#jedcest prompt

[area50dununiverse]

Could you write a fic where Ed really struggles with the sexual aspect of their relationship cuz he started having a crush on John when they were going through puberty and suppressed any sexual feelings since then thinking he was disgusting/vulgar/bad for thinking them so he wouldn't look at John naked/didn't want John to see him naked so years later when they got together he was so used to feeling this that he finds it hard to get turned on + always has sex In pitch black and under the...

I can’t remember where it left off but it was basically that since ed suppressed his feelings since like, puberty that he finds sex hard and never enjoys it or anything and finds it upsetting etc so john decides they’re gonna take a little vacation and rents an apartment away from everything for a week and just shows edward that sex can be pleasurable by building up to oh and doing all different stuff etc and that he doesn’t have to be embarrassed and that he loves him

Hello lovely person! You sent your ask in 2 parts so I pasted the second part above.

I’m so sorry this took ages!! Life got in the way of me filling bit but it’s way longer than I normally write so I hope that makes up for it!!!

It’s angst to start, smut to finish…

Edward couldn’t bear to look at him. Couldn’t face the feelings that he felt, couldn’t face the way his body reacted. John didn’t know, of course, he was always the clueless one. Edward would always have to give him hints or outright tell him when something was happening under his nose. Not this time though. This was different because he couldn’t know about this. Edward was, for once, glad that he didn’t pick up on the undertones.He doesn’t know why but his fingers found a patch of skin on his outer thigh and they pinched. It hurt but it worked. Edward wasn’t thinking about how John was standing in front of his bed half naked, he’s not feeling anything but the ache of the pinch and any stirring down South that may have been going on had disappeared. Edward could stay composed, keep talking like nothing was happening because that dull pain took over his senses and he’s okay for now.He keeps doing it. Every horny dream, every awkward boner and every time John insists on walking around with no damn clothes on. They had never been shy in front of each other, why would they be? As twins, best friends, they just never grew out of sharing beds or leaving the room to change. Until Edward’s feelings had started to change, that was. It was different then, he would find himself leaving the room, locking himself in the bathroom to undress. Sharing a bed was the biggest no-no. Not after the last time a few months ago when Edward had woken up hard and pressed up against a sleeping John.But John carried on. Didn’t notice the sudden shift, didn’t comment on the awkwardness of it all or the bright red faces. He was just John and Edward loved him. He loved him more than anything, more than he should, more than a brother.It had gotten better since Edward had started pinching; the boners and dirty dreams got less frequent and he could actually look at John while he dressed without fear of feeling things. Edward still loved him but there was no physical evidence and he could live with that, carry on as normal. There was a permanent bruise on his leg but it was okay, a small price to pay. He was better. He fixed himself.•It was just a small gift, a small token to celebrate the milestone. Edward had no idea that a tiny, red heart-shaped keyring would get such a reaction as he cried on John’s shoulder.It wasn’t just a celebration of getting their own apartment, the independence, the space; it meant freedom and finally being together.To the outside, he and John were flatmates and they were both sure to choose a two bedroom apartment so it wouldn’t raise questions. But inside, on the inside it meant no more secrets, no more whispered ‘I love yous’ or sneaking into each other’s beds. It meant they could hold hands, kiss and be a couple.John had handed over Edward’s key with the enamel red heart keyring attached and he knew what it stood for. Finally, after five years of being together, he and John could really be together. At twenty-four years old, their lives had only just started.•John lightly trailed his fingers down Edward’s back before running them back up to his shoulders. Edward shrugged him off as his fingers started to make their way back down to the middle of his back. Edward didn’t want to be touched right now.He heard John sigh from behind and he winced, feeling like a disappointment, a failure and all he wanted to do was to lay down and cry.He continued to scowl at the wall in front of the bed, eyes determinately focused on one spot. John was laying next to him, his head against the pillows, looking at his back. Edward knew he was watching, he could feel his stare and all he wanted to do was lay down with him, cuddle with him and close his eyes but he couldn’t bear it right now. Couldn’t stand to see that look in John’s eyes again.So he didn’t. He stayed sitting up, elbows resting on bent knees, eyes burning a hole into the wall.“It’s okay,” John said gently, his hand returning to rub his back. Edward’s eyes closed at the contact and his head shook because it wasn’t okay. He had heard John’s frustrated sigh, saw him flop down onto his pillows. He was losing patience, Edward wasn’t stupid; he knew.“I need some water.” Edward’s voice was cracked as he got up and left the room without even looking back at John. He padded to the kitchen and ran the cold tap before getting a glass and filling it. John hadn’t followed, which he was glad about because he didn’t want to have that conversation again.Edward sat at the table, naked body sticking to the wooden chair. but he couldn’t care; couldn’t go back to bed.He stared at the untouched glass of water and folded his arms while visions of picking the glass up and throwing it at a wall ran through his mind, anything to get the frustration out. The thought led to how frustrated John must be and he felt sad again, anger washed away quickly. Edward just wanted a normal relationship, to do what normal couples did and just be normal.He frowned at the water, his mind reminding him that he must be the only twenty-six-year-old in the word that wasn’t having sex. Actually, there was one other person: John. But that wasn’t his fault, it was Edward’s. He had broken himself all those years ago.Edward had started to tell John after a while to go find someone else, someone who could give him what he needed. John never did, always reassured Edward that he gave him everything he needed and more and Edward was always silently relieved. Edward knew John loved him, they wouldn’t be doing all of this, all the secrets and risk involved if it wasn’t completely and utterly love. But he couldn’t help but doubt it, wonder if someone else may catch his eye if his urges would ever lead him into someone else’s bed.“Come to bed,” John’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts with a jump. He took a few steps forward, his eyes worried. “Don’t cry.”“I’m not,” Edward said before putting his hand up and finding that in fact, he had been crying. He wiped away the tears and looked at John, sadness raising in his chest.“I’m sorry John,” Edward whispered, wiping away any fresh tears that fell.John didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to as he pulled him up and took him by the hand and lead him back into the bedroom.John lay Edward down, pulling the quilt over and tucking it in around him. He walked around the bed to get into his side and wrapped his arms around him from behind. He pressed a firm kiss to the base of Edward’s neck as he put his hands over John’s and relaxed into him. John soon fell asleep while Edward laid for hours, listening to John’s quiet snores. He waited for sleep to finally take him but it never did.•Edward jolted awake with a start. Something had woken him but he didn’t know what. It was dark, pitch black in the room and he felt John next to him and knew he was awake too. “Thunder-” he mumbled sleepily as if he has been awake for much longer.“What’s the time?” Edward shifted onto his back and stretched as John checked his phone before saying: “half one,” and turning to face him. His hand was hot on Edward’s hip and he couldn’t help but wish he would move it down just a bit further.There was another clap of thunder and Edward wished the curtains weren’t so heavy so he could see the lightning. John said something that he didn’t hear, his mind too busy focusing on the weight of John’s hand. This rarely happened so he was excited and had to take action. He rested his hand over John’s, slowly guiding it down towards the arch in his pants. John rested his hand there for a second before applying some pressure, making Edward’s hips raise and press against him.He slipped his hand under the material of his tight boxers and stroked lightly, ghosting over the skin not nearly enough but too much all at once. Edward turned his head towards him even though it was far too dark to see anything. It had been weeks since the last time they even tried anything remotely sexual. It was like John was scared to come near Edward after the last time.Edward’s hand grabbed at the front of John’s pants, pulling the front down and hurriedly stroking him. It was rushed and John picked up his own pace, making his head spin. “Edward…” John breathed, making him flinch as Edward’s hand faltered slightly.His hand was suddenly gone and Edward missed it instantly but John was moving so he was leaning over him and straddling his hips, slowly rolling his hips against Edward’s. It felt good, amazing even and Edward couldn’t catch his breath.“Fuck, Edward,” John whined, picking up his pace grinding down harder. His voice was off-putting and as guilty as it made Edward feel, he needed him to be quiet so pulled him down for a kiss.John’s hand wrapped around both cocks, making Edward buck up into the tightness. He did the same, his hips moving at the same pace as Edward’s and it wasn’t long before he was coming, shaky moans being swallowed by Edward’s kiss.Edward followed a second or two later, finally getting the release he needed so badly as his orgasm ripped through his body.It was over quickly and they were soon laying next to each other in the darkness. He could hear John’s heavy breathing, the same as his own and it somehow made him feel secure knowing he was there.“I love you.” John moved and the quilt was soon over the both bodies, his arm draped over Edward, his body hot and solid.“I love you too,” Edward said not missing the weight behind the words because he did, more than John would ever know. Or perhaps he would know because he loved Edward just as much, he was sure of it. No matter how broken he was.•John was sleeping. Edward sat up in bed watching him in the Sunday morning glow of the warm sun. He thought John was beautiful but not in an egotistic way because they were identical because Edward could see so many differences that he had started to think they weren’t even that alike anymore. No, he thought John was the most beautiful thing on this earth and it took him back to when he was a teenager and he had to admire him from afar.But now he was Edward’s and his kisses and touches still sent sparks through his body, made him come alive with an electricity that was pure love. He didn’t know why it was so impossible to have sex with John, to get hard when he was with him because when you were so besotted with someone, weren’t you supposed to be intimate? It was a normal thing to do but he just couldn’t. It had been two weeks since the quick fumble in the dark and all he could think about was how he wished John would keep quiet. Edward thought about kissing him, stifling his moans and whispered words and he could still feel the relief when it worked and John was silent.Edward often thought about telling him. Telling him how this all came about and how he had conditioned his brain not to respond to him so he had no physical effect on Edward. But that would just upset him, the whole idea that he would rather maintain a bruise than feel anything for him. It upset him and he felt guilty like Edward had broken some kind of trust between them. No, he couldn’t tell him.John moved in his sleep, his eyes flickering behind his closed lids. Edward knew he was close to waking and he almost missed the peace of the moment. John shifted again and his eyes were opening as he stretched his body and yawned. “Morning,” he croaked, peeking from his one open eye.“Hey.” Edward smiled on reflex because smiling was a side effect of being with John and he hoped that he would never recover. “Does it creep you out that I watch you?”“No,” John smiled, not missing the humour in Edward’s words. “Because I watch you all the time-” he leant up to place a kiss to Edward’s lips before heading for the toilet. Edward watched him go, wishing he could give him more than a kiss on mornings like these.•“I’ve booked a holiday,” John said as Edward entered the room. It was first thing in the morning after he had given him the brush off again the night before.“What? Where?” Edward didn’t really care where the holiday destination was, his mind was too busy coming up with the worst case scenarios. This was his last chance. He was taking him away for one final holiday before he leaves Edward. Things will go back to how they were before they were together. Or worse, he’ll cut ties completely.“Edward, are you okay?” John asked, pulling him out of his vision of John finding someone new, his replacement. “You don’t look too happy about it?”“I am,” he said with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Of course I’m happy, it’s just last time I got sick on the flight so I was just thinking about that.”“Good news then, we’re not flying.” John said, “it’s a very long drive but no flights.” John turned his laptop around to face him, showing a tiny little cottage in the middle of nowhere.“You taking me there to murder me?” He asked, only half joking. John laughed as he shook his head, his body and face relaxed.“Yes Ed, I’m finally bored of you.” And that hit a nerve. There was a sinking feeling in Edward’s stomach, a tightness in his chest but he just smiled and said: “you love me far too much, don’t lie.”•It was raining and Edward was cold and wet. The journey to the cottage was a nightmare and he cursed John on more than one occasion but they finally arrived and the house was warm with a fire already burning.“It’s so old-fashioned,” John mumbled as he put the bags down by the front door and he was right. everything was floral patterns or knitted.“It’s sweet,” Edward told him, wrapping himself in one of the knitted blankets as he kicked off his wet runners. John looked at him with a hint of a smile, his eyes soft and Edward couldn’t help but notice something there. He looked at Edward like he was the only thing in the world like he was John’s world and he was Edward’s too.“I love you,” Edward said without even realising he had spoken. John’s smile widened before he returned the words, his eyes still shining, reflecting the fire.They ended up going to bed early in their onesies to fight the cold. Edward was sleepy and John was warm as he held him close. “We should’ve come in summer,” John said, his words rumbling in his chest where Edward’s head rested. “It’s freezing.”“It’s cosy,” Edward said as his eyes fell shut.“Are you glad we came?” John asked, his voice shaky, nervous. Edward sat up on his elbow to look at him with a slight frown and a reassuring “of course,” but he knew that wasn’t the full truth so Edward had to be honest. “I was- I’m scared.” He corrected, looking just above John’s head, his eyes tracing the pattern of his pillowcase.“For what?” He asked, shifting himself so he was facing Edward, his fingers coming up to draw invisible lines up and down his arm.The question was a heavy one and Edward didn’t know how to answer. did Edward dare tell him that ever since he had told him about coming, he had been picturing their break up? Edward could almost hear what John would say, word for word and those words, no matter how imaginary they were, felt real, felt impending.“Edward?”“You’re going to leave.” The words were almost whispered and caught in his throat. They felt rough and sharp.“Leave? To where?” John sat up now, leaning against the headboard as Edward sat up opposite him, his legs crossed and elbows on his knees.“Me. You’ll leave me…” Their eyes met in that moment and Edward saw it dawn on him as he added: “alone.”There wasn’t even a second of silence before John was shaking his head, a stream of 'no’s’ being hushed as he leant towards him to cup his face in his hands. “Why on earth would you think that Ed?”“Because-” Edward didn’t have an answer. Not really. He couldn’t explain, so he just shrugged.“I love you, that’s why we’re here. I thought we just needed time, alone and away from everything.”He planted a firm kiss on Edward’s forehead, his lips slightly cold from the chilly air. “I just want to get close to you again Edward, you’ve been so distant lately.”His words were laced with sadness and worry and Edward felt horrible yet relieved. Guilt crept in because he didn’t mean to be distant, he didn’t want to build barriers but he had to in order to spare John’s feelings.“I’m sorry,” Edward said, the truth on his tongue. He knew that he had to tell him, for him to understand. “Is it because of-” there was a pause before he whispered “my problem?” It was embarrassing and he felt his cheeks heat up against the cold of the room.“It’s not just about that, I don’t mind if you don’t want sex but you just won’t get close to me. It’s like you can’t bear the thought of being near me.” John looked really sad now and Edward wanted to go back to laying against him in a haze of sleepy warmth but it was too late. John thought he disgusted him and there was no way out of it.“When I was young, twelve or thirteen maybe-” Edward started his eyes everywhere but on John. “When I first realised that I loved you in more ways than I should, in a way you could never love back… I thought it was so wrong. I thought you would hate me because it’s weird right?”Edward chanced a look in his direction but didn’t really see his expression, didn’t look for long enough to read him. “I had no idea how you felt, all I knew that I was feeling things and it was having a physical effect that I couldn’t control. I knew I had to do something about it so I created a distraction, a way to focus on something else so I wouldn’t get hard or I would forget my dirty dream ever happened.”He looked at the bedding and swallowed hard, picking at a thread that was sticking out. Edward didn’t want to cry because he needed to finish explaining. “So I used to pinch myself, as hard as I could and the pain would override everything-” Edward absentmindedly rubbed his fingers over the spot that used to carry the bruise, John’s eyes lowering to watch his hand.“It got to the point that I would stop having dreams altogether. You would walk around naked and I wouldn’t feel anything, my body no longer reacted and I was relieved because I felt normal for once. I don’t know that I had broken myself, I had made it impossible to be intimate and I’m sorry.”Edward’s eyes met his and it was silent. The silence felt like it lasted forever but he wasn’t  sure if he wanted John to speak or not.“Why didn’t you tell me?” John asked sadly, his brow furrowed and lips tight.“I didn’t want to upset you.”John nodded and sighed, pulling at Edward’s arm until he was in his arms, tightly wrapped up in a safety net.“I wish you told me, Edward.” He said, “your brain just made a connection between getting turned on and pain, we can fix this.”Edward leant back to look at him again, his eyes glassy and sombre. He nodded once and John gave him a tiny smile as he nods too. “We just need to persevere, you’ll get there,” John says softly, pulling Edward back down against him.“Thank you.” Edward felt overwhelmed, exhausted and drained. He was tired and the cold had crept in while they were sitting up.“For what?” John asked, his voice just as tired.“For being you, I love you, John.”“I love you too Edward.”Edward smiled against his chest, feeling free like a weight had been lifted. He hadn’t realised how much of an effect it had been having on him until now.“Edward?” John whispered as sleep had started taking him. He hummed in response, too far into drowsiness to form words. “I could never leave you.”•Edward was up late the next day, emerging out of the room after lunch time. John was already up and Edward couldn’t believe his eyes when he entered the kitchen to find him making what looked like the beginnings of a cake. He never cooked, let alone baked and as he peeked over his shoulder with a questioning frown, John simply turned his head to kiss him.“What’s this?” He asked once John’s lips were no longer on his.“Cake,” he smiled like a proud parent, “I found a recipe book and was bored so I thought I would try. Does it look right to you?”Edward leant towards the mixing bowl and inspected the chocolately mixture. He was more concerned about the fact John had used all of the chocolate bars he had packed and Edward hoped this cake worked for his sake.“Yeah, looks good.” He settled on, choosing not to threaten him that if his cake didn’t work- he’s dead.Once the cake was in the oven and Edward had eaten a bowl of cereal, he and John settled down to watch a film. Neither bothered with getting dressed, it was still cold and no one else was going to see them.The film had got boring a long time ago and Edward couldn’t help but watch John instead of the TV. His brow was furrowed slightly as he watched, trying to follow the ridiculous storyline that had lost Edward ages ago. His teeth picked at the skin on his bottom lip as he watched and Edward felt the need to kiss him.“I’m bored,” Edward finally announced, “can we eat the cake?”“No, it’s cooling,” John said, knowing too well that it was cool enough by now. Edward groaned and John laughed which made him groan again.“Entertain me, John, I’m bored.”John glanced at Edward with a wicked glint in his eye that made him tense. He knew what John was thinking and the dread started to bubble in the pit of your stomach. He leaned closer, his face directly in front of Edward’s before whispering, “can I kiss you?”“You don’t need to ask John.” Edward closed the gap and kissed him slowly, lips and tongues moulding together. He was warm and there was something about his kiss that calmed Edward, dulled the dread a bit. Edward thought it was because he knew now, he knew what was wrong with him and he found comfort in that.“I love you, Edward,” he mumbled against Edward’s lips, not needing an answer as Edward pressed his lips firmly back onto John’s. “What do you want?” He asked, making Edward’s heart stop. What did he want? He didn’t even know and if Edward was honest, he was just happy kissing.But John was going to fix him. Edward couldn’t be fixed if he shied away so he shrugged and mumbled a small “I don’t mind.” John laughed a small, breathy chuckle as he shook his head. Edward didn’t really know what was funny but John was kissing him again so he didn’t care.His hand went to the front of Edward’s onesie, fingers pulling on the zip and the air was so cold on Edward’s exposed skin.“If you really want me to stop, tell me. I won’t do anything you don’t want to do, okay Edward?”His voice was low and heavy and Edward knew he was already half hard. He had no idea how he got so excited so quickly without so much as a touch but Edward wished he could do that too.John kissed Edward’s neck and collarbones, lowering his head so he kissed down his belly and hips. It felt nice, kind of comforting like when he played with his hair or rubbed his back and as he pulled the rest of the onesie off his legs, Edward knew where his mouth would end up.“Just relax-” John said before pressing more kisses to his thighs. Edward wasn’t hard and he felt awkward, his cheeks hot and body tense.They had only tried this twice before, both times ended with Edward pushing John away because it was too embarrassing. This time was going to be different Edward told himself and as John’s lips finally pressed against him, Edward knew you couldn’t push him away. He pressed a few gentle chaste kisses to the base of Edward’s dick, his right hand stroking him slowly. He couldn’t see what John was doing, choosing to keep his eyes firmly closed. Edward was worried that he opened them and looked, he would break the spell and ruin everything by freaking out.He was starting to get hot and flustered; his breaths were short and he could feel the nerves come alive in his body. His hips pushed up against John’s hand, seeking more. John shifted and Edward felt a sudden wet warmth surround him. His eyes flew open and connected with John’s straight away as he sucked Edward’s dick into his mouth. Edward closed his eyes again trying his hardest not to overthink and to just enjoy it.It felt good; warm and wet and one hundred times better than when John was using his hand. Edward briefly wondered how it felt to actually go all the way and be inside of John but the thought alone overwhelmed him.Edward wasn’t sure, it must have only been a matter of seconds before he was coming, too sudden to even warn John. He still didn’t look but he could feel John’s mouth surrounding him the whole time. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth as he quietly whimpered, his eyes squeezed shut and his hips twitching. It was quick and John was soon pulling off, leaving Edward tired and boneless.When Edward finally opened his eyes, John was sitting up and grinning at him. He was very obviously hard and just as Edward’s eyes caught him, he said: “you don’t have to, don’t worry.” Edward felt guilty that John had done all that for him with nothing in return but he mostly felt relieved. He knew he wouldn’t be able to and he wanted to keep the nice feeling running through his body for as long as possible.“I love you,” John said as he leant down to kiss Edward’s lips. Edward received the kiss gratefully, his hands coming up to hold John’s shoulders, trying to keep him close.“I love you too,” Edward told him when John pulled away. “Thank you,” he added sheepishly, avoiding John’s stare.“You’re more than welcome,” John laughed, pecking Edward’s cheek, “we will sort this out. You’ll be okay.”He flopped down next to Edward, turning to face him. Edward turned towards him and they both smiled. This was it, Edward thought, what a real relationship should be like. He wanted to tell John, tell him how he felt but he was tired and he soon felt his eyes closing as he drifted off to sleep under John’s stare.•The cake was horrible and John looked devastated so Edward ate most of it with a smile, commenting on how nice it was every now and then. He suspected that John knew he was lying but John brightened up and looked pleased with himself nevertheless.By the time Edward had woken up, it was late in the evening and he felt bad that he had spent most of the day sleeping. John was picking at a bit of leftover cake when Edward said it, out of the blue. John had chocked on his mouthful of cake and looked at Edward like he was speaking Russian.“What?” John asked after a while and Edward suddenly felt nervous, worried that John was opposed to the idea. He didn’t want to say it again, especially because now the words were planned. Before, he just said them without thinking about it, this time, he knew what he was getting into.“Erm…” Edward looked back at the cake and considered shoving the rest of it in his mouth because awful tasting cake was the better option right now. “Can I… Y'know?” Edward looked at John and back at the cake as he spat out “suck your dick.” His cheeks were burning red and he just wanted to die. He stuffed a bit of cake into his mouth, hoping he would choke to death. But he didn’t, so he guessed he had to look back at John, who looked even more confused than before.“If you don’t want to-”“I want to!” John’s words made Edward jump, they were so loud and sudden. “It’s just, do you want to?”“Yeah,” Edward said, “I was thinking about it earlier and I want to learn. It felt so good and I want you to feel that good too.” John went back to looking shocked and Edward was fast going off the idea. He wanted to do something for John but also learn it himself. John was right, he had to get past this, recondition his brain and this was how.“Okay-” John breathed, looking nervous.“Why are you nervous?” Edward asked, feeling stressed by the whole thing already.John shrugged as he met Edward’s eyes. “I dunno, I don’t want you to do it if you don’t want to.”Edward took a step towards him and smiled. John was always so ready to put Edward’s feelings and needs before his own. “I do John, promise.”John sprung forward and kissed Edward passionately. It was hot and needy and all Edward could think about was what John would taste like down there. He wondered if it was a different taste or the same comforting taste of John.He broke the kiss and pulled on John’s tracksuit bottoms as he lowered himself to the floor. John looked wild; his hair was sticking up and his eyes were wide and glassy as he stared down at him.Edward lowered his eyes and licked his lips, unsure what the hell his next move was supposed to be. Was he supposed to just put it in his mouth? John had kissed him, built it up and touched him but this felt different because John was already getting hard. He briefly wondered how on earth John was always so ready, so quick to react but Edward had to concentrate so reminded himself to ask John later.He wrapped his right around the base of his dick and felt himself blush furiously. He didn’t look up at John, couldn’t face it and Edward wondered if he should ask. But asking would be stupid, you don’t ask someone to help you through sucking their dick.So he moved closer, licking his lips again for good measure. The slightest touch against Edward’s lips and he was jumping back like he had been burned. He didn’t mean to and John was saying something along the lines of 'you don’t have to’ but he was determined to do it.Edward closed his eyes, opened his mouth and forced himself forward. He only got the tip in his mouth because it was more difficult than it looked and he wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to get more in. John made a small noise and it spurred him on, made him feel like he could do it, that John was liking it.He gave an experimental suck and John made a louder sound above him so he went with it, repeating the sucking motions. Edward’s brain was almost melting, it was working in overdrive. He had no idea what he was supposed to be doing and he felt awkward and embarrassed.He leant back, letting John fall from between his lips before saying “I’m doing it wrong aren’t I?” And finally looking up at John.Edward was quite surprised by John’s appearance. His eyes were blown, lips red and bitten and hands gripping the edge of the kitchen counter so hard, his knuckles were white.“You’re doing good Ed.” His voice was hushed and low and Edward felt a bolt of confidence run through him.“Really?”“Yeah, you just need to…” John took a shaky before saying “move a bit.” Edward frowned at him, his newfound confidence dissolving. “it’s just… It’s…” John bit his lip and released it as he thought. “Too much.”“Too much?” Edward repeated, his embarrassment levels close to killing him altogether.“Yeah, it’s too sensitive there,” John explained, “it gets too much.”Edward nodded and looked back at his dick. He chewed his lip and tried to make a plan but he didn’t know how he was going to do it. He didn’t want John to be uncomfortable; that was the opposite of what this was for.He leant forward again, moving forward more once John was in his mouth and he found that he could fit more in his mouth, just not as comfortably. He couldn’t breathe as easy and had to come up for air and that’s when he found a rhythm, found a way to do it.Edward could hear John moaning and he desperately wanted him to like what he was doing. He wanted John to feel like he had when John had done this for him.He didn’t sink down enough to gag or choke, didn’t dare and he had just got into it when John hit him twice on the shoulder, mumbling something that Edward didn’t understand.He came a second afterwards and Edward gagged, flying back to avoid it. The rest of it ended up on his chin and chest and Edward was silently grossed out. He had stopped touching John altogether and felt bad because John had stroked and sucked him the whole way through his climax.“Fuck-” John breathed, his cheeks pink.Edward stood up, wiping his face on his sleeve and cringing. “Sorry I let go, it’s just-”His words were cut off by John’s lips crashing onto his, hard and rough. He kissed back, one hand holding the back of his head, keeping him in place. “I love you,” John whispered through kisses, making Edward giggle.“I love you too,” he smiled, leaning back to look at John’s face. “Next time it’ll be better.”“You were perfect, you are perfect,” John said, kissing him once more. Edward’s cheeks were still pink but he could handle that. It was worth the embarrassment and awkwardness because he was safe with John, comfortable with John but more importantly; loved by John.•“How do you feel?” John asked out of the blue that night. Edward was just starting to drift off after they had said their final goodnights a while ago. Edward’s back was facing John but he felt him turn around to face Edward as he asked. Edward guessed that the emphasis on the word 'feel’ meant that John was not just asking how he felt in general.“Good,” Edward mumbled, hoping that would satisfy John and he would settle back down.“Are you doing okay?” John whispered back. Edward opened his eyes and turned himself around to see John’s face.It was very dark and Edward couldn’t really see him but he could make out his shape. “I’m fine, what brought this on?” He asked, finding John’s hand under the covers and holing it.“I was just thinking,” John answered but Edward knew there was more to it.“About?” Edward asked, feeling the last bit of sleepiness leave him. He was more concerned with John’s feelings now.“How come you’re so quiet?” John asked before adding, “whenever we do stuff. You’re silent.”Edward shifted and turned his head so he wasn’t looking at John. He knew John couldn’t see him in the darkness but he still felt his stare.“It’s embarrassing.” He stated simply. John huffed out a small laugh and Edward felt stupid and he thought he was doing so well. “It’s not funny,” he snapped as he turned around back to his original sleeping position.“I’m not laughing,” John defended, running his palm over Edward’s back. “I’m not, but it’s just a bit funny because it’s only me Ed, you can’t be embarrassed.”Edward didn’t answer because he couldn’t explain it. He didn’t know why he found it awkward but he did. What was he supposed to do, moan like some kind of pornstar? But John did when Edward gave him a blowjob and he didn’t sound ridiculous, he sounded nice; Edward liked it.“Edward?” John poked him in the back and when he didn’t answer, he poked him twice more.“I don’t know, I’ll sound stupid,” he said, turning to lay on his back to stop John digging his finger in again.“No, you won’t!” John almost sounded offended and Edward couldn’t help but smile at his gasped words. “I can’t think of a better sound, and I can’t help but think about how you would sound…”“Really?” Edward smiled through a fiery blush. It sounded crazy to Edward that John would lust after him. He couldn’t understand why; there was nothing sexy about him at all.“Yeah,” John said and Edward could hear his smile. “Of course I do.”Edward laughed again, falling silent when he felt John’s lips on his neck. He dotted kisses over his neck and jawline, kissing his cheek once before dropping back down to his neck.Edward’s breath hitched and without realising it, his hand had wrapped around the back of John’s neck, running up through his hair and keeping him firmly in place. “I want to hear you, Ed,” John mumbled before nipping at his pause point. “I want to make you moan, to hear you say my name…”Edward huffed out a breath. John’s words were making him feel things and he was excited at the thought of getting excited. It rarely happened without John working for it and here he was, just taking and kissing him and Edward could feel it.“John, I-” Edward didn’t really know to finish that sentence. Didn’t know if you were supposed to actually tell the person you’re with that that you’re getting hard. But John seemed to understand as his hand found the front of Edward’s pyjama bottoms and palmed him slowly.Edward bit his lip and let out a long shaky breath. “I want to hear you Edward-” John mumbled, leaning down to suck the side of Edward’s neck. He bit down and Edward tightly sealed his lips on reflex. John’s hand gripped him through his bottoms but Edward was too worried about making noise to enjoy it.He tried to open his mouth, to breathe and relax but he was self-conscious.“Just do it, let go-” John hushed, moving to the next spot of flesh to kiss. Edward huffed out a breath, parting his lips but not making any sounds. He couldn’t, didn’t dare.“Can I try something new?” John asked suddenly, leaning up to look at Edward, even though he couldn’t see him in the dark. Edward nodded and quickly added a whispered “okay”.“Take off your pyjamas,” John said before his weight left the bed, all contact lost. Edward heard him removing his clothes and he quickly did the same. He had no idea what John wanted to do and it made him nervous. John got back onto the bed and kissed him again, his hand going right back to stroking him. Edward closed his eyes and opened his mouth in a silent moan, sucking in a long breath.“Okay,” John whispered, “I’m going to use my fingers.”“For what?” Edward asked without thinking. The answer suddenly dawned on him an all he could do was say: “oh.”John huffed out another little laugh and kissed him quickly. “You don’t have to, we can do something else.”“No, no it’s cool,” Edward said, his brain trying to work out how it was all going to work. Did John want him on all fours? Would he have to do anything to prepare?“Sure?” John asked, moving around in the darkness. Edward was glad that he couldn’t see him because he could just imagine what his face looked like. He was nervous and bright red and he was thankful for the dark for John’s benefit this time.“Yeah, tell me what to do.” Edward waited for a few moments before John was still and focusing on him again. He stroked him more firmly, pausing to lick his hand before bringing it back.“Just lay there and-” John let go of his hold to gently push Edward’s knees up so the heels of his feet were almost pressed against his arse. He put a hand on each knee and slowly opened his legs, spreading them so Edward was laying butterfly and that really got Edward burning up. He felt so exposed, even in the dark.“I’m going to use the lotion, I bought some that smells like strawberries.”“Oh-” Edward said, not really knowing how to make conversation while in this position.“It’ll just be one finger, to begin with, and I won’t add another until you’re ready,”Edward nodded and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the intrusion. John brought a slick finger between his arse cheeks and started stroking him again using his other hand. Edward was momentarily impressed with his multitasking skills until John pushed, slipping his index finger inside and making Edward gasp.“Okay?” He whispered, sounding nervous himself. “Okay, Edward?”Edward nodded again, not able to find his words. It felt strange but not horrible.“Edward? Is this okay?” John asked again and Edward knew he had to speak so mumbled a quick “yes.”John Slowly moved his finger, pulling it almost fully out before pushing again all the way in. Edward’s mouth hung open as he concentrated on the feel of John’s hands. It was nice and dirty and Edward was actually fully hard and turned on which he silently celebrated.“Let me hear-” John said as he pushed his finger in again, harder this time. Edward made the tiniest little grunting sound by accident, making John whisper “good, relax” in return. It was so different and Edward didn’t know how to feel. He liked it, but it felt too intimate and he couldn’t fully enjoy the feeling.John bent his knuckle Inside of him and that felt new. It felt strangely nice and Edward felt himself relax into it. He chewed his bottom lip, silently squirming under John’s John’s touch.John moved his hand and bent a finger and it was like setting off a firework. Edward heard himself cry out, his voice raspy and loud in the quiet room but he couldn’t care, all he could focus on was the pleasure running through his body.John said something Edward didn’t hear before brushing his finger over the same spot. Edward didn’t know what to do with himself, all he could feel was waves of pleasure that were different than anything he’d felt. He closed his eyes and let out a low groan, unable to stifle any noise now.  John groaned in response and it made Edward smile. He quite liked the idea of John getting off to touching him, hearing him so he took a shaky breath and groaned out a hushed “John”, extending the 'o’ sound.John shifted and covered Edward’s lips with his own, his fingers still in place, touching that spot every other thrust. It was all getting too much for Edward, he could feel his climax approaching, John’s lips swallowing his whimpers and moans.It all happened so suddenly and without John even touching his dick, Edward was coming- loudly.He gasped and cried out, shouting John’s name, moaning and whimpering and he had never felt so liberated and free. It spurred him on and he knew he was getting louder but didn’t care as John kept rubbing the spot through his orgasm.When Edward opened his eyes, he could feel the rhythmic jerks of John touching himself next to him and propped himself up. He felt dazed and slightly dizzy but pushed it aside as he pulled John’s hand away and replaced it with his own. John hummed as Edward tightened his fist and picked up the pace.John was louder than he usually was and Edward loved it. He had a newfound appreciation for it and listening to John’s moans was like listening to the best song ever made, for his ears only.“That was fun,” John said after a few minutes of laying in silence. “That was really fun.”Edward laughed and nodded as he took hold of John’s hand. “That was crazy,” he laughed, only blushing a bit. He didn’t dare imagine what it would feel like if John used something else rather than his fingers.“Good job there are no neighbours, I think we would’ve woken them up,” John said before they both laughed.“I loved it,” Edward admitted, “there’s no shutting me up now John.”“Good.” They fell back into silence, sleepiness creeping back into Edward’s bones. He was spent and felt like he needed to sleep for at least three days to recover. John wriggled around to settle down for the night, his hand still clasped with Edward’s as they settled into sleep.•John was awake before Edward, sitting up on one elbow and watching him. Edward opened his eyes, looking straight up at him. He was tired and hadn’t shaken the sleep away fully when John leant down to kiss him and it was purely a reflex when Edward dodged the kiss, his hand shooting out and lightly pushing against John’s chest, keeping him at arm’s length.Edward fully woke up the second it had happened so he didn’t miss the hurt all over John’s face. “Sorry-” he mumbled as he sat up to look at John, who was moving away, turning his back towards Edward.“It’s okay, don’t worry.” John’s legs were out of the bed and he was standing up as he spoke. His voice was flat and Edward knew it wasn’t okay, especially after the night before.“John, I was confused. I was half asleep and-”“It’s okay,” he said, turning to look at Edward once before saying “I’m going to have a shower and then we’ll have breakfast.”Edward watched him leave, feeling sad and disappointed. He didn’t mean to flinch away and it was nothing to do with John, he just reacted on instinct. He laid back and thought about the night before and how happy he was, how happy John was and now he’s ruined it. Edward knew he had to speak to him, it was their last day and he didn’t want their weekend away to end badly.He got up and let himself into the bathroom without knocking. John was leaning over the sink shaving, stopping to look at Edward through the mirror. Edward offered a small smile which John returned before he went back to shaving. “Are you mad?” Edward ventured, shifting his weight to lean against the door frame.“No, I said it’s fine Edward. Don’t worry.” John flicked his eyes to him in the mirror as he ran the razor down his cheek.“What’s the matter then?” Edward watched him for a moment before John turned around to look at him. He had caught himself shaving and had started to bleed a bit just under his bottom lip.“We’ve had so much fun and I’m happy for you but-” John paused, swiping his hand over his chin and wiping away the blood.“What?” Edward prompted, taking a step forward into the bathroom. John looked uncomfortable, almost nervous but Edward could definitely see that he was upset.“It’s me isn’t it?” He finally said, “you still can’t look at me when we do stuff, your natural reaction this morning was to avoid me.”“I didn’t avoid you, John,” Edward said quickly, taking another step towards him. “I hadn’t woken up properly and you surprised me, that’s all.”John turned back to the mirror to splash some water onto his face, rinsing away any leftover soap and the small amount of blood on his chin. Edward watched him, desperately wanting John to smile and tell him it’s okay, to laugh, to pull him in for a kiss or a cuddle. He knew telling John the truth would hurt him and this proved that. He hadn’t forgotten about it like Edward had hoped and he obviously took it more to heart than he let Edward know.“I’m sorry-” Edward mumbled, looking at his bare feet. They were wet where John insisted on getting water literally everywhere whenever he bathed, but Edward never minded; he would always mop up after him. “I’m sorry I moved away, I’m sorry I’m so difficult and I’m sorry that I even told you because you’re upset.”“You don’t need to be sorry Edward,” John said as he faced him again. His voice and face were softer now but he was still upset. “It’s not your fault, I know that.”“I really do love you.” Edward reached out and took John’s hand in his. He was grateful for the contact, he loved being next to John, to touch him and know he’s there.“I know you do,” John said, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “And I love you.”Edward leant forward, resting his body weight against him and pressing a firm kiss to his lips. He needed John to know that he was better, he wanted to kiss him, to fool around and have sex.The thought hit Edward like a train. He felt his skin burn up as the words played in his head. He wanted to have sex with John. Full sex, proper sex and he wanted the lights on so he could look at John.He pulled away, his eyes meeting John’s and all he could think about was what he would like while Edward fucked him. While he fucked Edward. He wasn’t sure which way he liked the thought of most.“What?” John asked, “why are you looking at me like that?”Edward broke into a smile but didn’t answer, he just pressed another to John’s lips as he slid his hands up and down his bare back.John grunted as Edward kissed him deeper, his hands pushing John’s body further into his own. Edward could taste the soap that John shaved with but it didn’t matter, as long as John kept kissing him, Edward was happy.John took a few slow steps, guiding Edward backwards as they kissed. He knew John would stop and ask Edward what he wanted or if he wanted to continue so Edward broke the kiss, took John’s hands and pulled him into the bedroom.“Edward-” John breathed, his small voice surprised at the sudden shift in Edward’s behaviour.“I really do want you, John,” Edward whispered as he gently pushed John so he was sitting on the bed. “It’s not you, I know it isn’t. This morning made me realise that it’s never been because of you, it was always me. But you’ve shown me how to have fun-” Edward paused and sat next to him, hands holding John’s tightly.“I want to have sex.” Edward quickly said before adding “with you… Obviously”John looked back at him with wide eyes. He was surprised, Edward could tell but he could also see that John was excited. He must be desperate, Edward thought and mumbled: “you’ve been so patient.” John opened his mouth to speak as he shook his head but Edward got in first. “You’ve waited years John.”“But that’s okay,” John quickly said, “I don’t mind. Don’t do it because you think you need to.”Edward smiled as he leant forward to kiss John again. “I want to,” he mumbled against John’s lips. John kissed him harder and Edward felt a jolt of excitement. This was it, everything had built up to this and Edward was finally fixed. He felt the urge to giggle but John’s lips were dominating his so he couldn’t; he just kissed him back.John put his hands on Edward’s shoulders and gently pushed him back so he was laying, his legs hanging off the bed. John moved to kneel beside him, bending over him to kiss his neck and chest. He was hesitant and Edward could see that he was nervous.Edward lightly pushed John away to allow himself room to wriggle up the bed so he was resting on the pillows. He held John’s arms and pulled him on top of him, John’s weight hot against his body. It felt familiar and safe, warm and comforting; It was just John and Edward loved him.“Which way do you wanna do it?” John asked as he pulled back to look at Edward’s face. Edward wasn’t sure, he wanted to know how it would feel to have John inside of him, hitting that spot again and again. John knew how to do it, he reasoned, he proved that the night before with his fingers. Edward couldn’t do that without John teaching him and he didn’t think now was the right time for lessons so he mumbled a quick “fuck me”.John almost growled at Edward’s words before leaning down to kiss him again, wet and fast.Edward grunted and bucked his hips up against John, thanking the stars that he was already naked.John dipped his head to suck on a spot of skin on Edward’s neck, his hips grinding down against Edward’s. He felt himself heat up but Edward thought that this time, it was because of arousal, not embarrassment. He thought about the night before and how keen John was to hear Edward and how exciting it was to be vocal. He let out a quiet moan as John bit down and he heard John let out a deep moan in return.John’s hand slid down Edward’s body before he gripped him firmly and started stroking him. Edward groaned, arching his back and pressing further into John. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer so Edward pulled on John’s arm, making John let go of him before bringing his hand up to his face. Edward sucked in two of John’s fingers, twirling his tongue around them and mimicking what he had done when he had given John that blowjob.John’s eyes burned into him, his bottom lip between his teeth and cheeks pink.Edward pulled John’s fingers from his mouth and guided them back down his body, passing his hard cock as he opened his legs- just how John had positioned him the night before. John didn’t waste any time as he entered Edward quickly and started bending his finger, moving it quickly and finding that spot almost straight away.Edward gasped and moaned, desperate for more, desperate for John. “You’re beautiful,” John told him, his voice low and hushed as if he was telling Edward a secret. Edward smiled up at him, taking his image in so he could remember this moment forever. How could he have pushed John away for all those years? He couldn’t believe what he had been missing out on but more importantly, Edward couldn’t believe how much he had been hurting John. Although John had always denied it, Edward knew he had hurt his feelings; he just loved Edward too much to tell him.“I love you, John.”“I love you, Edward.”John’s fingers were suddenly gone as he reached for some lotion and Edward watched him squirt a handful into his palm before slicking himself up with it. He suddenly felt nervous, an excited kind of nervousness that made him want to laugh and run at the same time. He didn’t know what to expect other than pain but he knew it wouldn’t hurt for long. He knew John wouldn’t hurt him.“Ready?” John whispered, the same nervous- excitement reflecting in his eyes. Edward gave a nod, not taking his eyes off John’s. He watched John’s face as he lined himself up and pushed in slowly. Edward’s mouth opened in a silent gasp, his body tensing and breath taken. It burned and it felt too tight, too much but then John was fully inside and not moving and it felt slightly better.“Okay? Does it hurt?” John asked, his eyes full of worry.“Yeah-” Edward breathed, “but it’s good, it’s okay.”Edward breathed a long slow breath, feeling himself relax around John. He could see John was barely holding on so grunted “move” while tapping John’s arm. John wasn’t going to last, Edward could tell and he wanted it to be good for him.He pulled out slightly before pushing back in and Edward was surprised that it wasn’t awful. The burn was there and he still felt the strange 'full’ feeling but it was okay. John repeated his tiny movements a few times before building it up until he was pulling out almost the whole way. His thrusts were getting harder and faster and Edward couldn’t think, couldn’t concentrate on anything other than these new feelings and the closeness of it all.“I love you so much,” John whispered, his right hand wrapping around Edward’s cock. Edward moaned and opened his mouth to return the words when John angled his hips differently and hit that spot, making Edward cry out.He gripped onto John who repositioned himself so he could hit that spot with almost every snap of his hips. Edward couldn’t take it, between John’s thrusts and his hand, Edward was soon coming undone, shouting John’s name up to the skies.John finished first, his hips stuttering and a long stream of Edward’s name and little moans falling from his open mouth. Edward could feel it and it added to the hotness, to his own building realise. “Fuck Edward,” John whispered, leaning over to rest his forehead against Edward’s shoulder, his hips picking up the pace again. “You’re all I’ve ever wanted, all I will ever want,” he continued, his hand twisting and pumping faster. “I love you, I love you so much and I always will…”Edward came with a long shout, drowning out John’s words as he continued touching him through his climax. Every nerve in his body felt like fire and Edward never wanted it to end, could stay in this moment forever.When he opened his eyes, John had pulled out and was laying half on top of Edward, half on the bed. He was hot and sticky but so was Edward, so it didn’t matter.They both lay in silence, listening to each other’s heavy breathing. Edward turned his head to face John, who was looking back at him with a lazy smile. “Okay?”Edward grinned and nodded, feeling a little sore as he turned his body towards John’s. His thighs hurt from where his knees were pushed up to his chest and there was a dull ache coming from his arse. He didn’t mind so didn’t tell John.“I love you.” Edward kissed John’s lips slowly before shifting himself closer so their bodies were touching. He snuggled into him and listened to John’s breathing even out as he too fell asleep.•By the time they had woken up and eaten, it was time for them to leave. Edward felt a little bad that they didn’t go on many walks to explore the beautiful countryside that surrounded them. But he was more focused on being surrounded by John and that was just as beautiful, he reasoned.The return journey wasn’t as bad as before. Edward had slept on the bus then again on the train, leaving John board and alone. Not that he complained.In between sleeping, Edward worried that going back home would bring back all his problems. He was happy in their own little bubble in the middle of nowhere, just him and John. What if going home broke him again? He would look at John with worried eyes and John would smile, a smile only they knew the meaning of and Edward would relax again for the time being.John comforted Edward even when he didn’t know he was doing it and Edward loved him for it. He wished he could kiss him but settled on putting his hand on John’s knee hidden by Edward’s coat that was laying across his lap.“Finally-” John moaned as he opened their front door and thew down the bags. “Let’s order some food, are you hungry?”Edward nodded and shut the door, taking a moment to scan the familiar surroundings. He suddenly missed the little old lady cottage.“What’s up?” John asked as he watched him move away from the door and into the kitchen.“Nothing. Tea?” Edward started filling the kettle but John stopped him, his eyes burning into Edward’s. “What if coming home ruins everything?” Edward said, “what if things go back to how they were?”John looked at him for a second before leaning in for a kiss. Edward received it gratefully, thankful for the contact.“See?” John smiled, “the same.”Edward nodded and carried on filling the kettle. “Forget the tea, why don’t we put it to the test?” John said as he spun Edward around to face him. He had a wicked smile on his lips that effected Edward way more than it should. John smirked and took him by the hand, leading him into the bedroom.“Anyway, it’s your turn-”John said casually as he undone Edward’s jeans. Edward pulled them down his thighs with a frown, asking “for what?”John was taking off his own jeans when he looked at Edward, his smile widening as he said: “it’s your turn to fuck me.”Edward paused, letting that sink into his brain, but more importantly, John’s words went straight to his crotch. He watched John undress before laying on the bad, looking up at him with a sparkle in his eyes.Any worry Edward had was completely forgotten about as he lunged forward, connecting his and John’s lips in a heated kiss as he laid on top of him.“Remember though,” John said as Edward pulled away to look at him. “We have neighbours, so no screaming.” Edward laughed and leant down to kiss John’s neck. He wasn’t sure if John heard him mumbling a quiet “I can’t promise that.”

[area50dununiverse]

Can we get some angsty smut where Edward feels like it's sick and wrong to fancy John but eventually he admits it to him promising he was gonna get help etc for being sick but John feels the same way and convinces him it's fine but he still can't be physically romantic/sexual with John bc he thinks it's sick and won't kiss or touch him but eventually decided to bite the bullet and have sex with him but he's so scared and upset and John reassures him the whole way through and praises him loads

Hello Lovely person! This is a long one with a slow burn and there are parts I’m not sure about… (but if you follow me, you’ll know how much I hate my own writing lol)

I really hope you enjoy, and although I may take 5 years to fill it, prompt me anytime!! Read below as always…

Edward took a deep breath and stepped into the church. The gold candle holders were the first thing to catch his eye, positioned under a big stained glass window that cast rainbows over the floor.He felt sick and tried to take a deep breath but the air around him felt musty in the old building.

He didn’t know why he was even there. He felt out of place somehow; as if the walls themselves were judging him, the many statues and paintings of Jesus bearing down on him.Typical Catholics, Edward couldn’t help but think, even the foundations of the church fill you with guilt.

He was just about to turn back and leave when Father James stepped out of a little side room. “Can I help you?” He smiled, always welcoming, never sincere.  Edward gave him a polite smile, just about to make his excuses and leave when he spoke again. “You’re one of the Grimes twins,” he smiled cheerfully, “I remember when you two were born, far too early, we prayed for you every mass that you’ll make it through. Now look at you!”

Edward fake smiled, not wanting to think about being a twin, let alone talk about it. He wanted to forget John just for a little while, which was ironic considering talking about John was what lead him here.

“How can help young man?” Father James smiled again. Edward wanted to leave but was far too polite to leave a priest hanging.“I just came to-” Edward cut off. What did he come to do? He couldn’t tell him, couldn’t tell anyone. “Think.” He finished, hoping he would be left alone.Father James nodded and gave him a questioning look before asking, “is there anything you need to talk about? You look troubled.”

Edward scoffed. He didn’t mean too, but he couldn’t help but think that if Father James knew the truth, he wouldn’t be so kind.A thought came to him then. Maybe he could talk to him, discussing his problem by talking about a ‘friend’ in need.“Do you think love can be wrong?” Edward asked, knowing full well where the church stood on this argument. “Like, if a boy loves another boy, how can it be wrong; if it’s love? Love is supposed to be some beautiful thing, who cares if it’s two boys?”

That was it; kind, understanding face replaced with narrow, questioning eyes. “My friend, he loves someone that he shouldn’t. He knows it’s sick, and he’s tried but he can’t help it.” Edward shifted his weight from foot to foot. He hoped he didn’t look too guilty.“Is it your brother?” after James asked and Edward’s heart sank. How did he know? How did he know what Edward was talking about? He felt his cheeks heat up, his eyes wide and there was that sick feeling again.

“If your brother is confused about love, he should come in to see me,” father James said, “you’re a good brother.”Edward felt light-headed with relief. He didn’t know.“No, I’m not,” he mumbled, taking a few steps back. “I shouldn’t have come.” Edward turned and walked the few steps towards the door. He felt like crying.“I won’t tell anyone, but please ask him to come and speak to me?” Edward heard father James call as he rushed out, the fresh air and sunlight hitting him.

He didn’t stop, just kept walking until he found himself outside his gate. He looked up at the house and wondered what John was doing inside. Edward had only said he was going to the shop for snacks, that was over an hour ago and here he was, not a snack in sight. John would guess something was wrong and Edward’s secret would come out. That was his fear, constantly scared, terrified that John would guess, somehow working it all out.Edward would lay awake at night and imagine what John might say. He wasn’t a mean person, John was the kindest person Edward knew but in his mind, John would always fly off. He would shout and sneer and tell Edward that he was sick and he didn’t want him anywhere near him.

“Where have you been?” John asked as soon as Edward opened the front door. “You’ve been ages, I was worried.” Edward avoided looking at him as he walked through the living room into the kitchen.“Where’s mum and dad?” He asked, ignoring John’s question altogether.“Shopping,” he told him as he followed him through the house. Edward could feel his eyes on him as he went about making a drink of orange juice.“What’s wrong?” John asked, making Edward hesitate for the slightest of seconds. He didn’t know what to say. There was no point in trying to lie to John because he knew Edward better than anyone and could always see through him. But he couldn’t tell him the truth.

“I don’t feel too well,” he mumbled, hiding his face behind his glass as he took a drink.John’s brow furrowed as he looked at him, his green eyes scanning him over like he could detect any sign of illness just by looking. “You’ve been like this for ages now,” John told him, watching him closely.“Like what?” Edward tried to act normal, tried to look like he wasn’t hiding something.“Miserable,” came John’s answer, making Edward’s heart sink and his stomach twist.

He turned to look at John for the first time, meeting his sad eyes. He didn’t want to drag him down and hated to see John worrying about him. He wanted to smile, to tell him that he was okay, everything is fine and perfect, but he couldn’t and suddenly he was crying. His chest was tight and he couldn’t fill his lungs. Everything happened so quickly and before he knew it, Edward was wrapped tightly in John’s arms. He wanted to push him away, tell him not to touch him because if he knew the truth, he wouldn’t want to touch him, but John was Edward’s twin and he felt comforted and reassured with him. Edward needed him.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” John said, pulling away and searching Edward’s tearful eyes for answers. Edward looked back him, conscious of how close they were. If he was to inch forward, their lips would meet and that was all Edward could think about. He wanted to kiss those lips, spent hours, days at a time imagining how it would feel to have John’s lips pressed against his own.He closed his eyes, trying to block him out, trying to make himself think about anything in this world other than John.

The sound of the front door startled him as their parents arrived home, calling for someone to help them unload the car. Edward opened his eyes and looked desperately at John, just needing him to let go and leave him.John gave him another worried look before finally stepping away and walking out of the kitchen. Edward let out a shaky breath as more tears fell. He needed to hide himself away before his parents saw him in a state so he quickly headed upstairs, leaving John to help them with the shopping.

Edward managed to fall asleep. He didn’t know what the time was when he felt John gently shake him awake. All his life, John had been the first thing Edward had seen when he woke. It was comforting to know he was there, as always, dependable and grounding. Things had started to change in the last few years and suddenly Edward couldn’t bring himself to look at John in the mornings anymore. He was scared because of how it made him feel, and as Edward looked up at him, John’s hand lightly resting on his shoulder and those eyes, looking down at him, Edward felt like he couldn’t breathe again.“I’m going to tell mum if you don’t tell me what’s wrong,” John said sternly.“Please don’t?” Edward snapped, his eyes pleading with his brother. He didn’t want anyone involved, they would drag his secret out of him and then everyone would know how sick he was.“Then talk to me!” John’s grip on Edward’s shoulder tightened. He was upset and Edward didn’t know how to make it better.

“I went to church,” Edward admitted, looking away from John. He watched a bird land on the tree outside of their window instead.“Why?” John asked, his grip loosening a little. Edward watched the bird flit from branch to branch for a moment. It was chirping and Edward wondered if it had a nest. Maybe the little thing was calling its family, maybe it was just happy and wanted to sing. “Ed?”Edward looked back at John and shrugged. He didn’t have a reason, couldn’t make one up. He was never a good liar. “Just did.” Edward’s voice was small and distant, his face expressionless. He didn’t want to feel anything, tried to push it all down and suppress it as always.

“Why would you go to church without mum making you?” John persisted. He could never just drop it, always wanting answers.“Because I’m sick-” Edward said, his voice cracking as he started to cry again. John’s grip tightened again, almost too hard on Edward’s shoulder.“Sick?” He frowned, “why? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is it serious? Edward?” John was almost crying now, his voice high and panicked but Edward couldn’t speak, couldn’t comfort him. He wanted John to hug him and to tell him everything was okay but he knew he couldn’t. Edward knew he couldn’t hug John like he used to in these situations because it only made things worse.“You’re scaring me,” John whispered, his eyes desperately searching Edward’s.“I asked him if love could be wrong,” Edward told him, “you know? like if you love someone, really love them, how can it wrong?” He rambled, too caught up in his feelings to stop himself. “But it is wrong and I don’t know what to do.”“Who do you love Edward?” John shifted on the bed, turning his body towards Edward’s, his hands coming up to cup his face, and forcing Edward to look at him. It was all too much, Edward’s world was spinning and he didn’t know what to do.

Edward got up and paced the floor, running his hands through his hair. “Edward, tell me,” John said as he watched him from the bed. Edward couldn’t think of anything to say. He wanted to tell John not to worry and just forget it but it had gone too far. “Edward!” John shouted, jumping to his feet, “who do you love?”

“You!” Edward finally shouted, spinning around to face him. Everything seemed to stop as Edward met John’s eyes. He felt like he couldn’t breathe and the longer John stood frozen, his eyes wide and lips parted, Edward felt like he was suffocating. The room spun around him and he could swear he could hear his heartbeat.

“Me?” John breathed, finally breaking the silence.“I’m getting help, I’ll go back to church or find another way-”“Don’t,” John softly interrupted, taking a tiny step towards Edward. Edward subconsciously stepped back, backing away from him. “You’re not sick.”Edward looked at his feet before looking back at up John. How could he say that? Edward knew his feelings were wrong and nothing John could say would reassure him. Once it sunk it and John really thought about it, Edward would bet he wouldn’t be saying that. He’ll want him as far away as possible and Edward wouldn’t be able to cope with that.

“Please don’t hate me?” Edward cried, putting his face in his hands.“I couldn’t hate you,” John said, stepping closer.He pulled Edward towards him and before Edward could pull away, he was tightly wrapped in John’s arms. It felt nice, safe and familiar so Edward let himself melt against him, even if it was just for a moment.“I love you.” Edward heard John whisper from above him. “You’re not sick because I feel the same,” John added, confusing Edward.He pulled away and looked at him, searching his face for answers. This couldn’t be right, Edward thought, wondering if he misheard.“I’ve always loved you, Ed, it’s always been you and me,” John attempted a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “You should’ve told me, I didn’t think you felt this way.”

Edward stared at him, trying to make sense of it all. Did John feel the same? Edward couldn’t keep up with the speed of everything, his head hurt and he wasn’t sure what was happening.Before Edward could work it all out, warm lips were pressed on his. Edward’s heart stopped beating and his stomach twisted even more.This was all he had wanted for so long but he couldn’t stop the twisting in his stomach. “John-” Edward gently pushed him away and rested his palms against his chest. “I can’t do it.” Edward looked at John and swallowed down the sadness. He had spent so long telling himself how wrong it was, how sick he was to feel the way he did that he still believed it. He loved John more than anything in the world and he felt the same, yet Edward still couldn’t be happy.John looked at the floor and Edward wanted to pull him into a bone crushing hug, just like he would’ve done in the old days before things changed. He didn’t though, all he could do was just mumble a shaky “sorry”.

“It’s okay,” John looked at him with a smile, one that reassured Edward that everything was fine between them. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”“Let’s just-” Edward held John’s hands in his, his body relaxing a little. “Let’s just take it slow?”“Slow.” He nodded, his smile widening. “Wanna play Xbox?” John let go of Edward’s hands and turned to fiddle with the game conical, handing Edward a set of controllers and saying, “I’m having the first turn,” and just like that, everything was normal again.

Edward avoided John’s touch in the next few days. Every little touch felt too risky, too intense and Edward was sure someone would catch them and they would know.John would naturally rest a hand on Edward’s shoulder as he spoke or stand a little too close and Edward was sure people were judging them, putting two and two together.John would throw him a sad look that Edward hoped no one would notice but never he commented on his behaviour. Edward didn’t want to hurt him or offend him but all he could think about was what would happen if their secret got out. They would be separated and everyone would know how weird they were, how wrong it is to love your brother like that.

It was two weeks later when John turned to him, eyes blazing. “Why are you acting so strange?” He asked once their bedroom door was shut. Edward looked back at him, his t-shirt half way off as he paused his undressing, momentarily confused.“You act like I’m poison every time I go near you!” John snapped. Edward continued undressing in a bid to get his pyjamas on and go to bed. He tried not to look at John, to act casual but John just got more frustrated. “You tell me that you love me but you can’t even look at me?”Edward flicked his eyes up to John’s. He was sad and maybe a little angry and Edward felt guilty. He did love John, more than anything and hurting him was the last thing he ever wanted to do. “We’re brothers,” Edward mumbled, feeling too exposed as he stood in his underwear.John rolled his eyes, turning away from Edward as he started to take off his own clothes. Edward watched him for a second before saying a soft “I’m sorry.”“Don’t be,” John answered flatly, kicking off his jeans.“We’re taking it slow,” Edward said, unsure if he should step forward. He did anyway as John turned to face him. Their eyes met again and Edward desperately wanted to kiss him.

“There’s taking it slow Edward, and then there’s completely giving someone the cold shoulder.”“I didn’t mean to,” Edward said, “I’m scared someone will know. If they see us together, if we’re found out…” Edward took another step, standing almost toe to toe with John.“They won’t find out,” John whispered, his eyes flicking over Edward’s features.Edward didn’t know who moved first but as John’s lips met his, he was sure he was the instigator. John received the touch gratefully, pushing against Edward in an instant and Edward felt like time had stopped around him. It was his first proper kiss and Edward had never felt so perfect. John sighed against his lips, his hands coming around Edward’s waist and pulling him close.Edward leant into John’s body, his own arms reaching around John’s neck as he broke the kiss to look at him.

“See?” John whispered, “everything’s okay.” Edward smiled at him, letting a breathy giggle slip. He licked his bottom lip before asking “can I do it again?”“Like you have to ask-” John smiled before leaning into Edward again, their lips connecting.“I love you,” John mumbled when they parted, his eyes locked with Edward’s. Edward grinned, the words still sounding strange to his ears. All the times he had imagined John telling him that and he still couldn’t believe it was real.Edward was about to answer when someone knocked at their door, making him jump away from John.

“Aunt Marie has invited us over-” their mother said as she opened the door a little. “You’ll be okay for a few hours?”“Yeah, we’re going to bed soon,” John answered as Edward silently panicked out of sight. She nodded and promised that they wouldn’t be too late before leaving. Edward breathed a sigh of relief and looked at John. “She could’ve caught us.” “But she didn’t.” John sat on his bed and tapped the space beside him for Edward to join him.“It’s so wrong,” Edward stressed as he sat, feeling self-conscious in his underwear again. John frowned back at him without saying anything.

They sat on John’s bed, side by side, Edward’s mind running through the different scenarios of what could happen if they were caught.“We have the house to ourselves now,” John piped up, “no one can catch us now.”Edward sighed, looking at down at his thighs. He couldn’t look at John without feeling his kiss again and it made him feel a strange mixture of guilt and happiness. “You’re amazing Edward. Everything about you is amazing.”Edward scoffed at John’s words. He didn’t for one second agree with him.“I’m lucky to have you and I want to be with you. I want to hold your hand and kiss you, I want to…” John hesitated, making Edward look up at him. He didn’t need to say anything else, Edward knew what he meant and he wanted it too. He wanted all of it and as he looked at John, he forgot about everything he was worried about.

John kissed him again, slow and gentle like Edward was made of porcelain. Edward’s eyes slipped shut as he kissed John back, his hand coming up to cup his face. “It’s okay,” John whispered against his lips, “I promise, it’s okay.”Edward opened his mouth to let John deepen the kiss, finally tasting him.John grunted into his mouth as the kiss picked up the pace. Edward was panting and desperately kissing John, his body reacting to the intimacy.John’s hand came to rest on the top of his thigh, sending sparks through his body. He quickly pulled away, his eyes wide and heart beating too hard in his chest.

“We can’t,” Edward said, “we have to stop.”“Why?” John frowned, leaning in to place a kiss on Edward’s cheek.“Because-” John kissed along his jawline, his lips leaving a warm trail over his skin. “It’s wrong.”“No, it isn’t,” John told him, pressing a firm kiss to the point of Edward’s shoulder. John kissed Edward’s lips again, his hand inching up his thigh. Edward’s breath hitched as John’s hand cupped the front of his pants. “We can stop if you really want to?” John mumbled against his lips before gently biting his bottom lip and making Edward moan.Edward silently shook his head, his hips pressing up into John’s hand.

“It’s not wrong-” John whispered, “I’ll show you.” He gently pushed him, making Edward lay on his back. Edward watched him scatter kisses over his chest, his hand still frustratingly still, resting on the front of his pants.Edward hummed as John kissed a nipple before kissing his lips again. “You’re perfect,” John mumbled between kisses. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.” Edward arched his back into John, wanting him to touch him. “Do you want this?”Edward met John’s serious eyes. He knew John would stop as soon as Edward told him to but Edward didn’t want to stop, he needed more. More of John, more touching and just more.Edward silently nodded but John was shaking his head. “You need to tell me, Edward.”

“I want it-” Edward mumbled, “I want you.” At Edward’s words, John leant down to kiss him again, his hand dipping into his pants.Edward sucked in a sharp breath, pushing into John.John sat up and let his eyes run over Edward’s body. Edward felt self-conscious again, his cheeks turning pink and his eyes flicking away from John’s identical ones.“You’re beautiful,” John told him firmly, pulling his pants down his thighs. Edward kicked them off while watching John pull his own off before throwing them off to the side somewhere. Edward had seen John naked loads of times but this was different. He felt embarrassed and couldn’t look as John came closer, leaning over him to kiss him again.

Edward whined into John’s mouth as he took hold of him and started slowly stroking him. It felt good, so good and Edward was getting too worked up way too soon. He stopped kissing John, concentrating on breathing as John kissed his shoulders and collarbones.“I’ve thought about this for years…” John mumbled against his chest. “Imagined how you would taste, how you would sound, how you would feel against me.”Edward hummed again, unable to form words but John didn’t wait for an answer as he carried on, sitting up to look at Edward. “All those times I came thinking about you, and now… Here you are.”“Stop!” Edward snapped, batting John’s hand away from him. John quickly pulled his hand away, his eyes worried so Edward quickly added, “I don’t want to come too soon.”John broke into a smile, running his fingertips up and down his thigh.

“I want to have sex,” Edward told him, the words making his cheeks heat up.John looked back at him, a look of shock flashing across his features. “But I’m scared,” Edward added honestly.“We’ll go slow,” John told him gently, “and if you want to stop, we will.” He leant down to lick Edward’s pulse point before pressing a wet kiss there.“I’m sorry,” Edward mumbled, “for acting so off with you.”“It’s okay, you were scared,” John’s hand ran up his thigh, taking him into his hand again and stroking. Edward’s mouth hung open as John touched him, whispering sweet words as his other hand slipped between his thighs.Edward gasped as John’s fingers ran over his arse. “Do you know how to do this?” Edward grunted, his hips lifting off the bed so John could gain better access.“Yeah,” John answered confidently, “I’ve watched it loads of times.”Edward wordlessly nodded, his eyes falling closed as John’s hands touched him. Edward felt John move and opened his eyes to see him opening the bedside draw. He pulled out a tube and Edward suddenly felt nervous but then he was being kissed again and he couldn’t think about anything else but John.

John was gentle, careful and soft. Edward knew he could trust John, he felt safe with John, secure and relaxed as he worked his fingers.“You’re so good,” John whispered as he slipped in another finger. Edward hissed through his teeth and arched his back. There was a slight burn but it wasn’t too bad. He had often thought about doing this to himself but never had the courage to actually do it. It was intrusive and uncomfortable in all the best ways and Edward felt conflicted between pulling away or begging for more.“You look so hot,” John told him. “God, you’re amazing Edward.”Edward gripped onto the sheets underneath him, pushing up into John’s hand. He had stopped stroking him a while back but his hand was still holding him and Edward was desperate for John to move and just touch him.

He didn’t though, just carried on working him open, slipping in a third finger after a while and making Edward moan. He was burning up, the sheet below him felt damp where he was sticking to it. Edward’s breath was uneven, little pants and whispered curse words falling from his parted lips.He was a hot mess and he never felt so good.

John moved, climbing over to straddle him before leaning down to kiss his lips. Edward hardly kissed him back, just let John do the work as he concentrated on the feel of John’s skin on his.“I love you.” John pulled away to look at him, his eyes bright, alive with something Edward had never seen before. Edward smiled, losing himself in those eyes as John positioned himself. “Ready?” He asked, confusing Edward for a second. He wanted to ask what he was ready for until he snapped back to earth.He looked at John for what seemed like hours, his brain finally waking up. Edward glanced across John’s features, the same face he had looked at all his life. The face he loved more than anything and it all came crashing back to him that John was his twin and this wasn’t right.

“I’m scared,” Edward whispered again, his hands coming up to hold John’s biceps. “What if you’re wrong? What if this is wrong and we regret it?”“We won’t,” John reassured, “because we’re perfect together and we love each other.”“Things will never be the same,” Edward stated, coming to the realisation himself. “What if things change?”John watched him for a second, his eyes flicking over Edward’s face. “Things might change, but for the better,” John said, “because we will be happy and we will always love each other.”Edward nodded, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. John was right, he wasn’t happy carrying his secret around like a ball and chain and now it was out and John felt the same. This was his chance to be happy, to be with John and be loved.

“Okay,” Edward said firmly. “I’m ready.”“Sure?” John whispered, frowning down at him with concerned eyes.“Yes, I want it.”John leant down and connected their lips, kissing Edward hungrily as he opened his legs while pushing his knees up. Edward braced himself, telling himself to relax and let go.

There was a sudden pain which made Edward loudly whine, his whole body tensing. “Relax,” he heard John whisper, his hand coming up to lightly brush Edward’s hair from his face. “That’s it…” John encouraged, moving into him slowly. Edward sucked in a breath and tried to keep himself relaxed. John started stroking him again, harder this time and Edward was lost between the pleasure and discomfort.“You’re so good,” John whispered, “so good, Edward.”The pleasure of John stroking him soon took over and as John started moving again, Edward thought it didn’t seem so bad. It felt like a strange burn but John was adding more lotion and it seemed easier. “I’m so lucky,” John whispered, “to have you, to be the one who gets you like this.”

John angled his hips and pushed in again, this time, sending sparks through Edward’s body making his whole body jerk as he brushed his g-spot. Edward let out a long, low moan, his back arching off the bed. It felt so good like nothing Edward had ever felt before and he instantly wanted more.“Fuck,” John breathed, “you’re so hot.”Edward tried to answer but all that came out was another long moan, his fingers digging into John’s arms. He opened his eyes to see John looking down at him, just as he hit the spot again, making Edward cry out, louder this time. “I love you,” John told him, “I love everything about you.” His voice was trembling and strained and Edward knew he was just as close as he was. “We’re going to spend the rest of our lives together,” John went on. “And even in fifty years time, you will still amaze me every day and I will still love you as much as I do now-”

One more thrust o John’s hips, one more pump of John’s hand and Edward was coming, shouting loudly and completely losing himself in his climax. John stroked him through it before letting go himself, his hips snapping into Edward, his body trembling and the most beautiful sounds coming from his slack mouth.Edward took a few breaths. His skin was burning and he felt like he was floating. John pulled out, making him wince before flopping down next to him, his ragged breaths filling the air along with Edward’s. Edward’s legs ached and there was a strange throbbing, a dull ache when he moved.

He turned his head to look at John. His eyes were closed, his chest rising and falling quickly. John opened his eyes and looked at him, smiling a small “okay?”Edward nodded, this mind clearing a little. “Are you?” He asked as the worry slowly crept in. He didn’t want John to regret it, to realise what they’ve done and never go near him again.“I’ve never been better.” John turned around so he was facing Edward, his hand reaching out to lightly smooth his hair. “You’re amazing.”“So you keep saying,” Edward laughed, his cheeks turning pink.“Because I mean it. I meant every ting I said. Do you still think it’s wrong?” There was an undertone to John’s voice that made Edward feel sad. He was nervous of what Edward’s answer would be, Edward could see it in his eyes.“No,” Edward told him, turning his body to face John’s. John kissed him again and it felt like their first kiss all over again. Edward could feel the difference in them; they had changed but in the best way possible.

Edward slipped into his bed, fresh from the shower. John watched him from his own bed for a moment before slowly getting up and joining him.Their family went to bed not long after they had returned home. Edward had untangled his body from John’s and got into his bed when he heard the front door open and close. Their parents said goodnight and left them to get showered and ready for bed.Edward got into his bed, unsure if John wanted to sleep alone or not and he was relieved when John moved into his bed with him.“No one will find out,” John whispered, “we have all night. Every night.”Edward mindlessly ran his fingers up and down John’s arm, his other hand tucked under his pillow. John was almost laying the way but the hand that wasn’t under his pillow was resting on Edward’s hip, his index finger stroking over the hem of his boxers.

“I’m so happy I have you,” he said, leaning towards Edward and resting his head on his shoulder. Edward pulled him closer, wrapping both arms around his body and pressing a kiss to the top of his head.“You’ve always got me.” John leant back to look Edward before kissing him. Edward kissed him back and thought back to the church and how he felt that day. It seemed like a million years ago now, like he was a different person altogether.John broke the kiss and looked at him with a wide smile before leaning back down on his shoulder to sleep. Edward gave him a squeeze and thought about all the things John had said that night with a smile. Edward was finally happy and he didn’t care about how wrong it was supposed to be because he loved John and John loved him and he could see now, that’s all he ever needed.

[area50dununiverse]

Your prompts are coming!!

Why do people even follow me? I'm useless at updating!! I feel so bad because you guys are so nice and I'm really bad! Please love me still! ❤️😘

[area50dununiverse]

I've just finished writing a prompt, are you guys proud of me?!

Okay, so we all know I've been really lame recently with filling prompts... BUT I have just finished a Truth or Dare J&E prompt and will be posting it tomorrow! I'm also half way through an angst J&E prompt so hopefully posting that one soon... I hope you guys don't hate me (too much) ❤️😘

[area50dununiverse]

I loved your new fic OMG but I have never read anything so smutty I actually was bright red reading it lol! but it gave me an idea like liam spanks john and ed as an actual punishment B/C if they are gonna act like naught kids he will treat them like naughty kids and at first they hate it it hurts and is SO embarrassing but as time goes on they deliberately try to get in trouble B/C they start to find it hot and have to hide their arousal? sorry if this is gross it's literally filthy lol

Hello lovely anon! PLEASE don’t apologise for smut, nothing is too smutty for me!! 

I’m glad you liked my fic, sorry I made you blush :)

I loved this prompt and was super excited but I’ve had mad brain block recently and really struggled with getting down a single word, so I really hope this is okay and not as rubbish as I think it is….?

I also only made it from John’s POV, because I couldn’t do multiple POVs because I suck at writing!  

I really hope you like it!! There is smut at the end because y’know..

It all happened so fast. One moment Liam was shouting at John to put the box of cereal back and the next, there was cereal all over the floor and Liam’s hand was stinging. John looked like he was about to cry and Liam was horrified. He had to take a second to connect the string of events.He had shouted “if you’re going to behave like a kid, I’ll treat you like one” and he had smacked him.

He opened his mouth to say sorry, to pull him into a hug and ask for forgiveness but then John was crouching down to clean up his mess with a small “sorry Liam.”It had worked. Liam had never seen either of them tidy up a mess without being nagged for hours.

Edward looked personally offended by the whole thing and opened his mouth to speak but Liam was quicker. “Unless you want one too, shut up.” Liam watched Edward’s mouth snap shut and he was suddenly proud that he had found something to actually make them listen.He cleared his throat and walked out of the room, hoping he didn’t hurt John.

•

There was never a discussion about it, it just happened. Whenever John and Edward ‘misbehaved’ they would get spanked by Liam.They both hated it, but Edward seemed to hate it more than John and would do anything in his power to keep it from happening.

John got it a lot more than him. He tried not to, but one thing always lead to another which always ended up with him getting a sore arse. John had to admit to himself that it didn’t actually hurt too much, if at all but it was just the idea of getting spanked. It was embarrassing and belittling and John dreaded it when Liam would give him the look; the look that told John what was about to happen.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” John said with wide eyes. Liam had told him ten times not to attempt a cartwheel because he would end up breaking something. Liam had thought his warnings had worked until he left the room and heard the sound of glass breaking followed by a suspicious silence.

He went back in to find John standing in the middle of the room, his cheeks pink and his bottom lip between his teeth. Liam looked at Edward, who was sitting on the sofa, the exact look of worry and guilt on his face.

That’s when Liam’s eyes caught sight of the television. It was laying on the floor and the screen was smashed.Liam had no choice but to act, no matter how much he didn’t want to. Even though John apologised, Liam had warned him so many times so he had to follow through or they will know he was a push over.

Liam pointed at the floor in front of him and stared down at John. He only hesitated for a second before taking the few steps towards Liam. His eyes shifted towards Edward once before he slowly turned around and bent over just a little bit.Liam saw him close his eyes, bracing himself and he considered apologising before he smacked him but he knew that would make him look weak.

John was only wearing a pair of tracksuit bottoms, thinner than the jeans he was usually in, so Liam did it lighter than normal so it wouldn’t hurt him.John went and sat down, his arms crossed and face set. Liam watched him for a moment before pointing at the broken tv and saying “tidy this up,” before leaving him to sulk.

John was still sulking an hour later. He hated this new punishment. It hurt and it was awkward. No one had ever spanked him, not even his mother when they were children. He considered calling Liam out, maybe he could refuse, tell him that he won’t do it. But he liked Liam and they needed him. John didn’t want Liam to quit and he figured that he only wanted the best for them. John knew the way stop it happening again was to be good. It’s not that he meant to upset Liam and misbehave, he was just having fun and that sometimes led to misbehaving.

Edward side eyed him and smirked so John shot him a dirty look. “Don’t even say it,” John pouted, sensing Edward’s oncoming 'I told you so’. Edward had warned him to listen to Liam, told him what would happen and John hated it when he was right.“Did it hurt?” Edward asked instead, leaning towards him to look at his face. He shrugged, his face heating up slightly. John huffed again embarrassed and pissed off by the whole thing.Edward patted him on the shoulder in sympathy and John huffed again.

It was that night that John woke up from a strange dream. He was uncomfortably hard and hot and confused. He couldn’t remember most of the dream once he was awake but did remember getting spanked and the sounds he made as he cried out with each slap to the arse.

He looked over at Edward’s bed and watched him for a few seconds to make sure he was asleep before he wrapped his hand around himself, definitely not thinking about the sound each slap made against his skin in his dream.

The next day John couldn’t shake the strange feeling. He was confused and embarrassed. He didn’t tell Edward nor Liam about his dream but he knew and that was embarrassing enough. He kept away from Liam, even though the man in his dream was faceless, it was Liam that started this mess.

Just when John thought he was back to feeling normal again, Edward got himself in trouble. Liam gave him that look and John shifted in his seat, very aware of the consequence.John tried to avert his eyes as Liam stepped towards Edward but he just couldn’t help looking. John knew he shouldn’t be getting excited about this but as he watched Edward close his eyes and brace himself, he couldn’t stop the bolt of excitement run up his spine.

John was hard, and he knew it was wrong because he was watching someone smack his own brother. It was weird and John knew it. Edward made a small sound, almost a whimper and John shifted positions again, crossing his leg over and placing a cushion in his lap.

Edward flopped down next to him, his arms crossed and brow furrowed. John gave him a small smile, his cheeks turning pink as the embarrassment crept back in. He thought about his dream again and flicked his eyes back to Edward before standing up and trying to look natural and hide his excitement as he left the room.

•

John managed to stay out of Liam’s way for a week. There were no punishments for either of them and John was starting to forget it had ever happened.That was until he playfully pushed Edward, knocking him into the newly organised paperwork Liam has left on the table. Liam looked at John with fire in his eyes and John wondered if the room could hear his heartbeat.

He said John’s name and felt he was suddenly too hot. He could feel his cheeks turn pink and chest tighten. Liam didn’t give John a chance to go to him as he was suddenly in front of him, turning him around by his shoulder and landing a smack against his arse.It was harder than normal and John figured it was his temper but had an effect on him that he couldn’t explain. Liam was saying something but John couldn’t concentrate on anything but the uncomfortable feeling in his tight jeans.

“I can’t believe you, John,” Liam was rambling, “just when I thought you had grown up!”John cleared his throat, trying to keep his voice even as he said a quick “sorry Liam.” He held his hands in front of his crotch, trying not to look suspicious.“This was all our plans, flight information, hotel bookings…” Liam pointed at the floor but John didn’t look. It was over too quick, and he needed more somehow. He looked at the table, to what was left of the pile and before he could stop himself, he was sweeping his arms across the table, taking two glasses of water and a plate with what was left of Edward’s breakfast with it.

Edward’s mouth hung open, his eyes wide. John didn’t dare look at Liam, he felt frozen to the spot, excitement and nerves making him feel light headed. Liam was shouting and there were hands on him again and John almost asked for it, biting back the word 'harder’ as Liam raised his hand.It connected and John thought he whimpered but couldn’t be sure. Liam was telling them to get out, so John did, quickly leaving while trying to hide the fact he was outrageously hard in his jeans.

Edward followed, his voice going over John’s head as he headed for their bedroom. “What’s wrong with you?” Edward asked when their door was shut. John turned his back to him and mumbled a quick, “I need the toilet,” before leaving Edward standing in the middle of the room, confused.

•

John felt dirty but he needed it, couldn’t stop thinking about it and as he watched Liam talking on the phone, he made a plan.He needed to misbehave again, do something to get that contact, to make Liam spank him. He was getting hot just from the thought. It had been two weeks and as much as John tried to distract himself from the feeling, he couldn’t help himself.

John didn’t know what to do. Edward was talking a mile a minute from beside him but John wasn’t listening. His eyes ran over the hotel room, trying to figure out what he could do to make Liam angry, get him to react. Just at that moment, Liam put his phone down right next to the jug of water and John couldn’t contain the smirk on his lips.

He wandered over and picked up the jug, glancing at Liam once more before he dropped it, water soaking Liam’s phone. “John!” The reaction was instant and John held his breath. “What the fuck?”He was rushing over and pulling John around in a blink and John was so ready.

John let out a small whimper as Liam’s hand connected, his jeans muffling the sound of the slap. He wondered what it would sound like if Liam had removed his trousers and pants, pulled them down to his ankles, so John could no longer hide his excitement, showing Edward how dirty he is.

It was over too soon, leaving John wanting more. He was so hard now and he pulled his jumper down as he straightened himself up.Liam had already moved on as he left the room, leaving John in a daze; aroused and breathless.

He had to leave, desperate to sort himself out. Edward said something as John left the room but John didn’t stop, didn’t care what he said as he locked the bathroom door and quickly shoved his jeans to his ankles.He looked at his arse in the mirror, turning his head around to try and see any indication of what had happened. There was no mark though as his jeans protected his skin. John huffed, he wanted a red handprint and just the thought of it made him twitch.

He took hold of himself and let out a slow jittery breath, his eyes falling closed as he imagined the sound of skin slapping skin, his naked arse; offered up as he bent over and the sting.John whimpered at the thought. The sting would be amazing and John thought about how he would feel it for ages afterwards and he would look at the red angry hand mark to go with it.

John was moving fast, his hips bucking into his hand, tiny gasps and small moans the only sounds that could be heard, along with the unmistakable sound of his hand working himself over.

John was on was the edge when there was a knock on the door, making him freeze. “John?” Edward’s voice called, “are you crying? I can hear you crying.”John’s hand slowly moved, not being able to stop himself.“I’m fine-” he answered, his voice strained. John accidentally whimpered again and he knew Edward would’ve heard and would think he was crying still.

He suddenly got an idea. “Ed?” He breathed, taking his hand off himself “come in.” John unlocked the door and pulled Edward inside. Edward let his eyes take the sight in before meeting John’s eyes.John was too worked up to think logically, his brain clouded with arousal. “I need your help,” he puffed, his hand cupping himself again.

This wasn’t the first time they had seen each other like this. They shared a bedroom all their lives and had spent far too much time together to hide away when they needed to sort themselves out, so they freely touched themselves with the other one inches away in the next bed; sometimes even racing each other to see who could climax first.

“What?” Edward asked, his brow furrowed. John shifted on his feet before saying “smack me.” Edward’s face went from confused to shocked and back to confused in a heartbeat but John was turning himself around and bracing his hands on the edge of the sink. “Please?” He breathed.“I can’t hit you, John,” Edward whispered, making John whine in frustration.“Just do it please?”“Okay.” John heard Edward mumble. There was a long stretch where Edward didn’t do anything and John was about to snap at him to do it when he felt his hand on his skin.

It was too light, he was being too careful but John still felt the shock and the tingling on his skin. He closed his eyes and moaned, his voice strained as he said “harder Edward.”Edward’s hand came down again, harder this time and that was it. John cried out, his hand coming down to stroke himself again. There was another sting as Edward’s hand came down again.

John turned to the mirror and craned his neck around again, this time seeing the red handprints on his otherwise unblemished skin. John whined and braced himself against the sink again, snapping at Edward for more, harder and quicker.Edward did as John asked, without hesitation this time, the sound of the slap echoing around the small room along with John’s moans. John pumped himself harder and faster and one more smack and he was coming, harder than he ever had before.

John turned to face Edward with a small “sorry.” He felt guilty now he was in his right mind, he knew he shouldn’t have dragged Edward into this. Edward gave a one-shouldered shrug, his face neutral and John breathed out a laugh. Typical Edward, John thought, he’s just spanked his brother into the most intense orgasm he’d ever had and yet he’s completely unfazed.

John slumped down onto the lid of the toilet to catch his breath, watching Edward look at him, his eyes running over John’s body.“You owe me,” Edward finally said, “you can do me next time.” John gave a half-hearted smile and a nod as Edward turned to leave the room with a smile of his own.

[area50dununiverse]

I absolutely adore your Jedward fics, they're the best on the web! You're so talented and sweet

Hey lovely person! first of all: THANK YOU for being so nice and honestly, I adore being called sweet, so you have my heart

Secondly: By ‘best on the web’ don’t you mean ONLY ones on the web? My fics aren’t that good but you take what yu can get, am I right? ;)

Thirdly: Your prompt is in NO way shitty!! 

And lastly: I REALLY hope you like it because it went in a different direction to what I originally planned… ENJOY!!

PS- prompt me anytime and although I may take 5 years to do it, I will always fill it, you lovely anon! :) 

Edward wrapped his hand around himself and let out a shaky breath. He had given in to his urges long ago and let himself think up images of John. He imagined him on his knees in front of him, his plump lips opening around his length.

Edward let out a soft moan, biting his lip against the sounds. John was only in the shower next door, and Edward didn’t know how long he had. He had to be quick and quiet.It didn’t take him long to reach climax, whispering small moans under his breath.

John came out of the bathroom a few seconds later, rambling on about something. Edward looked at his phone to avoid looking at him. It felt too dirty to hold a conversation with him literally seconds after coming at the thought of John blowing him. He nodded and agreed in the right places, not really listening to what John was saying. He was still thinking about the dirty images on his mind, letting them linger behind his eyes for a while longer.

The next morning, Edward woke up hard. He knew he had time to sort himself out before John woke up so went to work, sighing softly and thinking about his twin in the dirtiest way possible.“What?”Edward froze at John’s voice, flicking his eyes over to where he lay. His back was facing Edward and he was wondering if he imagined it.“You said my name?” John turned around to face Edward, blinking sleep from eyes and confirming that no, Edward wasn’t imagining his voice.Edward held his breath, hand still wrapped around himself, too scared to move. He had no idea he had even said John’s name and now John was looking at him, confused and sleepy.

Edward stayed frozen and gave John a small smile. “Maybe I said it in my sleep?” He mumbled, breathing out a laugh. John’s eyes trailed down the quilt and Edward held his breath again.“Are you…?” John frowned, fully awake now. Edward felt his face heat up. He was burning hot and wanted to run and never come back. He had no clue as to why he was still holding himself as all logic screamed to just let go.

“You said my name,” John stated matter of factly.“Maybe you misheard,” Edward said in his defence even though it was pointless. John knew what he heard and there was Edward, in front of him with his hand still on his dick and his face bright red.“Edward-” John warned and Edward knew he had to either come clean or think of a better lie.“Fine,” Edward sighed, finally letting go of himself and sitting up. “I did, but I didn’t mean to. I was trying to be silent.” John frowned again, looking even more confused.“Why did you say it?” He asked and Edward felt himself blush deeper.

“I just-” he bit his lip, trying to figure out how to say ‘I was thinking about you fucking me into next week’ delicately. “Was thinking about…” He looked away from John, focusing on the window instead as he mumbled “you.”

There was a stretch of silence and Edward was half way through a mini mental breakdown when John said “oh.”Edward looked at him, his cheeks so hot he felt like he was a furnace. “Are you freaked out?”“Nah, not really,” John shrugged, getting himself comfy again. “It’s cool.”

Edward slowly nodded. He had to admit that wasn’t what he had expected. John had always been laid back and Edward knew that he would always accept him no matter what. He had no problem coming out to John all those years ago because he knew John would always love him and never judge him.This was different though. Edward couldn’t help but think John was taking this a bit too well.

“Why?” John asked suddenly, making Edward cringe. What could he say to that?“Dunno,” he settled on but John wasn’t happy with that.“Tell me,” John turned his body so he was laying on his side, facing Edward.“You’re always the one that’s here I suppose,” Edward shrugged. “Your constant, safe and I love you.” He met John’s eyes and suddenly felt sad.He was fully aware that John didn’t feel the same. He was straight for one thing, always going off with various girls and spending nights in their beds, leaving Edward to push the jealousy to the back of mind.

John nodded, picking up on Edward’s sudden mood change. His stare was too intense, to deep so Edward looked away again, choosing to look down at his quilt instead. “Don’t be sad,” John told him softly “you know I love you.”Edward tried to smile as he nodded. He wanted to say that it wasn’t the same, that John couldn’t possibly understand his feelings.“I know,” he said instead. It wasn’t John’s fault Edward felt like this and he knew he couldn’t punish him for it. He couldn’t push his sadness onto John for something he couldn’t help.

“I’m sorry,” John said, looking down at his hands. Edward shook his head because this was not what he wanted. He opened his mouth to speak but John was moving, jumping into his bed quickly with a smile. “You’re a Virgin,” John stated, making Edward frown. He was fully aware of his sad sexual status and didn’t really want reminding. Edward wasn’t nieve enough to think John spent nights with girls sleeping and he hated being the one left behind; For John to experience something without him.

“You want to do it with someone you trust and love, right?” John shuffled closer and Edward was suddenly very hyper aware of everything.“But you’re-”“I’ll do it for you, Ed, I want to.” John moved again and Edward felt warm lips against his. It was hesitant at first; Edward didn’t know what to do or how to react. This was John, his twin who he cared for most in the world and he didn’t want him regretting anything.

“You don’t have to-” Edward mumbled, leaning back to look at him.“I want to.” John pushed Edward back and positioned himself over him, his hands on either side of his head as he climbed on top of him. John had a knee either side of Edward’s hips and Edward couldn’t help the tiny movements as he bucked up into him.John grinned at him, a look of triumph on his face and he leant down to kiss him again.

This time, Edward kissed back, letting John lead him as their lips moved together. John’s tongue opened Edward’s mouth and Edward let him kiss him, hardly kissing back. John had a confidence that Edward didn’t, he was experienced and knew what to do, leaving Edward helpless underneath him.John kissed down Edward’s neck, kissing across his collar bones before biting his pulse point. Edward groaned and pushed up against him again.

“John…” Edward whispered. It almost felt wrong to say his name but this time was real, it was really John so Edward said it again just because he could.John’s hand snaked down Edward’s body, taking hold of him tightly. The touch sent sparks through Edward’s body, he was so desperate.“We need lotion or something,” John mumbled, letting go of Edward and climbing off him.“Vaseline-” Edward breathed, pointing to his draw. John raised an eyebrow before leaning over Edward and getting the small pot.

“You’ll have to do it,” John said, handing it to Edward. “I don’t know how.”Edward nodded and opened the jar before slicking up his fingers. He was no stranger to fingering himself and went to work quickly. John stood up and slipped off his pants, making Edward blush slightly. He couldn’t believe it was actually happening.

Edward worked himself while John knelt beside him, peppering kisses over his chest and face. He was sweating and panting by the time he pulled his fingers out with a strangled “I’m ready.”John took the vaseline from him and Edward closed his eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to watch John slick himself up but he could feel him stroking himself before lining himself up.

“Are you okay?” John whispered, his voice heavy. Edward nodded, words failing him as he bucked his hips up towards him, a silent plea. There was a pressure, a burn and a strange popping feeling as John pushed in.It was so different to what Edward was used to. He had only ever used his fingers and Edward wasn’t sure if he could this if John was too big.

John slowly pushed in, hushing Edward and kissing his face until he was fully inside. Edward took a moment to breathe before giving him a nod. John started moving, agonisingly slow, and gentle.Edward moaned his back arching, his mouth slack. He had never felt so full and it was so good. The burn, the stretch, everything was good and Edward needed more.John pushed back in, snapping his hips up into Edward as he whimpered from above him. Edward opened his eyes and looked up at him. He was flushed and on the edge, just like Edward was and with another nod from Edward, John let go, moving his hips hard and fast.

Edward cried out, his fingers digging into John’s biceps. He had never felt this good and as John pushed back in, it got ten thousand times better. Edward all but screamed, making John breathe out a laugh as he angled his hips and hit the spot again and again.“Fuck, oh fuck John-” Edward breathed, making John moan. “John, yes, fuck…” Edward screamed completely unashamed. John mumbled Edward’s name a few times, his voice husky and possibly the best thing Edward had ever heard. Edward’s hand flew down his body to touch himself but John pulled it away and replaced it with his own, pumping him in time with his thrusts.

Edward cried out, going temporarily blind and deaf as his orgasm took over his body. His body twitched against John’s and he was vaguely aware of John coming, his moans filtering through Edward’s fogged up mind.John pulled out and flopped down on top of him as they caught their breath.

Edward felt good. Better than good, he felt amazing and couldn’t help the lazy smile on his lips.John rolled off him and smiled at him before whispering a shaky “okay?”Edward nodded his body craving sleep. He closed his eyes and felt John move as he got out of bed. Edward didn’t know where he went or what would happen once he woke up. He didn’t know if they would ever talk about it or acknowledge what had happened, all Edward knew, for now, was how happy he felt and how he desperately needed to sleep.Edward opened his eyes once more to see John lying in his own bed, watching him. John smiled again and Edward smiled back before he drifted into sleep.

[area50dununiverse]

J+E prompt: One is in love with the other (which ever) and feels like they can't lose their virginity as there's always that hope that it will be to the other one. The other one badgers them about why all the time and one day they confess, but don't say they have feelings for them just that they want it to be special and the only person they for sure know will love them and keep them safe is the other twin. Other twin starts to get feelings but neither know about the other's feelings

Hello, sweet anon! Sorry, this took so long!! Also, I don’t like how it jumps from present tense to past, but the beginning bit sounded like Edward had died when it was in past tense!! I hope this isn’t as bad as I think it is!! There is a lot I don’t like about this fic but I can’t get it any better so……. Ta-Da!

(FYI, the towel thing that John does was totally my own coping mechanism when I was bullied at school)

John loves Edward. He loves every little thing about him. He loves his eyes and the way they sparkled, lighting up every time he spoke, he loves Edward’s hair and the way it always looked perfect; even first thing in the morning. John loves the way Edward walks, the way he bounces with every step and he loves how kind Edward is.Edward finds it impossible to be mean, and John would sometimes laugh and tell him that he’s too nice, but never telling him how much he loves that about him.

Most of all, John loves his smile. Edward could light up a room with one single smile and John fell hopelessly more in love with him every time he saw it.Next to his smile, John loves his laugh. Edward has a habit to always cover his mouth while he laughs because he thought he looked goofy. He was once told at school that his laugh was stupid, so now Edward would always try to silence it whenever he found something funny. John always wanted to shout at him tell him that he was perfect and he should never feel self-conscious about anything. John loves the moments where Edward finds something so funny, he can’t laugh silently; he just let’s go and bursts out into a fit of giggles.

John loves Edward’s physique. He’s  slimmer than John, sleek and defined. John would catch himself watching Edward while he changed, letting his eyes roam over the expanse of milky white skin. Edward never noticed and on the occasions John thought he had, he never said anything. No matter how hard he tried not to, John would always go back to watching him.

There wasn’t one single thing he disliked about Edward and he hated himself for it. John was under no disillusion that feeling this way about your own twin brother was normal but he couldn’t help it.He had tried so hard to deny it to himself, to try to believe that his love for Edward was strictly brotherly but it came to a point where he couldn’t do it any longer; deep down he always knew. So he finally admitted it to himself and carried the secret around like a ball and chain in the years since.

Sometimes, when it all gets too much for John to handle, he locks himself in the bathroom to silently scream into a folded towel.He found this way of coping after Edward had started flirting with who was soon to be his first girlfriend. They had got chatting as John and Edward walked home from school one day and soon John was forgotten about, trailing behind the two of them as they laughed and talked.John was seething by the time they had got home and when they finally got inside, he told Edward he was going for a shower and disappeared.As soon as the door was locked, the tears were streaming down his face, his fists clenched at his sides. John could picture the girl and Edward going on a date, holding hands, kissing and he couldn’t take it. He grabbed the towel and pressed it against his face, his cries silent.

Edward and the girl had ended up going out for a while, and John would have to watch them on daily biases. Edward was so open about everything that he would go to John and tell him everything. He told him about their first kiss, the first time Edward had touched her and the first time she had touched him. He even told John when they had sex. It was at her house and Edward returned excited and giddy about the whole thing and John had to pretend he was too, his big smile never faltering. As soon as Edward was distracted with something else, John scurried into the bathroom, grabbing the towel and burying his face in it, his body shaking with the force of his cries.

The X factor years were hardest. They had girls (and boys) throwing themselves at them all the time. Edward would tell John that he had kissed a girl or two and John would always snap at him that they had a squeaky clean reputation to look after so Edward soon stopped taking the girls up on their advances to John’s relief. Once it was all over though, Edward went back to seeing girls again, which obviously lead to him to do more with them and telling John all about it later.“You could have any one of these girls,” Edward would say, “why don’t you just talk to one?” This would hurt John the most. It confirmed in his own mind that Edward could never be interested in him as anything more than a brother. He would try to push John to have sex, not understanding why he wouldn’t.

“I want to wait,” John always said, “I want to choose the right person, someone I’ll spend the rest of my life with.” John’s brain would scream ‘you Edward!’ But he would ignore it the best he could. Edward would shrug and go back to talking with the girls, aiming his perfect smile at them and John would feel sick.

Sometimes John would give in to his urges and touch himself with images of Edward behind his closed eyes. He would imagine Edward’s lips stretched around him, Edward’s hands on his body, Edward on his hands and knees while John vigorously fucked into him.He always felt guilty afterwards, the shame bubbling in his stomach like a sickness but he knew he would do it again and again.

John loves Edward and there’s nothing he can do about it. The thought of Edward getting a serious girlfriend sometimes crosses his mind, the thought of him loving anyone other than him would eat away at him. Edward would sometimes notice and ask him what was wrong and John would smile and keep on pretending. He didn’t notice often as these thoughts mostly happened at night, after Edward was long asleep and John was laying in his own bed, staring up at the ceiling and refusing to look across at Edward.

John sometimes wondered how Edward would react if he ever did come clean. Would it ruin everything? He sometimes imagined Edward smiling and reassuring him 'I’ll love you no matter what’ imaginary Edward would tell him.Other times, most of the time, he imagined the look of disgust and horror on his face, snatching his hand away from John’s and telling him never to even so much as look at him ever again. It’s over. You’ve ruined everything John.No. John could never risk it. Edward was far too important to lose.

So he carries on. He continues watching Edward shamelessly flirt with girls and he knows he will scream about it later when he’s locked away. For now, John just has to smile and laugh and make any excuse to touch Edward, a subtle hint to the girls he’s flirting with that Edward is his.

“Why haven’t you had sex?” Edward asked out of the blue as they lay in their beds one night. John looked up from his phone and tried to look nonchalant about it.“I told you, I wanna wait.” He kept his voice even and controlled, looking back at his phone screen but not reading anything on it.“Why?” Edward asked, turning over to look at John, his eyes sleepy. “Do you like boys John?”John shot Edward a look at the sudden question. Edward was just looking back at him, calm and unfazed. “Because you know you can tell me? I’ll always love you.”

John couldn’t help but smile at this. “I dunno,” John said honestly. He had tried thinking about it before but hadn’t made up his mind. He wasn’t really attracted to girls but he couldn’t think of any boys he liked either. Just Edward. Always Edward.“You can still have sex though, there’s nothing wrong with it.” Edward pushed. John put his phone down and turned to face Edward, cuddling his pillow and hooking a leg over his quilt.“I don’t trust anyone,” John admitted honestly, “I want to do it with someone I love and I haven’t found anyone.”

'Except you’ he added in his head. Edward gave a nod, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he thought. “I wish I had waited,” Edward mumbled, “so it meant something.”John watched Edward for a moment, considering what he was going to say.  "I don’t think I’m ever going to fall in love,“ John said truthfully. He couldn’t fall in love with someone when he was already in love. He didn’t want to fall for anyone else and he felt that pang of sadness in his chest."Yes you will,” Edward answered, meeting John’s eyes before they both fell into silence. “Sometimes I think that we should just get married,” Edward said after a while as he huffed out a half-hearted laugh. John did the same and forced out a laugh.

He turned away slightly so Edward wouldn’t pick up on how fake his laugh was or notice the hurt behind his eyes. He didn’t want to be the joke, no matter how ridiculous it was. He didn’t want Edward to find the idea of them being anything more than brothers so impossible that it would be a joke.They fell back into silence and John was starting to think that Edward had fallen asleep so he glanced over. Edward was still laying in the same position, his eyes on John. He gave John a small smile as they looked at each other and mumbled a “night night,” before turning over, his back towards John.“Night.” John mumbled, his chest tight and stomach twisting.

“Why don’t you start dating?” Edward asked the next day as they dressed. John pulled on his ridiculously skinny jeans, wiggling his hips into them and cursing them. “Why are you so interested in my love life suddenly?” John huffed, doing up the button and pulling the zip up. He watched Edward repeat his actions as he wiggled into the same jeans, his hips moving gracefully.“I want you to be happy,” Edward answered, looking at John as he done his jeans up.“Sounds like you’re trying to get rid of me.” John aimed for his words to be light hearted, a joke but he could hear the weight behind them and hoped Edward hadn’t.“Never,” Edward said without hesitation, as he pulled on a white top, “I’d be lost without you.”

John smiled and turned towards Edward. There was something behind his eyes that John couldn’t pinpoint, couldn’t read. Edward was quick to turn away, looking into the mirror and running his fingers through his hair. John watched him for a moment before going over to help style his hair, like normal. Edward flinched away from John’s touch and mumbled something about wanting his hair flat and unstyled before leaving the room.John looked at the door, confused and panicked. He knew. He had to know; that’s why he’s trying to push John into getting a girlfriend. He couldn’t stand to be near John and it all made sense now. All the questions about John’s love life; he was waiting for an admission. John ran into the bathroom and grabbed a towel as he slammed the door shut.

John became careful around Edward, making sure he wasn’t doing or saying anything that could freak him out. John would catch Edward watching him, flicking his eyes away as soon as John would look at him. There was an awkwardness between them that John hated and no matter how many times he asked Edward if he was okay, Edward would always reply with “yeah, I’m fine,” with one of his brightest smiles. John could see through it though.John also noticed that he had stopped talking to girls. He obviously spoke to them, kissed fans on the cheeks and embraced them for photos but he had stopped flirting and John couldn’t remember the last time he went out with anyone else but him.

It was weighing John down. He couldn’t quite pinpoint where it all went wrong or what he might’ve done. Maybe he had accidentally said something, maybe Edward had caught on by the way John looked at him. He went over everything they had spoken about and couldn’t figure it out.

“Why don’t you go out with girls anymore?” John asked one night as they lay in their beds. It was too dark to see Edward’s reaction but John heard him shift.“I don’t feel like it.” Edward’s voice was soft, almost a whisper and John knew that he was upset, they were too close for him not to pick up on how he felt.“What’s wrong?” John asked the darkness, “I know something is wrong Ed so just tell me.” There was a long pause before he heard Edward shift again.“You.” John heard him whisper, making his heart sink.“What?” John breathed.“I didn’t say anything,” Edward lied, “I just yawned.” John nodded even though Edward couldn’t see him but he could still feel the tightness in his chest. He knew he had heard it. Edward had said that he was what was wrong and John felt like crying.

“You said it was me-” John gently said, blinking away the tears.“No, I didn’t John. Just go to sleep.” Edward shuffled around again before they fell back into silence; John trying not to make a sound as he cried.

“I’m sorry,” John said the next morning as Edward got out of the shower. He had been showering while John brushed his teeth, his brain going over the whole thing again, just trying to understand it all.“What for?” Edward mumbled as he wrapped himself in a towel. John followed him into the bedroom and leant against the doorframe, watching hm.“Everything.” John decided. He was sorry for everything. Everything he had ever felt, everything he had ever thought. Edward gave him a questioning look, one hand holding up the towel, the other on his hip.

“I’ve ruined everything. You hate me and-”“I don’t hate you!” Edward snapped, stepping forward once before he stopped himself.“See?” John gestured towards him, “you can’t even come near me, Edward!” John noticed Edward’s cheeks turn pink as he looked at the floor. “I’m so sorry,” John cried, letting the tears fall and this time, Edward actually came to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.“You haven’t done anything John, it’s me. I’ve made everything awkward.”

John looked at him and shook his head. “You can’t blame yourself. You can’t help it.”Edward looked like he was about to cry as he stepped away again and ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t even know how or when it all started.”John shrugged, he didn’t know either. Couldn’t remember a time he didn’t love Edward and now Edward knew and it was all so wrong. He wondered if this was it. Edward was building up to tell him that they need time apart and that will lead to Edward never coming back to his weirdo brother.“I just suddenly realised,” Edward told him, “although I think it’s always been there, deep down.”

John nodded because he was right. He knew exactly how John felt and John couldn’t deny it. “You’re freaked out, I can tell.”“No,” John mumbled, “I just don’t want to loose you.” Edward’s face dropped, John’s words enough to make him cry. John wanted to comfort him but he wasn’t sure if he could. “Don’t get upset, if that’s what you want, I’ll do it. I’ll leave?”

“Don’t leave me-” Edward rushed, “I’m sorry, I’ll try to stop John, maybe go back to those girls?”John’s heart sank at his words. He wanted to date again, prove to John that they were no more than brothers. “I was just hoping-” Edward cut himself off to wipe his face. “Hoping that the person, the person you’ve been waiting for all this time could be me and it’s not and-”“What?” John held up a hand and met Edward’s tearful eyes.“I’m sorry John, I don’t know when I started to love you but-”“Wait-” John frowned, trying to process the information. Had Edward been talking about his own feelings the whole time?

“I do, you are my person, I thought that’s why you hated me?” John’s voice was shaky, nerves and maybe a tiny bit of hope welling up inside of him. Edward froze and looked back at him.“I am?” He asked, his lips turning up at the corners. “You love me?”“I’ve always loved you,” John admitted and the words felt good finally being spoken like a weight had been lifted and John could finally breathe.“I want to be your person,” he said with a smile and John felt like crying again. “You wanted to wait for someone that will love you forever?” Edward met his eyes while one hand undid the towel around his waist, letting it fall to the floor. “I’m your person.”

John smiled, a few tears falling as he stepped forward. Edward hooked a hand around the back of his neck before pulling him in for a kiss and John could finally feel Edward’s lips against his. Edward pulled John down onto his bed and John was finally going to be with the one person he loved. The one person he knew he would have forever and the one person who would have him forever.

[area50dununiverse]

I wish you would write a fic where... j and e's parents are fine for the weekend so they take the opportunity to do it on every possible surface in the whole house lol

Your wish is my command dear anon!! 

John’s back hit the door behind him, knocking the air out of his lungs. His brain couldn’t process the string of events. one second he was waving to their parents as they drove away, the next, his shirt was balled up in Edward’s fists and he couldn’t quite breathe properly.Edward’s lips were on his neck and John sighed, melting into Edward’s touch. “Thank fuck they’ve gone-” Edward mumbled before licking a stripe from John’s collarbone to his jawline. John just grunted in an answer as he hooked a leg over Edward’s, pulling him flush against him.

“I have an idea…” Edward smirked, meeting John’s eyes and John felt a bolt of excitement run through him. He knew that look, and it always leads to something great. “We have the house to ourselves for the whole weekend.”John grinned because he knew exactly what that meant. They could be as loud as they wanted, no sneaking around and nervously listening out for any sign of someone coming. John loved being home alone with Edward.“Let’s do it here,” Edward smiled as he pushed John’s hands away and stepped back. He started undressing, quickly pulling off his t-shirt and slipping out of his jeans.

“I want to do it up against the front door John,” Edward smirked as he worked on getting John’s jeans down and John quickly stripped his own t-shirt off while he kicked his jeans off. Edward was there as soon as they were both naked, pressing up against him and kissing his lips.John didn’t know what gave Edward this idea and as Edward pulled one of John’s legs around him, he didn’t care. He followed Edward’s lead and jumped up onto him, his back against the front door and his legs wrapped around Edward. Edward’s fingers were digging into the back of his thighs and John knew there will be bruises there later.

Edward was quick to suck two fingers into his mouth, making a show of twirling his tongue around them before pulling them out. John watched a string of saliva connecting between his lips and fingers as he pulled them out his mouth and groaned at the sight.

Edward prepared John quickly, his movements fast and bordering on rough which left John panting and whimpering.Edward pulled out of John and brought his hand up to his face. John watched him spitting in his palm and he needed him to hurry up. The hand that was supporting John’s thigh shifted to rest on his arse and John hoped he wouldn’t fall as he suddenly realised that Edward and door behind him were the only things supporting his weight. The letterbox was digging into John’s skin and he was starting to wonder why this seemed like a good idea but then Edward was entering him and all sensible thought was gone in a haze of fuck yes.

Edward gripped his thighs again and shifted him, pulling him closer as he bucked his hips. “Imagine people walking past-” Edward smirked as John cried out loudly, “imagine the neighbours.” He added and John was suddenly acutely aware that the door was the only thing separating them from the world outside so he bit his lip in an attempt to stay quiet.It doesn’t work though, as Edward picked up a rhythm, his hips snapping up into John, fast and hard, John couldn’t help the noises, couldn’t care about anything else but the feel of Edward fucking him. John could feel himself banging against the door and he could hear the letterbox rattling but it just made it hotter somehow.

“Fuck John,” Edward breathed, his head falling forward to rest on John’s chest, hot puffs of breath making his skin tingle. Edward quickly brought his hand around from where it was kneading the flesh of his arse to stroke John, working fast as he lost control and came. John followed a second later, the sight and sound of Edward climaxing enough to push him over the edge, his back arching and hips twitching.

He could feel himself slipping down the door so quickly unwrapped his leg from around Edward to steady himself. Edward groaned as John got off him and stood up properly. He felt slightly light headed and way too hot but it was a good feeling. Edward flopped forward, pressing his body against John’s while they caught their breaths. John felt sticky and as he cooled down, he could feel his skin sticking to the front door. He pushed Edward off and unstuck himself, his hand coming around to rub the spot where the letterbox was digging into him.“Do you think anyone heard?” John asked as he picked up his and Edward’s clothes. Edward just laughed in response and John felt his cheeks heat up as they headed to the bathroom to shower.

Edward ended up dropping to his knees in the shower, his mouth working John. John wasn’t sure if he would be able to come so soon after the first time but Edward took his time and set a slow pace and although it took longer than usual, John came with his hands pulling at Edward’s hair and a string of ‘I love yous’ falling from his lips.“What’s got into you?” John smiled as they dried off after their shower. Edward gave John a smile before saying, “I just love you.” John laughed and continued getting dressed.

It was after dinner Edward said, “I have an idea,” with a wicked look in his eye.John raised an eyebrow, turning to give Edward his full attention. “Everyone is away for the weekend so that means the house is ours…”He gave John a suggestive look and John gestured for Edward to continue.“We should make it ours.”John looked at him like he had gone crazy but Edward just laughed “Think about it, we have the whole house to do anything we wanted, wherever we wanted.”John caught on to Edward’s way of thinking with a smirk. “We have two days,” Edward said, “and we’ve already done the front door and the shower.”John’s eyes trailed to the kitchen table and he couldn’t hold in his giggle as Edward followed his gaze.

Edward hopped up onto the table and wiggled out of his sleep shorts before throwing them at John, hitting him in the face.  "Come on then,“ he smiled and John quickly stripped off and stepped towards Edward.He placed a kiss to his lips as he held Edward’s thighs and wrapped his legs around him. "You’re a bad influence…” John mumbled as he kissed down his neck and over a shoulder.“I’m just smarter than you,” Edward said, his voice higher than usual. John looked at Edward and sucked two fingers into his mouth.“Just for that, I’m going to go as slow as I can.” John pulled Edward’s legs so only his to half was laying against the table, watching Edward’s face as he pushed his index finger inside of him.He always looked amazing in these times and John carefully studied his face, taking in all the little sounds and changes in his expression.

John kept to his word and prepared Edward slowly, teasing and only just hitting that sweet bundle of nerves. Edward was a mess. He was sweaty and tense, moaning and whimpering and John couldn’t hold off any longer so lined himself up before slowly pushing in.Edward’s back arched, a long loud moan filling the air once John was fully inside. John loved seeing Edward like this and he wished it happened more often. He never had the time to make Edward wait, everything had to be so quick and quiet so John savoured this moment.

Edward laid flat on the table, his legs wrapped around John’s waist as John stood over him. He started moving his hips, not fast but definitely hard. Edward’s arms reached up and over his head as he hooked his fingers over the side of the table just above his head, for support.John took the sight in and moaned. He was so open, obscenely laid out for John to do whatever he pleased with him. His cheeks and chest were pink and his hair was stuck to his face in places, eyes screwed shut and lips wet.

John wasn’t sure he would be able to last much longer so wrapped a hand around him and began stroking him in time with his thrusts.Edward was making so much noise that John briefly worried about the neighbours and what they might hear. He was about to voice his concerns when Edward came, his moans even louder, his hips bucking against John and pushing up into his hand. John watched in awe, all concerns about anything other than Edward lost.He waited for Edward to finish before he began thrusting into him again, chasing his own release for the third time that day. Edward stared up at him, encouraging him by telling him how good he felt and how much he loves him and John was soon coming, everything around him disappearing as he was taken over by the feel of Edward, letting him surround him.

“God Edward that was so…” John breathed once his brain remembered how to form a sentence. Edward just laughed as he slid off the table, leaving a smear behind him. John looked at it and made a mental note to clean it before they used it for eating.“We have so many more places to do,” Edward said as he wiped his stomach clean with his t-shirt.“Tomorrow,” John said, still catching his breath.

'Tomorrow’ actually meant later that night when John got the sudden urge to blow Edward as they watched a film on the sofa. Edward was sitting upright while John was laying on the sofa, his head resting on Edward’s thigh and he was so close, he couldn’t help it as his mind wondered.John always counted himself lucky at Edward’s reluctance to wear clothes, preferring to lounge in just a pair of boxers but he counted himself extra lucky right now as he raised his head to check him out.John bit his lip as his eyes ran over Edward’s crotch before flicking up to his face. His eyes were still on the tv, too engrossed in the film to notice John’s shift.

John slowly leant back down, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the front of Edward’s boxers, letting his tongue press against the cotton. Edward sucked in a breath and met his eyes as John moved down, pressing another kiss just below the first.Edward lifted his hips as John pulled his shorts off, instantly reconnecting his lips and kissing his shaft once before taking him into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the head before expertly sinking down.John had this down to a fine art, knowing when to pull back for air and how to stop himself from gagging. He was silently proud of his blowjob skills.

Edward’s fingers threaded through John’s hair as he set a rhythm, bobbing his head faster and swallowing around him as he sunk down. Edward’s fingers pulled at John’s hair, pulling him up and off him. “Wait, I don’t wanna… I wanna… Let me-”John sat up and looked at Edward, his lips tingling and his jaw aching slightly. Edward sat up and pulled on John’s pyjamas, signalling him to take them off. “Stand up-”John did as he was told and stood up, pulling his bottoms off and watching as Edward laid down flat. He pulled John’s hand so John was lowering himself on top of him and he was confused a for second before he realised why he wasn’t facing Edward.

John rested his hands on Edward’s legs and placed his knees just above Edward’s head, turning his head to look at him once before leaning down and sucking him into his mouth again. He sunk down and hummed as Edward did the same to him, the feeling of warmth engulfing him. John set the pace, which Edward matched and John couldn’t help but think this was the dirtiest thing they’d ever done and made a mental note to do it again. In fact, he made a note to it a lot as Edward flicked his tongue against him, making John moan around Edward’s dick.

Edward was the first to come, his hips snapping up into John’s mouth as John swallowed him down. The taste of Edward pushed John over, pulling off of Edward as he cried out while Edward’s mouth sucked him clean.John collapsed on top of Edward, his face pressed against his thigh as he caught his breath, he felt foggy like his brain wouldn’t work.Edward pushed him off, letting him slide to the floor as he sat up and said: “that’s the sofa done.”“I’m worn out,” John said, “you’re wearing me out, Ed.”Edward laughed and John joined in, wondering what tomorrow would bring.

The next morning, John watched Edward as he filled his mouth with a spoonful of cereal. He waited for Edward to see him, his mind running away with the things he wanted them to do. John looked around the living room, his eyes catching sight of the sideboard beside the fireplace. He looked at the all the framed photos and little ornaments that were nicely positioned there and imagined what Edward would look like being fucked up against it.He looked back at Edward who was now looking back at him, his eyes following John’s line of sight and he gave John a sly smile before asking, “What’re you thinking?”“Fucking you up against the side, there,” John answered just before he pulled his t-shirt off. Edward did the same and before John knew it, their lips were crushed together in a mash of teeth and tongue.

John pushed him backwards, guiding him to the fireplace, not taking his lips away from Edward’s. Edward’s lower back hit the edge of sideboard making him bend backwards, bracing himself on his elbows as John forcefully kissed him. He heard a few things fall and felt something land next to his foot, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he turned Edward over, placing a hand between his shoulder blades to bend him over.Edward knocked off two photo frames as John roughly pulled his bottoms down, smoothing his hand over the expanse of skin.“I don’t need it-” Edward quickly said as John sucked one of his fingers into his mouth, “just go… please John?”

John looked down at him and hesitated. He wasn’t sure if skipping the prep would hurt Edward but he was pushing his arse back against John, needy and wanting and John was desperate so he pulled down his own bottoms and spat in his hand before slicking himself up.Edward let out a long, low moan as John slowly entered him. “Is it okay?” John breathed, trying not to snap his hips forward.“Fuck, yes, John… Just-” Edward whined as John bottomed out, his body pressing back onto John in an attempt to get him to move.John didn’t need too much persuading as he pulled out almost the whole way before pushing back in, quickly. Edward moaned and said some jumbled up words that he didn’t quite catch and John went again.

He set a fast pace which Edward matched, moving his hips back and fourth against John’s. Little ornaments were scatting to the floor and John thought he heard the sound of something smashing, but he didn’t care about anything else but fucking Edward, feeling him and hearing his pornstar esque moans.John pulled Edward’s shoulders, pulling him upright so they were both standing as John fucked into him, making everything so much tighter and closer.Edward leant his head back against John’s shoulder and John could just about reach his lips with his own, wet and hot.

Edward pulled away, making John slip out of him with a whimper. John watched him kneel in the armchair, turning around to look back at him expectantly. John didn’t waste any time in following him and lining himself up again. “Fuck…” Edward hissed as John pushed in, no hesitation this time. Edward met John’s thrusts again, making the chair rock slightly as they moved.

“You’re so perfect,” John whispered, “so fucking perfect.” Edward keened, his back arching and his head thrown back. John had the sudden panic that he was going to come on the fabric of the chair and quickly pulled out, making Edward whine.“We can’t clean the chair!” John said as Edward shot a desperate look over his shoulder.“Let’s swap,” Edward said as he sat around, tapping his thighs for John to sit on his lap. John smirked before straddling him, reaching around to line him up before sinking down.

The stretch was almost too much without prep but John was too turned on to really notice. Edward watched his face closely as John used his knees to push himself up before lowering himself down on him again.Edward’s hands came to rest on John’s thighs as John bounced himself on Edward. He felt like he couldn’t breathe properly, his breaths coming in short puffs and he could feel how sticky he was.“Edward-” John whined, hoping he would understand what he couldn’t voice. John closed his eyes as Edward wrapped his hand around him making John whine.

John bucked up into Edward’s hand as he rode him and it was all too much as John came with a loud wail, his muscles tense and body twitching. John heard Edward following, felt him come as he rode out his own orgasm, breathless and boneless.John rested his forehead on Edward’s shoulder as he stilled his body, too sensitive to move. Edward’s hand came up to rest on the back of his head as he rested his head against John’s. They stayed wrapped up for a while, just breathing each other in until John got sore.

He stood up over Edward, slowly untangling their bodies and stretching his muscles. He ached like he had been working out and he knew that he needed to shower. He reached a hand out to pull Edward up before leading him to the bathroom.

“That’s the living room done,” Edward commented as he washed John’s chest. “That’s it, we have done the bathroom, kitchen, front door and of corse, we always do it in our room anyway.”John closed his eyes and enjoyed the hot water and Edward’s hands. He tilted his head back to wet his hair when the idea struck him. “There’s still one room.”He opened his eyes to watch it dawn on Edward, his eyes wide as he shook his head. “We can’t, too weird.”John smirked at Edward and turned around to shut the water off, pulling Edward after him as he got out and headed for their parents’ room.

There was a chair by the bay window that John headed for, deciding that the bed was in fact, too weird.  Edward followed, looking uncertain but John kissed him, slow and deep and he felt Edward relax against him.“What do you wanna do?” Edward whispered as they separated. John hadn’t thought that far ahead and shrugged. He was still aching from earlier and knew Edward would be too so he figured sex was out the question.

John’s eyes flicked to Edward’s as he got an idea, excitement bubbling in his chest. “Turn around and hold the chair, like earlier,” John told him, rushing his words. Edward looked unsure but John whispered “trust me” and Edward gave a short nod before following John’s instruction.John took a moment to admire Edward’s body. His perfect shape, his perfect skin and his perfect self. John smiled to himself, thinking about how lucky he was to have Edward, to be the one that gets him like this.“Open your legs,” John’s gently said, watching as Edward did. The sight was quite something; Edward’s open knees on the seat of the chair, opening himself up for John, his back was arched with his hands holding the headrest. He looked almost too dirty.

John lowered himself onto his knees facing Edward and wondered how he was going to do this. Neither of them had ever attempted it and John felt nervous. He wanted it to be good and hoped Edward wouldn’t freak out as he placed a hand on each of Edward’s cheeks, using them to spread him open.“John, what’re you-” Edward went to turn around but John quickly dived forward to stop him, cutting his sentence short. He pressed a kiss to Edward’s entrance before opening his lips. He heard Edward gasp from above him and felt the ring of muscles flex and relax against his lips.John slipped his tongue out, licking a broad stripe up the crease of his arse and Edward made a small whimpering sound, pushing against his face slightly. John was relieved that he at least liked it, and hoped he was doing it right as he dipped his tongue inside.

Edward moaned and John wished he could see him. He couldn’t see anything though, just Edward’s fair skin as flicked his tongue against his hole.“Oh my god,” Edward whimpered, “Oh God, John… That’s so…” John couldn’t help the smirk on his lips at Edward’s loss of control so quickly. John closed his mouth around his hole before sucking, dipping his tongue back inside and moving it around in small circles. Edward cried out and John worried he was actually crying for a second before he spoke again. “Yes John, yes, yes, yes…” He chanted, his voice barely a whisper. John repeated his movements and took hold of himself, desperate for touch.

Edward was panting and chanting a mixture of John’s name and 'yes’ so John dipped deeper, his teeth catching Edward’s skin and he was suddenly coming, untouched. John leant back and marvelled at him, as he stroked himself faster, licking his lips to taste Edward and bringing himself to release.

When John opened his eyes, Edward was sitting around in the chair, his breathing heavy and face flushed. He gave John a lazy smile which John returned before checking the carpet for any mess. “We’re definitely doing that again,” Edward said as he stood up, reaching out to help John to his feet.Edward turned to face John with a smile. “I really do love… Mum!” Edward’s face and voice suddenly changed as he looked out the window and John was so confused. “You love mum? What?”

Edward gave him a look that told John he was stupid as he said, “they’re home,” while pointing at the window. John panicked and quickly checked the chair for any signs of what had happened there as Edward ran from the room.The chair was plastic so any come was easily wiped away with John’s hand before he ran into his own room, sucking his fingers clean.Edward was cleaned up and half dressed when John got there, just as the front door opened and shut. Edward pressed a hard kiss to John’s lips before he ran out of their room. John heard him greet their parents as he wiped himself clean and started to dress.

By the time John got downstairs, the story of why they were early had already been told and their mum was telling them that they shouldn’t have slept in so late. John smiled his greeting as he entered the kitchen, his eyes landing on the table where his parents were sat.“Please tell me you cleaned that?” John whispered as he stood next to Edward. He just looked back at John with wide eyes and John cringed.“I just want a comfy seat,” their mum said as she got to her feet.“Go and sit, I’ll make a cup of tea,” John said, wanting them away from the table.

“We only just has time to do every room,” Edward grinned, once their parents were out the room, offering John a high-five.“Boys!” John froze, his hand never making it to Edward’s. “What’s happened to all my pictures and ornaments?” Their mother shouted from the front room. John’s heart stopped for a second as he remembered the mess.“What have you been doing? There’s mess everywhere!”

John looked at Edward and they both burst out laughing.

[area50dununiverse]

i love your fanfic but i'm not really in to smut! so i have a non smut prompt if that's okay? you don't have to fill it i won't be disappointed but maybe some angst? your new fic had me thinking about how innocent and sweet the boys are and was thinking maybe something super angsty about them being taken advantage of in show business because they're so innocent to it all? Like them being forced/tricked in to situations idk? maybe throw in a bit of liam because I love how you write him! Thanks!

Thank you so much lovely! I will always take non-smut prompts and I know this has been sat in my inbox for aggggeeesssssss but I'm really stuck…?

Like, I’ve done them drinking and being lead into sexy situations and treated badly on shows and I’m stuck on what they might be lead into? Everything I try to write, I feel like I’ve done.

I would love to fill this so please send another message if there is anything you want to read, like if you want the in a certain situation or you have an idea on what they might be lead into, please let me know?

I’m so sorry that I suck!

[area50dununiverse]

I've just finished a prompt!

I'll be posting it later hopefully! It's a angst J&E with some fluffy smut. Lots of fluff and praise and all the good stuff. ❤️😘

[area50dununiverse]

Loved your new fic so much that it prompted this idea: john and edward and Liam play a game of truth or dare that goes from innocent to embarrassing to sexy lol

Hello! I’m so sorry this took so damn long! I hope you like it :)

“Just put it in your mouth-” Edward snapped, impatiently. Liam flicked his eyes at John who was waiting, holding it for Liam.Liam opened his mouth before snapping it shut again. “I can’t, it’s too big,” he said, looking up at John again.“Don’t be a baby. Just put it in your mouth and do it.” Edward rolled his eyes, “I’ve done it and survived.”

Liam nodded again, wishing he never agreed to play a game of truth and dare. He knew they would make him do something horrible. He opened his mouth and closed his eyes, leaning towards John. He felt it touch his lip and heard John giggle as Liam closed his mouth around it.

Liam took a deep breath and bit into it, chilli seeds instantly burning his mouth. John held the stalk in his hand and giggled as Liam gagged. “It’s so hot!” Liam spat the half chewed chilli into his hand as Edward passed him a glass of milk. He narrowed his eyes at them as he gulped his milk, hoping it would cool his mouth.

John and Edward were laughing hysterically at Liam’s discomfort and he silently cursed them. This was his first dare as his other two goes were a truth. John had asked if Liam if he had ever been in trouble with the police, to which he answered that no, of corse he hadn’t. Edward asked the next question, which took Liam back slightly, asking if he had ever been intimate with another man. Liam hesitated before shrugging and giving a vague “I’ve dabbled,” with a laugh, getting two shocked faces looking up at him from the floor, where they both sat.

The next time, Liam chose dare and that’s how he ended up almost eating a whole chilli.“Okay our turn,” Edward smiled, once Liam’s mouth felt almost normal again.“Truth.” John jumped in, “because you’ll make us do something horrible as payback.” Liam looked between them for a moment, his brain going over the many questions he wanted them to answer. One in particular stuck out and Liam wasn’t sure if he should ask it. He thought about his Edward had asked him about his own sex life and wondered if they would get offended if he was to ask about their sex life.

“Have you two ever been intimate?” Liam burst out, “Like, together?” He added meeting their eyes. There was a second where Liam thought that maybe he had got it all wrong and no, they were close because they were twins and now Liam has lost their trust and friendship.“What do you think?” John asked, a smirk on his face. Edward smirked too and raised an eyebrow at Liam.Liam gave a shrug, unsure of how to answer. He didn’t want to offend them either way so left it a that.

“Yes,” was all John answered before Edward added, “your turn Liam!” With a wide smile. Liam stared back at them, his brain trying to catch up. Did they just admit it?

“Wait,” Liam said, “have you guys just experimented or are you like,  together?”“It’s not your turn to ask questions, Liam,” John smirked, “truth or dare?”“Truth,” Liam quickly said, wanting his go out of the way fast so he can ask more about their admission. John looked thoughtful for a second before Edward cut in and asked: “When was the last time you touched yourself?”

“Today. This morning,” Liam answered, watching them grin back at him in amusement. “Okay, so are you-”“You didn’t say truth or dare,” John interrupted. Liam rolled his eyes and snapped a quick “truth or dare?”“Dare,” they both said in unison, making Liam want to throw something at them.“Fine, I dare you to tell me-”“That’s cheating,” Edward cut in, his face flat.“Yeah, that’s the whole point of truth Liam, to get someone to tell you something, dare is different,” John added, one eyebrow perfectly arched.

Liam narrowed his eyes at them. They were little shits and for the millionth time, he wished he had never got into this game. He didn’t even know why he was so bothered by it, he had suspected they were together since he first met them and he really didn’t care, he didn’t feel any different about them.But for some reason, Liam itched to know more. He wanted to know the dynamic and how it started and how long it had been going on for. He wanted to know everything and maybe, he figured, it was the appeal of twins. They weren’t bad looking, in fact, they were great looking and Liam supposed it had a sexiness to it; the thought of them together.

“Fine-” Liam finally said, “I dare you to…” Liam ran over the possibilities in his head. Kiss? Touch? No, he sounded purvey. He couldn’t ask them to do that, no matter how much he wanted to see it.His eyes landed on an eyeliner pencil that was lying on the table. “Draw animal faces on each other,” he said as he threw them the make-up.John caught it, his brow furrowed, looking slightly confused like he was expecting something else. Edward, on the other hand, looked delighted and happily took the pencil from John’s hand and went about drawing whiskers on John’s cheeks.

John ended up being a cat, complete with a perfect cat eye flick and Edward was a bunny when they had finished and Liam couldn’t help but laugh at them.“Truth or dare?” John asked, his eyes meeting Liam’s.“Dare,” Liam decided, not trusting the kind of questions they had been asking.“Take off an item of clothing,” Edward jumped in with mischievous eyes. Liam looked at them both and laughed. He knew exactly the kind of game this was turning into now, no matter how sweet they come across.

He thought about slipping off a sock, just to get them back for not answering Liam’s questions but the excitement got the better of him and he ended up pulling off his t-shirt and throwing it to the side. “Truth or dare?” Liam asked straight away.“Dare,” Edward said, looking over Liam’s body before meeting his eyes. Liam could see the slightest hint of pink to his cheeks.“Kiss,” Liam said without hesitation. He was going to play them at their game, if they wanted to push it, Liam was too.

John smiled then, like that was what he was expecting all along. Without thought, Edward wrapped a hand around the back of John’s neck and pulled him into a hard kiss. Liam watched them kiss, watched their mouths as they moved against each others. Edward’s hand held John’s neck as John’s hand came to rest on the top of Edward’s thigh.Liam bit his lip, watching as the kiss deepened, Edward’s whiskers smudging over his cheeks. They looked so natural like it was a normal occurrence and Liam wondered how often they did this and how far they took it. He knew he was a little too into this and wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or pleased when they pulled apart.

Edward licked his bottom lip as he looked back at Liam, his whiskers smeared on one side. Liam stared back, transfixed. He didn’t know what to say but John saved him the worry as he said “truth or dare?”“Truth,” Liam mumbled, trying to keep himself from looking flustered.

“Have you ever thought about us in a sexual way?” John asked, his face completely evil, regardless of the cat whiskers.Liam shifted in his seat and answered a quick “no,” while looking down at the carpet. He heard one of them laugh and mumble a “liar.”Liam looked up to two smirks and tried to keep the guilt from his face. Liam hated lying, everyone could tell when he wasn’t being truthful because he always looked so guilty. This was no different and he could feel himself blushing under their stare.

“Dare,” Edward said, his voice low. Liam looked at them both before saying “take off your clothes.” They exchanged a look before hurriedly getting up and pulling off various items of clothing. Liam watched the mess of jumpers, t-shirts and jeans being thrown everywhere before they were both in front of him wearing nothing but their pants. Liam’s eyes dragged down their bodies before they sat back down.

“Dare,” John said again, his eyes piercing Liam’s. Liam bit his lip as he considered his next dare, completely forgiving that it was actually his turn. John’s hand came to rest on Edward’s thigh as they waited, looking up at him with their ridiculous animal faces. “Kiss somewhere on his body,” Liam mumbled, unsure who he was even directing the question at.It was Edward who took the question as he sat up and leant towards John. John leant back on his hands, spreading his legs out in front of him and crossing his ankles. Liam watched Edward shuffle towards him, bracing his hands either side of John’s hip as he pressed a kiss just above his bellybutton.Liam bit his lip harder as Edward opened his mouth against the skin and pressed his tongue against John’s stomach. John lolled his head back, little pants of breath coming from his parted lips as Edward kissed him hungrily and nibbled at the spot.Liam was turned on and getting hard from the sight. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Edward to stop or to go further. He was desperate to see more, for Edward to kiss his way further down.

Edward pulled back and revealed a red bruise on John’s skin where he had given him a love bite and Liam was suddenly desperate to press his lips to that exact spot.“Dare,” Edward said, his voice too loud in the quiet room. Liam looked dumbly at them, his mind fuzzy and only focusing on the tightness of his jeans.“More-” was all Liam could mumble and Edward didn’t hesitate to climb onto John, straddling his legs as he dipped his head again, kissing a spot underneath his belly button.

John made a small noise and Liam flicked his eyes up to his face. He was flushed, his bottom lip was between his teeth, eyes closed his and whiskers had started to smear. He looked unbelievably hot and as Liam looked back down to Edward, he thought the same about him.He was biting and licking John’s skin, moving lower and lower and leaving little eyeliner smears behind. Edward’s lips were kissing around the waistband of John’s pants when John spoke. “Liam-” John’s voice was low and breathless, his eyes were still closed. “Truth or dare?”“Dare-” Liam whispered without thinking about it, his eyes fixed on Edward’s mouth.“Touch yourself-” Edward mumbled as he pulled back to slip John’s pants down his thighs. Edward wrapped his lips around John and Liam didn’t waste any time in unzipping his jeans and shimmying them down his legs. He took hold of himself as John cried out, his hands threading through Edward’s hair.

Edward’s mouth expertly worked John as he sunk down, this throat contracting around him. Liam whimpered, unsure of how long he could last. He was close already and wanted nothing more but to come while wanting it to last as long as possible.“Edward…” John breathed, his muscles twitching, fingers tightening in Edward’s hair. “Fuck, Edward-”

Liam sped his movements up, his eyes glued to the two of them in front of him. John was gently lifting his hips towards Edward, his eyes opening to watch him. Liam could see that John was close and moaned as he stroked himself.John was groaning and crying out before he suddenly came, bucking up into Edward’s mouth as he swallowed around him.

He watched Edward lick John clean before Liam came, letting out a long groan as white hot heat took over his body.When Liam opened his eyes, Edward was leisurely kissing John, their lips slowly moving against each other’s, open mouthed and hot. It was almost like they had forgotten Liam was even there until Edward turned to him with a smile.

Liam didn’t know how to feel. He felt a bit awkward but he felt too good to think about anything other than what had just happened. He felt a nice warmth wash over him as he lazily smiled back.“You didn’t answer my question,” Liam said, pulling up his pants and watching Edward stand up, allowing John to move. “Are you two like, together?”

Edward reached his hand out to help John to feet as they both laughed. Liam noticed that Edward was hard in his pants, being the only one not to come.“Well…” John met Liam’s eyes with a smirk. Liam recognised the look from earlier in the game and he knew he wasn’t going to get an answer.“You’ll have to wait ‘til next time we play truth and dare to ask us!” John finished with a bright smile and with that, they were both gone.

Liam heard the faint sound of the bathroom door closing and locking as he sat back on the sofa and smiled to himself. He couldn’t wait to play another game.

[area50dununiverse]

OMG I just received the greatest prompts! I'm excited!

[area50dununiverse]

I love your writing so so so so so much I am always desperate for more I check like three times a day I love it! Keep writing!

OMG thank you so much! It really does mean a lot to me because EVERY fic I post gives me a mini heart attack because I'm so SURE that no one will like it. Honestly, you have no idea how happy you've made me and I really want to hug you!Send me a chat anytime off of anon and we can be friends. Best friends? Marriage? Soul mates?? (I'm joking, I promise I won't try to marry you) 😘❤️

[area50dununiverse]

I love your fics with Liam they're amazing! I was thinking a sequel to the one where they have a threesome with Liam waking up with horrible guilt because he knows are young and naive/innocent the boys are and he can't help but think that he should have been the responsible one and turned them down so he cuddles with them and talks to them and they just have a really open discussion about sex with blushes at them innocently asking about filthy things (+optional smut Liam gets turned on by it)

Hello!! Thank you sweet anon, I hope you like this!! I added smut because, that’s just what I do, I just can’t resist!!

Liam gently woke up, his eyes flickering open as he stretched his body and woke up his muscles. His leg brushed up against another person and as he moved, there was another person on the other side of him.

Shit.

As sleep left him, the realisation of what he had done struck him and he opened his eyes to see one-half of Jedward peacefully sleeping next to him. He wasn’t sure which one it was due to the sleep clinging to his eyes but holy shit.

A sudden wave of nausea hit him like it always did when he felt anxious. He felt guilty and terrible because they had trusted him and he should’ve known better and should have told them no.

The body behind him was stirring and before Liam could move, an arm was slung around him and he was pressed up close, body warmth spreading down the whole length of Liam’s body. It felt nice actually, to be nestled down between the two of them. They were naturally very cuddly and warm people and Liam took a moment to just relax, a sense of calm washing over him.

He felt cocooned in warmth and something he could only describe as sweetness.Which made him feel even worse, guiltier. They’re so sweet and innocent; although Liam supposed, judging by last night, they weren’t that innocent but there was still an air of innocence to them that he felt he had taken advantage of.

The one in front of him peeked an eye open before blinking the sleep away as he slowly woke up. He looked straight at Liam and Liam held his breath, waiting for the reaction. But there wasn’t one, all he did was smile sleepily and turn onto his back with a yawn. Liam soon realised it was John as his eyes focused on his sleepy face. “Okay?” Liam whispered because he didn’t know what else to do. John just nodded before leaning over Liam and nudging Edward awake. Liam smiled despite himself, the thought that one couldn’t be awake without the other. When one was up, the other had to be too. It was sweet.

Edward stirred and shifted, his body pressing further into Liam’s and Liam wanted to let himself close his eyes and enjoy the feeling but he felt a bolt of panic shot through him and shuffled away. He knelt at the bottom of the bed, covering himself with the quilt and looking at the twins. John was watching Edward while he stretched, arms reaching out above his head and long body sprawled out, and fuck they were not shy as Edward made no move to cover his nakedness. Liam averted his eyes but then Edward made a noise, a kind of groan as he stretched and fuck.

“I’m sorry,” Liam quickly said, looking at John, who was at least covered from the waist down.“For what?” John snapped his eyes towards Liam and he could see how hard it was for him to look at anything but Edward and there was that guilt again.“Oh no,” Edward whined, “did you book us for something today? I thought it was a day off.”Liam shook his head, chancing another look at him. He was laying on his back, one leg bent at the knee, the other flat out in front of him and Liam couldn’t help it as his eyes dragged down the length of his body.

He suddenly realised that it was his bad knee that was bent, something Edward did to relieve the pressure when it ached and there was the worry. Was it hurting? Had he hurt Edward last night? “Is your knee okay?” He suddenly asked, making John look at Edward, face full of concern. Edward frowned, his eyes flicking between the both of them and nodded before asking, “what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Last night…” Liam mumbled, “I’m sorry, I should never have…” He couldn’t get his words out, couldn’t say it out loud. “You two, there’s so much love there and you need to keep that between you two, not for people like me who can’t say no.” Liam’s voice was stern, like this was some big life lesson, like the time he taught them how to turn on the bloody fridge and he wanted to slap himself because who was he to give them a telling off? they should be telling him off.

“What?” Edward sat up, the movement pulling the quilt from John and Liam wanted to scream because they weren’t helping. “We came looking for you, you didn’t trick us into bed.”“Liam-” John said but all Liam heard was the way he had moaned his name the previous night and he decided he needed to get as far away as possible because they had an effect on him that he couldn’t help.

Liam stood up and quickly pulled on his boxers that were thrown on the floor. “What’s wrong?” John asked, with a worried frown and Liam felt even more guilt. He didn’t want them to think they had done something wrong or that he regretted it because of them. Liam regretted it because of himself because he should have listened to his brain instead of his dick.“You’re my friends and I should never have said yes.” Liam answered, “it’s taking advantage.”“How?” John asked and Liam really wished that they would cover up. “It was our decision.”“You two can hardly decide on what to have for dinner most days, let alone making decisions like last night!” Liam snapped. He usually would have laughed at his remark but he couldn’t bring himself to.

“Sorry.” Edward said then, looking sad “it’s our fault and now you feel bad.”“No,” Liam hushed, taking a step towards him and putting a hand on his shoulder, “it’s not your fault. I should’ve been a grown up about it.”“We’re adults Liam.” John snapped and it occurred to him that maybe they did know exactly what they were doing. They were right, they came after him, they instigated it.

John got up and stepped towards Liam, pulling him back towards the bed and mumbling “just a lay-in, nothing else,” and Liam couldn’t resist the warmth and the comfort of being snuggled up with them.Edward was quick to reposition himself back to where he previously was, his body pressed down the length of Liam’s and eyes closed. Liam wondered why John didn’t mind this because if Edward was Liam’s, he wouldn’t let anyone within a mile of him, let alone this.“What did you mean when you said we need to keep it between us and not for people who can’t say no?” John asked as he climbed in on Liam’s other side. This made Edward lean back, looking at Liam with his big eyes that made Liam want to run again.

“You can’t just be asking anyone to bed with you, sex is just for the people you love.” Liam could feel his cheeks heating up as he spoke but John just looked even more confused.“But you have sex and you’re not in a relationship,” Edward spoke what John looked like he was thinking. Liam shifted and nodded, “Yeah but that’s different.” Liam said, “if I had what you did, I wouldn’t share it.”

“But you were only helping us,” John added with a shrug like it was no big deal and Liam rolled his eyes.“Yeah but we still went to bed, it was still wrong.”“Because we’re brothers?” Edward frowned, sitting up to fully listen.“No, well yeah, actually no not really; it’s different for you two, kinda expected.”John looked a little offended at that while Edward looked strangely pleased, almost proud. “What I’m trying to say is that I shouldn’t have been here. I helped in the wrong way.”

There was a stretch of silence and Liam actually started to relax and just when he thought he could doze off, John spoke. “Like, does it work the other way ‘round?” He asked with a frown “say if I wanted Edward to fuck me, do I have to be on all fours or will it work on my back?”Liam gave him an incredulous look which went straight over John’s head so he answered the question. “Yes it will work, same rules apply,” Liam said shortly, trying his best to keep the mental images at bay.Edward gave John a smile that conjured up all the thoughts he was avoiding and fuck, what was the matter with him?

“How about on top?” Edward asked suddenly, leaning forward to look around Liam at John. “Like, riding,” he added with a smile while raising an eyebrow.“So deep,” John marvelled, leaning forward to meet Edward’s wicked eyes. Liam huffed out a frustrated breath which got their attention, both of them looking at him with that same little smirk. “You okay Liam?” John asked and he honestly didn’t know what to say.“Liam?” Edward snapped his fingers in front of his face and Liam nodded, not daring to speak. He couldn’t trust his voice to come out even and controlled.

John started talking again but Liam wasn’t listening to what he saying, his brain too busy with the images from last night. The funny thing was, they even didn’t aim to be sexy and Liam didn’t know how they did it. But they did.He was getting hard again and he thought about leaving but knew he couldn’t get up, the quilt was the only thing keeping them from seeing. Edward was laughing now, his face breaking into a big grin and Liam smiled too, trying to make out like he was listening but all he think about was what he wanted that mouth to do to him.

Liam didn’t quite know who’s, or what led up to this moment but there was suddenly a pair of lips pressed against his, firm and warm. Judging by the breathy giggles against his lips, Liam guessed it was Edward and it took him few seconds to react.His brain battled with the situation while his dick was certain that he wanted this and gave him the go ahead to kiss him back, so like always, Liam followed instructions from the wrong part of his body.John was next to move, his lips joining Edward’s. Liam had never had a three-way song before and he wondered how he had lived his life without it because fuck it felt good.There were lips and tongues and Liam could feel them kissing each other and there was no denying that he was hard now.

“Show us,” someone mumbled, breath ticking Liam’s wet lips.  "Just like last night, show us something else?“No, Liam thought, it’s not going to happen.“Okay,” he answered, ignoring his rational thoughts, “yeah.”

John pulled away with Edward following a second behind, leaving Liam desperate to more. Edward hooked a leg over him as he climbed over to get to John, straddling John’s hips and pushing him so he was laying flat. “How do I do it?” Edward asked, looking across at Liam.Liam swallowed and took a moment for the sight before him to sink in. “I didn’t do it last night, I don’t know how.” Edward went on and Liam dumbly nodded, trying to find his tongue.

“Just. Just…”“Use your fingers,” John helpfully supplied, his hand reaching out towards Liam. He slipped it under the covers and palmed him through his boxers while Edward bent John’s knees up and lent down for a look. Edward looked like he was trying to work out a puzzle and Liam would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so turned on.“One finger-” Liam panted as John gave him a little squeeze. Edward sucked his index finger into his mouth before entering John without hesitation or warning. John gasped and his hips twitched and Liam wanted to touch him. He didn’t though, he wanted to wait until Edward was at least inside.

Liam was bordering on madness by the time Edward was ready. John was laying back against his pillows, back arched, both hands holding his knees against his chest and cheeks red. Liam lay next to him, watching intently as Edward prepared him, gripping himself tightly so close to losing it.Edward was concentrating hard and Liam didn’t think he noticed how ready he was himself, all focus on John and making sure he wasn’t hurting him. It was like Edward had completely forgotten about himself until he was lining himself up and slowly pushing in.

Edward took hold of John’s legs, allowing John’s hand to go back to stroking Liam and Liam thought he was going to come on the first stroke. Edward made an ungodly sound, a high pitched moan, long and loud and both Liam and John moaned in response. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for Liam to come, hips erratically bucking into John’s hand, moaning and groaning.

John was making little humming sounds with every thrust, his eyes screwed shut. There was a line of sweat on his forehead and Liam wiped it away, dragging his eyes down John’s body and up Edward’s until he got to Edward’s face.His face was slack, eyes hooded, mouth hanging open with the sweetest sounds falling from his bright red lips.Liam took hold of John and it wasn’t long until he was coming, shouting out Edward’s name, come landing on his chest and stomach. Edward’s thrusts were getting sloppy and Liam watched him run a finger down John’s chest, through his come before bringing it to his lips and sucking it into his mouth. Edward came, his finger in his mouth muffling his whimpers.

He collapsed down on top of John, his breathing heavy, the same as John’s. Liam watched them for a moment, still enjoying his afterglow. They looked amazing and Liam made sure to store the image away for a later date, for a horny night or a lazy morning.“Stay here,” Edward said as he lent over to pick up one of their t-shirts and using it to wipe his and John’s skin clean.“Yeah, stay here. Sleep.” John added, getting himself comfy. Liam watched him hold on to Edward, wrapping his arms around his waist. Edward pulled Liam’s arm so he was cuddling it, both arms wrapped around it while his head lent on his shoulder. Liam shuffled down, letting his eyes fall shut.He knew he would feel twice as bad later, but for now, he just wanted to be cuddled as he slept.

[area50dununiverse]

johnI and edward get caught fooling around in the toilets at school and get in big trouble John and Edward get in that first ever real fight but soon realise that when the school calls their parents the next day things will all be over and they spend what could be their last night together and love making ensues which starts off hot with Edward letting john do things he's only ever dreamed Edward would actually let him do to him but ends up squishy and soft and nostalgic with tears? Please!

Hello! I didn’t know who you wanted the fight between, so I made it so J&E argue… Hope that’s okay! I’ve been really stuck recently so I hope this isn’t too terrible!!! I also gave it a happy ending because.. y’know? 

Below as always. 

John pushed Edward into the cubicle, his lips pressed against Edward’s. He had been thinking about kissing Edward all day during his lessons. Now it was almost the end of the day and he couldn’t resist it.

“John” Edward gasped, his hands pushing against John’s chest gently. John took the opportunity to kiss Edward’s neck, making him giggle softly. “Not at school-”

“No one will know” John answered simply, connecting his lips to Edward’s again. Edward kissed him back, pushing against him and humming into his mouth.

John smiled against him. He knew Edward would give in.

John fumbled with Edward’s trousers, trying to get them undone in the tight space. “No John!” Edward whispered, his cheeks flushed and lips wet. John smirked and stuffed his hand down the front of his pants, watching his eyes fall closed, head falling against the cubicle wall.

“No one will-” John screamed as he suddenly fell backwards, gripping on to Edward and pulling him down with him. It took him a few seconds to realise that the door he was leaning on had been opened and as he hit the floor, he caught sight of the head teacher before Edward landed on him, trousers still open and John’s hand still inside.

Mr Williams looked at them both, his face shocked and mouth open. Edward scrambled up on his feet and desperately started to fix his trousers. “What is this?” The teacher asked, his voice tense. John looked between him and Edward, his brain completely forgetting how to talk. “My office!” Mr Williams snapped before walking out of the bathroom.

John looked up at Edward his mind reeling. Edward stared down at him, his face stormy and eyes fiery. “I told you!” Edward suddenly burst, startling John. “I fucking told you John!” John stared up at him dumbly, trying to figure it all out. “But no!” Edward shouted, reaching out and grabbing him “you just had to push it!” John was dragged up by Edward and pushed against the wall.

“You were so stupid!”

“It wasn’t just me Edward!” John shouted back. Edward was suddenly shoving John, his hands pressing him further into the wall behind him.

“You’re so stupid!” He cried before storming out, leaving John to dumbly follow. He didn’t know what to think or what was going to happen to them. Edward was a few paces ahead of him and as John watched him walk, he could feel himself start to panic. Edward was right, he was so stupid to even look at Edward in public, let alone the things he was doing to him.

They got to the office and was let in by Mr Williams, who still looked shell shocked. “I really don’t know where to start” he mumbled, his eyes flicking between them. “I’m going to be fair. You need to go home and talk to your parents” John looked at Edward, who kept his eyes forward, looking somewhere behind Mr Williams. “I’m going to give you that chance before I call them first thing tomorrow.”

John felt sick. What was he even going to say to his parents? What was Mr Williams going to say? It was a mess and John was responsible.

“I’m going to let your parents give you the talk” Mr Williams went on to say “but I will still need to see you tomorrow about your behaviour in school.” Edward nodded and so did John. “Now go home boys.”

Edward was the first to leave, huffing past John and leaving the room quickly without a word. John followed, hurrying after him.

He’d really messed up. Edward was mad, their parents will go mad and John knew people will find out eventually. But most of all, he was worried because Edward was so angry at him.

Edward walked home ahead of him after John gave up calling his name and trying to walk beside him. He was close to tears, John could see it; so he left him alone and settled for walking behind him in silence.

No one was home when they got in so John followed Edward up to their room in silence to get changed. They had never fallen out before, not really. Of course, as they were together all the time they bickered about stupid stuff, but John has never seen Edward this mad and he didn’t know what to do. “Talk to me” he finally said as he watched Edward change into a pair of black tracksuit bottoms. There was more silence and John was starting to think that Edward wasn’t going to answer.

“Do you know why I’m upset?” Edward asked, turning to fix John with a look “John, this is over, everything we have is over because now they’re going to know and do you think they’re going to let us be alone for two seconds?”

John fixed his eyes on the mole just above Edward’s nipple, not being able to stand looking at his sad eyes any longer. He was right, John wasn’t thinking that far ahead and the weight of what was happening sunk into John. “We’ll find a way, we always do” he mumbled, grasping onto any tiny bit of hope he had.

Edward flopped down on his own bed and laid in silence. John looked at him and desperately wanted to be close to him, he needed to just be with Edward. “Can I lay with you?” John asked for the first time in their lives. They had always jumped in and out of each other’s beds without a thought, but this felt different, like John had to ask.

Edward turned his head to look at him before nodding and John quickly joined him, positioning them both so he was spooning Edward. He rested his cheek on the top of Edward’s hair and gave him a squeeze. “This is different though John” Edward said to John’s earlier comment, stamping on his shred of hope.

“What are we going to say to them?”

John asked, his mind picturing their parents and how they will react to the news.

“Let’s not say anything,” Edward said “we can make an excuse and go and talk to Mr Williams and stop him from calling them, maybe they don’t have to know?” John frowned, his mind clinging onto a new bit of hope.

“Yeah, like we can say that I was helping you-”

“Because the zip of my trousers broke and you’re the only one I can ask to help” Edward turned around in John’s arms to face him. He was smiling now and John grinned back, the shred of hope getting bigger. “Yeah! And even if he does call mum, we can still say that, she’s bound to believe us!” John excitedly said before kissing Edward’s lips. “I love you” he whispered, pulling Edward impossibly closer.

“I love you so much” Edward answered before kissing him again.

John actually felt good about their plan, he figured it was fail proof and stopped worrying about it all. That was until Edward slipped into his bed late that night. They always waited until they were sure everyone was asleep before either one moved to the other’s bed to avoid getting caught, which John supposed was ironic considering the situation.

“It’s never going to work” Edward whispered as he rested his head on John’s chest. “We’ve fucked up. Big time.”

“What?” John whispered back, “of course it’s going to work.” Edward was a lot more grounded than John, he looked at things differently, not letting wishful thinking cloud his judgment and John wished that just once Edward would let hope take over.

“They’re going to make one of us move rooms” Edward whispered after a few minutes of silence. John’s heart sank. He couldn’t imagine being apart from Edward all night, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. “We need to make tonight count” Edward suddenly said, sitting up and shifting about. It took John a second to realise that Edward was slipping off his boxer shorts before he was pulling John’s off too.

John smiled despite himself, running a hand up Edward’s thigh. “John, i want you to-” Edward let out a shaky breath and John imagined his flushed cheeks. He couldn’t see him in the darkness but he knew exactly how he looked. “Use your mouth?” He finished weakly, his voice nervous. John froze, his heart skipping a beat.

They had only ever kissed and touched each other before. John had  once brought up the subject of blowjobs but Edward didn’t seem so keen so he dropped it. He sat up and turned on the lamp, seeing Edward’s pink face, unsure and embarrassed. John flew forwards, connecting their lips in a wet kiss, his body reacting to the idea.

John knelt up, guiding Edward backwards so he was laying against the pillows with John between his thighs, their chests flush as John kissed him. “You know how long I’ve wanted to do this to you?” He mumbled as he dotted kisses all over Edward’s chest, moving down to his stomach. Edward made a strangled noise, his hips pushing up against John as he kissed down the trail of light brown hair just below his bellybutton.

“Oh god” Edward whispered as John took him into his hand, his mouth hovering just above him. John had no idea how to even do it, but he figured he would pick up, it’s not like Edward had anything to compare it to. He gently licked the tip, experimentally before opening his mouth and taking him in.

Edward’s whole body twitched and he was making the best little sounds, desperately trying to silence himself by pressing his hand over his mouth. John soon got into a rhythm, only gagging a couple of times before he knew when to stop, his hand working the bit John couldn’t fit in his mouth. John had only just really got into it when Edward’s hands starting pulling at his hair and he was telling John to stop. He pulled off with an audible pop, amazed at just how dirty that sounded. “I’m gonna come if you carry on” Edward breathed.

“That’s kinda the point?” John whispered back, his voice hoarse, sending a thrill through his body. Edward was a mess. John guessed he must have been pulling on his own hair by the way it was sticking up in all directions. His lips were pink and red from where he was chewing them and John could see teeth marks on his forearm from trying to silence himself.

John had never been so turned on in his life.

“No, I want-” Edward was still catching his breath. His eyes were closed and his cheeks and chest were pink. John wanted to kiss him again, but instead, he waited for Edward to finish . “Do you want to-” Edward opened his eyes and met John’s stare “have sex?” He finally said and John thought he was going to pass out.

“Are you ready?” John whispered, the excitement building in his chest. John had been waiting for this for months, waiting for Edward to be ready, not wanting to push him. Edward nodded and John wanted to explode with excitement.

They decided that Edward should top and used spit to hurriedly prepare John. He was too impatient, just wanting Edward to hurry up, but Edward insisted that they do it properly so it won’t hurt.

John was a sweaty mess, writhing around on the bed, knees up and head thrown back, begging Edward to just do it.

It did hurt, John wasn’t quite prepared for how much it actually hurt at first but once Edward was fully inside and John relaxed, he found the ache strangely pleasant.

Edward was braced above him, mouth slack and eyes blown. He was moving slowly, small little thrusts that were gentle.

John didn’t ever want to leave this moment because everything was so perfect, so right and he couldn’t wrap his mind around just how much he loved Edward.

“I love you” John whispered, reaching up to brush the hair from his face. Edward smiled but John could see the sadness behind it.

“I’m going to miss you” Edward said, his voice cracking slightly. “I’m going to miss being with you.”

John wiped away a tear that was rolling down Edward’s cheek and pulled him down so he was laying on top of him. Edward stopped moving his hips but didn’t pull out so John wrapped his legs around him, just enjoying the closeness. Edward’s face was buried in the crook of John’s neck and John could feel his tears running across his shoulder and down his neck. “Things aren’t ever going to be the same” Edward croaked, completely destroying any hope John had been holding on to.

John didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to make it better so instead, he pulled Edward up and just kissed him. Edward deepened the kiss straight away, opening his lips and licking into John’s mouth, his hips picking up movement again.

John hummed into his mouth, both his hands cupping Edward’s cheeks, his thumbs wiping away any stray tears.

Edward’s thrusts got sloppier, out of rhythm and harder, his hand snaking down John’s body to stroke him in time with his hips. John closed his eyes, and held onto Edward, feeling his climax building.

The room was silent, apart from the panting and tiny whimpers and Edward buried his face in John’s shoulder again, biting down on the skin there and making John moan.

Edward was the first to come, closely followed by John. It was amazing, sweet and sad all mixed into one. John let himself go, letting the tears roll down his cheeks as Edward stroked him through his release, pressing kisses all over John’s face, kissing away the tears.

Edward pulled out and John instantly missed it, missed the closeness, missed being connected, literally and figuratively. He flopped down on top of John, both of them sticky but neither of them caring.

“Remember when we first kissed?” Edward asked, his breath on John’s chest giving him goosebumps “like, properly kissed?”

John smiled and nodded. Of course he did, how could he forget? “Four years ago, we were thirteen and you kissed me first” John said “just a peck on the lips, we were too young to really know about proper kissing.” John laughed and so did Edward.

“We were in the garden” Edward added “and you had hurt yourself, doing something stupid” he leaned up to give John a smile before laying back down “what did you do again?”

“I tried to jump the fence and fell face first over it” John said, laughing at the memory.

“Yeah, that’s it!” Edward laughed “stupid.”

“And you came running over, all worried and scared and checked me for any injuries. Then you just kissed me.” John felt the sadness again, tight in his chest.

“You told me that you wanted to kiss me forever.” Edward said, looking back up at John. John looked down at him and smiled, adding “I still do want to kiss you forever Edward.”

John wanted to take away Edward’s sadness and make it all better, he felt helpless and hopeless. “I’m so sorry” he cried “I’ve ruined everything.” Edward crawled up and pulled John against his chest, letting him cry.

“You didn’t. I didn’t mean to blame you, it wasn’t your fault.” Edward hushed. “It’s not going to be forever, things will go back to normal.”

“I’m sorry our first time was so-”

“Perfect.” Edward finished for him “it’s perfect.”

John didn’t want Edward to go back to his bed but he knew why he had to. After hours of lying together, kissing and touching each other, Edward had to leave. John watched him fall asleep from across the room and closed his eyes, not wanting tomorrow to ever arrive.

When John woke up the next morning, Edward’s bed was empty. He could hear noises from downstairs and the smell of toast came filtering through. Not that he was hungry, he felt too sick.

He made his way downstairs after getting dressed into his uniform and joined Edward at the kitchen table while their mum made breakfast.

John avoided looking at Edward. He was too sad and didn’t want their mum picking up on anything.

“Mum” Edward said, as he handed John some buttered toast “something happened at school yesterday.” John’s heart stopped beating. What was he doing?

“I caught my zip in the fabric of my pants” Edward started, making John tense. He was doing it, going with the excuse. “And I couldn’t get it done up and people had noticed and could see my pants” their mother sat down opposite them and John tried his hardest not to look guilty.

“So in the end, I asked John to uncatch it for me, because obviously I trust him so we went into the toilet where no one could see. Anyway, John finally did it but Mr Williams caught us in there and told us off.”

John stared down at his toast, not daring to look up. He wasn’t a good liar and he always thought Edward wasn’t either, but that was apparently wrong.

“Tell you off?” She asked as she bit into her own toast. John saw Edward nod from the corner of eye.

“He said what we were doing was wrong because we’re brothers.” John chanced a look up and saw it dawn on their mother’s face. “What did he think we were doing?” Edward asked, his face one of pure innocence. John looked at him and almost laughed because for fucksake he was good.

“All I wanted was some help and now we’re in trouble” Edward said, his voice distressed and his eyes big.

“Don’t worry about it.” She said “how dare he.”

John could see that she was angry now. “He’s going to call you to tell you about how wrong it is mum but I don’t understand.” Edward added, his fingers lightly touching John’s knee under the table.

“I’ll sort it” she said, her eyes narrowed. “I ought to give him a piece of my mind.”

“Thanks mum.” Edward smiled sweetly and bit into his toast without another word. John felt like he was hyperventilating and quickly excused himself with an excuse of getting his books ready before leaving quickly and going back upstairs.

Edward followed with a grin, kissing John as soon as their door was shut.  "I was up all night planning that" Edward giggled nervously “didn’t think it would work!”

“You’re too much” John smiled, excitement bubbling in his stomach. “I think I’m gonna pass out” he added, sitting on his bed. Edward sat next to him and pulled him into a hug.

“I love you.” He whispered “just, please no more being naughty in public.”

John laughed and nodded. “No more public adventures.” Edward pecked his lips once more before getting up and grabbing his bag.

“Let’s go, we don’t want to miss it when Mr Williams gets shouted at by mum.”

John laughed and followed him out. He felt like the world had been lifted of his shoulders. His fingers brushed Edward’s as they walked out the front door and Edward turned to smile at him. John smiled back, his brain trying not think about what they were going to get up to later that night. After all, that’s what got them into this mess in the first place.

[area50dununiverse]

Angsty smut prompt! Sorry if this is too far don't feel like you have to fill it! But instead of going on X factor John and edward are desperate for fame and become cam boys lol like they live stream themselves kissing or doing dirty stuff or undressing or whatever and their parents find out and are disgusted themselves so they have to move out etc to still be together but have no money so have to keep doing stuff online to get money but they are really ashamed of it and loads of angst!

Hello! Sorry for taking forever!! I got a bit carried away and made it longer and fluffier (and a bit more smutty) than I intended! Hope you like it and I didn’t just get carried away with myself and missed the mark completely!!!! I’m so nervous about this one and I don’t even know why!!

Also, I will fill any prompt, honestly, just ask!

Below as always! xx

It was originally John’s idea. Edward would sit on his bed, watching him from across the room and trying not to laugh. He worked so hard; every night, sitting in front of the webcam, dancing, pouting and taking off clothes. He never really made much money, even though he seemed to have a small following and Edward could see how frustrated he got.

“How else are we gonna become rich and famous?” John would snap when Edward told him to give it up, before turning his cam on and going into performance mode. He was naturally flirty and charming so Edward could see the appeal. Of corse, John had lied when he signed up, saying that he was eighteen; although they were still six months away from actually turning eighteen.

It was purely an accident when Edward got into the shot. John had re-positioned the cam, not realising that Edward’s bed was in view until the messages came trickling in. ‘You have a twin?’ The first one said followed by 'that’s so hot’.John had laughed and reached forward to move the camera when someone popped up saying how sexy it was that Edward laid there and watched John perform his cam shows.Edward sat up and started reading the messages beside a half-naked John, one hand on his bare shoulder.

He found it funny yet strangely exciting as John’s credits started going up with requests for Edward to join the shows. John started to shake his head; telling them, no, but Edward put his hand on John’s to shut him up before pulling his t-shirt off, over his head with a smile.John looked at him with a slight frown as he covered the microphone. “You don’t have to-”“I want to” Edward smiled “how else are we gonna become rich and famous?”

John smirked before turning back to the camera and uncovering the microphone, “okay, but he’s special so pay up if you want him to take any more clothes off.”Edward watched the credits raise and giggled while he slowly undid his jeans. John watched him, looking amused and mumbling “you’re a natural” and that’s how they both became camboys.

They became popular, but as not as popular as most cam workers and it still frustrated them. The money trickled in but they spent it as fast as they earned it. They wanted more popularity, more views and ultimately, more money. They would start the shoes fully clothed and finish them in their tiny briefs, sometimes even without them when they dared to go fully naked.It was fun and Edward had to admit that he loved the attention, loved to hear exactly what people wanted to do to him and just how they wanted him. John would sometimes put viewers in their places, snapping at the more derogatory comments and protecting Edward.

That’s how Edward gained the 'twink’ label. Someone had sent a message about Edward being John’s twink and after he had googled it to find out what it was, he naturally slipped into the role of cute and sweet. John would put a protective arm around him or grabbed him while they danced and the viewers would love it. Comments would steam through, telling them to kiss or touch and they were so close to it a few times that Edward’s breath hitched in his throat.

They eventually kissed one night when someone offered them extra money. It wasn’t strange or unnatural, just a kiss with John which, to Edward, actually made sense to share his first kiss with the one person he trusted. It was soft and slow, chaste and sweet but as the laptop chimed with another message asking for more, John was quick to deepen the kiss.

Edward worried that they might be doing it wrong, but the viewing numbers went up as well as their credits, so Edward made a show of licking into John’s mouth and twirling their tongues together. John made a small noise as Edward dominated the kiss, pushing into the kiss; too wrapped up in it to notice the messages coming in.

“You’re not supposed to be the forceful one,” John mumbled when they finally pulled apart. “They’re saying you’re my twink, I’m supposed to dominate you.”Edward gave the camera a sweet smile just as a message popped up for John to punish him. They laughed and John grabbed Edward’s chin with his hand, this thumb and fingers swishing his cheeks and making him pout before he roughly pulled him into a crushing kiss. Edward could hear their credits popping up.

They performed every night and gained quite a following. They were in a routine of disappearing upstairs as soon as they had eaten dinner, locking themselves in their room and turning on the laptop. No one bothered them, their parents were used to them spending all their time alone so didn’t ever question it.Edward would recognise the usernames and the big tippers. They knew when, what and how to do stuff to make money. More and more requests starting coming in and it was Edward’s idea to up their game. It was like an addiction, the comments, being wanted and lusted over and Edward wanted to keep that. So John agreed; they had to be more sexual, maybe do more than kissing. Edward was excited and he could see John was too.

“Okay,” John smiled brightly at the camera “today, we’re doing something extra special.” Edward sat behind him on his right side and rested his chin on John’s shoulder, looking perfectly sweet. “We’re taking a request from one lucky viewer!” John said, “we will do whatever the highest  bidder wants us to.” John practically purred before adding a quick “within reason.”

The messages came flooding in and so did the credits. Edward scanned the comments over John’s shoulder and huffed out a laugh. What was so sexy about twins anyway?

They got all the way up to £200 when the credits finally stopped rolling in. Edward gripped onto John’s arm, excitement bubbling in his chest. “Lucky you, Mr-” John hesitated at the username on screen before finishing his sentence with a laugh, “Mr Come-Guzzler-2017!” Edward huffed out another laugh and waited for the reply. He was suddenly nervous. He had no idea what this man wanted them to do and as the message came in Edward suddenly thought that they should have at least practised before going online.

“I bet your twink loves sucking your cock,” John read out loud “let us all watch him swallow.” John side-eyed Edward and Edward gave him a subtle nod that he knew only John would pick up on. He knelt in front of John while John repositioned the camera and pulled down his tight, black pants. John’s breathing was shaky as Edward threw his underwear off to the side.

John was already getting hard, which was a little intimidating; staring down at something that couldn’t possibly fit in your mouth. Edward opened his mouth and looked up at John’s face, holding eye contact as he took the tip between his lips. John made a long low sound that seemed to rumble through his body as Edward sucked, inching down further.

Afterwards, when Edward read through the viewer comments, he realised that everyone loved the eye contact between them while Edward blew John. Edward was glad it came across as sexy because the only reason he was looking up to John was for comfort, reassurance and for a boost of confidence.

John moaned and groaned, his hips twitching on a few occasions and making Edward heave. He could feel dribble running down his chin and his eyes were watering from when he gagged. John was stroking his hands through Edward’s hair, watching closely and he felt safe, like it was the most natural thing to be doing. He could feel himself getting hard and inwardly cursed his body.

Edward only remembered that he had to swallow right before John came and panicked a bit. From the things he had seen, it wasn’t supposed to taste nice and he didn’t want to fuck it up right at the crucial point. John’s fingers tightened in his hair, his breathing unsteady and his hips rising from the chair. Edward braced his hands on John’s hips and sank down, his eyes streaming as John hit the back of his throat, trying his best to swallow him down, pushing John over the edge while he did it.

John came loudly and Edward prayed that no one in the house had heard, his thoughts lost as he desperately tried to swallow John’s come, some of it running down his chin and onto his chest. John was still stroking his hair, looking down at him with big eyes and a smile as Edward sucked off.He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and wrinkled his nose at the bitter taste. John was typing a goodbye message before he signed out and closed the laptop, flopping back in his chair, looking blissed out.

Edward sat himself up on the edge of the bed, tracing his tongue around the inside of his mouth and tasting John. John looked at Edward and smiled before asking “want me to do you?” In such a casual tone, It took Edward a few seconds to actually understand what he meant. He looked at the laptop and frowned. “We’re not online though?”“So?” John shrugged “it’s for you, no one else.” Edward flicked his eyes away from John’s and gave a quick nod because really, there was nothing in the world he wanted more.John just smiled brightly before getting to his knees in front of him and pulling on his pants. Edward lifted his hips in order for John to remove them, and John went straight to work; taking Edward in his mouth and sinking down.

It was wet and warm and Edward thought he was going to come as soon as John’s lips were around him. John gagged and Edward hummed, his eyes falling shut. He thought about when he had gagged while he was doing it to John and how annoyed he felt by it. What he didn’t realise was how good it felt when you’re on the receiving end; John’s throat contracting around him, producing more saliva, making it wetter and ten times better.John sucked back up, stopping only half way before sinking back down, determined to bottom out. He gagged again and it was the best thing Edward had ever felt.

John sucked back up and Edward moved his hand from where it was resting on John’s shoulder, stroking up his arm and cupping his cheek. John looked up at him while slowly sinking down and Edward could feel his mouth filling up, could feel himself sliding into his mouth. Edward slid his hand down, tracing the tight seal of John’s lips with his index finger, feeling himself tightly engulfed by his lips. He bit his lip and whimpered as John sucked back up, Edward’s finger still resting on John’s bottom lip. Edward came suddenly and harder than ever before, his hips bucking up into John’s face, everything around him disappearing for a few seconds of pure bliss. John swallowed just like Edward had done for him and when Edward opened his eyes, he was looking up at him and licking his lips.

He couldn’t breathe or even think, all he could do was take in how debauched John looked. His lips were plumper than usual, shiny and red, almost like he was wearing lipstick. His eyes were glistening and his hair was sticking up in all directions and all Edward wanted to do was kiss him.

“Everything okay boys?”Edward’s head snapped towards the door at the sound of their mother’s voice. He had never been so glad that they had a lock on the door.“Yeah, Edward’s just messing around,” John called with a smirk, his voice rougher than usual, hoarse. “Sorry, we’ll keep it down,” John added and Edward thought he could listen to his rough voice all night.“Okay, get some sleep now.” Their mum said through the door “night.”

Edward heard her footsteps pad away before her bedroom door closed. John stood up and pulled Edward by his hand, pulling him up and leading him to John’s bed. Edward got in, followed by John and they wrapped themselves around each other, fitting perfectly against one another and that’s how their relationship changed.

They spent every night together from then on, John’s bed becoming their bed, Edward’s bed becoming a spare. Edward could spend hours at a time kissing John. He loved his lips and the way they felt against his own. Sometimes John would just randomly kiss him, even if he was half way through a sentence, but Edward didn’t mind because he would simply melt against him.It was on one of these nights, just after their eighteenth birthday, that John told him that he loved him. Edward wasn’t really working too hard on kissing John, he was just laying there letting John kiss him, just enjoying the feel of his lips when John pulled back and smiled. “I love you,” John whispered, his eyes burning into Edward’s.

“I love you too,” Edward returned straight away, leaning up to connect their lips again.“No,” John said, “this isn’t like every other time I’ve said that, it’s different.”Edward smiled, his stomach fluttering. “I’m in love with you too,” Edward said back before pressing his lips to John’s and kissing him.

They had done everything they could do without actually having full on sex. Edward’s favourite night being the one where John taught him what a sixty-nine was; laying flat on his back and positioning Edward on all fours above him.They wouldn’t do these things on cam, both of them preferring to save these moments for themselves.They would kiss and suck each other off for the camera but didn’t want to take it any further. There was a time when John had spanked Edward because a viewer had paid them enough for Edward to actually agree.

Edward positioned himself on all fours, holding onto the headboard and dipping his back, creating the perfect arch accentuating the curve of his arse. John had hovered behind for a moment or two, before hesitantly and very gently smacking him. Edward groaned loudly, just for the sake of the camera.John soon got into though and suddenly Edward’s moans and groans were as real as the red hand marks covering his arse cheeks.Much to Edward’s surprise, he had loved it; so much so, that as soon as the camera was shut down for the night, he was pushing John down roughly and fingering him hard and fast, making him come within minutes.

Edward spent all day looking forward to when they could lock themselves away. They stopped doing shows every night, only really doing them when they remembered to, but even then, Edward didn’t feel like it was as fun. John would get even more protective over him and had snapped the laptop shut in the middle of a show in a temper, on a few occasions.“I don’t think we should do shows anymore,” John said after one particularly demeaning comment towards Edward. “I don’t like people looking at you like that, I want to be the only one that gets you see you like this-” John gestured to Edward’s naked body and stepped forward “I don’t like people speaking to you like that.”

Edward smiled at him and nodded. “We won’t do any more shows.” He said before kissing him. Edward felt John relax against him and held him tight, grateful that he had John looking out for him. “Love you” Edward whispered, his stomach fluttering as John said it back.John didn’t wait to close their account, opening the laptop and doing it as soon as Edward let go of him. He didn’t post a goodbye message or give any explanation and Edward felt a wave of relief wash over him as the account was deactivated.

Two weeks later, they were called downstairs by a very angry sounding dad. When they got to the kitchen they saw their mum sat at the table with her laptop open, their dad standing behind her, not looking at them. Edward gave John a confused look which John returned before asking, “what’s wrong?”Their mum looked up at them, tears in her eyes. “Can you please explain this?” She gritted out, pressing the space key on the laptop and turning it to face them.A video of the two of them filled the screen, Edward, on his knees, sucking John while looking at the camera; John’s moans and groans filling the air around them. Edward’s heart stopped beating, he felt sick and quickly grasped John’s hand in his.

She stopped the video and put her head in her hands. “It’s not how you think it is,” John spoke up, his voice shaky. “We only did it for a little while-”“It’s wrong!” Their mum shouted, slamming the laptop shut. “The link was sent to me this afternoon and I opened it to see…” she cut off, looking away from them both. Edward swallowed down the lump in his throat and looked at his shoes.“We’re sorry that we filmed it,” John said, Edward, standing frozen to the spot beside him. “But not that we did it.” Edward looked at John, who was looking straight at their parents, standing tall and confident. Edward just felt like crying.

“What?” Their dad piped up, putting his hand around their mum for support.“Me and Edward, we love each other and it’s not wrong,” John said evenly, making their parents look like they were going to explode.“You’re brothers!” Their mum said, getting to her feet “it ends now.”

Edward gripped onto John’s hand. No one was going to split them. “No,” John said, “I love him and we’re going to be together.” Edward stared harder at the floor, wondering if he should say something. But what? He couldn’t speak, couldn’t get his brain engaged; all he could do was pray that John didn’t let go of him.

“Then leave.”Edward’s head snapped up at that, looking at his mum. “If you want to-” she cut off with a sigh before saying “You’re not doing it under my roof, so get out.”“Fine.” Edward heard John say before he was being dragged back upstairs, his brain trying to catch up on what was happening.He watched John angrily stuff clothes into a bag, cramming as much as he could into the holdall before putting the laptop inside and zipping it up. He caught Edward’s eye and froze, his face sad. “Is this what you want?” He whispered, “if not, just say and it can be over, we can stay here and not be-”“I choose you” Edward quickly said “always.” John smiled and stepped forward to kiss him before taking his hand and marching him down the stairs, straight out the front door and slamming it behind them.

They walked hand in hand for a little while, John leading Edward into town. Edward didn’t care that they were holding hands and no one even paid them any mind. He guessed that to outsiders, they just looked like two twin brothers; one making the other hurry by pulling him along. He still felt like he was going to cry, anger, sadness but also immense pride and love for john, bubbling inside of him. They had never been alone before, never had to be independent or look after themselves and Edward wasn’t sure how they would cope. They would look after each other, Edward knew that and he had a feeling they would be okay.

“Wait here,” John said softly, putting their bag down and going to the atm. The thought occurred to Edward that they probably didn’t have a lot of money left and he wondered where they would stay. Family members were off the cards.“Is it bad?” Edward asked as soon as John got back, putting their card back in his pocket and looking stressed.“It’ll be okay,” he said forcing a smile and Edward thanked God for him for trying to protect him from reality. “No five-star hotels though.” He laughed making Edward smile.

John took his phone out and mumbled something about finding a place to stay while Edward waited, looking around at the passing people. “Here’s one we can afford,” John said, “it’s the other side of town.” Edward nodded and followed John, letting him take the bag from his hand.

It took half an hour to get there. The building was run down and dirty. Edward soon realised that is was some sort of hostel that was used by drunks. “We only have one room with one double,” the lady that greeted them said. She looked tired but hard, Edward wouldn’t mess with her, he knew that.“That’s fine,” John said, gripping on to Edward’s hand, “we’ll share.”She handed them a key and directed them upstairs, second door on the left. There were only three rooms upstairs, maybe only two downstairs.

They got in and put down their bag, looking at the dull room. There were just a bed and some broken draws and suddenly Edward felt like breaking down. “It’s not too bad,” John said brightly. Edward looked at him before bursting out laughing, laughing so hard that his sides hurt. He figured this was his break down but at least he wasn’t crying.John laughed too and they both ended up standing the middle of the room, holding on to each other and laughing, tears running down their faces.“It’s awful John!” Edward laughed, holding onto him to support his weight.

John stepped over to the door to lock it before opening the window. “Smells in here,” he commented as he pulled the quilt back and frowned down at the stained bed. “Gross.”“We can lay on a towel,” Edward said, his turn to be the optimistic one.“It’s only for tonight, I promise,” John said turning to look at him. “I’m sorry.”“For what?” Edward frowned, brushing the hair from John’s face. John sighed and shrugged so Edward kissed him, “I’m proud of you.” He told him “I’m glad we’re together.” John gave him a sad smile and said “me too” as he kissed him again.

Edward didn’t dare shower that night. The bathroom was shared and it looked like Edward would get out dirtier than he got in, so he skipped it and hurried back to the safety of their room. John was laying in bed when Edward got back so he joined him, laying on the towel that John had laid out. It wasn’t until Edward was in bed that he realised John didn’t have a towel and he had used the only one they had for Edward to lay on. He didn’t say anything, just kissed him.

Edward cuddled up against John, his head on John’s chest and thought about what had happened and what they were going to do. He felt the sadness building again and finally let himself cry. John held him tightly, defiantly staring up at the ceiling as they listened to the sound of people arguing downstairs.

When Edward woke up the next morning, he was alone. He sat up, swinging his legs out of bed and looking at the door. He knew that John had only gone to the bathroom, but he hoped he wasn’t going to be long. The door clicked open and Edward stood up, smiling and saying good morning as John walked in, locking the door behind him. Edward’s smile dropped as soon as he saw John’s ashen face, dark circles around his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink and Edward stepped forwards to pull him into a hug.

“Get back to bed and sleep-” Edward hushed “I will stay up and make sure everything is okay.”“I’m fine” John smiled, even though Edward could see otherwise. “We need to go shopping, get some food and I think-” John sighed and bit bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth. “I think we need to stay here another night.”Edward’s heart sank but he couldn’t let John see so he smiled and shrugged. “As long as we’re together I could be anywhere.” He said truthfully.John grabbed their bag on the way out, not wanting to leave anything in the room. Edward was hungry and felt his stomach rumbling as they headed outside, making a quick exit so they wouldn’t meet any of the other occupants.

They went to a cheap supermarket and brought dry noodles and some snacks, doing the sums as they walked around the shop to make sure they weren’t overspending, before going back to their room. Edward fixed them some noodles and while he ate them, John picked at his looking very unsatisfied.“Edward-” John said putting down his bowl, “I think we need to go back online.” Edward paused, mid-spoonful leaving a long noodle hanging from his mouth. He could see why and knew it made sense but he didn’t want to go back to doing that. “We can make some money, get out of here-”“What about mum?” Edward asked, sucking some more noodles into his mouth “what if she sees?”John scoffed and shrugged “you think she’s going to talk to us ever again anyway?” He said, “it won’t make a difference Edward.”

Edward nodded, that sad feeling twisting in his gut again. He didn’t want to think about never talking to their parents again and the image of his mother’s look of disgust flashed behind his eyes. “Okay.” Was all he said concentrating on his noodles to keep himself from crying.“I’m so sorry,” John said, his own voice on the edge of tears “I would do it on my own but we made so much more together and-”“It’s okay, honestly.” Edward looked up and smiled, putting a hand over John’s. John gave him a sympathetic smile and reached for their laptop.“Wait-” Edward ran his fingers through his hair before doing the same to John, wiping away some noodle juice that John had dripped down his chin. “Okay go.”

John opened the site and logged in, re-activating their account. They sat and waited for an hour before someone popped up and Edward recognised the username from last time.John plastered a smile on his face, saying a cheery hello while Edward leant on him just like they used to do. A message popped up saying hello and that the person had missed them so John made some “we’ve been so busy, but we’re back” comment and soon the viewing numbers rose.

Edward was surprised at how quickly he slipped back into it and how comfortable he felt in front of the camera. John took a little while to relax into it but they were soon watching their credits going up as they danced sexily together, John’s hips gyrating against Edward’s from behind. Edward hoped this would mean they could afford a proper hotel or even a bed and breakfast and he did everything he could to be sexy, to try and make things better for them.

They ended the show after three hours and Edward was delighted when he saw how much they had made. John grabbed him and pulled him into a crushing hug while laughing and kissing Edward’s cheek. “We can soon say goodbye to this place!” He smiled “as long as we keep up the shows, I can also look for a job and we’ll be okay!” Edward’s grinned back at him before saying “I love you John” and kissing him on the tip of his nose.

That night didn’t feel too bad. Edward kept reminding himself that it was short term and they wouldn’t have to stay there for much longer. There was more arguing coming from downstairs. Edward could hear things being thrown against walls, every bang and crash startling him and making him flinch. John gave his a squeeze every time, letting him know that he was there and nothing was going to hurt him.They considered doing another show but Edward wasn’t in the mood, couldn’t bring himself to even get up. He just wanted to lay with John, let John hold him and press firm kisses to the top of his head.

They performed the next morning not long after they had woken up. John was grumpy and Edward had a feeling he hadn’t slept again. Edward woke up and turned to face him, before pressing small kisses to his face and chest, his hand gripping John firmly, intent on making him relax a little. He wanted to give John a moment where he didn’t have to think, didn’t have to worry and as John came, his eyes screwed shut and long moans falling from his slack lips, it was a relief for Edward too.

John climbed on top of Edward and started grinding down on him while Edward quickly pressed the laptop to go live. John was focused on nothing else but Edward, huffing out little breaths next to Edward’s ear and groaning quietly.Edward arched up into John and moaned, needing John to go harder and faster but also needing it to last as long as possible for the viewers. The laptop was chiming and John acknowledged it for the first time, sitting himself up so he wasn’t completely covering Edward. He swirled his hips, slowly, teasingly and Edward groaned loudly, his hips bucking up against John. Edward wanted to be inside, to fuck him but he didn’t want to do something so personal whilst online. He wanted to keep sex special, intimate and loving; not for people to get off to.

Edward came without warning, hard and hot against John, John following a few seconds later for the second time that morning. Edward pulled himself up to check the laptop and felt his heart stop as he looked at the credits. “John” he mumbled, nudging him “look.”John sat up and gave a lazy smile, his breaths coming in little puffs. “You guys are the best” he smiled as he addressed the viewers and Edward smiled too. They stayed for a bit longer chatting to the viewers before logging off. Edward was excited and bounced around the room as he got dressed with John watching him from the bed an easy smile on his face.

It took a few hours for the money to clear which they spent looking for somewhere to stay. Renting was still out of the question so they looked at budget hotels and b&bs. Edward fell in love with a traditional bed and breakfast complete with rose bushes and a little old lady who owned it so John booked them in, earning an excited kiss and a high five.“Oh my God, she has dogs!” Edward smiled as he scrolled through the photos “and we will have our own bathroom!” John didn’t say anything, just watched him with a smile.

Edward pounced on the bed and wrapped himself up in the many blankets that were draped over the double.The lady, who they had nicknamed Mrs Potts, had tried to talk them into a double room with two singles but John politely insisted they shared, earning a strange look in return. He eventually told her that he suffered from nightmares and Edward had to be close to wake him up and cue the forty-five minute long conversation about her daughter’s terrible nightmares when she was a kid.Edward liked her right away, the sadness creeping in as he thought about their nan and whether she would ever talk to them again.

John headed for the bathroom and ran the shower, stripping off and leaving a trail of clothes in his wake. “What time are we going online?” Edward asked from underneath a big floral throw.“After dinner?” John called from the shower and Edward nodded, even though John was in another room.“It smells like fresh sheets in here,” John said as he walked out of the bathroom, fully naked and dripping.“That’s because it’s clean.” Edward watched John approach and lifted the throw for him to get under.

“This was the best idea you’ve had,” John said as he wrapped himself around Edward. Edward held John’s hands against his chest, pressing his back against John’s chest. John entwined their legs and Edward felt his breath steady against the back of his neck. Edward let John sleep, trying not to move too much but he soon became bored with no one to talk to and his thoughts wandered. He thought about his family and wondered if they missed them.No one had tried to call and Edward wondered whether they should try calling home. Maybe that’s what their family were waiting for, John and Edward to call first.

Edward would choose John over anything in the world and he didn’t regret leaving but he missed home and he really missed their mum. The realisation hit Edward, that even if they patched things up with their parents, things would never be the same again. They would have still left home, with probably no chance of going back and everyone would still know about his and John’s relationship. Edward wondered if their parents had told anyone else, and if not what reason they would have given for the babies of the family leaving home so suddenly.

“Are you crying?” John stirred from behind Edward, sitting up on his elbow to look at him. Edward hadn’t even realised that he was crying and wiped his face.“Sorry, I-”“Don’t say sorry,” John soothed, pulling him around to face him “is it home?”Edward nodded and closed his eyes against the tears. “I was just thinking about everyone and that they hate us now, our own parents hate us.”“They don’t hate us, they’ll cool down,” John whispered but he was lying, Edward could tell.“They haven’t even called. Anything could’ve happened to us and they don’t care.” Edward cried against John’s shoulder. John stroked Edward’s hair, his fingers getting caught in the wax Edward had styled his hair with two mornings ago.“We’ll be okay. I’ll look after you Ed, I promise.”

Edward looked up at John and smiled. There was something about John that made him smile even in the saddest moments and all Edward could put it down to was just how happy John made him; how much he loved and trusted him. Edward leant up to kiss John’s minty lips and wished he had showered too. He pushed John back and straddled his hips, leaning over him to kiss him.John returned the kiss, slow and sweet. There was no rush and they felt safe where they were. Edward climbed off John and quickly stripped his clothes off before getting back into his lap and reconnecting their lips.

John whimpered, his hips pushing up into Edward’s and making him moan quietly. “Fingers,” Edward whispered, knowing what he needed. John complied, sucking his fingers into his mouth to wet them before trailing them down to Edward’s entrance and circling. Edward grunted, pushing back on John’s digits, silently asking.John slipped in his index finger, making Edward moan as he pushed himself down, circling his hips and licking into John’s mouth.

Their kisses became sloppy and open-mouthed, John adding another finger; adding one more after a while more. Edward lifted himself up before pushing back down onto John’s fingers, his lips never leaving John’s. Edward had forgotten everything, in that moment, all that mattered was John and Edward couldn’t help but think he was all that mattered in every moment.

Edward spat on his hand before reaching behind himself to grasp John, slicking him up before guiding him to where his fingers were buried inside of him. John’s eyes widened as he realised where Edward was heading. “Are you sure?” He breathed “we don’t have to-”“I’m ready.” Edward gritted out. He had never been so sure of anything in his life and as John pulled his fingers out, he lifted himself up and positioned himself before sinking down onto John. John made a noise like no other Edward had ever heard and it was probably the best sound he had ever heard in his life.

Edward sucked a breath between his teeth at the sudden stretch and was glad John was always slow with his fingers. Edward bottomed out and let out a long whine. He felt full, like John’s delicate fingers had been replaced with a fist, but it was a good feeling. John was holding his breath underneath him, his chest and cheeks flushed and eyes screwed closed. “Don’t… Move…” He panted, making Edward smile. Edward wondered what John was thinking about to stop himself from losing it too soon. It was usually the memory of him accidentally walking in on a naked teacher while at boarding school, her old saggy body always working to defuse the situation.

“John..” Edward breathed, desperate now “please?” John opened his eyes and gave a short nod, giving the go ahead. Edward experimentally lifted his hips a little before sinking down again, lifting a little bit more the next time.John could hardly breathe and Edward knew he had to make it quick to get the best out of it before John came so started bouncing slightly.It was better than Edward had ever imagined it to be and suddenly it got a lot better as John hit his prostate, sending sparks through his body. Edward went harder, faster, needing more and hitting the same spot over and over before he was coming messily over John, moaning John’s name like some sort of mantra, not caring who heard.John came more or less at the same time which Edward felt inside of him and it just added to his climax.

Edward flopped down on top of John, gasping for breath. His hair was sticking to his forehead and he was sweaty and sticky but he didn’t care. “I need another shower now.” John mumbled, “we can’t get the bed messy, imagine poor old Mrs Potts.” Edward chuckled against John’s chest, too out of breath to speak.They lay together for a while until John eventually pushed Edward off and lead him into the bathroom so they could both shower. The water was nice and Edward let John wash him, enjoying the feel of his hands on his skin while stealing kisses.

Edward felt different. Like they werecloser. He felt happier, like he was walking on a cloud and he hated the cliché but he couldn’t compare how he felt with anything else.He wrapped his arms around John’s neck just to touch him, relishing in the full body contact. John was more than happy with the contact, humming into the crook of Edward’s neck where he buried his face.

“I’m hungry,” John mumbled, “can we have dinner?” Edward groaned, the thought of leaving the hot stream of water and letting go of John making him pout. John kissed Edward’s lips quickly as he turned off the water, so Edward got out and wrapped a towel around himself.John lay on the bed eating a packet of crisps, his eyes on Edward while he dressed. “What?” Edward finally smiled, his cheeks pink. He could feel John’s stare and it was making him blush.“I can see why all those men online want you, you’re beautiful,” John told him, his eyes meeting Edward’s.

“They want you too-” Edward said, his cheeks heating up.“Not as much as you. You just have something better and I love it.” John was smiling but Edward didn’t like him talking like that. Edward didn’t want John to feel like he was second best because he was perfect. He didn’t compare to anyone, and Edward had always thought of him as the better-looking twin anyway.“No, I don’t John.” Edward mumbled as he buttoned up his jeans “you’re so much better than me.”Edward knelt on the bed and helped himself to one of John’s crisps.

“I don’t want to go online” John mumbled, “I don’t like doing it.”“Me neither” Edward sighed “but it’s just temporary.” John nodded and reached for the laptop, plugging it in on the dresser and positioning it. Edward huffed. All he wanted to do was hang around with John, he didn’t want to be sexy or get paid for strangers to look at his body and he certainly didn’t want strangers looking at John.John logged on and they waited for viewers to join, feeling flat. Edward had felt so happy, so relaxed but as he watched himself on the screen, all he could think about was how they got into this mess in the first place.

John’s eyes were focusing somewhere to the left of the laptop and Edward wondered if it was because he couldn’t bring himself to look at them both on the screen.The laptop chimed, letting them know that they had viewers and John’s wide smile was back in seconds as he looked at the screen and greeted the people logging in.

They didn’t make as much money as earlier that day but Edward knew they had enough for their room. A few people logged out, telling them that they weren’t as bubbly as they normally were. Edward wanted to flick the finger and tell them to fuck off and never come back but he knew he couldn’t, after all, these people were keeping a roof over their heads.John shut the laptop and flopped down on the bed with a sigh, pulling the floral throw up over his bare chest. Edward watched him for a moment, wanting to say something but it knowing what.

“Does it make you feel dirty?” John asked after a while. Edward shrugged. He wanted to say yes but didn’t want to make John feel worse. “It was fun before,” John said, “but now it feels dirty like we are making something dirty out of what we have.” Edward got the feeling that John wasn’t really talking to him, just voicing his feelings so he didn’t speak.“Like people get off watching us, does that freak you out?” John’s eyes met Edward’s for the first time so Edward gave a nod. “Why isn’t it fun anymore?”

Edward got into bed beside John and rested his head on his shoulder. He wanted to tell him that it wouldn’t be forever, it was only until they find their feet and get a job but Edward wasn’t sure if he believed it himself.

John was still in a bad mood when they woke up the next morning. He was quiet as he dressed, his face flat. Edward didn’t know what to do, John was always the one that made him feel better. He was the one that kept his spirits up no matter what and Edward couldn’t stand the thought of John being so unhappy. They dressed in silence.They had to be out of their room for 10 am so Mrs Potts could clean it, so they headed into town.Edward was nervous, just in case they bumped into any of their family. He didn’t say anything though, just walked close to John, their arms bumping against each other’s as they walked.John had started to relax; chatting and smiling which made Edward relax.

They went into a few shops and Edward was excited to actually buy a few things. They didn’t buy anything special or expensive, but it made Edward feel normal, like they hadn’t just been disowned and made homeless.They were walking through the shopping centre when John stopped to get them both a smoothie. Edward wanted to wait outside because the smoothie place was too busy so John gave him the bag he was carrying and disappeared.Edward wandered to the next shop to look in the window. It was a jeweller and Edward scanned over all the sparkles, none of it really impressing him.

“Hey!” Edward jumped at the sudden voice and turned to find a man walking towards him. “Hey! Edward? It’s Edward isn’t it?” The man smiled, stepping close. Edward frowned and nodded, his brain trying to work out if he knew him.“Hey” Edward mumbled feeling awkward and wishing John would hurry up.“I love you, you’re my favourite one,” the man said, his eyes running over Edward’s body and his tongue swiping across his bottom lip. He was tall and Edward felt himself shrink down a little. “You’re so innocent and soft.” He whispered, leaning in a bit too close, making Edward back up into the jeweller’s window. The man’s hand reached out and Edward wanted to run but he couldn’t.

“Don’t touch him.” Edward heard as John appeared out of nowhere, grabbing the man’s wrist and pushing it away. Edward breathed a sigh of relief, stepping behind John.“You’re both here!” The man smiled, obviously unfazed by John’s fiery eyes. He turned around to another man who was waiting for him and smiled before calling “look it’s the twins who fuck each other online!” At the top of his voice.Edward ducked further behind John, wanting the ground to just swallow him up. A few people glanced their way but Edward didn’t dare meet their eyes.

“Shut the fuck up” John hissed, “we do not fuck online, we never have and what gives you the right to come over and try touch my-” John cut himself off and Edward’s heart sank a little. Was John too ashamed to call him his brother? “Now fuck off.” John snapped making the man step away, having the cheek to actually look offended. John stared him down until the finally left and turned to Edward looking concerned.

“Are you okay? Did he touch you?” John asked, handing Edward a smoothie from the cardboard cup holder.Edward shook his head “no, you got here just in time. Thanks.” He mumbled, his heart racing. He flicked his eyes around the shopping centre, embarrassed and ashamed of himself. That horrible twisting sadness was back in force and he couldn’t quite catch his breath. He could see passing people looking at them, judging them. What if they recognised them too? Edward didn’t want to be knowing a low rent slut that ducks his brother for cash. He suddenly felt faint.

John met his eyes and put his hand on his back saying “Okay?” And Edward didn’t know so he just nodded and started to walk, needing some fresh air, his feet taking him away. John followed as Edward weaved his way through the people, desperate to get to the exit and praying the man wasn’t following them. God, what if he found out where they were staying? What if he did follow them?

“Are you ashamed of me?” Edward asked as soon as they were outside. John turned and frowned at him, looking taken aback and Edward almost wished he hadn’t said anything.“Never!” John stressed, “what would make you ever think that Edward?” Edward gave a one shoulder shrug, knowing full well he was sulking but not caring. “Why didn’t you call me your brother?” Edward asked quietly “when you were telling that man, you told him not to touch your…” Edward fixed John with a dirty look “you couldn’t even say it. someone recognised us and you were ashamed.”

John’s face fell at Edward’s words, breaking into a little smile. “Is that what this is about?” John asked looking slightly amused. Edward didn’t want to answer, so he turned away. “You know why I didn’t finish?” John said softly, stepping towards Edward and pulling him by his hand. “Because I almost said 'don’t touch my boyfriend’ and that would’ve looked strange.”Edward’s head snapped up, his eyes meeting John’s. He had never thought of that and now John had said it, his stomach was doing that fluttering thing again and he felt giddy. “Really?” Edward smiled, feeling just a little stupid for sulking. John nodded and kissed his cheek before pulling him in for a hug.“You had me so worried.” He mumbled into Edward’s hair.

“Can we go back to Mrs Potts’ now?” Edward asked as John let him go. They started to walk in silence, Edward’s mind running over John’s words again and again. It was a strange situation to be in. When had John stopped thinking of him as a brother? Edward loved being a twin, loved being John’s other half but he was now also his other half in terms of a relationship. This didn’t mean that they weren’t still brothers though and Edward couldn’t decide if that made it better or worse.

“We don’t have to go online tonight.” John said after a while, a welcome destruction from Edward’s own thoughts.“Are you kidding?” Edward smiled “I love Mrs Potts’ place and I’m not leaving, so unless you have a load of money you haven’t told me about, we’re going live.”John smiled but Edward could see the concern behind it, the worry in his green eyes. John didn’t say anything though and they continued on in silence.

“Hi” John smiled at the camera later that evening, “the strangest thing happened today,” Edward flicked his eyes towards John. This wasn’t planned.“A fan of ours recognised us in the street!” The messages came popping up, most of them along the lines of 'I wish I could meet you’ and 'I bet you looked so sexy in person’ but John ignored them. “He came up and started harassing us, shouting our business for the world to hear…”

Edward read the messages as they came in, all outraged and sticking up for them. Edward didn’t think for one second that they were sincere; anyone of these viewers would do the same. “-and I just want to let you all know that if you do happen to see us around, say hi, give us a wave and politely move on or we will never do another show again.” John’s voice was calm, even with a hint of anger.The messages all supported them and Edward was glad John set the rules, told them where they stood. He suddenly had the urge to jump John and fuck him but knew he couldn’t. He groaned and someone commented on Edward being 'ready for action’, making John look down at his lap with a smirk. “Patience,” John mumbled and Edward huffed.

The next day, John went out without Edward. He said they needed more food and Edward told him that he was too comfy to get up. He didn’t tell him that he was scared he would see that man again. He didn’t tell him that he was too embarrassed to leave the safety of their room.Mrs Potts was kind enough to let them stay in their room all day even though the rules stated to be out by 10 am and not back until 3 pm. She liked them and Edward loved how sweet she was and he knew john had a soft spot for her too.

So Edward stayed in bed while John headed out, warm and content in bed. Their phone rang and Edward frowned as he leant over to answer it, seeing that it was home calling. “Hello?” He answered nervously, his voice unsteady.“Edward?” Edward started crying as soon as he heard his mums voice. He wanted John to be there and he wanted his mum. “How are you both?” She asked, her own voice quivering.“Good” Edward answered, instead of telling her how really was. “how are you?”“Are you eating well? Staying safe?” She pressed, ignoring his question. Edward smiled and told her about Mrs Potts and the rose bushes, leaving out the parts about their webcam shows and being harassed.

“I’m glad you’re okay” she sighed, sounding sad “maybe we can try and call once a week to start?” Edward’s heart sank a little but he was also hopeful that they were willing to start fixing things.“Sounds good,” Edward said, hearing the school bell ring in the background.“I have to go and teach, love you. Tell John I love him.”“Okay, love you too,” Edward mumbled, feeling sad as he hung up. He sat in bed for a while before getting up and venturing downstairs.

He found Mrs Potts in the garden doing some weeding and walked over. “Can I help?” He asked, kneeling beside her and pulling on a dandelion.“That would be lovely” Mrs Potts smiled so Edward set to work, telling her all about the call from his mum and how he thought she hated them but leaving out the parts where he and John were more than just brothers.

Edward was washing his hands when John returned, an excited smile on his face. “Guess who got a job!” He shouted before looking at the mud and frowning “why are you so dirty?”“Oh my god, what job?” Edward asked, turning to face him while he rinsed his hands.“A cafe was looking for staff so I went in and they said I could start tomorrow!” John grinned “I told you that I would look after you.”

Edward jumped on John, wrapping him tightly in his arms and kissing his lips, maybe a bit too hard. “I’m so happy for you!” Edward beamed as he kissed him again.“So why are you dirty?” John asked again, making Edward shift on his feet.“I helped Mrs Potts in the garden. Her name is Rose, hence all the roses.” Edward said before adding “mum called.”

John’s smile was gone in a flash and Edward wanted to eat his words and forget it ever happened. “She wants to call us once a week, start talking again and take it from there. She told me to tell you that she loves you.”John wordlessly nodded, using a washcloth to clean up Edward’s muddy fingerprints from the sink.“That’s good… Isn’t it?” Edward tried to gauge John’s reaction but couldn’t.“Yeah” John finally smiled “yeah it is.” Edward knew that John was only saying it for his benefit so he dropped the subject.“Where’s the cafe?” He smiled, walking John back into their room and sitting on the bed. John told him about the cafe, his eyes lighting up and Edward only half listened, the other half of him relishing in John’s happiness.

The next morning, John was up and out early, leaving Edward alone in bed. He kissed Edward goodbye, which Edward had made him promise he would do the night before. John didn’t want to wake him but Edward wanted him to say goodbye.“Good luck” Edward stirred, stretching as he smiled up at John. “I’ll miss you.”“I’ll miss you too,” John told him before giving him another kiss. “Love you.” Edward heard him whisper just before the door closed. Edward couldn’t get back to sleep without John. He always felt too alone without John beside him and although he was happy for him, a small part of him wished he hadn’t got a job.

Edward got up and dressed before going downstairs to where Mrs Potts was making breakfast for the guests. “Can I help?” Edward asked, just like he had the day before and just like she had the day before, Mrs Potts gave him a kind smile and found him something to do.“Did you tell your brother about your mother’s call?” She asked as Edward whisked some eggs.“We didn’t really talk about it, he froze up.” Edward told her “I don’t think he wants to talk to her. He’s angry.”Mrs Potts moved around the kitchen like it was a complex dance, gracefully moving from one thing to another, perfectly timed. “I don’t know what happened between you two and your parents, but I do know they are a precious thing and if you can, you should make amends.”

Edward nodded, looking at the bowl in his hand. He had no idea what he was even doing and hoped that there wasn’t a wrong way to whisk eggs. “I want too, but John… I’mNot sure.” Edward said, whisking faster.“He’ll come around. Some people just need more time to heal.” She took the eggs from him and Edward felt a sense of pride when she told him that he had done well, even if all he did was mix a few eggs. “Can you go and take orders?” She asked, handing him a paper pad and a pencil. Edward smiled and nodded, taking the paper and going into the dining room.

He enjoyed helping with breakfast service. Mrs Potts had him taking out the plates and collecting the dirty ones and Edward felt helpful and needed. He wondered how John was getting on and felt that familiar flutter in his stomach. He couldn’t wait to see him again.“Thank you for your help sweetie,” Mrs Potts said, interrupting his thoughts “the help was gratefully received.”Edward gave her a smile but didn’t take off his apron. “I’ll help with the rooms?” He offered, hoping she wasn’t sick of him yet. She just smiled and handed him a duster.

That’s how he ended up perfecting the art of making a bed and cleaning a toilet. As they cleaned out the last room, Edward ended up telling her about the nickname she had been given after accidentally calling her Mrs Potts. “From Beaty and the Beast?” She asked and Edward nodded with a grin, making her laugh.

“Your brother has a job now doesn’t he?” She asked as they put away the cleaning supplies. “What time does he finish?”“Three” Edward sighed. It felt like a lifetime away.“Then how about you work here for me? Finish at three.” Mrs Potts suggested as she turned to Edward.“Really? You want me to work for you?” Edward smiled, excitement bubbling in his chest.“I’m getting too old to do this alone. You’re a natural.” She smiled as they walked back to the kitchen “I can’t afford a full wage, but you and John can have your room free of charge for as long as you need and I will pay you the rest in wages, how about that?”

Edward took a breath to calm himself but it didn’t work as he let a few tears slip before pulling her into a hug. “Thank you so much, Mrs Potts.” He cried as she hugged him back. He had missed this kind of hug. It was so different to John’s hugs, it was maternal and gentle.“You’re both very sweet boys.” She said, rubbing his back.

Edward watched the door excitedly. As soon as it opened, he was up and pouncing on John asking him how his day was. John looked happy and smiled the whole way through telling Edward about his day. Edward hung on every word, pleased to finally have him back.“I got a job too, you’re gonna love it,” Edward told him before telling him about Mrs Potts’ and her offer. John’s eyes sparkled in a way Edward hadn’t seen for so long and he leant in to kiss him, Edward could feel the sparkle in the kiss.“You told me everything would work out.” Edward mumbled against him “you promised me and it has.”

“No more cam shows.” John told him “we don’t need to do it anymore Edward.” John said as he held Edward close. Edward felt that same flutter again and squeezed John.“I’m glad we’re together.” He said, “I love you.”“I love you too,” John said before kissing the top of Edward’s hair. He closed his eyes and held onto John. He felt happy and positive, like things were truly going to be okay. John’s breathing evened out and Edward could tell he had fallen asleep and as he lay against him, he couldn’t help but think that they had made it. They had proved to the world that all they needed was each other and they can get through anything.