killed. Rather he’s given a room, treated fairly well, given a bit of lunch after going through options of food which surprise him. They’ve even got kettle cooked potato chips. The fridge is stocked. Is the weakness in Eugene going to be a problem? Will he succumb to the temptations of this new life and not want to go back to Alexandria? Oh, and Dwight, he’s already feeling the wrath of Negan, as a handful of Saviors storm his room and beat him hard. Shit. Not that we didn’t see it coming. Dwight’s been put in the same room where he put Daryl, one where he’s been before himself. Negan isn’t happy about he and his Saviors looking from “tip to taint” and he’s definitely not happy about one of his wives – Sherry (Christine Evangelista) – having left not long after Daryl. Not happy at all. So now it’s a case of whether Dwight will go find Sherry. If he’ll try and repair the damage between him and his leader. Personally, I hope to see him change, after all the brutality on his part, as well as the brutality he’s seen from others; most specifically from Negan. It’d be one of the biggest redemption songs of the series. One thing we know for certain is, despite all that has happened Dwight does love Sherry, he never stopped. Negan: “Who are you, Dwight?” Dwight: “I‘m Negan” Rough and tumble Laura (Lindsley Register) shows Eugene around the compound. He’s still a bit sheepish, always will be. Soon, he’s brought to Negan. Sweet, sweet Eugene and his jar of pickles! He’s terrified. And who wouldn’t be, honestly? The I’M NEGAN chants. Lucille; know what she can do. Eugene hauls out his old story of being a doctor, et cetera, and for once it’s used well instead of deceiving people who actually wanted to help him. Thus begins survival mode in the hands of the Saviors, as he talks more confident by the minute; the name of this episode comes from his brief explanation. The slope gets even more slippery when Negan, as a token of appreciation, offers to send over a couple of his wives for dinner and conversation later. Sadly, this makes Eugene happier than it ought to, being in the hands of the man who killed his best friend Abraham. Negan: “Look at you, Dr. Smarty Pants.”

Eugene has a nice night with the ladies, without temptations of the flesh. The women are great fun, too. Witty, smart. They want to know more about his supposed involvement with the Human Genome Project, and he obliges with a bit of tough nerdy talk. He shows off a bit whipping up a bit of helium, doing a neat science fair-like experiment for the wives. What we see further is his getting comfortable with living there. Each scene with him is like a figurative and literal slipping away from his place in Alexandria. On the road, Dwight searches for Sherry. But what about when he does find her? What happens then? He goes to a house where there lies a picture of them on the floor. Memories everywhere amongst the empty cupboards. And an old note written by Sherry, one he compares to the note left for Daryl at the compound. In another room, a letter explaining what she did: “I let Daryl go because he reminded you of who you used to be, and I wanted to let you forget.” She also tells her husband that being dead would be better than being at that compound, under Negan’s thumb, hoping Dwight will someday get away from him and all the horror. Back at the compound, Dwight lies saying he found his wife, killed her after she ran into a pack of zombies. There are other things afoot. The women want help from Eugene, to help their friend Amber. She wants to end her life, the only mercy left. And tragically, it’s one of the best options in an awful world. She is going to die, one way or another. So Eugene agrees reluctantly to provide a relatively pain free suicide for the girl. Nice little montage of him doing his thing to “Everything Right is Wrong Again” by They Might Be Giants.

Punishment is being handed down at the altar of Negan. The man with the bat offers a show for Eugene. The doctor’s been framed by Dwight, to make him look in cahoots with Sherry for all the mess with Daryl. Nothing good for the doc is coming. Love how the scene is framed with Negan and the doctor in the background, just out of focus, as we’re focused on Dwight’s face, grimly bearing the fruits of his shitty machinations. Afterwards, the iron piping hot, Negan gets a false confession. That ain’t good enough, though. Not for a demonstration with Dr. Eugene in their company. He decides on tossing the doc straight into the furnace for everyone to witness. Watching Dwight play the part of humble servant, good dog, is crushing. He may have not killed his wife. He still just let a man get burned to death. Eugene figures out that the women want to kill Negan, the pills aren’t for Amber. They threaten telling the leader of his involvement if he doesn’t give over the pills. Except Eugene knows he has a place in the ranks, he isn’t replaceable; so far as Negan knows. One of the women tells Eugene he’s a coward. And he already knows that well enough. He’s content to hang around, eat pickles. Before a knock comes at his door. It’s the bad man and Lucille. Popping by for a chat. He wants to know who Eugene is – before he gets it out of his mouth, the crying fool replies: “I‘m Negan.” Next day he’s out surveying a bit of work with the caged zombies. Hypnotised by Negan. Is he playing the part, or is Eugene genuinely falling into life with Negan and the Saviors?

A solid episode I didn’t expect to love. Eugene’s not exactly a favourite of mine, though it’s changing now. This episode was an interesting look at his character, which in turn provided a couple unique perspectives into the Saviors’ compound, life under Lucille, so on. Can’t wait for “Say Yes” next. The Walking Dead – Season 7, Episode 11: “Hostiles and Calamities” AMC's The Walking Dead Season 7, Episode 11: "Hostiles and Calamities" Directed by Kari Skogland…