#jayce creating more hex tech weapons on top of that....

[sadderall-xr]

S2 Act I Viktor Thoughts™

ok but what is eating me up is that (and yes I am overthinking and assuming and extrapolating BUT)

Viktor has, along with being an incredibly accomplished scientist, inventor, and all around genius, spent most of life in pain or at the very least discomfort. Towards the end of season one, his illness was getting more advanced, he was having more trouble just breathing, not to mention nosebleeds, headaches, his experiments and augmentations with the hex core, taking shimmer for the first time, etc. AND to top it off, the emotional pain. Of being orphaned, of having to fight to prove himself in piltover, his relationship with Jayce and having to worry about whether he's going to break their promise of never using hex tech for weapons. Watching Jayce's animosity towards Zaun grow. Seeing the council's reaction to them proposing Zaun's independence. Being so close to potentially curing himself, and then boom he lost sky. Knowing he's got to destroy the one thing that could've helped him. Knowing he created something capable of controlling him and killing someone close to him. Almost j*mping. He's very familiar with pain.

So then imagine he wakes up, his body has been permanently changed by the hex core, and maybe he isn't feeling pain anymore but...what if he isn't feeling anything at all? What if he realizes, logically, what has happened to him, and he wants to feel angry or sad or scared but he just can't? When Jayce hugs him, what if he can't feel it in the same way he used to? What if the hex core stole his ability to feel pain, but also stole his ability to feel anger, passion, love, even gentle physical touch? What if he'd accepted, at some point between the explosion and waking up, that he was going to die, and he made peace with it. And then he wakes up, realizing he's been doomed to an existence that he's completely unfamiliar with, as a direct result of his creation as well as his best friend, who meant well but ultimately broke his promise to destroy said creation? He may not be in pain, he may not have to fight to stay alive in the way that he used to. But is it possible for him to feel any sort of relief or happiness in the traditional sense after being so changed? Is he still human enough for that?

If the answer is no, is he aware of that? What does he think about all this? About knowing he may not be able to feel anything again, including pain? How will he cope? How will he feel? What if the writers of arcane actually hate me? What if they wanted to see me keel over and cry and pace my room at night because they know I spend too much time thinking about this little twink? What if they seek to destroy me emotionally? What if